#I'm just very off putting and unlovable I guess

[rexstorm]

Man I just realized something. Just thought about things making me happy and I went huh I don't really feel happy that often or easily. Like even when I'm not super depressed like I'm right now. Last year when I was doing actually good for maybe the first time in my life or something I still didn't feel like a happy person. I wasn't being negative or anything but I was really neutral I guess. Idk if I'm making any sense. I get happy about the things I like but also kinda not. Idk how to explain that. But I'm shocked because I went huh I never realized I just don't feel happiness "normally" I guess. Which makes it even worse when people are put off by my attitude or just the way I am. I'm just not a happy person and it should be okay but people just seem to think it's a deal breaker or something. Like I get it when people don't stick around when I'm in a full blown crisis mode and having a really bad depressive episode but I don't get ditching me for not being outwardly happy all the time. Or at all. Idk there's many reasons why people don't stick around but it's just a bummer I can't just exist without putting off people around me.

[j-onedrabbles]

𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒕. 𝟐

✧   PAIRING: HYUNJIN X GN!READER X FELIX ✧   CW: FEELING UNLOVED, CRYING, DRAMATIC HYUNJIN, POLICE MENTIONED ✧   WC: 1K ✧   NOTE: part 1; for those that were waiting for prt 2, here you are!

     Something seemed off when Felix woke up. Hyunjin was still fast asleep next to him, very typical. He wasn’t gonna be waking up anytime soon. But he was missing a partner. 

     Felix got out of bed and checked the kitchen and living room. No Y/n. He checked around their home. No Y/n. 

     He grabbed his phone from the room and dialed their number. It rang a few times but went to voicemail. 

     “Hey babe. I was just calling to check on you. You’re probably at work but you weren’t here when I woke up. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Call me or text me when you have a minute. I love you.”

     Felix ended the message and put his phone away and went to cook breakfast. 

     Y/n stared at the notification on their screen. One voicemail from Felix. They should listen to it but they couldn’t bring themselves to. Their friend was the one that listened and relayed the message. 

     Y/n felt a little bad for not leaving a note or anything. But that wouldn’t fix the distance. Ignoring it was for the best. Maybe the two would forget about them altogether. 

     It was about three or four hours later Hyunjin started texting them. 

Hyune❣️: Hey. I noticed some of your stuff missing in the drawers, did you go on a trip and not tell us?                Are you okay? Felix and I haven't heard from you all day and you didn't say much last night.                Your locations off… is everything okay hun?

     Y/n looked at the messages as they popped up on the screen. Their friend had gone to work so now they were left to deal with their own situation. Felix’s contact took over their screen again. Y/n let it ring before a voicemail popped up a few moments later

     “Hey, love. If you can just let hyune or me know you are okay, we’d appreciate it. we love you, I hope you know that?”

     Felix’s voice sounded so worried. They only guessed Hyunjin was on the verge of calling the police to find them. Y/n sighed and dialed Felix’s number. He picked up on the first ring. 

     “Are you okay?” He asked 

     “I’m fine, Felix. I'm at a friend's house.” Y/n said, playing with the throw blanket 

     “What’s going on, love? It’s not like you to be M.I.A for half a day.”

     “Did they pick up?!” Hyunjin yelled 

     “It’s nothing. Just staying at a friend's house.”

     Y/n was trying not to break down. Hearing both boys so worried made their stomach drop and tears threaten to fall. 

     “Is it something we did?” Felix asked 

     “No,” the voice crack set them off

     “Come home, please. Let’s all sit down and talk, yeah?” 

     Felix was tough to actually say no to. Especially when he was sad. He was someone no one wanted to see upset. It was by no means of him trying to manipulate, he just had soft heart and a lot of emotions. Everyone around them hated seeing Felix upset.

     Y/n thought for a moment before telling both the boys they were on their way home and they’d see them soon. Both reassured them that they loved them before hanging up.

     Y/n grabbed their belongings and let their friend know where they were going before getting in the car and heading back to the apartment they shared with the two idols. Felix and Hyunjin waited pretty impatiently. Trying to figure out why Y/n would have left without saying anything. 

     All thoughts came to a halt when the two heard the door open. Felix was the first to rush, crying a little when he saw Y/n was back and okay. He couldn’t help but run over to them and wrap his arms around them, crying into their shoulder.

     Y/n froze for a moment before breaking down themselves, wrapping their arms around him and crying into his shirt. Hyunjin came around the corner not long after and joined in their crying hug. 

     “I’m sorry,” Y/n mumbled into Felix’s shirt

     “It’s okay,” Felix replied. 

     Soon the three moved onto the couch. Hyunjin lying against the back with Y/n on his chest and Felix on top of their stomach. Taking a few more minutes to calm down from their cry session. 

     “What’s going on hun?” Hyunjin asked as he kissed the side of Y/n’s head, his fingers playing with theirs. 

     “You guys have just been… so distant lately. I know I haven’t been in the relationship long but…”

     The two listened as they trailed off. Not speaking a word and just providing comfort, letting them tell them at their own pace. 

     “I just feel like I'm a third wheel in the relationship rather than a partner. And after last night when all I got was a goodnight, I figured you guys didn’t need me anymore.”

     “We’re so sorry hun.” Hyunjin sniffled behind them

     “We didn’t mean to leave you out. I think we both thought you would just follow us to bed. We were drained yesterday and didn’t even think, that's not an excuse though.” Felix added

     “I shouldn’t have left last night. I just…”

     “You don’t need to explain,” Hyunjin said 

     “No. we should of been more attentive and brought you to bed with us,” Felix added

     “Preparing for tour is exhausting though…” Hyunjin chuckled 

     “You guys are going on tour?” It was their job of course. But Y/n couldn’t help but cry thinking about the two leaving them for an extended period of time while the traveled. 

     “Yeah. We were stuck late at the company trying to convince management to let you come with us.” Hyunjin added

     “Really?” Y/n looked back at him

     “Of course. We wanna bring you with us. I think more after what we just talked about.” Felix added

     Y/n cried again. Both jumping to comfort them and wipe their tears. Y/n giggled at them and reassured them they were happy tears. Happy that these two loved them enough to bring them around the world with them, even if they were working. They were doing their best to make time and make it work. 

M. LIST ✧ TIP JAR

T A G S ✧ @junebug032 @the-sweetest-rose @hanjingin @hyunjinshairband01 @miintmochii @ohish @changbinisabigboy @dreamingaboutjisung @tattywood @stepout-09-15 @cello--190 @just-randomm-stuff @greysweaters @hazyspirts @mhasimp666 @slay-and-gay @smally97 @bloom4yu @itstorimf @linoyouknow @fjseung @jungsodesjoyyy @jjwhorehouse @carinathefairy @litepowee @babyphotos @inniecore @jeonginssa @dolceem @stvrfir3 @tasteskz-sworld @ultimatestayandminoronce @seungincore @tinyelfperson @greyyeti @dimpledsatan @camixiez @chansbabygirlsstuff @thatlonelyalto @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @donut-crazs @meloryme @rubyshoedpixie @cecepop15 @punks-rad @somsungiex @mcratyomama @lilylouise @stayconnecteed @kiko-o-luck @hyunjinswifeee @red-airhead @niaalove @emyferra08 @lovesunshinefelix @bunniieesstuff @enhaskzbtstxtsvt @nandinxoxo @producedbyy3racha

© 2023 jonedrabbles. Please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[fuckthemforthis]

Maribor recap or long rambling, some pics and trying to make sense in my head:

1. Thank you @chibi-chellist again for reaching out, it meant a lot not to be alone! Rambling about the boys is so much better in person and when it's not one-sided. I enjoyed meeting you and sharing experiences! 💕

2. Kaj pa Ester? is one of the cringiest things I've recently seen, especially dialog wise haha BUT it is also funny and kinda cute. Very teenage-y I guess, with too much lots of kissing and parties for which scenes they used some terrible modern cajke music (like use the good old soul ripping ones that don't mention Elon Musk... teenagers today smh). Anyway, I wouldn't mind it being longer and better developed in the emotional areas which you see they scratched but need deepening to give an actual sense of plot and sense to the movie. Could be due to the fact it was supposed to be a show first tho. However, I couldn't see Bojan's personality, mannerisms or gestures so in that sense I feel he did a great job acting 👏

And THE SCENE. Oh boy. Less sad and more frustrated bojerking. Putting shame aside to admit I would love to have it available on demand, especially for some ragged breathing appreciation...

3. Bought and tried Jan's fav cookies, yaay! They're really soft and don't crumble so I approve and will enjoy. I'm sure sentimental reasons are definitely a big part of why he named them as favorite and when I think about it they really suit him but there are better Slovenian cookies like almost any from Težak bakery in Zreče.

4. Half the venue were teenagers or parents with anything between 4 to 12 year olds. I was surrounded. And since I sat a few rows above the backstage entrance, kids all tried reaching for them as they were going off stage and among all the girls there was an 8 (?) year old boy who reached out and Bojan gave him a high-five... and lemme tell you I very much dislike kids but the way that boy turned and excitedly smiled melted my icy heart.

5. Third concert of theirs, third time on Jan's side. And I think Kris somehow knows & takes revenge by not singing NGVOT whenever I'm in the audience 😔

Well Krisko, princess dear, no photos of you 😝

6. Found it adorable how as ASTP was starting, Nace went to drink some water, took his bottle and clinked it against Jure's 🥂

7. Love that Maks was there again, I like the guy. At some point during the concert he was leaning on the fence above me taking pics and I missed half a song watching him work 🙈

8. As I was behind the loudspeakers, I heard Bojan's singing fine, but talking barely because it was often too distorted. What I did hear was him saying we came there for a workout to burn all the cookie calories from the last few days... and boy are you on the wrong track because I came back home with four different packs of cookies 🍪

9. Band dad Niko's daughter was with him watching the concert from next to the stage and he danced with her and it was adorable. The existence of good dads baffles my poor unloved ass...

10. We all know how in the setlist there's a connection between Padam and Demoni because Bojan even sometimes said "and when we fall they come", but I realised the chain starts with Dopamin. First you get a dopamine rush and feel like flying but soon you experience a crash because your body used up all the good stuff and then comes the falling and the demons (and then you go back to someone so the demons would go away but that someone just plays you again - if I wanna extend it to Katrina). Yes it's kind of a concert - post concert sadness - concert rinse&repeat metaphor

11. Janči had problems with his pedalboard for the first two or three songs, he and Kiki spent minutes fiddling with it trying to get it to work. Poor guy can't catch a break.

12. So yeah, the last point is based on Jan being sick, but it's actually about the main reason I like them so much - the connection, love and care they share.

I realised Jan wasn't okay during the concert so Bojan just confirmed it for me. He obviously still slayed, and he went to play at the front a lot, but there were telling moments.

A) When Bojan came to Jan at one point and rubbed his back in a very non performative way, squeezing at his shoulder and whispering something.

B) When Jan plopped down during Padam I thought "not when he usually goes down, is he okay?" and then Bojan leaned down to stroke his hair.

C) The most telling of all, when he sat down during Umazane misli. I kept looking at him, ignoring the left-front-right karaoke. He looked so tired and off, put his head in his hands and then Kiki gave him a bottle of water. When Nace turned around and noticed him like that, he smiled encouragingly and told him it's okay three times (yep they were close enough to read lips) and that's when I was 100% sure something was wrong and he was either feeling off emotionally or sick. He then got up, went to the front, played his ass off and only when he was walking back was it visable again for a moment how empty his expression was.

D) Jure coming to comfort him and cheer him up as soon as he could lift his ass away from those drums, leading him to the front where in the end Jan turned out to be the one stroking Nace's back in a "yeah it's okay" kinda way

E) As they were leaving for the final time, someone gave Jan a wrapped present he looked actually happy about and he threw back a pick but it fell where the person couldn't reach so Nace took over making sure the person gets it.

That's it. They are all utterly beautiful. And anyone who knows me, knows I use that word to describe people first and foremost on the inside. Beautiful.

[tellmegoodbye]

Welcome back everyone! This week's themes are Disasters and Nancy & Mateo. I'll admit, this theme was a tough one! I have two songs that reflect on two very disastrous moments in the show. It's a loose interpretation of the word, I know, but the result is now probably my angstiest music monday submission yet. You're welcome. Or I'm sorry.

Thank you as always to @lonestar-s5countdown!

---

Walked Through Hell - Anson Seabra

I guess all the mountains that I moved just weren't enough And all those nights I walked you home From crowded bars when you were drunk Well they meant nothing 'cause you up and walked away And I just wonder what it'd take to make you stay

Cause when you said jump I said how high But when I jumped you said goodbye

I would've walked through hell To find another way I would've laid me down If I knew that you would stay I would've crossed the stars To keep you in my life But now I'm falling hard Without you here tonight

I'm kicking things off with a breakup song. TK and Carlos were both broken in their own ways, but these lyrics are a reflection on Carlos' state of mind in the immediate aftermath. There's a touch of unreliable narrator involved here because obviously TK loves Carlos, but from the perspective of the person whose heart has just been broken, he doesn't. This song really digs into just how much pain something like this causes, and how much healing they had to go through. Much like a recovery from a physical injury, such as Grace hurting her leg or TK taking a bullet to his chest, Carlos' love and trust needed a lot of mending.

Atlantic - Sleep Token

(cw: reference to a suicide attempt)

I woke up surrounded, eyes like frozen planets Just orbiting the vacuum I am And they talk me through the damage, consequence And how it's a pain they know they don't understand

Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedside I'm trying not to crush into sand So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing Wash away the blood on my hands

This is TK in the aftermath of his overdose. The narrator describes themselves as a vaccum, surrounded by people who love them but can't understand the pain that they're in. TK feels so broken and empty at this point, and even though he lies to Owen and puts on a stoic face. We know he's hurting so much more than he said. We know that this overdose was no accident, that TK felt so lost and unlovable that he had tried to take his own life. He'll go through the motions. He'll move to Austin with his dad and rebuild a firehouse. He'll go back to work and seek out physical comfort from Carlos, but he doesn't heal from something like this overnight. He still feels like he'll never have the kind of future he wants. Love and happiness feel so distant for him right now, nearly an impossiblity. He can't see a way out of the darkness.

Tags!

@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos @bonheur-cafe

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @literateowl @carlos-tk

@paperstorm @guardian-angle22 @lightningboltreader @eclectic-sassycoweyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings

@whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh @toomanycupsoftea @reeeallygood @butchreyes

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @reyesstrand + open tag!

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😃👍While this fanfic was originally going to be a Choso fanfic, however I decided to write a fanfic and have Rensuke Kunigami, instead (apologies ahead of time with character replacement for this fanfic, ahead of time 😅)... I really had a hard time figuring out what to do with the fanfic without cancelling it, so I just decided why not make changes with the fanfic and even add some stuff to it including genres⚽💡

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🧡⚽Rensuke Has A Plan To Reassure You In A Different Way, If His Truthful, Words Don't Convince You This Time⚽🧡(Rensuke Kunigami x Female Reader)

Genres: Possible Angst, Possible Comfort, Smut (Warning +18: Praise Kink, Nipple Play, Nipple Licking, Nipple Sucking, Oral (Both recieving), Vaginal Penitration, Language, Brief fingering, Nudity, and Mentions of deep throating (and depending on the reader's imagination if there's deep throating)

Your life has been dreadful on and off. You were in your shell often and have been timid, especially on the social media (sites and/or apps) you go on and in your personal life with friends and family. You just felt obligated to prioritize everyone else's happiness over your own happiness and well-being.

One day, you met a man named Rensuke Kunigami in a night club. He sensed that you tend to keep most of your opinions to yourself just to avoid confrontation and to keep others happy and you even go far as not telling people that your offended about something just to keep them from being offended themselves, so he decided to exchange cellphone numbers with you, as he hopes to try to get you out of your shell. After a few cellphone calls, going on a few dates and you attending a couple of football matches (which some people refer as, soccer games) that he was in, the both of you then decided to have a relationship together.

Since you started your relationship with Rensuke, your life has changed and for the better. You have been saying your opinions more, you have been taking better care of your well-being, you have been focusing more on your happiness (than you used to), and you have been a happier person than you ever remember being. You just couldn't imagine your life without him.

There's just an issue or so with your relationship with Rensuke... He has been very sex starved (and ofcourse you are too), since atleast the last few games and neither of you knew when was the last time you had sex with him (which is frustrating for the both of you (more him)). If that's not enough, on top of that while your self-esteem was getting better, you still had some issues of your own, considering some negative stuff that happened with your past relationships, to the point where you felt like you're the most unlovable person ever, because of most of your past relationships ends with your exes dumping you and having you be the last to know. The worst part is no matter how much reassurance he gives you, you just felt he will always find a reason to leave you somehow.

One night after Rensuke took some time off from football (which some people refer as, soccer) to spend time with you inside the house he shares with you now. While he's decorating the bedroom the both of you share together to make tonight a special night for the both of you, you went inside the room and asked, "Rensuke, are you sure you love me? Why have you put up with me, as long as, you did? And what in the hell do you ever see in me?", as you're trying to hold your tears back. He tried to reassure you, as he answered, "Ofcourse I love you, (female reader name). With putting up with you... Out of my love for you and you're very easy to get along with... Plus, you're very sweet to me... And I see alot in you, my sweetie... It's just that, there's so much more that I see in you, than I could explain...". You replied, "I guess I just never know what to think... I know I'm ready for the relationship... It's just the abandonment issues I'm trying to get over is very hard not to let get to me... I still get in the back of my mind where you would find a reason to throw me away, like I'm a horrible monster, one day... I guess part of my problem is that, I tend to be self-loathing at times... I just was used to being abandoned, where there's always fear that I will always be unwanted...", before you went to hug him tightly, as he hugged you back. That was when he had an idea that might give you ultimate reassurance to prove to you that you're more lovable than you believe yourself to be when nothing else has been able to keep you convinced.

"Would you like to lay in the bed, beautiful? There's some stuff I would like to do with you, if you don't mind, babe...", Rensuke cooed, as he changed the subject. You then stopped hugging him, as you then took your clothes off and stripped yourself completely naked before going to the bed to lay down on. All Rensuke did was stripped himself, while leaving only his boxers on so far, as he's holding on to his tie that he was wearing. "Let me know, if I'm hurting you, sweetheart, because I rather not get rough on you, unless you tell me, until we get to the finale...", he cooed, as he walked to the bed before getting on top of you, as he the proceeded to tie your wrists together with his tie, he was holding.

After Rensuke had his tie, tied around both of you wrists, he teased, "Hmmm... What should I do first? Should I suck on your amazing tits, first? Or should I have some fun with your beautiful, clit?", as he lightly touched your clit, to get a light groan leaving your lips before he continued, "Decisions, decisions... What to do first?", before he grined down at your pussy knowing he was going to eat your pussy out first. While he was licking your pussy, he did madesure he licked at the bud of your pussy, knowing full well you would moan out his name and the fact that your bud is the most sensitive part of your pussy. A few minutes later he started sucking on your pussy, while licking your bud, only this time he was licking it non-stop. "Oh fuck, Rensuke... You know I'm sensitive there... Why did you have to go lick my bud...", you moaned, as your legs started twitching, you were about to release yourself inside his mouth, and your face started to turn red out of pleasure of him eating your clit out the way he did.

Once Rensuke stopped eating your clit out, he briefly used both fingers inside of your pussy hole, as he replied, "Knowing your bud is very sensitive is why I licked on it, sweetie... You deserve some extra pleasure... Aaaaawwwww... Look you face is blushing red for me... Did I pleasure your pussy that much? You have such an amazing pussy that I couldn't tell how pleasured you were, until now... Don't worry, my angel... We're just getting started...", before he took his fingers out of your pussy, then played with both of your sensitive nipples... He could tell you're overstimulated from him playing with your sensitive nipples, however he also notices you're holding your moans back. He then teased, "Why hold back, sexy... There's no need to... I'm taking care of you... I want to pleasure you... Besides... Your breasts are the only breasts I want to see... So if you're going to hold back, I might as well overstimulate your tits more...", before he licks both of your nipples, then proceeded to suck on your right nipple.

You really enjoyed the sensation of Rensuke sucking on your right nipple for a few minutes to the point where you couldn't hold back as you moaned, "You did amazing on sucking on my right nipple... Could you suck on the other nipple like you did with the right nipple, please...". He notices from the tone of your voice that you're no longer holding back your enjoyment of getting overstimulated, as stopped sucking on your right nipple, then he answered, "Ofcourse, my sweetie... Anything for you... Both of your tits are very sexy and I planned on sucking both tits anyways... Even if that isn't the plan, still... Anything for you, babe...", before sucking on your left nipple the same way, as he sucked on your right nipple. You were overstimulated from getting your left nipple sucked on, just as much as you did with your right nipple.

After Rensuke got done sucking on your left nipple, he said, "I have a question, (Female Reader Name)... Would it be alright, if I put my cock in your mouth? I will try to be gentle and there will be deep throating, but only if you want... Or if I do it accidentally...", before taking his boxers off, as he is now completely naked. "Ofcourse, Rensuke... I honestly wouldn't mind, your dick in my mouth, actually... I seriously have been waiting for a while to suck on your cock... And I'm perfectly fine, if your cock is deep in my throat...", you answered, trying to hide your smirk on your face. When he got the hint that you consented to sucking on his cock (even if he was on top of you) he put his cock inside of your mouth, as he tries to be gentle with riding your face.

Minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock, as gently as he can, while he's noticing the expressions on your face, giving him the impression that he's doing a good job, even if it was his first time riding your face (with his cock in your mouth). He then groaned as he praised, "I see you really enjoyed my cock riding inside of your mouth, (female reader name)... It also seems like your mouth took my cock well... I guess you meant what you said about wanting my dick right inside your mouth... You look, so beautiful... With my dick in your mouth and also without my dick in your mouth, as well... My cock just felt good inside your mouth... You're doing amazing, my love...". (Up to reader's imagination, if there's deep throating in this fanfic)

Once Rensuke is done feeding you his cock, he moved back to your legs to kiss your thighs, before he moved both of your legs over his shoulders, inserting his cock inside of your tight pussy, as he begins to thrust himself inside of you, while holding you thighs. As Rensuke groans from the feeling of your tight pussy around his cock, he was still able to focus the expressions (and blushing) on you face and your whimpers leaving you lips, showing him that you're really getting your enjoyment from him thrusting his cock inside your overstimulated, tight hole. He smirked, as he moaned, "I see that getting your tight hole enjoys taking my cock in... I can tell you get overstimulated from what has to be your most favorite part of our sex time, my brave queen...", before moving your legd off his shoulders, then opening up your legs, as he continued, "But let's see, if I could could go deeper inside you...", while he continued thrusting deeper inside your pussy.

A few minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock inside your already worn out pussy. You were, so cock drunk, where you the feeling of his cock inside of your pussy.... When your pussy was first tight around his cock and Rensuke spreading your legs to get his cock deeper inside of your hole. All you could do is whimper, "Oh fuck, Rensuke! Please keep fucking me! Don't stop please!", as your begs gave Rensuke the hint to keep fucking you, until he atleast cums inside of you, despite of your pussy has been worn out. He then had your legs wrapped around him, as he started to thrust inside of you harder and faster, while the both of your were locking lips together into an extremely heated kiss to reduce the loudness from his moans and your whimpers.

Once Rensuke emptied himself inside of you, while making sure his cum stays inside of your pussy hole, he unties his tie where you can move you hands freely again, so you can touch both sides of his facial cheeks. He then asked, as he whispered, "Did I give you enough reassurance about the fact I will never leave you, my cutie?", as he moved 1 of his hands on the same side of one of your facial cheeks. "Yes, Rensuke... I see your point... I think you reassured me enough... Now I know I won't have to worry about being left behind, as long as we're still together...", you replied in a whisper. He then replied back whispering, "That's good to hear... And (Female Reader Name)... I love you...". You then whispered once more, replying again, "I love your too, Rensuke Kunigami...", before the both of you kissed eachother's lips, then the both of you looked into eachother's eyes, until you and Rensuke fell peacefully asleep.

⚽🧡The End🧡⚽

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed this Rensuke Kunigami smut fanfic I have written😁👍I just really wanted to write something for this particular fanfic, I figured why not write it the way I did...🤔😃👍I figured that this type of fanfic I have been working on would fun to write😃👍The fanfic took me a long time to complete, even tough I originally was going to write about Choso😅And again apologies for the character replacement😅

[not-goldy]

i was the one who wrote the post about jk choosing/proritising his 97 liner friends over jimin. i guess i was harsh with my wording and i think it was caused because of the lack of jikook in a way (sounds stupid i know) we dont know how much time is left before all remaining four members enlist in the military (they would enlist this year itself, that much is clear) and there's a chance jimin would leave soon seeing most of his schedule is done (that we know of) and i was expecting a jikook live before the torturous two years we'll have to go through without them but i dont really see any chance of that happening now. jk also has music bank on jm's birthday and we know its a really tiring event and it can take a full day to get done with the whole thing, so chances of jk and jm interactions are again very slim.i think i just miss them and desperately wanted to see them. i know just because we dont see them doesn't mean they dont interact off cam but i wanted to see them on a live or tiktok or something. so seeing jungkook make tiktoks with that mingyu during both seven and 3d era just...ruffled my feathers in a way. also saw a lot of 'gyukookers' on my tl so yea that was annoying as well. i kinda assumed jm won't be in the live as it was a post-album announcement live, but still...

so yea, knowing that jungkook won't be much active on jm's b'day and not getting the oct 4th live as well kinda saddened me. does not excuse my behaviour but that's what happened.

Thanks for being real and for being honest.

I think you are human in every sense of the word so I can't be too hard on you or even hold you to it. We've all been there. I know exactly how painful and frustrating it can be. But I'm here for you okay?

I would be that person to bring you back to reality and keep you grounded when you drift, I will call you out if I have to and I will point out the errors of your ways and it would almost always be out of love- if I however sense you actually hate any of our captains I'll deep fry your titties, lace them with acid and spoon feed them to you🤧

You can dm me anytime with any grievances you have and I'll listen. Or just tag your asks with rants and I'll know how to respond without putting a target on your back.

I wish we have a jikook live too.

I wish they release the seven tiktok challenge they filmed on the boat.

I wish Jimin has a happy birthday and not feel unloved or cared for or that he matters to those that matters to him the most.

And I feel Jungkook had to keep repeating he'd be busy on the 13th so we don't make a huge deal out of it if we don't see him around that day.

Sometimes I know they feel they are in a three way relationship with us where we are the pets and children they didn't ask for but have living in their basement.

They don't just have to care for eachother they have to care not to bruise us too. It's a complex symbiotic parasocial relationship dynamic we have with them.

We care and sometimes they care that we care. But that's not fair to them.

We are the kids who keep complaining daddy forgot mommy's birthday. Daddy was seen with female in his car. Daddy came home late. Daddy forgot to take the trash out. Daddy yelled at mommy. Daddy didn't eat mommy's meal. She worked so hard to make him his dinner. Daddy doesn't love mommy. Daddy is a fuckboy. It's almost as if we want to date mommy ourselves and nothing daddy does pleases us.

If it were a horror movie we'd be the changeling they'd be running away from🥲

It is well with us. Love you okay?

[gollygeedash]

19 14 12 Mason!

I was going to try and do nicer drawings for these, but Art Fight is so close MS PAINT IT IS! (heehee) 19. Has your OC ever had an experience with the paranormal or the divine? What happened? Was it a one time encounter or is it a normal part of their life? Did they find it terrifying or thrilling?

In canon, no. Mason was born and raised on a planet full of various kinds of aliens so I don't... think weird stuff phases him too much. I guess the weirdest thing he'd interacted with is his cat that sometimes Bethesda-glitch through the wall and can make her head do weird things when she sneezes.

IN AU THOUGH.... It's very very funny to me to put Mason against paranormal things because he's either "WHAT" about it or he's trying so so so hard to pretend it doesn't exist and everything's normal. In the Gollyville RP my friends and I do he gets to be exposed to a few weird things, like for instance a girl he took in to stay with him can just turn into a raccoon. His first instinct was "get the broom". And then there's also two of his friends that got fused into one person, Leanne, and he had A TIME trying to cope with that at the beginning. Hey, two of your friends might be gone forever and you have this abomination instead? Have fun with that Mason. (He did later on)

And then of course my friends and I play Phasmophobia and one of the models looks... VERY MASON ADJACENT so we like to joke that he's now on a ghost-hunting squad with two kids.

There was also a one-off RP session where we dropped Mason in a haunted dead mall (along with some other characters) and they all had to escape! Unfortunately he didn't get to see too much weird stuff because he was too focused on trying to find Alynne. Though there were moving mannequins.... He did get to see that.

Sometime in the near future another friend of mine has another horror-RP planned for him and a few other friends OCs, so I'm very excited for that :]c

14. How important is friendship to your OC? Do they prefer to have one or two close friends or a large group of casual friends? Or do they prefer their own company over that of others?

Mason would like to say he doesn't need friends/friendship but WITHOUT FAIL, every time, he's going to find out he does (get appreciated, idiot) He's not a very social person, so the idea of having a larger group of casual friends feels like a death trap of making small talk the whole time. He much prefers the company of one or two closer friends. In college he stuck to only hanging out with Rex, maybe another person he fell out of contact with. When the story takes place and when he's done saying saying "woe is me, I'm unlovable" he's going to find it harder to keep people away from hanging out with him. Be it Rex, Eda, Miranda and Deven, Maddison, and even others later on :]c

He is very introverted though, so he's going to have his moments of needing to step back and have a day to himself. "Nap on the couch with the tv on" kinda day.

12. Is your OC cynical or optimistic? Who or what shaped their outlook on life?

Who, Mason? Optimistic? PFFT. He'd need a whole life changing event for that to happen. Ahaha, haha. Hah. (He'll get what's coming for him.)

As for what caused the cynicism.....

[recklessracoon]

I thought I'd share my Saiki K playlist. It's just a bunch of songs I like that I think fit him roughly arranged by where I feel like they fall on his character arc. Justifications for my selections under the cut.

I Am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel: This song really strikes me as affirmations of a deeply lonely person trying to convince themselves that they're better off this way. A good fit for Saiki at the start of the series when he's closed himself off from other people.

The Beast by Spectacle-P: It's about a someone who's been lonely for so long that they've forgotten how lonely they are being offered love but being too proud and full of fear to accept it. I'd quote some of the translated lyrics but I'd just end up putting most of the song here I think. Please watch the subtitled video on youtube and tell me if don't think this isn't a good fit for Saiki.

Nothing at All: Reminds me of early series Saiki's tirades about how much being a psychic sucks where he just describes the symptoms of depression.

Loveless by Steampianist: Honestly I don't remember why I put this on here. Probably because of the feelings of alienation it conveys and how it seems to be about the ace experience of not being able to experience love in the way that society tells you should.

Are You Satisfied by Marina: I think this ones pretty self-explanatory. If I was better at drawing I'd like to make an animatic about the Saiki brothers using this song.

Star of Show: I'll admit this ones a bit more of a stretch and honestly it's mostly on here because I like listening to it when plotting out my fanfic but also "I'm not a freak/I'm not an act/I'm not a deity's performance!" kind of fits with his issues about how his powers affect people's perception of him.

404 by Pinocchio-P: It's about feeling unable to connect to people and like your true-self will be rejected. I also think the little alien guy in the music video for it looks a lot like Kusuo. I actually forgot how good a fit this was until I went and looked at the lyrics again and yup past me was correct in putting it on this playlist.

A Hundred Years Unresolved: It's lonely sounding and I came to associate it with Saiki because like listening to it when I play the Regentquest segment of See You in the Dark. No deeper reason then that.

Oh No! by Marina: Kusuo is the sort of guy to go "I know exactly what I want and who I want to be." You know, like a liar.

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense: I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel like the theme of falseness that runs through the song fits him. It's also worth mentioning that this song is also on my Kuusuke playlist that I'm not sharing here because it isn't as good and frankly it's kind of shameful that I even have a playlist for that guy.

I Am Not a Robot by Marina: Kusuo is vulnerable and lovable even if he doesn't believe that about himself.

God-ish by Pinocchio-P: I'm not sure how well this one fits because frankly this is one of the Pinocchio-P songs I don't feel like I have as solid a handle on the meaning of. I mostly chose it because of the name and because it seems to be a pretty cynical song.

Fear and Loathing by Marina: "Now I see, I see it for the first time / There is no crime in being kind / Not everyone is out to screw you over / Maybe, yeah just maybe, they just want to get to know you" I feel like this is fairly self-explanatory

arms by Christina Perri: I listened to my Pandora stations for the first time in ages recently (well back in August, apparently), heard this and thought "Kubosai song?!" though frankly it would also work well for Nensai or other Saiki ships or even platonically if you ignore some the more romantic lyrics. Though I think it's best suited to the first two listed. Anyway I think this fits Saiki's relationship issues pretty well.

Soap by The Oh Hellos: It's a very hopeful song about how people need other people and you are not unlovable. So I think you can imagine why I thought it was a good song to end the playlist with.

[memorydragon]

Yup, still on my gay coproganda bs.

One of the more interesting things about Jiang Ting's character is how much he doesn't actually want to be a character. His defense mechanism is to turn the question around. We first see this when Yan Xie confronts him the first time about being 'Captain Jiang'. He asks Jiang Ting what he has to say about all of the things he'd uncovered about Jiang Ting's past, and Jiang Ting's response is "What do you want 'Captain Jiang' to say? Tell me and I'll say it."

And he does this so often. He could lie, he could tell a half-truth, instead he asks what the other person wants to hear. What they want him to be.

And guess what? I'm totally normal about that. XD

The earliest memory we have of him is as a child, cleaning his father's body and being grateful that he wasn't beaten today. He's too young to understand that his father overdosed (we get no information about his mother) and is already dead. He's too young to realize that the majority of the people in his small village are either addicts or dealers, that it's a miracle he was born without HIV. When he's sent to the orphanage, he's isolated and bullied, internalized that he's unclean and unlovable when he looks in the mirror. When Yan Xie gets angry at the corruption in the orphanage Bu Wei grew up in, he just replies that 'It's like that, in places like these.'

When Ma Xiang confronts him, asking him who he is really. Is he the mole that got Yan Xie shot and nearly killed, lying on an operating room table while they waited for news? Jiang Ting says it himself, he's the most suspicious out of all of them, because even swept under the rug, the rest of the division Knows something is off about their 'Consultant Lu'. Jiang Ting doesn't define himself. He says "I'm who your Yan-ge thinks I am."

Yan Xie listens to the half-truths he's spun about himself after he dragged Jiang Ting out of the river, and Jiang Ting tells him: The safest thing for you is to hand me over to the police. I can't make myself believe you, because I have nothing now. I can't respond to this feeling, because I don't want to lie to you. Whether you hand me in or not is up to you.

He even does this to Wen Shao, when his loyality is probed. "What do you want me to say?" Except Wen Shao thinks he understands Jiang Ting the best, that only Jiang Ting understands him. Jiang Ting tells the truth then, that the one who understood his reasons wasn't him. Yan Xie was the one who correctly guessed the motives.

Because Jiang Ting has never been wanted as himself. He was the child of drug addicts, tossed into a orphanage where the corruption was rampant and money went into the adult's hands more often than not. When he finally found a friend, someone who liked him and didn't chase him away, his first thought is of saving his friend. Wen Shao has money and a family who loves him, so it's okay if he dies as long as Wen Shao lives. When his friend betrays him, saves himself first, Jiang Ting is happy.

Except his first friend, the person who says now everything I have is yours and you will be my only brother, the one person who likes someone like Jiang Ting, is the son of a drug lord. He forces the kidnappers who hurt them to take heroin, then turns to Jiang Ting and asks if he's happy now.

The child who watched his father overdose and has finally learned to understand what drugs are, is forced to watch more people die the same way by the one person who was supposed to love him.

He's happy. He's very happy. (The lie is so weak - he's ten years old and he's never had to hide himself like this before, despite everything. He's only just realizing that his first lie was already made, because he can't be loyal to Wen Shao, not like this. But he lies, because what else can he do? )

Wu Tun adopted him to keep his son, Wen Shao, in check. He's a pawn, put into a good school and groomed to be a policeman with padded pockets who will let the drug cartel off. He hates - hates - that he has no choice in this, he just has to become the pawn Wu Tun wants.

Wen Shao returns and he's brought new, even worse drugs with him. He wants his Red Queen on his side, gives Jiang Ting an apartment to rest in, to take care of things that would be 'inconvienent' otherwise, and Jiang Ting hates and hates even more.

So he plans to kill the King of Spades, then take out the Ace of Clubs. It can't erase what he is, but maybe he can move forward. All the over time, the stress, the loneliness will be worth it. (I'm so very very Normal about how he can't just agree to hanging out with his coworkers, how he over thinks and decides half way to take the agreement back and say 'let's talk about it tomorrow'. Because he wants to go, for the first time in his life he wants to do something as simple as going out with coworkers - possibly friends.)

Except he's been sold out. His plan falls through. His team dies and he'll never be able to talk about it tomorrow, and when he runs into the fire, all that's left for him is three years of being comatose and the King of Spades going free.

When he meets Yan Xie, he hides. He wants to be what Yan Xie wants him to be, but he can't. He's still tied as the Queen of Hearts, haunted by the sins he's committed and the people who died. He comments that Yan Xie is blind falling for someone like him, calling him beautiful all the time. That this crush that he'd never allowed himself to pursue has come back into his life and wants to be picked by him.

The Red Queen's heart that was so full of hate now has something else. But even if Yan Xie was blind now, would he still love Jiang Ting when he saw the truth?

He hides and he hides and lies, and when the cards are drawn, he finally tells the truth, finds something to define himself by. "I love you, Yan Xie."

Yan Xie's faith in him is already broken. It has to be broken further. The best lie is the one that is the truth that no one believes.

[plutobutartsy]

What songs make you think of briar, nate, and Evie?

ohhh that's a great question!! i narrowed it down to 3 each but they're all fairly angsty, my bad 😭

also this ended up bein a lot longer than i intended fcf

Briar

Are You Satisfied? by Marina

[High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed || It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide / And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die]

this one is pretty self-explanatory; he's an overachiever and a perfectionist and pushes people away so 1. they don't see his flaws and 2. he can focus on becoming the best™

ILYIS pt. 2 by Mel Bryant & The Mercy Makers

[I love you, you're so selfless / I'm sorry, I'm so selfish / I love that you're so gentle / And I'm sorry I'm so hellish]

the best way to push people away is to mistreat them in some way, shape or form and Briar knows this. unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from feeling incredibly guilty about it. and then he feels guilty about feeling guilty because he chose this, so he has no right to be unhappy about it, right?

Alien Blues by Vundabar

[I need to purge my urges, / Shame, shame, shame / I need an alibi to justify, / Somebody to blame]

this one applies in two ways. for one, it's very much about his eating disorder and the shame he feels around his need to feed. but it's also about how he hides who he really is in order to project this image of perfection.

Nate

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

[Tears falling down at the party / Saddest little baby in the room / Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started / I get a little grey hair for every scare you share]

allthough they wear this cheery mask, if you look closely enough you can see that Nate is pretty much always sad. no matter how many people he has around him, he's always the saddest and most lonely person in the room! :D

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol

[What if I told you that the world was gonna end / And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends? / I guess we don't even need to use the phone / I don't need your answer, I'll be spending it alone]

since he does his best to shut off all of his feelings, all his relationships are veryyy surface-level. Nate is convinced that they'll never be anybody's favourite person or first choice.

i'm your man by mitski

[So, when you leave me, I should die / I deserve it, don't I? || One day, you'll figure me out / I'll meet judgement by the hounds || You believe me like a god / I betray you like a man]

oh he feels so so guilty for this fake persona he's putting on. they think they're unlovable (like their father) and like they're deceiving everybody atound them, tricking them into liking him.

also dog mention 🐺🐺🐺

Evie

Shame by mitski

[I never was very good / I haven’t been so good / But right outside the door nobody knows / They’re right outside the door and they don’t know how it / Feels so good] alright, so i've already established that Evie feels a lot of shame surrounding, well, everything. she feels like she's just so incredibly average at everything she does, no matter how hard she tries. she also feels incredibly guilty and ashamed over how she knocks others down to climb the social latter. the last two verses relate to her specifically in regards to her self harm :).

summer depression by girl in red

[Pretty face with pretty bad dreams / No one knows I cry in my sleep / Waking up feeling like shit / It's a normal thing to feel like this]

honestly, this whole song is Evie all year around but summer is similar to her birthday in the sense that she's painfully aware that she should be doing things with her friends like other people her age, except she has no friends. additionally, she does everything in her power to keep her depression from her family because she thinks she's "not sick enough". she's convinced herself that feeling awful 24/7 is normal, that everyone feels like this and she's just being a crybaby about it! yay :3

Lovefuck by Dream Nails

[You'll love and fuck / You'll love and fuck and love again / Your world is growing bigger every day / I know you don't believe me]

ending this on a hopeful note! this is very much Evie once her mental health gets better and she realizes that life isn't so bad and that she still has all the time in the world to find happiness :D

[chewydolls]

QSMP x Ever After High characters that remind me of them

Quackity x Duchess Swann

Bitchy ™

Quackity/ElQ and White Swan/Black Swan parallels

Yearning for romantic love

Resented guys who think they were doomed from the start to be unlovable, cursed to stay at the sideline watching with jealousy as their peers get the happy ending they could never hope to achieve

They actually have the means to take agency over their fate, but this requires some healing and introspection that the respective villains from their worlds are direct or indirectly preventing them from doing

Still, happiness most likely won't come in the way they fantasize bout

Feathers? Birbs??? Idk

Jaiden x Briar Beauty

They're both associated with roses

Their arcs are shaped by grief: in Briar's case the certainty of outliving all her friends makes her mourn the life she knows while they're still alive; and Jaiden was deeply shaken by Bobby's death

That doesn't stop them from aligning themselves with the very oppresive organization that stood by and let the tragedy happen, but:

a) They are hurt and going with what is familiar to them

b) They will be chaotic af about it

Agent of chaos aligning with Order can you picture that

They're bffs with figures that uphold the status quo, to varying degrees of how much power they actually have in the grand scheme of things (Cucurucho and Apple)

Isolation is a big theme in the Sleeping Beauty story, and that resonates a lot with Jaiden's arc and how she got close to Cucurucho at her lowest point vs how Briar tries to stay loyal to the Royals even when it hurts her and her closest friends, because Apple is her bestie and was always there for her

Roier x Briar Beauty (again)

A mimir

The whole Animations family is very Briar-coded, actually

Everything I said about Briar's grief works for him, especially the part of mourning people who are still alive bc the threat of being the last person standing weights over them

Just... the concept of being the last person alive as your kingdom is ruined and the vines break the beautiful stained glass of your castle and your bed is covered in thorns ✨️

"Living in fear is not living" vs "If I'm gonna sleep for a hundred years, I've got to live it up now!"

They're so good at keeping a "silly guy" act that few people can tell when they're actually sad

Outgoing and charismatic personality but still end up feeling isolated

Special little guy shipped with the confrontational, off-putting little freak (Spiderbit, Briar/Faybelle)

Pac x Blondie Lockes

I'll give it to you they're not that similar but:

Chisme? Gossip?? Fofoca???

Pros at breaking and entering

Drawn to scary creatures with sharp teeth

Cellbit x Alistair Wonderland

You thought I was gonna pair him with Raven, right? Wrong!

Men only know how to do 3 things: solve puzzles, play chess and be absolutely smitten for their partners

Came to the island/eah by accident and immediately got in the nerves of the authorities

Both were abandoned in a dangerous land by the people who later became their found family (not his friends fault, in Alistair's case, totally justifiable in Cellbit's)

In the unlikely scenario where I did pair him with Raven, Felps would 100% be his Maddie, k?

Felps x Maddie Hatter

I'm not doing 1:1 crossover but Alistair/Cell being besties with Maddie/Felps works too i guess

Chaotic, unpredictable, barely comprehensible, they will encourage their bffs to be the best version of themselves while also enabling them to do the dumbest shit possible

Part of a weird polycule that by all means shouldn't be there but they decided to make it everyone else's problem

Signature Food (pasta/tea)

Tina x Cerise Hood

Deeply self-conscious about their identity, hiding under a semblance of innocence so no one notices their monstrous/demon heritage

Actively hiding a part of themselves (horns/ears)

Despite that, they still instigate their friends to be unhinged, as long as they can be on their good side

[misc-obeyme]

(Sorry, if if there are any mistakes, English isn't my first language.) I really want to talk about lesson 38. Personally, I'm more worried about forgiving the "Father" than anything else. When I read all that I had the impression of seeing a toxic parent/ex who comes back to his victims in the mode "I'm sorry I hurt you... but it's a bit your fault too... well, that's in the past now I forgive you, I love you enormously you know" And just, no. Firstly, it raises all my red flags and 1/2

Hello there, anon! I hope you don't mind I put your other ask here so I can answer them together. (Yes I use the goth rave theme lol)

Yes, this definitely seems to be the general sentiment about Lesson 38!

Just in case, I'm putting a SPOILERS disclaimer here.

It is exactly like a toxic ex or parent coming back around and offering forgiveness when there's nothing to forgive. When they are the ones to blame, but they make their victims feel like it's their fault.

I agree with that entirely. I was having a very similar reaction of WHAT? Because that felt so weird and so random. Like who are you coming around here and being like ah yes, here is Lucifer in all his angelic glory! Remember for this brief second what it felt like to be in my favor!

Like excuse you.

All of that was bad enough, but then Lucifer was just like yes, okay. I accept my Father's love... like NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

That to me feels very much like an unloved child who forgives their toxic parent in the hope that the parent has seen the error of their ways and will somehow figure out how to love them.

They very much imply that Father sees the brothers as traitors, that they're the ones who betrayed him rather than the other way around. And so Father believes he can still bestow forgiveness. But even if that was true, it's far too late now. He can't just allow a war to happen among his kids, banish a bunch of them from their home, and then expect everything to be okay with a cute little display of magic.

My main hope is that we're still missing some context. Which is why I talk about the possibility that Father is trapped somehow and that all of the bad things weren't actually his doing to begin with. It's the only way this whole scenario doesn't come off as toxic. But until they reveal some twist like that, I can't help but think that Father is pretty awful. And remain confused about why Lucifer would go along with his love and all that nonsense.

I'm also hoping for the next lesson to reveal some more information! I'm pretty sure my MC would straight up tell Lucifer he's being an idiot lol.

But anyway, I guess we'll see what comes next!

[bunnyb34r]

Had this long post typed out explaining why I was so pissy yesterday but the tldr is that we were very short staffed, and so NewLady was told to do grocery. She says she won't do it if no one else is gonna help her (meaning me. She didnt want me to be able to stay in the clothing dept if SHE couldn't.) She was told it was 6 pallets. Still fusses. I get told to help.

I then did 3 pallets (one I just put back in the steel, one was 3 items (and only 1 was for that area, got to offload the other 2 to health and beauty), and one was baby wipes. Heavy but doable.)

It took me 20 min. It took NewLady like 90min-2 hours to finish her 3 pallets. I could tell she was SEETHING lmaooo like bitch I said I would HELP you do them, I did half. Go fuck yourself 🤗

Oh and I was in the middle of a major move, very visibly, and oh yeah I ONLY WORK 4 HOURS. Like bitch first of all, no one likes you here so stop giving us more reasons. Second of all, your job is not soley clothing. And finally, they know you're gonna be there 8 hours, that I'm there 4, it makes more sense to ask you.

I was just WAITING for her to say something bc I was gonna unleash hell on her. Like bitch when I get mad, I get MEAN. I was kinda hoping she'd give me a reason to be a bitch lmaoo I was READY

I'm gonna put it under a cut, but I spent the rest of my shift thinking of things to say just in case (like I said I get MEAN)

"So are you like this because no one here likes you, or is the reason no one here likes you your nasty attitude?"

"So are you like this in your home life too, or are we just the lucky ones who get to see you like this?"

"See, THIS is why nobody here likes you. NOBODY." (Seriously everyone fucking hates her)

"I know being an unlovable asshole is hard, but you don't need to make it OUR problem."

This one would HURT her I'm sure lmao: "y'know for allegedly having had been a manager at target, you REALLY have absolutely 0 people skills."

(And the continuation I would have to be absolutely extremely beyond livid to add: "it's really amazing that you lasted long enough there to retire. I mean seriously, with no people skills, you bitch at and make enemies of every fucking person you work with, and you can't handle being told what to do. Guess they let anyone become a manager at that target huh?" )

"You are the one person here who doesn't actually need to be, you were retired for God's sake! Just LEAVE already! Just quit!"

"I don't know what the fuck your problems are outside of work, nor do I care, but stop making them MY problem. Stop ruining my fucking day EVERYDAY!"

"You're either a special kind of stupid or the most arrogant dumbass in the world to constantly shit where you eat." (She starts shit with whoever the hell she works with and was moved from front end to clothing bc she pissed EVERYONE there off)

Feel free to add your own insults :)

[coolishfoolishness]

Anyway here's a silly little gay story I wrote. Figured I'd post it here. Feel free to give constructive criticism, but please don't be mean.

Love is a Battlefield

I died here. In this mall that I now inhabit. I was beaten to a bloody pulp and stuffed somewhere no one would find me. I guess it's what I deserve for being a degenerate. For carrying a disgusting disease of my own. Maybe I wouldn't have died if I just tried a little harder to be normal. But oh well.

Now I haunt this abandoned mall. Occasionally people will come around to check this place out. Mostly a bunch of jerks writing stuff like "_ was here" and drawing obscene things on my body. I scare most people away though. It's usually as easy as playing music over the speakers or turning on an escalator. For those particularly stubborn, I chase out. I'm sure there are more than a few ghost stories about me by now. Am I a ghost though? I don't know what I am. All I know is I'm supposed to be dead. I suppose this mall is supposed to be my own personal hell. They told me hell would be hot, that I would burn. But all I feel is cold. So very cold. Cold and alone.

I've seen more than my fair share of make out sessions. I don't know why anyone would go here to do that, but I suppose most would assume they have privacy here. I've also seen people go further, but I'd rather not go into detail about that. I don't blame people for doing it, and I'm not mad at them. I suppose I'm just jealous. I wish I could have that, but I'm unlovable. Especially now that I'm dead.

Oh great, another teenager coming in to torment me. Just one this time. A boy. He's carrying a duffel bag that I assume is full of spray cans. I should be able to scare him away easily. I turn on the music. The song "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. It's not a very intimidating song, but that doesn't matter. People get scared of anything out of the ordinary in an abandoned mall. Especially since I've already built up a reputation for myself.

But he doesn't leave. He opens his mouth. "Is anyone there? Are you the ghost that haunts this place? Are you a friendly ghost?" I do not answer him. It's strange though. Instead of reacting with fear, he reacts with curiosity. But this isn't the only time I've had to deal with a ghost hunter. Most of them expect just some sounds or pictures, but I can do so much more than that. One time I chased some girl down and destroyed her camera. If people got proof of my existence, then they'd probably start being even more annoying. As he starts climbing the escalator, I turn it on. He stumbled a bit in surprise, but he still seems to be unafraid. "Well isn't that that convenient. Maybe you are friendly." He's so frustratingly optimistic.

Everytime I try to scare him away, he just gets more curious. I turn on an arcade, and all he does is play the games. I flicker the lights and he just laughs in excitement. I start to enjoy watching him. He dances and sings through the mall without a care. "Can I make a request?" He asks. "I recently went through a breakup. Do you have a song for that?" I decide to humor him and played the song "Heartbreaker", another one by Pat Benatar. He sings along to it, the emotions in his voice a mix of joy, anger, and sadness. His voice is beautiful, not because it is perfect, but because it is so very imperfect. Every voice crack, every misplaced breath, reminds me of a feeling that I haven't had in forever. It scares me.

The song eventually ended and he sighed. "Thanks. That really helped," he speaks softly, his smile bittersweet. Small tears trickle down his face, tempting me to wipe them off. " Now… " he starts, "Why don't I put ona little fashion show? Will you let me borrow some clothes if I promise to put them back?" He goes into one of the clothing stores, carefully picking out things to wear, and heads to the changing rooms. He's lucky that there are no security cameras in them. Not that I would purposely try to spy on him.

He wears a variety of different clothes, all of which look good on him. Maybe it's his fashion sense, or maybe he just looks that good. The last thing he puts on is this beautiful black dress. He spins around in it and giggles, just barely avoiding tripping over himself. He sits down and sighs. "I hope you enjoyed that as much as me!" He's so strange. No fear, no shame. He… intrigues me. If that's the right word.

Eventually he puts his duffel bag down and unzips it. Just as I expected, It's carrying cans of spray paint. This is the point that I'd usually chase him out, but at this point I'm just as curious of him as he is of me. Most people just tag my skin or draw a phallus with a sharpie, but occasionally there are some dedicated artists. And this boy just screams dedicated.

Eventually I notice that he's painting a person. Not just any person. He's painting me. It's unmistakably me. He even puts my name in the corner instead of a signature. He holds up this rectangular device that I've seen a few times before, and I assume he takes a picture of it. Is he making a memorial of me? Why would anyone want to do that? Why would you want to paint some random degenerate who died in the 80s? I know I shouldn't, but I need to know more. I need to know why. I block off any potential escape routes with my wires, and I start approaching him. He's oblivious at first, but eventually he notices me. I try to speak but nothing comes out. Nothing but an incomprehensible screech. He seems a little shocked, but he still doesn't run. Not that I would let him. Not anymore.

"Is that really you? I mean, I knew you were haunting this place, but I didn't think I'd get to see you," he says, his voice shaky. I nod my head. How much does he know? Does he realize how disgusting I am. If so, why? Why would he make this large mural of me? I don't deserve it! He gets close and grabs me by the shoulders. He seems almost surprised that he is able to touch me. I am as well. Why is he touching me? How is he touching me? Now that he's closer I start noticing all the little details that get lost on the cameras. The little freckles that dot his face. His wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. Honestly, he's pretty cute. Dangerously cute. He's just my type. If my heart could still beat, it would be racing. But I quickly shut that thought down. It's thoughts like those that put me in this situation. Besides, he would never be that way, right? Especially not for me. I'm nothing but a monster, both in life, and in death.

Even so, he starts speaking, "I need you to know that you didn't deserve what happened to you. You deserved love, and joy, and everything else in between. I need you to know things got better for people like us. It's not perfect, but we can now get married, and we're much less likely to be killed for who we are. It got better." What is he talking about? Us? Does that mean he is like me? He starts hugging me. He feels so warm. "I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You really deserve better." He pushes away. "Sorry for touching you so suddenly."

I once again try to speak, this time without straining. The music stops playing and instead my voice comes out. I guess I'm still learning stuff about myself. "Are… you… like… me? I… don't… under… stand. Why… so… kind?"

He replies "Yes, I am gay. I wouldn't say I have the best life, but things have gotten better for us. I just wish you could have experienced it."

I just can't handle it. He's so beautiful, and so interesting, and he's like me. I know it's a bad idea, but I really want to kiss him. I want to experience what all those couples that come here do. I just want to be happy.

"Can… I… kiss… you?" Even just a second after I ask the question I start to regret it. I just met him and I'm a monster.

"I- oh- uh," he stutters. I knew I shouldn't have asked. I move my wires out of the way so he can escape. "Wow, sorry, I just didn't expect that. I- sure, I can kiss you." Why?! Why is he like this? He's blushing! He's so cute! But is he just doing it because he feels bad?

"Do… you… pity… me?" I ask

"No. I just think that you deserve better." He goes up to me and puts his hand on my face. Our lips touch, and I feel something I've never felt before. I love him. I know I just met him. I know I don't even know his name. But I still love him. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he isn't afraid of me. Maybe it's because of his curiosity and optimism. Maybe it's because I enjoyed watching him dance to the music and play the arcade games. Maybe it's because he is the only one who has ever seemed to care about me in this mall. Maybe it's just because he's cute. But either way, for the first time in forever, I feel loved. For the first time in forever, I feel like I'm allowed to love and be loved. Years of being called disgusting, and yet now I feel beautiful. I wrap my arms around him. The music in the mall has finally looped back around to "Love is a Battlefield" and I start to truly listen to the lyrics and feel them in my heart. I feel as though they describe us at this moment.

We are young

Heartache to heartache

We stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

We are strong

Noone can tell us we're wrong

Searching our hearts for so long

Both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

[g-gurokisses]

ive been okay !!! truly lots of changes :P .. i found someone that actually likes me as much as i like him lol. we spend all our time together,, we both get jealous when we hang out w our friends but its okay cuz we js call right after. its like finally i am not the only one doing the obsessing..

its so nice it doesnt even feel like im obsessed!!! cuz so is he :P. at first i thought it wld just fade on his end as it usually does, and then i thought id feel smothered and want him gone but.. its been like four months i think and were still the same.

the only thing i wld change is if i could just finally make it Oficial lol. but, im waiting for certain things to fall into place for that first. still cant wait tho :3

i like him so much.. i love him So much. its funny, ive never met someone so normal yet so weird. he gets everything i say but he doesnt get it like i do,, but he gets it in a way nobody ever has before. he gets me,, its like he knows me yk?. i hope we get far, i dont ever wanna be away from him.

– く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

Thank you for sharing this with me!!

Oh this is wonderful, just wonderful!! I'm so happy to hear that my dear! Success stories are always the best part of this blog! This truly warms my heart ♡

Doesn't it feel amazing to finally feel loved and understood, even when you thought you'd never get love? It's amazing!! And I hope anyone who reads this realizes that time and patience will get you far, everyone finds someone eventually!!

Frankly I also had my phase where I thought I was unlovable, or that relationships weren't for me. I even thought, for a moment, that friendships could replace relationships! People who have been following me for a while and read my posts a lot might remember that... Quite embarrassing when I look back now! Tehehehe~

Now of course, that might very much be the case for some, and there's nothing wrong with that, but for yearning and love-filled people like me that just doesn't cut it!

Now you know what it's like to have someone who genuinely loves you! Someone who needs you and is infatuated just like you! My dear beloved and I are often too much for the average person, but we're perfect for each other. I've never had someone be exactly what I wanted like that, and I'm guessing you feel the same!!

That is to say, I'm so happy for you!!! And I wish you both the absolute best, even tho I already know you're starting off by a great start!! I can sense this relationship will do wonders for you.

And for the rest of my dear lovely readers, don't give up! Know your worth, know how much your love is valuable and NEVER settle for someone who underappreciates you. Communication is key, but if you ever feel unwanted and unloved and talking doesn't work; Please, put yourself first. You don't owe anyone anything, and that inclues you too.

As someone who was stuck in a tiring and unreciprocated friendship for years, I regret not realizing how little that person cared about me.

Remember, the right person will never make you feel inadequate!!

But most importantly, remember that I LOVE YOU~ ♡♡

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Welp. For the sake of sharing, what I found in my control f searching of Fazbear Frights flavoured Tubehell that had interesting sounding minor animatronics in them on the wiki... is that robotics classes are extremely common in the fnaf universe. And here's the information on minor animatronics I got:

The Breaking Wheel has three described animatronics. A monkey, a spider skeleton and a horse skeleton. The monkey is your typical monkey that smashes cymbals together thing, and is used to shut the classroom up. The spider is an exoskeleton of a spider and climbs the wall to put lightbulb stickers next to people's names on a participation chart thingo. The horse is also an exoskeleton thing, and whenever the teacher wants to demonstrate a type of actuator thing, she has it trot between the rows of desks. Very cool for a classroom! Not sure I'd get much use out of that, but I just think they're neat!

Together Forever has a bunch of lil guys and Rosie Porkchop who isn't a minor animatronic. Rosie is a springlock suit that some dipshit teacher just hands over to his two teenage students with no warning except the papers or whatever that came with her so you can probably guess where that's going. She's a fuzzy pig in a pink, frilly made costume, and has a massive stomach compartment that can house two teenagers, so she's doing better than Glam Freddy on that one lmao. Also she's fucking huge. She's neat.

The minor animatronics in Together Forever are annoyingly described in one big clump, except weirdly the flamingo. They're all bipedal, and have different accessories and articles of clothing, but who has what outside of the random ass flamingo is unspecified. There's alien looking things, cats, dogs, a cow, a horse, an orangutan and a goat. The flamingo wears shorts and suspenders, and one of the dogs has a yellow jumper. They're all described as being small, and a couple wear bow ties and vests, two wear feather boas, one wears a bowler hat, one wears stripey socks and one wears red gloves. Who wears what? No idea! Outside that, they're apparently old and considered vintage, but all of them are still repairable, so there's that.

And then of course, Felix the Shark has Felix the Shark lmao. Big guy. Huge. Shark shaped, blueish grey, rubbery skin, smooth and shiny, with a lotta teeth and playful yet sad dark eyes. But ya know, when the dumbass protag finds him, those eyes are empty and dead, the skin is tattered, peeling off in stripes that leave holes that show the corroded endoskeleton, and his teeh are rusty as fuck. One eye is black and hanging out the socket too. Beloved sharky boy.

And there's my findings! Felix was rescued from Tubehell a long time ago, but now I'm nabbing the unloved other guys. They're mine now. What am I gonna do with them? No idea. I'll think of something.