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kiyzukiy · 9 days ago

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Cat distribution system

Sypnosis: Life is hard as it is, so all we all wish for is some comfort in a furry friend. No one accounted for life playing funny tricks so what would happen if you find Caleb in a trash dumpster?

Tags: reader x Caleb, fluff, Cat!Caleb, crack?, funny (hopefully)

A/N: I got inspired by another fic I found on here with a similar flow. If anybody knows what I'm talking about please tag that person. I don't want to disregard any original ideas! >.<

As always, if I missed any tags please tell me.

Word count: 4.8k

I hope you enjoy <3

Divider by me

You groan as you stretch yourself out. Sitting too long is always such a hassle. Tired bones and you felt like your muscles have calcified. If you wouldn't have moved now someone could have mistaken you for a stone statue the way you were perched at your work desk and scrolled endlessly through files.

Doesn't matter now though. The clock finally releasing you from your workload. Tomorrow was also a day and the files wouldn't suddenly grow legs and run away. No need to do overtime today.

You rubbed your face. Trying to shake off your exhaustion and slowly blinking the dryness in your eyes away. One more stretch that let out a satisfying crack in your back and you stood up. Packing your things together and making sure that this time you also took your thermal mug with you. Waving your coworkers goodbye you made your way home. Head already in the clouds with your game. Planning your time out of doing your dailies and just admiring your favourite fictional man. A pity that they don’t build men like that in real life.

The chill evening air hitting your face made you shiver the first step you took outside. Cuddling up in your coat and wrapping your scarf up just a tad higher you began your track home.

Fuck it's cold, you think to yourself. When would spring arrive and you didn't have to be out in this freezing weather anymore? Don't get me wrong, winter is something beautiful and when the snow hits the landscape it was akin to a fairy tale setting. The sunsets even more stunning with the low light and making everything glisten. Colours spreading over the horizon in deep violet and heartwarming orange. Frozen over roads just a bit slippery which made your way to work a small adventure when you played the game “do I land on my bum today or not?”. But enough was enough.

You wanted the sun back in your days having had your fill with this gloomy grey cloudscape. Waking up when it was still dark out and going home when night greets you again was draining more of your energy than you liked to admit. What made matters worse wasn't even that it didn’t affect only you, but that the melancholic and cold atmosphere was spreading slowly over to the people around you. It was in the way minor inconveniences would grate the nerves of your colleagues or the small tick of the jaw of your boss. The forced smile in service people who normally would make it seem genuine. Point was: everyone was fed up and ready for the seasons to change. When was the last time you saw the sun actually? Was it last October? Two weeks ago? You don't remember anymore. Just- just a long time ago. Pretty sure. Maybe you were a bit dramatic but all you wanted was to feel the warmth again and getting your vitamin D in.

A rustle next to you snapped you out of your self-pitying lament. Confused you turned your head to the right. Nothing. Just a dark alley. A car passed you by on your left, shortly illuminating a sliver of said alley. A dumpster could be made out but nothing exciting. You shrugged your shoulders and took one step, but another rustle stopped you once more. A sigh left you. Would you really go investigate? You swore this is how the stupid character out of a horror movie always died. This exact way but the curiosity in your mind and veins tried their very best to lure you into that alley to go look. One peak wouldn't hurt right? A man who wanted to drag you into it would have done it by now. There wouldn't be a more perfect chance than right now. The way you stood there like a fine lady in bewilderment.

This is what you get when you forget the one time your headphones at home. If it would be any other day, you would have continued on. Having passed this particular alley countless times and in daylight it wouldn’t be as scary as it was in this instance. Hopping from one foot to the other, you were uncertain. Would you really? You also could just…leave. Never finding out and always wondering. Spending sleepless nights wondering what could have been in this very alley that made these rustling noises. Or you would forget about it as soon as tomorrow morning came. Maybe it was just the wind that blew over a leaf or bag. On the other hand this could be a cool story you could tell your friends about. Or you could get mugged.

Alright fuck it. You go. Otherwise you would stand out here in the cold for the next ten minutes pondering about if this decision will have negative consequences on your life.

Tentatively you took one step into the alley. Instantly your common sense kicked in and pressed adrenaline into your veins. My god, this is the way you would die. Mentally have written your testament and who you would leave behind what you took another step.

“Hello?”, you asked hesitantly into the night. Frustrated with yourself you grunted. Naturally a serial killer would answer you out of the alley with “yes, behind this dark corner. I made sandwiches, you want one?”.

You had half a mind just turning back around again, but as if on cue another rustle. This time followed with a bang out of the dumpster. You let out a breath of relief. Oh by the gods, it was just a stray animal…or was it? Nevertheless the strong grip of fear that held your breathing back let a bit loose and you made your way to the dumpster with sure steps.

Your heart clenched in your chest at the thought that maybe an unlucky racoon got trapped in the dumpster and would meet an unsightly end in one of the waste disposal sites. Without a second thought you opened it and peered inside. Barely enough light from the street lights flooded one side of the dumpster and you saw- nothing. It was pitch black. Quickly you patted your pockets. First coat and then your pant pockets for your phone. One hand fished for it and rather clumsy you unlocked it to get to your flashlight. Now with your weapon of light you peered inside once more and this time you saw- trash. At first. A lot of it, nothing out of the ordinary for a dumpster in a lived in neighborhood. Out of the corner of your eye you saw movement and following it was your hand with your phone.

“Naaww you poor guy. How did you end up in here?”, you cooed after you spotted a brown cat that had a completely black right arm. Its fluffy fur was completely damped and it looked very dirty. Also something you could expect of a stray cat. Slowly and cautiously you held out your hand to it as to not scare the cat away.

“Come here. Let me help you”, you said in a low voice. The cat looked at you, then at your hand, rather unimpressed. In true cat manner it seemed like it wanted to say “I don't need your help puny little human”. You giggled.

“Come on. I don't bite and as soon as you are out of the dumpster I leave you alone. What do you say?”, you tried to reason with the cat as if it could understand you. To your astonishment it acted like it did. Suspicious of your hand the cat sniffed it first. Deeming you not an immediate threat it rose up from its position and stepped closer to your hand and yourself. Slowly you dragged your hand to a spot where you could easily grab the cat and lift it out.

“Alright buddy. I’m going to grab you now so don't make me regret it by scratching me”, you spoke more to yourself than the cat. You really didn't want to go to the next doctor and get a tetanus vaccine in. The cat still unimpressed with you followed your movement though. Securely you wrapped one hand around its ribcage and the other, after putting your phone away, beneath its hind paws and scooped it up and over the dumpster back on the ground.

“There ya go”, you smiled down at the cat. “Didn’t even hurt.”

The cat looked up at you and only then do you notice its blue eyes that really dipped into a deep violet. A splatter of yellowish green accompanied the irises. For such a beautiful cat to be a stray, you almost didn't believe it.

Also, the cat didn't move. You fully expected it to dash away as soon as its paws were back on the ground but it just stood in front of you. Almost like it was waiting for something.

“Go on now. Go home”, you crouched down and offered your hand again. “Or don't you have a home? Such a beautiful cat as yourself.”

The cat once more went to your hand. Starting to purr as it rubbed its head against your hand. Demanding pats.

“Yes”, you giggled. “Such a handsome cat. And friendly too. You must have a home, right?”

The cat meowed as if it tried to answer you. Your heart broke a bit. For sure this handsome fellow had a home. As you absentmindedly patted the cat all over you looked around. You felt no collar around the cat’s neck and wondered who it could belong to. Thinking about what to do next, the cat started to rub itself around you. Bumping into you and almost pushing you out of balance.

“Alright, alright”, you began patting it in earnest again.

“So, how about I take you home with me for now and then just put up missing posters, hm? Is that a plan?”, you asked the cat. Meowing back at you, you took it as a yes to your plan. Inwardly you celebrated. The cat distribution system finally chose you! Maybe not for long but you now were in the possession of a new cuddly friend. You might not have anything at home but that could be easily fixed. This beautiful fellow also might not stick around for long but for however long you swore you would take the best care of him. Her? It? Right, you never ascertained which gender the cat had. Eh, whatever. As long as you didn't get attached to it and without much pain could give it away again, all was good. Right. Right?

Future you will hate you for this decision.

The cat stretched, walking around you once more and then pawing at your knees as if to beg to get picked up again. Opening your coat and scooping it up from the ground, you fulfilled the cat’s wishes.

“My god. You are really friendly”, you mused to yourself and scratched the cat's head to which in return it purred even louder.

Together you made your way out of the alley. The dumpster forgotten and your way home just a bit warmer.

“Don’t run away, okay?”, you said softly to the cat before untangling it from your torso. On your track home it made itself very comfortable on you while you carried it. Its head often flitting from one place to another. You blamed the new height of perspective for the cat's behaviour. Couldn’t blame it, really. Imagine yourself getting hoisted up five times your own height and then carried around places that you never seen before. Now that would be an adventure. For the most part the breathing was calm so you didn’t worry that much. More surprised at the fact how the cat didn’t struggle once to get free. Just enjoying the free ride.

Cat on the ground in front of the door of your apartment you dove one hand into your bag, trying to find your keys that you carelessly flung inside. With half an eye on the cat all the time. Not that it would decide in the last moment to make a run for it. Granted that it wouldn’t come far or could cats push open an apartment complex door? Probably not or the coincidence would just be big enough that one of your neighbors decided to go out in that exact moment as well.

You shook your head off these thoughts. Cat was still on the ground and eyeing your door expectantly. Seemingly cat wasn’t even thinking about going anywhere but inside your apartment and here you were already thinking about all the different possible scenarios that would ensue when it ran away. Silly you.

Key victoriously between your fingers you finally unlocked your home and cat dashed inside like the devil was after it. Puzzled you stood at your door for a bit.

“Alright? Well…make yourself at home, I guess”, slowly trudging you went after it into your own four walls. Serotonin tingling your brain with the happiness that cat was very excited to explore its new home.

Exhaustion slowly made itself apparent. Clawing at you and dragging your already tired body. Exhaustion and hunger but motivation wasn’t nowhere near you to make yourself food instantly. Cat on the other hand was curiously looking around. Taking in its new environment. Sniffing, patting around and jumping on shelves to get a better view.

“Don’t throw it down, I swear to god”, you warned as you spotted cat near a vase with flowers inside. Body despite the sluggish feeling ready to jump to save the vase from its crashing end. Expertly the cat avoided the glass and danced around anything that was not stable. You let out a breath of relief. Automatically your body carried to your couch in the living room on which you rather unceremoniously slumped down on. Ah, finally home.

_____

How the fuck did he get here? One moment he was in the deepspace tunnel, conducting a new mission and the next he had four paws. Trash surrounded him, it was fucking dark too. He could make out the sound of cars passing by and people walking on the street. Where was he? To his own surprise he wasn’t that cold until he realised that he had fur as well and when he tried to speak only a meow came out. In no way in hell did he turn into a cat, did he? No. What?

In his moment of utter disorientation, a lid opened and a beautiful face peered down to him. Down? Ah, right. The cat thing.

Caleb watched you fumble for your phone only to be blinded the very next moment by the harsh light of a phone flashlight. It took several blinks to get his bearing again. You reached out your hand to him. Now this was getting ridiculous. “Poor guy”? “How did he end up here”? Sweetheart, that's what he should be asking. Who the fuck are you anyway and why did you open up this-? Where was he? Is this a trash dumpster? Oh his fucking gods. If he could sigh in annoyance, he would.

Caleb eyed your hand suspiciously. The smart move would be to take it. Considering everything, he couldn’t get out of this dumpster alone and what could be worse is that, tomorrow the dumpster could be emptied. Nor did he trust humanity enough that another friendly soul would come and pick him up or at least get him out. You were his only shot right now, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So? He sniffed you. Creepy in his own mind but he was a cat now. The least he could do was to make it look convincing.

You pulled your hand closer to yourself as if to lure him out of his corner. As if he wouldn’t just go to you willingly. How long would he need to put up with this act? Irritation flared up within him. This is so beneath him.

Scratch you? Yeah, why not actually? Instead he let him get picked up gently. Now was not the time to bite the hand that was feeding him.

The moment was faster over than he could comprehend. Swoop- and he was back on the ground. Caleb looked around. Alright, an alley and- you. In your full glory. Black pants, hair tied up, thick scarf around your neck, an open hanging coat and warm looking boots. Beautiful, pretty and cozy looking. Not a threat. A quick scan and he was certain you carried no gun. Not his worst choice, he thought.

Let's make a run for it. What do cats normally do to get pity? Humans usually die to pet them. Swallowing his pride he went to you. Did he like to get touched? Sensitive question. If it would be his childhood friend, he wouldn’t mind but a complete stranger? In this form no less? God, that needed willpower and he was already running low because of this situation. Please let this all be a dream and he would wake up in a few moments in Skyhaven.

“A home?”, yeah in the arms of someone else but that was not here. Just where in heaven sake was he? Get this over with, woman and just take him with you.

Please, he meowed. Inwardly he sighed. Good lord…

Mercy was shown and you actually picked him up. Giddy and a happy smile on your face you wrapped him up in your coat. It was warm and against his own doing he began to purr at the sensation. Okay so maybe this wasn’t as bad as he imagined. Distracted a bit and sleep pulling at him, he let himself enjoy this small reprieve for a bit.

Lights flitted by behind his eyelids and he looked around. First fact? This is not Linkon nor Skyhaven. Second, he didn’t recognise anything. If this was in fact a dream, his subconsciousness was running wild today. The only thing grounding him was you. Your warmth, your soothing touch and your somewhat familiar scent that he confused with that of MC. It wasn’t as overwhelming or confusing when he could nuzzle up to you for now. Just shortly, only for a bit. To get his mind back on track, you know?

The walk you both took, well- you took with him being carried, was not long lived. You said something but he didn’t pay any attention. Something something not running away something something. Where would he go anyway? For christ sake he was a cat right now. First thing he needs to get rid off anyway. Second thing was to get back home. Like home. Once more begging to the skies above that this was a dream. A very vivid one. Caleb couldn't decide if this was a nightmare or not. Was he maybe more exhausted than he wanted to admit? Did he have an accident on his expedition and was now in a coma? Please let it be just that. Maybe also just cognitive training done by Ever. What does he know?

He heard keys jiggling, a soft clicking of a lock falling back and then a door opening. The ash-brown haired man…uh cat made a run for it. Into the apartment! He stopped in his tracks to get everything in. Analysing your furniture and layout. There was one floor length window that opened up to a small, cozy balcony. A couch in an open space that he guessed was your living room. With a TV mounted to the opposite side of the couch. A lengthy cupboard underneath. On it a few nick-nacks: a charger cable connected to a tablet, a switch console and a bunch of books. The couch itself was decorated with plushies and cushions rounded up with a throw blanket. Some of the walls accented by warm pastel colours to widen the otherwise small space. He peered down one corridor and made out two doors. Guessing one of them was a bathroom and the other your own.

Caleb inspected your walls. The one on the far end and left of the couch was more bookshelf than wall. Filled up almost to the brim but he spotted also there nick-nacks in between. He jumped on the couch arm and continued on another shelf. Slowly getting closer to your kitchen area. Once more he heard you say something. Bla bla not throwing down something. He had half a mind to fuck with you, but again not the opportunity to bite the hand that feeds him. Curious what you meant in the first place he looked back and felt the vase against his body. God it was so weird to see his fluffy legs and a tail too. Dirt clung to the fur and he wondered what he did before he regained his consciousness in that dumpster. But better not test what it would take to make you throw him out back on the street. For all he could know, you could be the one with answers. If not, he could still leave.

Rustling and then a dull thumb. Caleb once more looked back. You all but collapsed on your couch and let out a sigh. Tiredness was written all over your face. Your body practically radiated exhaustion. The ash-brown cat didn’t notice before but how could he? Way too immersed in his own problems. Nonetheless were you kind enough to pick him up. Brave enough to go into that spooky alley. Hell, he wouldn’t have. Not without a gun at least. You also were nice enough to carry him here. Not once complaining. If he dares to say, happy to have him with you. Just as warm as he was. Disregarding that he smelled like the trash he lay in.

Suddenly you moved, like you just remembered something important. As if possessed you scrambled up and reached for your tablet. Okay?

Back to discovering your place he left you to your own devices.

Noises sprung from your tablet. An interesting melody and a woman singing. Just what were you doing? Playing a game? Well, he was done looking at your kitchen that was, well what could be interesting about a kitchen? It was a kitchen. Jumping from the counter to your table and back on the ground he tapped over to you. One last jump on the couch right next to you. What he saw next made his breath hitch.

There she was. His childhood friend. On the screen…with another guy? Did you just took pictures of her with another man? Who was he? Some dude with white hair and a pose slung around his childhood friend. They looked happy together. Frozen in time for the picture. What is going on? Did you know her? How could you do this? How- what? How did you take pictures of her? Switching her poses like that? But why did it look so much like a game? Like a 3D rendering of her? What was going on?

But as soon as he needed to process what he saw, your fingers deftly moved over the screen and collected some rewards in an…event? What? Huh?

“Is it a new bug? Why can’t I select Caleb?”, you mumbled to yourself. Completely oblivious to the distress ball that he was right now. To your own confusion you couldn’t do anything with Caleb in your game besides recalling the memories you have obtained of him.

The head of just mentioned man reared. What was happening? Did you know him? What was this game? Who are you? What is happening?!

Enough, he jumped on your tablet.

“What the- ey!”, you exclaimed and he just meowed back. That's what he wanted to yell right now. What was going on?! Answer him!

“You can’t just- get off!”, you giggled. Not taking his jumbling, confusing emotions and obvious distress seriously.

Okay, different approach. He quickly needed a different approach. Before he could come up with anything you picked him up once more and placed him beside you. Damn him right now for being nothing but an eight pound raging ball of fur. Take him seriously, god damn it! Caleb began to meow again and cursed inside his thoughts. One paw on your tablet, but you giggled again.

“What is it? You also want to play?”, you smiled at him, picked him up. Again. Woman, do it one more time and he is going to forget his rational part about him and would really bite you. He needed answers and not pats. Oh- okay. You placed him on your lap. The tablet on your knees so he could have a good view of it.

“Should I explain it to you?”, you continued on and began showing him everything the game had to offer. Beginning with talking with four different men, battling wanderers in bounty hunting or abyssal chaos up to the “main story”, as you called it, until the memories you collected of said four men. Him included as the fifth. What? Without thinking he raised his paw on “falling for you” and selecting himself. Not half a fuck given that he gave himself away, that he was, in fact, not a cat. That's the whole point though, wasn't it? He was a man! Not a damn cat! He was stuck here. God knows where and you! You just playing with her life, with his! With his life like it was a game?!

These were…all his, well some of them anyway, memories he had with MC. The childhood friend he tried to protect at all costs. Given that his methods weren’t always as pure as he wanted them to be but more often than not necessary. All splayed out for your eyes to see and…rekindle them? Watch them over and over? Relive them?

“Do you like him?”, you asked in a soft voice and he turned to look at you. Totally not caring that he, a cat, was patting on your tablet with human like intelligence. Were you that tired? Half asleep already?

Like him? He was him! How could he tell you that? So that you would explain further. Maybe he could figure out this way how he got here. Wrecking his brain he tried to come up with anything. Fuck it. Fucking dip this cat shit. Even more so than he already has. How blaringly obvious did he need to be? For your rather slow mind to comprehend what he means.

Trying to figure out how to show you, tell you or rather scream at you that this 3D rendering of him was he, he put a paw on his image and then on his furry body. As well as he could at least. Which in result was him patting his image then getting up, sitting on his hind legs and putting his paw on his torso area. Caleb begged to the skies above that you understood his message but to his dismay you looked at him puzzled. Oh his fucking gods…

Alright. Different approach. This was taking all of his patience and he barely had none.

Once more he put one paw on his image that beneath showed a short video out of the perspective of what he only could guess was MC. He didn’t want to think too long about it. Focus. Again he raised his other paw and put it on his chest. This time though he meowed and looked at you imploringly. Please, please let this be enough so you put two and two together. But even he realised that this was rather far-fetched and if this same thing would happen to him, neither would he understand what a cat would try to tell him.

“What is it? Why-”, and then you looked at the screen that froze over the memory. “Hm?”

Oh my god, did you understand? Please!

You looked past his small frame and he could see the thoughts behind your eyes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he was Caleb! Come on. Give him answers!

“Nah”, you giggled. Not knowing what you might have said he just nodded with his head.

“His name is Caleb, should I call you that as well?”, you thought out loud and stroked down from his head to his back.

No! Yes, his name was Caleb but no! God fucking damn it. Just how was he supposed to tell you that Caleb was well- him. He was Caleb. The same man, now a cat in this universe, that you saw on that screen. Distraught, he wrecked his brain. Unfortunate for him there was no book or briefing or training he could have done to prepare him for playing charades as a cat. “How weird would it be if I named you after a otome game video character?”, you sighed. “God, I must be very lonely to even be considering that.” Maybe, but not the point here, woman. You could question your terrible life choices another time but right now, he needed you to figure out his image riddle!

~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*

Henlo, to everybody that made it all the way down here! I plan on making this a multi part story, so stay tunned! If anybody has some cat involved stuff and want to see it here, don't be too shy to tell me about it <3

Thank you for reading, beautiful soul

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x reader #reader x caleb #caleb love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff

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fruitgummies01 · 5 months ago

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What a way to end the first season of AYS!!

I don't even know if I can even put into words what I'm feeling after watching the last episode of Are You Sure. Grateful? Devastated? Sad? Overjoyed? None of those words do justice to my emotions and overall feelings.

What a beautiful way to end this first season. We really got to witness just how much Jimin and Jungkook mean to each other, and it really made it clear to me why they chose to enlist together and not be separated. I can't believe we as fans got to spend such a precious amount of time with jikook right before the start of their military service.

There were so many moments during this last episode that made me emotional. Jimin tearing up on his way to wake Jungkook up on their last day, Jungkook (who we've seen repeatedly enjoying his love for beer) choosing not to drink so that he could drive them to the airport (and have that alone time), jikook reacting to the first episode of AYS and laughing so hard (to the point that Jungkook had to keep wiping the tears from his eyes🥹), Jungkook trying to cheer Jimin up on that last day, Jungkook saying that these trips with Jimin were the best of his entire life 😭, and even the subtle touches. 😩

The car rides. They got to spend so much of their time in the car driving just the two of them since they were constantly saying out loud just how long their drives were, but we only got to see a few minutes of it. I love so much that they had that time just the two of them.

Jimin's absolute love for Standing Next to You is so amazing to see (and also understandable lol). He sings it in almost every episode. It says something about Jimin as a person that he is so selflessly supportive.

Jimin at the end talking about how impactful their trips were to him and how they made him appreciate things like this again. Jungkook wanting to go back to the first day of their trip 🥺. Like Are You Sure meant so much to both of them they even included a clip of them saying their phrase "Are You Sure" on enlistment day 😭.

I am so thankful that Jimin and Jungkook got to show these sides of themselves in AYS, in a way that's different and unique from all the other BTS content. I feel like I got to know them on a deeper level watching their interactions and experiencing some of the joy they were so clearly feeling. I hope Jimin and Jungkook know just how much fans enjoyed watching every minute of their show and the amount of happiness they've given to fans, and I hope they decide to keep the same format going forward with future seasons!! 💜❤️

#are you sure #ays #jimin and jungkook #jikook #jungji #appreciative for the time we got to spend with them #will hold on to this show until they are officially back

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russellsppttemplates · 26 days ago

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We learn to hold its hand (Charles Leclerc)

Two hearts that lost themselves in pain.

Two hearts that found eachother in love.

Note: english is not my first language. It's been some time since I posted one of these, hopefully I still know how to do it 🥲 A lot of changes have been going on at my job and I've been trying to adjust to all of it without loosing my sanity and writinb has been a good escape! I know this is a heavy topic, so proceed carefully, but I was feeling like writing this so here it goes... For those who are here and have stayed, thank you for being so patient and for staying - I hope this is good enough ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not taking requests right now, so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to send them in but know that I don't know when I'll be able to get to them!

my masterlist

Cw: cancer, death of close relatives (reader's and Charles' father), grief, hospital procedures

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3 @sltwins

"Bonjour papa", Charles greeted, running his hand over the photograph that was on the grave, "I just got back from the track where we did the testing for Sauber, the last one before the season starts. It's hard, but I'm not afraid", he gulped, "Because you taught me that, even if I'm afraid, I have to go with fear. To move forward, because that's the only way. In racing, I can do that, but I won't be able to continue my life without you because I won't be able to. I try. Every day, I try. For maman, especially, since she tries to be strong for me, Lorenzo and Arthur, and somewhere along the way, we gathered the strength we didn’t know we had, but when we realize it, there it is, supporting us. I'm sure it's you. Every day, I remember that afternoon when you taught me how to ride a bike. Your insistence on removing the training wheels from the big wheel that ended up with a wound on my knee and that made me scream a few times. I remember you telling me that there were worse things than that simple scratch. I never thought that one day we would have to face them and that they would be the main reason why you are no longer by my side", Charles wiped away the tears, while he couldn't help but smile at the beautiful memories that came back to him, "But more than that, I remember the day you put a kart in front of me for the first time. There, I knew it was love for life. Yes, like Francis Cabrel's song. Or that afternoon when I stepped onto the concrete of the best race circuit in the world. There, I knew that I would begin a story in which, even though I was the main character, I would never have been able to write all the chapters that have been completed so far without the help of your pen. That support, that dedication, that encouragement, that love, father. Without them, I would never be the Charles that I am today. There was so much left to say and so much to do. But I am grateful for everything we said and for everything we did. I remember you telling me that you could no longer be strong and you asked me to be. I miss you so much. I miss you so much that I cannot express in words. I just want to thank you for continuing to light my path and for being the best father in the world. You are not by my side, but you are on my side. I feel that, every day. Thank you for continuing to support me in every race and in every challenge that life throws at me. Thank you for being so present, even though you're so far away. I miss you every day. And I feel you with me every day. Je t'aime, papa", he says goodbye, standing up and shaking off the little dirt on his jeans.

He picks up his backpack and starts walking towards the cemetery exit, but a sweet, melodious voice makes him stop walking. Charles looks in its direction, observing a female figure who, sitting next to someone's grave, was quickly but skillfully strumming the acoustic guitar and, at the same time, singing the song he had included in today's conversation with his father. Je l'aime à mourir by Francis Cabrel. Charles smiles at such coincidence and turned his back, picking up his pace, but soon stopping again, feeling a great need to go and meet that girl whose voice conveyed the pain he knew so well - loss.

Charles swallowed hard and instead of walking away, he found himself getting closer and closer to the young woman who, judging by your physical features, was probably around his age.

He waited for you to finish the song to make myself present, since you hadn’t noticed him yet.

“I miss you every day, Lucas. I wish you were here. It would make everything so much easier", he heard you say, through tears, and he felt the impact of all her words. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t feel the same way.

Charles looks at the person you were visiting and his eyes almost popped out of his head when he notices the photo of a boy who couldn’t have been more than eight years old in that portrait. The date of death was twelve years ago.

"Who are you?", you ask.

Charles quickly woke up from his thoughts, focusing his gaze on you, now curiously appreciating him. The colour of your eyes, the way your hair fell down your back and your bare skin faacinaged him.

"Forgive me", he requested, a little embarrassed, "I heard you sing and I couldn't help but come here and tell you that you sing very well and that the person you dedicated the song to probably agrees with me", he replied and your shy laugh made him laugh too.

"Thank you", you offered, quite embarrassed, which was still funny, "He's my twin brother. He was eight years old when he left", you pointed to the portrait you had looked at moments before.

"My father. He passed away a couple of months ago", Charles decided to share the reason why he was also there.

"My brother had a rare blood disease, a cancer doctors were never able to identify. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy were not enough to cure him. In fact, the body of an eight-year-old boy could only handle so much at that time. I was the same age, but I will never forget my brother’s suffering and the strength he had until the end. My childhood innocence was taken from me that day. I am not an example to anyone. The true example of life left more than a decade ago, on a journey that still had a long way to go had it not ended the way it did", you said as you packed your things, letting your anger speak.

Charles noticed the crack in your voice and a few seconds later, he heard your sniffle.

The first instict he had was that he wanted to hug you in that moment and reassure you with just his arms, since words would never be enough comfort at a time like that. And at the same time, he felt that you needed to talk to someone who, being unknown and impartial, would never judge you for the anger you were experiencing.

"My father battled cancer for a few years but, unfortunately, he ended up losing the fight in July. However, the real winner is him. For so many reasons: for the way he faced the reality that was knocking on his door, for how he forced us to face it in the most positive way possible, so that it would become a little easier, and for the way he prepared us for his departure. He is a true hero. If, one day, I can be half the man and father that he was and is, you can be sure that I will leave this life happy", Charles spoke.

"They truly are the heroes who left early to prove that angels really exist", you said, looking at Charles intently in a way made him feel like an open book in front of the most beautiful reader he had ever seen in his life.

"I couldn’t agree more", Charles murmured, too caught up in the gaze of that twenty-year-old girl who was so much more like him than he had thought.

"Y/N", you held out your hand and he smiled at your introduction.

"Charles", he reciprocated, fitting his hand in yours, which you immediately shook.

And there, he knew that you were marked by the wound that would never heal and by the feeling that would never disappear: pain.

There, those two hearts that were lost in pain would be the same ones that would find each other in love.

Charles got up from the floor, after the usual daily conversation he shared with his father after training. He noticed you in the same position you had been in before, but this time, you were reciting poems from a small book you had in your hand, completely distracted from your surroundings.

It was the first time in almost three weeks that he had seen you again. You had stopped showing up at the same time as he did and for a moment he thought you were avoiding him. But he soon put those thoughts aside. After all, if you didn’t even know each other that well, what was the need?

“Y/N", Charles said as he approached you, alerting you of his presence.

You looked at him with a shy smile and immediately stood up as well, "I haven’t seen you around here since", he added and you laughed softly.

"In the last three weeks, I came in the morning, because of the internship I'm doing. I had to change schedules with a colleague and I couldn't come in the afternoon. Now everything is back to normal, so here I am", you explained and he nodded in understanding, "You never miss your schedule", you pointed out it was his turn to laugh.

"This is the best time for me to come because this way, I can spend more time with my father before the cemetery closes", Charles explains and you nod, "Hmm, I really like talking to you but, is it just me who thinks we're not in the best place?".

Your beautiful laugh makes him laugh too, "Without shadow of a doubt", you agreed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I bet you're hungry", Charles assuredly and you laughed again.

"Very", you dmitted, blushing, which made him smile at your embarrassment, "the line at the bakery in front of where I work was too long and, I'm sorry, but patience has never been my strong point", you defended yourself and he giggled.

"So it's better to go without food...?", Charles quirked an eyebrow as he asked, surprised and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"I wouldn't go without food, obviously. I was just going to have to snack something later", you shrugged.

Once you stood outside the cemetery, you looked at each other intensely, not knowing what to say, "Would you accept an invitation for a snack?", Charles gathered the courage to ask and it was your turn to laugh at his shyness.

"Yes", your positive answer made him smile.

"Do you have a car?", he asked and you said no.

"Not yet. It’s at the mechanic’s", you made a face of disgust and Charles laughed, "the good news is that my father can pick it up at the end of this week. You have no idea how much I need it for my internship", you complained and Charles smiled at you relaxed way.

"Then you’re coming with me", he invited and you thanked him.

Charles lead you to his car and you smiled in gratitude when he opened the door for you so you could get in.

"And, if you’ll allow me, can I know what you study, Y/N?", Charles asked curiously, when you were already in line at the caffè, the place being chosen by the young woman during your journey, which had been made in a silence that Charles wouldn’t consider awkward but also not very comfortable. The awkwardness was still there.

"Radiology and radiotherapy", you replied, letting out a smile, "Twelve years ago, for a few months, I followed my brother's fight and was inspired by the humanity of those doctors and the team responsible for his case. The way he was treated, the constant encouragement in his recovery, the words and friendly shoulder they gave my parents, and even me, the way they prepared us for the worst and the way they accompanied us in our mourning, was truly human and truly inspiring. And there, I decided that this was something I would like to do in the future. I want to help others like they helped me more than a decade ago", you said proudly, earning a big smile from Charles.

You were interrupted when it was your turn to make the requests and respective payment. Charles insisted on paying the entire bill and you gave in, after much insistence from his behalf.

"Next time, you'll pay", Charles promised, as you walked aimlessly through the streets of Monaco.

"Will there be a next one?", you asked, laughing and Charles couldn’t help but look away from your shy eyes, "It’s a promise, then", you added and Charles looked at you again, already looking at him with a smile.

You ended up sitting on the lawn of a garden, finally digging into your food.

"And you? Can I know what you study?", you asked, equally curious and Charles laughed, still feeling a little satisfied that you didn’t know him as a Formula One rookie.

"I’m a race driver", he told you and you looked at him in surprise.

"What category? And which team?", you asked with interest and he smiled.

"The best in the world and the biggest one in racing", he replied, not wanting to say the team's name directly, because that way he would be able to know which one she supported.

"Do you race for Ferrari?", you asked and Charles smiled broadly, happy with what he had heard.

"I was in their academy last year", Charles confirmed and you smiled.

"How come I've never seen you there?", your curiosity and interest were something that satisfied him. After all, he wasn't the only one who wanted to know more.

"I was in Formula Two with Prema", he explained and her "makes sense", spoken in English, made him laugh.

"But tell me something. Are you regular at races?", Charles asked and you nodded.

"You could say that", you both laughed, "My father and grandfather were always

big racing fans. In fact, they are. And they passed that love on to Lucas", you smiled and looked down at the ground, "The few times he wasn't in the hospital, he was at the track. What he felt for racing was something I had never seen before. It was contagious. Everyone infected Lucas and he infected me. After his death, I promised myself to accompany my father and grandfather, and even go there alone, to every race that was done there. It was, and is, a way of feeling Lucas with me. That’s why I love racing so much", you looked at him with teary eyes, letting the tears fall when Charles brought his thumb to your face, caressing it.

"I’m sorry", you murmured and he quickly denied it, so that you would know that everything was okay.

"You’re inspiring, Y/N. I hope you know that", Charles offered.

You shook your head, smiling, "No, I don't think so. I’m just an eight-year-old child, in the body of a twenty-year-old girl who cries every night, wishing her brother was by her side", you spoke, with some difficulty, and Charles swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to comfort you.

"No, Y/N. You are a young 20-year-old woman who lost her brother at the age of eight and who, even today, is learning to deal with his absence", Charles said and you quickly wiped away the tears that were falling from your eyes, unable to help but sigh heavily.

"So, tell me, how does it feel to wear red? I clearly have been focusing in specific catehorues", you asked with a smile and Charles smiles at your change of subject.

"Incredible. It is a dream come true. I have no words to thank the trust that my team put in me, and how stepping into F1, even if it's not Ferrari, is a huge sense of responsibility, after all, you’re representing one of the best teams in the sport, the best in the world for me", Charles proudly answered your question, not avoiding remembering the day he signed his first professional contract with the unspoken promise and hope of a place in the Scuderia.

"How many years has it been?", you asked.

"I've been with the best the world for a few years", you both smiled.

“We could go watch the historic race this Saturday on the track just outside the city", you invited Charles and he smiled at you initiative, not hesitating to nod.

“I was already thinking of going, but now I’m really going to", Charles answered and you blushed.

"Can you give me your phone number so we can arrange things better?", Charles asked, feeling brave enough to do so, and you nodded.

You exchanged contact details and chatted a little longer until you were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. Charles waited for the call to end and returned the smile you gave him.

"Typical motherly concern", you explained, and Charles laughed, nodding along

"I know how it feels", he commented and it was your turn to smile

"Since my brother passed away, my mother, who was already overprotective, has become even more so. I don’t blame her for that, quite the opposite. I have learned to deal with it and I don’t make her life harder, I have a very open relationship with my mother. My first academic choice was not Monaco, but in Montpellier", you said as Charles made such curiosity known and looked at you, "But the truth is that I couldn’t even finish the first semester in the city because I couldn’t stand being alone. It was as if the pain multiplied by mixing with the loneliness that I felt. We were so close that I couldn’t separate the pain of having to leave for one of my dreams. I wasn’t prepared for the nights when nightmares haunted me and the absence of my brother was felt more than ever. So, I asked my parents to come and get me and I moved back to Monaco, where it didn't get easier but it wasn’t as difficult as being alone. Since my brother left, we’ve gotten even closer. But the first few days were the hardest. My mother became depressed, my father closed himself off a bit more and, at the age of twelve, I let myself be suffocated by the feelings I had no one to talk to, until my father learned to deal with the pain and helped us do the same. Someone needed to get back on their feet and help others get back on their feet too, and my father was my hero. We sought out the best psychologists for my mother and her progress was very positive, but in truth, what she was doing, and rightly so, was mourning the loss of the most real, pure and true love in the world. She was mourning the death of her son. And she did it in the only way she knew how. Today, we continue to do it, but we do it differently. And if people now talk and watch us go about our day to day lives, it's not because it no longer hurts - because it hurts a lot - it's because we've learned to embrace pain and deal with it. We hold its hand. I think the learning process is lifelong. And I'm going to die, still learning how to deal with it", you said, and the impact of your words prompt Charles to shed a tear, which was joined by all the others, for all the memories that hit him.

"I miss him so much", Charles whispered, avoiding your gaze.

Just out of the corner of his eye, Charles could see you get closer to him, smiling faintly when you pulled him into a hug he didn't hesitate in joining.

You fit perfectly on his chest, head nestled there as he hugged you by your waist, enveloping you and kissing the top of your head without a hitch.

And in that first touch of many, you got to know eachother through the way you both knew so well - pain. And right there, without knowing, you started another one - love.

Charles was coming home after another training session, the last one before the charity race he was participating in which would take place the next day at ten in the morning. Today was also the historic race day, the race he would watch with you, after meeting up every day that week at your usual spot - although it wasn’t the happiest, you always ended up going to different places in the capital city, where you took the opportunity to get to know each other better.

"Charles", he heard his mother call out and smiled, going to meet the woman who was preparing dinner.

"Hi, maman”, he kissed her hair and bent down a little so she could kiss his cheek, “I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you", he looked at her with a guilty expression, "I'm not going to have dinner at home", he continued, enjoying the meat she was cooking that smelled very good.

"It's all right", Pascale smiled, "you're going to watch the historic race with Joris and Riccardo, aren't you?", she asked, as they were usually his company.

"Well, about that..", Charles mumbled, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture of confusion that didn't go unnoticed by the oldest in the room.

"Charles Marc Hervé Perceval! What aren't you telling me?", his mother asked, genuinely curious, and he laughed out loud when she turned off the stove and crossed her arms, waiting for him to start talking.

"I'm going with a girl", he started and saw her smile grow at the information he had given her, "her name is Y/N. She is twenty years old and is a final-year student in the radiology and radiotherapy course. Unfortunately, we did not meet under happy circumstances, but the time we have spent together has allowed us to create and experience moments that go beyond that", he explained, avoiding his mother’s gaze to hide his slight embarrassment.

"Where did you meet?", Pascale wanted to know.

"At the cemetery. It was during one of the visits I paid to papa, three weeks ago. She lost her twin brother to a rare blood disease that doctors were never able to identify. Y/N was eight years old when he passed away. I have never related with anyone as much as I did with her. She understands me. In fact, we understand each other. She is simply beautiful in every way", Charles shrugged, not avoiding a smile as he remembered you.

"Charles, is it just me or are you in love?", his mother asked with a smile as she hugged him, fitting into his arms.

"It’s not possible, maman. Only this week that we’ve gotten closer", he replied, not avoiding a nervous laugh.

Pascale laughed, "and since when did that stop you from feeling something for that young woman? Charles, amour, it’s not the time of things but the intensity with which we experience them", she wisely advised and Charles nodded, smiling weakly.

"Thank you for everything, maman. Je t'aime", he whispered against her hair, leaving a kiss there.

"Never forget that you, as well as your brothers, are my pride and the light of my eyes. Je t'aime, Charles", Pascale spoke.

Charles held his mothee on his arms, wanting her to be aware of the infinite gratitude he felt for her.

Pascale pulled away, wiping her tears, and smiled at Charles, "Come on, I don’t want you like this!", Charles asked and she laughed, waving.

"I’m fine", his mother assured, "Now go take a shower and get ready so you don’t keep the girl waiting. I’ll make you a bowl of cereal, so you can eat something before you go", she warned and smiled, getting a kiss on her forehead.

"You’re the best!!", Charles exclaimed, leaving the room, and she laughed.

"I know!", she said, laughing, and Charles laughed at her expression.

Once he got to his bedroom, Charles chose a presentable outfit, wanting to dress appropriately and blend in with all of the fans and enjoy the race that was probably one of the last moments before everything flooded in. The PR team had already warned him that once he was in Formula One, everything changed and he hoped he could have this evening.

He ran to the bathroom, took a quick and relaxing shower, and got dressed without rushing, making sure he looked his best. After that, he went back to the kitchen, where his mother was still, finishing the preparations for dinner.

“Since I didn’t have any company for the meal, I invited your cousins”, she said.

Charles gave her a guilty smile, "I'm really sorry, maman", he spoke sincerely, and it was her turn to laugh, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, Charles, I was just kidding. I want you to go and enjoy Y/N's company. I haven't even met her yet and I already like her", she commented.

"Oh really? Why is that?", Charles wondered, really interested.

"Why? Because every time you talk about her, it's impossible for you not to smile. And I like that", she admitted and he blushed, hearing his mother giggle at his shyness.

"Maman!", he mumbled and the older woman laughed.

"What's wrong?", she asked, pretending not to notice as her son rolled his eyes, laughing.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything, I should've stayed quiet", Charles complained and she laughed out loud.

"As if I wouldn't eventually find out, Charles", she winked, convinced, and Charles laughed at the joviality that characterized his mother, even after everything that life had put her through.

They were closer than ever and he felt very comfortable sharing any kind of subject with her, she was his best friend and the best thing in his world.

"I really have to go", Charles announced, looking at his watch, making sure he wouldn’t be late.

"Do you have everything with you, amour?”, she asked and he looked at her confused.

“Yes, why?”, Charles answered with another question, while he set the bowl of cereal in the sink.

"Are you sure?", she insisted and he snorted, patting his pockets and checking that nothing was missing.

"I have everything", he replied, kissing her forehead as a way of saying goodbye, "I'll see you later. Je t'aime!", he shouted from the living room and heard her laugh.

"Do you have the condoms with you?", Pascale asked, giggling, and Charles almost choked on his own saliva.

He couldn't believe it.

"Seriously, maman?", he made himself heard out loud.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Charles? I too was a young woman your age once. And I'm too young to be a grandmother!", she said, coming to meet him at the door, and she couldn't help but laugh when she saw his embarrassment.

"I'm leaving!", Charles exclaimed, leaving a last kiss on her cheek and walking all the way to the car while laughing, knowing his mother never missed the opportunity and had a great ability to embarrass her own son.

Charles got in the car and drove off towards your house which, even after a week, continued to leave him astonished by the external beauty that set it apart from the others in the same neighborhood. He sent you a quick text letting you know that he was already waiting for you and, about three minutes later, he heard a door slam, looking in the direction of the noise and not helping but smile when he saw how you were dressed appropriately for the race.

"Wow, yes, we have a racing fan", he complimented and the brunette giggle.

You were dressed in a vintage jacket, an allusive cap with the peak turned backwards and the rest of the outfit complimented it.

The rest of the journey to the track was transformed into a karaoke session, "tell me if we don't make an unbeatable singing duo", you joked as you walked towards the interior of the building where you would be sitting.

"Like society hasn't seen in many years", Charles joined in your joke and you laughed

Charles put his right hand on your shoulder, hugging you and guided you through the crowd so that you wouldn’t lose each other. He heard his name being called and two kids running towards him, making you stop walking. He greetd them with a smile and they ask for a photo that would be the responsibility of the woman who was waiting for them to position themselves, "your girlfriend can also join the portrait", the oldest women pointed to you, and you couldn't help but blush, making Charles smile sideways when he noticed such a thing.

"We're not-", Charles didn't let you finish.

"Come here, Y/N", he asked and the lady waved, heading towards you.

After the photos were taken, the kids thanked Charles, immediately disappearing from our sight, "Do you want to see something around here or would you rather go inside now?", Charles chatted up while you tried to show yourself less embarrassed.

He couldn't help but admit that he was enjoying seeing you like that and, more than that, knowing that he was the one that made you feel that way.

"We can go inside, since race time is very close", you preferred and Charles nodded, placing his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the entrance.

You greeted the various security guards who were there and headed to the place that your tickets indicated. Because Charles belonged in a professional driving championship, he was entitled to the VIP stands.

"Wow", you exclaimed, truly enchanted by the view you had of the track, which was undergoing the final touches before opening its doors to the public.

"Have you never been here before?", Charles asked and saw you deny it, while remaining astonished, appreciating the atmosphere around you.

"Only for a visit when Lucas was with us, never when there was an actual race happening. This is going to be great", you finally looked at him, offering him a smile, "thank you, Charles", you spoke and he acknowledged the sincerity of your words, smiling at you broadly.

“You’re welcome", he downplayed the situation, just hoping you would feel good, "I don’t know if you drink, but would you like a beer? Or perhaps some wine?", he asked and you laughed.

“I don’t usually drink, but today I can make an exception", you accepted and Charles smiled.

“Are you sure? You have every right to say no" he made it clear and you laughed, denying it.

“Seriously, Charles, we can go", you insisted and he waved, giving you space so you could go ahead of him.

The crowd there was huge, but that didn't stop you from drinking and snacking before the race started.

"The teams are getting ready", Charles said as you finished our drinks and you waved, standing up and opening your wallet to take out the money.

"Hey you! What are you doing?", Charles quickly intervened, placing his hand on yours to stop your movements.

"Charles, what did you promise? 'You'll pay next time', that's what you said", you imitated his tone of voice and you burst out laughing.

"Can't you wait until next time?", he insisted and you gave him a death glare, making Charles realise there wasn't much he could do.

"Okay then", he gave in and you giggled smugly.

You went back to your seats after you paid, watching everyone get ready for the race.

"Do you have a favourite driver?", Charles wondered.

"I don't think so. Each one has something to offer to the races, and it's not like many of them are here", you spoke before seeing Lewis Hamilton approach one of the cars.

A song came on and you pulled Charles to dance with you, singing in his ear as he smiled, tightening his grip on your waist. "Now comes the part that no one knows how to sing", you added, moving away from Charles a little and he could notice your shyness, most likely because of the action you had done before.

You danced awkwardly, which earned you a couple of looks, and stopped when the announcer of the track, already full, made himself heard, announcing the race was about to start.

"I love this part", you smiled, getting a kiss from Charles on the hair that was not covered by your cap.

The race started out well and everything seemed to be going as they hoped, the announcer mentioning some facts they had about the historic race.

"THAT'S AN OVERTAKE!", you shouted and the entire section stood up, celebrating yet another great move from Lewis.

You screamed euphorically, pulling Charles into a quick hug, before joining in the celebrations with the rest of the fans.

This girl was out of this world, Charles thought.

"I've never seen a girl like you", he said, automatically enchanted by you.

"That's because I'm an exclusive edition", you joked and you both laughed, "Is that good?", you asked seriously.

Charles returned your gaze, nodding, "Very. You're different from everyone I've ever met", he admitted and you smiled, looking away from him.

"Good. That way, I don't have to worry about them", you shrugged.

Charles smiled, satisfied with the answer you had given him, "Come here" he asked in an act of courage, hugging you while you rested your head on his chest and focusing your attention on the race.

When the race ended for a break until the next one, you took the opportunity to go to the bathroom, while Charles chose to do the same.

Since he was quicker than you, given that the line was shorter, he waited for you outside, where there was a line of young people who were looking at him curiously.

"Finally", Charles muttered to himself as he watched you leave the compartment.

"What happened? Were you feeling watched over?", you made fun and he stuck his tongue out at you, pulling you closer to him. "Watched over?! It seemed like the girls were undressing me with their eyes", he accused.

"That was most likely exactly what was happening", you confirmed and he looked at you in shock, which made you laugh again, "What?! You can't judge them!", you argued.

Charles laughed, honestly pleased with what he had heard, "Oh really? Have you also undressed me with your eyes?", he whispered in youe ear.

"No, I prefer to do it with my hands", you murmured against his mouth and walked ahead of him, leaving him perplexed.

Well, take that, Charles, his subconscious spoke and he chuckled - the ability you had to leave him speechless was unbelievable. Noticing the faces you were making, he decided to return to your seats, where you were already dividing your attention between your cell phone and the track.

"What are you watching?", Charles asked, moving closer to you to observe what you were watching, spending some time watching the silliness and fun on her screen.

"The game is going to start again", Charles said as you quickly turned off the electronic device and hugged his waist, while you paid attention.

"What is he doing to Lewis?", Charles complained.

"Do not play around with him!", you joined.

"Maybe there's a favourite after all?", Charles teased you.

"Maybe, he is very skilled and handsome", you shrugged.

"Oh, good", Charles murmured, feeling a pang of jealousy at the way you had spoken about the driver.

Your laugh made him realize that you had noticed, "Charles, are you jealous?", you mocked and he rolled his eyes, avoiding looking at you.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know that word", he shrugged, trying to make you forget the subject but you didn’t give in.

Instead, you brought your hand to his face, making him look at you, "I’m here with you, aren’t I?", you asked seriously and he smiled weakly, nodding along, "So it’s not Lewis that interests me", you concluded, paying attention to the track again.

Charles sighed, pulling you closer to him, a gesture that made you smile.

Once the race ended, you headed towards the outside, trying to avoid the confusion as much as possible.

"Shall we eat something?", Charles asked you, intertwining your fingers, and you smiled shyly at him, which made him chuckle.

"Please!", you agreed and laughed out loud. "Suggestions?", he asked and you looked thoughtful.

"The center might not be a good idea because it must be full after this", you ruled out, "that new panini shop?", you suggested and he agreed.

You got in the car and headed towards the shop, ordering it to go and Charles ended up choosing a nice spot that overviewed the city.

"Tomorrow I'm going to race", he began, "I know it's not your tradition, but I'd like for you to come watch", he invited and you smiled.

"I'll be there", you agreed and it was his turn to smile, "At what time is it?", you wondered.

"At 10:00 in the morning. I know it's Sunday but...", Charles trailed off.

"Tomorrow, at that time, I'll be there to support you", you promised and he thanked you.

Charles parked the car and you got out of the vehicle, enjoying the fresh night air, which was quite pleasant. He cleaned his shirt and pants again and heard you laugh as you came closer to help him with the crumbs.

"Clumsy", you criticized jokingly, and he stuck his tongue out at you.

You sat down on one of the benches that were there and you sighed, making Charles look in your direction.

"How peaceful", you whispered, while keeping your eyes closed and a small smile on your lips.

"Monaco is really beautiful", Charles said, hearing you agree with a small murmur.

You took off your cap and tried to fix you hair, making Charles laugh.

"Let me help you", he gently asked and you turned to him, letting him fix the rebelliousness that characterized you.

As soon as he finished, he continued to caress them, which made you close you eyes to enjoy the affection.

"Kiss me", you murmured and he looked at you in surprise.

"What?", Charles asked, trying to understand if he had heard correctly.

"Kiss me, Charles", you repeated.

"Can I?", still astonished, he wanted to make sure.

"You should", you replied as Charles smiled at your answer and pulled you towards him, appreciating the serenity of your face.

"Finally", Charles whispered against your mouth before finally placing your lips together for the first time - of many, he hoped.

You allowed his tongue to enter your mouth when he silently asked for permisson and he intensified your kiss, truly surrendering to you.

And in eachother's lips, you discovered the path to peace, the one you both had lost years before with the pain that had overwhelmed you.

You woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, quickly getting up, not wanting to be late for Charles' race,

"Y/N, dear?", you heard the surprise in you mother's voice and couldn't help but laugh. "Hi, mama", you said, giving her permission to come in, and she did so.

"Are you going to tell me why you're up at this hour? Of all people, you who hibernates all weekend!", she joked and you stuck out your tongue, which made her laugh.

"I just felt like getting up, that's all", you said briefly, as you looked through your closet, looking for the most presentable, yet comfortable, clothes possible.

"And why are you going to dress so nicely if you're going to spend the whole day at home?", she mused, suspiciously, and you laughed at her curiosity.

"Okay, mama, you win", you eventually gave in and she celebrated, which made you laugh out loud.

"I'm going to watch the charity race", you said and her curious look made you realize that her questions were only at the beggining.

"Who's your boyfriend from there?", she didn't hesitate to ask and you looked at her, shocked etched on your face.

"Why do I have to have a boyfriend to watch the race?", you asked, astonished and she looked at you with an expression that said to not mess with her.

"Your mother is old but she's not stupid, Y/N", she scolded, laughing and you followed.

"Mama, you are forty-eight years old. You are a young woman", you complimented her, trying to make her drop about the subject and the older woman laughed.

"Yes, yes, sweetheart. Now the question I asked you", she insisted and you laughed, shaking your head.

"I don't have a boyfriend, mama. But I have a friend who would like me to go and I'm going", you told her and the smile she gave you made you blush.

"Name?", she wanted to know and you snorted, making her laugh.

"How annoying", you rumbled and she laughed again, "Charles".

"Then I hope this Charles takes care of you or the wooden spoon will fly", she threatened and you couldn't help but laugh with her.

"You're amazing, mama", you replied and she laughed, coming towards you and kissing your forehead.

"I just want you to be happy", she muttered, while caressing your face and smiling.

"I am", you assured her and she smiled, before walking away, leaving you alone again. You ran to the private bathroom and took a quick shower, leaving it shortly after so you could get ready in time. You applied some light makeup and dried your hair, leaving it in its natural waves.

You went down the stairs, passing through the living room, patting Simba on the head, the old Labrador who had always been with you, and whose name was based on Lucas' favorite movie.

"Good morning", you greeted your parents, although you had already spoken to your mother.

"Up so early, my dear?", your father was surprised and you looked at my mother, who was already looking at you with a suggestive smile that made you roll you

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fluff #f1 fic #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc angst

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seospicybin · 1 year ago

Text

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Bangchan x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (11,7k words)

Author's note: Season 3 is done! See you on the next season :)

YOU: $0? [Facepalms] So, where do we go from here?

The bright sunny day is not working to cheer everyone up after the shocking announcement that there's no money left in the prize fund.

You've been sitting outside with Chan, holding each other's hand and trying to process everything while looking at the beautiful view of the endless sea and the surface of water glimmering under the sun.

Chan has been quiet for too long and it's concerning. You decide to break the silence, shaking his hand and saying, "We spent too much money, babe."

He sighs and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, "Too much."

You don't want to put salt on the wound but it's time to face the the truth that you both fucked up.

"We let them down. We let everyone down," you say with a heavy heart.

He looks at you and sees you in the eyes, "I'm sure there'll be a way to make it up to them."

He doesn't sound that confident with what he said but you're grateful that in a time like this, he tries his best to comfort you.

"And we'll show them that we have a genuine connection," he says with a soft smile.

You return the smile and put your other hand on your clasped hands, "We took a big step last night."

Physical connection is not that new to you but after last night, you can feel that something shifts between the two of you into something that is peculiarly new yet familiar at the same time.

"I feel closer. I feel more connected to you," you honestly tell him the changes you felt.

"That's true," he agrees with a smile that is more brighter and hopeful than before.

You take the chance to comfort him this time and sweetly smile at him, "We got each other," you remind him.

It's you and him versus everyone. For better or worse, through ups and downs, you face it together. You may be at the bottom now but you're sure you both will be back on top, together.

"Always," he says.

He brings your mouth close to his mouth and kisses it, "Since day one."

That makes you take a look back. You've been going through so much together and it makes you realize that with him, you feel like you can do anything.

Together you are invincible.

YOU: I feel terrible for what I did but at least, now I no longer doubt the feelings I have for Chris. It feels real now and it's scary... in the best way.

In the afternoon, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

Chan hasn't recovered from the announcements from this morning yet so he's not keen to know what's coming his way, he has an inkling that it's not good for him and you.

Just like you read his mind, you place a soft kiss on his neck and wipe the lipstick mark you left on it with your thumb.

"We got each other," you whisper.

Chan is grateful for you, you've been so open and understanding, even though he's a hard-shell type of person, you make it hard for him not to let you in.

The chime comes and Jace gags in response. The melodic chime is certainly, anxiety-inducing.

"The prize fund is currently at $0," Lana announces as if everyone has forgotten about it.

"However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," she further informs.

It's like everyone is collectively letting out a big sigh of relief and getting a breath of fresh air at the mention that there's a way to return some money into the pot.

"I'll commence the first test," Lana continues.

Chan gets stressed once again and so is everyone. Test means he's not doing great, test means that it's not going to be easy, test means bad.

The worst thing that could happen is his name got called by Lana for that test.

Like he manifested it into reality, Lana does call his name along with yours. He sees you look at him and feels bad that he can't show a brave face to you.

"I gifted you watches as an incentive to connect on a physical level for the right reasons. Yet you have shown a complete disregard for my gift and your fellow guests."

He looks at you and you put on a thin smile for him, he puts his arm around you to pull you closer, he needs something to hold on to.

"Therefore, drastic action is required," Lana sternly says.

CHRIS: I've messed up. Big time. [Deeply exhales]

Deep down, you know you deserve what's coming for you but you don't want to go home, no, not yet.

"You both..." Lana drags her words to heighten the suspense.

You and Chan still have some growing to do as a couple and if Lana is kind enough to let you stay, you'd be very grateful. If not, then... it's not like you didn't see this coming.

You have to own up to your mistakes so whatever happens, you will try to accept it.

"... have 12 hours to prove you can connect on a deeper, more emotional level."

You feel a little lighter knowing that it's not an elimination but it's not time to be relieved yet, you're still waiting for the catch.

"If you fail to get a green light in those 12 hours, your time here will be terminated."

There it is. The catch. This is you and Chan's biggest test yet. There's no wasting time, you have 12 hours to prove or you go home.

"Your time starts now!" Lana announces.

YOU: This is going to be a challenge for us. We've never really talked about our emotions.

It's going to be harder for Chan.

He realizes he rarely talked about his feelings with you. His default setting is to show affection through actions so he is never good at verbalizing it.

"I don't want to go home," you tell him, cuddling on the sofa outside, "I want to spend more time with you."

He holds your hand and puts it close to his chest, "I don't want to go home either but I just—"

He inhales air and finishes his sentence, "It's not easy for me, talking about emotions."

"We can try," you say with your fingers lightly caressing his bare chest.

You tilt your head to face him, "You know what? I'll start," you volunteer.

He puts your hair away from being blown by the wind and holds it there for you, "Yeah?"

"Remember when we first met and I made you tell your name again?"

He nods as the recollection of it plays in the back of his head.

"I pretended not to hear it because I wanted those lips near me," you confess with a giggle.

He can't tell if you're trying to get a green light or just want to make him feel better, either way, he finds it adorable of you.

You check your watch and pout seeing that it's not turning green, "Well, it's worth a try," you say with a laugh.

As he breaks into laughter, he pulls you close and kisses you on the cheek.

"No need to hurry," you playfully say.

You rub his back and place a sweet kiss on his neck, "We still have like ten hours to get a green light."

That only reminds him to hold you tighter, he needs it more now than ever after knowing that he possibly wouldn't be able to do it again.

CHRIS: I find it hard to open up and talk about my feelings. Not sure I can do it.

With time keep slipping out of your hand, and your heart is getting worried.

You give Chan space and time to be on his own, organizing his thoughts and maybe it'll help him find the courage to talk about what he truly feels.

You remind yourself that it'll not be his fault if both of you end up getting eliminated. So you let go of the guilt and prepare yourself for the worst outcomes.

Before he leaves for his workshop, you pull him aside and warmly hug him.

"I really like you, Chris," you murmur.

You look up and softly smile at him, "I care about you."

You don't want to pressure him but you want to let him know that whatever happens, you will have no hard feelings nor hold a grudge against him.

"I know it's tough for you to open up but if you weren't ready, it's okay. If we got sent home, that doesn't mean things between us are over, you know that?" You say with a smile.

"I know," he lowly answers.

You stand on your tiptoes to plant a long kiss on his cheek, "Don't pressure yourself, okay, baby?"

He nods and hugs you back, locking you in his big arms because this might be the last time you embrace each other like this.

YOU: This is more difficult than I thought. At that moment, I think we might be going home.

"That dress looks good on you, darling!" Dani praises you as she watches you checking your appearance on the big mirror in the dressing room.

"Yeah?" You ask yourself why bother looking this good on your last night in the retreat.

"Yes," you suddenly shout.

"I want to look good when I get eliminated," you take a jab at yourself and laugh.

"Nah..." Lola groans, "Don't say that!"

Dani props her chin with her hand and looks at you, "You're going to get that green light tonight," she says.

The boys are back from the workshop not long ago but they're all coming back with paints on their bodies. Chan is still showering and it'll take more time to get dressed.

You're waiting for him by the fire pit, sipping your wine while half-heartedly listening to Pierre, Alicia, and Olivia talking.

As you're sipping on your second glass of wine, Chan comes and holds his hand out at you.

"I believe we have to talk," he says to you.

You put your glass down and take his hand, feeling more nervous now than before.

"I'm rooting for you guys!" Alicia mutters with an encouraging smile.

Chan takes you somewhere quiet and sits on the bench that overlooks the sea with the reflection of the moon drawn on the surface of the water.

There are still three hours left to the time limit but it's never too early to start and try to open up.

"You want me to start again?" You ask because he's been so quiet even after you both get the privacy to talk.

He cracks a laugh and puts an arm around you, "Yeah, sure."

You lick your lips and try to articulate your feelings as best as you can. You look him in the eyes and just pour your heart out to him.

"I like you. I like that I can be myself around you. You understand me, you put up with a lot of shit to be with me..." you pause to let out a laugh, "I'm happy that we became closer."

Chan can't stop smiling as he listens to you speaking your heart out. You can see the fondness in his eyes and you also hope that he gets the sincerity in your words.

"And I think... this is a good chance for us to talk about how we feel about each other," you conclude.

YOU: I can tell him more things that I like about him but sadly, time is not on our side.

It feels great hearing what you thought about him but at the same time, Chan feels burdened to be as open as you.

He's aware of how much you've shared with him while he gave you so little in return. He owes you a lot and it's time for him to settle that debt.

"You look gorgeous," he starts with a compliment.

You reach for the collar of the baby blue linen shirt he's wearing and compliment him back, "So do you."

You rest your hand flat on his chest and dreamily sigh, "You look good in colors other than black and white, you know that?"

He grins at that and nods, "I'll wear more colors."

"Okay, good," you say with gentle pats on his chest.

It's not time for small talk, time is running out. Chan grits his teeth and starts talking, trying to empty his heart through words.

"I'll be honest with you," he begins.

He sees you swallow air and nods, "Okay."

"I haven't completely opened myself up to you."

"Mm-mmh," you hum in response.

He takes your hand and holds it tightly in his hand, "The last relationship I had..." he refrains from sharing too many details on his past.

"From that relationship, I got myself a trust issue out of it, and as much as I like you, it's hard for me to trust you. I got haunted by my experience with trusting someone with my heart..." Chan takes a moment to collect himself and not lose it completely to his emotions.

"I didn't think that I'd get here and find someone like you in here," he says with a low laugh.

You lowly laugh along with him, "Yeah."

"I feel extremely lucky to find you and I realize now that it's not fair that I compare you with my former partner. She might have caused me a trust issue but that doesn't mean you'll do the same to me," he says.

A smile blooms on your face and he feels your hand in shaking in his hold.

"I genuinely am feeling stronger emotions for you which I haven't felt in a long time," he earnestly says with a sincere smile.

His heart feels so much lighter and emptier now, that only means he has more space for these new feelings he has for you.

Chan's heart is full of warm feelings and other than that, it fills with hopes.

CHRIS: It's been such a long time since I've opened up like this with anyone but it feels so natural with her.

"I like you so much," Chan says while squeezing your hand in his.

It feels good to know that your feelings are reciprocated. You've been tormented inside and you keep it bottled up inside you, now you can let it go.

"I'm so excited for us," he adds with a smile.

Then the chime comes and you glance at your watch to see that it turns green.

You both did it and you didn't mean to cry but your eyes are like bursting dams right now, tears are flowing down your face. He immediately pulls you into a hug.

"I wasn't ready to go home yet," you croak with tears caught in your throat.

"Me too," he says.

He holds you for a moment and whispers into your ear, "Are we going to kiss or what?"

You completely forgot that the rules do not apply and you're allowed to kiss him. You hurriedly wipe the tears on your face with the back of your hands.

Chan doesn't hesitate to kiss you when you believe you look ugly from crying. He leans in and kisses you softly, brushing his lips as if he were telling you how you feel with it.

Your heart is heavy and quivering as it carries so much love inside you. You like him so much and it feels so good, it's so good that it's scary.

When he pulls away from the kiss, Chan holds your face and looks at you, tenderly wiping your eyes with his knuckle.

He's softly laughing as he says, "I can see now that you're just a baby."

He caresses your wet cheeks with his thumb as he fondly looks into your eyes, "just a baby, my baby," he says.

You pout yet smile at his words. There's no use to deny it when he can see everything now.

"My baby girl," he delightfully sighs and presses a long peck on your lips.

Sure you feel relieved you get to stay in the retreat but the best thing about all this is getting to know each other better, emotionally.

"Good job," you tell him with a smile.

"Good job," he says back to you.

YOU: Watching Chris open up and comfortably share his feelings makes me feel like I can understand him now. Also, it makes me fancy him more and more [smiles]

Chan didn’t expect everyone to wait for them to come back from their talk.

The resentment they have is nothing compared to the friendship they have sewn in time with both you and him. They look at him in anticipation of whether he passed the test or not. They're tucked in their beds and watch him as he walks to his bed with you trailing behind him.

"So...?" Pierre asks.

Chan can't contain his excitement anymore, he grins and says, "We got the green light!"

Everyone cheers for him and you, clapping with pride. Jace hurls a cushion at Chan as he shouts, "Congrats, Aussie boy!"

Alicia comes to his bed to hug you, "I told you. I'm rooting for you!"

Dani hugs her pillow in front of her and asks, "So, did anyone say anything?" She asks in curiosity.

"She told me she likes me," Chan answers without the slightest of embarrassed saying it out loud.

"Did you say it back to her?" Pierre asks.

"Of course!" He shortly replies.

You lay on your stomach on the bed, facing everyone, "It was really hard to begin with but he opened up to me."

"Aww..." Lola coo in response then lightly applauds for you.

"At least we don't have to worry about them rulebreaking now," Luke comments.

"Because there's no money to spend to begin with," Pierre adds.

Everyone is laughing the shared pain away. But with the promise that Lana will return some money through tests and you both passed one tonight, everyone gets hopeful again.

CHRIS: I'm so glad we're making progress. I'm so proud of her and me. We both got so far [smiles]

It's like you both got a fresh start at a new life.

Even with zero dollars on the prize fund, you feel happy to get to spend more time with him in the retreat. Yesterday was a torture and that only reminds you to use the time wisely.

But it's not like you can't keep yourself away from him you're smitten, you have butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

After last night, you talk about things deeply and openly, you talk more about your future together that it gets you giddy

You're straddling him on the bed and hovering above him, putting a safe space between your faces. You admire his beautiful face, trailing your fingers on his facial features, eyes, nose, and plush lips that lure you to kiss.

"Now that I'll be coming with you to Australia, where will you take me first?" You ask out of curiosity.

Chan has been resting his hands on your thighs and not letting them go anywhere. He looks up at you and answers, "My home."

You're giggling because your dirty mind can only think of one thing, "So we can—"

"I'll introduce you to my family," he slices through your sentence and takes you aback.

This seems that serious to him and you usually choose to step back when things get this serious, however, you're feeling excited about it instead.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I want them to know about our relationship," he casually says.

"Ooo... relationship," you point out the thing he just said and wonder if it accidentally slipped out of his mouth or he meant it. You bet it's the latter from how he gets so flustered and laughs at it.

"Why? Do you have anything else in mind?" He asks with a sly smile.

You look away from his eyes as he catches on your dirty thought, "You know what I'm thinking."

He sits up on the bed so he can hold you and you wrap your arms around his neck, "Well, before we do all that, I'll lock you in my room and we'll have lots of sex," he murmurs, then places a hot kiss on your neck.

You lowly moan at how his soft lips feel on your skin, sending a tingle down your spine.

"Oh, you have no idea what's coming for you," he seductively whispers with his breath tickling your ear.

He then switches to the other side of your neck and places a longer kiss with his tongue lightly licking the skin, leaving a wet kiss mark on it.

The emotional connection only heightens the sexual tension between you and him yet it feels like you've reached a new level in your relationship.

YOU: It's HARD! I like him so much therefore it's getting harder to resist him.

"Whoa, whoa, what am I walking into," Pierre says as he busted you straddling him on the bed.

Without getting up from his bed, Chan calmly responds with a joke, "There's no harm in losing more money."

"Damn right," Pierre replies with a laugh.

With someone else in the room, the tension is slowly fading out and you get off his lap, sitting next to him instead.

Chan notices that Pierre is smiling at himself and he knows that there must be something.

"What's up?" He asks while putting his arm out so you can rest your head on it.

"Alicia and I are going on a date later," Pierre replies.

"Oh, wow, that's great, man!" Chan offers his hand for a fist bump.

"I'm excited for you, Pierre!" You add with a gleeful smile.

But instead of bumping his fist at him, Pierre collapses onto his bed. It's the first time Chan sees him being this nervous, "Why are you so nervous?"

You're giggling next to him, "You've been sharing a bed with Alicia for so long," you add.

Pierre groans and holds his head with both hands, "Ugh... I don't know."

"Just do you, enjoy it, man," Chan suggests.

Pierre sits on the bed again now, "Yeah, you're right."

He gives Chan his fist bump now then gets up from the bed, "I have to get ready for the date now. See ya!"

"Good luck!" You shout at him before he gets out of the door.

It must be nice to get on a date with you but Chan understands that he has to earn it here. He looks at you and he can see that you're wishing for the same thing.

"We'll get our time," he tells you.

"Yeah," you reply with a smile.

"Come here! Hug me, baby girl!" He pulls you into a tight hug and flips over so you're under him now.

"I want to kiss you," he says as he looks at you.

You put your hand on his lips and glance at it, "We can't. We have to be good."

It's like the roles are reversed now. It's him playing the bad guy now and you're playing the good girl now.

"You're right," he says, he chooses to bury his head in your neck instead.

CHRIS: Lana, we’ve been good so please get us on a date too!

Lana throws a party tonight.

You're tired of guessing what she's trying to celebrate and if she has something behind it. The worst has happened, you want to enjoy tonight.

"What are you wearing tonight?" Chan asks while you're drying your hair.

"Uhm... nothing," you mindlessly answer.

He puts his arm around your neck and playfully puts you in a chokehold, making you laugh in response. He then nuzzles his nose into your hair and asks again, "I want to match my clothes with you."

"Aww... that's so cute, Chris!" Lola comments from the other end of the vanity table while putting make-up on her eyes.

You turn your head around and jokingly say, "Then... wear nothing."

He wraps his hand around your neck and tilts your head to the side so he can bite on your shoulder, "Just tell me what color!"

You're laughing as you try to get his hand away from you but he keeps ticking your neck with his nose. In the end, you both settle with his favorite color, black.

You're fixing the straps of your dress while looking at the mirror in the bathroom and Chan is leaning against the sink, running his eyes up and down your body.

"You're so gorgeous," he compliments with a grin and those cute dimples.

He bites his fist when you check the back of your dress in the mirror by turning your body to the side.

"Gosh, I'm the luckiest," he sighs.

You get flustered and say, "Stop it!"

Pulling him close, you turn him around and make him look at both of your reflections in the mirror. Not going to lie, you like what you see.

You turn to look at him and then say, "Damn! We look good!"

He looks back at you and smiles, "We look good together."

Without warning, he puts his arms around you and carries you out of the bathroom.

The party had just started when Pierre and Alicia were coming back from their date. Everyone is being nosy with their questions yet you can't help to get nosy as well.

"Tell us everything!" Lola demands.

From the look of it, Pierre and Alicia look happy and it makes you just as happy for them, everyone seems to feel the same way as well.

"It was nice. We went on a boat and enjoyed the sunset," Pierre says.

Alicia nods along to his words, "Then there was a funny question at the end," she says, then leers at Pierre.

Pierre cracks a laugh before answering, "I asked her to be my girlfriend."

Dani, being the one invested in the story, impatiently asks, "What did you say, Alicia?"

Alicia leers at Pierre again and smiles, "I said yes."

It's like watching a sports game and the home team scores, sending everyone into a celebration. Glasses of drinks raised to the air for a toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" Jace leads the toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" The rest repeat after him and take a sip of their drinks.

YOU: Well, unlike us... [chuckles] Pierre and Alicia are the most committed couple in the retreat so I couldn't be happier for them.

Instead of being jealous, Chan is happy for Pierre and Alicia.

He's happy to see his closest friend in the retreat happy and it's not like Chan is not happy, he is happy with you. He looks around and they're just as happy even though the prize fund is still at zero.

He holds you close and kisses the top of your head, "I'm so happy."

"Me too," you murmur with your head resting on his chest.

The music abruptly stops and Chan kind of guesses what comes next. There she is, the ultimate cockblocker and party crasher Lana.

Everyone already knows where to go and they drag their feet to head to the cabana. You sit next to Chan, putting one hand around his waist and the other clasped with him, resting it on his leg.

The money is at zero now but that doesn't make everyone less nervous, if anything, there's an anticipation for what Lana is going to announce this time.

Chan's heart skips a beat the second the cone lights up, signifying her arrival. She skips on greeting everyone and calls for both of your names.

You look at each other to exchange a mix of panicked and confused looks.

"On your previous test, you were able to access your true feelings for each other, proving to me that your connection is more than skin deep," Lana says.

That's good news and the applause everyone is giving toward both of you confirmed it.

"However, actions speak louder than words."

Chan hates it when that word comes in the sentence: 'however' because that means, Lana has bad news to tell.

"Tonight, you will both be put to the ultimate test, a night in the private suite."

Remembering that you both failed on the same test and knowing you both have to go through it again. Chan feels the pressure already and he sees you wince in response to that.

"If you refrain from breaking any rules, you will win back $100,000 for the group."

Everyone is cheering at the amount of money you can win back from it but your last failure reminds them not to haste to celebrate.

Chan notices a few pessimistic faces among the group and he understands that. But he knows that it's time he pays everyone back for the damages he did to the prize money.

"We'll try to win back the money for you guys," Chan earnestly says with you nodding along in agreement to his words.

"Please, make your way to the suite!" Lana orders.

He offers his hand to help you get up from the sofa and keeps holding your hand.

Jace nods at Chan to encourage him, "Don't mess up, 'kay? You got it!"

"Wish us luck!" You say to everyone for the last time.

CHRIS: This is it. This is the big, ultimate test.

The second you both enter the private suite, you throw yourself at him.

Thank goodness that he is quick to catch you and steadily holds you against him to keep you from falling. You loop your both hands around his neck and warmly hug him.

You pull away to look at his face, "We can do it," you murmur with a soft kiss on his cheek.

He returns the kiss but his lips land on your jaw instead, "for that to happen, we shouldn't have a bath."

You pout at him and say, "But I still need to have a bath. I'm dirty."

"You are dirty," he says with a sly smile.

You narrow your eyes at him and put your forehead against his, "Are you dirty?"

It's like a deja vu watching you get undressed in front of him, doing it so confidently like he isn't there and looking at your enticing body with dark, lustful eyes.

"You can join me or..." you nonchalantly say as you step into the tub.

"You can just watch," you continue as you lower yourself into the water, flashing him a naughty smile as you lean back in the tub.

Chan has seen and experienced this scene before but he doesn't like how it ended. This is why it's called a test, see if he can take it and come up with a better result than before.

"Atta, boy!" You exclaim as he starts to take his clothes off.

You intently watch him taking every piece of clothing on his body until there's none left. Your eyebrow raises as your eyes flick down there.

"Hi, there," you playfully talk to his semi-hard member.

Everything about you evokes the rebellious side of him, he just wants to do whatever he wants and pleases. He reminds himself that he needs to control himself and the money that he can win back from doing it.

With one foot down in the tub, Chan can already feel the heat of the moment.

CHRIS: When it's just the two of us the sexual tension goes...[Sighs] It's high!

Jumping onto the bed, you crawl over to get something from the tray of sex toys on the bedside table.

You know which one you want to get and take it with you as Chan dives onto the bed next to you. You waste no time straddling him, "Put your hands above your head!"

He ignores your order and laughs at you instead. He chooses to disobey you so you take both his hands and put them above his head, you cuff them with handcuffs.

"I'm sorry," you tell him with no hint of regrets whatsoever in your apology.

You look at him and smile in satisfaction that he's laying helpless underneath you.

"You've been very, very bad, Chris," you say in a low, sultry voice and run your fingertips down his bare chest.

He takes a deep breath and looks back at you, "I've been bad, so?" He dares you with a smirk.

As expected, he will disobey you and dare you to do things to him. He's enjoying it and you're more than willing to play along.

You crawl over to the side and use the opportunity to bring your ass close to his face while you take another sex toy from the tray.

You sit down on his crotch, intentionally hard, and enjoy the low groan he lets out. You show him the long, leather whip in your hand.

You put the end of the whip under his chin and used it to tilt his head to look at you, "Do you admit to being a bad, bad boy?"

Instead of answering, he bites his lips and fiercely looks at you. Taking him off guard, you slap his chest with the whip.

"Answer me!" You order.

He slyly smiles and refuses to answer again. You start to slap his chest and abdomen with the whip, making heart-shaped marks on his pale skin.

You decide to get off him and lay on your side next to him, "I'm going to keep doing it until you answer me," you taunt him as you drag the end of the whip down his thigh.

You lean into the side of his face and lowly whisper into his ear, "Answer me, Chris."

He shakes his head and you immediately land a slap on his inner thigh twice that he gasps in response. Feeling mischievous, you slip the whip under his boxer and rub him there.

"Will you answer me now, mmh?" You ask.

He catches you off guard now, rolling on the bed and putting his body on top of you. He buries his head deep in your neck while kissing you there.

"Oh..." you breathlessly moan as he bites on your neck.

Chan is always afraid to put his whole weight on you but you don't want to have it another way, so you put your legs around him and let him collapse on top of you.

He looks at you but his eyes are centered on your lips, "Do you want to kiss me, mmh?"

He alternates it by placing kisses along your jaw and finishes it with a sweet kiss on your cheek, "Actually, there are a lot more things I want to do to you."

YOU: Our prize fund is zero so that means there's no money to lose... [bites lips]

Chan keeps his handcuffed hands in front of him as you unlock it for him. He puts it back on the bedside table and sees you still straddling him.

He pats the space next to him, "Come here so we can cuddle!"

You shake your head and put your hands on his chest, "No, I like it here. I like sitting on top of you," you say with your eyes enchanting him to gaze back at them.

He puts his hands on your thighs, fingers teasing the hem of the short sleeping dress you're wearing, "Is this your favorite position?"

"Uh-huh," you answer and put your hands to hold your hair in a makeshift ponytail.

"You want to be on top, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm good when I'm on the top," you tell him with your head slightly tilted to the side and your lips curl into a naughty smile.

"Is that true?" He asks, allowing his hands to move up to your waist and hold you there.

"I can show it to you," you dare him.

Seeing you straddling him like this only gives him the glimpses of what you'd like fucking him and he bet it'd be so good. Swear his cock twitched just now from remembering how good it is inside you.

Now you're sitting on his crotch and there's only a layer of clothing that separates him from what he wants, he believes you can feel how his cock is achingly hard for you.

"Maybe next time," he kindly refuses no matter how much his body wants to scream yes.

"Why not now?" You ask with a low giggle.

You make it so hard for him that he has to lift you off him and lay you down next to him. Without giving you time to escape, he puts his arms and legs around you, limiting the things you can do around him.

"Stop teasing me," he presses a wet, long kiss on your cheek.

You helplessly try to get out of his hold while giggling but failing.

"Baby," you softly call.

You hold his chin in your fingers and turn your head at him, "I want to sleep naked tonight."

CHRIS: The longer they let us alone together, the more I want to do things to her [raises eyebrow]

Even after the morning comes, it doesn't mean that the test has been done yet.

Somehow, you wake up naked and find yourself snuggling to Chan who's just as naked. You don't want to force your brain to work just yet.

It seems like he's awake already as he puts his hand on your back and runs his fingers down your back, light and fluttering, lulling you back to sleep.

Realizing that the test is not over yet, he gets away from you only so he can lay next to you and easily places kisses on your bare back.

You delightfully hum every time his full lips make contact with your skin, warm and soft, making you tingle inside.

"You're so beautiful," he hums.

He then starts another trail of kisses from the nape of your neck and down your spine. He stops before he gets tempted to go lower than your waist.

"So soft, so beautiful..." he sighs with so much frustration as if he saw something he couldn't perceive.

Chan decides to prop both hands on each side of you and kisses your neck as he's hovering above you, waking you up with sweet, gentle kisses.

"Wake up, baby," he softly calls you.

Wanting more than just kisses, you pull him close so you can feel him whole, his body on your body, skin-to-skin. It feels rather more intimate than sex.

He puts all of your hair away to the side so he can pepper your shoulder with kisses, "Morning," he says in between kisses.

You smile with eyes closed and croak, "Morning."

There's not much time left in the private suite and you both have to face everyone soon.

"How are we going to tell them?" You meekly ask him, feeling the anxiety already.

He gently caresses your cheek with his knuckle, "I'll do the talking," he simply answers.

You overlap his body with yours and put your arm across his chest, "Can't we just stay here?" You innocently ask with a low laugh.

"We can stay a little longer," he consoles you with a kiss on your forehead.

As much as you want to stay, it's time to face the truth once more.

YOU: Last night was... special. The best night I ever had in the retreat. [smiles]

While holding Chan's hand, you wake slow walk on the way back to the villa, and meet everyone in the bedroom.

Everyone is looking a bit antsy even though they're still in their beds. They stop talking once they notice you're back from the private suite but they seem to be scared to ask the important question.

Chan gestures to you to sit on the sofa instead of on the bed next to the table where Lana is sitting still so prettily.

Before Chan can open his mouth and speak, Lana gets ahead of him, chiming on the table next to you.

"Last night, you faced your ultimate test," Lana skips the morning greeting and goes straight into business.

"As a couple, if you could refrain from breaking any retreat rules, the prize fund will be increased from $0 to $100,000."

You grimace at that because anything could happen at this point.

"However..."

Lola gasps at the mention of that word and hides behind the duvet. It's your turn to gasp as Lana calls your name.

"Even though you were successful in sexually arousing Chris, he was able to hold firm and respect the rules of my retreat."

Applause and cheers erupt from every corner of the room. You hate that Lana exposed you for what you did in the private suite but it won't stop you from celebrating as well.

"Which means that the prize fund now stands at $100,000," Lana updates.

More cheers and whistles are coming from everyone at the announcement that you both gained half of the total prize money back.

"I am so proud of you, babe!" Dani says to you.

You blow her a kiss as a token of gratitude and look at Chan, he's looking as proud as you are.

"This is what I call growth," Pierre comments with a smile.

"Yeah, that's true," Lola agrees.

Everyone gets quiet as Lana continues talking, "As a reward for showing restraint and putting the interest of the group above your own, you will be going on a date."

You turn to look at Chan and smile, feeling so proud of both of you. You look around the room and ask, "Can I hug him, now?"

They are all laughing before answering, "Yes."

You walk up to Chan and he welcomes you into his arms, holding you so tight while lifting you off your feet.

It feels good to do good and get rewarded for it, you lean close to murmur, "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm so proud of us," he says back with a kiss on your cheek.

YOU: The last few days have been so hard for us so I think we deserve this date and I'm just so excited [grins]

To be honest, Chan is nervous.

Yes, he's happy and excited for the date. What he's worrying so much about is the talk he'll be having with you and he wants to make sure that he gets his emotions across.

It's important that you know his feelings for you.

His face lights up as you walk toward him, he helps you board the boat to get to the other small island where the date will be.

"Gorgeous," he sweet compliments as he brushes your hair and tucks it behind your ear.

"Thank you, baby," you mutter and take his hand to hold it.

The two of you take a short walk to where the date has been prepared, a cute little picnic with a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice which Chan can easily pop open.

"Mmh... My man is so strong," you playfully praise him.

You take one of the champagne flutes so he can fill it for you, "What are toasting to?"

He thinks for a moment, "Mmh... for passing the ultimate test?"

You chuckle and nod in agreement, "For passing the ultimate test!"

You both clink your glasses together and take a sip of the bubbly wine.

CHRIS: We both know that we have a strong physical chemistry between us but I need to know if we have a strong connection as well. I want this to last.

The sun is slowly sinking into the horizon, painting the sky with stunning bursts of flaming gold colors.

Even Chan is here, in one of the most beautiful places he's ever been, he thinks that what makes it so special is because he's with you.

"Have you realized that it's been me and you since day one?" Chan asks.

You fix your hair and prop one hand next to you, "Yeah," you answer while nodding.

"We've been going through such... a long journey," he says, emphasizing how rough it has been for the two of you.

You nod again and softly laugh, "You know, with other people, I would push them away and keep moving forward. I never once in my life thought I would find 'that someone'."

This is why he's comfortable around you. He shares a piece and you share one piece of you too, it's never going one way with you. Everything is fair and he thinks this is what good communication is.

"As you know, the last relationship I had... it was ugly but in here, in this retreat, I learned how to confront my emotions and open up to someone," Chan shares his piece of him with you.

You're looking at him with eyes that match the soft smile on your face while tucking away the hair getting blown by the wind.

"Also, this retreat helps me put things into perspective," he continues, "I'm able to show sides of myself that I didn't know I had."

You take a sip of your drink and nod again, "Just like I said when people get into my space, I'd normally push them away."

You put your drink away before continuing, "But the fact that I met someone that I like... that makes me feel emotional and vulnerable."

Chan would be lying to say your words aren't making him feel the slightest bit emotional as well. He can feel the sincerity in your words, they are pure and heartfelt.

"I wonder if we're compatible moving forward in the outside world," you finish.

He takes your hand and holds it in the space between you and him. He then clears his throat before speaking.

"Now it's time where I can tell you and it would be wrong for me not to say this..."

His heart hurts as every bit of emotion is getting squeezed out of him into words but he wants to tell you everything, baring it out for you so you know his true feelings for you.

He looks into your eyes, it gives him the confidence to go on and say, "I genuinely do love you."

You close your eyes and break into laughter, it's not the reaction he hoped for but he waits for you to say something.

"I can't believe I came here and fell in love..." you say with a sheepish laugh.

You stare into his eyes and squeeze his hand as you say, "I love you too."

It feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off his chest. He thought he would be bound and confined the moment those words were out of his mouth, instead of that, Chan feels like he's been set free.

CHRIS: When I arrived here, I didn't mean to meet a girl and tell her I love her. I'm a changed man and it's because of her [smiles]

Seeing him happy makes you happy.

The happiness only doubled knowing that the feelings go both ways. Never in a million years have you ever thought you would be falling in love with a guy like him.

Chan is a gentleman, he's kind and sweet, he's very thoughtful and caring, and he has everything that you're not looking for in a man.

But he changed you and made you realize that you deserve a better man. Meeting him and being with him is a blessing like a star falls right onto your lap.

"I always told myself I'm better single and do my things, but with you, I feel safe, comfortable, and powerful at the same time," you let your thoughts out loud to him.

You swallow air to not let the tears get in the way of you speaking your heart out to him, "The best thing is, with you, I feel more reassured and that's something that rarely happens."

The way he's looking at you now is the most beautiful view you've ever seen and you want to imprint it in the back of your head. You also want to bottle this precious moment so you can treasure it for life.

Chan has been quiet for a moment then he lets out a sigh, "I feel like I've won the lottery," he says.

This has been a long journey but you're grateful that you come out of it together, stronger and on top of that, in love more than ever.

Both of your watches chime at the same time and you glance to confirm that it's green.

"Oh?!" You look at him with a surprised face.

Chan smiles and crawls over to you, "Thank you, Lana!" He shouts.

The kiss feels special and it's ultimately because this kiss marks the beginning of your relationship, the first one of many, and hopefully, the start of a long-lasting relationship.

YOU: I'm the... [squeals] I'm the happiest girl in the world [gleefully smiles]

Everyone else is already sleeping when the two of you decide to sneak out to have one final swimming lesson.

Again, it's not a lesson and you both promise to not spend any money. You're doing it as tonight is the last night of the retreat.

Nothing is going to change even when the show is over but it doesn't stop you from feeling sentimental about it.

"It's going to be weird not waking up next to you," you sadly say as Chan hugs you from the back.

He rests his head on your shoulder with his hands wrapped around your waist, "You'll be coming home with me, remember?"

You nod but what you actually meant is how the outside world would be different than here. We have the stupid rules here but everything is much simpler and happier here, you're afraid of losing it all once you step out of this retreat.

"I'm just glad we won back the money," you say, shifting it to a much brighter topic.

"Or else we wouldn't have money for our flights home," Chan jokes.

Your shared waves of laughter are making ripples on the surface of the pool water.

"Who is going to win the money though?" You ask in genuine curiosity.

Chan shrugs in response to your question, "Definitely not us," he says.

Considering that the two of you are the big spenders in the retreat, you wouldn't even dare to think that there's the possibility of winning the prize money too.

To be able to come home with a man you are deeply in love with is already a big win for you.

YOU: I don't care about the money. I got what I want, I got my man [smiles]

"Good morning, friends!" Lola cheerily greets everyone the second the lights turned on.

Staying up until late last night causing him to feel sleepy, he keeps sleeping with his head buried in the pillow. He can feel you slipping your hands around him to spoon him from behind.

"Morning, Channie baby," you softly call him by his Korean name.

He told you about it last night, the name only his family and his close friends are allowed to call him with that name.

You are, of course, more than allowed to call him that. It feels strange to hear it at first but he likes the sound of it, especially the affectionate tone you're using.

He takes your hand and kisses it, putting it close to his chest as he tries to get a few more minutes of sleep. The sound of the melodic chime is enough to make him refrain from going back to sleep.

"Good morning, everyone!" Lana greets, sounding exceptionally kind even though she speaks in the same robotic voice.

"Morning, Lana darling!" Claire replies with a cracked voice.

"Welcome to the last day of the retreat," she announces.

Everyone sadly groans which is quite shocking compared to the first day of the retreat, now everyone is not wanting to leave.

His head snaps at you and it reminds him to soak up every minute left in this retreat with you.

"I will be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana further announces.

Everyone's ears perk up at the announcement, finalists in 'plural', which means there is more than one candidate to win the prize money.

Everyone else is secretly guessing who's going to win it but with his bad record, Chan chooses to sit back and wishes everyone the best of luck.

"It's the last day!" Luke remarks, still in disbelief of it.

"Let's make it the best one!" Dani adds as she yawns into her hand.

"And let's spend the whole money today," Chan jokes even though he's slurring his words.

"Funny, Aussie boy!" Jace says as he tosses a cushion at him.

CHRIS: I fully trust that Lana will choose the right person to win the money and I'm okay that I'm not it, Lana, I have no hard feelings [laughs]

"It's the last day so I'm going to wear the tiniest bikini."

Chan hears what you're saying since he's in the dressing room to take something out of his closet.

"Oh my, Gosh!" He responds to what you're saying.

You're chuckling and look at him as he stands across the room, "I'm putting another test on you."

He walks over to your chair and puts his hand around your neck, that way he can angle your head as he pleases. He attacks one side of your face with small kisses.

"Stop being so cute," Claire says as she hollowed her cheeks to apply some colors to them.

"Yeah, stop it before you spend some money," Alicia playfully adds.

Chan lets you go because he needs to go to the bathroom to style his hair, he finds Jace in there, putting his long blond hair into a small bun.

"Who do you think is going to win?" He asks.

It's the third time someone asked him the same question and he'll remain diplomatic about his answer, "Whoever wins I'll be happy for them."

Jace respects his answer and does not further press him to give a name but Chan gets curious about his answer.

"Who do you think?" He turns the table to him.

Jace sits on the edge of the tub and watches as Chan combs his hair in front of the mirror on the sink.

"I think it's you, Aussie boy."

Chan snorts in response, he figures that Jace wants to entertain him with his answer.

"Hey, the one who made a lot of mistakes is the one that is most improved," he defends his answer, proving that he's actually serious about his answer.

"Yeah, nah, I don't think it's me, mate," he refuses his answer to entertain the idea that he has a chance to win it.

"That's just my opinion," Jace says with a nonchalant shrug.

CHRIS: If it were up to me, I think everybody would win here but it's not, it's up to Lana. [Shrugs]

It's the time in the cabana again.

You're sad that it's going to be over soon but God! You're so glad that soon you'll not be hearing that melodic chime again. It's like hearing a soundtrack to a horror movie.

"Hello, everyone!"

"Hey, Lana," you reply, suppressing your anxious groan coming out of your mouth.

"I have been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," Lana informs.

You can't tell what everyone is feeling right now, it's a mix of anticipation, anxiety or relief, sadness or happiness, everything is there.

"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development."

You wince at the mention of the word 'was' and it brings back your not-so-finest moments in your head.

"The prize fund stands at $100,000."

"Whoo!" Lola whoops, "That's a lot of money, baby!"

"And it was very hard to gain," Chan playfully comments, sending everyone into laughter.

"Like literally," he adds.

You cover his mouth with your hand to stop him from embarrassing himself more and let Lana continue.

"There are three places in the final."

Now everyone is assessing each other for their possibilities to win the money. You're definitely not going to make the cut with how much you spent in the retreat.

YOU: It's clearly not going to be us. We're the antagonists in this show [chuckles]

"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown personal growth during their time at the retreat."

Oh, wait? Personal growth?

If we're talking about personal growth, everyone can see how much Chan has grown since the first day of the retreat. People would think that it's a biased opinion but you believe that Lana sees it, or you hope so.

"The first finalist is..."

You're secretly praying that Chan's name gets called, it's not much about winning, he deserves to be in the final with the journey he's been through in this retreat.

"Pierre and Alicia."

It's kind of expected and everyone is clapping for them because they deserve it. You watch as they're hugging each other and looking so cute it makes you cooing adorably.

"The second finalist is..."

You continue to pray in your heart for one name to be called by Lana, you even have your hands clasped together and close your eyes as you deeply wish for it.

"Jace and Lola."

Again, everyone is clapping because they're genuinely made for each other, they complement each other in a way like no other.

"The third and final finalist is..."

For the last time, you wish and pray as hard as you can in your heart. You never wished for something this badly so for the first time in your life, please let—

"Chris."

Your mouth hangs open in response while he pulls you into a hug. You're at a loss for words for a moment until he pulls away from the hug.

You get teary as you see him standing up to take his place on the final, feeling so proud of him and the man he has become.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, one of you will walk away with $100,000."

Chan offers his hand at you so you can hold it while he's standing up in front of you. You can't fight the tears that are already pooling in your eyes.

"And the decision will be made by the remaining guests."

"Oh, my God!" You quietly gasp while dabbing the tears in the corner of your eyes.

"Will the shortlisted guests please leave the cabana while the voting takes place," Lana orders.

Chan bends down to hug you since he has to leave. He presses a long kiss on your cheek and caresses your cheek, "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

You nod with a smile, "Okay."

YOU: Oh, I don't care if people think that I am being biased but I saw his growth, every day in this retreat. My vote is going to Chris.

The dressing room is crowded because everyone is getting ready for the last party in the retreat. Everyone is wearing white per the dress code announced by the staff.

Chan pulls you to the bedroom to have some alone time before he gets to be separated from you because the finalists have their special entrance to the party.

He sits down at the end of the shared bed and then pulls you down onto his lap.

"I can't believe that I'm one of the finalists, it's... mad!" He says in disbelief.

You put your hands around his neck and look at him, "You deserve it, baby."

He takes a deep breath as though he was swimming in deep water. He then runs his hand in your hair and affectionately brushes your hair.

"Whatever happens, I'm happy, I'm winning," he says.

You nod.

"I'm going home with a girlfriend," he shyly says with his dimpled smile.

That gets you flustered as well and it seems like it has just sunk in you that you're dating him now, "oh, shoot, I have a boyfriend now," you say with a shocked laugh.

He hugs you as you both laugh at the sudden realization, he buries his head in your neck to drink in the scent that gives him a sense of comfort.

He allows his hands to trace down your sides and adores every curve of it, "Mmh... You look stunning tonight," he praises.

"Spin for me," he demands.

You get off his lap and elegantly raise your hands above your waist before spinning around on your feet to show him the whole look.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"Oh, love it!" He answers with a dramatic, overwhelmed eye roll.

You sit on his lap again and let him rest his head on your chest, on the soft mounds of your clothed breasts. There are only hours left until the retreat ends but his hands are already getting impatient as they're teasing the zipper of your dress.

"Can't wait to take this off of you tonight," he murmurs with his lips grazing your cleavage as he speaks.

You're lowly humming in response and cradle his head close to your chest, "Anything you want," you tell him.

Those words are sending his mind wandering off and away from his head. He's not thinking about the money at all, all he can think about are the things he wants to do to you.

"You can do anything you want later," you say again with your fingers softly scratching the back of his hair.

"Now that's a real prize," he says with an enthusiastic smile.

CHRIS: Winning or not, I'm leaving in love [smiles]

You sit next to Claire and Nick as the rest of the guests are waiting for the finalists to come and join the party.

"It's sad, isn't it?" Dani says with a sad smile from the other bench.

"It's coming to an end, yeah," Claire shares with a pout.

You've been meaning to not feel sentimental about it but now everyone is feeling the same way, you can't help but have your say about it.

"It's bittersweet, you guys," you say.

Everyone is nodding in agreement and Luke initiates a toast to start the last party in the retreat. The talk continues with everyone sharing their memories here, happy, sad, or funny ones, also everything in between.

Mac has to abruptly stop talking as the finalists are about to enter.

A round of applause welcomes all five of them. First is Pierre and Alicia, and following behind them are Jace and Lola. Last but not least is your number one man, Chan.

You scoot on the bench to make space for Chan to sit on and welcome him with a hug.

"Missed you," you murmur even though you have only been separated from each other for less than an hour.

He caressingly kisses your cheek and puts his arm around you, you reckon he needs the comfort from how nervous he looks right now.

"Got all my fingers crossed for you," you whisper to him.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh!" You answer without a beat and grin at him.

You hold his face by the jaw and place a kiss right on his dimple, hurriedly wiping the lipstick mark with your thumb after.

The melodic chime comes from the cone and it's going to be the last you hear of her, Lana.

"During your time at the retreat, I have observed you all commit to the process, acknowledge your failures, and show significant change."

You nod and smile, "Thank you, Lana!" You sincerely say from the bottom of your heart.

"The time has now come to announce the winner of the $100,000 prize."

You put your heads together and hold each other's hands on his lap, letting go of everything all at once, and no matter what happens, you are happy with each other.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, please stand!" Lana orders.

YOU: At the end of the day, I'm leaving as a changed person and I'm in a relationship with a man I love. And that's something I have never imagined in a million years. [Brightly smiles]

Chan isn't that optimistic he would win the money.

Yet he feels so nervous Chan has to take a deep breath before getting up from his seat without letting go of your hand.

"You got it, baby," you mutter to him with a squeeze on his hand.

He peers over his shoulder to look at you and flashes you a grateful smile.

"Your fellow retreat guests have voted," Lana continues with the announcement.

Chan looks at the other finalists, at Jace and Lola, and the other way, at Pierre and Alicia. He never thought he would be considered as one of the finalists, he's still in denial about it.

"The person in third place is..."

His heart is beating faster and faster he starts to wonder if he's going to have a cardiac arrest.

"Jace and Lola," Lana announces.

Chan's head snaps in the direction of Jace and Lola who are embracing and congratulating each other despite they do not win the money.

CHRIS: I'm on the top two... [deeply inhales] not expecting this at all. If I win, it wouldn't be my own because she played a big part in my growth in the retreat.

Lana doesn't give him time to relax as she continues to the next announcement.

"Pierre and Alicia, Chris, one of you has been chosen to check out of the retreat with the prize fund."

He squeezes your hand in his hand hard enough that his knuckles turn white. He needs it, he needs something to hold on to.

"The winner who will be leaving with $100,000 is..."

Who doesn't want that much money? But honestly, it's not going to be a loss if he didn't win it. It's been one hell of a journey and an emotional one, he made friendships and experiences of a lifetime here.

"Pierre and Alicia."

He did end up not winning the money but he doesn't feel like losing at all. He's reeling from it and only aware of himself when you hug him so tightly.

CHRIS: Couldn't be happier for Pierre and Alicia.

YOU: [Nods] Yep, they definitely deserved it.

"Congrats, you two!" Chan takes his turn to congratulate the winning couple.

"So happy for you, man!" He says as he gives Pierre a big hug.

The celebration continues with them popping open bottles of champagne and spraying everyone with it. You hide behind Chan as Pierre is aiming the bottle at both you and him.

"You're dripping!" You exclaim, seeing his face sticky and wet with white wine.

You help by wiping it with the back of your hand while he brushes his hair to the back.

Chan looks around and sees that everyone is having fun and happy, there's nothing he wishes more than his. It's a memory he'll treasure for life.

Everyone settles back to their seats as Lana has one announcement left.

"Your time at the retreat is over and therefore, the rules no longer apply."

Chan is turning to you but you're looking the other way, you walk over to the other side and he sees that you're coming over to someone.

Chan and Luke can only laugh as you share another kiss after the retreat ends with Dani.

Luke has to pull Dani away from you to not let the kiss continue while Chan pulls you from behind.

"Okay, that was hot," He says with an impressed smile.

He puts his arms around you and pulls you close, "But it's my turn now."

You giggle at him and waste no time to kiss him, opening your mouth to let him kiss you deeper, relishing the craving he has for the taste of your lips.

CHRIS: We never thought we'd get this far.

YOU: [Nods] Yeah.

CHRIS: [Looks at you] I'm proud of you.

YOU: [Shyly smiles] And I'm so proud of you!

The sounds of the fireworks going off startle you and you both turn around to see them lighting up the sky in bright, colorful sparks.

He's hugging you from behind as everyone else is also watching the wondrous view. His heart feels full yet he wants more of it, he knows that the only way he can get more of it is by sharing it.

Chan brings his mouth close to your ear and says, "I love you."

You turn around to look at him with a confused look on your face, "I'm sorry what?"

It's the explosive sounds of the fireworks and the music playing that make it hard for you to hear what he said the first time.

He raises his voice a little louder and says again, "I love you."

"What?" You raise your voice even louder than him against the constant explosion in the distance.

Chan laughs because it reminds him of the first day you met. He can tell you're not pretending to not hear it this time, he tries again by pressing his mouth close to your ear with his hands cupping around his mouth, "I love you!"

You coo at him in response and turn around to face him, "I love you too."

He captures your lips in one long, lingering kiss and lets out everything in him, freely and intensely. He's not afraid to let go now because he knows that's the only way to love you fully.

And no one can stop him, not now, not ever.

CHRIS: No more Lana. No more rules.

YOU: [Looks at Chris] And that means...?

CHRIS: Get in here!

YOU: [Kisses Chan] [Moans]

CHRIS: [Let go of the kiss] [Looks at the camera] Can I go now? Cause she needs to be f—

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wistfulwatcher · 5 months ago

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in an era where every show without record-breaking ratings gets axed immediately, i would just like to say how deeply grateful i am that crazy ex-girlfriend managed to air for four whole seasons and tell one of the most beautiful and moving stories of self-acceptance and love i've ever seen.

i just finished rewatching it (yet again) and every time i do i just think what an absolute shame it would have been if it had been cancelled after one or two (or even three) seasons. because, while it was clever and fun from the beginning, rebecca's mental state required the show to be so boy-crazy that it was a little tough to believe that the show would end up seeing the story through to where we eventually end up. the audience certainly got hints as to its final message early on ("love doesn't need to be a person, it can be a passion"). but because rebecca was rejecting those messages, the audience sort of had to, too. and if the show had been cancelled while rebecca was obsessed with josh? certain that her only path to happiness was romantic love and validation from a man? if we had never seen her truly understand and acknowledge ghost!akopian's words? i'm sure there would have been articles speculating on where the series could have ended up, acknowledging with resigned tones that the show had potential, with the seeds that had been planted.

but god, discussion of "the potential" of the show would have paled in comparison to what we got. because hot damn, did cxg end up doing character growth better than the vast majority of other series. (and not just for rebecca! almost every character in the large ensemble got to grow in a very organic, subversive, and meaningful way!) for a show that was consistently in danger because of their extremely low ratings, it was pretty ballsy of cxg not to rush through rebecca's story to prove its intention. for them to let rebecca be as frustrating and unlikable and unhealthy as she was for so many episodes, simply because they knew how necessary it was to show us the depth of rebecca's mistakes and struggles before she finally sought help and began to heal and grow. and the story was so, so much better and poignant for it. rebecca's season four growth feels very earned, and her end of series resolution to pursue her passion (her true love!) is so satisfying because it feels realistic. the audience has spent four years seeing her love for theater (and how it got tangled up in josh/the idea of romantic love) and when rebecca eventually realizes the same it's such a satisfying sense of finally.

it's an experience that has become painfully rare lately; too many series feel as though they're trying to cram as much into the first season as they can for fear of cancellation, and allowing no room for characters or relationships or story to grow naturally. they don't allow for anything other than the bare minimum plot. their characters can't breathe.

cxg didn't do that. they continued to tell the story they were telling, at the pace at which it needed to be told. and the series was truly phenomenal because of that choice. because of that trust in its own story and characters. cxg is a perfect example of what television can be, how powerful it can be, when it's allowed to be treated like the long-form storytelling medium it is. and i am so grateful for that.

#crazy ex girlfriend #rebecca bunch #television #meta #mine #wordles #~#ladiesblr #femalecharacters #i don't say it often enough on here but cxg is forever at the top of my rec list. especially after a fresh rewatch!#if you love television and character growth and beautiful messages about love and acceptance and connection pls watch this show #what's so frustrating is that the name of the show and the way rebecca behaves in s1 is probably what drives away the exact people #who will most appreciate the show!!! i think so many people - myself included - have very little faith in series actually exploring #the kernels of deeper meaning that are sprinkled into a show early on because so many don't follow through on those promises #but cxg? DOES.

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glassrunner · 3 months ago

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while isha was very much a cutesy character that helped soften some of the harsh moments of season 2, i ultimately feel that her existence was unnecessary.

the moment she appeared onscreen and immediately tagged along with jinx, i got the sense that she was incredibly hamfisted into the plot for the purpose of eventually making jinx Suffer More. the progression of their relationship (which i understand happened over a timeskip, but seriously that timeskip is doing too much heavy lifting -- a problem in its own) from "annoying kid following me around" to "new little sister" isn't elegantly alluded to, it's constantly made extremely obvious. and just to make sure we get the point, riot puts the final nail into that narrative coffin by having jinx literally say aloud that isha is a basically a younger version of powder and paints her hair blue. and then two episodes later, she's gone. just to give jinx yet another reason to go insane, which she doesn't really need.

isha has literally no dialogue. she serves to remind the audience of jinx's past, minus the trauma. it's easy and expected to project a young powder onto every scene she's in, which is just a waste of a new character. but even before the direct isha/powder comparison, jinx declares that she's discarded that persona, that "jinx" is no more. somehow, isha's mere presence even calms down jinx's psychosis to the point that she has a mild break for presumably the first time in a while only after isha is taken away, which just feels extremely lazy and gratuitous -- like the big bad Insanity is just a convenient lever to pull when the plot needs more tension and drama, rather than something that jinx has suffered from her whole life, and which silco's death amplified to the max.

all of the interesting plotlines i was looking forward to, like caitlyn's spiral into vengeance and fascism, jinx's rage and grief and psychosis causing chaos, vi and caitlyn either reconciling or being unable to in the end... it all just feels like it was brushed aside. jinx, after firing a rocket that killed half the piltover council, decides she just won't fight piltover anymore; caitlyn, who's grateful for ambessa's support and guidance in her crackdown on zaun, suddenly turns on her to aid vi; vi, forgetting her life-threatening feud with jinx, abruptly remembers they indeed are sisters who shared a life. so many conflicts conveniently resolved in seconds, when they should've taken at least a few minutes to untangle -- all because we needed so much time devoted to isha and jinx's relationship.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE the emotional moments that have been present so far. i think they do still hit, but their beauty is definitely muted because the pacing is a complete disaster. it was really difficult to enjoy isha having a bug battle with jinx when 1. i didn't even really recognize that jinx and 2. i was constantly thinking about what the other characters were doing. with how many plotlines need to be wrapped up before the finale (zaun's independence, the black rose vs. the medarda clan, mel's supposed magehood, etc.), i'm really not confident that we'll get a satisfying ending, and honestly i wouldn't have minded not having isha in the plot at all if it meant we could get a more coherent and less rushed overarching storyline.

#arcane isha #arcane #insights #arcane spoilers #sigh... and i really truly believed arcane would go the route of the legendary entirely faithful and high-quality game-to-tv adaptation #who knows? maybe i'm just an asshole for not being completely enamored with isha #but i really did not feel like her presence was organic #we don't need her to see what jinx as a normal adult could have been because we already KNOW she had that path closed off to her years ago #and she already had more than enough to propel her chaotic fury and madness after season 1 #so now that most of season 2 has NOT been about her waging war on piltover... i do feel rather disappointed #despite the eternal beauty of the animation and the worldbuilding and the music... season 2 cannot hold a candle to season 1 #i’m conflicted because she was honestly adorable and her moments were cute but i would take finished storylines over her any day

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whateverisbeautiful · 11 months ago

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What a joy and an honor to have loved Richonne's epic love story as hard as we could while we could. 🥹

Richonne means so very much to me and always will. To say their story has impacted my life for the better would honestly be an understatement. Rick and Michonne and their journey together from season 3 to TOWL played a part in keeping me going because life gets hard but the love captured between these characters is such an inspiring light that is exquisite and powerful and worth sticking around to behold.

And while 'it feels like it's ending'…it’s like Michonne said - they don’t die and neither does the love we have for them. We’ll be able to cherish Richonne and every single breathtakingly beautiful moment they gave us always. Richonne are the ones who live, the ones who love like no other, and the ones who will eternally hold a special place in my life.

This one-of-a-kind, out-of-this-world, moving beyond-words love story between profound soulmates Rick and Michonne Grimes - two of the greatest characters in media brought to life by the phenomenal Danai Gurira and Andrew Lincoln, two of the greatest actors in the craft - it lives on forever. And for that, I’m truly thankful. 🤍

Rick and Michonne got their happy ending with their precious children. 😭 They won. We won. 🙌🏽🎉

Also! In honor of that deleted picnic scene, (which I would have loved to see make the final cut) I just thought I'd share my little headcanon ending scene. A few days before the towl finale, I had this vision of a Grimes Family picnic moment being the final shot of the show, but of course, my vision includes a Carl cameo to complete the Grimes Family moment. This is what I had written down and imagine as a day for their family now that they're back together as they're meant to be:

Rick and Michonne have another Family Fun Day picnic with their kids. There’s this calm quiet moment where Judith is snuggled up to Michonne happily reading the book her parents brought home for her on the blanket, RJ is resting with Rick’s arm around him, Michonne is nestled by Rick’s side, and then Rick looks out and sees essentially the spirit of Carl standing from afar. Rick and his son share this warm smile as Carl gives a proud nod signaling this is everything he’s wanted for his dad - to feel safe and happy with their family just like Carl wrote to Rick in his letter.

And then Michonne looks at Rick and asks, “You see something?” And Rick just looks in Michonne’s eyes, smiles at her and says a content, “Yeah” before kissing her - finally seeing and experiencing the family he thought he’d lost for good but they’re all with him now. And then it ends with Richonne doing their signature thing of holding hands while enjoying this hard-earned and much-deserved day of peace with their family. 🥰

That, along with the abundance of golden moments we actually got within this miniseries and the main show, is how I'll forever remember my beloved Richonne and their Grimes family. Resilient love personified. It's been an unforgettable journey and I'm grateful for every part of it. Thank you, Andy & Danai. Thank you, Rick and Michonne. Long Live Richonne. 👑

#i'll love them always and forever #thank you richonne #thank you andy and danai #much more to say & revel over in due time - for now i'm just so grateful we got everything & more with the masterpiece that is richonne 🙏🏽#richonne #the ones who live #twd towl #danai gurira #andrew lincoln #grimes family 2.0 #twd towl spoilers #the walking dead: the ones who live #reflecting on richonne #thoughts

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annieqattheperipheral · 5 months ago

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wooosh. That's me sighing and breathing it out. Couldn't watch the gaudreaus memorial service live while working, just watched it in full on cbj youtube. first off, I'm ever so grateful the family granted us a livestream of this very difficult experience, that they are willing to open their arms to all of us to grieve together. their generosity and love.. wow. I'm in awe of this family. Thank you thank you. It is helping and healing so many of us to be part of this circle of support. thank you.

The priest interwove such beautiful personal memories with the gaudreaus in his sermon, and brought hope and a sense of guidance to steer mourners after such a heartwrenching and sudden tragedy. He welcomed ppl of all different faiths and connected the family to those grieving both there with them and far away. It was a beautiful way to begin the service.

I paused quite a few times during Madeline's and then Meredith's speeches to wipe tears. Meredith's was long but i get it. As she was nearing the end i had this feeling of no don't stop talking because when you end this speech is when we say our last goodbyes to johnny and matty and that's it we all carry on without them. No more Johnny Hockey in the NHL and that cannot be right.

The stories of how Johnny wore meredith's comfy clothing to pregame cracked me up. How he came bounding down the stairs one day in her maternity sweatshirt and she's like noooo take that off and he's like what it fits so well 😂 i cannot!! I can just imagine him preening so proudly lolll. He was so proud of his baby's spit up on his clothes, wore em to the rink. Incredible father and husband. Cannot believe he won't be around to help her through her 3rd pregnancy.

That both of Johnny and Matty's wives are going to go through pregnancy and labour without them. This tragedy is insane. How. How???!!!

I liked hearing about Johnny and Matty's deep deep connection. That Johnny lived an nhl life all season but all he wanted in the offseason was to go sleep in his tiny twin bed next to his brother in his own tiny twin bed in their childhood bedroom. Meredith said she knows so much of the focus has been on Johnny but even in life Matty knew that's how it was and loved his brother for it, was so proud of him.

Sean Monahan... wow wow wow I'm hurting hard for him. Johnny was really excited to play in cbj with him. Omg.

And Kevin Hayes. Goodness. So much heartbreak. Lost yet another brother. The hayeses really took care of Johnny in the nhl.

Guy Gaudreau, their father. The very last shot of the family at the end as they exited the church, following the two caskets out, Meredith followed Johnny's. Madeline and the gaudreaus (parents and 2 sisters) then following Matty's.. Guy was an absolute mess being held up by his wife and daughter. My heart broke all over again.

Spotted a lot of familiar hockey faces in the pews. I hope being there was healing. I know for me, everything felt unreal and confusing until i physically got to see my cousin's casket and then see with my own eyes as she was placed to rest. That connection to reality helped the loneliness and confusion i felt. I wanted to be with her but then my brain could finally give me an answer, she's sleeping in that place where i can go visit.

Ok. well in the pans over the attendees saw cbj, flames, team usa, Matthew Tkachuk, Seth Jones, Cole Caufield, Nikita Zadorov and others.

Well. This coming season is gonna get off to a real sad start and I'm glad we have each other in the lb🫂💕 those home opener tributes are gonna be tough.

#rip #johnny gaudreau #matty gaudreau #matthew gaudreau #columbus blue jackets #calgary flames #annieQ hockey thoughts

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mondstalgia · 1 year ago

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BL ships that I will never forget:

In a few weeks it's gonna be 14 years of obsessing over queer media, especially BL, so here are the ships always on my mind in no particular order.

Arata & Shingyouji (Takumi-kun Series 4: Pure, 2010): Listen the Takumi-kun Series from 2007 to like 2011 was my life as a (pre-)teen. In hindsight really sketchy but anyway haha. Those two really caught my eye back then though (especially their racy kisses) and I was happy they got their own bigger part in one of the movies.

Evan & Isak (Skam Season 3, 2016): Was there a queer European teen that wasn't obsessed with this season of Skam? I remember re-watching it so many times I could recite their text without speaking Norwegian. Plenty of beautiful Skam universe parallel couples out there but these two will remain the iconic blueprint.

ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to me, 2023): Almost unfair to put them on here but seeing how I haven't been able to think about any other ship every single day for the last 3 months, I feel like it's justified. They just have everything I want and need to get hyperfixated on.

Seiryo & Yuzuru (Seven Days, 2015): Oh my, the way I loved this silly concept and how funny it was yet they managed to get me all emotionally involved in the span of two movies? Insane chemistry and just..everything I needed back then. Especially since it was then one of the very few BL's I saw without a sad ending.

KornKnock (Bad Romance 2016, Together With Me 2017 - 2018): Listen, plot wise Manner of Death is the absolute height to me but when it comes to MaxTul I will never forget them as Korn and Knock in these series. Forever grateful to all the fanvids that led me to finding my BL fathers. Chemistry forever out of this world. Also shout out to Yiwha, best female character in any BL and my wife.

WinTeam (Until We Meet Again 2019, Between Us 2023): The couple that made me aware of what second lead syndrome was because I waited so long for more of them, it felt eternal. I don't think I will ever get tired of these two.

VegasPete (KinnPorsche, 2022): Who said I couldn't like a toxic ship? These two took me by surprise, I didnt even know they were going to be a ship in the series. Definitely acknowledging how fucked up they are yet at the same time it's the forst toxic ship that really got me. I love them, in my own weird way.

HaoGu (HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, 2019): I mourned them like I have mourned no other couple. I should have known from the title but they really lead me astray. My beautiful boys, the star crossed lovers. They still get me emotional now, I might go cry now.

Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare, 2021 - 2023): Before ChenAi there were Hira and Kiyoi who absolutely owned my heart. I love how misunderstood by BL fans they were who claimed their toxicity. Meanwhile I simply love how weird their relationship is and getting to see a real Tsundere in action. I'm obsessed with them.

Honourable Mention: Kim Jae Wook as Min Sun Woo in Antique Bakery, 2008. The very first gay character I saw in Korean media. Forever iconic, forever in my heart.

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 1 year ago

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When you think about it, it really is incredibly lucky that OFMD got made at all.

Obviously, we're grieving right now. But the state of streaming is absolute shit right now, and that didn't start overnight. The first season of OFMD was produced at the exact right time for a queer romcom with a lot of poc in the cast to get made at all - even a few years earlier and it probably never would've gotten greenlit in the first place.

And despite HBO giving the show essentially nothing in terms of marketing, the fan reaction was so huge and passionate that we got a second season. Even then, even with budget cuts and time constraints, it was damn good.

Obviously, it sucks right now, but things had to happen exactly right for us to get the two seasons we got, and they did. We've got this beautiful, amazing show, and nothing can ever take that away. I'm glad I decided to sit down in March 2022 to check out that new show I'd heard about; I'm glad you all watched it, too, so we can all be sharing this grief right now.

I'm trying to feel grateful, tonight, that all our times and places happened to work just right so we could experience this together. I'm glad things worked out, in this one little way.

#ofmd #our flag means death

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carylmeanslove · 2 months ago

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What Can I say...

It's been a crazy, wild ride of a year. We've got soooo much to be grateful for this year. We have proof that we are made of harder stuff than we give ourselves credit for and made it through a lot of drama and uncalled for hate thrown at us all for being smart and knowing true soulmates when we see them. We've made a lot of friends, and we are blessed. I'm thankful for all the friends I've found. 💕🥰

We got to see not only one beautiful beyond belief love story play out in front of us (on our screens) but two of them and they are part of our world. They actually exist for real. How lucky to be living now to witness this. Nothing beats friends to lovers. We love them both. We love Nicola and Luke so much and we are so lucky they are who they are. That they are such amazing and wonderful human beings. We looked out on getting them as our beloved Polin. But so did they. They are blessed the most, because they got something that matters more than anything else. ❤️🥰

I am proud of those of us that can see that, and we get it. We understand what true love looks like. We are appreciating the example of it for those who haven't found it themselves yet. Those of us who are blessed with it as well are reminded of just how great a gift it is to have. We want to thank them. Those of us who truly get it and understand them. I wish more did. Because doing the things the other side does just to win a non-existent ship war is utterly shameful and so horrible. People need to look within and self-reflect on that behavior in an honest way. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Do better and become better people. That is my wish for the other side. Then maybe you will be able to open your eyes and see the god honest truth of your behavior. That it is not right. It is appalling and some things are downright illegal. No one will ever see a true Lukola stalking our dear pair like they are a hunter hunting prey like some on the other side do. Who even thinks to even fantasize about doing that kind of stuff or think it's even remotely okay to do? 😡🤬 It truly makes me weep for humanity. 😭

Anyways... The most in tune of us, Lukolas, we don't pay attention to everyone, their mother and the kitchen sink, but for the two that matter in all this. We only wait patiently and love and appreciate them and we know their voices and words and listen to them, fore they are the only ones that matter in THEIR narrative. Of course, I know some have a hard time having faith due to not paying attention to what really matters in all this. So, I wish for the New Year everyone who is having trouble with this, will be able to find some peace within themselves and have the strength and fortitude to block out those that don't matter and start to look to the right people for the answers. Luke and Nicola. ❤️🥰

I am so very excited for what 2025 is going to bring us. I know it will be awesome! I have a good feeling about it. That good feeling has only been building over time. I don't know when we will be getting what we're waiting for, but I know that they are in love, happy, together and thriving and that is all that really matters, truly. I wish Luke and Nicola all the love, happiness and blessings in the New Year. They deserve all the greatest things life can bring them. I just know they will always have each other through it all. Soulmates are like that. I also know that what their future holds is SO amazing. Here I am waiting patiently to be let in on their joyful news, because I truly want them to be ready and want it to be on their terms. I just wish them a happy New Years where they are right now. ❤️🥰

I wish everyone that had a part in making Bridgerton season 3 a happy New Year. For making this season such an epic, fun and wonderful watch. ❤️💋

I hope all my fellow Lukolas/Polinators will have a blessed New Years too. Keep safe and party responsibly. Don't drink and drive. Love ya! 2025 here we come!!! 💕🎉

#Lukola #Happy New Years

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terriblepersongreatseamonster · 9 months ago

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(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #thoughts from a plus-size girl #it's surreal #I am more than my weight #representation matters #type 2 diabetes

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bronx-bomber87 · 5 months ago

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Happy Wednesday wonderful readers :) Holy hell can’t believe we're at the finale already. Granted only ten eps but still haha They really made these ten eps count. Can only wonder what a full season would’ve been like. But we can’t live in that realm. This finale minus the Monica crap didn’t care about was real good for our ship.

Also SO excited I got to mainly use pretty gifs from our wonderful gif makers in this one. They create them for us to use and I'm forever grateful. I love that I have the option to use my own if I need it. But much rather use these beautiful gifs if I can help it. First one in awhile been able to. Also proud of myself for getting this out right before my road trip. Moving to another state is a struggle. You hate all your belongings towards the end lol Also with Tumblr being a dick and erasing my edits twice.... But here it is despite all that . Let’s get started.

6x10 Escape Plan

For the sake of GIF space, and wanting to focus on the Chenford in this ep, I'm not going to do GIFs of her UC mission. I will do a quick rundown of what went down. Lucy’s priority is to get evidence linking Blair to Monica. They end up getting that link through Blair herself because of Nolan. Lucy finds out about the hit at the laundromat Monica is paying Batista for though. She is offing a former ally cause she's the absolute worst. Lucy is no longer needed as a Nanny after this with the family taking off.

They've decided to go to ground after this. Lucy is convinced it'll be easy to collar them though. Which leads us to this fantastic little moment. Lucy folds into the OP since she isn’t needed as a UC anymore. Tim does not take his eyes off her from the moment she enters the scene. It’s unreal. Be more in love with her Timothy I dare you. Look at that man above. This mini moment is so soft. The wording, the heart eyes, and how Angela is looking between them.

She knows they’re still in love with each other. Anyone with eyes can see that. It literally pours out of these two without them even noticing. Angela sure notices hehe She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. Melissa and Eric are damn treasure to make such a mini moment so soft and perfect. Got me squeeing to death over here. You can see he’s much happier with her apart of this OP. It’s so lovely. Brief but beautiful. Love our ship.

This scene is the second best of the episode. It’s the first time they’ve really had alone time together since the breakup. Now this isn’t the adult convo they need to have here. BUT this is a HUGE development in terms of communication. Especially from Tim. He’s the one to start and share. He’s grown so much I could cry. This conversation just shows how far he’s come and he is respecting Lucy’s boundaries in the process of this convo.

He’s opening up to her but also doing it on her terms. He doesn’t want to dump his feelings all over her. Because he lost that right when he broke them up. What he is doing is being vulnerable so Lucy knows what an impact she’s made on him. It’s a massive massive growth scene for Tim. It starts out with him sharing he took her advice about therapy. Lucy looks closed off as she should be at first. Saying and?

Tim makes a crack about her being a blackmailing psychopath. Because the jokes help him be vulnerable with her. We all know how much he hates to be that even with Lucy. So this is such good progress for him. Lucy lets him know that’s not normal what happened to him lol I've had two and that most definitely has not happened to me haha You can tell she’s excited he’s gone and doesn’t want him to sour on it cause of Blair. This convo alone proves how much it’s done for him so she wants him to know that. Always watching out for him, no matter what I love it. *happy sigh*

It's fascinating to watch Lucy soften the more he speaks about it. She remains cautious, and rightfully so. But she is intently listening and absorbing everything he’s saying. Tim letting her know the irony was she was a good therapist. And she was there was no doubt about that. She got him to go and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. After being in therapy and having it continually make my life better I so relate with his replies.

How she opened doors to things he didn’t even know was there. You can see he is pensive but lighter as he says this. When you unearth stuff and give it room to breathe. Process what it is. You feel so much better. For me always starts out with this uneasy pressure and fire in my belly. The anxiety and uncomfortableness of it.

Then by the time we’re done dissecting it that feeling is gone and I feel noticeably lighter. Guarantee you was the same for him. You can tell by how he talks about it. Look at how Lucy is looking at him as he speaks. She can sense it too. Gah it’s so good. She is so impressed and proud of him. Look at her face in the first two gifs. It says it all to me. Melissa, like Eric, has a remarkable ability to convey so much emotion through her eyes. Why we have a super couple everyone. Our actors who portray them are superb.

Tim goes on to say now those confessions are being dissected. Up in the cloud for some FBI IT guy to come un-encrypt them. I hate that so much for him. No doubt the confessions he had were very raw and vulnerable. To have them exposed has to be so violating. I know I would be feeling incredibly violated if mine were leaked. It’s supposed to be a safe space to work your crap out. Be emotional, vulnerable, and talk your feelings out. Which is so hard for our boy.

Wish we could've seen his sessions. But they didn't have time with ten eps. Maybe S7? Tim continuing on to say how they’re going to be analyzed for evidentiary value. I hate that so much. Tim is putting a light spin on it. But we know deep down how much that bothers him. If they were in a better spot or even together he would voice that. But they’re not there yet. Lucy looks at him with a soft smile though. One betraying her feelings for this man. Telling him she’s sorry. Because she really is. Last thing she'd ever want for him.

Lucy then asks if he said anything revealing about her? Because of course he did. There’s no way in hell that man didn’t talk about her. She was one of the main reasons he sought out therapy. But there’s nothing to be done about what he revealed at this point. What’s done is done as they say. His joke had me cracking up so very much. I know it was misinterpreted by some. Wondering if he was deflecting.

He was not. He clearly said intimate and personal things in his sessions. Like I said earlier supposed to be a safe space to do so. But given where they are right now. The fact that this is their first real convo in almost four episodes he keeps it light. Maybe someday when they’re back together they can dip their toe back in but that time is not now. As I said in the very beginning of this scene. He is respecting her boundaries in this moment.

Doing this for couple reasons. One making light of it because he’s feeling vulnerable in this moment. Two he wants to lighten the mood because this is a serious subject. I wanna cry at how much he’s grown to even be vulnerable enough to share this with her. Her reply reminded me of 5x21 when she asked Tim if he missed her? It’s so cute and such a light hearted way to end this scene. This scene represents significant growth for him and for their relationship. They’re on the road to slowly healing and I’m here for it.

The hit was pops off. Tim sees one of the guys taking a truck to escape. He pursues him alone and jumps in back. Luckily his wife sees this and takes off after her man. Doesn’t waste anytime going after him. I love it sfm. When the chips are down they are just there for each other. I’ll forever love how fiercely protective they are of one another. Makes my heart swell with shippy happiness. Angela joins Lucy in the pursuit of Tim.

We watch as Lucy is having a panic attack watching Tim struggle. He is losing the battle quickly and she cannot just sit there and let him get hurt or worse. The love of her life is being demolished in this fight. She physically can’t stand it and tells Angela to take the wheel. Angela is floored by her determination to get to him. If you weren’t already impressed with the BAMF Lucy Chen has become. You will be now. Look at how she jumps onto that truck.

The music once again perfection as the scene unfolds. She is fueled by the need to protect her person and some adrenaline to go along with it. I love Tim’s face when she appears. So thankful she is there because he was NOT I repeat not winning. He was upside down so quickly. It’s why Lucy is there saving him. They immediately fall back into the well oiled machine they are in the field. Taking down this guy together. Always say they look like poetry in motion at work this scene is continual proof of that.

I love the looks they share in the cab. Tim’s far more telling than hers. Looks like he’s falling in love with her all over again For the second episode in a row. Floored by the cop she’s become. How amazing she was to make that jump and save his ass. He is forever in awe of this woman in front of him. Saying so much with just a look there Timothy. You are at work put those heart eyes away haha Actually don’t I love it so much. You can see the utter reverence in his eyes for her. Does my shippy soul good to see it.

The look Tim gives her outside the truck is EVERYTHING. She just risked her life to save him. That man is in shock. After everything he did. The fact that she would risk her life for him like that.... He can't believe it. That’s the face of a man astonished by the woman standing before him. She did it because she still loves you my silly goober of a man. But we will get there I’m sure of it. Like I said earlier this is a slow healing and I’m ready for the ride. I really am.

So much is being said with these looks and no words are even spoken. That’s the beauty of our ship right here. That silent communication only they have. How they can convey so much with just a look. God I love this ship. There’s a reason they’ve had a stranglehold on me for years. Tim cannot take his eyes off the woman in front of him. I love it so much.

T.O. Tim would’ve lost his mind at her action. In love Tim can’t stop being in awe of her for it. I can’t get over how he is looking at her. It’s so telling. Lucy is reciprocating will a look of her own. Their instinct to reach out to each other but they hold back. *sigh*. Such a an incredible fight scene. Our ship got back to back finales with bad ass fight scenes. I love watching them in the field. That’s where their roots begin. Why I love it so much.

We start off the glorious elevator scene. (And fantastic song in the background. Can't praise the music department enough.)We get back to back goodies in this space too. The scene we’re about to embark on is beautifully done. Eric and Melissa doing what they do best. Knocking it out of the park with their skills and chemistry. I love Tim’s 'Lucy smile' being in full force as she walks up to him. *happy sigh* That man could not be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy isn’t holding back with the heart eyes when he’s not looking either. Her being the one to crack the joke is precious. Lightening the vibe instantly.

Making a crack about his injury. Her way of showing she cares without it getting too personal. Because they just aren’t there yet and ya know that’s ok. This is going to be a slow burn to reconciliation. I’m actually pretty excited about it. Tim returns her affections with a joke of his own. Saying slacker is his middle name haha Ever the gentlemen let’s Lucy go on first. They settle into the elevator with some charged energy. Lucy retreats into the back of it. Not ready to be standing that close to him yet.

Wanting to keep whatever this interaction may be brief. She’s still hurting and it shows. Also, knowing the magnetic pull of theirs too strong for her to tempt fate by being closer to him. Tim feels this too as he settles in. Doesn’t push it. His spatial awareness around her remains considerate. Stays out of her bubble for the most part. The growth train with Tim continues. I’m floored by this scene everyone. Just floored. Also proud and astonished by this man. Opening up to not once but TWICE in the same episode.

Let us delve into this wonderful scene with how Tim opens it up. His back to her still. Respecting this physical boundary she has set up. I wanna start by saying watch Lucy in the background as he speaks. He only slightly turns his body so he can’t fully see it. The look of apprehension present? Yes. She is like a wounded animal, not sure if she can trust the man in front of her fully. But she cannot for the life of her keep the love and reverence out of her eyes. She does it the entire scene.

Just because she can’t trust him yet doesn’t mean she isn’t still madly in love this man. Her actions in the OP proving as much. Tim leads off with her saving his life. Blatantly stating she saved his life. Who are you and what have you done with Tim Bradford? Lucy deflects because she doesn’t know how to handle this new Tim. One who is graciously giving her credit. Lucy is feeling vulnerable herself and pushing it away. Telling Tim he had him. Honey, you don’t jump onto a moving truck out another vehicle in motion if he had him lol

Tim refuses to take ANY credit for this. Telling her basically how fucked he was in that moment. Reminding her of his predicament. Letting her know how much he DID NOT have him. He knows he screwed up in his approach and she saved him from his mistake. The growth here makes me wanna cry. They are happy tears don’t worry. The more I go through this season the more I’m glad we had this all happen. I know you must think I’m crazy for saying that. But it’s true.

Can you imagine S1 Tim acknowledging his mistake and showing gratitude to Lucy for saving him? Hell, even S5 Tim, who is madly in love with her, couldn’t share the credit in 5x05 for her saving his life in the pilot. This is a much different Tim Bradford we are looking at folks. Despite all the crap with Dr. London he has grown. Their fallout brought him to a place where he could. To the point where he is thanking her for saving him. No bravado. No tough Tim. Just vulnerability plain and simple. Not only that but sincere gratitude.

Lucy can see the vulnerability he is displaying to her. She can feel how sincere his words are because she knows this man. Back in 6x09 she asked John how he sounded. Because she can determine everything about where is by the tone of his voice. Lucy can’t even see his face really but can tell how sincere he is being by his voice.

That’s why we get this incredibly soft look from her. Heart eyes galore as she tells him ‘You’re welcome.’ As I stated earlier she may not trust him right now. But god is she is so in love with this man. It’s written all over how she is staring at him as she replies above.

Getting me all in my shippy feels and igniting my excitement. I have no doubt Tim feels she doesn’t love him anymore. If he turned around and saw her revealing look of love he would know. But he doesn’t. Being respectful of her space in this moment he keeps his back turned.

It’s here we see Tim internalizing everything. Gathering up the courage to turn around and tell her what’s been on his heart. Something I’m sure has been rattling around in his head since he started therapy. Their hug in this very elevator likely intensified these feelings even more. The kindness and empathy she showed him. Even though he felt unworthy of it. It stirred something up in him. Realizing again what he once had that he so hastily threw away. Once again Eric be killing me with his expressiveness. Tim finds the courage to turn around and speak his peace.

We watch him be vulnerable and open up to her for the third time in this ep. Second time just in this moment. Once I was shocked and proud enough. But three all together? I’m damn right giddy at this point. He starts off STRONG. Admitting he knows he ruined everything. This is HUGE. Finally admitting fault to her. The fact that he knows this and is acknowledging it. *screams into a pillow* It's everything we've waited for. It’s an incredible start to this part. So many were mad at him in 6x07. It wasn’t fair or just to Tim. He needed time to get here. Lucy may need her own therapy and growth. But is little more evolved in the emotional game than Tim.

Also it's WHY he needed therapy in the first place. Wasn’t fair to expect that out the gate for him pre-therapy. You don’t get his character if that’s what you expected IMO. Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true. It’s what makes this scene even more satisfying. To watch him make the journey to this moment with her. To let her know he screwed up royally. That he wouldn’t have blamed her for turning on him. He made it easy to. This second line showing he still has growth to do. To get to the place where he knows Lucy love him through anything. But he’s a WIP as we all are lol

Lucy isn’t sure she is ready for this conversation. We can see that she struggles to even make eye contact with him. Like I said earlier, she’s having a hard time trusting him, let alone accepting this newer side of Tim. It’s a lot for her to take in post OP. She’s also still harboring a lot of anger towards him. You can see it percolating all over her expression. Tears forming in her eyes. Threatening to fall at any second. Melissa out here trying kill me with her amazing acting.

That anger is ever present and hasn't really had a chance to breathe or surface at all. I mentioned in 6x09 that she hadn't really dealt with the trauma of their breakup fully. Her reaction above is proof of that. This is why she’s letting him know he doesn’t have to do this. Because, deep down, this is what she’s wanted, but she isn’t sure she is actually ready for it. She hasn't sorted through her own feelings and anger fully about all this. Fingers crossed s7 does that or she is there by then. Also Lucy is trying to give Tim an out he is REFUSING to take with her reply.

Tim isn’t going to let this moment pass by without saying this. He is trying to repair them with something he should’ve done long ago. Communication. Honest communication with her. It’s on his heart to do this and nothing is stopping him. It’s here he says a line that makes us all swoon. Makes us all wanna kiss him for. Also, it's making me incredibly emotional in the process. He’s just so god damn sincere it’s making my heart ache in the best way. Letting her know she will never know how much he appreciates her kindness.

Because to Tim he felt so unworthy of it. He felt that way before they broke up. Her continuing to be the same caring empathetic person to him afterwards? Blowing his mind. Also reminding him of this incredible person he let slip through his fingers. It’s an epiphany he’s having here in this moment. What he’s really thanking her for is far more than just the truck and their elevator hug.

She’s shown him her kindness and big heart since the start of their relationship. When he was a dumpster fire and all she could see was his good heart. The man that was beneath all the damage. Lucy has been a constant source of joy, positivity and love in his life. He would be remiss not to thank her for all that she has done for him. This is extending for their whole relationship IMO. His words holding extra meaning in that regard. Thanking her for their entire relationship.

This next part is friggin EVERYTHING. This is Tim acknowledging he took her choice and voice away in 6x06. He is giving her all the say in this moment. Letting her know he will spend the rest of his life trying to pay her back. Which makes my heart happy on so many levels. Wanting to EARN his spot back at her side. Not just waltzing back in. He wants to demonstrate his commitment and win back his place in her life. Gah it’s so good.

I can't wait to see what does for his small doses in s7. Also, there’s something so beautiful about Lucy just being Lucy that reminds him why he fell in love with her in the first place. About what he has lost as well. Knowing this incredible person needs to be earned back. He then follows it up with whatever small doses she allows. Which is now on HER terms. He’s giving Lucy her voice and choice back.

Things he robbed her of in their breakup. Took away her agency when he did these things. Beautiful thing is he recognizes this and is letting her know. Not only does he have a lot to make up for, but if she allows him to, it’ll be fully on her terms and say. You’re dead inside if you weren’t tearing up in this moment. I was a mess. Also If you can’t see the enormous amount of growth this moment represents I can’t help you lol

Lucy’s guarded but softened look says everything. How she is longing to let him back in but can’t just yet. Almost like how a rescue animal would react. The need to want to trust is there. But it hasn’t been rebuilt yet. She is hesitant to truly trust in it. Lucy is floored by the man standing in front of her though. The myriad of emotions coursing through her is reflected above. Just look at her eyes alone. It’s here we can see her soften a little. Defrost a bit. She’s not there yet but she will be. We all love Lucy for her loving and forgiving heart. I don’t see why she wouldn’t let him back in if he continues this growth. This desire to make things right between them.

Working on himself to be better. Regaining his place in her life. Something he wants so badly but realizes he needs to earn back. There is a great quote from Ted Lasso that fits perfectly here. "I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather by the strength we show when and if we're ever given a second chance." I remember there being a small faction of people being nasty about Tim still. How they never wanted Lucy to forgive him. It was those same people who were terrible about his mental health crisis too. Showing their emotional immaturity once again. Made my blood boil.

I avoided the Chenford tag because couldn't take the outrageous takes they were spewing. Here is what I have to say to those people. One. I hope you never make a mistake in your life then. Because the way you want this man to be treated is with zero empathy or compassion. I highly doubt you'd want that for yourself. Second refer to the quote above. No one should be defined by the actions of their weakest moments. That's not who Lucy Chen is. There is no way she would hold this against someone she loves forever. Tim is going to earn her back I guarantee you that. He is going to show strength when given that second chance. Mark my words.

Tim gives her the sweetest Lucy smile before he turns back around. Feeling better having shared a piece of himself with her. Proud of himself for being vulnerable with her even though scared him to death. Written all over his face in the second gif. But he couldn't let her leave that elevator without letting her know he was going to put the work in. Going to try and fix what he so hastily broke.

It’s once again how Lucy is looking at him when he turns back around that gets me. That longing to reach out to him but keeping herself from doing as such. Keeping herself rooted to that wall in an effort to stop herself from reaching out like she longs to. If you were wondering if she was still in love with him look at her. That is the face of a woman who is still so in love with the man before her.

Tim tops it off with bidding her good night. Nothing more nothing less. He said what he needed to say. It’s up to Lucy to accept it or ignore it completely. It’s her prerogative either way. Which is the impression he wanted to leave her with. Lucy keeping that longing but questioning look up as she follows him out below. We can see her starting to see the change in him as she does. First he tells her he's gone to therapy and now this. I saw a something the other day it said 'An apology isn't one if there isn't changed behavior.' Tim is exhibiting changed behavior here.

Lucy is feeling torn between staying mad or starting to heal. Wanting desperately to believe in his words. That is written all over her face as she exits the elevator. We see her face change into a small smile at the end. It's not in this gif but she does. This was the start to healing everyone. Also was the perfect way to end the season for them IMO. Why you ask? Because it didn’t need to more than this. Anything more would be been a disservice to this SL they created. Would’ve made breaking them up pointless. It had to have a purpose and this was it. Growth. Also this scene is a promise for s7.

I know some wanted a frantic hook up but it wasn't right to do so. They are not ready to be back together yet. Both have a lot of work to do before we get there. How they ended them for the season was *chefs kiss* It ended with Tim acknowledging the wrong he had done and what he’s going to do to make it up. That’s what makes s7 so exciting. I think he will continue therapy. I really do. I also think we’re about to see a determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends. Get to see a side of him we haven’t seen before and that excites me to no end.

Because Lucy Chen brings out the best in this man. And s7 is going to reflect that. As much as this season ripped my heart out. Truly I haven’t been this devastated by a couple in half a decade at least. If not a little more tbh. But rewatching this and having a better insight to it. I’m glad they did this. We all love Lucy rebuilding him and loving him into a better version of himself. Don’t get me wrong I love that. She changed his life dramatically for the better. Thing is she was his safety blanket emotionally.

I said this back in 6x07 that it was Tim’s journey to go on not Lucy’s. It was his problem to fix. She couldn’t fix what was wrong inside him. Only therapy and putting in the work was going to get that done. Their breakup was an eventuality without Tim growing. When they get back together (which they will) we will be grateful for the painful growth this season gave them. Said this before. Rather have them evolve snd grow as characters than be puddle deep like Bailian.

We’re going to get a stronger and even better version of Chenford in s7. Better version of them as characters as well. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. Because it wouldn’t be right or realistic to rush them back together. I’m ready for the slow burn of s7. I really am. It's going to make when they get back together all the more sweet. I’ll be excited when we lose our minds collectively when it does. Also enjoying the journey it’ll take to get us there. I might do minis for s7 too. I’ll post something when we get closer to that if that’s someone people want.

Until then remember our ship is the best ship on this show. They’ll find their way back to each other. When they do it’s going to make it all worth it ❤️ Also the link above is for the song in the elevator. Whoever is in charge if music is truly gifted at what they do. Every song was lyrically perfect or just musically apt for the moment it was in. Thank you to everyone once again for the likes, comments (please leave comments haha I love them sfm) Reblogs they make all The effort so worth it. Shall see you all in s7 :)

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Side notes-Non Chenford

More creepy waking up with Bailian. I don’t get get them as a couple. I really don’t. Like watching paint dry.

Loved Aaron's mic drop of a moment with Dr. London. Well done sir. Shall miss you. Come and visit eh? Maybe for a wedding...

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