#I'm gonna tag these as ''ask game with precious''

[thosetwofirefighters]

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! 💖

🌌🤟💕❤️

THIS IS SO CUTE it's making me aggressive. anon i love you !!! and i'm so sorry it's taken me days to answer this <3<3<3<3

[dearhargrove]

Survivors

Evan Buckley x reader

summary You're taking care of Christopher when Buck comes home, looking absolutely drained and in shock and goes straight to Christophers room. You overhear the news and make sure to care for both Chris and Buck.

word count 1639

tags pretty much episode 14 season 4, Eddie gets shot but it's not described, Buck is sad :(, Chris being the precious kid he is

a/n the way I sat there in silence when Eddie got shot is crazy. Like first they hurt us with Athena and Bobby's fight and then one second passes and Eddie (my bb) gets shot I'm so confused 😭 anyway I couldn't take it when I saw bucks reaction so I wrote a fix it for me. Also I screen recorded off of an illegal site to make gifs LMAO

masterlist

You're washing the dishes when the front door opens and closes, footsteps echoing through the hallway and living room - right past the kitchen.

“Eddie?” You call and the steps stop. Instead of the man you'd expected there's your husband, Buck. He looks distraught, eyes bloodshot and lips bitten raw. What the hell happened? He doesn't even really look at you, it's like he's looking through you. “Buck? You okay?”

He licks his lips and blinks a few times but he doesn't reply. He walks straight to Christopher's bedroom, you following after him in confusion and worry. Why was he alone and why did he look like he'd seen a ghost or worse?

He stops before entering Chris’ room, but not to wait for permission to come in but more like hesitancy. He balls his hand into a fist and takes a deep breath before walking in. You take his spot in the doorway and watch with a worried frown as Buck squats down in front of Chris who's sitting on his bed, playing a video game.

“Where's Dad?” Buck looks down and you see him swallow again before he looks into the kids eyes. “He's.. not coming home tonight, Chris.”

Chris seems almost unbothered by it but considering that Eddie had to stay in the hospital overnight almost regularly due to his job, it was a reasonable reaction. But Buck doesn't seem to think the same and shakes his head minimally.

“Did he get hurt? In a fire?” Chris inquires and Buck turns his head to the side and slowly shakes it in negation. Before explaining it he sits down next to Chris and pinches the bridge of his nose, frowning. “No, not- not in a fire.” He takes another deep breath before continuing, “The truth is someone hurt your Dad.”

It's been a while since you've heard his voice so sullen and raspy from crying - probably since the last visit from his parents and that was weeks ago now. You slowly and quietly come into the room as well, standing at the foot of the bed and next to Buck with his back turned to you.

He regards you with a short glance before focusing back on Christopher, confirming his question, “Yeah, a bad guy.”

You see him reach up and wipe under his eyes, frowning in empathy as you put your hand between his shoulder blades and slowly move it up and down in hopes to calm him down a bit.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Chris asks and you're glad he did because you want to know too. Buck looks at him again and nods. “Your Dad is tough. He's a fighter.”

“He's with the doctors now? The ones that fixed you?” Chris inquires and Buck nods. You see the conflict on his face before the ten year old nods, “Then he's gonna be fine.” You hum and Buck glances your way before focusing back on Chris. Just as he's about to say something his phone pings twice and he looks down at it.

Over his shoulder you see the message as well, stemming from Bobby.

Out of surgery. Doctors say it went well.

Your heart basically drops in relief and Bucks seems to as well when his phone drops from his hand and he pretty much caves in, dropping his chin to his chest as he sniffles and exhales deeply.

You thread your hand in his hair and he automatically leans into you, resting against your stomach as he starts to cry. His hands grasp at your hips before his arms wrap around you and he sobs.

“Shh, it's okay, baby. Eddie's gonna be fine. Right, Chris? Your dad's strong.”

The young boy nods and you smile assuringly as he reaches out and wraps his arm around Bucks shoulders to pat his back. You melt at the sight and ruffle his hair which he usually doesn't like - only his dad is allowed to - but now he just looks at you with worry and confusion.

“How about you go and get ready for bed, hm?” It's not a question and it is a reasonable time for him to head to bed anyway, so he complies and slowly walks to the bathroom.

When he's out of earshot you sit next to Buck and let him fully wrap his arms around you and put his head on your chest as he cries. “H-He got shot right in front of me,” he starts with hitching breaths. “He just dropped and his blood was all over me-” he sobs deeply and you kiss his head while trying to process this yourself. He got shot?

“You couldn't have prevented it, love. He's gonna be fine. Eddie survived a lot, he's going to pull through this time, too.” Buck shakes his head and pulls back enough to look at you, blue eyes glossy and chin quivering as he gasps between another sob.

“It shouldn't have been him!” This devastates you and you cup his face in your hands, your worried expression replaced by a stern one. “It shouldn't have been anyone. Not him and not you, either. You hear me?”

He whimpers and you sigh, wiping your thumbs under his eyes and placing a long, soft kiss on his birthmark. “As soon as we can, we'll go visit him. But now you have to be strong, for Christopher. He looks up to you, if he sees you sad he'll be sad, too. Let's get him to bed, and I'll take care of you after.”

You take his hand and put it over your heart, exaggerating your breaths so he could match his and calm down. Right when he does he opens his eyes again and his frown fades enough to only be barely visible. “‘m sorry.”

The shake of your head is immediate, shutting up any further apologies. “No. It's good to let it out. I'm here so you can do exactly that if you need to. I love you, Evan. Nothing's gonna change that.”

He pulls his hand from your chest and tangles it with yours instead, gently kissing your knuckles and then your inner wrist.

He used to hate his name after it reminded him of his parents- of how they treated him. It reminds him of a life where he had to endure pain to receive love and attention.

But when you say it, it makes his heart beat faster in a good way. It makes him want to move on from his trauma or at least learn to deal with it.

And moreover it makes him feel validated. With you, he's not just Buck. He's also vulnerable, emotional and a bit cheesy. He's Evan. Evan, who's had more jobs in more cities than he can count on one hand because he was trying to find his place in the world. Evan, who likes the ocean but has been uneasy around it ever since the tsunami.

You smile lovingly and peck his forehead just as Chris comes back inside. He's wearing some dino pajamas and you ‘ohh’ at him which makes him giggle and turn as if to show off his outfit.

You move up from the bed - Buck going with you and standing at the foot of it - and untuck the bedsheets. “Get in there.” Chris grins and lays down, letting you tuck him in.

“Don't be sad, kid.” He says to Buck, who tries and fails to hide a new round of tears building up in his eyes. You had no clue where and why Chris sometimes calls Buck or even Eddie ‘kid’ but both of them seemed to love it.

“I'm just a bit worried for your Dad. But he'll be fine,” he adds the last part when you glance at him warningly, not wanting Chris to worry, and smiles. “Goodnight, bud.”

You leave his nightlight on and the door open as you leave.

Buck settles on the couch and watches as you approach and stand in front of him.

He leans back into the couch and looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that make you melt every single time he looks at you. Damn him and his beautiful eyes.

“I'm really scared. I don't know what I would do without him… when he laid there and looked at me, I-” he inhales sharply and looks at his hands, picking at his nails and reopening an old abrasion in the process.

You take his hand into each of yours to stop him and sigh, “I think you're gonna have to move from monthly sessions to biweekly, babe.” You know his therapy has been helping him a lot and you're glad he's working on coping with his trauma, but this addition is going to complicate not just his home life but also work - especially when Eddie comes back.

He groans and pulls you down until you're sitting on his lap, knees on either side of his thighs and his hands on your hips. “I appreciate your help, lovie, but just let me try and rest a little right now, please?”

You smile and card a hand through hair, moving to get off his lap so he could get comfortable on the couch. “Where do you think you're going?” He huffs and you're pushed onto your back before he's leaning over you, laying between your legs.

“You're gonna use me as your pillow?” You prompt and he nods, laying his head on your shoulder and nuzzling his nose into your neck and against your pulse point. You're familiar with his constant search for proof that you're alive and well; you supposed it comes from not just the job but his abandonment issues, too.

It didn't matter to you though, as long as you got to hold him at the end of the day you'd let him maneuver you into whatever way made him happy.

[lost-and-ephemeral]

HCs: Playing Kitty Cards

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: fluff

A/N: I'm in love with this mini game qwq Remember I'm not native in English

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Xavier

Xavier doesn't care that much about winning.

He simply enjoys the process of spending time with you. That's all.

Xavier will never tell you this, but sometimes he tries to give in to you a little during the game, just to see your smile when you beat him.

Such a sweet boy.

Your happiness is his priority.

And sometimes he successfully pretends to be asleep while you swap the kitties. At times like that, Xavier can barely contain his laughter at how sneaky you're trying act.

But he'll never tell you that either.

Xavier is surprised when he actually wins.

Sometimes he'll go all-in with all the strong cards to get you challenged. But if it upsets you, he'll try to soften the situation.

Would never do something to make you upset. Caring and supporting after your unlucky game.

Zayne

Zayne isn't trying hard to win. But he's not trying to play along either.

You're both adults, right?

Right?

But when he sees your disappointed face during the game, he can't resist giving in.

Even if Zayne seems cold and aloof, he's always cautiously watching you during the game. Are you enjoying this? Do these bad cards upset you?

He alternates wins and losses to not to upset you too much. Especially if you're already upset after a hard day.

Thinks you're adorable when you ask him to switch cards. Barely able to hold back a smile at that moment to maintain a serious facade.

If you didn't enjoy the game, takes you out to buy some sweets to cheer you up after it.

Rafayel

Rafayel is really trying to win.

Is it successful?

No.

Maybe sometimes.

He tries to act like he doesn't care, but he's actually very frustrated.

Cats seem to have a mutual dislike for him.

Constantly pouts at the end of the game when he loses all the rounds to you. Such a big baby.

But when he wins, he looks like an even bigger baby.

Usually you don't even get upset when you lose. Just take a look at Rafayel who's nearly jumping from joy. Precious little baby.

Though if you're really upset, he'll make sure to comfort you after a bit of teasing. He just can't help himself. But Rafayel doesn't mean to hurt you.

No matter the outcome, he's gonna offer to play the claw machine to relax. Or go to the beach together. Or grab a delicious snack. Or all of the above, if it makes both of you happy.

[socialfakes]

crossing enemy lines -connor bedard-

part 6: infinite heart eyes

nhl players x platonic hughes sister

connor bedard x hughes sister

series masterlist

Liked by _connorbedard, lhughes_06, bboeser and 327,184 others

y/nhughes | infinite heart eyes for you 😍 tagged: _connorbedard

view all comments

user13 his eyes. his smile. his hands. his ARMS. holy cow. you lucky girl 🤤😍

user9 photo proof he looks good in all the jerseys

user7 he's the cutest human being on the planet for sure

lhughes_06 slowly becoming my best friend honestly | y/nhughes thought that was me, but whatever 💔😭 | _quinnhughes dude you made her cry 😲 | jackhughes yeah way to go dumbass. now she's gonna tell mom | lhughes_06 wait you're still my best friend & you're also the best sister & best sibling overall ❤ | y/nhughes i love youuuuu lukey

_connorbedard i think your page is now just a fan account at this point 🙈 | y/nhughes of course it is because you're the best

user12 i love that y/n is connors biggest hype woman | user8 i love that she loves him even more than we do & that's really what he deserves

y/nhughes living in chicago has been the best experience ever

_connorbedard you're the love of my life 🙊😍 | _quinnhughes still think it's a little soon to be saying the L word but if you're treating her right, then i'm happy | _connorbedard i would never in a million years dream of treating her badly. she's my whole world, sincerely | _quinnhughes okay good. just checking

user8 quinn being the protective older brother is honestly so cute | y/nhughes he's the most precious human being 😊 | user8 do you have a favorite brother? | y/nhughes no. i love them all equally, although i do love each of them more than the other 2 sometimes

bboeser is he good at anything other than hockey? | y/nhughes if you mean what i think you mean, then yes definitely 🙊😏 | y/nhughes but yes. he's good at everything

tdemko30 baby hughes being in love is making my heart so full right now | y/nhughes oh thatcher. you make my heart so full 🥰

user7 the best player in the league fr | y/nhughes best person in the league fr

Liked by y/nhughes, jackhughes, nhl and 414,287 others

_connorbedard | hi 😊

view all comments

y/nhughes it's all about confidence baby 😍 | y/nhughes god you're so pretty | y/nhughes can i kiss you? | y/nhughes i'll ask nicely | y/nhughes pretty please 🥺 | _connorbedard you can do whatever you want, whenever you want ❤

user6 who else is in love with this man? | user4 ✋🏻 | user7 ✋🏻 | user2 ✋🏻 | y/nhughes ✋🏻

nhlblackhawks hi connor

jackhughes hello 😃

tdemko30 yo ✌🏻

trevorzegras looking good dude | y/nhughes he always looks good | y/nhughes he's so pretty | y/nhughes and oh my god. after a game? wow 🔥🤤🥵 | trevorzegras whoa that was intense | y/nhughes i am unapologetic about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

user9 i love you!

elblue6 hello sweetheart 😊🖐🏻 | _connorbedard 😊

y/nhughes how are you so perfect?? 😲😍🤤

y/nhughes my favorite person

lhughes_06 hello

calemakar_ well if it isn't my best friends boyfriend. hello ✋🏻

mackinnon29 better be treating her like a freaking princess | _connorbedard don't worry. i am treating her so well 😊 | y/nhughes the absolute best 👌🏻

taglist: @worldlxvlys @fearfam69691

[ace-of-spaders]

*taps the mic and laughs nervously because of the major stage fright*

Lizzington shippers, fam, grandmas and grandpas, can I have a moment of your attention, please?

It's not a secret that, while some people in Lizzington community are still active, whether they write or make gifs or keep our dash full of Lizzington even in this trying times ( @melbob26-blog, thank you for this! ), Lizzington community as a whole went into hibernation over the last couple of years.

And I get it, interests change, especially when one show ends and there's another ongoing, moving on from the show that ended is totally natural, especially when it didn't give your favorite characters the happy ending they deserved.

I get it.

Hell, for a pretty lengthy while there I focused on other ships and shows, too, especially after TBL ended ended last year.

But you know what I realized earlier today, when I reread some of the old fics, browsed through gifsets and text posts, watched some fanvids?

It's the show that ended, for some in 2021, for others in 2023. And the only thing that means is that it cannot disappoint us anymore.

( it's not like we were suddenly deprived of quality content, because let's face it, the fans have been the main source of the quality lizzington content for years now, while the show gave us mere crumbs, on a good day )

But Red and Liz?

They are still out there, fighting criminals, catching Blacklisters, travelling the world, shamelessly flirting, toppling shadow organizations, raising Agnes and/or any other children they have, and generally being the sexy badass power couple they are!

Nothing changed in that regard.

So why would we mourn them, when they are out there, healthy and happy and in the middle of yet another adventure? I'm sure right this moment Red is drawing Liz into another one of his heists and she's only too happy to join him, even though she pretends that she's not, for the sake of the game.

There's literally no reason for us to stop writing, giffing, editing, sharing theories and headcanons and memes and just talking about our favorite couple.

And by writing all of this, I want to propose something daring to you:

Let's revive the Lizzington community!

Let's rewatch earlier seasons and gif the hell out of them because it's been a while and because precious moments between these two are not going to become less precious even if it's giffed 10 or 100 more times, not to mention that ever gifmaker's style is different, so there are virtually no two identical gifsets as there are no two identical snow flakes.

Let's make fanvideos, picspams, picture edits, fanart, moodboards! The amount of songs, quotes, moments etc that can inspire you is virtually endless!

Let's write fics, let's explore AUs, let's give each other prompts and challenge each other to try something new or practice some aspect of writing, like writing kisses or AUs or hugs or making up Blacklisters etc!

Let's share headcanons and theories and ideas and what our versions of Red and Liz are like, because everyone has their own unique versions of Red and Liz living in their head, and it's just beautiful, if you ask me!

Let's reblog stuff, filling each other's dashes with Lizzington!

Let's scream about Lizzington because no one does it like them!

Let's revive the Lizzington Community, we all miss it!

PS. Feel free to reblog this post – spread the suggestion!)

PPS. To assure you that I'm not the type of person who encourages others but doesn't do anything themselves, I can tell you I've already got some ideas for a couple of Lizzington events in mind. Those include challenges, thematic weeks etc.

PPPS. I'm not sure how many people are checking the tags these days, so I'm gonna tag some people I know under the cut, just in case, to spread the suggestion. If you weren't tagged, trust me, it's nothing personal!

@meetmeatthecoda @iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast @agxntkeen @factoseintolerant @tale-xistime @james-baeder @lettie1609 @withwhatiam @peace-love-on-planet-earth @missourired @felilaprivada @strawberry-pills @roominthecastle @codewordpumpkin @my-robot-heart @kitkate91060 @imyourplusone @shelly1952 @itsjustme-itsmylife @castle2cute @nancyjocom @cress-26 @lunaarlilacs @femaleoptimistic @scifi-gk @greeneyedsoul88 @figureofdismay @shippinglizzington @kissthefuture @thetwistedargent @actuallylorelaigilmore @sorrydearie @turningtimeinthetardis @buildinggsr @apicturewithasmile @windfalling @piketrickfeet

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 4.1)

pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader

word count: 15.5k (IT JUST KEEPS GETTING LONGER WHY)

summary: that second year of high school has a clear division within your mind—before summer and after. this is the before.

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, bisexual!reader, bisexual!suguru, awkward teenage sexual awakenings, denying that you're thirsting on your bffs and you're plunging in DENIAL river at the thought of CRUSHING on your bffs, masturbation, wet dreams (ish?), the existential crisis of realizing a bunch of old dudes poorly control the future of your teenage life, and good ole fashioned meltdowns

beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again, @honeydew-cheesecake

author note: (ಠ_ಠ) no seriously dude stories really do have a mind of their own because HERE WE ARE. 15.5 THOUSAND WORDS. and that was BEFORE hidden inventory. i've still got so many brain worms for post-hidden inventory that i said "my god the tumblr post will be so fucking long let me just cut this in half and give the besties an update while i'm at it"

chapter links: ONE, TWO, THREE, AO3

[YEAR TWO.]

[PART I]

You know that they’re there. You’re not sure exactly where, but you can feel their eyes on you—sharp and predatory. You know that you may not be the best sorcerer around, but you think that this is a mission only you can do. You can’t let yourself waver here! There are people who depend on you now!

“We truly appreciate this, Senpai.”

They’re close, you can feel it. You’ll have to make your final stand here. Maybe you can trick them, so they don’t come at you with their all. Yes, you’ll talk and make it look like you’ve let your guard down.

You slow to a stop and turn around to face the two boys behind you with a smile. Haibara Yu and Nanami Kento—the only two to be enrolled this year. Both of them come from non-sorcerer families, so like you and Suguru last year, they’re here a week early to have a crash course on the jujutsu world. Hmm, now that you think about it, that could be why you’re so protective of them. You remember how overwhelmed you were by all that information thrown at you.

Nanami was dead serious with his thanks, as he is in general. Paired with Haibara, who is open and warm, you hope that his sharp edges will soften. Just as you hope that Nanami will teach Haibara to learn how to focus. He’s very laidback. You’re not sure that he realizes how dangerous sorcery can be.

“I hope this doesn’t offend you,” Haibara starts nervously, “but isn’t this…excessive?”

Oh, poor, sweet, naïve Haibara. There are still stars in his eyes. It blinds him to the truth that you have to do this because no one else can. Only you can stand up to those saccharine smiles and escort your precious juniors to class. Without you, either they’d be kidnapped or Nanami would break and be expelled because he hasn’t built up an immunity yet.

Out of the corner of your eye, shadows move.

However, you were prepared for this!

You’ve learned from experience, so you know that one will try to sneak up behind you and snatch you up. With a mighty cry, you brandish the bottle that you had hidden in the front pocket of your uniform. Giving your back to your juniors, you spray Suguru right in the face with water.

“Gah!”

You spin on your heel and push between Nanami and Haibara to reach Satoru who stands behind them with a sadistic grin. His hands were going for their collars, but he’s lost when you spray him in the face, too. It doesn’t matter that the water is stalled by Infinity. They’ve lost the game today.

“No!” You hold the spray bottle up threateningly. Satoru accepts his defeat by dropping down to sit on the ground and cross his arms over his chest. “Let them get to class! There’s not gonna be any weird hazing rituals on my watch!”

“When did you become a member of the Disciplinary Committee?” Suguru teases while he slides in beside you to lean an elbow on your shoulder. You brandish the bottle, but he takes a step back with his hands raised in defeat. “You win this round, Squid. I won’t bother you or your ducklings for the rest of the day.”

Did you hear Nanami breathe a sigh of relief? You’re not sure. But you definitely hear Haibara squawk loudly. You look over your shoulder, watching as Nanami takes the chance to escape and books it away from the scene, practically dragging his classmate along with him. You can’t say that you blame Nanami. You know other people tend to think that Satoru is a lot to deal with and now that he and Suguru are so close…at times, they’re downright unbearable.

With an irritated sigh, you ask them, “Can you stop with the duckling thing?”

“Why? Worried you’ll get another nickname, Mama Duck?” Satoru taunts.

You won’t tell him that he’s right.

“The real question,” Suguru interrupts as he gently tugs at the strap of your backpack, “is where are you going?”

“A date,” you answer bluntly.

“What?!” Satoru yelps.

Suguru quickly follows up with, “With who?!”

“Talk about Mama Duck,” you mutter.

“Papa!” Satoru whines. Because he’s still on the ground, he starts tugging at Suguru’s pants—more like a child than the mother he pretends to be. “Sketch is in her rebellious phase!”

“You’re not reading any of my Ouran manga anymore.” In preparation for the anime adaptation that’s about to premiere, you’ve been burning through the manga. And Satoru once declared that he wanted to read what you did because he wants to know what kind of things you like, so he’s been reading it along with you. “I’m meeting up with Shoko. We’re getting our nails done and grabbing food.”

“Boo.” Satoru leans back on his hands with a huff. “Suguru, let’s go on our own date to make them jealous!”

“You guys are extra childish today.” You put a hand on your hip. “If I stop at the konbini on my way back, will you cut it out with the temper tantrums?”

“Rude.” You wait. Suguru and you stare at each other. He’s the one to crack first. “Some unadon, please.”

“Parfait!” Satoru chirps.

“Actual food, Satoru,” you and Suguru intone at the exact same time.

“Ugh. Fine. A katsu sandwich and the parfait.”

“Good boy.” Satoru has an interesting reaction to your praise. His face turns bright red, probably out of chagrin. He jerks away from your hand that’s reaching out to ruffle his hair and yanks his legs up against his chest. You hold your hands up like Suguru had done not long ago. “Sorry,” you quickly apologize. “I should’ve asked before I tried to touch.”

“It’s not that!” Satoru snaps his head to the side, looking away, scowling at nothing. “You know that you and Suguru are allowed to touch me whenever! But don’t talk to me like I’m a dog! Jeez!”

You cock your head to the side. “Is that how it came off? I was being genuine. You usually put up more of a fuss when we try to get you to eat regular food.”

“Squid.” You turn to look up at Suguru. There’s this weird smile on his face as he watches Satoru. Forced, maybe? But then he turns his attention back to you. “What time are you meeting Shoko? Shouldn’t you get going? I don’t want you to freak out over being late because we held you up.”

Your eye twitches. “But you’ll hold up our juniors from going to class?”

The tension in his smile melts away for something coyer. “We want to welcome them. Get to know them better since they’re in the dorms with us now. Isn’t that the responsible thing to do as their upperclassmen?”

“I can’t believe you preached to them about how important our roles are, but you want to interrupt their studies.”

“It’s nothing official,” he tries to dismiss. “Sensei won’t throw them to the wolves on their first day. They could catch up once the term starts.” He raises a brow. “I can’t believe you preached to them about having fun when they can, but you want to keep them tucked away under your wing,” he throws back at you tauntingly.

You roll your eyes. “Go jerk each other off or something and leave the rest of us out of it.”

They’re both still sputtering when you walk away with a smug smirk.

Oh.

No wonder Satoru and Suguru had been so upset about the idea of you on a date. You’d completely forgotten that it’s cherry blossom season. There are definitely no open benches. Thankfully, you’re prepared! You brought a blanket in case the benches were still wet from the morning dew. You’re happy that you’re still early despite Satoru and Suguru’s distraction because you have time to hunt down a spot that’s as far away as it can be from other people on the open lawn.

You spot Shoko before she sees you. You stand up and wave a hand in the air to catch her attention. Around the stick in her mouth, she’s grinning as she approaches. Then, because you’re weirdly attracted to having assholes for friends, she asks loud enough for other people to hear, “Are we on an actual date, pretty girl?”

And, normally, you’d be embarrassed by that. Right now, though, when she’s close enough, you’re smacked in the face with the bitter smell of smoke. The end of what you thought was a candy stick is bright orange. “Shoko!” You flap a hand nervously in her direction, motioning toward that thing in her mouth. “You leave us for a month and you’re smoking now?!”

“Aw, man. I’d hoped getting you all flustered would’ve helped you ignore that.” She laughs easily. “Here.” She plops the plastic bag in hand on the blanket. “I wanted to drop this off before I go put out this cigarette. I don’t want us getting kicked out for me not being in the designated smoking area.” She waves a hand. “Be right back.”

You’re still in a tizzy when she gets back. “This is bribery,” you accuse when she’s close enough. When she’d proposed this, you suggested the both of you buying your own meals, but she insisted on paying. Now, you know why, and you also know why she got a bunch of your favorite foods and drinks. “I can’t believe you,” you continue to complain. “You’re going to be a doctor. You have surgeons as parents. What do they think about this?”

“They’re smokers, too.”

You huff in disbelief. “That seems…irresponsible.”

“They do have a kid that could heal any complications that come from it. That’s why I do it. I get the chemical rush and none of the damage. Seems like a win-win to me.” She plops down on the blanket next to you. “You’re not helping the Mama Duck allegations, y’know.”

Ugh. Having more than one friend sucks sometimes. If only they could move those online chatrooms to cell phones. You could scold them all at once about this weird obsession they have with giving you embarrassing nicknames. “It’s not bad to care about people!”

“You’re too sweet for jerks like us, pretty girl,” Shoko says with a laugh as she holds out okonomiyaki as an offering.

You eye the plastic container before you snatch it from her hands. “No octopus, right?”

“Vegetarian,” she replies. You smile brightly and flip the container open. Between the both of you chowing down, she asks, “Did you work on your technique over the break? Gotten anywhere else with it?”

“Ugh, yeah, and it’s gotten me in a weird place.” She raises a brow at your answer. You absentmindedly chew on the end of your straw. “I still can’t control them. It’s like I’m giving them a suggestion and the weaker they are, the more likely they are to listen to what I have to say.” You frown. “I was on an assignment with Suguru and another sorcerer last week, y’know. They used a shikigami.” You fidget nervously. “I pacified the shikigami and Suguru’s cursed spirit.”

Shoko nearly drops her drink from the shock. “Seriously?”

You nod. “We don’t know what to make of it. I could maybe understand Suguru since the cursed spirits are technically their own separate thing. It’s like an extreme master-servant deal. But with a shikigami…that’s just a physical form of a sorcerer’s cursed energy.”

“How easy was it?”

“Not at all. I passed out,” you admit sheepishly. “I thought I was pacifying the cursed spirit we were after, but…uh…I guess the other two were caught in the range. The shikigami was a lot easier, actually. It might have to do with the amount of cursed energy. When this was all happening, it felt like an uphill battle. Suguru has more cursed energy than me and it’s like I’m muting his connection, so I guess I’d need to overcome his. If he wasn’t so tired, I don’t think I would’ve won.”

She hums thoughtfully. “Maybe it all boils down to cursed energy.” You tilt your head in question. “Like…you’re suppressing cursed energy itself. Not only cursed spirits. What are cursed spirits if not a massive amount of negative cursed energy? If you look at it with that perspective, it only makes sense that you can pacify shikigami.”

“I want to say that it feels like you’re reaching, but…” Well. That’s the only logical outcome when you add up the pieces. It’s started now because you’re getting stronger, refining control over your own cursed energy. “I don’t like this,” you whisper when you start thinking too much. “Wouldn’t the next step be pacifying the sorcerer? I…I don’t want to control people.” You shake your head furiously. “No. I could never be that strong.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself there, pretty girl. If it boils down to a cursed energy match, you have a lot.” You try to wave the comment off. Sensei has mentioned something along those lines, too. “I’m serious. You can’t compare yourself to Gojo and Geto since they’re freaks of nature. You’ve got such an insane amount that you’re getting close to freak yourself. If you had a more threatening ability, you might be considered Special Grade.”

“Can we not talk about me anymore, please?”

“Alright, alright. Let me tell you about the fun I had over the break. They gave me access to the morgue.”

***

You’re…distracted…

It’s hard not to stare.

It was only a moment, but you still watch him intently. You’re reminded of those pictures that are drawn in such a way that you can see multiple interpretations and when someone points out their own perspective, you can never not see it anymore. This is like that. It doesn’t matter if you demand that he tuck his shirt in like some scandalized lady of the house from the Heian period because it’s burned in your brain now.

Such a small, simple thing. A flutter of his shirt when he leaped in the air to shoot the basketball, and you saw beneath the figurative curtain. And somewhere in the back of your brain, you knew that a simple belt wouldn’t be enough to hold up Suguru’s heavy, baggy pants, but it never clicked. Not until now. Not until you saw a flash of the high waist of his pants.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why does it feel like your brain would be playing the old internet dial-up sound on a loop if someone could read your mind right now?

It was a waist! You didn’t even see skin! If you’re going to drool over something, it should be his arms. With his sleeves rolled up like that, you can see the few veins that run along his upper arms. With him holding a basketball like that, the size of his hands become more apparent. Suguru…really took that punch at last year’s Goodwill Event personally and he’s started to work out a lot more. You can tell. Not that he wasn’t fit before with all the farm work he did in the village, but…

Holy shit, what are you going to do in summer? You think you heard Satoru mention that they had more people to play basketball with now, so they could do teams, and…and don’t guys do the whole shirts versus skins thing? They wouldn’t with only two to a team, would they? What are you going to do? Suguru is more massive than ever now. More muscled than ever.

Is the heat still on? You’re so hot right now. And more than that…

“Yo! Sketch! Hey, look out—”

Something heavy thumps against the top of your head. You clutch at your head, watching the basketball bounce away, more flustered than hurt that you were…were…in a daze. Because you saw your best friend’s waist. When did Suguru get curves? Oh, no. Does this make you a pervert? You might be a pervert!

“Squid?”

The stupidly curvaceous man of the hour squats down in front of you. Hair has fallen out of his tight bun, bangs now framing both sides of his face. You duck your head, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with him. You watch his fingers twitch, but he puts his hands firmly on his big thighs.

“You lookin’ to get a new nickname, Sketch?” Satoru calls out as he approaches you and Suguru. “You’ll get one if you don’t stop being such a space cadet.”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “You’re so caring, Satoru. Really, you’re dripping with compassion.” He shakes his head before moving his attention back to you, expression softening. “Are you okay? Is it a bad day?”

“Is it a crime to daydream?” You scramble for something to explain your behavior. “I don’t know. I…I was trying to remember what that cursed spirit looked like.” You shake your sketchbook. His brows furrow in confusion when he looks at it because it’s almost done. You panic. “Uh…like…did it have fur or not? I can’t remember!”

“It was scales…” Suguru informs you slowly. “Are you okay? Really? Not feeling sick or anything? You don’t usually forget big things like that when it comes to cursed spirits.”

The gym door slams open, the sound echoing, and making you yelp.

Sensei shouts all your names as if you’re in trouble…which, to be fair, you probably are since you were supposed to be spending this time studying in the library. Technically, you could spin the sketch as work since you are supposed to record curses that you encounter, but you don’t even want to defend yourself. You’ve never been more thankful to be in trouble in your life. Sensei has learned that the best punishment is to separate you all from each other. You need some room to breathe.

“Since you have so much energy to burn,” Sensei starts heatedly, “you can come help with the first years.”

“Ugh,” Satoru and Suguru groan in unison.

You smartly slide off to the side to make way for Sensei. He rushes forward to knock them both over the head as a reprimand for the rude response. The hit makes them drop to their knees and they accept that they’re in for a lecture. Sensei doesn’t demand the same gesture from you because he knows that you’ll stay where you are. You do tune him out partway through, though. This is definitely a lecture more targeted toward Satoru and Suguru because you’re more than happy to help with whatever the first years need.

When Sensei calls out your name, you snap back to attention. “You’ll spar with Satoru today,” he declares. It’s hard to retain your politeness. Turns out that you’re not exactly escaping, after all. It could be worse. He could make you run the track again which you hate because you don’t have anyone to keep you company, so you get bored just running in circles.

Then, you process his words fully. “Satoru?”

“Suguru is going to work with Nanami and Haibara today,” Sensei explains. “Satoru still needs a lot of work on his hand-to-hand combat.” Suguru snickers quietly while Satoru sputters at the, frankly, correct assessment. “You’re next best after Suguru. He’ll benefit from sparring with you. It might also help him with having some restraint.”

“What the hell, old man?!” Satoru shouts. “Suguru, shut up!” Clearly, Satoru isn’t that preoccupied with getting an answer. He just stomps out of the gym with a red face while Suguru quickly follows after him to pile on the teasing.

Both you and Sensei sigh when they’re out of sight—for different reasons, of course. Sensei goes on to scrub a hand across his face. You don’t doubt that he’s questioning his life choices right now. Kusakabe, when he visits Sensei and you escort him to where your teacher is, has told you that Sensei complains about how Satoru and Suguru are some of the most promising yet most frustrating students that he’s ever had.

“Sorry, Sensei.” You feel the need to apologize on their behalf. Sensei shoots you an irritable look now. One of your biggest lectures is to stop doting on Satoru and Suguru. “Sorry,” you mumble again with a wince. He stares at you a few seconds more before he heads out of the gym. You quickly follow after and step in line beside him. “Um…you said that we needed to get used to helping Nanami and Haibara more. Something about escorting them on missions?” That had caught your attention during the lecture. “When does that start?”

“I’m not sure,” Sensei answers honestly. “It depends on how today goes. Haibara’s family owns a dojo. Nanami has taken kendo classes since he was a child. I want to see how well they incorporate cursed energy into their techniques.”

Your brows furrow. “It’s been a month…” He hums in agreement. “We were going on our first assignments within a month.”

“Your class is a special case. You’re all extremely talented. Satoru and Suguru are in the process of being assigned Special Grade status. I’ve also been speaking with Kusakabe about putting your name forward for Grade 1 in the future.” Your eyes widen and your head snaps up to stare at him in shock. “Though, I’m not sure that you need the recommendation. Those at headquarters are very interested in your abilities. They’ll be speaking with you soon.”

“I…I don’t understand.” Your mind is spinning right now. “Why? What more can I tell them?”

Sensei stops and turns to stare at you like you’ve grown another head. “You discovered that the Red Room Curse exists as an extension of a cursed spirit’s technique. You used the break to research, something you didn’t have to do. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have known that it had created a cursed tool in the Taisho period. It was found yesterday, if you were curious. It’s been sealed away.”

You frown. “Doesn’t that just mean they should do more research themselves?”

“They should,” he agrees. But they won’t and now you’re here, he doesn’t say. You can do it for them. “Like any high schooler, you should start thinking about what you want to do after graduation. You and Shoko have more options open to you than the rest of your peers. As your name spreads at headquarters, it trickles down to the clans, so they may offer you positions, too.”

And you can’t help but blurt, “Couldn’t you have sprung this on me after sparring?”

Sensei chuckles softly. “It wasn’t meant to cause you stress. What you do or don’t do with your technique is up to you. This was to help you see your worth, more than anything.”

You blink at his honesty. “Y’know…you’re actually a good guy, Sensei.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” he grouses.

“Ah, but it was?”

Sensei sighs. “I know.”

“This is stupid,” Satoru complains as the two of you stand off to the side and watch Nanami and Haibara throw themselves at Suguru. They try to clumsily infuse their moves with cursed energy which Suguru is quick to point out and guide them on how to better let their cursed energy flow. “Why not let the guy with a shield handle this?”

“The inconsistent shield?”

Ah, maybe that was a little too mean. Satoru is in a weird place. The last few months, he’s felt like he’s started to slide backward in terms of progress. He still can’t fire off his technique, Red, consistently. Whenever he does try, it leaves him exhausted. Not to mention that, suddenly, his Infinity has started to lower at the most random of times. Satoru has no reason why. Thankfully, it’s not a lot. Sensei and Shoko were honestly shocked because it’s never dropped around them. It’s only you and Suguru that have seen Infinity act up and Satoru wants to keep it that way.

Satoru doesn’t dwell on your words. “Not you too, Sketch! What’s with everyone bashing me today, huh?”

“Anyway.” You roll your eyes. “Getting hit is the point here. Suguru can feel their output better that way and correct them. And it’s not enough for them to hurt him.”

“I’m good at controlling and channeling my cursed energy, too!”

“Yeah, but you can’t explain it well.” Before he can loudly whine again, you interrupt. “For you, it’s so easy that you don’t think about it. It would be like explaining how to breathe.” You pause. “Also, you’re way too rude. You need to be delicate with these things and that’s impossible for you.”

“Is not!”

You turn to stare at him while you dryly ask, “Are you done stalling now?”

His cheeks are flushed with chagrin. “I’m not stalling!”

“Let’s get started, then. I want today to be over. I’m exhausted.” You are tired, true, but you mainly want to run and hide away in your room. Those…thoughts…about Suguru…they still linger in the back of your mind. You’re pointedly not trying to look at him specifically, instead focusing on Nanami or Haibara.

“Fine.”

Satoru makes a show of stomping away. You follow after him with a shake of the head and quiet chuckle. Just a little pushback from people for once and he can’t take it? Suguru will definitely give him more shit later. You wonder if Suguru will lecture him in the showers—

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Where the fuck did that come from? You’re so struck by your own brain’s train of thought that you almost trip over your feet. As you meet Satoru on the other side of the field, you purposely put your back to the first years. You pray that you won’t bump into them. You don’t know that you can stand to face Suguru right now. You’re done. This day has been weird and hellish. You’ll just have to apologize to Satoru later for your impending brutality. You can’t take it easy on him today if you want to be dismissed by Sensei as soon as possible.

“Start already!” Sensei shouts from the other side of the field.

You’re not sure whether Utahime would consider you a friend yet, but since Shoko has the hugest crush on her but is too scared to ask her on an actual date, you’ve spent a lot of time with the two of them. A favorite activity of hers is dancing. It makes sense because it’s an integral part of her technique. More often than not, when you and Shoko visit Utahime in Kyoto, you three end up dancing the night away in her apartment.

And you, practical person that you are, have started to infuse what you’ve learned into your attack style. It’s useful against people like Suguru and Satoru who are so much taller and physically stronger than you. Because, like all things, there are disadvantages to their size. You’re more nimble, more flexible. They naturally swing high which has you mostly going low—sometimes, even dropping to do the splits. When they try to kick, you can dance away or, if you react fast enough, you can catch their leg to sweep them off their feet.

It's been some time since you’ve sparred with Satoru, but that doesn’t mean you’re still not watching. You know how he fights, but today…it’s different. He’s as dodgy as you are. If you didn’t know better, you’d say that he’s pulling his punches. Never let it be said that he’s not a fast learner, so maybe he’s adjusting to match your fight style. He’s like a snake, trying to lash out to get his fangs in you, trying to wrap around you. You narrowly miss getting locked down when he snatches your sweatshirt by pulling yourself out of it.

Just when you think you have his moves down, it only gets weirder. His cheeks are pink. You didn’t think you were going hard enough at him to make him sweat, but maybe you’re wrong. Now, he’s purely on the defensive…or so you think. You should’ve known better. You make the mistake of trying to throw yourself fully on the offense. So, when you aim a high kick at him, he snatches your ankle and roughly yanks you.

It happens fast. You try to catch yourself with your hands, twisting your torso to try to get them on the ground. It doesn’t work in that respect, but it does hook your ankle around Satoru’s neck enough to tip him forward. The back of your head smacks against the ground painfully. The breath is knocked out of you when Satoru’s heavier body lands right on top of you.

“Ow, ow, ow, Sketch. You kicked my head!”

Words are stuck in your throat.

Because, suddenly, you have become hyperaware of your own body. And it’s not exactly like that’s…abnormal…but this…isn’t overstimulation. Or…maybe it is? A shiver runs down your spine. The points of contact where Satoru’s bare skin touches yours are like live wires—heated and sparking.

With the first few buttons of his shirt popped open, your cheek is smashed against his bare skin. Since you’re in a short-sleeve shirt, one of his stupidly huge hands are wrapped around your arm. And…and when he tries to lift away from you, his…his knee slips up and…accidentally nudges up between your thighs…

You bite down on your bottom lip and squeeze your eyes shut, but it’s not enough to hold back the tiny whimper in response to the rush of heat that zips up your spine.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Above you, Satoru goes rigid. You’re mortified. He heard. “Ow!” It’s all you can think to do. You hope that he falls for your desperate attempt to make that sound like a pained whimper. You need out of here. Fuck the consequences. You squeak out, “I yield!”

“Cool!” Satoru sounds as equally panicked as you do. “My prize is your sweatshirt!”

“Whatever! Can you m—”

There’s a burst of cursed energy. Then, you two become a dizzyingly mess of limbs. You yelp and instinctively grip at Satoru, but because he lifted his arm, his shirt rode up, so you’re grabbing at his bare waist and digging your nails in. He squawks at the rough treatment, trying to lean away, and his hand ends up groping one of your tits when he tries to get his bearings.

As soon as your sweatshirt that he pulled toward him with Blue is finally in his hand, Satoru moves away from you. He chokes when he’s yanked back viciously by the back of his collar. Suguru uses so much force that it briefly lifts Satoru’s knees off the ground. Satoru, weirdly, is protective of his prize because he only reaches back to swat at Suguru with one hand while the other keeps your sweatshirt pressed against his body.

“Satoru!” Suguru shouts. “What the hell? We don’t use cursed techniques in sparring—”

“I’m okay!” You scramble to lift yourself up from the ground. “I am okay!” You don’t know who you’re trying to convince, but Suguru isn’t buying it. You can’t blame him. There’s a tremble in your voice, sweat lining your skin, and your heart is pounding away in your chest. “I hope that everyone has a good sparring session! I’m done!”

Sensei and Suguru both call out your name, but you’re already power walking away from the field.

Despite what some people may think, you’re not stupid or naïve.

But…with how much time it took you to figure out what it was that you were feeling today since that time in the gym…you might be in denial.

In the communal showers, under the lukewarm spray of water, you have your hands pressed to your scalding hot cheeks. You continue to take deep breaths. None of this helps. There’s a very real urge to clench your thighs together. Because there’s a very real ache between them. Because your mind is an endless loop—sweat-slick skin and the hair stuck to it, flashes of skin from shirts ridden up, the outline of defined muscles hidden under white shirts, massive hands…

You slap your hands over your face which…doesn’t help. Since you’re alone, you crouch down without the fear of judgement. If you weren’t alone, you think you still wouldn’t care. You’re in the middle of a crisis. Is this a moral crisis? No. Wait. Oh, no. Is this what they call a sexual awakening?

No. That’s stupid. You’ve obviously felt desire before. Kind of. It was about as lukewarm an experience as the water that pounds against your back right now. Your thoughts had been scattered, nowhere in particular, so maybe that’s why it’d been dry—both literally and metaphorically.

This…this is so different from back then. This is warm. It’s heat. You’re throbbing. You didn’t think that you could ever feel this way. You’ve never wanted to touch yourself so badly. And that in itself isn’t a bad thing. You’ve never understood the point in shame over a natural bodily reaction and doing something to satisfy it. It never flustered you as much as your fellow classmates to hear the boys make sexual innuendos.

No, this shame comes from who you want to think about as you touch yourself. Even now, past your distress, you want to drop to your knees, slip your hand down between your thighs, and know what it’s supposed to truly feel like. But you know…you know that if you do that, their faces will be at the forefront of your mind.

You’re not supposed to think about Satoru and Suguru like this!

They are your best friends!

How the hell are you supposed to ignore this? You finally understand what some people mean when they say they feel like a cat in heat. It’s fine. You’ll just…get your mind off it. Ugh. So, going back to your room is a bad idea. If you’re left alone with your thoughts, you’ll never stop thinking about it. What can you do, though? Why is your go-to always hanging out with friends? You don’t want to be around people anymore. You’re so mentally exhausted now.

Right, okay, you’ll drop to your other default.

There was a bird nest in the big tree outside the classroom window. If you’re lucky, the mama bird will stay still long enough for you to draw her.

As always, drawing manages to knock you out of your head.

It calms you down to the point that between one blink and the next, you’re asleep. Not that you realize that until the ground falls out from underneath you and you jerk awake. There’s a part of you that knows whose arms you’re in, though, so your brain is still calm enough to try and drag you back to sleep.

With a sigh, you slip your arms around his neck and shove your face in the crook of his neck. “Sketchbook,” you mumble as almost an afterthought.

“I’ll come back for it later,” Suguru whispers. “You have to stop sketching outdoors when you’re so tired, Squid. You’ll catch cold.”

“Okay,” you agree sleepily.

Suguru chuckles quietly. “Forget it. I’ll lecture you tomorrow.”

***

“This one?”

You take a step to the side, almost shoulder-to-shoulder with Shoko. You hunch over to examine where she points at on the display case. It’s a cute tongue ring with a charm in the shape of a heart. “Pretty, but too flat.” She raises a brow in question. “I like it when they have the little ball on the end. See?” You open your mouth to physically show her the piercing and how you roll it against your teeth. “It’s really satisfying to play with.”

On the other side of the display case, Utahime clicks her tongue. “That could easily turn into a dangerous distraction.”

You tilt your body to stare at her through the crack of display cases. Deadpan, you ask, “You have a problem with my tongue piercing but not with Shoko’s smoking?”

“I’m trying to save you from her bad influence,” Utahime shoots back.

“Hey,” Shoko complains.

Then, hypocritically, Utahime points at her side of the case. “What about one of these?” Clearly, if she’s making suggestions then she doesn’t care all that much about your piercing…ah. Wait. She was joking. Maybe a little. You’re still trying to get a read on how Utahime communicates.

You step over to her side of the case. You can’t catch yourself before you let out a shudder and scrunch your nose in disgust. It’s a bead, sure, but it’s those rubbery ones with equally rubbery spikes. Just the thought of that touching the inside of your mouth is nauseating. “Um…thank you for the suggestion, but…no.” You try to keep it polite as to not offend her.

Utahime snorts. “Okay. Stick to metal.” She blinks. “Oh. What about this one?”

The price tag makes you internally cringe, but then you actually look at it, and you immediately know you want it. You have the money saved up for it, anyway. It’s probably plastic, but it’s shaped and shiny enough to look like it’s made of diamond. At that price, it might be made of that off-brand diamond. The charm on the end is in the shape of a dragon’s head.

Excitement surges through you. You practically bounce over to a store worker to have them unlock the case and take the tongue ring to the register. As soon as it’s paid for, you skip out of the store and make a break for the nearest restroom. Just as you have it torn open and are washing it with hand soap, Shoko and Utahime burst into the restroom behind you.

“You’re really excited about this,” Utahime remarks.

“Ahh.” Shoko finally gets a good look at the tongue ring when you hold it up in the light. “No wonder you’re so excited. It’s like a little rainbow dragon.”

The tongue ring almost goes down the drain when you nearly drop it. Looking over your shoulder, you glare at her. “That’s not it at all!” The defensiveness isn’t helping your case, you realize, so you turn back to the mirror. “Jeez, Shoko, not everything I do is about Suguru or Satoru! Can I not get something because it looks cool?”

In the reflection, you watch Shoko put her hands up in surrender. “Whoa, okay, I didn’t mean to offend you, your highness.”

“Inside voice, please,” Utahime reminds you. Then, to Shoko, she says, “She’s right, y’know. Not everything has to revolve around those two. A woman can dress up solely for herself. We know Duck isn’t the type to make herself uncomfortable for someone else.”

Slowly, you move to face Utahime, expression blank. “What did you just call me?”

Shoko, smartly, uses Utahime’s embarrassed stream of apologies as a chance to escape.

You need new fucking friends.

As you and Shoko meander your way up the main staircase that leads back to campus, she casually asks, “So, what’s going on with you and Gojo?”

Ha. As if you’d admit the truth. “What do you mean?”

“C’mon, pretty girl. Don’t act like you haven’t noticed how quiet Gojo’s been.” For a moment, you stupidly think that she’ll keep the focus on Satoru, but you’re not so lucky. “As for you…it’s hard to explain because quiet is your default, but you’ve been really…dodgy. Acting like a nervous wild animal that runs whenever someone gets close.” Oh, you are praying that she doesn’t connect the dots. No dice. “That someone is Gojo and Geto.”

“You know how they are, Shoko. They’re always so touchy. I haven’t been in the mood to deal with that,” you lie. Well. It’s part lie. What you can and can’t handle always goes day by day.

“No, see, I know that’s a lie. Like Utahime said, you never hesitate to tell us when you’re uncomfortable. If you’re having a bad day, you let us know about it.” Shit. “Geto and I are just trying to figure it out. This started after you and Gojo sparred. I thought maybe you’re scared of Gojo and Gojo is scared that you’re scared of him, but you two are acting weird around Geto, too. So, it can’t be that—”

You try to interrupt in as less a panicky way as possible. “It really isn’t that deep—”

“I thought it had to do with the giant crush that Gojo has on you, but like I said, he’s acting like a flustered virgin around you and Geto—”

“Crush?” Shoko holds out an arm to catch you when your foot catches a step the wrong way and you stumble forward. You jerk to face her, eyes wide with shock. “What are you talking about?! Are those cigarettes laced with something, Shoko? Do you need glasses or something?”

Shoko laughs. “Sure, the person that struggles with social cues is going to lecture me.”

“I’m not dumb.”

“When did I say you were?”

“What I mean is that I could tell if he has a crush on me. He’d act different around me, right? Satoru doesn’t know how to be subtle. Since he acts no different around me than he does anyone else, the only logical conclusion is he doesn’t feel any different for me, either.”

“I can’t believe you’re coming at this like a math problem. No. Actually, I can believe that.” She rolls her eyes. “First of all, emotions aren’t logical. Second, and more importantly, he absolutely acts different around you and Geto.”

You huff. “You just proved your point wrong. If he has a crush on me, he wouldn’t treat Suguru the same, would he?”

“Ah. Wait. You’re right. Unless…ooh.” She knocks one fist against her open palm as if she’s had an epiphany. You’re terrified to hear what she’s come up with. “Unless he’s got a crush on both of you. That’s what it is. It makes so much sense. Oh, man. I’ve got to talk to Nanami and Haibara now.”

Your head is spinning. “No, you’re not talking to them about this! I don’t even think there’s a word to describe how far you’re reaching right now, Shoko!” You shake your hands, desperately trying to get out your nervous energy. “Look, I’d understand if he has a crush on Suguru. They’d be a hot couple, okay? But don’t…don’t bring me into this! That’s…anyway, isn’t that cheating?” Your voice quiets. “Isn’t that…wrong?”

“It’s not like any of you are in a relationship. So, no, I don’t think it’s cheating. I still wouldn’t. Cheating is if the other person doesn’t know you’re involved with someone else.” She shrugs. “I might be a biased opinion. There are a lot of people who say that me liking girls is wrong. So, if everyone cares about everyone else involved, then what’s wrong with more than two people in a relationship?”

Oh.

Well, that’s…

You don’t know what to do with all this.

“Okay, that’s…that’s true. I can understand that. It’s like another one of those things that people worry about when there’s no reason.” She nods in agreement. “You’re still wrong about the crush thing, though. Why would someone have a crush on me? No one ever has. Why would they start now?”

“No one has had a crush on you that you know of,” Shoko corrects cryptically. “Are we going to ignore you called them hot?”

“Are you blind?”

“No. I’m gay.”

“Shoko, I like girls, too. It doesn’t make you less of a lesbian if you admit they’re aesthetically pleasing.”

“Sure, but their personalities are so awful that it just ruins everything else.”

“Are you sure that this isn’t just you being uncomfortable that it’s like looking in a mirror when you see them? You all have the exact same sense of humor. You’re definitely as much of an asshole as them.” She bursts out in a fit of laughter. “Yeah, yeah, keep laughing. You know it’s true.”

Shoko wipes at her tears of laughter. As she starts to walk forward again, she remarks, “You talk big, pretty girl, but you can be an asshole yourself.”

***

If there was one thing that Shoko was right about, it’s that you’ve been obviously skirting around Satoru and Suguru. For three nights straight, both your mind and body toss and turn as you try to figure out where this sudden awareness of their bodies is coming from.

Technically, you’ve been through this before with Suguru, but…was it to this degree?

It’d been one of those rare days that you were allowed to work out in the fields with your parents. When you’d hunted Suguru down to not be so bored as you pulled crops, he’d been hunched over with no shirt on. It wasn’t the first time that you’d seen him without a shirt, per se. You’d both gone swimming before…

You’re not sure what it was. Maybe it was like how your grandparents, who lived in a different village, would remark on how much you’d grown between monthly visits. You would look in the mirror every day, so the changes in yourself were infinitesimal compared to someone that only saw you once a month. It could’ve been that, on that day, your brain had finally caught up on all the ways that Suguru had grown.

That skinny boy with his bony elbows and knobby knees and short, wild hair had grown. He’d finally hit a growth spurt the year before and was taller than everyone else in the village now. He towered over you, skin golden and dripping with sweat. He’d started to slowly grow his hair out and it was long enough to be pulled back in a stubby ponytail. He hadn’t been as toned as he is now, but it was still enough for your eyes to follow along the subtle swell of his biceps.

Jeez, that had been the last year of middle school, you think. Are you having another one of those moments? Did Satoru get caught in the crossfire?

The real question is…why aren’t you as aware of everyone else at school as you are of them? Like you told Shoko, anyone with a pair of eyes can see that they’re aesthetically pleasing. You’ve known that Suguru is a heartthrob since middle school. But…so is everyone else at school.

Shoko is a bombshell. That beauty mark? That poster that had made you blurt out your attraction and caused your mother to smack you, you’re pretty sure the model had a beauty mark, too. Shoko has the whole femme fatale thing going on now that she’s smoking. It’s not like you can blame it on height thing, either. Nanami is as tall as Suguru, the both of them just barely under Satoru. Even with the…stoic loner vibe and haircut…he’s also very handsome. Ruggedly so. Haibara is boyishly handsome, too, and very fit since his family runs a dojo.

So, why?

Why is your body reacting like this to only them?

It’s fine, you tell yourself. You can acknowledge that they’re pretty. There’s nothing wrong with that. You are, as many adults have complained about before, a hormonal teenager. It’s a little embarrassing, your body fixating on them, but you need some good old fashioned exposure therapy. You miss the normalcy that comes with them. You’re bored without them around. Your brain will whip your hormonal body into shape.

The morning after you’ve made your decision, you, admittedly, might…go from zero to a hundred. Despite your exhaustion from the lack of sleep, you think this will be a good day for your senses. Knowing that Satoru and Shoko are the type to show up at the last minute, you rush to meet Suguru on his way to class.

When you see him, back turned, head ducked as he looks at his phone, bag over his shoulder, your feet speed up. And then you throw yourself at his back, locking your arms around his waist, squeezing him tight. Suguru is so surprised that his phone clatters to the ground, yanking out his earbuds.

Suguru lifts his arm up, looking under it, and you poke your head out further to show him it’s you. “Sorry,” you apologize meekly in regard to the fright. You crouch down to pick his phone and earbuds up.

“It’s fine,” he breathes out. “Someone is in a good mood this morning.”

“Sorry,” you repeat. “I feel bad now. You ask me if I want to be touched. I really should’ve done the same.”

“Should I renew my blanket permission? You don’t have to ask me.”

“Permission renewed.”

Suguru chuckles lowly as he tries to turn around in your arms. You take a step back, letting him have room, but you don’t make it very far. He snatches your wrist and yanks you back toward him, making you squeak in surprise. He wraps you up tight in his arms. Your body is tense, you know, only made worse by the rapid beat of your heart and heat prickling across your skin, but you’re trying not to act weird.

“Sorry for being…” You don’t know how to describe it without being incriminating. “My head has been in weird places.”

“Why haven’t you talked to me about it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” you mumble before pressing your face against his chest.

“Since when did you start to feel shame?” Suguru teases. You dig your fingers into his side meanly, knowing it’s a spot that gets him squirming. Sure enough, he tries to wiggle away from you. “Cut it out,” he demands with a laugh. You do as he asks. “Let me be serious, Squid. I want you to talk to me, okay? Have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself or say what you want around me?”

“…no,” you admit after a pause.

“Why start now, then?” His grip around you goes unbearably tight. He buries his face in your hair and confesses, “I was worried that I scared you with how rough I got with Satoru.”

“Suguru!” You fist your hands in the front of his blazer and shove him away enough to make him look at your face. “That might be the most offensive thing you’ve ever said to me!” His brows furrow in confusion. You nearly shake him. “I will never ever be scared of you, okay? I think it’s physically impossible for my body to think of you as a threat.”

Suguru raises his arms in defeat. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Squid. I didn’t think you’d take it so personally.”

“You’re the most important person to me. Why wouldn’t I take that personally?” You step back and cross your arms over your chest. “How would you feel if I asked if you were scared of me?”

“It might actually be physically impossible for you to look scary.”

“Never mind. I’m not talking to you anymore,” you declare with a huff before you start stomping away.

Suguru chases after you with a laugh.

The next day, in the late afternoon, you’re on your way to the bus stop, planning to head into the city for something to eat. You like this bus. Since the school’s campus is so far out, the bus is smaller, and there’s only one seat per aisle. No one will sit next to you. You don’t have to make small talk, either. You finally dropped money for a MP3 player, so when you have earbuds, you’re simply written off as a rude teenager and usually aren’t bothered.

At the torii gate, though, your dinner plans change because Satoru is waiting for you with your sweatshirt over one arm and a bag of takeout dangling from his other hand.

The two of you sneak inside an empty classroom, glowing orange with the afternoon sun. He shoves a desk in front of the one you sit at, giving you both room to eat the ramen he bought. Wordlessly, he passes you the sweatshirt. At first, you were confused over how he even got it, but you realize it’s the one from when you two sparred. It’s still warm, you think, and smells like the really expensive laundry detergent.

Unthinkingly, you shove your face against the fabric, taking a lungful and soaking in the soft warmth. You rub your face against it. Satoru snorts before he speaks directly to you for the first time in…a few days, probably. “It’s like looking at a kitten.”

“That’s rich when you’re cuddling with those soft Digimon plushies,” you grumble. You carefully fold it up and shove it down in your bag. “You didn’t have to wash it, y’know. What? Did you spill something on it or stain it or something?”

Satoru shouts, “No!” His face is bright red, though. The reddest that you’ve ever seen it. It’s answer enough.

“Don’t be so defensive. It’s okay if you did.” Your leg is bouncing from nervousness. This is so bad. You shouldn’t be nervous around best friends. “Are we done being weird around each other?”

He is pointedly not looking at you as he divvies out the plastic containers. “I’m…um…I guess I should apologize first. I didn’t scare you or anything, did I?”

You blink, honestly confused and trying to figure out why you’d be scared. “It was just Blue?”

“Yeah, but still…”

“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.” You break your chopsticks apart but pause. “I’m more disappointed than anything. Using your technique because you’re too lazy to walk and get my sweatshirt? What if the school was suddenly attacked and you didn’t have any cursed energy left because you’ve been flinging it around everywhere?”

Satoru rolls his eyes. “Do you even know how much cursed energy I have? Using it here and there isn’t going to kill me. And what kind of hypothetical is that, anyway? This is the safest place in the jujutsu world.”

“The Special Assault Team could storm campus with machine guns or something.”

“Okay, then I’d have Suguru use Hong to deflect the bullets while something else in his arsenal eats them.”

You shake your head. “And he’d do it, too. For all the lectures he gives you about being spoiled, he’s the worst.”

“Heh! So do you,” he sings.

The worst part is that he’s right. Still, you feel the need to defend your honor. “Who can say no to the jujutsu world’s prettiest princess? Lord Gojo is such a demanding little thing. No one wants to deal with one of his tantrums.”

“I know you’re trying to be an asshole, but I am the prettiest princess in all the land.”

The two of you continue to make innocent jabs at each other while you eat. In the middle of dinner, Suguru texts, asking where you are and what you’re doing. You tell him, knowing that he’ll be here sooner rather than later. Sure enough, not even ten minutes later, he’s at the doorway in baggy sweats and a big white shirt. His long hair is down, still dripping. Did he seriously come here from the showers?

You swallow, a lump in your throat. It’s fine. This is fine. His nipples are hard and poking against his shirt, but that’s a natural bodily response. Just like how you squeeze your thighs together.

Fuck. You need to run your mouth before this gets weird. “You need to blow-dry your hair. You’ll get sick, walking around with wet hair.”

Suguru’s eyes narrow. “Are you lecturing me? Miss Barefoot-in-Snow?”

“I like to see my footprint in the snow and the crunch is nice.”

“Wear socks, at least.”

In unison, you and Satoru give a scandalized, “And have wet socks?!” You’re too busy shuddering at the thought, so Satoru continues on your behalf. “It’s like you want her to die!”

“Remind me to put my blazer over any puddles that you might have to step in, Lord Satoru,” Suguru says dryly.

“More proof to the princess allegations,” you mutter.

Satoru harrumphs. “I never denied being a princess.”

Suguru fully steps inside the classroom, approaching you both, grabbing a chair along the way. “I don’t even want to know.”

***

A month of normalcy passes, and you naively think that all is right in the world once again.

It’s been an exhausting day.

As it happens when the weather starts to warm up, cursed spirit activity is on the rise again.

For Nanami and Haibara’s first mission, you are the one tasked with their supervision. You weren’t anyone’s first pick, but there was no other choice. The more experienced sorcerer assigned was called away last minute to handle a higher grade. There’s a situation somewhere in Hokkaido, potentially Special Grade. A lot of sorcerers have been seriously hurt, so Shoko went with Satoru and Suguru.

You were given one hell of a lecture when you argued with Sensei about him going with the first years instead. A chance to study a Special Grade? You didn’t want to pass that up! Then, maybe you hadmade a bitchy remark about how a potential promotion to principal is getting to his head.

Anyway, the assignment with the first years went fine.

You were lectured yet again, this time by Haibara of all people. There’s a possibility that you…sort of pacified everything in the area. In your defense, the briefing said there would only be a pack of low-level spirits. A separate, higher graded spirit must’ve been close by, heard the violence, and slipped past the veil to get in on the action. When Nanami was smacked away with enough force that he cracked the wall he landed against, you panicked.

Ugh. You’re definitely not beating those Mama Duck accusations anymore.

You force yourself through dinner with them because you wanted to be polite and felt like you owed them since you cut the mission short. It’s dusk, almost night, but the lights of the city and restaurant are still too bright. They decide on a place that’s packed and so loud. By the time you three step outside, you have a pounding headache and nearly fall asleep against Nanami’s shoulder because you’re drained.

After you’re showered and dressed for bed, you flop back on your mattress with a weary sigh. On instinct, you reach for your cell phone, checking for any new messages like you have been the last three days. It’s late. You don’t expect much from them. Satoru used Blue at maximum output three times, Shoko reported. Suguru swallowed the curse when it was weak enough. Satoru will be wiped out and Suguru will be in bed immediately to digest the curse.

Everyone has been sending you pictures. The most recent and most likely last batch of the night are from Shoko. One that shows three bottles of nail polish, one that shows Suguru and Satoru hunched over as they paint their nails, a zoom-in of Satoru with his tongue poking out in concentration, and the last a shot of everyone’s finished nails. Satoru chose an electric blue, Suguru went with black, and Shoko has a baby pink color.

You spend way too long staring at that picture. There’s something in the pit of your stomach, seeing Shoko’s hand so close to theirs. It’s small compared to theirs. You wish that it could be your hand there. You want to run the tip of your finger along the line of their prominent veins. You’d hold both your hands up so they could press one of theirs against it, just to see how much they dwarf your own. What would the fit be like if you laced your fingers through theirs?

Your phone chimes with a text from Suguru. Face hot, you quickly back out of the conversation with Shoko, feeling guilty for a reason you can’t pinpoint. As soon as Shoko told you that Suguru swallowed the curse, you immediately texted Suguru, wanting to check in and remind him to remember to grab some instant rice for the morning. It’ll be easy on his stomach. You made him send a picture as proof. After he did, he wanted to know if you’d eaten yourself. You sent a picture of your meal. Suguru hadn’t responded to that text until now.

I’m proud of you for going out. I always worry about you being lonely, his text says. You’re about to roll your eyes at his mother hen tendencies, but then his next message rolls in. Be a good girl for me until I get back. Night, Squid.

The phone slips out of your hand, the edge of it landing painfully on the bridge of your nose. You jerk up from the mattress, clutching at your nose. Why is your face on fire? He…he was teasing, right? Be a good girl for me. They…they were just some words. You shake your hands, trying to dispel the sudden surge of panicked energy. Be a good girl for me. Great. That’s stuck in your head now. Shit.

Goodnight, Suguru, you reply back with slightly sweaty fingers. Sweet dreams.

Eh. They’re never that sweet without you around.

Is…is this…no. No. This isn’t flirting. It’s just…being a friend. That’s something friends would say, right? Yeah. This is just another roundabout way of saying that he misses you. Yeah, yeah. I miss you, too, you send back. Maybe some of Satoru’s sweetness can rub off on your dreams.

Fingers crossed. See? Friendly banter. If he was flirting, he wouldn’t pull Satoru into the conversation, right? I’ll text you in the morning when we’re leaving.

Rolling over on your side, you curl up into as much of a ball as you can and shove your face against your pillow. You have to stop yourself when you realize you’re rubbing your feet together again because you can’t fall asleep like that. Just go to sleep, you tell yourself.

Closing your eyes, you breathe in and out.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

Over and over and…

…the mattress dips down. One side and then the other. You’re on your belly, arm shoved under the pillow that your face is still shoved into. You tilt your head to the side, eyes still closed, too exhausted to open them. You know these bodies that press up against each side of your own.

Someone’s hand presses against the small of your back and it’s almost like lightning shoots up your spine. In nothing but your sports bra, it’s bare skin against bare skin. But that’s nothing compared to the rush that comes when he leans down to press a kiss to where his hand previously was, so close to your ass, to your…

“Be a good girl,” Satoru quietly sings as the tips of his fingers land on the back of your calf. Your fingers are clenching the sheets. You gasp as his fingers teasingly begin to meander up your legs. Dancing around your inner thighs. “Mm, you’re the prettiest princess in all the land.” Oh. Oh. He’s so close. He’s going to feel how wet you are. “Heh, hell yeah, I am. Are you as pretty down here as you are everywhere else?”

“Satoru,” you gasp before you shove your face back against the pillow.

Another hand splays around the back of your neck, slipping up and around, cupping the side of your face. When he guides you to turn your face back toward him. A thumb runs along your bottom lip, dipping inside your mouth. Just a tease, though. You’re the one that sucks it back into your mouth.

“Such a good girl,” Suguru whispers against your ear. “Sweet girl.” He pulls his hand away, fingers teasingly running along the band of your sports bra.

“Suguru.”

“Let us handle it.”

And your eyes open before they’re closing again. You’re rolling your face against the pillow. As you’re clinging to the last vestiges of your dream, you don’t quite yet comprehend that it’s your hand shoved down your shorts. The line between dream and reality is a blur.

Sheets tangled around your legs are what you imagine what it would feel like to have theirs around yours instead. Your warm breath that fans out across your face as you’re panting against your pillow could be mistaken as theirs while they’re whispering into your ears. The heat inside you is almost unbearable, pitching up into a fervor, only spurred on by the desperate rolling of your hips. It’s like liquid fire rushing through your veins, burning and burning as you hump your hand.

Finally, blissfully, you are overwhelmed by pleasure.

It all crests. Your entire body locks up and trembles. In an attempt to chase after the addictive yet fading sparks, you try to jerk your legs up to get up on your knees, but it’s too soon after your limbs were locked up. Your leg painfully cramps and throbs and you’re fully thrown out of the dream’s clutches.

Clutching at your throbbing leg, you roll over on your back and stare up at the ceiling while you suck in shaky breaths.

What did you do?

What did you just do?

All you can really think to do is shout, “Fuck!”

You’re not there when they return the next day. Just before six in the morning, Sensei called you and said that you needed to report to Kyoto as soon as possible. If you’re honest with yourself, you’re thankful that you don’t have to see them today which only adds to the guilt that’s set in the pit of your stomach like a stone. Why couldn’t this be like a normal dream that fades away before you’re out of bed?

A better question—why did you have a dream like this to begin with?

There’s a Kyoto manager waiting to pick you up from the train station. Before you slip in the car, they hold out a hand. “I’ll need your phone.”

“Excuse me?”

Their eyes seem cold, but you try to convince yourself that’s not the case. You don’t do well with catching on to how other people feel and often mistake cold with cordial. “You’ll be meeting with a few of the higher-ups.” Your eyes widen. And you have nothing to be in trouble for, but your heart rate picks up regardless. “These meetings are expected to be kept private, but your phone is confiscated as a precaution.”

“The higher-ups?” The manager nods wordlessly. “Why?”

“I wasn’t trusted with that information.” The manager steps aside and motions toward the open door. “I’m your escort. Have you had breakfast? They’ve permitted us to stop for something if you need it.”

You don’t take the manager up on the offer.

The higher-ups are already waiting for you when you make it to campus. There are only three in the room, none of them speaking, only sipping at some tea. You recognize Principal Gakuganji, but that’s it. Even worse, they’re seated around a chabudai. They’re not close enough to touch, but it’s still a much more intimate setting than if they were all behind a desk with you in a chair across the room.

Gakuganji states your name and then motions to the empty spot at the chabudai. “Sit.”

The three men introduce themselves—Gakuganji, of course, and the other two are elders of the Zen’in and Kamo clans. You don’t bother to remember their given names. You doubt that you’d ever be in the realm of familiarity with these people and, yeah, maybe you can’t read the room well, but you know they look down on you. Satoru has warned you about elders in clans and those high up on the food chain.

Superiority complex bigger than mine, Sketch, Satoru had said. And with nothing to back it up! They’re weak as hell! Even the geezers in my clan!

Gakuganji is the first to speak. “Yaga should have instructed you to bring your drawings and notes. Did you?”

“Oh. Um. Yes.” You reach inside your bag to pull out the sketchbook. It makes you twitchy when you place it on the table and Zen’in immediately reaches out to roughly grab it and slide it over in front of him. You try not to cringe when you see it slide through some tea that spilled over the rim of his cup.

You’re not allowed to watch Zen’in long. Gakuganji asks, “Is that all?”

“Pardon?”

“I was informed that you had multiple sketchbooks. You’ve kept them since before you entered Jujutsu High, correct?”

Zen’in grunts. “Is there any organization to this?” Your hands fist the hem of your skirt. The disgusted curl of his lip is downright offensive. You keep those pages clean. They’re not cluttered with doodles. You limit one curse to each page. You’ve always had neat handwriting. What more does he expect? “Tch. You’ll have to go through and identify which are with Geto Suguru.”

A cold chill runs down your spine.

“Have some patience, Zen’in,” Kamo snaps. “We’re here for more than that.” Kamo is the youngest which is to say that he’s probably barely hit the retirement age. He smiles at you. “I apologize on his behalf, young lady. Continue, please.” You suspect that he’s meant to be the one you warm up to.

Very suddenly, viscerally, you become keenly aware that you’ve stepped inside a room full of snakes. What’s worse is that a misstep isn’t going to poison you alone. Suguru’s shadow is in the room. You don’t quite understand why your instincts scream danger. Normally, you wouldn’t trust them. Something tells you that you need to right now.

“I threw those away,” you lie. You’re a good liar. With a naturally emotionless expression and flat tone, people have as hard a time reading you as you do with them. “I only had one with me before I became a sorcerer, but I threw it away. It was full and I didn’t see a need for it. It was too messy to be submitted.”

Kamo’s lips twitch. “It’s truly only that one?”

“There are six-hundred blank pages, so I planned for it to last a long time. I have another one that’s more personal. Just to work on my art.” You nearly breathe a sigh of relief. For once, your meticulous nature of keeping a hard line between what you use your sketchbooks for comes in handy. “Here.” You set your smaller, personal sketchbook on the table.” I apologize for not getting it out before. I thought you meant only what I’ve done with cursed spirits.”

Gakuganji takes your personal sketchbook, only briefly skimming through with pursed lips. “I’m sure you’ve been told, but you’re expected to turn in your work to headquarters when it’s full.” You nod slowly. “We’ve been getting feedback about you, not only from Yaga but from other sorcerers. You were the one that helped with the Red Room Curse, yes?”

“Yes.”

Zen’in snorts. “You’re telling me that old urban legend was real?”

“Walk us through your thought process,” Gakuganji requests without acknowledging Zen’in.

“The internet, in the scheme of things, is relatively new. In my studies, I’ve learned that cursed spirits tend to stay away from technology. They usually interact with it only to destroy it. So, the curse using the internet as a tool to curse and travel was a huge red flag to me,” you explain. “Legends and cursed spirits can go hand-in-hand. An existing spirit inspires a legendary monster or the negativity around a legend will create a spirit.”

“Imaginary vengeful cursed spirits,” Zen’in grunts. “We know.”

“Not always,” you correct curtly. His eyes narrow at you. “There’s that old saying…legends have a sprinkle of truth to them. It’s smart to look into these cursed spirits. An imaginary vengeful spirit could have actually started out as a regular vengeful spirit that’s connected to an area or bloodline which is what happened here. Someone cursed a relative in the Taisho era, the spirit bound itself to a red journal, and gained power until it found an easier, faster way to spread itself.”

Kamo hums thoughtfully. “There was another incident last week.” You already know the one that he’s talking about. “Has Yaga told you the outcome of the situation?” You shake your head. “Did the sorcerer on call with you explain what that cursed object was?” Another shake of the head from you. “That was one of the fingers of Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, and you were right about the seal being weak. The seal was reinforced.”

“I’m glad.”

“How did you know?”

“The activity of the cursed spirits in the area,” you lie again. Rather, it’s not the whole truth. But you’re worried that the truth could come off as a concern for them.

When you were in the range of that finger, something inside you just…knew. The cursed energy that radiated from it…there was a sense of anticipation. It’d been disorienting because the spirits in the area had the same feeling, too. It left you reeling and jittery from secondhand adrenaline.

These men don’t need to know that you’re feeling cursed spirits. No. Cursed energy. As the days tick by, you’re getting closer and closer to your dreadful theory being proven correct. You don’t want the higher-ups to come to that conclusion, too. You’re not sure what would happen if they thought you could influence anyone with a shred of cursed energy.

“We’d like to offer you an internship of sorts,” Gakuganji speaks up. “Each of the major clans have a storage of cursed objects, tools, and weapons. We do this so everything isn’t centralized to the school campuses, in case of a successful raid. Starting your third year, we’d like you to visit their main compounds and examine their collections.”

You catch yourself before you agree. “I would need cursed spirits to see how they act.”

“That’s not a problem for the Zen’in. We have a pit full of them.”

Again, you bite back the urge to ask this man why the fuck his clan has a pit of curses. “The pacification alters their behavior. It would only be effective if I hid myself from them, but that doesn’t protect anyone else in the compound. I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of risk.”

Kamo and Zen’in burst out in loud guffaws. The sudden noise makes you visibly wince. When they quiet, Kamo explains the hilarity by saying, “You’ll be in compounds with some of the strongest sorcerers in the world. We can handle some low grade cursed spirits.”

Your brows furrow. “Won’t there be children—”

Zen’in rolls his eyes and waves off your concern with a callous, “They need the practice.”

Is this seriously what it’s like to be born into one of these clans? These men are at the highest place in their clans, in jujutsu society. Better than anyone else, they should understand how rare sorcerers are. Why would they be so careless with the lives of their clansmen? You understand that this is ruthless work, and to coddle children can be a death sentence in itself, but this just seems cruel for the sake of cruelty.

Was Satoru’s world this cruel?

“I’d like a partner with me,” you force yourself to politely request. “Please.”

“One of the first years,” Kamo reluctantly agrees. Your mouth opens to protest, but he holds a hand up. “No Gojo will step foot on my clan’s compound. As for the Geto boy, it’s pointless. His control over cursed spirits is as manipulative as your pacification abilities, right?”

“Yaga says that Nanami Kento is showing promise,” Gakuganji adds.

“For once, I agree with Kamo. I’d burn my compound to the ground before I let a Gojo waltz in,” Zen’in spits on the ground, to which Kamo and Gakuganji make displeased noises. “And I’m not adding more fodder to the army of that brat with the Curse Manipulation.”

An offer, they say, but even you with your struggles to grasp social cues knows that this isn’t an option. No one in your position can say no to the higher-ups. With a smile that’s probably more of a grimace, you grit out, “Nanami will be fine.”

Sensei is in the longue outside the room where you met with the three elders. Said men who had been escorting you out, all rush on, leaving you in your teacher’s care. Not that you want to be around him right now. You might be more furious with him than the people you just met with. Sensei is next in line to be principal. He’s essentially a liaison with Lord Tengen. There’s no way he didn’t know what this conversation would be about. You wonder if he’s the one that suggested this.

Maybe you’re overreacting, but it feels like he’s stabbed you in the back.

There’s a lot that you want to say, but you won’t. There’s no point in it. It’ll only send you to your inevitable breakdown. You feel that rumble inside you. But…maybe you can get some answers out of Sensei before that happens. So, you demand to know, “Why are they like that with Suguru? He hasn’t done anything!”

Sensei drops down in a chair, sighing tiredly as he goes. “It’s…not only Suguru. This is a lack of trust in anyone that’s been marked as Special Grade.”

“Why? What did they do that was so wrong?”

“Do you know what it takes for someone to be considered Special Grade?”

“Anomalies in the system,” you recite. His own words, you might add.

“Yes, but there’s more to it than that. The truth is that Special Grade sorcerers are those who have potential to devastate. You’re a logical girl. You can understand that Suguru has access to an army. Satoru, when he’s at his full potential, will most likely be the strongest sorcerer of the modern era—”

“Fear,” you spit. “This is fear.”

“Yes,” Sensei confirms without a beat. “They’re afraid. There’s currently only one other Special Grade sorcerer. Before this generation, the rank Special Grade had only been reserved for cursed spirits. To suddenly have so many, and all at once, it’s only made the higher-ups more afraid.” He hunches over, putting his elbows on his knees. “It’s not fair, I know, but this is how it has to be. That much power comes with certain responsibilities.”

Your fists clench. “I understand that, Sensei, but where’s the trust? All our lives, we’ve been…no one has ever trusted us. We came here because we wanted to be around people like us. We wanted to be accepted. What’s different between our village and here? Nothing. Sometimes, I think it’s worse. We’re not weapons. We’re people.”

“They know that.”

At your breaking point, you shout, “Do they?!” There’s so much more you want to say. I’m not spying on Suguru. I’ll lie on every single one of those pages that I send to headquarters. Somehow, you have the wherewithal to realize that that’s not a smart idea. Sensei is on your side, but not as much as you thought before. He’s chained by the higher-ups. “I’ll make my own way back to Tokyo.”

And you make sure to slam the door on the way out.

As you’re storming out of the building, you throw your hood up and shove on your sunglasses. You’re storming through campus with a trembling bottom lip and tears slowly trickling down your cheeks. You had hoped that it would be dead, but you’re not that lucky. There are a few students, a few more mature sorcerers, and you keep your head ducked down. You’re biting your lip raw to hold back the sobs threatening to spill out.

You make it as far as the outside of Kyoto High’s barrier before you can’t take it anymore and duck off the path. You drop down on a small boulder and cry. Between gasping breaths and desperately trying to wipe away tears that won’t stop, you pull out your cell phone.

Because you can’t do it. You can’t be around strangers. A two-hour bullet train ride is too daunting. Thinking of the smells of meals that people eat to pass the time, of the noise from even whispered conversations that would be loud to your overworking mind, of only an armrest separating you from another person and how that would make your skin crawl. An even worse hell would be a grueling five-hour drive with a manager back to Tokyo.

Please come pick me up, you text with trembling fingers. Not even thirty seconds later, your phone is ringing, but you quickly deny the call. No, you rush to text. Can’t talk, you add before he gets the wrong idea. Crying too hard to talk, you admit. The confession only makes you sob harder, of course. You can put your fist through monsters, but you can’t talk on the phone with your best friend without bawling like a baby.

Okay, Suguru responds back. I’ll take Hong there.

Manta ray back? I don’t want to be around people.

Whatever you want.

Thank you, Suguru.

Through the canopy of the trees, you see the glitter of Hong’s rainbow scales. You’ve managed to stop crying. And you thought that you’d be okay, but seeing the concern on Suguru’s face when he finds where you’ve hidden yourself away just brings it all back.

At this point, it’s not even so much the meeting. This is pure frustration with yourself. It’s shame and embarrassment. Just a little stress and you buckle. You hate this body. You hate this brain. Why can’t you be stronger? Why can’t you push yourself through the pain? Why does there have to be pain at all?

Suguru doesn’t speak. He sits down in front of the boulder, leaning his back against it. You spread your legs, allowing his shoulders to fit between them. He knows your tights are a barrier from skin contact, so he can freely lean his head to the side, resting against the inside of your knee.

Then, Suguru waits in silence.

You need his rock-solid presence but can’t bear him watching you in this pathetic state. It only makes things worse. Normal people would want to be comforted, to be hugged, but that’s just more stress. You can’t talk like this, so you feel stupid. You feel eyes on you, so you cry harder because you’re ashamed that you got here in the first place. If you were back on your campus, you would hide yourself away in your room until you’re calm. That’s not an option here.

And…and Suguru knows this. He knows you. He won’t look at you, won’t acknowledge that you’re breaking down. Why are you so kind? You think of those three stupid, old men. How can you be afraid of someone so kind?

“Su—” you choke on his name. You can’t speak past the lump in your throat. Angry that you can’t even manage his name, you ball up your fist and start banging it against your thigh. Like that can make your body cooperate. Or…it’s punishment. It might be that.

“Squid,” Suguru whispers as he reaches out to gently take your wrist. “I know you’re mad at yourself, but don’t do that. Why don’t I tell you about the cursed spirit we saw? We can make a game of it. I try to describe it. You try to draw it.” You shake your head furiously. “You’re stuck in the loop, aren’t you? Don’t you want out?”

The loop, you call it. The way you’re stuck in an endless cycle of berating yourself for being like this. You’ll never stop unless you have a distraction and his presence isn’t enough.

When Suguru hands you your sketchbook and a pencil, you take it.

There are a lot of tear stains on the paper by the time you calm all the way down, but it does the trick.

“Eh? That doesn’t look like it at all,” Suguru mutters when you hand him the finished product. “I didn’t think I was this bad at descriptions,” he remarks with a chuckle. “Still cool, though.” Slowly, he gets to his feet, patting his pants down to get all the dirt off. He turns around and holds out a hand to you. “Ready to go?”

You take his hand as an answer.

You don’t let go.

Suguru’s eyes widen a little when you thread your fingers through his. The two of you stand there for a minute before he’s squeezing your hand and guiding you back out to the main path. A manta ray spirit is waiting there for you both, low enough that you can step on it. You’re forced to let go of his hand, but you don’t want to lose that point of contact. You’re seated behind him, cross legged. You slip your arms around his waist from behind and press your forehead against his back.

Suguru covers his hands with yours and never stops during the whole ride back.

***

You decided that you wouldn’t tell anyone about the details of that meeting until you absolutely had to. The parts of it that you had to agree to, anyway. You won’t talk about them wanting you to spy on Suguru and keep track of his spirits because you’re not doing that. It’s an invasion of privacy that you refuse to be part of. Unlike the higher-ups that see Suguru and Satoru as tools to be kept track of, they’re your best friends.

Eventually, they’ll notice that you’re not marking which spirits are his. You’ve already started to come up with excuse—you forgot, you’re too focused on capturing the spirit on the page, you had it in your mind when you were preparing them to be sent to headquarters but forgot it. They’ll catch on, probably. After that, you’ll just lie. And it kills you inside a little, but you’ll have to stop marking the date on them. It really will make it harder to remember which assignments were with Suguru and which weren’t.

Suguru knows not to ask you about what made you so upset. Maybe he’ll give a half-hearted try in a week or two, but it’s too fresh. You’ll only get upset when you remember all the negative emotions that came with a breakdown. The only smart thing those old bastards did was to have you meet with them on a Friday.

It’s Sunday now and you feel a little better. Your defiance has helped mute your anxiety a little, you guess. After going the rest of Friday and all of yesterday without speaking, you think you can manage it today. Words don’t feel as heavy. It’s not as much a daunting task as it was before. Just like going to spend time with Satoru and Suguru is a little less tiring. That’s the thing, you love to hang out with them, but it still drains your battery. It doesn’t drain as fast or as much as it would if you were around some random strangers, but down goes that metaphorical battery all the same.

Satoru is already at the meeting place—one of the many koi ponds sprinkled around campus. You don’t want to deal with grass against your skin today, so you spread out a spare blanket from your room. Satoru hums before he’s scooting over to sit down on the blanket next to you.

The two of you are side-by-side, watching the occasional koi break the surface with a splash. It’s quiet. Peaceful. Satoru rocks back and forth, fidgeting with the hem of his pant legs. You’re not surprised when he finally asks the question because you’ve been expecting it. “Are you okay?”

“Better,” you answer honestly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Oh.” From the corner of your eye, you see him frown. “Is it…because it’s me? I know I’m not good with…feelings and stuff. I can just fuck off if you wanted to just spend time with Suguru and talk and stuff…”

You smile. It’s small but sincere. “It’s not that, Satoru. If I wanted to talk about it, I’d feel okay doing it with you, too. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to cry again.”

He cringes. “Yeah, I don’t want you to cry, either.” He’s at the edge of the blanket and starts picking at blades of grass. “Is there anything I can do so that doesn’t happen again?”

“No,” you answer honestly. You’re surprised to see him flinch, like you’re hurting his feelings. He usually has thick skin. Ah, but he’s also used to being the answer to everyone’s problems. You don’t think there’s much that he can’t do. “The breakdowns are a part of me. There’s always going to be a potential to have one.” You pause. You’d rather not have him stress over this. “I can try to ask for help before it gets to that point, though. I don’t know—can you extend Infinity to protect others?”

“Ha, no. Not yet.”

“Well…I could use your blackout glasses? Light makes me the most sensitive.”

He nods slowly. “Yeah, same.”

“I won’t use them, then.”

“I can handle it for a little bit if it’ll make you feel better,” he mumbles. “I kinda get what you’re going through. I used to get super overwhelmed when I was a kid, before I could control Infinity. I would get really angry, though. There were a few times that I’d grit my teeth so hard that I’m shocked now that my teeth didn’t get chipped. I guess a part of me was scared to cry in front of tutors, so I’d be angry instead.”

You do the thing that Suguru stopped you from doing when you were in the midst of it—beating a fist against your thigh. “I get mad, too. Just at myself.” Your brows furrow. “Oh. I get angry before that point, I think. Sometimes, when I’ve been by myself, I’ve punched walls.”

Satoru’s shoulders slump. You think…is that a sigh of relief from him? “I don’t feel so bad now,” he admits embarrassedly. “The clan was kind of understanding how sensitive I am with lights because of the Six Eyes, but…they never really got how much everything else built up.” He’s fidgeting even more, uncharacteristically nervous. “I never wore tabi socks with my yukata when I went out, in case there was some water somewhere. I hate how clothes feel on my skin when they’re wet. It’s…clingy.”

It’s slowly dawning on you. Curious, you ask, “How do you feel about cotton balls?”

You watch a shudder roll down his spine. “After my first cavity, I made sure I’d never get another one. I almost sent the dentist across the room with Blue when he put those things in my mouth.”

“Eye contact?”

“Ugh, I hate that stupid shit. My old man meets with people from other countries, and they’re obsessed with it. I’m so lucky I’m in Japan.” He sticks his tongue out in disgust. “I wish I was around you when I was a kid. The sunglasses idea saved my life and my reputation. Now, people can’t figure out where I’m looking.”

“Reputation? You have one of those?”

“Rude,” Satoru complains and pokes you insistently. “People think you’re all sweet, Sketch. You’re as much of an asshole as I am, y’know. People just forgive you because you have that pretty face and cute smile. It’s the same with Suguru, too. You’re both the golden kids!”

Your heart skitters at hearing pretty face and cute smile, but he included Suguru. It’s just an observation. An exaggeration in your case, definitely, but whatever. “It’s not being an asshole. I’m just blunt.”

“So am I!”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, and I’ve also studied other people, so I know what’s too far.” You hesitate. “Usually.” Another pause from you before you finally settle on a reluctant, “Sometimes. But definitely more than you.”

He’s pouting at you. “You could be nice and teach me.”

“You don’t care enough to learn.”

“I care about people!”

“I know that.” Hmm, how do you explain it? “I’ve kinda learned from seeing you interact with Nanami and Haibara that you use that bluntness as a way to help. Put you and, say, Suguru together. You both see the same flaw and point it out. You’re not as nice as Suguru, but you don’t waste time with niceties. They’re there to learn and be critiqued. It’s not a good idea to inflate their egos. That gets people killed.”

Satoru nods enthusiastically. “See? See! You get it!”

You rush to add, “But…you should give them encouragement. It sucks to constantly be told how you’re not doing things right. I know that way too well. Just ask Suguru.”

“You’re way too soft for this line of work, Sketch.”

This day is important, though you won’t realize that until much, much later. But isn’t that how life is? Hindsight being twenty-twenty and all that.

Today is the last day that you will see Satoru and Suguru smile genuinely for a very, very long time.

[silenzahra]

Hello everyone. I'm back ^^

I'm honestly not so sure about how to approach this post. I just wanted to let you all know that, well... I'm here. I'm not 100% fine, but I'm doing better. I've taken this week off to rest and focus on myself, and it's done wonders. I've been going out as much as possible, not only to go to work but also to spend a good time walking my doggies and playing with them, and I've also been watching some shows and trying to slowly get back to reading and gaming.

Regarding my previous post, there's really not much I can do except learn to live with it. I know it's gonna be a long and hard process, but I have to look after myself and my mental health, and it really warms my heart to know you're all there for me. I checked Tumblr yesterday before going to bed and felt so touched to find all your comments and advice. Again, you made me feel so supported and loved. I just can't thank you enough for being there for me. @itsavee4117 @megamagimugi @roscolate @keakruiser @stripetkattelalala54

@peaches2217 @bberetd @ask-rosalina-and-her-family @c-lavanda, thank you so much for all your love and support on my previous post, for taking the time not only to read but also comment to make me feel better. I'm really so sorry that I worried you, but truly, knowing that you're all there for me really means the world to me and makes me feel so warm inside. You've all given me precious advice that I'm definitely taking and showered me in love with your kind and sweet words. I hope you know how amazing you all are and how lucky the people around you are to have you 💖

Also, @multicolour-ink, I'd like to especially thank you for the valuable advice you gave me. Last night, after reading your comments, I searched and called a free helpline in my country and, again, it's done wonders. It was simply amazing to have someone there who listened to me and never judged my emotions, and then offered some advice on what to do to handle my situation. It was such a relief to, you know, actually talk to someone and feel supported also in real life. Thank you so so much, truly 🫂

And of course, @vulpixfairy1985, my dear friend... How can I even start to thank you. You immediately reached out through Instagram and have been there every single day, sharing your wisdom and offering your advice, and you even made me feel joy again after two days of only feeling bad things. It's thanks to you that I've been able to feel happiness and excitement again, to reignite my spark of joy that I thought I'd lost, and I know no matter what I do, I can never thank you enough. You truly are a gem, my dear friend, and I thank life every day that I met you and our wonderful friends. I know I've said this before, but this community is truly the best, warmest, healthiest one I've ever been in. And I feel so lucky to be a part of it.

I'll still take things easy. I'll take my time to check all my tags and PMs, and I'll probably be active only on evenings (Spain's time). Thank God, I can enjoy again the things I love, so I hope to see all your content eventually. Only that, well, I'll be slow. I wanna keep focusing on myself and taking those walks with my dogs. And this Friday I have a concert and I finally, FINALLY, feel excited about it. It's my favorite band, after all. I was worried I wouldn't get to enjoy it due to my mental state, but I'm actually so eager!

So yes, guess I can say I'm back, even if I won't be as active ^^ I know I have yet to finish checking the doc, and I'm extremely sorry that I'm taking forever, but of course, I appreciate all the effort you made to help me build up this new blog. As well as, of course, your support on the three posts I've fixed/redone so far. Hopefully soon I can get back to it and fix the rest of my old content.

But we'll see. Right now I'm just happy I can be back with you. I hope you've all been doing fine, dear friends ^^ I love you all so much 💖

Also, if you wanna see the little fella who's been with me this entire week, just click below to meet my beloved Baloo ^^

(Now I look a bit different btw, I went to the hairdresser yesterday, but I'll show my new hair another time.)

[aluria-sevhex]

the power of friendship didn't work :(

[Hi, stardust! If you wanna read all of her posts as she plays through ISAT, they can all be accessed in this masterpost and are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

This particular post starts in the middle of a play session and conversation directly following the last one, so it might be a good idea to have read that one first!]

notes:

-hm? the stars? yeah what *is* Sif's deal with them. so help me if the kid is right and they came from the sky-

-""how do you deal with it?" (you don't.)"

-hehe Sif is thinking of a loophole

-D: i messed up with Bonnie

-guess i'll talk to Loop

-Bonnie's favorites are rice and pineapples... and the third thing isn't palmiers... so the third thing has to be the samosas

-oh my god. Sif asked if Loop is jealous of his allies, and Loop was like "like what? like i'm your partner waiting for you to come home and then when you do all you can do is talk about hoe much fun you had with your friends?"

BUDDY. YOU'RE TELLING ON YOURSELF.

-"forget i said that. it was an awful metaphor." mmhmm. hmmmmmmmm

-oh? if they're not jealous of the party... are they jealous of Sif?

-gonna loop to help Bonnie

-huh. if i zone out the skill won't be as useful. i won't then

-"Isabeau looks nicer, you think" hehe

-:o the second time, Siffrin thinks the belief should change

-"but changing the script is scary" oof

-gonna have to find a craftonomy book

-"also, why am i thinking about candles right now?" strange. oh yeah it *was* in one of the dorm rooms

-i accidentally zoned out for Odile's thing this time ;_;

-FUCK I DON'T KNOW THE TYPE OF SAMOSAS.

WAIT. BONNIES PROFILE.

"Weak to: Cheese

Resists: Veggies"

...FUCK I MESSED UP

-talking to Isa. "you will always make the joke. you have to keep some sort of routine to stay sane, and if always making the joke is how, so be it." funny but also D:

-??? Sif and Loop just had a thing about how quiet Sif is...

-time to loop forward to see what the samosas' deal is

-looped to Floor 3. gonna find a craftonomy book

-HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE POWER OF CRAFT BREAK A

-oh THAT'S where a chain for the pendant is!!!

-hm. apparently Body Craft is illegal in Ka Bue, but if you know where to look...

-in the bathroom again. eavesdropping.

-"in some countries we would be expected to talk about the men in our lives and nothing else. would you like to do that" "we've only got the one man, madame, and ew" LOL

-oh my god. they're talking about Isabeau confessing.

-love how Odile and Bonnie have figured out that Isa has a crush on Siffrin but Sif and Mira are oblivious. truly an aspec mood

-WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WHY DID A SIFFRIN SPRITE APPEAR I JUST GOT A FUCKING ACHIEVEMENT FOR IT HUH???

-oh did i completely misinterpret that part of Bonnie's profile

-looping back

-time to help everybody again

-"(say the line, Siffrin)"

-"coming to a country she has no ties to, but wanting to create those ties herself. it feels almost revolutionary."

"you're jealous." oh?

-...what if Siffrin is from the country that disappeared. it makes sense with all the weird shit, and would also explain why they don't remember much of it

-time to help Bonnie!

-also i am once again wondering what the deal is with Siffrin and stars. 'stars' is in the game's title and they clearly have some sort of importance... fuck it speculation time. what if Loop and Siffrin are both from the same place (possibly the disappearing country) that had a lot of ties to the star or the sky or something, and Loop was in a time loop or something st some point for some reason, maybe to fulfill a purpose, failed, and is now trying to help Siffrin with whatever the purpose of Siffrin's time loop is

-anyway. Bonnie time!

-:0 Bonnie wants me to teach them how to fight

-awwwwwwww this is so fucking precious

-Sif. did you seriously fucking forget thst you don't like being touched? or are you that oblivious.

-...OH. awwww :( they do like it but he's not used to it...

-:0 BONNIE'S SISTER NAME REVEALED (Nille/Pétronille)

-oh wow Nille is just like me fr fr (i don't like being unexpected touched, and there's been times where it ended in me screaming too)

i am not able to suplex people tho lol

-feel like Siffrin's memory issues are either magic bullshit or. trauma? or. magic bullshit AND trauma? idk but this bitch is not mentally healthy

-lol??? Bonnie poked Sif XD

-LMAO SIF FUCKING TRIPPED- wait. whh does that have ominous audio

-OH? Sif lost their eye protecting Bonnie?

-i don't think Bonnie's apparent guilt is JUST about Siffrin, it's gotta be at least a little about Nille

-AWWWWWWWW BONNIE HUGGED SIFFRIN

-time to help Isabeau!

-hold on gonna talk to Loop first

-lol Sif asked if Loop and the King are friends

-ok. listen Siffrin. what the FUCK do you mean by "it's complicated" how does one have a complicated relationship with the fucking stars???

-ok NOW i'm helping Isa

-...oh my god. Isabeau's name. is a pun. (－‸ლ)

-:0 they're staring at the sky together

-hmmmm why do you wanna change the subject, Sif?

-also it's so sweet that Isabeau noticed the little things :]

-shy nerd Isa does not compute

-PLEASE ISA CONFESS ALREADY THIS IS PAINFUL

-Aaaajdjkaskdljdjdjejfjghtjgjgjgjfn

-ToT THE TIMELINE IS *DETERMINED* TO MAKE SURE THAT ISA NEVER FUCKING CONFESSES

-hehe Bonnie, Odile, and Mirabelle arrived

-gonna go thru the entire House in one loop >:)

-"You have ENOUGH of all those STUPID SADNESSES standing in your BLINDING WAY." Sif is getting SICK of the loops.

-...uh-oh. everybody's scared? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LOOP(?)

-kinda like when Bonnie was shown to have been listening in and it culminated in them saying they hate Siffrin over and over before things rewound slightly

-"don't kill it in one strike, or they'll notice"

-...i can make it so Sadnesses run... shouldn't i buff my friends' levels tho? so they have all their skills.

-I GOT THE SHARPENING STONE

-fuck. Sif almost forgot to stop Isabeau from running into the Tears

-Sif is now thinking about the difference between Tears and being frozen in battle and nearly panicking. i think this game should be renamed Anxiety Simulator 2023

-if i had a nickel for every RPG i liked where the main character is depicted in monochrome and has severe mental health issues and is in some sort of cycle, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

-Frin once again said nya and is sick of it

-Siffrin's accumulated stats + the stat boosts from the hangout memories make the group *terrifyingly efficient*. i made it so the Sadnesses are scared of me but i hunt them down anyway just to get those levels for the skills. i am attaining godlike power by the standards of this place and it is horrifying

-every time i get a notification that Siffrin's leveled up i get kinda scared...

-CRAFTONOMY BOOK FOUND! TIME CRAFT CRASH COURSE!

-O_O CRAFTING TIME WAS HYPOTHESIZED TO REQUIRE KILLING THE USER

-tbf Sif's time loop abilities do have weird limits... like absorbing the memories of battles to go forward...

-time to call Loop!

-dang. that was not as helpful.

-hey i found the hand-drawn tarot deck and got a 2 of Swords this time

-Floor 1 boss time

-snack time!

-picking the onigiri this time

-going to log off for the night

-back

-obligatory title screen music appreciation :D

-hehe talked to Bonnie after the snack time

-"which one am I?" "you're my cousin who i see once a year and we have a really really good time!"

-:0 one of the papers in Euphrasie's office is a love letter from Claude

-hm. a spreadsheet with two columns: "Save Vaugarde" and "Other"... the first one has a lot of names, the second doesn't

-:0 the person didn't give their partner the earring yet

-"(You're not sure how many deities you worship.)"

-uh-oh. i think Odile thinks it's sus that i knew about the familytale

-the book on shields "smells weird"

-I THINK ODILE THINKS IT'S SUS THAT I KNEW THE CARROT METHOD

-"you pick up the key, and do not think about how bad you are at your job"

-ohhhhhhhh wait does Odile have two names because she's half-Vaugardian? either that or. a gender thing?

-hehe Bonnie is saying it's stupid to talk about what'll happen if we lose

-awwww everybody promised that we'd protect each other

-"the taste is familiar to you, somehow" yeah cuz i ate fish heads on a previous loop

-"Sif is MY Siffrin nickname, Mira." lol

-ok Odile definitely thinks i'm sus

-...SOME. CRAFTS HAVE A DISTINCT SMELL. I KNEW IT. SUGAR. TIME CRAFT IS SUGAR

-YEAHHHHHHHH TIME TO UNITE THE PENDANT AND CHAIN

-oh :< doesn't work

-oh fuck Sif u ok?

"(Nothing ever goes right in your life.)" (and the text is shaky :( )

-hehehe note earring

-hm. the pottery class has issue 87

-bathroom break!

-Sif feels... happy?

-"even though you're not friends, you're just allies" idk you guys seem like friends to me

-uh. Sif is calling themself stupid again.

-that weird ghost Sif again...

-i am definitely not the only person to compare the paper Tristesse to SOMETHING. but i'm doing it anyway

-hehe level 69 nice

-...did i need to sharpen the Keyknife before opening the door?

-hm where's the last of the bomb components located? the gizmo-gadget is in the room and the secret ingredient is in Claude's hand... but what about the thingy-thing?

-YES SIF YOU ARE ALL FRIENDS

-FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED

-SNACK TIME

-malanga fritters :D

-"in this moment, you are loved"

-:o Mira is brushing Sif's hair

-hehehe Sif wants Isa to be emotionally vulnerable first

-the King fight music slaps

-no it was not always this easy to fight him

-...who helped the King harness Time Craft

-the universe? ...wishing on a star...?

-Isa can't remember... hm...

-why don't they know what the universe is???

-Mira saw an article that said the King is from elsewhere. maybe he's from the disappearing island? or wherever Sif is from. altho those two places might be the same

-THE TALLNESS. JUST HAPPENED???

-what can he see?

-how is freezing Vaugarde the universe's will?

-...what if. what if the only way to break the time loop is to let the King win. just let him freeze everything and leave Vaugarde.

-"you know it's just a way to make you stop fighting, but..."

-i have once again killed the King

-..."I can never go back home." T_T

-i don't think friendship will fix the loops. currently talking to everybody

-GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ISA WHEN WILL YOU CONFESS LMAO

-*sighs* time to talk to Euphrasie

-I KNEW IT. IT'S THE SAME. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

-Siffrin calling himself stupid counter just went up :(

-and again...

-...Odile?

-Siffrin's friends are noticing that something's wrong

-...and. i looped again.

-TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THE TIME LOOP

-i think Sif called themself stupid again... and again

-:0 memory of Family... a way they could catch up?

-:( Siffrin wants Isa to touch him. but it'll never happen.

-talking to Loop

-aw. when asking Loop how to help everyone and then selecting who to help, Siffrin refers to them as family members now :]

-OK I CAN ASK LOOP ABOUT THE WEIRD SIFFRIN SPRITE

-RE: Isabeau trying to confess and Siffrin being oblivious, Loop is probably thinking "wow! this motherfucker is so dense!"

-logging off for now

[iron-sparrow]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Thank you so much for asking! Seriously, I lit up a little bit seeing this pop up in my inbox.

I'm gonna try to keep this one shorter, for everyone else's sakes, but I do have a rambling and somewhat-abstract variant available.

Iced coffee, woo! I used to make little videos for Insta of my coffee-making process with my bird perched on my shoulder, in frame. I don't make those vids anymore, but I still enjoy making my drinks and consuming far too much caffeine. (P.S. I think charging extra for non-dairy is so unfair.)

Big-ass machines! Watching trains and planes and Pacific Rim and hearing Optimus Prime and meeting Rasputin in Destiny... SO COOL.

ALL the fucking stationary. ✎ I don't spend quite as much money as I used to on stationary, but I still love finding cute washi tapes and stickers and stuff at Kinokuniya or from independent Asian artists online. I tend to gravitate toward nature-themed stuff, though I'm really in love with the Erenville tape a raiding friend got me recently for my birthday!

Okay, I really love the critically-acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV. You know, the one that includes the entirety of A Realm Reborn AND the award-winning Heavensward expansion up to... Oh, the free trial is up to Stormblood now, isn't it? Anyway, this game changed my brain chemistry and introduced me to so many amazing humans to raid and RP and just vibe with. (Pointing at you!)

Birds are incredible. I mean, I kind of love almost any animal you tell me about. Birds have always had a special place in my brain, though. When I finally got a cockatiel a few years ago, my long-time friends just kind of nodded and said, "Always knew this would happen." Here's my precious little satanic dander ball, Beelzebub...

Throwing in some tags because lovely people have sent me this ask, and I wanted to make sure they KNOW I SAW IT. Get tagged, @uldahstreetrat & @aislingsurrow!

[rabbitsrams]

I see a lot of girl!dad and boy!dad schlatt HCs out and I absolutely love them to bits and pieces!

But what about queer-kid!dad schlatt HCs? Like I see some brief of mentions of the kids being gay and schlatt being supportive of that but not really much else.

Like what if his son is into girly things like barbie, makeup, dresses, and is a little bit more sensitive than your average manly man. He’d ofc be sad that his son isn’t interested in baseball or most/any of his machine stuff, but ultimately he just wants his son to be happy and if that means being somewhat of a girl!dad to his son then so be it!

And he’d do the same thing with his tomboy daughter, but he’d be pretty excited if his daughter’s into baseball and/or his machine stuff.

And if his comes out as queer, I feel he will be incredibly supportive… like to that point of it being embarrassing.

His kid brings home his same-sex or gender nonconforming partner? Be sure that he WILL bring out the gun and do vague threats towards the ‘lucky’ kid. Especially if they’re a guy or a masc leaning kid.

Heartbreak? He will be there for every one, wiping away every tear that pours down his baby’s face. Even if his son’s traditionally masc, he’d still do it because he’s doesn’t want his son to bottle up his feelings like he did when he was younger.

If his kids is somewhere in the aroace kingdom? He’d be supportive of that too, I’d feel that if his kid’s on the more extreme end of the aroace spectrum… he’d be more relieved then anything because that’s one less thing that he’d have to worry about.

Kid’s now somewhere under the trans umbrella? You bet you’re bottom butts that he’s gonna get ANYTHING that his precious angel needs! Wardrobe changes? They’re stocking up on all of the kid’s preferred clothing like it’s the fucking apocalypse! Pronouns changes? Will contently correct oneself until he gets it right! Puberty blockers? Gotcha covered! Hrts? Already on it’s way! Top surgeries? Bottom surgeries? Any other gender-affirming surgeries? It’s scheduled as soon as they turned the legal to do so and as soon as the kid shows interest in surgeries! Not interested in any surgeries or hormones? Still will love his baby no matter what they do.

And if there’s bigotry or bigots out there? He will fight everyone of bigots tooth and nail if it means his kid will be happy (even if it means getting the gun out).

And god forbid his kid, HIS FLESH AND BLOOD!!! Is ever HATE-CRIMED!!! He will rain the fury of a thousand suns upon those idiots who decide to hate-crime HIS BABY!!! If he knew the identities of those unfortunate people… let’s just say he wouldn’t be so civil with those ‘people’…. and they’d probably end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

ya…

Anyways! I said my piece here, so feel free to add anything but I think I’ve went over the most important things. -🍓🫐anon

hey there! wow, this is amazing. so nuanced and i so agree! he'd love his kid no matter what. i loved reading this it was super sweet and captures schlatt's essence so very well. well done nonie <3

i'm not queer (i'm a cishet ally) so i'm not really sure if it's my place to continue on this or speak on queer kids' experiences, but i def want to boost queer voices regarding this topic (or anything related to it too ofc). if any LGBTQ+ writers want to continue this, hit my line! tag me in anything or send me an ask and i can read & boost it <3

but i do wanna add a bit to the girly things son and tomboyish daughter part bc that was my brother and i's experience: we kinda had a mix of everything lmao, i was a bit of a tomboy and he was more sensitive and not rly a "manly man" (gender roles who)

his daughter being super into old video games from his childhood and loving the consoles. schlatt being OVERJOYED and playing with her. she gets better at the game than he does lmfao (i'm just imagining mario kart wii idk why)

if she's more crafty with fixing up cars/machines/etc he'd love to help her out. buys her parts she needs and when she's done he's showing it off to everyone

and like i said before, schlatt 100% would go to all of his daughter's games if she was on a sports team ofc

and if his son wanted to get dolls or other girly toys he'd get it for him in an instant and even play with him!!! (my brother would always play dolls w/ me hehe)

also you teaching him how to do makeup (if u know how ofc) if he wants to learn <33

you and your son doing makeup on schlatt and him looking AMAZING. he's SO proud that his son made him look so good :D

lowkey though gender roles don't exist in this household, as long as the kid is happy then schlatt's happy <3

[ink-flavored]

OC Questionnaire Tag Game

I was tagged by two people for this one, so thank you to @leahnardo-da-veggie & @ink-enchanted!

Rules: Answer 3 questions in your OC's voice and then give the next player 3 different questions to answer.

I have six questions because I was tagged twice, so I'll put my answers under the cut and do everything else right up top

Tagging: @foxys-fantasy-tales @jezifster @bargainbincheese @friendlyshaped @saintarthur01 @hallwriteblr and anyone else who wants to play!

Your Questions

Do you miss someone?

Are you more selfless or self-centered?

How many hot dogs do you think you could eat in one sitting?

~

My turn! I'll answer these for Pride, Justice, Henry, and Priscilla.

My Questions

Which of the 7 deadly sins are you?

What is something you cannot live without?

If you are the "good guy", what, if anything, could make you switch to the "bad side"? If you are the "bad guy", what, if anything, could make you switch to the "good side"?

If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?

What is your most treasured possession?

Do you think you could win in a fight against your nemesis?

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins are you?

Pride: "You're fucking kidding me, right? Like, you're joking?"

Justice: "Uh... I don't like to think about it, sorry."

Henry: "Every man has his vice... Most people would guess greed, and I suppose they'd be onto something."

Priscilla: "Wrath. 💞"

What is something you cannot live without?

Pride: "Weed. It's proof that humans can do one thing right."

Justice: "People. The people I love. I wouldn't be anywhere without them."

Henry: "The farm. Percy'll get onto me for saying it, but I can't imagine ever living in any automobile-choked city again."

Priscilla: "I never go anywhere without the lovely engraved pistol Henry gave me for our first anniversary."

If you are the "good guy", what, if anything, could make you switch to the "bad side"? If you are the "bad guy", what, if anything, could make you switch to the "good side"?

Pride: "I'm gonna need the Big G to personally descend from His throne of gold and suck my dick before I even consider that. And I don't have a dick, so we're all gonna be waiting a long ass time."

Justice: "Depending on who you ask, I've already gone to the 'bad side', and the catalyst, for me, was trying to stop an injustice. To them, I prevented a good deed on purpose. I want to believe I'm still 'good', but I think it's all relative. No one wants to believe they're evil."

Henry: "Maybe if it ever stops being damn good business to be the bad guy, I'll hang up my hat."

Priscilla: "When the world gives back everything it's taken from me."

If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?

Pride: "I dunno... for my life to not suck?"

Justice: "Peace and understanding between people. It wouldn't fix everything, but it would go a long way."

Henry: "Enough acreage to board horses. Now that's good business."

Priscilla: "Darling, if you tell someone what you wish for it won't come true!"

What is your most treasured possession?

Pride: "Dante let me have some of their paints they didn't want. I've used them up now, but... yeah."

Justice: "My reading glasses! They don't actually do anything, but they're fun to wear."

Henry: "The dogs."

Priscilla: "This is cheating a bit, but our dogs are simply the most precious things I could possibly think of."

Do you think you could win in a fight against your nemesis?

Pride: "Abso-fuckin-lutely."

Justice: "I don't really have one. I guess the concept of injustice is my nemesis, in which case... I'm doing my best?"

Henry: "I'd rather not get close enough to find out."

Priscilla: "Oh, I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult. I've gotten this far, after all."

[dangerpronebuddie]

Hiii Maggie 💕💕💕

For the wip ask game (the highlighted ones ☺️)

-❤️🪐

Hiiii Saturn 💕💕💕

Slight Air and Purging Fire is so precious to me. The Eddie whump is absolutely fabulous if I do say so myself lol, even though he does end up with broken ribs in a similar manner to my Distress Call fic. (Oops. Tbh I didn't even realize that until I'd posted that fic 😅). But oh well! There's burns, the broken ribs, a fistfight... Poor guy really goes Through It™. Here's a little snippet for you:

The back door opened, but Eddie kept his eyes on his assailant. "Eds? You get lost?" Oh no. Eddie looked up to tell Buck to go back inside. The man swung with all his might, landing a blow to Eddie's ribs. The force knocked him to the side and into the cold brick. The man swung at his ribs again. Eddie knew he heard a crack. He gasped for breath and clutched at his side. "Buck," he wheezed out. "Evan... Go!" "Eds? What's going on?" Buck rounded the partition and froze.

I talked about I feel like I might sink and drown and die here, but I have a snippet now! (Tagging @loveyouanyway I really wanted to share a snippet in your ask darling, so Ta Da!)

“About what I said,” Buck begins, “in the car…” “You don’t have to-” “Don’t give me the out,” Buck almost pleads. “I… I don’t want to keep hiding it from you.” Eddie ducks his head. “Buck-” “Eddie, the only way I don’t tell you is if you tell me there’s no way you feel the same,” Buck persisted. Eddie stays silent. “I have been… a complete idiot when it comes to you. From the moment I met you, Eddie,” Buck says. “You were so laid back, and confident, and- and competent and I just felt all these things about you that I didn’t understand.” Buck shifts a little closer to him. “Most of it was just jealousy, if I’m honest.” “I kinda figured that one out,” Eddie teases. “You know, my ankle still bothers me.” Buck ducks his head with a bashful smile, feeling his face heat. “I’m never gonna hear the end of that one, am I?” “Never,” Eddie beams.

Ooh, When You Bite Your Lip was giving me trouble for a while, but I fixed it! I changed it to Eddie's pov instead of Buck's like in part 1. I'm hoping it won't stay on the back burner, I really want to finish it, but the dozens of other ideas usually get in the way. Have a small snippet:

He barely has the door open before he hooks an elbow around Eddie's neck, hauling him into a searing kiss as he walks them inside. He easily spins them, pushing Eddie against the door as he licks deep into his mouth. Eddie slips his hands beneath Buck’s shirt again, desperate to see and touch and taste more. Buck is addictive, a drug that produces a high Eddie's never experienced before. He doesn't know what the come down will feel like. He doesn't care. “Off,” he mutters against Buck's lips, curling his fingers in the hem of his shirt. Buck smirks and kisses across his face to his ear. “Someone's impatient,” he says smugly before sucking a mark behind Eddie's ear. “Says the guy who- ah- oh fuck.” Eddie can't even finish his snarky reply because Buck slots a knee between his legs, gripping his ass to guide the uncoordinated rock of his hips. Buck is hard again, the heat of him pressing against Eddie's hip. “I think I broke you,” Buck chuckles. “Not yet,” Eddie manages to say, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down to meet his lips.

Ask about my wips! 🩷

[ovaryacted]

nic. you know what i’m here for…tell us about sugar on the rim 🫵🏻

THIS GIF IS SO FUNNY I'M GIGGLING LMAOOO. Of course twin, I know what you want to know, and I'll tell you a little bit. Not too much though, can't have you getting spoiled when this is partially for you and partially for me (because we both want some old man cock). Tagging some other people who wanted to know about this title: @almostfoxglove @saradika.

FIC IDEA: This is an Old Man! Logan Howlett x f! reader fic, probably a one-shot with the potential to branch off into more if I'm in the mood for it. It's literally just DDLG with the old man, real nasty and sloppy that's all. Literally, getting fucked stupid by old man cock, AND THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY!

Now, as for the title, I thought of it on a whim. I based the title on a very specific picture (that I won't share because it's in the visual header for the fic and I'm gatekeeping until I post it), that shows an older guy holding a cup of whiskey and it felt perfect of old man Logan. However, I didn't really know how to define the relationship with just that picture alone, and I started to think about drinks since Logan drinks. I thought of margaritas, and how they had a salt or sugar rim on the cup, and I felt a lightbulb go off in my head.

Old man Logan is very rough around the edges, needs something to take the edge off and copes by drinking the pain away. The reader, his precious plaything, his slutty doll, is what helps him take the edge off, helps him enjoy his drink on a late night to the fullest. Though Logan drinks mostly hard liquor, metaphorically speaking, the reader in this scenario is the sugar on the rim of his cup of whiskey. She adds meaning to his life and gives him purpose, a bit of sweetness to curb the bitterness, and that's exactly how I'd describe their relationship.

I did originally type out Sugar Rim as the title but I hated the way it sounded grammatically so it’s finalized to Sugar On The Rim. This title is also somewhat of a placeholder, but now that I've explained it more I like it and I think I'm gonna be keeping it.

FIC TITLES ASK GAME!

[silver9mm]

🔦💭📚👑 for the fanfic writer questions, please?

<333333 thanks!!

💭 What inspires you and your writing? I WANT THEM TO KISS can't front, that's inspo #1. after that I get super into unpacking all my trauma and making whomever I'm writing about wear it like a fancy new frock :) :) :) I have also been incredibly inspired just by wanting to read a certain kind of story and having to make it myself.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend? My bookmarks on AO3 are my rec list. I don't put just any ol' fic in there, it's full of things that floored me or are (to me) incredibly unique or an awesome rarepair, hotter than the sun, devastating or whatever. I'm gonna shout out my darling one @ohwhoopsok. There is literally NOTHING that she writes that I wouldn't read, no matter the fandom or content. She's incredible, talented, nuanced, creative, daring and dirty, and every single fandom she touches is blessed to have her <3

👑 Do you like writing short fics or long fics? Oh, long fics by far (apparently). I can't constrain myself for one thing, and I write a lot more words than are necessary to get to the point, I acknowledge that, but language is so much fun and I love my purple prose and besides, like I said, I write what I want to read and I like long stories---my favourite book is Imajica XD

🧪 Do you research for your fics? I DO SO MUCH. I'm one of those "what will the FEDs think" kind of writers. I still have all my links from writing KTL like the erowid vault and "exhibitionist disorder", and a folder just called "dicks" for some reason and the layout of Bobby's house and SPN transcripts and most importantly @tipsysam's blog for her precious tagging system (miss her). Yeah, I'm the type to look up the moon phases or wind direction in 1988 for one throw-away line XD

thanks for playing <3 <3 <3

fanfic ask game

[crystalflygeo]

Long overdue final ebg post (lmao) bc I need to get this out of my system...

Tag for all the posts/storyline

Art by the amazing lovely precious cutie Aine @/ainescribe

First of all I want to thank @i23kazu immensely for allowing me to participate pls I was SO unsure at first haha and she absolutely killed it with the interactions, the lil side project, the prompts, the scores tally... it's just so much work, kudos to you Ying fr!! It was a super fun game.

Shoutout to my besties/mutuals

@silentmoths @ainescribe thank you for your lil asks I love seeing your characters aaaaaaaa 💕

@floraldresvi @moraxsthrone and all the anons I got, your sabotages here and in discord were brutal omg Vi you almost made my cry //pos bc I wanted to react/respond to Li's messages 🥺 EVERY SINGLE TIME ghgnhgnghgn and NOT KEL MAKING MY GIRL HAVE A WET DREAM/SPICY MEMORY TYVM 💕 the way I had to contain myself hELP I loved it svcgavscgvsjgacbkackl

@meimeimeirin you also sabotaged me a lot, meanie //pos I loved SO MUCH your asks/little stories aaaaaa thank you for engaging so much when I know you're super busy 🥺 it def made my day everytime, ty for bringing the girl home and solving my silly lil mystery hehe 💕

@kurikurikurisu GIIIIIRL it's so funny to me that we kinda started interacting more on the last ebg for Rin and then I was like "she's a cool person I wanna fren.... 👉🏻👈🏻 but I shy...." took my sweet time to invite you to the server and turns out THIS ebg got us closer (I think? ehe?//hit) we didn't interact much in tumblr with each other's plots but bOY were we emotional support in discord, we really were in this suffering together 🤝🏻 mhm //nods nods 🤣 thank you so much for being interested in my lil silly plot and my girl aaaaaa

As for the "plot" and other things... (this got so long I am so sorryy;;;)

Well at first I wanted to do kinda a normal ebg, no plot or anything bc I don't think I have the smarts to do an elaborate game/story lmao and I kinda wanted to have more established s/i lore?? And then I realized hey I can use the ebg to introduce my s/i!!!

See I'd been working SO hard on her names lately, researching and studying in-game adepti lore and stuff and I though why don't I make it a simple game where the goal is to guess her name (with me giving hints ofc) and at the very start I had the idea of her losing her memories so she could re-discover/remember things about herself alongside the "players" learning them. Whoever character I got as my bias would help her and get to know her too along the way, even npcs (or in the rare case of me getting Dottore/Pantalone, probs be the villain for her memory loss lmao)

And then I got Kazuha. And it was so SO perfect. I took inspiration from Spirited Away with the plot point of having your name/memories/identity stolen and for some reason I remembered the whole Ino-shika-cho koi-koi card combo from Summer Wars I just had this vivid mental image of a scene where Kazuha dropped the biggest hint by writing the Kanji for Butterfly (Chō) which doubles ofc as the Hanzi for Butterfly/Crystalfly (Dié) written the same pronounced (and romanized) differently :3c

I was very proud of myself//hit also

I did not end up making haiku bc they are complicated but I at least tried to loosely keep/emulate the 3 phrases, phonetic rhyme and sensory elements while referencing my lil plot lmao

✧˖Originally I was gonna blame it on a playful tanuki or smth but I don't think they're powerful enough youkai lmao it was probably a kitsune.... we may never know ✧˖She was technically never in any danger yeah but imagine being lost with no memories and no way to know if you could get them back even because every person she met kept telling her they didn't know ofc she'd break down, or at least me, I'm very crybaby and neurotic sometimes//HIT ✧˖Yes this entire thing was technically Zhongli's fault since he did write her a letter addressed 亲爱的晶蝶 ("My dear Crystalfly/Jingdie") and that IS her name woops on a random note I kinda imagine he also signs with something like 你的龙 "Your Dragon" and vice versa with Crys ("My dear Dragon/your Crystalfly") sgcvgajsvcjhacbajkca //squeals kicks feets

And all this started because I was stressing over the fact that "Crys" is not an appropriate name for a Liyue character lmao, I debated for so long giving her a chinese name, but I didn't want to further make her an OC I wanted her to represent me/my blog (also part of me was and still is immensely worried I somehow insult cn ppl by being as some sort of weeabo equivalent or that I am "appropriating culture" or idk I may be dumb but I try to do my research and I prommy it does not come from a place of malice or anything I genuinely love genshin and Li and it's got me interested in a culture/country I funnily enough have somehow interacted with and have friends in but never really paid that much attention to ig...) and then I just had the epiphany What if I just reverse engineer and name her Crystalfly in cn? Lore would be that either her name got accidentally translated in documents a long long time ago and ppl started calling ehr Crystalfly/Crys and she rolled with it or she simply adopted the translation/nickname as her name for international settings, keeping her true name more private (hidden in plain sight tbh) p sure the only ones who know are the elder adepti (Ganyu/Xiao included) and Neuvillette (once he told her his real/first name) (ironically Crys may be harder to pronounce i other languages lmaoooo rip Fontaine)

Anyway this got way too long lmao sorrryyyyyyyy thank you everyone kith kith love y'all bye!! 💕

[edutainer2022]

@thedryswan Thank you for the headcanons tag!

I'm gonna cheat a little and repurpose the big Scott headcanon post I put together a while ago. But these are quite hard h/c I swear by and revisit in my stories.

CW: we're talking about Scott, so there are LOTS of heavy themes and topics mentioned, angst and death. My mind goes dark places with him. Tread with caution.

✅ A canon or headcanon hill I will die on.

I'll do several, because I can.

Scott has a suicidal ideation/death wish. As in, he genuinely thinks he needs to die in sacrifice- the way Dad did. He doesn't actively seek it, but has sort of internalized that as an inevitable fate, because that's the least he can do against the magnitude of Dad's sacrifice.

He blames himself for Dad's death (canon text).

Excelled in academia. A prom king, President of the class, sports team captain and a valedictorian both in high school and college.

Scott is 29-ish (under 30) by the end of Season 3. I WILL die on that hill. Symbolically, that means Dad's disappearance spearheaded him into "legal, albeit too young" adulthood, and Dad's recovery ("saving father from the abyss") heralded transition into "full manhood".

Scott will loose a son some time down the line - IR equipment gone wrong, a rescue,  combat etc. (narrative symmetry is a ruthless thing). Sorry. I mulled it over every which way. A lost significant other is a gestalt already closed by Dad Tracy. And in a timeline that is not an incandescent wish-fulfillment HEA, it would unfortunately fall to Scott to experience what his father happily dodged - a son so adamant to follow in his Hero's footsteps, and a father so encouraging and approving of that - he'll pay the ultimate price.

Scott is not close to Grandma (mainly because Scott was close to Mom, aka the woman who took over as #1 in Jeff's life, later Scott is a living, breathing reminder that Jeff is gone, and is a mirror and foil to Jeff's shortcomings).

Scott can play the piano (Mom totally taught him first, having big hopes for those long, long fingers), but he never applied himself to practice the skill, like Virgil did. They can play duet on a very rare, precious occasion, when the mood is right.

Scott is more than a decent dancer - cowboy line and square dancing, but also waltz and tango. It was a Mom thing, originally, the prep for a middle school Formal or something. He later practiced with John, who was too shy to take dance classes. While we are at it - my hard headcanon is that, for all that he's Dad's replica and seeks Dad's approval like air, Scott was close to Mom, her White Knight, and takes after her a lot in mannerisms and character (it's maybe more obvious to the adults in their lives, as the boys' memories of Mom are hazy with every passing year).

✅ Dumbest thing they’ve ever done.

Got engaged or eloped, even, back in Flight School, to a fellow cadet. His trusted second in an air group and a wingman. Of course they usually got suggestions to "get a room" after flight exercises. At some point they did. Both stupidly young, of course. Scott asked Dad for Mom's engagement ring and withstood Dad's stern questioning stare with a defiant stance that "when you know - you know". Dad had little to object to that, but had his reservations. For one, it was against regulations - Scott was CAG (captain of air group), ergo, within direct chain of command. For two - Jeff already had plans of the Tracy Island and IR well underway. Scott was completely game and ready to join Dad, he believed in IR and Dad's dreams since day 1, since TV-21. Of course, in his idealistic mind the Love of His Life was to join them - an exceptional pilot she'd be a great asset to IR team, they worked seamlessly together. It'd be great! Bereznik recon was to be among Scott's last assignments. Only the fiancée didn't exactly subscribe to idyllic dreams of "getting kittens off trees under Daddy's watchful eye" - she thought they were to share a life of service, career soldiers and fighters, test pilots, command material. She thought Scott was betraying that shared dream in favor of indulging Dad yanking his leash. Mom's ring was returned. The breakup was so earthshattering that it may or may not have made Scott loose focus for a second, while flying over hostile territory. It only took a second... The brothers never knew of that whole relationship and situation, only Dad. And maybe Kyrano. I have a whole fic idea about the ring being first taken off Scott, together with dogtags, in interrogation, then retrieved.

✅ Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves.

These are things and thoughts Scott hates himself for territory - so, certainly, they would come across as jarring (and vastly untrue) to anyone, who actually knows Scott. I'll do several, because why limit ourselves in ways Scotty's mind would torment him.

Scott has taken a life or lives. Not just by proxy, as in people they couldn't save (Dad being first in line in his mind). And not just in combat/self defense. I think Scott has eased someone's suffering at some point and provided assisted suicide (a fellow POW in Bereznik, a rescuee). It's a whole different pit of hell that haunts him. I'd say Scott also has a DNR and maybe, that one time after a dark day and one too many helpings of scotch he asked either Virgil or John to do the same for him - to mercy kill. Virgil is horrified (Scott's DNR gets ignored on multiple occasions not for nothing), but John promises he'd do it. They all pretend that conversation never happened later.

On very, very bad days that happen more often after SOS, Scott kinda wishes they never found Dad's signal. Dad's signal means not only did he fail to save him, but he failed to search hard enough afterwards and settled into just living on. Scott is also not fooling himself- Dad's signal may mean there's no Dad alive anymore on the other side after eight years in outer space - which means loosing Dad all over again and watching the brothers and Grandma loose Dad all over again. Unthinkable. Unbearable. His fault.

Dad's return is not all unicorns and soothing rainbows. Well, it is - for everyone else. His brothers got Dad back, Grandma got her son back, Lee, Casey, Lord Hugh, Brains and Kyrano got their friend back, Tracy Industries got their CEO back, IR got the Commander back, the world got Jeff Tracy back. Which is all to exemplify how much Scott has been a placeholder in everyone's eyes. The brothers and Kayo can talk Dad's ear off a mile a minute about their pursuits and accomplishments, but Scott hasn't got much to show for it. He's only ever been doing... this "being Jeff Tracy" thing for the past eight years, trying to keep his head above water. He missed Dad to the point of wanting to die - but Dad is not back, advising him how to run the show and being there for him, he's back to pick up where he left off.  Alan and Kayo are even trained enough to fly One now. Why would anyone need Scott anymore? (This DOES NOT lead to any good places or conclusions. Scott's undercurrent fear is to see disappointment and disapproval in Dad's eyes, once the euphoria settles down  and he starts to delve into reports how Scott handled things).

Berezniki guards drilled into him that by the time they're done - noone would want what's left of Scott, broken and damaged beyond repair, and Scott is unsure he still doesn't believe them.

Scott doesn't actively want kids of his own. He loves his brothers beyond anything and Alan is his son in all ways that count. But he can't in good conscience pursue to bring a life into the world and then let it suffer the loss, like he did - Scott doesn't  exactly envision a happily ever after timeframe for himself, where he gets to grow old and be there for the kid(s). Nor does he envision a timeframe where he's loved and seen by someone to want to eventually stick around and raise a family. (Let's not forget these are dark, secret assumptions, and Scott is, obviously, way off the mark in them).