#I'm going to try to be ruthless again about getting rid of things and my mental health will probably suffer for it

[jedi-bird]

Made it to ikea today anc got some of the stuff I needed (everything was in stock but they don't carry some of the size frames I need). As usually happens, I wound up with an impulse buy of a cute little plush astronaut kitty, because space and cats and plushies. This week I'm going to try and focus on the living room and the garage now that the weather is cooling down, with the goal of ordering the rest of the shelves by the end of next month (preferably before but we'll see how it goes).

[amyispxnk]

Thinking about Joel from The Last of Us (what's new)

Thinking about how Joel was so young when he had Sarah

But he loved her with his entire heart

And he raised her by himself (Tommy probably helped a bit of course, but he can only do so much)

How much he worked and how much stress he was going through. Mans was on meds BEFORE the apocalypse.

Then how fast it all came crashing down for him and he lost his entire world in one night. She died begging for him to help and he couldn't do anything.

The guilt and grief must have been unimaginable. Losing a child is enough, but losing one like that?

And then I'm thinking about how much he changed.

We don't know everything about in-between Texas and Boston, but we know how terrifying he got.

And in Boston we saw it, he'd just kill and kill and it was honestly the same throughout the entirety of the first game. He was ruthless, looking for distraction and a way to get rid of his anger but obviously it was never enough.

After the hospital and return to Jackson, he obviously got softer.

Ellie was his second chance, and he knew that after what he did it was gonna go wrong eventually so he was treasuring her whilst he still could. He got to be a dad again and we saw how damn good he was at it, from conversations about Sarah to what we actually saw him doing with Ellie.

He tried really hard for her, even after she acted like she wanted nothing to do with him. Eg. Jackson Party flashback, Jesse tells Ellie how Joel keeps asking about her patrols and checking up on her without asking her because she doesn't want to talk to him. And then she yells at him in front of everyone for trying. I love Ellie, but that scene was so horrible and I actually felt like shit after it. The look on his face when he saw everyone watching him and judging him? I don't know how Ellie held it together.

And on that final flashback, the Porch Scene, he gets close to tears when she says she wants to try fix their relationship. Joel Miller, who we saw as a ruthless murderer who didn't like anyone in the first game, getting choked up because the Infected Girl, the One, Ellie, his babygirl, wanted to be his daughter again.

And they never got the chance to go back to normal and it breaks my heart.

Going through his house you could also see how he'd relaxed there, too. Woodcarving, playing gee-tar of course, rocking chair on the porch, books (space book with the glasses made me cry, he read it just for her even when they weren't talking. he really tried), the pictures of his two girls in his room and family around the house. And when I play that part all I can think about it how lonely he was. Imagine how much time he spent alone in that house or sitting outside on the porch. He must have felt so left out because everyone had somebody but he didn't anymore.

One thing that really made me sob was the picture of the dinner his family and Ellie and whatnot were at. The one where Tommy's there, Maria's there, Ellie's there.. and noone sits beside him. Because they're all with their somebodies and Ellie can't bear the sight of him. The look on their faces as they awkwardly avoid eye contact and everything is so sad.

Joel. Miller. Deserved. Better. Say it louder for the ones in the back

And no I'm not ready to watch this play out all over again in the HBO version.

[drawnecromancy]

Happy STS!

Your characters and story but it's the middle ages. What roles do they have in the society? Are they royalty or something else? How does your story change?

(Also unrelated but I was curious does the place that Claire comes from have a name? I read until page 22 of the webcomic and I want spoilers because I am horrible at handling suspense)

Ahh, hm. About 90% of my stories are in some kind of medieval-fantasy setting, besides Break of Dawn. There is, also, a medieval fantasy past to that story - you can find that in the tag "before dawn : the age of the gods", that is mostly full of random thoughts and snippets. I have a lot of thoughts about pre-Dawn things because I am completely unable to do anything modern for more than half a second before turning to medieval fantasy again.

If we're just teleporting everyone to the normal middle ages, Claire doesn't get powers and her family doesn't die HAHA (<- so so evil.); the whole story cannot happen because its inciting incident is... genuinely, a half god from space arriving and going "I don't like how things are around here. Let's destroy everything that makes this place special, and turn it into what I think it should be !".

We could have a completely different story, turning Dawn into some queen that has invaded the country and having a ruthless rule, and killing Claire's family off for whatever reason to jumpstart the moment where we start following characters, but that's not really something I'd want to explore. The point of Break of Dawn is that it used to be medieval fantasy, but no one remembers, and magic is actively erased, history rewritten, people killed to hide it.

I'm having trouble just imagining Break of Dawn in the middle ages because it... really is not made for it to work there at all, haha. It would be an entirely different thing, I'd probably cut down the number of characters, as we wouldn't need the overpowered 3 of the Undercity; Dawn could just be assassinated. Etc, etc. Vincent would be interesting as an evil advisor, though... Claire would likely start out as the child of farmers, and if I'd figured out a way to murder her family, she'd become a traveler/adventurer with her Brand New Dads, I guess.

The problem here is really that it's not meant to work there at all, and that everything else I write is already medieval-flavored, haha.

Here's what we could do, i guess :

Claire's family gets murdered for ??? reasons. She gets picked up by two errant adventurers. (knights, maybe ?)

She meets Vincent, who's like 2 years older than she is, because he's the son of her new dads' friends.

After some growing up, Claire and her dads live with other people in the capital city of the country, she gets a baby brother.

They eventually have to rescue Vincent and his new baby sibling, while Vincent's parents get killed, because they were doing shady shit.

This whole time the adventurer dads are doing shady shit, but they aren't explaining to their daughter that they're straight up trying to murder the queen.

??? Vincents gets abducted by his uncle, becomes nobility and the queen's evil advisor.

The dads die.

Claire becomes an adult, raises her two little brothers Sacha & Kyle, falls in love, blah blah.

When her brothers are teenagers, Sacha gets abducted, Vincent is the one to save him and get him back to her.

Meanwhile a stray seer (at least that's what that 16 year old claims to be) is picked up by Kyle

Claire and her family go avenge the Witchmann dads and murder the queen. I don't know what happens to Vincent.

That's it. I'd just straight up get rid of the Sky City and everyone in it. Sorry Elysia, Val, Mark, Melyane, and Ava. They wouldn't work in a pure medieval setting, the core of their existence is because of magic. Val, Mark and Ava especially are reminders of the past before Dawn.

(Also : while the little town she grew up in doesn't have a name, mainly because we're never going back there in the story, i can tell you the story currently takes place in the region of Lonna. I don't have a finite map as of right now, so I can't like. point and go "this is Lonna". The capital of Lonna is called Kello, and it's a place that will eventually appear. Currently, Claire and the Witchmanns are quite far up north of Lonna, I think ? I'm not 100% sure; geography in Break of Dawn isn't really something I've thought about. Also, Hoo Boy :) while I wouldn't consider the name of the region to be a big spoiler, there's a couple of places that could technically be considered spoilers if you want them : the Sky City, the Academy, the Undercity, the labs. >:) we'll be exploring them eventually ! Though, thankfully, Claire won't be the one getting put through these things for once.)

(I also, like, don't even tag break of dawn spoilers as spoilers most of the time when i'm talking about characters or events that won't appear for a while, so if you ever see mention of... literally any character that isn't Claire, Sandy or Percy in a post of mine tagged Break of Dawn, it's currently technically spoilers. OR it's before Dawn. One or the other. Sometimes both if it's about the Emperor ! So if you want to learn more about anything, don't hesitate ! i love rambling, lol)

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

🖊 for Riven and G'raha. I know there's been some awkwardness in the Rivenverse, but I'm not sure how it all fits.

Awkwardness is actually a pretty good descriptor. And to preface, @erickgage jokes that I pretty much deal in self-indulgent fantasy in the fact that I take the chances I can to drag this man up and over the coals for the bullshit he pulled. Which I feel is completely valid because as far as I know so far, there's not a lot of stuff in the fandom that actually has him dealing with the consequences of his actions. However I do try to be as unbiased I can in terms of lore and story. Try being the key word.

Anyhoo. G'raha does not really endear himself to Riven the first time they met, first because of the stunts he pulls while she's getting the reagents needed to break the Tower's security, and second because of the hero worship. Hero worship 100% creeps Riven the fuck out.

(CT stuff is also in that weird gray area of stuff I'm ironing out due to the overhaul. Suffice to say, Riven did settle into a working relationship with G'raha, she does respect him as a scholar and fighter, and she was upset when he did seal himself away.)

And then we have post Stormblood. The Scions are dropping like flies, Riven's having panic flashbacks of the bloody banquet and how long it took to get her friends back, for all she knows Augustine and the others are on the chopping block next, and then mid fight with Elidibus of all people, her spirit gets yanked to a border crossing where this stranger is telling her not to fight the Empire, that she needs to cross to another world and ah don't worry you're still alive! Suffice to say, the moment the Exarch closed the doors in the Crystal Tower after Riven's proper arrival to the First, she read him the riot act. And because he was on her shit list at the time, the fact that he rapidly deflected her request of 'okay, can you bring the rest of my friends over' immediately made her suspicious, as was the explanation for the crossing spell.

And in all honestly, she had every right to be. The situation in the First was pretty fucking grim, and G'raha--rather Crystal Exarch, came from an even worse scenario. I have the feeling that he tried multiple things to get rid of the Light, they didn't work, and finally was forced to go 'well shit, this is the only thing I have and even then it's going to be bad.' I like to think that he didn't want to play fast and loose with the Warrior of Light's life, but at the same time it seemed as if he had no choice. Crystal Exarch comes off to me at certain times in the game as being ruthless, and you know what? You can't blame him. It was that same ruthlessness Riven was picking up on, because the Exarch didn't want to bring Augustine and the others over. He knew if he did, the plan would definitely be in peril. The Scions could be placated, Riven would certainly throw herself body and soul into trying to save the First--he was banking on her heart and empathy--and well...

One or four big brothers getting sus vibes and possibly acting on them would ruin the whole thing. So the Exarch placated Riven by saying he'd see what he would do while she met up with Alphy and Allisae, banking that the sheer 'what the FUCK' horror of current world events would sway Riven enough that she would believe him when he said he couldn't bring Augustine and the others over.

This did not work out well. Following Holminster Switch, Riven approached him again. The Exarch would hem and haw about the magic going off kilter and he wasn't able to get a lock on them. The next thing he then saw was Riven's back as she went through the portal.

Which then resulted in this.

Fortunately for the Exarch, he then caught a break, as Urianger's predictions...while not completely on the money (Sebastian becoming a gunbreaker was the outlier) did come true. He started to feel guilt for what he was doing, but it was too late to turn back. Especially when he and Riven had a much better working relationship than their first outing (though probably being much older and not as hero-worshippy had a lot to do with it).

And then Mt. Gulg happened. And if there's one thing Riven is very good at, it's choosing what's more important to deal with. She was hurt, she certainly felt betrayed, but if she gave into those feelings, she'd turn into the Norvrandt Lightwarden for certain. So she set them to the side, and set about breaking the Light's hold on the First--and defeating Emet-Selch. She kept the Exarch at a distance, and this continued up until shortly before the first Eden outing. Riven was back from the Source with the others--minus Reinhardt, who was still fighting his curse. They were meeting with the Exarch, something was said--they don't remember now--but it resulted in a blowout fight between the Exarch and Riven.

(which is in progress, here is a snippet)

TLDR: Exarch flung at Riven that it was her fault her friends were turning into Lightwardens due to bringing them to the First--to which Riven responded that yes, she knew it was her fault and she'd live with the guilt of harming them for the rest of her days but really did he have any right to talk after what he'd pulled, and again--the hero-worship/putting her on a pedestal. Which did make the Exarch check--because yep, he was guilty of it. And he'd used it in manipulating Riven's own feelings.

Elidibus then happened.

Suffice to say, while the fight did help clear the air--things were now officially awkward. Riven kept distance from the Exarch, though she did honor his wishes and helped revitalize him in the Source. The awkward generally continued though Endwalker, though by the time of Ultima Thule, the two of them were somewhat on more of an even keel--as working adventurers and scholars. So there's progress being made. They may never be truly close, but mutual respect works just fine.

The entire affair however, was the death knell for Riven being...agreeable when it came to her role as the Warrior of Light in any grand schemes or plans. Being sweet and accommodating was no longer an option, especially if her good nature was being used as a weapon against her.

(long live the gremlin)

[thebookworm0001]

I'm terribly nosy, so-- 3,5,11, 19 for the ask game? Or whichever you prefer! ❤️

Gonna answer 3&5 for another ask in a second, so hold on tight!

11. Do you believe in the old advice to "kill your darlings?" Are you a ruthless darling assassin?

What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

The way that my professors explained this one to me is that sometimes you have lines/sections/etc that you may love, but just don’t work for your piece. So you ditch them. However, you don’t get rid of them. You throw them into a special dead darlings document/folder/notebook and hold onto them. They may live there forever, or you may find that they work perfectly somewhere else.

So, I say less ‘kill your darlings’ and more ‘put them in retirement and they can come out of it if they feel like working again’

I actually combined a lot of my fic wips into one single wip doc, so now I can pull out my darlings and they just hang around. Usually any sadness I feel is replaced once I figure out what actually is working. Then I can try to find a new home for whatever I had to ditch. I’m much more attached to getting the thing right than I am making sure that a single line or phrase sticks around.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey.

When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved to read. Stories were everything to her. Why be in the real world when the pages between covers could offer so much more? One day, the brilliant idea came to her - what if she made her own adventures? She quite liked this one World, where children had been given wings and sought to find a place to live in peace far away from the terrible people who had done so. So why not tell a new story there? So she did! And my goodness, she didn’t stop. She filled up notebook after notebook of stories - using the sandbox other people had made to play with new stories and ideas. Many of them very dark, most of them always working toward a happy end. She even shared some of them with people. Some she knew and some she would never meet. And at some point, she started trying out her own worlds and own people. None of them very original, but what can you expect when you’re first starting out. And she liked that so much she decided to keep doing it, and to pay quite a bit of money to learn how to do it better.

And at this point I’m dropping the fairy tale thing. Tired.

Anyway, went to college for creative writing. Figured out not only do I kinda love poetry, I’m actually quite good at it. Got some of mine published internationally, even. Turns out writing short stories makes my brain hurt but I want to do it more than I want to write the poems. College included some Trauma, some of which I wrote about, some of which I can’t write about still (hello burn injuries) and then I wrote a book. 61k words in one year for a single project - a first for me. And a fucking fantastic way to burn myself out. Like, I do think I actually hurt myself doing that. (Perfectionism and anxiety combined to form procrastination and I’m a slow writer as-is.) Very proud of the project. Still have not read it all the way through (that’s a summer project, actually) because reading my own work is some of the most terrifying shit I have to do and I actively avoid it.

Got a job doing writing and editing things professionally. Then a pandemic happened. And somehow that allowed me to write and publish my first ever bit of erotica. Which continues to be my most popular piece of writing.

I don’t write nearly as much as I used to these days - a combo of that burnout and just not having the time/energy anymore (also that perfectionism that I have been getting slowly better about) - and I’m trying to be kind to myself about it. Writing feels a lot like pulling teeth for me - but the end product makes it worth it. And I don’t think I could ever stop writing. I love stories too much. But I’m at a place where if I want to be able to keep doing it, I can’t push myself the way I once did. And while that is frustrating, it does mean that when i can get my writer brain to turn on, it’s a lot easier to get stuff down. If only because I’ve spent four months working out the details of a scene in my head before writing out a single word.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Every Bsd Organization Goal (That I Know Of)

This is mainly gonna be about the Armed Detective Agency, the Port Mafia, the Guild, Mimic, the Gifted Special Operations Division, and the Decay of Angels, because those are the only groups I know.

SO LET'S GO!

Armed Detective Agency -

To protect Yokohama in their sorta own way while not actually being under government jurisdiction. They sometimes do things their own way (such as when the cafe was attacked), but they mainly focus on solving mysteries and crimes, with a little side job of trying to keep the other groups in check.

Port Mafia -

A criminal organization that smuggles weapons and deals in violence. They "run the night" and are constantly up to their knees in illegal dealings. They can and will mow down anybody on their turf, but are always at a stand-still with the Gifted Special Operations Division (because the Port Mafia isn't big enough to take them on) and the Armed Detective Agency (because the Armed Detective Agency is just a wee bit stronger than what the Port Mafia always thinks).

The Guild -

A secret group of American gifteds that do what they please because their fucking rich. They came to Yokohama to find "the book" so that the leader could bring his daughter back to life. They fell once after being defeated by the Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia, and being covered up by the Gifted Special Operations Division, but they eventually gained back enough assets to become a threat again.

Mimic -

An older group that actually isn't around anymore. They were military officers for England (Correct me if that's wrong), but were used as a scapegoat for their country doing something around a deal (might also be wrong) and were basically thrown from their country. They searched for a "warrior's death" for a while until they all eventually died in battle, the last death coming from a now dead member of the Port Mafia.

The Gifted Special Operations Division -

The only truly legal group here. They actually work under the government and try to keep gifted people from being found out by non-gifted people. They always have their hands full dealing with the Port Mafia and sometimes request help from the Armed Detective Agency. They also deal with a lot of the cover-ups that come from other gifted groups almost being found out.

Decay of Angels - (I know the least about this group, so my facts are more than likely going to be wrong.)

A small group of very powerfully gifted and smart individuals who wish to find (edit-"use") "the book" so they can purge the world of sin, aka get rid of all gifted. They are ruthless and kill without hesitation. An enemy of the Armed Detective Agency, the Port Mafia, and the Gifted Special Operations Division, and actively hunted down, yet they're still kicking. (Em.... I looked into this a bit more, and their real goal with the book is to unify all countries with the book. My bad.) (Or it's to make Japan disappear? Idk. Season 4 is confusing af.)

(I haven't seen season 4 or 5 yet, so my info may be outdated)

(Also, this is from later, but I'm aware I forgot Rats in the House of the Dead, but that's cause my memory sucks and I forgot about it, so their goal is to find the book that alters reality)

(I'm sorry this post has so many edits, but I just have one more and it's for the Hunting Dogs since I just found out about them.)

Hunting Dogs -

They work for the government, and they're basically special ops for gifteds with strong abilities. So once a gifted starts using their abilities for criminal or terrorist activities, that's when the Hunting Dogs step in.

[charliedawn]

Hiii could you do a slashers helping the reader escape from the other mother! I hope you have a good day

Of course. So, you are the slashers' adoptive daughter and the Beldam decided you would be the perfect prey..Unbeknownst to her, she would soon meet your parents. Enjoy.

Five *enters in the Other Side and finds the Beldam to bargain* : "I hate witches. But, I'll make a deal with you. You let go of Y/N, and you'll get me. Now, come on. I'm all yours, you big ugly crawlie.."

Five would pretend to be surrendering and exchange places with you—only to jump into time and space to escape.

Five would firstly try to get rid of the Other Mother by himself, but would give up if he sees she is too strong.

He would then warn the slashers and they would all get on the Other Side to destroy the Beldam and make sure she won't hurt you—or anyone else—ever again..

Five : "No one hurts Y/N. No one."

The Beast *roars* : "OURS !"

The Beast wouldn't waste any time before attacking the Beldam and make sure she knows her place.

He wouldn't wait to find a plan or discuss with the Horde, as the Beast is ruthless and the moment you are in danger, he would act.

It's not like the Horde wouldn't approve though.

They all vouched for him to take control when they knew you were in danger.

Other Mother : "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME !"

The Beast *keeps punching the Beldam mercilessly* : "THEY'RE OURS !"

It would be more of a power and ownership kind of thing to the Beast, but it would reunite you with the other personalities.

Patricia *hugs you tightly* : "Oh thank goodness ! You are alright.."

Dennis *frowns disapprovingly at you* : "Never leave again without telling us."

Barry *cries in relief and embraces you* : "NEVER DO THAT TO US AGAIN, GOT IT ?!"

Jason and Freddy would team up. They may not like each other, but they both know they fight better together.

They usually don't get along, but would make an exception to take down whoever or whatever hurt you.

Freddy would taunt her and make sure she reveals your location. He would then let Jason occupy the Other Mother before going to get you.

Once he is sure you are alright and out of danger, he would return and help Jason.

Freddy would then proceed to find out what her weaknesses are and tell Jason.

Let's say..The Other Mother wouldn't last long.

Freddy : "Behind you."

Jason *decapitates her*

Freddy *chuckles* : "...To be fair, I did warn you."

Norman : "...So, you think you are a better mother than me ?"

Norman would find offense in the fact that the Beldam would kidnap you and claim to make all your wishes come true.

Norman fought tooth and nail to get custody and make your life the best he could offer you.

He would find great insult in the fact that the Beldam would try to replace him and it would end in Norman throwing himself at the Beldam to tear her head off.

Norman *yells hysterically* : "YOU NEVER TOUCH MY KID AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME ?! THEY'RE MINE ! I'M THEIR PERFECT PARENT ! NOT YOU !"

When Brahms found you missing, he immediately panicked and searched everywhere for you.

When he saw the little door going to the Other Side, he didn't think twice before crawling there to retrieve you.

When he noticed the Beldam who was about to devour you, he was so angry and didn't hesitate before jumping on her ripping her eyes out.

Brahms is stealthy and knows how to remain quiet and move fast.

He then made sure to stay very still for a moment before grabbing you, quickly making your way back to your true home.

Brahms *shakes you back and forth* : "DO. NOT. SCARE. BRAHMS. AGAIN !"

The Beldam may be powerful, but she wouldn't stand a chance against Penny and Pennywise.

They are literal aliens and their powers combined would make anyone tremble in fear.

If anything, she would feel their power and not pick you as a target—if only to stay out of their radar.

She would feel a lot less confident about her choice and either give you back or attempt to eat you and leave before your family comes to get you..But, I wouldn't count on it.

Penny *giggles* : "You will pay with your life for this mistake.."

Pennywise : "Your death will be long and painful if you do not give them back. We won't show you any mercy and tear you limb from limb..Now, give us back our child."

Beldam ? What Beldam ?

Myers found a spider in the house and decided to set it on fire.

He didn't find any evil witch..even though the spider did seem rather huge.

...

Oh.

Beetlejuice : "So...You're the very ugly thing that's been threatening my kid ?"

Beldam *seethes at him and holds you closer to her* : "MINE !"

Beetlejuice *snickers and throws his cigarette to the floor* : "Dream on, ugly."

Beetlejuice is a poltergeist. He would tire the Beldam out, even summon demons from the Underworld to get you back.

Or, even worse..He would start haunting the Beldam's house until she gives in.

Beldam *screams when she finds the whole house in complete disarray for the third time in an hour* : "GET OUT !"

Beetlejuice *laughs* : "Ain't happening. Now, tell me where my kid is, or I start plucking out your garden plants.."

The Other Mother would have no choice but to comply.

J : "KABOOM !"

J would go all out and would bring every single weapon known to Man to save you.

He would throw everything he has at her until she would tell him where you are and he would have you safe.

He would then make sure you are alright before asking you to wait for him on the other side.

J would then throw a bomb inside the tunnel before leaving—for good measure.

J *sighs* : "There are things and people out there that want to hurt you, Y/N. Life isn't pretty. But, it's life. And it's the only life you got me to protect you. So, next time you wanna get a 'better life' and sell your soul to a spider witch, remember that.."

[buckyhoney-library]

volume control, b.b

A/N: Hope all is well, please give me feedback about what you think about this one, I had a lot of fun writing this one!

Request: Hi, I'm not sure if your taking requests right now. But if you are, could you do a Bucky x reader smut where the reader loses her voice so Bucky tries to see how loud she can get in bed without her voice? Thank you. You're an amazing writer.

Warnings: language, 18+, overstimulation, oral (fem rec), fingering, praise kink, unprotected sex (no glove, no love)

Word Count: 2.8k

Your POV

     The warm ginger flavored tea cooled the burning sensation of my throat. It seemed to be the only thing that I had tried that had calmed the feeling. Laryngitis had made an appearance this week, completely wrecking the use of my voice. Every time I tried to speak; I sound like a boy going through puberty.

     The last couple of days had the worst in terms of soreness- luckily that part is over. All that seems to be left of the illness is the voice cracks and inability to talk about a whisper. It has become more annoying than anything.

      Every time respond to Bucky, you could see the amount of self-control it was taking not to laugh or make a joke about the croaking.

     Dressed in only black spandex and a t-shirt, I pulled myself off the couch with my empty mug in hand. The couch seemed to be my home for the past week. I had called out of work for the week. Knowing that trying to talk to clients while sounding like a pubescent boy wouldn’t be very professional.

     Calling out of work had proven to be more beneficial in more ways than one. It allowed more time to be able to spend more time with my moody boyfriend and catching up on shows that I had been putting off.

     Bucky called off his avengers’ duties this week and took care of me while I wrestled with the illness. Trading in his weapons for running to the store to grab more boxes of tea, throat lozenges, and a variety of ramen.

“How many of those have you been though?” Bucky questions walking past me pouring the hot water in my mug.

     I pulled out a fresh box, ripping the cardboard lid open. It really did seem like we tried everything to relieve the pain. Spoons of honey, throat lozenges, saltwater, nothing helped other than tea. This means I have been drinking it like a madwoman.

“This is the second box since last night,” My voice cracking at the end. We’re making slight progress, the voice cracks getting further apart. I gesture to the bottle of honey; he grabs it from the counter handing it to me, shaking his head.

“You should probably slow down, you’re not gonna have enough for later.”

“That’s why I have you to get me more,” This time he doesn’t hold back on the laughs when he hears the faint cracks and strain. I turn back around in protest of his action, pretending to be upset at him.

     In reality, it was hard to stay irritated with him when he laughs. The pureness of the sound and the smile that would take up his whole face never failed to make me smile.

    He comes up from behind me, wrapping his arm around my torso. With his body pressing against mine, the coolness of the metal against my arms sent shivers down my spine. The hair on his chin tickling my shoulder, watching me as I finish pouring the honey.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing, you’re not feeling good” He mumbles, his lips nipping at the base of my neck. Moving my neck to the side, granting him more access to it.

    Bucky peppering kisses along my neck and shoulder. This action causing me to giggle and buck my hips against his and gripping the edge for the counter for support. A small breathy groan leaves his mouth when my hips made contact with his.

“I’m feeling fine now,” I manage to whisper without the croaking sound. He twists my waist, forcing my body to turn and face his. I look up at his blue eyes, they were darker than normal. His facial hair grown out a bit making him look softer and cuddlier.

“You sound better,” Bucky taunted, his voice had gotten lower and his eyes looking down at the gap between our bodies.

“Does it?” As soon as I thought my voice wasn’t going to crack, the words fall out cracked and broken. Ruining the seriousness of my tone.

Bucky rolls his lips in holding back a laugh.

“So good, baby,” Bucky slides his hands underneath the bottom of my shirt.

     A breathy whine escaping my lips, feeling his cool hand along the sides of my hips. His eyebrows rose at the sound,

“You sound so sexy,” His tone lowered and his eyes piercing mine. I pressed my body to him, wrapping my bare arms around his neck. His lips connecting with mine and his arms pulling me tighter, trying to eliminate any and all space between us. 

I can feel his bulge forming against my pelvis- all because of a moan.

     Sinking into each other, our lips matching in rhythm and pace. A raspy yelp leaving my lips as I feel a harsh smack against my right ass cheek. Completely forgetting the only thing separating it was thin spandex- Bucky’s favorite article of clothing. He says it is one of his favorite things that we have created.

     He liked the way it made my ass jiggle and moved with whenever I took a step. He especially went crazy when they’re rid up when I’d grab something from the top shelf in the kitchen, exposing the bottoms of my ass. He never failed to smack it, sometimes leaving his handprint through the fabric.

    Bucky’s flesh hand grabbing a fist full of ass and jiggling it himself. His release of the flesh causing me to whine again.

    The bulge that was currently trapped in his basketball shorts, started to throb. If only I could take it in my mouth and relieve all the pent-up pressure.

     Bucky’s lips moved away from mine but kissing alongside my jawline and down my throat. His hands now gripping my hips preparing me to jump back onto the kitchen island. I jumped, allowing him to guide me onto the cold granite.

     With his lips disconnecting from the side of my neck, his eyes peering into mine. It’s as if I could read his mind, knowing exactly what he wants. All I do is nod,

“I want to hear you moan, baby,” His hands teasing the waistband of the spandex. Dipping his fingers inside, but not going far. The feeling making my cunt moisten.

     Bucky’s true talent was his ability to tease. He was never in a rush, always took his time making sure that I was dripping before even daring to pull his dick out. It was like he got off on that the sight of the arousal dripping down the sides of my cunt.

“I want to see if you can still get loud,” My breath hitches, and my core tightening. My chest rises and falls heavier at the thought.

     As vocal as I am in bed, Bucky never put to the test how loud I could go. He was always satisfied with how vocal I ended being. What he loved, even more, was seeing me struggle to keep quiet. Teasing my clit with his fingers till I couldn’t help but moan.

     Bucky’s fingers starting in slow circles, watching me twitch and shudder. He’d dip his fingers inside gathering all the juices and using it to add pleasure. He’d moan at the sight of how visibly hard it was for me to stay silent. Some nights, he’d give me a towel or blanket to bite down on. Other nights, he’d want to see me struggle and wouldn’t give me anything to help.

    The moment I would make even the tiniest of whimpers, the pleasure would be ripped from me and I would be left not being able to cum till I could prove I could do it.

Those nights he was ruthless. Edging me till I was in tears.

Every time he’d pull away, making it almost painful to stay quiet the next time.

      I spread my legs giving him access to the place that was about to cause me a great deal of regret. His fingers slide inside the waistband of the shorts, bucking my hips at the contact. His fingers quickly being removed before they touched my clit.

“You fucking tease,” My voice was barely audible, his lips curl into a devilish smirk. Without any sort of permission, I removed my shirt. My breast dropped and Bucky’s eyes flickered to my bare chest, lighting up instantly. My nipples already hardening at exposure to the cold air.

     Within seconds, Bucky taking one in his mouth and his hand squeezing and kneading the other harshly. Eagerly tugging on my nipple with his teeth and soothing it with his tongue. I whimpered with every tug. I could see the smile on his face when I looked down.

     I wrapped my arms loosely around his head, keeping him focused on my breast. The only movement being when he’d move off the other giving attention to it. The nipping and tugging making my cunt completely soaked. I could feel it soaking through the spandex. The harsh treatment towards my breasts making the ache between my legs so strong, I thought Bucky could feel it.

   Bucky took his time giving each breast a moment to be assaulted, leaving them both sore. I silently prayed that my cunt was next.

    Bucky pulled away from my breasts, removing his shirt. The sight of his abdomen and dog tags, causing my pussy to throb a little harder. He places lips on my collarbone, slowly laying back on the counter and shoving the opened mail and assignment files on the floor.

    The combination of the cold granite and his hand made my back arch. He placed small kisses down my stomach till he got to my naval- that’s when he started to drag his tongue down till he got to the band of my spandex. I hold my breath as he removes my shorts, finally exposing my slick cunt. 

    I pushed my hips into the counter motioning the need for something to relieve the throbbing.

“So pretty, baby…” Bucky murmurs sliding his middle finger down the sopping wet folds, teasing my entrance. His finger only sliding into the first knuckle, he still standing while he does so. A scratchy moan getting past my lips.

“Yes, baby, I want to hear you.” Without warning he inserts two fingers and curling them, hitting the spongey tissue. My walls start contracting.

My throat tensing as I unexpectedly whine at the feeling.

“Good girl, I know you can get louder.”  Bucky eyes not leaving mine, I am now propped on my elbows and grinding my hips into his fingers. He adds his metal thumb to my clit, rubbing the bud at an agonizingly slow pace. Bucky removed his fingers from my cunt, bringing them to my lips.

    I open my lips enough for his fingers to enter. I sucked the clean, tasting myself. The saliva from my mouth being used as lubrication before he slid them back inside. The circles around my clit become faster. Our eyes met and his pace quickened. My jaw-dropping from the pure pleasure of his fingers. His mouth dropping with mine and his eyes darkened as he watched my body start to jerk.

A string of curses left my mouth and my vocal cords struggling to get any sound out.

“You’re doing so good” I laid back down, feeling my limbs fall weak to the feeling of my orgasm approaching. The soreness of my throat getting tighter, but not caring.

     Bucky crouched down coming eye to eye with my cunt, still fingering fucking my entrance. His thumb left my clit, but it was replaced with his lips. His tongue swirling around the bud. His facial hair scratching the sides of my legs adding more sensation down there. His fingers haven’t stopped, if anything they had gotten faster.

     My eyes rolling back, not being able to properly keep them open. I groaned and gasped at the fast-approaching orgasm. There was no denying that this would wreck my voice even more than it was before, but the feeling of his tongue and fingers making the future pain bearable.

“Fuck!” I went into pure ecstasy. I jerked my hips towards his mouth, my lower half becoming incredibly sensitive. Bucky doesn’t even seem to notice my body twitching. I gripped the kitchen towel beside me,

“Bucky, I-“ I was interrupted by his fingers curling again hurling me over the edge. My throat tensing again, it felt like it was bleeding inside.

         Bucky continues to attack my cunt with his tongue. His fingers leave my hole and join his other hand holding my hips down. I didn’t know how much more of the pleasure I could take.

“Such a good girl, you taste so good.” His voice muffled against my throbbing pussy as he licks the rest of the arousal up. I manage to prop myself up again, our eyes meeting again.

     His mouth glistening from my juices. His eyes don’t break eye contact, staring at me as a string of spit drips onto my clit. I watched in awe of him, he licks it up flicking my cunt one last time. My body has cooled down from the brutal assault.

“You’re doing so well, princess.” He brought himself up, I see the wet spot against his briefs. He was soaked through with precum. The tip was red and swollen, looking like it was going to burst with only a few strokes.

“But I know you can do better,” I sit up completely and watch as he frees his dick. It’s glistening with his liquid, reach to take hold of it in my hand. Bucky stops my hand from doing so, guiding it around his neck. Bucky gives his cock a few strokes, before sliding it up and down my folds.

His cock twitching against them.

The harsh usage of my voice was starting to affect my ability to even get any sound out at all.

     Bucky pushes slowly into me and in return, I clawed at his back. Our bodies have no room in between us anymore, my forehead pressed against his shoulder. His pace quickening. His cock stretching my walls and filling my cunt. The size of him never fails to amaze me.

With all I might, I managed to croak out a shocking volume:

“Faster, please Bucky,” He whined at the sound of my raspy plead.

    His thrusts turning into pure pounding at this point. His arms tightly wrapped around my torso. With the support around my back, my head falls back at the feeling of his cock ramming into me.

“You’re doing so good taking my dick,” He peppers kisses around my throat and collarbone.

My nails digging into his skin.

    My moans are loud, and the pain of my throat was masked by the intense pleasure building in my stomach. I couldn’t even think with his cock inside me. My orgasm building as his pace becomes inconsistent. He was close as well.

     I was surprised he lasted this long considering how he went in, already wanting to cum. All that was coming out of my mouth were a mix of curses and moans. His eyes lighting up with every sound that fell from my lips.

“I don’t how much more I can take,” My voice was in shreds, it was painful trying to speak at this point, but I couldn’t conceal them anymore. Not with his current speed and power.

“Cum all over this dick,” With his approval, my walls start pulsating and my forehead falls back against his shoulder. I watched his dick disappear inside me while I cried in pleasure, my legs quivering at the intense pleasure.

     Tears welling as the pain in my throat was becoming too much. Bucky powered through my orgasm, before his cock twitching inside me. His load bursting inside me. Bucky holds us in the same position while we are recovering from our highs. My pussy is milking every last drop of him, whimpering one last time as he pulls out.

   My breathing still heavy and the piercing pain in the back of my mouth becoming more prominent. I lay back against the counter, catching my breath.

“You got so loud, baby, I’m so proud of you,” Bucky coos while grabbing the kitchen towel that I was previously using as a grip.

         He glides the fabric against my cunt, whipping away his cum that was leaking out of me. I twitch with the contact with my clit. He takes my hands and pulls me back up to meet his eyes. I try to speak but wince at the pain shooting through my throat like daggers. His face instantly filling with worry.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have- “He begins to panic, but I grab his wrists,

“It’s okay,” The only volume I could speak in being below a whisper. I hop off the table picking up my discarded clothes, sliding them back on. I bend down, picking up his briefs, and hand them to him.

“It was worth it,” I chuckle. He takes the briefs from me and looks at the abandoned mug.

“I’ll just have to get you more,”

[juriyuki]

VegasPete and Daemi's miscalculated move in crafting Vegas' character development

So I read the new VegasPete chapter through the sad mtl called Google Translate this evening and my blood was boiling through the whole chapter.

However now I've calmed down and thought about what has made me this mad for 2 hours? I finally figured it out.

Personally the main reason why I'm hating the new VegasPete story that much is because Daemi gave us the story of them visiting Pete's grandma and the Christmas special chapter first.

Cuz these two stories, for me, are where Vegas character development reached its peak. We see Vegas as a changed man, the sweet guy who loves Pete above everything. Then, boom! The new chapter came out.

Like if those chapters didn't happened first, and we just read about Vegas waking up from coma, starting a new chapter with Pete and Venice, agreeing with Porsche to take Korn down and then read the new chapter, the disappointment I felt in Vegas won't be this big.

Cuz even if Vegas had profoundly confessed his love for Pete in their final showdown with the main family, I would know he was still the bipolar psychopath at his core and he couldn't completely changed his nature in a blink just because he liked Pete or Pete liked him back.

So I would have seen his actions of the stupid non-con sex (I'm not saying this is acceptable or anything such) or leaving Pete in pool of blood as just, you know, the usual Vegas being Vegas again and hope for his character to regret the actions he took and develop better in the future.

But in reality, because the above mentioned two stories had to be happened first that now I felt more hurt about his actions while reading the new chapter.

So, yeah in conclusion, this is just my rant about how Daemi should haven't given us the changed Vegas first, only to throw away all those character development he had gotten and revert him back to the old shitty one in the new chapter. Vegas can still take down Korn together with Porsche without him needing to be this asshole bastard to Pete.

We want ruthless, unforgiving mafia head Vegas (who is very soft to Pete) with equally badass Pete next to him, trying to get rid of Korn. But, no, we can't just have all these nice things in this world, and instead got this unsexy and stupid non-con shit with Porsche shooting Pete as extra spice, huh? I want to know what's going in Daemi's minds?

Also seriously, learn how BDSM works, Daemi! I'm getting tiredly of Vegas chaining Pete every chance he gets without Pete's consent!

Another thing, can you make Porsche and Vegas to not to get along? Cuz everytime these two work together, they became the walking hazard to everyone around them.

[moved2usagiiboo]

Chifuyu x Hybrid!Reader

⚠️ Warnings⚠️ this story contains explicit description of sexual acts. Viewers discretion is advised. Minors dni

彡❣️Chifuyu and a Cat!Hybrid would be the cutest relationship ever. I do not care.

彡❣️Considering he owns a bet shop he knows exactly how to take care of a cat and because of all the manga he read as a kid, he knows how to love a woman.

彡❣️Don't think it works that way buddy but it's the thought that counts.

彡❣️He's the best owner and boyfriend ever. He grooms you, pets you, gets you all different types of desserts as rewards, cuddles all the time!

彡❣️Sure, at first he was a little awkward. He's never owned a hybrid before much less dated one, it was weird but he loved every minute of it.

彡❣️His favorite thing about you would probably be your tail. It's so soft, he can't help himself. He loves playing with your tail. Especially after a long day at the shop.

彡❣️ Oh! You're a great help at the shop too. It's like you have this intuition about animals, it just helps everything run smoothly.

彡❣️Your guys' domestic life is pretty calm and relaxing, it's peaceful.

彡❣️Except when it's not.

彡❣️Ever since you guys started dating you stopped taking heat suppressant pills. Your body had to get used to the sudden change, considering you just stopped completely. For a while your heat was irregular and random.

彡❣️Good thing you had Chifuyu to help you!

彡❣️It was a telltale sign that your heat was coming when you started to purr really loud, like extremely loud, or you get clingy and super emotional.

彡❣️You'd always want to sit on his lap, his cock resting right under you.

彡❣️You would have to wear something that smells like him, anything.

彡❣️Your eyes would be dilated, completely focused on him as you whine his name over and over.

彡❣️ Slowly grinding your hips against him as you cry his name begging for him to fuck you.

彡❣️ He would instantly give in, fucking you for hours until you were satisfied.

彡❣️ It wasn't always like this, the first time you had your heat was just seven months into your relationship.

彡❣️ You guys were out shopping for some new clothes when you randomly fell down to your knees. Your breath was broken, you would barely say a full sentence.

彡❣️ You remember feeling dizzy, drunken almost. Your head was spinning at a thousand miles per hour and there was nothing you could do about it.

彡❣️ Your body heated up in an instant, drool seeped out the corner of your mouth. Your ears and tail moved without your command.

彡❣️ "H-Hey?! What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

彡❣️ "Fuyu'..."

彡❣️ With one look at your face he knew, he carried you to the car and rushed back home.

彡❣️ He put you in your shared room, telling you to take as long as you needed to feel better.

彡❣️ You tried and tried. Your fingers weren't didn't reach where it needed, the pillow didn't feel good, nothing worked. You couldn't bring yourself to that orgasm you needed. All you could do was cry knowing you'll never be able to get rid of this itching feeling in your core.

彡❣️ Chifuyu heard you crying but refused to do anything about it. It's not like he didn't want to, but he wanted your first time to be special. Not when your judgement was clouded by your animalistic urge to mate, he wanted you to come to him mind free of influence and doubt.

彡❣️ But fuck, why are you moaning so loud. Why are you crying his name, you're making it harder for him to stick to his resolve.

彡❣️ "Fuyu' please, I cant— Need you, please Fuyu'."

彡❣️ Fuck it.

彡❣️ He came into your shared room, only to see your ears dropped down and tail in-between your legs as you desperately tried to finger yourself.

彡❣️ "Need you cock Fuyu'"

彡❣️Followed by a plethora of please and begs came after.

彡❣️ The throbbing pain in his cock tried to convince him to just fuck you right then and there, but he couldn't.

彡❣️ This wasn't the way he wanted to have his first time but he can still make it special and cater to your every need.

彡❣️ "Be a good kitten and spread your legs."

彡❣️ With glossy eyes from the tears you did so, you moved your tail and parted your thighs allowing him to look at your glistening sex.

彡❣️ "So pretty, can I touch you here?"

彡❣️ You nodded begging him to touch you, even going so far as to trying to grab his hand.

彡❣️ "Nu-huh, be patient okay?"

彡❣️ You nodded, you could feel yourself getting wetter from the anticipation of his touch.

彡❣️ He bent down, his knee pressed into the bed as his lips claimed your own.

彡❣️ While he distracted your mouth his own he took the time to explore the outer region of your cunt, a two fingers dragging down each lip. Till his fingers met your slick slit, his fingers dragged up your slit grazing your clit with his digits.

彡❣️ You arched your back into his touch. All you could think about was more, you wanted more of his mouth on yours. More of his fingers, everything.

彡❣️ He broke the kiss to focus on your dripping sex. You were dripping, honestly prep wasn't needed but he wanted to make you cum with just his fingers alone.

彡❣️ He pushed two of his digits inside of you, starting off slow while he kissed your thigh leaving bite marks on the plush skin.

彡❣️ "Fuyu~"

彡❣️ "I know kitten."

彡❣️ Kitten, he'd often call you it as a play on you being a hybrid. Never once did it sound so sexual till now.

彡❣️ His fingers curled inside you, hitting the spot that had you creaming on his fingers in an instant. Due to being in heat you were more sensitive than usual, even the smallest touch could have you squirting in an instant.

彡❣️ Despite you cumming once, he never stopped. He picked up the pace, his fingers moving after inside your sloppy cunt.

彡❣️ You were shamelessly grinding against his fingers moaning his name. Your tail was wrapped around your waist keeping it out of his way so he can continue the assault on your gummy velvet walls.

彡❣️ You cried for more as you felt another orgasm come near, he obliged. His fingers now moving at a ruthless place as they continuously hit that same spot over and over without mercy.

彡❣️ "Good girl, go on. Cum again for me."

彡❣️ And you did, your juices dripped down his fingers into his hand.

彡❣️ "Such a messy pet."

彡❣️ "M'sorry, more please.."

彡❣️ He put his fingers in his mouth tasting you, and he felt like he was on cloud nine from taste of you.

彡❣️ Pleads came form your mouth begging him to hurry up, you just couldn't take it anymore. You needed to feel him inside, more tears dripped from your eyes as you repeatedly begged him.

彡❣️ "Okay, Okay, I'm hurrying."

彡❣️ Stripping himself from all articles of clothing he stroked his cock just to solidify the hardness before he gave you what you asked for.

彡❣️ It was hours of him mercilessly pounding your tight cunt over and over. 

彡❣️ His length reaching those places you couldn’t, his cock kissing your G-spot with every thrust as you mewled his name.

彡❣️ Plethora of praises left his mouth in a gruff tone through his pants.

彡❣️ They just went straight to your cunt, with every praise you would subconsciously squeeze around him. You’d earn a hiss from him every-time. 

彡❣️ You can’t remember how many times you released your juices on his cock or how many times you begged him to keep fucking his cum into you. 

彡❣️ Your head was spinning, eyes crossed, and tongue lulled out. You saw stars each time he’d slap his body against yours.

彡❣️ Kisses littered your body as he called you his “pretty kitty”. Promising to fill you up real nice. 

彡❣️ He’d kiss and bite your tail or ear, whichever looked better at the moment which sent a jolt through your body.

彡❣️ He was attentive to your sensitive nub as well, rubbing circles that matched the pace of his thrusts. 

彡❣️ He was close once again and you were too. The way your walls pulsated against him told him everything he needed to know.

彡❣️ Talking you through your nth orgasm.

彡❣️ “That’s it baby, you feel it coming don’t you? Fuck- Go ahead, cream my cock princess.”

彡❣️ “Your pussy is so greedy, you just came but it won’t stop sucking me in.”

彡❣️ “Fuck, fuck, fuck, gonna cum in this tight cunt again.”

[barcaavengers]

Weakness || Bucky Barnes Imagine || Pt. 1

Note: I just had to jump in the Bucky Barnes train after watching TFATWS and with Sebastian looking like that it gave me much needed muse to get back into writing. So Here it is! I feel like this is fast paced but I'm already working on the second part. Let's see how this goes. This goes from Episode 3 and transitions to Episode 4 at the end so consider some spoilers? As always, let me know your thoughts and I'm open to ideas!

Disclaimer: Gif not mine.

The idea of going to see Zemo to get any leads wasn't something you were particularly fond of when Bucky decided to go in there by himself. Yes, you trusted the soldier, but it was Zemo who you didn't trust. He was responsible for the break up of the Avengers. If it wouldn't have been for those events you would have all been together to defeat Thanos.

Your combat skills were what gave you the spot in the Avengers. You didn't have a serum, or superpowers, no tech to give you advantage, you were just really good with guns, strategies and tactics, learned to think outside the box.

You know everything is about to go to hell when Bucky takes you and Sam to a warehouse filled with cars and starts talking about breaking Zemo out of jail.

"Do you remember what that man did to all of us? To you? To T'Chaka?" You ask between Bucky and Sam who were looking at each other, that was until the squeak of the warehouse house doors interrupted. The three of you turn to look as a shadow got closer until…

"What the hell?! You said it was hypothetical! What is he doing out, Barnes!?" You snarl and take two quick steps towards Zemo.

"We need him, Y/N!" Bucky blocks your path.

"You are going back to prison!" Sam shouts, Bucky putting his hand on Sam's chest.

"If I may…"

"No!" The three of you shout, looking at Zemo before turning to each other.

"It's the only way! We can't do this alone!" Bucky states. "When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you two backed him. You broke the law and stuck your neck out for me… I'm asking you to do it again."

"This is different! It was to protect you from him but now you are asking us to work with his ass after everything?" You question. You would do it in a heart beat because he was asking for it, but the thought of being crossed by someone like Zemo was what had you on edge.

Sam only sighed and you knew, yet again, he would go through with Bucky's plan. "Okay. If we do this, you won't make a move without our permission…" Sam says and your eyes close as you let out a huff.

You are all walking down the bridge once you get escorted to the city of Madripoor, Low Town specifically. "You need to stay in character, no matter what happens" Zemo says.

"The assistant, shouldn't be that hard" you say with a roll of your eyes.

"Anyone would love such role, Y/N. I would prefer if your dislike didn't show when we get there" he says. "It is the only way to explain why we brought a lady along to such dangerous business."

"I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, but thanks for your concern. That's sweet coming from someone like you" you say and you can spot Zemo smiling from your spot behind him.

"You okay?" Bucky asks once he falls behind you, looking at the surroundings and taking everything in.

"I'm not thrilled about this, but I guess we have no choice" you say as you look around, then your eyes fall on his frame. "What about you?"

"I don't know anymore…" he says before you all get inside the club.

Everyone fell silent when Bucky walked in, watching him, wondering if it really was the Winter Soldier. You have never been in the same space with Bucky in public, so the whispers and the looks had you feeling a kind of way, almost defensive, but you had to keep your role and give smiles to strangers while you walked with Zemo with your arms linked. You look around the place, leaning against the counter, hiding back a smirk as Sam drinks whatever the hell they just put in on his 'usual' drink.

"Zemo might not be welcomed here, but his assistant can stay as long as she wants" a man says into your ear and you are quick to move away.

"Excuse me?" You eye the man on your side.

"What's your name pretty face? I can get you a better job than being an assistant" the man reaches to push your hair away from your face, letting his hand linger on your shoulder and your body tenses. Sam meets your eyes and slowly shakes his head, knowing you were about to break character and beat the hell out of this man. Zemo noticed, but kept a neutral expression.

"If he doesn't take his hand off you…" You hear Bucky murmur under his breath. You gesture with your hand at him carefully to not give anything up, just raising two fingers towards him.

"Who says I want a better job?" You smirk and reach for your drink, sipping on it on one go.

Zemo turns to look at Bucky, and you have heard the words Winter Soldier in Romanian enough times to know them, so when Zemo speaks them and Bucky nods, your heart stops. He is swift in his moves and in a blur he is gripping and twisting the hand of the man that was bothering you. He looks back at you as he shoves the man away, your eyes meet for a moment before it all starts. Men from left and right start throwing themselves to him, like if they stood a chance against the Winter Soldier. Seeing him like this sent chills down your spine. Quick, agile, ruthless. His moves were so calculated, so life ending. The Winter Soldier might be gone but his skills and moves were there alright, you only hoped it was just that.

"It didn't take much for him to fall back into form" Zemo says on your side almost as if he read your thoughts.

"Make it stop, Zemo or I swear I'll jump in the fight…" you snarl.

"Stay in character or the whole place will be upon us" Zemo says and you let out a huff. "Your soldier will be fine. It's all part of the show…"

"He is not my soldier…" your eyes couldn't get away from Bucky, who now had a man pinned on the table and that's when you hear the clicking of a gun.

Things take a bad turn real quick. Sam got caught in his character thanks to a phone call. Selby got killed and now there was a bounty for her killers who were apparently the four of you, then Sharon saved your assess and took you to her place. You were getting ready for the party, something comfortable to fight should it be needed. Bucky leans against the bathroom frame while you curl your hair, "You know that will go away soon though, right? When you pick on the next fight."

"If it lasts me two minutes it would be worth it" you say with a smirk as you look at him through the mirror, placing the iron on the counter you turn to look at him, he offers you a weak smile. "Well you look handsome" you say as you eye him. The black suit looked so good on him, and it just made his blue eyes stand out.

"You look... beautiful" he blinks as he eyes you, his hands falling into his pockets.

"Well thank you" your cheeks flush. After a few seconds, your gaze softens when you feel he is...off. "Are you okay, Buck? I know that what you did back there..." you trail off.

"I'm fine. Its just… I'm still processing..." he shrugs.

"You shouldn't have gone through with the plan. We could've found another way…"

"We didn't have time to find another way. Zemo knew that way would give us the information we needed" he says.

"I still don't like that he is using you like this..." you say with a frown.

He remains silent for a moment, wetting his lips before speaking. "Y/N, I know we-"

"You two done?" Sam interrupts and James takes an annoyed intake of breath, your gaze drops.

"Yeah" James walks away without a look back and you chew on your lower lip.

"Did I interrupt something?" Sam says with a smug smile.

"Get out" You walk out of the bathroom and Sam throws his arm around you, laughing.

"You two were having a moment there, weren't you?" Sam teases as you walk, poking on your shoulder. "Listen, you gotta do this smoothly. He is all rusty. He hasn't had a date in like 70 years."

"He probably wants to be by himself to finish that notebook, and right now nothing can distract us" you frown.

"You distract each other already" Sam says between laughs. "One of you will be in danger and the other will run and save the other."

"That's what I mean. Zemo said it earlier, the Winter Soldier has a reputation. If he has to keep playing the part, I'll be trying to stop him even more than I already do. I can't blow off the mission because of whatever this is..."

"Alright, you got a point, but talk to him, alright? If you want, take him out of the party and work it out" Sam pats your back as you walk out to the living room area.

"Looking sharp, Y/N" Sharon says with a grin once you come out and you twirl with a laugh. "Enjoy the party. Stay out of trouble, I'll see what I can find."

"Shall we then?" Zemo asks, holding his arm out to you.

"Let's go" you link your arm with his, just to play along. After this time with Zemo you figured out you might as well enjoy yourself, there was still a long way ahead before getting rid of him again. He didn't seem so bad since he broke out, you still didn't trust him though.

Once at the party, you stick around with Zemo. Sam and Bucky are somewhere around the lounge surveying the place, you all still had a bounty on your heads anyway. Meanwhile you are with Zemo, who was making some moves that had you giggling and laughing. He took your hand and started going around you before letting go and you grin. "Should've known you were this fun I would've helped breaking you out" you tease over the music.

"Didn't had a chance" Zemo says and smiles as he claps while letting the music move him. He eyes something behind you before looking back at you. "Your soldier can't seem to stop looking at you" you want to turn around, but you decided against it.

"He is not my soldier…" you say. "He is just watching out for us. We have prices on our heads remember?" You tap your head as you say the words. "And you have him acting as our bodyguard."

"I know your hatred was fueled when I had him act in such way, and I do apologize for such plan but it was the only way" he says. "You would know if you understood how things realistically move" he says.

"Apology accepted" you say. Zemo takes your hand and twirls you, and you catch a glimpse of Bucky walking towards the two of you.

"I believe we have company" Zemo says into your ear. "You know where to find me" he says and walks out and into the crowd with his own, awkward dancing pace. You giggle at it before turning around and finding Bucky close.

His shoulders were tense under that black suit that made him look so good, and his scowl was too obvious. "Having fun with Zemo?" He asks, everyone around you was moving to the music, except him who only looked to where Zemo had disappeared to, his tongue poking in annoyance at his cheek.

"Just wanted to get to know him a bit more. Is not an everyday thing we hang with a Most Wanted prisoner" you say with a shrug. "Who you broke out of jail may I add."

"I didn't do anything" he says and his gaze averts from yours.

"For being one hundred and six you are an awful liar, Buck" you smirk, but he doesn't say anything. His hands are tucked in his pockets, eyeing everything but you. "Relax. Enjoy the music."

"This isn't my type of music" he says coldly and looks around the place once again.

"Fine…" you stop on your moves. Might as well take Sam's suggestion, plus you could see this scenario and the music was too much for him. "Come on, let's go back upstairs and talk" you hold your hand out for him and he looks at it, he hesitates before his glove covered hand wraps around yours and you lead the way.

"I told you, I'll be fine" he sighs as he sits down on the couch, you sit right beside him.

"Bullshit, Barnes" you say as you drop down. "When you were fighting those people…"

"It was just an act…I'm not a killer anymore..."

"I know, Buck" you reach to put your hand on his knee, which he eyes before looking at you. "But you didn't go to therapy to get over this only to be pulled again for a show. This isn't right."

"I'm okay, I promise…" he trails off. "I'm just getting used to all of this" his hand covers yours, sending electricity through your nerves.

"I promised Steve I would look out for you to not do anything stupid," you smile at him "I am not a super soldier or have any powers, but if I can help. I will do what I can…" you admit to him. His blue eyes look into yours and your heart stops it's beating for a second.

You hold his gaze and shift your position on the couch, your leg was already falling asleep since it was under you. "I-" he pauses and you can see his mind wondering, thinking, calculating. Sam was right, you could almost see the gears turning.

"Talk to me. I know you have something to say" you smirk.

"I guess that what I'm trying to say is, I am glad that you are with me in this mission even after everything-"

"Don't. Please…" you were sure he was going to bring up that one time where Sam, Steve and Natasha, as well as yourself, were attacked by him while trying to get a hold of Hydra. It was the first time you had seen him, you didn't know him, but you feared him. You are a mere human and he is a super soldier, the most dangerous soldier for the past years. He had tried to kill you back then one way or another, guns, knives, grenades, but somehow you survived.

Then you met him when Cap and Sam went after him, seeing him act like a normal person triggered something in you. How could someone like him turn into someone so dangerous? The time you spent watching after him, and fighting alongside the team had warmed your heart towards him to the point you admitted to yourself you caught feelings for him. How could you not? You were the only person to go to Wakanda to see him after he was freed, and it will be an understatement that you cried your eyes out when he told you the words. That was when the two of you started having a connection.

"You okay?" His voice echoes and you realize you had zoned out.

"Yeah. Sorry I was just thinking of…" he eyes you curiously, those steel blue eyes had you going weak. You inch closer and you feel him move, his head siding in a way that all you had to do was… "I'm so sorry for this, Buck-"

"What are you apolog-" and your lips muffle his words when you press them against his. You hated this. Losing your control the second you are alone with him. This wasn't right, but it felt unbelievably nice. His lips don't move, so to save yourself more embarrassment you pull away and duck your head to avoid his gaze, hoping that your hair is covering the redness of your cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that…" you pull your hand away from under his, daring to look up at him. "We should go back to the-"

This time, he interrupts you. His flesh hand moving in a blur to the back of your head to bring you in for another kiss. His lips were rough on yours even when they parted slowly, but what did you expect? For him to be the womanizer Steve once told you he was? That now that he was free he would be kissing any girl? You let out a sigh of relief through your nostrils before pulling away.

"Did I do something wrong?" His eyes were soft with worry as he tried to meet yours.

"No. Gosh no" you bite your lip. "Don't apologize...I just lost myself there…" you giggle and he smiles weakly. You move forward again but stop, looking into his hues for approval before you lean in again slowly and his lips capture yours. He dares to part his lips and you tilt your head slightly, so does his, deepening the kiss only slightly.

"Y/N? Are you- Sweet Jesus!" Sam voices echoes through your ears and Bucky quickly pushes you away lightly, but enough to have you away from him.

"Sam. I-" You try to explain.

"Nuh-uh. I saw enough to know what was going on."

"Any leads?" Bucky asks, trying to divert the attention, standing up now.

"Sharon found him" Sam says. "Let's go, and no PDA while I'm around, okay?"

"When all of this is over-" Bucky starts as you two walk down the containers, Sam, Sharon and Zemo a few feet ahead.

"I shouldn't have done that" you insist. "My timing was off.."

"You make it sound like it was wrong when it wasn't" he pulls out his gun and so do you.

"It was" you nod your head as you walk. He reaches for your hand, looks at the group in front of you before he pulls you to the side behind a container, your body between the two.

"I have wanted what happened more than you know" he is soft in his words and his eyes divert to your lips for a moment. "I just...I have a past, Y/N..."

"A past you are free from now, Bucky" you point out. "You are not The Winter Soldier anymore. You have grown from that ever since Wakanda…" you assure him. "I'm not even asking you to accept it to start something because I know its way too soon-"

"You don't understand" he slowly backs away from you.

"You don't trust yourself entirely yet, do you?" His eyes avoiding your gaze made you frown. "I knew that this would have consequences. I'm going to talk to Zemo."

"Y/N, wait" he catches your arm as you turn and he brings you close. "We can't trust Zemo. You know that…" he says. "I am not sure how to explain it, but-"

That's when it hit you. "You don't want him to know we are each other's weakness…" you voice and his head nods slowly as he swallows.

"That's why we need to sort this out, but later, not during this…"

"Y/N?" Sam calls out and you frown.

"On it!" You whisper shout back.

"Be careful. I'll go in with Sam…You stay with Sharon…" he says and your head nods.

*****

"Walker I swear if you don't shut up I'll make you swallow that shield" your arms were crossed, leaning against the wall behind Bucky who was guarding the stairs. Zemo was cuffed, Sam was inside talking with Karli, Walker and Hoskins had found their way to you and now were here.

"Easy there. I'm just worried about your partner being in there by himself" he says and you notice the glare the Sargeant gives him.

"You have been messing this whole operation the moment you got here" you spat.

"Aren't you worried about Sam back there?"

"He can handle himself. He is doing what is right, unlike others" you eye him up and down and his whole face darkens, taking a step forward and you take a defiant one as well.

"Think carefully what you will do next, Walker" Bucky puts his hand on his chest.

"Let him. I can kick his ass and take that shield off his hands in a heartbeat…" you hiss.

"This is all easy for you, isn't it? All that serum rushin' through your veins. You let your partner in there with a Super Soldier, that blood will be on your hands if things get dirty in there…" Walker says to Bucky. How dare he!?

For a moment, you ponder on his words and you can't stand the thought of Sam being in there getting beaten by Super Soldiers while Walker could be right. You didn't want him to be. What if they took him? What if…?

"Buck…" you put your hand on his bicep and he looks at you, knowing very well what you wanted to do.

Of course, Walker wasn't very good with entrances since he literally waltzed in calling Karli and saying she was under arrest. Super Soldiers showed up everywhere and your eyes widened. Karli pushes Walker and then storms off running.

"Karli!" You call and look at Sam.

"Go! We got this!"

Your head nods, eyes shift to look at Bucky who was fighting a Super Soldier off before you storm to the direction Karli headed to. You see her walking down the corridor, not too far from you. "Karli, wait! This is not what it looks like!" Karli says and she stops in her tracks, looking back at you.

"It is exactly what it looks like! You are working for Captain America!"

"What? No! We hate the guy!" You admit bluntly, honesty can get you places after all, and at least she stopped. "We just want to work this out. There has to be a better way to fight for what you want, Karli…" you say and get closer.

"Yeah. There is...But first, you will help us deliver a message before we trust you again" your head tilts to the side curiously when you feel arms around you and you feel a pinch on your neck. Your eyelids feel heavy all of a sudden until you can't hold them open any longer.

-Bucky's POV-

After fighting some of the Flag Smashers off he meets with Sam, Walker and Hoskins in the middle of the building.

"We lost them" Hoskins says as he looked around.

"You made us loose them! I had everything under control until you stepped in!" Sam complained.

"Where is Y/N?" Bucky asks as he looks around.

"She went after Karli. I haven't seen her since..." Sam says, his phone goes off and Bucky is quick to move close to him as he opens the message. "They got Y/N…" Sam's brown eyes shift to look at Bucky who was clenching his jaw yet his eyes showed how worried he was, and mad for letting you go after Karli alone.

"That's it." Bucky turns on his heels and started walking the other direction.

"Bucky!" Sam calls but it didn't get the man's attention. "Bucky!"

[nightwingshero]

“Stay for a little longer…”. whatever characters you want :3

I'm so sorry this took so long!!! I've been kinda...getting back into the swing of things. So, this might be Not Great, but here yah go! Thought it was about time to bring them back, yeah?

There were plenty of times when I had woken up in the middle of the night, or afternoon, full of regret. Enough to ensure my blue green eyes never met the mirror as I did what I could to clean up the evidence from the night before. For the longest time, the routine was the same: brush my teeth to get rid of the alcohol and vomit from my breath, splashing my face with cold water and using a rag to wash it the best I could with the black smears below my eyes, and throwing my hair up the best I could before tossing the empty bottles in the trash. Needless to say, some mornings were better than others.

And after being in Hope County for so long, it was safe to assume that I had definitely had better.

Whether that meant sleeping in my Jeep as I camped out with my rifle beside me, crashing on a couch at an ally’s or an abandoned home, knife safely tucked under my pillow, I would wake up with the memories of how my mornings used to go. While those were filled with guilt, anger, and some shame, these were filled with exhaustion, hopelessness, and more anger. And somehow, I would still walk out with my head high, not one of those emotions every apparent as I went about doing what I had to do. Part of me knew Rowan suspected, or that she probably understood, but if she did, she never said a word. Her perfect training helped her keep that sharp, collected mindset while I just stuffed everything down as far as it would go, just to ignore it for a while only for it to come back the second I had time to think. That’s when the alcohol started to come into play and becoming dependent on it again wasn’t my finest moment—no matter how much shit I was going through.

That, of course, held no flame to the new, more horrid vice I had developed.

By my estimation, with how dark and quiet it had been, it was about three or four in the morning when my eyes shot open. The usual lumpy couches or too hard back seat of my Jeep were replaced with one of the softest beds I had ever encountered, not including the Egyptian cotton sheets that clung to bare skin as I laid on my stomach with my face in his pillows. Two hours. I had been asleep for at least two hours. Turning my head, I could see he was still fast asleep on his back, his face turned away from me as his arm rested against his chest. The moon slipping in made the earring in his ear glint mockingly and I glared as my fingers itched to rip it out and stain the sheets red. Instead, I clenched my teeth as a wave of all those emotions hit me. Guilt and shame ate at me as I slowly pushed myself up to a sitting position to try and make sense of the clothes that were carelessly strewn around the room—his expensive tastes more than compensating for the small town he was forced to come to.

I was more than willing to inform him he could leave at any time for the city he had given up for this.

That would have been just as useless as the other words I had spewed to him before—ruthless, venomous, wrathful words of distaste and contempt aimed at his smirking, yet annoyed, face. Whatever I had thrown at him, he would twist and throw right back to the point that we constantly pushed and pulled without either of us giving away any ground to the other. Part of me wondered what would have happened that fateful night if I had one of my actual knives against his throat, instead of the blunt weapon my inebriated brain didn’t register as useless as it should have been. Another way a vice had me more of a disappointment this last month or so. Out of the monsters that I had, the demons I dealt with, I was thankful that that was the monster they had become aware of instead of the one that slept beside me. No, that was a vice I would keep locked away with the rest of the skeletons that laid in the closet.

I swallowed as my legs shifted and hung off the edge of his bed, my feet caressing the cold, hardwood floor. That was what I blamed the shiver on that ran up my spine as he moved behind me, sighing as he did so. My jaw clenched and my fingers bunched the sheets as I fisted them. This was the last time. The very last time. I repeated the words over and over in my head, a mantra to give me courage to collect what little dignity I had left to gather my clothes and to ignore the dull throb between my legs—the sensation that helped me forget about everything and everyone else. The words echoed in my mind, concreting along my spine to ensure I didn’t bend, even though they were the same words I had said to myself when I had done the same exact thing just the week before. Sweet white lies whispered off red, lightly bruised lips, promising me forgiveness and in the same breath, reminding me of damnation every time I found myself walking that same path to his Ranch.

As I go to finally stand from the bed, to finally run and escape from the mistake I had made yet again, something clasps around my wrist, and I hesitate. A few seconds tick by and I’m forced to try and swallow, though my mouth is thoroughly dry. His tattooed hand was firmly gripping my wrist, but it wasn’t enough to hurt, just kept me from leaving the bed. Finally, I glanced at him as he stared, his blue eyes clear even though his body language screamed that he was tired and ready to fall right back to sleep. That didn’t stop the smirk spreading across his face.

“Leaving so soon, deputy?”

And just like that, my dry mouth was gone, and left was the tongue that had been sharpened over cruel years. “Well, I’m not going to wait for one of your followers to put a bullet in my head.” I sneered, my words harsh and dripping with that wrath he loved to preach about. My hand, however, didn’t move from his.

John considered for a moment as he laid there, not eager to rise as he laid his head on the other arm, folded on his pillow as if he had no care in the world. All things considered, it seemed fitting. His eyes danced as he finally spoke after a moment. “Stay for a while…” he all but purred to me. Perhaps if I hadn’t known better, hadn’t heard the way his words could so easily feel with passion and emotion and promise to convince others to his cause, to his side—all while Joey’s screams sounded over that voice in their radios. Yes, perhaps if I didn’t know, I would have been convinced, would have listened and slipped back within the covers. But I did know, and the guilt wouldn’t let me forget it.

So I stood, pulling myself from his grasp, and quickly reached for my jeans before slipping them on. “I’m not staying. This is done.”

“For now. Until you come back.”

I glared at him as I pulled my black tank top over my head. “I’m done with your fucking games. The next time I see you, I will kill you.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he spied how my fingers shook despite the strong words that I had just fed him. The idea of doing exactly that, pulling a gun and having to take that shot, it churned something in my stomach that I couldn’t quite place, but the urge to throw up was there at the back of my mind. It was hard to tell whether my words were a promise or a warning.

There was shifting as I sat back down on the bed, working fast to pull my boots back on when that hand found my arm, squeezing a bit. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have said it was a tender gesture. But I did know better, I knew that hand had blood drenched on it. I had seen it. My jaw worked as he shifted, finally sitting up as he spoke lowly. “Stay. Just for the night. Own your sin—”

“I’m gone. For good. And your Chosen have targets on their backs.” I replied as I stood, leaving his grasp once more. It was hard to ignore the ache in my chest as I walked across the room and slipped out the door. It was worse when my throat burned, the further I went, the worse it grew. That urge to turn right back around, and return had grown to the point that I couldn’t even fathom, and I knew deep down that if I returned, I wouldn’t leave the next time. And as my boots stomped through the grass, I caught the eyes of his right hand as he leaned against the fence and scratched at his beard, and deep down, I knew he knew, too. The man never once held up a gun to me on these little visits, just read from the journal he held as he kept watch, and while he saw everything, I not once felt judged. But this time, as I passed him, I could feel the warning. Could feel the threat as the hairs rose on the back of my neck. As if he had heard me, and perhaps he did. John had a habit of sleeping with the windows open and this was someone I found out was far more observant than his own good. But as I retreated, slipping back into the night to return to the Jeep I left on the side of the road, the Chosen watched carefully, and I wondered if maybe he would be the next one that I would shoot down or if perhaps he’d be the one to finally take me down.

Randy said nothing as he returned to his journal just as I stepped foot into the field, fully disappearing from his view.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Red (Taylor's Version) (Part I)

STATE OF GRACE

"All we know is touch and go."

"We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds."

"I never saw you comin'."

"I'll never be the same."

"You come around and the armor falls."

"All we know is don’t let go."

"We are alone."

"You were never a saint."

"We learn to live with the pain."

"This love is brave and wild."

"This is a state of grace."

"This is the worthwhile fight."

"Love is a ruthless game."

"This is the golden age of something good and right and real."

RED

"Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street."

"Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall."

"Losing him was blue like I'd never known."

"Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met."

"Loving him was red."

"Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you."

"Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song."

"Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer."

"Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong."

"Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes."

"It's time now, gotta let go."

"Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head."

TREACHEROUS

"Put your lips close to mine."

"I'll do anything you say."

"I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand."

"This slope is treacherous."

"This path is reckless."

"I like it."

"I can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away."

"All we are is skin and bone, trained to get along."

"I will get you alone."

"Your name has echoed through my mind."

I just think you should know."

"Nothing safe is worth the drive."

"I'll follow you home."

"This hope is treacherous."

"This daydream is dangerous."

I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE

"You found me."

"I guess you didn't care."

"I guess I liked that."

"He's long gone when he's next to me."

"I realize the blame is on me."

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in."

"Shame on me now."

"Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground."

"No apologies, he'll never see you cry."

"Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why you're drowning."

"I heard you moved on from whispers on the street."

"A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be."

"He was long gone when he met me."

"I realize the joke is on me."

"The saddest fear comes creeping in."

"You never loved me, or her, or anyone, or anything."

ALL TOO WELL

"Something 'bout it felt like home somehow."

"I left my scarf there at your sister's house."

"You've still got it in your drawer, even now."

"Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place."

"I can picture it after all these days."

"I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more."

"I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all."

"You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me."

"I remember it all too well."

"Your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team."

"You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me."

"There was nothing else I could do."

"I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to."

"We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light."

"Maybe we got lost in translation."

"Maybe I asked for too much."

"Maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up."

"You call me up again just to break me like a promise."

"So casually cruel in the name of being honest."

"I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here."

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it."

"I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it."

"You can't get rid of it."

"You remember it all too well."

"There we are again when I loved you so."

"Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known."

"It was rare, I was there."

[fanfic-she-wrote]

Imagine being the reincarnation of Dracula's long lost love: part 10

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Dracula helped you out of the coffin and held you close in his arms, not wanting to ever let you go again.

"Vlad, I was so scared." You told him, pressing your face into his chest.

"Me too." He said, stroking your hair. So he was right after all. You were Maria. You had finally come back to him at last.

You still felt weak and held on to Dracula for support. Not only did you feel weak, but you felt... different. You didn't know what it was, but it was like all your senses were maxed out. It was so overwhelming. There was also this new scent that you discovered. It smelled delicious, but what was it? You wondered looking around trying to find the source.

"What did you mean that you remember everything?" Van Helsing asked, concerned for you.

You faced him, realizing just where that smell was coming from. Your eyes shined bright red, an intense hunger in them...hunger for blood. Normally you would have been repelled by such a thing, but right now you needed it more than ever. Van Helsing watched you nervously as you inched toward him.

"Y/N?" He said nervously backing away, but you did not answer. All you could think about was his blood, the taste of it on your lips. Dracula noticing your odd behavior, grabbed you by your shoulders and held you back. Why? He did not know. He had wanted to kill Van Helsing himself earlier. Perhaps he was trying to prevent you from doing something you would regret.

You squirmed, trying to wriggle free, but Dracula held you firmly in place. "Let me go!" You hissed at him, revealing for the first time your fresh new set of fangs. Van Helsing stared at you wide eyed. What had he done? You were no longer the sweet, brave, and kind Y/N, you were now a monster. He should never have let Dracula turn you. But then you would be dead...looking at you now, maybe it would have been better that way. He just lost it in a moment of grief.

"Calm down, darling." Dracula spoke in a soft voice, trying to soothe you. "You will feed soon, I promise."

Van Helsing glanced up at him. "What do you mean?" 

"She is in a very crucial time right now. She needs to feed." Dracula urgently explained to him.

"So what will you do, go kill another innocent person?" He asked, raising his voice.

"We have no choice."

Van Helsing sighed. "Then she can have some of mine."

"That is not necessary, Doctor Van Helsing." He refused.

"Yes it is. I won't have you or her killing anyone else. I'll run into town and get my supplies. I'll be back soon." He said, buttoning up his coat, turning to leave.

"Henry, take the coach if it's still there and take him home." Dracula ordered. Henry nodded and promptly followed Van Helsing out.

A few minutes later the tapping of horseshoes against the ground could be heard as they disappeared into the night leaving you and Dracula alone. You closed your eyes and let out a long sigh, then looked up at him.

"Is that what it's like for you all the time?" You asked, now realizing how difficult life was for him. How tempting it was to feed on human blood. Even now with no mortals around, you desired it. Dracula simply nodded. "It's horrible...I can't believe I wanted to...to..." You winced at the thought of hurting, maybe even killing Lawrence. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and held you close.

"Come, let's wait for them upstairs." Dracula said, guiding you from the dungeons and up the stairs. When you reached the entry hall your mouth fell open in shock. This was the first time you had seen the castle in ruins. You felt a very intense anger. How dare the townspeople do this to your home, to Dracula's home!

"What do we do Vlad?" You ask, looking around. He squeezed your shoulder and replied, "We'll find some place else. Anywhere is home as long as I have you."

As you waited for Van Helsing to return, your mind wandered. You thought about how strange fate was. In your previous life you were married to Dracula and Van Helsing was his power hungry step-brother who killed you. In this life you were Van Helsing's friend who ultimately reunited you with your lover.

"What's wrong?" Dracula asked, noticing how quiet you had become.

"I was just thinking. What happened after...after I died all those years ago?" You asked. Dracula knew this question was inevitable now.

"Well, Van Helsing fled and joined the Turks. Soon after, we went to war and I was killed during one of the battles. As I lay there dying from my wounds, the devil appeared to me. I sold my soul and in return I would have my revenge on the Van Helsings." He told you.

"That's when you became one of the living dead?" You asked. He nodded. "But Lawrence doesn't know about any of that. He told me he wanted to get rid of you because he thought you were a threat to humanity."

"He's right. I am." He admitted. "I didn't care how many lives I took. How much blood I spilled. None of them mattered as long as I didn't have you. I was just as ruthless in life as I am in death."

"And now?"

He paused for a moment, thinking. "I don't know..."

Suddenly, from out of the wreckage you heard some rustling followed by a series of painful moans. Dracula pushed you behind him ready to attack whatever it was. From beneath the debris, a man crawled out. He was covered in dirt and blood, the smell instantly flooded your nostrils. "H-help me..." The man pleaded as he slowly pulled himself across the floor. Dracula looked over at you and saw the hunger return in your eyes and how you licked your lips, desperate for just a little taste. He didn't want to admit how turned on he was by this. He smiled and stepped aside, letting you pass. He wasn't about to let you miss out on your first meal.

Your eyes were fixed on the man before you, like a predator staring down it's prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

"I'll help you." You lied, your voice sounding menacing.

"Oh, thank you I-" He peered up at you and saw what you had become and let out a blood curdling scream. "Nonnnoo! Please!" He cried, cowering away, but you didn't hear him. You were focused on one thing. You grabbed him by his collar and lifted him off the ground making him eye-level with you. You hesitated for a moment. You knew you shouldnt. That this was bad, but he did try to kill you and your love after all. He deserved it. Your mouth was practically watering as the sound of his pulse pounded against your eardrums. Dracula stood behind you and whispered in your ear, "Do it." Before the man could utter another plea for mercy, you sunk your fangs deep into his neck. His blood dripped down your lips and chin as you sucked every last drop from his body. Dracula wanted you now more than ever. You moaned and threw your head back enjoying the taste of blood as it ran down your throat. Once you were finished, you tossed the corpse back into the rubble he crawled out of.

"How do you feel now?" Dracula asked, eyeing you lustfully. You grinned at him. "Much better, darling." You answered in a husky voice, running your finger under his chin. Unable to resist you a moment longer, he twirled you around and pressed you flush against him. Leaning down he licked some of the blood from your lips, then he roughly pressed his mouth on yours. He could still taste the blood as he slipped his tongue inside. It drove him mad. You couldn't help but let out a moan when he suddenly nipped your bottom lip as he pulled away. You both stared longingly into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity.

You went to kiss him again, but were interupted when Henry and Van Helsing returned.

"Y/N! What have you done?!" He exclaimed noticing the fresh blood around your lips, running towards you. He looked down at the man's lifeless body, a horrified expression on his face. "You killed him..."

"What of it?" Dracula sneered.

"Don't you understand? She killed an innocent man!" He yelled.

"He wasn't so innocent when he tried to kill us." You quickly pointed out.

"Y/N, why? I thought you were better than this." 

"I guess I'm not who you thought I was." You said coldly. Van Helsing felt his heart break again at how much you changed. He wanted to take you far away from here, far away from Dracula. To try to find a way to get his Y/N back. He'd rather you be dead than live out eternity like this...Van Helsing sighed. He had no other choice. He had to kill you and Dracula before it was too late.

"I guess not." He agreed. "There's nothing more I can do if this is the life you've chosen. I'm leaving for London tomorrow." Dracula eyed him suspiciously. Was he really willing to just leave you alone? To just ignore the fact that you might kill again. Did he really care for you that much?

"Will I ever see you again?" You asked, still wishing to remain friends. Even though his ancestor had murdered you in your past life you didn't hold it against Lawrence. He was different.

"No, I don't think so." He replied, looking away.

"I'm sorry to hear that." You said sadly, but you understood.

"I am as well." Van Helsing said. You pulled away from Dracula and went over to your friend, pulling him into a hug. Why did you have to do that? He thought. It only made things more difficult for him. He knew the real you was still in there somewhere, but the vampire took her place leaving a shell of what you once were. You placed a quick peck on his cheek and backed away.

"Goodbye, Y/N." He said, knowing that this was the last time he was going to see you alive, knowing that when the sun came up it was up to him to end your damned existence. He turned and left without another word.

Dracula felt your distress and wrapped you in his arms in a comforting embrace. It was getting close to dawn now. He needed to find you a coffin before daylight broke. So, after he knew you were alright he left with Henry to the local cemetery to find you a coffin.

You wandered the castle ruins thinking about Lawrence. He had been your only friend in the world till now. No one else had stopped to give you a second thought, but he did. He was there for you when no one else was. At one point before you came to Transylvania, you thought you loved him, but he was too involved in his work. His work was his ultimate passion, and you knew you couldn't compete, so you never did. You sometimes wondered what it would be like if you had chosen a life with Van Helsing. Would you be a silly little domestic couple with a house and kids? It was an amusing thought, but neither of you were the type.

Finally, Dracula and Henry returned a little while later carrying a coffin. It wasnt anything fancy, but it would do. Perhaps later, you could get a better one. Sunlight started peeking in through the windows as they hurriedly carried it into the dungeons, placing your coffin beside Dracula's.

"Too bad they don't make couple's coffins." You joked.

"Maybe we could have one made." He teased, kissing your neck where he had bitten you, making you shudder. "I love you." You said softly running your fingers through his hair.

"I love you too." It was so pleasant to hear him utter those words. You wanted to hear him say it again and again.

"Sleep well, darling." You said with a yawn, as you lay down suddenly feeling tired. You took one last look at him before shutting the lid. This wasn't an ideal lifestyle, but you loved him and that's all that mattered.

The sun rose into the sky and the birds began to sing their morning song. It would have been a beautiful day if it not had been for the task that Van Helsing had set out to do. He crept back inside the castle, bag in hand, being careful not wanting to draw attention to himself. He stood in the doorway to the dungeons, contemplating his next move. His chest was heavy as the thought about driving a stake into your heart. But he had to do it. He slowly opened the door and walked inside, and down the flight of stairs to the room where Dracula's coffin had been earlier. Now he noticed, that there were two coffins lying side by side, one belonging to you.

He reached inside his bag and pulled out a hammer and a couple of stakes. Van Helsing strode over to your coffin and pulled open the lid. Inside, you lay looking peaceful and content, a small smile on your face. If only it didn't have to be this way...

He pressed the stake between your breasts and raised the hammer high into the air, ready to strike. But he couldn't. The longer he stared down into your beautiful face, the harder it became to do it. He closed his eyes. Maybe if he didn't look at you...But he just couldnt. Why was this so difficult?

Suddenly, a voice shouted out behind him startling him. "Hey! What are you doing?!" Henry shouted, running at him, tackling him to the ground.

"Stop!" Lawrence yelled, shoving Henry off of him. Not listening, Henry raised his fist and slammed it into the side of Van Helsing's face, quickly tearing the stake and hammer out of his grasp.

He shook his head, feeling dazed for a moment.

"How could you do that?! I thought you wanted her alive?!" Henry asked throwing away his weapons across the room.

"I did, but after seeing what she has become I couldnt let her live like that...but I can't do it. I can't release her from this curse....It's all my fault." Van Helsing sobbed, his head throbbing. This is why he never let anyone get close to him in the first place. He had only himself to blame for this. There had to be another way and he was going to find it by any means necessary.

[bending-sickle]

For the 'Weird questions for writers' ask, bc I liked that one: 3, 11, 22, 32, 40. (I know you're away at the moment, so I'm not expecting you to get to this one soon!)

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? - tucked away in bed with the laptop at night while everyone is asleep. cursed because i, too, would like to be asleep. i also tend to reread a good few pages of Previously On... to get the brain back into proper gear, which eats away at my writing time.

(back when i had a working ipad but not a working [read: non-flammable] laptop, i'd write in the notes app with no line breaks ever. this was double-cursed but resulted in great workflow.)

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? - not really. wanton murder of characters for the sake of killing them and not because the plot Requires it seems a bit much. but if the story needs it? kill them dead and make it count.

i'm not quite that ruthless, or i wasn't last time i thought about Required Character Death, back when i was writing a Time novel* and considered killing one darling. i couldn't do it. i wanted a properly happy ending, damnit. (but then again, i did write into being a character as Already Dead and then fleshed him out with flashbacks into a Real Proper Character and i felt so bad about him always being dead. sorry, kid.)

...hang on, i just googled the thing and:

You kill your darlings when you decide to get rid of an unnecessary storyline, character, or sentences in a piece of creative writing—elements you may have worked hard to create but that must be removed for the sake of your overall story.

oooh.

in that case... sometimes i do surgical removal, sometimes i do rewriting and absorption. mainly for sentences, paragraphs, imagery... once a whole scene that never really vibed (i have it saved in a document, a.k.a. scene purgatory). i also have a lot of dialogue and even whole scenes written out in notes or fully-fleshed-out form that i try to include into the main text but if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. they might get a showing as a "deleted scene" at the end of the story, or if i can rewrite them, keeping some elements or turns of phrase, then great.

i don't do it for storylines or characters, because i weigh that as i write, generally. (or, as i'm doing now, i write an AU of the Established Story once it's done and go hogwild. everyone dies now and it's all horrible, woohoo!)

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud? - when it's short-form, i just write it out in one sitting. for long-form, like with the AU of the Time novels, i have:

word documents of scenes, snippets, and ideas written years ago, in vague chronological order. i would love to have these printed out so i can move them around and get a good grasp of what's going on but, alas.

word document of current work (now divided into 50-pages-each documents because it was starting to get too big) with scene breaks. chapter breaks and titles to be added upon posting.

word document with current snippets and ideas in bullet points, some colour-coded to group same events together

notebook with scenes, snippets, and ideas, which are transcribed into the main text or the notes document when they're being incorporated into the story

old receipts with snippets and ideas kept by the bed, scribbled in the dark, to be transcribed into the notebook

my brain, with swiss-cheese memory of good bits i need to write down because it all goes away forever

very many tabs open during Actual Writing, mostly involving the thesaurus and dictionary, and so many google searches where i try to find out what Obscure Thing is called (car engines and gun parts, my beloathed) as well as some maps.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you? - if we're talking fanfic, there's only one line that has been seared into my brain since...2002, i think:

At his first thrust, Obi-Wan opened to him as if welcoming him home.

^ Darth Maul vs. His Imagination by Darth Grey over on The Sith Academy

i found it while reading the entire Sith Academy archive during my "zomg Darth Maul ngh yiss" era. Context is Lovers Reunited After Separation (with bonus Repressed Emotions) and, i don't know why, that second half hit me in the feels and just never let go. something about love and finding home in other people and physical expression and *gestures vaguely* it still comes to mind a lot.

if we're talking poem, then living rent-free in my brain since...mid 2000s (?) is the line:

If it cries to you that it hurts, / if you can, / ease its pain.

^ "Instructions" by Neil Gaiman

which i probably came across in his blog. it just, as the kids say, vibes with me. (or rather, it's how i try to live. that if line is important, though.)

if we're talking novel then...i got nothing. (aside from dearly wishing to erase the extremely visceral sensation that reading a passage of Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns produced. it's where a character is forced to chew rocks until her molars break. because it's been years and i can still feel it.)

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

"The Purple Cow" (1895) by Gelett Burgess:

I never saw a Purple Cow, / I never hope to see one, / But I can tell you, anyhow, / I'd rather see than be one!

*series of novels i wrote for NaNoWriMos.

[withmyhonesty]

Leo Tsukinaga - Sub Story - Part 2

"Fufu, it seems that everyone calls our Leader "Ousama!" Such a name is an oath of loyalty, is it not? He must truly be wonderful... ☆"

Tsukasa: Everyone! Quickly, quickly. Hurry up! There's an emergency!

Arashi: Waaait, Tsukasa-chan? Hold on, what on Earth is happening? I thought today was our day off from "Knights" activities, right? My club has a tournament soon, so I kind of need to show up at practice, hmm? But even without practice, the outcome will still be favourable... Still, I should probably go anyway, if my club wants to aim high in the competition. I wonder if everyone will forget me if I fail to show up, it's possible? It's hard to get into the friendly atmosphere, it makes me feel blue just thinking about it.

Ritsu: Ow~... weh, ow ow?

Arashi: Wait, Tsukasa-chan. It's fine to bring Ritsu-chan along too, but let's give him a hand at least? If you drag him by his ankle and shake him around, his head will bang around, hmm?

Tsukasa: A-ah! How rude of me! Narukami-senpai, please lend me your hand, and, ah, you too, Sena-senpai! I simply do not have time to wake Ritsu-senpai, so I apologise. This way, come quickly! Express...☆

Arashi: Ahh, honestly... What could've possibly happened? It's not like Tsukasa-chan to act like this at all, isn't it? Do you know anything, Izumi-chan?

Izumi: Eh, who knows? He was shouting about the "Knights" leader, but that's impossible, "that guy" wouldn't have returned, would he?

Tsukasa: That "impossible" event truly happened, Sena-senpai ♪ Truthfully, I asked Oneesama a favour, to help search for the Leader of "Knights" who disappeared~♪

Arashi: Huh, then you've found him? If that's really the case, then this really is an emergency ♪ Our "Ousama"... we've lost track of him many times before, so it's difficult to find him, isn't it? When we asked the local Police, I heard they completely gave up. We had a difficult time trying to help them, too. I wonder what Anzu-chan has done to find our "Ousama".

Tsukasa: I don't really know. But, it seems Oneesama has kept Leader in the studio! Before he disappears and his whereabouts become unknown once again, we must greet him at least once!

Arashi: If that's the case, is it okay if you go alone, Tsukasa-chan? The rest of us here are familiar with him already. Although, I guess it has been a while since we saw his face, hasn't it.

Izumi: Hmph, well I wanted to replenish our "weapons" soon enough ♪ By the way, because of the circumstances... If "Ousama" insists to resign, won't I be appointed the new Leader of "Knights"? Since the person supposedly at the top keeps going missing, it's always such a pain going through the formal procedures for lives and such, isn't it? Really, it's so annoying~!

Tsukasa: Everyone, that's enough of the chitchat! We've arrived at the studio now. It's the first time that us "Knights" members are seeing the King that we serve with our own eyes! Ahh, I'm getting all excited! Come on, come on, to our audience... ☆

Change of Scene: Studio

Tsukasa: Excuse my intrusion! Us "Knights" members are here to greet you! ♪ Oh, Oneesama? Excuse me for the rudeness! I opened the door so quickly, it must have frightened you... ♪ Hm? What's the matter? You look confused... where is our Leader of us "Knights"?

Ritsu: Auuh~... my head is pounding, and my eyes are aching. Did I hear that right, that Ousama is back?

Tsukasa: Fufu, it seems that everyone calls our Leader "Ousama!" Such a name is an oath of loyalty, is it not? He must truly be wonderful... ☆

Leo: Aah, it's coming to me! The inspiration~!

Tsukasa: ...Oh? What might this be? There appears to be music notes written in permanent marker all over the walls and floor. Might this person be suspicious? Let's be rid of them immediately ♪

Leo: Wahahaha ☆ That ruthless "Emperor", did he surrender? Did anyone rebel against him? Haah!? Whilst I was away, it looks like things got pretty interesting at Yumenosaki Academy... ☆ Ah! Don't tell me anything yet, once all important members are present, the opera will begin! It won't stop, my delusions running in the universe... Wahahaha ☆ Wahahahaha ☆ Wahahahahaha~ ☆

Arashi: Hmm? You're truly the same as always, aren't you, "Ousama"?

Tsukasa: Huh? U-um, did you say "Ousama"? That over the top, eccentric person over there is the Leader of us "Knights"?

Arashi: Mmhm, he's truly back, isn't he...? ♪ Wait wait, "Ousama"! You're scaring the newbie here, so calm down with the nonsense! Stop scribbling on the walls, the teachers will also get mad too, won't they!?

Leo: Hmm? Ah! It's Naru! Long time no see, I see you're still as unpleasant as ever!

Arashi: Ehh? Why is that the first thing you say to me?! I'm offended!

Leo: Swaying around left and right, it's truly an amusing sight! I love you, I looove you! ☆ Ooh, Rittsu and Sena are also here! It feels like it's been ten thousand to two thousand years! How have you guys been, my "Knights"? ♪

Tsukasa: Um...?

Leo: Oh, there's someone here I don't know! Hang on a sec! Let me think about who you might be! There must be some materials to make a guess, and a bundle of ideas, wow! The opera begins... ☆ in any case, you're an alien, right?! Uchuu! I came up with a greeting to offer the universe. Though, it's not that important right now! Wahahaha ☆ Wait a minute, that's not important right now! Don't be annoying, I'm writing a song that will be super famous! You can witness the moment this masterpiece will be born! Ah damn! I don't have any paper and I'm not allowed to write on the walls, but my inspiration is overflowing into this mysterious composing mood! ♪ Wait! My shoulders are stiff, someone rub them immediately! This sort of interaction is also stimulating for my music!

Tsukasa: U-uh, erm...?

Arashi: Ignore him, Tsukasa-chan. Our "Ousama" has always been this eccentric artist since long before, hasn't he? Once he's in the zone, he immerses himself completely in composing without food or rest, mm? Since he's acting like this now, it's probably because he hasn't come back here for a while now. ♪

Tsukasa: I... Is that so? But I wanted to properly introduce myself to our Leader...?

Izumi: Ehh, that's not really necessary, though? That guy doesn't pay attention to anyone anyway, you understand? This guy has never been great at cooperating, his skills are abysmal and I don't need to keep saying it. He's still the same though, the one in charge of us "Knights" ♪ His physical abilities are weirdly good because of his eccentricities, so he has great dancing abilities. But it's always unusable for lives and performances because he arranges his own choreography as he goes, you see? Even if he is exceptionally talented when it comes to composing, he doesn't want to sing them, and prefers "others singing his songs for him".

Tsukasa: Ehhh? How useless... Oh, how rude of me, I-I have no such honourable skills, but how did this person become our Leader?

Leo: Wh, wha? What am I doing here at Yumenosaki Academy? One of you, tell me! Wait, don't tell me! Now that I think about it, this place has a melody hidden deep inside... ☆ Ah, I just remembered! You all have a live tomorrow! As "Knights"!

Izumi: Haa? Why do you think you can say whatever you like after just coming back from being away for so long?

Leo: Nnn, Anzu was the one who found the job for you! We made a competition so she'd tell me what was going on at this school in my absence! And the stuff I'm not told would be supplemented by my delusions, hmm~? She told me as much as she knew, and I listened to it all! So I must pay back my debt as a form of gratitude, right? Besides, it seems fun ☆ Just you guys wait! The song I'm writing now will be ready for you tomorrow! The melody is almost complete, and now you have this newbie kid with you as another part of your team, it'll be an interesting song! Wahahaha ☆ It's coming to me, the inspiration!

Arashi: Yes yes, alright. Whatever you say, "Ousama". With this new song you're preparing for us... With our "weapon", we can destroy all of our enemies ♪ Even once you're done, make sure to eat well and get enough sleep. It'll cause us more problems if you suddenly collapse. Anzu-san, he's a problem child, but would you mind taking care of him for us? Well then, it seems like we'll be busy for now... ♪

Ritsu: Hehe. It's been a while... Mm, with this new line up, it'll be our first show with all of us "Knights" members, won't it~? ♪

Izumi: Ehh~ Am I really doing a live again without you guys having my say? Well, it truly can't be helped, can it now? Now that "Ousama" has finally returned, I can show my arrogant side to "Trickstar" and the others~ ♪

Tsukasa: W-why are my seniors full of passion?! I don't understand! Us "Knights" that have been disconnected from each-other, to now showing so much passion, I'm so interested, but...? O-Oneesama? W-what should I do, in a situation like this?

Leo: Don't lose your heads! A Knight must be majestic and gallant! Whether you are cowardly or fearless! Gruesome or beautiful - ah, how cliche! It's no use! Pretend you didn't hear that! Don't worry at all, Newbie! Give up your heart and surrender to your senses, abandon your form to whatever fate lies for us, and break free of it all! Aah, words simply aren't enough! I need music~! Anyway, prepare for our war, my "Knights"! Let's go, I feel like overthrowing a chessboard for old times sake! No one will be able to get rid of me, as I am the naked Emperor! Wahahahaha ☆