#I'm gonna have to do the rest tomorrow
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Her favourite colour is yello w
#how do I explain the existence of Cyn to my friend she doesn't understand what she's for no matter how many times I say it please help#if you (the friend) are reading this. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I AM CALLING YOU OUT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION!!! >:[#I'm gonna start rewatching season 9 of FOP tomorrow! WOWIE! Can't wait to finish the show and then move on to... *breathes heavily*#... fairly odder... And after that I get to rewatch a new wish! AGAIN! :D Yaaayyy!!!#sowwy if she looks kinda stupid I have to pay attention in class ya know economics wow I sure do love taxes (liar...)#cyn md#cyn#absolute solver#tagging her is a lil problematic to me... I'll just leave it to anyone who reblogs!!! m'kay!!!#murder drones#murder drones fanart#sometimes I wonder if I should give her a nose but I really like the smooth “snout” it's funny and *sigh* I just... don't know...#funfact when episode 7 released I drew her with the worst hair imaginable but what if some weird solver magic makes it kept in well#condition that would be funny make the rest lowkey rot and her hair is just silky soft#okie that's enough byeeeeeee
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hello it is i, your local tumblrarian, here to drink tea from her pumpkin mug and tell u the following important announcement: being on tumblr every single day is possibly not a great idea. let's use a metaphor here. it's like squeezing a lemon every day, but it's only got so much juice, you'll only end up getting frustrated and upset that the juice is no longer flowing. and then it's building up this habit of squeezing lemons every day, but then one day you're not around and you're worried, because what if the lemon had juice today? what if we missed the juicing opportunity?
but now let's sprinkle in the following notion: every once in a while, we step outside of the lemon juicer, and we go to the market to buy more lemons. the next day, we wake up, we go back to the juicer, and what do you know! the juice is flowing again!
gonna step back from the metaphor here to just explain a few things. we have all been in the situation of staring wretchedly at the computer screen, begging for a drop of inspiration. most of us are online each and every day. and that's okay! i'm the same! but maybe we need to refresh the cycle here, because i took a day to myself today, i consciously refused to go online until 6PM, and even that 24 hour break was enough to get some very exciting ideas going! and tomorrow i'll be writing more than i have in weeks!
we put too much pressure on ourselves to be here 24/7, and it's time that we just knocked that out and started treating writing as what it always was: a hobby. so go take a break. go out for a walk, go get lunch in a nice cafe, step away from the computer and just let yourself do something that isn't absorbed in writing or in your education/career.
#ooc.#( listen to me my metaphors are strange but i know i'm right abt this )#( i went and had sushi on my own today and i just didn't worry about drafts or my inbox )#( bc i've been having migraines from stress lately and i just figured )#( i just want to feel rested. and i do! and i got a kickass new coat as well! )#( and tomorrow i'm gonna go get nice food and make a cozy spot for myself and do some writing !! )#psa
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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#tko_art#hahah wrong eye shape#hers is more droopy and less awakey#wow colors suck#really hard#but i've noticed it doesn't feel like my brain is going to explode everytime I try to determine color and values#i kind of got too tired and wanted to giv eup so no tear drop#which made me sad because i did want to try that#but back hurts#gotta go to bed to fight god tomorrow/today#i love rendering skin tones#they're so much fun#lovely love#I have accidentally locked in#suddenly every single moment of time that i'm not spending to do art is unappealing and so damaging#i'm psyching myself out of doing things I know will give me instant gratification and will make me pretty happy for whattttttttt#it's kinda depressing#If i think about it too hard it's just a constant cycle of oh god this is it for the rest of my life#so no thinking it is!#blegh this seems so silly and trivial#i hope nobody reads this shit#i'd have to kill myself or something#im never gonna stop thinking about how i didnt say i loved you back#and it haunts me#and i cant stop thinking about what u said to me#and even tho u didnt say it harshly i cant stop my mind from running away from me#and theres something horribly wrong with me that i need to gouge out#i hope u never read this#i didnt want to be (x) how fucked up is that#i wish i wasnt like this i wish i didnt have to learn how to live with trauma i wish i was normal
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i was feeling a bit bleak earlier but then i went outside just for a change of scenery and saw the three frogs and hung out with my dad for a bit while he chopped wood and then played imagination with my friend via the internet and then a different friend said they'd come and visit from their country and now it's like WOW!!!! the cup overflows!!!!! :')
#moral of my story you (i) gotta continue to engage!!!!!!#i'm so glad for my friends :') <3#ALSO we planned my garden centre trip its THURSDAY >:3#i'm gonna rest soooo sensible style tomorrow and have a nice day doing as many of my thursday chores as i can (they're v minimal and#also sitting down ones quite a bit) and hopefully i'll feel better then (:#i mean we're going regardless but it'd just be nice to feel less bad u know!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!
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Somewhere in here I gotta fit a speech bubble BUT. Sillies...
#I KNOW I SHOULDN'T SPOIL THIS ONE. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T. BUT AT THE SAME TIME.#i feel like it WILL hit different w the context/dialogue. so. i'm not spoiling anything at all actually.#i'll probably have to move around the sparkle effects anyway. but. it's so funny to me. the way it is rn#I'M MAKING PROGRESS!!!!!!!!! almosd ALL THREE PAGES have basic pencil work done now!!!!!!#LIKE. THAT'S SO CLOSE TO BEING INKED. WHICH IS SO CLOSE TO BEING COLORED. WHICH IS SO CLOSE. SO CLOSE ......#i'm. really not all that close i shouldn't set myself up for unrealistic expectations LMFAOOOOO#BUT... BUT...... I'M MAKING PROGRESS.............#i am gonna be a little busy though! so. unfortunately won't be able to keep chipping at it lmfao#but maybe that'll help too. i do almost feel i was stuck in a rut about it.#ALSO. CRAZIEST THING. WAS DRAWING ALFONSE'S HAIR LIKE. CONSISTENTLY. FROM PANEL TO PANEL.#like yes i draw him all the fucking time. but i am developing A Method for it. after like. don't make me count the years again .#i gotta rest up though i got an early day tomorrow! helping out the neighbor 🫡🫡🫡 yard sard....#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#wip#my art
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I am officially snowed in.
#ladylynse#lynse complains about the weather#I mean we need the snow#I know we need the snow#but there's so much snow#everything I had on today was cancelled thankfully#and we were told to come into work for noon tomorrow#so I have a bit of time in the morning to figure it out#if someone else can make it in to do the one thing that really really needs to be done the rest of us will wait till the next day#and just kinda hope this doesn't screw us completely#but if no one else can make it in I'm gonna have to walk#which ordinarily takes about an hour but#not with two feet of snow#ugh it's gonna be cold tomorrow too
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I had a bunch of things that I needed to do that - one I'd been putting off for literally months. I did them all in less than an hour.
#I'm so bananas sometimes#it's the menty illinois#now I have the rest of the afternoon off#and I'm gonna go to a museum and then do grocery shopping so I can have traditional US meal tomorrow (hot dog)
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If you're not having any kind of joint pain today, take a second to thank your body..... And do some stretching RIGHT NOW.
#my right hip has been in so much pain for about three weeks now. i was determined to not let it slow me down on vacation but now that im#home and have less distractions it is KILLING ME!!!!#im gonna talk to my physical therapist about it tomorrow and probably make a doctors appointment unless she can figure out whats up with it.#ive tried EVERYTHING too. I'm doing all the different hip stretches every day. ibuprofen like candy. alternating heat and ice. resting it as#much as possible while still getting light exercise. nothing is really helping.#i have a hunch its something to do with going from out of shape to loving running on the treadmill in a month and a half.....#sudden high joint impact exercise for several hours a week after being inactive for a while you know? maybe i overdid it#but im worrying its something else like arthritis or iliopsoas issues or something because i havent stepped onto a treadmill in like two#weeks now and its not really getting better. so i think something is up.#side note: common advice for joint pain is to elevate the joint above the heart and rest like that..... how the fuck am i supposed to#elevate my hips above my heart???? i cant find a good explanation of how to do that#without bwing upside down i guess lol
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I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.
First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)
Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)
I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)
#this counts as a pride post because I am very gay for her#her uneven shoulders and stray eyebrow hair (like some d.bz characters <3) have captivated me#anyways sorry for being so wordy in the post... I will be wordier in the tags! sorry. feel free to skip these I'm just gonna ramble#while drawing these I realised I was accidentally doing a shitty a.b.a cosplay: eyebags. hairband. stitches and what Ishiwatari would call#morbid pallor LMAO. I admit I put on the hairband because of her <3 but the rest was unintentional. I hadn't worn one in yrs cause I don't#*didn't like how my hair looks w it plus felt kinda rigid but.. my current hair w a hairband is growing on me? prob not gonna wear it outsid#but thank u a.b.a for making me retry it <3. also the head feeling is kinda cool. though mine is of a hard material n I'm p sur hers is soft#anyways. I have one of this year's most important assignments/appointments tomorrow. wish me luck#after that I'll still have to go do productive adulting but I'll be able to sleep better n have energies n time to draw stuff n gaming#til that happens stuff is super hectic in all senses so drawing this goober is my escape valve. uh dunno what else. I'm tired#also oh I wanna take a moment to say thsnk u to all the people that like my art of her (and art in general but 95% art I upload her is her#LMAO) I don't wanna get parasocial but I do recognise your usernames and how u keep up with my kilometric tags. you make my day sometimes.#also huh my art (style?) got different lately. Idk how I feel. but drawing dif stuff is cool#wtf did I catch up the habit of drawing each hairstrand. my hand dislikes it. IMAGINE IF I DREW MILL.IA INSTEAD AAAAA#a.b.a#art tag2b named#edit for better term: thank youuu. may the homunculus obsession unite us all <3
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eon SUCKS bc I feel like I can't write analysis posts about him without detouring thru a small explanation of a small segment of his ridiculous mental gymnastics course which just throws off the whole thing bc like. What do you mean you think like this you geezer😩
#...not having a significant part of his childhood out there also makes things harder#Alsooo fyi irt the ask game..#I think I'm gonna post the rest of the pics I do in a single photo set probably sometime tomorrow ^.^
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haha! my depression keeps getting worse
#delete later#vent#the thought of going to work tomorrow is daunting but i've already left early on a sunday once.#IT'S WHATEVER it's whateverr i'll be fine i'm just deeply unhappy as a person#deeply unsatisfied with myself. and no medication seems to get rid of the pain#what the fuck am i even doing with my life. am i gonna work this job for the rest of my days.#i sure fucking hope not because even working part-time is a lot for me. why am i like this. why can't i be normal.#people have gone through eorse than me and still succeeded why am i struggling.#WHATEVERRR whatever i'll just get high or something#i won't actually because i have work tomorrow but it's very tempting
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good morning!! <33
#wah i'm trying to like plan out when I'm gonna do the rest of the archon quest#bc i wanna get it done in one sitting for reasons#like today would be a good day but i might have to switch when i play hsr and genshin to make it work#like it'd be better suited for after lunch - over the afternoon#instead of now until lunch#anyways i also need to get tomorrow's prompt written :3#like i managed to finish today's like late last night so that's good#anyways i hope today/tonight are kind to you <333#morning rambles
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operation "how much estrogen leeway do we have" has commenced and it's only been 2 days but i'm so frustrated my muscles are still acting like they've been through a marathon
#the past month has been trash and i've spent sooo many work days at home already this year#operation estrogen might fail which would leave us in an interesting place bc idk what the fuck he's gonna try next#except for a more radical surgery#which like. i'm down but endo seems to never get properly treated on surgery alone#though i guess mine might be if they surgically remove everything necessary to get rid of my periods#i'm just like#so frustrated by the way this takes time#and my endo is still like. comparatively not bad. and i've not struggled with it that long#relatively speaking#hiding from work helps a tad until i then have to return to work after an absence#i feel guilty about not being at work but i also just really want to have arms that don't feel like lead#i want to have energy for one after work activity once in a while#and like. my doctor is determined to get me there#they all keep telling me that it is important that i'm good and not just surviving#i'm just really tired#and i have to speak to the counselor tomorrow which#is good and mature but i truly don't fucking want to#i have fridays off to 'get more rest' but like#i do one thing on the weekend and it knocks me the fuck out#traitorous goddamn body#we shall see what the counselor says before i message my endo doctor agAIn but i don't think i'm any more capable of working full weeks#now than i was 4 weeks ago#i haven't worked a full week in the 6 weeks since school came back#rip to me#😔#some day my whiny text posts will be but a memory#i say as if i have any faith
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Life. man.
#I don't want to go back to college tomorrow. i don't even think i hate the school it's.#i think i hate what im studying. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of media and radio work. So so so sick.#i'm sick of journalism. i'm sick of hearing the word 'storytelling' or 'storytellers' in sick of dealing with media students.#some of the most vain assholes i've ever met. and i'm sick of watching my best friend become one. (an asshole).#I want to do something else but this is what i did in high school this is what im good at. but i don't know if i can do this for the rest o#my life. but im too dumb to do anything else. I want to try compsci. i want to learn coding. but i have no background experience.#i could be an IT guy. i want to learn how to build computers and stuff. but i'm not smart enough.#i screwed myself over in high school by taking media. why did i do that??#i should've taken compsci. or law. or SOMETHING.#i liked what i'm doing but now im just so fucking sick of it#if i hear someone say 'radio professionals are storytellers' one more time im gonna bash my head into a wall#of course talking to my dad is no help. i don't even know why i bother anymore.#raven croaks
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saturday quest is catsitting in the most slug mode way possible 👍
#it is an activity i find challenging in many ways. mainly due to needing to wear a mask so it's hard to hang out for long periods#due to i need to eat and drink! :P also their mealtimes are the same as mine? so that's tricky!#bc that means i gotta eat late as i have to cook all the meals for me so!#anyway it's totally doable and i love to hang out with the baby cats who are sweet and wonderful and lovely <3#it's mainly just my anxiety and insecurity that i'm not doing the best for them. but i AM doing the best of my ability. so!#also. i'm allergic to cats :P not too badly luckily but it does make me wary again of hanging out for too long and without a mask!#SECOND ANYWAY! i'm looking forward to hanging out with the beasts again tomorrow and it's gonna be sunny in the morning (:#it's a complicated kind of mix of rest and activity bc i need to actively watch them somewhat but also that mainly consists of#looking. which is not a big activity. but i don't want to do something ELSE at the same time because i need to be alert!!!#THIRD ANYWAY! it's normal guy hours 👍#i think this is whats tripping me up bc i simultaneously feel like i need to find something to do and also like i can't do that.#whadda hell am i gonna do with my day. think about cats whether in their presence or not apparently hahahaha :P i'm no thoughts#head empty atm which has meant i'm having trouble figuring anything out or remembering what i like to do or my hobbies :P#FOURTH ANYWAY! it's tome to LOG OFF! AND CHILL! :P
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