#I'm kind of in shock
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Rereading Check, Please! rn (go read it if you haven't, it's a fucking work of art) and wdym the providence falconers aren't a real team. WDYM NGOZI???? I suddenly get into real life hockey and now I realize that they AREN'T REAL? The LIES smh
#check please#ngozi ukazu#jack zimmermann#providence falconers#fictional hockey gays#I'm kind of in shock#I knew samwell was fictional and so were the aces#but for some reason I thought the falconers were a real team#in hindsight I was an idiot#but alas#disaster rambles
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Happy Anniversary to Snowbaz
It's kind of cool, actually.
See, the rough draft for The Haunting of Simon Snow (1st chapter up on AO3) is now complete. As of a half hour ago or so.
On their smoochy-smooch anniversary. I'm kinda stupid sentimental about it, but I didn't plan it that way. Just happened.
#happy anniversary#snowbaz#wip update#snowbaz fanfic#happy christmas eve#simon snow#baz pitch#I'm kind of in shock#also this fic is#maybe going to kill me#during editing#but this is still quite exciting#there's a beginning and a middle AND an end
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I think it's over.
We'll know for sure when grades come out on Monday. But I think ... I think I can start relearning how to be a person again.
#amy rambles#amy's to do list#catholic university of america#cua#musicology#music major#i'm on the train now#when i get home i'm going to flop onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling for a little bit i think#i'm just kind of#wow#i don't even know#i'm kind of in shock#and there are some other things feeding into that too but i'll unpack those later#right now i just want the tangible evidence that i can say goodbye to this chapter of my life#because it could have been worse#but i was hoping it would be better#so
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... I failed my master's thesis...
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LET THE BOY HAVE AN EDUCATION
officially at the point where we're starting to see where it's all headed and I am just going NYEEHEEHEE in delight at it all. ahhh...next week can't come soon enough...
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#leona: (devises an actually somewhat clever plan to take out the staff-puppets without breaking any rules)#leona: (taken out two seconds later because he sat down in the wrong place)#at this point i'm half expecting the ssr boys to actually bust in with a big sandwich platter or something#a cake with 'please don't kidnap people :)' written on it in shaky icing#kalim isn't good at plans but he DOES throw a good shindig and by god he's going to play to his strengths#also IT WASN'T SHINY TICKETS IT WAS GIDEL?!#MY BOY#MY BEAUTIFUL MAGICAL FELINE BOY#i mean i'm assuming at this point but that seems to be the implication#genuinely kind of shocked that they actually WERE being magicked into being extra gullible#it was ✨foreshadowing✨ all along...#the blot though! what about the blot!#is that going to be an issue or are we going to have enough to deal with already!#i have rocketed from 'i find these villains entertaining' to 'i am suddenly incredibly invested in them as characters'#LOOK there is one thing better than characters with sort of unhealthy codependent relationships#and that is characters with sort of unhealthy codependent relationships but TWIST IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU THINK#nyeeheeheeeeeee
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16Oct24
He took the stage first, just a boy, Now the first one to leave, just a boy. Nothing’s right, hearts are torn, For Liam, we mourn — Knowing Payne means we got to know joy.
#rest in peace liam#liam payne#i'm just so profoundly sad#anne's post moved me from shock to sorrow#be kind to yourself#be kind to others#except simon cowell he can and will rot in hell#just ... fuck#grief is neither linear nor logical#we can love and mourn flawed people#we're grieving the loss of who he was and what he was to us#as well as the loss of his unrealized future#i hope he is at peace#i hope those he hurt can find peace#i hope those that hurt him are haunted by this the rest of their days
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HI, YES, SO, I NEARLY CRIED IN PUBLIC UPON SEEING THIS IN MY DMS YESTERDAY AND I'M STILL NOT OKAY A DAY LATER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖
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It shouldn't need to be said, but if you're obsession with an actor (or any artist) runs so deep that you're willing to dismiss that person participating in a movie that's entire premise is rooted in far right extremist conspiracy theories and espouses antisemitic dog whistles, maybe you need to reevaluate your obsession.
And if you watch that movie and your first post about it is "this movie is deeply unserious" you're a fucking problem. I don't care how bad the movie is, pretending it's anything but far right extremist propaganda is fucked up.
#I'm fucking fuming about this shit#it's genuinely scary#it wouldn't shock me if this shit put some people on the alt right pipeline#I'm so tired of people dismissing this kind of stuff just because it doesn't match with the fiction YOU created about an actor#that you've never met
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youtube
Oh, so when IIIII make the "mutual" joke it's delusional, but when Hoyo makes it--
(Actually, since that Youtube end card tried to gatekeep it, here's Ratio's tsuntsun sweatdrop as he tries to think up a good excuse for going on TV to talk about some guy he's definitely not "friends" with:)
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#ratiorine#aventio#raturine#guys I think#I think we just got served actual ship tease#like very#very#very intentional#ship tease#HOYO PERCEIVES US#I'm kind of shocked#this was significantly more blatant *wink wink nudge nudge* than I ever thought this ship would get#I don't know what to do with all this power we've been given...#I'm telling you guys#they're going to be married before Bronya and Seele can even get that first date#HSR devs out here like “And they were gay”#the Genshin writer responsible for Alhaitham and Kaveh is quaking with anger#Youtube
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do you really think you're the victim in this situation? children are being bombed every day, do you think they're less human than you?
Children are bombed every day? Wow. Shocking. I had no idea.
(One of my first memories is the sound of explosion, and the way my home shook. I was seven.)
I don't think others are, as you put it, "less human" then me. But apparently YOU seem to think that way.
See, all I do is writing about *my* experiences, and things that actually have a matter to my own life. So yes, I'm self-centric.
You, on the other hand?
Completely unrelated to the situation. Yet, all you have to do is to complain about.... what exactly? That I share my fears, and pain, and struggles? That I have PTSD? That I'm alive?
But again, I shouldn't be surprised. If "not talking" about something is bc you think they aren't human.
Well.
(Your attempt to silence me says it all.)
~
(ID1: sky with smoke-dots. Those dots are missiles. I took this photo from my home.)
(ID2: a newborn on window pane. Screenshot from news.)
This is 10 days old Kay. His parents hid with him as their house was burnt and their friends and family were murdered. When the shooting got quiet, they opened the door of the smoke-filled room and placed him on the window pane to let him breathe. Then, when the shooting got back to the area, they closed the door and got back to pretend to be dead.
(When I was 17, I hugged my 4 yo sister under my grandma's staircase, as we waited for the explosion.)
א.ט. *אזעקה מוקלטת*
This is me and some of my neighbours on a usual day.
Now, this is pretty old - my area, personally, wasn't bombed in a while.
The area I grew up in, where some of my family still lives, can't say the same.
But hi, it's all depending on the context, as was said.
Not like I'm human or anything.
#anon#more like#QAnon#Anon? May you'll have airsirens during the shower#and step on a lego piece while running for shelter#antisemitism#blunt antisemic#why don't you talk about other people's pain?? aren't they human??#says the person who immediately dismisses my pain#i guess I'm not human#btw#anon - i don't know if you've heard about this new concept. but apparently MULTIPLE people can suffer at the same time#and MULTIPLE people can deserve kindness and sympathy.#even people you disagree with!#shock#i know#what a progressive mindset#useful idiots#hate anon#psy reply#psy is pissed#what's new#אזעקה#אינעל דינק#educate yourself#jumblr#דע מה שתשיב#israel
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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WE PLAY THE SAME KEYS AT DIFFERENT TIMES — r. kaji.
cw: 18+ mdni, f! reader, car sex, spit. wc: 0.8k a/n: unedited. thought about him on my drive home. enjoy.
You and Kaji can’t ever just listen to music in the car together.
He really never intended for it to be like this at first— but once it happened the first time, it’s all he could think of the next time he got in his car. It’s the same every time; inviting you for a ride to listen to a tune that’s stuck in his head, one he claims he can’t get rid of until he hears it again. But with him, it can never just be one song. There are too many that make him think of you these days, despite his best efforts to press skip on those in particular.
He drives around until night falls, and you’ve both shared everything you’ve had on repeat this week. As he pulls onto the highway, the low vibration of his car picking up speed thrums against your thighs, much like the guitar blaring through his speakers. The low light of the city falls on his hands as he steers with practiced motion, heel of his palm flat against the leather. Warm yellow light trails along the veins on his arms, dragging your gaze wherever it touches. It highlights the rim of his features for a split second, long enough to see the way he side eyes you.
He lets out a huff, leaning back against the headrest to hide in the dark, though it’s futile. As he whirrs past the overheads, the light guides your gaze to his thighs, spread lazily even with one foot on the gas, and up, up, up to…oh. It’s only a second that you see it before light rushes past, and you wait on the next street light to illuminate him. It takes its time, stretching slowly over the same path, fingertips to forearms to biceps. A flit of your eyes down, and the car leers onto the exit ramp, light changing its course and missing the bulge of his cock entirely.
The both of you huff for different reasons, you in disappointment, and him in relief. Not that you can hear each other over the music, anyway.
You spend the rest of the ride bopping your head along and picking up your phone to add songs you like to your own playlist. He’s grateful that there aren’t as many street lamps on the route to your place, so you miss the poorly hidden smirk that plays on his lips.
Pulling into your driveway, he thumbs at his wheel to turn the music down just as that one song comes on. The one you fucked to the first time he did this; the reason he keeps inviting you to do this. He pauses, sighing, and turns it back up again. You tense, thighs crossing as you hear the click of his seatbelt and squeak of the leather as he reaches over to click yours, too.
Kaji’s breath always comes out ragged— grits his teeth and hisses through them even as his chest heaves for more oxygen. He’s got you bouncing on his cock in his backseat, guiding you to some extent, rough grip on your hips because he really can’t find it in himself to be gentle. Not when you move so perfectly you hit every goddamn beat.
You’re the perfect melody to him— he has half a mind to lean forward and turn the music down in favor of the sound of you. Ass clapping against his thighs, wet squelching from between yours, breathy moans and gasps and keens. He wishes he could isolate every salacious layer of sound— to savor it, ingrain it into his memory to replay over and over.
The beat of the song slows, just before he knows it’ll build up again. He takes the break to wrap an arm around your waist, effectively slowing the motion of your hips. You whine as he forces you to grind your clit against him, and he hums, captivated.
Using his free hand, he twirls his fingers through your hair, wrapping the strands around to get enough hold to pull you forward, the abruptness ripping a gasp from you. Perfect. Twisting his lips up, he tilts his head forward, letting a glob of spit travel past his lips and drip down onto your awaiting tongue as he plants his feet firm on the ground. With all the leverage in the world, he bucks his hips up into you as the beat picks up again, the heavy weight of his thrusts knocking the air from your lungs.
It gets hard to move when you squeeze around him, ticks him off that you’re slowing down his rhythm. He just wants to give you what you deserve and you’re always holding him back with that fucking grip of yours. At least, he thinks, you’re giving him a chance to readjust his hips, so he can hit that spongey spot inside you until the song closes out, until all that’s left is the sound of your shared panting.
#kaji ren x reader#kaji x reader#windbreaker x reader#btw you're the tune stuck in his head. if that shit wasnt obvious#him listening to rock music in canon is sooooo yummy to me#i love fucking men who have my taste in music#anyway#if anyone is interested in the song i had in mind#i wanna firstly say that i'm kind of shocked that i wrote this for kaji and not endo#bc i have always heavily associated this song with endo#and is the song i used when i made the theme for this blog#um. so kind of betrayal and my heart hurts about it a little bit.#but anyway. bleed me an ocean by acid bath.#specifically#warning emo music lol#4:50-5:41 is reader bouncing on it with perfect rhythm#(and no they did not have sex for less than a minute im just talking bout the rhythm babyyyyy)#5:42-5:50 is the spit in reader's mouth#and then the rest is him jackhammering!!!!!!#:)#love u all.#in memoriam — ♱#haunts — kaji ♱
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mdzs twitter is a very funny place to be on cause someone will have "canon dynamics only" in their bio and proceed to have the worst take on canon you've ever seen
#complaining and whining about fandom#i'm ngl as someone who came into this having primarily been in fandoms of non romance focused media before#it was kind of culture shock to see 'canon' being used to mean who tops and who bottoms instead of... actual characterization#or engagement with a work's thematic core#i almost tweeted this but statistically i have less of a chance to get jumped for this on tumblr#LITERACY CHECK: I AM NOT SAYING ANYONE WHO PREFERS CANON SHIPS AND KINKS IS BAD#I am saying me and these people have a fundamental difference in what we think is most important about 'canon' as a concept
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HEY guess who's being completely normal about episode 7 :)
anyway it sure ain't me, so I made myself a baby Malleus! I used the single-headed version of Choly Knight's hydra pattern (link will be in replies ↓↓↓) as a base, and just messed with some of the pieces to make him more Mall-y. including sewing all those little claw pieces, then pinning them on and realizing I actually liked him better without them...oh well. to heck with accuracy, I want stubby little dragon legs!
unfortunately, he doesn't photograph very well, especially his forehead scales (they're there! I promise!) (they're made of glitter HTV so they are actually SPARKLY in real life, yet apparently they come out completely invisible in photos, woe). but he is super cuddly and soft so I'm happy with him! just as in canon, he is a product of LOVE. :>
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#toys#sewing#i impulse-bought the pattern the second i saw it and then couldn't work up the motivation to actually make it :')#until i realized how easily it could be malleus-ified#score one for hyperfixations!#(i gotta make the full version at some point though it's pretty incredible)#i will say that turning this beast after sewing was an experience. oof.#but he made it! and he turned out honestly way better than i thought he would#(don't look at my embroidery i-i'm still learning okay)#i'm kind of in shock at how well the topstitching came out out considering i...literally just drew lines in the plush with a pin...#and then stitched over them while trying not to erase them#hey if it works it works
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Sup.
#jade claymore#a little sketch to assure you my obsession for Willow is still on point#I just realized that to be better at drawing i have to go back to drawing a lot#shocking i know#moved by some kind of spring force I've started a comics course that is making me draw even more#i even had my hair cut today and I'm not having a meltdown so the hope is high you guys#i still have a bachelorette party to organise that has been a background stress for months but beside this big hopes you guys big hopes#anyway#my stuff
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