#I'm gonna give myself an ulcer

[notasapleasure]

Step 1: wonder why the fuck the person who allegedly wants to buy your house isn't in a hurry to get the paperwork sorted

Step 2: wonder why the fuck the lender you're trying to buy a repo house off isn't in a hurry to get the paperwork sorted

Step 3: consider whether you can speed up one process or the other and remind yourself, yet again, that you can't!

Step 4: contemplate, with horror, what might happen if the lender DOES get back to you about your dream house before you have made any progress on selling your old house.

Step 5: drink too much coffee and search miserably to the verb in a 14-line sentence that seems to consist entirely of adjectives. You're tired and broke and you'll be tired and broken even if you get this work done.

Step 6: try not to think too hard about how you're living with your parents again in your mid-thirties and how it's all just so you can be down the road when mortality strikes. It's nice not having to do your own laundry, after all.

Step 7: wonder why you feel like bursting into tears whenever Midge Maisel does as you rewatch season 1. Remember when you first watched it? Just before you moved to the only place you managed to live in for longer than eighteen months since your childhood home. Wouldn't it be nice if you could buy the house you want and stay there for a little while? Oh no - don't start making plans! You can't make plans. No counting chickens before they've hatched.

Step 8: stare at the unread message notifications from six different direct messaging apps and wonder what on earth you have to say to anyone. There's no news!!! There's never any news!!! You're just here, going slowly mad while you wait.

Step 9: sleep TERRIBLY. Why was that? You normally have no trouble sleeping!

Step 10: good morning, let's do all that again shall we? Haha great.

Look at this little dude though! That's nice, isn't it?

[americanhellkmart]

psych zoom call in 15 min i'm actually tweakingg .. this is extra stupid cuz i know 1 minute after the meeting i'm gonna be like Well there was no reason for all that other than to give myself a stomach ulcer as a bit

[powderblueblood]

Dear Powder, may I please request

"Look, I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. You want to share a cab?"

With my girl Robin please? 🖤

200 CIGARETTES SENTENCE PROMPTS!

"it's ten pm!"

robin stares at you like that means anything, literally anything, the both of you letting the cold seep through you on this frozen city street. lights dapple the slowly thawing sidewalks. snow bunches up around stationary cars like mounds of forgotten icing. the light dapples her face too, peeking out from behind her woolen behemoth of a scarf-- multicolored reflections from tacky christmas bulbs still hanging all around make her sparkly eyeshadow even sparklier, like a pre-show for the new year's fireworks.

she looks pretty. prettier than you remember her from freshman orientation, and you remembered her.

you scoff. "you can't kill yourself at ten pm on new year's eve, it's like-- it's like you didn't even try."

"i tried!" robin protests, hands gesturing wildly towards the bar you've just followed her out of. "i tried, and i got stood up, so i failed, okay?"

"and you wanna go into the new year in a new city with that bullshit attitude?" your arm goes up and you're hailing a cab. she's just kind of bobbing her mouth at you, but you know that you both need to find another bar-- and fast. "fine. but the way i see it, you got two more hours of spectacular striking out left in you, buckley. better make 'em count."

the yellow cab screeches to the curb and you hold the door open for her.

"wait a second, are you offering to wingman for me?"

you shrug. "why not? i got dumped tonight, remember? i need somewhere to channel all this affection or it'll give me an ulcer. i really don't want an ulcer!"

she stares at you a sec, brow pinched like why would you do this for me? you don't even know me!

"and look!" you extend a hand, "if we totally fail, you can at least kiss me at midnight before you go home and stick your head in the oven. deal?"

robin swallows, takes your gloved hand in hers. "my dorm only has a toaster oven."

you giggle. reluctant to let go of her hand. "then we better get to work."

[polarisbibliotheque]

Updating by writing you guys this huge post. I mean it, it's really long xD

Heeey-ho!

I know, I know, I couldn't keep my Halloween promise T-T

Tha Halloween gods are now shouting at me "HOW COULD YOU?!"

Die Halloween gods, slowly coming after me - black and white edition

As it has happened before, I'll be posting both Dante and Vergil's part during november. I'm still working on them, so it might take a while. Do apologise.

They will be here, just with a little delay. I do think Halloween should last more than just a few days, so screw it, until Christmas, it's still legal to celebrate Halloween at the Bibliothéque \o/

Now, now, for those who don't like too much talking, I'll be explaining a little bit below why I'm taking so long. Feel free to skip it if you don't want to read it, no worries ;)

(There's a "conclusion and TL;DR for those who don't want to read this whole novel" in pink down there if you want to scroll down to that point!)

As *not* expected, my health took a crazy downturn. I know I say it all the time, but hell, I've no idea what gives this time. I literally stopped everything. I spend most of the day in pain and the rest of it sleeping. That's it.

I have an appointment with my doctor next week, but I'm not too much hopeful. Last exams showed I have two ulcers - which means scarring and bleeding in the stomach - that can be literally anything.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty worried it can be something worse than I was expecting, although it never even appeared to exist before, but well... My anxiety isn't exactly logic.

Secondly, as you guys might not know, I'm graduated in Law, worked as a lawyer for 5+ years before having a burnout and all those health issues (yeah, yeah, don't do what I've done, all that sort of thing). But something you don't know, and honestly probably only my close family knows and cares about, is that my graduation thesis was "The Conflict of Israel x Palestine and International Law".

I researched it for 3 years before defending my thesis, got a college prize for it, the professor who mentored me made a huge speech on how I proved "we women can do it on academia and research" and that my work was really nice. I'm not saying all this 'cause I'm boasting, I'm just saying I know what I'm talking about (because you know, who has never met a man who thinks their opinion is better than yours "just because" while you have a fucking huge CV on research and graduated with honors on the same matter but, somehow, you can't beat the opinion he just pulls out of his ass?).

All of this to say, I'm devastated by what's going on. This is more than politics to me. This was my thing, you know? I had a dream, stupid ~promising young woman~ dream of doing something with my intelligence to actually help people. To actually stop massacres of happening. I wanted to work at the UN, I wanted to speak with world leaders, to show people how much I can research and how much basic human rights matter so horrid things cannot happen ever again.

When the war broke and the bombings started, I followed the news. And then the news weren't reliable anymore. I started digging to find the truth - and hells, the truth is ugly and bloody. I think that's when all those last shards of dreams came crashing down. I thought I could do something, you know? Actually do something. But in the end, my parents were broke, I had to work to help at home, I kept sending my CV to the UN but I was never enough, and I just wasted my energy and health under the boots of someone who had more power and influence than me to break me and kill my career before it even started.

I felt so horribly powerless. So horribly broken. It seems stupid, but everything that is going on out there fells personal to me, I have history with it. And it broke me. Completely. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't force myself to at least watch the horrible things going on and try to like/share so the algorithm can make it reach other people.

That's all I can do.

You know, I have a lot of Vergil in me. For the things I wrote, I think you all can see I have a thing of "I never want to feel pain again and I want power so no one can never hurt me again" - that's why I think I want to kick his ass every time I see this fucking man being so emotionally constipated and ruthless because of his trauma. It's a way to protect himself, burning every path so he never feels powerless again - and I guess we all HATE to see the parts of our own personalities we hate the most in someone elese

So yeah. I know things took a dark turn on this one, but I decided to be honest with you guys - since I'm owing so many updates: the 2 Halloween fics, Nemesis and Survivor's Blood. I'm not really well currently, and only the gods know how much effort I'm making to keep it together... At least a little bit.

Physically, I'm like V. And I'm not even trying to be funny, every time I see that lil' goth twink I want to yeet him away because, hell, I'm MAD I see myself in him (mind you, I used to be more on Dante's side of the fitness spectre xD) - and not only regarding fitness, but tiredness. Falling apart. It's so... Harrowing. I think that's the word that fits the feeling better.

Mentally, I'm Vergil. I don't want to, I want to beat him with a stick, I want to yell at his face and kick his stupid ass, but damn. I get it. That crippling fear of not wanting to feel powerless again, to have people abuse you? The feeling you're trapped in your own body? The "feelings bring only pain and suffering"? The terrifying dread of discovering you failed at everything even with all your talents and never wanting to admit it? Check all of those. I hate you Vergil, but I get you.

I'm trying, though. I use writing as a coping mechanism and as a way to resolve many things mentally, but the last months have felt SO overwhelming I went back to my paralysed state of not being able to do anything and running away from things that remind me of all THAT.

You guys might be alarmed, but there's no reason to be, though. This is a ~moment~ I'm going through and I just need to sort it all out. I'm starting to get some warning signs of numbness, vivid nightmares of past issues, the paralysis, avoidance - but I've been there before. I just haven't figured out a way to pull myself together and I don't even remember how I did that once, so it might take me some time.

I don't know why, I had some sort of weird ~boost~ while thinking in the shower today, and I might know how to give the small steps to start getting back on track and gaining that momentum I need. This weekend I had to convince my mom to celebrate her birthday 'cause she's my Samwise Gamgee carrying me up Mount Doom and she wasn't in a mood to do so - therefore on monday, I have some things in mind to discuss with her and, hopefully, things will slowly go back to their place.

Conclusion and TL;DR for those who don't want to read this whole novel hahaha

THAT BEING SAID: I'm really sorry I can't deliver everything I wanted to you, guys. I didn't expect life to get so much more fucked up than it already was, but here we are. I just have to get used to the new pace of things, but it might take a while. My output of writing will be slow, but hey, after I can get out of that paralysis phase, I'll probably be writing more and posting more - 'cause I really, really love this. With all my heart.

(also, if you people see me active on my drawing thing, posting a bunch of things, it's 'cause I'm finally getting to look at all the art I've done but never posted and actually updating it and putting my art blog to some use I haven't in a while - I won't be creating new stuff. All old stuff I procrastinated as HELL and those will be some of my small steps to get out of this rut)

Now, as a last thing, I intend to use a video from a guy I always watch on youtube as some sort of guiding light in these trying times hahahaha but seriously, he has some really sound advice and he is so down to earth. Maybe someone who's going through some fucked up times can use his advice as well and unfuck their life too :)

That's it. I felt like I needed some raw honesty today. Like I said, small steps. This is part of it hahahaha

I hope you guys understand. There's nothing I love more than writing, creating something for people - and all of this, everyone I met here and every single person that uses their time, which is the most precious thing we have, to read something I wrote gives me the greatest gift I can be given. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you and how much I don't want to disappoint you.

So thank you. I will work slowly and I will need some time to get my shit together, but I'll always be here. I'll update everything I need and won't leave you hanging but you know... It's like Dracula Daily. It starts in April and finishes by the end of the year, taking time to put the letters together.

Aaaaand, if you read Lord of the Rings, the whole adventure takes a year. We are very much conditioned to be given content constantly to keep algorithms happy, but I do have a view that humans (and art for that matter) can't keep up with being content.

Zygmunt Bauman said we live in liquid times, and made the theory that everything is liquid nowadays (for people who like sociology and philosophy, I highly recommend his books, I love him with all my heart), so we're not really used to things that are a little more... Constant. Earthy, perhaps. Slow, stable, never leaving.

I try my best to be like that, not like a liquid, inconstant, fleeting presence. I want the things I do to be part of something that will stay, and I like being someone that stays - and doesn't just flow away because everything has to be fast and ever moving nowadays. The Bibliothéque is to be like that, I think, a place that no matter what, you can come back after ten months and you'll still find me here, drinking some tea and writing stuff. And I'll be happy to see you again, for as much as you can or would like to stay :)

kinda like Dante in his lil' shop :')

That's it. Thank you for reading me mumbling nonsensically in order to tell you I will keep updating my fanfiction, even if at a slow pace HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hope you guys have a fine weekend and a good next week! I'll be always lurking around, but the creation process will be a bit slow.

Will still be here to mumble randomly about DMC and scream random things in the void though :D

*me getting ready to tackle life for the next months, going like "still heeeeeeeeere bitch!!"*

***

And I'd like to add that I searched for "Obi Wan" on GIFs to find some sassy defying mood too add here and one of the first hits was this:

I'll leave you guys on this note 'cause I'm still wheezing about it, it's so friggin' on point I can't EVEN

[cowardlycowboys]

anyway I've been pounding ibprophen so much I'm gonna give myself another ulcer

[arkhamm]

I just feel like I really became disillusioned and lost hope after getting a stomach ulcer from hrt. Like I've spent the past 6 years or so dealing medical problem after medical problem, and then after years of wanting hrt, I finally get the money to do it and decide I'm not gonna wait for my parents blessing anymore, and this just feels like such a kick in the teeth. And now two months after the ER visit, my stomach still isn't okay.

So now I'm on a restrictive diet of what I can eat without making myself sick, plus constant stomach problems anyway, on top of the chronic hip pain that I'm pretty sure needs surgery.

and I just.... I can't fucking take it anymore. how am I supposed to keep doing this?

and my mom keeps giving me shit for not being "productive", as if I could stand up and walk around without being in pain, or could eat an entire meal in one sitting.

[jacensolodjo]

This one RP forum I'm trying to join is giving me an ulcer. If I weren't so anxious to actually rp some star trek I'd just give up. Their sign up process is taking way longer than it should because they told me to change my bio because it wasn't 'clear' enough (sorry I like to keep some details to myself and let them come out in the midst of a thread) and THEN told me oops the background I chose and they knew I had (since I was only making it clearer) actually isn't viable anymore. Like you get that's really shitty right? You couldn't have said shit BEFORE I added like 500 more words to my bio?

and because my character NEEDS that background otherwise they are no longer that character I had to throw that OC out and bring in a different one.

and now they're showing me they actually aren't all that knowledgeable in the fact that you're always gonna be a spook if you were ever one. It doesn't go away. Your dossier will always say you were HUMINT and that follows you. You never see the world the same way when you've been a spook. (they also decided they were going to separate tactics and security entirely even tho they literally overlap in canon. Tuvok is head of both tactics and security!!)

(that's not even getting into the fact they couldn't google/comprehend when I talked about epigenetics for the first character and for some reason read it as gene tampering/Augment shit. "I don't know science" my sweet summer child this is star trek.)

To say nothing of how long it takes them to reply when they're like 'in order to write you need to reply quickly!! Once a day is recommended!' and yet i'm waiting like 3 days for them to reply to shit in PM and I can't edit anything until they get everything thru their heads and reply to me.

Like... no... how old are y'all? I'm getting the sensation i'm older than they are which explains the scatterbrained sign up process lmao

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, March 11, 2024!

7:43am: damn I feel like I'm freaking out about this remediation I slept like shit and I already feel so stressed wtf. I knew this would happen too, it's just like starting the semester over again. Also I gotta watch out bc DST means it just became daylight aka it's so easy to oversleep rn 😬

Today will be fine I'm 100% overthinking, which is good sometimes but I'm max stressed rn. Giving myself a fucking ulcer.

Also please stop thinking about dip shit, it does not matter if he treats his new girl better bc

1) THEY DON'T HAVE BILLS

2) THEY DON'T LIVE TOGETHER

3) THEY JUST HAVE BEING DRAMATIC ASSHOLES / NARCS IN COMMON

They're bar is in hell, mine is up here where the real men are. It's easy to be amazing when you have no morals or standards and also no responsibilities 😬 please grow tf up oh wait it's gonna be a few years/ a decade on that one. Idgaf if they're happy together that's like saying you're in love with Ted Bundy 💀

After Tuesday, I'm gonna keep going on dates, keeping myself in check and staying rested bc this no sleep shit is for the birds. I'm too old to be waking up in the middle of the night to do homework that shit doesn't fly anymore. Now waking up for fun is different. Also Idgaf if that guy doesn't text me back either, his loss too idc

11:33am: THE BACK N FORTH IS CRAZY. He called me on his house phoneeeeee this bih can't get enough of me!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhh

10:09pm: god thinking about how he said his gf is annoying and he wishes they were just friends, they have sex less than once a week, said my body looks better, he misses me and wishes he hadn't done all this, said she's like an annoying little sister 🤢 and he had to go to the hospital for hemorrhoids and says his body is falling apart and can't make any male friends and is tired of having female friends at 23 yrs old is craZ. And he's still suicidal AF I haven't heard him talk like that in a while, wanting to restart his life. Wow it's like he learns a new life lesson every mf day 🤯 karma is KRAZY. Fuck and I still have a hard time sympathizing for him because he treated everyone so badly including myself. Toxic ass narcissist ass MF.

[payperviewpanicattack]

Genuinely think I'm gonna give myself a stress ulcer

[charley-and-the-swap-machine]

CATSM: RE-INK'D (Chapter 4, Part 4)

five night's freddys (or or or or or or or or or or)

The Voice Of Lacie Benton

The only thing that works around here is my ulcer.

Half these people don't know a wrench from a dang steamroller. Buncha morons is what they are. Spend their day in the warehouse arguin' over who's supposed to be doin' what or playing them silly games.

Still, I'm not complainin'. I get most of my time to myself. Suits me just fine.

Only thing that bothers me is that mechanical demon in the corner. Bertrum's been working on it for a month now.

It's supposed to be for that haunted house over there, supposed to be that 'Devil Gang' guy or somethin'. He says it'll walk someday, maybe scare people.

All it does now is give me the creeps.

I swear, when my back's turned, that thing's movin'.

---------------------------------

Henry made his way through the door and took a look around the area. He found himself standing on a long, winding balcony, large pipes and chains running around the ceiling and down into the floor. He recognized a familiar chattering, and he looked down from the balcony.

Oh great, not these guys again. He thought with frustration as he looked down at the Devil Gang members crowding around a flaming dumpster. All three of them seemed preoccupied with staring at the fire that seemed so rare in the studio. The Imp reached the bone replacing its arm out to touch a flame, drawing back with a hiss upon being burnt by it.

I'm not getting past these guys without a weapon. Gotta find a distraction.

As Henry gazed down at the gang and wondered what to do, he leaned himself onto the railing, unknowingly knocking down an empty soup can below. He flinched as he saw the trio turn their attention to the noise, and he watched as they surrounded the metal can.

They stood there gathered around it, chattering amongst themselves in some unknown language that only ink monsters could understand, then hobbled away back to the flaming trash can.

Oh. So that's how it's gonna work, isn't it?

Henry collected a few empty cans nearby him, and made his way downstairs.

-

-

-

It only took a bit of throwing and sneaking by for Henry to reach the other side. He had to give some credit to the fact that most of them were half blind.

As he walked down the hallway before him, he soon came to a lever at the end. A small workbench lay to the side, a lifeless piece of metal in the shape of that demon from the Devil Gang slouched over it.

He reached for the lever, but was soon interrupted by the shuffling of something metallic. He turned around to stare at the robot behind him, before shrugging it off as the sound of the ventilation and turning back around. As he finally flipped the lever, he heard something slip off of the table and creep towards him. He sharply turned back around to see the animatronic staring directly at him from the floor, half of its face plate permanently in a scowl.

Taken aback, Henry shuffled backwards until he pressed up against the wall. The robot made a clicking noise and oozed a puddle of ink from its eye onto the floor, before dragging itself towards him.

Henry managed to avoid the outstretched unfinished hand as he raced towards the shelf nearby and threw a few empty soup cans at its head. Once the robot was successfully stunned, he grabbed it by the waist and dragged it near the exit.

Steadying himself properly, he hurled the robot over the Devil Gang, and slipped past the trio as they attacked the now-piece of scrap metal that was the animatronic.

He brushed himself off as he stood on the balcony once more. Well, that one's done. What's next, Edgar?

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Beuh I just put two and two together.

I hate benadryl. I do

And for that.. I will be pouring water into the rest of the pills I have on me annd wiping my hands of that whole disaster. Jesus it's getting on my nerves. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

It's gross. The taste is nasty, the side effects fucking suck, and I withdraw HORRIBLY. My eyes get red and puffy, nose gets red, I'm just constantly hot, I risk throwing up just by having an empty stomach, I get so moody, I stress so hard about it I now dissociate when I take em, my memory is worse, its harder to form a sentence

I cant take it anymore. I'd rather look like a horrible, shitty person that does literally nothing and absolutely HATE myself for it too than ever go back. Im done

It was a long and hard journey and I find it a bit ironic that it took me smoking weed to stop afterall

Ever since my attempt I just.. cant. I'm so grateful that I finally found some strong shit to replace that feeling. I'm wondering if im starting a problem with constantly needing to smoke tbh. But seriously... not having to worry about my fucking liver health and ulcers has been a forgotten blessing

I still hate the people of the r/dph subreddit. I swear it is the most useless place in the world. Not only do you rarely get anything but people talking about the hallucinative aspect of the shit but you ALSOO get shamed and sneered at when you actively have a problem. It's the stupidest shit I've ever seen. I felt so lost throughout all this. Slowly learning the dos and donts of this stupid substance was a process I wish I didn't go through

Anyway yeah. Fuck dph I'm tired of dealing with the effects. I don't even like the high anymore everytime I get on it as of lately I've just get mad and hurt myself with it. That's fucking all. And I'm tired of hurting myself. Shit is old

Annnd I'm gonna keep my head straight from here on hopefully. I don't really want to kill myself now that I see it's really the leftover benadryl talking. I uh... don't really want to go back to my old job.. so I'll be applying to some irl places instead. Hopefully that'll encourage to stop smoking so damn much as well. I'm going to call into sallie Mae snd hopefully get another deferment and my uni debt I'll be able to skate by this month but from here on I'll keep up with that better

I'll upload proof this time since I'm finally giving up my strict anonymity thing. Probably tomorrow.. I'm exhausted.

God uh for one, I already semi knew I'd be okay THE DAY I QUIT and I put in so many applications. I even got a response back.. but my dumbass was so hellbent on ending my shit I not only didn't call em back, I blocked they number so they couldn't try to do any followup. Stupid shit 😭

I think I'm glad I did it though. I wanna do something completely different this time and I applied to all office jobs. I know I'd run into the same issue if I do some more work from home officey/customer service shit rn

And hopefully... if nothing else.. I can save the money to make the appointments to get diagnosed. If I can manage just keeping a job for longer than 2 weeks, I'll make enough money to pay off my debts with no problem.

I dont want to smoke, I don't want to play anything, I don't really wanna play or watch anything anymore, I just want to be sad and get some money to get myself fixed atp

Anyways L. I feel dumb ah. I'm ready to move on

[exhausted-dog-mom]

posted my first youtube video and i’m just nervously refreshing the page. i should walk away but i’m too anxious (ó﹏ò｡)

[vaangoghs]

me: the stress levels are through the roof

also me: frantically refreshing these damn results websites

[nerdgasrnz]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT BTW, while we’re talking about RT Fuckery- let’s not forget that a bunch of the things check out???

Shane said some things about what got animated in V3 and who got to animate it, and I watched SEVERAL Animation panels during R*T*X 2016- many things that animators said that they got to work on aligned with what Shane said in his letter (not that I’m vilifying them at all, the animators do their jobs, that’s all)

(I gotta remind you all that I didn’t purposely watch these panels to validate Shane’s letter, btw. i was trying to keep busy with something else, but the information just came up during the Ladies of RT Animation panel and I knew what it was related to.)

Also, like that post about RT’s shitty pay towards animation said, the “higher ups” bragged about trips to:

-Japan (RW*BY being dubbed and selling well in Japan) -London (the MCM London convention, which they were invited to) -and New Zealand (”A Simple Walk Into Mordor”? You know, that documentary that the present directors of RW*BY+C*mp C*mp starred in?)

and we KNOW who they fucking are because those same “higher up” people literally go on twitter and talk about those trips as well!!! The directors of RW*BY/C*mp C*mp literally posted about it!

It’s not like people are lying about how shady RT is because there’s evidence that substantiates these things ON THE INTERNET!!! FROM THE ACTUAL OTHER EMPLOYEES!!! And it’s not even like they have to directly address “drama” because if you just pay like 5 seconds of attention to all the other people and inner workings going on, it speaks for itself!!!

It’s also incredibly grating because it’s because of Monty being brought on to work for RT, that the animation department of RT has become what it is today? And Monty worked hard. Super FUCKING hard. Yeah, he made it look easy, but that’s because he had well over a decade of animation experience under his belt, which got poured into every RT production he worked on.

And to hear that they don’t even pay their animators that well, only for a weekly web series like RW*BY to have writing errors, last-minute changes and shit for the animators to fix is INEXCUSABLE GARBAGE. As an animator, it makes me fucking livid. Especially knowing how much money gets thrown around at RT for other things.

Animation is hard work. Regardless of if you’re self taught, or professionally trained, animation is difficult. 3D animation, which is probably what the employee was referring to, is probably the most difficult medium to get the hang of, and has a high learning curve. And that is the medium that RT’s 2 biggest flagship productions is made from. (Yes, that is subtracting the machinimation for RvB)

With 3D animation, you can’t just make some clever photoshops or easy fixes to the final footage when you screw up. In 2D animation, you may need to redraw, recolor, and rearrange the frames you’ve done. But with 3D, you need to have your shit together BEFORE you send things to animation.

It’s one thing when, years ago, Monty would make last minute changes to things he wanted in RW*BY right before a deadline- but he was actually INVOLVED in the animation, modeling, and rigging processes.

It’s something else when you come from being a writer, a producer, and/or a film compositor and you’re in charge of an animated production, and you have NO PART of the actual 3D animation process, and you don’t have the God-like efficiency in modeling, animating, and rigging to push last-minute changes into the production before a deadline.

Yeah, those same ppl may contribute a little mocap acting here and there, but mocap still needs to be cleaned up and arranged in the correct places to be used properly versus the hand-keyed animation that still needs to be done for the show right before the next episode needs to come out.

The average salary for 3D animation in the United States is almost $60K a year, which is pretty decent for work in Austin, Texas (the avg. cost of living where RT is based is $55K yearly) So to hear the possibility that animators at RT actually DO NOT make the average animation salary in the United States is appalling to me.

[girlyliondragon]

/negative (kinda? Not really a “vent” but moreso frustrated?)

The fact that I’m nervous and so easy to back down and all the very moment I’m confronted is not something that is usual for me.

And I know this and I wish I could stop being that because I know it’s only a thing because it’s something that has rubbed off onto me and it’s FRUSTRATING AAAAAAAA.

[halalgirlmeg]

Its been a week since I submitted my app to my dream job and this is fine I'm totally fine

*vibrates at hyperspeed whilst I check the date and my emails every three minutes*