#I'm going to start biting people if I can't get my thoughts out correctly and soon

[emile-hides]

can I. hyper focus on one thing. For FIVES MINUTES

[skeletonapricationday]

Collaboration

Dead dove do not eat

I do not condone any of these actions and neither should you. This is purely fantasy. Do not forget that.

Warnings: blood kink, choking (gone a little far), bondage bench, face fucking, knotted genitals (fox pp), dark web streaming, recorded sex, and too many more to count.

Minors dni

You move around your messy warehouse excitedly and nervously. All the cameras placed perfectly, even a few mics placed caustiously as to not be in view. You walk over to your computer screens, their bright lights the only lights in the room. They shine on your face as you slip the mask on. Securing it tight. The familiar feeling of power surging through you.

1...2...3...Action!

"Hey my little degenerates! Cobra here today with a very exciting stream." You see the chats and views roll in quickly. The followers you've gained over the years quick to join.

'A new exciting stream! We've missed you Cobra' one writes. 'I've been so lonely without my favorite whore.' Another chimes in. All types of messages on your screens.

"Awee you've missed me. That's so cute." You say, your lips curling into a foul smile. The mask covered the top half of your face, leaving your plump round mouth as the only thing in view. "I missed yall too, but you won't regret why I've been gone for so long...today we have a very exciting guest. Can yall guess who it is?" You ask sickly sweet.

'A guest? Is it a new toy?' A chatter asks. 'No, she never introduces her toys this way.' Another correctly assumes. 'Could it be another streamer?'

"Oh my. You've gone from cold to burning hot chat. You're close~" You purr. Waiting for them to catch on. "C'mon yall begged for this. You should know!" You say fake pouting. Setting up a silent hype for your viewers.

Suddenly the door opens behind you, setting your nerves ablaze. You've never met him before, but you've seen his streams. Always quick to jump in and even tip him. You look over as he stands out of the cameras view, slowly putting on his mask. He's so quick you didn't get to see his face. "Guys! Your surprise is here." You giggle standing. Walking over to him, flaunting your hips as you walk for the camera.

The man barks out a laugh. "My, you seem more excited than your chat." He says in that usual mechanical tone you've come to love.

"Can't help it, I'm also a fan yknow." You giggle nervously.

You can hear the chat going wild. Some already catching on from his voice alone, and others left in utter confusion. You toy with the stockings on your lingire nervously. Wondering what to say or do, but you quickly go back to being professional.

He walks slowly into the frame, walking straight up to a camera. "Hey chat- did you miss me too?" He asks expertly, his reveal making the fans go nuts.

'No way! Cobra did it!' 'I wanna be her, I've always wanted to meet Fox.' 'Shut up and just enjoy this!' The chat goes wild, sending in tips before the show even starts.

You walk over and playfully grab Fox's arm, pulling it close to your barely clothed chest. "Isn't this just exciting! Who knew you'd ever respond to little ol' me." You tease, looking into his cold eyes.

"I'm not dumb enough to reject such an offer! I'm sure plenty would kill to be in my place." He teases back, quick on his feet. "Though I'm sorry for the time crunch, I wish we could've met behind the scenes first." He says earnestly, like he's also excited for this show.

"It's no problem. We're both busy people." You purr out like honey. Voice more animalistic than the fox being in front of you. Excited merely at the thought of this shoot.

He wrenches his arm out of your grasp, grabbing your waist with it. His sharp nails caressing your bare side. "I hate making pretty woman wait, especially when they're famous. Should we get to it?" He asks, then looks back the screen. Fans biting their nails eagerly for this.

This was it. You're a famous gore streamer yourself, frequently buying from Fox's underground trade. Breaking toy after toy. You even did a few streams of just yourself, a nice toy, and a knife, those seem to be the fans favorites. They want to see you in a reversed position. Used the same way you use others. You're pulled out of your thoughts by a harsh grip.

His nails now digging into your side, small spots of blood pouring down from the small puncture wounds. You hiss and groan, receiving a small chuckle in return. "Now now- we haven't even started. Can't have you zoning out...yet." He says, a dark looming foreshadow. You blush under your mask and look at him.

"Sorry I'm a tad nervous. I'm not exactly used to handing over my reigns." You say like an announcer, trying to keep the act up for the fans. He simply looks humored as he pulls his hand away. When he does you quickly show off to the camera the small cresant shaped injuries. Nothing major, not even worse than what you've done to yourself. Simply telling of what's to come.

"So I've brought something special, since I'm being gifted such a special toy." He purrs, walking over and opening a suitcase. Inside is a choke chain you've seen on stream before. "Don't worry doll, that's just the beginning." He hums out. Pulling out the chain and placing it aside. Underneath is a peculiar looking stick. You don't know what it is until he pulls it out, it's a cane. Long, hard, and sturdy. The perfect tool to get yelps out of someone. You gulp nervously, unsure of this, but also entirely sure.

He walks over and grabs your bandage bench, setting it up to fit you. Hooking the choke chain into the ceiling above it. If he wasn't wearing a mask you could swear he was smirking. "Do you understand the plan now doll?" He asks darkly with a honeyed undertone. You nod slowly and understanding. Seeing that the play has already begun.

You look at the camera and pretend to fan your face. "Geez chat it feels like it's already gotten hot in here!" You beam. Feeling Fox come behind you, running his hands up and down your sides.

"I think it's just you." He says into your ear, gripping onto your breast in front of the camera. Pushing them together for the viewers pleasure before teasing your nipples through the lace. Getting a small moan from you. "Afterall, what a cute little outfit. Is this all for me?" He barks out curiously, running his hands down to your thighs. Wiggling and playing with them like a cat.

"Of course it's for you silly. Gotta put on my best wear right?" You respond right back, trying to keep your confidence.

He whispers low into your ear, so quiet the microphones can't pick it up. He's speaking just for you. "Perfect darling. Perfect. Because I'm going to destroy you." He then looks at the camera and crinkles his eyes innocently. He grabs your throat, squeezing lightly.

You gasp as your airflow is weakened, not completely restricted. "Now where do we start with a little inexperienced thing like you?" He quips to the camera. Reading off chat requests till one catches his eye.

'Just strip her already and put her in that chair. I wanna see a Dom squeal.' He laughs at the chatter. Turning your head so you can see the message too. "You hear that doll? Your cute little fans wanna see you turned into a mess. Normally we'd do some kind of light play before getting into the meat of the show but...I can see you're too tantalizing for that." His grip on your throat tightens. Completely cutting off your ability to breathe.

You struggle a bit, surprised by his harsh grip. He only lets out a huff through his nose and squeezes tighter. Causing you to feel a small ring like bruise form on your precious skin. He lets go.

You fall to the floors coughing, holding the concrete floor as a life line. He picks up a camera and zooms it in on your face. "We've only just started and she's already sputtering. Are you sure you aren't just a bottom in disguise?' He asks curiously, running his boot up your thigh, pressing painfully into it.

"Nope, I'm a switch, Fox. Never claimed to be a dom." You giggle out cockily. Looking through the holes of your mask defiantly. Rubbing your throat to ease the pain of the mark, feeling wetness pool at your thighs. His harsh and unloving gaze already turning you on.

"Doesn't mean anything if you're still pathetic." He says, barking out another laugh. Taking his boot off your thigh he notions towards the bdsm bench. Telling you to get ready to be strapped in.

You slowly stand and walk to it. The bandage bench forcing you into a downward dog position. He straps you in carefully, till you can only move your head back and forth, and mildly rock your hips. "You look better positioned like the bitch you are." He says looking down at you. Putting the choke chain around your neck, forcing you to keep your head up. One wrong move and the nails would pierce through your throat, rendering you dead.

"I'm not a dog." You say in a bratty tone. Smirking at him like 'what are you gonna do about it.'

"Sure you are." He smiles, running a cold gloved hand down your back all the way to your ass. Goosebumps forming whereever he touches. He quickly brings a hand down to your ass causing you to yelp. "See? You just barked." He giggles out. Entertained by your shattering ego.

"I don't bark, I moan get it right." You huff in response, rolling your eyes. He can't see it since he's behind you, but you're sure he catches it in one of the several viewfinders. Your kinky play broadcasted to thousands. It makes you grow wetter at the thought, and distracts you enough for Fox to surprise you

A sudden blinding pain vibrates through your body. Starting at your ass and zapping all the way up your spine. You whimper when it subsides. "What is-?" You shout confused.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten? I even showed you." He purrs behind you. Rubbing over the mark on your ass, soothing it with his cold palm. "That's one."

"On-one?" You stutter. Keeping your head painfully up despite the urge to hang your head in pain. "How many are you gonna do Fox." Suddently you scream in pain again.

"Wrong." He states coldly. "Whats my name?" He asks.

You bite your bottom lip in thought but come up blank."Fox-its Fox- AAA." Another slap of the cane.

"Fox is only when you're human." He coos. "And right now you're a toy. What do toys say?" He hums, tapping his nails on your back expectantly.

"Daddy..." You hush out quietly.

"Say it proudly or you've earned another." He grabs the back of your hair, forcing your head even further upward. "Say it, slut."

"Daddy!" You shout, tears pricking your eyes under your mask. You hear a laugh behind you and he lets your head go. Leaving you to hold yourself up.

"Good girl!" He says proudly, a lustful tone underneath. "See it wasn't that hard...but I am." He jokes to the camera. Looking right into the lens like a famous actor.

"You're hard?" You ask excitedly. Your ego lighting aflame in your chest. You made Fox hard. You've won. You did it.

"You don't believe me?" He says with a fake pout. Rubbing his cock against your ass. "Do you believe me now?" He says, rutting his hips a tad, groaning at the clothed contact.

"Yes daddy." You purr. Feeling it twitch in his pants, his tip probably already soaking wet just like you. "I'm wet~" You respond.

You yelp when the cane comes back down on you, this time hitting your thigh. It's difficult to keep your head up on your own through the fire but you manage. "I don't need a naughty girl stating the obvious. Do I?" He ask retortically, not looking for a real answer. He's looking for submission.

"No daddy. You don't." You whine, biting your bottom lip.

"Behave and you'll get rewarded, so will your fans." He hums, a smile in his voice. He walks in front of you and removes the choke chain. Letting you finally hang your head limply, giving your neck a rest. He tsks his tongue "No, no baby. That isn't why I freed you. You got a show to put on!" He says micheviously, like he's reprimanding a toddler.

"What do I do daddy?" You say trying to convince yourself to look up, no matter how limp you felt.

You hear the pop of buttons and that gets your attention. Looking up at him through blurry eyes, blinking rapidly. "So that catches your attention huh?" He teases. He rubs his claw against your bottom lip, smearing your blood from earlier on it. "Open. Do a good job and you won't get the cane for the rest of the night."

'That's right, treat her like the whore she is!' 'This is the best show yet!' 'I'm so glad I paid for this.' Echos of chats and tips come in, but they simply bounce off your blurry mind.

You open your lips slowly, feeling his knotted tip entering your mouth. Jaw being stretched impossibly wide. You hiss at the angle but open your mouth further, allowing him to push in the rest. "Remember, no teeth doll. I feel a single tooth and I'll pull them out of your skull." He beams cheerily. Throwing his head back with a groan as he slides in and out of your wet tight mouth. "It's like you were made for this." He says with a smirk in his wavering tone. His voice gravely, but his groans higher pitched.

You can't properly respond so you hum around him. Sending pleasurable vibrations through his dick. "Oh yea that's it doll. Fuck." He curses and looks back down at you. Making direct eye contact through your mask.

You whine around him, feeling your throat painfully restrict on every thrust. His tail swishing from side to side behind him, betraying his cold gaze and revealing his excitement. You move your tongue around rapidly, hoping it'll make him cum. Wanting nothing more than to feel his salty seed pour down your throat. He starts to thrust faster. Holding you by your hair to angle himself better. "That's it. Take it. Fucking take it." He repeats his words as you feel his cock twitch in your mouth. The veins pulsing more and more, tipping you off that he'll cum soon. You suck harder, desperate. "I'm going cum- that's it. Imma' pour my cum right down your throat. You want that baby?" He urges. Almost like you could say yes. You can't speak so you hum again and that sends him over the edge. Cum painting the inside of your neck. The thick liquid clinging to the walls, almost gagging you. He pulls out slowly with a relieved sigh. You cough and sputter, drool and a little bit of cum leaking down your chin.

"My, my don't you just look pretty. Let's see how wet you've become huh?" You look at him blushed, not wanting him to see the mess you've made. He walks behind you and laughs, gently slapping the side of your ass. "Wow, you really enjoyed that didn't you. Do you often dream of being a cocksleeve?"

You think of lying, but his cold sharp gaze can be felt behind you. You decide against it, clearing your throat. "Yes daddy. I do." He barks out another laugh.

"I made her suck me so hard I made her an honest woman." He teases cockily. Proud of everything. He rubs a hand against your still clothed folds. Collecting slick even through the fabric. You hear lick and slurping behind you, he was cleaning it off his hand. He was tasting you, and he moaned while doing it. "Geez, wish we could bottle this taste."

"That wouldn't sell well daddy." You joke back, he chuckles.

"On the contrary, I think it would be top teir on the sales chart." He giggle and rips your panties in half. Leaving your aching hole in the open, the cold air making you clench around nothing. "I don't even wanna bother preparing you, I mean you're already so wet. What's the point."

"You can just enter daddy...please." You whine, rocking your hips purposefully. Begging to finally get your rocks off after all this pain.

"Whatever you say, don't complain if it's a tight fit." He says proudly, stroking his own ego.

You feel the tip of his cock slip through your folds, teasing and collecting wetness. He even slaps the tip against your clit a few times, earning hefty short moans from your lips. "Daddy please!" You shout and as soon as you do he enters. Painfully stretching you open, filling up your aching cunt all too quickly. You cry and sob out a moan. A mixture of pain and pleasure as his hips meet your abused ass. His balls slapping against your clit.

"This is one tight cunt." He growls approvingly, like he was rating it. Slowly slipping in and out again. Actually giving you a few thrusts to adjust. You moan out babbles of thank you and daddy. "Oh baby I'm not gonna be nice, it just feels like I'm going to break in half. You got one beast of a pussy baby." He chuckles out.

He starts slamming back into you at an impossible speed, each thrust earning a yelp and moan. You whine as his tip kisses your cervix with each aching movement. Your thighs already shaking like you're going to cum. "Not so soon~" He purrs between his own moan. "Daddy has gotta get close first." He says cockily. Leaning down and sniffing your neck. "God you smell so fucking arousing!"

You moan and press your hips back against him, begging nonverbally for more. "Daddy please m' needa cum. Gotta cum daddy please-" You pant out. Bucking and trashing in the bondage bench desperately. More drool dripping down your already coated jaw. Each inahle you can taste his cum again, it only heightens your senses. "Daddy-daddy!" You shout.

"Just a little longer baby mm." He responses softly despite his animalistic pace. "You're gonna take it, and take it, and take it till I tell you otherwise." He punctuates every word with a sharp thrust. Fucking you deep and fast, not even pulling out completely. Every slap of his balls on your clit causing you to scream, tears falling down your face.

" 'mma cum 'mma cum I can't I can't-" You sob out, your cunt clenching impossibly tight around him. You hear a deep gravely sound pull out of him. He leans down into your shoulder and you hear his mask unclip. He bites harshly into your shoulder, blood dripping down onto the floor in front of you. You scream loudly, clenching again. He licks and laps at the wound, hiding his face from the public in your skin.

"Look into the fucking camera when you cum." You hear him put his mask back on. A strong hand gripping the base of your jaw, forcing you to look up. "Cum slut, now." He hisses between clenched teeth.

You do, the whole world turning white. Your walls spasming like crazy on his dick. Squirting onto the floor, his pants, and cock. Clear liquid streaming out of you. The world feels blurry and unreal as all the pleasure hits you. You don't even know if you're moaning, maybe you're talking but you don't know. It all feels too good, it's feels too too good.

"That's it. That's fucking it doll. Cum on daddy." He growls. Shooting hot ropes of seed inside you, burying himself in your cunt. Each pulse is another round of cum slipping out of him and into you. If you weren't on the pill you'd be pregnant for sure. "God I could fucking breed you. Whore." He hisses as he pulls out. Cum dripping down your abused folds.

You chuckle cockdrunk, drool leaking out of your mouth uncontrollably. "Hehe daddy~" You purr.

The lights of all the cameras shut off as you see the room grow darker. He had ended the stream. You're unhooked from the bench and fall right into his arms. He pulls your mask off and his too, bringing you in and kissing you deep. Your blood on his tongue and the taste of his cum of yours. It was like lightning.

"Let's see how good you preform off stream." You hear the dark voice as you fade out of consciousness. Passing out.

[yousaydisco]

Finished rated E Harry/Kim ficlet that I don't want to post to my ao3. 4.2k words, first time, Harry and Kim meet up a week after Martinaise and their relationship turns from platonic to decidedly not.

It is late evening, a time when children are put to bed and delinquents are looking at themselves in cracked mirrors getting ready for a night of raising Hell and feeling at peace with themselves, when Kim's phone rings. He gets up from his well-loved armchair (the one that has cracks in the faux leather that are irreparable) to pad across to it but doesn't rush himself. It is partially on its second ring when he answers with "This is Lieutenant Kitsuragi."

When the voice on the other end answers with a resounding "Kim!" a small part of his gut regrets that it took him so long to answer. Harry sounded like a lot of things: exhausted, no doubt still recovering from Martinaise, elated to him from Kim again, but mostly he sounded overwhelmingly relieved. Like maybe he hadn't remembered Kim's phone number correctly and wasn't sure if he was going to get the right person. 

Or more like he thought Kim wouldn't answer the phone at all. He could still hang up, having heard Harry's voice and wanting to come clean of him completely. Write off their entire meeting as something to forget, but that's something that Kim would only do in his nightmares. If given the opportunity he would like to keep a hold on the strange man he met in Martinaise.

He had carved out a life for himself that purposefully leaves little room for anything besides the RCM. It allows him to more easily find comfort in routine: work, home, sleep, back to work. He's never been good at people - people who can be unpredictable or needy or any number of things that would disrupt his routine. So he doesn't have people in his life. Any loneliness that lingers is just the price to pay for the most powerful feeling of comfort he can afford himself. Except. . .    

"Hello, Harry." he doesn't use 'detective' because that would be too formal over the phone. But for some reason using 'Harry' also feels like the wrong decision. Well, no, it's not actually about using his name, it's about how Kim was so beside himself at hearing the gravelly voice again that he let himself smile wide. A full-tooth smile that is far too intimate. Too revealing. Just as quickly as it appeared on his face he bites it back down again. 

It has been one week since he has heard from Harry and it feels like a hell of a lot longer than that. But also shorter, which makes no sense at all but still feels very true. Before he was sent on the case, and briefly before Harry called him, he was reading a novel called Time-Sickness, which takes place in a world where the privileged class of people have the ability to time-travel as they please but they quickly figure out that doing it too much causes the traveler to get horribly, horribly sick. Not fatal, if they take breaks, but inconvenient. It wasn't long before they got the idea to pay other people to time-travel for them while they wore specifically made glasses that allowed the rich to view the adventures through the eyes of 'the hired help' as they were called, and since they were hired for a job it is usually taken on by people who can't afford to take breaks between traveling. The descriptions of the time-sickness reminds him a lot of how his past week has felt without Harry. An impossibly long-short stretch where all he can do is try to go on a normal life until time eventually starts working again.

His wandering thoughts are easier to suppress than his smile was and together they huddle in the back corner of his mind.  

Too late. Harry, in the supra-natural way he just knows things, has caught it. "Did I interrupt your reading? I'm sorry - I can call you back." 

He placed the book closed on the table with his phone. "No, that's alright. I wasn't very invested in it. How have you been, Harry?"

A shaky breath makes its way through the receiver. Kim unconsciously pressed the phone even closer, as if he could hear what made Harry so unsteady. "It's been a lot. Bed rest. You know how it is." 

On one hand, as a workaholic, he does know how it is. To be left idle when you know there's a mountain of work to do, that other people are doing and no doubt cursing your existence out for leaving it to them, is its own form of torture. But on the other hand as someone who isn't recovering from both a bullet wound but also severe memory loss, who is possibly trying to stay sober after years of succumbing to various addictions, and who is facing the very real possibility that after bed rest is complete he may not actually have a job to go back to, he doesn't really know how it is.

"I've missed you." The pure sincerity of the statement made Kim's defenses raise as much as it warmed him.

"It's only been a week." He tries to put in a teasing note to the words to hide the fact that his default would sound too fond.

"We did great work together. Really, really good stuff."   

Harry had invited him to transfer to the 41st before they separated and Kim had said something positive, though rather vague. He had filled out the transfer form at the start of the next day but didn't turn it in quite yet. That night he had attempted to call Harry himself. It eventually rang out. He did not leave a message. He did not try again. 

A part of him, something that has lingered ever since he was a teenager with no friends, had anxiously told him to rip up the form. That he has yet again misread a relationship into it being more than it is, that any sense of intensity is actually one-sided, and that he has overstepped a boundary. That the offer was, in all actuality, given out of politeness instead of sincerity and Kim was not supposed to take it literally. 

He couldn't rip it up. It's still sitting on his kitchen table.

But Harry is on the phone with him now. He is real again, not just a figment of his memory fading faster than he wants it to. In the back of his mind there is still a twinge of fear that he had made up the mad, drunken man from Precinct 41. That in his loneliness and grief he had conjured a man so hurt, so lost, so desperate that of course he would think Kim is cool. A man with no memory of anyone else in the world, so there's no excuse but to latch onto Kim in the way that he had. Even in his harshest moments of self-critique, he wouldn't think that he was capable of something so pathetic, but that missed phone call really got to him.  

"I can't believe you're real." Harry almost whispers. Did he catch that thought of Kim's too? Or is it all his own? He can't ask. He will just have to die not knowing. 

They talk for hours that night. And then again two nights later. About a lot of things. There is not a lot that Harry can share about his past but that is okay, he is content with sharing the bits of pieces he is learning on his own. But mostly he wants to know about Kim. Which is terrifying. The idea that there is someone that wants to know him deeply, know every crevice there is, and that he no longer has a real barrier against that. He doesn't tell Harry everything but he tells him far more than he would have told anyone else pre-Martinaise. 

"Please, Kim can I - can I see you?" Harry asked a week into their nightly phone calls. His voice sounds desperate like he is a man dying in the desert who doesn't believe he deserves a single drop of water and yet is still asking for a drink. And Kim is the one holding the pitcher. 

His fingers twitch to reach for his car keys. It is almost one in the morning. "Khm." He hums in consideration, practically feeling Harry sweat through the phone. As if Kim would say no. "I am free Sunday."

It's Wednesday. 

They still talk on the phone every night until then and when Sunday comes Kim almost cancels. Not because he wants to but because there is a layer of something magical, something supra-natural almost that has fallen over the two of them and meeting would break that. Almost like he got his one chance to hang out with Harry in person and he shouldn't ask for more. Almost like if sees Harry again, or continues to let him know things about his life, then he will eventually realize just how mundane he really is.

But he doesn't cancel. They meet up again. 

They meet up for lunch at a place that Harry had said was amazing. Swore up and down that they served the best food. Kim knew to keep his expectations safely low when he noticed the health rating posted in the front being. . . acceptably high. Just barely.

Kim was early. Almost thirty minutes before their agreed-upon meeting time. He's aggressively punctual in every aspect of his life but usually not so early. He's just. . . happy to have someplace new to try, he would say. Surprisingly, Harry is also early, arriving maybe ten minutes later walking on a cane. Still recovering from the gunshot wound. Kim stood up from the booth as soon as he saw Harry enter the restaurant and smiled, his smile growing wider when Harry brightened up like the morning sun at the sight of Kim. 

He had walked to Harry with his hand out, intending for a handshake (safe but still sincere) but Harry didn't hesitate before grabbing him by the forearm and pulling him into a deep hug, one hand still on his cane. Kim wrapped his arms around Harry's middle and returned the deep embrace. Thankfully Harry had taken a shower since they last met, and was wearing freshly washed clothing, and so he actually smelled. . . very good. Husky, almost spiced. Kim did not take a deep breath but he did mentally jot down the notes with the intention of writing it in his notebook. For later. 

It was briefly stilted after they sat down together. Both looking at each other in a way that you would think that they had been separated for years rather than two weeks (more like a week and a half, but who's counting?). But Harry was the one to break the tension. 

"I think we were meant to meet." His eyes shine with intense sincerity and vulnerability. He looked like he could cry. Kim's gloved hands twitched but he tried to look open and comfortable. "I wouldn't have been able to pull myself out of the hole without you. I wouldn't have. I'd be dead." 

"I doubt that." Kim pulls his hands together to hold them steady and looks Harry in the eyes. "You've always had it in you to be better. You just finally wanted to." 

Conversation flowed much easier after that. They stayed in that restaurant, in that booth, far beyond lunch. When they eventually left, after the manager had started walking by and silently gesturing to the clock, Harry looked at him in the far-off way that he does when he's thinking. Kim patiently waits, trying to not obviously check him out. 

Harry had been able to remain sober even without a case distracting him. His eyes were no longer glassy and his breath no longer reeked. He hasn't gotten a trim yet so his hair is still a bit unruly but it's clear he has run a comb through it. His face is pale, unhealthily so, but no longer flushed a permanent, angry red. The swelling in his nose has all but disappeared but there is a noticeable, but not intense, shake to his hands.

All in all Kim sees a very handsome man on the road to recovery.

"Can you give me a ride home?" Harry asks. "I'm sorry to ask - I took the train here and it's still running I'm just - " he falters off momentarily, embarrassed. "It's a long walk. I'm not used to a cane yet - "

"There's no need to explain." Kim, standing at his default parade's rest, faces him completely. "Of course I'll drive you home." 

He could not deny that there is a certain tension in the air. A spark of electricity that is threatening to burn the both of them inside out. Something that has changed since working on THE HANGED MAN case. Or, more accurately, something that was planted during their time working together and now they are starting to see the fruits of their labor. Kim could not keep from glancing at Harry in the backseat through the cage of the Kineema and it was obvious Harry could tell. Probably even without his can-opening abilities. Every time Kim glanced at him through the rear-view mirror, Harry squirmed and looked out the window, blushing. 

Kim gripped the steering wheel tightly and looked back at the road. Then glanced at Harry again just to see more pink dusting his cheeks.

If he were dropping Harry off and speeding away he might have just pulled up to the curb. Maybe. But that would be rather ungentlemanly, to make someone with a recent and serious injury walk that much more steps to their door. That's the excuse he would use if Harry questioned why he went out of his way to grab a spot in the actual lot meant for overnight visitors only.

"Do you - um." He started the sentence off strong but when Kim looked at him, still through the rear-view mirror, he faltered. "Coffee? Is that something you drink? Probably right, I mean that's the whole thing. With cops. That we drink a lot of coffee." 

"Khm." Kim nodded. "And donuts."

"Right! Coffee and donuts." He smiled, pleased that Kim caught it. "So would you like a cup? Of coffee. I don't have a cup of donuts." 

"You're not asking me for coffee." Because he may not be a can-opener but he is still an investgator. He probably doesn't need to be an investigator to read Harry though, since his nervousness is obvious from a mile away. It's been forever since a man was so eager for Kim's approval, nervous because he might say no or not be as interested. The only reason that he couldn't sit here and bask in the feeling forever is because that would mean never saying yes to Harry, who he wants to just give things to. Anything he wants. The initial hint of denial is made that much sweeter when he knows that they both are going to get what they want in the end. 

"I'm not asking you for coffee." Harry gulps. "Come in with me anyway?"

What was that about denial? 

Kim is a gracious man. He does not kiss Harry until they are both inside, front door closed, and not until he pushes Harry to sit on the couch.

"Kim," he whispers reverently and looks up at him with bright, clear eyes. Clearer than Kim has ever seen on him before. The green in his eyes were turned to a thin sliver with how aroused he was, looking up at Kim. 

Kim pushes Harry's legs far enough apart for him to stand between them and slowly takes his gloves off, smirking at how Harry's eyes trace every tiny movement of his hands. When they're freed he gently cradles Harry's jaw in one of his hands, then finally leans down for a kiss.

Harry's dry lips practically melt against Kim's and he makes a whining noise, faintly like a dog begging to be let back in the house, except it's ecstatic and hot and leaves a spark at the base of Kim's spine. Harry snakes up his arms underneath Kim's jacket, his shirt, so that he's making contact with his bare skin already. Kim pushes Harry until he's lying back on the couch and he lays on top of him, careful to not put weight on Harry's bad leg, never breaking contact with his mouth during the entire transition. He takes off his jacket and lays it so it's hanging on the nightstand next to the couch, more careless than he usually is with his things but he doesn't particularly care to fold it or leave Harry to hang it on the hook.  

He's so solid underneath Kim's hands. So real. Everything he needs to touch to dissuade all fears that the week in Martinaise didn't happen, that they never actually met, and that Harry is a figment of his lonely and horny imagination. He needs more.

"Kiiiiiiim." Harry whines when they separate and Kim knows that he cannot keep how much the sound of Harry whining his name is affecting him off of his face. Judging by the fact that Harry's face gets even more red, it is well-received.   

"You have to be patient, detective" Kim moves to start mouthing at Harry's neck and shoulder as his hands start making quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. Harry is so tantalizing warm that it's like he has a red-hot molten core and Kim is approaching it with disregard for either of their safety. "Can you be patient for me?" 

Harry nodded so fast that Kim was vaguely worried that he was about to give himself whiplash, but the nodding stopped when Kim started mouthing at his collarbone. He could feel the form beneath him shaking with a barely concealed effort to keep still as more and more whimpers fell out of Harry's mouth as Kim explored more of his chest. 

Something that he didn't get the chance to fully and truly appreciate in their brief time together was just how - khm - hairy he was. Kim resisted the urge to stuff his face right in the middle of his chest and breathe deeply and instead, he raked his nails down the entire expanse of the area, not too rough but not gently either. His nails tinged the areas of exposed skin slightly pink and caused the affected areas to swell in animalistic lines underneath his hands.  

The noises that Harry makes sound like a symphony. 

Harry still having his shirt on as much as he did was starting to become very irritating to him. Kim did not roughly rip it open, he has more care for other people's things than that, but he did make unbuttoning it his top priority until Harry's chest was fully exposed. Kim leaned back for a moment so he was sitting on Harry's lap, his sinewy frame being comforted by Harry's strong thighs, just to peer down at him, admire him, until eventually Harry squirmed uncomfortably.

"Um," he mutters, then tries to put on a semblance of a confident smirk. "Like what you see?" in a tone that made it obvious he could not believe that Kim was liking what he was seeing.

Kim leaned forward and smashed a hot, bruising kiss onto Harry's mouth. "Yes. I 'like what I see' very much." 

Harry whined softly at his words and those whines turned into loud, shameless moans when Kim went back over the red lines still visible on Harry's chest with more, dragging his nails tantalizingly slow over his chest. Sometimes, briefly, overlapping the raised marks but mostly making new ones. Bringing the blood to the area without threatening to break the skin, making his skin hot and sensitive to all stimulation.

But it's more than that if he's being honest with himself. It's the fact that Harry is now covered in evidence that Kim was here. That the marks and Harry's reaction to them are Kim's doing. That they haven't even taken their pants off and Harry is marked by Kim, not belonging to him but it'd be clear for the days if not weeks to come that he was here to anyone else who got to see. 

"Kim, fuck - Kim." Harry gasped. "Please, f-fuck me. Or let me suck you off. Touch me. Do something. Please. I'm about to die." 

"We can't have that." Kim smirked and Harry flushed even redder, which shouldn't have been possible.

Kim vaguely recalled Harry talking about heart problems back in Martinaise and thought that he should show some mercy, in case Harry wasn't lying and he could actually have a medical emergency from all the teasing. 

So he quickly unbuttoned Harry's pants while Harry unbuttoned his own and in no time at all they were exposed from the waist down. Harry's cock, like the rest of him, was large. Though less in length and more in girth, with the tip being vibrant pink and already leaking profusely. Kim thought it looked rather nice nestled next to his own, cradled in his hand, as he jerked them both off.

Harry was made speechless by this, only letting out moans and whines and breaths so aroused that they could almost be described as anguished. He was trying to lean up, supporting himself with his strong arms, so he could look at Kim's ministrations. Grey-green eyes locked on every movement, actively trying to fight against the urge to lean back and fall into the pure pleasure of it all. 

He let Harry do that for a few moments, still feeling merciful, before he used his free hand to grab Harry by the chin and gently direct him to look up at his face. Then, while not breaking in rhythm where he was still jerking them off, removed his hand from Harry's chin and swiped a healthy amount of pre-cum off of their tips, and shoved two fingers in Harry's open mouth.

Harry let half a moan slip before it was cut off by him suckling Kim's fingers, tongue curling around them enthusiastically. Kim maneuvered them so that he was gently fucking Harry's mouth and then eventually, testing it since he had no idea of Harry's experience but guessing by how repressed his Whole Thing is that it isn't a lot, barely teasing his throat. Mostly a promise for the future. If he's good. And he is - he takes it like it's the only thing keeping him grounded to reality at this moment, like this was something he had secretly had a thought project about and was finally fulfilling something.

Kim could feel the tell-tale heat build up in his stomach and he sped up, removing the other hand from Harry's mouth he returned to the scratch marks on his chest, latching onto one that appeared the most red and tender and pressed on it. "Cum for me."

Harry finally slumped back, unable to hold himself up anymore, and with a mantra of just Kim repeated as many times as he can fit into one breath he cums, most of it spurting onto his own chest but a surprisingly large amount puddling onto Kim's hand. It wasn't too long until Kim was following after him, deliberately aiming to make an even bigger mess on Harry's chest.

They sat there for a few moments, breathing heavily, before Kim stood up on shaky legs. He situated himself back into his pants before walking down the hall and hoping to find - ah, yes. The bathroom. He grabbed a clean towel and returned to Harry, still in the same position on the couch in the living room with a completely dazed look in his eye. He seemed to barely notice Kim cleaning him up, except for a fond smile breaking out across his face.

'Khm." Kim cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed. "Apologies for - " he wasn't sure how to word it so he only gestured to the several red and angry scratch marks still present on Harry's chest. He had, admittedly, lost control in the heat of the moment. 

"Noooo, don't apologize." He finally looked at Kim, slowly coming back to himself. "That was the sexiest thing that has ever happened to me. You should, um. Do it again. Later! If you don't have the energy for round two. And only if you also liked it. That would be very disco."

Kim smirked down at Harry, who was looking up at him with eager eyes. "Do you have the energy for more, Harrier?" 

He shivered. "I don't know. Probably not. But I'd really like to." 

"You're completely insatiable." Kim said before reconnecting their lips again.

[ghostsferalgremlin]

HORANGI HEADCANONS

Every single thing i'm gonna write down here is how I personally picture Horangi and, as i said in my pinned, if you don't like it scroll away, bye bye.

                                  ................

• He is an idiot, not in a bad way, but in a genuine way.

It's not like he is dumb or something, but he goes on with his days by core memory and that only, this leads to something happening every five - ten minutes or so.

• This man is the definition of feral and they send him on the field like he's a wild animal ready to take down anyone.

He has fun, let's be real, he finds it funny when he hit targets and put down enemies even at hands in hands combat, he lives for it, also he's always ready for a fight, both on and off the field, big grin on his face.

• He lives to scare people.

The dark rituals skin? Yeah he asked for it and i picture the red parts to be reflective so they're only visible on certain lights. Tecnically speaking, i picture it to be good when they need backup or snipers looking over them at nigh, practically he walks around the base in the middle of the night with it on just to scare the shit out of whoever cross his way in the dark.

• He knows he's pretty but the mask stay ON.

Let's be real here, the man know how pretty he is, i picture him using his look to go away with things before joining the army, or before they ruined his face. He still thinks he looks good, but part of his brain refuses to take the mask off not because he's scared they cpuld find him in the base, but because he hates to see the looks of pity of the poeple when they see how he is right now.

• Your food? Nop. HIS food.

If you eat something different than what je's eating be ready to say gpodbye to it 'cause he will definitely ask for a bite, and it's never just a bite. Never. He knows how to do the puppy eyes and knows how to use them.

• He never spoke with anyone for a whole year.

I picture him not knowing any english when he joined and, while he was still learning, he never spoke or never answered to anything in a whole year, both because he didn't know how and because he kinda felt bad not being able to speak correctly. When he started tho it was the end, man never shut up.

• He's tiny.

Listen, i get that canonically they did him almost the same height as König, but i can't help to picture him being like 1.75/1.80 max. And compared to others? He is indeed tiny. Once König picked him up like it was nothing and he never recovered from that.

• Bisexual king.

He's way too chaotic not to be a bisexual, idk what else to say about this.

• His ringtone is a nightmare and once Oni fought him to change it.

His ringtone? Ring ding dong by shinee. Not because he actually likes it, but because he knows how mad people gets when it starts ringing and they can't so nothing to shut it down. He even dance on it just to piss the others off even more.

• Other than that? Man lis a metalcore baby.

He loves it, he lives for it, he knows every band on this planet, he just really likes it. Sometimes he even listen to deathcore or heavy/nu metal, but metalcore? You can find him knowing every word of every song possible.

•Feral, but he gets hurt pretty easily.

Listen, he loves to piss people off, but he also keeps reminding them how much that's his love language and how he keeps doing it cause he loves having them around. When they look genuinely pissed off? This hurts him and he goes days without doing anything because he really thinks people actually hates him, he's hurt by it and it took the same person to say out loud that they care about him to stop the bad thoughts he has.

                                  ................

[seducemefanficsandheadcanons]

Ending Unplanned

Trigger warning for descriptions of a seizure aura

Cross posted on Ao3

Chapter Three- Everybody Dies

I don't wanna cry, some days I do

But not about you

It's just a lot to think about the world I'm used to

The one I can't get back

At least not for a while

I sure have a knack for seeing life more like a child

It's not my fault, it's not so wrong to wonder why

Everybody dies

And when will I?

Everybody Dies- Billie Eilish

The last few weeks had been less than easy for Aron. Her health had been giving her an excessive amount of issues and pain, leaving her pretty much bed bound at times.

On this day however, she felt well. Maybe not great, but good enough to go to a single dance class or work out. She was walking through the kitchen, planning on pouring herself a bowl of cereal. One of her arms was numb and locked into an odd position from dystonia, her muscles contracting, so she was struggling a bit, trying to maneuver around the kitchen one handed. 

She was standing at the counter, an empty bowl on it next to the large bag of cereal she was struggling to pour one handed. Her head started to feel fuzzy, her vision slowly tunneling. She felt a sudden sense of dread wash over her, an unrelenting feeling that something was terribly wrong.

“Want some help?” Sam asked from the doorway of the kitchen.

“Uh- cereal…or…not- may,” Aron tried to speak, but the words jumbled in her mind, a feeling of confusion washing over her. 

Her mental state showed on her face, her eyebrows furrowed slightly and a blank look in her eyes, a hint of fear mixed in the lifeless look. She felt frozen in place, eyes focusing on random items in the kitchen as she stood there, but her eyes wouldn’t stay in one spot for more than a few seconds.

She heard Sam say something, but she didn’t know what. She felt her shoulders start to twitch, her locked arm contracting farther, the other starting to tense.

She blinked and then suddenly she was slowly walking to the living room, Sam's hands on her shoulders as he led her. She blinked again and suddenly he was helping her onto the couch.

This wasn’t the first time he or the other boys had helped her when she was having issues with her health; despite the arguments she’d have with some of them. 

She’d been treated worse and had her health neglected by people who were supposed to help, whereas the incubi, who didn’t have to, went out of there way to help. All five of them learned ways to help between talking to Aron and Melody about it and experience over time. 

They learned her boundaries and what she needed even when they didn’t need to; she was unbelievably grateful for that.

“Do you have on any necklaces?” Aron heard him ask her, but all she could do was look at him. She wasn’t even completely sure she was hearing him correctly, more focused on trying to stay calm as anxiety burned in her chest.

Aron watched as he frowned slightly and moved her hair out of the way to look at her neck. Since she’d been in such a bad flare up, she was not wearing any jewelry aside from her bracelets.

At some point, he called Melody from her room, but Aron hardly noticed. Any awareness she had was gone, all she could do was try to hold on to her consciousness; her name, a memory, anything to calm her.

Aron sat at the table, soft conversation echoing through the dining room. She sighed and stared down at her plate with a blank expression. It was the first day of living in the mansion, and already she felt lost. Here she was, eating dinner with incubi, listening to them all talk as if nothing were wrong.

She looked at Melody, who’s shoulder’s were tense as she ate. She seemed just on edge as Aron was.

She shrunk into her seat slightly, taking slow bites of the food the brothers had made. She didn’t speak, mind foggy with shock and grief.

The thought of her grandfather made her movements slow even more. It felt surreal. He was one of those people who was always there to lean on, always trying to make people smile. She knew he was going to die eventually, everyone dies but…she never could have prepared herself for it.

At the thought of her grandfather, suddenly puzzle pieces connected in her mind. 

Her grandfather had brought demons over from the plains recently, five of them. 

Right after his death, five demons appeared in his mansion…

Her eyes shot up, looking around at the incubi with a shocked expression. Fuck my life, she thought to herself.

Her eyes met Damien's, who nodded at her, signaling that they were the same demons. Aron simply nodded back, looking back down to her food. After a few moments, there was finally a minute quiet enough that she felt comfortable speaking up.

“So, um…where are you guys staying at? I assume you don’t live in Chicago…” she asked softly.

James hummed. “Well, we’ve been traveling since arriving here. We had a few more destinations planned before our funding was cut off…” he said, his tone vague.

“And…you were the demons my grandfather brought over here?” she asked, wanting a verbal confirmation.

“Wait, you knew Harold?” Matthew asked in shock.

Aron nodded in response. “Yeah, he-” she paused, unable to bring herself to say the word ‘was.’ instead of ‘is.’ She didn’t want to acknowledge he was gone. ”-he’s my grandfather.”

Melody gently placed a comforting hand on Aron’s arm as the room fell in uncomfortable silence, grief filling the air. She heard a muffled curse from Sam, but ignored it.

“Miss, I would like to tell you that we are very sorry for your loss,” James told her.

“Yeah, he was a really great guy,” Matthew agreed.

Aron nodded, feeling an ache in her chest. “Yeah, he was…”

“So, um. Did you guys live here before or something?” she asked.

“No, but his spirit led us here,” Damien explained.

Aron couldn’t help but smile softly. “Really? That’s good…”

“So what are you guys planning on doing now?” she then asked.

Sam grumbled something about her asking so many questions. “Hush, Sam,” Erik told him.

“What? I’m not wrong! She’s basically interrogating us,” he retorted.

“Hm, I wonder why,” Aron countered, sarcasm and boredom tripping from her tone. “Maybe it has something to do with the fact I found incubi that I’ve never met before half dead in my grandfather's house, then got my energy drained so much that I passed out before I could ask any helpful questions because SOMEONE kissed me!” By the end of the sentence her bored tone turned into shouting, glaring daggers at the demon as rage burned in her chest.

Sam’s glare matched hers. “What do you want me to do? You forgave Erik!”

“Erik apologized! You haven’t even attempted to say sorry.”

“Well- I-” he groaned in defeat. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, now you're sorry, now that I’ve said something,” she laughed incredulously.

“I am! Really, it was impulsive, and stupid and I shouldn’t have gone so far, alright?” he combed his hand through his hair, seemingly frustrated with himself. “Just- I’m sorry.”

Aron looked at him for a moment before nodding, satisfied. “It’s okay. Thank you for the apology.”

He looked at her for a moment before simply nodding, grumbling as he went back to eating.

She sighed and looked at the others. “Damn girl,” Melody mumbled with restrained laughter.

“What, was I wrong?” Aron said back, matching her hushed tone.

She shook her head. “No, you weren’t.”

Aron nodded and sat back in the chair, taking a deep breath to calm down. “Anyways…what are you planning on doing now?” she asked, looking at Sam to see if he was going to speak. He did not.

James explained that they weren’t entirely sure. They weren’t exactly able to just purchase a house on the spot, nor could they afford a hotel. And they were sure if they left, they’d be hunted.

Aron nodded along, feeling conflicted with herself. She looked over at Melody for a moment before gesturing to her to get up with her. “Be right back,” she told the boys as she stood up.

Melody furrowed her brows in confusion but did as Aron said, following her out to the lobby.

Once they were out of earshot, Aron spoke- voice still quiet as a precaution. “What are you thinking?”

“Uh, what?” Melody asked, confused.

She huffed. “About the boys. What do we want to do? Because this is your house too, and I won’t make any decisions you don’t agree with.”

“Are you thinking about letting them stay?”

“I don’t know!” Aron said. “I mean, my grandfather knew them, so I’m trying to hope that the situation with Sam and Erik kissing me was a one time issue. But like- I dunno, it’s messy and I’m still pissed the fuck off.”

Melody nodded. “Yeah…like, I don’t trust them but I feel bad. We can’t just kick them out to the street.”

Aron sighed dramatically. “Yeah, I know.”

“So, are we letting them stay?” she asked.

Aron nodded. “Yeah, there's room for them. Once whatever attacked them is gone, we can reevaluate to see if they should leave.”

“That works,” Mel agreed. “Are you gonna tell them?”

“Ugh, I don’t wanna say anything at all. You should tell them,” Aron said.

“Girl, no,” Melody argued. “You tell them.”

“You tell them!”

“No, you tell them!”

“You tell them!”

“You tell them!”

“Ugh, fine! I’ll tell them,” Aron agreed, the two laughing at this point. They always had mini arguments like this, it was fun and amusing.

They walked back into the kitchen, sitting back down at the table. Aron had a smile on her face, despite her attempt to hold it in. She got like this when she was nervous sometimes. She tried to hold it in while she spoke. “Okay, you guys can stay.”

Aron looked around the living room, confusion etched on her features as she tried to remember what happened. Her wrists were both curled inwards with her hands in tight fists, painful spasms going through them from the dystonia. 

Her lids were heavy with exhaustion that wracked her whole body, her head pounding. She still couldn’t talk, but she was aware enough to know the seizure was over, and based on the way Melody was sitting on the couch with Damien, she’d probably been asleep for a while.

Her eyes found the clock, but she couldn’t read it. She heard Damien answer her unspoken question. “It’s seven p.m. Sam had to leave for work, we told him we could stay with you. You were sleeping by then.”

 She also made a mental note to thank Sam for taking her to the couch, but she was so out of it, the thought lasted no more than a second. She frowned slightly when she processed what time it was. She was gonna try to go to dance class. Having to quit regular classes was probably the hardest thing about her condition.

With her mental permission, Damien took her to her room and Melody laid in the bed with her. Aron fell back asleep soon after he left.

[mvrkieboo]

(2) Now yn girlypop imma hold ur hand when i say this: i'm sorry but hiding things even the most fucked up ones doesn't get u anywhere and it'll eventually come back to bite u in the ass 😣 i fear this is the consequences of not laying it all out there. I get the emotional struggle, shame, guilt, heaviness and all the emotion that surrounds the past, tbh idek if *I* could be upfront with everything. So yk understandable babe.

But like if that's the road that imma choose for myself then i gotta make do with the fact that there's gonna be a part 2 of the fuckassery that has happened before, all bc they didn't know the WHOLE picture and the complete lore 😔😔 so I fear the reactions are completely justified.

Bc looking at her friends and family's perspective, i would've thought that everything's in the past, how could we know about yoonsu and that she's under duress bc of the chokehold he has against her, like we don't even know yoonsu or this chokehold exists in the first place.

So i fear i can NOT hold them accountable for not realizing smth is wrong with her. And tbh, hoping she could get out of the situation by having someone realize what's going on is like hoping for a fairytale to happen hhh.

Imo it's either having the balls to admit and reveal everything for a chance of survival and truly putting everything behind—no matter how ugly it would go and how bad it would affect everyone, or this scenario 😭 now idk how she's gonna get out of this.

Like girly you're going to die anyway, what else could u loose. If i were jae i'd rather have my career done and my sister alive. But for her to choose that would require some kind of magical divine intervention from the universe, bc realistically i don't think girly is that ballsy.

one of y/n's main characteristic is that she sacrifices so much for the people she loves, that selflessness turns into selfishness.

it's how she's always been. the fact that she'd rather sell herself to be yoonsu's slave than let him go after yuno and her dad for her dead stepdad's loan is the start.

then the fact that she'd rather have yuno mistreat her than letting him know why she didn't keep in contact with him before they officially reunited in that condo's lobby. she'd rather keep him in the dark than let him know what she'd been through because she knew the guilt that would consume him.

then there's this—she'd rather suffer playing yoonsu's game because she knew yoonsu was right—those pics of her will go viral, and he will keep his promise to make it public that the underage stripper in those photos is her, jeong jaehyun's little sister. she knew how much yuno had been waiting for an opportunity to become a singer—she didn't want her past to become a scandal that can stain/end his upcoming career.

her non-communicative issue, also, is stemmed from the fact the trauma never really ended for her. yoonsu did say he was going to come back, and for the whole time she had been living in bliss ignoring her past, she always thought : why talk about it when he's going to come back and have his revenge anyway? this was temporary bliss, it won't last long.

and if you remember correctly, y/n will always remember the last time she spoke with her mother on the night they discovered her stepdad's body—her mother would rather abandon y/n than stay back and watch as y/n rots away as yoonsu's slave, because her mom couldn't handle that kind of burden.

her mom abandoned her because she was going to become a burden. surely, if the people around her came to know that yoonsu was still on the run and looking for her to get his revenge, they were going to abandon her too.

repressing trauma as a coping mechanism + abandonment issues + lack of closure on what she had suffered during her teenage years due to yoonsu escaping authorities = y/n's lack of communication issue.

that lack of communication is why everyone around her can't clock the fact she's actually acting so bizarrely on her part. now, all we have are faultless people, except yoonsu. you can't fault y/n's people for dropping her and you can't fault y/n for playing along yoonsu's fucked up game.

so yeah, you're right—y/n won't ever have the balls to come clean and admit to it. it'd actually be so ooc of her to be ballsy enough to do it.

[bonniehooper]

COMMUNITY REWATCH, 2x06: "Epidemiology"

-HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!!!

-Why is George Takai doing the voiceover for this episode?

-Well, this Halloween party definitely looks better than season one's.

-I forgot Dean Pelton was dressed Gaga. He looks great.

-Britta as a dinosaur is so cute. I love that they gave Gillian the cutest costumes last season and this season.

-Annie as Little Red Riding Hood is also really cute.

-Okay, Shirley is clearly dressed like Glinda from The Wizard of Oz, but I get the Miss Piggy joke since she is talking like her.

-Rich from Pottery class? I genuinely don't remember him coming back into the show.

-Is Abed and Troy's costume supposed to be Alien related?

-How did the taco meat turn Pierce into a zombie?!?!

-Love the Halloween intro.

-How do you guys not realize that everyone is turning into Zombies?

-I can't believe Troy just put some toilet paper around his neck and wrist and decided he was a "sexy Dracula".

-Rich, Annie, now is not the time to be flirting.

-Dean Pelton please stop being attracted to the disembodied voice on the phone.

-I love how even in zombie mode, Leonard leaves Shirley alone when she threatens him.

-Annie: "There's some kind of infection at the party making people act weird and bite each other. We need to coordinate an evacuation without causing unnecessary panic." *cut to leonard biting someone* Troy: "Holy crap, Leonard's a zombie." Well, there went that idea.

-*dean pelton locks the doors to the library so no one can leave* Jeff: (pulling on the door) "um? UM?"

-*jeff punches a lady dressed as a bee* Troy: "You punched a lady bee!"

-Troy: "Shouldn't we be barricading the room?" Abed: "I don't know. These guys don't seem so-" *looks out the window to see a bunch of hungry zombies* "I will help you."

-*shows rich checking to see if he was bit and he was* God damn it, Rich!!

-Britta was bit, too? And neither of them told because they thought they were special?!?!?!

-God damn it, Chang! Why would you throw the skate?! Now they have Annie, and you let them into the only place that might have been safe to hide from the zombies!

-Side note, the soundtrack for this episode is quite good.

-How did Shirley and Chang correctly guessing what the other's costume was turn into a make out session?

-*three cat jump scares* Jeff: "What is up with that cat?!" Troy: "Is someone throwing it?" Abed: "Let's keep moving." Jeff: "Let's not keep moving because there is an insane cat down here." Troy: "But what about the zombies?" Jeff: "Back burner, Troy. This cat has to be dealt with."

-*jeff getting attacked by zombies, but sees rich in his suit jacket* Jeff: "That's my jacket! My jacket, you're stretching it! You're stretching it!!" Even while being eaten Jeff cares about his fashion.

-Abed: "Go." Troy: "I'm not going without you." Abed: "Troy, make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end."

-Not Troy and Abed with the Leia and Han reference!

-I can't believe Troy just punched the Dean.

-Dean Pelton: "Are you crazy? How are you going to survive those zombies?" Troy: "I'm going to be a nerd." Dean Pelton: "Better have a Plan B!"

-Why did Troy spank Pierce?

-Troy: "Okay, okay. I've been bit, y'all. Damn. Congrats. You did what zombies do." The annoyance from Troy is so funny.

-Zombie Jeff standing there messing with his phone, while Troy crawls to the thermostat and calls Jeff "cool" is so good.

-I love the fact that Troy and Abed still do their handshake as zombies.

-Zombie Annie studying is so ridiculous.

-I can't believe that Jeff comes out of his zombie state and immediately starts actually texting.

-Were they about to kill Dean Pelton?

-So, they erased their memories?

-Still wondering why George Takai is doing the voiceover.

-Chang leaving a voicemail so that someone would know he slept with Shirley is so funny.

-Troy: "Why did he call me?" Valid question Troy.

[penncilkid]

Hello hello! My name is PK and I'm a fervent enjoyer of non-canon ships. I'm not a fic writer exactly but I've been told "Where's the fic OP" twice now by my friends. So I thought I'd format one of my fic-adjacent ramble sessions for Tumblr!

Pairing: Milo/David [No Sweetheart or Angel, wanted to go easy on myself] [MDNI*] [Let's call this "canon reminiscent /lh]

Word Count: 3.2 K

*(I wouldn't consider this smut by any means but there's a few lines that make me want to add this as a tag)

[As a reminder, I diverge from canon quite a bit with this. This is just one route I could see leading to Milo and David getting together]

My vision for this pair is that they start getting closer in a more than just friends way a little bit after Gabe dies. Not immediately because have some decorum, but it would start during that transition period for David as Alpha. Asher is trying his best to help but is also grappling with the whole Beta thing, so he feels like he's in a complex position. But him and Milo can see that David's not doing great so Milo's like "Fine, I'll bite the bullet" and tries to confront David about it.

At first it's subtle, asking David if he needs help with something, if he wants anyone from the pack to stay after for meetings, if he wants them to pick up a shift so he can have the day off, etc. But David is too stubborn to accept any of it so he keeps brushing them off. This ends up culminating in a "fight" one day where Milo again tries to make an offer that David shoots down. Milo sort of snaps and is like "Alright, what the fuck gives? Why are you acting like you're too good to get help anymore, David?" David says he doesn't know what he's talking about, Milo calls bullshit. It doesn't turn into a screaming match but it's enough of a heated argument that Milo storms out of the den.

In the days following, Milo either calls out sick, switches shifts with people, anything to avoid seeing David. David brushes it off, thinking he's got more important things to worry about if Milo's going to throw a fit. But of course, Ash being Ash means this stuff can't fly for long, so he tells both David and Milo that he needs help with something at an odd time of day and then "coincidentally" doesn't show up. When Milo gets to the den, he's real tempted to get back in his car and leave. It's a mix of still being a little frustrated with David and being embarrassed that this "fight" has gone on for as long as it has. He walks up to David (who was waiting outside for Asher) and is like "Lemme guess, you're waiting for Ash?" "How did you...?" "Fucker told me the same thing."

They do some lighthearted bitching about their friend, which eases the tension. There's a bit of silence and right as Milo gets ready to apologize for speaking out of turn, David apologizes first. He acknowledges that Milo was right in what he said and that he's been struggling with everything changing, but he hasn't wanted it to show on the outside. Milo makes a light jab at David, "Alright well did you really expect that to go over my head? C'mon, David, we've known each other since we were kids. Gimme some credit" To make up for it, the two of them go out to eat, all that's chill. Cut to when Milo gets home, maybe has a drink or two as he's winding down. David sends him a message, confirming he made it home alright (because I've always latched onto the idea that he's super attentive to that given what happened with Gabe). Milo sends David a quick reply and wonders why seeing that message made him feel some type of way (romantic? Who knows, not Milo that's for sure /lh)

Now if I remember correctly, the audio where Angel learns about Gabe, it's been around 3 years since his passing. Keeping this in mind and in the spirit of being canon reminiscent, I think around/after this point is when Milo's feelings for David start to really bubble up. They've been building for awhile, much to his dismay. He's trying to play it cool, but his heart's in his damn throat any time David touches him casually or whenever the two of them are assigned to a job together. And he knows it's getting bad enough where he might lose focus, so he swallows his pride and does what he's been avoiding for months, if not years: asking Asher for advice.

"Alright, look: You and me both know that you had a lil crush on David when we were in high school. How the fuck did you get over it? I'm drowning, Ash." If this conversation is happening on the phone or at Asher's place, cue him yelling to Babe that they owe him 20 bucks (because it's funny to me <3). Asher asks Milo why he wants to get over the feelings so bad and Milo's like "'Cause this is David we're talking about." "So what?" "We've got... history. That complicates shit all on its own." "And?" "....Alright fine, and I'm also terrified he's not gonna feel the same. Happy?" Asher is being the little shit that he is, putting his arm around Milo's shoulder. "Listen. If I know David— And believe me, I do— What ya gotta do is be direct. If he doesn't feel the same, that's one thing. But if you even want a chance, you gotta be straight up with him. If you tried to ask him out casually, he'll just assume you're being friendly because that's what you are right now. Friends." Milo takes all this in and is like, "Nope, just gonna shove these feelings down for eternity." "I'll tell Marie—" "I will beat your ass." He knows Asher has a point though. Any idea Milo might've had could be easily construed as them just chilling as friends. But he doesn't really act on anything for awhile.

Now, before we get into the next phase of this, some added backstory: David had a crush on Milo growing up. I'm thinking a little after high school (won't say college necessarily since I don't picture them in college but like, young adulthood phase). He'd always found Milo incredibly attractive and found his boldness admirable in general. David was constantly thinking about what he had to do for others and how to make the pack look good (since he was the Alpha's kid then the pack Beta). Milo always felt incredibly refreshing to be around. But he figured Milo would never be interested in because David's just himself so he eventually got over it. Cut to that argument him and Milo had a few years back. He remembers that night when they made up because dinner had been fine but all he could do was focus on Milo. It felt nice to just hang out with him without the pressures of being Alpha. And he enjoyed listening to him talk about anything because he always had a strong opinion. I think around then is when his past feelings awoke again but there was a new obstacle: He was the Alpha of the pack. It wasn't like before, things were different. He'd never have a chance to pursue Milo without feeling like he had pushed Milo into a corner somehow. So again, he tried his best to push his feelings down, appreciate and value the friendship he had with Milo and leave it at that. It was enough to just have Milo in his life, even if it wasn't going to go any further.

Back to how these two end up together: the Moonbound Solstice. They're all at David's place, everyone's having a good time together. Milo's chilling, talking to someone from the pack when Asher cuts in and is like "Sorry, just gonna steal him for a minute" "Ash, you can't just— AY okay okay I'm coming" They walk off, somewhere far from the kitchen to minimize the risk of David overhearing. In hushed voices: "Alright, so what's the plan?" "Ash, what the fuck are you talking about?" "Milo, it's the Solstice. This is the perfect time to make a move." "Are you out of your damn mind? This is the last place I should be hitting on— On you know who." "What are you talking about it, it's perfect! The whole pack's here, no one would even notice." "Look, he's already got his hands full hosting the Solstice at his own place for a change. I'm just gonna chill and enjoy the night for what it is." Asher is pouting as Milo walks off, immediately thinking of what he can do to help nudge David Milo's way. (Unhinged alt route: Ash giving Milo a flat so he has to stay the night)

Cut to the end of the night, people are heading out and whatnot. David is subtly trying to get people out because he loves his pack but his senses need a break. Asher (+ Babe, package deal) and Milo offer to stay and help clean, and David lets them since it's only a handful of people. Milo's keeping his cool, vibing to the much lower playing music when: "Babe, what do you mean you have a work call you need to take tonight? Can't it wait?" "Sorry, Ash, I need to be home in the next twenty minutes" "Alright. Guess we're heading early." Milo thinks nothing of it until he makes eye contact with Babe. They smile with a sickeningly sweet wave. Those bastards. Before Milo can try to rope Ash into staying somehow, the two of them are gone.

When Milo and David are alone, Milo tries his best to focus on the task at hand because feelings or not, he's not gonna do a shit job at cleaning so David has to clean up after him. Once the bulk of it is done, David mentions that he needs to grab something from upstairs or maybe says he's going to go change out of his clothes (I imagine he put on something better looking but not as comfortable for the solstice). Milo's chill with that, getting his keys, phone, other personal belongings together. He happens to slip into the kitchen though, stealing a bit more of the food David had made for the solstice. While he's stealing (said with love), he hears very close to his ear: "You can take some home if you want." He nearly punches David, gripping his arm as he tries to slow his heart rate. "You tryin' give a guy a heart attack, Shaw (/lh)" because he legit didn't hear David come back downstairs. "Maybe if you weren't busy trying to steal some food, you would've heard me— Greer (/lh)." Milo rolls his eyes with a grin and there's a moment of quiet when he realizes his hand is still on David's arm.

He lets go, clearing his throat, confirming that it's actually cool if he wants to take some of the food home with him. David says sure, giving him a container to fill (or Milo takes whatever the food came in, not sure what I'm picturing David's cooking set-up to be). David walks Milo to the door (as a good host does) and the two of them talk in the doorway for a few minutes about upcoming jobs, responsibilities, all that formal shit. There's another quiet moment as the two of them watch each other. Inside, Milo's like "Alright, no one else is here. This is as good a chance as any." The second he gets ready to ask David out on a more proper date, David instead says "Good night, Milo" and essentially closes the door in his face. Milo stares for a moment before cursing himself in Spanish (my HC), walking to his car and muttering about how "Of course he was just being polite, what the fuck were you thinking?" On the other side of the door, David is groaning into his hands, face warm as he tries to calm down because he came way too close to making a move on Milo.

Intermission (Wow, you're still reading? Damn /pos): I wanted to think of how to push them closer to a confession before they actually get together and eventually settled on "sickfic shenanigans". Insert deliriously sick Milo whose phone died and he can't find a charger for the life of him so David goes over to his place to check on him. Initially, he's trying to get David to leave because "I can handle myself fine". But that doesn't last long because admittedly, he feels like shit and has been for the past 12 hours. The dynamic quickly turns into Milo convincing David to stay then being so sick his filter is hanging on by a thread (/lh). "Why do you have to go rush off so fast?" "Milo, I have a pack to take care of—" "First off, I'm part of the pack— (cue Milo coughing) And second, they'll be fine without their Alpha for a few hours." Milo's playing it off as lighthearted but David can tell he doesn't want to be cooped up inside alone on top of feeling like shit physically. A little later, when Milo's on the verge of falling asleep (as many do while sick), he's like "Y'know, it's fucking wild you don't got a mate, David. Like look at you. Doesn't make sense" David laughs at first, thinking Milo's sick delirious (which he is, but that's affecting his filter, not the validity of his words). He's like "ay, why are you laughing, I'm serious. Look— if I were ya mate, I'd treat ya right. I'd cook, I'd work extra hours so I could see ya, I'd make sure we're the best dressed wherever we go— not to mention, I got a great dick." David writes this off as Milo being sick and spewing nonsense but never forgets the words. Meanwhile, Milo (after getting over the sickness) is convinced he dreamt saying any of that to David.

Back to the present, David's been a bit stressed with work as of late so Asher suggests the pack take a trip/weekend vacation. He says he'll handle figuring everything out, letting David take a backseat this time. They go somewhere, a resort, a hotel, something that involves people having rooms they're staying in. Everyone's having a good time, chilling all day, night rolls around. David's in his room when he realizes he forgot to pack something— can be anything. Toothpaste, a charger, something for his hair, the specifics aren't important. He texts Asher, asking if he has the thing he forgot and Ash is like yeah. David asks Ash which room he's staying in, Ash texts him the room number. David leaves his room, goes there, knocks and waits patiently. Door opens, and who's standing there? Milo, shirtless and in the middle of brushing his teeth or some shit.

David's checking his phone to see if he went to the wrong room but nope, numbers match. "Asher must've made a typo. I just needed to borrow something from him." "Well, what did you need? Maybe I have it." Before David can leave, Milo's busy ushering him in, closing the door so he can finish brushing his teeth before finding what David needs. They're making idle conversation, talking about what they spent their respective days doing. While Milo's talking, David's kind of staring at his back, not processing a word he's saying. Milo turns around and notices and is like "What? Don't tell me there's a bug on me and you didn't say shit? (/lh)" and David is trying to think of a good cover up. Milo tries to lighten the mood, says he's just messing with David before going to find whatever David's looking to borrow. He finds it, hands it over when for a split second, his eyes land on David's crotch. David leaves shortly there after but all night, Milo's like "...That was a boner... why the fuck did he have a boner?" But again, Milo's mind is like "Nah, I'm reading this wrong somehow."

Now, I'm painting a picture: it's the next day, Ash, Milo, David, few others from the pack plan on doing something together while on the trip. Asher gets there a bit late but is somehow on time compared to David, who shows up minutes after (that man was up all night pining). Ash notices Milo's not here yet and has a devious idea (as always). He asks David to go check on Milo so they can go. "Why me?" "You were the last one here, it's only fair. Now shoo." David rolls his eyes but goes, getting to Milo's room, knocking. He can hear Milo's definitely inside because he's cursing and complaining. He knocks again before the door swings open to reveal a mildly disgruntled Milo Greer (my vision is he's in pants and a white tank with his name chain. The in between outfits outfit).

He asks what David is doing there, David explains that Asher sent him to pick up Milo, Milo's like "What time is it— Jesus fucking Christ." The issue at hand is Milo can't find an article of clothing that he swears he put in his bag. He's been trying to get by with alternative options but none of them look the way he wants them to, which is making him quietly lose his shit. David stifles a laugh, to which Milo lasers in on. "And what do you think you're laughing at?" "You haven't changed since we were kids, that's all." Milo scoffs but admittedly, the sentiment puts a smile on his face. Almost immediately after that moment, he finally finds what he was looking for (tucked under something, irrelevant right now). He starts to get ready, pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up but let's say a button or two is fighting him for whatever reason. Without a second thought, David walks up, buttoning it for Milo. Milo's having an internal moment as a result, staring at David's hands then his face. David finishes and looks up to catch Milo staring. He clears his throat, saying something about waiting in the hall when Milo catches his wrist.

"Can I take you out on a date?" "What?" "I don't know what or where yet, but I just— I know this is probably stupid and I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but Asher's gonna kick my ass if I don't do something so— Can I take you out on a date, David?" David's taken aback. "Wait... so you were serious. That time you were sick. All that stuff you said about being a good mate for me." "THAT WASN'T A DREAM?" Cue Milo letting go of David's hand and nearly cursing himself out, running a hand through his hair because now he's mortified. "I can't believe I actually said all that shit to you—" "Did you mean it?" "Huh?" For the first time, David's not looking at Milo like a friend or pack Alpha. The look in his eyes screams pure, unfiltered attraction. "Yes or no, Milo." Milo's face is hot, "Course I meant it. I'd treat you great if you gave me the chance to show you." David steps closer, gripping Milo's face gently and tilting it up towards his. "Show me." Milo grins before pulling David down to him, the kiss they shared far better than the ones he remembered from spin the bottle games they'd played as teens. This kiss felt deeper and closer than that could ever compare. The moment they break away, gasping for air, Milo's busy unbuttoning his shirt. David asks what he's doing, to which Milo replies "I'm about to savor as much time with you as I can before I have to see Asher's smug face. Unless you'd like to explain how your hair became a mess between the time you left to find me and when you get back?" David laughs before pulling Milo to him again.

So yeah, that concludes this fic adjacent ramble (/lh)! I love rarepairs and rambling, so if people enjoy this, I may format some other rambles as they arise. I think I've got some Sam/David tucked away somewhere, so let me know. If you actually read all of this, wow, okay, thank you (/lh /pos)

[phoenix-flamed]

Okay, so. Time to do a rewrite/revision of an old headcanon post, one detailing my thought process behind my Elwin's resurrection and how it worked, as well as an account of more of my headcanons for how the Phoenix's magic works in this regard and why it isn't an ability to be used lightly. It may be somewhat graphic at some points, so I'll stick it beneath a Read More! (And don't worry, I'll tag the post, too.)

Alright, I know I've detailed this all out before, but given how long ago that was, a revisit to the concept certainly can't hurt. It's meant to be a more technical description, rather than something for the sake of body horror; that being said, I'm going to try to be as thorough as I possibly can be without any medical knowledge.

Putting it bluntly, yeah, Elwin died. Decapitation isn't something you just get up and walk away from, if you're an ordinary human being. Ordinarily, anyway. (Although I will never pass up a chance to make Dullahan jokes.) When Joshua tried to step in to protect Elwin from the traitor soldiers, just as he'd promised Clive he would do, Elwin's attention shifted from them and over to Joshua -- and we all know the consequence of that split second of distraction before he'd tried to defend against the soldier.

So how, then, did he come back to life?

Magic. ... Which isn't untrue. I know it's bending the lore, because if I remember correctly, Clive says that the Phoenix's power can't bring people back from the dead -- but I'm willing to bite that bullet and stick with this regardless. The Phoenix's fire magic can both heal and harm; the Eikon is expressed to have the power over life and death, in that context. I'm taking that and running with it literally too, and no one can stop me, not even the writers.

In Elwin's concept art, the sheathe of his sword has a set of feathers tied to it. My headcanon is that these are Phoenix feathers, gifted to him by his father as a symbol that he'll always be there to watch over and guide his elder son. When Elwin was killed in front of Joshua, Joshua lost control of Phoenix's power and Primed, thanks to presumably the trauma of what he'd just witnessed combined with the feeling that he had failed to uphold his promise to Clive. Given his father's body's close proximity to Joshua at that time, he should have been incinerated by the flames, like so many others were between Phoenix's fire and Ifrit's fire.

Now, during that entire encounter at Phoenix Gate, he had of course had his weapon on his hip -- in fact, he'd been preparing to draw it from its sheathe to defend Joshua from the traitors. So his corpse still had his weapon on his person, meaning those Phoenix feathers were right there with him as well.

Those feathers shielded him from being incinerated, and for the most part protected his body from being burned. I say "for the most part" because he does have some burns on his back from the initial burst of flames, courtesy of him having been mostly on his side when he collapsed, with his back towards Joshua.

Onto the fun part!

This next part of the headcanon hinges on the other personal headcanon I have that when Joshua was healing Tyler at Phoenix Gate, the healing started from the inside and worked its way outward, and this is the idea I have for the Phoenix's healing abilities in general. At best it seemed uncomfortable, based on Tyler's reactions to it -- and at worst, it seemed painful. The healing, to me, is less of "healing", and more of "mending". It mends bone, tissue, muscle, skin, anything that is damaged, by bringing it back together as it had been before the injury was sustained. It isn't an instantaneous process, a "poof! Good as new, as if it had never happened" result. It takes place over a period of time, how long being dependent on the size and severity of the wound, and requires a steady stream of Phoenix's magic to be concentrated on the wound until it's fully healed. (Which can be incredibly taxing on the Dominant.) Again, this is all just my personal headcanon!

So when it came to mending Elwin's wound... In short, it was a very lengthy process, one that went on while Phoenix and Ifrit were fighting, and continued during the following hours before the Imperials arrived to kill any survivors. All of his spilled blood had to return inside his body through the wound, likely bringing his head along with it and back into proper alignment with his body.

For a mercy, the cut was incredibly clean, severing his head from his body in one strike. The point of contact, given the position of the sword as it swung towards him and Elwin's posture at that exact moment, should have been his larynx, which will come into play later on in this explanation.

In terms of healing, first and foremost was his spinal cord joining back together; then the spinal vertebrae that had been severed were "stitched" or reformed around that portion of the spinal cord, with the damaged disks and cartilage regrowing to fill the gap between the two vertebrae that had been separated. Then came the rebuilding and reconnecting of the severed muscles, ligaments, nerves...

But most importantly, the veins and arteries.

As soon as the veins and arteries had reattached, and blood was able to resume flowing throughout his body, Elwin regained some semblance of "awareness". I use the term "awareness" loosely; he had no context or understanding of what was going on. Even as the process proceeded far enough along that he could catch brief flashes and glimpses of the world around him, he couldn't usually make out more than obscured figures that he couldn't identify. The only two things he was truly "aware" of were the sensations of pain, and heat from flames -- with the prior being courtesy of his wound's mending process and the burns upon his back.

Of course, the last to reform and reattach together were the layers of skin. As stated before, this procedure wasn't a magical, good-as-new situation; there was some damage left behind, in the form of scars. Scars on his back, and, most notably, the scar encircling his neck from the location of the beheading. Because of the location of the decapitation, the larynx, his vocal cords had also been severed, of course; initially, he was barely able to speak, despite the wounds having mended. Regaining his ability to speak proper was another process in and of itself, spanning years of secret self-training while he was a Bearer -- and even then, his voice was, and never will be, the same as it had been.

There's also the issue of trauma. If the events at Phoenix Gate, the remembrance of how exactly he died, the grief of so many losses(including believing his sons had perished there too), knowing what befell Rosalith and the men, women, and children there(including Jill), and so on, weren't enough, the sensations of pain and burning around him have left him rather shaken to the core. He has frequent nightmares regarding the intense feeling of fire in particular, and in these nightmares, he does see flashes and glimpses of things like Ifrit -- but of course he doesn't know what it is that he's glimpsing. All he knows is that he doesn't understand what he's seeing, and it haunts him.

Many a time, the scar around his neck will begin to hurt -- more specifically, most of the time it feels as though it's burning. It isn't actually burning, of course. This sensation is psychosomatic, and is a trauma-based callback to the heat and flames surrounding him during The Night of Flames.

Uh. I think I covered everything? If not, then oops.

[ungalossimp]

Ungalo thoughts :

non-verbal headcanons + f/o thoughts

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✧･ I've been semi non-verbal for a while now (autism burnout + trauma response + social anxiety goes brrr). Which means I can't bring myself to talk to anyone, even if I really want to. It even happens when I'm alone.

The words / sentences form in my mind but then I freeze. The words rush in my mind but I can't talk, so it "piles up" in an overwhelming way. It's not only exhausting to talk, it can also feel terrifying - I feel a lot of pressure. I also struggle a lot to maintain eye contact during those moments.

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When things get difficult I imagine Ungalo hugging me / being with me, and it helps a lot. I bet he would understand and help me as much as he can :3

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✧･ He wouldn't force me to talk / get annoyed, and he'd know I can still listen to him - in fact I could hear him talk about his hyperfixation for hours (>ω<✧) ❣

He'd bark at people that try to push me around / get snappy at me because they think that someone being non-verbal gives them the authorization to lash out their frustration at said person. He'd probably bite too at some point x3

(He has the personnality of an overprotective enraged chihuahua with the bite of a crocodile hxhhfcy 🥺)

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✧･ Actually I headcanon that he too can be non verbal. For him it can be triggered by withdrawals / depression / overstimulation, but it also can happen when he's feeling comfy and at peace ; he doesn't feel the need to "mask" by forcing himself to talk.

Finding the words to describe & express his emotions can be a chore, so he's glad he doesn't *have* to do it with me like he does with a lot of people.

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✧･ The other people he's comfortable being non-verbal with are his brothers :3 - even Donatello ! Turns out Ungalo's big brother likes to and pretend to be a jerk, but he's also very protective of his bros and feels very proud that they can count on him (don't tell him it's not just pride, it's also out of love cause he'll Underworld you - he's such a tsundere)

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More explanations / headcanons on Ungalo being semi non-verbal :

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✧･ For him the words often don't form "correctly" in his mind. Sometimes it goes entirely blank - he doesn't know *what* word describe how he feels, or he can't find the words. In theory he *knows* the words, but as soon as he has to speak it becomes a struggle. He sometimes needs a lot of time to 1) analyse the situation / how he feels 2) find the right words. It's one of the reasons why he loves writing so much - words come more easily, and the whole process of writing offers him more time to think about what he's going to say.

✧･ Sometimes the words that come into his mind won't describe his feelings properly, but they escape too quickly because there is no filter between his mind and his mouth when he *has* to talk. It even goes as far as making him say the contrary of what he's feeling. It's like trying to pass and filter a rushing river through a minuscule faucet.

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✧･ Those two situations / reactions might seem very different, but concerning Ungalo they both are a facet of the same coin.

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✧･ Ungalo venting about being semi-non verbal and "people sucking" (+ him talking about Donatello & being proud :3) :

"It's frustrating as fuck, people want me to find shit to say... And then they get pissed at me when it's not perfect enough ??? Motherfucker, I DIDN'T want to talk in the first place ! I only said something cause you made me feel bad for not speaking.

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And when I'm still not talking they think I'm mad at them so they try to start shit and ficking interrogate me ??? It's like... Fuck, you're not my parole officer, I don't owe ya any explanations. I was just vibbin ! But NOW I'm mad because of you, you stupid shit !!!

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God dammit, this is why I don't like people. Hanging around them suck. Well except you babe. Err... And my siblings too I guess - even Donatello.

He's kind of a a jerk but at least he *gets me*, ya know ? Heh, maybe we get eachother really well cause we're both jerks. Also I know he's doing an effort to be less of a jerk to me Riki & Giogio, cause he loves us. It doesn't come easy for him but he really tries to be nice y'know, and I dunno if it's really workin for now, but at least he's trying and I'm so fucking proud of him.

...

Huh... Anyway please don't tell him I said that, cause he's going to kick my butt and I don't want to be burried alive or be stuck in a plane crash or some shit"

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✧･ Usually during those moments we just cuddle and kiss in a bundle of comfy blanket. And we eat sweets while watching cartoons - I like chocolate and Ungalo loves those acid sugary candies that make the mouth feel like it's melting. Ungalo becomes so much more cuddlier, he gets clingy like a little pup.

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✧･ Of course I'm beyond happy to provide all the cuddles he needs. Having a sappy Ungs follow me around is definitely a not a bad experience (◕‿◡✧) ~ ❤️✨.

Coincidentally (/s) , I also happen to make a lot more hot chocolate - which he *loves* - when he follows me to the kitchen.

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✧･ I'm the same as him, when I'm non-verbal I express my affection a lot more physically. But I also get shy out of nowhere, and a lot of things overwhelm me more easilly. It's alright though, Ungalo is patient when it comes to it.

We're holding hands a lot more, and I love to bury my head into the crook of his neck and just... Breathe in (>///<✧) while we chill together. Objectively he doesn't often always smell good, but I like it because it's *his* smell ; it's a huge source of comfort to me (◡‿◡✧) ❣ ✨

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✧･ There are many love languages other than spoken words ; none of the affection we have for eachother will ever be left unexpressed 🥺❤️✨

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Tomboy Giantess Flirts With You

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oooh, who's that down there? They look pretty cute. Hopefully they won't mind if I give them a bird's eye view~"

...

"Yoink! Heh heh~"

"Woah. Chill, little one. You're acting like I'm gonna bite your head off or something. I mean... I'll admit. You do look like a snack. Don't take that literally though. I may be... You know... Huge. But I'm not a monster. Not in a moral sense at least."

...

"See, that's the thing. Ever since monster people integrated into human society, everyone has been frustratingly cautious around giants specifically. Dragon-kin? That's fine. Slimes? No problem. Fairies? Oh, everyone loves fairies."

"But for some reason, giants are feared way too much. Even by other monster folk. Why do so many people assume that Big = Scary? It's like everyone forgot that giants are abiding by human laws. We're not gonna do anything bad."

...

"Ugh... Sorry. We just met & I'm already venting my problems to you like we've known each other for a decade. I should introduce myself before saying another word."

"My name is Colossa. And I'm a giantess who lives near the city."

...

"What's so funny? Is it my name?"

...

"Well yeah. We giants always get names befitting our massive size. I'm surprised we're able to keep finding ways to twist big adjectives into names."

"So anyway... What brings a cutie like you out here all by yourself?"

...

"Just a nature walk, huh? Well, if you're trying to appreciate the scenery then how about I put you on my head? Then you can see the world from my point of view."

...

"Oh come on! Don't be that way. Step out of your comfort zone. Live a little. Just hold onto my hair if you're afraid of falling off. Nothing bad is gonna happen."

...

"Nuh Uh! I insist. You're going on top of my head. Just relax. It'll be fun."

...

"Oh My God, you don't need to scream. Haha~ You're not in any danger. Just look at this view! I see the world like this all the time."

"Just hold on tight if you're really that afraid of falling. And even if you do, I'll provide you with a very soft landing. I assure you."

...

"That means whatever you want it to mean. Use your imagination."

"Anyway... This is awesome, right? I can hear you laughing up there. And just a moment ago, you were screaming."

...

"A fearful laugh. Yeah right. Just admit that you're enjoying this."

...

"See? I told you this would be fun. I bet there's plenty of humans out there who wish that a giant would do this for them. The dynamic of our drastically different sizes allows for a world of unique possibilities & fun ways for us to interact with each other."

...

"Oh, you wanna stay up there? That's fine by me."

"Wait a just a damn moment... I just thought of a great idea. How about I go for a walk while you stay on my head? You can pretend like I'm a giant mech that you're controlling. And we can just kinda... Talk about stuff, you know?"

...

"Yeah, that's what I thought. No one would turn down an opportunity like this. Enjoy the ride. And the view of course."

*giant footstep sounds start & go on for... a while. I'll let you know when I want it to stop. lol*

"So... Where are you from?"

...

"The city. Oooh, so we live close. That's convenient. I work in the city. Multiple jobs at that."

...

"Well, for starters... I'm an attraction at the amusement park."

...

"Yes, you heard that correctly. I am one of the attractions. There's a couple things I do. The first goes as follows."

"An attendant ties a bungee cord to one of my fingers. And then they tie that bungee cord to a human."

"After that, they climb onto the palm of my hand, I lift them up &..."

"I use them as a yo-yo!"

...

"Hahahaha! I'm kidding. If I really did that, then the human would be at risk of splatting into my hand on the rebound &... Well, we can't have that."

"What actually happens is the human simply jumping off my hand & letting the bungee cord do the rest."

...

"What if it breaks. What do you think? We have equipment to prevent accidents. Ever since I started this gig, there's never been an incident."

"The second thing I do at the amusement park is act as a swing ride. There's a couple ways I can do this."

"I can either attach a human to each of my fingers using bungee cords & swing them around that way. Or if there's less people, I can just clench them in my fists. Not too tightly of course. It's perfectly safe. Never had an issue."

...

"There are probably other things I could do at the amusement park if I wanted to, but I wanna talk about my other job. I'm a construction worker."

...

"Unsurprising, right? A giant working for construction. It makes all the sense in the world."

"Naturally, I do stuff like building, helping my co-workers with scaffolding & heavy lifting."

"But above all else... I LOVE when I'm put on demolition duty. It's so invigorating! Nothing beats the privilege of getting to break something! Tear it apart! It's great when I've had a bad day & just need to take out my anger on something."

...

"Oh relax. It's not like I have violent tendencies or anything. We all have our emotions. Still though... I suppose it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable in the presence of an angry giant even if they mean no harm. We're just so... Big. We gotta be careful around the smaller folk."

"Speaking of being careful... There's this one co-worker I know in particular. She's a Drider. And lemme tell ya... Driders really hate giant shoes. Must be a deep-rooted fear that bug folk have."

"One time, I didn't notice her below me & almost stepped on her. I felt terrible knowing what could've happened. It took her a few days to warm up to me again. Can't say I blame her. That must've been really scary for her."

...

"Yeah, being a giant isn't always as cool as it seems. There's some perks, sure. It's fun to tower over everything & be super strong. But I have to be so careful. Walking around in the city is a tricky endeavor."

"There's cars, people, infrastructure... One wrong move & something bad will probably happen. I gotta take it seriously. Can't just throw my weight around."

...

"You know you should never ask a girl's weight, right? Hehe~ Don't worry. It's fine. I understand your curiosity."

"I'm 150 feet tall & weigh over a thousand tons. So uh... Yeah. I carry a lot of responsibility within this body of mine."

...

"That's a great question. I'm not sure how I don't stress the streets' weight limit. Hmmm... You know what? Let's not think too much about that."

...

"Why'd I pick you up. Well..."

*giant footstep sounds stop now*

"God, why can't I find the words for this? It isn't that complicated. Um... Hold on. I'm gonna take you off my head now. I want you in my hands for this."

...

"You're really cute &... You know... Good looks usually get a person through the front door &..."

...

"Sigh... I wanna get to know you. I don't know why that was so hard for me to say. It's just... I work with humans all the time, but I've always wanted to establish a personal connection with one. I'm not saying we need to start a relationship if you don't want to. I feel that would come off too strongly. We just met. But I at least wanna go out on a date with you. Maybe we can be friends. Something more if you want."

"Ugh... I sound like such a bumbling mess right now. I wanna state my desires, but don't wanna overwhelm you. And I don't even really know if I'm looking for romance or just a friendship."

"I'm sorry. This is all probably frying your brain, isn't it?"

...

"You... You get it. Really? You understood all of that?"

...

"You'll go on a date with me. For real? Seriously?"

...

"That's so awesome! I could jump for joy right now!"

"Buuuuut I won't. I'd cause some pretty bad tremors if I did that. Don't wanna set off an earthquake because I got too excited."

...

"Yeah, let's discuss date ideas. I can think of a few ways in which a human & giant can mingle. We just need something fun that we can both agree on."

"I'm really looking forward to learning more about you, little one."

------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

[the-firebird69]

Sticking your folks this long to figure out how to make a cracker correctly and it's not really there but it's getting there. We don't like how you boil the oil for an hour before frying but it does clean it you are dirty people we'll make you pay for it though

Some things have happened. People realizing that you're a bunch of jerks in the storm was no joke. We need our son in a safe house and you guys were stupid and not allowing it and the others are not trying hard enough so we're stepping in and that's what we're having that guy say. His Papa's announcing it too and then some mamas. Vulgar weak stupid and don't have any of the math right they're going forgot it. There's a war going on below and Tommy f is not losing that badly there's a lot of troops left my son is right you're easily influenced. You thought they were with you got killed today warlock. Your wise asses you stupid you're dumb as hell. That guy is talking to was shocked in the hybrid car the other guy was shocked too, later heard Garth's goth is doing the job telling people what's going on about clones he lives and he's doing it he says I'm a piece of s***. And he agreed that said hey I was doing what you're doing till he started 20 amount he started pointing them out instead of point him out so much you should know what I'm saying you can't talk about it but people have to know you called them Marauders years ago and nobody was talking about it at all. He was in awe got checks someone says no and then there was a fight with a clone and it started up there it's going all over town when you were in the grocery store there's a lot of that going around and they hate these clones they're getting pushed on tunnels yeah with huge forces massive massive forces they don't want them below them it is on too okay they've seen those ships and it is on the foreigners are fighting them and it's never going to stop until there's a decision or the ships are ruined then they fight over diamonds they did a great job and took forever

Thor Freya

That's what a hell of a grand that's one hell of a giant breakwater all right Craig I mean nothing's massive it gets in the sewer in the sewer is not going anywhere globally wow crap that right out it says I have to play a lot more card games with the guys and some of the gals I guess I'll play cards together it's a good idea winner it gets to get me stuff, says it prefer to have me handed to him and tell me who helped me who helped me I think I like that. Also my freaking out something I figured out something not hot and sweaty and it's making me a little bit hot so I think I'll drink something cool now you know what I'm saying. Says I'm very attractive and a lot of women here are not that great I really have their moments they have to hold it and threaten and do all sorts of gross stuff so I'm quiet now. I saw you looking at that job site. Want to take a piece of there look so good it says gross bite my butt lady.

So I wanted to recount the job site walk see if he can tell me about it

Hera

So I guess he's going to tell me and she says yeah he's going to brush his teeth first

Thor Freya

Olympus

It's a smaller lot than the other that is pretty darn big that one's probably 40 acres the other one's probably 70 or 80 maybe more

Thor Freya

[oh-holy-slut]

Bloodlust

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, blood sharing, mentions of death, oral sex

Word Count: 2,6k

Summary: Stefan forced Damon to try his animal diet. Damon hated it, but didn't had a choice... until Reader makes a suggestion. Suddenly things get steamy.

Being with Damon was complicated. Him and Y/N have seen each other a lot in the past weeks. The two of them had a lot of fun; saw a lot of movies. Actually, Y/N was sure Damon secretly hated many of those. However, anytime Y/N suggested another dramatic, romantic cliché movie like "Last Song" - the vampire groaned, put his arm around her shoulder, let her head rest on his chest and endured every single second of the movie of her choice.

Damon even flirted and teased Y/N here and there, but didn't lead to anything more intimate so far.

Today was another of those days. Y/N stuck around at the Salvatore boarding house, brought a few of Damon's favorite groceries and a bunch of movies, of which she thought that they will suit his taste. Even if they were a little to bloody and brutal in her opinion.

"Pick one!", she demanded, holding all three Blu-ray sleeves in front of him. Damon just shrugged, not bothering to even look.

"Don't be a killjoy, Damon Salvatore!" Y/N sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong or pick a movie. You've got no choice. And besides that... Which number of drink is this?" Y/N frowned, pointing at the liquor in her friends hand. Damon usually consumed his beloved bourbon with pleasure.

But the man on the couch didn't seem pleasured at all. His facial features totally hardened and a look in his eyes like he was ready to rip someone's heart out.

You put the disc's back in your handbag, closing the zipper and put the bag on the floor.

"Fine. No movie night today. Who are we going to kill?"

A small smirk appeared on Damon's lips, finally looking towards Y/N.

"Stefan and his hero hair. He made me go vegetarian... well, for a vampire... and I can't get myself to eat one of those chipmunks, bunnies or bambis." He shook himself with disgust.

"And why did he count you in? You clearly aren't excited about the changing... So, why did you agree?"

"He said, he would kill me, which is kinda funny. But-" Damon made a wide gesture "he stole my daylight ring. And he wouldn't give it back until I stop feeding on innocent people - and kill them."

"So, you truly let your younger brother blackmail you like that?! Wow... I don't know how to feel about your dieting or your new path. Or whatever this is supposed to be."

"You don't like me killing people either", Damon maintained, while taking another sip of bourbon.

"Well, I don't", Y/N agreed, took a step forward, stole the glass from the vampires hand and put it on a small table nearby. "But I don't believe in forcing as a method to get people to change their minds. I believe that change for the better must be an intrinsic motivation," she added quickly, giving the vampire an innocent smile.

Damon's lineaments suddenly turned from annoyed to curious. "Any suggestions, little one?" The vampire raised an eyebrow and a little smirk showed up on his lips. On the one hand, Y/N blushed over the nickname, Damon called her.  On the other hand she felt skittish looking forward to making a deal with him. Not only a deal. It's far more than a simple agreement.

It's Y/N, actually giving Damon a part of her. The red elixir of life. She was about to give him total control of her body and she not even for a heartbeat doubt that Damon will use it against her.

"Actually... Yeah. There's something on my mind." Y/N said chewing on your lip. "I could open up a vein for you. I mean, you could feed on me. And since you have my permission, there's nothing for anybody to have objection about."

Damon frowned and gave her an incredulous look. "You would do that for me?" The vampire couldn't believe, he understood correctly. Why would Y/N want to get involved with him feeding on her? What's in it for her? Damon tried hard to connect the dots, but he wasn't able to. It all seemed to make no sense. Y/N wouldn't have an advantage of that. The vampire hesitated, pinning his dangerously blue eyes on the girl in front of him.

"Is it so suspicious of me, that I'm trying to help my closest friend?" It pierced Y/N's heart, realizing, Damon's trust in her was rather fragile. "Never mind", she waved the pain away and forced herself to keep her composure. "I only had a hasty idea; you really don't need to fee-"

Suddenly Damon appeared behind Y/N, using his vampirism. "Shhhh", he whispered softly. "I never said, that I don't want your blood. I'm thinking about if we are going to cross a line? Blood sharing can be very personal..."

"It can be? It is personal already. Believe it or not - I'm not gonna offer my veins to all the vampires of Mystic Falls." Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms folded on her chest to point out the indignation she felt right now.

"Kinda sensitive today, huh?" Damon gently stroke a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N could hear this smug smirk through his words. It was a true 'Damon thing' to do. "I didn't mean it like that, princess." He sighed; unsure if he should agree or not. Damon didn't want to act selfish towards Y/N. He compelled a lot of girls for the purpose of drinking blood in the past. He literally used them as long as they weren't too annoying - and then he acted like they have never met. Damon Salvatore couldn't imagine this scenario with Y/N. They've been so close, the vampire couldn't stand loosing her. The offer was risky, but it also could bring each other even closer.

Damon tried hard to avoid any serious attraction between Y/N and him, afraid of messing up. Indeed, he found himself thinking, and even dreaming, about Y/N more than he wanted to admit. She was smart and had this special sense of humor, the vampire adored so much. She was the only one, who could make him feel good no matter what. Needless to say she had that glimmer in her eyes, when she did something she truly loved. In these moments she was even more pretty. Y/N was hard to resist.

And maybe now he could have her like nobody else. At least the vampire gave in. He wanted her blood. He wanted her.

Y/N flinched by the feeling of Damon brushing her neck with his lips.  "Oh, Damon", she gasped. "Bite me." Y/N almost begged for the vampire's teeth breaking through her skin. Damon loved the sound of her husky voice. In less than a heartbeat he turned into his vampire shape. "If you insist", he grinned devilishly, ready to place his teeth on to her skin.

Suddenly Y/N made a slight move forward with the intention to interrupt her friend. "Did you change your mind?" Damon was close to switching back to human, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Mostly a lack of understanding, but also a little of disappointment and even anger. Was Y/N playing games on him? While Damon Salvatore was sorting feelings, Y/N turned around, standing now in front of him.

She was so close, not even a piece of paper would fit between them.

Y/N slightly exhaled breath, her eyes darting between the vampires eyes and lips. It was the first time Y/N saw him like this. The icy blue of his eyes, she loved so much, has turned darker. Purple veins appeared under his eyes; Y/N couldn't help herself. Damon's appearance fully intoxicated every fibre of her being. Her fingertips found their way gently brushing over his dark purple veins. She felt heat and softness, while tracing one of them.  It took her a few seconds to get out of trance, realizing what she had done. "Sorry", she murmured with a voice barely audible. "Don't apologize, little one." Damon tilted his head, his lips curled up in a self-assured grin, exposing a perfectly white vampire fang. "I never saw you like this before, you loo-"

"... look like a monster?"

Y/N shook her head. It was nothing like that. Yes, he did look unfamiliar. And she should be scared under normal conditions. Instead, his look hit her in an unexpected way. He looked hotter as a vampire, if it was even possible. 

Y/N cleared her throat, looking up at Damon. "I feel... attracted to you."

"So nothing's changed", Damon teased, raising his eyebrows. The girl in front of him softly slapped him on his shoulder; which was only possible because the vampire permitted. "You are always so full of yourself." She smirked, feeling more confident being to something, they have had been so many times before. Granted, he was terrifying accurate, but she wouldn't serve her feelings on a silver platter.

"I'm still into it. You can bite me; feed on me. I only needed to see you before..." 

A shockwave of electricity flowed through her body the second Damon took her hand and pulled her close.

"I'll be careful", he promised, nuzzling his head into the nap of her neck. Damon once again placed his lips on her soft skin. 

Suddenly a harsh pain made Y/N feel like in a kind of haze. She flinched and let out a groan at the same time, unintentionally biting her lower lip. 

During Damon embedded his fang deeper and deeper, she started feeling dizzy. Her hands searched for the vampires upper body, finally wrapped around his neck. She needed him to lean on. A narrow trickle of blood flowed down her neck. Let Damon feed on her felt like flames licking up every fiber of her body. 

With every passing second Y/N could feel her control slip away. Her body was now firmly pressed against Damon's, like she would want to merge them into one.

Damon noticed her staggering, wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her.

Bloodlust already messed up the vampires mind, so he continued feeding on Y/N.

A tempting moan escaped her lips, but she didn't care to cover up. Y/N's heart was racing, her eyes flattering. It was almost as if he was about to push her over the edge, but in a different way. "Mmm, this...this… feels soo weird... and so good...", she whispered under a shallow breath.

As soon as Damon heard her fading voice, he abruptly

quitted drinking from her.

"Fuck!" He rapidly laid her on his lap and checked Y/N's vital signs, to make sure she was okay. Instinctively he bit his wrist, pressed it against Y/N's mouth. He knew his blood would heal her, but it wasn't going fast enough. A few seconds passed through, to him they felt like centuries. Y/N finally blinked and Damon was relieved. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze never leaving hers. "I thought, I'd gone-" Damon cleaned his throat. "I'm so glad, you are doing well", he whispered, while trailing her lips with his fingertips. "So, fuckin' glad..." The vampire exhaled a deep breath. 

"It... You made me feel good. Strange, but good", Y/N appeased and flushed over the memory. "Maybe you got a little carried away, but I don't mind. I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything."

Y/N quickly interrupted herself, before she could reveal too much.

However, Damon used his vampire skills, noticing that Y/N was hiding something from him. "Isn't there anything else you want me to know?", Damon asked without taking his eyes off her. Y/N shifted and flushed even more. "It's unfair. You use your vampirism to get everything out of me."

"Well, if that were the case, I could easily compel you." Damon shrugged and found back to his smugly self. "Tell me, what you are hiding". He said in a seductive voice.

"I wanted to get lost in you."

Her confession sent shivers all over the vampires body. At first he could not decide, how to handle this. "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you..." Y/N hummed.

In the next split second, Damon pinned Y/N against a wall, smashing his lips on hers, kissing her with all the passion he had to give. The vampire devoured Y/N with a new kind of hunger. He didn't know he could crave someone so much.

"Fuck me, Damon..."

The vampire felt him getting hard, only by hearing those little three words out of her mouth.

"Say it louder. Tell me, what you want me to do."

Y/N pulled him closer, gently biting his earlobe.

"Fuck... me, Damon." It took her a second to focus and forming the words again. After she was near to climax earlier, it wasn't a long way getting to the edge once more. "Make me cum... You almost had me there..."

A deep moan got over the vampires lips, once he understood, what Y/N was trying to tell him.

With the next blink Y/N found herself in Damon's bedroom, lying on his bed.

From now on there weren't many words needed. Damon's hand's found their way under her shirt, cupping her breasts and make her moan over and over again.

He closely listened to the rhythm of her heart, making sure he would be able to delay her climax to the point he needed her to.

"Don't cum yet... I want to taste your little pussy first."

Y/N grabbed the vampires head, running her fingers through his dark hair - pushing him down, since she was unable to form a single word.

As Damon got down, he didn't take his eyes off Y/N.

He used a hand pushing up her skirt and lightly stroking over her panties with his fingertips.

"My girl is so wet", he praised in a low husky voice."-and I barely touched you."

His dirty words in combination with his touch lead to another moan, almost turned into a scream.

Damon pushed the fabric aside, leaving sloppy kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Y/N's eyes fluttered, when his soft lips reached her middle.

Damon's tongue licking around her entrance was driving her nuts.

"...so delicious..." were the only words she was able to catch up. Damon knew, he couldn't thrill her forever, so he got back to her. He spit on his palms, stroking his hand over his crotch. In under a second Y/N finally felt this releasing pressure of his cock. It was like a switch went off in her brain and she braced herself for the hard thrusts that would follow.

Damon dimmed the whining noises Y/N made with a passionate, hungry kiss.

He cheated with his vampirism to give it to her deeper and faster, knocking out all the air of her lungs while Y/N screamed out Damon's name. Her walls clenched around him and made him twitch. It was like her pussy massaged his dick the best way possible.

Every time he hit her harder and rougher he was making sure he hit her spot with every thrust.

Damon gathered speed one last time and pushed her over the edge until she was a moaning whimpering mess.

With her last contraction around his shaft, Damon was cumming inside her.

"You are so tight, little one", he whispered under his breath. "We should make arrangements more often."

Please like or/and reblog if you enjoyed reading or/and want me to write more stories about Damon.

Thanks guys ❤️

[erensrag]

bimbo!reader x judgmental nerd eren

eren x y/n (wc: 3173)

warnings: nswf, slut shaming, slight dubious consent

i don’t think i did this correctly….

"no please, take your time. it's not like we've been here for hours." eren's sharp voice brings you out of your thoughts.

his piercing gaze is right there to meet yours when you finally stop staring at the wall. you chew on your pencil, quickly diverting your attention to the paper in front of you. you've done your best to avoid looking at him the majority of the time you've been here.

it's not your fault you can't look into his eyes for longer than a second. he's the one who's always observing you with that cold, calculating stare. you've been on the end of judgmental looks and not so quiet whispers for years now and have learned to not let them bother you—well you thought you mastered the art of simply ignoring those kinds of people. until eren.

you didn't even know he existed until a few weeks ago. the introduction for you two consisted of a simple bumping into each other in the crowded hallways of school, it ended with him bitterly muttering something about idiot cheerleaders as he stumbled away. not even sparing you a second glance. after that, you saw him often and he made his dislike for you evidently clear.

which makes no sense. how can someone not like you?

it's usually jealous girls giving you the stink eye and making up the ridiculous rumors. they're the ones who don't want to associate themselves with you. not nerdy nobodies who can't walk without stumbling over their own two feet. no, people like him usually worship the ground you walk on. or at least drool a little.

seriously you've tried everything to get rid of that menacing stare and frigid tone he always greets you with. it's like he's immune. "jesus y/n, how dumb are you?"

and they definitely don't talk to you like that. you know you're not the brightest, which is why your teacher got this jerk of a nerd to tutor you right before exam week but is that really an excuse for him to treat you like this? biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge a corner of your sweater until your left shoulder is exposed. leaning forward and batting your eyelashes which gets no response from him other than a blank stare. "i'm not dumb. i just don't get it." you pout. "can't you just tell me the answer? we've spent like thirty minutes on this question."

"thirty minutes cause you're an idiot." he mutters more to himself.

"i'm trying my best!"

"you should've learned this months ago. you would've if you didn't spend your time skipping class to hang out with your pig muscle boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend..." you go back to chewing on the pencil.

"so you just make out with any guy behind the bleachers?"

"you seem to know a lot about me." you look at him again, that stupid cold stare looking back at you through those glasses.

"who doesn't. you're y/n. the whole school knows of your...activities."

"those are just rumors." some of them are. most are true. you enjoy living life to the fullest. it's not your fault the people in your school saw a confident, attractive woman and instantly decided to put less than appealing labels on her. "and besides they're none of your business."

"whatever. just solve this, this is taking longer than our usual sessions and my mom will be home soon."

you groan, looking down at the textbooks and not understanding a single word. “please just tell me the answers.” you ask one last time, desperate.

“no.”

you huff, returning your attention to the book. “you’re going to age badly with all that scowling you do. just so you know.”

“shut up.”

"eren..." you say after five minutes which causes a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. "do you have an issue with me?" it's been four sessions of the frigid tension he always puts between you two and there's a lot more to come before graduation so you just want to get whatever problems he has with you out of the way.

it takes a few seconds before he's looking up from the textbook, pushing his glasses up as he sends you probably the most intimidating glare you've seen from him. "excuse me?" the very tone of his voice has goosebumps forming on your skin but you force yourself to stand your ground. you're not going to let some loser who's probably never even kissed someone to look down on you.

"you— you just seem to—"

"i don't have an issue with you y/n." he slams the book on the table causing you to jump. "having an issue with someone like you would imply i care enough and trust me i'll never care for such a ditzy little slut who doesn't respect herself."

you've been called worse than that and usually by scorned boys you hooked up with. but they were popular gym rats, not some overconfident lanky freak. you had a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but with the cogs in your brain suddenly malfunctioning, you could only stutter out a pathetic, "i—i'm none of those things!"

"really?" he scoffs, actually getting up and walking over and as he does you think maybe it would've been a safer option to just keep your mouth shut. "wide doe eyes without nothing behind them. check." he starts. "plump lips perfect for what you do best. check." and the asshole has the nerve to slowly swipe his fingers across your bottom lip.

you should stand up, tell him to go to hell and get out of here but you're frozen. limbs not moving an inch as he continues, "empty little head. check. skimpy outfits to attract attention. check. i mean let's face the facts.."

you never would've thought the loser that always sits in the back of the class with his nose buried deep in a book would speak like this to you. it's insulting. freaking degrading. he knows nothing about you and yet he has that expression on his face like he does. "if i'm such a ditzy little slut as you so nicely put then i'd be jumping at the chance to hook up with you but here we are." you seethe.

that seems to finally strike a nerve as he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. you cut him off before he can defend himself.

"is that it...you're angry i haven't made a move on you because that's what sluts do isn't it? bone everything they see? is your pride wounded that i don't see you in that way, eren?" you let out a mirthless laugh. "well news flash, pretty girls like me don't go for freaks like you."

you got up, ready to grab your things and run out all while trying to ignore the nerves inside of you. he just stands there, rigid and glaring. "really?" he asks once your books are back in your bag.

"y—yes. now if you'll excuse me—" your wrist is being grabbed before you can take another step and for a second both of you are stunned, you mostly frozen in your spot because this creep has the audacity to touch you after everything he just said. you don't know what his excuse is but he only stands there like a shocked puppy before pushing you on the desk.

a gasp escapes your lips at being manhandled by him  of all people, what the fuck is he doing? you're on your stomach, feet on the ground as the fucker puts a hand on your back, keeping you there. "w-what are you doing?" you pant out, bewildered at everything that just happened.

"i..." he trails off, not saying anything before manhandling you again. only this time it's for you to lay on your back and fuck, you could fight back. he's surprisingly strong for such a lanky freak but you're a cheerleader who does complex moves out on the field almost every day. you could kick him off, slam that big textbook in his face to the point his nose breaks and run out, making sure to report him.

but you don't. it's not that you can't. for some reason, you just don't want to. maybe it's curiosity, to see what exactly he plans on doing. to see if a loser like him actually has the balls to do anything but back away and apologize profusely.

"you're not fighting back." he simply says, sounding a bit confused as he comes to lean over your body. his hands on either side of your head as he stares down, those stupid piercing eyes staring down at you. "why?"

"shouldn't i be the one asking the questions here? like why the fuck you have me on this desk?"

he raises an eyebrow, leaning back and grabbing your thighs causing you to squeal in surprise. he spreads them, raising the dress you’re wearing until it's pooling at your stomach before you can even blink.

shit. what's wrong with him?

what's wrong with you? you should be kicking at him, you could easily shove him off. you could do it in a blink of an eye so why the hell aren't you.

where there's supposed to be fear...there's only anticipation. "you really are a slut." he laughs cruelly, pulling your panties down until they're completely off. where he throws them, you don't know. probably in some corner to hide so you forget about them, who knows what a pervert like him would do with it?

"you barely know me and yet...look at this." you shudder as his finger circles your clit before swiping across your cunt, bringing his hand up to show you your slick as if for emphasis.

"shut up." you grit through your teeth. "you're—" you don't have time to finish your insult before he's kneeling down, tongue immediately latching onto your clit.

your nails instantly scrape against the desk, shuddering as he begins to suckle on your clit. his tongue delves into you, fingers digging into your thighs on purpose as if the freak wants to hurt you. you can play that game too if he wants, fingers going to grab at the strands of his dark hair, pulling as you ground your hips against his annoyingly experienced tongue.

usually, your sexual partners don't willingly choose to eat you out but here is he. practically eager to get to business. he acted so high and mighty and still has the gall to continue doing so yet he's the one on his knees right now. freaking nerds are so easy. even overly judgmental ones with sharp gazes.

he’s basically lapping at you, moving from sucking your clit to eagerly drinking up your juices. never coming up for air as if he was made to simply do this. "f—fuck." you didn't want to make any noises, any implications that what he's doing is actually making you feel good but dammit it's hard when a tongue is diving deep into your most sensitive parts.

a particular bite has you instantly bringing your legs together but he quickly grabs them, forcing them apart to shove his face in between your thighs again. your breath catches in your throat as he licks up your dripping pussy. he doesn’t relent even once and the moans won’t stop escaping your lips, “sl—slow down. gonna…dammit.”

his tongue licks…freaking everywhere. the obscene noises causing you to hang your head back, he’s licking and sucking everything up as if it’s his favorite meal.

and it’s embarrassing. how fast you come. but how can not you? you mercilessly pull at his hair and shamelessly moan when you do. somehow you're the sweating and panting one as he stands up. "so that's what all the hype is about?" he tsk, seemingly bored.

it takes a few seconds for you to find the breath to say “don't act like you didn't enjoy that, with the way you were eagerly—”

"shut up." he takes his glasses off, putting them to the side before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

"you're disgusting, you know? the nerve you have—"

"i spent the last two hours teaching you simple biology and somehow you couldn't do one question by yourself, if i'm testy that's all on you.

"it's not my fault." it comes out as a whine and you hate it, you were supposed to be insulting him. at least have some pride when you're about to be fucked by the guy who looks at you like you're nothing but a dirty piece of gum.

"shut up, for crying out loud. shut up." his voice is raspy as he unbuckles the belt to his revolting khakis.

you can't help as your eyes widen once his cock is in view. for such a nerd, he's actually packing. one hand holds your hips as the other guides his dick towards your leaking area and slight panic starts to take over. "a-aren't you gonna prep?" as orgasmic as that oral job was, you doubt just that will be enough to prepare you for that.

he grins, probably the first smile you've ever seen on his annoyingly handsome face. "don't worry, i'm sure a slut like you has a loose enough cunt."

"you little shit! that's—" your words get caught in your throat, back arching as he moves his hips forward, piercing inside of you. "fuck."

a broken sound leaves your lips as he continues to push his length in. it doesn't hurt like you expected it to but there's still a strong ache that you know will leave you limping tomorrow morning. it burns, burns so good you have to squeeze your eyes shut. you need something to hold onto as he starts to move, anything to give you some sort of balance but the flat surface underneath you offers no help. "ngh...eren..." you're not sure what you want to say but he doesn't give you time to think of something before he sets a rhythm.

it's surprisingly slow at first, like he wants you to feel every vein on his cock and you do. your walls desperately clench around him as you bite on your bottom lip, the room suddenly feeling too hot as his fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. into that stupid gaze he won't stop staring at you with. his mouth is slightly open but no sound comes out. he's perfectly collected and you hate it. people like him should be cumming the second you touch them but he's...it's annoying.

his pace starts to speed up—he doesn't even give it another second before he's ramming inside of you. holding your hips with both hands as he sets a brutal pace that has you moving up and down the desk. "p-pretty decent for a nerd—ah!"

still, he stays silent. ugh, what's wrong with him? you bring your arm up to your mouth, muffling the moans spilling out of your lips in spite but his hands are immediately pulling them off. he chuckles, coming close enough that his breath fans against your face and a lewd moan comes out of you as he hits an even deeper spot. "don't do that, we all know this is what you want. to be fucked hard and fast to the point you're nothing but a mindless whore whose only purpose is to scream in pleasure."

you don't respond, biting down hard on your lips. his thrusts became more aggressive as he scoffs, "fine." his hand finds its way to your throat, squeezing slightly.

you suck in a shuddering breath just as his hold tightens, bordering on dangerous but for some reason the lack of air only makes your pussy throb, clenching tight around him. why does it feel good? why does everything he's doing to you only make you want more? his thrusts have now gotten erratic, almost forcing your body off the desk but the hold on your hips and throat keep you right where you are. you want to let out the moan clawing out from inside your throat but his grip stays, merciless as he pounds into you.

you don't know how much of this you can take, everything feels too hot. it's too much. "fuck look at you, didn't think you could look even more dumb." he pants, staring down. he finally removes his hand from your throat and you cry out the second he does.

"eren, please i'm—fuck...too much, it's too much." you gasp even though a sick part of you knows you could do this all night.

but right now...with the way his voice is dripping with cockiness— you hate it, hate the way he looks at you and talks to you. it's infuriating and too much. a tsk comes out of his mouth, "who knew you had a limit?" he rolls his eyes and in the next second, he's spilling inside of you. spilling and spilling until some drip on the floor.

like he's been holding himself back all this time.

fuck. he could've at least let you release a second time. you didn't think the asshole would be finishing right after you said that. you're panting, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he pulls out. he zips up his stupid ugly looking khakis as he steps back. "can you get off my desk now?"

the nerve of him...ugh. you slowly sit up, dress sticking to your skin due to the sweat and you have to refrain from asking to use his shower before leaving.

he gets you your bag and you slowly take it, throat aching and dry. there'll definitely be bruises around your throat and hips tomorrow and you're sure he's secretly delighted at that fact. "uh...." you trail off.

this is usually the part where they ask for your number, pleading for a second night with that desperate look in their eyes but he doesn't even send you another glance as he gathers up the papers on the desk, putting them into a binder. "make sure to study before sleeping tonight...if your body can handle that." his lips slightly curve up at that last part but he's not bragging, no just mocking you.

"o...okay." you lick your dry lips, suddenly needing a mint. "uh...bye?" you stand up too fast, cursing at yourself for it but his arm is around your hips before you can fall.

you bite the inside of your cheek, the proximity too close even though he was just inside of you a minute ago. he sighs, "do you need a ride home?" he asks grudgingly.

and you should say no. you don't need to be in an enclosed space with this asswipe for another second. just say no and walk into class the next day, demanding for another tutor. and then you'll never have to talk to him ever again.

but instead a weak nod comes out.

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your loss - Part II "I will try"

Serie Masterlist here || Part I || Read on AO3 

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch

//-//

Chapter II - I will try

You hate waking up.

Because your bed is empty on the right side.

Grumbling slightly, you push the covers away from your body and get up, running your hand over your face.

It is therapy day.

After brushing your teeth and putting on a sweatshirt that smells like fabric softener, you walked downstairs.

"Good morning, honey." Your mother greeted you as soon as you entered the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hands. You mumbled the greeting back, walking over to the cabinets. She let out a disgruntled exclamation when she saw you take out a box of cereal. "As much as I think it's great that you're eating again, why don't you try something healthier today? I'm getting worried about the amount of sugar you're taking in these last few days."

You rolled your eyes, but obeyed as you put the package back in the cupboard. Ever since you regained your appetite, your meals, especially in the morning, consist of sweet things. Bread, cereals, and even chocolate. You were eating again, but the chance of diabetes was very high.

"Do you need a ride?" Your mother asks a moment later, when you are already sitting at the table, pouring yourself some orange juice.

"Agatha thinks I should try the subway."

"And what do you think?"

You laughed humorlessly.

"That's a new one." You retorted without taking your eyes off the newspaper in front of you. "Someone asking what I think."

Your mother sighs.

"Don't be like that." She says and then rises to kiss your forehead, the car keys in her hand. "Call me if you need anything."

You bite your tongue, stopping yourself from whispering the words "I need my wife," because you didn't want to cry over coffee.

After eating, you looked around. You hated empty houses. So you hurried to get your wallet and left after locking the door.

//-//

With headphones, the subway was not so scary.

The music on the latest volume muffled the ambient noises very well. And even with a fast heartbeat, you managed to walk correctly, and keep your breathing under control until you reached the city downtown.

You walked from the station toward the building where the therapy was taking place, humming softly the music you were listening to.

Startled slightly when someone touched your shoulder, you turned, only to see Bucky standing beside you, smiling gently. You took off your headphones, moving away from his touch, he didn't seem to notice.

"I called you a few times, but I don't think you heard me under the headsets." He commented amiably. "I think we came from the same subway."

"Okay." You said simply, not knowing what to add to this conversation. Bucky smiled however, and you started walking side by side.

"You know, if we arrange the time, we could come here together next time" He says and you frown slightly. "I wish I had someone to laugh at my comments about the man in the cowboy hat who hangs out at the Sixth Avenue station." He jokes and you force a smile, trying to think of how to decline the invitation. But then you remember how Agatha insisted that you make new friends, and you are letting the words of agreement escape your mouth. "Really? I'm glad you like the idea then. We can meet in any of the first stations and come the rest of the way together."

"That'll be great." You mutter to the man who smiles contentedly.

When you arrive, Bucky waves to a few people and says he will say hello, so you walk into the gym alone.

You try not to feel so nervous about your first session with a therapy partner.

//-//

Stephen is almost late. He apologizes to everyone even though he didn't, saying that he had a minor conflict in traffic. You were already sitting in the circle, waiting for the meeting to start, when the other people came in and sat down.

Wanda sat in the chair in front of you, and you smiled awkwardly at her, who repeated the gesture before looking away from you to Stephen.

"I hope you all had a good week" Stephen began next. "Today I will be handing out the schedule of duo activities, and I expect all of you to accomplish these goals within six to eight months. Of course, no pressure." He jokes last, making the group laugh. You frown, because you are curious what kind of activities these are. "Jessica, take one and pass it to the side, please.”

Stephen asked handing some papers to one of the girls in the group who was sitting next to him. As each member took one, Stephen again spoke of the importance of communication between pairs, and how he would like to monitor everyone's progress closely. You stopped paying attention when the paper came into your hands, focused on reading the words.

Your hand rises in the air a moment later.

"Y/N, do you have a question?" Stephen asked as he interrupted his own speech when he saw your hand. You had your heart racing when you asked.

"It says drive a car here." You replied looking at him. "I don't... I don't drive."

You know that some members exchanged glances with each other, but you kept staring at Stephen.

"You can leave this activity for last. At the end of the treatment....

"No." You interrupted with a dry laugh, running your hands through your hair. "I'm not driving. I don't..."

"Would you like to share why that is?" Stephen asks tenderly, and you look around. Everyone looks at you curiously, and you feel your face heat up. Then you stare at the paper in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you try not to crumple the paper so hard as you tell it.

"My wife died in a car accident." You narrate, trying not to be bothered by people holding their breath for your confession. It was awkward to talk about it, and it was even more overwhelming to deal with the reactions of others. "I was driving, and... I can't anymore since the accident." You explain. "It's like I'm back in the car again."

You fall silent, unable to hold back your tears. The group says "thank you for sharing" next, startling you slightly. Stephen smiles at you as you look at him.

"Would you like to add anything else?"

"I would like you to tell me that I won't need to do that."

Stephen laughed. And then he denied it with his head.

"It's the opposite of that actually." He says. "I think you do need it. Maybe more than anyone else here."

You sighed, looking down. He spoke again after that, but you paid no further attention.

//-//

You swallowed your nervousness when Stephen called for the pairs to begin the first exercise.

Getting up and walking over to Wanda, you kept your gaze on the floor.

"We're going to try blind trust today." Stephen explained as he opened a small box, and began handing out black blindfolds to the pairs. He handed one to you. "You will blindfold your partner, and lead them around the gym for two minutes. And then switch who is blindfolded and repeat."

You blinked in confusion, taking one last look at the object in your hands.

"Right." You mumble, raising your eyes to the woman in front of you. "May I?"

Wanda hesitates a second, but then she nods. You turn around her, placing the blindfold under her eyes gently, and tying it to the back of her head. Wanda holds her breath momentarily, probably getting used to the lack of visibility.

" Can I hold your hands?" You ask softly as you circle her again, watching her blindfolded face. She looks... cute. The same second the thought hits you, you push it out.

"Yes." Wanda sighs raising her hands at chest height. You smile, interlacing your hands together.

"Well, we were in the circle, right?" You begin. "Come this way so you don't bump into the chairs."

Guiding Wanda through the gym, you stand close and with your hands interlocked so that she doesn't get scared of bumping into something. You catch a quick glance at Bucky, who was guiding his own partner as he passes your side.

Two minutes later, you exchange.

You hold your breath when the blindfold is on your eyes, but Wanda's hand is soft as she guides you around.

When you stumble slightly because you thought she said right instead of left, it's the first time in six months that you really laugh. It's short and quick, but it's a real laugh. Wanda laughs too, squeezing your hand lightly to get you back on the right path.

You feel a little lighter when the activity is over.

"I liked today." You comment with a shy smile after the meeting is over, and you and Wanda walk out of the place together. She smiles in agreement.

"Yeah, me too." She says. "Now we only have another twenty-four activities ahead of us."

You let out a nasal laugh, putting your hands in your pockets.

"About the homework, I can meet you when you have time." You start to say, remembering the information in the booklet, and how you probably had much more free time than a mother, and it would be kinder for you to follow whatever schedule Wanda had. "You can text me anytime you are free."

She looks slightly surprised at your words, and looks down at the floor a moment before speaking again.

"Actually, I'm free now." She says, and it is your turn to be surprised. Seeing your expression, she quickly adds. "But it's okay if you're not, or if you don't want to..."

"No, it's fine." You interrupt with a lopsided smile. "I can. I'd... uh... I would like to too."

Wanda nods frantically, and then you are silent for a moment, before turning shyly toward the street, walking side by side.

"What are we going to do first?" You ask looking forward. Wanda bites her lips, thoughtful.

"Are you hungry?"

Not much, but you don't tell her that. You just shrug, and Wanda smiles, saying that you could try the lesson of sharing a meal together.

This is how you end up in a cafeteria for lunch.

Wanda is sitting on the bench in front of you when she speaks again.

"So...do you want to have a normal conversation or do you want to follow the script of questions?"

You blink in surprise, and give a short laugh.

"Wait, is that for real?" You ask fiddling with your pockets, Wanda looks at you curiously. You take out the pamphlet you got in class, then read the back, and let out a giggle. "I hadn't seen that part. Wow, that would have been so helpful at so many times in my life."

Wanda smiles, watching you read the pamphlet.

"So you're not good at talking to people huh?"

You place the flyer on the table, looking at her.

"Are you?"

"No." She says shrugging. "Socializing has always been much more my brother's thing than mine."

You make a noise with your mouth in agreement, and Wanda's cell phone on the table vibrates. She lowers her gaze to the device, and lets out a light sigh.

"Speaking of him." She mutters as she raises her finger to the screen. She reads the notification, but does not touch the device again.

"I would like to have a brother." You count next, and Wanda looks at you. "I think it would be nice to have someone growing up together with me. Sometimes it's pretty lonely being an only child."

"I'll lend you mine if you want." Wanda teases with a smile, and you laugh lightly, looking away momentarily.

" How many siblings do you have?"

"Two." She counters. "Pietro is my twin. And the youngest is Lorna."

"How are they like?"

Wanda sighs, thoughtfully.

"Pietro is loud and nosy. And Lorna is blunt and judgmental." She says and you nod in understanding, but Wanda adds a second later, smiling, "They're amazing, really. Pietro is...very caring. He looks after the boys for me. And Lorna lives in Sokovia, but she's always calling and asking how we are, as well as visiting whenever she can."

"That seems nice." You reply. The waitress attends you two next, and after ordering, you both wait in silence for a while.

"Why haven't you asked me about my loss yet?" Wanda asks suddenly, and you look away from the wordplay that was drawn on the table to look at her with a frown.

"What do you mean?"

"I shared my loss with the group the week before you joined us." She counters. "You never asked me who I lost."

"Do you want me to ask?"

"I don't know." She replies staring at you as a mixture of confusion and surprise. "It's just... that's usually the first thing people want to know."

You nod looking away.

"Well, I just want you to tell me whatever you want to tell me." You say. "I know very well what that feels like. I don't think I could talk to any of the people I know without them asking me about Nat every time they saw me."

Wanda makes a noise with her mouth of understanding, and you fall silent again. She checks her messages next and makes a slight grimace, you can't hold your curiosity and let the words "everything okay?" escape your lips.

"Yeah, it's just... Monica." She sighs running her hands through her hair. She types something next, and looks up at you. "Monica is my brother's wife, She is... pushy."

"How so?"

"She just...she wants to help. But she wants too much, you know?" Wanda begins. "She has the best of intentions, but she just suffocates me sometimes." She counters by tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, as you look at her intently. "She lost her mother when she was younger. And since... since Vis died she just... she wants me to talk to her about it. But I can't."

You nod in acknowledgement, hesitating between what to say next, because the mention of this Vis guy seems to have left Wanda quite shaken, as she quickly wipes a tear from running down her cheek. She forces a smile, shaking her head.

"Sorry about that. It's not the best thing to cry at our first lunch." She then remarks, and you smile shrugging your shoulders.

"Don't worry, I can cry at the next one and then we'll be even." You retort and Wanda laughs. You like the sound more than you should.

When your food arrives, you and Wanda thank the waitress and talk again the next moment.

"Accordingly to this, what is our first question?" Wanda asks you nodding lightly to the pamphlet you have left on the table. You eat one of your fries as you look at it.

You lower your hand to the paper, and then let out a chuckle as you actually read the questions.

" This is ridiculous." You observe, making Wanda look at you curiously. "All the questions are death related, see: If you died, how would you like people to remember you?" You read. "Or, what song would you like played at your funeral. My god, this is a joke." You grumble as you fold the flyer, and put it back in your pocket while Wanda giggles. You look back at her next. "I am decreeing that we will not talk about death on our outings, Mrs. Maximoff. It's a rule."

Wanda smiles at you, agreeing.

"Wanda." She then adds and you look at her with confusion. "You don't have to call me Mrs. Maximoff. Wanda is fine."

You smile, nodding in agreement.

"So, Wanda, where do you live?" You ask with interest in your voice, biting into your burger next.

"Queens." She replies. "Two blocks past Bucky's apartment, who lives in Brooklyn."

"You are friends then?"

"Yeah, he's the one who introduced me to the group." She explains as you eat together. She chews some of her salad before speaking again. "And you?"

"Staten Island." You retort. "But it's actually my mother's house. My apartment is in the Bronx."

Wanda doesn't pressure you to tell her why you are living with your mother. A part of you thinks she knows why, but you are grateful that she just waits for you to share what you want, just as you do with her.

"What do you work with?" she asks next, and you sigh, biting back a smile.

"Nothing at the moment." You say, and she frowns with confusion. "It's just that I write. I’m actually a writer. With a publisher and everything. But, I'm not writing anything right now."

"I don't think I've ever met a writer before." She comments with a smile. "Do you like it?"

You look away, playing with your fries.

"I used to." You confess, but not wanting to make the conversation sad, you quickly add. "What about you? What do you work with?"

"I own a flower shop." She tells and you let out a low exclamation, finding it amazing. "I haven't been going there much lately, but I like it. It's always been what I've wanted to do since I was little."

"I'd like to visit someday."

Wanda smiles, assenting.

You spend lunch talking about the most diverse subjects. It is the lightest you have felt in a long time. Wanda tells you about her family, you learn that she lives in a big house with her two twin five-year-old sons, Billy and Tommy, and that her father was spending time with her since she lost Vis, who you figure is her husband, because Stephen mentioned that you had things in common, and it's not hard to connect the dots, even if she doesn't talk about it.

She also tells you that Pietro and Monica are helping the flower shop to keep running, and that Wanda's children love to stay at their house because Wanda's niece, Luna, is the same age as the boys.

She tells you some of her tastes, and you do the same. You both smile when you discover that you used to study at the same college, but Wanda graduated a few years before you.

When you leave the restaurant, you are not quite sure how to say goodbye to Wanda, but you don't mind her kissing your cheek and telling you that she enjoyed her lunch. You enjoyed it too, much more than you expected. She nods and turns away, and it takes a moment for you to do the same.

//-//

You decide to fix the broken screen of your cell phone.

It is because you now receive notifications of messages from Wanda, and you want to read them correctly so as not to get confused with the locations of your meetings for group activities.

You also enjoy the company of Bucky Barnes now. The first time you went to therapy together, it's a little awkward because you didn’t quite knew what to say, but he was friendly and kind, and you learned to trust him. Soon it becomes easy to share and laugh at his jokes.

In the second week with grieving pairs, Stephen brings in question and answer games. You and Wanda do very well, because it is surprisingly easy and comfortable to talk to her. You don't have lunch together, but she invites you to have coffee with her the next day, and it is very nice to see her out of therapy for once.

In the third week, you cook together. Stephen contacts a local restaurant owned by a friend, which is closed for the day, and they lend their kitchen. You and Wanda try to bake some cookies, and as you work together, the job is decent. It is probably because Wanda is a much better cook than you, and you are happy to obey whatever she tells you to do. You have lunch together again, and you find yourself suggesting that you do this whenever possible, and Wanda smiles when she agrees.

In the fourth week, there are obstacle competitions in the group. It's noisy, and it requires physical effort, but it's fun. It's the first month, so Stephen wants to see how everyone is progressing. It's only when he talks to you that you realize all the positive changes that have been happening.

You have been eating properly, and going for walks. Your nightmares have stopped since you started texting with Wanda, because she is usually busy all day and can only text at night. There is still work to be done, because you still can't talk about everything. You are still not sharing as you should, and you haven't gone back to work. But Stephen is proud, and he hands you a little progress brooch.

"I think you guys can start with the activities outside the group." Stephen suggests as soon as you accept the brooch.

"What do you mean? We have lunch together every Wednesday." You count, and Stephen laughs through his nose.

"Yes, and this is excellent." He says. "But it's still after therapy. You and Wanda have been getting along well haven't you?"

You think about the lunches. Yes. It's been amazing. You nod in agreement, and Stephen smiles.

"Why don't you invite her over for something on the other days of the week?" He suggests and you frown thoughtfully. "You could try outings that you both enjoy. Or just get to know each other's family."

"Why would we go and meet each other's family?"

"Friends do that." He says and you sigh, feeling your heart racing slightly. "Take Bucky for example. I suggested that he and Sam move in together and..."

"Wow, I'm not moving in with anyone."

Stephen laughs, touching your shoulder gently.

"I didn't tell you to do that." He says. "It was just an example. What I mean, is that socialization outside of the therapeutic environment is essential. I'd like to see you having fun excluding the activities I put on here, too."

You sigh, agreeing. It's not really a bad thing, you like Wanda. It's just weird to let people into your life again.

When you tell Wanda about Stephen's idea, you get too anxious and fumble with the words. She laughs as she raises her hands to your shoulders, asking you to breathe and repeat. She thinks the idea is very good when she understands.

Then the next week, you go to Central Park. You walk together, drink juice, and talk. You thought you would make things awkward, and not have anything interesting to say to keep Wanda's attention, but she is kind and thoughtful, and pays attention to every word you say, and finds your jokes funny. And the next thing you know, you've been talking and walking for six hours, and she has to run because she has to pick up the boys from music class.

It didn't take long for you to establish a rhythm of outings. At least twice a week outside of the therapy day, you did something together. Be it walks, or trips to the park, or sharing a meal.

You didn't want to admit it, but Wanda became your favorite person very quickly.

//-//

It was February when you met Wanda's family.

Wanda invited you to the birthday party of Luna, Pietro's daughter. It was going to be the first party you had attended since Nat's death, and to say you were feeling anxious was an understatement. But as long as Wanda was by your side in the atmosphere, you thought you would be fine.

Your mother gave you a look of mixed surprise and pride when she saw you leaving the house in an outfit other than a sweatshirt, but she didn't say anything, and you hurried to catch the subway.

It took a while to get there, but when you did, there were already a few people around the house.

You took a deep breath, and walked to the front door that was open. It was a very nice house, and you tried to find Wanda as quickly as possible.

"Hey, you came!" It was Bucky, who saw you arriving from the kitchen. He was wearing a very nice set of jeans, and smiled encouragingly at you. The two people he talked to looked at you curiously, but Bucky hurried to introduce you as "a good friend of his and Wanda's" and you felt your cheeks blush. "This is my husband Sam and this is his sister, Sara."

You smiled politely as you greeted people.

"I'm looking for Wanda." You say to Bucky, and he makes a thoughtful expression for a few seconds.

"Try the garden, I think she was helping Pietro with the snacks." He says as he puts his hand on your shoulder, and turns you in the right direction. "Follow straight this way and you'll get there."

You thanked them and waved to the other two before heading outside.

It took two minutes to find Wanda. She found you actually.

"Hi." She greeted you shyly with a smile as she approached. You mimicked the gesture. "So glad you could make it."

Wanda hugged you quickly, and you were a complete mess. Disguisedly, you smiled awkwardly, telling her you were glad to be here and wished you could meet her brother.

"Pietro is upstairs changing Luna's dress. She spilled juice on the other one." She counters and you mumble in understanding. Wanda's gaze races around and then she lets out a low exclamation. "Come, let me introduce you to Monica."

"Hey, Mon, I want you to meet someone." Wanda says as soon as you two reach a woman at one of the outside tables, wearing a very pretty blue dress. She seemed to hand out some napkins on the table.

"This is your mystery friend I imagine." Says the woman cheerfully, extending her hand to greet you.

"Hi, thank you for having me." You say clumsily as you accept the greeting. Monica doesn't mind your clumsiness one bit, and smiles, and thanks you for the small package you hand her. You were always taught that one should bring a gift if you were going to the party after all.

"It's so nice to finally meet you honey." She says smiling. "Wanda won't stop saying how funny and entertaining you are."

You cast a glance at Wanda, who just has red cheeks as she looks away.

"Here comes Pietro." Monica then exclaims, waving to someone behind you. "Come on babe, it's Wanda's friend."

A tall man approaches you, a little girl on his lap wearing a princess dress.

"Hello." Pietro greeted you politely as he stood at his wife's side. "We finally met you. We were beginning to think Wanda made you up."

You let out a half-hearted laugh, and Wanda grumbles that suddenly everyone has decided to tease her with flushed cheeks.

"Daddy, can I go play now?" The little girl asked. She was adorable, and looked a lot like her parents.

"You'll be careful, right?" Pietro asked her. "No other princess dress for you."

The girl nods and Pietro sets her down after kissing her cheek.

"I need to greet the other guests, but make yourselves at home." Monica then said, touching your shoulder lightly before leaving. You thought she was very gentle.

For the next few minutes you were basically interrogated by Pietro, but in the most polite way he could manage. Wanda stayed by your side though, so you didn't bother to tell him what you did for a living, where you resided, or with whom. He was sensitive enough not to ask about who you lost, and you were very grateful for that.

"What's he doing here?" Wanda exclaimed suddenly, interrupting Pietro's talk about his job as a seller. She had her gaze in the opposite direction from where you were standing, and Pietro sighed.

"Wanda, it was a last-minute invitation." He began, and Wanda turned her head to him quickly, a mixed look of anger and hurt. But then she took a deep breath, and forced a smile, making you frown at the whole scene.

"No, Pietro. It's okay." She says. "Don't worry, it's a party, isn't it? We're here to have fun."

A man with a thinning beard reached you all next, and you were slightly surprised when Wanda grabbed your hand, but you didn't say anything.

"Wow, it's amazing to see you guys again." The man said smiling encouragingly. Pietro rushed over to hug him quickly.

"Good to see you too, Tony!" he greeted smiling, but he also looked slightly tense. You didn't know what the story was there, but clearly Wanda was not very comfortable in the stranger's presence.

"Wanda, look at you, my little sister-in-law!" Tony said excitedly extending his arms. But Wanda didn't move, squeezing your hand lightly. The man didn't seem to mind, moving forward and hugging Wanda anyway. He pulled away quickly however, still smiling, "And who are you?” He asked you next.

"I’m..."

"Leaving." Wanda cuts you off, ducking her head as she pulls you away with her. You hear Pietro sigh lightly, imagining that he would apologize for whatever this was.

As you two walk back into the house, you consider asking, but Wanda is looking around, clearly searching for someone. She lets out a low exclamation when she finds Bucky in the living room.

"Hey, Wanda." He says as soon as he sees her. "You've seen him, right?"

"You knew he was coming?" she asked, letting go of your hand, looking annoyed. You were starting to get very uncomfortable.

"Yes." Bucky confesses looking upset, and Wanda lets out an exclamation of indignation and surprise. "I told Pietro that it wasn't a good idea, but he still needs help with the Vis business..."

"No." Wanda interrupts by closing her eyes momentarily. You blink because she seems on the verge of tears at any moment. "I just..." She starts and takes a deep breath. Bucky steps forward with his hands in the air to touch her, but she forces a smile, denying with her head to signal him not to. "We're not going to make a scene, are we? Nobody's going to want that. I just... I just need a moment."

Wanda walks upstairs next, leaving you and Bucky behind. You really didn't understand what happened, and started to consider going after her, and as if reading your thoughts, Bucky patted you on the shoulder.

"Leave her alone for a few minutes, okay?" he asks. "She just needs to get used to the idea of seeing her late husband's brother again."

You swallowed dryly, nodding in understanding. Bucky smiled weakly at you, nodding for you to join him in the small circle of people he was talking to earlier.

//-//

Every minute without Wanda at your side with a bunch of strangers was like torture. Your heart was racing and you thought you were going to hyperventilate at any moment. Bucky was probably the only thing familiar, so you stood static next to him, trying to disguise yourself as much as possible while listening to people talking.

"Thor, I'm waiting for the invitation to your wedding!" Sam joked in the middle of the wheel, drawing laughter from everyone. The tall, blond man next to him looked mildly embarrassed.

"Tell that to Jane, she's the one who's postponing it." He replies in the same tone. You don't want to hear about engagements and weddings. So you mutter to Bucky that you need to use the bathroom and he points you in the direction.

Pietro's house is easy to get lost into. You are looking for a secluded corner to stay in, and as you pass through the empty hallway, you hear a noise that attracts your attention. It sounds like loud breathing.

Confused, you walk toward the sound, carefully opening the door to what appears to be an office. You find the switch, and your eyes widen in surprise when you find a child. It is a small boy, sitting on the floor with his head between his knees. It takes a second for you to realize by the height of his breathing what is happening.

Closing the door behind you to muffle the sound of the party, you rush to kneel beside the child.

"Hey, kid." You whisper tenderly but he just sobs. "What's your name? Hey? Try to say your name for me okay?"

You bring your hands to his and he raises his head, his face stained with tears as he breathes hard.

"T-Tommy" He gasps and you nod, squeezing his hands lightly.

"Okay, Tommy. I want you to breathe along with me now okay?" You ask as you signal with your hand the movement of your breath. "In and out like I'm doing."

"I-I can't." He cries, but you insist, squeezing his hand lightly.

"Tommy, in and out. This way." You repeat firmly, until he imitates. "All right, kid. Keep going. Breathe."

When Tommy manages to start breathing properly again, you smile at him. "You see, you did very well. Want me to give you a hug?"

He nodded, and you stepped forward, hugging him tightly. He didn't let go for long moments, and you began to think he might have fallen asleep, but he moved again, and you let go.

"I'm sorry." He asked weakly, and you held his hand.

"No, honey. It's okay." You say gently, crossing your legs to sit more comfortably in front of him. "Do you want me to stay here with you?"

He nods, looking at you quickly. You wipe away his tears afterwards.

"I don't know you." He says a moment later, and you smile slightly.

"I don't know you either."

"My name is Tommy." He replies with his hands folded in his lap. "This is my aunt and uncle's house, but I've never seen you at a party before."

"Wow, you are Wanda's son." You realize with surprise. Tommy blinks.

"Who is Wanda? I'm Mommy's son."

You laugh, nodding in agreement.

"Well, Tommy, your mother's name is Wanda." You explain, and he lets out a sigh of understanding. "I'm her friend."

"Okay." He says simply. He sighs lightly then. "I'm hungry."

You look at him curiously.

"Do you want a hot dog?" You ask, and he nods frantically, smiling. "Do you want to go outside and get it, or do you want me to bring it for you here?"

Tommy is thoughtful for a few seconds, and looks at the door for a moment.

"I want to go."

"Okay."

You get up first, and then help him to stand, and keep your hand in his to comfort him.

"Hey, is everything all right?" You ask as soon as you open the door. He has his thumb in his mouth, but nods, his eyes attentive to his surroundings.

Fortunately the kitchen is empty, since the house seemed to get warm enough for everyone to go outside. You sit Tommy down at the kitchen counter and prepare a hot dog for him.

"Do you like ketchup?" you ask and he nods smiling. After handing the hot dog to him, you made one for yourself. You smiled as you both took big bites of your food. "Does your mom let you drink soda?" You ask a moment later, and Tommy looks thoughtful. "Don’t lie."

Tommy grimaces mischievously, and nods his head in denial. You laugh and reach for two glasses, pouring some grape juice for you.

"Thanks." He says thank you as soon as you hand him the cup. You think it's adorable how polite he is at this age.

"There you are, Tommy." Pietro spoke as he appeared in the kitchen. He watched the scene with curiosity. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Sorry, Uncle." Murmured the boy lowering his head. "My head was hurting again."

Pietro sighed and you exchanged a look with him. He nodded in understanding before helping Tommy down from the countertop.

"Billy and Luna are eating candy in the backyard, honey." He says as he bends down to the boy's height. "Go ask Aunt Mon to give you some too."

Tommy seems content to leave after that, but he turns and hugs your legs quickly, muttering a "thanks for the hot dog" before running outside. You place his cup of juice in the sink along with yours before turning to Pietro.

"Where did you find him?" he asks leaning on the counter with his arms crossed. You mimic the position on the opposite side.

"In the office down the hall." You count. "What does he have?"

"We don't know yet." Pietro says. "He won't turn six until November, and the diagnosis can't be made before then." The man explains, running his hand through his hair for a moment. "But I've had anxiety since I was a kid, so his doctor thinks it's the most likely possibility."

You grumble in understanding, biting the inside of your cheek.

"He's been pretty nervous lately." Pietro continues next. You don't want to interrupt him. "I guess that makes sense. I got worse when my mother died, too."

You swallow dryly, really not being intimate enough to know what to say next. But Pietro doesn't mind, he smiles, shaking his head and reaching up to pat you on the arm.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make the subject morbid." He comments humorously. "Thank you so much for helping Tommy. Come have a drink outside."

You laugh half-heartedly, denying with your head.

"Thank you, Pietro." You say. "But I think I'd better go."

Pietro blinks in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

You nod, your gaze quickly going to the stairs before returning to him.

"Yes, I'm... I'm tired." You say. "Crowded environments are quite difficult for me."

Pietro nods in acknowledgement, and then smiles, thanking you again for coming and hugging you quickly.

You smile awkwardly before heading for the exit just as he returns to the garden.

Ignoring the urge to climb up the stairs after Wanda, you leave.

//-//

When you get home, there is a message on the refrigerator door from your mother, telling you that she is going out after work and that you shouldn't wait up for her. You grumble slightly, sending her a message to use protection, before leaving your cell phone on the counter.

After taking a shower and putting on the most comfortable and warmest set of sweatshirts you have, you go back to the living room, looking for some entertainment on the television.

It must be about eight o'clock at night when a knock at the door startles you.

You are surprised to have Wanda at your front door and she hesitates as soon as she sees you.

"Hi." You say.

"Can we talk?"

You make room for her to enter, closing the door afterwards.

Wanda stops in the doorway of the room, holding her purse tightly.

"I'm sorry I left you alone at the party." She begins and you look at her attentively, noticing her nervousness. "It wasn't polite of me."

You blink in confusion, but don't interrupt her. She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking back at you.

"It was not the right way to behave and I am sorry. I hope we continue to be grieving partners" She says.

"Wanda, why are you here?" You ask with a frown, trying to understand exactly what you are witnessing. Wanda blinks in confusion.

"To apologize."

"Yeah I'm not buying it." You retort. "I don't care about the whole manners thing, I wouldn't treat you differently just because of the party. What's going on?"

"I don't... I don't know what you're talking about." She says shaking her head slightly, her eyes wide. You look at her in disbelief, she seemed on the verge of an outburst. "I just came to apologize for not being a good hostess, and not even a good friend. And..."

"I don't give a damn if you weren't behaving as you should." You interrupt seriously. "You don't have to pretend to be okay with me. I saw the way you were forcing yourself to smile during the party. What was all that about? Why are you pretending?"

Wanda let out a humorless laugh, holding up her hands, her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know what..."

"If you're going to lie you can leave." You interrupt seriously pointing to the door. Wanda swallows dryly, looking at you in surprise. "I'm not like those people, Wanda. I don't want to see your version of the perfect housewife, who pretends everything is fine while it's falling apart so others will feel better. Either you tell me the truth, or we' re not going anywhere."

Wanda stares at you for several seconds, then looks away, tears streaming down her face. You sigh, uncrossing your arms to walk toward the door. As you begin to open it, however, Wanda rushes in and pushes the wood with one hand, the noise and movement startling you momentarily.

"Please." She begs throwing herself against you, her arms clutching around you as she buries her head in your chest, her tears wetting your shirt. "I can't lose you too."

You sigh, hugging her back in the same intensity to calm her.

"Breathe, Wanda." You say. "I'm right here."

When she stops crying, she breaks the embrace, and you give her a smile even though she is looking at the floor. You bring your hands to her face to wipe away her tears, moving closer to give her a kiss on her forehead before pulling away.

"Let's have some tea."

As you prepare the drink, Wanda sits down on one of the stools in the kitchen. You join her after lighting the fire.

"Do you want to talk now?" You ask next, swinging your seat slightly. Wanda gives you a weak smile, nodding her head. She sighs before she begins.

"My husband died last year." She counters with a lost look on her face. "That man at the party...his name is Tony. He is my brother-in-law. He... My husband died in an accident. He..." Wanda paused, probably overwhelmed by the memories, you reached out for her hand on the counter, and she sniffled before continuing. "Tony is an alcoholic. He...he needed someone to pick him up. So he called. And Vis... They... They argued outside the bar, and someone thought Vis was a cop. And then someone had a knife and..." Wanda stopped in a sob, releasing her hand to cup her face. You stood up, hugging her by the shoulders, and she buried her face in your neck, crying heavily.

"I'm sorry." You sighed, squeezing her. Wanda cried, hugging your waist. You only let go when the kettle beeped.

She wiped away the remaining tears as you went to turn off the fire.

"Do you want to go on?" You ask as you join her again, holding her hands. Wanda gives you a tired smile, denying it. "Let's drink our tea, then."

//-//

"Can I sleep here?" The question doesn't surprise you. After you had finished drinking tea, and you tried to distract Wanda with some small talk, you stood up to take the mugs to the sink, and her voice invaded your ears with the question.

You bit the inside of your cheek, but when you turned around, you didn't hesitate to agree.

And that's how you ended up in your closet doorway, looking for extra pillows.

Wanda walked around, observing your room with curiosity. You mentally thanked your mom that it had only been two days since her monthly cleaning, and your room was not messy.

"Who is this?" Wanda asks as she holds one of your frames in her hand. You have an extra comforter in your hand as you walk over to her to look at the picture.

"This is Bruce." You say looking at the photograph for a moment. Ignoring the wave of guilt that fills your stomach, you walk over to your bed. "We've studied together most of our lives. And the girl next to him is Carol, she was my maid of honor."

"Are they the friends you don’t talk to anymore?" Wanda asks as she returns the picture to the headboard. You mumble in agreement.

"Done, Wands." You say as you place the comforter on the bed. "You can have my pillow, I'll use the cushions on the sofa anyway."

Wanda frowns in confusion.

"Aren't you going to sleep with me?" She asks and you laugh in surprise, feeling your heart race.

"W-what?"

"I thought..." She starts and seeing your reddened face she looks away, clearing her throat. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch."

"It's okay, really." You assure her with a smile. "I'll be downstairs and if you need anything you can wake me up."

"Y/N..."

"Good night." You interrupt with a smile, moving closer to place a quick kiss on her cheek before turning and leaving the room, your heart racing.

You haven't slept in the same bed with another woman in many months. That is absolutely not going to happen tonight.

When Wanda finally lies back against the sheets, she grumbles softly. Your scent is everywhere, and she knows very well what it means when her body shivers and she feels a small warmth at the pit of her stomach. Pushing these thoughts away, she closes her eyes, hoping that the tiredness of the day will be enough to make her sleep.

[wooahaes]

feeling that way about sex (or smut) isn't stupid. so don't feel like its weird. and its not not normal. just as there's a ton of people who might have sex on the first week of dating, there's people out there who would wait much longer. with the amount of people on this earth, i promise you that a great handful of people would be willing to wait for you until you feel completely reassured. and maybe this is me thinking hopefully, but you're not abnormal for feeling this way, the way you feel is completely valid. it's hard but try thinking on the bright side of things! you're telling me that there is about 7.8 billion people in this world and not a single one would be willing to wait? keep ur head up <3 and i totally understand the concept of doing intimate things without it turning into sex, the bathing together hc was really cute. so continue to post soft domestic things like that because u are not the only one who feels this way :) i hope this also doesn't sound too bossy 😭 i'm rereading it thinking i might sound a bit harsh but imagine someone with a soft and comforting voice saying this to you because tone conveyed through text is pretty hard sometimes (but anyways... enough of me rambling) i hope u feel better

gonna put all of my response under a readmore bc i can already tell i have thoughts lol sdfkhsdf

i think the way society talks about sex a lot now is like... basically tipping it hard into the other direction of things. it feels like it used to be a taboo topic that no one ever spoke about because it's a private thing, and now it feels like people have gone entirely in the idea of sex being something that should be 100% open and if you try to have a private life, you're a prude. if you wait, you're prudish and boring. i fully know it's not everyone (i have friends who are sexually active and don't give me shit for not being bc they recognize that being sex positive is the decision to choose whether you want to or not and getting support either way).

i think it's just discouraging to be someone who like... knows i can't just do that sort of thing without knowing i'm not going to get fucked over again by someone who just wants to get off and feels some need to pull someone else into it bc they know someone's vulnerable. that i'm not going to trust the wrong person again and walk away used again. it just feels like no one's going to hear that and want to stay because it's baggage, and that anyone who stays is going to eventually walk away because i took too long.

you're fine, anon, don't worry. it kinda helps until my mind starts spiraling a little (which i deleted out from this ask) and im just... a mess, i guess. i like writing domestic things, though. it's nice to just have non-sexual intimacy in my fics.

i literally have nothing against writers who write smut (as long as they're not hardcore glorifying shitty behaviors--it's one thing to explore those kinds of things in writing, it's another to promote it like it's something good and condoning people who actively want it because fucking trust me, i've seen that shit before), some of my mutuals do and i love them even if i have to hardcore avoid tht sort of thing sometimes (it rly depends on my mental state on whether i can like... cope with it lol). i just want more non-sexual intimacy in fics, y'know? i don't always want to read about getting dick when the prompt involved giving someone a massage or something. that's good for the people who do want that sort of thing, but not everyone does and that's okay.

although if someone does take an innocent/fluffy/domestic prompt and turn it into smut with zero warnings anywhere, i will bite them to death. tag your content correctly. thank u.

anyway thank u for taking the time to write this anon. i appreciate it a lot <3