#I'm going to put my head through a wall
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me at my brain: STOP COMING UP WITH CRACK SHIPS!!
my brain: ✨️ Chillie ✨️
#pom ponders#millie frock#chloe barbash#millie frock x chloe barbash#chillie#crack ship#I'm going to put my head through a wall#why?? why?? it makes no sense! I'm pretty sure they don’t like each other!#...but the ship name is so frickin FUNNY
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the world is a cruel and unforgiving place. darkness lurking in every corner. i cry out and only silence responds. we were all doomed from the start, weren't we? if this is the last time you hear from me know that i tried. i really did try. (<<< stuck on hold for 37 minutes and my phone is dying)
#muzz mumbles#PLEEASSSEEEEEEEEEE#i'm going to put my head through a wall#it's an important (government) phone call otherwise i'd literally just say fuck it#i want to say fuck it so so bad
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back to being insane it haunts me that arthur doesn't recognize the de bois crest on tristan's shield when he comes back as a ghost. uther truly didn't allow him to learn even one thing about ygraine. he doesn't even know what his mother's family crest looks like.
#sorry for the tswift reference but literally#i should've asked you questions i should've asked you how to be asked you to write it down for me#because every scrap of you would be taken from me#i'm going to put my head through a wall now#ygraine de bois#arthur pendragon#merlin#tristan de bois
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happy stampede saturday eve to this panel of casual wear wolfwood that i can’t get out of my head
#he's wearing a TURTLENECK and JEANS he's having a NICE TIME AT A PARTY i'm going to PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL#trigun
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I am running out of words but people expect me to talk like it's a monologue here
#istg if one more person treats me like their fucking therapist that fixes every single problem perfectly#then I'm going to put my head through a wall#hey i'm back#not that I think anyone reslly cares but I think my fluctuating lack of presence on here has become noticeable to a few people#if that makes sense#it's funny because it's true#gh0st.txt
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHEN THE BASS KICKS IN IN L NO THEME
#im like irreconcilably in love with him im going to put my head through a wall#caps#ALSO THE WAY IT'S NOT IN A REGULAR TIME SIGNATURE? INSANE?#IT KEEPS THROWING ME OFF WHENEVER I TRY TO SING ALONG TO IT IT'S FUCKING AWESOME#I'M GOING TO KILL HER#listening to light's now. this sounds terrible i'd be so mad if this was my theme#the piano notes are the only thing keeping me going#OH SHIT NVM IT JUST TURNED COOL#bastard with a god complex ohhh my god there's the piano again#just for a brief second before it gets drowned out… WHATEVER. WHATEVER#light's gets to have a little flourish on the end while l's just goes back to the same theme and stops#hm. hm
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my body is really fighting me every day I had a nonspecific virus for a week and then a double ear infection immediately after and now stomach pains from the antibiotics and dizziness from the infection yay :3
#whyyyy are you doing this to me#I should not be going to class but bring in art school means getting auto failed after 2 absences from any class#live laugh love I'm gonna put my head through a wall#lyd posting
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one day i won't have to deal with this shit. i will be too busy making out with him to worry about this shit.
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alright y'all wish me luck I'm gonna try to bulldoze through my requests because there's 25 of them and some have been there for MONTHS, I gotta watch a movie for one of em' [I mean I don't have to but like its better if I do]
#radiorambles#makin' bad decisions at 1:25 AMMMMM#“You know what maybe I should add more fandoms to my list after all I got that gravity falls ask AND I'm done with helluva so maybe-”#the 25 requests I STILL haven't gotten too staring at me: >:[#if you decided to read the tags then congratulations you get to see what Fandoms I'm thinkin' of adding#helluva boss gravity falls over the garden wall and possibly the owl house once I finish it#I know I mentioned I wanna write some ocs x readers but I do wanna get more into that because I got this like Alice in wonderland themed#thing in my head where you the reader is alice and basically go through wonderland meeting all these people and at the end you have to#decide whether to stay in wonderland or to go back to the real world#theres more but like spoilers#might do that for like a 400 special whenever we get there because there's like 370 of y'all speaking of#thank you for putting up with me and my shitty posting schedule#anyways thats enough dilly dallying for me it's time
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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I am almost done with this fic and I feel like I need to give warning that there is a character in this fic with one of the weirdest speaking habits ever and it's going to be really weird for those of you who read my fics even if you're not familiar with the source material, cause oh boy 😂
#kee speaks#maybe not THE weirdest but he doesn't use first person pronouns and only uses his own name in place of i or me#and it's very entertaining while watching the guy who plays this character speaking like this#but good god is it hard to actually write in his vocal style#it makes me want to put my head through a wall trying to figure out how he would say something#and then i'm thinking of those of my followers who will read whatever i write regardless of where it comes from and i'm like oh man#they're going to think this is weird lmao#i'm just trying to get the character voices accurate and this is what i need to do to be accurate to this guy lol
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i don't have strong feelings on most of us tour but the ending actually makes me want to eat glass (positive connotation)
#YOU AND I KNOW FREDDIE'S NOT GOOD FOR MUCH OF ANYTHING EXCEPT PUSHING PIECES AROUND A CHESSBOARD.#YOU JUDAS... someone else's story as a FINALE... i'm going to put my head through a wall#.txt#chessposting
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guess who has only been regularly accessing tumblr again for a little over one week and is already having another sexuality crisis??
#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND PUT MY HEAD THROUGH THE WALL#SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN#i thought i came to the conclusion it doesn't matter how i feel about men#i thought i decided that i'm never going to come to a satisfying answer so i should stop worrying about it#i thought i decided that i need to work on being okay with uncertainty in my life#and that this was a good place to put that into practice because thinking about it was going to drive me to a full mental breakdown#but here we are again!!!!!!! *shrieking*#sapphic is a perfectly good term that shows that i like women and men are irrelevant#it doesn't require the certainty of lesbian or bisexual#it is a good word!!!!!!!!! it is okay to use it!!!!#it is okay that most other people are more specific! it is okay that other people only see it as an umbrella term#they don't matter!!! they aren't you and can't tell you your brain!#aaahahdgdhegeggegafafaffdhdjfjdlasjhfhshafrydbnxkdjdnxbdhdbdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#someone shoot me
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age gap autumn girl fuck you
#laid down on his bed he asks if i’m alright with him locking the door i say should i be afraid of you locking the door he rolls his eyes#i’m watching a pot on his stove we’re alone in his apartment he’s standing right behind me and i look at the glass of his kitchen window#so i can catch his reflection he’s just standing there waiting for his vegan pasta his meatless dish but i still feel like prey this#weekend i shared a hotel room with the kids they came over at night to watch a game and they’re all cuddled up around me they’re all#laughing and laughing and laughing and telling me about their exes and their boyfriends and i’m under the arm of one of them and he says#kitty kitty you’re going to fall off the bed i rest my head on another’s calf and she says kitty your hair is so soft and they’re all#laughing#i keep this in my drafts and a month after it's freezing at night i'm looking up at a man that might be fifty or at least forty five i#ask his name which i don't remember now because i was plastered. i was so drunk i tell him mister whatever-his-name was you're so handsome#and he blushes like i'm the one chasing him and that's because i am. i am laughing with all of my teeth out. he giggles pretty like i've#spent years doing and i ask him what is it sir what is it and he says i'm not usually told that and i nudge a little more i say you don't?#how? you're so handsome i say it in the way they all taught me in the way i've heard it before i keep going until he leaves for his place#but he doesn't invite me back because it's clear i've made him uncomfortable so i frown a little and lean back towards the boy i made out#with the night before i tell him huh old guy won't fuck me and he laughs he says so you really like them older i say yeah i laugh#i laugh and then i say but they don't seem to like me anymore he makes a joke about me having cut my hair short and i say no it's because#i'm too old for them now and he shakes his head do you see how fucked up that is he tells me and i just laugh harder but don't tell him it#is the truth. but not the whole of it. the rest of the truth is in me prowling through the bars another night and making eyes at them#instead of baring my neck when they come at me it's in me growing into a man in the steel of elevators and their sheets in the ac of their#offices and the heat of their cars and outgrowing them not to turn away from them but to become them that salivating beast they all are#all of us are i lean back on walls and show them a hip a boot-ed-on foot that is still small a wrist that is still thin a jaw that still#won't grow fuzz but don't they see right through they see right through this too small costume i've put on for them in the same way i#used to swear i saw through them too i swore i saw them for what they were but without even noticing they've done what they do in movies#and books and songs and middle-school health classes like in every warning that was given to me but here in this far away country i just#laugh and laugh harder when he says it makes sense though i mean i'm older than you too and he's only 24 and he says it so boyishly#almost with a pout and i cackle and he laughs too and there we are and we sound like children there in the street
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The epic highs and lows of trying to do laundry at a hostel
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I think about Raennyn a lot.
Maybe too much.
#reen talks#i wanna just ramble about Rae all day#but also i don't want to post a huge wall of text lol#i need oc questions for Rae#or i gotta go hunt for oc prompts to brainstorm Rae in#i'm shaking this ratshark in a jar rn#putting him through so many cinematics in my head as i listen to music while walking my dog
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