#I'm going crazy aren't I?
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*End of a long day, classes are over*
Beel and Belphie: *ready to go home*
Mc: *looks very tired and is laying their head on the desk*
Belphie: "Mc, class is over, we can go now"
Mc: "Yeah, I know Belphie. Just... give me a minute."
Belphie: *looks at Beel*
Beel: *nobs, swiftly picks up Mc and begins to carry them on his back*
Mc: "W-wha?! Beel! I said I could walk if I was just given a minute!"
Beel: "It's fine, I like holding you."
Mc: *slightly stunned and also tired*
Beel: *begins to walk while carrying Mc*
Belphie: *walks along side Beel*
Belphie: "Also means we'll get back faster, which means more time to nap before dinner."
Mc: *sighs* "Alright. You win."
Mc: *closes their eyes, wraps their arms around Beel's neck, and let's their body go slack*
Mc: "you win"
Beel and Belphie: *look at each other and smile*
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#obey me nightbringer#obey me mc#obey me x reader#obey me brothers#obey me brothers x reader#obey me brothers x mc#obey me x gn!reader#obey me x gn!mc#obey me belphegor#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me beel x reader#obey me belphagor x reader#obey me beel x mc#obey me belphie x mc#obey me swd#Wish I had a Beel to carry me#why cant they be real#i wish they were real#Don't mind me I'm going to go cry in a corner now#;-;#i feel like im losing my mind#Idk why#idk what else to tag#i'm going crazy aren't i?
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sun visits the moon at spk headquarters and gets so so so sleepy
#death note#my art#meronia#mihael keehl#nate river#mello dn#near dn#mellonear#trying out this new thing where i post quick art that is entirely for my own self-indulgent amusement here#this was an exercise in letting go of a piece as soon as possible and you can tell i failed because i couldn't stop retouching it#here and there. OLD HABITS DIE HARD but [with passion and confidence] expect a drop in quality/finishedness#kind of very into the colors here i like exaggerating their colors and saturations. their sun and moon codedness compels me#i also think people aren't as much into this ship because they assume they have very rigid [pardon my language] seme/uke roles and i'm like#[standing on soapbox] [crazy ex gf voice] the situation is actually a lot more nuanced than that#but these tags are long and i can't get into the push and pull power dynamics of it all. mello can heel is all i'm saying#ok that's all i have work to get back to drawing for work ( <- girl who just took a two hour break from drawing to draw)#brothercrush.txt
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BTW "destigmatizing mental illness" doesn't just mean being tolerant when someone says they have a psychiatric diagnosis or go to therapy, it also means investigating how your own view of "evil" may overlap with the signs of madness.
this is because the mainstream idea of what a "bad person" looks like is heavily influenced by sanism, thus most people's perception of what makes someone bad is literally just them being mentally disabled.
to support the crazy, you must accept that grandiosity, delusionality, attention-seeking, rage, homicidal ideation, and many similar experiences are not inherently dangerous. likewise, you must also understand that love and empathy are not the ultimate goods that everyone makes them out to be.
madness can easily be an abundance of the former and a lack of the latter, not just the quiet insecurity that most people reference when they talk about "mental health."
ultimately, the world will never be a truly safe place until it's a widely acknowledged fact that there's no such thing as villainous cognition or emotionality; prejudice is the source of all evil, not abnormality.
#antipsych#mad pride#because I literally experience all of this. I'm grandiose irritable and psychotic. I don't empathize or love 99% of the time#and yet! I'm kind! because I make an effort to avoid discriminating against people!#even if I don't care for others individually I can still rationalize that violence is bad and go from there#I've met even-tempered and loving people much worse than Me because they refuse to address their biases#or reduce their negative impact on the world around them#so TL;DR. bad people aren't crazy. they're just bigoted
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You know Red Bull reaaaaally fucked up when even the F1 reddit peeps are defending Daniel and criticising the way this entire situation has been handled. And this is just a small selection of these sorts of comments and they aren't even from huge fans of DR - just regular F1 fans with two eyes and a brain able to see this clusterfuck for what it is. 🙃🙄😤
#anyway I definitely feel more sane after seeing/reading these and like I'm not going crazy experiencing an alternate reality#not going to put in the main tag because I know these aren't going to be for everyone but if they help you also feel more sane then i'm gla#singapore gp 2024
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I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..
WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit. and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.
#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime#and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place#I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again#sergle answers#also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room#but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all#it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule#bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in
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There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.
I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.
How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?
And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.
I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.
#im going INSANE#i literally just have to filter out the batfam characters at this point#and even that doesn't help sometimes#holy shit guys what is GOING ON#seriously if i see one more fic thats all 'haha the justice league meets the batfam and they're so shocked! 😯 because they're crazy 🤣'#i don't know how to explain to you people that THEY HAVE SEEN WEIRDER#a bunch of ninja kids aren't even making the top ten weirdest moments my dude. like. at all.#not even remotely#i can't stress ENOUGH how normal that would be to them#anyway im going fucking bonkers over here#dc#dc comics#or god fucking damnit the YJ fics that literally just have Kon's life revolving around Tim#and Cassie and Bart are just background scenary. and only exist to push Kon and Tim together. I'm going to go fucking nuts#ship whoever you want but at least have the character have an actual character beyond 'love interest'#also jfc. every. single. birdflash fic. that has Wally just be a love interest with literally nothing fucking else going on#except his relationship with Dick. work? family? life? villains?? nope! no he's just madly in love with Dick and cute and thats it!#im GOING INSANE
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okay I know there's other enamel pins I've been meaning to re-release but umm what if uuuhhhhh
#are there other y2k robot dogs. I just know I'm forgetting some but idog and poo-chi are the only ones I personally grew up with#why aren't there more robot cats. why didn't we go as crazy over those as robot dogs
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doodles
edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#FINE#I was going to stop being annoying but No this is my blog#i do what i want#and like aren't you all here because I'm annoying about him#i'm giving the people what they want#also the way his face only half lit has me going crazy#jonathan byers#stranger things
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"I've been skipping two of the most important character POVs since the first book, am I missing anything?"
Honestly though, this is taking me out because I just know this is how a lot of people actually "read" the books. At this point the books have been discussed so much people just assume they know enough to skip through certain parts and that's exactly why we have so much misinterpretation in this fandom. People are getting their information through second-hand sources instead of the books themselves 😭
#arya stark#bran stark#asoiaf#fandom nonsense#like what do you mean you're just skipping their chapters???#the way people are comfortable with missing huge chunks of the story cause they think they know what happens is crazy to me#at least they're finally admitting it that's something#cause trust we can always tell when someone hasn't actually read the books no matter how much they lie about it#like yes I can tell y'all aren't reading Arya and Bran's chapters 😭#everytime I browse the asoiaf reddit I'm reminded of why I don't go on there
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#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me!#obey me mc#obey me! mc#obey me gn!mc#role swap au#obey me au#obey me random#Picturing angel and demon Mc and Soloman reminds me of those old gacha vids#Do yall know the ones?#Or am I crazy?#you know the ones#Where the there's an angel and demon#And they decide the afterlife or test a character#I'm going crazy aren't I?#idk what else to tag#obey me brothers#obey me dateables#obey me side characters#obey me undateables#Solomon would be a demon if Mc is angel#and vice versa#I feel like he'd also be a demon if Mc was something in between
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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why the fuck is it so socially acceptable to say hateful stuff about people with red hair
#there's literally a whole tiktok trend now about people saying they're resisting the urge to kill gingers#and people will hate on celebrities simply because they have red hair#make it make fucking sense like why is that treated as a joke#it makes me so mad and I feel like I'm going crazy WHY DOES NO ONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY#people with red hair have to grow up hearing weird gross comments about their hair#just like anyone else with physical traits that aren't considered 'socially acceptable'#I want to spit on ginger haters#fuck you my wife has red hair and it's the most beautiful hair color in the world#lyla's talking again
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happy pride !! <3
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#pink space#queer#pride#the flags are biromantic ace and lesbian :D#[boogies like crazy]#//this is my second pride so ! !!#//look at my gals. aren't they just [sparkles shoot from my eyes]? hhfbhs :33#fun fact i can't hear any love songs now without envisioning these two. they're. they. th. thhhhh. you get what i mean hghbfhs#//this pose also changed like 3 times As i was drawing it lmao#which is like. okay so what? but it happened and i didn't even notice until i was cleaning up the inks hghfhsh#/oh and i kind of love drawing kira's hair lol :3 :D#cuz she has this weird layer thing going on it's a lot of fun hfhs :DD#/also if you use an overlay glitch effect + put it Over your inks you can take a pink or red airbrush to the og inks and get the pink/red i#the glitch to pop real nice :D i just think that's neat hfhs#//okay now i'm going to skedaddle. skedoodle even. skoobdle#toodles :3
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sometimes when I have a moment ta think ta myself I step back and really reflect on how out of all the characters I've simped for, springtrap has been the longest lasting. and for what reason. why did my brain pick that guy. you know. the rotting corpse inside of a moldy bunny suit. that's the guy we wanna be insane over? okay.
#he also doesn't really follow the pattern of characters I've simped for b/c they were all rays of sunshine#and then there's this stinky man#that beautiful beautiful stinky man#see look my brain is doing it again#the fondness I feel for him is uncomparable ta the feelings I've felt for other characters#like it's not even close#spacie spoinks#I was crazy Abt rengoku once upon a time but that only lasted a couple months#like yeah springtrap is a combo of every character type/style/trope i like but he sucks balls#major balls dude#sighs.#I need him#i want to court him springtrap why aren't you reallllll#okay I'm going ta bed djdjdndndnndn#maybe I'll have another cute dream of him giving me a hug or something (unlikely)#would be nice tho
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every charlie slimecicle stream I've ever been able to tune into has just been a fever dream. what the fuck is this man.
#as i speak he is putting stock photos of campfires and fireplaces on the screen to make it “cozy” and so chat aren't “cold towards him”#I'm going crazy#charlie slimecicle#slimecicle#slmccl#liveblogging#slimecicle liveblogging
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