#I'm just so tired of seeing people pretend they're accomplishing anything

[igneouswyvern]

I'll never understand so much of internet activism. Like I definitely see the value in spreading informational posts, lists of places to donate, or details on the boycott, but I'll never understand people who are like "we HAVE to keep the tags at the top of trending!!! Spam posts about Palestine!! Reblog every Palestine post you see or else you're a monster siding with the Israeli government!!!" Like ??? Who does this help. Putting #freepalestine at the top of tumblr trending tags is not going to do a damn thing for the people being bombed in Palestine are you insane. Whether or not I choose to reblog a post is not going to mean the life or death of a Gaza resident these things change NOTHING.

I see it time and time again, no matter what terrible thing is happening in another country. People on the internet become convinced that they can do something just by posting. They use guilt tactics and post spamming and sit back and think they've accomplished something. In reality while spreading info is a good thing, there is a hard limit on the amount of impact posting and reblogging can actually do for the issues we're trying to address.

This is your official pass to not feel guilty about not reblogging all those guilt-tripping posts about Palestine or any other issues, by the way. Call your representatives or donate if you can. Don't buy from the boycott companies. That's about all you can do here at home, and don't let the internet's view of activism poison your mind and make you feel undue guilt for something that doesn't matter.

[veersnz]

Just a vent feel free to ignore

God I'm just so fucking tired. Like I try my best, I fucking do, but that's the thing when you have a hidden disability, no matter how much you push yourself to the limit, you can never be like everyone else. I have no social life anymore aside of people on the internet because the only free time I have for myself is spent in bed recovering before I push myself again to the brink of collapsing for the sake of an education that might not even serve me in the future. It could be somewhat okay if I were an introvert but lord knows I'm not. And it's just... I'm waiting desperately for a diagnosis, between the gaslighting of doctors and my own actual gaslighting (because god it feels so much better lying to myself so I can at least pretend internally that I'm like everyone else) and I don't even count the incomprehension of my family that just, doesn't understand my struggle and are waiting for a diagnosis to take my pain seriously. I have an appointment in April with a specialist (waiting list times are a joke lmao) and I hope this time I'll get an answer, or at least be taken seriously so I don't feel like a joke myself. Everyday I try to make it palatable, I lie and downplay how I feel, and I'm seen as a fighter, "oh you're so brave and courageous", but how are they going to see me once the pressure breaks me ? It's not because I don't trust people, but whenever I open up about my struggles it's either "everyone gets tired sometimes/I'm sure it's not that bad/have you tried this and this ?" or "keep hoping ! It'll get better someday" and I'm not even sure what's worse. I know some of those words don't come from a bad place but god Janice I don't think blue spirulina is gonna cure me-

Point is, I keep hoping yes, if I didn't would I even be here ? But please don't tell me it'll get better, there's no certainty in that, and I don't want to blindly hope myself into ignorance. Do I have to wait 15 years in this hole until I can finally observe the possibility of it becoming my everyday life ? Or can I already start so that I can make my peace ? This thing I have has been poisoning me for years now, I've tried so many things I've lost count, I think it's safe to say it's a part of me now. I feel like an idiot putting this there, but it feels good talking about it to the almighty god of social media. I'll keep hoping and fighting day after day because I know my days might be numbered and I want to accomplish as much as I can before I become either wheelchair-bound or too sick to do anything else than survive. This will be my wish for this Christmas, having some time to accomplish the few dreams I have~ and for everyone on this earth to do the same. Despite all of this though I feel grateful for my family, my friends and the teachers at my school, even though no one could understand everything I go through, they're still by my side, cheering me up and trying their best to help me. And I couldn't be happier.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Hey, I dont know if your requests are open, but I saw the anon who Requested Armin encouraging you to eat and I'm struggling with eating lately as well. Those headcannons were super helpful and made me feel so much better, especially knowing I'm not the only one going through the whole food anxiety thing. 💗💗 If you ever have the chance could you make some head canons of the same request with Reiner too? Hes my absolute comfort character! 🥺🥺

Disclaimer: this one goes into more depth about the aspects of eating anxiety and disorders, it never encourages nor romanticize them but it describes them in details, it might be triggering for some people.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind anon, i just thought about how Reiner would approach this in a different light than Armin. If what you wanted was more light and fluffy themese then you can tell me and i will write you another one.

Reiner & you helping each other with eating anxiety

{ Reiner x reader | tw: heavy eating problems, tw: recovering ED | angst with comfort | modren au }

{"Apple tree" circa 1900 Jan Ciągliński Polish, 1858-1913 }

He knows before you tell him, how could he not? It's something he's more than just acquainted with.

The all familiar feeling of sourness in your mouth, the heaviness of your throat that feels glued shut from the inside whenever you bring a bite even remotely close to your mouth.

It's tiring, it's exhausting and it's all he has ever known.

The nausea, the stomachache, the whole ever repeating cycle of bringing the food to your room, promising yourself that you will finish it but it ends up joining the pile of rotting half full plates on the far dresser where you can't see it. 

He pretends it doesn't bother him, he has it under control is what he tells himself. After all, as long as it's just him it doesn't really register just how bad it is.

But not you, oh god anything but you going through this too.

He sees himself in you, he sees all the tiredness from fighting each day just to accomplish something other people get for granted. The unfairness of having to fight your brain just to survive.

He doesn't bring it up to you, he knows just how exhausting it is to have this conversation over and over again with every new person who thinks they're being friendly by making you explain your whole being to them.

By having you turn your complex struggles into bite sizes just so they won't get disturbed of how bad it gets at times, of having to babysit every ever so curious eye that may have had good intentions but didn't think about their words twice.

The suppressed rage both of you hide at the unfairness of the situation, that will have a flood of guilt following right after even a grain of that rage slips between the cracks onto an innocent bystander.

And so he makes his actions speak for him instead, he makes sure not a single stupid grain of self loathing will weasel itself into your justified frustration each time you couldn't finish something you thought you would.

He will fight each battle with you, he will be your pillar to lean against just as you were his wake up call.

Making it very clear you're not alone in this, you won't ever be.

He will learn your preference in food no matter how many times it changes, he will take great care in making sure every meal he makes for you won't bother you in texture or taste whilst giving you all the nutritions you need.

Even if you couldn't finish it right now, even if one bite was all you had energy for, that's perfectly understandable and would've been still worth his effort.

But this time neither of you will forget to finish it before the day ends, neither of you will go to bed hungry.

He makes it clear food isn't a reward, it's not something to be earned nor should taking it away be a punishment.

And while he repeated this to himself before, somehow saying it to you is what made him really truly believe it.

He sees your progress to get better, he knows your determination and it fills him not only with pride but with hope for himself too.

Having you by his side, in the bad and good times, is what made this thing far easier than it was alone.

You're deserving of love and care, you're deserving of patience and forgiveness, none is perfect and progress is never a linear line.

Just a single step forward everyday is what both of you aim for, eventually it will add up no matter how many steps back happen on the bad days.

He makes sure to change scenery too when both of you have lunch, maybe you can eat it in the backyard today or maybe an in bed breakfast.

Maybe the both of you can pack your food and just aimlessly drive around.

Even at family events or friends hangout, he will make sure that you have a comfort safe food to eat if everything else seemed overwhelming at the time. 

You're not a bother nor a burden, it's asking for help and taking care of each other that even got humanity this far ahead.

And without realising it, you too do take care of him when you share your drinks with him on the days he felt like water tasted disgusting. Or the times you held his hand in comfort after he spent half an hour just staring at his untouched plate.

Both of you will heal your relationship with food, neither of you is broken nor are you damaged. You've just been hurt too much and this was one of the many ways your brains tried to cope, to get control over a single aspect in your lives just to feel stable.

It's an unhealthy coping mechanism, it's the thing that helped keep you sane before when things were falling apart but it's a really really damaging one in the long run.

You're not crazy nor overreacting, you're perfectly human.

And while unlearning something is impossible, since it will be a part of you that lingers no matter how small. You will learn to cope healthy with it, to calmly deal with the aftermath.

To find alternative solutions that don't come at the cost of your physical or mental health, to find peace with the thing. 

He knows that and he's grateful to have you with him in this journey, where both of you learn how to take care of yourself and your needs again.

[kpop-pick-me-up]

| Taehyung x Ravenclaw! Reader (fluff) :00 can't | | Wait for the HMC au bby💜 |

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Taehyungxravenclaw! Reader pt. 1/?

A/N- You got it! Sorry it took so long I was adjusting to my new school schedule before I started writing again. And SAME! It's my motivation to keep improving, as I don't want to write/post a HMC au I wouldn't want to read. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to tag you or not,so just let me know for the next parts. Anyways, hope you enjoy sorry if it's absolute garbage :[ I'm going to go back and check it one more time tomorrow to look for any typos I missed, but until then please ignore them.

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The halls were buzzing with excitement all over the castle. You couldn't walk 15 feet without hearing the news about the rumored new students. From what your ears had gathered from students rushed conversations while walking to and from your lessons and the occasional accidental (read: deliberate) snooping, they were international students coming from somewhere in Asia. You were quite uninterested to say the least. (Or so you tried to tell yourself). If anything, you were confused and even a little irked at the news. As rumors tend to lack factual evidence, there's is no telling how many new students you'll be getting, how old they are, when exactly they'll be arriving and last but not least WHY they are coming to hogwarts on the cusp of the first exam season of the year. How inconvenient for the new students and the teachers, to be plopped into a class and then taking an exam on it days later, in a foreign language as you can only assume English isn't their first language. You became so invested in the news however, that you just HAD to solve it. You had to figure out all the answers. You saw it as a challenge: a riddle if you will. This always happens when new rumors surface. You try to convince yourself that you just don't care, that you remain unbothered at all times. But your Ravenclaw spirit sees this as a brain game. You just love the rush of sneaking around and discovering the truth before everyone else. You never share what you discover though, it's just a personal accomplishment that you record in your journal. Sometimes you've gotten into a couple sticky situations but nothing terrible or detention worthy. Just a "Miss L/N, why are you pretending to be a gargoyle above the gardens?" Or a "Can you please stop smelling people's closets, we assure you we will find whoever is taking our gillyweed on our own. " You were so close to solving the last one too. Your money is on one of the Weasley kids. You could've sworn that they left a trail of fallen wet Dill leaves that they used to replace the gillyweed that led all the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Your steps are quick as you make the last turn to the doors of the great Hall for breakfast, and your quick pace is kept all the way until you're seated at the nearly empty Ravenclaw table. Usually the table is bustling with students shoving food down their throat, chatting up a storm to their friends whose heavy heads are playing a sleepy game of tag with the table or their cereal bowl. This morning, however, you decided to arrive to breakfast as early as possible, for the sole purpose of gathering more information on the new students -but don't get it wrong, you aren't interested in them: no. Your mission to gather information on them stems from the fact that you need to know what to prepare yourself for. More trouble makers? Dear God, you can barely handle the ones you have. Pompous students that strut down the hallways and expect those around them to worship the ground they walk on? Ugh we don't need anymore of those. Snobs? Bullies? Sweet innocent small children? Not likely. But there's so many possibilities. As a Ravenclaw, you prefer to stay on top of things and be prepared for whatever is thrown your way. Your grades are important to you and the last thing you need is trouble right before your exams- ESPECIALLY care for magical creatures .... It is the only class you struggle with and just can't seem to bring your grade up to the same score as all your other classes no matter how hard to try. Hagrid pities you, he really does but you can only lose your projects so many times before he has to subtract it from your grade.

"It's not MY fault the projects can run away on their own" you mutter to yourself before pouring a cup of pumpkin juice standing up to examine the other foods available. Your eyes scan the contents presented on the table over the rim of your goblet as you sip from it. After the second wizarding war in Hogwarts, they partnered with other wizarding schools to help send students all over the world to the school of their choice for different opportunities. As a result of all the different cultures and traditions, the kitchen started loading the table with more diverse food choices at every meal. Clicking your tongue at the delicious looking Ethiopian breakfast dish, you decide to go for something you've had before so you don't upset your stomach before your school day.

By the time you're putting the last bit of scrambled eggs on your plate a few more students have shuffled in for breakfast. You quickly sit and begin to eat keeping your ears open for any news of the supposed newcomers. Again, you really aren't that interested in them you swear.....

However minutes pass of you listening to a young Gryffindor complain about the girl she likes not noticing her, suddenly a conversation that carried over from the Hufflepuff table caught your attention.

"Seven?!" A voice exclaimed.

"keep your voice down!"

You turned your attention to two girls, one Hufflepuff and one Gryffindor. You recognized the first voice to be Kim Yong Sun, and the second as Moonbyul Yi; the both of them seventh year transfers from South Korea during their second year.

"Sorry. But how do you know? There hasn't been any confirmation of them arriving let alone how many there are. " Yongsun eyed Moonbyul skeptically and you can hear the click of her chopsticks being set down from where you're sitting you're listening so closely. You slightly nod in agreement to the conversation you aren't a part of. She's right. There hasn't been any confirmation or factual evidence of transfer students. Yet here you are, sitting in the breakfast hall at 6:05 am on a Friday morning listening to fourth year romance drama and the yawns of a few other students like you're life depends on it. Maybe this is stupid, you should just go back up to bed and let it go. You aren't one for caring about new students or rumors anyways. Maybe you were just looking for something to distract you from the upcoming exams: Yeah, that was probably it. You sigh picking up one last piece of toast making up your mind to take it upstairs with you. Putting the piece of toast in your mouth you place your hands on the table to stabilize you as you swing one leg off of the bench to get up.

"I know one of them." Moonbyul responds quietly. You bite your toast out of surprise causing the rest of it to fall from your mouth as you plop down to straddle the bench with a loud thud while playing hot potato with your toast attempting to save it before it hit the floor. You glace around to see if anyone noticed, but thankfully those there are much too tired to care. You swing your leg back into your seat and continuee to listen to their conversation. Everyone needs a little distraction every now and then right? A hobby? Can snooping be considered a hobby....? I guess you're really doing this again.

"You know them? Really? So they're from South Korea too?" Yongsun asked while beginning to eat again.

"Yep. But I only know one of them pretty well, his name is Kim Seokjin and he's in my year. The rest of them I've only met a few times through him. "

Yongsun pondered what was said before speaking .

"Wait- seven of them..... Are they those loud boys from the music club you were in back home? Some of them are a little young don't you think?"

Moonbyul laughed. "Yep that's them! And no- the youngest of them should be a fourth year right about now."

You figured you had heard enough information to go on and decided to actually go back to your dorm this time. You left your spot at the table and began to make your way back to your room for a quick nap before school began. Your walk back was filled with thoughts of the new kids. "Loud boys? Great." You said bitterly turning down a hall. " What does it have to do with me? From what I heard they are different ages, which will separate them a bit. Maybe none of them will even be in my house, and I won't see them. After all, there's only seven of them and a whole school of other students. I probably won't even notice them. "

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -~ •~•~•~• ~- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A fork clinked gently against a goblet, and McGonagall rose to her feet. "May I have your attention please."

The loud dinner chatter quieted down almost immediately and all heads turned to the teacher's table.

"Thank you." She placed her goblet down before returning her gaze to the students. "As many of you have heard, there are rumors going around that Hogwarts will be accepting some new students. It is my pleasure to finally put these rumors to rest- "

A chorus of disappointed sighs and groans rang through the hall, looks like they weren't getting new students after all. You almost let out a disappointed sigh but caught yourself. You didn't want new students, they were a distraction and a nuisance. Right? I mean... It was a little bit of a disappointment considering all the hard work and snooping you had been doing recently. Your friend group doesn't spread rumors much, so everything you knew had been from eaves dropping and hiding, like the gargoyle incident. You guess you sat up there for 45 minutes all for nothing.

"-excuse me please quiet down." The students all shut their mouths quickly, afraid of angering her. "As I was saying, I am happy to finally introduce to you our new students from South Korea." The hall erupted into excited chatter, girls and boys alike fawning over whether or not the newcomers were attractive, nice, mean or any other possibility, like you have been for weeks ever since you overheard the students chatting about it outside the potions cupboard you were in when the rumors first started.

Clearing her throat the headmaster gave a sharp warning look to all the students, again silencing them. "As you know, usually transfer students come on the first day of school with the first years to get sorted. However, there was a couple issues regarding the ministry during their application process, so they arrived later than usual. I have no doubts that you will all make them feel very welcome here." She waved her hand as a signal to Filtch, who scampered out of the Great Hall, returning only a few moments later with a trail of students behind him.

Seven. There was seven of them just like you'd heard about this morning. You feel your chest swell with pride. You did good for a half assed Snoop mission. They were all male, and most looked to be around your age, and you'd be lying if you said they weren't in the least bit attractive. You scowled internally knowing that their looks would be all you'd hear about during your study sessions in the common room.

The sorting hat was brought in and the sorting began. McGonagall unrolled a small piece of parchment and read off the first name "Jung Hoseok", and you held your breath as the first boy made his way up.

He looked rather pleasant. His bright face was framed with medium length brown hair, and his smile was wide. He was practically glowing as he sat on the stool. There was a few moments of silence before the hat shouted out a loud "Hufflepuff!" And the hall clapped while McGonagall lead him to the proper table.

Slowly one by one each of the other boys went up. There was another Hufflepuff, his name was Park Jimin, and a Gryffindor whose name was Jungkook. 'So far so good' you think to yourself.

The next boy to go was called Kim Namjoon. He was tall and had a pair of square modern glasses perched on his nose, the legs of the glasses covered by his messy silvery gray hair. He's a bit taller than most of the others so the stool looked comically small beneath his long legs which he had stretched out for his feet to rest on the heels of his shoes. He radiated nerves with his hands rubbing up and down his black pants and his cheek pulled in slightly as he chewed on it. You were too lost in thought to realize it had been almost an entire minute of silence when the hat announced a very loud "RAVENCLAW!"

You felt your face scrunch up a bit but clapped anyway. I mean, it's only one of them and he looks rather pleasant; not too loud or obnoxious. He looks put together-maybe a little clumsily- but still respectable. You watched him take a seat and shake hands with other students. Yeah, he seems pretty ok. Instead of paying attention you continued to study the boy. After all, there's only a small chance one of the last three would be a Ravenclaw. The next name which you recognized as the boy Moonbyul knew, Kim Seokjin but blocked it out after that.

Namjoon seemed to be getting along nicely with the other students at the table. His smile was friendly and welcoming and his demeanor calm and assured.

"GRYFFINDOR"

You clapped absent mindedly as you continued to watch Namjoon become much less nervous than he had been up on the stool. His eyes gleaming and his honey skin shining in the great Hall lights giving off a faint golden glow. He literally held the presence of a god. You were beginning to doubt what Yongsun had said about them being loud as you watched the next boy climb up to the stool, and you looked around at the other new students and noticed they all were pretty quiet and calm, aside from Jungkook whose cheeks had flushed pink as Seokjin had an arm thrown over his shoulders supposedly boasting about what you heard to be his "handsome face", and his "baby boy kookie" . You really did seem to have nothing to worry about, it was just your anxiety that made you so scared of newcomers.

"RAVENCLAW"

Again you applauded without thinking before you froze. You looked back up to the stool and watched a boy about as tall as Namjoon bounce excitedly over to Namjoon and plop down right next him with a loud "Namjoon-hyung!" Followed by a box shaped smile and a joyful giggle. His eyes were dark to match his fluffy long ish hair that looked unsually soft. He was much louder than his friend Namjoon, you could hear his introductions and laugh travel down to your seat of the table, enabling you to hear his name: Kim Taehyung. You glared lightly at him sizing him up when suddenly your glare was met with bright cheerful eyes. 'Dont blush you're not interested, dont' You felt your face contort into a look of shock and heat slowly rise to your face before Taehyung sent you a wide boxy smile that caused his eyes to crinkle into small crescents, a sight that made you flush even more - you couldn't deny he was attractive. 'no no no no no-' At the sight of your blush you heard him laugh out a loud "cute", turning your face to an even darker shade of red than you had even thought possible. Those near him followed his gaze and laughed a little bit at your red face and a few "awww Y/N"'s and "oooh get it girl" were sent your way. You quickly tore your eyes away from his and shoveled the food down your throat causing you to choke on it, your hands grasped for your drink which a panicked seatmate handed you. You chugged half of it down before sputtering out a few coughs.

"Are you okay Y/N?" The same seatmate asked with a concerned look.

You nodded noticing that most of your table had now focused their attention on you. Embarrassment now completely took over your body as you shot up from your seat so fast you hit your knee off of the table and knocked your drink over to spill all over your robes. You let out a sound of frustration but you didn't let it stop you from your mission: to get out of the great Hall and to hide under your covers until morning. You turned and walked out as fast as you could ignoring the calls and stares you felt from the table. You made it outside of the great Hall and began to sprint down the halls all the way to the common room door.

Gasping out the password you don't even wait for the door to open all the way before you push inside the common room and up the steps to your dorm room. You slam the door shut and fall on the floor, the only sound in the room being your loud labored breathing and your wild heartbeat. After a few moments your breathing calmed down and it finally hit you what you had just done.

"oh my God I'm such an idiot! Why couldn't I just let this one go? " You stood up and stomped your way to your dresser and ripped out some night clothes. "Was your life really this boring? You could've just ignored the new students. You could've just not given a damn but no. " You slammed the drawer shut and went into the bathroom to begin changing. Aggressively taking off your sticky pumpkin juice covered robes with a grunt "You just HAD to get involved in the rumors. You KNOW you can't let something go once you commit to it. You shouldn't have even committed to it. Hell, you should've stopped after you were caught snooping around the class attendance lists" You slid on your night clothes and picked up your robes to take a closer look at them with a sigh.

"now I have to wash my robes tomorrow because YOU have no self control and can't stop being nosy." You glared at yourself in the mirror, sticking your tongue out at the reflection.

Exiting the bathroom you ball up your robes and place them in your hamper. You have calmed down significantly, the steam and anger from the embarassing moment in the hall finally wearing off. With a inhuman groan you dragged your hands down the sides of your face. "He's just a boy. All he did was smile at me... And call me cute...." Your thoughts drifted off to his cute box smile, and twinkling brown eyes. You abruptly sat up with a determined look. "No. No no no no. You don't have time for crushes, you only have one more week till exams and you aren't letting your grades slip just because a cute boy happens to join your house. Just ignore him. It's easy as that. " You pull your covers down and flop into bed.

A couple hours had passed, and you pretended to sleep when all your dormmates came up to bed one by one. Eventually after some tossing and turning you sigh. Your mind is full of that stupid boy, and the way he called you cute. So much for not even noticing the new kids.

~DeepSheep

[gabbigabz]

Sometimes feelings are invalid

Or at least not useful. Like sometimes we need to friggin stop being mad before we can accomplish anything. This post will probably tick some people off if they see it but frankly that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I had left Tumblr for quite a few months and now coming back I truly realize how blatantly immature the idea of 'validating' every emotion is. Emotional reactions to things are perfectly natural but frankly sometimes we need to shut up. Like don't freaking engage until your done being mad because y'ain't doing anything productive your not spreading awareness you just want to satisfy your ego right now and if you can make somebody who is wrong look stupid all the better. I'm not exempt from this I don't pretend to be exempt from this but I know that I'm self aware enough to acknowledge it. Sometimes we need to finish being mad before we can talk or address a problem or whatever. Because how many instances of spewing vitriol into a cesspool has actually helped? How many times has a clap back actually helped a person become a better person? Do you want Change or do you want Validation? Something none of us want to accept is that it doesn't matter if you're right if you're being a dick about it no one will listen. Change is slow. Change. Is. Slow. There is a very real chance that the change you are fighting for YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE. You can either get over that and fight for change anyway or you can constantly pitch a fit about it like a child. We have alienated ourselves from the ideas of civil discourse and our only excuse are things like: "they're wrong" or "they're not civil or respectful so why should I be?" Or any number of things that break down to "It's not Fair"

Life isn't fair. Get over it. This doesn't mean don't be mad. It doesn't mean your not allowed to be mad. It means that even if you have a valid reason for being upset not all actions taken in retaliation to that reason are valid.

I feel I should mention again that I'm really just talking to myself. I don't expect anyone to see this or care, but it's a reminder to me that sometimes I need to just recognize that this place is REALLY disconnected from how life works and it's not healthy of me to engage with that. If you have read this and you truly feel that you HAVE to respond (why?) I ask with out any kind of condescension:

Go finish being mad and then come talk to me.

I don't want to argue and frankly I'm hoping this post gets ignored because honestly I'm just tired of being mad, aren't you?