#I'm making more content than ever to try and get some form of progress back and i cant even get reblogs on the posts for that new content!!

[bratphilia]

his bunny (w. afton x reader)

request: "hii!! i have been obsessed with your lillard!afton fics lately and i just have to ask you to write another. i was wondering if you could do something like afab! reader is a student in college and william is her engineering professor? she is purposefully failing his class just to get his attention and some “extra credit”. but little does she know william has been obsessed with her ever since she stepped foot in his class. if it helps, teachers pet by melanie martinez could have a huge influence on this. thank you so so much!! ♡♡"

note: thank you so much, i'm glad you've been enjoying the content i've been putting out! fun fact i was obsessed with this song when k-12 first came out. also professor!william has been on my mind recently so i'm glad you requested this!! the e-mail section is a little awkward because i absolutely hate using "y/n"

pairing: steve raglan / william afton x reader

tags: age gap (reader is college age 18-21 and william is 45-50), creepy and stalking behavior from william, oral sex (m receiving), facial, dirty talk, slut-shaming, mean dom!william, desk sex

engineering. your worst class. not because you were bad at it or anything. it was all your professor.

and no, not because he's a bad teacher either. he's just so fucking hot it makes your brain go fuzzy every time he speaks. he lectures with his large hands enthusiastically. he always wears some form of purple on him, whether it's a tie or his slacks. everything about him is so intoxicating.

but he's never noticed you.

not when you try to catch his eye before and after class. not when you greet him with a "good morning, sir." and every time you've attended his office hours, a fucking ta helps you every single time. it's making you go crazy, not getting what you want.

you even started to wear increasingly skimpier outfits. you always stick to a theme of a sexy school girl, even going as far enough to buy more short skirts and thigh high socks or leg warmers. the buttons of the blouses you wear paired with them are always unbuttoned just to show a peak of cleavage. you ignore the hungry and curious eyes of your other peers as you walk by them; it's not their attention you want. still, you feel a little silly putting in all this effort just for him to barely grumble a reply back to you at your futile efforts to talk to him.

so you put a plan in action. you either purposefully turn in every piece of homework late and answer most, if not all, the questions of your quizzes and mid-term until you're sure you're at the very bottom of the class grades-wise.

in fact, you wake up the day after your mid-term to an e-mail from professor raglan. the subject was titled "Meeting Request" with your name addressed at the beginning.

"I would like to arrange a meeting with you to discuss the current state of your progress in my class. After your most recent assessment and previous assignments, I'm concerned about your future in my class if you continue the pattern I am seeing reflected in your work. Let me know if tonight at 5:00pm works for you.

Thank you,

Professor Raglan"

any regular person's heart would have sunk to the pit of their stomach if they received that e-mail. however, you are not a normal person. your heart fucking soars. you immediately jump to respond in confirmation.

professor raglan knows better than to get caught up with students, but he just can't help it! you're too beautiful to ignore.

the craziest part is he knows what game you're playing. the outfits that reflect nothing but a stereotypical, sexy school girl you would see in a porn video. and especially the way your grades have dropped recently, when you started off being one of the brightest students in his class.

over time, he noticed your lack of participation in class. at first, he chalked it up to something more serious, like personal issues. and then he noticed those lingering stares, the way you chew your pen, twirl your hair, and rub your thighs together. he knows exactly what you're doing, and he's been ignoring you on purpose. he wants you to chase after him, to let him know what you really want, but you just won't. he partially doesn't blame you either, it would be highly inappropriate for a student to engage that way towards their professor. so he ignores you during class. he barely acknowledges the way you've tried to grab his attention.

steve more than reciprocates your feelings. in fact, he's probably more enamored with you than you can possible imagine. he has all your homework, your essays, even your mid-term saved digitally in a folder, with your name as the title, on his computer. he reads looks over them when he's taking a break from grading as a way to detox, which sometimes ends up in him masturbating thinking about you. he loves to read the failed work from his dumb little bunny.

he even followed you home once. he kept close distance away from you, hiding in the shadows of every corner you turned. it's the william in him that wants that does the stalking, he convinces himself. the hyde to his jekyll; his true self coming to show in the role he plays of an average college professor, a totally normal guy with a few quirks.

your room, conveniently let him catch a peep of you touching yourself, and you swore you saw you mouth the word 'professor' when you brought yourself to orgasm.

and so he decides to play your little game. after all, you created the perfect opportunity for him, and he's going to take the bait.

steve sits at his desk, grading the rest of the mid-term papers, while he awaits your arrival. your own paper is sitting separate from the other stack, easily accessible so the two of you can get straight to "talking" about it as soon as possible.

he hears a tell-tale knock at his door, and he tries not to answer with a smile in his voice as he calls out, "come in."

you open the door gingerly, and it takes everything in him not to eye you up and down, but at first glance he knows you're in your usual get-up. it's a pretty little number; white, short-sleeved blouse, black pleated skirt that stops around mid-thigh, and white socks that reach just above your knees. you smile at him, hands clasped behind your back, puffing forward your chest slightly.

"good evening, professor raglan," you say in an oh-so innocent tone, "you wanted to speak with me?"

god, the way you call him professor goes straight to his cock. "yes. sit down," he tells you, gesturing towards the chair in front of his desk.

you sit down and your professor clasps his hands, leaning back in his chair. "i hope my e-mail didn't worry you. this will be quick."

he watches your face fall at his last few words and he has to bite back his amusement. "you see," he starts, taking your paper and pretending to look at your paper, "you didn't answer a single thing correctly. everything was wrong. it's funny, because i've heard nothing but good reports from the ta's that have helped you during office hours."

you lean closer as he continues. a plethora of excuses come to mind, none of which seem adequate for the situation he's putting it. "so i'm just wondering, how dumb do you think i am?"

your mouth slightly falls open. that was not the reaction you intended to invoke from him. "i—i can explain, i just need more—"

he rolls his eyes. "don't give me that. i'm not an idiot like you clearly are."

if anyone else had called you an idiot, you would have been offended, but from him? it goes straight to your pussy.

you purse your lips and rub your thighs together, waiting for him to continue to berate you. "is it extra credit you want?"

"yes, professor," you answer.

"then get on your knees, slut."

he rolls his chair back to make room for you and watches as you make your way in front of him. you get on your knees as he instructed, waiting expectantly.

"do i have to do everything for you?" he sighs in faux disappointment. he loves your shocked reaction that this is even really happening to you. "you wanted this so take my cock out."

"no, professor," you mumble, reaching for the buttons of his slacks. there's an obvious bulge tenting in his pants that almost makes you salivate.

you pull out his cock from his boxers and he shivers at how cold your hands are. you must be freezing wearing that outfit, he realizes. and, fuck, are your hands so much smaller that his. you begin by pumping him and then reach to kitten lick his tip.

you start to suck on the tip and he sucks air between his teeth sharply. it feels like heaven but he can't take your teasing anymore. he grasps your hair, making a make shift ponytail, and guides your mouth to slowly lower down on his cock. you moan around him causing a pleasurable vibration. he continues to use your hair as a way to control your mouth moving in a slow, up and down motion.

"ah — shit — stay still for me, yeah, baby?" he asks breathlessly. you do as he says, keeping your neck still as he begins to thrust into your mouth.

he bucks into you, grunting about what a "tight mouth you have" and how "you're such a dirty whore for your professor." you moan around his cock at his words, only encouraging his movements. the gurgling and gawk noises coming from your throat make him impossibly harder. the grasp on your hair becomes tighter and his thrusts more erratic. he's close.

before steve comes, he moves your mouth off and begins pumping himself. you watch him eagerly as he never breaks eye contact from you. when he does, it's when he shuts his eyes and groans, spurts of his come painting your face, your neck, and top.

you look so beautiful like this, he thinks, but it comes out as, "you look like such a messy whore."

you blush and lick the ejaculate around your mouth. steve grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet. you feel a little unstable but he's pushing you face forward against his desk. he lifts your skirt, which he doesn't bother taking off, only to reveal your thong. of course.

"were you expecting this?" he asks with a chuckle. he pulls your thong and lets it snap against your ass, making you yelp.

"no, but i came prepared," you say boldly.

he tsks. "such a slut."

steve prods his cock at your entrance, making you wiggle your hips when he slides it up and down your slit. you wish he would just stick it in already, but he's bent on teasing you until you can't take it anymore. he wants you to beg for him.

he moves your hair to the side to whisper in your ear. "tell me what you want, bunny."

you whimper at the close proximity. you can feel his beard brushing against your cheek. "need your cock, sir. been wanting it for awhile."

"oh, i know," he says, and you can feel the smile spreading across his face. "just wanted to hear you say it."

with that he presses inside of you, filling you up inch by inch, agonizingly slow. you whine desperately, wanting more. your fingers dig into the desk. he slips out for a moment and slams back in, filling you to the hilt. from that point forward, he starts thrusting at gradually faster pace.

the room is obscenely filled with the sounds of both of your pants and the sounds of skin slapping against skin. he punctuates every thrust with a degrading phrase. it gets you even hotter.

before you know it you're close. clawing behind you, desperate to grab something, he takes both of your hands and holds them against the desk, giving a flurry of hard, fast thrusts. moans and whines tumble from your lips as you feel your body completely captured by an orgasm that makes you weak in the knees.

steve pulls out and comes on your back with a groan himself, incoherently slurring words of "whore" "slut" and "dumb bunny." he buries his face in the crook of your neck, attitude completely doing a 360.

"you did so well for me, sweetheart."

[currentlylivingonaprayer]

my top favorite kimchay fanfics

In no particular order

(Even though nobody asked)

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40707996

dancing with our hands tied by MajorinMonster

After Chay gets jumped by a rival mafia gang he decides he needs a reputation so people won't touch him again. Kim is just there, trying to get back into chays good books.

9/10 recommend

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3061830

The idiots & idioms series by snickerdoodlles

Chay steals kims official wik account and post absolute unhinged things. Kim does nothing to stop him.

A must read for giggles

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45252880

Five Minutes by littlemisslawyer

Chays is a doctor and has been sent out of Thailand for many years. The day he comes back and wants nothing more than to take a break from work Kim has the audacity to get shot right in front of him.

Lots of cussing and chay calling kim 'pretty boy' and 'asshole/bastard'. Perfect

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43953225

Idolistic by ditchlilly

Wik centric fic. Kim likes to post false information of himself from a side account and chay somehow know what of the things he says are true or false. Kim gets suspicious and tries to find out who this boy is.

Lots of TENSION. And kittens. I absolutely love this one. Stayed awake till 3 am giggling so much I thought I would wake my family up. A must read. Definitely in my top 2.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50830555

Progression by Azile (WitnessMarks)

Porchay trains to becomes stronger after their break up, kim, meanwhile, doesn't handel it well and then gets kidnapped. Chay is one of the people to come to his rescue. Kim comes back quite damaged and chay is one of the only people he feels really comfortable being around. Both of them are confronted with their still existing feelings for the other.

absolute masterpiece. Read in one sitting, even though it's still updating. Can only recommend. This story is batteling with Idolistic for first place.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3489094

The KIM IS SO LOVED series by wayupthere

No comment. Read the tags, you'll know what it's about.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45749062

Idle Talk by Iamabudgie

After someone posts a blind item on a gossip site, Kim is forced to confront something he has been delaying for months.

Absolutely amazing. Much deeper plot than you think when you first start it. Updates are months apart, but they deliver every time. Definitely in my top 3.

~~

Edit:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52988125

I Fell for You by @liesineyes

Kims family treats him like absolute shit. Chay and Porsche just want to find out out why, while also planning to show Kim real family love.

Love this story. Not many chapters yet, but beautiful and makes me sad and happy at the same time.

~~

Edit edit:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52593382

BREAKING NEWS by Pens

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48575617

Back on the Beat by Pens

It's kimchay works, with the most beautiful fanart I've ever seen and it makes my cheeks ache form smiling.

Also check out their tumbler account @shou-jpeg for more kimchay content.

~~

and of course the overall classics like an elegant mechanism by Laughsalot3412, or meet me where the light greets the dark by froginthesun.

I know some of these authors are here on tumbler, but I habe no idea how to tag them in a post, so I will tag them in the comments. Please tell me if I forgot someone. Check out their accounts too.

Also, if you have a recommendation, I'm open for them.

[ahamkara-apologist]

Eramis things I want during Revenant (that I don't have much hope we'll get but a man can dream):

-Eramis was in the process of getting out of the solar system when the whole Echo thing happened, and Fikrul tried to draw her in with the promise of rebuilding Riis. She's intruigued enough by this and sympathetic enough to the Scorn to hear him out, but doesn't jive with his dream of scornifying the whole Eliksni race. She then vies for the Echo herself, only warning Eido of the threat, and Eido comes to us

-The Vanguard + Misraaks and Variks is initially against Eramis until Eido makes it clear that she wants the Echo for Riis and to gtfo of the system, at which point Ikora and Osiris go on Eramis diplomacy duty, offering to help in exchange for her and the remains of House Salvation to leave for Riis afterwards. Eramis does not trust us one fucking bit, but since she doesn't have much firepower and she recognizes it gets us out of each other's hair/setae, she begrudgingly agrees

-Cue reluctant alliance! Everyone but Eido fucking hates it. Eramis is soft only to Eido and no-one else, but its clear that the fight has gone out of her and that she's just listlessly going through the motions bc the fate of the Eliksni + the possibility of seeing her wife and kids again is the only thing keeping her going. Mara, Osiris, Zavala, and Ikora keep trying to talk to her about their loss in faith with the Light/dealing with grief, but it only works when Eido is there

-Misraaks gets worse. Eramis begrudgingly begins fucking around with the Darkness of Nezarec/giving us info on how the Witness's darkness worked in her time as its slave, bc while she doesn't think Misraaks has any hope, she sees the future of the Eliksni in Eido and doesn't want to jeopordize that. It's awkward as hell and she keeps making snide comments about his mother

-She also either ignores the Young Wolf or treats us like her least favorite stepchild, bc while her hate for us isn't personal, her grief over the people we killed are. The YW does nothing to improve this

-As the story progresses she starts talking more and more about Athrys and her children and talking about what she did and how she has no hope for the future, but Eido does, and while Eido doesn't like her speaking like that, it makes a very clear contrast between Maya and Eramis, one that Ikora remarks on (I want more Ikora...pls bungie)

-At some point, Eido wants to fight. Misraaks protests. So does Saint. Eramis retorts that she's the same age Misraaks was when Inaaks made him go raiding, Misraaks shouts something about wanting her to have a better life than what he had, and Eramis snarky says that's nice but entirely impractical. Eido gets a sword. She's thrilled about it

-Eramis finds Athrys (or the remains of Athrys). Its extremely emotional and lots of ugly crying and angst is involved, but it works out in the end, unlike with Maya and Chioma. This is bc Eramis realizes what she did was wrong, which is the first step of learning to be better, and even though she doesnt think she deserves anything more, Athrys is determined to shake her back to form

-Athrys also is warily fascinated by humans and keeps scolding Eramis about going to war with us, doubly so for losing. Eramis refuses to comment on this.

-With the work of the Echo, Riis is made habitable again, and she leaves to rebuild, but not without inviting Eido to come visit if she ever wishes to see their homeworld (giving us the possibility of also seeing Riis??)

-ik its unlikely but even a single crumb of serious taniks content would satiate me. Bungie please i'm absolutely obsessed with the singular pov piece we do get from him

[kat-hawke]

WoW, Dragonflight: A Review

As some people already know, whether it be from within my limited social circle or catching a glimpse of Kat in the wild, I have been playing through Dragonflight for the last 3 weeks. As a disclaimer, I did not pay for the expansion or game time, it was a gift. So I took this time to form my thoughts around the game and its changes without the bias of "I paid money for this, so I feel like I should like it".

Below are my opinions and current review of World of Warcraft Dragonflight that nobody asked for, but I'm providing anyway. Read at your discretion.

Opening thoughts:

Dragonflight, much like previous expansions, has all these new and shiny features to reel you in and, in hopes, get you hooked. The thing here is to look beyond the surface-level shiny polish when you first get started to determine whether this was a change for better or worse. There are many quality-of-life improvements to the game this time, making it much more alt-character friendly and less grindy. But there are also new mechanics that work only for the new content and could create issues for old content, or future content, if not appropriately addressed.

Additionally, can Blizzard stick to this course of listening to the fan base, or will they go back to old ways like we saw in Legion where the opening of the expansion is just fan service to lock in long sub times, and then the wheels fall off? This, right now, feels like fan service to me.

Dragon riding:

It's neat, it's cool, and it's a shiny new feature that is appealing from the trailers and video footage. But does it hold up? Well, yes, but not at first. Dragon riding, early on, is tedious and a chore, and rather lackluster. Fortunately, your progress in unlocking dragon riding skills and abilities is account-wide, so you only have to experience the worst pains once. Making the navigation much easier on alts.

Navigating some zones is easier than others. Azure Span, for example, is one big hill. Flying from east to west in the first playthrough is nice as it's downhill. But flying west to east, all uphill is frustrating if you lack upgrades. Once you spend a few hours collecting all the relics and progressing the story to fully unlock every skill and ability for dragon riding, it's fun and makes the navigation much smoother. There is a learning curve for how to manage your vigor, but you get there.

Dragon riding is a nice feature for this expansion, even if it's almost a carbon copy from Guild Wars with Spyro mini-games. However, it raises some concerns about repeatability and zone scaling. It makes perfect sense for Dragon Isle, but what I don't want to see is this feature getting replicated in every subsequent expansion like we have seen with other niche expansion features (mission tables, renown, companions/buddies). Doing so will make it stale in taste and no doubt run into a rut as they try and "spice it up" to whatever the expansion theme is.

Onto the issue with zone scaling. I'm curious if these zones were designed so large to accommodate Dragon Riding, or if Dragon Riding forced them to scale larger. I'm willing to bet it was somewhere in the middle. Because of the speed at which you can fly once maxed out in skills and abilities, this creates a massive issue for old-world scaling, if they ever wanted to enable Dragon Riding in old zones. I just don't see this as feasible, even as the community asks for it, and I don't see Blizzard willing to do the work to rescale old zones to be canonically proper and fit the scale that the Dragon Isles has set. These new island continents started to dwarf the so-called "mainland" at this point.

Professions:

This was a much-needed refresh on the professions, in my opinion. It brings back that old feeling of specialization and creates an economy where crafters rely on each other just as much as everyone else. It keeps prices in balance and everyone happy, preventing one person with several alts from tunneling their own goods. Unless they make even more alts to cover all the niche specializations.

It's also nice to see that players can make a name for themselves as "that person who makes the best" of something because they specced into a specialization and dedicated time to it. These folks have a tight market right now and can charge what they want, but as others catch up it will even out and become more open.

Side note: I think this creates nice Roleplay opportunities as well, being able to back up a claim that your character is specialized in making something in particular, and gives market events new depth and meaning.

Content:

PvE...look it's the same as it's always been. Nothing feels much different here and I didn't expect it would. You run around the world, dungeon, raid, and spam your rotation buttons until something dies. It is what it is.

PvP/Warmode. So it's interesting to me that there are gear sets for instanced PvP and a set for Warmode. I haven't seen a performance difference between the two, so the Warmode set right now does not feel like a good investment. Tuning in PvP is always interesting but it feels solid right now, despite what some folks will say when they are biased toward their own skill level only. The solo shuffle for Arena is a good addition I feel, but it can be a mixed bag. If you want to play this mode, do so with a grain of salt because it's 6 rounds and goes until the first kill per round, swapping the team members around each time.

Roleplay. Yeah, I mean. It's there. We all know some people are going to be heathens and bastardize stuff while ignoring lore. But that's not the point of this, I'm looking at RP potential for the Dragon Isles. It is certainly there, much more potential for RP than Shadowlands. Exploration-based characters, historians, and even more profession-based characters have somewhere to be here. With the military non-existent, you will need to find a reason, though.

Overall story? Yeah, it's much more enjoyable than Shadowlands, I will say that. We're not going hard on retcons and rewrites this time around, which is nice. Seeing existing characters and races get much more screen time than they previously did is also nice. This ancient evil that the titans hid away, making us question the motives, is on brand for them. After all, people who are all about "order" will achieve it by any means, good or bad. This is much more digestible than some cosmic bigger-bad like we've been chasing for the last, well, forever in expansions.

During an interview, it was revealed that quest writers were handed bullet points for a zones story and told to fill in the rest. This, honestly, explains a lot about the previous expansions and why the zone stories felt so divorced from the main over-arching story. However, that does not seem to be the case here as everything ties up together nicely. But, some of the side quest storylines definitely feel more well-rounded than some of the full zone stories.

You also only need to experience this linear progression once. Any alt character playthroughs you can select which zones to go to and when, and have instant access to the world quests. Speaking of those...

World Quests:

Much better executed this time around than their previous iterations. With them resetting on Tuesdays and Fridays only (world PvP and pet battle is still daily) it doesn't feel like you have to grind out several hours' worth of content each day. You can play at your own pace and work through 1 zone a day rather than all of them at once. The bigger WQs, such as the world boss and group assaults, reset only on Tuesday so you have a full week to do them.

World events such as the Community Feast, Elemental Storms, Dragonbane Assault, and Primalist future have several-hour cooldowns between so it's not a constant farming grind and you can get them done when you feel like it.

Renown:

Honestly, I'm still not a fan of this system. It was "neat" in Shadowlands at first but got old fast. At least this time around the rewards are, mostly, cosmetic and have little impact on gameplay. Some quests are locked behind renown levels, however, and getting the rep is still a bit of a chore, but only the first time. Luckily there is a nice catch-up bonus unlocked for alts when you meet the required renown on your main character. There isn't much to say here. It's how the rep works, and you just have to deal with it. If you pick up a contract for a faction on Tuesday and go through the world quests, you'll complete them in a reasonable time.

Closing Thoughts:

All-in-all the expansion seems to be starting off strong (though Shadowland sets the bar pretty low). My concern is that this will be a fan service period, throwing all this new shiny stuff with thought-out storylines, to entice resubs and lock in the 6/12-month subs with the rewards the dangle just to meet a metric and appease the shareholders.

I just do not trust Blizzard not to drop the ball, so to say, and fumble the ending of the expansion with hamfisted character stories and cobbled plotlines trying to make it all work. Dragon Isles has a good theme now, so stick with it. There are plenty of other loose ends in the world story that can be tied up and resolved as well, so let's not ignore existing world issues and hanging character plots.

Also, in my opinion, let's get some old zone revamping to match what is happening in the lore. Galrakands bones are gone? Cool, so remove them. Update Stormwind and Orgrimar with higher rez models. Because putting in hi-rez assets like the trading posts in low-rez cities is getting to be an eye-sore.

At this time, I still have mixed feelings and am unsure if I will buy sub time once this gifted time runs out. I still have several days to make a decision, so we will see.

[em-marti-capstone]

Week 5 - October 11

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," — quote of the week

"Nothing you love can ever be forgotten. You can always go back.

How?

Memories. They live forever, right there in your heart. Sometimes you just need to find a way to invite them out," — from the movie If because I'm watching it currently as I write this and my brain immediately was like 'write that down!!!!!'

This week, I surfaced a couple of ideas for a potential creative project.

Idea 1:

Possibly an animation or 3D model short short film? Probably nothing more than 2-3 minutes? There are two concerns though: 1) I am not experienced in animation, so it would definitely be a huge learning process. And I'm also not a pro at 3D modeling at all. I'm enjoying it, but still need to learn more, so yeah. 2) The content of the film itself is a work in progress. I was thinking one version would be from the point of view of a 5-10 year old, then transitioning to how their world develops and looks as they grow up to around 20 years old or so? Not totally sure but the idea was that perhaps the art style begins as 2D animation and then becomes 3D to reflect that change. The other concept which I like a little more is where it's possibly me (or it could be a random character I create) going to bed after a long day of school or work or just a long day, stressed and exhausted, and falls asleep, dreaming about specific old memories that overall helps the character remember that things will turn out alright. I know it sounds cliche so I really would would need to figure out the specifics of what the memories are and how they correlate to the present-day stress the character is dealing with, and I really want to see if I can combine 2D and 3D animation. Overall, I just want this video to make other people feel for those memories and relate to them in some way, and that the uncertain future will eventually get figured out. CLICHEEEEE BUT it will get sorted out.

Idea 2:

The second idea is similar to the first but in the form of a children's book; the style of one but for my age group or just anyone who's feeling uncertain about their future and needs the reminder that it's okay to look to the past to offer us some stability in the present. After doing some watercolor practice in my Illustration class and seeing a few examples of watercolor in children's books, I'd possibly try to do the same? We had to draw and paint a room, any room of our choosing, so I did my old bedroom, which will look similar to the 3D model I did last week.

Some artistic precedents for these 2 ideas:

Shelby DeGarmo; she creates pop-surreal impressionism art that explores "the delicate nature of life and relationships." Two notable quotes from the reading:

“Definitely, many of the subjects and environments I include are heavy in sentimentality. I grew up largely surrounded by my grandmother and her garden. Her house was really a place I felt a deep sense of “home” in, and I loved her dearly.” After her grandmother passed away, “I felt very lost for a while but started to shift my focus into ways where I could process grief and find a sense of “peace” if we want to call it that.”

“I think nature and animals are approachable for most folks, it’s the place where we all come from and will return to. It’s gentle, scary, delicate and vibrant. I think focusing on nature, and less human or personally attributed subjects allows for more people to find their own place, or meaning in a work. Everything in nature is trying its best to survive, grow, and often love. It’s inevitable that it can’t last forever, but long after I’m gone, there will still be children picking flowers, and fawns chasing their mothers through the woods.”

Another artist, Trevor Clare, compiled a collection of his art into a book called The Art of Nostalgia, all paintings and "hidden gems" of the Kitchener-Waterloo area, which was accompanies by stories from the residents that live in that area to evoke nostalgic feelings and memories.

Idea 3:

I also tried to think of a metaphor for nostalgia, which led me to the statement that "Nostalgia is a bed." Not sure if this is too on-the-nose as well, but a bed offers security and comfort. It's a space where people can relax or cry or express many emotions, overall recollect their thoughts and reflect. Our beds can possibly change over the years, whether its the mattress or frame or blankets, but it is almost always a space for us to not only sleep of course, but to reflect. This idea also felt prominent when I asked others to draw their childhood bedrooms or other areas of significance to them (experiment shown before). I was just drawn to how people drew their beds and what other details felt important to add in their sketches. So for idea 3, I don't know if I want to make a bed of some sort, or make a comforter or quilt. I'm unsure what materials it will be made of exactly, maybe comforters that a person would have used as they grew up, or some other material. I also thought of a mixed media piece, maybe a painting with other physical elements from one's childhood, like a quilt or other objects. Or some short film but I don't know what story that would be.

Some artistic precedents for this bed idea:

The first thing that came to mind when I thought of bed and art was Robert Rauschenberg's Bed, 1955. However, this precedent was more so because I like how he created his combine paintings, not necessarily because this was a bed.

This other precedent could actually go for all of these ideas, a short film created by Mollywood Films: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJeVQXI2Q68 This is a film about homesickness and nostalgia, consisting of found footage of the past and current videos of acceptance.

There's a few other artists that I want to look into that were suggested by Nancy, and one of them that she suggested that I did end up looking at was Kelly McGowan's capstone project (https://www.kelly-mcgowan.com/installation), in which she literally built a bedroom and created almost everything inside out of fabric. I need to reach out to her and chat with her!

Some other articles I read through that also inspired these ideas and experiment:

For the experiment, I'm still waiting on a few people to send their drawings of their childhood bedrooms and will turn them into a gif to be able to show for the midterm presentation. Here are some of the ones I have so far though!

You can see how my sister put in more detail in the toys we had in our room, our old rabbit, and computer desk which I completely forgot about. But it was really interesting seeing how differently we thought about our rooms and what details she colored in and felt she needed to add. As well, you can see how my dad and uncle drew their rooms and the different details they chose to focus on (my uncle with the posters [they aren't accurate to what they had when they grew up but he told me they did just have a bunch of posters around], and how my dad chose to detail things like their fireplace and flooring). I'll try to label these images soon but I will for the gif that I will make for the midterm presentation!

[saint-starflicker]

20 Questions for Fanfic Writers

Yoinked from @spacecasehobbit who remembers the days when works on FanFiction.Net would get spammed with hate comments for having a non-canon m/m pairing in it because (so it was implied) that was aberrant and didn't belong in fanfiction...and now fanfiction hosting websites are known as the non-canon m/m websites. Online fandoms have progressed a short way in a strange direction, but we have progressed!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 8 public ones.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? Upwards of 100,000 words since 2020, but I'm not counting the hair fic that I took off my public works list for being too junior kid gloves and fluffy, or the backdated April Fools fic that I kept off my publics works list for being too gory and sexual (also secondhand embarrassment, warning for the real ones out there who can tolerate sex-and-violence content but implode when fictional characters get awkward in day-to-day interactions. You know my heart.) Also I'm not counting my fics from FF.Net or LiveJournal, during which I had creative constipation though so that's not a lot of words anyway, and that wasn't part of the question so moving on

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bare and Fraternity, which currently have an active online fandom of fewer than 15 people combined. (Bare might skyrocket to maybe 38 active fans sometimes, maybe it's the summer.) I've dabbled in Babel and Dead Poets Society, because I'm in my Dark Academia era.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have 8 public fanfictions, so it's easier to say than none of the 3 Fraternity fanfictions made it to the top 5 in kudos. I am slowly working on what I expect to be the next three flop fics regardless.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do try to. Mostly I fail.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a tough one because I tend to write happy ever afters or mixed-bag ever afters, but not outright "farewell cruel world!" type endings usually. I would say Pygmalion Retold is the one, but I'll give honorable mention to have a cross to wear but the bolt reminds me because...it was supposed to end at chapter 6 though. While I liveblogged my process in the BAPO Discord and said "I can't keep them apart, they're too cute together" while experimenting with the seventh chapter...the central conflict* was one that still isn't worked through, that I knew when I started it wouldn't be worked through, and being cute together isn't conflict resolution.

* Peter never really forgave Jason for the plot of Bare, in this fic. Extradiegetically: it's been 25 years, maybe let's all forgive the teenager from 1999 for having internalized homophobia?? Jason's already dead what more apology do we want.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Speak Again, Bright Angel definitely. Let's get the Dark Academia gay boys out of school and into a space opera with giant mecha robot space ships that also shoot laser beams. The giant robots combine to make an even more giant-er robot. Changing the setting and genre to something as epic as that calls for epic victory or epic tragedy. I went for the former.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Probably, but not where I can find them. I got much more hate on my original fiction back in like 2007.

It's the internet, so there's gotta be a hater somewhere sometimes about really any goddamn thing for eyebrow-raisingly ulterior reasons that don't make sense or apply. I knit! There's knitting community drama! I paint watercolors, and some communities are yellow ochre exclusionists while mudslinging about the difference between granulation and flocculation. Human beings were not built to interact with each other or form communities.

9. Do you write smut? I have no qualms about writing explicit sex scenes. When the language to do that is either clinical or vulgar and I don't want to write like that, though, then I look for a Secret Third Thing and then maybe it's disqualified from smut because of that? Or maybe it isn't because it's still definitely obviously sex that they're doing. That's why I still don't know if I have written smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? Yes.

11. What's the wildest one you've written? It's in my drafts: a Fraternity crossover with Gregg Araki's road trip film The Living End and Scott Heim's Mysterious Skin. There's a prequel that I want to post the same time as the main story. The prequel is more complete than the main story because I was writing both parts at the same time, so it's not a prequel anymore.

I still would like to read Daniel Preston (Fraternity) and Farleigh Start (Saltburn) in a room together. Nothing smutty, I think they would just have a lot to talk about, such as what it's like being Black American demisexual/pansexual men written by white people. I want to read that but I don't want to be the one to write it. (But that wasn't the question.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I was requested permission to translate, appropriately, my one contribution to the Babel fandom. 🥳 Of course I granted it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! Never say never, but right now I know my process and a co-writer doesn't fit in it.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I think I still have a soft spot for Naoto Shirogane and Kanji Tatsumi from Persona 4, and Ruta Skadi with Serafina Pekkala with Lee Scoresby (but not Ruta Skadi with Lee Scoresby; she will kill and eat that rabbit) from the His Dark Materials trilogy book series, but right now Peter Simmonds and Jason McConnell are the most loyal and insistent patrons of the fanfiction café in my mind.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but you doubt you ever will? halp

16. What are your writing strengths?

This is funny to follow question 15 with but I usually know how to troubleshoot when I get stuck. I don't much like my writing style now, but after I'm done I still like that I turned a premise into a plot. I think plotting is my strength, although I have also gotten compliments on my dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Around the 18'000-word mark, if the story isn't finished yet, I lie down on the floor and throw a tantrum like a toddler because I want the story to be finished already so that I can do literally anything else with my life. I say that I get compliments on my dialogue, but I also know a major weakness I have is an over-reliance on dialogue. Finally, I post before I clear my mind enough to even self-edit, so very often I will re-read later and then edit a patch over a continuity error...which means that I know the iceberg-tip of my first-draft continuity errors. I have not mentioned my bog-standard sentence structuring and utterly potato punctuation use.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It could happen.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Book Series That Must Not Be Named, in pencil and lined notebook paper. I think the first one I posted online was for His Dark Materials, though.

20. Favorite fic you've written? I love them all equally.

[hormonalharmonyhlt]

Hormonal Harmony HB-5 Reviews - Are You Need To Know About It?

"I'm on a diet". Hormonal Harmony HB-5 Reviews Do those words sound familiar? It is proven that "diets" do not work for long term weight loss. When you go on a diet, you tend to starve yourself, but your body needs food to produce energy. What you need is a lifestyle change, not a "diet", to lose weight and keep it off.

Fish is a super-food, and dieters everywhere fail to take advantage of its amazing nutritional benefits. Packed full of protein, omega-3, and other healthy components, fish makes you feel full without loading your body full of calories or saturated fat. Any form of shellfish is also an excellent choice, providing the same health benefits.

Have realistic expectations about the weight loss you're aiming for! Models and movie stars have personal trainers and airbrushing on their side. You should be sure that your goals are feasible. Consider asking your doctor what an ideal weight for your height and sex may be, since everybody is different. You may find you don't have far to go to get an optimal body composition!

When beginning your diet, Hormonal Harmony HB-5 learn to read food labels. Reading and understanding food labels is essential because if you cannot read labels it is hard to make good choices at the grocery store. When you can read food labels you can make educated decisions about what foods are healthy and which are not.

Cooking your own food can be very useful if you are trying to lose weight. Many people buy processed foods because it is quicker and simpler than cooking and baking. However, unless you are a careful label reader, it can be difficult to know exactly what you are putting in your body. Portion sizes are bigger now than ever before. Cooking allows you to control what you put into your food and hence what goes into your body. Many cookbooks have calories listed near the recipe, so you can monitor your intake.

A good way to help you lose weight is to stay current with all of the scientific information regarding nutrition. Periodically, studies are released that show whether certain foods can be good or bad for us. Studies like these can be really enlightening and might make you adjust your diet.

Adding a variety of spices to your food can help you on your weight loss journey. Hormonal Harmony HB-5 Reviews One common complaint that many dieters share is they feel their food tastes too bland. Herbs are calorie-free and help to make any meal taste more flavorful. This means that you will consume more healthy foods and have less room for other items.

Track the calories you consume. Purchase a spiral notebook to keep track of your progress. Turn this notebook into a personal food journal. Make a note of not just what you eat, but how much of it, the estimated caloric content, and what time of day you eat it. This is an excellent method of monitoring what you're consuming and keeping track of your progress.

Turn off the television and sit together as a family when eating. Distractions are a problem with most kids. When you take any distractions like TV out of the way, your child can focus on eating. Sitting together as a family also promotes a sense of well-being that makes your child want to eat and enjoy family time.

A lot of dieters will turn to procedures like liposuction in order to "lose" weight. Well, this isn't actually losing anything in the grand scheme of things. Yes, fat sucked out of you may cause you to appear thinner, but unless you're dealing with how you eat and exercise, you'll just put that fat back on again and then some.

When cooking with meat, Hormonal Harmony HB-5 one trick to stretching it, is to pound it flat before you cook it. You will be cooking much thiner pieces, which will cut way back on the amount of cooking time. You will also tend to eat less since the meat will go a lot farther than taking thick bites.

Whenever you get that gnawing craving for a certain food, grab your phone and call a friend and chat for a bit. Redirecting your mind to something else will help keep you from giving in to that food that your mind is stuck on. Research has revealed that cravings generally last for about 5 minutes. By the time you have hung up from having that chat, your desire to gorge yourself with junk should have passed.

Plan what you will eat based on your activity level for the day. If you will be participating in strenuous activities, it's OK to eat a larger meal with more calories. If your day involves sitting behind a desk, keep the meal small. This is the most effective way to ensure your body can burn off what it consumes.

If you are used to having bacon bits all over your salads, you can have something similar that is much more healthy. Taking low fat ham and crisping it in a non-stick pan, can have the same effect as bacon. Crumble it up and sprinkle it on your salads.

Some people believe that if you eat less than at least three meals a day you'll lose weight, but that's not the case. Eating less then what you normally should intake for your body is actually bad for your body. You need to eat enough so your body can function properly, just limit yourself to not over eating. Weight Loss You also need to watch the type of food you eat, instead of eating chips for a snack have some fruit. What you eat directly takes a toll on your body type, so be sure to eat as healthy as you can.

As you can see, it is important to eat. You need to make a lifestyle change in order to lose weight and keep it off. Food offers nutrients that are important to maintaining your body. No diet will offer you the nutrients your body needs. Only a lifestyle change will give you what your body needs and wants, and will help you lose weight.

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[tokoyamisstuff]

Dangerous Obsession - Yandere! Loki x Reader

After wreaking havoc one too many times, Loki’s family gets him locked up at a secured psych ward. As a nurse, workplace-romances were a No-Go for you - but how long can you withstand the dark charm of your patient?

After this Imagine by @dyns33 .🔝 You should really consider following them for more great content! 💌

"I'm not seeking penace for what I've done, Father. I'm asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do."

- Daredevil

Warnings: Violence, Cussing, Unhealthy Relationship, Mental Illness, Sexual Harassment (not by Loki tho), Murder

Words: ~6500

A/N: Usually I'm more the Canon Divergence kinda person rather than AU, so please be patient with me on this one.

Everything was just as you remembered it.

Of course, it had only been 5 years since you had left your hometown and moved to a greater city, wanting to be closer to your boyfriend...

...well, now ex-boyfriend, to be precize.

Not that it mattered much to you anymore - after everything he's done, you were only mad at the amount of time you had wasted on him.

You had never been a person to embrace change, so that step you dared back then was really out of character. And now here you were again, the same hospital, the same changing room, even the same locker. How nostalgic.

As if they had reserved it only in case you ever came back, and that constant familiarity sure was comforting in times like these.

Still, no matter how glad and you felt to be closer to friends and family again, you couldn't help but feeling embarassed.

Of not being able to endure the loneliness, coming back just like that even though you could've made a living there all by yourself.

"Welcome home, Y/N" a low voice welcomned you jokingly, "It's good to see you again. Your departure really had left a hole in our unit."

It was Dr. Meyer, caging you in for a hug before you were even able to respond. Still the confident one, you thought.

Back then he was one of the rather arrogant interns, his disrespectful demeanour making work harder for everyone around him.

However, even back then he had taken a liking to you, probably due to your calm and patient character - most would say you were easy to exploit due to your kindhearted nature, but you'd refuse to admit that to yourself.

Well, back then you'd always decline his offers to meet outside of work:

Don't fuck the company, or so they said. That saying was unwritten law, especially in a small-town-hospital like this was one, where everyone basically knew everyone anyway.

His nametag told you that he had already climbed the carrier ladder and was now the leading senior of the psych ward.

Good for him, you thought.

You swallowed the bitter aftertaste of that way too long, involuntary hug and forced yourself to smile - you'd have to work closely starting today, so better not leave a bad impression.

"Glad to be of service." Your flight instinct kicked in at that weird atmosphere, nervously tapping with your foot. "But I gotta go now. Can't afford to be late on my first day!"

Like that, you quickly clawed in your bag and waved him goodbye as if it wasn't something personal.

Rushing through the hallways, trying to avoid longer conversations with old colleagues, there you finally were: The psych ward.

It was separated from the rest of the hospital, especially build to fit the overwhelmingly increasing need for therapy in today's civilization.

A few years ago, you'd never imagined to work here...

The workfield differentiated widely from other form of medicine and nursing, and you had always been a rather med-surg interested person.

Yet you didn't want to feel like you'd come back here without making any progress, so starting anew in another field would at least give you a little challenge and fresh wind.

"Good morning everyone, I'm Y/N YL/N. Nice to meet all of you."

After a while of greeting your new team and some smalltalk, the charge nurse would show you around. She then gave you some brief instructions and informations about the station and your tasks for the respective shift.

That was all the induction you'd get - because of course and as always you were short-staffed.

So from day one, you'd have to take at least one patient on your own, always able to ask anything in case you were uncertain.

"Don't worry" your colleague Jenny told you in a cheerful yet also worried tone. "That's a rather easy patient. I mean, his illness is complicated but I mean you won't have much work with him. Taking vitals, giving meds and else...you know, the basics."

She led you through the surprisingly full hallway, passing group therapy and sitting rooms, until you stood in front of the last door of the station - room 413. "That's our isolation room"

"Isolation? Is he contagious?" you wondered, seeing through the little window in the door just to see that the patient inside was hiding from your observation.

"Yeah, about that..." Jenby rubbed the back of her head, just to be cut off by Dr. Meyer which almost magically appeared behind you, his hand on your shoulder making you jump.

Hopefully you won't have to get used to such kind of advances, but for now you'd wave it off as an overly affective manner - he should just not overstep a line.

Maybe you'll tell him to tone it down a little after your probation is over.

"No, not like that" Meyer explained, rubbing his goatee as if buried in deep thought. "The patient's name is Loki Odinson. An interesting case, actually. A judge ordered special measurements of isolation, even though he is already in a locked station. Under no circumstances is he to leave his room, use of electronic devices forbidden. Any potential weaponry has been removed from the room as well, so don't worry. He is highly intelligent, so he won't do anything reckless. He knows that escaping isn't possible, so he hasn't attacked any of the staff up until now, and has not used any form of violence either. Actually, he doesn’t harm anyone he’s not particulary involved with or could profit from."

"But there can always be a first time" you thought, swallowing harshly to get that constricting feel of a lump ouf your throat.

Great. Wonderful. So they put a completely new nurse in potential danger she cannot possibly deal with?!?

Busy as they were, both of them would utter some words of encouragement and were very eager to get away from that particular room as fast as possible.

Well, you were used to deal with the unwanted workload. What doesn't kill you...quite literally.

You snatched his patient record, first of all reading his medical history to brace yourself for what's to come:

"32-year old caucasian male, single and with no children. Already behavioraly issues since early childhood, according to parents. Extraordinarily intelligence, yet low emotional capabilities, especially empathy and frustration tolerance. Fear of abandonment. Complicated relationship to his brother, constantly switching between relying on his forgiving nature and rivalry because of his popularity and achievements. Now facing identity crisis after having found out about being adopted, ashamed of his biological father apparently being a wanted criminal. Pathological liar with Narcisstic and Sociopathic tendencies, e.g. unable to bear not being the center of attention. Patient has been admitted to us directly via police, after slashing his brother's fianceè's face the day before their wedding. Insists it was a 'prank gone wrong' and he did not mean any harm, yet everyone in the family could give very convincing proof that the incident happened in fact on purpose. Hasn't spoken ever since, refuses to take his medication. Re-evaluating strategy in two weeks, together with family, lawjer and judge as representant of the state."

A deep sigh escaped your mouth after finishing the last paragraph, then growing into a frustrated groan.

Well, you were searching for a challenge, have you not? This was exactly what you came for.

You were just not used to those kinds of situations, and for it to happen so early within your new carrier...but you had nothing to lose, and nothing to prove either.

Let's just give it a try, shall we?

When the door opened, Loki would not react in the slightest. He was laying on his bed, invested with a small rubber ball he was throwing and catching - his only pastime lately.

Your patient was surprisingly handsome, but you tried to not let yourself being catched off guard. Very well dressed, but no wonder considering his family was kind of royalty - at least they were wealthy, that much you knew for sure.

For the fraction of a second, his emerald eyes would assess your appearance, before darting back to the ceiling, uninterested.

"She's new" he deduced as he took in your appearance, never having seen you before. Your insecure stance gave it away as well. "Fucking stupid to send me a rookie, who the hell do they think I am?! They better not take me lighty!"

The young man mentally prepared himself for the usual. Everyone visiting his 'cell', as he tended to call it, behaved the same up until now.

Scolding him, or appeal on his humanity while simultaneously wearing a face that gave their disgust towards him away.

They were so damn fake, all of them. It made him sick.

But instead, you simply nodded at him before sitting down at the small, plain desk in a corner of the room, calmly writing something down.

After a short time, curiosity had gotten the better of him. "Wha- what are you writing about me?" How could you even report something without having even attempted to talk to him?

"Wha- hey! Don't ignore me!" he yelled, having jumped up from his bed and slammed both hands on the table, making you wince a little.

At long last, a reaction. Your first, little success.

Finally, you'd look up from your papers and put up your most friendly smile. "Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. For this weeks early shift, I'm your nurse. It's nice to meet you!"

Loki clenched his jaw, unable to deal with that genuine hospitality - the first time in what felt like forever since it last been directed at him.

No judgement, no resentment or such. Just you introducing yourself.

"Don't you have other patients that need your attention?" he waved you off, now that he had opened his mouth not being any use to keep on the silence penalty with you - and to be honest, he was a little impressed that you had tricked him into talking so easily.

"As a matter of fact, you are my only patient."

"Oh, of course!" He exclaimed almost comically proud, grabbing his chin. "Well, I assume I'm much to deal with. Special, you could say."

You cleared your throat, dismissing him just like that. Gesturing for him to sit down in front of you, you asked "Is it possible for you to at least try and listen what I have to say?"

Just like that, the man dropped to the chair, hands folded on the table. "With someone this polite, I'll give you a chance, as an exception."

Yeah, that little nurse sure was intriguing. Refreshingly kind...and naive. Maybe he could've use for that.

"Thank you. So, Mr. Odinson-"

"Just call me Loki, please" he cut you off, just to be instantly corrected by you in return. "I-I'm afraid that is not possible, to, well...to maintain a healthy distance."

However, you could only stutter that sentence when for a friction, his palm graced the back of your hand, so shallow that an innocent soul could easily mistake it for an accidental touch.

With a childlike curiosity, the man awaited your reaction - to no avail as it seemed. You were a professional, after all.

But given time, he thought...

"What I was about to say..." You cleared your throat, trying to busy yourself with the papers on the table. "It would be beneficial if you comply and accept this therapy, Mr. Laufeyson. Your psychological evaluation will have a huge impact in court."

Loki leaned back in the chair, arms crossed almost as if offended. "I know exactly what they say about me. That I'm a lost soul beyond help, and that I deserve to be locked away."

He nervously picked at his hand and you mirrored this habit. "Well, if it's any condolence...I don't see it that way."

"You've seen me for five minutes. You don't even know me! Not in the slightest. So your opinion means nothing" the man scoffed, raising his eyebrows at you.

"I am an expert in human nature, some would say" you spoke confidently, smirking a bit. "And anyway: It is never too late to change."

Loki felt his throat drying, swallowing harshly without showing any sign of weakness towards you - his enemy, he still thought at that moment.

Even though the idea of someone believing in the good in him was uplifting for the young man, satisfaction and trust were not really part of his nature after everything that had happened in his life.

Anyway, without having a real plan, he had decided for his next actions out of a whim - and grabbed the cup with medication you had brought, swallowing them all at once.

"Here." He sticked out his tongue, showing you that he didn't hide them anywhere. "I did my part, now it's your turn."

The fact that on your first day, you made that troublesome patient talk again and take his pills was making your chest swell with pride -yet his presence also made you kind of flustered. "What do you mean?"

"Let's play a game." A mischievous and gleeful grin was streched across his face, and he stared at you with an intensity that made your heart race for some reason. "I do what you think is necessary, and in return I just want some information about you. Nothing indiscret, no things that make you uncomfortable or some sort. Just some innocent details."

Was it really a good idea to trust this man? Not to speak of building some kind of personal relationship with a patient...

...but then again, he couldn't really use that against you. And if the man got the treatment he so desperately needed, you'd also get credit which would be good for your reputation as a new nurse.

A win-win situation, right?

"Go on" you sighed, still not really fond of the idea.

"Are you in a relationship right now?"

"That's already inappropriate." As punishment, you stood up and prepared to leave - but Loki stopped you. "Wait! I'm sorry, it was a little prank. I'm sorry, sorry."

You couldn't surpress a chuckle that you had turned the tables on that perceptive man, making him grid his teeth when he realized he had lost his cool for a moment. "And I'd doubt you'd know how to take proper care of a lady" you teased.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." He was quick to change the topic himself, asking "So be it, then: Why did you decide to become a nurse?"

"Umm, maybe I'm an idealist?" you pondered aloud, nipping on your bottom lip. "Never really thought about it. It just felt right. The job is challenging, rich in variety, and you can contribute something good."

Exactly what he thought - you obviously had some issues as well, as it seemed. Maybe he could use that against you, gain your trust and make his escape.

And even if it didn't work, this would be a pleasant pastime...

But as the weeks went by, Loki actually found himself enjoying those brief visits and innocent conversations, just the two of you

And he soon learned to embrace his little, impossible infatuation he was slowly developing.

At first you wouldn't bid his behavior any huge meaning, especially because your bright nature didn't allow you to sense any ill intend.

It was rather nice, actually - showering that misunderstood man with attention, and seeing how he bloomed.

He even confided to you about his side of the story, back then: According to Loki, he was only trying to cut off Thor's fiancée's hair in her sleep - but when she woke up and became startled, he accidentally cut her face with the blade.

Much to everyone's surprise, you believed him - even though that mean prank spoke more than enough about his emotional maturity.

The rules of the station allowed him more freedom if he behaved well, and soon he was allowed to roam the unit freely, always watching over you from the shadows instead of initiating contact with anyone else.

For a while, everything seemed to be going into an acceptable direction, with you gifting the man books or sheerly listening to his interest for norse mythology, as if asideof the circumstances your unusual friendship weren't the way it was.

Things became more troublesome however, when Loki decided he wanted to be needed by you as well.

When a patient hit and threatened you, you waved it off as being not that much of a deal - that man was sick and didn't mean it personally, so you didn't want to make a complain to the police.

Yet Loki thought different, a dire anger awakening in him as he saw your cheek slightly bruised - and coincidentally, that very same man got beaten up the next day. Little did you know Loki initiated a fight between that violent patient and the other ones, solely manipulating them without dirtying his own hands.

No one shall lay hands on you. He would not allow to share you with anyone.

And especially: You shouldn't treat anyone else with the same kindness as him!

"I am not allowed to accept gifts from patients" you explained politely, still flattered by the fact that he had remembered your favourite color.

He'd only shove the little box into your arms again, carefully sliding it over the table. "How about a gift from a friend, though?"

"Okay, but I'll open it when I'm at home so no one sees." You were aware of people noticing the shift in your depicture of him, being the only one to always defend him in front of the other staff at your briefings. "Anyway, I have something for you as well..."

His birthdate was no secret for you either, knowing his whole clinical record by heart already. Still, Loki gasped in surprise, shining eyes widening as he saw you presenting a small, selfmade cake to him.

"Happy Birthday, Loki" you chanted, gesturing for him to try a piece.

"How thoughtful..." he murmured under his breath, that small, genuine gesture meaning more to him than he could put in words. "Thank you."

"Does your family come to visit today as well?"

That statement made his expression immediately drop. Damn, you should've known better than to adress this topic.

"Of course not" he spoke, voice laced with disappointment. "Did you ever see them visit me, all those months? They gave up on me, I tell you..."

Probably, but you did not want to admit that to him.

It was your little secret that you had a phonecall with his brother last week - the only person he thought to always forgive him and be at his side.

"He only ever loves himself, Miss Y/L/N. I just can't defend him forever." With those words, he hung up before you could even convince him otherwise.

"What about your mother?" Oh, you were blissfully unaware of his past, only hurting him further by your plain questions.

"She's dead." For the first time, you actually saw his eyes becoming glossy, now understanding why he never spoke about her before.

"My father blames me for her death" he breathed, as barely audible as his shaky voice allowed him. "Who else could it be, right? I'm basically at causing every misfortune in people's lives."

"Loki..." You felt brave today, taking his hand into yours and sueezing it a little before reassuringly rubbing his lower arm. "You don't need to open up about that just yet. It's very hard and personal for you, I get that."

"Nono, it's alright. I'm here for therapy, right? And I trust you." What words of great honor. "There's not much to talk about anyway, really. She was the only one who believed in me, and made me feel like I belong. But her sorrow about my lifestyle was too much for her heart to bear, at least that's what my family concluded. And ever since, there was only that shadow of my father and brother's greatness, and it made me sick. Every day I felt like I was suffocating, and when I found out about my true parentage and my brother wanted to move to his future wife, I felt like everything I knew and controlled was gone. As if a hole opened up in the ground and I just fell forever."

Only now he realized how teary-eyed you had become as well, amazed by the closeness you entrusted him with in change for that secret - seeing the deepest pit of his soul.

"You are not at fault, Loki. Everyone makes mistakes, and a mother never stops loving her child." You needed to pause midsentence, choking on a sob. "She would've want you to lead a happy life, don't you think?"

"Yeah..." Absentmindedly, Loki's thumb circled on your hand, until pulling it in to place a kiss on your knuckles. "Thank you for listening. For your help...for everything! I don't know what I'd do in here without you...I'd probably actually go crazy."

That night, you'd wake up from a dream again - like you did many times, afterwards needing to ease the ache in your lends, praying his name: Loki.

Lately, those dreams repeated themselves, turned into daydreams and linging fantasies - about what his hands would feel like exploring your curves, what his tongue would taste like wrapped around your own while mercilessly fucking you against the wall of his room.

What the fuck is wrong with you?!

You stood up and tried to walk the tireness away, as if to shake those improper thoughts off as well. Seems like you had fallen asleep on the desk again, but it didn't matter since night shifts were usually quiet in here.

"Here again?" Loki softly knocked against the door of the nurse's office, greeting you with a shy look.

"Not quite" you yawned and stretched a bit, trying to not dwell in those earlier memories upon seeing that annoyingly attractive patient. "Still here, actually. Double shift, a colleague called in sick again."

Loki huffed angrily as he let himself in, knowing in night shifts there's always only one nurse so no one would disturb you. "Inacceptable!" he exclaimed, "A person like you deserves to be treated like a queen, not a servant."

The beginningly self-glorifying tendencies Loki hat coated his insecurity with had lately shifted towards you, putting you on an imaginary pedestral in his mind.

You were good and pure and could never do something wrong, or so he thought - and he was the only one able to protect you from that otherwise cruel world.

Right now, you may only have become his moral support - but if things went on like this, instead of healing, Loki would lose himself in other unhealthy habits.

So why couldn't you stop and stay away from him, at least for his own good, damn it?!

Seems like you weren't as great as he thought you to be...

"Drop that 'I can fix him' thinking!" you could still hear Dr. Meyer say, back this afternoon when he ordered you to his office. "The whole unit is talking already! That man is already doomed, any he's only toying with you! A psych ward team needs to be cooperating and stick together, and if only one person behaves different and go easier on him, the whole therapy won't work!"

Only when you stopped pondering about it, you saw how close Loki had gotten to you, his face just inches apart and raven locks falling into your face. “Please, Y/N...just lend me an ear...”

You were struggling as your back hit the wall, unable to gain distance again. Still mentally debating whether you should push the emergency-button on your unit’s phone, Loki robbed you of that decision as he softly grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I’ve seen the desire in your eyes, you sweet little thing...” he hoarsed with a raspy voice, making you shudder as you felt his breath gracing your ear. "If only we could go somewhere far, far away to relish that need.”

“I-I won’t let you out of here. Do you honestly think I’m so gullible?!” 

“No. Nononono, little petal. I would never use you for that.” Your patient’s demeanour was no less inviting, his knuckles brushing your cheekbones while he was looking at you as if you were a piece of art. "But I want you to give us a chance - nothing more, nothing less.”

You bit your lip, unable to fight against something you wished for so deeply. A thousand thoughts ran through your head, about how wrong every detail of that moment was - but also the most wildest fantasies of lust and love and adventure. There had always been something attracting to the forbidden, after all...

“I can change. For you. Be discharged someday. Build a life with you. No one has to know about us until then. Y/N...”

“Loki...” Your voice was nothing but a whisper as he needily pulled you into his arms, fingernails digging into the flesh of your hip to lift you onto the cupboard. You felt his erection eager to escape his trousers, pressing itself against your crotch to ease this pressure.

He seemed desperate as he explored your body, unfocused even as he overwhelmed himself in that intoxicating high of your closeness...

...but just before the final gap between your lips closed, he was gone.

“You piece of shit. Even harassing our nurses, huh?!?”

You blinked heavily, mind still clouded by lust before you could comprehend what just happened. Loki on the other hand was lying on the floor, being pressed down by two security guards as Dr. Meyer prepared a srynge with sedatives

“Wai-!” Just when you were about to interfere, Loki furiously shook his head. His eyes told you everything you needed to know about his intentions, signalizing you to stay silent - otherwise you’d be doomed with him.

No one shall notice your little workplace romance, so he’d sacrifice himself to preserve your honor and prevent you from being punished.

After injecting the medication to his bloodstream, they still did not keep themselves from savouring in his pain and violently fixate him, straping every single of his limbs to the bed.

“Tha- I think that’s enough. He’s asleep” you suggested with a shaky voice, as Dr. Meyer grabbed both of your shoulders. “Are you alright? Did that bastard hurt you?”

“N-No...I guess he just misunderstood my kindness.”

“People like that are no humans” the doctor growled, watching as the security guards dragged him away. “They are wild animals. He will never be able to lead a normal life, being as dangerous to others as he is!”

The thought of Loki possibly being robbed of a normal future just to be locked up forever brought tears into your eyes. Luckily, your colleagues thought that reaction to be because of the shock, however it revoked Dr. Meyer to embrace you tightly and completely uncalled for, babbling some fake sweet words about you being safe now. Oh, how you wished to escape his fangs...

For several days, there was nothing. You had been forcibly conivinced to take a few days off while Loki was still rotting in his room, which made it impossible for you to relax.

Your almost-lover on the other side was patiently waiting for you, always sure of your return - however his wish to see light in these darkest of times would be possibly ruined forever.

Loki knew the order of this unit very well, knowing exactly when someone would come to give him food, meds or check up on him. So when there was an unregulary knock on his door, hope bloomed in his chest to finally see you again.

“Well, well...” Dr. Meyer was trying his outmost to appear professional, yet he couldn’t surpress his gloating over the man who got fixated by his wrists just minutes before the medical round. “Good evening, Mr. Odinson...or should I rather say ‘Laufeyson’?”

No reaction. Instead Loki calmly smiled and let all the hatred and negativity bounce back off himself instead to letting it into his core ever again.

As long as his thoughts revolved around you, he’d be fine. You believed in him, and never would he want to disappoint you again.

“Do you know why I have been called here?” The doctors demeanour was obvious, and Loki was almost certain that he specifically insisted to be responsible for his ‘favourite’ patient. “Your evaluation is almost due. You know, the one that decides about your future at this facility and especially our society?”

“If you have to say something, just say it.” Even though acting cool, Loki’s heart was dropping to his stomach, anxiety getting the better of him - and sadly, it wasn’t unnotice by the doc.

“After all those crimes you’ve commited, we’ve been thinking you’d be better of in a forensic clinic.” Meyer sat down on the edge of the bed, hiding his grin under a face mask as he enjoyed the trembling man straped to the mattress.

“B-But what about-”

“Don’t worry about that” the doctor cut him off, “Y/N doesn’t want to be admitted to you anymore, either way."

“Lies.” Still, Loki teared up faster than his mind could catch up on those words who broke his heart in an instant. “I-I know deceit better than everyone. You’re lying!”

The doctor was almost imploding out of glee, but being the sociopathic actor that he was, he reassuringly put a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for you, but it’s better for everyone involved. She’s afraid of you, called you a freak even. I don’t know what sick shit you did to her exactly, but we’ll do anything to keep you from doing it again.”

“Shut up!” Security was storming the door as Loki began to have a violent outburst, bed shaking and the skin on his wrists becoming sore as he tried to free himself from the shackles. “Don’t fucking touch me! Where is she?!? I want to speak to her, let me.......”

“No need for that, gentlemen.” Dr. Meyer had already put his patient to sleep before the security would mangle him - after all, he didn’t want to leave proof of any mistreatment on his station. “That man’s not worth it anyway.”

Loki’s sleep was long and dreamless, yet the first thing that had popped up in his mind as he regained consciousness was you - and there you were, looking at him all concerned as you pet his head.

He blinked heavily, unsure whether you were a hallucination. But it was really you. “Y/N...”

Suddenly, he remembered the doctor’s words, turning around to face the wall as soon as you freed him from the restrainments. “What’s wrong, Loki? What have they done to you?!”

Every syllable that escaped your mouth was laced with emotion, confusing and hurting his shattered soul even more. “What are you doing here?” he hissed coldly, trying to not be affected by you anymore.

That would’ve been the last time he ever let someone close to his core again...

“My colleagues didn’t want me to nurse you, out of worry! It was extremely hard to convince them that I’d at least bring you dinner, since they did not want to ignore Dr. Meyer’s order, but well...here I am.”

You rubbed the back of your head, sheepishly looking over to the plate you had put on his nightstand. “I brought your favourite.”

“Go away” he whispered hoarse, still only offering you his back. “And never come back...”

“Wha- but I...” You wanted to approach him, but Loki slapped your hand away. He wanted to scream, but was smart enough to not attract your colleague’s attention. “I trusted you, Y/N! Out of all the people I expected to betray me, it had to be the only one I allowed to come close?!?”

There he was, the man everyone considered a failure, a brutal psychopath and a monster - shivering at the thought of being all alone once again.

No mockery, no acting all high and mighty to cover up his true feeling or protect his pride.

Just pain.

“You, back then...” he declared, finally meeting your face with an icy glare. “That was the first time someone ever voluntarily stood up for me.”

“I bet it happened before,” was your firm answer, gulping heavily at the sight of this empty shell that had almost become your lover. “I am sure of it. Sometimes we are just too hurt to remember the good things.”

“Were you really that disgusted by my advances, this whole time?”

That question caught you off guard. Of course the circumstances had always been present in the back of your mind - but how could he ever assume that you did not felt drawn to him as well?!

“N-No!” you exclaimed almost immediately, and Loki backed off due to the surprise of the determination in your voice. “If I didn’t want to, I would’ve told you! Why would you think of me that way?”

The image of your almost-kiss, how his hands felt as they were eagerly exporing your skin...it was still pleasantly vivid in your mind...

...but something else had stained those blissful memories for the both of you.

“I am so sorry, Loki...” As you began to sob uncontrollably, the dam broke and Loki couldn’t hold back anymore. “This is all my fault! You’re my patient, and I took advantage of you...I am honestly the worst.”

“Shh...” Even though still mad, in the dephts of his heart Loki couldn’t stay mad at you for too long. Seeing you sad was just too much for him to bear. “Everything will be alright. I know it.” 

 And just like that, Loki was lost in thoughts of a happier future again...yes, even if he was transferred, it would be better if you weren’t involved at work. You could visit him, and he’d try to better himself - for he now finally had something to look forward to: Y/N Y/L/N.

However, when Loki reached out to hug you, a reflex made you flinch away. For a sheer second, he furrowed his brows in confusion - but then he saw the blue marks on your arms. “W-Where did you get that from?!”

Your lack of a response infuriated him even further, even though he already knew the answer. Never before you heared a voice this cold, and it honestly made you afraid of the consequences. “Y/N. Tell. Me.”

“Dr....Dr. Meyer...when you were dragged away that night, we were all alone....he wanted to speak to me in his office about the incident, at least I thought, and then.............”

Loki’s face dropped lower and lower with every detail you spit out about how that dirty bastard tried to take advantage of the situation back then, trying to grope an already shocked woman and thus traumatizing her for life.

How he roughly tried to hold you in place, bruising that fragile and most holy body to the point where instead of passively avoiding the situation, you were desperately trying to get away.

"He threatened me” you sniffled, every sob shaking through your whole body while Loki never stopped embracing you so tightly that he hoped all of your broken parts would be put together this way. “Told me he would tell everyone about our affair when I don’t comply. I don’t care about the trouble I get into, but you...I cannot close all the doors that are still open for you.”

A million thoughts were racing through Loki’s head at once: About how someone could be as selfless and prure as you were, and wondering about what his life would have been like if he had only known you earlier. That he now knew about your true affection and loyality, and being unable to repay it.

Yet nothing could still the rage that was currently preying on his mind at the thought of some other man violating you, while he had been thinking about nothing but himself this whole time - even daring to question you for one second.

“Please don’t worry, my dear.” The shift in his behavior frightened you, yet you were too overchallenged with those past weeks that you had become too careless.

Loki pressed a wet kiss into your hair, savouring this moment just a while longer - until you were to meet again. “I will take care of everything. But you must go now, before your colleagues notice. Go.”

If only you had noticed earlier, taken the hints serious...

The remaining day felt like forever, your thoughts always wandering off to either your longing for Loki or the discomfort whenever you heared Dr. Meyer’s name. It wouldn’t take long until your colleagues sent you home, suggesting that you’d get whatever it was you had going on in proper line - because like this, you weren’t able to work let alone provide for anyone. Not even yourself.

With an exhausted mind and body, it was only a matter of seconds until you slept away right on spot, on the sofa you immediately plummeted on when you got home.

Only an hour later, your rumbling stomach would wake you up, since all of the stress had kept you from nourishing yourself properly. “Loki would want me to take care of myself...” you thought to yourself, worrying how the others at the unit would treat him when you were gone...

...but then, your attention got caught at the TV, having run in the back during your whole nap. The image on screen was one of your hospital, depicturing several police cars in front of the main entrance - and a corpse, covered and transported away.

“And now to our local news” the newscaster spoke and you wondered how someone could speak so monotonously about something apparently horrible.

“The renowned psychiatrist Dr. A. Meyer has been found dead in his office. Police report states that the culprit wanted to make it seem like an accident or suicide, yet the non-lethal wounds on the victims body reminded of a sadistic slaughter. One patient remains fugitive, whatever happened exactly or how their relationship with each other was remains unspoken by the hospital CEO.”

It was over. Everything. And you knew what that meant:

Loki had taken care of it - just as promised.

There was no time to think, act or even cry. Iwnstant regret washed over you before a feeling of complete numbness erased the will to fight left in you.

For you had created this monster, or at least taken part in it.

And when you felt a familiar hand running down your back, you would only close your eyes and accept your guilt - and your fate.

"Welcome home, my love."

Disclaimer: As a nurse, I feel responsible to emphasize that this Story and all of their elements are purely fictional. Every dark theme has been added solely for the drama and has no connection to real life. Please don't let my work make you stigmatize people with mental illness, and neither become uncertain of seeking professional help shall you ever require it.

[stansethandpaul]

Jealousy Jealousy (rewrite)

Angst -> Fluff: Embry Call x GN!reader

Summary: Embry gives y/n a slap in the face about reality after they constantly sulk about Bella.

A/N: I'm much more content with this one and I actually might end up deleting the other one, sorry about that. I actually took a lot more time editing this and didn't write this when I was burnt out compared to the other one! I'm just overall way happier with the other one because I knew that the other one wasn't my true capability.

warnings: angst (that's all I could really think of tell me if you see anything else!)

Masterlist

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Constant notifications vibrated Jacob's phone as we sat on his couch together watching the movie on the screen. I shot him a look of annoyance, signaling him to check his phone which he did swiftly. His eyes shot open in surprise before he shot up from the couch and throwing on a shirt and shoes, hopping out the door as he attempted to put the last shoe on.

"Sorry y/n! Bella just told me she was free, you know what it's been like for her!" He hastily shouted out before sprinting down the gravel driveway.

"Bye!" I shouted back, trying to hide my disappointment.

I grimaced at the situation. On one hand, I knew how the sudden disappearance of the Cullens devastated her, especially Edward's sudden abandonment but this happened way too many times. But on the other, Jacob was like her puppy dog now, it was like I wasn't even his friend anymore, it was like our friendship meant nothing.

Knowing that Jacob wouldn't be back anytime soon, I got my stuff and locked the door behind me before driving over to Emily's place to surround myself in the livelier company.

"Sup y/n! Missed me didn't ya!" Jared boomed as I opened the door to which I replied with a "you wish". I chuckled at his dramatic pain as he pretended to hold his heart, eyes shut and face contorting.

"Know where Embry is?" Questioning the dramatic boy as I peered around the room to see if I could find any trace of the lanky boy, no luck.

"Finding your loverboy huh? With the deepest of regrets, I must inform you that he was put on patrol today." He said, mocking my curiosity over Embry's whereabouts. I stuck my tongue out at him to tease him before flipping him off and leaving to the porch to await Embry.

"Knock it off Paul, it's not what you think"

"yeah sure, and if it wasn't what I HEARD THROUGH THE MINDLINK then I don't know what else it could have been"

Their voices permeated through the thick fog as their silhouettes came into view, Paul's muscly tall physique was seen locking an arm around Embry's tall lanky but lean body.

"Aw buzz off Paul," Embry said as he struggled to get Paul's arm off of his neck. He laughed at his struggle before letting go as he noticed me, shooting Embry a smirk to which a slight blush came onto his face, only noticeable as they got closer. Odd.

"Sup Paul," I smirked at him before turning my attention over to Embry.

"And hello to you too wolf boy," teasing him to which he shot a glare at me before attempting to stifle his laughs.

Paul said a prompt bye before jogging into the house to fill up his appetite whilst Embry sat down next to me, his body warmth radiating. The cold air nipped at my skin, pushing me to get closer to the much warmer boy as I swung my legs into his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Jacob left again?"

A sigh left my mouth at his obvious question.

Closing my eyes promptly, I answered with a short nod. A response that showed my true feelings after all these times of being blown off by Jacob.

We sat in silence, my eyes closed as I felt his shoulders move up and down in a rhythmic motion, lulling me to sleep almost. The deafening quiet seemed to almost suffocate us before I decided to talk.

"I don't know what to do anymore Embry, I'm always there for him when he needs me but, he runs to her at the drop of a hat or more like a single text message," I grumbled, reminiscing about the times Jacob's left me in the dust for Bella, excuses sprouting up.

"Why does everyone in this town seem to be so infatuated with her," expecting no response I kept going.

"Is it because she's Charlie's daughter? Hell if I was his child Jacob would be all over me too right? I'd be the hot topic of town too, people staring at me wherever I go, being suddenly accepted by the Cullen family and Jacob. I'd really have the best of both worlds wouldn't I?" Scowling at my own questions, I turned to Embry for answers.

"Am I not right?"

Silence.

"Helloooooooo, Earth to Embry?" I said, poking his cheeks with my finger. His brows seemed to be furrowed together, eyes lost in thought, his attention elsewhere.

There seemed to be no response from him to which I huffed and turned back to stare at the fog rolling in.

Closing my eyes to embrace the serenity once more, his lulling voice startled me.

“I don’t think it’s true.”

I turned my head towards him, curiosity piqued by his response.

“Let’s be real Embry, I’d have the best time of my life if I was Bella fucking Swan. Every guy would love me, all the attention would be on me and I wouldn’t be a second option again. Hell, I’d even be able to actually confess to my crush without fearing rejection.” Bitterness laced the last sentence as I satirically spoke my mind. Looking at Embry’s hands and wishing they were embracing mine, the sudden gesture of his fist clenching as his knuckles turned white shocked me, he was mad.

“God y/n, why the hell do you always need to compare yourself to Bella? She hasn’t even done anything to you. It’s always Bella this Bella that if I was her blah blah blah. Get over yourself, you’re not her and you won’t ever be. Learn how to appreciate yourself and live YOUR life and stop moping around. So what Jacob runs to Bella each time, you have Jared, Emily, Paul, and everyone else.”

A long silence suspended in the air.

“You have me and you come running, you never see the other people around you cause you’re too busy complaining. You can’t even see how much I love you cause you’re so stuck up about being Bella and being Jacob’s priority aren’t you?” Finishing his sentence, he proceeded to get up before walking away. Stopping before reaching the woods, his back faced to me, he spoke simply.

“Find me when you can learn to be y/n and not Bella.”

His form morphed before running into the woods on all fours, leaving me stunned. After a brief moment, tears flooded my eyes. I never got to tell him that I do like him, I never got to tell him that I just want his attention, I just wanted him.

Thoughts spiraled in my head, I was jealous of Bella for sure but I was jealous because of the attention she was given. I just wanted Embry to treat me like she was treated, I wanted to be special to him.

I ran home, I ran because I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't be able to look at him properly.

Weeks passed as we ceased to talk, and I ceased to exist in the small town of Forks. Or so I thought.

I groaned as heavy knocks assaulted my front door, I picked up the phone looking at the time. Who the hell shows up at someone's house at 4am?

Throwing on a sweater and sweats, I dragged myself to the front door, the cold hardwood floor seemingly repelling me from ever making any progress. I swung the door open, grumbling as my eyes were half open wondering who it was.

Jacob Black.

Mentally sighing, I invited him inside from the pouring rain, he seemed devastated.

He sat down after he changed as I made him some hot chocolate to comfort him.

"She chose him y/n, he came back and she chose him over me. She drove to Italy for that stupid bloodsucker." His cracking voice was more than enough for me to grasp his frustration and devastation.

"I dropped everything for her, I did everything for her y/n. And she still chose the guy that skipped town huh?" Laughing bitterly at the situation, I stared at his cup before handing it to him.

"Maybe if I was better than Edward I would've won this stupid fucking battle," his words escaping his clenched teeth. He was like me, we were jealous of someone, someone that seemed to win everything, someone that we were not. The words spoken to me by Embry were words I carried with me even as I was moping over the whole situation.

"Stop comparing yourself to him, Jacob. You're not Edward and you won't ever be him. You're so insistent on being better than Edward or being Edward that you can't even see what's in front of you. I was always here for you Jake, I was always here but you treated me like I was a second option. You left me in a heartbeat for her but you never had time to spend with me, not even five minutes, when you were with her," I too chuckled bitterly at the ironic situation, me and Jacob were similar in many ways.

"Learn to live your life, don't live it for her or because of her, learn how to live it like you want." Those words seemed to resonate deep within both of us. After finally speaking those words, I realized that I was ready to live my life as y/n, a citizen of the small city of Forks, and not vying to be Bella, the new girl to forks.

I stood up, putting on shoes hastily before grabbing the handle. I could sense Jacob's attempt to stop me and apologize for his treatment but I knew better.

"It's ok, I know you're gonna apologize. I'm not going to accept, I want the Jake that will care and treat everyone with the same importance that you had for Bella. Come to me when you're ready, but until then I hope you grow and learn how to live your life."

I paused again, one foot out of the door.

"I have someone important to apologize to, someone that didn't leave me in the blink of an eye."

I hurriedly shut the door behind me before running to the woods, my lungs burning and legs aching as I forced myself to my limit. I ran and ran, visions of the houses slowly turned to trees, the crunching leaves under my feet reminded me of the days we would all run through the woods.

My breathing became labored as I was reaching my breaking point but it was close, our place was close. Then, in my distant vision, I could see it. That one pine tree, seemingly normal to many, but to me, it held our memories. The initials only reassured my assumption as I knew that he would be here waiting. As I got closer to the tree, my legs gave out under me, sending me tumbling to the ground whilst tree branches scratched my arms and ripped a hole in my pants.

"EMBRY! EMBRY I'M HERE PLEASE!" I shouted into the dark forest, eyes tearing up once more as I pleaded.

"I LOVE YOU EMBRY CALL AND I'M SORRY I WAS TOO BLIND TO REALIZE IT!" I shouted once more before crumpling closer to the ground, my tears now fully flowing and hitting the dead leaves below.

Maybe I took too long, maybe he moved on, maybe I was too jealous of someone to even realize his love.

As sobs continued throughout my body, the hope of him ever coming was diminishing.

I was too late.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong but warm arms wrap around my waist and pulling me up.

"Shhh, it's ok I'm here now."

That voice, I looked up to see Embry's face which held a dorky grin. I threw my arms around him as sobs still left my body, the emotional rollercoaster was far too much for me to handle.

"I-i'm s-s-so sorry Embry, I was too focused on trying to be Bella that I-"

"I know, I know, I heard it all," shushing me as he rubbed circles on my back consoling me. After what felt like hours in his embrace, I finally calmed down and only tear stains remained.

I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes properly this time, he stared back with tender eyes.

"You finally learned how to live for you huh?" He asked, not expecting an answer to which I was oblivious.

Before I could respond, he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't try and fight it and melted into it instead.

I was blind to be jealous of Bella when I already had something that she fought to keep.

Smiling mentally, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

Taglist: @krispypotato @therandomficwriter @crackheadenergy101 @cole22ann @uraveragegorewhore @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx @theonlyabby02 @lendeluxe @sassybadqueen @myflicker @junitorials13 @leahishotclearwater @pillowjj @mangobubblet3a @fuzzy-panda @beautiful-1nsanity @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @gutflorizt @sassybadqueen @britty443 @tsukkiswifeey @uraveragegorewhore @blackqueens01 @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @alwayshave-faith @nichia88-blog

[spencestyles]

I’d do anything

summary: spencer is in love with y/n and y/n is in an abusice relationship. will spencer be able to save y/n? love her when she needs him most?

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

warnings: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP DO NOT READ IF NOT COMFORTABLE READING THIS CONTENT, normal case violence

words: 4k+

please do not read if you are uncomfortable with the content of it abuse is a trigger. be mindful of this.

enjoy!!

SPENCER'S POV

"Guys this is my boyfriend, Owen," y/n said to the team on a night out.

For the longest time she and I have been best friends, nothing more. I have been in love with her for a while now, but I have always been too afraid to tell her. Now that she had a boyfriend, I knew I had lost my chances.

"Oh my gosh!" Penelope yelled. "It is so nice to finally meet you! y/n has told us so much about you!"

Owen smiled and gave y/n a side hug, "Hopefully all good things."

"Yes," JJ quickly said. "She makes you seem amazing. Hopefully you can live up to the expectations."

"Hopefully I do not disappoint," Owen replied.

The night continued with the team asking Owen questions. I had met Owen before and he truly was a nice guy. That was the worst part. However as the night continued, y/n acted strange and almost seemed afraid of Owen. She was acting timid, something she has never done, not even in front of an unsub.

Owen went to get y/n a drink so I decided it would be the perfect time to ask y/n, "Are you okay? You've been acting strange, is Owen hurting you?"

"What?" y/n laughed. "Spencer are you okay? Of course not. Owen and I are perfectly fine."

I sighed, "Okay, just checking. Are we still on for Dr Who tomorrow night?"

"When have I ever not showed up for Dr Who?" y/n retorted. "I will obviously come. Nothing can ever come between us and Dr Who."

Owen suddenly came up behind y/n, "Wait, you're hanging with Spencer tomorrow?" Owen asked aggressively. "I thought we were going to do something?"

y/n laughed, "I told you I can't ever hang on certain Fridays because I watch Dr Who with Spencer. I also never agreed to doing something together, I would have never forgotten a Dr Who watch party."

Owen glared at me. Obviously he was angry I was hanging out with y/n.

"I think it's time for us to leave," Owen said, grabbing y/n's arm very hard. "Say goodbye to your friends." Owen walked over to the table with y/n and put on a fake smile. As they walked out the door, I noticed y/n look back at me, tears in her eyes. Something was wrong.

The whole team was sitting at the table talking about something random when I decided to speak up, "How did you guys like Owen?"

A mix of complements were thrown by the girls, but the guys, they didn't seem too impressed. JJ, Emily, and Penelope, all went to get drinks while Rossi, Hotch, Derek, and I stayed at the table.

"What did you guys think of him?" I asked.

"I hated him," Derek said simply. "I saw the way y/n acted around him, much profilers the girls are. She's acting just like someone who has been manipulated and abused."

Hotch nodded, "I agree with Derek. I know we aren't supposed to profile team members, but the girls obviously don't see anything wrong."

"Are you guys sure?" Rossi asked. "I mean he seems very nice and maybe you all just think he is not good because you all wish y/n and Spencer were together."

The guys looked at me as I began to blush profusely, "I don't want to be with y/n that much anymore." They looked at me in disagreement. "Guys I'm serious, she has a boyfriend."

"Yeah and you don't like her," Rossi argued. "Just admit that you still have a crush on her and then if something really happens I will believe you."

"Fine," I sighed. "I still like y/n."

YOUR POV

"What the hell y/n," Owen screamed at you. "What the fuck is Dr Who night? You know I don't like him."

You choked a sob, "Owen it isn't like that. I don't like him, he's my best friend. Please don't hurt me."

"He obviously has something for you and you have something for him," He yelled.

"I d-don't lik-ke him Owen," I whispered. "I promise."

This had become your normal routine. Spencer or some other male would say something and Owen would go crazy. Especially about Spencer. Owen would yell at you and sometimes things would escalate. That unfortunately is how it went tonight.

It started with a push, then a slap. Sometimes it progressed more, but that was rare.

"We are going somewhere," Owen said.

You were being dragged out of the house, "Owen, what?"

"Well since you can't be obedient, I'm going to have to teach you somehow y/n."

And like that you were knocked out unconscious.

SPENCER'S POV

I walked into work carrying a coffee for both y/n and I. I decided to get her a coffee to apologize for last night's irrational decisions. I had come to the conclusion that Owen wasn't actually abusive, I was just jealous.

Derek and Hotch though, not so much.

"Baby girl, that guy is a grade A asshole," Derek said to Garcia. "Can you please just do one background check?"

Penelope sighed, "I can't do that Derek, I promised y/n I wouldn't look into him."

I decided to ignore the conversation and wait for y/n to come in for work. After about thirty minutes of waiting I decided to ask Hotch.

"Hey, is y/n coming in today?" I asked.

"Um, no," he said, pulling out his phone. "I got this strange text though, can you look through it."

"Yeah let me see," I said, walking over to where he set his phone down.

"Agent Hotchner, I will not be able to come into work tomorrow for the case. I have an issue with my tonsils. I am sorry." I recited. "I don't think y/n typed this, maybe we should send someone to her house and to Owen's house."

Hotch groaned, "I'll send Derek and JJ, I am hoping our next case doesn't become y/n. Please continue to look over the text and I'll have Garcia look into Owen."

I nodded and put the text onto the white board so I would be able to write on it.

"Hotch, look at this," I said, Hotch walking over to me. "First, y/n hasn't called you agent Hotchner since her first day here, she usually calls you Hotch or Aaron. Also, y/n got her tonsils removed when she was 7."

"Garcia, have you looked into Owen at all," Hotch asked.

"Yeah a little, but it's all normal," Garcia answered.

Hotch glared at her, "Not enough, do a full deep dive. I don't care what y/n told you not to do, he is hiding something and so is she."

Garcia nodded and went straight to work as Hotch's phone began to ring.

"Morgan, you're on speaker."

"Okay so y/n's apartment was spotless," Morgan said. "But it was also locked, so I don't think she went home to her apartment last night."

JJ began to add on, "Owen's apartment on the other hand, was a mess. Like it looked like there was a robbery of some form. Also, y/n's purse was there."

"Garcia what do you have on Owen?" Hotch asked.

"Owen Winters, he is 42 and from Southern California," Garcia began. "As a child CPS was contacted many times and it looks like his dad killed himself when he was 8. It looks like he has an extensive amount of charges for abuse and harassment, all from his ex-girlfriends."

"Do any of them live near?" I asked.

"Yes, boy wonder, 25 year-old Vanessa Montgomery works in a coffee shop near the white house," Penelope explained.

"What is the coffee shop?" I questioned.

"The Starbucks over on Pennsylvania Ave. near the White House," she answered. "Why?"

"I know her, she is the barista that always gets our order perfect," I replied.

"Morgan and JJ pick her up on your way back," Hotch ordered. "Owen Winters is our new unsub and y/n y/l/n is our newest victim."

I sighed as I began to prepare the questions for Vanessa. I looked over at y/n's desk and decided to start looking through it for any details.

As I walked over to the desk, I looked at the coffee on y/n's desk. I wanted to apologize for something that I was right about. Why didn't she tell me? was the only thing going through my head.

At her desk I noticed some things that I guess I hadn't seen before. On her desk she has four framed pictures. One of her, Hotch and Rossi. Another that was her and the girls. One that was of her, Derek and me, from one of the first cases we had together . The last one however, was the one I had never seen. It was a picture of y/n and me from when she took me to Colorado to ski and hike.

I smiled at the memory,

"Spencer, be careful," y/n yelled as I walked closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

I laughed, "y/n I'll be fine! Come here, let's take a picture."

"Fine! Spencer I swear if I fall, you are coming down with me."

"For you, y/n, I'd do anything."

I then began to look deeper in her desk. I felt like I was violating y/n's personal space, but this needed to be done. As I looked through her drawers, I wasn't able to find anything that could help. Until I looked in the last drawer.

In this drawer, I found papers for a restraining order that had been filed and denied. y/n was trying to get away from Owen.

"Guys, I found something," I said yelling into the conference room. The team looked at me to continue, "y/n filed a restraining order on Owen but it was denied. The date was two months ago. I was thinking back and y/n has been acting a little strange for the past five months. Owen has to have her."

"Reid, we already established Owen has her, but this ensures that he was abusive," Hotch said.

Emily sighed, "The timeline makes sense. She has been hanging out with us less and she has worn more turtlenecks in the past five months than I have seen anyone ever wear."

"Yeah," Penelope said. "y/n has ditched us for girls night for the past few months. She also got mad at me at team dinner last night when I asked why she wasn't wearing something more revealing."

"Her smiles have been fake," I added. "She smiles at us all the time to brighten our days, but they haven't been as nice, welcoming."

"Well, Reid, it looks like you were correct," Rossi said.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked.

Derek laughed, "Last night when you three went off to get drinks, Reid told us he thought Owen was acting violent with y/n and thought she was acting strange. Hotch and I immediately agreed, but Rossi didn't seem convinced. Rossi thought Reid was just jealous because he has a crush on y/n and he doesn't realize she likes him."

"Derek, not the time," I said sternly.

Emily laughed, "I can't believe you of all people couldn't see it Spencer. y/n is hopelessly in love with you and now she is dating a scumbag because she doesn't think you like her."

I sighed as I began to look over where y/n could be located, thinking about the idea of dating y/n wouldn't help us find her. We had made little progression on this, but we knew it had to be somewhere with significance to either one of them or both of them.

I decided to ask Garcia, "Garcia, have you made any progress on where y/n could be?"

"Yes 187, it looks like Owen owns a small cabin around half an hour from here," Garcia said.

"Okay let's go now," Hotch told us.

Garcia gasped, "Wait there is a live feed. I'm putting it up on the screen."

The video was horrific. y/n was tied to a chair looking almost dead. She had blood falling from above her head and looked like she had been through hell.

"Hello BAU," Owen said to the camera. "I have your dear y/n, but you wont be able to get her. y/n will never be out of my sight ever again. I will not have Dr. Spencer Reid ruin our relationship."

"It's not your fault Spence," y/n said to the camera. My heart clenched. She was in pain and I couldn't be there to help her.

"He is the one in the way of our relationship y/n," Owen yelled. "Of course it is his fault."

"Spencer isn't the issue with our relationship Owen," y/n yelled back. "You are."

Hotch started to grab his things, "She shouldn't have said that, we need to leave now. She is already in danger."

We all ran to the SUVs. I went in a car with Derek and Hotch. Derek drove and broke every traffic law imaginable, making the thirty minute car ride less than twenty. The three of us grabbed out vests and began to run to the cabin.

Suddenly, Hotch stopped me, "Spencer it isn't safe for you to be there."

"Hotch I have to go," I protested.

"Spencer, you are the reason she is there," Hotch said. "It may be Owen's fucked up mind, but you are the trigger that made him angry. y/n loves you more than him and he noticed and now we're here. Stay outside." I decided to not fight and stay outside to wait for the other team members. The other SUV pulled up quickly after us.

"Jesus Christ, that was the fastest I've ever driven," Emily complained. "Spencer what are you doing out here?"

"Morgan and Hotch already moved in, Hotch doesn't want me inside," I explained.

"I'll stay out here with you Kid," Rossi said. I nodded in thanks as I watched Emily and JJ run to the cabin. I stood staring at the cabin. Time had become slow motion. It felt like an eternity watching the movement inside.

I heard Derek yell from the cabin, "MEDIC! WE NEED A MEDIC!" I immediately ran into the cabin. I looked over and saw y/n in Derek's arms, barely breathing. I heard Owen yelling at me, but couldn't focus on anything besides y/n.

"y/n," I said, moving to where I was holding her head. "y/n, I need you to listen to me. I love you, I always have and I am so sorry I never told you."

"Sir, we need you to move," the medic said, trying to move y/n onto the stretcher. I began to move when I felt someone grab my hand. I looked down and noticed it was y/n. She gave my hand three squeezes. I Love You.

With y/n on her way to the hospital and Owen getting taken back to Quantico, Derek, JJ, and I all went to the hospital to keep tabs on y/n while the others closed the case.

I sat in my chair nervous out of my mind. Derek sat next to me trying to calm me down and JJ was across from me.

"Spencer, you need to calm down," Derek told me.

"I can't calm down Derek, y/n could die," I said frantically.

JJ began to laugh, "Did you know the other day y/n told Emily, Penelope, and I, that she wanted kids? Can you imagine that? y/n with kids?"

A tear trickled down my face, "She always told me she wanted two kids, one boy and one girl. y/n would be a great mother."

Derek laughed, "The thing that would make y/n such a great mother if her kids were also yours Pretty Boy. I have known since the beginning you two would have pretty kids." I laughed, but also glared at him.

"y/n y/l/n?" The doctor called. The three of us stood up and the doctor began to walk towards us, "y/n is out of surgery. It was touch and go for a while, but she is stable. There were many noticeable signs of abuse that were old, she has a broken harm and three broken fingers, all of which are old."

I let out a shaky breath, "When can I- we see her?"

"I can only let one person in at a time and I doubt she is awake," the doctor explained. JJ and Derek looked at me, signaling me to go to y/n's room. I followed the doctor to her room.

"It might be a little much to see, she may not look like herself. She is very, very fragile and has wires attached to her," the doctor said before opening the door for me. Walking into the room, the environment was tense. y/n was laying in the hospital bed with wires attached to her and much of her body was wrapped up from the surgery and from her injuries.

I went over and sat next to her bed, grabbing onto her hand, "y/n, you can't hear me but I am here. It's Spencer. I am so glad you are okay, but why didn't you tell me about Owen? I could have done something. WE could have done something. I am just so glad you are safe."

For the rest of the time, I sat there watching her sleep. Not in a creepy way, but to make sure she was safe. I was so pissed at myself for not realizing what Owen was doing earlier. I should have been able to see the warning signs. Some of them were subtle, when she wouldn't hang out with the team or was constantly checking her phone. But some of them should have been immediate red flags, the flinching in front of the unsub or how she always wore clothes to cover herself. I should have known. The team should have known.

I felt y/n's hand move and saw her shift, "Spencer?" she asked.

"y/n," I said breathlessly. "I am right here, but I need to go get a nurse. You are at the hospital, Owen hurt you."

I started standing up to leave, "Spence, no. Don't leave me."

I sighed, looking at her disheveled features, "y/n, I will be right back. You need to see a nurse."

Walking out of the room was painful, hearing her sobs in fear of being hurt again. It pained me to know I was leaving her when she needed me, again.

I walked over to her nurse, "Um y/n y/l/n has woken up, I thought you should know." The nurse said her thanks and walked with me to y/n's room. As we walked in, the sound of y/n's labored breaths became more noticeable.

"Miss y/l/n, we need you to calm down," the nurse said, running to y/n's bedside.

Immediately, I walked over to y/n and held her hand. "Sir, you need to exit the room," the nurse said, ushering me away from y/n. At that moment I didn't know what was worse, hearing y/n's cries or feeling so helpless in the situation.

Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me, "Reid, you need to leave, it's not good for you here."

Derek.

"Derek, I-I-I can't just leave," I stuttered. "I need to be there to help, she's all alone."

"Kid, you need to shower," Derek said.

"No, Derek you don't understand," I said angrily. "I can't just leave her here again. I didn't notice when she was hurt and I need to show that I care."

Derek sighed, "Reid, she knows. She's not going to hate you. No one knew that she was going through that. It's not your fault."

I was about to say something when I say y/n being moved out of her room by doctors, "What is going on?" I asked.

"Miss y/l/n is getting taken back into surgery," the doctor said. "We don't know what happened." I began to hyperventilate. I was freaking out. y/n wasn't alright. She was going to die.

As I began to sob, Derek pulled me into a hug, "She is going to be alright man. You'll get to see her again and talk to her and finally ask her on a date. Does that sound good?"

I unconvincingly nodded my head.

"No, Spencer, don't do that," he said. "Don't doubt the doctors and think about the statistics, y/n is not a statistic."

I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"There you go," Derek smirked. "Now, go take a shower at your house so y/n wont shy away at your scent. Also, maybe get her some flowers. She likes-"

"Pink roses," I interrupted, laughing. "Pink roses are the most difficult flowers to find."

Derek laughed, "At least try to find them."

"For her," I began. "I'd do anything."

After that, I ran to the SUV to head to Quantico and get my car. The car ride felt like forever and I wasn't excited for the possibility of seeing Owen. Thankfully, I didn't see Owen between the time of dropping off the SUV and going to the parking lot to get my car. The car ride to my apartment was short, thank God. I decided to take a quick shower, just wanting to freshen up. I got dressed in my home clothes, which were in fact different from my work clothes, contrary to the belief of most of my team members.

I made it to the flower shop that was down the street from my apartment. I was usually able to find at least one pink rose here, but it was typically very difficult.

"Hello," the shop owner said. "We are close to closing Spencer. Do you need anything in specific?"

"Pink roses," I stated.

The owner laughed, "I'll have to check the back, but don't get your hopes up."

I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, but I couldn't help myself. y/n loves pink roses and I love y/n.

The owner came back, "You my kind sir, are in good luck. We had one bouquet left of pink roses in the back."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said, pulling out my money. The owner nodded as I ran out the door to my car.

Speeding to the hospital, I made it to the waiting room. In the waiting room, I couldn't find the team. They were all there, but they weren't in the waiting room. I decided to go to y/n's room and see if they were near there.

Walking to y/n's room, I heard laughter. I looked into the room and saw the team in there along with y/n, smiling. I knocked on the door and slowly opened it.

"Spence," y/n smiled. "I missed you."

"Well I should get going," JJ began. "I need to go see my boys."

The rest of the team followed with their excuses for leaving y/n and I alone.

"H-hi y/n," I stuttered. "I brought you flowers, h-how are you?"

"I am as good as I can be," y/n laughed, obviously compensating the pain. "Thank you for the flowers Spence, I can't believe you could find them at this hour. You have always told me-"

"10 AM is the best time to buy pink roses," I interrupted. "Sorry."

"It's okay Spence, how are you?" She asked.

"Not that great," I said honestly. "Why didn't you tell us y/n?"

y/n sighed, "It was hard Spencer. I already barely had time alone with you guys and I didn't want to ruin it. Owen was also very scary- a mad man. I felt hopeless Spence, I didn't know what to do. I mean I've seen situations like this all the time in cases, but when it was actually happening I felt like there was nothing to do."

I held on to y/n's hand, giving it small kisses while she continued to talk me through her feelings, "and Spencer, I don't want to be alone tonight. Do you think you could stay?"

"Of course y/n," I answered.

"Thanks Spence, you're the best," she said. We continued to sit in a comfortable silence, watching the new episode of Dr Who on the small television in the corner of the room when y/n spoke up again, "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" I asked, hoping she didn't mean my love confession.

y/n looked at me, knowing I was avoiding the topic, "When you said you love me Spencer. Did you mean it?"

"Yes," I answered.

"I love you too," She said.

I smiled, "Maybe once you're better Icantakeyoutodinner?"

"Spencer say it slower and I'll answer," y/n laughed. "I couldn't understand you."

"Once you're better maybe I can take you out to dinner?" I asked.

"Of course," y/n said. "But no Indian, if we are going on a date I want to go out somewhere. I want to feel pretty."

"To me, you are the most beautiful girl in the world," I said.

y/n blushed profusely, "I still can't believe you found those pink roses! I bet you had to look all over."

"I did, but for you, I'd do anything."

[bokebelle]

connie springer + friends with benefits

A/N: this is very very self-indulgent and ended up being longer than intended but please enjoy my Connie brainrot bc i love him a lot and he needs more content

WARNINGS: 16+; friends with benefits relationship; mentions of sex; modern au

PAIRINGS: connie springer x gn!reader

TAGS: fluff, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

REQUESTS: open

One of the best people to get into a friends with benefits type of relationship 💯

You guys would have to be good friends before this kind of relationship happens. Connie may be fun and goofy from time to time but he wants to make sure you trust him as a partner and vice versa

He probably wasn't even looking for a fwb type relationship tbh it probably just happened and you guys just went with it

it probably started with growing sexual tension whenever you two hung out. A little playful flirting here and there 👀

At a party, you two were a little flirter than usual and he just looked around to see if anyone was around, and whispered in your ear if you wanted to make out in his car LMAO of course you agreed

things just escalated over time til he offered to take you home one night and you best believe he did NOT go home that night

When the post nut clarity finally hit that you guys hooked up, he just asks if you would want to do it again

Connie turned to look at you, lips slightly swollen, with a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and a light sheen of sweat on his chest. "So...wanna do it again?"

"Right now?!" you sit up, instantly feeling the soreness in your lower half. you definitely weren't ready for another round

"Not now, dummy. But maybe...whenever we both wanna, y'know..." he avoided looking at you, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his own proposition. "but if you totally don't want to, it's fine I understand."

A small smile dances on you lips. He looked cute all flustered, suddenly looking nervous when he was anything but just moments ago. "I think I'd like that."

You two don't really tell anyone, but you don't keep it a secret either. He'd tell them what's up if people would ask (if you wanted them to know) but since you guys flirt all the time no one really suspected anything more was going on

the longer your relationship progresses, the bolder he gets lmao literally went from being shy about asking to hookup in his apartment to dragging your ass you his car during a date because his dick "suddenly missed his best buddy" you smacked him

He is also very open to experimenting and trying new things. He'll try it once and if it doesn't work then it's fine. He also respects your boundaries if ever you don't feel comfortable with the idea of trying something new. he won pressure you and won't bring it up

Probably uses a safeword like "taco"

He isn't THAT rough that you'd need one, but he wants to give you the option of stopping whenever you feel like you can handle it 😭 this baby doesn't wanna hurt you and wants you as safe as possible 🥺

This man is a great mix of playful and serious in the bedroom. He knows when to make you laugh during sex and to tone it down when you just need a physical release. your comfort is his priority so he wants to make sure he fits whatever you need

Connie is actually really good with aftercare despite not knowing it's actually a thing!!

He just knows it's on him to take care of his partner afterwards so he helps you clean up, gives you clean clothes especially if you're at his place, and offers you a snack or asks if you wanna watch a movie

If you want to cuddle and just talk, he's totally down! if you also need some personal space, he'll totally respect that and give you the time you need, whenever you need it.

He can be a total flirt but he's also very friendly and knows his limits so he doesn't end up sending mixed signals. He's flirty enough to keep things interesting but not enough to confuse either of you about your relationship unless he falls for you.

Great aftercare? Attentive in the bedroom? Funny, handsome, respectful king? overall one of the best people to have a FWB relationship hands down

If you ever decide you want to end that kind of setup, he'll totally respect it and would still treat you as a good friend! will occasionally make inside jokes about hooking up but it's all in good nature because he enjoyed his time with you and he wants you to remember that time with the same smile he has whenever he thinks about it pls i love him

BONUS: Falling in love with Connie during your FWB relationship (and him falling in love you with back)

honestly how can you not fall for him

Connie is always so sweet, funny, respectful, both in and out of the bedroom so it wasn't long before you started wanting to stay in his arms a bit more after a good session

Connie never treated you any differently, but there were times when things just felt different

The moment you knew you had feelings for him was when he fucked you differently compared to your previous sessions

Sure he would blow your back out every now and then, but there were also more mellow times with him when you both were feeling lazy and needy

But THIS was a new experience. He fucked you slowly, but intensely. His hands were all over you but his touches were more gentle and soft. His kisses were a little bit sweeter and the caresses on your face lingered just a bit longer.

You snuggled into his chest a little more after that and you swore he held you a bit tighter, pulling your body just a bit closer to his. When you became aware of his heart beating under your ear, and found yourself being lulled to sleep by it, you knew you were fucked both literally and figuratively

Your feelings for him weighed you down more and more until you decided you were playing a dangerous game and you had to get out before you reached the point of no return

it sucked having to break things off with Connie but it was the first rule of any fwb relationship and you broke it more and more everyday.

As you sat up and rolled out of bed, ready to get dressed and leave, you felt Connie's arms come up behind you and rested his chin against your shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you stay the night?" he asked, placing a quick kiss on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

You exhale heavily, dreading what was coming next. You didn't plan on breaking it off so soon, but you knew staying the night would only be the wrong choice to make - for your sake and your heart's.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"C'mon, this isn't the first time you've stayed the night. Please?" You wanted to give in. You wanted to roll around, kiss his pretty face and spend the night in his arms. But knowing he didn't feel the same way as you did, knowing you'd leave with a heart that would break a little bit more if you stayed over, is what made you say no.

"It's not a good idea, Connie." you take a deep breath. "Actually, I think we aren't a good idea anymore."

You felt him withdraw his arms from your torso, the areas where he held you instantly feeling cold and empty. You hold on tighter to the sheets, partly to cover yourself up but mostly to keep you from breaking down in front of him.

"What?! Why not? Did I do something wrong? Was I too rough?"

Connie desperately racked his brain for what could have gone wrong from when you were saying his name like a prayer to now. He didn't want to mess it up with you, he really didn't. You slowly became someone he felt safe with. You became the one he wanted to see first thing in the morning, that's why he wanted you to stay over. He was falling for you, but he didn't want to admit it just yet. Maybe you caught on and didn't feel the same way? He knew he'd have to tell you eventually, but he wanted to be selfish a little bit longer. He wanted to enjoy what you guys had before going back to being just friends with no 'benefits'.

"I know we agreed to being just friends but I think I'm starting to feel something more than that and it's really stupid. But I don't think I can do this anymore without falling for you more than I already have." The tension in the air is palpable. In the time it takes for what you said to finally sink in Connie's mind, you decided his silence was his final answer.

When Connie saw your figure quietly get up from the edge of the bed, he knew this was his chance.

He quickly made his way over to your side, sitting on the edge. He reached out and gently wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Don't go, please." He whispered into the skin of your back.

You turn to look at him, keeping your tears at bay, trying to pry his arms off of you. God, with the way he was looking at you, that was almost all the convincing you need to stay just last night with him

"Connie, don't make this harder on me. You don't understa-"

"No, [y/n]" he cuts you off, now moving his hands to hold yours. "you don't understand." he delicately presses a kiss to your fingertips before kissing the back of your hand. "I want you. I want you to stay."

The meaning behind his words lit a spark in you that erupted into a passionate flame in your chest.

Connie wanted you. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

You cup his face, one of his hands coming up to rest over yours. You lean down and place the sweetest, softest kiss you can on his lips. It's not much but you hope he can feel all you've wanted to tell him in that one kiss.

"Okay, Connie, okay" you whisper as your lips pulled away from his own, a small smile forming when he whined at the loss of contact.

You committed the image of Connie Springer pouting at you because he wanted a kiss to your memory. You would tease him about it soon enough, you just wanted cherish the fact that he wanted kisses - your kisses.

You had more nights to share, more kisses to give him, but for now you just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having Connie in your arms, knowing you had each other as long as your hearts wanted.

You wanted to enjoy the feeling of Connie simply being there, finally being yours. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither were you.

"I'll stay."

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #16

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15]

[AO3]

~POV Sinbad~ Mori wasn't just a Prophet, she had immense knowledge of her own that was going to make Sindria untouchable. Sinbad was going to achieve his dream much sooner than he had ever imagined. Mori was special; intelligent, clever, capable, and she could read the waves of Fate. Was there any other woman as attractive? The unknown craving that had plagued him for the past week was placated. Delicious wine, beautiful women, delicious food -none of his normal pleasures had fulfilled whatever that feeling was, but for some reason this moment with the his Beautiful Prophet was. "And now you're *my* kind and generous King Sinbad, ... Right?" Mori's bashful confidence was always endearing, but hearing her call him 'my King' in person made something snap in him. They were in a corner and Mori is small; he could easily block view of her in case any of the magicians turned around. He wouldn't even have to lean that far to get a taste of her. "DO EITHER OF YOU Have an ounce of self awareness??” Ja'far popped the bubble that had formed around the two.

King Sinbad froze. Everyone in the room was watching them. Sinbad stood up straight. He shouldn't exactly continue his plans with an audience. He removed his hand from the window and crossed his arms. Yam was practically shaking the magician next to her. "I wasn't the only one to see it this time!” An older magician with a beard laughed and said something like 'to be young.' Another said something a long the lines of "So it's like that then." Ja'far was still grumbling about his King's behavior -he should know better by now, he promised he wouldn't, etc. but 1. Sinbad didn't do anything wrong, and 2. he said he knew what he was doing -he knew how to handle flirting with Mori; he never said anything about not flirting with her. "And you, Lady Prophet," Ja'far changed targets. 'Oh?' Sinbad didn't expect Mori to be reprimanded for his flirting -although, she did flirt back. Ja'far continued, "You said that you knew about Sin's habits so wouldn't fall for him or-" "AAAAAH" Yamuraiha yelled over the other General as she crossed the room as fast as she could, and clapped a hand over his mouth. She turned to the King and Prophet with wide eyes and a forced smile. "Your Majesty! Mori! Would you like to see the spell again with our new changes?!" She didn't let go of Ja'far. The group of magicians started supporting her suggestion with "Let us show you," "I'm sure we've got it this time," and reciting the changes to the formula. They were clearly trying to stop Ja'far from discouraging Mori. Sinbad had no idea why they suddenly decided to become his wingmen, but it was convenient for him since he planed to do more than flirt with her later. Mori walked up to the Generals, although she only addressed Yamuriaha. "Yes, please! Even if it's not perfect I'd like to see your progress!" She spoke with the same forced enthusiasm as Yam. Sinbad only got a glimpse before Mori's back was to him, but her face was definitely a brighter red than it had been a moment ago. She was getting better at flirting with him, but she couldn't hold her composure for long. The King laughed as the head magician practically body checked Ja'far out of her way and left him out of the group before they preformed the newly revised spell. This time it produced a mostly clear stone. It wasn't a high quality diamond, but they had done it. They would have to be careful with this though since it could lower the market value of whatever they make. As they figured out the specifics for every substance they needed, Sindria could become fully self sufficient -they would still deal in trade so as to not completely leave the rest of the world behind. It was amazing. His magicians were amazing for being able to figure this out in such a short time, and his Prophet was just as -if not even more- amazing for knowing all of this and being able to explain it to them. When the excitement around the magic spell died down they finally showed him the microscope. It was a prototype so they had to be gentle with it. Two pieces of glass with water squished between them were slid under and when Sinbad looked through the lenses he saw the strange small creatures that Mori had written about. Seeing them forced him to accept that what Mori wrote about 'germs' had to be true too -and those were even smaller than these things. Looking at those things squirming around and knowing they were everywhere made his skin crawl. The King stopped looking through the device. "They really are real." "Yup." Mori responded plainly. "And now that you all know and have proof. There's going to have to be a lot of changes. The way illnesses are handled is obvious, but there's going to have to be a lot more changes to how food and housing and things are handle to better maintain sanitary environments. I know a bunch of sanitation procedures so I can help there too." Ja'far was rubbing his temples. "This is going to be a logistical nightmare. Do you realize that we are going to have to fix all those things and get all Sindrians to understand without having it affect our production or

trade??" "It's not like we're doing this alone." Mori tried to comfort him. "We'll figure something out." The conversation moved to this new problem. His Beautiful Prophet really was something else. She had solutions to problems they didn't even know they had. Mori had a habit of using her hands whenever she talked -even more when she was excited. She was cute and deserved to know, but she was in the middle of helping his people so he would hold his tongue and just watch her. If Sinbad was honest, he had stopped listening to the conversation a while ago and was just looking for an opportunity to finally ask Mori -and Yam of course- if they would join him for dinner so he could get all of his Generals more aquatinted with her. Someone mentioned a specific scroll in one of the libraries. Before the whole group could drag Mori out of the room, King Sinbad raised a hand and got everyone's attention. "I know there's a lot to do, but I have some things to discuss with my Beautiful Prophet as well." Mori looked back at him. "What is it?” It seemed that nickname wasn't as affective as before -hopefully it was just the timing. "Is it something we can talk about here?” "I was thinking we could talk over dinner," Sinbad paused to see how she would respond to the implications. Mori's eyes widened and her shoulders tensed, and best of all that blush came back. "With all of my Generals, of course." Mori blushed harder realizing he was messing with her. Yam looked disappointed at first -his Generals cared way to much about him finding a wife- but then she looked content with being a part of the plan. "You might have met them, and know them from reading Fate but they still don't know you yet." He finished. Yam spoke first. "This is a great idea. Pisti was just telling me that she wanted to get to know Mori." Mori regained her composer. "I'd like to get to know everyone personally too, so I'm find with this." It was a roundabout way of saying 'yes.' Her blush was gone but she was still embarrassed. With that settled, Ja'far let Yam and Mori know when dinner would be ready. It was a little earlier than he normally ate but this would give them more time to mingle before they'd be completely out of sunlight. "Well then," the King turned to his Prophet, "since we have some time beforehand-" "OH no you don't!" Ja'far cut in. "You've already had a long enough break *and* you plan on ending early today? The least you can do is work your butt off until then." --- ~POV Mori~ The King was pushed out of the room by his right hand man. I had a mix of relief and longing watching him go. "You'll see his Majesty again soon." Yam had a sweet smile on her face, but I knew better than to trust it. All eyes were on me and they were no longer the eyes of academics; they were hungry for gossip. I was not ready to explain why shipping us was a bad idea. "So about that scroll you mentioned earlier..." I completely shifted conversation back to the eventual rebuilding effort and luckily one of them obliged me.

I was lead to one of the libraries and handed a few scrolls on the construction used in the country. I had read a little on ancient construction methods out of interest and some on modern methods since my uncle worked in the industry. I had a little bit of experience with construction when I worked at a community theater, but it wouldn't be anything the people here wouldn't know. That paired with these documents showing how magic was used in the process made what little I did know completely useless. 'Can't know everything I guess.' I turned my head up towards the ceiling. I wasn't sure how much time I had left and I decided to use it soaking up the ambience of the library. The smell of paper, the maze-esc layouts, the quiet feeling; it's like a gentle space separate from the rest of the world. The libraries of the Black Libra Tower also had huge windows to let in a ton of natural lighting. I was really going to enjoy working in this place. --- Yam and I ended up lost in conversation, so someone ended up being sent to bring us to the dinner. When we finally arrived and opened the doors to the dining hall my nose was filled with the smell of herbs and delicious food. This was my first meal that wasn't paired with bitter medicine. I might have been procrastinating subconsciously to avoid the medicine I was no longer taking. Everyone was already there chatting. The long table was covered with food, but I couldn't make out any of it from the door. King Sinbad was sitting at the head of the table at the other end of the room with a goblet in his hand. Yamuraiha started in ahead of me and called into the room. "I'm sorry we're so late! We were talking about magical proofs and," she rambled in her explanation. I heard a few comments of congrats for getting better and said "Thanks" reflexively more than consciously. As I got closer, I ignored the Generals at the table to look at the spread. There were a few different types of fish, meat of some kind, a bunch of vegetables, and bread. It brought tears to my eyes; It was so beautiful. The Imuchukk laughed at my obvious interest in the food. "What are you waiting for? There plenty for everyone." He was sitting closest to the door. I didn't look away from the food when I answered. "I'm small with a small stomach so I'm going to need to pace myself to be able to eat a little of everything. If I save the best for last like I normally do then I might not even get to eat it." That garnered laughs and comments. I ignored them; I was too busy weighing my options. As the guest of honor I was placed at the opposite end of the table from King Sinbad. Thank goodness, because I didn't think I could handle being super close to him all evening. Even with the direct line of sight, I had distance to protect me. Yam sat on the other side of Hina from me. Pisti was on my other side. Sharrkan was across from Yam. Spartos was between Yam and Ja'far. Drakon was across from Ja'far. And Masrur was between Drakon and Sharrkan.

I picked up my plate to get food. "Alright. I've decided to just grab my favorites. If I have room later then so be it!" I was used to being watched while I eat so their stares didn't bother me. I covered my plate in all of the types of fish and some vegetables. "I take it you like fish?" Sinbad asked while I was taking some of the fish that was on his end of the table. "It's my favorite!" I answered excitedly. I could tell as I placed the grilled fish on my plate that it was going to be heavenly. It was already flaking and letting the smell reach me faster. I couldn't wait to get back to my seat and took a bite of the fish. It melted in my mouth. I let out a squeak of approval as I grabbed another bite. After a moment Sinbad asked me another question. "What do you think of greasy foods?" It felt pointed. "I'll eat it if it's the only option, but I'm not a fan." The Generals made some comments that amounted to, "They have the same taste." I was too busy enjoying my food to think about what they were saying. Pisti asked me her own pointed question as I sat down. "Do you like alcohol?" They were comparing me to Sinbad. I suddenly remembered the Official Character Encyclopedia. According to it, Sinbad's favorite food was fish, his least favorite was greasy, and his favorite snacks were the types that paired well with alcohol. "I'm not a big drinker, but it's not like I dislike alcohol. I'm just allergic to sulfites." "Huh?" The group asked in unison. Time to explain one of my allergies again. "Sulfites are a very useful preservative so it was also added to a lot of foods back home including alcohol. All grape wines produce sulfites naturally. When I ingest about 2 shots of a drink that contains sulfites I will struggle to breathe for about an hour." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the goblet of wine I didn't realize was in front of me was grabbed by Hinahoho. They all looked panicked at each other like they had just dodged a bullet. In an attempt to relieve the tension, Sinbad asked Yam to catch everyone up on the meeting from earlier. Yam started ranting about the progress we had made with the alchemy magic. While they focused on reclaiming the mood, I focused on the delicious food. I tried a root vegetable on my plate. It was a little earthy with a subtle sweetness. The seasoning added to the sweet, but also had a little spice similar to cracked pepper. It had been streamed so it wasn't crunchy. I was asked to repeated what I told Sin and Ja'far earlier about the tech of home, Their questions had me explain more about my world and many of the things I had done: volunteer work to get scholarships, marketing for some networking organizations and some other companies, an assistant and teacher in out of school programs for 6 years while also working at a theater to pay for my own education. I only mentioned some of the places I had traveled to. I didn't even get to the things I did as hobbies or in working toward my dream of being a full time writer&artist. "I'm surprised by how much you say you've done." Drakon commented. I had heard similar before when talking about my past. "Is it really that shocking? Considering my age, I think it makes sense for me to have done a bit." It's more shocking that I was doing all that while getting so sick from my chronic illnesses that I would be fully bedridden and need a machine to breathe at least once a year until I turned 15. But I had also ate up inspiration porn as a child as a motivation to not let my body hold me back if I could. "Aren't we around the same age?" Yam asked me in response. I laughed. "Do I look 23 to you?" I've been mistaken for much younger than I actually was for as long as I could remember. It 1st became a problem when I turned 18 and got told I was clearly 12 with a fake ID when trying to buy an M rate game (Devil May Cry btw). "You're not?” ”Nope.” I rested my elbows on the table, interlocked my fingers, and I placed my chin on top with a smile, "But I'm curious how old you all think I am now." At 25 I was mistaken for a 14

year old. At least, a few months back someone thought I was legal (they guessed 19). Most realized I had to be older the more they talked to me, but their impressions never fully dissipated. As frustrating as it was, I found amusement in times like this by turning my age into a guessing game. Sharkkan had the face of someone fearing they had hit on someone too young. "You are at least 20, right?” They all suddenly looked worried. "I'm definitely older than 20." I answered. Pisti laughed. She was also short with a baby face; she knew my struggle. "Maybe she's older than Ja'far!” Of course she would make the closest guess. "There's no way she's older than me." Ja'far scoffed. "I am older than 25 though.” I could have teased him but I held my tongue since he already seemed annoyed with me. "How old are you then?” Hina asked. "I'm 29.” I smiled at everyone's surprise. I might only have surface levels similarities to Sinbad, but when you're a simp for a fictional character does that really matter? "I was born on April 7th so I should only be 5 days younger than King Sinbad since he was born on the 2nd. However, I don't know if there's a time dilation between my world and this one. The day we met was Oct 3rd for me back home. It wasn't the same date here, was it?" Sinbad is 29, Ja'far is 25, and Masrur is 20 during the Balbadd arc; their 2nd set of ages are 30, 26, and 21 respectfully. Ja'far's birthday is Aug 30th and Masrur's is Dec 27. Those 2nd ages listed can't be for right after the 6 month time skip because no matter how you calculate it the shortest distance between those 3 birthdays is 8 months. I was really interested in how the current arbiter of this world was going to figure this out. "It was Oct 3rd here too." "Oh. Well, that's convenient," was what I said while my thoughts were cursing the arbiter. 'That lazy son of a bitch synced the worlds so they wouldn't have to deal with a time dilation. I can feel it. Hold on... I arrived on Oct 3rd; the coup was 4 days later on the 7th. 6 months later would mean Sinbad arrives back in Sindria on my birthday. Did some 'real me' somewhere plan a b-day present for myself in some self-indulgent fanfiction??' ((Yes. Yes, I did UwU & I plan on making Mori panic then too.)) King Sinbad had that smile on his face that told me he was ready to flirt. "I didn't realize we were so close in age." No colors got in my way when he talked. That was good. I was desensitized again, and wouldn't have to deal with unnecessary distractions. I couldn't tease Ja'far, but I could tease his Majesty. "I know, right? It's amazing what the difference of 5 days can do for one's complexion." Sinbad froze and his expression went blank. Something that was probably wine sprayed across the table as Sharkkan had a spit take before erupting into laughter with Hinahoho and Pisti. "Oh my" Yam murmured with a hand over her mouth. Drakon , Spartos, and Ja'far stared at me in disbelief. Sinbad still wasn't responding... Maybe teasing him about his age was a bad idea. So far, unless it was something important I flirted with Sinbad since that was the best way to get on his good side; hearing something like this from me must have hurt a bit extra. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot just how sensitive he was about his age. I ended up flailing my hands from nerves, and to get his attention. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that when I know how self conscious you are." He flinched. "I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you won't look any older than you do now 5 years from now..." "I uh.. Is that so?" Sinbad asked as he started to regain himself. "It is. You'll be just as-” "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" Ja'far cut in with a fierce look. He had been waiting for any mention of the future to bring this up. The King spoke with a gentle but stern tone. "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with

everyone after all." "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." I had been avoiding this conversation for long enough. There were things I still planned to keep secret, but I couldn't avoid having this conversation forever. And besides, I could feel in the waves that Ja'far wasn't going to let this night end unless I explained some of it. ((I have the next 3 chapters written but it's going to take me a bit to draw all of illustrations & comics. Also, good luck to all the students reading this. I know classes are starting up again. Be safe out there.))

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Eleven: A Pining Professor

A/N: This is the eleventh part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 1913

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

"Very well done, Miss Granger." Aria commended as the young Hermione Granger brandished her perfectly completed potion to the class. "Now, who's next?" The professor questioned looking around the room for another student to choose. Her eyes quickly landed on an awkward looking fourth year Gryffindor boy. "How about you, Mr. Longbottom. Care to show us your final potion?"

The boy looked around nervously, attempting to straighten out his disheveled robes, hoping someone would save him from this inevitable embarrassment.

"Erm... I... I don't think I've done it right, Professor Dumbledore." Neville shot a quick, terrified glance in the direction of Severus Snape, who was, as usual hunched over his desk, paying little attention to the classroom full of students.

"Don't look so worried, Neville." Aria replied softly, beckoning the boy to test out his shrinking solution. "Professor Snape and I are not here to judge your abilities, but to guide you in the right direction, allowing you to flourish to your highest potential."

Professor Snape let out a low grunt, looking up from his desk for a brief second, unimpressed by the encouraging words of his apprentice.

Neville Longbottom took a step up to the front of the classroom, a small vial of his potion shaking slightly in his hand. Aria snatched a spare quill from the Potion Masters desk and laid it down in front of Neville waiting to see the results of his concoction. The acid green liquid dripped down onto the feathers, small droplets of the potion pooling together, quickly drowning the quill. The students stood around in silence, waiting for the quill to shrink down into practically nothing. However, instead of shrinking, the potion began to bubble and fizz. Within seconds the bubbles turned into a rabid foaming substance. After a few moments of watching the foam expand, it disappeared completely, the feathers of the quill melting away with it.

Almost as if the whole class had been holding their breath, a large number of students exhaled simultaneously. Neville's face dropped, disheartened by his efforts. "Not to worry, Longbottom, we'll walk you through it one more time, and show you what went wrong."

"I don't think so, Miss Dumbledore." Professor Snape piped up, appearing at the side of  the young woman. "Mr. Longbottom, I want you to write an essay at least 1500 words detailing exactly what went wrong, and how you will re-mediate your efforts in the future. I want this on my desk by tomorrow morning." His sudden appearance dulled the mood Aria had worked to built within the class, instantaneously.

"Yes Sir." The boy retorted, cowering away back to the crowd of students. 

Aria stared at the Professor, stunned at his interference. The pair had come to an agreement where Severus took on the theoretical aspect of the job, teaching the students his methods, while Aria took on the practical aspect, helping the students as they brewed. Severus often stayed quiet during her teaching time, taking nothing to do with the students after he taught them the correct brewing process. He trusted her to lead them in the right direction, after all. However,  today Snape was persistent in making himself known, he felt the need to remind them all of his intimidating, dominant presence, determined to scare the students, into obedience.

"Class dismissed." Snape ordered, the children fleeing from the room before the words had even completely left his mouth.

Just as fast as the room had cleared, Severus made a move to gather the papers from his desk, appearing to be getting ready to leave the classroom, something he never usually done until it was time for the great feast.

"Where are you going?" Aria questioned, closing the gap between herself and the Potions Master, stopping him from wandering off without an explanation.

"To my office to mark the remainder of these essays... in peace." He stated, his tone full of venom. Again, Aria was taken aback by the way the man spoke to her. He had gradually been warming up to her these past few weeks and it had been a long time since he spoke to her with such anger. Considering how the previous evening had panned out, it bothered Aria that he had become so frosty again so quickly, they had made so much progress since their first meeting. And for what? For Severus to just immediately go back to his old ways. Aria wasn't about to let that happen anytime soon.

"What's your problem, Severus?" Aria snapped, getting in between the door and her mentor. "You've been acting like a dick all day. We finally had a nice evening together, both of us doing our own thing, it was nice! But then you ran out suddenly and without reason. And now you're acting even worse than you did before. Did I do something to piss you off? Please tell me!" She ranted, desperate for an answer.

"I'm not quite sure what you think went on last night, but whatever it is, I advise you get it out of your head immediately." He snapped, gradually nearing the exit.

"What are you talking about?" Aria questioned, sincerely confused. "Nothing did happen last night Severus and I'm not acting like it did. What's going on with you, is there something wrong?"

"Don't patronise me, Miss Dumbeldore, I don't need your pity." He seethed, clutching his stack of papers tightly to his chest. "I want to make it abundantly clear to you that we are to maintain a strictly professional relationship from here on out. We are not friends. And we never will be."

Seeing the enraged look grow on his face, Aria gave in, not willing to argue with her mentor any longer.  Stepping away from the door, she allowed Severus to take his leave. The whole conversation had thoroughly confused her, she had thought last night had been nice for the both of them but clearly she was wrong and it just wasn't worth aggravating Severus even more.

From the moment Severus left Aria's room to the minute she walked through his classroom door the next morning Severus had not stopped thinking about the woman he tried so hard to despise. He had not slept, therefore he was even more unpleasant than usual. He was irritable with his coworkers, terrifying to his students, and just flat out mean to Aria. Although his body could not deny that he was attracted to her, a night of constant angry thoughts aimed at himself, quickly formed into a hatred for the woman in a desperate attempt to hide the embarrassment he was feeling not so deep down.

Determined to distance himself from his apprentice, he 'gave her the night off', if you could phrase it that way. Severus shut himself in his office, banning her from joining him while he marked as she so often did. Distracting himself from thoughts of her seemed to be working for him, and in no less than a few hours he was feeling back to his usual self. No thoughts of Aria entering his mind, whether it be thoughts of anger, lust or... Well, lets just say Aria was successfully no longer on his mind.

That was, of course, until a familiar rumble was heard from his stomach and he knew he could not avoid the great feast, though he so wanted to.

Seeing the young woman walk into the Great Hall amongst a crowd of students sent an instant pang into Severus' gut. It was then he knew that no matter how hard he tried to get this woman off his mind and no matter how 'temporarily' successful he was at doing so, there was no way he was ever going to escape how he felt. He could pick her out amongst a crowded room, and the beating of his heart became instantly deafening. This was not an attraction he saw himself being able to easily escape from.

Taking her regular seat at the table in between Severus and Minerva, the two woman got to chatting immediately. Aria kept herself turned away from the potions master, knowing he would not be in the mood to have any type of interaction with her. Snape found himself hurt that Aria kept her back to him, he hated the fact she wasn't trying harder to break him from the mood he had got himself into. Though if she had tried he would not be willing to be broken out of it quite yet.

As the whole hall began to fill with chatter and laughter Severus found himself the only miserable man in the place. He sat through the meal in silence, not talking to anyone, and no one speaking to him. It was on this rare occasion he found himself lonely in the situation he had created to protect himself from emotions exactly like this.

As the feast came to an end Professor Snape was ready to flee from the room, uninterested in anything else it had to offer him.

That was, until, a plump little owl found its way over to Aria Dumbledore and a gasp of glee escaped the two women beside him. His interest piqued, Severus settled back into his chair, focusing in on the conversation of his colleagues.

"Who's it from?" Minerva queried, her eyes having already scanned the contents of the letter.

"Oh it's just some guy I met at the Three Broomsticks. Pretty much saved me from being touched up by an old creep." The witch replied, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

"And he's asked you on a date?" Mcgonagall questioned further.

"No not at all." Aria scoffed. "Its just a few drinks see." She said passing over the parchment to the older woman.

"Sounds like a date to me." Professor McGonagall grinned.

"Its not a date!" Aria screeched in return, though Severus noted a hint of excitement in her voice.

The Potions Master felt his face burn with jealousy, a fiery hot ball growing inside him just waiting to burst out his chest. He hated the thought of seeing Aria out with another man, though he knew he could not be with her either. He was jealous for sure, but there was no way he would ever be willing to commit to her. Not that she could ever feel the same about him, if he did. He did not want her himself, but he also did not want anyone else to have her.

It was then the memory of another letter crossed his mind. Someone else already did have her. According to the letter he came across in her quarters she was in a relationship. And now, as much as she wanted to deny it, this new letter stated she would be going on a date with someone else.

Despite how sweet and innocent this young witch may seem, Severus Snape was beginning to build a picture of who she really was. It was clear to him now that from the moment she arrived at Hogwarts she had been playing him, just like he assumed she was playing these other men. 'She flirts and charms her way into getting everything she wants. Snape thought to himself. After all, she young and extremely attractive. What exactly is stopping her from taking advantage of everyone who falls for her. Well not me.' The thought continued. 'I'm wont be taken advantage of anymore.'

And with that Severus stormed from the room, his opinion of his apprentice having changed completely.

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@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil

[kiingocreative]

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So reviews aren’t just a nice to have — they’re critical to the success of a book.

Now, amongst the writers community, we talk a lot about receiving reviews, but less so about giving reviews. I enjoy writing book reviews immensely, because it makes me think about what I’m reading on a different level, and forces me to learn how to articulate that opinion. This is actually one of the main reasons why I got into professional BETA reading.

I was asked recently how I structure my book reviews (all of which can be found on my blog), so here you have it: all the secrets to how I go about writing book reviews, along with some concrete examples!

Start With Why.

The most important question to ask yourself before you even start writing a review is this:

Why do people read book reviews?

In essence, they want to know whether the book is good, what it’s about, and — more importantly — whether they should read it. They generally like some context and detail to back the review so that they feel it’s genuine and trustworthy.

If you can keep in mind what people generally want to get out of a book review, this will help you keep your review relevant and useful. It’ll help you figure out what’s worth including and what isn’t. If in doubt, ask yourself what you would want to read about in a review when you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy a book.

Some Key Questions.

Before you start writing, you also need to ponder a few things. It may not always feel natural to reflect on a book on this level of detail — it didn’t for me at first. I either liked a book, or I loved it, or I didn’t, but I rarely spent a lot of time critically thinking about why I did or didn’t like a read.

If you’re also finding this uncomfortable at first, I say stick with it. I found it extremely interesting to make myself think these things through. It’s made my writing so much better, because I’ve developed that objective evaluation muscle that activates even when I’m with my own work. It’s also made me much better at forming and formulating an opinion, which is something I didn’t use to be good at!

Here are some questions to start with before you start on your review:

• Did you like the book?

• What did you like about it?

• What didn’t you like about it?

• Are there any themes that were particularly well handled?

• Were there any characters you liked above others, and why?

• Would you recommend the book to a friend?

These few questions will start shaping your view of what you’ve read and provide the main elements of your review.

To take your critical reading to the next level, you may want to ponder the various elements of the story and the writing as a whole. Think about:

• The plot / storyline — is it strong? Consistent? Original? Enticing? Are there gaps?

• The characters and character arcs — are all characters well developed? Multi-layered? Do they make sense? Are they relatable?

• The key themes — what are some recurring topics through the story? Are they well handled?

• The pace and timeline — is the story progressing at a good pace? Where does it lag? Does the timeline make sense?

• The writing style — how was the writing style? Did it flow well? Did it feel unique or original?

• The dialogues — did they feel natural? Were they believable? Were they engaging? Did they add to the overall story?

• The editing — how was the editing? Were there any typos or formatting errors?

Example Review Outline

Once you’ve spent some time with those initial questions, you’ll find it gives you the best part of your review content. At first, you may want to note down your answers to each of these. With time, you may find you can process these in your mind faster than you did before, and you don’t need so many notes. Whichever way is right for you, once you have this, you’re ready to start structuring your review.

I tend to use the following outline (though, of course, this isn’t the one and only way to write a review!):

1. Star Rating:

It’s most common in this day and age to include a rating in your review. There are talks out there about not leaving a rating on a book, because these can be extremely subjective — someone’s three-star rating may mean they loved the book but for others it’s a negative rating, some people don’t leave five-star reviews out of principle etc.

If you’re reviewing the book on Amazon and Goodreads however, you don’t have a choice but to pick a rating out of five stars. Have a think about how that rating system relates to you. For instance: would you leave five star ratings? What rating do you use for a book you liked versus a book you absolutely loved? What kind of book would warrant a low-rating? etc.

2. Opening:

Start with a short overview of what you thought of the book. This should give the reader a concise view of what you thought of the book, in two or three sentences. The idea is that, if they read only this opening part of the review, they should know your view on the matter.

Here’s an example opening paragraph I wrote for Heart of a Runaway Girl by Trevor Wiltzen:

‘Heart of a Runaway Girl is a breath of fresh air. As far as crime and murder investigation novels go, I only ever read Agatha Christie, so my standard is high. But this book did not disappoint.’

3. Synopsis:

The next section of the review is a short summary of the book, which should give the main elements of the plot. I tend to keep that part really short because I find that, if anyone wants to know the specifics, the book blurb the author so diligently wrote for the back cover is a much better place to learn more about that. Yes, you need to give a sense of what the book’s about, but it shouldn’t be the bulk of the review.

I think this is a matter of personal preference, I’ve seen reviews out there with a much longer synopsis section, but I always find myself skipping those bits to get to the nitty gritty of the review, which is what the person thought. There again, go back to the why — people who read reviews do so to find out whether or not they want to buy a book, so the more valuable pieces to help with that (in my view) are your opinions, more than an in-depth summary which they can find elsewhere.

For instance, when I reviewed Counter Ops by Jessica Scurlock, the second opus in the Pretty Lies series, I kept the synopsis paragraph to:

‘In Counter Ops, we meet a familiar duo, Ivy and Nixon, as they face the aftermath of the Elite Auction, and each endure its painful consequences. We follow their journey as they try to escape their fate and attempt to come to each other’s rescue — in more ways than one.’

4. Highlights:

The next part is what I call the ‘highlights’. This is where you talk about what you liked most about the book, or what you thought the strongest parts of the book were. This can focus on one element of the book (a character, a part of the plot, a theme etc.) or cover multiple elements.

See, for example, the highlights I picked for my review of Age of the Almek by Tara Lake:

‘I loved the author's ability to give every character their own voice and a distinct perspective on the world around them. I loved how involved I became with every character's fate and woes. I loved the precision with which the Almek world has been created, with such minuteness you can picture it down to the finest details.

My favourite part is the portrayal of the many facets of human nature, be it through the reactions of the masses to the barbaric ways of their rulers or the individual views of the protagonists. In every Almek citizen is a piece of the great puzzle that is humanity at large, and the author has a gift for writing it as raw and real as it gets.’

5. Mitigate your view:

Right after the highlights is where you’d add anything that mitigates your view. That’s anything that wasn’t quite as strong as you’d want it to be, or anything you weren’t a fan of.

You can skip this part if there’s nothing you didn’t like about the book — you don’t have to go nitpicking if nothing comes to mind. And it doesn’t have to be a bashing of the author and their work either. Keep it constructive and explain why you felt that way. There’s never a need for insults or expletives, and these wouldn’t enhance the quality of your review anyways. Formulating constructive criticism takes practice, and requires tact and subtlety. It’s a valuable skill to have if you’re willing to invest time in honing it.

Here’s how I phrased that part of the review for Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan:

‘But - and there's a but - my qualm with this book is that, for a story that revolves entirely around Nick and Rachel... There's actually very little Nick and Rachel in it!

Yes it's all 'about' them and it talks 'of' them loads, and we're told theyare happy together and want to be together... But it's all 'tell' and no 'show'. Their intimacy is sorely lacking, so I was left missing that added colour to convince me that they, in fact, do love each other. And I'm not talking saucy passages — I 'm talking about basic things suchas them actually talking to each other and spending time together.’

6. Conclusion:

The final part of the review is a short paragraph with closing remarks, such as a short summary of your view on the book, whether or not you recommend it or some indication of what readers the book may be for (e.g. ‘if you liked… you may like this book’).

When I reviewed Collision by Kristen Granata, I ended the review with:

‘Readers used to intricate, far-fetched romance plots may find this book too straightforward for their liking. In my mind, this is what makes the book's key strength: it's real and honest, it takes the reader through difficult situations and complex emotions beautifully, and that makes it all the more relatable.

A great read overall - and the moment I finished the last page, I was on Amazon ordering the next book in the series!’

How long should a review be?

I don’t think there should be a minimum or maximum word count to a review, though I find that mine end up being around 300 to 500 words. I feel this is a good length because as a reviewer this forces me to be concise and clear in expressing my opinions, and as a reader it’s long enough to give people a sense of the book, but not too long that they’ll drop off before the end.

Final Thoughts: To spoil or not to spoil?

My view on adding spoilers in your review is simple: DON’T.

Try as I might, I can’t fathom what could be gained from adding spoilers to a review. Once again: back to the why. Someone reads a review to find out if they want to read the book themselves. If you ruin the plot for them in that review, what’s the incentive to pick up the book?

It just hurts the author’s chances of making a book sale, and it robs a fellow reader of the joyful rollercoaster of finding out those plot twists at their own pace. Don’t do it, it’s just rude.

*Sources:

www.bookmarketingtools.com

www.searchenginewatch.com

www.dealeron.com

[tansypoisoning]

I'm a slut... Stalker Bucky with a breeding kink. Noncon please and thank you. 😖🙏🏼

No worries; you’re among fellow sluts here 🙏🏼(This obsessive Bucky isreal mushy, my dudes)

Warning: non con, stalking, breeding, light bondage

You braced yourself, your eyes shifting from side to side as youwaited for the locksmith to repair the bolts in your window. You hadhad to spend the previous night with them unlocked, and you didn’tget a wink of sleep. You didn’t dare close your eyes, in fear thatwhen you opened them you would be met with a stranger’s.

It had been two months, two weeks and three days since your peace ofmind had been put in jeopardy. It all started with a letter, brimmingwith declarations of love and devotion from a secret admirer, left inwith your mail. You laughed it off, deciding it had to be a prank,but ever since that day you had a little voice in the back of yourhead telling you to watch your back.

Two days later, there was a bouquet of red roses at your doorstep.Three more days, and it was an envelope with pictures of you goingabout your day, a little message scribbled on the back of eachphotography: “I love the sound of your laughter”, “You’re socute when you sneeze”, “I can’t wait for when we finally can gofurniture shopping together”, “I’ll never let you go”.

You talked to the cops and showed them the collected evidence, but asthe culprit had left no clues to lead them to his identity, and youcouldn’t even begin to imagine who might be sending you those, therewas nothing they could do. You didn’t have money to even buy acamera to catch the suspect in the act, much less to move and hopethey wouldn’t follow after, so you had no choice but to remain inyour home, where your stalker could always find you.

You spent the following weeks amassing all the little gifts youreceived and sending them to the police station. Nothing ever came ofit, despite the fact that the items grew progressively more complex,more fitted to your interests – trinkets that one might purchase onValentine’s day morphing into things you had picked up in storesbut put back on account of their being too expensive; the bouquetsstarted carrying your favorite flowers instead, filling the yourentrance with their sweet smell; the pictures your stalker took ofyou were all in your favorite angles, the ones you thought flatteredyou the best. All you could do was go about your life as if nothingstrange was happening, as if you weren’t terrified every wakingmoment.

Last night, though, your fear took a much more concrete form.

You came home to find your bedroom window wide open, the lock bustedfrom the outside. You had huddled in a corner and called the police,explaining the situation through your tears, but when they arrivedthere was none else at your place, and nothing had been stolen oreven moved. The officers left, one shaking his head and the othermumbling in annoyance. You didn’t expect they’d be of much helpif someone eventually broke in.

“M’am?” The locksmith called you, concern reflected in his blueeyes. You smiled at him, half sincere and half panicked. He was quitehandsome, but you were too distraught to give it more than a passingthought “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Ah – yes, of course. It’s the first door left down the hall.”

He nodded, fixed his gloves and left you alone to mull over yoursituation. Your stalker had never been explicitly violent, none oftheir letters expressed a desire to hurt you and he never tookanything. The sudden development from dedicated fan to literalintruder was worrisome. Had they been biding their time all thiswhile and were now ready to act on whatever plan they had?

The locksmith returned, offering you a small smile before gettingback to his work. New locks should see you through for a coupleweeks, and then… then you could leave this damn place.

———————————————————————————————————–

You had passed out cold quickly, feeling safer and exhausted. Youwere sure you would’ve slept for the entire night and then some,but it wasn’t to be.

Your eyes snapped open. It took you a moment to realize what thestrange weight on top of you was, but when you did you screamed.

A hand muffled your voice before you could get a single syllable out,and you latched onto the wrist attached to it on reflex. You pulledat the intruder’s arms furiously, tried to swivel your body to geta better leverage to push them off, but their legs pinned your, andyour wrists were tied to the headboard.

Once you stopped your pointless struggle and your eyes adjusted tothe darkness of the room you saw the eyes of your attacker andwhimpered when you recognized their blue hue.

How could you have been so stupid? You let a stranger intoyour house – a man nonetheless – and gave him free reign over itwhile you were too busy bemoaning your fate, not realizing that yourcarelessness was what had sealed it.

“Hey.” He smiled “Remember me?”

You waited for the locksmith to pull his hand from your mouth, but hedidn’t, so you just nodded, making his grin grow that much wider.

“I was scared you wouldn’t.” He ducked his head bashfully andchuckled “I’m sorry I had to do things like this. I couldn’twait to talk to you the normal way, you know? Couldn’t risk it.” He looked up and touched your cheeks “I know how to make you happy,I spent all this time learning about you… You don’t have to worryabout a thing.”

That was what it took for you to finally bite his palm, using whatyou hoped was force enough to pierce through flesh.

The man winced and pulled his hand away, but he gave you no time tocry for help, quickly pushing your face against the pillow you laidon.

“I know you’re not ready to accept me.” He said, wrapping hislegs over and around yours to lift his torso and kept you pinned downat the same time.

Something slid along the side of your body; something cold and hard.You feared it was a gun, until it reached your waistband, hookingaround it like a metallic claw and tugging at it.

“I know love takes time; everything good does. I’ll help youevery step of the way,” he punctuated the last word with a huff ashe pulled your panties down your legs “but I can’t let you ruinthis for us.”

He lifted his arm triumphantly, your underwear firmly clutched inbetween metal fingers. He turned your head to him and pressed againstyou cheeks until you had no choice but to unclench your jaw. Heshoved the cloth in your mouth, and in contrast to the aggression heused to do that, the kiss he placed on your open lips was soft assilk. You gagged as the scent of your own lubrication flooded yournostrils.

“Sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself.” The man stated,smoothing his palm over your brow as if to ease your frown. “Myname’s James, but… call me Bucky, okay?”

He didn’t wait for your response, kissinging the tip of your nosethen his way down your body. His movements were paradoxical, at timeshovering his lips over your skin and shuddering reverently, and atothers grasping at you like he wanted to rip you open and crawlinside.

You both gasped when he reached your pussy. You tried to close yourlegs, but his hands grasped your thighs and held them up against yourchest. He lingered above you, his breath giving you goosebumps. Helifted his head, presumably to look at you (youcouldn’t see hisface in the dark) and you felt his flesh hand tremble.

“You are beautiful.” He rasped “I… I didn’t know you’d beso beautiful.”

In the silence of the room, you could hear him swallow.

Bucky hovered his lips above your cunt, then, as if to gathercourage, he breathed you in before licking a path from your entranceto your clit. He trembled above you and looked up.

“And you taste so good.” He whispered airily, before ducking hishead down again.

The movements of his tongue mimicked those of his hands and lips whenhe had been exploring your body. He couldn’t decide between sucklingyour folds and diving inside you as if to devour you. You feltyourself growing wetter despite your wishes, and your hips did littleupward thrusts whenever he would lick your clitoris.

Bucky ripped himself away from you, so suddenly it looked likesomeone had pulled him up by the hair.

“Fuck, I’m close.” He panted, and you believed him. You couldsee the strain on his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I can’t make youcum yet. Can’t waste it.”

He grunted and dragged his body up until he was face to face withyou. His jaw and eyes glistened as he leaned over you to peck yourlips.

“I can’t wait for when you finally kiss me back.” He whispered,then bowed his head to nuzzle your neck.

He pulled his real hand away, and you used the opportunity to try andkick him. His metal fingers hardened against the flesh of your thigh,making you yell around the makeshift gag.

“Don’t.” He warned, looking up at you squeezing your leg alittle tighter before releasing “If you don’t struggle, I’m notgonna hurt you.”

He stared a little longer, then huffed and went back to your neckwhen you didn’t respond. He fiddled with his bottoms, slipping themdown just low enough to get his cock out. It slapped against yourass, already rock hard and leaking.

“I’m so sorry” he began, rubbing himself against your pussy “Icouldn’t make it more romantic. I’ll make it up to you. We have allthe time in the world…”

He pushed into you slowly, wheezing with each inch that entered yourquivering cunt. He bottomed out with a grunt, then fell on top ofyou, hugging your body to his and panting. You wished you could sayit was painful, but having him inside you felt horribly right.

“You’re squeezing me so tight.” He whispered against the top ofyour head. “It’s like you don’t want to let go.”

Bucky sighed in contentment and rutted against you. He moaned withevery slow roll of his hips, kissing your hair in between hisinterjections. It was a while of grinding before he began to plungeinto you, his pelvis doing all the work while his torso remained inplace, practically crushing you under his weight.

“It’s okay. I don’t want to let go either.”

His pubic bone bumped against your clitoris with each thrust, andalthough he huffed like a man who couldn’t handle anymore, his hipskept a steady pace that had you seeing stars. You hated the way yourbody reacted to his onslaught, growing slicker and becoming moreattuned to his, reacting like he was your lover rather than anassailant.

Your mewls were muffled by your panties and your loins burned as theysought more contact with the man above you. If Bucky didn’t stopsoon you’d end up coming and you couldn’t let that happen – notwhen he was already deluded enough to think you’d ever love him.You clamped down around him so he would finish faster, but all thatdid was make you feel even better.

“Look at me, look at me.” He murmured, cupping your cheeks andforcing you to lock eyes with him. “I’m so close, baby, I-”

He didn’t finish his sentence, fading into a cacophony of gruntsand his hips slammed into you relentlessly. You wheezed as breathingthrough the gag became harder with each of his thrusts. You felt youwere suffocating when you underwear was ripped off. You only had timeto take one gulp of air before Bucky crashed his lips against yoursin an open mouthed kiss.

Your brain short circuited; the lack of oxygen coupled with yourorgasm made the room spin around. You were just barely cognizant ofthe warmth pooling around in your core and the hissing sound aboveyou. Your body twisted until the pleasure slowly ebbed away and youcould finally think again. You had come, and he had come inyou.

“Get off me!” You tried to scream, but your throat was too sorefor the sound to come out as anything more than a rasp.

“No.” He sighed, thrusting upwards to stop his semi-soft dickfrom slipping out of you “Can’t waste a single drop.”

You frowned, wiggling your body to push him off. Bucky didn’tdislodge his pelvis from yours, only lifted his torso to look at you.His smile was sweet and fond, as if your eyes weren’t glossy withtears.

“I hope this isn’t too uncomfortable. I gotta make sure it’sgoing to take.” He whispered, and you mouthed ‘what?’ inreturn, your voice nearly gone, making him chuckle “Our baby.”

It was as if your larynx was constricting in on itself as your mindworked a million miles an hour to process his words. You couldn’tgrasp it, refused to to, even if he was being perfectly clear: thiswasn’t just a one time thing for him, and he intended to make yourbond to him permanent.

“Hey, it’s okay. I meant it when I said I would help you everystep of the way.” Bucky pressed a gentle lingering kiss to yourlips “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”

[erin-epica]

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.