#I'm literally crying at 10:30 in the morning

[h3ad1st4hal0s]

babygirl I love you so much my angel my star the love of my life

[xxelfmamaxx]

•♥︎•Shanks boyfriend head canons•♥︎•

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

⋘ 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡... ⋙

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𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

A/n:Hello everyone! I'm dropping off Shanks x reader, I hope you enjoy it, sorry if there is wrong spelling, English isn't my first language. Enjoy!

Warnings:none

Pronouns:She/her

Okay first of, let's start at how you two met

Basically you were working in a pub, serving customers

And out of nowhere pirates appeard to steal some cash

The Red Haired Pirates were at that moment exploring your island and heard some screams and crying

When they came to the pub and peeked in the window, they saw a captain gripping onto your throat

As soon as Shanks saw your pretty face, he didn't and wouldn't let anyone destroy you and your pretty face

Then Shanks came in with his crew and destroyed everyone, one of the members of that crew managed to escape but soon enough Benn caught them and killed them

You were on the floor crying and breathing heavily, trying to catch a breath

And Shanks came down to help you out, he and his crew even helped you to clean and recover the pub for a little bit.

You offered them a drink and placed it on the house, his crew took a liking in you, especially Shanks

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, he flirted with you non stop while he was at the pub and you were blushing at every his compliment

It was obvious he liked you, it was like a love at the first sight

He and his crew stayed over night, he wanted to be a bit more closer to you, he even walked along with you around the island as you showed him around, even if it the sun began to set

When you two stood in front of the beautiful view on the cliff he finally took your hand and confessed

When you accepted his love and smiled you both kissed each other

Now your relationship!

When you two started dating, the day after he confessed, you actually packed your things and went along with him

Obviously you said goodbye to your family and friends and went along with Shanks

On the ship, you'd help clean and wash dishes

As much as Benn respected Shanks, he also respected you, since you're his Captains girlfriend now.

Shanks would and will tease you a lot, no matter where you are.

He is clingy if you don't kiss him or hug him, or if you reject his kisses and hugs:"But, Y/n!, I haven't seen you all day, I need at least a kiss", "Shanks, I'm literally on the same ship as you and I've been with you since the morning"

He'd sometimes demand some massages on the shoulders and back, he would also talk about stories of his past and maybe even mention Luffy!

He'd protect you at any cost, no matter what, even if it meant losing his right arm and be without arms. If you got in danger, he would make sure to send someone but mostly Benn to protect you while he beats the crap out of the person who hurted you or attacked you

When it's bedtime, you two would share a good night kiss on the forehead and you would be curled up next to him as he with his strong arms and legs hugs you

Also, I believe his kisses are loving and seductive, if it's seductive it might even lead you both to... you know..

Make sure not to let him drink too much!!! He would be either flirty or dumb. He might even start flirting with you, forgetting you are already his girlfriend. But if you flirt with him, he will be like "Sorry, I already have a girlfriend". You would just look at him confused like, " I am your girlfriend-"

© do not steal from @xxelfmamaxx , modify, copy, and/or repost my works anywhere.

[kradogsrats]

If Soren seems to have gotten sick when he was a toddler, do you think Lissa left shortly after Claudia was born…? Maybe that doesn’t quite line up, actually…

Okay so I saw someone ask Aaron Ehasz a similar question about the timeline of Soren's illness re: Viren's dream vs. the events presented in Puzzle House, and I cannot remember where it was but his response was something like "hm... well you should probably believe the show."

Which immediately made me go "oh my god was Soren actually dead for like three to five years and Kpp'Ar was looking for a unicorn horn to resurrect him in a manner similar to the Star magic spell that 'restores bodies to separated spirits' and then instead Viren stole Ziard's staff from him and used that??????" which is a) insane, and b) has several reasons it probably isn't the case. But it's a thought I had.

Anyway, let's look at our contrasting sources:

Puzzle House

Puzzle House establishes the following sequence of events:

Soren is ill to the point of dying

Kpp'Ar disappears

Soren gets better

Lissa leaves

It's also implied that this was all pretty recent, between King Atticus's concern for Viren and Soren's for Claudia:

So, how old are all these extremely precocious young children in Puzzle House?

Well, Sarai is... quite pregnant. She's got a pretty small frame, but I'd still put her at like 30 weeks, minimum. Ezran is pinned at 10 in the official character lineup. (In s4 he says he was "nine years old" when Harrow was killed. Given his March birthday, he is probably fudging that a bit since s1 starts mid-May so he was pretty recently 10 at the time.) Viren also puts Harrow's coronation and Sarai's death at nine years earlier, at which point I would estimate Ezran at roughly 6-8 months, given how he is portrayed.

Also given the mid-May start to s1, we also have Claudia at almost 17, and Soren at about 18 and a half. Soren is about 18 months older than Claudia. So between all of that, we can probably ballpark Puzzle House at about one year before Harrow's coronation. This puts Soren at about 8 and a half, and Claudia at almost 7. (And Callum at about to turn 5, if anyone's keeping track.)

Given the way it's spoken about, I would not put Soren's recovery at earlier than 6 months prior, and probably more like 3 or so. This roughly lines up with the estimates I had for everything before, so idk go me or whatever.

Strangers

We do also have a third source for details on Soren's illness, which is the Strangers short from Reflections. This establishes that Soren was old enough to remember details about that time:

If Soren was the age he appears in Viren's dream, then a) he probably wouldn't remember any of it, and b) Claudia would have been an infant. Now, an infant can definitely cry in their room until morning, but I do think the implication here is supposed to be that she was old enough to understand what was happening and have emotions about it.

Additionally, Soren thinks of the slow breaths practice as something he did therapeutically for a long time:

Basically, I think it's pretty clear between this and the info in Puzzle House that the Puzzle House timeline is accurate, but Soren initially developed what was actually a chronic illness much earlier.

Viren's Dream

Now, what about Viren's dream?

It's incredibly difficult to pinpoint ages of children in animation purely visually, so I'm mostly basing an estimate of 2-3 years old for Soren during Viren's dream off of his demonstrated stage of linguistic development and the fact that he's able to run. He could be delayed in one or both areas, though.

Viren dreams of Soren turning to stone, similar to how Thunder did (and how Viren does in the opening). This is interesting in that the implication is certainly death, but it also has heavy ties to dark magic and the other themes of Viren's dreaming, which I would say put it as more related to something along the lines of a "sealed fate" rather than literal death. Dreaming Viren knows what he didn't know when Soren was that age, and probably developed his first recognizable symptoms—that this illness would come close to killing him, and Viren would give up everything to save him.

There's also a possible implication there that dark magic was actually what caused Soren's illness in the first place, which could be something interesting to explore. (And I've definitely seen people explore it, before.)

Anyway, like most of Viren's dream, it's accurate but not literal.

TL;DR: Dreams are fucking weird, and Claudia was still probably between six and seven years old when Lissa left the family.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my husband to stop taking NyQuil?

My father in law came to visit for Thanksgiving and gave my family (me 30F, and our kids 2F, .5F) covid. It's hit my husband (31M) the hardest. He has a terrible cough that hurts and sounds awful. He can't sleep without taking NyQuil to suppress the cough. I am not able to take any medicine other than Tylenol for my headache, because I am breastfeeding the baby.

This wouldn't matter much because I am not nearly as sick as my husband, but I am not getting better because I am not getting sleep. Neither kid will sleep longer than 2 hours at a time, they take about 30-45 minutes to settle back down, and they usually end up waking in a staggered schedule that means I literally do not get to sleep the entire night. As soon as I lie down from getting one back to bed, the other will start crying. My husband will handle the toddler from 8-11pm, then takes NyQuil and doesn't wake up until after 10 the next morning. He is essentially dead to the world until he wakes up naturally. I am alone all night and morning with no sleep and two crying children. My mental health is tanked, to the point where I'm having intrusive suicidal thoughts for the first time in almost 10 years. I haven't had more than 90 minutes of sleep at a time in 5 days, and no more than 4 hours in a 24 hour period. I am incredibly lucky that I have unlimited sick time available at work.

My mom has been able to help us a couple of times when we were truly desperate, but she is disabled (and also has covid because she had my in-laws over for coffee while they were in town) and I don't want to ask too much of her because she truly can't spend that much energy on us without severe impact to her own health.

My husband will get no sleep without NyQuil. I won't get much more sleep since the baby only calms by breastfeeding, but if my partner handles the toddler wake ups I could get maybe an hour more sleep, and I wouldn't feel so alone.

Would I be the asshole if I ask him to stop taking NyQuil and we both so more or less sleepless?

INFO I couldn't fit in nicely but I can imagine people asking if this were a parenting circle: 1) he isn't a great help during the day already because he's sick. I'm doing most of the childcare and all of the cooking and cleaning during the day while he lays on the couch coughing. Him not getting sleep would not noticeably impact his daytime behavior. When we aren't sick, he is a stay at home parent and I work full time. 2) my baby is sick, this is not the time to sleep train her by letting her cry until she falls back to sleep. 3) My toddler up until this illness was excellent about putting herself back to sleep if she woke in the night. Now she is having nightmares and getting upset about her stuffy nose and crying at every little thing because she has sinus pain and doesn't understand it. She is too young to take decongestants and spits out any Tylenol we try to give her.

What are these acronyms?

[jaozendry]

"Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

Pairing: GN!Reader x Bucky Barnes

WARNINGS: mentions of self-harm

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Type: Angst

Summary: Bucky picks you up from school after you call him on the verge of self-harming. The two of you have to explain to the school staff that he's your boyfriend.

______________________________________________________________

"Hey, what's up? Aren't you at school right now? Bucky says after picking up his phone anxiously. You weren't feeling well when he dropped you off this morning and he was worried something might happen. Thankfully, nothing happened, at least, not yet.

"Hey, uh, are you busy?" you ask over the phone, your voice shaking. You're currently sitting in a bathroom stall, the period started over 10 minutes ago, but you couldn't bring yourself to walk out and go to class. You felt... hopeless.

"No, why? What happened? Bucky asks, concerned. Do you want me to pick you up?"

You sigh loudly, banging your head against the door softly, holding back tears.

"I want to do it. I'm in the school bathroom, I didn't do it yet but it's in my pocket-"

Bucky cuts you off immediately.

"Alright, I'm coming. Just don't do anything, got it? Bucky orders you while putting on his jacket. I'm coming, please, just... don't do it."

You thank him as he hangs up and cry silently while Bucky closes the door to your apartment to pick your pitiful self up from school.

______________________________________________________________

You still hide in the bathroom, washing your red eyes from all the crying when you receive a text from Bucky saying he's 2 minutes away. From the text, you finally gain the courage to walk out of the bathroom. You get ready and head for the main office.

Unsurprisingly, you see Bucky greeting the woman at the front desk. You run to your boyfriend and hug him with all of your might in front of the lady. Bucky smiles and reaches for his pocket.

"See, Y/N has a doctor's appointment in about 30 minutes. I'm sorry I didn't advise the school earlier."

The woman takes the paper and examines it.

"Unfortunately, I can't let you leave if I don't have proof you're their father."

Bucky reaches once again in his pocket and pulls out a fake ID. This is extremely convinient, as you haven't seen your father in years. The school hasn't registered his name in the system, so you are quite literally fatherless.

"It seems you aren't registered in the system, but we can do it now and you'll be free to go, she explains taping on her keyboard. It will take only a few minutes."

______________________________________________________________

After completing Bucky's registration, you two head for the car while holding hands.

"Thanks, you say softly while closing the door. I needed it."

You look at him and he holds your hand.

"I'm always here for you."

You look at his fake doctor's appointment tment and his fake ID.

"Richard Y/L/N?" you ask, giggling.

"There's that smile I was looking for, he says, caressing your cheek. Show me your arms."

You pull out your sleeves to reveal that it hasn't been cut at all. Bucky smiles proudly. He immediatly reaches for your right pocket to confiscate your pocket knife from you. You act offended, but deep down, you thank him. You lean your hand on his shoulder while he starts to car and whisper in his ear.

"Thanks, daddy."

[memberment]

good morning everyone!

I have ruined my sleep schedule. Someone save me LMAO

(10:00) as I reach the end of what I've written for morning glory, I grow tired. I need to take a nap. Will I finally finish this Fourth of July chapter today?? Perhaps.

But no one and I mean NO ONE is allowed to let me forget I need to incorporate the mostly bit at some point. Like there are so many canon refs in here it's SCARY. I NEED THE MOSTLY BIT IT IS MY FAVORITE CARTMAN BIT. NO ONE LET ME FORGET!

(6:11) this is my third good morning of the day, second on record good morning, first on record crying over my writing.

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE GONNA DIE I'M GONNA THROW UP

(I'm literally not okay I need to stop writing tragic creek)

(7:04) Guys I'm almost done with my morning glory reread and when I tell y'all I just nearly died from shock bc Craig casually mentioned he 'Doesn't believe in coincidences.' Like, it's such a benign statement but after WRITING his storyline in Genesis and randomly seeing something like that in the wild that I totally forgot about almost just took me out.

(10:20) Guys after I reread this Genesis chapter and code it I AM OFFICIALLY WORKING ON MORNING GLORY AGAIN LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO (This Fourth of July chapter will get finished tn I SWEAR TO HECK!!!!)

(And then I get to read my fav once its like 5am bc I can only read my fav fic at like 5/6 when the sun is just coming up and my room is perfectly cold and I'm almost ready to go to bed but not quite the vibe is JUST RIGHT here's to praying to the gods we don't believe in I get blessed with an early chapter(bc I have literally been trying to space them out and save them and sometimes I do get lucky and get to read two at once and it's literally the best istg))

(11:17) I forgot to reread said chapter and quit at some point but tell me how Morning went from 84.6 (?? ish) to 86.1k?? LIKE HELL YA LETS GOOOOO WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS!!!!

(11:29) It's not, like, haha funny, but I find it so painfully hilarious that I keep going back and forth between writing like fun wholesome dirty mountain kids figuring out life creek and then like them literally DYING for each other with the most gut wrenching dialogue surrounding it all. My brain needs to be studied, I fear.

(3:28) I just spent like the last 30 minutes being a fucking lunatic BACK TO MORNING GLORY!!! We're at 87.1k ... Which like, honestly, for me on hiatus??? I'm kinda impressed. Kinda proud of myself. (Not to mention the other shit I wrote that is not Morning Glory today, because I did write some of the most gut wrenching shit for Revelations just because I felt like writing angst LMAO)

(5:14) I know I've said this before. And I'll probably say it a million times. Jack stands on business and it's so FUCKING FUNNY. Like 'killing him won't solve anything'

'yeah but it'll feel good!'

LIKE OKAY DAMN LMFAOOOO

(6:27) and tonight I shut down with 89.7k

Which like, holy shit, yippie. 4th of July is done, they're doing powerpoint night, and I am just that much closer to being done with summer.

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

12/100 days of getting my life back together

Sunday, 14 July, 2024

I woke up at 7:30 something today! i took melatonin yesterday before sleep and it really helped. insane. my boyfriend was kind of advising me against the pack we ended up buying because he said those same ones gave him a headache back then, but i decided to yolo it anyway, and im so glad i did :D

the whiteboard at the start of the day:

and todays experiment with colors on my eyes makes me feel like a fairy crying glitter, lol

i did some yoga in the morning, HAD A NORMAL BREAKFAST, took the vitamins and im ready to rock the world HEHEHE

in the minimum tasks for today:

SE6

SE7

DB9 at least 30 slides

10:45 - 11:35 SE6 1-19/27

12:02 -12:30 finished SE6

then I was like oh. I'm going to take a break because I feel really tired and unmotivated. then I was like well maybe I should study something of my own interest. I ended up doing this until 13:24. help

the thing is, I feel really tired, but I guess I'm going to try my best not to fall asleep and laze around, because maybe it's just how it is, since I'm only in the first moments of recovering my sleep schedule.

15:35 - 16:00 DB9 1-12/100 16:06 - 16:35 DB9 12-17/100 17:15 - 18:09 DB9, started looking at our code, that needs saving

so, um, funny news - i am in trouble. i thought i had time until next week, turns out the deadline is tomorrow. so tonight and next day i will be screwing up my sleeping schedule again (after just barely getting it together) in order to get this assignment done and to have the pass to be able to take the exam. i need to fix some problems in our code and i, uh. i am not really happy about it, but there is nothing we can do. we must persist. i am going to go take a shower now and then get to work. wish me luck

20:03 - 20:46 i mixed the problem that was causing me the most headache. my mom called me literally right after i finished it

[cantstayawaycani]

Meeting Tenoch @ Comicpalooza Part Three

Sunday May 28 - THE AUTOGRAPH(s)

Today, Tenoch’s autograph sessions started early and I wanted to get there early. That way I would have the rest of the afternoon and then I could just hang out at the con if I wanted to.

I've got his book, and I have my picture. I wanted him to autograph my book, but I bring my picture just in case because I didn't know in the end which one I was gonna give him. I know he saw me with his book and I really wanted him to sign it, but I’m glad I put both in my bag, as you’ll see!

I stopped at the Starbucks that they have on site, because I saw that he had visited the Starbucks the day before and someone said they’d seen him. (Was that @milkfromcats?) I was thinking maybe on the off chance he goes to get himself a coffee? HA! But when I got up there, there were so many people, I was like “oh well there's no way he will come up here,” but I got my coffee and I got a breakfast sandwich. I was feeling energized and good by the time I went down to the photo area.

So I go and I talk to the attendant and I get in line. I see some of the other women that I had met at the panel and we're talking about all kinds of nerdy things.

All of a sudden, I'm so nervous! 

I got so nervous I had to start doing a few like breathing exercises just to calm myself down. This was surprising to me because the day before I felt more confident and I guess that was because I had that double shot of vodka.

But it was too early in the morning for me to drink anything like that; it was around 10:30 or 11 AM.

I'm nervous, I'm trying to breathe, I'm talking to the people in line about how great he is and everything and then we get told “OK it's time to go in!”

I’m thinking: “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” 

We're going through the line, and his autograph table was behind a curtain. Everybody else’s was out in the open, even William Shatner's. But for some reason, Tenoch’s autograph table was behind a curtain. I was like, OK great, some privacy! 

So when we went through, the girl who was sitting there scanning our barcodes saw I was nervous. She says “Don't be nervous, he's so sweet! When he came and introduced himself to us, he kissed both of my cheeks, and I was just like wow, he’s such a nice guy! So he's gonna be so sweet!”

I'm still trying to breathe and not cry, and manage to say “I know he's lovely, but I’m still so nervous!”

She saw that I had his book, and says “Oh he's gonna love that! He loves it when people bring his book! Not too many people bring his book, so this is gonna be great, don’t worry!"

I feel good about that, but my stomach is still in knots! She really did try to calm me down, but I was a lost cause. My anxiety got the better of me!

I get to the girl who writes my name on a little sticky note for him. I didn't know if I could tell her that I wanted him to personalize a message. I had no idea, so it was just my name. 

Now,  I'm like right in front of him and say again, “Hi Mr. Mejia, how are you?"

And he goes: “I'm good, Kenya, how are you?"

I say: “I don’t know, I'm nervous man!”

He laughs and looks up at me. He asks “No, why are you nervous?"

As he looks at me, that's when I remember to look at him, because he was finished signing my book. I said “because I just really wanted to meet you!” That’s literally ALL I could think to say at that moment in time.

Mind you, what’s running through my head is that he’s beautiful, but smaller in person. His eyes are BROWN and clear. His hair is PERFECT. He is biting his lower lip and then he licks them and he’s just looking at me very casually, waiting for me to speak and I cannot think of a SINGLE appropriate thing. I want to tell him how pretty he is, but that would be so wrong (in this setting).

Finally he kind of shrugs, or just lifts his shoulders and says “It’s OK, you are here. Thank you for being here!”

I’m thinking, I should be saying this to you!

But all I could manage was: “Thank you!"

He smiles again and says with a little nod “You’re welcome!”

And I take his book and just say “OK have a good day!”

He says “You have a good day too!”

And then I just …. left. I could not think of another word to say! When I tell you I had been up practicing what I was going to say to him! I was gonna tell him “I'm learning Spanish because of you.” 

I was gonna say “un poquito, para ti, poco a poca voy aprendiendo.” 

But I did not say those words (I’m kind of glad, because imagine me butchering Spanish in front of him?) so I just hightailed it out of there! When I got beyond the curtain, I was like “Holy shit!”

Then I went and I got my autograph authenticated.

Walking back to the hotel,  I was kind of disappointed. I was sitting in my hotel room and I was like “I'm not happy about that interaction.”

I felt disappointed in myself for not getting the words out of my mouth and for almost forgetting to look at him and take him in while I was standing in front of him.

So I was like “OK I'm gonna go back to the convention center, I can like hang around and see what's going on and maybe I can see him at some point,” you know?

When I got back to the convention center, it was almost time for his late afternoon session. I said ok let me go get another drink because the bars open. I go up to the bar and I swear I was just gonna get a regular vodka cranberry, but the bartender asked me “do you want a single or double?”

So I took another double vodka cranberry!

Now I don't advise this to everybody. It was just the one drink, but it was a double shot. Ultimately, it was fine. I certainly wasn't drunk or even what I would call tipsy. It just helped to loosen me up. 

As I'm walking around, it helped me decided to go up to the autograph booth to scope out my options. He was either on a break or taking pictures at that moment. I ask the attendant if they know if he's gonna come back and at first they couldn’t tell me or not. He could be doing pictures for the rest of the evening.

They tell me to check back, so I walk around some more. When I come back, they have put up a sign and it says he'll be back at 3:30.

So I finally decide then and there, I'm gonna buy another autograph!

I go eat something, and I go line up again. I see the same ladies that I had seen and hung out with at the panel.

They were like “yeah girl we got another one too," so I didn't feel bad! I was standing behind a Latino man who had bought 5 autographs and 2 pictures from Tenoch! That was a lot of money!

I didn’t feel too bad after that! In front of him, there were two Latina women who had got an autograph but the signature got wiped off, so they were going back through the line so that he could sign their picture again. So I was like OK I'm not the only one coming back through here, awesome!

I was determined to say something to him this time!

When they call us in, this time the person who's scanning the barcode is his translator I believe! She perks up when she sees me, like she recognized me (she had been sitting next to him the first time).

She says “Oh hi, back again?”

I say “Yes, I was nervous last time!”

She says “Please, don't be nervous! He is so happy to be here, don't be nervous!”

I say “I think I’m better now!”

I'm going through the line, they asked me again, do you want personalization? And I still only gave her my name.

The women who needed to get a redo because their signature got wiped off were in front of me and I stopped to talk to the marker guy and point at my picture to ask what's the best marker to use for this picture so it doesn’t rub off?

The marker man shows me one, but also says “you just have to make sure it dries before you put it back in the sleeve.” 

The marker man is standing right next to Tenoch. At this point now, Tenoch has noticed me and is looking at me talking to the marker guy.

So I turned to Tenoch and say “Oh I'm going to blow on this like my life depends on it so that it won't mess up!”

And Tenoch laughs!

He looks tired but, he’s very present.

I take a deep breath, smile and say “Hi Mr. Mejia, again!”

He says “Hello again Kenya!” 

I said “I came back because I was nervous the first time!”

He says “Thank you so much for coming back again!”

I say “You're welcome!”

While he’s signing, I say “OK, while you're doing that, let me tell you this: we love you, and we're proud of you! We don't know you, but we are proud of you! We love when you speak, we listen when you speak! When you speak, you make so many people so proud!”

 I pointed to his book in my bag again and I said: “I've been learning Spanish for you so I could read this! So I could understand your story and where you're coming from,”

At this point he’s looking at me again, and blinks and touches his heart. He smiles very warmly and does that little nod again.

He says “Thank you so much Kenya.”

I said “Thank you! It took me three months to work my way through the first three chapters of this book!" 

He laughs very quietly and puts his head down. When he looks back up at me, I say “You are a beautiful person and please keep doing what you're doing because you mean so much to me and others.”

He nods and says “thank you” again.

This time, I know I’ve said all I’ve dared to. So I say “OK I just needed to say that because I was nervous the first time.”

He was just like “It's OK!"

And then I was like, “OK have a good day again!” and he’s like “OK have a good day!”

So that's it!

I just booked it on out of there and as soon as I got beyond the curtain I was just like Oh My God! OK I did it! I did it! I went back through! 

I wasn't going to go back through; I wasn't even gonna come back to the convention center! I tell you man, soon as I get that double shot of vodka I was like “you know what Kenya, it's your 40th birthday, treat yourself! Get another autograph!"

So I did and I got a chance to actually speak to him and look him in the eyes and see him appreciate the words that I was telling him.

I will say, I think that he cannot really encourage conversation because then he would be spending too much time with one person, so he didn't say much. Also, his translator was on the other side of the table scanning people in for some reason.

I know he speaks English well, so he didn’t really need her. But I don't think he could say much to me because he could not prolong the conversation. He just expressed his appreciation and was telling me thank you and also for me to have a nice day and that was enough for me!

He is such a beautiful person and everybody around him, from the people that were working there at the convention center who were in charge of managing him all said he's wonderful. He kisses people on the cheeks, he gives hugs, he's just the nicest guy. 

I'm happy that I got to get his autograph. I'm happy that I got to take the picture. I'm happy that he saw my shoes. I at first kind of wish I had been able to tell him that the “Pretty Baby” shirt was for him, but actually it's a good thing that that is just my little inside pet name. He doesn't really need to know that, it's not for him, it's for me. 

All in all, it was a really great experience and I'm really happy that I did this for myself! And now I'm gonna go back home to Los Angeles and relive the memories gazing at my picture!

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

I had a rough week last week. Tuesday my dog gets sick, so I look up her symptoms. And bc I'm a crazy person, my mind automatically latched onto the worst possibility. So I spent three hours crying hysterically and having panic attacks bc I was so scared she would die. Then Wednesday I had to take my dog to vet and was still super stressed out. Thursday and Friday I have to deal with medicaid and disability paperwork. Saturday I had a panic attack so bad that I couldn't stop it and had to text my brother to come help me (he lives with me. we're too poor to live without a roommate, and we've basically lived together our whole lives, so it was whatever). Sunday morning I have a panic attack and can't leave my house to play my weekly dnd game bc the thought of spending hours with other people away from home was...bad. Sunday night, I got completely (and irrationally) terrified of being alone. I was so afraid that I called my mom, and of course she offers to come over. And I'm freaking out so bad I let her, even though it was late and I know she has to get up early for work. (She only stayed until my brother got back around 10:30)

BUT, today is a new day. I managed to get my blood work done today, and talk on the phone to my case worker, and pick up a pair of contacts from my eye doctor to wear until my order comes in. And I didn't have a panic attack. I mean, I still had to have my dad take me, bc leaving home alone isn't something I can do right now. (Mentally or physically. My brother's car broke down, and since he's the one who has a job, he's been using mine. i stg it's like a fucking family curse; every time someone is already in a financial bind, their car will break down.)

So I have decided to take the next few days to just relax. My two besties that I've been friends with since middle school both have kids with autism and they said I'm probably going through autistic burn-out. I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and my doctor thinks I'm somewhere on the spectrum, though on the lower support side. I'm gonna play bg3, and unwind. And try to work on some fic. (bc I have the next chapter of 16 Days damn near finished, and it's the last chapter that ties up the current plot, then there's an epilogue that takes place later that played out like a movie in my head, so writing it will be a breeze.)

Side note, did y'all know that some school systems still use 'high/low functioning'. I've had to say to my coworkers that autistic people would prefer not to use those terms. But it isn't surprising; one of my cousin's kids was literally diagnosed with Asperger's. Which has fallen under the autism spectrum disorder since like, forever ago. And also there was a TA in the autism classroom I worked in once who literally told me that autism was caused by demonic possession. I'm so glad I left the school system. Bc I eventually was going to fucking explode with rage after the way my kids were treated. (My students, not my actual kids. I don't have or want any)

Working in EC has really shown me how little the school system actually cares about helping the disabled; they will cut corners and do shit that 'technically' meets a kid's IEP, but doesn't do a damn thing to help them. And if you say something like, 'i don't think that counts' your coworkers will not be happy. But to a certain degree you can't be too mad, bc there is literally not enough time or resources to meet every child's needs, bc they cram as many kids in one EC classroom as possible, hire the minimum amount of TAs required by law and expect one teacher to be able to magically meet all their needs. My last job had 3 kids in wheelchairs in those tiny ass mobile units schools started using, that literally did not have room to move around, unless the other students stood up to let them get by, and sometimes even move their desk. We had multiple kids with autism. One of them stimmed by screaming, another was triggered by loud noises.

This post kinda went off on a tangent. Anyway, heads up to any parents who have kids starting school, make sure you get a copy of your child's IEP. If you think they aren't being serviced, contact your local Board of Education, and tell them that you have a child with an IEP who isn't receiving adequate services. Then threaten to sue them if they don't start providing your kid their services. It does not matter if you can actually afford to sue them or not, an IEP is a legally binding document. You have the right to sue, and most of the time the threat alone is enough to kick their ass into gear.

[awishmaster]

I'm... Gosh, I'm in shambles.

The GazettE has been part of my life for about 20 years now. I remember the first time I heard them, the first time I saw them and how it felt. In these 20 years, this band gave me friends, gave me personality, gave me solace. They're such an integral part of my adolescence, their music literally shaped me.

When my friend sent me a message today morning talking about Reita's passing, I felt numb. That numbness that you feel when you get a punch because of the shock. I've been crying the entire day. It feels as if I lost a close friend. It hurts so bad. Even my mom cried when I told her, because she gave known them for so long too. All of my friends, the ones I made because of the band, have the same numbness feeling, doing things automatically now. We're all well over our 30s, but it feels as if we lost part of ourselves.

I hope he knew how loved he was. I hope he knew there's an entire generation worldwide that grew up with them and that feels empty now. I hope whatever was hurting him this bad is finally over and he can rest and be at peace.

I can only hope that Ruki, Uruha, Aoi and Kai can feel our love and find a bit of comfort in this.

Truly, it's hard to accept. It hurts. And I feel anger, wondering if there could have been anything I could've done, although I know there isn't.

To all the fans, all the sixth guns, new and old, I feel you. I hope we can ease the pain somehow. Please, remember you're not alone.

Reita, "da faixinha", thank you so much for being part of my life for all these years. I'll never forget the honour of watching you life, over 10 years ago. And I regret not going back in 2019, that years was horrible and I always thought I'd have another chance. Thank you for everything. I hope you're in peace now 💜🥀

[trashyandtiredsol]

for the ask game you reblogged from me:

28, 29 and 30!! >:D

Decided to answer these now SO- uhhh

28. Hugs or Hand-Holding?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- irl I'm not really comfortable enough with anyone I know to say hugs or even half holding- HOWEVER online with almost everyone I've met on here I'd say both or one or the other depending on how comfortable I am with that person and if they're comfortable with hugs or hand holding or not-

For example with you C00kie I'd say one or the other depending on my mood and which one your comfortable with :3

29. Morning, Afternoon, or Night?

Hmmmm I'm thinking night time- it's the time where I'm more active in working on art- and is literally the time when I set aside time before bed to work on art for around an hour or 2

So ye night time around a few or less hours before I go to bed- which is around 10 ish most nights or a little earlier or later depending on if I'm bored or tired enough to sleep earlier or not bored or tired enough so I stay up till around 11 ish or after.

30. What Reminds You of Home? Doesn't have to mean house- just what reminds you of the feeling of home.

Safety- basically the first thing I thought of when I say the ask game thing- but then there's also comfort- like being comfortable enough to cry ((((plus if I have a partner and to consider them home like to me Id wanna be comfortable enough to cry in front of them- which at this point has never occurred with anyone :P )))) and sing along to music and just be more weird and more me I guess- which is basically whenever I'm alone at home and everyone's out 😅

I think there's probably more- I just don't wanna think about it more rn since I'm gonna go to bed now

Aaaaannd I believe that's all!! Ty for the ask c00kie I liked thinking about these :3

[ssilentcharlie]

my thoughts on episode 18 as a whole, because i have SO MANY thoughts.

(btw none of this will be coherent because it's 08:30 in the morning and i'm a little pissed off)

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

the emergency:

10/10. that was SO fucking good. Athena finding Bobby made me tear up because that's what i wanted to happen. having the heart of a champion kid (well, adult now) help save Bobby was amazing. Maddie being all the call and being a massive help despite practically her entire family being the 118, Buck taking charge. it was just all around a good emergency.

the characters storylines i need a moment for because... hmm

Henren:

fucking adore it. the fostering thing is going well, Denny seems happy, both Hen and Karen are also happy with the little people running around their house. AND A BABY GIRL, you don't understand how happy i am for them. their storyline is just incredibly wholesome and i have no bad things to say about it.

Madney:

they're so excited to get married, i love them so much. a wedding at home is the cutest idea, i love it soo much. i have nothing bad to say about my beloveds this episode or season, they had a really good season.

Buck and Eddie, apparently a part for the first time in all of 6b:

Buck helping deliver the baby and get Connor and Kameron back was something i actually liked and wanted so that was good. Natalia being there wasn't but i guess she helped so thanks babes.

Christopher telling Eddie to ask out Marisol... bullshit. i call fucking bullshit. not for Buddie either, for Eddie. does Christopher not remember the last time his Dad tried to date a woman? because i highly doubt that's something you can forget (btw i like Marisol, she seems really sweet, but i want her to end up being what Stevie was to David in Schitts Creek, if that makes any sense)

Buck and Natalia... nope. just nope. again, not even for Buddie, FOR BUCK. he deserves better than someone who only took interest in him because he died. literally give him someone who loves Buck for Buck and will always love Buck for Buck.

also the couch theory, and the Buckley-Diaz family being a focal point this season... you just threw that away... i'm not even going to get angry about that right now because i want to collect coherent thoughts about it.

it felt lazy AGAIN and Buck and Eddie don't deserve that. once again, they don't deserve it SEPARATELY.

ending with my Mum and Dad, Bathena:

LOVED IT. Athena saving Bobby, being there for him, it made me cry.

THEY GOT THEIR HONEYMOON! FINALLY! Mum and Dad deserve the break (i am terrified that's how they'll start s7 but that's s7's problem)

overall it was a solid episode, as always. not one of my favourites but definitely one of my favourite season finale big rescues (nothing is topping the shooting at this point)

[nelly-wants-to-b-skinny]

I've been wanting to do this but I'll just do it all together :)

1. weight- 185, chest- 41.2, waist-34.0, hips-44.0, thighs- 28.0

2. 5'5, yes im totally okay with my height tbh

3. we have a very similar body type so i feel like it's the most realistic for me

4. tbh just losing my dd boobs that's it.

5. im tired of being the big and ugly friend, i owe it to my young chubby self to finally be pretty.

6. define binge lol. to me if I eat normally i define that as binge. but tbh I don't think I actually binge idk.

7. yes they do, however they don't know how far I'm willing to go. but they don't. they're actually happy I am.

8. i would do cardio 3 times a week, and then do core 2 times a week, but now im doing chloe ting workouts so :))

9. 100% all the time, I've hears it ever since grade school tbh, and it's literally ruined who I am and my relationship with food.

10. i guess my love for baking, it's been really hard baking for my friends and family and not having the opportunity to have these things yk.

11. lol i don't have one hahaha.

12. hmm that's a good question, i usually stick to fruits i try to stay away from meat and dairy, however it's not always easy. but for a good day, I'll have my black coffee in the morning and then like a garden salad in the afternoon.

13. definitely unhealthy lmao, I will starve myself until I lose as much weight as I can.

14. 120lbs, it used to be 140 but that's how much my sis weighs and I wanna be smaller than her

15. I'm neither but I seriously am considering going vegetarian bc I didn't eat meat for 3 days and lost literally 7lbs so I just might.

16. I've always tried to lose weight, yk go on a diet, work out, however this year I realized I was going to go on vacation and I needed to look pretty for my pictures so I decided to go back to my old habits and I triggered my ed, it took some time like 2 months until eventually in the end of March I started thinking the same way once again. I would starve and calculate calories.

17. im not sure. I don't want to say yes since I'm not diagnosed, but I will say I have disordered eating 100%.

18. cheese. ik ppl are gonna scream, but I love it so much lol.

19. hmm actually a while back I think like a couple weeks ago maybe I month.

20. ballerina diet ahhh or maybe the iu diet.

21. triggered. lol I'm usually a L/XL for jeans I'm a 14. bra size is 38DD.

22. damn idk bruh, I remember when I used to be 160, that's the lowest number I can remember, that's when I started weighing myself and it ruined me. I don't remember gaining weight tbh, I think it was when I was recovering.

23. absolutely. growing up I watched eugenia a lot and i loved kpop in ms so I would always wonder what it would be like to be skinny like them.

24. uh i don't like them, but that's me personal. I'm not someone to encourage this illness to someone else.

25. yes. I've done it multiple times. my first time was at a party actually. I had eaten 3 slices of pizza and my stomach hurt rlly bad I had told my friend and she told me she'd find me laxatives or smth I told her no. so I hard searched up what to do and I found a reddit form about purging I did exactly that and threw up as much as I could. it was so bad I was crying bc I felt to bad but my stomach felt better. I think that's when I realized I could enjoy my food but also not consume calories.

26. CLOTHES. finally getting to wear what I want and look pretty no matter what. ugh I can't wait.

27. i try to slip into a mentality of like food isn't fuel it's trash, and it's gonna make you rot.

28. I'd love to, i want to lose as much thigh fat as possible I don't think i could think bc of my family genes

29. anything but me. I don't think beauty can be defined. to me beauty is a subjective what is beautiful to me is not beautiful to you.

30. im hispanic. i have curly hair. im bi. i have a gf. i like to bake. i can't swim. i have insomnia. i have social anxiety. i love kpop. coffee is my bsf.

[kelsendeavor]

Alright, I really don't want to work on these essays anymore, so this is a brain break to share The Fuckshit.

Job Stuff: Company A got back to me to say that the absolute earliest I can interview with the studio head is Wednesday, and though they hope to have decisions this week, it may bleed into next. Obviously, this is not ideal because Company B (didn't hear back from what I was calling Company B, so the previous Company C is Company B again) wants me to respond to their offer by tomorrow. I tried to reach out for them to push for more time and they shot me RIGHT the fuck down and told me they needed to move on if I can't make a call tomorrow, so I guess that settles that. I have to sign on and hopefully not burn too many bridges, especially with Ellie, if Company A does hire me if I have to pull out. Fuck this uncertainty, fuck this bullshit, fuck this industry for robbing all the possible joy out of what could be a dream come true. Fuck.

School Stuff: Realized, with 9/10 of my essays for SC1 written, that what I had thought were word maximums were actually character maximums. Because I'm a stupid fucking piece of shit. It explains a lot, but basically requires re-writes, which absolutely sucks eggs. But I've now got three of them done (the new one I wrote to the word count, plus two more) and am on track to finish the next seven over the next two days without too much slowdown. But still, fuck. I planned for this to be a light work day and was planning to spend the afternoon watching a dang movie.

Assorted Pluses and Minuses: Minus, I am, indeed, sick with what appears to be a fairly mild cold, but still a cold. Plus, I took my Zep for the first time in a month and I feel it working but not making me sick, hooray! Minus, holy fuck, the election stress. Plus, I got my vote in the mail! Every ballot counts, or whatever, even though it doesn't. I just have to hope for the best. Minus, Oscar is barking his head off for literally no reason and I'm trying not to walk him again until 4:30 to get him on board with Daylight Savings Time. Another minus, Daylight Savings Time. Plus, The Penguin was so good and made me cry this morning. Sofia Falcone, I'd do anything for you. Minus, it feels very much like she's set up to lose in the end, and if that's handled poorly, it will ruin the whole show for me. Plus, I get to go back to my house tonight (!!!) and watch Justified with my friends (!!!!!). Minus, it'll take me a full fucking hour to get there, if I'm lucky.

Minuses are winning today. They will probably win every day until all of this chaos is over-- I'm settled in a job, my grad school apps are done, I'm back home with the dogs out of my care, the election is over (ideally with the right winner), I have money, and can get eight hours of sleep a night.

I can get there. I know I can. I just have to hold on and muddle through.

[sophie-soliloquy]

Alright, I really don't want to work on these essays anymore, so this is a brain break to share The Fuckshit.

Job Stuff: Company A got back to me to say that the absolute earliest I can interview with the studio head is Wednesday, and though they hope to have decisions this week, it may bleed into next. Obviously, this is not ideal because Company B (didn't hear back from what I was calling Company B, so the previous Company C is Company B again) wants me to respond to their offer by tomorrow. I tried to reach out for them to push for more time and they shot me RIGHT the fuck down and told me they needed to move on if I can't make a call tomorrow, so I guess that settles that. I have to sign on and hopefully not burn too many bridges, especially with Ellie, if Company A does hire me if I have to pull out. Fuck this uncertainty, fuck this bullshit, fuck this industry for robbing all the possible joy out of what could be a dream come true. Fuck.

School Stuff: Realized, with 9/10 of my essays for SC1 written, that what I had thought were word maximums were actually character maximums. Because I'm a stupid fucking piece of shit. It explains a lot, but basically requires re-writes, which absolutely sucks eggs. But I've now got three of them done (the new one I wrote to the word count, plus two more) and am on track to finish the next seven over the next two days without too much slowdown. But still, fuck. I planned for this to be a light work day and was planning to spend the afternoon watching a dang movie.

Assorted Pluses and Minuses: Minus, I am, indeed, sick with what appears to be a fairly mild cold, but still a cold. Plus, I took my Zep for the first time in a month and I feel it working but not making me sick, hooray! Minus, holy fuck, the election stress. Plus, I got my vote in the mail! Every ballot counts, or whatever, even though it doesn't. I just have to hope for the best. Minus, Oscar is barking his head off for literally no reason and I'm trying not to walk him again until 4:30 to get him on board with Daylight Savings Time. Another minus, Daylight Savings Time. Plus, The Penguin was so good and made me cry this morning. Sofia Falcone, I'd do anything for you. Minus, it feels very much like she's set up to lose in the end, and if that's handled poorly, it will ruin the whole show for me. Plus, I get to go back to my house tonight (!!!) and watch Justified with my friends (!!!!!). Minus, it'll take me a full fucking hour to get there, if I'm lucky.

Minuses are winning today. They will probably win every day until all of this chaos is over-- I'm settled in a job, my grad school apps are done, I'm back home with the dogs out of my care, the election is over (ideally with the right winner), I have money, and can get eight hours of sleep a night.

I can get there. I know I can. I just have to hold on and muddle through.

[memberment]

The End Is Near Updates??? (Let's fucking go, I guess???)

ALRIGHT WELL

All of my plans to get shit done before school starts continue to swirl the drain as I am full immersed in this rewrite.

I have decided to use headers and make this a single work because honestly I did not want to keep it a series so I figured it out

Also I'm at the end of book one. And SOBBING. I forgot Clyde and Kenny get married in the first round. This was literally the first fic I ever wrote them in like I'm screaming. This fic was my rare pair origin story lowk LMFAOOO like between them and butters/bebe like ugh.

My first book one was like just under 18k and I am currently slowly omw to 22k, like I am right there.

So it's looking like I'm just gonna be belting out monster-illiad length fics for a while with fun little sprinkles of 30/40ks

someone call god, tell him I need intense emotional support because the urge to post another chapter is already creeping up on me and it's been less than 24 hours. I CANNOT FALL INTO THIS SAME FUCKING TRAP AGAIN. Like I just assumed if I reworked an old fic I would throw it on post schedule and contain the same amount of self restraint that I do with my other fics but the literal worms in my brain are like *dont be shy post like 17 chapters in two hours* LIKE WHAT.

Excuse me, I'm busy being insane bc I have literally been up since three (it could have been 1:30, but I honestly can't recall) this morning LMFAO.

9:07 pm update: I took a nap to try and reduce the pure insanity I was dealing with it and I just opened my google doc and realized I'm about to start book 2. GUYS. Book two was by far my absolute fucking favorite. Like, I loved book 2. Frankly, want to make everything else feel more like book 2 bc AHHHHH IT WAS MY FAVORITEEEEE IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS LMFAO

10:07: I just want you guys to know I reread Craig's chapter, yes his chapter, bc he now longer gets a little separated paragraph, but a chapter, and Heart to Heart came on and I started crying. And then proceeded to reread Tweek's end chapter and We'll Meet Again came on and I'm actually ready to throw up LMFAOOOOOO

(I wrote them before I went to sleep and I had to make sure they read well and blah blah whatever and now I'm just SAD. But also, what the fuck did I expect? This is what happens when you write a sad story with happy little stickers on it and a main character who despite everything wants nothing more than to be optimistic.)

9:18pm hi guys I am on my way home and yall are gonna HEAR IT IN MY END NOTES TONIGHT HOLY SHIT I GAVE TO PROOFREAD DANDELION I AM REALIZING THIS AS I TYPE IM GONNA BE SICK

anyways

I am here to rant bc I was just talking about it DOES ANYONE ELSE dislike when Bebe is portrayed as like an angel or like the opposite end of the spectrum and like straight up mean

LIKE I JUST WANNA SEE HER GIRLBOSS AND PEOPLE DO NOT WRITE HER LIKE THAT ANYMORE CAN I PLS GET SOME SUPER DYNAMIC GIRLBOSS BEBE RECS LMFAOOOOO