#I'm honestly scared to post this but fuck it

[mushyposts]

TUMBLR PLEAAASE LET ME POST THIS NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

OF COURSE!!! This is the sort of analysis I could honestly talk about for hours, and if you have ANY more thoughts on my fic, please please PLEASE dont be scared to message me and hash it out!! I absolutely love the chance to think critically and analytically about my work.

You are absolutely not projecting, and even if you were, that would be entirely valid!! Creativity exists as a vessel for us as humans to feel, and if my writing at all helps you process any feelings you have around the themes I explore in it then I think i have more then succeeded in my task as a writer! : D

I also think that as a writer, I can put as much intent as I physically can into my writing. I can spend hours working to make sure a certain theme is perceived the specific way I want it to be, but if someone takes it a different way then I cant change that! I can take it as it is, and from there move and try to approach the theme in a different way, but people all have different live experiences that will make them see what i write differently. My experiences with parental figures, their presence, lack of, and their affection towards me will always be different to yours for example, and that means you will see how I write the parental dynamics in my writing different to how I do! Does that make sense?

Okay onto the actual analysis LMAO!! I think that people get caught up in this idea of "The choice was made for the greater good, so he should be absolved." and although yes, there is merit to understanding Hakoda didn't want to leave and was doing what he thought was the best choice for his kids and the future of his tribe its also SUPER important to understand that there were other ways.

A few things when considering the argument of Hakoda taking ALL the men, is firstly that we don't actually know how many people were in the "fleet" and there is some defence to the idea of them needing every working hand they can get, however I also think that alongside this argument is if Hakoda was doing this to protect his tribe it would have made sense to at LEAST leave enough men to defend them, or train Sokka and the other younger boys to have some form of defence.

I think the closest we get at seeing how many are in the fleet is pre-black sun, when they all meet up, and even then those numbers are skewed because of the involvement of other groups of people. EG: The swamp benders, the earthbenders and then the people who took residence at the northern airtemple. I do, however, personally believe that there should have been some men left behind to defend.

Another thing to consider is the canon timeline for when Kya dies and then when Hakoda leaves and then to canon actually is kind of inconsistent? We can assume Hakoda left around when Sokka was 13, but during the flashback of Kya's death along with the flashbacks in Bato of the water tribe where we see Hakoda leave, Sokka actually looks a lot younger. As far as I'm aware, as a show only watcher who doesnt actively intend on reading the comics, we dont really know how long the time between Kyas death and Hakoda leaving is. I even say at the start of my fic that I fucked with the canon timeline a bit to make it line up a bit better.

I think the show acknowledges Hakoda's abandonment and the complex ways thats hurt both Sokka and Katara in subtle ways. Katara very outwardly displaying her upset, albeit initially passive aggressively, she does eventually burst out, telling him "we needed you." and Hakoda apologises. Sokka is more internal, he obsesses over his ability to explain his plans, how he's perceived by his peers, an obsession with masculinity and what it means to be a man when you were never truly taught it in the first place.

I also think something that people tend to get mixed up with when it comes to critiquing Hakoda as a father, is they often equate being a bad dad, to being an abuser.

Hakoda, at least in my interpretations and I never intend for him to come off as so, isnt an abusive father. He is not a perfect father, he has made many choices that led to the long lasting hurt of his children. Speaking in the development of my own fic and how i've worked with Hakoda's character, he is an absent figure who was faced with an impossible choice and should have thought through it in more depth. He made a choice, and although its hard to fully say without a doubt he chose wrong, it had severely negative ramifications on the mental well being of his children.

Theres a lot to be said on the nuance of abuse, neglect, absent parental figures, especially fathers, and I don't want to speak TOO heavily on this because again, its such a nuanced and complex topic that I think I couldn't even begin to unwrap in tumblr reblogs. Theres some incredible fics out there exploring this with Hakoda and Sokka's dynamic, and I even have a one shot in the making all about this stuff in the canon universe seperate from my writing, but I just REALLY want to emphasise that I am so aware of how Zuko will come off to Sokka as a replacement.

I think in Zukka fics, or any fic with their dynamic, Sokka is often used as a tool for Zuko's healing, and his own trauma and negative experiences are put on the backburner in turn for Zuko's more outwardly present trauma. This is never something I want to do in my writing, I want to give a stage to each characters trauma, experiences and lives and try to show that things arent always as clean cut as they seem.

Hakoda abandoned Sokka and Katara. he left Sokka to be a man, without truly giving him the tools to do so.

Hakoda saved Zuko from death, and gave him a chance at life again.

These are two things that can exist at once, and the existence of one does not negate the other. People are a mess of good, bad, neutral, and its so hard to untangle it. Sometimes it doesnt even need to be untangled, sometimes you just need to hold the mess that people are and know it isnt a slight on you. You didnt cause the tangle, some tangles just are, yknow??

I also do personally believe in canon there are a lot of gaps that dont fully make sense in reference to Hakoda's character, and I think he honestly could have been executed a lot better in canon, so thats also something I like to consider whenever I am thinking too hard abt Hakodas character!!

I hope this made ANY sense at all. I usually have to sift through my writing like, a hundred times to get any kind of sense out of it, but truly this has been such a pleasure to write about!! : D Ur thoughts are so well written, and its incredible, as i said before, to see people picking up on the more nuanced things I'm trying to set up for future chapters!! it helps keep my steam for writing this honestly WAY bigger fic then I intended going!! : D I am MORE then happy to indulge!!!! If anything, this is indulging for ME! So thank YOU!!!

(Also, to answer ur tags, it isnt bad ur a bit mad at Hakoda!! He's flawed, thats okay! He's made mistakes just like anyone does. His just have more ramifications since he's the adult. I am a HUGE Hakoda stan and I do love him, but trying to work around canon and make him be a good father... A bit tricky!!)

I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.

Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.

He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.

Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.

Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.

Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.

Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3

HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.

All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.

[acewitch-writes]

As a self-appointed canon Remus defender, I agree that Remus can be angry. It would be insane to suggest that a human being is incapable of expressing the perfectly natural human emotion of anger.

But the issue arises from turning that anger into a defining character trait, or when his anger isn't balanced and nuanced. If belittling/insulting his friends or exploding with rage is Remus' first instinct in any difficult situation in a fic, then he is OOC. Which may be suitable depending on the AU! I have written him with an angry streak myself, I'm not opposed to the idea of letting Remus be angry. But we should at least be able to acknowledge that this is OOC for Remus, who rarely expressed outward anger even in some very stressful situations.

My main qualm with atyd in particular is the fact that it touts itself as "canon compliant", eeeeexcept for the tiny fact that the main character's entire backstory was dramatically changed, which in turn affected his entire characterization. The fic even made a point to skip over every established canon scene because it would have made it very clear that atyd Remus and Canon Remus have little in common (except one scene briefly in the Shack where Remus uses special werewolf powers to read Sirius' mind to work out the whole secret keeper switch, using the very same technique that Sirius' mother often used to abuse him, this being their FIRST INTERACTION after 12 years apart, but I digress)

Atyd Remus is an OC with the same name who, yes, has some anger issues, and is nuanced and incredibly well-written, but he is NOT Remus and at no point throughout the story becomes Remus. The part that really sealed the deal for me was when Dumbledore arrived to invite Remus to teach at Hogwarts, and Remus was openly hostile and rude to this man that, canonically, is Remus' personal hero and infallible moral compass. ("Well, he's not my fucking brother.")

I also strongly disliked the way Sirius was scapegoated heavily at the end, made to apologize to Remus and grovel for his affection after spending 12 years in Azkaban while Remus was living a rather cozy life in comparison with his muggle lover in the flat that Sirius paid for. I remember waiting for Remus to apologize too, AND HE FUCKING NEVER DID

Disclaimer: I enjoyed atyd as a standalone AU with canon elements. It was beautifully written and the author clearly put so much time, effort, and love into writing it. I honestly really liked Remus in it, I just can never see him as superior to my beloved Canon Remus and I hate this fandom for bullying those of us who chose not to canonize a popular fanfic.

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[running-in-the-dark]

it's really funny, I've been in my husband's family's WhatsApp group (🤢) for like 4 years at this point. and I never said anything there, ever. until his brother separated from his wife and she left the group lol. didn't even realise it was almost entirely because of her, but yeah, it totally was. she's mean as hell.

[jellybeanium124]

nobody has mentioned this so hopefully that means you would... not be mad? haha? maybe?? maybe I can mention having a very stigmatized kink and it'll be okay? hopefully?? everyone can be normal maybe? I'm still me I haven't changed hopefully this won't change things at all and I've been terrified of sharing this part of myself for no reason??

[ppulverse]

.

[revvetha]

honestly hate that I'm still fucking around on tumblr atm. and that I can still message people during a 30min window of the afternoon where I'm just in the sweetspot of caffeination. I'm doing so unbelievably bad atm and like... It's not like I share much outside of tumblr, but I genuinely don't think anyone would even believe me or understand how serious it is. Because I'm not being dramatic and mysteriously brooding and hiding away, and instead I still occasionally post about my blorbos or whatever. Like my suffering doesn't count unless it fills up every hour of every day and is the only thing I talk about. Like maybe if I isolated myself even more and were even more self destructive, someone would give a shit.

How fucking ridiculous that I wish I could be sexier and cooler and more dramatic about my own mental illness

[holytrickster]

imagine fearmongering about the end of the world oN FUCKING SHUFFLES???? like from what I've seen the userbase seems really young, but I don't really think of it bc I'm there to just make my silly little aesthetic collages for fun. but wHOOPS the algorithm or whatever decided I wanted to be shown posts from people that are probably like 13 making these long ass posts that are all GUYS THE RAPTURE IS COMING SOON like . jesus christ. pun intended.

[chloelouygo]

I've only just met him but i would fucking die for Pluto on Black Butler I am so in love with him

(I'm only on like episode 8(?) and I know literally not a single spoiler for black butler and I'm not risking looking up Pluto at all lest I risk any contamination, so you guys can deal with my pining over his white haired fang faced body count ass until I can be sure I won't spoil his character arc at all lmao)

[fitzselfships]

me and him are chronic pain solidarity and we take care of each other when we have flare ups <3

[moongothic]

Not me taking a full 30 seconds after scrolling down to realize Buggy was even there

WHY IS BUGGY EVEN THERE??? TUMBLR???

[femslashspuffy]

I thought the worst part of making new friends would be just not clicking with people and having to deal with that awkwardness but instead it was finding one of those fucking whiny antisocial bitches who just always seem to cling to me again and they're trying to bring me down. I'm gonna go joker I'm gonna go joker I am so mad about this person literally leave me alone I hate you I hate you get the fuck out of my life already

[mav-the-artist]

Hey anon, idk who you are, but i kindly ask you to please educate yourself on paranoia and anxiety before making a statement like that.

[teal-skull]

Months ago I officially divorced from the evangelical lutheran church and after like a month of waiting got my letter from the state confirming my divorce.

I was honestly surprised how free I felt. Maybe it had something to with the fact that I made a small ritual around it, so it wasn't exactly mundane thing to do. It was something I had talked of doing for a long time.

It feels like I've shaken off the last tiny bit of christianity still holding me from the ankle.

[keiistuff]

I love bubbline and I love the ineffables, whoever wins, I'm happy either way :p

THE SHIP WARS ROUND FOUR