#I'm just talking about something utterly unrelated because its better than feeling what I'm feeling now

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[bicon-crange]

anyways going nuts about this again

IM SO BAD AT THIS STUFF IM SO BAD AT IT ITS UNREAL!!! GAH!!

I literally feel like a middle schooler or something. I'm getting jealous over tiny petty things, I'm getting angry over nothing and going FINE! if they dont want to talk to me I'll just ignore them!! I'm doing that thing where I like. bully. In this case all in a playful way and among friends but GAH I feel so so so bad for doing it at all.

Like maybe it IS better if I just don't talk to them if I'm going to be mean. I dont even know why I'm doing it!! what do I want out of this?? attention or something?? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME.

ITS SO STUPID!!! And again its like I feel like I'm just. watching myself do all this and screaming at myself like WHAT ARE YOU DOOOINGGGG!!!

ugh. I mean, I think I'm handling all these immature feelings like an adult yknow? I start to get mad or jealous and I realize that and distance myself. Go on my own a little bit. I dont take it out on them or anybody else. I'm doing my best to respect this person and remember their boundaries and agh! AGHHH I just feel so stupid and immature and lame for even FEELING like that to begin with, for ACTING like that even if its friendly.

On top of that, people who AREN'T me have started to notice. Like. I brought it up to my therapist and ONE sentence in she was like OH YOURE TOTALLY SMITTEN!! like girl yes but i didnt even TELL YOU THAT YET. It makes me worry that I'm being so totally obvious. Like, I'm under the impression right now that they have NO idea, which is GREAT!!

But god if they knew this whole time and are just completely and utterly uninterested and just watching me make a fool of myself? HOW FUCKING MORTIFYING!!! HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!! GODDDD.

side note;unrelated, I'm thinking of setting up a screentime limit on my phone because this is the THIRD WEEKEND IN A ROW where i have just sat for an hour+ and reread our conversation over and over and not done anything else. LIKE!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THAT!! There's an 100% chance that they DON'T do this and that they DON'T think itll be cute or charming or sweet or what fucking ever. BECAUSE ITS WEIRD AND ITS CREEPY AND UGHHHHH. UGH.

I have thought more than once this week about just telling them. Yknow just ripping that bandaid off and getting rejected and moving on. Unfortunately for me! My therapist advised against it. She said I should sit with this longer to see if I even like them. I say that I'm stuck in this dumb little prison and I'd like to just get out now, but she's the professional, not me.

[bat-connoisseur]

I remember white walls. Or perhaps they were blue? The light was white, the soft white of daylight, and the sheets were white too, the sterile white of hospital linen. The ceiling was probably white, once, but had yellowed in that way plasterboard ceilngs had a tendancy too. I never saw the floor. In all honesty, I never even saw the walls, or even the room, I just have a vauge impression of white-or-blue walls, and a memory of natural light on a yellowing ceiling. To this day I'm not even sure if I saw the sheets. Maybe they were blue.

The whole memory is hazy. There are lots of things I know, even if I don't strictly remember them. I know I was pale, my face swollen, eyes puffy. I had been laying on my front, after all. I know that this time, all the lines came out without issue. The first time I was in that room, one particular cannula came out and just didn't want to stop bleeding. I don't remember how long they applied pressure, or how long it took for someone to dash and find a pressure dressing. I don't remember how it healed, or when the dressing came off, even though those came later. I don't remember the first time all that much at all. I do remember the scar it left, a little white pinprick on already white skin, sitting just above a faint blue line on my wrist.

But this isn't about that.

I know the second time I was in that room, I talked. I couldn't tell you what about. Perhaps they were just trying to gauge my awareness, see how I was coming around. I know one of the nurses gave me a chocolate coin, for later. I couldn't have kept it down at the time, and I don't remember why she gave it to me.

Of course, these half-memories of light and colours and people are peripherary to the memories attached to the overwhelming fear I was feeling at the time. Its the same fear, accross both memories, although the first time, perhaps, it was worse. I hadn't considered it before now, but I would imagine having a little hole in an artery bleeding blood that doesn't want to clot would make everything feel worse.

The fear was simple, creeping and terrifying in its certainty. You see, coming around from general anaestetic has a couple of side effects, one of which being that you drift off to sleep very, very easily. It makes sense, right? Unfortunatley- and I don't know if this was the painkillers or what, but every time I began to drift off to sleep, my breathing would become shallow, and... something would begin to drop. You see, another thing I remember are monitors, beeping, making sure I'm alright. And every lapse in conciousness was accompanied by concerned beeping. A long tone to indicate that something was amiss. I may have been groggy and confused, but I knew what it meant.

And it was terrifying. I thought I was going to die. The simple fear of death every time i started to feel myself drift off. I fought to keep myself awake desipte there being very little to do about it with the intensity of someone fighting to keep themselves alive, because I thought I was. In my mind, to sleep was to die.

Honestly, i think fear is too weak of a word. Terror feels more fitting. It was terror. I remember it as clear as day, that feeling. I had been fourteen for no longer than two weeks, and I was convinced I was going to die. I had less than 6 months before my 18th birthday, and I was sure I was going to die, some fearful, unconcious death, in a room I can't describe surrounded by people I didn't know. My face swollen, and a neat line of stitches all the way down my back.

There is a difference, I think, in dying suddenly and simply slipping away. One implies some kind of accident, some freak event, and one sounds soft and gentle, death like a warm bath, rather than the ocean at the bottom of cliffs.

But I think, given the choice, I would choose the cliffs. There is little more terrifying than feeling yourself simply just.... dissapating, like a drop of blood in a stream. Clinging, barely concious, to the sides of the slide on a ride you didn't even want to embark, dehyrated, in pain.

The memories are unpleasent. I think about them, sometimes, but I don't know why. A soft haze with something sharp within. All I associate with the recovery room are terror and the gentle, white light through windows I never even saw, that I don't know even existed.

Was it sunlight? Or was I just hoping I wouldn't die under artificial fluorecence?

[artpharos]

5 7 9 15 for Bedehop, 3 19 23 26 for MerSoda (yes I'm specific)

you ask for a lot [asks here]

BedeHop

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

They like spending time together learning about Pokemon, as it's something of a common interest- as a gym leader, Bede likes learning more about various types of Pokemon for battling knowledge, while Hop wants to learn more about Pokemon to help both them and their trainers. Even when they're just hanging out, sometimes the conversation turns to the new things Hop learns about Pokemon. Bede's more than happy to let his boyfriend ramble on, filing away the knowledge for future use, but really just enjoying how happy Hop is, and how his eyes shine bright like stars when he's talking about the Pokemon they both love.

They also enjoy the quiet moments of just being together- stealing moments away from the gym or the research lab or the league, where they can just be themselves without being attached to their titles. Hop likes to comb Bede's hair as they laze quietly in the sunlight, and even if he won't say it, Bede really enjoys the intimacy/affection in that act. 

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them. 

"I love you."

Hop grins as Bede flushes, deep red standing in stark contrast to his pale skin. The gym leader doesn't spare him a glance, focusing on the book he's reading. Curled up next to him on the couch, the words feel so obvious, so unnecessary. But they never fail to prompt Bede's scowl, the blush across his skin.

Hop chuckles. Three simple words, and Bede's so easily shaken. The fairy gym leader rarely responds in kind, but he would never grow tired of watching Bede's many, many reactions to his quiet confessions.

This time, however, Bede peers over the spine of his book. "If you keep saying that, one day it'll lose its charm," he mutters.

"Then I'll find something else to say to catch you off-guard." Hop winks, and a strangled groan of displeasure emits from his partner, but whatever expression Bede has is hidden by his raised book.

"I'd rather you didn't," Bede returns at last, his voice sharp and cutting. 

"Why's that?"

Lavender eyes glower at him over the book. The struggle on Bede's face is obvious as his partner debates answering the question. 

He chuckles, nudges Bede's knee with his own. "You like it when I tell you I love you, don't you?"

"I-I do not!" Bede sputters. Then his eyes widen, and he swallows. "That's- that is to say-"

"So you don't like it when I tell you I love you?"

Bede's eyes narrow, but his face is completely red. "You're cruel," he snaps back. 

"Am I?" Hop wiggles his eyebrows.

Then Bede slams his book on the table, grabs him by the collar, and kisses him. Fierce and unrelenting and bold.

When he parts, Bede eyes him with a faint smirk, and Hop realizes he's gaping, gasping, blown away by the man in his arms. 

"Did I catch you off-guard?" he teases. 

Hop grins, bright and wide. "I love you."

And with a strangled groan, Bede kisses him again. 

9. Have they made each other cry?

Oh Bede has most certainly made Hop cry. He won't admit it, of course, but there were some nights during his gym challenge that he ends up staring at his Rotom phone and crying, wondering what his goals and dreams are. 

Even after they reconcile and start dating, Bede's still sharp with his words and sometimes in the heat of the moment, he lashes out and hurts Hop. Sometimes Hop retaliates, and that usually ends up with Hop hiding his tears as he storms off, and Bede being overwhelmed with guilt to the point that he starts crying as he apologizes. Then they end up apologizing and hugging each other and crying probably.

But not all the crying is sad crying like... Sometimes they feel so happy and accepted by the other they just end up crying against each other's shoulders. Hop would loop his arms around Bede and hold him close, while Bede's the one who would make a snarky remark before kissing Hop's tears away.  

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Hop doesn't like Bede's judgemental attitude, especially since that was what caused him so much grief to begin with. Sure, Bede works on it, but he also has a stubborn streak of going all uppity "I know I'm right" as an attempt to win an argument, and his competitive streak makes Hop's head go crazy sometimes. 

As much as he loves Hop, Bede doesn't quite appreciate Hop's high-energy enthusiasm and open, trusting nature at times. Also, since Hop's also as stubborn as his Dubwool, Bede knows that he has to constantly advise caution and be Hop's voice of reason if he decides to do something reckless. He appreciates that Hop trusts him and values his words, though, and learns that he has to trust that his boyfriend knows what he's doing.

MerSoda (seriously??? I'm like only 10% in the story this is definitely spoiler territory you asked for this)

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

On the surface level, Lambda would probably praise Sophie's looks and how she's able to do just about anything she sets her mind to. Sophie would probably think that Lambda's tenacity is something to be admired, and she probably thinks that he's not THAT vicious and scary for an underwater sea monster witch child. 

But deep down, I think they'd both admire each other's ability to be kind- mostly because it's a facet of the other they never realized existed until push comes to shove. Lambda realizes that Sophie doesn't have to be gentle/nice to him, and her kindness is something that spurs him to do better; be better. And when she sees Lambda going out of his way to be a good person and help others in need with his magic, especially her, Sophie realizes that it's something she loves about Lambda as well.  

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

Not gonna list names since I hope you can guess who says who. 

"I will love you with all my heart and soul, as eternal and unrelenting as the sea."

"I will sing for you, to comfort you and to tell you I love you, even if you do not wish to listen."

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

The sea is beautiful at night. Hauntingly familiar, utterly forbidden. The waves crash against the pier in a taunting rhythm. Dangerous. Enticing. 

If Sophie lets herself imagine, she can feel the water against her skin, the currents flowing through her hair. The sound of the ocean, echoing forever in her dreams. 

She shivers. She rarely comes out to watch the sea, but tonight, its draw is too much for her to ignore. So she stands at the edge, peering into its depths, remembering. Who she was, who she can be again. Who she sometimes longs to be, if she just dipped her foot into the waves.

But she gave that all up for a reason. Behind her, in her father's hut, she remembers the warmth of everything she longs for, that she still wishes she could have. The chance she was given. She takes in a deep breath. Moves away from the edge. 

Then a heavy wave slams into the pier. She gasps, her feet slipping, and suddenly the water rushes up to meet her-

She squeezes her eyes shut. Her heart drops. Then suddenly, something wraps around her torso and jerks her back. Presses her against a warm shirt, a solid body.

Lambda's red eyes watch her.

She freezes. Not only from the proximity. There's so many things she'd want to say to him, so many things she'd want to hate about him. So many words she'd never voice. 

And then he sighs as he releases his grip. His lips are pursed together, and his shoulders are tense as he drops his hands. He watches her, waiting.

She knows she should head back inside. Be more careful in the future. But there's something in his eyes- a flicker, reflected in the scant moonlight.

It's cruel irony that he's the only one who understands.

He doesn't say anything when she takes a step closer, rests her head against his slender chest. Breathes, smelling the sea on his skin and remembering the light of his scales. 

She doesn't move when tentative hands rest awkwardly on her shoulders, holding her until the moon sets. 

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection?

Considering both of them are pretty touch starved, just being close to one another is like being anchored, a reminder that they aren't alone. 

Lambda, having lived in the cold ocean depths for all his life, likes the sensation of a warm body next to him, and while he's unaccustomed to touch, considering Sophie can't speak, it says a lot whenever she touches him; whether it's by tending to his wounds or if she's just holding his hand. 

Sophie's a fighter, and has fought for everything all her life. Yet, when Lambda holds her close, when he lets her body sag against him, she finds that she can relax, can close her eyes and breathe. Even though he was once her worst enemy, he holds her with such careful gentility that she knows he will never hurt her. That he will always protect her and keep her safe.