#I'm just sorta cheating my way through this training

[darkdragon768]

Once again proofed that I suck at group work, especially when I'm in a group with people who take it very seriously, give it their all and actually understand what they are doing and what's wanted. I always try to escape responsibilities and research by saying I'll create the handout but this time this really backfired, together with my procrastinating and sending stuff in too late.

I want this day to be over.

[peakbys]

TAILORED

Pairing(s): Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader, Luca Changretta x Wife!Reader Summary: Your little double life starts to unravel when your husband shows up to avenge his father. Request: Yes. Sorta.             → @alana000 requested the reader in a love triangle between Tommy and Luca, I ended up combining that with my idea for Tommy's poll result and my brain kind of just ran away with it. So, it may not be exactly what was requested but I hope it's enjoyable regardless. 😅 Warnings: Long post, cheating, tension, mentions of arranged marriages, poor Italian, friends to lovers to enemies (if you want to interpret it that way, ending is left as it is.) Eye contact (for the gif?) Note: This is hard to wrap up in a one-shot, so I'm sorry if the ending is less than ideal. Still, I've been working on this thing for weeks so I hope you all enjoy.

You had just wanted to ride horses. 

Of course, life was never so simple, yet it really didn’t need to be as complicated as it was currently. You had left America feeling uncertain, but excited. You wrote back home whenever you could, especially once you managed to make a bit of a name for yourself in horse racing. Really, you wanted to move onto training, yet you knew you could race those horses too. It was extra money, of course, but something you earned on your own. It wasn’t passed down from your family, your husband’s family. Though, in hindsight, you had to wonder if this really was the place you were going to end up all along. 

When you had made a bit of a reputation, it brought the attention of some people that operated in a way you were all too familiar with. Crime was in your family, and it was certainly in the one you married into. It didn’t take long to figure out what was being asked of you when you were asked to take the fall sometimes. Horses lost races, yet that didn’t mean that you couldn’t benefit. At least, that was how it had been explained to you back when your pride was too stubborn to accept that you’d participate in fixed races.

Yet, the opportunities got harder to turn down after a while. 

Your involvement with the Peaky Blinders was something you left out of your letters outside of vague gesturing toward ‘buyers’ and ‘bosses.’ 

Tommy Shelby was definitely a person you didn’t write back home about, as much as he was a very common face in your life over the last couple of years. In a strange way, Tommy had a demeanor that was overly familiar too. You had associated it with controlled movements, sharp grins and the chewing of a toothpick. With him, it was a neutral expression and a stare that felt like he was looking through you at points. Yet, both your husband and Tommy had the same commanding air that pulled your attention to them as soon as they stepped into a room. 

Outside of the wounded pride that came from losing a race you were certain you could win, that alone had almost been enough to call off working with him. You had more than enough of that back in America, and you didn’t want it here for however long you were planning on staying. 

Though, Tommy proved up to your expectations in that he was very hard to ignore. 

It had started off friendly enough–professional, despite the nature of what you were doing. More races won, a few lost with a wad of cash tossed into your lap with a vaguely smug look also tossed your way. It was profitable, so it was easy to stick with. Tommy brought horses to you, sometimes, too. Beautiful creatures. If there was something that easily bonded you to Tommy, it was the horses. The conversations got easier and more frequent. Longer, too. You could remember the mild surprise that crossed your expression when he asked about something more personal than the horses and the races. 

That was what had you both sitting outside your little ranch home that you were living out of currently, talking about your family, America. Your late brother, especially, given that he had passed in the war and Tommy revealed that he had fought as well. Your brother had joined in hopes that maybe it would be something noble–something that wasn’t crime and making his living from getting involved with the families in New York. Dying in a trench so far from the people who loved and knew him didn’t seem very noble in your mind, especially with the memory of how your mother wailed when she got the news. 

Yet, you got a sense of understanding from Tommy that you hadn’t expected to find. It opened the door to some…very troubling feelings. 

You had initially tried to dismiss them as the similarities with your husband causing you to feel homesick, but that really wasn’t the case and you knew early on that you were lying to yourself about that. Given that the majority of letters that you wrote back home were to your mother-in-law, outside of the odd one you got directly from your husband when it seemed like he had the time, it was hard to ignore the growing distance that had festered. It had lingered in the background before you left America, and it only grew once the physical distance was there. 

Still, you had been quick to state that you were a married woman when it felt like Tommy was catching on to your conflict. Didn’t change much, however–it was a weakening defense and you both knew that. 

It resulted in a moment of weakness that haunted you, one that had your loneliness and conflicting emotions taking control. When it came to money, you knew things could get rough. In the back of your mind, you knew there could be some volatile tempers. Yet, you figured some people might not take that out on the riders. 

A man cornering you in the stable one night proved you wrong about that, however. Your feet barely scraping against the stable floor, his hands wrapped around your throat while you tried to talk him down through what little space he gave your windpipe. Between the pressure on your neck and the tightness in your chest from your lungs begging for more air, Tommy’s arrival was lost on you until the man released his hands from around your neck. 

You could remember the way you crumpled onto the ground, coughing harshly and gasping in air. You had registered the threats uttered and the shine of Tommy’s pistol, yet it wasn’t until he helped pull you to your feet that reality had come back around to you. 

–

“Come on. Sit over here.” 

You were used to his usual calm, straightforward approach to most things, yet at the moment it seemed at least vaguely caring. It was hard to tell with Tommy, yet you didn’t have the energy to really dig too deeply into that. As much as your pride wanted you to hold your head up and shake off the guiding hand on your arm, you were focused on trying to still the racing of your heart and ease the tightness in your chest. 

“He really wasn’t here to talk,” you commented once you were sitting down in a chair, holding a hand to your neck still. “I should’ve known better.” 

“Don’t think it would’ve stopped him any,” Tommy replied, “Least I’m not down a good rider.” 

“I appreciate the concern,” you commented around a bitter huff, though the touch of amusement in his gaze settled that feeling easily enough. 

“I was comin’ by to give you this, anyway,” Tommy continued after pulling up a chair and passing over your cut of the winnings from the race. “Just in time, too.” 

You nodded lightly, carding lightly through the cash as you counted quickly in your head. Something you had always done since you started working for him–suspicious at first, more like a force of habit now. In the current moment, however, it was more like an excuse to not have to look at him while every swallow and movement of your head reminded you of the forming bruises that you’d have to cover for the next while. 

It had never been in you to enjoy being rescued, yet you certainly knew that could have been worse if he didn’t show up when he did. You could feel a ‘thank you’ forming on the tip of your tongue the more you thought on it, though the feeling of his fingers under your jaw had you stilling. He tilted your head up somewhat, the action pulling a small wince from you as he examined the marks on your neck. 

Your gaze remained locked on his face as he did so and even after he shifted his hand to let you lower your head again. The tight feeling in your gut cropped up again, a familiar sensation when you looked at Tommy these days. A fluttering feeling that was both familiar and unfamiliar in a sense. Something that you had talked yourself into feeling over time with your husband, yet with Tommy it had formed on its own. 

It scared a part of you, yet you found yourself unable to pull away. Especially when you felt his hand shift along the back of your neck, a few seconds of hesitation and a sinking feeling until his mouth pressed against your own. 

If it had been you who leaned in to kiss him or if he crossed that line himself, you didn’t know. Yet, you found yourself returning it all the same, a hand coming up to cup the side of his face. You lost track of reality for a few moments–it was just you and Tommy, his lips, his tongue. His hands on your shoulders, waist, lower back. The excitement about the kiss made your gut twist, heat in your face. There was relief in there, too. 

Finally, you felt like someone wanted you. You weren’t an obligation, or worse a charity case. Your first kiss hadn’t been forced, yet it felt more like it was something you should do. To prove a point, an intention. It wasn’t like this with your husband. 

That thought hit hard, sinking into you like a heavy stone just as you could feel both your own and Tommy’s hands venturing further. You were married–and kissing your boss in the stable of a racetrack while your husband was an ocean away. 

Shame burned hot in your gut as you pushed Tommy back, standing quickly to put some distance between the two of you. The look he shot you was calm, as if he expected this. Your marriage wasn’t a secret, he knew what he was doing too. 

“I…shouldn’t have done that,” you said after a few moments, tucking your earnings into a pocket. “Thank you for the help, Mr. Shelby. Goodnight.” 

–

Naturally, you didn’t talk to him much after. You wanted to, the thoughts tumbling around in your head, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to. The situation didn’t stop you from feeling relieved about his attention shifting away from the races after a while, however. You still raced, listened to the directions that would come in about certain horses and races. Things were normal, stable, and it was like you could just forget what happened. Things were calm. That was, until word got back to America that Sabini was having issues in London. It was a bit of a surprise to you that you weren’t asked to get involved. At the time, that is. 

It was something that was brought up in some of the letters–more of a warning at first, just keeping you informed in case you did need to make a move in the name of your husband’s family. You usually weren’t set to do those things, however, so you didn’t expect much outside of a possible trip to London to see what information you could get from the Italians there. 

That was, until your brother-in-law was killed. Things were a bit of a blur after that. 

Everything had escalated well beyond anything you had imagined and it seemed unavoidable how the two sides of your life were now overlapping. 

It was what had you pacing around the lavish room that you had been told to move to. It was very similar to the one that you had stayed in when you had joined your husband for a family wedding. The very event that put the idea of moving away from America for a couple years to begin with. 

A maid had been in and out over the last couple of hours, leaving you food and drink when you asked but otherwise gave you a polite distance. You appreciated that, despite the fact that no amount of food or tea could settle your nerves. 

You hadn’t unpacked, your little suitcase sitting by the door. It would look a little odd, you knew that, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

All you could do was wait, wondering how all of this would play out. The letter had been vague, just the address that he said he’d be staying at and that you should be moved there by the current date. It didn’t do anything to reassure you, obviously. A part of you just wanted to know. Another part of you just wanted to see him–as if seeing your husband would clear all the muck from your head and it would be easier to think. 

So, naturally, you were jumpy by the time you heard the door open. The maid always knocked, so it was clear who it was. 

Luca hadn’t changed much in the three years you had been away, dressed in his typical dark attire. Expensive, tailor-made and you knew how much he seemed to care about his appearance. That had initially struck you as pompous when you had first met him, yet you had quickly grown used to how connected his family was and it seemed to be more so about bragging about his family’s reputation. You knew it pleased him when you humored the expensive clothing and gifts–a little less common as the years passed, you had noted. 

At the moment, you couldn’t help but feel almost…underdressed. A number of things had changed, in more ways than one. You still didn’t know how you felt about the situation or what you even felt in the moment you saw him again. 

Regardless, you worked up a somewhat tight grin and approached him, Luca removing his hat to place on the desk nearby. 

The rings on his fingers were cold as he cupped your face, pulling you in to press a lingering kiss to your mouth. Your hands came up to rest on his wrists, finding an odd sense of comfort in the familiarity of it. Yet, it was lacking now. You knew that. The memories of Tommy that cropped up made that sharp edge of shame known in your gut, yet you still managed to keep the small grin on your face as Luca pulled back. 

“Carissima,” he said, hands still cradling your face as he ran his thumbs along your cheeks, “Non sei invecchiato di un giorno.” 

“Nemmeno tu,” you replied, the words heavy and cumbersome on your tongue. Luckily, Luca just grinned, dropping his hands to wag a light-hearted finger at you. 

“You promised me you’d still practice your Italian.” 

“I don’t get to use it often,” you replied, “Not a lot of Italian speakers around.” 

“Should’a listened to me about movin’ to London,” Luca commented, “Be with the family. Though…well, maybe it was good you didn’t.” 

“Right…” 

You let out a soft exhale through your nose, watching as he circled around the desk slowly as if he was looking for something. The atmosphere shifted as soon as the topic was brought up, your gaze following his movements as you tried to gather together something to say about it all. Killed his brother, his father, and you weren’t naive enough to believe that he was there to drag you back to America. Luca glanced back up at you, almost studying you for a moment. 

“Ma’s told me a few things she’s learned about you, too,” Luca stated, a cold sweat breaking out across the back of your neck as your heart jumped. 

Still, you held his gaze, expression impassive. It didn’t seem likely that she would know about what happened while you were staying overseas, yet it didn’t ease the feeling like you were looking down the barrel of a gun. 

“I told her quite a bit in my letters–you, too. In the ones you read, at least,” you replied, crossing your arms as he moved to lean against the front of the desk. 

“Left out some details,” Luca said, “How you’re racin’ horses in the tracks managed by the Peaky Blinders.” 

“It’s hard not to if you’re looking to fix races,” you said with a nod, feeling that tight not in your stomach loosen somewhat. “I didn’t make it a habit to dip my hand in that. When your horses get a reputation, there’s some interest. I might have been approached, but I can’t say I’ve had any personal interactions with them.” 

“No Tommy Shelby?”

“Not personally,” you lied, “I know of him.” 

He met your gaze without a reply for a few moments, arms crossed in a way that almost mirrored your own. A part of you wondered why you were protecting Tommy–of course, you didn’t want Luca to know of certain details, but clearly you didn’t swear any loyalty to him or his gang. Yet, you did so anyway. Luca eventually nodded lightly, pressing his lips together in thought for a moment before he stood up to approach you once again. 

“I was hopin’ you might have some information that might make this easier, but you’re just racin’ horses.” 

You could almost hear a touch of something to his tone, yet it didn’t seem he was willing to make that clear or say what he was thinking. It didn’t sit all that nice, but you figured if he was suspicious of you, you would’ve known. (You hoped.) Still, you gave him what you hoped was a convincing enough apologetic smile as you reached out to rest your hand on his cheek. 

“I know what you’re here to do. I wish I could give you more information than that,” you said, “As I said when I left, I didn’t want any involvement in that business and it’s been kept that way. If I had known…” 

“I wouldn’t want you catchin’ a bullet anyway,” Luca replied, “Though, you remember anythin’ or might be leavin’ anythin’ out…” 

“I’ll tell you,” you said with a small grin, “I wouldn’t want you catching a bullet.” 

“They can try,” he stated before pressing a kiss to the side of your head, “Quicker this is done, quicker we can get back home.” 

You hummed in response, not quite agreement. As much as you were uncertain about the outcome of all of this, you had a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be dealt with so quickly. 

*****

As much as you knew you shouldn’t be out by yourself, especially with the fact that this vendetta business could escalate at any moment, you didn’t think too much of it. 

There was an issue with one of your horses back where you were staying, and you knew suddenly disappearing would look odd to anybody who was paying attention. You were on edge and alert, yet you figured it would be best to look as if things were business as usual. Family was visiting, you were staying in a hotel. 

Yet, you couldn’t help but notice the quietness of the home. If there was an issue, you figured there would be a few different people running around. You frowned as you pulled up to the property, noticing that the stable was empty. You clenched your hands around the steering wheel of the car, ready to pull out at a moments notice. Though, the familiar figure standing outside the home, near the very chairs you had sat in when you chatted over the years. 

You debated leaving, but thought better of it. While it seemed unlikely that he didn’t know the people he was up against, you didn’t want to appear too suspicious if he hadn’t pieced together your involvement. 

Regardless, your approach was guarded, eyeing Tommy with a questioning gaze as he moved to step down from the porch. 

“Long time since I’ve seen you last,” you greeted, “...It’s very quiet out here for the emergency I was told to come see.” 

“Right…” Tommy replied, his expression unreadable as he approached you. “I had to get your attention somehow. Someone here said you are staying elsewhere for a few days.” 

“Family’s in the country for a while,” you replied casually enough, “I didn’t want to drive back and forth.” 

“Family. Well, I guess you really should see this, then,” Tommy stated, finally pulling a hand out of one of his coat pockets. 

He extended what looked like a photo, folded at a particular edge. You paused for a moment, looking into his impassive stare before you reached out to take it. 

Unfolding it completely, you were greeted with a wedding photo filled with familiar faces. The family wedding from a couple years ago, a seemingly routine celebration for the most part at the time. For the Changrettas, at least. Of course, standing just along the folded crease was you standing next to Luca, a faint smile on your face with your arm interlocked with his own. You had only seen the photo once when you had returned to New York after the wedding, yet it really turned out to be a terrible reminder that you weren’t as well hidden as you thought sometimes. 

“I did tell you I was married,” you stated, finally glancing up to meet Tommy’s gaze, “Though, with what your family’s done, I guess this really changes quite a few contexts.” 

“My family…” he repeated, you catching a glimpse in his expression that you never really saw. It was sharp, angry. It had you propping a foot back in case you needed to step away from him as he stepped a little closer to you. “Your family…killed me wife and my brother.” 

“Yes. You killed my husband’s father and brother. Spared his mother, which was a mistake. If you’re here to kill me to think you’ll get a leg up in this, I wouldn’t. Luca’s old fashioned–wants this done by tradition. As I’m sure you know. Yet, you kill me, I can’t say he’ll not just put a bullet in your head on principle. Considering you had to lure me out here, you have no idea where he is, right?” 

He didn’t say anything, lingering close as you looked up at him. As much as you knew he could kill you where you stood–there was enough spilled blood on his side to warrant it. Yet, there was that part of you that was fond of him. Felt something–might not have been deep or fully developed. It might never be. Yet, you knew you had a bit of a leverage here. You knew how to survive–keep your head down, do things for the sake of connecting your family, and taking advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves. 

“I like you, and I didn’t come to this country with the intention of getting wrapped up in a vendetta between you and my husband’s family,” you continued, “So, I’ll say this. I’m not here to be your enemy, yet I will do whatever I need to in order to get out of this alive. Luca, on the other hand, knows how to hate and will not stop until one of you is dead.” 

“I don’t need a lecture on the vendetta,” Tommy stated, “If you have no involvement, you’re a citizen in my eyes. I would be very careful about crossing that line.” 

“I’d be careful about crossing Luca Changretta,” you replied, “As it stands, I don’t know enough about you to give him anything of value and I have no obligation to tell you anything more about him. Give me a chance to get out of this alive, and I may change my stance on the latter.” 

“You’d sell out your own husband, eh?” Tommy asked, tilting his head somewhat as you continued to meet his gaze. 

“Arranged marriages can be tricky.” 

“I can’t make any promises, Mrs. Changretta.” 

“Then I guess we’ll see how this all plays out, Mr. Shelby.” 

[incorrectlumityquotes]

Lumity Episode Master List

Well, this is it gang. It's over. The Owl House is finished. Part of me will always be bitter about Disney gutting season three.

BUT at the same time, part of me is glad that The Owl House is over. Because that means lumity is canon forever and nobody can change that. What's that Disney? You don't like the gay? Well too bad. The only way you can change it is to make more episodes which I know you're not gonna do.

Nana-nana, boo-boo. Stick your head in doo-doo.

It's been a fantastic journey and if you ever wanna go through it again, there's always Disney Plus. But if just want your lumity fix without going through every single episode, then here you go.

I did it for starco and now I'm doing it for lumity. Here's every single episode the led up to lumity.

Spoilers for a show that we painfully know has ended.

"I Was a Teenage Abomination"

The revolution was a lie. Do you remember? When we were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? Sorry that's a reference to a song I like.

You can't do a list about a ship without actually starting the ship. The episode where Luz and Amity first meet and thank jeebus they did. Personally, I thought the first episode was okay and I didn't like the second one. But this episode was amazing. 10/10.

Luz feels like she isn't learning as much as she could from Eda so she sneaks into a witch school. With witch kids. We meet Willow and then we meet Amity, who I honestly thought was going to be some kind of Draco Malfoy bully type character. And she's kinda sorta like that in this episode. Little did we know the love that was gonna blossom here.

"Covention"

I get it. It's like coven and convention. OH now I get it. Well, we can't have them be enemies to lovers without them being enemies first. Willow and Gus invite Luz, Eda and King to the local covention where Amity just happens to be checking out the Emperor's Coven panel.

Yeah, she's still upset over the whole 'pretending to be an abomination thing.' We get some classic Malfoy-esque bullying from Amity that pushes Luz to challenge her. Since the Clawthorne sisters refuse to have one up over the other, they both cheat, embarrassing Amity.

The scene where Luz apologizes to Amity was the first hint that Amity would go beyond a Malfoy-bully character. Even though Amity was still upset, she broke the pact and Luz held no ill will towards her.

"Lost in Language"

I'm lost in language and I don't know what I'm thinking about. I'm back on my feet. Eager to be what you want me. Sorry. That's another song.

We get the first seed of the actual lumity ship and my first "I ship them" episode. Luz goes to the local library and the show shock everyone by showing Amity...reading to kids in the kids corner. You guys gotta remember that at the time this blew everyone's minds. The bully character reading to kids in the library? And they love her? Everyone's view of Amity changed, especially Luz's. Then we met Edric and Emira, who unlike Amity, are super cool and nice. All of which plays to the theme of the episode.

We (and Luz) discover that Amity is a lot more than she seems. She's not the bully character. Same with Edric and Emira. They're not the cool ones; they're the bullies. And that's the same way Amity feels about Luz. But with a little teamwork and a horrifying children's character come to life, Amity agrees to try to be a friendlier witch.

"Adventures in the Elements"

We wouldn't see Amity again for another several episodes. Thank goodness for that other country airing the episode early, am I right, people? Anyway.

Luz finally goes out with Eda for some serious witch training after Amity (oh cramity) warns her about the baby class. We get Amity making an actual effort to be nice to Luz, which almost completely goes to hell when Luz takes Amity's training wand. But then she does the "You'll only get hurt bit," and we see more of those little glimpses.

It's safe to say that after this episode Luz and Amity actually did become friends. No ill will on either side.

"Understanding Willow"

Luz and Amity became friends in the previous episode. Just Luz and Amity. Willow and Gus were a different story. Especially Willow. This is that story. It's the full story.

It's revealed that Willow and Amity used to be friends until Amity's parents forced Amity to push Willow away, something Willow still resents her for.

In the lumity side of things, Luz starts wiggling her way into Amity's heart with her upbeat, positive attitude. It's infectious. We even get a lumity hug, even if it was one sided.

"Enchanting Grom Fright"

Come on. Come on. Do I even have to at this point? The episode that blew this ship into the stratosphere.

It's Grom season and everyone's getting a date. Except for Amity who is unfortunately named the grom queen which means she has to fight a horrifying shapeshifting monster. Horray for The Boiling Isles being a safe and sensible place to live. Luz, being Luz, takes Amity's place so she doesn't have her worst fear come to life in front of everyone. But Luz is unable to face her greatest fear, and it takes the power of Wan to put Grom back in his place.

I love this episode. I love talking about this episode. I love how Amity is staring at her note because she's contemplating putting it in Luz's locker. I love how she says "Watch it, nitwit," before she realizes who she's talking to. I love how Luz and Amity randomly meet at the woods. Is it sloppy writing? Fuck you. I love when Amity grabs her dress when Grom tears her note. That's such a kid thing to do.

This is already way too long. I should move on.

"Wing It Like Witches"

The final part of the original lumity trilogy. We get the stupid fakey made up magical sport. Fuck you, Harry Potter. And we also get Boscha being a royal B. Someone tell her to see you next Tuesday. Am I right, people?

Luz, being Luz, wants to stand up to Boscha for Willow but, being Luz, makes things so much worse. Amity pops in and out of the episode to try to help but the gay panic is too much for her. Amity admits, out loud, that she loves how Luz seems to always get herself in over her head when she's trying to help someone. But they lose anyway. Fuck you, Harry Potter.

Enchanting Grom Fright was huge. But this episode was a bunch of fun. Fuck you, Harry Potter.

"Escaping Expulsion"

After breaking Amity's leg because we didn't want her anywhere near the season one finale, she finally makes her grand return. We also meet her parents and Odalia is one of the biggest Karen's I've ever seen. Luz gets expelled which is bad but she's more concerned over Willow and Gus. She tries to cut a deal with thicc mama Blight, but gets roped into product demonstration. Odalia tries to kill a child and fails when Amity appears from the rafters like Sting and announces to the world, "Stay away from my Luz."

It was awesome. We get a return blush and Luz officially starts crushing on Amity back. Reminds me of another post I did long ago telling everyone to be freaking patient. This episode also marks Amity being a part of the Hexsquad, but not one hundred percent into the friend group just yet.

"Through the Looking Glass Ruins"

I'm looking at you through the glass. Don't know how much time has past...I forgot the rest of the song.

It's funny because I guess the lumity stuff was actually the B-plot to this episode. This episode was very important for a lot of reasons. It introduced Phillip's diary, the galderstones, Matt and Gus kinda became friends. But we're not here to talk about that.

Luz discovers the there was a human in The Boiling Isles who donated a journal to the Bonesboro library. And since Amity works at the library, you know the whole two stones thing. And we see Luz crushing hard on Amity for the first time.

Unfortunately, Luz does get Amity in trouble again for like the fourth(?) time or something. That puts a real dent in things. But Luz comes through for Amity (offscreen) and gets her her job back. Amity makes the first move right at the end of the episode marking the beginning of the purple Amity era.

"Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Hooty's Door"

Hey, hey, hey! Please tell me I'm not the only one that got that reference. Don't make me feel old.

This is it. The most important episode since Grom. Dana and the crew knew that the series had been cut short so they had to speed things up. So they turned to...Hooty? Yeah. Okay. Sure. Whatever.

Luz is torn between finding a way back to the human realm and trying to ask out Amity. And you know that old saying about chasing two rabbits? Yeah. Hooty's solution? Kidnap Amity and force the two into the tunnel of love. Amity is actually totally digging the tunnel of love but Luz is afraid that Amity is going to make fun of her. Both ideas backfire and Amity starts to the think that she's been rejected already.

But that's to Hooty losing his mind, and a little advice from Eda, Luz asks out Amity. And she says YES! Lumity canon! In episode 8 of season 2! That's how you do it, Star vs the Forces of Evil! You give the people what they want. And now that Amity is Luz's girlfriend, she can help get more info out of the echo mouse.

And the love stuff too.

"Eclipse Lake"

Oh right. Amity. The girlfriend of Luz. The girl who is in a romantic relationship with Luz. Luz's girlfriend. That's Amity.

We have the first episode of Luz and Amity being a couple and hoo-boy, did Amity make sure to let us know. Nervous about having her first serious girlfriend, Amity wants to prove to Luz and herself that she is an awesome girlfriend. By going into the titan's veins to steal some of its blood.

As one does.

Hunter tries to prey on Amity's (and his own) insecurities about having to prove your worth. But it takes King and some well placed emoji messages to remind Amity why she fell in love with Luz in the first place. That Luz is so different from her family and her social circle. She doesn't have to prove anything to Luz. Luz wears her affection on her sleeve.

"Follies at the Coven Day Parade"

Night of the living dead is on its way. I keep making a lot of song references here.

This is the episode were the couple hits their first snag as a couple. Luz has a serious problem communicating when something is wrong (more on that later). After the traumatizing events of the previous episode, Luz can't bring herself to tell Amity that she promised her mom that she'd leave forever, especially since Amity is doing so much to get closer to Luz like learning Spanish. But Amity ain't no dummy. She can tell when Luz is hiding something. It's made even worse when Amity gets a hold of Luz's phone, which anyone who has been in a relationship could tell you, is a trap.

Luckily, trust and compassion win out in the end. Luz tells Amity exactly what happened, and they communicate. But if Luz was honest with Amity in the first place, we'd only have half an episode.

"Any Sport in a Storm"

Again, Lumity takes the B-plot.

While huntlow is becoming a thing, Luz and Amity try to search for the author of the Azura book series. On the way they parody fan theories in the nicest way I've ever seen in a show. And the big twist of the author of Azura turns out to be that there is no twist. It really is just a fantasy book series that Luz really likes that sometimes washes up in The Boiling Isles.

This episode is important because it serves to remind people what Luz and Amity have in common. Pointing out the fact that the two girls are different is fun, but sometimes you just have to go back to basics and remember that Luz and Amity just really like each other, get along, and are both nerds who like the same book series. And that whole opposites attract thing is bullshit. The key is compliments, not opposties.

"Reaching Out"

Hoo-boy. This one is heavy.

It's a special day for Luz, which is not a good thing. She wants to do anything but be alone with her thoughts. Good thing Amity shows up with a problem that could distract them all day.

Amity thinks that signing up for the Bonesboro Brawl could bring her closer to her dad (since her mom is obviously a lost cause) and ditches coven tryouts to compete for the championship title. Luz tries to help, but when Amity has the competition in the bag, Luz tries to help even more to keep herself busy.

But, as usual, Luz gets Amity in trouble and it really hurts this time. Not only did Luz get Amity in trouble (again), but she won't talk to her (again). When Amity has had enough, Luz does what she only does as a last resort and actually communicates.

That's when everything changes. It's the anniversary of Luz's dad's death. And usually Luz and Camila spend the day together. You know, to make it hurt less. But this year, she can't be with her.

This episode is important because after seeing Amity at a low point an unfair amount of times, this time Amity is seeing Luz at her lowest point. Amity makes this one face that, to me, says that Amity is shocked (to say the least) that her girlfriend was in pain this whole time. But she was so wrapped up in her own problems that she didn't notice. Or at least, that's my interpretation.

Luz and Amity make up and pick flowers together. It wasn't pretty or that romantic. It hurt and was kinda sad. But if you want to paint a pretty picture, sometimes you're gonna use some dark colors. And they're stronger for it.

"Clouds on the Horizon"

Oh yeah, baby. You know what this episode is.

When all hope seemed lost, it turns out not everyone believed Bellos' promises of paradise on the Day of Unity. While the adults are trying to stop the draining spell, Luz is sent on a slightly less dangerous mission of rescuing Amity from her mom's house arrest. Thicc Mama Blight even broke Amity's tamagachi thing. That bitch. See her next Tuesday.

But hope comes in the form of a Noceda as Luz enters through her bedroom window, Romeo & Juliet style. She promises Amity a slice-of-life future and Amity can't hold back anymore and

Gifs you can hear. Am I right, people?

We get it. Our first kiss. Our babies grow up so fast.

Actually no, that took forever, but you get my meaning.

Season 3: "Thanks to Them" "For the Future" "Watching and Dreaming"

Okay yeah, this is a bit of a cop out, but also, not really. Since Disney decided to be, well Disney, season three was cut short. Just enough to finish the story, but not enough to get lumity centric episodes. Everything was mashed together into 3 forty minute episodes.

Yes, we do have a lot of important lumity moments, but they're generally spread around all three episodes. None of them are more important than the other.

"Thanks to Them" had Luz coming out to her mom and introducing Amity. "For the Future" had Amity comforting Luz about her palisman. "Watching and Dreaming" had more kisses.

Unfortunately, I have to end the list by just saying watch all of them or none of them. Not very specific for a post that's supposed to be a specific list. Sorry, gang.

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

Gone But Not Forgotten chapt. 1

Warnings: Angst, smut, cheating kinda?, break ups

Words: 2,622

Summary: it's a lot, so Nat and Bruce were together but then you come in, but then Nat leaves you, then Wanda comes in, she gets blipped, so does Bruce because I hate him. (Also Shuri didn't get snapped because why not and Clint doesn't become Ronan)

A/N: @scarlettsandmaroons idea!! hi athy bae

You were a new SHIELD agent, being brought in after the battle in Sokovia. Mr. Stark offered you a room to stay in while the base you stay in is being repaired.

You became friends with the Avengers team pretty quickly, except for Bruce. You don't like him, he doesn't like you. It's complicated. But here you are in the training room with his girlfriend.

“Y/n. You good?” she pulls you from your thoughts, you look up at her. “Uh.. yeah- I'm good I was gonna head out with Maria later maybe.” she stares at you for a couple more seconds.

“On second thought, how about we hang out today?” you turn to look at her, “Why would you wanna hang out with me.” you laugh, picking up your water bottle.

You don't know it but, Natasha's been watching your every move since you were let into the compound. Is it weird? Definitely.

“Because.. we're friends?” she quipped with confusion laced in her tone. “Ha. Friends. You're funny, bye.” you wave, leaving her alone in the empty room.

A few hours later, oddly enough the walls aren't soundproof. You could hear muffled yelling from the room next to yours, then a door slamming. “I wonder what that was.” you mutter to yourself, scrolling through Netflix deciding what show to watch.

A knock on your door breaks the silence.

“...Who is it?” you close your laptop, sighing. “Come in, the doors open.” you see wisps of flame-like red hair as she opens the door. “Natasha? Hey.. what's wrong?” you get up, walking up to her.

“Bruce and I broke up.” you look up at her, pulling her into a hug, rubbing her back. “Aw.. Nat it's okay.” “To be honest, we were falling apart months ago.” she admits, sighing into your shoulder.

“Because I– I don't love him anymore,” she breaks your embrace, looking into your eyes. You furrow your brows, clearly confused. “Y/n I.. would you wanna go out– sometime?” you look at her, laughing nervously.

“I— what?” “Would you.. wanna go out sometime?” she looks at you sternly. “I mean– yes! I'd love to, I honestly sorta' had a major crush on you when I first came here.” you feel heat creep it's way to your cheeks, tainting your face blush-pink.

“Okay. Good. I'm glad.” she cups your face in her hands. “Can I kiss you?” you nod, unable to form words from your mouth.

She presses her lips against yours, backing up to the edge of the bed. She shoves you onto the bed, you look up at her. “Nat–” she squeezes your ass before pulling down your panties.

“Fuck.. you're so wet detka.” you whimper, feeling her light motions on your clit. She pushes a finger into your pussy, making you arch your back.

Lewd noises escape from your mouth, she shoves a second finger in, slamming into your pussy. “Moan for me kotenok, let me hear you.” your moans continuously get louder.

You gasp, blinking slowly. “Natty I'm gonna—” “Do it, cum for me baby, all over my fingers. Just like that, good girl.” you scream, moaning out her name.

“You're doing so well baby..” she slowly pulls out of you. Smiling down at you, she kisses you softly. “That was..” you blush, laughing slightly.

“I'll.. see you later okay?” you inhale shakily, smiling at her. “Yeah! Yeah– I'll see you later.” she smiles, opening the door and leaving your room.

The next morning you wake up, getting out of bed and walking into the lounge room. Waving hi to everyone. You walk into the kitchen, “Hey Y/n.” she rasps out, casually winking at you as if she has no idea what you two did last night.

“Hey– hey Nat.” you grab a mandarin, peeling it as you go sit next to her on the couch. “Give me one,” she looks at you, you smile. “Tasha if you wanted one you could've taken it from the bowl–” she tackles you, getting on top of you.

She smirks, taking a mandarin slice from you. “You're too easy detka.” getting off of you, she sits back in her place. Completely ignoring Bruce's side eyes from across the room.

“I swear to god Romanoff, stop stealing my food.” “No but, I'll steal your heart.” she winks, you laugh. “That was really cheesy Nat.” you look up at her, handing her another slice.

“You could've just asked nicely Natty.” you shrug, putting a piece into your mouth. She looks at you, slightly blushing. “Yeah well, where's the fun in that?” she kisses your cheek, getting up from the couch.

“Trainings in 10. Don't be late.” you smile, waving as she leaves the lounge room. You plop the last piece in your mouth, getting up to leave as well.

You quietly made your way to the training rooms but you hear 2 people talking, walking closer you realize that it's Natasha and Bruce.

"Nat I'm sorry, I love you take me back." you watch them for a few minutes, "Bruce you know I can't.. I–" "What does Y/n have that I don't? Just take me back Natasha." he moves closer to her, they look at each other for some time.

You walk into the training room, faux coughing to show your presence. “Hey Y/n..” you look at the both of them. “Hey..” Bruce ends up leaving the room as soon as you enter.

“What was that?” Natasha looks at you, “What? What was what..?” you sigh, getting into position for training. “Nothing.”

After training Natasha notices you acting off, a bit different than your usual self. You glance at her from afar every few seconds. “What's wrong Y/n?” ... “I told you, nothing is wrong. I'm fine.”

A few weeks later, you're in your room. Natasha's doing mission report on bed, with her laptop at 1 AM. “Tasha go to sleep.” “No I'm not done yet—” she gets cut off with a knock on the door. You groan,

Who could be at the door at 1 AM?

“I'll get it.” she gets off of the bed, opening the door. You glance at the door to see who it is, Bruce? You watch her look up at him, leaving the room. “Nat—” she was already gone by then.

You sigh, getting up and following them. "Bruce I already told yo–" Natasha looks at him, "Nat we could leave the compound if you want,..." muffled words, you watch them. Gasping quietly, running back to your room.

A few minutes after you get to your room, you hear a knock. “Uh..c-come in.” you see her open the door. You clench your jaw, putting on an act. “Hey.. did– did you see what happened out there?”

“What, that you kissed Banner?” her eyes widen slightly, not knowing you caught them. “Kotenok I can explain–” “Don't. Nat, you kissed someone else and out of all the people, Bruce. If it was Wanda I wouldn't be as mad.” she rubs her temple, looking down at you.

“Baby please.” you get up from the bed, facing her. “I know you want to get back with him,” you went on, “And– I know that you don't love me.” you look away from her. She steps into your place, cupping your face.

“Y/n I do love you!” “But you love Bruce more. Admit it already.” she forces your face to look at hers. “..So I guess this is over?” you defeatedly nod. She sighs, “Detka are you being serious?” “Ye- yes.” you hesitate, forcing your gaze away from her.

“Y/n–” tears form in your eyes, “Natasha please. Leave me alone..” your voice cracks, words start to come out as sobs. She takes her hands off of your face, tears pooling in her eyes.

She goes to the door, looking back at you. “I love you, Y/n.” the tears that once sat in your eyes streamed down your face. “Natasha just go.” she leaves your room, you let out a choked sob.

Sitting on your bed, missing the strong arms wrapped around you. The flirty whispers during team meetings, training sessions, her. But she left you, for him. You should've never let her in your room that night.

You cry until you can't anymore, heavy tired eyes. Sleep slowly taking over your body, you pass out into a deep sleep.

The next day you wake up, Natasha and Bruce leave the compound. Was there anything that could've changed things? No. You believed that she would pick him everytime.

Three years later you find yourself in bed with your girlfriend. Who? Wanda Maximoff, the sweetest girl ever. You loved her and she loved you. This year was going so well until? Thanos and his freaky 'family', Children of Thanos or whatever had to fuck it up.

You were called back into the old Avengers tower that you all used to live in before recent events, splitting the team of one into two.

You spot Natasha and Bruce across the room, tearing your eyes from them, as Wanda whispers something to you. “Wanda!” you giggle, struggling to cover up your laugh. “Stop it.” “Whaat.. I didn't do anything..” she bends down to your ear again. “Yet.”

You blush profoundly, struggling to make up a response other than playfully hitting her arm. “Wanda.. we are in,” you poke her shoulder. “The middle of a very important meeting.”

“I would rather be in the middle of your legs maylsh.” you widen your eyes, “Wanda. Not here, no.” her eyes turn back to it's natural green state, smirking at you.

Little did you know Natasha was staring at the both at you. Bruce knew this of course, he always knew that she blames herself for your break up. Even when it was his fault. He never apologized, he couldn't care less.

Wanda planned to propose to you after the battle, the 'Infinity War'. After the meeting for the whole battle plan, you went back to your old room with Wanda.

“I remember this place, I used to force you to watch sitcoms with me here.” you smile at the memory, “Yeah.” you look around, seeing as the room is how you left it.

Looking down at the covers of the bed, noticing tear stains. “Y/n?” your gaze snaps back to hers, “Uh.. yeah?” she gets close to you, putting hands on your waist. “You seem distracted darling.” your breath hitches slightly, biting your lower lip.

“Mm.. mhm?” she takes one hand off of your waist, cupping your face with it. Pulling you in for a deep kiss. “Mhm.” you smile at her as she unclothes you, pulling you into bed.

A few hours later, everyone flies to Wakanda for the big fight. You quickly lose track of where Wanda went, fighting off some alien. You hear a scream on the distance, running off to where you think it may be.

Thanos snaps his fingers, Visions dead, a hole left in his forehead. You watch as the people around you start to decrease. Wanda. You spot her on the ground, “Y/n– what's happening I can't move..” you start to panic, tears welling in your eyes.

“Wanda, Wanda everything's alright. Okay? You're okay.. you–” you pull her into an embrace, praying. Wishing. That everything would turn out fine. Gasping as you see your lovers lower body turn to dust, her face contorting in pain.

“Hey.. Wands re- remember what we said? About getting married and– having a house in a little neighborhood? Hm?” You pull her closer to you, “Malysh I can't– I can't feel anything, am I dying? I–”

You widen your eyes, tears escaping them, and rolling down your face. “I love you so much Wanda please don't go, please not yet.” she finally figures it out, accepting her fate. Holding her fading body to yours, “I– I love you too Y/n.” she smiles, as she completely turns to dust.

You scream, completely breaking down into sobs. Chanting her name over and over again hoping she would just appear back. Knowing she won't.

You feel a hand grazing your back, you flinch. “Wanda?” you say, turning to look behind you. “Nat–” she pulls you into her arms, holding you tightly. “Shh.. detka everything is gonna be alright.”

Your muffled cries into her shoulder, “Nat she's not coming back– Wanda she's gone I–” she hesitates, bring a hand up to your back, rubbing it gently. “I know kotenok, I know.. it's okay, everything's gonna be okay.” you pull back at the nickname, her face surprised, slightly confused.

“Don't think that her being gone gives you any right to ever. Fool me again Romanoff I'm not falling for your lies twice.” she steps back slightly, shock displayed on her face. “Y/n I–” you weakly get up, walking away. “Save it Natasha.”

You eventually go back to Shuri's lab, having to get any injuries checked out. “Are you okay Y/n?” you send her a reasurring smile, “Yeah I didn't get stabbed, or..”

Turned to dust.

Shuri hands you some clean clothes, you thank her. “I know that we lost the fight but, I– I'm glad you're still here Shuri.” you hug her, telling her that everything's gonna be okay, knowing her brother got snapped too.

“I'm glad you're here too.” she broke the hug, “Now go get changed, you're getting dirt in my lab!” she joked, making you laugh on your way to the changing rooms.

Opening the door, leaving the changing rooms you see her. “Listen I'm sorry.” you nod, exiting the room. “Okay..?” you walk off to the lab again. “Bruce got snapped too.” you look up at her, “Am I supposed to cheer? Why would that matter to me?”

“You and I both know I never liked Bruce, before you and I had sex and after.” she furrows her brows, looking down at you. “Sex? Y/n–” you interrupt, “Nat you broke up with me 2 months after, we can hardly call that a relationship.”

She felt her heart shatter, the 2 months she's ever felt loved felt even farther after what you had said. All she did was nod as a response, “Yeah. I guess so.” Shuri calls out to you, “Well– I'm gonna go..” she mouthed a "Bye" and you waved goodbye, leaving her alone.

A couple weeks later, being brought back to the compound by Steve. You see her again, she looks terrible. Well, she looks beautiful as always but, tired.

“Hey Cap' what did you call me here for?” he sighs, bringing you to an empty room. “It's Natasha. She's my bestfriend, everyone can tell something is wrong with her. I'm just worried, maybe you could help us.”

You sigh, pondering whether or not you should help. “Fine. But if it doesn't help don't call me back here again.” you leave the room you were in, going back to the lounge room.

“Hey Nat..” she doesn't look your way. You sit next to her, “Natasha, everyones worried about you. Is it because of what I said?” she stays silent, her gaze flicking to the side of your face.

“Because if it is then forget it okay?” ... “But that's not what I want to do Y/n. I don't– want to forget it.” you furrow your brows in confusion, “Nat please–” she turns to look at you.

“I don't wanna forget Y/n.” She moves closer to you, “It's like you invaded my mind, I can't ever forget you. I never loved him, as much as I love you.” she slightly widens her eyes, hoping you didn't notice the accidental confession.

“Natasha you–” she quickly gets up, not sparing a glance at you. “I– I have to go.” she runs off somewhere, “Natasha wait!”

She didn't wait.

[callioope]

I said I was going to post about my fencing experience but then life got in the way, I finally drafted up a whole thing, and then I just lost it all (thanks tumblr!) I sometimes run into a bug where if I resize my browser window, tumblr just loses my post. :;aksd;fajs;dfja;sdf

I don't know if I have the desire or time to write all that again tonight, so my recap will have to wait again.

But like. The brief summary is:

it's been fifteen years since I fenced

I had anxiety looking for a new place (I moved states since I last fenced, and I had some poor experiences with other coaches back in the day when I used to fence)

I did SO MUCH research to find a new place (yep I have a spreadsheet)

I settled on a place that was decently close (20ish minutes), had good recommendations, and had a schedule that worked for me

I was SO NERVOUS leading up to it because still not over COVID and being around strangers indoors, and I haven't fenced in FIFTEEN YEARS, and my equipment is also very old

I was definitely super awkward because how do you interact with people in person again?

Everyone was so nice and welcoming

Being on the fencing strip! Holding the sword! the way the rest of the world fades away when you put on your fencing mask! AHHH!!!

I was so overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions

like, i haven't accessed this knowledge in fifteen years! and i have 6 years worth of training! it was like information overload

But i was fencing again!!!!

It was surreal, absolutely surreal

I managed to even get a few touches on my opponents, but honestly also they probably got cheated out of a few touches against me because of my equipment being old

Like apparently they have new chest protectors now

because they updated some rules about the length of time the tip of the blade has to be pressed to count as a touch and the old chest protectors could sorta mess with the timing

kind of like the blade just glanced off when really it should have hit

But anyways! i scored! i didn't get steam rolled!

and they were like "hope to see you next week"

I was also like internally like "omg i hope i did not accidentally make any etiquette faux pas bc i wouldn't know it's been so long ahhh"

they run classes differently than my old coach but that's not a bad thing, actually probably makes more sense for what i'm looking for these days

the only thing is that they are the most expensive club around as far as i can tell

my spouse really wants me to try at least one other place but maybe two

this gives me anxiety bc like, i did the research up front! i did!

and also like, this place went well, i have already imprinted on it and feel a sense of loyalty, stupid i know but i'm weird like that

also trying new places means i have to meet a bunch of new people all over again, overwhelming

but like the cost is a factor sigh

so anyways, i will not be going back to the same place THIS WEEKEND, and actually, I'm really sad about it :/ which i think says a lot

hopefully tho i can go through the motions of trying other places and cutting some other costs to make room in the budget so i can keep going to this place

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Red Roses, Red Roses

Rated: 16+ For graphic descriptions of violence and gore, brief mentions of rape, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, and disturbing images.

Masterlist

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

"Okay, but what is the proper plural form of Nephilim?" I asked from the back seat of the Impala as it drove through the winding roads from the bunker and into town. "See, 'cause ' Nephilims ' sounds weird. So, is it ' Nephili ' like ' octopi ', or could it be ' Nephilice ' like ' mice '? I need to know this, guys."

The car was silent. Sam, Cas, and Jack were all thinking over the answer to my question and Dean was just rolling his eyes in the mirror.

"Maybe-" Sam started slowly "-Maybe it's just 'Nephilim'. You know, like ' moose '?"

"Yeah, that kinda sounds right, I guess." I nodded. Dean laughed and shook his head, glancing at me in the mirror. "What?"

"Oh, nothin'." He waved a hand. "I just don't get ya' is all."

"Yeah, neither do I." I shrugged and Jack must have found something funny because he snickered. "But what is it that you don't get?"

Dean shrugged. "I mean, I know you get rattled; Felix scares you and I get that. But you just take  everything else  in stride! How do you do that? I just- I don't get it."

"I told you this, Dean. I'm good at hiding my reactions to things and if I can't hide them then I use them to gain sympathy from others." I glanced at Jack, catching his eye. "At least, that's what I do until I can really trust somebody."

Jack smiled a little and tugged me closer into his side. He had been acting sorta weird since we'd all piled into the Impala for the drive into town. Jack had wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight against him, almost as if he was keeping me away from the trench-coated angel on my other side. He kept shooting Cas these weird glances and I couldn't help but wonder what they could be about. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that Jack was being possessive.

Not that I was complaining about our close proximity or anything! Jack was really warm and winter in Kansas was, shall we say, not. Who was I to turn down free cuddles? Although those cuddles did kinda make me want to sink my teeth into him. He smelled so sweet and his skin looked so frustratingly soft. Maybe one of these nights I could sneak into his room and get a taste. That could make things better, I mean, half the torture of being around him was the curiosity of not knowing.

"And we're here!"

Sam's voice knocked me out of that potentially devastating train of thought and I followed Jack out of the car. Okay, ' followed ' is the wrong word. Jack pretty much just pulled me out of the car with him. He didn't let go of me. Weird.

The town of Lebanon, Kansas reminded me quite a bit of Copper Harbor. The main difference was that Lebanon was bigger... A lot bigger. The buildings were small and friendly, made of red brick and wooden doors and windows with glass that bulged out at the bottom. The streetlamps were iron and curled over the street as they should and there were planter boxes underneath display windows. The whole town just breathed in a way that said ' stay awhile '.

"It's Christmas time," I noted aloud, "I almost forgot."

There were colorful lights wrapped around poles and wreaths hung on doors with bells that jingled when they opened. There were even speakers placed outside that filled the air with all sorts of holiday music and I felt a smile split across my face as I started to sing along.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you sing too," Dean chuckled as he held open the door of a discount clothing store. I was about to say something witty as a response but Jack beat me to the chance.

"She does! She sang to me last night," He said, smiling down at me. Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing at the acute lack of space between us. Jack noticed and let go of my waist.

"Oh yeah? And how was that?" Dean asked, smirking.

Jack's brow's furrowed and his head tilted as he eyed me like he was trying to remember something.

"It was..."

' Please don't say anything that'll get me dead! ' I pleaded silently.

"It was  magical ."

Sam, Dean, and Cas all shared a strange look, but before anything more could be said, the shopkeeper waltzed in from the back room.

Her silver hair was cut short and straight with the ends tucked around her chin. She was a short, thin woman probably in her late forties or early fifties with a not-a-hair-out-of-place sort of attitude. I would bet twenty bucks that her name was Christie spelled with a 'Ch' that she would be sure to remind us of. Click-clacking her way over to us in a pair of atrociously hot pink six-inch heels, the woman regarded us over the tops of her thick, rectangular glasses which hung on a chain around her neck. She flicked her eyes over each person individually in a way that reeked of silent judgment and when her eyes landed on me I was tempted to flip her off. When she was satisfied that she knew everything there was to know about us, the woman fixed a painfully fake smile onto her face and greeted us, speaking slowly like we were uneducated simpletons.

"Well, hi there all! My name's Christie with a 'Ch', you know, like in 'Christmas'? What are your names?"

Called it.

"Hey, Christie. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam, standing really creepily behind me is Cas, and this one here is his son Jack." Dean pointed as he introduced everyone, sounding annoyed as if this was his tenth time meeting Christie which it probably was. "We're lookin' to get Marty here some warm clothes. Got anything, ah, petite?"

I shot Dean a pointed look to which he just smirked. It wasn't my fault he and his brother were so freakishly tall. In front of us, Christie ignored his request to do business and kept on chatting.

"Sam and Dean Winchester? I remember you, boys. Why didn't you tell me one of you had a daughter as pretty as this little vision? Is she yours, Sam? She looks a bit like you," She cooed, stroking my hair as if that was a socially acceptable thing to do. I almost bit her hand off but smiled instead. Her question caught Sam off guard.

"No, no. Marty's not my daughter," He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.

"Oh! My mistake. Is she yours, Dean?"

"What? No! O'corse not!"

I nearly smacked my face with my palm. Were these guys  trying  to look like kidnappers? Considering their age and the way I was dressed, oh yeah, this totally looked like a kidnapping.

Christie frowned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her side. Jack reached for me but Christie pulled me further away, glaring at him.

"Oh, dear me. I shouldn't be calling the police on you boys now, should I?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, trying to come up with some sort of excuse and Christie was already pulling out her phone. A very Isaac-like idea popped into my brain. I rolled my eyes and huffed, pushing away from Christie.

"Ugh! Why do you guys have to be so weird about it? I mean, if you have to dress like child abductors then you could at least  try  not to act like it!" I turned to Christie, shaking my head. "Yeah, sorry about them, ma'am. It's a really long and scandalous story and you probably don't wanna hear the details, but I'm not being kidnapped, I promise."

Christie perked up at the mention of scandal, she was probably just itching for some juicy gossip to spread around at one of her knitting meetings.

"Well, I should probably hear the whole story just to make sure," She said, almost buzzing with excitement.

"Are you sure?" I baited, "It's pretty bad!"

"Oh, you can tell me, hon! I won't tell anybody."

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

"Alright, so long story short, my mom is Cas's aunt and she's a slut who cheated on my dad, who's a straight-up loser. So, he only found out that I'm not his just last week and filed for divorce within two days because he finally has an excuse to get rid of me now. Except, surprise-surprise, my mom never wanted me either because I'm a useless mistake and so they both threw me to child support which Cas here saved me from because he's a decent human being!" I finished my rant of bull crap and inhaled deeply. Christie had bought every word.

"Aw, you poor baby! You get a discount, sweetheart, and if one of your parents ever comes in here I'm gonna wring their neck!" She continued babbling as she led us through the store while Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all stared at me like I had eight heads. I smirked at them and shrugged a little.

Five hours and six oversized bags of clothes later and we were out of that store. We crossed the street and collapsed on some benches outside a diner, remaining silent for a while.

"That was worse than Hell!" Dean complained, tugging his boots off and rubbing his sore feet. "If I had to hear that woman talk for one more minute, I might have slit her throat!"

The rest of us made noises of agreement. Well, all except Jack who just shrugged.

"I thought she was nice," He said, though he too looked worn out.

"That wasn't nice, Jack. That was prying," Cas corrected him.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I wasn't sure how much more crap I could spout about your aunt, Cas!"

"Yeah, um, speaking of," Sam cut in, "You had that whole thing pretty handled, Marty. Where'd all that stuff come from anyway?"

"I've been on my own since I was nine, Sam," I lied, lowering my head and picking at my jeans.

"I get that, but-"

" Since I was  nine ,  Sam ." I glanced up to see Sam's mouth form into an 'O' of understanding. I looked away again, quieting my voice. "I know how to make up excuses that people won't question."

"Ah."

"You are  quite  the liar, Martina," Cas spoke up with a tilt of his head. The way his words curled in on one another made it impossible for me to tell whether his statement was one of praise, suspicion, or both. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jack eyeing Cas, his lip curled in a scowl that looked unnatural when displayed by his gentle features.

I didn't look up at the angel sitting in front of me. A tight smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I tapped the pads of my fingers against my knees.

"You don't trust me do you, Castiel?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. Cas sighed and shook his head; I watched Jack's hands clench into fists.

"No. No, I don't," He said, eyeing Jack's reactions as well.

"Why not?" I still didn't look up, feeling the angel's gaze shift to me.

"You lie so easily to others, and you do it very well. What's to stop you from doing the same to us?" For once, Castiel's tone didn't seem accusatory. He sounded truly curious and... understanding almost. His words were something close to gentle.

"Nothing, really," I answered honestly, "For five years, it was just  me . I had Isaac but I still felt  so  alone . I felt so small and scared and  purposeless . All I did was run and hide, it was like I was just waiting to die. So, when you guys offered me protection, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no, even if I didn't actually need it."

"Didn't need it? What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on his knees. I shrugged.

"You guys saw a small kid getting attacked in that alleyway and you helped her out. You just made the same mistake that everybody does."

"And what mistake is that?" Cas pressed, squinting curiously.

"Thinking that small means the same thing as helpless," I took a deep breath, shaking my head, "It doesn't, and I'm not. I told you I was clever, you just never stopped to think about what that meant. What you guys don't seem to get is that I survived for  five years . I was just scared that if you knew then you would leave me there alone and I- I just couldn't."

"So, you lied to us?" Sam asked with a frown. I nodded.

"I did. I lied to you and I'm sorry."

"We wouldn't have turned you away, Marty," Jack said, softly grasping my hand.

"I think somewhere deep down I knew that. There were just these things I had to do to survive and I was so scared that if you knew about them, then you wouldn't want me. So, I lied. Because the only thing I could think about was how I just couldn't be alone anymore." I laughed in spite of myself.

Jack nodded solemnly before glancing up and getting distracted by something across the street. His face lit up as he let go of my hand and stood, bounding towards whatever had caught his attention. I didn't bother to watch him.

"Look, Marty," Dean sighed and shook his head a bit, "You seem like a pretty sweet kid and I like you, a lot. Now, I may not know everything about your past, but I know from experience that the only thing that can make up for your mistakes is trying your best to do the right thing now. I wanna trust you, Marty. We all do. But if you keep all these secrets, then we can't do that. So, can you promise us just one thing?"

"Name it."

"No more lies?"

"No more lies," I lied.

"Good." Sam smiled. "So, is there anything else we should know about you?"

There were so many things. None of which I could tell.

"Well, there might be one thing."

"What?"

I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off by a flower being presented before my eyes. The flower was a rose and the rose was white. It was gorgeous and perfect, there wasn't a single flaw on any of the smooth petals and it was just one step short of full bloom.

There was a hand attached to the rose and I plucked the flower from his fingers, twirling it between my own.

"What's this for?" I asked as I looked up at Jack who beamed down at me the way I remember summer sunshine being like.

"It reminds me of you," He said simply.

"Why?" I chuckled.

"Um, because you said that you pretended to be innocent and helpless because you thought that nobody would want you if they knew otherwise. So, um, I-" He gestured to the rose's thorn-covered stem. "Well, t-this one has spiky-things on it."

"So, it does." I nodded, giggling at his strange explanation. Jack flashed me a grin and continued.

"At first, I thought it was just beautiful, like you, and I didn't see the spiky things until I picked it up. When I touched it, it hurt, but I took it anyway. See, it's still beautiful - even with the spikes - I still wanted it. So, I want you to know that even if you have spikes, I still want you."

Around. There was an ' around ' tagged on the end of that sentence, he just forgot to put it there. Right?

"Thank you, puppy. That was very sweet," I said, catching a glimpse of the flower cart across the street where he must have gotten it. The cart was unattended. In fact, the whole street was oddly empty. It was Christmas time, the street shouldn't have been empty, but it was and that gave me a very bad feeling.

Jack smiled so innocently it made me want to cry.

"You're welcome!"

"You paid for this though, right?"

Jack's face immediately told me the answer. "Is it not for free?"

"Nope, you stole it. You're criminal now," I joked.

"Oh." Jack frowned for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Well, when we grow up, I'll buy you one."

I had the chance to say something witty, so naturally, I replied with:

"Cool."

I mentally slapped myself. Of course, he says something cute and all I say back is ' cool '. My brain hates me.

I felt my cheeks heating up, so I ducked my head down. Deciding that we were in a shaded enough spot, I tugged the light-teal-colored baseball cap off my head. (I had been using it to hide my face from the harsh burning of the sunlight that drifted over the town.) The cap had a manatee sewn on the front and was one of the few things I had brought with me from my past life on the sunny shores of Florida. Laying the hat in my lap, I pulled my thick black braid over my shoulder and proceeded to weave the rose's stem into it loosely. Then, I flipped my hair back and smashed the baseball cap back on my head.

Meanwhile, the angel boy just smiled down at me as if he  hadn't  just said some of the kindest words I'd heard in five years. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and suddenly my shoes were extraordinarily interesting.

My attention was drawn away, however, when out of the corner of my eye, I watched Cas's back go ramrod straight. His head tilted to the side like he was listening for something, his eyes narrowing to one-quarter squint power.

"Cas?" Dean called to his friend. More like  their  friend, really, Sam and Jack were his family too. I guess I couldn't bring myself to call the angel my friend while I was lying to his face about everything I was.

"There are monsters somewhere here, I can sense them," Castiel said quietly. Jack stopped and tilted his head like Cas, focusing.

"I sense them too," He reported, glancing at me, "They're vampires." I sat up a little straighter.

"Put your shoes back on, Dean. You cannot rest while enemies are nearby," I said, smiling wryly and letting an edge of nervousness creep into my voice.

"How many are there?" Dean demanded, already taking charge.

Cas squinted harder. "Seven... Wait, no. There are eight."

"Where? C-can you sense that?" Sam asked.

"No-" Cas shook his head before turning to his surrogate son. "-But Jack can."

Cas sent a small nod to Jack who nodded back and directed his gaze upward, stretching out a hand. His eyes flicked into glistening gold and I could feel my hair stand on end as the air became charged with raw power. For a split second, I almost thought I saw the outline of feathered appendages sprouting from the boy's back. Then, Jack's eyes flickered back into their crystalline blue and I shook the after image away. Whatever I had thought I'd seen was gone before I could register it.

"There are two of them hiding in an alley about thirty yards that way-" He pointed to the left "-and there are five more. They're waiting for an ambush? I think? They're over there. In that really suspicious-looking grey van parked four cars down." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder and I leaned over to glance at the car. Jack had been right, the van totally looked like it belonged to the mafia or something.

"What about the last one?" Dean pressed, his eyes shifting around to examine his environment. Jack shook his head.

"I-I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, I can sense it - I know it's here somewhere - but it's cloudy. I can't tell exactly where; it's like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time."

Jack called the vampire an ' It '. Of course, he did.  It  was a vampire.  It  was a monster. What else does one call a monster? What else does one call  a thing  like that? After all, that's all  it  was; that's all  I  was. A  thing . Not a someone, not a person, not a  friend . A  thing . A  pest , a  nuisance , a  parasite  to be eradicated. Skrew all Jack's kind words and endearing actions; they didn't mean anything! He could never really love me back. It was only a matter of time before he realized that. It was only a matter of time before he started calling me ' It '.

' How long will that be, I wonder .'

I was pulled from my thoughts by a scream. It rang, high and sharp, and it echoed off the brick buildings.

"HELP! HELP ME!" A woman's voice cried.

"Max?" Jack whispered, his eyes going wide. I didn't know who that was and apparently, neither did Dean as he flung his strong arm out in front of Jack who began to sprint towards the sound.

"Who?" Dean demanded. Jack struggled to push past him but Dean wouldn't budge.

"That-that's Max! She's my friend! Those things have her! She needs our help!" He explained impatiently. Dean's face scrunched up.

"Wait, wait. Max? Teenage girl? White hair? 'Bout yea high?" The elder Winchester made a height comparison with his hand and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yes! Now, come on!" Jack huffed.

"Oh ho! So that's why you're not going for abandonment issues over there?" Dean teased. Letting go of Jack, they started towards the sound of screaming. "Does Jack-Jack have a girlfriend?"

Jack stopped and faced Dean, confusion written across his brow. "Max already has a girlfriend."

"Oh."

The two dorks were brought back to reality when that Max girl screamed again.

"SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"

Her voice was followed by another, a boy this time.

"HEY! HEY! HELP! ANYBODY! HELP US!"

"That's Eliot!" Jack took off down the street at a full-on sprint. Dean, Sam, and Cas hot on his heels.

"No, no! Please, go on ahead without me," I muttered, sarcastically, "Save the damsel! I'll just... wait here then."

Huh. Max and Eliot. I felt like those names should be switched around, but then again, I go by Marty, so who am I to judge?

Out of nowhere, I felt a stinging pain in my shoulder. A syringe. I knew the feeling well. Before I could react, the pain suddenly doubled, rapidly spreading all throughout my body like a viral infection.

Dead man's blood.

I whipped my head to the left to meet an all too familiar pair of brown eyes.

"What's bouzzin' gousin?" An accented voice jeered.

Then everything was black.

***

The vampires were taken care of rather easily. Jack felt like a Jedi Knight as he suspended them in the air, stringing them up like the murderers they were. They didn't even struggle. Like convicts dangling from a hangman's noose, the vampires knew as soon as they saw Jack's glowing eyes, that their deaths were nigh at hand. Jack thrust out a hand and caught them in the pulsing rings of his grace, a sound like drum beats underwater reverberating off the alley walls. With a grin, the boy clenched his hand into a fist and the monsters splintered into not but dust.

With the threat eradicated, the glow in Jack's eyes flickered out and he turned to the high-schoolers who he considered his friends.

"Hello, Max! Hello, Eliot! It's alright, you're safe now," He chimed, nodding to each kid in turn and lifting his hand in greeting, though he refrained from actually waving it. Upon seeing him raise his hand, the kids shared a look of sheer terror and backed away. Jack frowned at their reactions, lowering his hand. "No, no! Wait, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you!"

Max and Eliot paused, trying to determine whether or not they believed him.

Unbeknownst to Jack, Max and Eliot didn't actually like him. ( After finding out about the supernatural, the teens were disappointed when the Winchesters refused to tell them more about spirits and monsters. Enter Jack, and his unfortunate lack of talent in terms of keeping his trap shut. ) Max and Eliot had only hung out with Jack once, and that was exclusive because they knew that he lived with the Winchesters. Against his better judgment, Jack had shown them a glimpse of his powers and though they thought his telekinesis was cool, the teens had agreed not to search the boy out again.

There was just something about Jack that unsettled them, frightened them,  terrified  them. Just like every other human who had seen what Jack could do; deep down, they were all afraid of him. Because he wasn't normal, he wasn't right,  he wasn't human .

"What did you just do to those guys?" Eliot asked, staring with eyes as wide as quarters. Jack thought it would be better not to answer that question.

"It's okay! They were monsters," He reassured.

"He disintegrated them," Cas deadpanned. Dean shot the angel a look. "What?"

"YOU DISINTEGRATED THEM?!" Max screeched loud enough to make Jack flinch.

"Yes?"

"You didn't just, like, proof em' away or something?" Eliot added, a little quieter.

"Um, no. No, I didn't."

"COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!"

"Most likely, yes," Jack answered, thoughtfully, "I've never tried it on humans, though. But I would never hurt you guys, you're my friends!"

"You're really freaky, dude," Elliot said, shaking his head slowly, "And, like, not in a good way."

"I know." Jack hung his head. They were afraid of him. They hated him. He shouldn't have expected otherwise.

"I'm never gonna be able to un-see that," Max muttered, staring at the cement.

That gave Jack an idea, maybe there was a way to undo this.

"I know you're probably freaking out, but I think I know a way to make it better," He said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Nah, man. I don't want any of your freaky Aquaman powers used on me!" Eliot shook his head.

"No powers." Jack smiled despite how badly their words hurt. "I promise."

His stomach twisted with the lie, but they didn't need to know that. Max and Eliot shared another glance.

"Okay..." They agreed, hesitantly.

"I have a friend. Her name is Marty," Jack explained, leading them back to the bench where his family had left the girl. "She's right here!"

Except she wasn't.

That's when the Nephilim's phone rang.

It was a picture message. Marty sat unconscious tied to a chair in some shack. The text read:

"I really would hate to incur the wrath of the Winchesters, so consider this a ransom note. All you have to do is find her in time. Tick-tock. ~ Felix "

Max peered over Jack's shoulder.

"Hey! I know that place!"

***

"Welcomb back to the land of the livinc' where the livinc' are, in fact, dead!"

Okay, so she knew I was awake. I kept my eyes closed anyway and canvassed my new environment. Having grown up blind, I didn't need my eyes to see.

My hands were bound with zip-ties to the arms of the splintering wooden chair I sat in. The space around me was large but not cavernous as there was no echo. This was a shack of some kind judging by how the metal panels making up the roof clanged against one another in the wind. The shack was also dark to protect vampire skin from the sun, and in winter, no sun meant freezing temperatures. There was a weight covering my lap; someone had given me a blanket. I caught the scent of hay among other less pleasurable farm smells. I could hear the shifting of five pairs of feet surrounding me in a circle. This was going to be fun.

Opening my eyes, at last, I was met with the sight of a young woman around the age of twenty-two, lounging on a few hay bails. She was long, lean, and muscular with a round face displaying a crooked smile. I could see the end of a tie-dyed shirt sticking out beneath the fluffy black coat she wore. Her green and purple hair was chopped short in a punk rocker pixie cut that stuck out in at least five different directions. If I wasn't mistaken, a few of the strands appeared to be scorched on the ends. Her cheekbones were low and prominent and plenty rosy. She had full lips and a button nose that was home to two tiny diamond studs. The woman wore her dark green eyeshadow with plum-colored lipstick unapologetically. Her eyes, which were set deeper than most, turned down at the corners and sparkled with mischief. They were accompanied by thick dark eyebrows, the left of which had apparently gotten a third piercing since I had last seen her.

"Ah hah! So she  is  alive!" She said, her thick Dutch accent coating her words, "I was begininc' to worry that you had follen asleep... Again."

I shrugged despite my restraints.

"Yeah, well I can only sleep-in so long."

"You never were a morninc' person, were you?" The woman sighed, shaking her head. I watched her arrow-head pendant as it swung back and forth from her neck.

"Nope."

"And dat's why we're frien'ds!" She chirped.

"We're not friends, Elwyn." Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh but it was better than pretending like everything was fine and dandy between us. Elwyn faked a gasp.

"You used my fuoll name! You muss be serious. Why so c'old,  mijn lieve ?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Spending five years as a walking corpse will do that to you," I answered, smiling thinly. "Why are you here, Elwyn? What's this act for? We both know that if I wanted to walk out of here right now, I could do so without a scratch on me. What do you want?"

"You might 'ave been able to woltz out of 'ere if you had a full tanc', dat's true." Elwyn nodded, in agreement. Then she tilted her head and frowned at me with pouty lips. "But you're quite weak now. I'm sorry, hones'ly. I t'ought dat you'd be able to 'andle dat much dead man's blood but you still look pale an' shaiky!"

"Well, I've always been pale," I replied, narrowing my eyes. Elwyn sat up, crossing her legs and putting a fist to her chin. Her brows furrowed and she looked at me with what seemed to be genuine concern for my well-being.

"How lon'g has it been since you fed,  liefste ?" She asked in a gentler tone.

"A little over two weeks," I answered honestly.

"Two weeks?! Nothinc'? Not even somethinc' piffy, like a ra'bbit?"

I shook my head and shrugged.

"Oh,  jij arme ding ! I know you ha'te it, but how could you do dis' du yourself?!" She cried, shaking her head in dismay. I looked away. Deep down I knew that Elwyn really did care about me, albeit in her own strange way. I was being harsh with her and that wasn't exactly fair. She was Felix's prisoner too.

"I more than hate it, Ellie," I said, speaking softer now, "But I just couldn't find a good opportunity. Besides, I can take it."

Elwyn rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.

"No you gan't, Mardina! Look at yourself! You're runninc' on foomes and it shows!" Elwyn huffed, her accident becoming more prominent as her emotion shown through. "Be hones'd wit me, dis is because of dose Win-kesters, isn't it?"

"Not exactly," I said, picking at a splinter on the wooden arm-rest. I knew the real reason and it was a stupid one. I mean, of all the ways to try to be better, starving myself to the breaking point probably wasn't the smartest. But I wanted to be good, pure. I wanted to be human. For him.

"Ah, I see." Elwyn smiled softly. "I was told aboud dat Nephilim boy, the rumors were wrong about him. I was watchinc' you two today; he's not a ragink' monster at all."

"No, he's not." I shook my head.

"He's a  zoet wezen , no?" Elwyn chuckled to herself, "Sorry, I don' know de word for it in English."

I nodded. The closest translation of her Dutch was ' sweet creature '. It fit.

"What's his name?" Elwyn asked without the slightest bit of hostility.

I smiled. "His name is Jack."

" Hou je van hem ?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. Elwyn smiled knowingly.

"Yes, you do. And if what I saw was any indication, he feels the same."

"No, he doesn't, Ellie," I sighed and gestured to the child body I was trapped in. "He can't. Just look at me! I'm just a sister to him and if he knew what I really am then he'd hate me!"

"So, dat's what dis is about." Elwyn nodded with understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"You t'ink yourself bad, so you want du be good for him. Dat's why you 'aven't been feeding," She explained, sounding matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, I guess so." I looked away.

"Well, das not good!" Elwyn leaned forward and cut the zip-ties that held me to the chair. Then she reached behind her and fished around a bit until she pulled her arm back and held it out to me, a blood bag resting in her palm. "Have a snack now and your  engel jongen  will never know!"

I glanced at it for a moment but it didn't take much to break my willpower. I snatched the bag from her hand and ripped it open, downing it like there was no tomorrow.

"You gan slow down,  geliefde.  I brough't more." Elwyn chuckled.

"You did?" I asked looking up.

"I had a sneakinc' suspission dat dis was goin'c du 'appen." She shrugged, tossing me another bag which I ripped into also. She reached behind her again, this time tugging around a small cooler full of the stuff which she pushed over to me. "I admire your willpower, Mardina. I don t'ink I'd have de kinda strengt for what you're pullinc'. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, halfway through my second bag.

"Live with dose 'unters day in an' day out!" She exclaimed, "Esspecialy dat e ngel jongen ! Da kid smells like garamel chocolate! I envy your gontrol. How'd you stan' so close to him? I was eighty-feet away and I gould 'ardly gontrol myself!"

Well, at least I wasn't the only one.

"I gotta keep up apperences, Ellie. You know all about that." I knew I sounded guarded, but this subject made me uncomfortable.

"But you gould still get a taste. I know you gan make pepole forget t'ings."

I sighed, finishing my second bag and grabbing another.

"You know, Elwyn? You almost got me." I smiled, shaking my head.

"What do you mean?" She asked, feigning obliviousness.

"For a second there, I almost thought you were still my friend."

"I  am  your friend," Elwyn insisted, "I defied Felix for you!"

"Then you ran right back to him the second I turned my back."

"I had too," She spoke, her voice regretful.

"No! No you didn't! You  chose  too. You chose  him  over  me !"

" Hij is mijn vader !  Ik moest !" Elwyn cried. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

"I don't care!" I shouted back, "We were free! We both could have been free! But no, you chose to leave me all alone in the middle of the woods!"

"I knew you'd be fine," She whispered. I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

"No, you didn't," I growled. "Do you have  any idea  how long I wandered for?!"

"You made it out."

"Not in one peace. I lost things in there, Elwyn." I shook my head. "You left me there." Then, I let out a harsh, rasping, laugh and spat my next words. "And for what? To run right back into the arms of the father that never even loved you!"

Elwyn hung her head. " Het spijt me zeer.  I'm so sorry."

"You should be," I said, cooly. "Why do you always run back to him? And don't give me any of that ' he's my father ' bull crap."

"I don know. But what I do know is dat I am still your friend."

"Right." I nodded, smiling through tight lips. "Why are you really here, Elwyn?"

She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that had slipped down her face, and looked up. "I game 'ere to save you," She said.

"Excuse me?"

"From dose 'unters!" She explained, "Felix told me dat you were with de Win-kesters and I begged him to let me c'ome rescue you. An' he said yes! He's so much kinder den he used to be; he promised dat he wouldn' make you do anyt'ing you didn' want to!"

Elwyn smiled at me and took my hand.

"Oh, yeah?" I scoffed, "Then what was that phone call, huh? What? Is killing my friend supposed to win me over?"

"Hey, I said dat Felix is kinder den he was." Elwyn sighed. "He's still Felix though. He was tryinc' to intimidate de Win-kesters into letting you go."

"I'm not being held hostage!" I insisted.

"But you are still in danger!" Her eyes softened, "Dey will kill you if dey find out what you are."

"I know."

"C'ome with me," She pleaded, "C'ome with me, an' Jack will never find out about you. C'ome with me an' he'll never break your heart."

I paused. Was there really any chance?

No. There was no chance. No chance that Felix could ever change. It was one in a million. There was no chance and  no choice .

"If you're really here to save me, then what's with your little posse?" The five other vampires had been unusually quiet for idiots of their caliber.

Elwyn shrugged. "In case t'ings get messy."

"We'll, then you better plan on things getting messy because I'm not coming with you," I said with a smirk.

"Why not?"

"Because Felix wants me dead, Elwyn, and that's not going to change."

The woman's face fell.

"I know you didn' mean to kill Madra," She whispered, gently. I shook my head and frowned.

"I didn't kill her," I hissed, "Felix killed his soulmate, not me."

"And he sees dat now. He knows dat it wasn' your fault, dat you couldn't gontrol it. He realises dat and he forgives you!" She smiled a little.

"And how many times did he have to beat you before he realized that?"

"C'ome on, Mardina!" She sighed, though I could see the pain her eyes hid. "Dis is an olive branch! Jus' take it!"

I shook my head and I laughed. I laughed long and loud and hard. I laughed like a girl gone mad. I had told Elwyn that I had lost something when she had left me in those woods, I wanted her to know what it was.

"No," I said. Then I stretched my bloody lips into a mad, humorless grin, "I don't want your olive branch."

"Why not? Its your best chance! Don you want peace?"

"Peace?  PEACE?! " I spat, "You know what he did to me, what he made me! You think after every thing he took away, that I would want  peace ? You think after what I did, Felix would offer me peace?"

"I don't want peace," I said, beginning the rhyme I'd heard when I was still alive, "I want war and I want my enemy's head hung like a boar. I didn't come for money and I don't want his crown, see, I've come to burn his kingdom down. So, come one, come all, to take a dance with the dead and stain the petals of the white roses red."

"Mardina, please!"

The other vampires in the room shifted, readying for a fight. But I was faster.

Launching myself from that splintering wooden chair, I threw my body forward towards the stack of haybales Elwyn had previously sat on. I had to jump to avoid the vamp that tried to grab my legs and that pushed me forward a little too much but it wasn't something I couldn't compensate for. Landing on my hands, I shoved my body up, and over the hay bales in a vamp strength enhanced backflip. I landed on my feet and flipped my hair back. The shed's door was in front of me. Sure, it was locked but the lock was only one of those slidey metal bars which are super easy to break and if I was going to fight five vamps at once, it would be wise to keep my back to the door that way I might be able to be thrown through the door and land outside instead of pushed into a dead-end wall. Also, if I was going to fight five vamps at once, I was going to need the proper tool for the job. Beside the door, my eyes landed on a tool rack. I spied my weapon of choice. This was going to be fun .

It was one of those weird four-prong rakes that I'm not completely sure is called a rake. A label on the shaft said it was a soil cultivator but I didn't care what it was called because I was fighting for my life. The four prongs were about five inches long and although the shed wasn't new, the equipment in there thankfully wasn't that old, so the four steel prongs were still wicked sharp.

I ducked, dodging the arms of another vamp before rushing for the tool rack. Another vamp sprang in front of me, blocking my way and I paused. This one had bleach-blond chin-length hair. I knew him. I remembered him from when I was in Felix's cage. This one's name was Boyd and he liked to touch things that didn't belong to him. I couldn't fight back then, but I could now.

"How's it goin', Boyd?"

"So, you remember me, do ya?" He jeered, beginning to circle me like a predator circling its prey. Little did he know, he was not the predator here.

"Oh, I remember you alright. See, Boyd, I'm not a good little girl-" He used to call me that, "- not anymore. I don't do what I'm supposed to. See, when it comes to bastards like you, I don't forgive and I most certainly don't forget."

"Well, I guess its a real shame that I forgot your name, then. You were one of my favorites!" He laughed, "Only thing I remember 'bout you now is how loud you used to scream."

I gave him a cold smile and lunged straight for his legs. Grasping his ankle, I twisted and pulled, sending him crashing to the floor. Then I lifted his leg, rolled over, and slammed my arm down on his knee. There was an ear-splitting snap and he screeched like an animal.

"Who's screaming now, Boyd?" I taunted. I sprung up and stomped down on Boyd's throat, crushing his windpipe. As a vampire, that wouldn't kill him which was good because I wasn't done with him yet. I was going to make him hurt. Why would I want peace when I could have revenge? Revenge felt good.

I rolled away when a red-haired vamp took a swing at my head. I bolted for the four-prong rake and brandished it the way you would a staff. The rake was long, about three inches taller than me, but I easily found the balance point. I spun it around in my hand as I circled the other four vamps.

"Mardina, we gan talk aboud dis!" Elwyn tried, grabbing my arm. I threw my head back and laughed.

"No, Ellie. We can't!" I flipped the rake over, using the blunt end to whack Elwyn upside the head with supernatural strength and speed. She was knocked out. "Stay down. You're not like them and I don't want to kill you."

The red-haired vamp ran at me again and I spun out of the way, flipping the shaft again and swinging it down as he passed me. Two of the prongs buried themselves in the base of the vamp's spine, judging by the position, between two vertebrae. He howled and tried to claw at my arm but I easily avoided him. A female vamp shrieked for her friend and lunged at me from the left.

I rolled my eyes. Pushing on the shaft of my rake I distanced myself from the redhead vamp and ducked away from the female's fangs. I reached out and grabbed her shirt, using it to pull her down towards me. I slammed my head into hers once, then twice to daze her. She stumbled as I let go and switched to grabbing the hair at the base of her neck.

"Night-night, cupcake!" I chirped. Then I slammed her face into my knee and tossed my weight over her shoulder, sliding my arm around her neck. I pulled backward.

That blissful crack was the sound of her neck snapping. Jumping up and using the wall to gain some momentum, I twisted the vamp's head all the way around. It was easy with nothing but tissue and tendons in my way. Her body dangled limp from where I held her by the hair, so I opened my mouth, letting my fangs extend, and I bit her head off.

The redhead vamp with my rake still stuck in him cried out and tried in vain to reach me again. It was pathetic, really. Grinning, I wrenched the rake upward, severing the vamp's spinal cord and pulling the prongs along with two of his vertebrae straight through his back. He fell to the ground, paralyzed from the waist down because two of his bones were missing.

Just as I was about to remove his dreadful cranium from his miserable shoulders, one of the other vamps jumped at me, managing to rake his grotesquely long fingernails along my back. I released no cry of pain as he tore through my skin before grabbing me by my shoulders and hurtling my body at the wall. My face slammed against a pole built into the metal siding as the rest of my body just hit the wall. I landed on the ground with a jarring impact that I was sure had broken a few things. But I couldn't feel the pain. I was too focused on my rage. I was seeing red, and for the first time, I welcomed it without fear.

"Not so tough now are ya?" He called out.

My body was broken and yet I stood. I felt invincible.

"I know I'm not tough," I laughed. I wiped away the blood that was dripping from my mouth and nose, looking up to smile pleasantly at the vamp. "But you wanna know what I am?"

"What?"

"I'm insane, and that tends to make up for the rest."

The vamp charged me but I twisted around and Spartan kicked him into the wall. Then, using a few hay bails to step on, I vaulted into the air and brought the rake down on the vamp's head, piercing through his skull and embedding the prongs in his brain. The spray was a little gross but I didn't care. He deserved it.

"You're next, pumpkin," I called to the last vampire left standing in the room.

I crossed over to him and he managed to block my first two blows but then I smashed the blunt end of the rake into his face a few times and he was unconscious. I heard a groan and turned on my heel.

"And that brings us back to you, Boydie-Boo!" I cheered, stepping on the paralyzed vamp's hand as I passed him. I leaned over Boyd who was still on the ground, gasping for air. "Hello, sweetie. How are we today?"

All Boyd did was gasp and choke, he couldn't speak as his vocal cords had been stepped on.

"Aw! Did you get a boo-boo?" I pouted at him.

Then I grabbed Boyd by the throat at lifted him into the air. He struggled against my grasp but could do nothing. He couldn't even beg.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Can't you scream for me?"

He shook his head and spat at me. So, I threw him into a wall. Boyd fought to stand, using the wall to stagger upright.

"Come on, Boyd! Fight! Are you going to let yourself be beaten by a girl?!" I taunted him and pulled on the fear that was already constricting his mind. Revenge felt so good.

"You-you're not a girl," He panted, "You're a monster!"

I hummed, tapping my chin with my finger.

"I guess history will have to be the judge of that, now won't it, buddy-Boyd?" I dragged my rake along the ground, though all the blood of his friends. There was a wonderful metallic grating noise as the prongs scrapped across the concrete.

"Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!" It felt good to hear him beg.

"Unfortunately," I continued, "I don't think you'll be around to plead your case!" I hefted the rake.

"No! PLEASE!"

"Bye-bye, Boydie-boo!"

I swung the rake upward with all my might and with a sickening crunch I rammed its prongs up through his jaw. I said I wanted him to suffer. Pulling him by the prongs in his face I brought his screaming form over to the tractor sitting at the back of the room. I rammed the shaft of the rake through two spokes of one of the tractor's wheels. All it took was the flip of a leaver to send the wheels spinning.

Turn, turn, turn and scream, scream, scream, then a nice snap, crackle, pop, and then suddenly, Boyd's head and body were two separate objects. I was very happy. Then, the random vamp I'd knocked out woke up and yanked on my hair, throwing me over his shoulder.

I tried to land on my feet but failed, tripping and stumbling backward. I landed on my back and scrambled to get up. As I did, I noticed the perfect white rose that Jack had given to me had fallen out of my hair. It lay on the ground in a pool of blood. Jack said it reminded him of me, of the way he saw me. Well, it wasn't innocent or perfect anymore. But neither was I, so I think it matched me better now.

The vamp rushed me and tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms to my sides as he snapped at me with his fangs out.

Bang... Bang!... CRASH!

The door burst open and light from the setting sun poured in, falling directly on the last vamp's face. He cried out and tried to scamper away, like a rat from a cat.

"It's about time! You guys are late to the party!" I shouted.

"Yeah, sorry!" Dean said from the doorway, "Who would've thought there were so many old sheds in this town!"

I didn't get a chance to reply.

I felt the air prickle and spark, charging with a tambour of power that I recognized but had yet to experience to this degree. I turned my head in time to see Jack, eyes glowing gold, passing by Dean with his hand outstretched. Golden waves of energy shot from his being with a sound like drumbeats from the depths of the sea. The waves caught the fleeing vampire and time around him slowed to a crawl. He was lifted into the air and revolved to face his reckoning. The Nephilim's lips tugged into a cruel grin as he saw the fear in the vampire's eyes.

Suddenly, the pulses of energy stopped and the vampire was flung towards Jack, landing face-first in the dirt at the boy angel's feet. Jack knelt down, his expression seeming to consider the trembling, pathetic thing in front of him.

"P-please!" The monster managed to choke out. "Mercy!"

Jack looked up at me, his eyes soaking in my bloodied face. Apparently, that was all it took. Jack's eyes hardened and he turned back to the vamp.

"You. Hurt. My. Friend."

Jack grabbed the vampire's head in his hands and started to squeeze. The vamp screamed as the pressure increased until his skull just couldn't take it anymore. There was a crunch and a wet sucking noise as the vamp's head collapsed in on itself. I liked that sound.

"That dude's still alive," I said, casually jabbing my thumb at the red-haired vamp I had paralyzed. Jack turned to where I had pointed, ready to squeeze another brain out of its shell.

"Jack!" Cas called from behind him. "No!"

The Nephilim scowled at Castiel and I admired the rage I saw in his eyes. This wasn't my Jack but I liked this version just as much. No, Jack wasn't human, was he? He was more like me than I'd thought. Jack snapped his fingers and the red-haired vamp crumbled into dust. The sight was actually sort of pretty.

When Jack turned to look at me his eyes were completely soft and full of concern. There was my Jack.

"Are you afraid of me now?" He asked in a whisper.

"No," I replied flatly, shrugging my shoulders, "Why would I be?"

"I killed them." Jack hung his head. "Right in front of you."

"Am I supposed to care?" I smirked, hoping my voice didn't sound as harsh as I thought it did. I was just barely beginning to come off my rage-induced high. Jack eyed me with confusion and relief.

"You're hurt," He observed, moving over to me.

"Me? Nah! This is nothing." I gestured at the bodies scattered around the shed. "You should see the other guys!"

"Stay still." Jack placed his soft, gentle, hands on my face to examine my injuries and I felt a warm tingling as he healed them. "There. I fixed you." He whispered. It was more to himself than anything but I still heard it. It made me laugh on the inside.

Yeah, no. Nothing could fix me. I was broken beyond repair. It was my insanity that held me together. Does that sound like the sort of thing that can be fixed?

"Thanks, Jack-Jack!" I chirped, smiling brightly at him.

"You're welcome, Marty," He said quietly. Jack's eyes flicked down, focusing on my lips like he wanted something but wasn't sure how to ask.

"Um, M-Marty?" Sam's voice broke whatever spell the two of us had been under and I glanced over to him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you, uh," Sam pointed to the carnage surrounding us, watching me with weary eyes. "Did you do this?"

I shrugged, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at the tractor. "Yeah, mostly. But the tractor helped."

"I'm guessing the tractor did that?" Dean pointed to Boyd's head with its jaw still run through with the prongs of the rake. I walked calmly over to the severed head, grasping it by the hair and pulling it off the prongs before returning with it back to the boys. Sam, Dean, and Cas all stared at me with eyes as wide as quarters as held up the head.

"Dean, this is Boyd," I said, keeping my tone as sweet as possible.

"Huh."

"Say hi to Boyd."

"Uh...Hey, Boyd..."

"Good." I grinned as if I was holding a puppy instead of a severed head. "Now let me tell you about Boyd. Boyd liked touching things that didn't belong to him. He worked for Felix and Felix liked hearing little girls scream and cry. So did Boyd. Boyd was very good at making little girls scream and cry, little girls like me. Weren't you Boyd?" I asked the mutilated cranium in my hand. I moved the severed head up and down in an enthusiastic nod, holding it by the hair as if it was a marionet.

"You were very good, yes you were!" I cheered. Then, like the flip of coin, I snapped my focus back to the Winchesters, wiping my face and tone clean of all emotion.

"So, I used a tractor to rip his head off because he deserved it and now he won't ever make another little girl cry ever again. Right, Boyd?" I asked the severed head. I grabbed the head's bloody, splintered jaw and clacked it's teeth together like you would a ventriloquist dummy. "You bet your britches!" I made the head answer, mimicking Boyd's voice.

"D-did he-" Sam stuttered. I flicked my gaze back to him, allowing all three to see the harshness in my eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is probably yes."

"Marty?"

I turned to Dean. "What?"

"Put the head down."

I dropped Boyd's severed head.

"Come here." The hunter opened his arms and I faked a sob before accepting the hug. "You weren't gonna tell us about that, were you?" I shook my head. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe now."

"Thank you for not throwing me away, Dean," I said softly. The elder Winchester chuckled.

"Don't thank me, Marty. After all, how could we throw away someone so Bad-Ass?"

"Am I awesome now?" I asked.

"You were always awesome."

I laughed and the Winchesters trusted me more than ever. Their mistake.

"Dean, that one's moving," Castiel called our attention over to Elwyn, who was just waking up.

Jack was quick to react, sending a golden blast of power to throw her against the wall where he kept her pinned.

"Wait! Wait!" She cried, "I didn' 'urt Mardina! I swear!"

"Do you work for Felix?" Dean interrogated, pushing me behind him.

"He's my fah'der but I'm not like him! I want du 'elp her! I jus a messenger!"

"Whaddia say, Sammy? Should we shoot the messenger?" Dean asked, keeping his cold eyes on Elwyn.

"No! Please!" Elwyn begged, tears slipping down her face. "I didn' 'urt her!"

"You know, if we shoot the messenger, Dean, it sends one Hell of a message." Like his brother, Sam could turn on the killer inside him like a switch.

"Felix is in Floree'ida, okay? Dat's all I know, I swear!" And it was all she knew because Elwyn had never had a backbone. There was no strength in her.

"Guess its up to you, Marty," Dean said, turning to me. Elwyn looked at me with wide pleading eyes. I regarded her with ice in my own. No second chances. Monsters don't get second chances, I know I never did. I knew I never would.

"I'm your friend, Mardina! Tell dem I'm your friend!" She pleaded. I shook my head.

"You only cared about me when Felix wasn't looking." I was almost shocked by how apathetic and passionless my voice sounded. I watched her without compassion. "You were never my friend."

"No!" Elwyn screeched, "No! I 'elped you! I 'elped you when dey beat you!"

"But you never tried to stop them."

"What?! No!" She sobbed. I smiled at her slightly.

"Go tell Madra I'm sorry."

I sent Jack a nod and with a snap of his fingers, Elwyn was nothing more than flecks of grey drifting to the ground.

Turning around with a sigh, I could feel the eyes of the four others as I bent down and scooped up the rose Jack had given me. I cradled the precious flower in my hands, watching as the blood dripped from its petals in big heavy gobs. It had been perfect once. It wasn't perfect anymore. It would never be perfect again. Or perhaps it could be, just not the right way. Because the blood was oddly beautiful with the way it stained the petals and pooled in the center of the rose.

"I can get you another one," Jack spoke up, "And I'll pay for it this time!"

I turned back to him, smiling down at my little rose.

"No, its okay, Jack. It's a crooked kind of perfect. I think I like it better now."

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

Lyrics from: Buy You A Rose by AJR

(Author's Note: You may or may not have figured it out by now, but Martina Imogene Linville is insane. MARTY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS STORY. SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Marty also had Borderline Personality Disorder before she went insane. So, even at her most stable points in this story, she is not to be trusted. Remember, she manipulates peoples emotions. She makes them feel what she wants them to feel. Any other character's actions may or may not actually be their own. Please keep this in mind going forward.)

[sainadazai]

Chapter 5

^^^

A/n Hey I drew a lil doodoo drawing of y/ns suit

So yeah, this was a quick one when I was bored. Maybe Ill do more art for this book and better art later. I also apologize for the body type being on the side of thin- curvy.

I simply drew the common body shape for MHA's animated style, and then made the thighs a lil thicker because I felt like a garter deserves some nice thighs . If its not your body type, or it offends you, I apologize, and I can take it off this story if it bothers anyone.

Anyway..

-

On the way out of school that day, you could faintly hear the quarrel of two boys from your class, the ones whose fight earlier scared Ojiro. They seemed to have so much in common, and yet it pitted against them. They needed a wake up call, but it wasn't yours to give. The yelling was hard to just walk by, but you did your best to tune it out, you'd ease dropped enough earlier when you watched them put their hearts into their battle on the screen.

Still, your mind was preoccupied, so you walked past them easily, not even sparing a glance. Eyes stuck to the ground in concentration. Just trying to follow the little scrapes and grooves in the sidewalk you stood on.

Todoroki said thank you, after you apologized. As if he'd never heard it before, that's what his voice sounded like. Like no one ever noticed that fear he had in those heterochromatic eyes. Whatever happened to him, stuck with him. Bothered him, even. You could just tell.

Why hadn't you said something more? Or maybe all you said was all he neede-

"Oof!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," He did see you, he saw you from meters away, looking at the ground. Perfect time for him to execute his plan.

You looked up from your spot on the ground, having fallen over. There stood Shoto Todoroki, in all his deadpan glory, looking down at you. He wasn't offering a hand so you did your best to stand on your own while keeping your underwear hidden. The boy didn't seem like the type who would look, but you never know.

"Ah, don't worry, um, its my fault anyways." You had been waiting for the chance to talk to him, but now he stood in front of you, there was nothing you felt comfortable saying. Earlier in class you totally embarrassed yourself in front of him, and then scared him. In a mean way too, in a trauma way.

"I don't really see how it's your fault."

So he did want to talk to you? He could have simply left after the brief apologies, but he stayed, protesting your claim. That and the privacy, made it much easier to respond to the boy.

"Well, I was staring at the ground, so not really the best way to walk through a place where anyone else could be." You kept your gaze at his shoes, to prevent from overthinking and getting flustered. This was supposed to be the beginning of a great friendship.

"Hm, you always look at the ground?" He pondered seriously, as you used his voice to block out the sounds of yelling a couple hundred meters away.

What was he implying with that question? Did he mean it as an insult, or was he just curious? He always seemed so sincere with his words, blunt but soft. It was strange to you, but it felt trustworthy.

"What do you mean?"

"You always seem to be looking at the ground, like in the quirk assessment test, and when you were beating me earlier. Why do you do that, L/n?" Todoroki took a step forward, standing one meter away from you.

"I guess to distract myself?" You were guessing out loud, but again something about it felt okay. Like you could say whatever you wanted and he would still just be there, curious eyes staring down at you.

"What are you distracting yourself fr-"

"You were super cool in the training earlier!" You almost yelled at him, not feeling like describing the eyes that felt so prying on you every time you spoke. Similarly not wishing to relive all the years where talking got you beat up in alleys on your walk home, and black eyes began to mark your face more commonly than not. It's not like that would be important to him, at least your wounds healed.

He had that trauma, whatever it was, constantly screaming at him in the mirrors or reflections of himself. A scar that widens his stoic eyes at the mere presence of heat, something that must hurt him very badly. Your childhood bullies are nothing to him, so it's best to talk about anything else.

"Oh, um thank you, L/n, but you were the one who won after all. I won't let you best me again, you know."

"Oh, I um, I'm not sure that win was fair.." You rubbed the back of your neck, hiding your embarrassment for your actions earlier. It didn't seem to cross your mind that what you did was actually what you were supposed to do. All you could think of was the look in his eyes that you put there, and you didnt ever wanna see it again.

Todoroki could sense that feeling of guilt in you, he'd felt it plenty of times before. Alone in his room when he dreams of his mothers face, sitting at his desk at school, thinking of all of the times he lost control of his quirk as a kid, in training. He learned to see it in others, you felt like it was an unfair win because you had scared him. That was your job, though, wasn't it? Why were you so upset at your success? He didn't understand.

"Did you break a rule, or something?"

"No.."

"Then how could you have cheated?"

"I just.. Look whatever happened to you eye-" you stopped as you noticed him stiffen. It wouldn't be nice to make him relive his trauma either, so what were you meant to say?

"I just shouldn't have used heat, I could tell that was a burn scar and it was a cruel thing to do." you looked down at the ground feeling like the shittiest hero in the world.

"You were playing the villain, though, weren't you?" He spoke again, seeming to have regained his stoic presence and stone face.

"I guess I was, but I'm here to become a hero. A hero wouldn't do something like that."

"Maybe they would." He started talking with certainty that disobeyed his use of the word 'maybe'.

"Huh?"

"Not all heroes are what you think they are, L/n." He looked you dead in the eyes, the intensity of his aura growing and it almost felt like you were supposed to cower in fear. Still, you held your ground, despite now being only inches away from him.

"Sounds like you speak from experience," You tilted your head becoming more outwardly spoken and allowing your thoughts to exit your mouth.

"That's a topic for another day, goodnight, L/n." With that, he turned away and walked stiffly out of U.A.'s gates. Leaving a million questions to run through your mind.

Did this make you friends now? When would that other day come? Had you just eternally ruined your chances at being a hero? Was he right? Were some heroes bad, like you? Were you bad? There were too many questions for you to answer yourself. So you settled from going home and making some dinner with your parents, you missed them, after having to be friends with other kids all day. They would be your comforting escape from highschool, or well, two days worth of highschool.

-

When you arrived at the barrier-like gates of your school the next morning, you were rushed with reporters. They were men and women, tall and short, circling around you all at once. You could hear the sweet and kind voice of Uraraka from afar, but you couldn't see her over the swarm of reporters. It was terrifying.

"What's it like having all might as your teacher?"

"Is the hero course majorly improved by the symbol of peace's presence?"

"Why did All Might become a teacher?"

"Have you done any training with the number one pro?"

Being here almost felt like being in your own mind. Swarmed with questions you don't have the answers too, or the confidence to answer them if you do. It was overwhelming, the world began to spin around you and your palms grew sweaty. E/c eyes shot in every direction to find an escape but they couldn't, you were trapped. Then, little black dots started to crowd up your vision like ants in your eyes and you fell unconscious.

The brown haired girl who had been happily indulging reporters noticed your fall and ran to you, grabbing hold of your arm. She wasn't really sure what had happened, but she decided to just take you into class with her. The reporters busying themselves with other arriving students.

Ochako took it upon herself to take hold of your backpack and drag your limp body by it, all the way up the hill and into the buildings of U.A. She wouldn't admit it, due to being a bit shy, but you caught her eye on the first day of school, and she'd been meaning to befriend you. Unlike the group of girls who she noticed had adopted you, Ochako spent her first few days with Deku and Iida. Securing herself in a nice little group with them.

However, you were very pretty, and adorably shy, and she really wanted to be your friend. Then after your awesome performance in yesterday's training, she was set on it. This was a great opportunity for her to help someone out, and make a new friend!

Strange looks came from every direction as the short, pink-cheeked girl dragged your seemingly lifeless form through the halls. They were both concerned for you, and confused at her calmness in the situation. However, no one spoke on it, fearing a hero class student might have some weird reason to do a strange thing like this.

Well, no one until Deku. He had been excited to greet his friend until he noticed her unusual baggage.

"Hi Urarak-Is that L/n?!" His eyes shot wide and he almost jumped back.

She looked down to you, and then back up at the freckled boy, "Oh, yeah" rubbing her neck she added, "She sorta passed out by the reporters and I couldn't just leave her there!"

"Oh my god! Is she okay? Should we take her to recovery girl? What if she has iron deficiency? Did the reporters zap her with some sort of quirk?"

"Deku...Deku...DEKU!"

"Wahh!?Yes?"

"She is fine, I think she just got overwhelmed." Uraraka tried to calm him. She wasn't all that sure about your condition herself, but it didn't seem crazy like Midoriya was implying. You just looked panicked. Her head turned as soon, Todoroki walked up to 1.A. 's door.

"Oh, hello L/n.." he looked down at you, kicked your side a bit to check if you were dead or not. Honestly, he wasn't very surprised to see you passed out in the halls, having assumed you were met with the reporters as well. Todoroki couldn't blame you for falling unconscious, he wished he could have, too.

At his nudge, you stirred awake, and then all at once, shot up to your feet defensively. "A-All Mights cool, okay! He's fine, he's just fine. Please I-" Then your eyes cleared and you were no longer in front of the school. The people surrounding you were no longer reporters, but your classmates.

"Oh, um, hi..guys?"

"I already said hello to you, L/n."

"While I was unconscious?"

"Yes."

"How does tha-"

"Get outta my way you losers!" The puff of blonde hair and rabies stormed through the halls. Back slumped like an angry old man, scowl resting on his face. He was not excited for school after yesterday, and those damn reporters made it worse, bringing up the sludge monster incident. So imagine the rage when the annoying girl who placed just behind him on almost everything was at the door, looking stupid, and nervous, and in his way.

"L/n! You better get out of that doorway!"

You squeaked, not because bakugou's empty threats scared you, but because if you defied him, that meant speaking words. He seemed pretty good at words, so you didn't want to test it. His voice was also way too loud for someone who had just woken up from what you thought was a near death experience.

People were scary.

Soon enough, however, everyone was settled in class. You, in your seat next to Todoroki, who didn't seem quite as cold as the day prior. Not to say his face was any less stone-like or his voice was any less monotone, but the aura around him wasn't as intense. That comforted you as Aizawa began the days homeroom period.

"Decent work on yesterday's combat training, you guys. I saw the video feeds and went over each of your team's results. Bakugou, you're talented, so don't sulk like a child about your loss, okay?"

Said boy huffed a breath "Yeah, whatever."

"And midoriya.."

He continued talking about how Midoriya has to break himself to use his quirk, but you tuned it out because the memory of seeing it was pretty gross.

"L/n, your battle with Todoroki was risky, he was less than a foot away from a victory by the time you took action, additionally, you're going to have to get those nerves under control. We can't have you apologizing every time you use your quirk. It's a waste of air."

His call out of your name was enough to shock your eyes open, but him criticizing your work in front of others? That was terrifying. You knew he was right, about everything, it was his job to be, after all. Still, it hurt to hear, considering it wasn't like you intended on being shy. Your body just clamped up and started to sweat when other people came around. It got super hot and loud and scary until you muttered an apology, nothing about it was voluntary. If anything, you really wanted to be extroverted and say what's on your mind and be bold. The world just seemed to have different plans, you supposed.

"Sor- I mean, uh, yes sir!"

Todoroki shot you a side glance , internally a bit proud at your ability to stop the apology that rested on your tongue. He was having an internal battle with himself about why he wanted it and why he didn't. The argument points being; it's adorable when you're shy, it's kind to apologize - versus - you being confident yesterday was arousing, and making quick progress is a sign of intelligence. A tough battle for the young boy's mind.

"Today we'll be choosing a class representative. Hurry up and choose before class ends." Aizawa zipped himself away in his sleeping bag and the class was left confused. Until you suppose everybody wanted to be class rep. Then there was an abundance of screaming and begging. From the red haired boy, the pink skinned girl, the kind girl from lunch. The whole class thought they would be worthy leaders. You heavily disagreed.

From your experience in previous schooling, class representatives were meant to be somebody smart, strong minded, compassionate, a good leader. These were just a ton of kids begging for attention, really, you aspired to be just like them.

Aizawa was right, though, you needed to get the whole shy thing under control, and fast if you wanted people here to view you as a threat. So you decided you probably wanted momo as class rep and slumped in your seat to strategize ways to be more bold.

While you were zoning off in your seat, Iida took charge of the situation, you guessed it was always going to come down to a vote, but good on him for 'coming up with it.'

"Hey, L/n."

"Wha?! Oh todoroki, um, yes?"

"Who are you choosing?"

"Um, Yaoyorozu.."

"Why?"

"Well, she is smart, and kind, and probably a good leader, so"

"Okay. Me too then."

His words didn't make sense to you. Was he agreeing with you just because of something you said?vIt couldn't be. Maybe he was insisting that he, too, was a good leader. That would make more sense than agreeing with you.

"You're a good leader too?"

"No. I will also vote for yaoyorozu."

"B-b-but...WHY!?!" your eyes widened in shock as you whisper-yelled at him.

"You don't want me to?" he asked, still in deadpan.

"I-well I do, B-but um, nevermind." It was better to return your gaze to yo[ur desk. He would think you are weird if you said something about it being because of you. He probably just also saw those traits in momo, it had nothing to do with you.

-

There were almost tears in your eyes. It felt as if the whole world was rooting against you, cheering for your failure. Eyes were watching and glaring, it felt like it'd be better to just curl up into a ball on the floor. Be so small they cant see you anymore, then maybe the universe would stop hating you so much.

They were out of soba for lunch. You would rather starve.

Next to you, on the way to some random table, momo was complaining about how Midoriya was president. She didn't understand what he really could do, being that he was so shy to attention. He reminded her of you, but she would never say that. It would make you nervous, like you and he were competitors, and he is so much nicer than you.

"Hey! Over here!" Ashido called to the two of you, waving her hand frantically.

"As I was saying, he does show some signs of good leadership, but im worried he is too nervous right now."

"Mm, yeah.." Your hand came up to wave at said boy, who had been making an uncomfortable eye-contact with you for quite some time.

Over at Midoriya's table, the conversation about pros had shifted to you. As Iida was explaining his family business, or hero-business, it led him to the memory of having been told a story about you. About your dad, to be precise.

"Yes. And I dont think I'm the only descendant of a pro in our class."

"What?!' Ochako screamed, eyes wide and shaking in excitement.

His gaze flickered to where you walked slowly next to a rambling black haired girl. No lunch in hand and mind seemingly elsewhere.

"Yes. I recall the story of one rising pro from years ago, under the name of Magneto. He was almost in the top ten ranks after less than a year of hero work, and climbed quickly. His private life was kept under wraps but his last name was L/n. That, and the metal quirk lead me to believe that the L/n of our class is his relative in some way." Iida presented the information with less gestures than he used for his own family, but more like he was solving a mystery, one he seemed quite proud to have deciphered.

"Oh I know Magneto, he retired around the same time All Might got famous." Uraraka added.

They were both quite indifferent at this information, but Midoriya was thinking a million miles a second. He knew exactly why your relative retired. In the battle where All Might saved over a hundred people, and became famous, the battle he'd watched a thousand times as a kid, Magneto was injured, along with his pregnant wife. It caught the news a couple days later and he had written down everything.

So was this hero your father? Uncle? Cousin? Is this how you got to be so strong? He was so busy feeling in awe of you he began to stare. Lost in the gate of your stride, and the stillness of your lips, how they were pursed in a straight line as if you disagreed with something. Those e/c eyes were however lost in thought. Until you spoke something quietly and looked up at him, holding eye contact.

He blushed slightly at being caught and decided he should just wave, and you waved back.

From the other side of the table, Todoroki could hear everything. He could acknowledge that you were strong, with or without a famous dad, but he wondered if the pro-hero dad thing was the same for you as it was for him, He'd hope not, he assumed not, too. Even if your life wasn't what he had thought it was, you always smiled so brightly. When you thought no o[ne was looking, you'd smile at Midoriya's success, and the fighting of the kids in front of you. Sometimes he even caught you smiling to yourself in class, as you just wrote down some English questions.

That smile didn't feel like it came from struggle, or masking pain, it felt genuine. He found that he really liked that.

"Warning Level 3 Security Breach!" 

[dzpenumbra]

10/1/22

Welcome to October. "Spooky Month" as they call it. My birth month. No idea what to expect this year, but it's gonna be an interesting one.

I'm developing this habit of having deep realizations earlier in the night now, and then putting a pin in it for this time right now. Journal time. So... the one I had today was peer pressure. I'm sure I've touched on it before.

When I was in middle school, I would got to these sleepover camps that were like... focused on teaching good values and life skills to adolescents. I guess it was kinda like Christian camp for atheists or something? I dunno. There were usually hippie types working as staff, but sorta... straight edge hippies, I guess. I'm trying to remember, it was like over 20 years ago and everyone seemed so much older than me back then, but looking back at my age, I'm probably older now than most of them were at the time.

They were advertised as peer leadership training. I'm editing again, I'm trying to define exactly what these things were using technical jargon, fuck it, I'm just gonna use plain english. They would do workshops on like... peer pressure. And bullying. And sexual harassment, consent, sexual health. Drugs. Drug use/abuse got real messy with me towards the end, because they included cigarettes too and I was a very big cigarette fan for a big stretch of time. Still weird saying that past-tense. And I was a very big proponent of the tenet they taught that you should be making informed decisions about substance use, but I guess they had to lean heavily on prohibition because of government funding? I don't know exactly. But they taught me very important things about life at a very formative age, and despite the falling outs we had - being essentially kicked out and asked not to come back because I chose to accept the risks of smoking and partake anyway, to not abstain - I am still grateful for what I had been taught.

I just sorta... have assumed that everyone knew these things. Like how addiction works. Chasing the peaks and recovering from the valleys, the elastic like effect. Like how people will coerce you into their point of view, regularly, and treat it like completely normal behavior. Like how people will use eachother as outlets to work out their inner demons through. It's hard to keep them in mind myself all the time, but it's even harder to process that there are others out there who never learned this. Who have no idea what I'm talking about when I talk about it. And that this isn't just some other people that aren't aware of these concepts, it's most. It's the overwhelming majority.

Having these realizations. After dedicating decades to being the best version of myself I can muster. Is a huge factor contributing to why I don't trust most people. Why I fear people. Like a tiger amongst a herd of sheep. Sure, at first glance you might be scared of the tiger there, but if those sheep catch wind, that fucker is getting trampled in a second. And in this analogy, he doesn't even eat sheep, he's just tryin to chill with his friends. He's just... being what he is.

Learning how to trust and live with the herd... no offense to any of you at all, there's nothing wrong with innocence - I'd love to help any of you learn as much as you'd like, just... know that there's always a pricetag for departing from the bliss of ignorance. Trusting those that I witnessed go apeshit just from being asked to stay indoors for a few months is just... something I will not forget. Trusting those who cheat and steal, lie and betray. I don't like having to keep talking about these concepts. It makes me sad. Honestly, it just deflated me.

I feel so... pessimistic, I guess. I've been struggling to find the right words to fit concepts in my head, it's a weird shift to the way I've been thinking. The concepts and situations I'm trying to convey through conversation have grown intensely vivid and powerful, so I guess keeping up with accurate language definitely takes some adapting. I feel very... depressed? I guess? Like my look on the world is bleak. I feel it in the way I've been speaking here. I know not all people are ill-informed, or amoral, or willingly empathetically detached. There are good people out there, and likely way more than I imagine. I really want to make sure I balance out my thinking here, not as a correction to my prior statements, but as a contribution to add perspective. Yin to the Yang, I guess. There are really good people out there, and I'm really excited to connect with them.

I guess the only thing staying in my way is the fear of meeting someone bad first. And a big part of that, for me personally, is my innate tendency to look past peoples' shortcomings, their failings, their bad traits. To see every living thing as redeemable, every person as a very old child trying to survive in a crazy world. I have looked past very bad things. I have been taken advantage of, many times. I have volunteered for a lot of those roles. Maybe out of martyrdom. Maybe out of pure kindness (love?). Maybe just out of loneliness. It's hard to tell anymore. I'm scared of yet another person coming in and attaching their feeding tube to my spinal column, slowly draining me dry, while reassuring me by parroting platitudes and trying to be a surrogate parent or something.

I woke up one day. You know, it would be poetic to say that, but it's not true. I realized over time that pretty much every person in my life was doing that. Using me as a sanctuary or distraction. Using me as a place to vent, to project their insecurities or issues with other people. Using me as a cooperative self-replenishing source of praise, hope and optimism. And very rarely reciprocating. Rarely even offering. I've even had people giving me shit because I didn't actively pursue reciprocation as though I'm a waiter chasing down a table that walked out on their bill or some shit. I realized that every friend I had at the time was one of these. And I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner. I guess you just don't realize it until you can recognize it. I guess it's kinda like... like a Plato's cave allegory thing. Like you don't know there are other kinds of people, that these relationships are not healthy, until you leave the cave... then it's just like... Well... I guess there are two paths there (at least, shades of grey, but two main paths). Go quest for the Holy Grail, because you know what healthy is supposed to look like now. Or. Avoid and become meticulously calculating, researching and performing reconnaissance, masterminding the next step... and then never taking it... because the scary people are out there, and they'll get you if you fuck up. If you get any of it wrong.

I don't know which psychological disorder of the week that kind of talk is? Maybe PTSD, maybe depression, maybe anxiety, maybe all of it. Whatever, they're all just symptoms - byproducts of being stuck in ways of thinking like this. This is what is really fucking my social life lately, and I really just wish I could get confidence pills (that didn't just numb my emotions) and just go meet some cool people. I wish I was wired like that. It just feels so fucking awkward. I feel like I overwhelm people. Like I'm some crazy hermit coming out of the woods and I'm all bug-eyed and look cracked out and shit because I'm completely overwhelmed by the sensation of being in proximity to another person. It's like my body just starts dumping oxytocin the second I get within 10 feet of another human, it's absolutely batshit insane how sensitive I am to being in proximity to people. It concerns be that they are not familiar with this. Dogs fucking love it. I get so stoked with new dogs and they get really excited to play. People... people just don't seem to read that language quite as well. And that kinda scares me. I mean that sincerely, it sounds a bit dumb, but I think it's an important thing.

The longer I'm away from people, the more alien in-person interactions become. Then, when I see someone walk by my house real close, my eyes bug out and I go look out the window like a goddamn cat. "Wow. What's this? What are they up to? What's going on here?" It's hard to explain to people who haven't been through it.

What people like me, people who have trouble reintegrating into society after long periods of isolation, could really use is just like... a really patient, loving, kind, compassionate, extroverted friend. One who educates themselves on how that individual expresses themselves after long periods of isolation. One who learns the language and can help break the ice for them, so it's not so much pressure. A safety net in case the awkward shit does go down. Like wearing a helmet and pads the first time you drop into a quarter-pipe, or at least just a helmet, you know?

Every therapist I've had has just said "go to the coffee shop, go to the grocery store, go to the skatepark." They are not wrong. But all I've needed for the past several years of trying to make this work was one chill, kind person to go with me to start breaking the ice. Training wheels. And my past two therapists both acted put a lot of resistance towards this. The whole crossing the line between therapist and friend thing. I get it now, after it had gotten a little too... personal I guess. Tough career, that's why I stepped back from counseling. I love the idea of it, but I would just try to be everyone's best friend and I would just be drained dry every week.

Brain is movin all over the place tonight. Recorded another Session session last night, pretty stoked for stitching together some quick reels and just plopping that on Insta at least. Maybe doing weekly or bi-weekly YouTube reels too? I don't know. I think it sets the stage for snowskating really well, and it would be really good to get in the habit of releasing content regularly. Just like the old days. The move has me a bit rattled and... sorta floating in open seas... It's a weird place in life right now. But I'm reconnecting with my brother and that's going well. Actually, things with most of my family are going well. And that's really the first time I've been able to say that in a long time. So I'm going to take a moment and celebrate that.

There's a whole world out there to experience. I'm ready to... I cut myself off. I'm afraid I'm not ready. But I'm gonna have to be! So... fuck it? I guess? XD

There's the inspirational poetic wrap-up for this shitshow of a brain dump. How to break free of agoraphobia? Fuck it. Send it, dude.

[bn-hero-academia-scenarios]

Hello, I just found your blog and I'm like, in love with it? You just put two of my fave characters here and wowowow. So, could i maybe get a scenario of Kirishima and his best friend hanging out in his house and he suddenly picks her up ( they both like each other) and they just play around tickling each other and so, until he suddenly gets a bit sentimental and his best friend comforts him?? Thanks!!! Hope this wasn't too specific!

Because today is my baby boy’s birthday, I was obligated to write as many scenarios and headcanons for him as is physically possible. 

Also slight disclaimer: I did not at all proofread this, so if it makes no sense, I apologize 

It had been ages since Kirishima had seen his best friend. He’d been accepted to the UA about three months ago and hadn’t found any time to meet up with her since. [Y/N] said that she understood how busy he’d become, that she expected that hero training and schoolwork would dominate his schedule, but that didn’t mean he was okay with going so long without seeing her.

Today, however, was different. There was an outbreak of some kind of illness at the school, and so many students and faculty members had been infected that the school was sending everyone back home until it passed. And somehow, by the grace of God, he managed to stay healthy so he could spend this time reconnecting with his old friends. The first person he called, well second if you count his mom, was obviously his bestie [Y/N]. It was still pretty early in the morning and he hoped school hadn’t started yet, and that she’d be able to pick up his call.

“Hello?” The familiar voice greeted, groggily, as though she’d just woken up.

“ [Y/N]? Hey, It’s Eiji! So, I just wanted to let ya know that I’m out of school these next couple days, and was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? Catch up, that sorta thing.” There was a long pause after, and Kirishima worried that she’d fallen back asleep. “ [Y/N]? You still there?”

“Eijirou, where are you right now?”

Kirishima looked around at his surroundings, trying to pinpoint where exactly in the neighborhood he was. “Ah, I’m like 2 blocks from my place, in front of the convenience store. Why?”

The call ended immediately after, and Kirishima stared down at his phone in confusion for several moments. He tried calling back, but there was no response. Just as he was about to start walking again, he heard someone yell his name, and saw someone jump onto his back.

Naturally, he did what any person would do in that scenario, he screamed and activated his hardening quirk to protect himself.

“Ow! Eiji your skin is like rocks, stop it, it hurts.”  [Y/N] ‘s said from on top of him. Kirishima visibly relaxed. His skin going back to its baby-soft state.

“Geez  [Y/N], you scared me! What’re you even doing?”

“Okay well first of all, you’re supposed to be a hero, so a teenage girl in pajamas should not scare you. Secondly, I’m cutting class to visit my absolute best friend. And third, because you want to use your quirk on me— a weak, quirkless civilian— you’re now carrying me to your house so we can have the world’s best movie marathon and gaming tournament.”  [Y/N] said as she tightened her hold around his neck, and wrapped her legs around his waist for support.

Kirishima rolled his eyes at her dramatic antics and let out a mock sigh, “Whatever you say  [Y/N]. Whatever you say.” He began the slow trek back to his home, only briefly stopping when his companion’s legs started slipping off his back, so he reached back and grabbed onto her thighs to help support her. Neither party chose to address the crimson blush on both of their faces.

Morning turned to afternoon in the Kirishima family home. Eijirou’s parents had been at work since this morning, so the two had been alone all day. As per  [Y/N]’s plan they watched several movies, all of which were romantic comedies, and then turned to video games.

“Oh my god, it’s like you aren’t even trying here Eijirou! You’ve hit me maybe once in this whole round!”

“Shut up! It’s because you keep making Mileena teleport! I can’t hit someone who’s constantly switching sides like that!”  

“Pft, you’re just mad Liu Kang doesn’t stand a chance against my girl.” [Y/N] teased, continuing to teleport and stab Eiji’s character.

“Oh that’s it, sneak attack!” Kirishima yelled before tossing his controller on the couch, pinning her down and tickling [Y/N] mercilessly.

“H-hey! Quit that! Ha- Eiji! This is sooo cheating!” She laughed, trying to push him off, but he just kept going.

“It’s not manly to keep spamming the same move, this is what you get.” He said grinning down at her while she continued laughing.  God, he’d missed this, missed their friendship, missed her. It had been way too long without seeing her. It’d been too long since the last time he’d seen that dramatic flair of hers, since he’d heard her laugh, seen her smile. He had no idea when then next time he’d see her would be either. It could be next week, next month, or even longer than that. He’d be without her for who knows how long, and all he had with her now was a couple of days? How unfair was that?

“Eijirou? Eiji? Hey, are you alright?”

[Y/N]’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. At some point, he must have gotten so lost in his thoughts that he stopped tickling her. “Huh? Y-yeah, of course! I’m fine, why would you ask?” He replied, trying to give her one of his cheery smiles.

“Well, there’s the fact that you’re crying, for one.” She said, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. God, he hadn’t even noticed that. Crying in front of a girl? In front of the girl he liked? Loved? That was so uncool of him, so unmanly.

[Y/N] sat up on the ground, “Eiji, talk to me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” The concern and worry in her voice was overpowering.

“It’s… It’s just that…. It’s been so long since I last saw you…. And I don’t know when or if I’ll ever see you again! And if I do, who knows how long it’ll be between visits? What if I don’t see you again until graduation? What if we stop texting? What if we stop talking and we stop being friends? What happens if I never even get to tell you how much I like you because I’m never here! What do I do [Y/N]?” Kirishima said every word sincerely, and the more he revealed the more emotional he got. By the time he finished talking, he was full on sobbing, he was barely able to get the words. It broke [Y/N]’s heart to see him like this, and it broke his to be this weak and unmanly in front of her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She stroked his back, and tried to calm him, and to coax his breathing back into a normal pattern. Once she got him into a fairly calm state, she cupped his face in her hands and made him look her in the eyes.

“Eijirou, honey, listen to me. You do not ever have to worry about losing me, or our friendship. I know it’s been a long time, and that life is unpredictable, but I know that our relationship is strong enough to overcome it. I’ll never be able to just, stop texting and talking to you, you’re way too important in my life to lose. I will always be here for you. I will always be your best friend, and if you ever need to hear that, just call me and I’ll tell you whenever you need me. So don’t worry: I’m here for you, through thick and thin, whether I see you every day or every year, I’ll always stand by you.” She wiped a few tears from his cheek with her thumbs and gently pressed a kiss to his forehead. “And as for you telling me about your feelings, I think I heard ‘em loud and clear, and I guarantee they’re reciprocated.” She said smiling at him, and Kirishima couldn’t help but feel the corners of his lips move up in response.

“So, now that we’ve got all that covered, how about I get back to kicking your ass in this game? Sound good honey?” She joked, grabbing his controller and handing it to him.

“Oh, you’re on babe.” He grinned as they started a new round.

Kirishima and [Y/N] may not see each other as often as most couples, but they know their relationship is strong enough to overcome any obstacles life throws their way.