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seospicybin · 1 year

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Bangchan x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (11,7k words)

Author's note: Season 3 is done! See you on the next season :)

YOU: $0? [Facepalms] So, where do we go from here?

The bright sunny day is not working to cheer everyone up after the shocking announcement that there's no money left in the prize fund.

You've been sitting outside with Chan, holding each other's hand and trying to process everything while looking at the beautiful view of the endless sea and the surface of water glimmering under the sun.

Chan has been quiet for too long and it's concerning. You decide to break the silence, shaking his hand and saying, "We spent too much money, babe."

He sighs and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, "Too much."

You don't want to put salt on the wound but it's time to face the the truth that you both fucked up.

"We let them down. We let everyone down," you say with a heavy heart.

He looks at you and sees you in the eyes, "I'm sure there'll be a way to make it up to them."

He doesn't sound that confident with what he said but you're grateful that in a time like this, he tries his best to comfort you.

"And we'll show them that we have a genuine connection," he says with a soft smile.

You return the smile and put your other hand on your clasped hands, "We took a big step last night."

Physical connection is not that new to you but after last night, you can feel that something shifts between the two of you into something that is peculiarly new yet familiar at the same time.

"I feel closer. I feel more connected to you," you honestly tell him the changes you felt.

"That's true," he agrees with a smile that is more brighter and hopeful than before.

You take the chance to comfort him this time and sweetly smile at him, "We got each other," you remind him.

It's you and him versus everyone. For better or worse, through ups and downs, you face it together. You may be at the bottom now but you're sure you both will be back on top, together.

"Always," he says.

He brings your mouth close to his mouth and kisses it, "Since day one."

That makes you take a look back. You've been going through so much together and it makes you realize that with him, you feel like you can do anything.

Together you are invincible.

YOU: I feel terrible for what I did but at least, now I no longer doubt the feelings I have for Chris. It feels real now and it's scary... in the best way.

In the afternoon, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

Chan hasn't recovered from the announcements from this morning yet so he's not keen to know what's coming his way, he has an inkling that it's not good for him and you.

Just like you read his mind, you place a soft kiss on his neck and wipe the lipstick mark you left on it with your thumb.

"We got each other," you whisper.

Chan is grateful for you, you've been so open and understanding, even though he's a hard-shell type of person, you make it hard for him not to let you in.

The chime comes and Jace gags in response. The melodic chime is certainly, anxiety-inducing.

"The prize fund is currently at $0," Lana announces as if everyone has forgotten about it.

"However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," she further informs.

It's like everyone is collectively letting out a big sigh of relief and getting a breath of fresh air at the mention that there's a way to return some money into the pot.

"I'll commence the first test," Lana continues.

Chan gets stressed once again and so is everyone. Test means he's not doing great, test means that it's not going to be easy, test means bad.

The worst thing that could happen is his name got called by Lana for that test.

Like he manifested it into reality, Lana does call his name along with yours. He sees you look at him and feels bad that he can't show a brave face to you.

"I gifted you watches as an incentive to connect on a physical level for the right reasons. Yet you have shown a complete disregard for my gift and your fellow guests."

He looks at you and you put on a thin smile for him, he puts his arm around you to pull you closer, he needs something to hold on to.

"Therefore, drastic action is required," Lana sternly says.

CHRIS: I've messed up. Big time. [Deeply exhales]

Deep down, you know you deserve what's coming for you but you don't want to go home, no, not yet.

"You both..." Lana drags her words to heighten the suspense.

You and Chan still have some growing to do as a couple and if Lana is kind enough to let you stay, you'd be very grateful. If not, then... it's not like you didn't see this coming.

You have to own up to your mistakes so whatever happens, you will try to accept it.

"... have 12 hours to prove you can connect on a deeper, more emotional level."

You feel a little lighter knowing that it's not an elimination but it's not time to be relieved yet, you're still waiting for the catch.

"If you fail to get a green light in those 12 hours, your time here will be terminated."

There it is. The catch. This is you and Chan's biggest test yet. There's no wasting time, you have 12 hours to prove or you go home.

"Your time starts now!" Lana announces.

YOU: This is going to be a challenge for us. We've never really talked about our emotions.

It's going to be harder for Chan.

He realizes he rarely talked about his feelings with you. His default setting is to show affection through actions so he is never good at verbalizing it.

"I don't want to go home," you tell him, cuddling on the sofa outside, "I want to spend more time with you."

He holds your hand and puts it close to his chest, "I don't want to go home either but I just—"

He inhales air and finishes his sentence, "It's not easy for me, talking about emotions."

"We can try," you say with your fingers lightly caressing his bare chest.

You tilt your head to face him, "You know what? I'll start," you volunteer.

He puts your hair away from being blown by the wind and holds it there for you, "Yeah?"

"Remember when we first met and I made you tell your name again?"

He nods as the recollection of it plays in the back of his head.

"I pretended not to hear it because I wanted those lips near me," you confess with a giggle.

He can't tell if you're trying to get a green light or just want to make him feel better, either way, he finds it adorable of you.

You check your watch and pout seeing that it's not turning green, "Well, it's worth a try," you say with a laugh.

As he breaks into laughter, he pulls you close and kisses you on the cheek.

"No need to hurry," you playfully say.

You rub his back and place a sweet kiss on his neck, "We still have like ten hours to get a green light."

That only reminds him to hold you tighter, he needs it more now than ever after knowing that he possibly wouldn't be able to do it again.

CHRIS: I find it hard to open up and talk about my feelings. Not sure I can do it.

With time keep slipping out of your hand, and your heart is getting worried.

You give Chan space and time to be on his own, organizing his thoughts and maybe it'll help him find the courage to talk about what he truly feels.

You remind yourself that it'll not be his fault if both of you end up getting eliminated. So you let go of the guilt and prepare yourself for the worst outcomes.

Before he leaves for his workshop, you pull him aside and warmly hug him.

"I really like you, Chris," you murmur.

You look up and softly smile at him, "I care about you."

You don't want to pressure him but you want to let him know that whatever happens, you will have no hard feelings nor hold a grudge against him.

"I know it's tough for you to open up but if you weren't ready, it's okay. If we got sent home, that doesn't mean things between us are over, you know that?" You say with a smile.

"I know," he lowly answers.

You stand on your tiptoes to plant a long kiss on his cheek, "Don't pressure yourself, okay, baby?"

He nods and hugs you back, locking you in his big arms because this might be the last time you embrace each other like this.

YOU: This is more difficult than I thought. At that moment, I think we might be going home.

"That dress looks good on you, darling!" Dani praises you as she watches you checking your appearance on the big mirror in the dressing room.

"Yeah?" You ask yourself why bother looking this good on your last night in the retreat.

"Yes," you suddenly shout.

"I want to look good when I get eliminated," you take a jab at yourself and laugh.

"Nah..." Lola groans, "Don't say that!"

Dani props her chin with her hand and looks at you, "You're going to get that green light tonight," she says.

The boys are back from the workshop not long ago but they're all coming back with paints on their bodies. Chan is still showering and it'll take more time to get dressed.

You're waiting for him by the fire pit, sipping your wine while half-heartedly listening to Pierre, Alicia, and Olivia talking.

As you're sipping on your second glass of wine, Chan comes and holds his hand out at you.

"I believe we have to talk," he says to you.

You put your glass down and take his hand, feeling more nervous now than before.

"I'm rooting for you guys!" Alicia mutters with an encouraging smile.

Chan takes you somewhere quiet and sits on the bench that overlooks the sea with the reflection of the moon drawn on the surface of the water.

There are still three hours left to the time limit but it's never too early to start and try to open up.

"You want me to start again?" You ask because he's been so quiet even after you both get the privacy to talk.

He cracks a laugh and puts an arm around you, "Yeah, sure."

You lick your lips and try to articulate your feelings as best as you can. You look him in the eyes and just pour your heart out to him.

"I like you. I like that I can be myself around you. You understand me, you put up with a lot of shit to be with me..." you pause to let out a laugh, "I'm happy that we became closer."

Chan can't stop smiling as he listens to you speaking your heart out. You can see the fondness in his eyes and you also hope that he gets the sincerity in your words.

"And I think... this is a good chance for us to talk about how we feel about each other," you conclude.

YOU: I can tell him more things that I like about him but sadly, time is not on our side.

It feels great hearing what you thought about him but at the same time, Chan feels burdened to be as open as you.

He's aware of how much you've shared with him while he gave you so little in return. He owes you a lot and it's time for him to settle that debt.

"You look gorgeous," he starts with a compliment.

You reach for the collar of the baby blue linen shirt he's wearing and compliment him back, "So do you."

You rest your hand flat on his chest and dreamily sigh, "You look good in colors other than black and white, you know that?"

He grins at that and nods, "I'll wear more colors."

"Okay, good," you say with gentle pats on his chest.

It's not time for small talk, time is running out. Chan grits his teeth and starts talking, trying to empty his heart through words.

"I'll be honest with you," he begins.

He sees you swallow air and nods, "Okay."

"I haven't completely opened myself up to you."

"Mm-mmh," you hum in response.

He takes your hand and holds it tightly in his hand, "The last relationship I had..." he refrains from sharing too many details on his past.

"From that relationship, I got myself a trust issue out of it, and as much as I like you, it's hard for me to trust you. I got haunted by my experience with trusting someone with my heart..." Chan takes a moment to collect himself and not lose it completely to his emotions.

"I didn't think that I'd get here and find someone like you in here," he says with a low laugh.

You lowly laugh along with him, "Yeah."

"I feel extremely lucky to find you and I realize now that it's not fair that I compare you with my former partner. She might have caused me a trust issue but that doesn't mean you'll do the same to me," he says.

A smile blooms on your face and he feels your hand in shaking in his hold.

"I genuinely am feeling stronger emotions for you which I haven't felt in a long time," he earnestly says with a sincere smile.

His heart feels so much lighter and emptier now, that only means he has more space for these new feelings he has for you.

Chan's heart is full of warm feelings and other than that, it fills with hopes.

CHRIS: It's been such a long time since I've opened up like this with anyone but it feels so natural with her.

"I like you so much," Chan says while squeezing your hand in his.

It feels good to know that your feelings are reciprocated. You've been tormented inside and you keep it bottled up inside you, now you can let it go.

"I'm so excited for us," he adds with a smile.

Then the chime comes and you glance at your watch to see that it turns green.

You both did it and you didn't mean to cry but your eyes are like bursting dams right now, tears are flowing down your face. He immediately pulls you into a hug.

"I wasn't ready to go home yet," you croak with tears caught in your throat.

"Me too," he says.

He holds you for a moment and whispers into your ear, "Are we going to kiss or what?"

You completely forgot that the rules do not apply and you're allowed to kiss him. You hurriedly wipe the tears on your face with the back of your hands.

Chan doesn't hesitate to kiss you when you believe you look ugly from crying. He leans in and kisses you softly, brushing his lips as if he were telling you how you feel with it.

Your heart is heavy and quivering as it carries so much love inside you. You like him so much and it feels so good, it's so good that it's scary.

When he pulls away from the kiss, Chan holds your face and looks at you, tenderly wiping your eyes with his knuckle.

He's softly laughing as he says, "I can see now that you're just a baby."

He caresses your wet cheeks with his thumb as he fondly looks into your eyes, "just a baby, my baby," he says.

You pout yet smile at his words. There's no use to deny it when he can see everything now.

"My baby girl," he delightfully sighs and presses a long peck on your lips.

Sure you feel relieved you get to stay in the retreat but the best thing about all this is getting to know each other better, emotionally.

"Good job," you tell him with a smile.

"Good job," he says back to you.

YOU: Watching Chris open up and comfortably share his feelings makes me feel like I can understand him now. Also, it makes me fancy him more and more [smiles]

Chan didn’t expect everyone to wait for them to come back from their talk.

The resentment they have is nothing compared to the friendship they have sewn in time with both you and him. They look at him in anticipation of whether he passed the test or not. They're tucked in their beds and watch him as he walks to his bed with you trailing behind him.

"So...?" Pierre asks.

Chan can't contain his excitement anymore, he grins and says, "We got the green light!"

Everyone cheers for him and you, clapping with pride. Jace hurls a cushion at Chan as he shouts, "Congrats, Aussie boy!"

Alicia comes to his bed to hug you, "I told you. I'm rooting for you!"

Dani hugs her pillow in front of her and asks, "So, did anyone say anything?" She asks in curiosity.

"She told me she likes me," Chan answers without the slightest of embarrassed saying it out loud.

"Did you say it back to her?" Pierre asks.

"Of course!" He shortly replies.

You lay on your stomach on the bed, facing everyone, "It was really hard to begin with but he opened up to me."

"Aww..." Lola coo in response then lightly applauds for you.

"At least we don't have to worry about them rulebreaking now," Luke comments.

"Because there's no money to spend to begin with," Pierre adds.

Everyone is laughing the shared pain away. But with the promise that Lana will return some money through tests and you both passed one tonight, everyone gets hopeful again.

CHRIS: I'm so glad we're making progress. I'm so proud of her and me. We both got so far [smiles]

It's like you both got a fresh start at a new life.

Even with zero dollars on the prize fund, you feel happy to get to spend more time with him in the retreat. Yesterday was a torture and that only reminds you to use the time wisely.

But it's not like you can't keep yourself away from him you're smitten, you have butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

After last night, you talk about things deeply and openly, you talk more about your future together that it gets you giddy

You're straddling him on the bed and hovering above him, putting a safe space between your faces. You admire his beautiful face, trailing your fingers on his facial features, eyes, nose, and plush lips that lure you to kiss.

"Now that I'll be coming with you to Australia, where will you take me first?" You ask out of curiosity.

Chan has been resting his hands on your thighs and not letting them go anywhere. He looks up at you and answers, "My home."

You're giggling because your dirty mind can only think of one thing, "So we can—"

"I'll introduce you to my family," he slices through your sentence and takes you aback.

This seems that serious to him and you usually choose to step back when things get this serious, however, you're feeling excited about it instead.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I want them to know about our relationship," he casually says.

"Ooo... relationship," you point out the thing he just said and wonder if it accidentally slipped out of his mouth or he meant it. You bet it's the latter from how he gets so flustered and laughs at it.

"Why? Do you have anything else in mind?" He asks with a sly smile.

You look away from his eyes as he catches on your dirty thought, "You know what I'm thinking."

He sits up on the bed so he can hold you and you wrap your arms around his neck, "Well, before we do all that, I'll lock you in my room and we'll have lots of sex," he murmurs, then places a hot kiss on your neck.

You lowly moan at how his soft lips feel on your skin, sending a tingle down your spine.

"Oh, you have no idea what's coming for you," he seductively whispers with his breath tickling your ear.

He then switches to the other side of your neck and places a longer kiss with his tongue lightly licking the skin, leaving a wet kiss mark on it.

The emotional connection only heightens the sexual tension between you and him yet it feels like you've reached a new level in your relationship.

YOU: It's HARD! I like him so much therefore it's getting harder to resist him.

"Whoa, whoa, what am I walking into," Pierre says as he busted you straddling him on the bed.

Without getting up from his bed, Chan calmly responds with a joke, "There's no harm in losing more money."

"Damn right," Pierre replies with a laugh.

With someone else in the room, the tension is slowly fading out and you get off his lap, sitting next to him instead.

Chan notices that Pierre is smiling at himself and he knows that there must be something.

"What's up?" He asks while putting his arm out so you can rest your head on it.

"Alicia and I are going on a date later," Pierre replies.

"Oh, wow, that's great, man!" Chan offers his hand for a fist bump.

"I'm excited for you, Pierre!" You add with a gleeful smile.

But instead of bumping his fist at him, Pierre collapses onto his bed. It's the first time Chan sees him being this nervous, "Why are you so nervous?"

You're giggling next to him, "You've been sharing a bed with Alicia for so long," you add.

Pierre groans and holds his head with both hands, "Ugh... I don't know."

"Just do you, enjoy it, man," Chan suggests.

Pierre sits on the bed again now, "Yeah, you're right."

He gives Chan his fist bump now then gets up from the bed, "I have to get ready for the date now. See ya!"

"Good luck!" You shout at him before he gets out of the door.

It must be nice to get on a date with you but Chan understands that he has to earn it here. He looks at you and he can see that you're wishing for the same thing.

"We'll get our time," he tells you.

"Yeah," you reply with a smile.

"Come here! Hug me, baby girl!" He pulls you into a tight hug and flips over so you're under him now.

"I want to kiss you," he says as he looks at you.

You put your hand on his lips and glance at it, "We can't. We have to be good."

It's like the roles are reversed now. It's him playing the bad guy now and you're playing the good girl now.

"You're right," he says, he chooses to bury his head in your neck instead.

CHRIS: Lana, we’ve been good so please get us on a date too!

Lana throws a party tonight.

You're tired of guessing what she's trying to celebrate and if she has something behind it. The worst has happened, you want to enjoy tonight.

"What are you wearing tonight?" Chan asks while you're drying your hair.

"Uhm... nothing," you mindlessly answer.

He puts his arm around your neck and playfully puts you in a chokehold, making you laugh in response. He then nuzzles his nose into your hair and asks again, "I want to match my clothes with you."

"Aww... that's so cute, Chris!" Lola comments from the other end of the vanity table while putting make-up on her eyes.

You turn your head around and jokingly say, "Then... wear nothing."

He wraps his hand around your neck and tilts your head to the side so he can bite on your shoulder, "Just tell me what color!"

You're laughing as you try to get his hand away from you but he keeps ticking your neck with his nose. In the end, you both settle with his favorite color, black.

You're fixing the straps of your dress while looking at the mirror in the bathroom and Chan is leaning against the sink, running his eyes up and down your body.

"You're so gorgeous," he compliments with a grin and those cute dimples.

He bites his fist when you check the back of your dress in the mirror by turning your body to the side.

"Gosh, I'm the luckiest," he sighs.

You get flustered and say, "Stop it!"

Pulling him close, you turn him around and make him look at both of your reflections in the mirror. Not going to lie, you like what you see.

You turn to look at him and then say, "Damn! We look good!"

He looks back at you and smiles, "We look good together."

Without warning, he puts his arms around you and carries you out of the bathroom.

The party had just started when Pierre and Alicia were coming back from their date. Everyone is being nosy with their questions yet you can't help to get nosy as well.

"Tell us everything!" Lola demands.

From the look of it, Pierre and Alicia look happy and it makes you just as happy for them, everyone seems to feel the same way as well.

"It was nice. We went on a boat and enjoyed the sunset," Pierre says.

Alicia nods along to his words, "Then there was a funny question at the end," she says, then leers at Pierre.

Pierre cracks a laugh before answering, "I asked her to be my girlfriend."

Dani, being the one invested in the story, impatiently asks, "What did you say, Alicia?"

Alicia leers at Pierre again and smiles, "I said yes."

It's like watching a sports game and the home team scores, sending everyone into a celebration. Glasses of drinks raised to the air for a toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" Jace leads the toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" The rest repeat after him and take a sip of their drinks.

YOU: Well, unlike us... [chuckles] Pierre and Alicia are the most committed couple in the retreat so I couldn't be happier for them.

Instead of being jealous, Chan is happy for Pierre and Alicia.

He's happy to see his closest friend in the retreat happy and it's not like Chan is not happy, he is happy with you. He looks around and they're just as happy even though the prize fund is still at zero.

He holds you close and kisses the top of your head, "I'm so happy."

"Me too," you murmur with your head resting on his chest.

The music abruptly stops and Chan kind of guesses what comes next. There she is, the ultimate cockblocker and party crasher Lana.

Everyone already knows where to go and they drag their feet to head to the cabana. You sit next to Chan, putting one hand around his waist and the other clasped with him, resting it on his leg.

The money is at zero now but that doesn't make everyone less nervous, if anything, there's an anticipation for what Lana is going to announce this time.

Chan's heart skips a beat the second the cone lights up, signifying her arrival. She skips on greeting everyone and calls for both of your names.

You look at each other to exchange a mix of panicked and confused looks.

"On your previous test, you were able to access your true feelings for each other, proving to me that your connection is more than skin deep," Lana says.

That's good news and the applause everyone is giving toward both of you confirmed it.

"However, actions speak louder than words."

Chan hates it when that word comes in the sentence: 'however' because that means, Lana has bad news to tell.

"Tonight, you will both be put to the ultimate test, a night in the private suite."

Remembering that you both failed on the same test and knowing you both have to go through it again. Chan feels the pressure already and he sees you wince in response to that.

"If you refrain from breaking any rules, you will win back $100,000 for the group."

Everyone is cheering at the amount of money you can win back from it but your last failure reminds them not to haste to celebrate.

Chan notices a few pessimistic faces among the group and he understands that. But he knows that it's time he pays everyone back for the damages he did to the prize money.

"We'll try to win back the money for you guys," Chan earnestly says with you nodding along in agreement to his words.

"Please, make your way to the suite!" Lana orders.

He offers his hand to help you get up from the sofa and keeps holding your hand.

Jace nods at Chan to encourage him, "Don't mess up, 'kay? You got it!"

"Wish us luck!" You say to everyone for the last time.

CHRIS: This is it. This is the big, ultimate test.

The second you both enter the private suite, you throw yourself at him.

Thank goodness that he is quick to catch you and steadily holds you against him to keep you from falling. You loop your both hands around his neck and warmly hug him.

You pull away to look at his face, "We can do it," you murmur with a soft kiss on his cheek.

He returns the kiss but his lips land on your jaw instead, "for that to happen, we shouldn't have a bath."

You pout at him and say, "But I still need to have a bath. I'm dirty."

"You are dirty," he says with a sly smile.

You narrow your eyes at him and put your forehead against his, "Are you dirty?"

It's like a deja vu watching you get undressed in front of him, doing it so confidently like he isn't there and looking at your enticing body with dark, lustful eyes.

"You can join me or..." you nonchalantly say as you step into the tub.

"You can just watch," you continue as you lower yourself into the water, flashing him a naughty smile as you lean back in the tub.

Chan has seen and experienced this scene before but he doesn't like how it ended. This is why it's called a test, see if he can take it and come up with a better result than before.

"Atta, boy!" You exclaim as he starts to take his clothes off.

You intently watch him taking every piece of clothing on his body until there's none left. Your eyebrow raises as your eyes flick down there.

"Hi, there," you playfully talk to his semi-hard member.

Everything about you evokes the rebellious side of him, he just wants to do whatever he wants and pleases. He reminds himself that he needs to control himself and the money that he can win back from doing it.

With one foot down in the tub, Chan can already feel the heat of the moment.

CHRIS: When it's just the two of us the sexual tension goes...[Sighs] It's high!

Jumping onto the bed, you crawl over to get something from the tray of sex toys on the bedside table.

You know which one you want to get and take it with you as Chan dives onto the bed next to you. You waste no time straddling him, "Put your hands above your head!"

He ignores your order and laughs at you instead. He chooses to disobey you so you take both his hands and put them above his head, you cuff them with handcuffs.

"I'm sorry," you tell him with no hint of regrets whatsoever in your apology.

You look at him and smile in satisfaction that he's laying helpless underneath you.

"You've been very, very bad, Chris," you say in a low, sultry voice and run your fingertips down his bare chest.

He takes a deep breath and looks back at you, "I've been bad, so?" He dares you with a smirk.

As expected, he will disobey you and dare you to do things to him. He's enjoying it and you're more than willing to play along.

You crawl over to the side and use the opportunity to bring your ass close to his face while you take another sex toy from the tray.

You sit down on his crotch, intentionally hard, and enjoy the low groan he lets out. You show him the long, leather whip in your hand.

You put the end of the whip under his chin and used it to tilt his head to look at you, "Do you admit to being a bad, bad boy?"

Instead of answering, he bites his lips and fiercely looks at you. Taking him off guard, you slap his chest with the whip.

"Answer me!" You order.

He slyly smiles and refuses to answer again. You start to slap his chest and abdomen with the whip, making heart-shaped marks on his pale skin.

You decide to get off him and lay on your side next to him, "I'm going to keep doing it until you answer me," you taunt him as you drag the end of the whip down his thigh.

You lean into the side of his face and lowly whisper into his ear, "Answer me, Chris."

He shakes his head and you immediately land a slap on his inner thigh twice that he gasps in response. Feeling mischievous, you slip the whip under his boxer and rub him there.

"Will you answer me now, mmh?" You ask.

He catches you off guard now, rolling on the bed and putting his body on top of you. He buries his head deep in your neck while kissing you there.

"Oh..." you breathlessly moan as he bites on your neck.

Chan is always afraid to put his whole weight on you but you don't want to have it another way, so you put your legs around him and let him collapse on top of you.

He looks at you but his eyes are centered on your lips, "Do you want to kiss me, mmh?"

He alternates it by placing kisses along your jaw and finishes it with a sweet kiss on your cheek, "Actually, there are a lot more things I want to do to you."

YOU: Our prize fund is zero so that means there's no money to lose... [bites lips]

Chan keeps his handcuffed hands in front of him as you unlock it for him. He puts it back on the bedside table and sees you still straddling him.

He pats the space next to him, "Come here so we can cuddle!"

You shake your head and put your hands on his chest, "No, I like it here. I like sitting on top of you," you say with your eyes enchanting him to gaze back at them.

He puts his hands on your thighs, fingers teasing the hem of the short sleeping dress you're wearing, "Is this your favorite position?"

"Uh-huh," you answer and put your hands to hold your hair in a makeshift ponytail.

"You want to be on top, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm good when I'm on the top," you tell him with your head slightly tilted to the side and your lips curl into a naughty smile.

"Is that true?" He asks, allowing his hands to move up to your waist and hold you there.

"I can show it to you," you dare him.

Seeing you straddling him like this only gives him the glimpses of what you'd like fucking him and he bet it'd be so good. Swear his cock twitched just now from remembering how good it is inside you.

Now you're sitting on his crotch and there's only a layer of clothing that separates him from what he wants, he believes you can feel how his cock is achingly hard for you.

"Maybe next time," he kindly refuses no matter how much his body wants to scream yes.

"Why not now?" You ask with a low giggle.

You make it so hard for him that he has to lift you off him and lay you down next to him. Without giving you time to escape, he puts his arms and legs around you, limiting the things you can do around him.

"Stop teasing me," he presses a wet, long kiss on your cheek.

You helplessly try to get out of his hold while giggling but failing.

"Baby," you softly call.

You hold his chin in your fingers and turn your head at him, "I want to sleep naked tonight."

CHRIS: The longer they let us alone together, the more I want to do things to her [raises eyebrow]

Even after the morning comes, it doesn't mean that the test has been done yet.

Somehow, you wake up naked and find yourself snuggling to Chan who's just as naked. You don't want to force your brain to work just yet.

It seems like he's awake already as he puts his hand on your back and runs his fingers down your back, light and fluttering, lulling you back to sleep.

Realizing that the test is not over yet, he gets away from you only so he can lay next to you and easily places kisses on your bare back.

You delightfully hum every time his full lips make contact with your skin, warm and soft, making you tingle inside.

"You're so beautiful," he hums.

He then starts another trail of kisses from the nape of your neck and down your spine. He stops before he gets tempted to go lower than your waist.

"So soft, so beautiful..." he sighs with so much frustration as if he saw something he couldn't perceive.

Chan decides to prop both hands on each side of you and kisses your neck as he's hovering above you, waking you up with sweet, gentle kisses.

"Wake up, baby," he softly calls you.

Wanting more than just kisses, you pull him close so you can feel him whole, his body on your body, skin-to-skin. It feels rather more intimate than sex.

He puts all of your hair away to the side so he can pepper your shoulder with kisses, "Morning," he says in between kisses.

You smile with eyes closed and croak, "Morning."

There's not much time left in the private suite and you both have to face everyone soon.

"How are we going to tell them?" You meekly ask him, feeling the anxiety already.

He gently caresses your cheek with his knuckle, "I'll do the talking," he simply answers.

You overlap his body with yours and put your arm across his chest, "Can't we just stay here?" You innocently ask with a low laugh.

"We can stay a little longer," he consoles you with a kiss on your forehead.

As much as you want to stay, it's time to face the truth once more.

YOU: Last night was... special. The best night I ever had in the retreat. [smiles]

While holding Chan's hand, you wake slow walk on the way back to the villa, and meet everyone in the bedroom.

Everyone is looking a bit antsy even though they're still in their beds. They stop talking once they notice you're back from the private suite but they seem to be scared to ask the important question.

Chan gestures to you to sit on the sofa instead of on the bed next to the table where Lana is sitting still so prettily.

Before Chan can open his mouth and speak, Lana gets ahead of him, chiming on the table next to you.

"Last night, you faced your ultimate test," Lana skips the morning greeting and goes straight into business.

"As a couple, if you could refrain from breaking any retreat rules, the prize fund will be increased from $0 to $100,000."

You grimace at that because anything could happen at this point.

"However..."

Lola gasps at the mention of that word and hides behind the duvet. It's your turn to gasp as Lana calls your name.

"Even though you were successful in sexually arousing Chris, he was able to hold firm and respect the rules of my retreat."

Applause and cheers erupt from every corner of the room. You hate that Lana exposed you for what you did in the private suite but it won't stop you from celebrating as well.

"Which means that the prize fund now stands at $100,000," Lana updates.

More cheers and whistles are coming from everyone at the announcement that you both gained half of the total prize money back.

"I am so proud of you, babe!" Dani says to you.

You blow her a kiss as a token of gratitude and look at Chan, he's looking as proud as you are.

"This is what I call growth," Pierre comments with a smile.

"Yeah, that's true," Lola agrees.

Everyone gets quiet as Lana continues talking, "As a reward for showing restraint and putting the interest of the group above your own, you will be going on a date."

You turn to look at Chan and smile, feeling so proud of both of you. You look around the room and ask, "Can I hug him, now?"

They are all laughing before answering, "Yes."

You walk up to Chan and he welcomes you into his arms, holding you so tight while lifting you off your feet.

It feels good to do good and get rewarded for it, you lean close to murmur, "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm so proud of us," he says back with a kiss on your cheek.

YOU: The last few days have been so hard for us so I think we deserve this date and I'm just so excited [grins]

To be honest, Chan is nervous.

Yes, he's happy and excited for the date. What he's worrying so much about is the talk he'll be having with you and he wants to make sure that he gets his emotions across.

It's important that you know his feelings for you.

His face lights up as you walk toward him, he helps you board the boat to get to the other small island where the date will be.

"Gorgeous," he sweet compliments as he brushes your hair and tucks it behind your ear.

"Thank you, baby," you mutter and take his hand to hold it.

The two of you take a short walk to where the date has been prepared, a cute little picnic with a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice which Chan can easily pop open.

"Mmh... My man is so strong," you playfully praise him.

You take one of the champagne flutes so he can fill it for you, "What are toasting to?"

He thinks for a moment, "Mmh... for passing the ultimate test?"

You chuckle and nod in agreement, "For passing the ultimate test!"

You both clink your glasses together and take a sip of the bubbly wine.

CHRIS: We both know that we have a strong physical chemistry between us but I need to know if we have a strong connection as well. I want this to last.

The sun is slowly sinking into the horizon, painting the sky with stunning bursts of flaming gold colors.

Even Chan is here, in one of the most beautiful places he's ever been, he thinks that what makes it so special is because he's with you.

"Have you realized that it's been me and you since day one?" Chan asks.

You fix your hair and prop one hand next to you, "Yeah," you answer while nodding.

"We've been going through such... a long journey," he says, emphasizing how rough it has been for the two of you.

You nod again and softly laugh, "You know, with other people, I would push them away and keep moving forward. I never once in my life thought I would find 'that someone'."

This is why he's comfortable around you. He shares a piece and you share one piece of you too, it's never going one way with you. Everything is fair and he thinks this is what good communication is.

"As you know, the last relationship I had... it was ugly but in here, in this retreat, I learned how to confront my emotions and open up to someone," Chan shares his piece of him with you.

You're looking at him with eyes that match the soft smile on your face while tucking away the hair getting blown by the wind.

"Also, this retreat helps me put things into perspective," he continues, "I'm able to show sides of myself that I didn't know I had."

You take a sip of your drink and nod again, "Just like I said when people get into my space, I'd normally push them away."

You put your drink away before continuing, "But the fact that I met someone that I like... that makes me feel emotional and vulnerable."

Chan would be lying to say your words aren't making him feel the slightest bit emotional as well. He can feel the sincerity in your words, they are pure and heartfelt.

"I wonder if we're compatible moving forward in the outside world," you finish.

He takes your hand and holds it in the space between you and him. He then clears his throat before speaking.

"Now it's time where I can tell you and it would be wrong for me not to say this..."

His heart hurts as every bit of emotion is getting squeezed out of him into words but he wants to tell you everything, baring it out for you so you know his true feelings for you.

He looks into your eyes, it gives him the confidence to go on and say, "I genuinely do love you."

You close your eyes and break into laughter, it's not the reaction he hoped for but he waits for you to say something.

"I can't believe I came here and fell in love..." you say with a sheepish laugh.

You stare into his eyes and squeeze his hand as you say, "I love you too."

It feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off his chest. He thought he would be bound and confined the moment those words were out of his mouth, instead of that, Chan feels like he's been set free.

CHRIS: When I arrived here, I didn't mean to meet a girl and tell her I love her. I'm a changed man and it's because of her [smiles]

Seeing him happy makes you happy.

The happiness only doubled knowing that the feelings go both ways. Never in a million years have you ever thought you would be falling in love with a guy like him.

Chan is a gentleman, he's kind and sweet, he's very thoughtful and caring, and he has everything that you're not looking for in a man.

But he changed you and made you realize that you deserve a better man. Meeting him and being with him is a blessing like a star falls right onto your lap.

"I always told myself I'm better single and do my things, but with you, I feel safe, comfortable, and powerful at the same time," you let your thoughts out loud to him.

You swallow air to not let the tears get in the way of you speaking your heart out to him, "The best thing is, with you, I feel more reassured and that's something that rarely happens."

The way he's looking at you now is the most beautiful view you've ever seen and you want to imprint it in the back of your head. You also want to bottle this precious moment so you can treasure it for life.

Chan has been quiet for a moment then he lets out a sigh, "I feel like I've won the lottery," he says.

This has been a long journey but you're grateful that you come out of it together, stronger and on top of that, in love more than ever.

Both of your watches chime at the same time and you glance to confirm that it's green.

"Oh?!" You look at him with a surprised face.

Chan smiles and crawls over to you, "Thank you, Lana!" He shouts.

The kiss feels special and it's ultimately because this kiss marks the beginning of your relationship, the first one of many, and hopefully, the start of a long-lasting relationship.

YOU: I'm the... [squeals] I'm the happiest girl in the world [gleefully smiles]

Everyone else is already sleeping when the two of you decide to sneak out to have one final swimming lesson.

Again, it's not a lesson and you both promise to not spend any money. You're doing it as tonight is the last night of the retreat.

Nothing is going to change even when the show is over but it doesn't stop you from feeling sentimental about it.

"It's going to be weird not waking up next to you," you sadly say as Chan hugs you from the back.

He rests his head on your shoulder with his hands wrapped around your waist, "You'll be coming home with me, remember?"

You nod but what you actually meant is how the outside world would be different than here. We have the stupid rules here but everything is much simpler and happier here, you're afraid of losing it all once you step out of this retreat.

"I'm just glad we won back the money," you say, shifting it to a much brighter topic.

"Or else we wouldn't have money for our flights home," Chan jokes.

Your shared waves of laughter are making ripples on the surface of the pool water.

"Who is going to win the money though?" You ask in genuine curiosity.

Chan shrugs in response to your question, "Definitely not us," he says.

Considering that the two of you are the big spenders in the retreat, you wouldn't even dare to think that there's the possibility of winning the prize money too.

To be able to come home with a man you are deeply in love with is already a big win for you.

YOU: I don't care about the money. I got what I want, I got my man [smiles]

"Good morning, friends!" Lola cheerily greets everyone the second the lights turned on.

Staying up until late last night causing him to feel sleepy, he keeps sleeping with his head buried in the pillow. He can feel you slipping your hands around him to spoon him from behind.

"Morning, Channie baby," you softly call him by his Korean name.

He told you about it last night, the name only his family and his close friends are allowed to call him with that name.

You are, of course, more than allowed to call him that. It feels strange to hear it at first but he likes the sound of it, especially the affectionate tone you're using.

He takes your hand and kisses it, putting it close to his chest as he tries to get a few more minutes of sleep. The sound of the melodic chime is enough to make him refrain from going back to sleep.

"Good morning, everyone!" Lana greets, sounding exceptionally kind even though she speaks in the same robotic voice.

"Morning, Lana darling!" Claire replies with a cracked voice.

"Welcome to the last day of the retreat," she announces.

Everyone sadly groans which is quite shocking compared to the first day of the retreat, now everyone is not wanting to leave.

His head snaps at you and it reminds him to soak up every minute left in this retreat with you.

"I will be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana further announces.

Everyone's ears perk up at the announcement, finalists in 'plural', which means there is more than one candidate to win the prize money.

Everyone else is secretly guessing who's going to win it but with his bad record, Chan chooses to sit back and wishes everyone the best of luck.

"It's the last day!" Luke remarks, still in disbelief of it.

"Let's make it the best one!" Dani adds as she yawns into her hand.

"And let's spend the whole money today," Chan jokes even though he's slurring his words.

"Funny, Aussie boy!" Jace says as he tosses a cushion at him.

CHRIS: I fully trust that Lana will choose the right person to win the money and I'm okay that I'm not it, Lana, I have no hard feelings [laughs]

"It's the last day so I'm going to wear the tiniest bikini."

Chan hears what you're saying since he's in the dressing room to take something out of his closet.

"Oh my, Gosh!" He responds to what you're saying.

You're chuckling and look at him as he stands across the room, "I'm putting another test on you."

He walks over to your chair and puts his hand around your neck, that way he can angle your head as he pleases. He attacks one side of your face with small kisses.

"Stop being so cute," Claire says as she hollowed her cheeks to apply some colors to them.

"Yeah, stop it before you spend some money," Alicia playfully adds.

Chan lets you go because he needs to go to the bathroom to style his hair, he finds Jace in there, putting his long blond hair into a small bun.

"Who do you think is going to win?" He asks.

It's the third time someone asked him the same question and he'll remain diplomatic about his answer, "Whoever wins I'll be happy for them."

Jace respects his answer and does not further press him to give a name but Chan gets curious about his answer.

"Who do you think?" He turns the table to him.

Jace sits on the edge of the tub and watches as Chan combs his hair in front of the mirror on the sink.

"I think it's you, Aussie boy."

Chan snorts in response, he figures that Jace wants to entertain him with his answer.

"Hey, the one who made a lot of mistakes is the one that is most improved," he defends his answer, proving that he's actually serious about his answer.

"Yeah, nah, I don't think it's me, mate," he refuses his answer to entertain the idea that he has a chance to win it.

"That's just my opinion," Jace says with a nonchalant shrug.

CHRIS: If it were up to me, I think everybody would win here but it's not, it's up to Lana. [Shrugs]

It's the time in the cabana again.

You're sad that it's going to be over soon but God! You're so glad that soon you'll not be hearing that melodic chime again. It's like hearing a soundtrack to a horror movie.

"Hello, everyone!"

"Hey, Lana," you reply, suppressing your anxious groan coming out of your mouth.

"I have been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," Lana informs.

You can't tell what everyone is feeling right now, it's a mix of anticipation, anxiety or relief, sadness or happiness, everything is there.

"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development."

You wince at the mention of the word 'was' and it brings back your not-so-finest moments in your head.

"The prize fund stands at $100,000."

"Whoo!" Lola whoops, "That's a lot of money, baby!"

"And it was very hard to gain," Chan playfully comments, sending everyone into laughter.

"Like literally," he adds.

You cover his mouth with your hand to stop him from embarrassing himself more and let Lana continue.

"There are three places in the final."

Now everyone is assessing each other for their possibilities to win the money. You're definitely not going to make the cut with how much you spent in the retreat.

YOU: It's clearly not going to be us. We're the antagonists in this show [chuckles]

"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown personal growth during their time at the retreat."

Oh, wait? Personal growth?

If we're talking about personal growth, everyone can see how much Chan has grown since the first day of the retreat. People would think that it's a biased opinion but you believe that Lana sees it, or you hope so.

"The first finalist is..."

You're secretly praying that Chan's name gets called, it's not much about winning, he deserves to be in the final with the journey he's been through in this retreat.

"Pierre and Alicia."

It's kind of expected and everyone is clapping for them because they deserve it. You watch as they're hugging each other and looking so cute it makes you cooing adorably.

"The second finalist is..."

You continue to pray in your heart for one name to be called by Lana, you even have your hands clasped together and close your eyes as you deeply wish for it.

"Jace and Lola."

Again, everyone is clapping because they're genuinely made for each other, they complement each other in a way like no other.

"The third and final finalist is..."

For the last time, you wish and pray as hard as you can in your heart. You never wished for something this badly so for the first time in your life, please let—

"Chris."

Your mouth hangs open in response while he pulls you into a hug. You're at a loss for words for a moment until he pulls away from the hug.

You get teary as you see him standing up to take his place on the final, feeling so proud of him and the man he has become.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, one of you will walk away with $100,000."

Chan offers his hand at you so you can hold it while he's standing up in front of you. You can't fight the tears that are already pooling in your eyes.

"And the decision will be made by the remaining guests."

"Oh, my God!" You quietly gasp while dabbing the tears in the corner of your eyes.

"Will the shortlisted guests please leave the cabana while the voting takes place," Lana orders.

Chan bends down to hug you since he has to leave. He presses a long kiss on your cheek and caresses your cheek, "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

You nod with a smile, "Okay."

YOU: Oh, I don't care if people think that I am being biased but I saw his growth, every day in this retreat. My vote is going to Chris.

The dressing room is crowded because everyone is getting ready for the last party in the retreat. Everyone is wearing white per the dress code announced by the staff.

Chan pulls you to the bedroom to have some alone time before he gets to be separated from you because the finalists have their special entrance to the party.

He sits down at the end of the shared bed and then pulls you down onto his lap.

"I can't believe that I'm one of the finalists, it's... mad!" He says in disbelief.

You put your hands around his neck and look at him, "You deserve it, baby."

He takes a deep breath as though he was swimming in deep water. He then runs his hand in your hair and affectionately brushes your hair.

"Whatever happens, I'm happy, I'm winning," he says.

You nod.

"I'm going home with a girlfriend," he shyly says with his dimpled smile.

That gets you flustered as well and it seems like it has just sunk in you that you're dating him now, "oh, shoot, I have a boyfriend now," you say with a shocked laugh.

He hugs you as you both laugh at the sudden realization, he buries his head in your neck to drink in the scent that gives him a sense of comfort.

He allows his hands to trace down your sides and adores every curve of it, "Mmh... You look stunning tonight," he praises.

"Spin for me," he demands.

You get off his lap and elegantly raise your hands above your waist before spinning around on your feet to show him the whole look.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"Oh, love it!" He answers with a dramatic, overwhelmed eye roll.

You sit on his lap again and let him rest his head on your chest, on the soft mounds of your clothed breasts. There are only hours left until the retreat ends but his hands are already getting impatient as they're teasing the zipper of your dress.

"Can't wait to take this off of you tonight," he murmurs with his lips grazing your cleavage as he speaks.

You're lowly humming in response and cradle his head close to your chest, "Anything you want," you tell him.

Those words are sending his mind wandering off and away from his head. He's not thinking about the money at all, all he can think about are the things he wants to do to you.

"You can do anything you want later," you say again with your fingers softly scratching the back of his hair.

"Now that's a real prize," he says with an enthusiastic smile.

CHRIS: Winning or not, I'm leaving in love [smiles]

You sit next to Claire and Nick as the rest of the guests are waiting for the finalists to come and join the party.

"It's sad, isn't it?" Dani says with a sad smile from the other bench.

"It's coming to an end, yeah," Claire shares with a pout.

You've been meaning to not feel sentimental about it but now everyone is feeling the same way, you can't help but have your say about it.

"It's bittersweet, you guys," you say.

Everyone is nodding in agreement and Luke initiates a toast to start the last party in the retreat. The talk continues with everyone sharing their memories here, happy, sad, or funny ones, also everything in between.

Mac has to abruptly stop talking as the finalists are about to enter.

A round of applause welcomes all five of them. First is Pierre and Alicia, and following behind them are Jace and Lola. Last but not least is your number one man, Chan.

You scoot on the bench to make space for Chan to sit on and welcome him with a hug.

"Missed you," you murmur even though you have only been separated from each other for less than an hour.

He caressingly kisses your cheek and puts his arm around you, you reckon he needs the comfort from how nervous he looks right now.

"Got all my fingers crossed for you," you whisper to him.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh!" You answer without a beat and grin at him.

You hold his face by the jaw and place a kiss right on his dimple, hurriedly wiping the lipstick mark with your thumb after.

The melodic chime comes from the cone and it's going to be the last you hear of her, Lana.

"During your time at the retreat, I have observed you all commit to the process, acknowledge your failures, and show significant change."

You nod and smile, "Thank you, Lana!" You sincerely say from the bottom of your heart.

"The time has now come to announce the winner of the $100,000 prize."

You put your heads together and hold each other's hands on his lap, letting go of everything all at once, and no matter what happens, you are happy with each other.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, please stand!" Lana orders.

YOU: At the end of the day, I'm leaving as a changed person and I'm in a relationship with a man I love. And that's something I have never imagined in a million years. [Brightly smiles]

Chan isn't that optimistic he would win the money.

Yet he feels so nervous Chan has to take a deep breath before getting up from his seat without letting go of your hand.

"You got it, baby," you mutter to him with a squeeze on his hand.

He peers over his shoulder to look at you and flashes you a grateful smile.

"Your fellow retreat guests have voted," Lana continues with the announcement.

Chan looks at the other finalists, at Jace and Lola, and the other way, at Pierre and Alicia. He never thought he would be considered as one of the finalists, he's still in denial about it.

"The person in third place is..."

His heart is beating faster and faster he starts to wonder if he's going to have a cardiac arrest.

"Jace and Lola," Lana announces.

Chan's head snaps in the direction of Jace and Lola who are embracing and congratulating each other despite they do not win the money.

CHRIS: I'm on the top two... [deeply inhales] not expecting this at all. If I win, it wouldn't be my own because she played a big part in my growth in the retreat.

Lana doesn't give him time to relax as she continues to the next announcement.

"Pierre and Alicia, Chris, one of you has been chosen to check out of the retreat with the prize fund."

He squeezes your hand in his hand hard enough that his knuckles turn white. He needs it, he needs something to hold on to.

"The winner who will be leaving with $100,000 is..."

Who doesn't want that much money? But honestly, it's not going to be a loss if he didn't win it. It's been one hell of a journey and an emotional one, he made friendships and experiences of a lifetime here.

"Pierre and Alicia."

He did end up not winning the money but he doesn't feel like losing at all. He's reeling from it and only aware of himself when you hug him so tightly.

CHRIS: Couldn't be happier for Pierre and Alicia.

YOU: [Nods] Yep, they definitely deserved it.

"Congrats, you two!" Chan takes his turn to congratulate the winning couple.

"So happy for you, man!" He says as he gives Pierre a big hug.

The celebration continues with them popping open bottles of champagne and spraying everyone with it. You hide behind Chan as Pierre is aiming the bottle at both you and him.

"You're dripping!" You exclaim, seeing his face sticky and wet with white wine.

You help by wiping it with the back of your hand while he brushes his hair to the back.

Chan looks around and sees that everyone is having fun and happy, there's nothing he wishes more than his. It's a memory he'll treasure for life.

Everyone settles back to their seats as Lana has one announcement left.

"Your time at the retreat is over and therefore, the rules no longer apply."

Chan is turning to you but you're looking the other way, you walk over to the other side and he sees that you're coming over to someone.

Chan and Luke can only laugh as you share another kiss after the retreat ends with Dani.

Luke has to pull Dani away from you to not let the kiss continue while Chan pulls you from behind.

"Okay, that was hot," He says with an impressed smile.

He puts his arms around you and pulls you close, "But it's my turn now."

You giggle at him and waste no time to kiss him, opening your mouth to let him kiss you deeper, relishing the craving he has for the taste of your lips.

CHRIS: We never thought we'd get this far.

YOU: [Nods] Yeah.

CHRIS: [Looks at you] I'm proud of you.

YOU: [Shyly smiles] And I'm so proud of you!

The sounds of the fireworks going off startle you and you both turn around to see them lighting up the sky in bright, colorful sparks.

He's hugging you from behind as everyone else is also watching the wondrous view. His heart feels full yet he wants more of it, he knows that the only way he can get more of it is by sharing it.

Chan brings his mouth close to your ear and says, "I love you."

You turn around to look at him with a confused look on your face, "I'm sorry what?"

It's the explosive sounds of the fireworks and the music playing that make it hard for you to hear what he said the first time.

He raises his voice a little louder and says again, "I love you."

"What?" You raise your voice even louder than him against the constant explosion in the distance.

Chan laughs because it reminds him of the first day you met. He can tell you're not pretending to not hear it this time, he tries again by pressing his mouth close to your ear with his hands cupping around his mouth, "I love you!"

You coo at him in response and turn around to face him, "I love you too."

He captures your lips in one long, lingering kiss and lets out everything in him, freely and intensely. He's not afraid to let go now because he knows that's the only way to love you fully.

And no one can stop him, not now, not ever.

CHRIS: No more Lana. No more rules.

YOU: [Looks at Chris] And that means...?

CHRIS: Get in here!

YOU: [Kisses Chan] [Moans]

CHRIS: [Let go of the kiss] [Looks at the camera] Can I go now? Cause she needs to be f—

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vampirestookmydoubts · 4 months

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The Prince's Debutante - Series

A/N: This is a series based and written on the ideas of @aninhatatu, I'm just the messenger, haha. Once again, thank you very much for the chance to bring your idea to life and for being the first person to proofread my texts, haha!

Prince Friedrich deserves all the love.

Summary: As the daughter of a disowned marquis and a common maid, you enter your debut season under the watchful eyes of your grandmother, hoping for a humble suitor, to secure your family's future. But your plans change when Prince Friedrich falls for you, sparking an unexpected romance.

Will you and Friedrich be able to find a way to unite love and duty, as you navigate the complexities of society? Or will your blooming love succumb to your family's different expectations and societal scrutinies?

Pairings: Prince Friedrich x Reader

Warnings: none

Chapter 1: A Debutante's Dilemma

The early morning light filtered through the delicate lace curtains right into the bedroom, casting intricate patterns on the wooden floor. You sat at your vanity, fingers trembling slightly as you tried to arrange your hair in the latest fashion. Today was the day you had awaited with equal parts dread and anticipation: you debut in London’s society. As the eldest daughter of your parents, your introduction to the ton was fraught with complexity.

Your father, Jonathan Withlock, was the son of the marquis of Thornewood, leading a comfortable life as a member of the rich and noble ton of London. Your mother, Moira, on the other hand, wasn’t part of the glamorous society your father used to mingle with. In contrast to his noble status, she was just a mere maid; and, to make matters worse, a Catholic Irish immigrant, who came to England to find a better life for herself after the death of her parents.

When your parents fell in love and eloped, despite their different social statuses, one could only imagine the uproar that went through Thornewood Manor and London’s high society. And, naturally, with that came your father’s disownment from his family, losing his title and money. But despite losing everything that came with his name, as well as the future title of marquis, your father always told you and your two younger siblings that he never regretted choosing your mother.

The only reason you were to be presented to the queen and to the ton today was your father’s employment as the king’s new physician. Through old friends and his talents as a physician to other noble men, the queen herself got word of your father’s competence. As a reward for his good treatment and discretion when it came to her husband, the king, she awarded your father a minor title.

Your mother, Moira, a woman with a fierce spirit, entered your room quietly. Sh approached you, her eyes softening as the got the sigh of your anxious reflection in the mirror. “Y/N, you look lovely,” she said, her voice a soothing balm to your nervous mind. “Do not worry. Today is the beginning of something exciting and wonderful.” You smiled weakly. “I am not worried about today. It is the entire season that frightens me. What if no one pays me any attention? Or worse, what if they do?” Moira placed a gentle hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you. “You, my love, are intelligent, kind, and beautiful. Any man would be fortunate to have you.” You nodded, trying to draw strength to from your mother’s words. “I just wish you could present me to the queen. It feels wrong, going with Grandmother.” Your mother’s expression tightened slightly at the mention of her mother-in-law. “I know, darling. But the ton has its rules, and we must abide by them for now. Your grandmother has agreed to help, and we must be grateful for that. Your grandmother, the Marchioness of Thornewood, had gladly offered to present you to the queen, when you mother wrote to her. It was a move driven by her desire to reconcile with her estranged son and, perhaps, alleviate some of the scandal that had marred their family’s name. Despite her outward appearance of haughty indifference, you knew your grandmother harbored a deep sense of pride and duty. Tucking a stray lock of hair back into your updo, your mother squeezed your shoulder again, looking at your reflection in the mirror. “Everything will be alright.”

The carriage ride to Buckingham House was a quiet one. You sat beside your grandmother, Lady Clarece, who regarded you with a critical eye. “Sit up straight, Y/N,” Lady Clarece admonished. “You must look the part of a lady, even if you bloodline is tarnished. You are representing not only your father, but more importantly, the marquis of Thornewood.” You bit back a sharp retort, reminding yourself that this was the woman who held the key to your and your siblings future in society. Instead, you straightened your back and lifted your chin, trying to exude the grace and poise your grandmother expected.

Upon arriving at the palace, you joined a long line of debutantes and their chaperones, all waiting for their moment before the queen. The air buzzed with nervous energy, the scent of perfume mingling with the tension of dozens of young women about to face their societal debut in front of the queen. When your turn came, you felt your heart painfully pound in your chest. With your grandmother next to you, you stepped forward, each step felt both too fast and painfully slow. The grand hall, with its high ceiling s and opulent decor, seemed to close in on you, the present members of society blurring as your eyes fixated on the person at the end of the aisle: Queen Charlotte. The queen, resplendent in her regal and pompous attire, regarded you with a discerning eye. “Miss Y/N Withlock,” the messenger of the queen announced. “Daughter of Sir Jonathan Withlock. Presented by her grandmother, Lady Clarence, the Marchioness of Thornewood.” Your grandmother performed the necessary courtesies, and you followed suit, curtsying deeply and holding your breath, just like the hundreds of times you practiced before. A low murmur went through the crowd. Queen Charlotte’s gaze flickered with recognition at the mention of your father’s name, the renowned physician who had earned her husband’s trust. She gave a barely perceptible nod. “Rise, Miss Withlock.” You straightened your back, meeting the queen’s gaze with as much confidence as you could muster, despite the anxiousness rushing through your veins. The queen’s eyes softened just a fraction, and you felt a glimmer of hope. Perhaps your father’s reputation might lend her some measure of acceptance. “You may proceed,” Queen Charlotte said, dismissing you and your grandmother with a wave of her hand. As you left the palace, your grandmother turned to you, her expression unreadable. “You did well enough, my dear. Now, the real challenge begins.”

The days that followed were a whirlwind of activities. You and your grandmother attended numerous teas, luncheons, and soirées, each event blurring into the next. Much to your grandmother’s satisfaction, you quickly learned to perform the art of polite conversation and the delicate dance of societal expectations. But, despite your best efforts, you remained on the fringes, overshadowed by this season’s more illustrious debutantes like Daphne Bridgerton and Marina Thompson. Something you didn’t mind, if you were honest. One evening, at one of many balls, you found yourself standing by the refreshment table, observing the throng of dancers swaying and waltzing to the music of the orchestra. You sipped your lemonade, suddenly feeling the weight of the season pressing down on you. So far, you had already managed to attract the attention of a few men of modest means, but no one of significant fortune or title. Nor someone you felt a connection with. “Feeling like a wallflower?” asked a familiar voice to your right. You turned to see Penelope Featherington, her kind eyes and warm smile offering a welcome respite from the sea of unfamiliar faces. Penelope - that much you already learned from the latest teas and get-togethers - was also often overlooked, but her sharp wit and genuine kindness had quickly endeared her to you. “Perhaps a bit,” you admitted. “It seems I am not quite like the diamond of the season.” Penelope chuckled. “Not am I, but I find it rather liberating. Less pressure to impress, more freedom to enjoy oneself.” You smiled, appreciating Penelope’s perspetive. “You are right. It is just difficult not to feel overshadowed.” Your conversation was interrupted by a sudden hush that fell over the room. You followed the gaze of the other guests and saw him at the top of the grand staircase: a young man with shiny light blonde curls and a noble aura, that gave away that he wasn’t some common noble man. He was a striking figure, tall and regal, with a presence that immediately commanded attention. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him. For a moment, everything else faded away. He moved through the crowd with an air of confidence, exchanging pleasantries with the debutantes and their chaperones, who swarmed him like moths to a flame. “That must be Prince Friedrich! The queen’s nephew. I heard he’s here to find a wife!” Penelope whispered under her breath in excitement. “He’s even more handsome in person, isn’t he?” You tried to remain inconspicuous, but your heart raced as he drew nearer. You watched as he spoke with Daphne Bridgerton, his smile polite but distant, before moving on to greet others. “Of course he has to exchange pleasantries with diamond of the season,” the redhead next to you mumbled to herself. You could only nod, your eyes following the prince as he continued his circuit around the room. The prince was a dream beyond your reach, and a harsh reminder of the societal heights you could never hope to attain. The moment that thought crossed your mind, your eyes met his across the room. For a moment, everything else faded away. You imagined to see some kind of curiosity in his gaze, and something else - a surprising and unspoken connection send thrills through you.

“Is he coming in our direction? He is coming in our direction, is he not?” Penelope’s nervous squeal brought you back to reality. Before you could evaluate the situation, the prince - who was indeed coming in your direction - came to a sudden halt in front of you. The room seemed to hold its breath as he stood there with a smile that made your pulse quicken. “Good evening, Miss...” he looked at you with a questioning air, a warm smile still painting his lips. Penelope gave you a sudden nudge that broke you out of your trance, and you curtsied quickly. “Miss Withlock, your Highness.” “Miss Withlock.” the prince said, his voice soft and accented. “May I have the honor of this dance?” You barely managed a nod, your voice catching in your throat. “Of course, your Highness.” As he smoothly led you onto the dance floor, your felt a mixture of exhilaration and terror. You had hoped for an easy and unremarkable season, but now you found yourself in the literal center of attention, dancing with a prince while a shocked murmur went through the staring ton. The music swelled around both of you, as the waltz began. “You dance beautifully, Miss Withlock,” Prince Friedrich remarked genuinely, his eyes never leaving yours. “You flatter me, your Highness,” you replied, feeling a searing blush rise to your cheeks. “You are a most graceful partner.” He smiled, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “Please, call me Friedrich. Titles are for formalities, and I would rather this conversation not be so formal.” Your heart fluttered at his words. “Very well, Friedrich. But it would be only fair if you may call me Y/N.” “Y/N,” he repeated slowly, as if savoring the sound of your name on his tongue. “Tell me, how you finding the season so far?” You hesitated, then decided on honesty. “It has been... overwhelming, to say the least. But there have been moments of enjoyment as well.” Friedrich nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I can understand that. These events can be quite daunting, even for those of us accustomed to them.” You continued to dance, the world around you fading into the background with each move. You felt a connection with Friedrich that you couldn’t quite explain, a sense of ease and comfort in his mere presence. “I must admit,” Friedrich said after a moment, “I find these gatherings rather tedious at times. It is refreshing to meet someone who seems to share the sentiment.” You laughed softly. “I imagine being a prince comes with its own set of challenges. Do you often feel out of place?” Friedrich’s eyes darkened slightly. “More often than I care to admit. There is a great deal of pressure to meet expectations, to play a role that is not always true to oneself.” You nodded, understanding all too well. “I can relate. My family’s... history make it difficult to navigate these waters. There are expectations, hopes and judgments that seem impossible for me to escape.” Friedrich’s grip on you tightened slight, a comforting gesture. “I know well what it is to carry the weight of family expectations. But I also believe that we must find our own paths, make our own choices.” You looked up at him, heart pounding at his honesty. “Do you truly believe that, Friedrich? That we can choose our own destiny?” He smiled, a light in his eyes. “Yes, I do. And I believe that it is worth fighting for.”

You danced in silence for a few moments, a feeling of belonging and mutual understanding between growing stronger with each step and twirl. You suddenly felt a sense of hope you hadn’t known before, a belief that perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for something extraordinary in your life. As the music drew to a close, Friedrich led you to the edge of the edge of the dance floor, his gaze never leaving yours. “Thank you, Y/N. This has been the most enjoyable dance I have had in a long time.” “Thank you, Friedrich,” you replied softly. “I feel the same.” Bowing slightly, a smile played on his lips. “Until we meet again.” As he moved away, you abruptly felt the weight of countless scrutinizing eyes on you, and heard the whispering of the merciless ton around you. Lady Whistledown would surely have much to say about this encounter. “Y/N, you were magnificent,” Penelope whispered, pulling you away from the judging gazes, back to you shared spot at the wall. ��He could not take his eyes off you.” You shook your head at her, trying to quell the rising tide of hope and fear. “It was just a dance, Penelope. Nothing more.” But even as you said those words, you knew they rang hollow in your heart. Something had shifted with you - a new, unknown path unfolding before you. The carefully laid plans for an uneventful season were crumbling and, as the evening drew to a close, you felt a mixture of emotions: excitement, fear, and a deep, unspoken yearning.

Back home, as you prepared for bed, your thoughts kept returning to the prince. You wondered if you had the strength to navigate the treacherous waters of the ton. But one thing was certain: your debut had been far from ordinary, and your heart had been irrevocably touched by a prince.

#bridgerton imagine #prince friedrich x reader #prince friedrich #bridgerton #the princes debutante #series #vampirewrites

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whateverisbeautiful · 6 months

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What a joy and an honor to have loved Richonne's epic love story as hard as we could while we could. 🥹

Richonne means so very much to me and always will. To say their story has impacted my life for the better would honestly be an understatement. Rick and Michonne and their journey together from season 3 to TOWL played a part in keeping me going because life gets hard but the love captured between these characters is such an inspiring light that is exquisite and powerful and worth sticking around to behold.

And while 'it feels like it's ending'…it’s like Michonne said - they don’t die and neither does the love we have for them. We’ll be able to cherish Richonne and every single breathtakingly beautiful moment they gave us always. Richonne are the ones who live, the ones who love like no other, and the ones who will eternally hold a special place in my life.

This one-of-a-kind, out-of-this-world, moving beyond-words love story between profound soulmates Rick and Michonne Grimes - two of the greatest characters in media brought to life by the phenomenal Danai Gurira and Andrew Lincoln, two of the greatest actors in the craft - it lives on forever. And for that, I’m truly thankful. 🤍

Rick and Michonne got their happy ending with their precious children. 😭 They won. We won. 🙌🏽🎉

Also! In honor of that deleted picnic scene, (which I would have loved to see make the final cut) I just thought I'd share my little headcanon ending scene. A few days before the towl finale, I had this vision of a Grimes Family picnic moment being the final shot of the show, but of course, my vision includes a Carl cameo to complete the Grimes Family moment. This is what I had written down and imagine as a day for their family now that they're back together as they're meant to be:

Rick and Michonne have another Family Fun Day picnic with their kids. There’s this calm quiet moment where Judith is snuggled up to Michonne happily reading the book her parents brought home for her on the blanket, RJ is resting with Rick’s arm around him, Michonne is nestled by Rick’s side, and then Rick looks out and sees essentially the spirit of Carl standing from afar. Rick and his son share this warm smile as Carl gives a proud nod signaling this is everything he’s wanted for his dad - to feel safe and happy with their family just like Carl wrote to Rick in his letter.

And then Michonne looks at Rick and asks, “You see something?” And Rick just looks in Michonne’s eyes, smiles at her and says a content, “Yeah” before kissing her - finally seeing and experiencing the family he thought he’d lost for good but they’re all with him now. And then it ends with Richonne doing their signature thing of holding hands while enjoying this hard-earned and much-deserved day of peace with their family. 🥰

That, along with the abundance of golden moments we actually got within this miniseries and the main show, is how I'll forever remember my beloved Richonne and their Grimes family. Resilient love personified. It's been an unforgettable journey and I'm grateful for every part of it. Thank you, Andy & Danai. Thank you, Rick and Michonne. Long Live Richonne. 👑

#i'll love them always and forever #thank you richonne #thank you andy and danai #much more to say & revel over in due time - for now i'm just so grateful we got everything & more with the masterpiece that is richonne 🙏🏽#richonne #the ones who live #twd towl #danai gurira #andrew lincoln #grimes family 2.0 #twd towl spoilers #the walking dead: the ones who live #reflecting on richonne #thoughts

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annieqattheperipheral · 12 days

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wooosh. That's me sighing and breathing it out. Couldn't watch the gaudreaus memorial service live while working, just watched it in full on cbj youtube. first off, I'm ever so grateful the family granted us a livestream of this very difficult experience, that they are willing to open their arms to all of us to grieve together. their generosity and love.. wow. I'm in awe of this family. Thank you thank you. It is helping and healing so many of us to be part of this circle of support. thank you.

The priest interwove such beautiful personal memories with the gaudreaus in his sermon, and brought hope and a sense of guidance to steer mourners after such a heartwrenching and sudden tragedy. He welcomed ppl of all different faiths and connected the family to those grieving both there with them and far away. It was a beautiful way to begin the service.

I paused quite a few times during Madeline's and then Meredith's speeches to wipe tears. Meredith's was long but i get it. As she was nearing the end i had this feeling of no don't stop talking because when you end this speech is when we say our last goodbyes to johnny and matty and that's it we all carry on without them. No more Johnny Hockey in the NHL and that cannot be right.

The stories of how Johnny wore meredith's comfy clothing to pregame cracked me up. How he came bounding down the stairs one day in her maternity sweatshirt and she's like noooo take that off and he's like what it fits so well 😂 i cannot!! I can just imagine him preening so proudly lolll. He was so proud of his baby's spit up on his clothes, wore em to the rink. Incredible father and husband. Cannot believe he won't be around to help her through her 3rd pregnancy.

That both of Johnny and Matty's wives are going to go through pregnancy and labour without them. This tragedy is insane. How. How???!!!

I liked hearing about Johnny and Matty's deep deep connection. That Johnny lived an nhl life all season but all he wanted in the offseason was to go sleep in his tiny twin bed next to his brother in his own tiny twin bed in their childhood bedroom. Meredith said she knows so much of the focus has been on Johnny but even in life Matty knew that's how it was and loved his brother for it, was so proud of him.

Sean Monahan... wow wow wow I'm hurting hard for him. Johnny was really excited to play in cbj with him. Omg.

And Kevin Hayes. Goodness. So much heartbreak. Lost yet another brother. The hayeses really took care of Johnny in the nhl.

Guy Gaudreau, their father. The very last shot of the family at the end as they exited the church, following the two caskets out, Meredith followed Johnny's. Madeline and the gaudreaus (parents and 2 sisters) then following Matty's.. Guy was an absolute mess being held up by his wife and daughter. My heart broke all over again.

Spotted a lot of familiar hockey faces in the pews. I hope being there was healing. I know for me, everything felt unreal and confusing until i physically got to see my cousin's casket and then see with my own eyes as she was placed to rest. That connection to reality helped the loneliness and confusion i felt. I wanted to be with her but then my brain could finally give me an answer, she's sleeping in that place where i can go visit.

Ok. well in the pans over the attendees saw cbj, flames, team usa, Matthew Tkachuk, Seth Jones, Cole Caufield, Nikita Zadorov and others.

Well. This coming season is gonna get off to a real sad start and I'm glad we have each other in the lb🫂💕 those home opener tributes are gonna be tough.

#rip #johnny gaudreau #matty gaudreau #matthew gaudreau #columbus blue jackets #calgary flames #annieQ hockey thoughts

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 7 months

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When you think about it, it really is incredibly lucky that OFMD got made at all.

Obviously, we're grieving right now. But the state of streaming is absolute shit right now, and that didn't start overnight. The first season of OFMD was produced at the exact right time for a queer romcom with a lot of poc in the cast to get made at all - even a few years earlier and it probably never would've gotten greenlit in the first place.

And despite HBO giving the show essentially nothing in terms of marketing, the fan reaction was so huge and passionate that we got a second season. Even then, even with budget cuts and time constraints, it was damn good.

Obviously, it sucks right now, but things had to happen exactly right for us to get the two seasons we got, and they did. We've got this beautiful, amazing show, and nothing can ever take that away. I'm glad I decided to sit down in March 2022 to check out that new show I'd heard about; I'm glad you all watched it, too, so we can all be sharing this grief right now.

I'm trying to feel grateful, tonight, that all our times and places happened to work just right so we could experience this together. I'm glad things worked out, in this one little way.

#ofmd #our flag means death

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terriblepersongreatseamonster · 4 months

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(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #thoughts from a plus-size girl #it's surreal #I am more than my weight #representation matters #type 2 diabetes

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darcytaylor · 2 months

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This interview was fun to read! If you have the option of buying it digitally, do it! Having Claudia Jessie be the interviewer to Luke Thompson, it's a dream interview. It was more so a one-on-one chat where they both had questions for each other.

These two clearly get along well because they are similar in a lot of ways. They understand each other in ways that the other Bridgerton cast mates don't, and you can hear the respect they have for one another.

It is clear in this interview that Luke Thompson will be enjoying some much needed time off before season 4 starts filming - now the only question remains is who is going to be the lead. After reading this interview between them, I want them both to be the leads. I can't chose either way. I know that Luke will continue to hone in on who Benedict is as a character (even if the script isn't the greatest), and I know that Claudia will do the same with Eloise.

Claudia is hilarious as always and I love her sarcastic and dry humour. It's the kind of humour I am a sucker for. It's one of the many reasons I find Claudia so charming. In the first page of the interview she joked that it's Luke Newton that she wants to tell things to (she clearly was joking, but it also wasn't meant to be a slight towards Luke Newton) and then joking about how awful of a friend Luke Thompson is by making her do this interview. I love their banter! Very sibling like!

We find out a lot about Claudia in this interview and how grateful she is to be in the position she is today. Being able to act and have it pay her bills. You can also tell she is in a bit of disbelief, that it could all be taken away and she may never get another acting job again. You can tell how humble she is. You can tell how humble both of them are.

One quote that is so relatable to me is when Claudia says "I feel like I belong at home. I belong in my flat, with a book and my dog." - It's very relatable to me, and Luke feels the same about his life. Yay for being introverts!

You can also see the respect that Luke has for Claudia as an actor. Which I think is totally reasonable, since this is the kind of actor she wishes to be, "the kind of actor that people can rely on. I just want to be respected and I want people to be able to count on me... that I won't have any ideas of what I think I deserve." - If that isn't someone that you should be able to respect, I don't know what is. She's humble in a way that most people aren't. She isn't trying to be someone she is not.

Luke wants to be able to do a play with her one day (he believes that Claudia would be great at it). Sign me up for front row tickets if they are ever in a play together!

I'm sure most people watched the Vanity Fair interview of how well Claudia, Nicola, Newton and Thompson know each other. There was one question about Luke Thompson being his own inspiration to start acting. Claudia now understands this because of this interview. I love a full circle moment.

Luke says a beautiful thing about acting and what he has learned. That no one's brilliant on their own. That its both between you and other actors and then you and the audience. Acting is one big exchange and it's weird and magical. I love the way his brain works.

His take on having it be between the actor and the audience kind of forms his idea of how he interacts with roles once they are completed. He hands them over to the fans, letting him detach from them and letting him enjoy it from a distance. I think it's a refreshing take and I'm excited to be handed over his pieces of work when the time comes.

He seems to be preparing (from day one) how he is going to handle being in the spotlight, and I think we will see him handle the rush of fame completely different form all of the other leads. He knows that there will be a lot of exposure on him and he wants to take all of the opportunities that Bridgerton will give him, he wants to take on different roles, he wants to continue acting, but at the same time stay private. He needs to stay private.

But if you take anything away from this interview, know that Luke wants to be tickled conversationally and be stroked literally. ahahahhahahha. I volunteer as tribute!

#luke thompson #claudia jessie #bridgerton

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mondstalgia · 9 months

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BL ships that I will never forget:

In a few weeks it's gonna be 14 years of obsessing over queer media, especially BL, so here are the ships always on my mind in no particular order.

Arata & Shingyouji (Takumi-kun Series 4: Pure, 2010): Listen the Takumi-kun Series from 2007 to like 2011 was my life as a (pre-)teen. In hindsight really sketchy but anyway haha. Those two really caught my eye back then though (especially their racy kisses) and I was happy they got their own bigger part in one of the movies.

Evan & Isak (Skam Season 3, 2016): Was there a queer European teen that wasn't obsessed with this season of Skam? I remember re-watching it so many times I could recite their text without speaking Norwegian. Plenty of beautiful Skam universe parallel couples out there but these two will remain the iconic blueprint.

ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to me, 2023): Almost unfair to put them on here but seeing how I haven't been able to think about any other ship every single day for the last 3 months, I feel like it's justified. They just have everything I want and need to get hyperfixated on.

Seiryo & Yuzuru (Seven Days, 2015): Oh my, the way I loved this silly concept and how funny it was yet they managed to get me all emotionally involved in the span of two movies? Insane chemistry and just..everything I needed back then. Especially since it was then one of the very few BL's I saw without a sad ending.

KornKnock (Bad Romance 2016, Together With Me 2017 - 2018): Listen, plot wise Manner of Death is the absolute height to me but when it comes to MaxTul I will never forget them as Korn and Knock in these series. Forever grateful to all the fanvids that led me to finding my BL fathers. Chemistry forever out of this world. Also shout out to Yiwha, best female character in any BL and my wife.

WinTeam (Until We Meet Again 2019, Between Us 2023): The couple that made me aware of what second lead syndrome was because I waited so long for more of them, it felt eternal. I don't think I will ever get tired of these two.

VegasPete (KinnPorsche, 2022): Who said I couldn't like a toxic ship? These two took me by surprise, I didnt even know they were going to be a ship in the series. Definitely acknowledging how fucked up they are yet at the same time it's the forst toxic ship that really got me. I love them, in my own weird way.

HaoGu (HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, 2019): I mourned them like I have mourned no other couple. I should have known from the title but they really lead me astray. My beautiful boys, the star crossed lovers. They still get me emotional now, I might go cry now.

Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare, 2021 - 2023): Before ChenAi there were Hira and Kiyoi who absolutely owned my heart. I love how misunderstood by BL fans they were who claimed their toxicity. Meanwhile I simply love how weird their relationship is and getting to see a real Tsundere in action. I'm obsessed with them.

Honourable Mention: Kim Jae Wook as Min Sun Woo in Antique Bakery, 2008. The very first gay character I saw in Korean media. Forever iconic, forever in my heart.

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cowboybarzy · 1 year

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unexpected part 3 — mat barzal

tbh I didn’t realize how popular this was with you guys which is why I didn’t hurry to write this next part. but if y’all really love it and give me your thoughts (& even ideas on how to continue) I’m definitely willing to write more!!

word count: 4k

I’m just gonna make this part of my summer series bc they did travel and it gives me an excuse (to literally my brain lol) to post this part now! an insta edit will follow shortly! come along the rest of the trip

📍vancouver, canada with mat barzal this is part of the unexpected series, so if you want to see how we got to this point, read PART ONE and TWO

June

"Sshh, sshh. It's okay, it's okay." Mat's soft voice woke you from a short, but deep sleep. You turned as your eyes fluttered open to see him sat up against the headboard soothing your baby girl. "I'm here. You're okay."

Your hand reached up to cradle her tiny head. "She might be hungry. What time is it?"

"Almost four. It hasn't been that long since you last fed her. But look, she's already falling back asleep." His smile grew and you sat up as well to see her eyes slowly closing. "She's so cute."

"She is." You kissed her head and then leaned against Mat's shoulder. "And so big. One month already."

"It went by so fast. I don't want her to grow up."

The last month since you baby girl, Myla, was born was the most stressful and tiring but also the most beautiful and exciting time. The new sleeping schedule was difficult to adjust to and your recovery was harder than expected. People really should talk about it more. But getting to experience both you and Mat become parents and your baby explore the world was indescribable. She already outgrew her newborn sized clothes and loved being awake looking around the room. She loved sleeping in her stroller while you took her on walks, where you and Mat stopped to get ice cream or coffee. Both of your families had come to visit, too, and of course all of your friends. They loved her and you were so grateful for the amazing support system.

Mat's season had ended a couple of days after Myla's birth, but not after his birthday which you unfortunately had to spend apart. But he was home now and took such good care of the both of you. Although the three of you did spend a lot of time in bed, you made it a goal to go outside for walks at least a few times a week. Your family didn't live far so they were able to visit and you even went to visit them a few times when you felt brave enough to leave the house.

"Oh, my god!" Mats voice brought you back to consciousness. You hadn't realized you were falling back asleep on his shoulder until his voice brought you back.

"What?"

"She pooped. Did you not hear that? That was gr– Oh! Ew! Babe, it's leaking out." He started panicking, then gagged as he held her away from his body. "What do I do? What do I do?"

You laughed, falling back into the pillows as you watched him struggle for what his next move should be. "Babe! This is so gross! Help me!"

"Well, go change her!" You watched him, still laughing, as he carried her with extended arms, trying not to gag again. "It doesn't even smell. There's only one baby in this room and it's not her."

He started undressing her, groaning from the mess she had made. "Oh my god, it's everywhere. How? How is her stomach so big to hold that much?"

You got up to see for yourself, making sure beforehand to take a video of Mat trying to handle this situation. "Yeah, we should give her a bath. That is pretty bad."

"It's the middle of the night!"

"So? She's dirty." You laughed patting him on the shoulder. "Welcome to parenthood."

At one month old, babies couldn't laugh yet, but the noises she made could definitely count as it. So you prepped her bathtub. She was small enough to do it in the sink, so it didn't take long to fill the tub with the right temperature water. When Mat put her in, she started screaming. She hated baths for the most part, but unfortunately she had to get through it. She calmed down after a while, enjoying the little massage you were giving her to get her clean. Mat put his arm around you and kissed the top of your head.

"You know, a year ago I definitely would not have imagined us doing this at 4 a.m., but I wouldn't change it for the world."

July

"Ugh, she's so cute."

"So adorable."

"Her little nose. And those cheeks."

"I love her so much," you said, not being able to look up from where your daughter was sleeping in her stroller. You stood around her with Mat's sister and mother, just staring at her. You were supposed to go on a walk to go get lunch, but for some reason (a very cute and sleeping reason) you still hadn't left yet.

"Me, too. Watch out I might steel her," Liana said jokingly. She hugged you tightly. "Thank you for making me an auntie. I thought I'd have to wait for years."

"You almost had to." You didn't want to call your daughter an accident, because she truly was a blessing, but let's not pretend you were trying to become parents. You both tried to contain your laughs, as their mother was right there.

"Okay, let's go," Nadia broke you two up and took ahold of the stroller, before walked out of the house. You followed her, Liana fighting her mother for the right to push the stroller.

A couple days ago, Mat, Myla, and you made it up to Vancouver to spend a few weeks with his family. Myla just turned two months a few days ago and you finally felt comfortable enough to fly with her. A lot of family and friends came over to see her, but things had finally calmed down a bit.

"So, any wedding plans?," Liana asked, after you had made it to the restaurant and the food arrived.

You raised your eyebrows, a small laugh escaping. "How long have you been waiting to ask me that?" She laughed. "Since last time!" And that was about a year ago when you had told her you were pregnant. Mat shut her down immediately, saying you'd wait until after she was born. "Well...?"

"I don't know," you answered. "We haven't really thought about it."

"Oh, come on. You need to get married! For her and for me!" You laughed and her mother elbowed her. "What? I know it's selfish, but please! It would be the most beautiful wedding, I just know it."

She started gushing about her dream wedding for you, detailing everything from flowers to venue to table cloths. Her mother chimed in, equally as excited about the idea. Normally you would have been too, but for some reason the idea of a big wedding didn't seem exciting to you anymore.

And that's what you told Mat later that night when you were ready to go to sleep while feeding Myla. "Your sister, well and mom, are already making wedding plans, just so you know."

He rolled his eyes. "How many times have I told them it's none of their business?"

Myla was done eating, so you handed her over to Mat so he could burp her. "It's fine. It was kind of fun to talk about and see everything we could come up with. But funnily enough, all my life I've dreamed of a big wedding like that, even just a few months ago I would have agreed to it. But now, I don't know, I don't really want that anymore."

"Really?" You looked up at his green eyes.

"Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather have a small thing, with just family and our closest friends. And baby Myla of course."

"That sounds good to me." He leaned to kiss your forehead with a smile and cradled your baby's head.

"Wanna get married? Might as well, we already have a kid." You said it with a laughing tone, expecting him to laugh as well or brush the topic off like you had done since he first asked you about getting married. But he didn't. He jumped out of bed, put Myla in her bassinet, and left the room.

You sat there, shocked. You didn't expect that reaction as well. You were serious about getting married. A couple weeks after Myla had been born you realized that you were being silly before. Of course you wanted to marry him and you knew that he loved you and didn't stay with your just before the baby.

Thankfully, before you could process what just happened, Mat came back and sat back down next to you. "I'm the one that gets to ask that question!," he said, which is when you noticed the little red box in his hand. You mouth opened in shock. Now that, you definitely also didn't expect. "What? You really think I didn't got out and get you a ring after you said no the first time? Please, you can't get rid of me."

"Mat..." He smiled, cupping your cheeks with his big hands before kissing you softly.

"Baby? Do you want to marry me? I don't care about the big wedding anymore either. We literally could go down to city hall tomorrow and do it there. I don't care. I just want you and baby Myla. Now will you please do me the honor of not rejecting me for the millionth time and finally saying yes to being my wife?"

"You are such a jerk," you said as the tears rolled down your face. You were still pretty hormonal and you had a feeling it wouldn't go away. "But yes, I'll marry you."

"Finally." He pressed his lips against yours for a deep kiss that had you falling back against the mattress. But you couldn't fully enjoy the moment for very long, before baby Myla made herself known. You got her out and held her in your arms, soothing her, while Mat held you close to his body pressing tiny kissed against your head.

"Ok, let me see the ring," you whispered when your baby girl calmed and started drifting into sleep. Mat opened the box with a chuckle, as your moth fell open.

"Like it?" You nodded and held your hand out for him to slip the ring on. While it didn't fit as well as it would have pre-pregnancy, at least you were assured that it wouldn't randomly fall off. "Kind is weird that we're doing this at my parents house, but I'll take what I can get. It's your fault though."

"Wha- Why?"

"I was scared as hell to propose to you again. I didn't want to be rejected again."

"Mat, I didn't reject you. I just– I didn't want to get married while pregnant." He cupped your face again with a chuckle.

"I know, I know. I'm just joking." He kissed you over and over again, until you realized that Myla was asleep and you could put her back in her bed.

Mat pulled you on his chest as you both laid down. "Wait, were you kidding about city hall tomorrow?," you asked, keeping your voice low.

"Not really. You wanna do it?" You looked up at him and shrugged.

"Kind of." You both smiled wide. "But wait, no. My family. I want them there."

"Okay, well we could ask them to come here? Or would you rather wait and do it back in New York?"

"Here is good." You fell in love with Vancouver the minute you got out of the airport the first time you came, so getting married here was not an issue for you. "Yeah, I'll just ask my family and some friends if and when they'd be available to come up."

"Okay. We can just invite people and whoever can make it, can make it. If not, then we can always have another little something in New York." You nodded, excitement filling your body.

"But if we're inviting a bunch of people, we can't do it at city hall."

"There's lots of parks and venues around here."

"Or your parents back yard?" You both thought about it for a second, then Mat smiled.

"Yeah, i think they'd be cool with that."

You both giggled excitedly, then he pulled you fully on top of him. "Are we seriously getting married in a few days?"

"Unless you don't want to," you responded.

"You are never ever getting rid of me."

August 2nd

It was wedding day. After a crazy busy 10 days, the day was finally here.

When you had told Mat's family the news the day after you got engaged, they were very excited. His sister screamed so loud, she scared the baby but you couldn't go soothe her since she had you trapped in a massive bear hug. She immediately started planning and listing everything you would need. Everyone was involved in making flowers arrangements, cooking and baking for the party, and getting the house ready to host a wedding.

Your family got to Vancouver a few days before the wedding, also helping greatly. Once your best friends arrived as well, it was time to shop for a dress. While there wasn't much so last minute, you found the perfect simple little dress that you absolutely fell in love with. You even found a little white dress for Myla at a baby store near by.

"Thank you so much for coming." You hugged Sydney Martin tight, then her husband.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world." She smiled and you hugged her again. She had been very supportive and your closest friend during your pregnancy. Since she'd already been through it twice, and none of your friends had experience in that department, you spent a lot of time together. You were so grateful for her and were very thankful she could make it to your wedding.

While both you and Mat felt bad about getting married so last minute and therefore not having all of your friends present, having the ceremony now did feel right to the both of you. And that was all that mattered. And even still with short notice, a lot more of your friends than you expected could make it. With Mat's family, yours and your friends, your guest count was almost up to 50. So lots of people to celebrate your love, but still more intimate than a big wedding you almost had.

You spent the morning of you wedding setting up the tables and decorating everything. Around two, guests started arriving and since you treated this as more of a party, you had time to greet most everybody before having to get ready.

"Alright, time to get dressed." Liana came walking and grabbed your hand.

"Wait." Before she had a chance to pull you away, you turned to Mat to give him a kiss. He reciprocated with a smile. "See you on the other side."

"Love you." He winked, then slapped your ass, before turning back to his friend group.

You made another pit stop to grab your daughter from her grandparents to have her with you while you got ready. Your makeup base was done so all you added was some eyeshadow and eyeliner, while your best friend did your hair. Another friend made sure to take lots of pictures and videos of your day. You fed Myla one more time before handing her back off to your mom, who was going to watch her today so you and Mat could enjoy the day without worrying about her. Then it was time to put on your dress.

"Aw, babe, you look gorgeous."

"Stun-ning!"

Your closest girlfriends friends quickly came to hug and admire you, before posing for a few more pictures.

"Okay! Go time!" Liana, who basically acted as your wedding planner, called when it turned three o'clock. She pulled you into a quick hug. "Ready?"

You nodded, already on the verge of tears when reality started hitting you. You were about to marry your best friend.

"Good, because I am so ready to have you as my sister-in-law." She kissed your cheek and then started getting everyone ready and into position. You kissed your sleeping daughter one last time, then followed everyone downstairs to the backyard, where you were holding the ceremony and party.

Through the windows, you could see the garden beautifully decorated and everybody sitting outside waiting for it to start. You could also see Mat, standing below the flower arch at the end of the aisle, with his best friend and best man Anthony standing next to him as they talked and joked around.

Your mom walked out to find her seat and as soon as Mat saw Myla sleeping in her arms, his eyes lit up. He took her from your mom, gently as to not wake her, and pressed tiny kisses to her chubby cheeks. Your eyes got watery again, watching them and knowing that the overwhelming happiness you felt right now would not go away anytime soon.

The music got a bit louder which was your cue to head outside. Your bridesmaids walked before you, down the shirt aisle you had just helped built this morning. Then you followed, slowly, scared to trip, but not too slow as you were eager to get to Mat.

Mathew. Who looked even more handsome than you though possible, standing at the end of the aisle with that wide goofy grin of his. As you got closer though, you could see his eyes sparkling with tears.

"You look beautiful," he mouthed and stretched his hand out for you to take. You took it, immediately feeling calmer. You looked over to where Myla was sleeping in her carrier and with a reassuring nod from your mom that she was alright, you turned your full attention back to Mat.

And Anthony who in addition to being best man was also officiating your wedding. Over the past few years that you've known Beau, he also became one of your closest friends and you couldn't be happier to have him as Mylas goddaughter and now here to marry your number one best friend.

For the entirety of the ceremony, you felt like you were in a bubble. Only Mat and you. Holding hands. "When I look at the time we've been together,

I always have a smile on my face. Through all the ups and downs we've been through, the one thing that has remained constant is my love for you. The love I feel for you has gone from wild and free to me enjoying the little things about you like going for a walk, seeing your face across a breakfast table, and even changing disgusting poopy diapers in the middle of the night. Love you, My," he said after a pause. You both looked at her with a laugh, still sleeping in her carrier.

"We have years ahead of us but when I look at the years that has passed my heart grows with such love for you that I ache. You are the most amazing partner and the most amazing mama to Myla. You're it and nothing is gonna keep us apart. I love you and always will."

Thankfully, before Mat even began his speech your made of honor handed you a tissue or your makeup would be ruined by now by the tears streaming down your face. 'Love you,' you whispered as you held your hand to his cheek. He smiled, with a quivering lip, and whispered it back. He took your hand and slipped diamond covered ring on your finger. Then you cleared your throat a couple of times and prepared to speak.

"Maty, you're my best friend. Ever since you flashed me that goofy grin of yours, I was gone for you. And I am so lucky you chose me to be on your team. And I promise you that I will choose you as my teammate. I choose you again and again. At the start and finish of every single day, no matter the season no matter the year. I choose you to struggle and succeed with, to fight and make up with, to love and grow old with.

And while I may have to send you to the sin bin sometimes, just know that I'll always be on your side and you can always count on me.

Seeing you grow and become the best father to our newest team member has been the biggest blessing. I am so proud you of. I hope I can make you just as proud. I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

With shaking hands, it was your turn to slip a ring on Mat's finger. You didn't hear another word until Beau said those magic words: 'you may now kiss your bride'. And he did. Those big hands grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you into him until your lips met. He started out softly, but soon enough he was breathlessly while your friends and family clapped and cheered in the background.

********

You were married. An indescribable feeling floated through you all day, every since you walked down the aisle. Your ring glistened in the Vancouver sun that was starting to set as you chatted with your friends. You friend circle had shrunk every since you found out you were pregnant, a lot of your friends keeping distance and not keeping in touch as much anymore. You didn't blame them. You were still very young and a lot of them weren't ready to settle down or even be surrounded by people that weren't able to go out and get drunk every weekend. You didn't blame them because it took you a few months too to adjust to the idea of being a mother, but it made you even more grateful for the few friends that did stick around. They made you feel so special and supported during your pregnancy and even now they were already the best aunties for baby Myla.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mat walking towards you, holding Myla. That sight would never not blow you away and make you feel all warm inside. "This little lady is hungry." He held her out to you and you welcomed her with with cuddles and lots of kisses.

"Where were you?," you asked him as you got ready to feed your daughter.

"I just went to change her. I saw my mom take her in, but I wanted to do it." He answered you puzzled expression, "What? I've barely seen her today. I just wanted to spend a few minutes with her."

Your heart warmed and you leaned into his shoulder. But your moment didn't last very long as the party was already in full swing and people kept coming over to talk to you. You went back to talking to your friends as Mat got pulled away by his.

After Myla was done eating, you decided to put her down for bed and once again tracked Mat down to let him know. "Hey, I'm putting her down." He was sitting with a bunch of his teammates that were able to make it out here who all fawned over baby Myla.

"Come on! Just let me hold her," Oliver whined, stretching his arms out, but Mat slapped them away.

"Absolutely not!" Most of his teammates got to hold her when you first introduced her to them, but Wally was not one of them. He joked around too much around her and was untrustworthy around babies. Those were Mat's words, not yours. He was obviously very protective of his daughter if he wouldn't let his own teammate hold her.

"I won't drop her! Please? Oh, see! She's looking at me," Wally tried again while the rest of you laughed.

"Yeah, she's trying to tell you to shut up. It's not happening." While he was mostly serious, there were joking tones in Mat's voice. You definitely thought they were all just messing with him, so you stayed out of it.

"Hey! Daddy Barz said no, so it's a no," the other Matt (with two Ts) chimed in in his best dad voice, to which your Mat gave him nod of his head.

"That's right."

You rolled your eyes at their banter. "Alright, I'm really putting her down now." Mat stood, but leaned down to where you were holding Myla in your arms so that he could kiss her little head over and over again.

"Good night, princess. I love you." Then he straightened and put his lips on your. "And I love you, wife."

"Love you more, husband."

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