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juniperhillpatient · 9 days ago

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I wrote this fic for @hello-nichya-here because of our Wizards of Waverly Place re-watch. It's set directly after the episode "Alex in the Middle." Kelbo catches on that there's more to Alex's plans then a simple prank & does his best to help his niece & nephew along (in his own chaotic way). Enjoy!

“So, how’d the prank go with your brother?”

“Huh?” Alex asked, distracted. “What prank?”

In Alex’s defense, it was hard to focus on the conversation when there was horde of zombies chasing them. Uncle Kelbo had taken her to Fear Land, which was a wizard world haunted attraction with real ghosts, goblins, ghouls and zombies. They had just escaped the room with the shrieking banshee, who was very annoying and whiney and also loud. Now they were running across a field while an army of the undead moaned and followed them with outstretched arms, hungry for their flesh.

Alex slowed down and tilted her head as she realized something. “Hey, they’re all just walking. We don’t have to run.”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun if we run,” Kelbo said, doubling over and panting.

Alex groaned, clutching a stitch in her side. “You and I have very different ideas of fun, apparently.”

They hurried past the exit gate where an attendance with short dark hair and a rather vacant expression was waiting. She spoke in a tired, bored monotone voice. “Thank you for coming to Fear Land. Please remember that you signed a waver and Fear Land cannot be held legally responsible for any bodily or mental harm that you might have befallen while in the attraction.”

“I don’t remember signing a waiver,” Alex said, as she followed Kelbo over to a food stand. There were a lot of stands selling fried food and soda and a few rides including a Ferris wheel that levitated in the air with no support beams. Wizards as well as some vampires, werewolves, centaurs, elves and other wizard world folks were wandering around, chatting.

“Yeah,” Kelbo said. “That’s ‘cause I signed for you. Technically, you have to be eighteen to get into Fear Land, and they make you sign the contract in your blood on a charmed piece of paper that can tell your age by your blood. So, I may have helped you fib a little. Don’t tell your parents.”

Alex grinned. “You are so cool.”

A few minutes later, they were sitting at a picnic table, chowing down on fried unicorn horns. Alex was enjoying the evening. She could acknowledge that Uncle Kelbo was not the greatest magic teacher. She needed her dad to help slow her down and make her think, as much as she hated to admit it. Also, obviously, knowing that Dad won the wizard competition changed everything. He was the superior wizard after all, and thus exactly who she needed as a teacher. She still loved spending time with Uncle Kelbo in the wizard world. He treated her like an adult, not a kid, and let her be herself.

“So, what’s next?” Kelbo asked.

“Hm?” Alex said, swallowing a bite of her fried unicorn horn. “I didn’t know we were doing anything else tonight. Ooh, while we’re faking my age, will you take me to that cool wizard dance club, Zero Gravity? I heard everything floats in there!”

“No,” Kelbo said. Then he considered. “Well, maybe. Dancing with no gravity does sound pretty awesome.” Then his expression hardened. “No! Stop trying to distract me with awesome sounding clubs. Listen, I meant what’s next with the prank on your brother. You sent him all those love notes. Now what? Are you going to stink bomb his locker and put a note saying it’s from the secret admirer? Convince him it’s from some really hot girl he likes and then humiliate him by doing a spell to make him talk in a really deep voice like a cave man? Ooh! Or you could give him a really high voice like a little girl!”

Alex laughed. “Oh, that? Well, Justin kinda found out the notes were from me. You should’ve seen his face when he confronted me about it. He got so red, and his nose did that cute thing where it scrunches up and his eyes got all big.” She giggled, remembering, and spoke in an imitation of Justin. “Alex, I know it was you putting those notes in my locker! It wasn’t funny. I hid in a trash can!”

“Riiight,” Kelbo said. For some reason, he looked skeptical. “So, you just, put flirty notes in your brother’s locker everyday for a week and then it never really led to anything, and he just got kinda mad and now it’s forgotten?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Alex said with a smile and a shrug. “So, anyway, about Zero Gravity, I hear-”

“I mean, I always noticed you guys were close,” Kelbo interrupted.

Alex snorted. “Ew? Close? Me and Justin. Please. He’s close with his science teacher.”

“Alex,” Kelbo said with an exasperated sigh. “Who do you talk to basically every night before you go to bed?”

“Well, obviously Justin, but-”

“Who can make you laugh even if you’re having a terrible day.”

“Sometimes Max, but usually not intentionally,” Alex said. Kelbo gave her a pointed look, and she rolled her eyes. “Fine, Justin can usually cheer me up if I’m upset, but-”

“And who do you go to anytime you’re in real trouble, the kind you don’t know how to get out of?”

“I mean, Justin, but-”

“Not even your parents!” Kelbo said. “Kid, you’re in denial.”

“In denial of what?” Alex asked. “Fine, I’ll admit it, Justin is a pretty great big brother. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Look, kid, I got you another present,” Kelbo said. He waved his wand, and a wrapped box appeared on the picnic table.

“Ooh, for me?” Alex asked. She clapped her hands. “Yay!” She hurried to open the box, and then frowned. Inside was a plastic mood ring. It was just like many she had purchased for cheap at the mall before. They tended to turn her fingers green. Alex tried to hide her disappointment. Unfortunately, she had never been very good at masking her feelings. “Oh, wow,” she said. “A mood ring…. Neat.”

Kelbo chuckled. “This is a special mood ring, okay? Give it to Justin. It’s a great uh,” he cleared his throat dramatically. The reason behind the fanfare was a mystery to Alex. “Prank.” He cleared his throat again. Then he winked.

Alex narrowed her eyes. “Why’d you say it like that? And why’d you wink?”

“I’m not winking,” Kelbo said, winking again.

“Okay then…” Alex said, giving him a discerning look. He was grinning, and not giving much away with his expression. After a moment, she got bored of trying to figure him out and gave up. “Well, whatever. I always like pranking Justin, so I’m in.”

“It definitely does not involve the Banana Song by Harry Belafonte,” Kelbo said.

Alex laughed. “Okayyy. Sure, Uncle Kelbo. Whatever you say.”

* * “I’m glad you had fun with Uncle Kelbo,” Justin said. He glared. “Be nice if he took me to some of these places.”

“Yeah, or me!” Max said.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Max, the last time Uncle Kelbo took you to a wizard world amusement park you had nightmares for a week. And not even because of anything scary.”

“I didn’t like the looks of that fairy princess, okay?” Max said. “Too pink.” He shuddered. “And her breath smelled like perfume. It was creepy.”

“And Justin, are you seriously telling me you would be willing to lie about your age on a blood contract?” Alex continued. “Uncle Kelbo took me because he knew I could handle it.”

“You lied about your age on a blood contract?” Justin asked, his eyes bugging.

“See?” Alex said. “This is why you don’t get invited to these things.”

“Kids, it’s getting time to get ready for bed,” Theresa said, walking out from behind the counter in the kitchen where she had been cleaning some dishes. “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t overhear anything about any blood contracts because honestly, I’m tired and I don’t have the patience for any weird wizard drama right now.”

Alex made a face. She had kind of forgotten Mom was back there, honestly. “Probably for the best.”

“Alright, the restaurant is all shut down,” Jerry said, entering the apartment. “What are you kids still doing up? Alex, I take it everything went well with your uncle?”

“Yep,” Alex said brightly. She could sense Justin itching to blurt out about the blood contract, and hurried to say something that would distract him. “Uncle Kelbo was talking about taking Justin with us to Fear Land next.”

“You went to Fear Land?” Jerry asked. “I remember he and I going there when we were teenagers. Back then it was eighteen and up. Guess it’s changed. We had to find some older wizards to help us fake sign these waivers in blood because we weren’t old enough.” He chuckled. “Man, those were some fun times. We used to get into so many crazy situations. There was this one time with a succubus that-” he stopped, seeing Theresa’s face, and cleared his throat. “That was very bad.” Then he frowned. “Wait a minute. Alex, please tell me that my brother did not sneak you into a haunted attraction illegally by faking a blood contract?”

“Okay,” Alex said. “Uncle Kelbo definitely did not do any of that stuff you just said.”

Jerry sighed and rubbed his forehead. “We are going to have a serious conversation about what you get up to with your uncle. For now, get ready for bed.”

A while later, Alex couldn’t sleep. She was lying in bed in her pajamas, tossing and turning. She wasn’t too freaked out by the Fear Land attractions. Sure, the guy carrying his own severed head was a little icky. But it was the conversation with Kelbo that was bugging her. She hadn’t found an opportunity to give Justin the ring yet, and she wasn’t totally sure she even wanted to. Kelbo was just acting so weird about the whole thing, like there was a joke Alex wasn’t in on. She liked to be the one scheming and pulling pranks, not having pranks pulled on her.

After a while, Alex snuck downstairs to get a glass of water. Also, to see if Justin was still up. She had heard him in he hallway walking around not too long ago, and she never heard him come back upstairs. She had the mood ring from Kelbo in her pocket just in case she decided to give it to him after all.

Alex hesitated on the stairs. Justin was sitting on the sofa under a throw blanket, watching a DVR recording of the channel five news. Alex recognized the news anchor’s perky expression and thick brunette hair, and her stupid fake breasts right away. It was the one Justin was obsessed with. He had cutouts of her in his room. Alex had once stolen one to use for her fake ID when she tried to sneak into Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster Two.

Justin made a soft sound that made something deep in Alex’s core shift. His hand was moving under the blanket. Oh, gross. Alex figured out a beat too late what was happening. She was frozen though, staring. She knew she should hurry back upstairs, but then she would get caught. She was just standing there, halfway down the stairs, unable to tear her eyes away from the back of Justin’s head. The annoying news anchor was going on about the weather. Justin serious got off to THAT? Alex was affronted with the ridiculousness of that. She could be way hotter than some girl talking about the weather without even trying. Not that she wanted Justin to get off to her instead. It was just the principal of the thing.

Alex stayed there watching for a long time. She kept wanting to bolt upstairs, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She told herself it was because the stairs would creak, and Justin would hear her. After a while, Justin sighed and slumped further into the pillows. Alex decided that now it would be safe to get her glass of water. She just had to pretend she was only just now coming down the stairs. She took several loud steps.

Justin sat bolt upright and spun around. “ALEX! What are you doing?”

“Getting a glass of water,” Alex said, walking to the kitchen. “What are you doing?” She looked at the TV, pretending to just now notice it as she got a glass of water. “Jerking off to the news anchor?” “What?” Justin said. His face was bright red. “No.”

Alex laughed. She couldn’t help herself. The way Justin was holding the throw blanket up to his chin like some kind of scandalized maiden was just too good. “Calm down, I’m just teasing,” she said. “I couldn’t sleep. Maybe that Fear Land place got to me more than I’d like to admit.”

“Well, I was getting ready to go up, but I could watch an episode of some dumb sit com with you, if you want,” Justin said.

“Sure,” Alex said, plopping down on the sofa beside him. She yawned and leaned back. “Give me some of that blanket.”

“Get your own.”

“No, the closet where Mom keeps the throw blankets is all the way upstairs,” Alex whined. “C’mon, share.”

“You’re so annoying,” Justin said, but he allowed her to pull some of the blanket over herself as she got comfy.

A few minutes later, Justin’s arm was on the back of the sofa, behind Alex’s head. They both had their feet up, sharing the coffee table as a footrest, and the throw blanket was pulled over them both. Some show about a comically dysfunctional family played over a laugh track was on TV. Alex found herself drifting off. Something about being in Justin’s presence and the sound of the TV helped her relax.

Alex had just faded away into comfy oblivion when Justin shifted and woke her up. She had drifted to sleep with her head resting against his shoulder. She yawned, to sleepy to sit up. “Mm, guess I should go up to bed.”

When Justin spoke, his voice was soft, and tired, but also there was something different about it than earlier. Something almost hesitant, or maybe hopeful. “This is ok.”

Alex sat up, laughing. “You want to explain to Mom and Dad why we fell asleep cuddling on the sofa?”

Justin frowned. “What? It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong. We both just couldn’t sleep. I don’t think they’d be too mad.”

Obviously, he was right. But something about the idea of waking up here made Alex nervous. She imagined she would see that look in her eyes that Mom sometimes got, like she was a little worried for some reason, or the rare quietness from Dad that sometimes happened, like when Alex jokingly tried to sit in Justin’s lap last family movie night and Dad said he wanted to sit by Alex and shut down any further jokes like that for the evening.

“Hey, I have a present for you,” Alex said. She dug in her pocket and got out the ring. “It’s from Uncle Kelbo. He wanted me to give it to you. I almost forgot.”

By now, the sit com was over and channel five was back on. Justin must’ve changed it while Alex was asleep. The news anchor he liked so much was talking about possible rain. Justin yawned and stretched. Alex definitely did not find the way his face scrunched up after a sleepy yawn adorable. That was just something dumb she wrote in one of those stupid prank letters to make fun of him.

“A present from Kelbo?” Justin asked. “Nice, those are always great.”

“Here, hold out your hand,” Alex said. Justin did so, and she slid the ring over his pointer finger.

Immediately, Justin’s mouth opened, and a sound emitted from it that was not at all like his voice. It was a very familiar sound though. Alex stared in utter amusement. Where was that music coming from? This was TOO good.

‘Day-o, day-o Daylight come, and we want go home Day, is a day, is a day, is a day, is a day, is a day-o Daylight come, and we want go home Work all night on a drink of rum Daylight come, and we want go home…’

Justin got up and began to do a dance to go along with the music. This was exactly like that famous scene in the movie Beetlejuice, except that Justin was alone in his dancing. Alex was left sitting on the sofa, losing it laughing. This was the best prank Kelbo had ever come up with and that was including the time he helped Alex and Max make Justin’s action figures all come to life and make fun of him. “Alex, I don’t know what’s happening!” Justin yelled. He was still dancing. Then, he was back to singing, except not in his own voice, but with the vocals and backup music of Harry Belafonte.

‘Stack banana 'til the morning come (Daylight come and we want go home) Come Mister tally man, tally me banana (Daylight come and we want go home) Come Mister tally man, tally me banana (Daylight come and we want go home) Lift six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot bunch (Daylight come and we want go home) Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot bunch Daylight come, and we want go home!’

There was never any chance of the family sleeping through all this racket. Within minutes, Jerry and Theresa were on the stairs, both rubbing their eyes and looking exhausted. Max was right behind them. He appeared to be enamored.

“Aw, sick,” Max said. “Justin, you never told me you could sing and dance like that. You gotta teach me for the talent show!”

Alex was wheezing with laughter. Justin was staring at her with desperate horror in his eyes, and she decided to at last take pity on him. “Oh my god. “Okay, okay,” she said, still chuckling. “Take the ring off.”

Justin ripped the ring off his finger, and immediately had free reign of his body. He did a whole-body shudder. Alex was doubled over, tears streaming down her face from laughing. She couldn’t breathe. This was just too good. Justin looked furious and embarrassed and that meant she had enjoyed a successful evening.

“Young lady, we are going to have a serious talk about pranking your brother in the morning,” Jerry said, glaring. “It’s the middle of the night. You have school tomorrow! You know what? You are grounded. No going to the mall with Harper tomorrow.”

“But Daddy, I didn’t know what the ring would do,” Alex whined. “Uncle Kelbo gave it to me and told me to give it to Justin.”

“Okay, fine,” Jerry snapped. “No hanging out with my brother until I have a serious talk with him.”

“But, Dad-” Alex started.

“NO BUTS,” Jerry said.

Theresa frowned. “Jerry, it was just an innocent kid’s prank. Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”

“He took her to an eighteen plus amusement park,” Jerry said. “Now he’s helping her prank her brother like she needs any help in that department? He’s encouraging her to misuse magic, and I’m done with it.”

Alex was furious. She slammed the door to her bedroom and sat on her bed fuming for several minutes. This was so unfair. Maybe her dad won the wizard competition but that didn’t mean he understood magic so much better than Kelbo. Jerry and Justin both were always going on and on about the rules and following them to a T. At least Kelbo knew how to have fun.

A thought occurred to Alex, not for the first time, and she did her best to push it away. If she won the competition, she’d be just like Kelbo. Always using magic for her own gain whenever she wanted. But Justin was a lot more like their dad, who actually won. What if she didn’t always get to keep her powers?

This thought was always there, in the back of Alex’s mind, tainting her every interaction with Justin with the tension and jealousy of that insecurity. It didn’t so much get to her with Max, because he was so behind in the competition. On the outside, Alex never let these concerns show. She would rather die than let Justin know she was worried he would win and leave her in the dust. But it did get to her sometimes.

Anyway, right now Alex’s concern was about being cut off from her uncle. She grabbed her wand and dialed. “Beep, boop, beep, boop, beep.”

A minute later, Kelbo picked up. “Hey, Alex. I just got off the phone with your dad. It looks like you and I aren’t going to be able to hang out for a while. But listen, your dad will come around. We just need to give him some space and – oh, who am I kidding? I’ll sneak you out whenever you want.”

Alex laughed in relief. “Good to know. I was worried I would be totally cut off from you.”

“Never, kid,” Uncle Kelbo said.

“Hey, I did the prank on Justin,” Alex said. “Why did you act all mysterious anyway? All it did was make him sing that Banana Boat and dance. It was hilarious.”

“Listen, you gotta get Justin to wear that ring to school tomorrow,” Kelbo said. “I’m trying to prove a point here, and I need you to figure out what triggers the ring if we’re ever going to get there.”

“Huh?” Alex said. “Why are you acting all mysterious again?”

“Just get him to wear the ring to school.”

“Well, he’s never gonna do that,” Alex said. “He probably just threw it away.”

“No, no, no, that thing was so expensive,” Kelbo groaned. “I was saving it for a really good opportunity. Look, who will Justin listen to no matter what?”

Alex felt a sneaky idea form in her mind, and she grinned. “You know what? You just gave me a great idea.”

“It’s what I do best,” Kelbo said. “Now, call me tomorrow with an update.”

* *

“I’m sorry you can’t go, Alex, but it’s your own fault,” Harper said. “If you would just stop pulling pranks on Justin, maybe you wouldn’t be grounded so often.”

“Ugh, you are not being a very supportive best friend right now, Harper,” Alex grumbled. She was standing behind the counter at the substation, and Harper was sitting on a stool facing her.

“Look, I’ll try to get you that cute sweater you liked so much,” Harper said. “How’s that?”

Alex perked up and smiled. “Like maybe you’re a much better friend than I thought.”

The bell dinged as the door to the substation opened. Justin entered, whistling as he walked. Alex hadn’t seen him much at school. They passed each other in the hall, but that was it. So, she had no idea if her plan had worked.

This morning, there was a very special news report from the channel five anchor about how mood rings were SUPER popular right now and all the cute guys were wearing them. It only broadcast to one household in New York, but Justin didn’t have to know that. Thanks to the ‘manipulate screens’ spell from last week’s wizard lesson, Alex was able to make it look like the news lady was saying whatever she wanted her to say. This was a good trick, and Alex was going to have to remember it for future use.

“Oh, there’s Justin,” Harper said. She looked down at her dress, which was covered in plastic assortments of fruits. “How do I look?”

“Um….” Alex said, unsure how to respond to that.

“Hey Alex, hey, Harper,” Justin said as he approached.

Harper immediately screamed and dove under a nearby table. Since this was a normal reaction for her, Justin just shrugged, and walked behind the counter, getting himself a soda. He was still whistling a jaunty tune.

“Hey, Justin,” Alex said. “How was school?”

“Good,” Justin said. “I passed my algebra exam with flying colors, and-” he stopped and gave Alex a suspicious look. “You don’t care how my day at school was, do you?”

Alex scoffed. “What? I so care. I always ask you how your day was.”

“Especially when you have some scheme cooking,” Justin said, narrowing his eyes. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Alex said. “Um, out of curiosity, did you wear that mood ring?”

“Yeah, I did,” Justin said. “The news lady on channel five said – hey!” He glared. “You tricked me!”

“Well, it obviously didn’t do any good,” Alex said with a disappointed sigh. “I guess nothing happened.”

“No, it didn’t,” Justin said. “And you are so annoying for trying to prank me again! You know, Alex, sometimes it’s like your life revolves around tormenting me.”

Alex grinned. “And isn’t that just such a compliment?”

Justin glared. “You are the worst. I swear- DAY-OU!”

The music was back. Alex burst into laughter. Luckily for her, no one else except Harper was in the substation. Harper got out from under the table, looking very confused. Alex supposed that she should be trying to figure out a way to explain this to Harper. Right now, though, she was unable to do anything but crack up. With any luck, Justin would get nervous and do the explaining for her. The bell dinged and the substation door opened. A man entered. His eyes went wide, and he stared at Justin, who was now dancing to the music.

‘Daylight come and we want go home Day, is a day, is a day, is a day, is a day, is a day-o Daylight come, and we want go home!’

The potential customer backed away outside and let the door shut again. Alex saw him take off running down the street. Harper was pointing at Justin with a shaky hand. Her jaw was hanging open and she looked terrified. Alex was aware that she was possibly in trouble. However, all she could do was laugh because the sight of Justin singing and dancing was just too good.

Justin ripped the ring off his finger. “ALEX I’m going to KILL-” Justin stopped mid-sentence. He looked at Harper and forced himself to be composed. Oh, good. He was going to weasel out of this so Alex didn’t have to. God, Alex loved him. “I am going to KILL at the talent show,” Justin said. He forced a huge grin. “Isn’t that such a cool talent that I’ve developed all by myself with no magic, Harper?”

“Uh,” Harper said. “Yep.” She was back to her usual awkward, blushing self around Justin, looking shy and giggly. “Wow. You really learned how to make music come out of your mouth for the talent competition? You’re so talented.”

“Yep,” Justin said. “That’s right. Okay, now, I have to practice some more. So, goodbye.”

“But, the substation just opened for dinner. It’s only four o’clock.”

“Wow! How the time flies!” Justin said, ushering Harper out the door. “Great talking to you. See ya tomorrow.”

Alex was back to giggling. Justin turned around and glared at her, and she tried to look serious. “Justin, I’m really sorry.” She couldn’t maintain her composure and started laughing again. “But that was too good. Maybe you really should audition for the talent competition!”

A while later, Alex was lying on the sofa flipping through a teen magazine. She had just done a quiz on whether she was compatible with her crush for fun. She didn’t have a crush right now, because Riley was going out with Gigi, and she was grossed out by that. So, she answered all the questions inserting Justin as the hypothetical other person in each scenario. The answer she got was that she and her crush were sure to have a rocky and possibly doomed but very fun and exciting romance and that it was definitely worth giving it a shot even if there would be heartache and speedbumps along the way. Huh. Interesting. Alex supposed that did describe her and Justin’s dynamic pretty well. Minus the romance, obviously.

Alex jumped in alarm when she was joined by someone else in the room without warning. Uncle Kelbo had just flashed into the room with magic. He was coughing and waving smoke away as he got reacclimated from teleporting through space and town.

Alex sat up and tossed her magazine to the side. “Uncle Kelbo, what are you doing here?”

“I just got done talking to your dad,” Kelbo said. “Your mom calmed him down and we’re allowed to hang out again as long as I stop helping you prank your brother.”

“Great,” Alex said, beaming. She had known her dad would come around eventually, but it was relief that it happened so fast. Then she hesitated. “Wait, you’re not really going to stop helping me prank Justin, right?”

“Of course not,” Kelbo said, waving a dismissive hand. “Now, listen. I want to know everything about what happened today.”

Alex grinned. “Justin serenaded me and Harper with the Banana Boat song after school. It was great.”

“Yeah,” Kelbo said. “Now I think it’s time you knew what the ring really does. It casts a spell on the wearer so that whoever has it on sings the Banana Boat song whenever they experience strong romantic feelings.”

Alex stared at Kelbo. “Wait….”

“Yeah, take that in,” Kelbo said. “It’s a lot, I know. But now that I know it’s reciprocated, I can help you-”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Alex interrupted.

“Oh, okay, good,” Kelbo said, blinking in surprise. “I thought this was going to take way more convincing.”

“Wait, only the first time makes sense,” Alex said. “Justin was watching that channel five news anchor lady he like so much on TV.”

“Not her,” Kelbo groaned, smacking his forehead. “Alex, he was obviously experiencing feelings for-”

“HARPER?” Alex interrupted, aghast. She wasn’t sure why the idea upset her so much. After all, Harper had been into Justin forever. Shouldn’t Alex be happy for her as her best friend? “I can’t believe Justin has a crush on Harper,” she said. “Well, I guess now it’s up to me to get them together.”

* *

“Are you sure I can trust you about this?” Justin asked.

“For the last time, I’m telling you the truth,” Alex said. “I even let you do a truth spell on me to prove it.”

“That’s true,” Justin said. “But it’s just so strange. I never knew I had feelings for Harper.”

“Well, maybe you were burying them deep down,” Alex said.

“I guess,” Justin said, though he still looked uncertain. “And you really think the yogurt shop is a good place for us to go on a date? I’m leaving if she wears her yogurt themed outfit. Last time she followed me around in that thing for a day, I couldn’t get the smell of sour yogurt out of my nostrils for a week.”

Alex made a face. “Fair point. I’ll call her and make sure she doesn’t wear that.”

They were in the sub-car, after school. Alex was helping Justin get ready for the big date with Harper. No one else was in the sub-car. There were a few customers at tables in the substation. Luckily, Alex had put the serving wench charm on Max, so he was doing a great job. She would’ve felt a little bad, but he was making a killing in tips, so she figured he’d be alright.

“Alright,” Alex said, sitting at the table. “So, like we agreed, let’s practice.”

“I don’t know about this, Alex,” Justin said. “I mean, practicing for a date with Harper? She’s probably going to throw out some random fun facts about things she discovered while secretly watching me sleep or something.”

“Stop,” Alex said, getting serious. “Justin, I know she’s kind of weird, but she’s my best friend and if you hurt her I’ll have to hurt you. Look, I want you and Harper both to be happy. So please, just take this seriously.”

“Alright, alright,” Justin said. He sat down at the table and folded his hands in front of him. “Hi, Harper. Welcome to our date.”

Alex snorted. “Welcome to our date? What is this, a talk show? Just act natural. Why aren’t you wearing the ring?”

“Act natural?” Jutin repeated. “I don’t know how to act natural around Harper. I’m used to her screaming and running away when she sees me. Anyway, I’m pretty sure singing the Banana Boat song on our date isn’t considered natural.”

“Okay, true,” Alex said, laughing. “But it would be pretty funny.”

“Now I’m the one who needs to take this seriously?” Justin asked, snorting.

“Okay, okay,” Alex said. She cleared her throat and spoke in an imitation of Harper. “Hi, Justin.” She giggled and twirled her hair. “Thanks for coming.”

“You’re welcome,” Justin said. “I mean, uh, why don’t I come sit by you?”

A moment later, Justin was on the bench beside Alex in the sub-car. He put an arm around her, and sat very close, with his face near hers. “You look really pretty.”

Alex felt butterflies in her belly dance, and her cheeks were suddenly very warm. “Okay,” she said with a soft laugh. “Since when are you Mr. Charisma?”

“I can be romantic when I want to be,” Justin said. “You just never see that side of me.”

“I wonder why not,” Alex said, shooting him a mischievous smirk.

“I think it’s obvious why not,” Justin said, laughing.

Suddenly, they were joined by Kelbo and a lot of smoke. He waved his hand in front of his face, coughing up a storm. Alex and Justin both did the same.

“Uncle Kelbo, what are you doing here?” Justin asked.

“Okay, fine,” Kelbo said. “I did a spell so I could spy on you two after I found out Alex was trying to set you up with Harper.”

“What?” Alex said. “Why?”

“Because!” Kelbo said. “You’re both clearly never going to figure this out without my help. Look, Justin, just put on the ring right now.”

Justin frowned and dug in his jeans pocket. He put on the ring. Alex felt her jaw drop. No way. The gears in her brain whirred as she tried to process what exactly was happening and what it meant. It’s not like she hadn’t had inklings before. But she could never articulate it. Even now, she was afraid to put it into words in her own brain, what it meant that the ring was activated right now.

Justin ripped the ring off his finger and threw it on the ground. His expression was intense, and horrified. Alex found herself tense. Every muscle in her body was like a live wire. She was afraid to breathe. Justin was still seated on the bench, very close to her.

“I can’t believe it,” Justin said.

“I know,” Alex said, surprised at how steady her voice came out. She had always been good at acting like she was okay even when she wasn’t. She met Justin’s eyes, her heart pounding. “I can’t either.”

“I have feelings for Uncle Kelbo?” Justin said.

Alex and Uncle Kelbo both groaned. Alex smacked Justin on the shoulder. “You do not have feelings for Uncle Kelbo, you big dummy!”

Justin laughed, looking a bit breathless and very relieved. “Okay, your reaction right now proves that you’re not exactly upset about – um – what this means.”

“And, with that, I’m gonna leave you two with these,” Kelbo said. He set two tickets on the table. “These will get you into Zero Gravity, the wizard world club. I heard there’s a romantic ballad tonight and a floating dance for all the couples out there. Anyway, I’m gonna go. And if either of you ever tell your parents I was involved with helping you figure this out, I’ll turn you both into worms.”

With that, Kelbo was gone in a puff of smoke. Alex was alone with Justin in the sub-car. She was surprised to hear Justin mutter a spell as he coughed away the smoke. He was usually so careful with magic and refused to do anything without Dad’s permission. Suddenly though, every window in the sub-car was blocked by black curtains.

“You just did a spell,” Alex said, staring at Justin with wide eyes. “A spell outside the lair. Without supervision.”

“I was actually, uh, thinking maybe we could use a minute without supervision,” Justin said. He looked very nervous. “Are you – are we okay? Seriously.”

“You know, Justin, I’ve never been very good with talking about these things,” Alex said. “So, let me answer that with action.”

Then she was kissing him. Alex had thought about this, in her deepest, darkest, most private fantasies. She had pictured what it would be like, but never admitted to herself what she was doing. She always waved it off as a random, errant dirty thought that meant nothing. Now Justin’s lips were pressed against hers, and his hands were tangled in her hair, and it was better than she could’ve ever imagined. This was worth every conflict and moment of heartache and possible disaster that was surely awaiting them if they pursued it. There was no doubt in Alex’s mind about that.

When they parted for air, Justin’s hand was on her cheek. He looked breathless and anxious and excited. “Okay, good answer.”

“We’re gonna have to thank Uncle Kelbo later for helping me prank you,” Alex said, grinning. “This turned out to be a really good prank.”

#jalex #wowp #jalex wowp #wowp rewatch #alex russo #justin russo #alex x justin #my god i'm really writing jalex fanfic in the year 2024 xD #love that for me. just to be clear #also i wrote that whole emo poem about channeling my trauma into my writing earlier & I want to be clear #THAT IS NOT ABOUT THIS LMAO #more like. vague horrific feelings in my horror writing. okay? Just to be clear lmaooo #this is intended to read like an actual episode of the show #if the writers were brave #i'm pretty happy with the characterization for the most part #but it's totally unedited so #u know we die like stevie or whatever #no beta

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