#I'm getting very nostalgic with this W

[astrxealis]

dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

[deanpinterester]

hi what

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

thoughts on how the Liyue Archon quest went [7]

the quest for the Cocogoat is 10/10, can i just say.

like it's literally just Qiqi: Cocogoat please Zhongli, who has never ever heard of a Cocogoat in his entire existence in Liyue: checks out, let's go.

when they fix up the Guizhong Ballista, the more Zhongli yaps the more Kaeya's like "oh, maybe i was wrong", but it's with the "we should focus on Qiqi's contract" that makes Kaeya go "oh, no, i was wrong. he IS the Geo Archon. whack."

also Lumi being a total Mom and having to sit w/ Qiqi and explain that coconut milk comes from coconuts and not a Cocogoat adepti beast??? 10/10. i love her sm, please

also??? Zhongli treating????

Zhongli: i've decided to treat you to a meal. Lumi: Zhongli. Treating. Kaeya: like paying for food. for us. and not the other way around. Zhongli: i won't forget the Mora this time.

i feel like at this point, Zhongli is kind of curious abt the Traveler Trio b/c he's a lil more focused. especially b/c, like, y'know, one of them is a Khaenriahn and the other two definitely aren't human.

obviously tho, he can't glean too much b/c, y'know, they're there to relax and then Ganyu shows up and askes the Trio to head to the Jade Chamber, and Zhongli's like "oh okay."

also speaking of the Jade Chamber, favorite bit has to be how Ganyu just,,, forgor to tell them how to get there. also, b/c of Keqing's spiel about the time of the Adepti passing, i kinda feel like Lumi and Kaeya kinda figure out like "oh, is that why he's stepping down?" and them being confused why he didn't just,,, step down.

current h/c for the Jade Chamber thing tho is Kaeya kind of nudging Paimon towards a very specific antique box from the Jeweler's b/c he's like 'I doubt the snacks will do shit, but this antique might be a different story'. also he and Lumi are incredibly impressed by Ningguang's reach in Liyue; very much a moment of "wowwwww, lotsa power u got there" meanwhile Paimon's freaking out b/c "OH U CAN JUST,,, KNOW THINGS"

and speaking of knowing things, Lumi and Kaeya figured that, w/ all of Paimon's yapping, Childe has already moved to betray them. i mean, this happened in Kaeya's quest for a reason, so they're not unaware, yk?

anyway, after the whole thing in the Jade Chamber and getting steered towards the Sigil stuff, i feel like Lumi sends Kaeya to meet up w/ Zhongli and essentially buy her and Paimon some time before they meet up to complete the Rite.

[rubberbandballqueen]

yesterday at work, i was left in charge of the kids all by myself for the first time, so i did that thing i always do, where i get over-the-top excited about talking and playing with them, and i remember there was this one little boy drawing dragons in the back who remembered n recognized me from summer camp who watched with dawning horror as he said, "oh no... they're weird"

[recolourrhys]

MAN........ rly missing the early 2000s internet experience of pixel doll bases. I feel like those are really fucking hard to find still being made??? Like KawaiiHannah was and still is the shit those r stunning pixel art I adore them. But I do have trouble finding n remembering the names of other old school pixel artists who were around at the same time (Ichitoko on dA is also an incredible pixel artist tho they sadly went MIA years ago)

But I can never find new ones being made or any pixel artists still doing that?? It was SO much fun and I mean the KH ones r still right there so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It feels like a relic from old deviantArt days or smth. Like the websites where you could make rooms n houses entirely out of isometric n 2D pixel art assets?? Who else remembers n obsessively used those

I MISS THAT SHIT so fucking much,,,,,

[foxsicle]

also to my mutuals: there may be a lot of liveblogging soccer from me this summer bc I got super into copa américa this year (being a teacher & having summers off is amazing btw hehe), so if you want to block the tag #copa that'd be the way to avoid soccer talk 👌

[noxtivagus]

i love kugane !!!!

[ghouldump]

Girlll did you delete your last fic? Whyyyy I was about to read it😭😭

Your Best Nightmare | Lestat de Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ being away from your companion, as both of you take on stardom, can be frustrating, but it is very rewarding to see your maker for the first time in months.

(anon asked for bi!reader w/ crossdressing lestat and if possible some nsfw content)

girl, somebody messaged me and said it was weird and i was confused like you watched a show with vampires killing people like bffr, but ig i’ll repost bc somebody else asked too 😂

The crowd seemed more lively than ever, screaming the frightening lyrics, but paid them no mind. Humans, despite having dominion over nearly every species, were quite stupid. They all had things they liked, they idolized, and in many of their eyes, it didn't take much to seem trustworthy to them. A quick photo of you holding the cheek of a beautiful mortal, and overnight, you were a national treasure — proof that vampires were not a danger.

Vampires, although people of the night, were only bound by their circumstances, and if there were others, they deserved the privilege to reveal themselves. It was cute, really, the same songs that were once deemed monstrous, alarming, and cultish, were now innovative, you were now an icon, like your lover, the vampire Lestat, you were simply adding your contribution to rock culture. However, they didn't even realize, all of them were wrong. They couldn't be more wrong about everything.

I'm your best nightmare,” you sang, as the audience joined you.

And then it happened, you were in my arms

Your lips on my throat- your hands on my, on my...

Two bodies together, the intimate sin

The pain and the pleasure, could do mortals in

How could you know, what I'm thinking of

To me lust can be, as beautiful as love

Here tonight, your pure heart and soul

Untainted passion should have no control

She asked me if I...

I told her the truth

I said "I'm sorry, it takes me, longer than you"

She smiled and blushed, and continued to grind

And promised to make me, go out of my mind

Returning her promise, she, came to a halt

Licking my lips, I, tasted her salt

Then she sat up and gasped and clutched at her breast

I thought she was coming- I'd never have guessed that

As she grew pale, as white as a flower

She collapsed to the floor and was dead in an hour

Hearing the humans singing along to the deranged song, you nearly laughed. Too foolish to grasp the very lyrics, escaping their mouths. A song about your very first hunt, alone. Delilah, the name itself brought a nostalgic tingle to your tongue.

You remember the night utterly, from the time you stumbled out of your coffin, to you crawling back in. You sat alone at the bar, The Dungeon, a frequent spot for tourists when she caught your eye. Dancing against her friend, they both laughed loudly, singing along to the music. Her skin was flawless, her makeup dark, with an incredibly flattering dress, hugging her curves beautifuly.

Just from staring alone, you almost held your throat from how thirsty you were. Standing up, you approached her, her friend nudging her, their eyes shifting to you.

"Hey," she smiled, briefly biting her lip.

"Hey," you repeated, peering into her thoughts, not a single piece was left unattainable from your view.

"Are you here alone?" she asked you, her friend whispering that she was going back to their group of friends, to give her privacy.

"I'm afraid I am," you smiled, as she moved closer, tilting her head.

"Then I'll have to keep you company"

"I'm very difficult to entertain"

"That's because you haven't met me," she giggled.

"Ah, I see, and what is the name of the woman I've waited for?" you asked her.

"Delilah"

"Very beautiful-

"Please, I was named after my grandmother," she said, smiling as you chuckled.

"I'm Y/n," you said, holding out your hand, shaking hers.

"Would you like to get out of here? Maybe have some fun at my place?" you asked, leaning closer, to glamour her.

"Yes, I'd love to," she smiled.

"Good girl, why don't you tell your friends that you're headed back to your hotel for tonight, because you're tired, and I'll meet you outside," you winked, watching as she went to the group of friends.

It wasn't much longer before you were both nude, her moans only continued to arouse your longing appetite. Her gentle kisses, and promises to rock your world, as her orgasm drew near — it only made you want to rip her to pieces more. Holding her soft hips, you felt your fangs emerging before you began to suck from her breast. She panicked for only a moment, choosing to follow along with your erotic behavior.

"I'm coming," she cried, grinding against your thigh. Her breathing hitched, feeling your cool fingers near her glistening pearl.

"You taste just as good as you look," you whispered, staring down, as you hovered over her.

"Your turn," she giggled, her eyes still shut. If only she had opened her lovely raven eyes, to see the monster in front of her. Blood dripping from your mouth, as you stared at her, seeing her for nothing more than she could ever be to you, food.

"Unfortunately, you won't get the honor, tonight, as your life is coming to an end," you said, and just as she was able to open her eyes, you lunged forward.

Draining her, you could sense her heartbeat, hear her thoughts, and feel the sensation of her nails clawing into your back. It was all euphoric, you were a monster, you could admit, and you loved every bit of the thrill, of experiencing such an occasion, with stunning humans.

As the final song came to an end, you waved, bowing at the arena of people, the music fading, as the stage lowered, giving the illusion that you were disappearing. Going backstage, you thanked your team for working so hard for the tour, before you changed clothing — and headed to your hotel. You intended to catch your flight tonight, but with the concert ending so late, you couldn't take the risk, as the sun was bound to rise in the next hour or two.

Although you felt impatient, you would have to wait another night, before you could catch the private jet to New Orleans, to him. Lestat de Lioncourt, your muse, maker, lover, and companion. He turned you nearly 40 years ago and you have been inseparable ever since.

With the both of you busy with your careers, the two of you promised that it would be fine to have flings on the side, as long as there were no feelings attached — not that you would be able to feel anything for another anyway. You had yet to meet another as passionate, as he.

As the driver stopped the car, you quickly made your way into the building, as the sunrise began to peak from behind the buildings.

"Good morning, miss Y/n," the receptionist smiled, batting her eyelashes as you looked her way.

"Morning," you winked, before entering the elevator.

Going to your floor, you stopped for a moment, seeing Amanda, your assistant, standing at the door, it only meant one thing, groupies. Your team sometimes selected women and men, bringing them to your room. Your publicists emphasized how important it was for you to not be seen hunting, and you were simply playing your role.

"Thank you, Amanda, why don't you go get some rest?" you spoke, grinning as she jumped, glancing over at you.

"Yes, of course, sleep well," she nodded, practically running to the elevator.

Opening the door, you squinted, trying to allow your eyes to adjust to the dim room. The blackout curtains blocking any potential sunshine. Hearing the sound of the faucet running in the bathroom, you entered and shut the door. Taking note that you couldn't hear any thoughts, you looked around for a handbag or wallet, to identify the person, just as the bathroom door opened.

Gasping, you couldn't contain the large smile, as Lestat exited the bathroom, he wore a black bralette, cheeky knickers, and a silk robe on top. His blond waves looked even more luscious than usual, with a light pink gloss on his lips and blush.

"You came to California, to see me," you said, trying to swallow the emotions bubbling inside. You felt so elated, seeing him for the first time in months.

"I couldn't go another day away from you, chéri," he confessed, as you moved closer, embracing him. Mumbling a low, "baby", while he held you near, placing a kiss on your lips.

"You look so pretty," you giggled, as he pecked your lips again.

"I had to look my best to get your attention, I've seen the woman that come to your shows," he smirked.

"They don't stand a chance, next to you," you said, as he stared longingly into your eyes.

"I missed you," he finally said.

"I missed you too," you said, as those words were all he needed to hear before his lips were connected to yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

Biting down on your lip, he groaned, lifting you in the air, walking over to the bed, before breaking the kiss — as you peeled each article of clothing away, your eyes set on his piercing blue ones.

"This is so cute," your eyes twinkle, as he removed the robe, the obvious bulge in his panties catching your attention. Sitting on the bed, in front of him, he went to his knees. Kissing your lips, he moved down your neck, holding your waist, as you arched your back. "Love," you moaned, feeling his breath against your skin, causing goosebumps.

Laying back, you bit your lip, as his mouth traveled south. Kissing your glistening pearl, before hungrily consuming her. Your fingers found their way to his blonde tresses. Your eyes could hardly stay open, as his tongue repeatedly lapped over your cunt.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you moaned loudly, "I'm so close," you said, the orgasm escaping, as his long fingers moved up to your breast - caressing them.

"I wasn't sure how much longer I could take, being away from you," he spoke, as you agreed, pulling him close to kiss his lips, smearing the lip gloss on his pale skin.

"Take this off, please," You tugged on the bralette, you needed every part of him, bare.

As he stood, you grinned, exploring his toned body. He kept his usual sultry eye contact, as he slowly removed the lingerie, purposely teasing you.

"Lestat," you whined, giggling.

"Patience is a virtue, ma chéri," he smirked, as he approached you, bound to another night of sharing his endless love with you.

"Fuck Patience, I need you now," you groaned, making him laugh.

"Anything for you"

in the original post, i explained that all of the upcoming posts won't be released in a particular order, since i’m working on everything in my drafts.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ when i'm alone ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @lokotrona11 ˚₊ ⊹

ft. peter pevensie x f! reader — the chronicles of narnia

╰₊✧ peter meets a bookworm who makes life in london a bit more bearable┊1.3k words (prt two coming soon)

setting: england after the golden age contains: exposition, first meetings, strangers to friends, minor blood & injury & mentions of fights

➤ author's note: the very first narnia request i received!! there will be a part two that’s further into their relationship and includes more of the request, so please look forward to that (it will be better than this one, trust me, i just thought this meeting would be cute)!

to say adjusting to life back in england was difficult would be an understatement. although it was nice to see his mother again and the familiar landscape of where he grew up, it doesn’t change the fact that it was a complete accident as a result of them exploring during a hunt and going back towards the wardrobe’s tunnel in nostalgic curiosity. all of the siblings would be lying if they said that home had the same magic spark that narnia did with the gray skies and the nauseous smell of pollution, but at least they had the wonders of modern technology here like lightbulbs rather than wax candles. it was even a shock for them to remember that they are no longer the only humans in the world, that animals didn’t talk anymore, and that mythical creatures like centaurs and griffins were only real in fiction. however, the most difficult change for peter by far was the fact that he was no longer the king of a fantastical land, instead he was now some nineteen-year-old boy who wasn’t taken seriously and was often told to go off and do literally anything else that isn’t meddling in adult affairs. it’s common knowledge that he was always very mature for his age since he’s constantly looking out for the younger ones, but it was such a drastic change for him to already be acting like he was in charge of everyone after just a few weeks in the countryside and even wondered what the eccentric professor must have taught him for him to come back acting all high and mighty.

he’s tried so hard to go back to being a normal boy, yet he struggles to hide the regality in the way he acts and the air of superiority he holds. the other former royals are used to his behavior even before being crowned, but soon he found himself isolated from others his age no matter how close they were previously and getting into physical fights with anyone crosses him. he was no longer used to holding his head low when disrespected and now that he’s had a taste for being held in high esteem, he would no longer tolerate it and was now known as a troublesome person whom most people steered clear of.

although his family was concerned for him, peter didn’t seem to have cared less about how quickly his reputation plummeted and he spent his days as a loner. he often found himself exploring the city’s largest library instead of playing sports or getting a job since no one wanted to hire a rebel, reading through overly complicated books about portals and other dimensions. he knew that science wouldn’t be able to explain the phenomenon that he experienced since it was magic, but studying up on the subject made him feel a little bit better that there were other people around the world exploring the subject.

the entire section dedicated to this field of knowledge was in a far corner quite a ways from the entrance, a dusty little space a tad bit darker than everywhere else, and never had a soul near it which made it the perfect place for him to brood and be alone for the most part. the only other person he saw there occasionally was you, someone he only saw through passing within school hallways and heard about receiving academic prizes all the time. while classes were out, he fully believed you had already read all the books in the building. you were there from the moment the sign was flipped to “open” until the moment the librarian told you it was closing time, never thoughtlessly roaming around since you always walked with purpose knowing exactly what you were looking for, and often seen carrying books that towered over your head threatening to tilt over.

despite seeing you every single day, he never really had the chance to talk to you. you seemed so… untouchable… like you didn’t have the time or place to spare for people who weren’t in your schedule. he wonders if he used to appear like that to others back in narnia when he was rarely approached by anyone who wasn’t one of his siblings, but at least he had the excuse of being a high monarch— what was yours? it was the first time he found himself curious and thinking about something else that wasn’t his former life.

turns out, peter’s chance came to him when he least expected it and when he was in his most vulnerable state: freshly bruised and cut up after a fight with a gang of middle schoolers over stepped-on toes. he’s landed himself in this situation countless of times yet still never learns his lesson to leave it alone before it escalates. fortunately, he got to witness the satisfying conclusion of the leader getting dragged away by his mother, but he was really the one with the egg on his face when he barely managed to get in a single punch while he ended up with a busted lip. to say he was pissed off was an understatement, but frankly, emotions that weren’t anger or longing didn’t come to him much anymore. he didn’t want to get a scolding from his family about he should have been more careful again so he wandered back into the library to take care of himself in his usual corner, unwittingly catching your eye on his way and leading you to him.

neither of you said anything when you walked up to him with a first-aid kit in hand as you used your eyes to ask for permission to patch him up and he simply nodded to grant it, the silence being more tense than awkward. you wrapped bandages around his aching knuckles, applied ointment to his wounds, and uttered nothing but a “hold still” when he hissed in response to the sharp pain of hydrogen peroxide on his lip. he didn’t even feel your skin against his, just feather-light touches that tickled him slightly as he intently looked at you while you were focused. he’s never seen you up close before so he took the opportunity to study your features, slowly realizing that he developed a crush on you at some point and immediately straightening his posture to act like he wasn’t staring when you glanced back at him.

“you’re… the guy who’s always reading about different dimensions, right? your name is... peter?”

“yeah… that’s me.” he's surprised that you knew anything about him at all, much less his name and the books he was reading. considering that you were always in your own little world, it meant that you paid more attention to your surroundings than he originally thought.

“have you visited any other realms lately?” your tone was serious, but the absurdity of the question made it sound like a joke.

“you wouldn’t believe me, it sounds ridiculous.”

“really? i’ve heard all kinds of tales, i doubt it would be even close to the worst one.” you weren’t sure why you were the first to start the conversation when you never cared for your peers or what they had to say before.

“well… it all started when we left for the countryside and my youngest sister wanted to play hide and seek…” he wasn’t sure why he was telling you about the wardrobe and narnia when he refused to open up about it to anyone other than his siblings, but it felt right to do it. at best, you’ll believe him and he’ll have someone to talk to. at worst, a cute girl will think that he’s crazy.

neither of you were quite sure about the reasons behind this conversion, but perhaps there didn’t need to be one as long as it felt like the right thing to do.

request [ I didn't find your requests so I'm writing to you here 😅 I wanted to ask Peter falling in love with a bookworm (they only see each other in the library in the last hallway and she's shy and all that) (in the second movie) in London, as if she were the one capable of removing his anger for a while and Peter felt calm with that little girl. (If you write smut with +18 at the end or just fluffy, whatever you choose) ]

[gaypirate420]

hi! Love your Jasper fics. Could I request Jasper x Gen neutral reader who is very young at heart and has a stuffed animal collection, with Jasper gifting them a new stuffed animal? Thank you 😊

I love this request as someone who owns a shit ton of stuffed animals.

Another one, thank you, another one, thank you, another one-// Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper hale x gn! reader.

Fluff.

Jasper chuckled as you jumped into your bed, all your stuffies jumping and burying you completely out of his sight.

The blonde places your backpack down and helps you take your shoes off.

"Darlin'." He called for you as he sits down in a free corner of your bed, your head peeks out of the plushies.

"Yes, cowboy?" You tilted your head, he has that little smirk on his lips.

"You got something for me." You say with a smile, the vampire nods. You sit up and he can feel your emotions go on a high, your smile getting bigger.

Jasper takes a small bag out of his backpack and handles it to you, you shake your hands with excitement.

Then you stopped.

"Did I miss our anniversary?" You asked with wide eyes. The vampire can't help but chuckle at your scared face.

"No, sugar. I got it for you- just because." He spoke softly and lifted you into his lap. You opened the bag and screeched with excitement. The blonde chuckled and held you tight.

"Oh my god! Oh my gooood! This is so cute!" You shouted with emotion as you held a small horse plushie in your hands.

"It kinda looks like Beauty, don't you think?" You looked up at him, Jasper saw the horse and yes, it resembled his old horse, specially the white spot, he nodded with a small, nostalgic smile.

You were exploding with happiness you threw yourself at him, making you two fall off your bed. The vampire chuckles and makes sure you didn't hit your head.

You attack him with lots of kisses on his face, he drowned in your affection, letting himself get lost in your own excitement and happiness.

"I love you!" You giggled as you hugged him tightly. Jasper smiled widely and wrapped his arms around you.

"I'm guessing you liked it, darlin'." He chuckles and kisses your lips softly.

A/N: Hello! Short and fluffy fic for y'all! Hope y'all like it!

[ilylovelyz]

slow burn kiyoomi x reader 🥹

⍣ ೋ what is love?

˚ · . sakusa x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ slowburn, angst w happy ending, heartbreak/rejection, mutual pining, denial is a river in egypt sakusa, slight jealousy and possessiveness, none of these are in order btw, sakusa is such an asshole, this is kinda all over the place </3, literally my longest story ever, my terrible attempt at my first actual slow burn, this is split into two parts because my phone cant handle it, prt 2.

we met for a reason. i'm still trying to figure that part out.

romance is something that sakusa didn't think was necessary in life.

he didn't deem it a serious issue, nor did he want that issue of "falling in love". whenever he heard his friends talking about their girlfriends or just romance in general, he had to hold back an aggressive eye-roll because he didn't see the hype of it all.

too busy with volleyball, he could barely make time for his own friends and family. he was okay with that, he didn't want to be distracted anyways. he didn't need that dumb "romance", he didn't need someone to hold his hand while he cried or whatever.

he didn't need to have someone to love, all he needed was himself, and himself only.

but, he couldn't help those vast, deep feelings late at night. the clock would read a wee time in the morning, but he couldn't sleep. his mind was purged with thoughts, questions, and curiosity.

what is love?

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

he didn't expect his question to be answered so soon.

he remembers it in extreme detail, the day he met you. the air was getting colder, the trees getting more bare and leaves falling with every slight breeze. it was the beginning of his third year of high-school, his last year of high-school. he wanted to savor his last year before he finally graduated into adulthood, often admiring the crunch the orange-brown leaves underneath his feet.

he would find himself taking a different route home, walking through a park with many trees and plants. he thought the view was nice. the park was very popular when he was younger, but now, it was considered unordinary to even see a stray dog walking nearby.

the once beloved park was all but forgotten, giving a nostalgic yet liminal feeling. but it seemed it wasn't forgotten by all.

he was near almost exiting the park when he saw a bench ahead, with a figure sitting on it. the closer he got, did he realize it was a girl around maybe his age. when he was maybe 10 feet away from the bench, did he see that the girl was wearing his school uniform.

he was going to just leave the park, but of course, you heard his footsteps and acknowledged his presence, causing him to halt his steps. "hello! i didn't know that anyone was still visiting this place. you're wearing my school's uniform too! what's your name?" you eagerly said, almost blinding him with your energetic and bright energy.

he wonders how differently life would've been if he hadn't given you his name and engaged in small talk with you. although the conversation was short and almost awkward, he found an odd pleasure talking with you.

from the way he was so standoffish and cold, he, for some reason, thought you wouldn't be there the next day, maybe scaring you off from coming there again. and of course, the next day, you were there. you were sitting up on the bench, almost like you were awaiting him.

once you saw him, you harassed him with more questions and excited small talk, asking him little things and what grade he was in, etc. he was, like always, stiff and almost resistant, but that didn't seem to stop you from trying to make a conversation with him.

it was like that for the next few days, just you engaging random conversations with him as soon as he within 5 feet of you. at the beginning, it was almost exhausting because you were persistent and almost pushing information and communication with him. at some point, he would resist the urge to run away or telling you to simply shut up and leave him alone, or even just wondering if he should go back to his old walking route.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

within a few weeks it was like talking and seeing you become apart of his routine. the weather was much colder, and the days became shorter. after practice, an unaware komori would ask him if he would like to go with him to convenience stores or karaoke, but sakusa would immediately decline. he didn't even think about it before declining, nor did he think of a reason behind it.

to a logical sakusa, the sun was setting quickly now that it was the cold seasons, and with every minute, the air was getting colder, so he had to be quick and walk home. but, to a subconscious sakusa, he was quick to walk home because he knew you would be waiting for him. it would be rude to keep you waiting.

everything was good like that for a while. he came to accept your persistence and conversations, seeing you as nothing more than the chatty person on the bench, at the forgotten park, who has near 10 keychains on her school bag. he found himself conversing with you without a thought, almost talking with you until sunset, sometimes having to run home because he got carried away in conversation with you.

after he acknowledged your presence, he began to see you everywhere at school. whether it be walking to school (after deciding to take the park route for the mornings as well), at lunch, or even in the hallways. as usual, you would smile at him, bright and welcoming as always.

he remembers the day in great detail he acknowledged maybe you were a little more than "the chatty person on the bench, at the forgotten park, who has near 10 keychains on her school bag". it was in mid-november, when they had a particularly good and hard match held at their school. it felt good to win, and it felt even better that they didn't have to travel for it.

it was when he looked at his phone's time, exiting the locker rooms did he realize that he was forgetting something important. he didn't realize what is was though, but he tried to shrug it off by joining komori to go to a convenience store to get some celebration snacks, particularly umeboshi filled rice balls.

it was when he was paying for the snacks did he see a cute pink bear keychain, did he remember what he forgot about. within a second, and almost scaring his dear cousin, did he quickly pay and practically dash out the store, running down the sidewalk to the way to of the park. he ignored the oncoming rain clouds and sounds of thunder, almost slipping and running into many water puddles, almost falling his way down the stairs of the park.

he only stopped running when he was 10 feet away from the bench, chest heavy and rapidly moving as he tried to regain his breath. the sun was already setting, the sky in a shade of bright red to a solemn cloudy blue. he walked closer to the bench, eyes guilty as he took in your rain-soaked uniform and wet hair.

"why didn't you just go home." he asked, though it didn't sound much like a question, more like a demand. you stayed quiet for a minute, and during that minute, did sakusa's mind be purged with similar questions of why didn't you just go home. he just couldn't understand you.

"because i just wanted to talk with you, is all."

he mentally facepalmed at your response. are you serious? his eyebrows visibly cringed, mouth slightly agape at your nonchalant, almost brain cell-degrading response. no way this is real. no way you are real.

suddenly he found himself coming towards you, grabbing you from the bench with your wrist, forcing you onto your feet as he dragged you along with him to walk home. he didn't know where the hell you lived, but that didn't stop him from dragging you with him. on the way, he scolded you so intensely at some point he was just blabbering about how you piss him off so much, and that he just can't seem to understand how stupid you are.

for what reason did you do all of that for?! just to talk? unbelievable.

his almost insulting words and near-degradation just seemed to go in one ear, and out the other though, as you found yourself giggling and making mischievous remarks to his verbal abuse. your non-serious responses without a care in the word just seemed to make him angrier, the veins in his neck almost prominent because he was just that angry.

after a lot of walking around, he somehow found where you live without your help because you seemed to enjoy his suffering, and after a especially crude and almost bewildering response from you did he just have enough of you. before you could even laugh, he was spinning around to face you, grabbing you roughly by your shoulders, and shaking you intensely. almost as if he was trying to shake some common sense into you.

after condemning you to the hell, he roughly shoved two umeboshi rice balls and the pink bear keychain into your chest before storming off home. you ignored the way he basically assaulted you, only smiling at the fact that he had obviously thought of you when buying two umeboshi rice balls. he said it was his favorite food one of the first few times you had talked with him.

walking into your empty house, where you had no siblings, and two very hard-working parents. sitting down onto the floor's ledge to take off your shoes, you grabbed your school bag, adding the 11th keychain to your collection.

you blushed intensely at the seemingly little detail. how cute of him to note your little obsessions.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

yet another day that left sakusa laying awake at night thinking about the day's nonsense. particularly, your nonsense.

he was closing his damn eyes! he was somehow getting a headache from it. the "useful hack" his mother always told him on school nights when he seemed to have a hard time sleeping wasn't working. he found himself sighing in defeat, eyes wondering to the clock besides his bed every 5 minutes or so.

2:44am. massaging his temple, he laid his palm over his forehead. you're going to be the death of him. for the past few weeks, you've been almost plaguing his life. you've plagued his park, his school, his volleyball, hell, even his dreams.

could he even call them dreams? more like nightmares.

his hand traveled down to his mouth, covering it in denial.

his eyes were low with resistance and exhaustion, softly fluttering as he deeply inhaled, preparing himself as he sought out for reasoning and "maybe"s to explain your stupid actions and the way you've become such a distraction to his once peaceful life.

except, there were no "maybe"s. only one truth, that he doesn't want to accept

he let out the breath he's been holding back for the past minute or so for a sigh of defeat. his other free hand comes to lay against his chest, feeling his heart beat rebelliously against his will.

he finally feels the need for sleep, eyes closing to escape from his thoughts. he's had enough for the day. he's had enough. before he lulls asleep, he thinks back to the question he's only asked himself during the similar times when he wasn't able to fall asleep due to mindlessness curiosity.

what is love?

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

the day after that, sakusa hesitantly makes his way to the park.

it's cold as hell, he might have to start taking the much shorter route home, but he knows he won't.

he's slow with his walk in the park, knowing that towards the end, he'll have to pass by you, and engage with you like always. when he does walk past you, you don't engage with him as quickly as you usually do.

he doesn't know if it's because today, the weather is shit, or if it's because he looked almost disturbed at the sight of you after yesterday, or perhaps.. no. he shakes his head at the "maybe"s, it's best to be logical. he thinks that you're stupid enough to not have connected the dots.

he stands, again, away from you, almost as if he's ready to just walk away from you. but today, unlike his usual 8-10 feet distance sway from you, he's gotten closer. he's instead 5 feet away from you, how cute of him to try to try to be closer today, even after you put him through hell yesterday.

he puts his hands into the pockets of his trousers. you chalk it up to him being cold because he wasn't wearing gloves, for a matter of fact, he hasn't been wearing gloves for a while now. he used to have a pair, black, but he seemingly has lost them.

you stay observing him for a minute, eyebrow raised and mouth in a fine-line. he cowers his head into his black scarf, a little nervous due to your sudden stoicism.

you observe him even closer now that he's physically closer to you. he has nice hair, quite fluid and bouncy curls that move with the sharp wind. he has nice cheekbones, nose tall and great. it's cute how his one pale feature are now twinged with a light redness due to the cold.

you think he looks better in the winter, his dark and mysterious aura blends in with the subliminal background. almost like a model. with his dark coat and scarf, he looks snug and cozy, you're jealous.

suddenly, you're smiling at him mischievously. "'omi.." you coo, arms reaching for your school bag. at first. he used to scold you for addressing him by his first name, heartlessly telling you that you're not his friend, and that it's disrespectful not to use honorifics with someone you barely know. but now, he finds himself somehow softening at the nickname you've given him. somehow. but he's more nervous at the way you're smiling at him, smiling at him the way a teacher with no empathy does after they gave their student detention after being late by one minute.

he's prideful at the way he was able to hide he was about to turn blue from holding his breath as he wrote up your unusual behavior as you point out the newest collection to your keychains. "i really like the keychain you got me." you snide.

he silently nods at your words, not unusual due to his quiet nature. "i think it was really cute." you smirk. his head props up at the praise, "yeah, i got it at the little convenience store near the-", "no, i'm not talking about the keychain. i mean, i am, but i thought it was cute that you bought it for me." you interrupt, eyes crinkled up into a silly smile.

"were you thinking of me?" you say, covering your mouth in feigned surprise. his once stoic features turned almost annoyed. he finds that his face heats up, but chalks it up to the cold temperature.

his eyes blink a few times as you randomly start looking through the messy-ness that you call the contents of your bag, rummaging through crinkled up papers and candy wrappers before you seemingly find what you're looking for. with speeds that he swears he's never seen your lazy ass travel at, you whip out a pair of knit thick black gloves, holding it close to your face as you show it off to him before holding it them out for him.

"i made them for you. i noticed you haven't worn your black gloves in awhile, did you lose them?" with that, his annoyed expression soon softens with defeat.

usually due to the short daylight timing now, he would be heading home. the sun is close to setting, and the temperature is only getting lower. but, he finds sighing to himself slowing making his way closer to the bench before sitting down on it for the first time ever in the history of the past four months of talking with him.

you grin at this, mouth opening to start yet another mindless conversation with him.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

"yo, kiyoomi. do you have any plans for this saturday?" komori asks, "me and the team are going to go for karaoke and then something to eat. you should come." sakusa finishes wrapping up a knit black scarf around his neck before responding. "no, sorry, i have plans for this saturday. maybe another time."

komori is disappointed, but not surprised. "what do you have planned?" he asks, curious to as what his introvert cousin has planned. he takes note of the new scarf kiyoomi has, it's quite thick and warm looking. it's then does he connect the dots.

"are you going on a date with y/l/n-san?!" he teases, bringing a hand up to tug on the end of the scarf that was most-likely made by you, as, according to what sakusa said about you during the last family function after his mother pointed out sakusa has been seen "nonchalantly" texting with a girl and was all the sudden curt and annoyed.

it was during then that sakusa had admitted it was a girl, but refused the fact that it was in that way of texting, y'know, talking. but following that statement, he proceeded to privately talk to komori about you after he pressed him more on the matter.

one of the only few things sakusa said about it was him hesitantly muttering "she likes to knit, she's a grandma." before he refused to say anything more. it was only until a week later when komori finally met you after he spotted you and sakusa talking in the hallway.

he slapped his hand away from the scarf defensively. "it's not a date! it's just a casual hang-out." he scoffed coldly, hands trying to fight off his cousin's teasing hands, almost turning into a full-on wrestling match.

"congrats on getting a date!" one of his teammates said as he left the locker room, curly hair distressed from the assault he had just endured. he didn't have anymore energy to reply. he was slightly annoyed at his teammates making a big deal out of nothing. but why was he being so defensive about it? even to himself it was weird. overall, as he said, it's just a hang-out. not a date. nothing serious.

his hands fumbled around in his pockets, clad with the gloves you made him as waited at the intersection. his eyes stared at the road lights, counting down the seconds he could cross before eventually the light that was the pedestrian symbol lit up. he crossed with haste, overtaking those also making their way across. "mama, i'm cold," he heard a child say, clinging to their mother's warmth.

it is cold today. very cold, one of the coldest days so far this winter. he's lucky that you were kind enough to make him gloves and eventually a scarf, thick enough that it might as well be considered some type of cold resistant armor. his gloved hand mindlessly comes up to play with the ends of the scarf, it's become like a destresser for him when in large crowds like these.

he finds his anxiety dissipating as he gets closer towards the park, the crowds becoming more scarce before there's only one or two wondering souls walking around. he eventually comes to the main entrance, to the stairs of the sidewalk that leads into the low elevated park's grass. he makes sure to grab onto the metal handrail as he slowly steps down the now frozen-over steps before eventually stepping into the snow clad grass.

it's now december. almost 5 months of meeting you, and 5 months filled with meeting you after-school at this park. he makes his way towards the meeting spot, thick slow crunching underneath his feet with every step.

he sighs deeply as he sees you from across the field. you're just a tiny dot in the horizon, but he knows it's you. . the serene gentle snowfall and almost all-white background seems to be almost unreal as you sit back on the bench, eyes low and face the calmest he's seen as you wait for him.

you haven't seemed to have notice him yet, you have bad senses after-all. he takes this opportunity to just stand there and watch you, wondering if you'll do anything weird or unusual. but you don't, you just sit there, calm, awaiting him. it's not until the breeze picks up and his time of usual arrival has long passed do you start to look around.

much to your surprise, and for some reason, his surprise, do you finally see him standing 15 feet behind you, watching you.

you fluster and babble out obscenities as you connect the dots and realize he's been there all along, watching you. "you watching me this entire time? that's so rude y'know." you pout, arms crossing with feigned annoyance as he takes his place on the bench next to you.

he softly sighs at your whining, "i wanted to see if you would notice. you're not the brightest bulb out there y'know?" he says for-a-matter-of-fact. you proceed to give him the cold shoulder.. for two minutes before you're switching up your attitude and giving him a bright smile, turning your body towards him.

you ask him a question that you've been asking him for the past few days now.

"let's go to the plaza saturday!" you chatter, eyes wide with excitement as you tell him all the "benefits" of him going to the mall with you. "y'know, we can walk around, look at all the stuff, maybe buy some stuff, eat some stuff, and even go see the big christmas tree they put up!" he's quiet after, eyes looking to the side with feigned boredom.

you whine out defeatedly. "c'mon, omi.." the cry of his name has him softening once again. he was going to say yes eventually, just to torture you the way you love to torture him, but with the saying of his once-annoying nickname you chose for him, he gave in, slumping with a sigh.

"gee, fine. i'll go." he said, eyes rolling at your gleeful shouts. he tunes out your excited talks about what the two of you could do at the plaza when he realized that it's getting dark quicker than usual.

you stop talking when he abruptly stands up. "omi? you're leaving already..?" you cry out, eyebrows arching with disappointment. hands patting the snowfall off his coat, he turns to you. he's for some reason quick to soothe you. "we should start getting home, it's already getting dark. i don't want you walking home alone while it's dark."

you blush at his invitation, "you're walking me home..?" his eyebrow arches as he gives you a questioning look. "did i not say i don't want you walking home alone at night? it's dangerous."

"no, you've said enough, let's go!" you say, a hop in your step as you get up and start walking alongside him.

the walk home was unusually quiet yet peaceful. he walked a few steps behind you, whilst you were peacefully unaware, he was paying close attention to any shadow that moved.

at some point, a guy with a large black hood walked past the two of you, thus sparking a large spike of anxiety within sakusa. suddenly, the lazy walk turned into one of haste as his hands became glued to your back, forcing you to practically speed walk.

"kiyoomi! not everyone is an enemy!" you cried out, almost tripping over your own feet after a particular harsh shove when sakusa decided you weren't going fast enough for his liking.

much faster than to your liking, the two of you made it to your home. "better safe than sorry." he said stoically, opening your front gate for you while his eyes were still wandering around for anymore "suspicious" people. you pouted at this lame attempt of walking home together for the first time. "geez, you're such a scaredy cat." you mumbled.

he found himself lightly chuckling at your words. "goodnight, y/n-san," closing your front gate, making sure it was secure and locked, though, he didn't have much faith in it, as it was a simple stake bed latch. you yelled back a farewell goodnight, looking back to look at him as you unlocked your door before giving him a final smile and stepping into your house and closing your front door.

he stood at your gate for a minute before noticing your bedroom light come on, seeing you peek out the window. "what a creep," he hypocritically said to himself before finally walking back the way to his own house, once again passing by the same hooded guy, watching him with cold eyes.

except this time, the hood wasn't on. sakusa's eyes widened with embarrassment as he saw it was a simple, old frail man, almost old looking enough to be someone's great grandma.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

sakusa stayed close to you as the two of you walked around the crowds of people, making sure not to get too close to them for the sake of sakusa's sanity.

it was saturday, and here the two of you were, at the plaza.

sakusa was not big on fashion, but he did make it a point to not be lazy and at least try to look good. but since it was an outing, he made sure to try especially hard to look good. for some reason, he found himself wondering your opinion on some of his clothes as he picked out what to wear.

he sported a black oversized jacket a grey hoodie underneath and black trousers with white shoes. he made sure his curls looked extra tight and bouncy today as well. he also wore the scarf and gloves you made for him

he was relieved when his efforts didn't go unnoticed. "you really outdid yourself today. this is like, my first time seeing you without sweatpants, haha. oh, you smell nice too! did you get a new cologne?" you praised, hand coming to playfully punch at his shoulder.

"no, i wear this cologne, 'like', all the time, you look.. okay today too." he sarcastically said, pausing mid-sentence to eye you with feigned disgust. while you were whining and insulting him back, he took note of your outfit. you were wearing a beige wrap coat and large fluffy pink scar, with cream pants and white boots. he looked away quickly, looking everywhere but you. for some reason you're hard to look at today.

"so do you wanna eat first or-", before you could finish your sentence, you were interrupted by a call of sakusa's first name. you turned to see who called, eyes landing on the familiar face of sakusa's cousin, the rest being what you could only guess as sakusa's volleyball team.

"we didn't expect to see you here! what a coincidence?!" one of his teammates loudly boasted. before either of you could realize it, his teammates had practically surrounded him, separating the two of you. he could only quiver and shake with embarrassment as one of his worst fears could ever come to be. you stood there off to the side as you watched as they basically kidnapped sakusa and at the same time, pampered him like some baby.

you didn't know if you should laugh or just walk away. you know how it was for a guy and his friends. go big or go home.

you were deciding whether or not to fake an emergency before komori had suddenly called your name, catching the attention of his teammates. suddenly, you were the one who was kidnapped and pampered as you were bombarded with questions and introductions. you swear you even heard one of sakusa's teammates scold him for keeping a "big secret" away from them.

sakusa was about to proclaim his innocence and state it was a simple hang-out, not a date, before he literally almost snapped his neck at one of his unaware teammates calling you cute. that was his breaking point, as he found himself forcing a barrier between you and his teammates, practically condemning them to hell.

suddenly one of his teammates had the bright idea to bring what he probably thought was the best suggestion ever. "since we are now all here, let's hang out!" like unison, they all agreed as one, excluding a regretful komori and sakusa. he turned to you with a frightful face as you even agreed.

his worst nightmare, come true.

the next few hours were spent dreadfully as his you and his teammates practically dragged him alongside random places. arcades, shops, entertainment, food stalls, you name it, if it existed, it was visited.

"hey! let's go into this souvenir shop!" komori yelled, taking interest in a specific aesthetically-pleasing souvenir shop. "but we aren't even, like, foreigners.. we live here-", he said, trying to disagree before he was yet again dragged in.

he felt himself at wit's end. he just wanted this to be a relaxing day, with no distractions nor faults. he wasn't even able to talk with you that much, as this entire fucking time, his teammates were treating you like some damn celebrity. he somberly walked around the souvenir shop, nothing particularly special or eye-catching.

he was walking with a limp in his step before he suddenly nearly bumped into you. all the sudden, he had no limp and he wasn't dying of boredom. "aren't these cute?" you purred, eyes glued to silver keychains of various designs. he took note of the keychains, some of them gold, some of religious designs, some of animals, some mixed with stars and hearts.

he nodded to your question. "yes, they are." the sweet, finally quiet moment between the two of you was suddenly interrupted by a loud, grating voice of the same seemingly still unaware teammate from earlier addressing you by your first name. "hey y/n, what you lookin' at?" he cheerfully said, clearly not having a speck of awareness.

sakusa felt weird for some reason. almost a bit embarrassed. no, thats not it. he can't quite bit his finger on it. "oh, so suddenly you're on a first name basis with y/n-san? she's your senior, and you just met her didn't you?" he snided, almost growling at his blissfully unaware teammate.

his teammate frowned at sakusa's harsh words, "she doesn't have a problem with it. why do you care?" sakusa found himself almost fuming at that, only calming down komori finally stepped in, overhearing their conversation from nearby.

"hey, kiyoomi, y/l/n, we are gonna go back to the arcade, do you wanna come?" he asked, trying to diffuse the situation. thankfully, you declined his invitation, too fixated in the many keychains in front of you. sakusa happily declined, bidding farewell to his teammates.

as he watched them leave, he couldn't help but be so bothered by the whole situation. hand in his pocket, he frowned at the experience. he tuned everything out, only replying to your questions with short responses.

why is this so difficult? why is he even so mad? he can't just be mad at his teammate like that. but he is. but why? it was just small talk between the two of you. but then again, his teammate doesn't know you like that enough to be referring and talking to you like you're a good friend of his or something.

sakusa himself doesn't even refer your first name without honorifics, and he definitely didn't call you by your first name within three hours of meeting you too. his teammate doesn't know the way you have an obsession with keychains. his teammate doesn't know you like knitting. his teammate doesn't know the first 5 things about you like sakusa does, so he needs to stop with being all buddy-buddy with you.

mid-mental rant, he oddly found his hand coming up to his scarf, intertwining his fingers with the ends of the loose yarn. his eyebrows are furrowed intensely with thought as he tried to figure out whats bothering him.

he's distressed as his fingers fumble with the yarn, mind working as he tries to figure out a solution to this new issue of his.

"omi?" you coo out.

he's quick to look up at you, voice alluring and gentle. "omi, aren't these cute?" he takes a second as he regains himself to look at whatever you're cooing over.

two silver keychains. both imprinted of with a weasel, molded of exact shapes to fit together like puzzle pieces when forced together. little stars and hearts surrounding the weasels in question. two silver matching keychains of weasels that seem to be in love, meant for couples.

"omi?" you say once again, awaiting a response from him. he's yet to respond, eyes slightly wide as he realizes he's found the issue. he takes a minute before he's asking you a question that he's been longing to be answered.

"y/n-san," he hesitantly calls out. you finally look at him, acknowledging the odd tone within his voice. you tilt your head at him, plump lips tilted upwards in a pout.

"y/n-sa-.. y/n.. what is love to you?"

your eyes widen at his unexpected question. you stammer and awkwardly giggle at his question, "w-what?" he's quick to remind you of his question, "what is love, to you."

you blink a few times before your eyes soften and you turn back to look at the matching keychains. "to me.. love is when you just.." you mumble. sakusa cranks his head at that, still quite confused at your answer.

you take his obvious confusion to elaborate further. "..w-well, love can be different for many people. for some, y'know, it could be love-at-first-sight, like they just make eye contact with someone and just fall in love with them.." you check to see if he's still confused and listening before you continue on.

"..then there's unrequited love, which is kinda one sided.. theres platonic love, y'know the love you give to your family. compassionate is when you not only feel love, but also sexual desire. there's obviously self-love. there's also love where it's obsessive, which is less about love and more about control-," mid-blabbering sakusa had interrupted you. "but what is love, to you."

ah. you finally took the keychains off their rack, holding the cold silver within your palms, smiling down at them warmly. "to me, love is when you just adore someone so much.. like you wanna be with them all the time, wanna talk to them all the time. you'll try your best for them, even if they try to push you away. you can't help but think of them constantly, you get reminded of them by the tiniest things ever.." you paused for a second, cheeks a twinge of red.

"some call that unconditional love. when you love them no matter what. 'n omi.. y'know.." you took a deep inhale, preparing to face him. "i really don't know, it's a little too early to say.. but.. i really like you.." you confessed, voice growing meek towards the end, finally shifting your whole body towards him.

only, he wasn't where he was standing a literal five minutes ago. no, you looked around the store, occasionally calling out his name, still holding the two matching keychains within your clenched, nervous hands.

he was gone.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

he was glad it was during winter break did he last see you. he wouldn't be able to face you if he had to see you so soon.

he couldn't sleep, it was now the day of new year's eve. he glanced up at the clock. 2:09AM

for the past week or so, he had you on mute, stomach dropping with guilt every time he saw the many unopened messages you sent him, the last one being sent earlier during the evening.

he brushed a hand through his distressed curls, hoping to alleviate his stress. komori and his teammates has also sent him messages as well, many of which along the lines of "hey, what happened? where did you go?" or even "where are you? y/l/n is all alone."

what made him even more stressed was when the very same teammate from saturday had texted sakusa asking for your number. sakusa didn't even respond to that dumb message.

sakusa sat up in his bed, giving up on sleeping. eventually, he'll have to face you, he can't hide from you forever. forehead crinkling at the obnoxious light of his phone, he pressed a hesitant think to your contact, heart regretting immediately when he saw your texts.

6:54PM omi where did u go?

7:00PM u okay? did u leave?

7:11PM i found komori and the others

7:15PM did i make you uncomfortable?

7:15PM im really sorry if i did

7:34PM ur teammate is offering to walk me home

7:36PM komori is walking me home too

7:36PM ur cousin is so nice! ur teammate is rllly funny too haha ヾ(^ ^ゞ

7:50PM just made it home

7:52PM kinda wouldve preferred if it was u who walked me home haha (≖͞_≖̥)

9:03PM goodnight kiyoomi ´･ᴗ･`

he couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows in distaste at the mention of his teammate, although slightly relieved at komori making so you wouldn't be alone with him. you texted him the day after a few more times after before you stopped texting all together.

the last text you sent this evening was you wishing sakusa a happy new year with a bunch of happy emojis. his felt swelled with what he now knows what he's been feeling these couple months of knowing you. the tender fondness he has for you has him chewing on his lip with anxiety.

before he could stop himself, his fingers began to tap against the screen.

2:20AM y/n let's talk.

with a regretful sigh, he lowered his elbow over his eyes in shame. he relaxed his body, heart steady. only, his heart once calm started to beat intensely once he saw the familiar light up of his phone.

2:22AM let's meet at the park for new years?

this is the longest fic ive ever written and it's only half of it i dont expect it to get a whole lot attention cuz its quite shit my phone is lagging as i write this im splitting it into two parts because my phone cant handle this PLEAE leave a like and repost 😭 prt 2.

[imageingrunge]

A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:

WHAT I LIKED:

The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor

The game is pretty, CC is nice

They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO

no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too

Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games

WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)

Voice Acting & Dialogue

It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap 

A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:

 Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)

Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button

The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:

Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"

Companions & Romance

the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)

The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”

I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care

I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.

For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry

jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)

to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle

I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3

Combat - as a spellblade mage*

combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.

At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.

Lore & Story building

At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??

The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all

“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”

A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy

However…theyre kinda right this time around....

It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)

Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.

There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"

Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare

A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/

Qunari Culture

So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2

What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:

Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick"  There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now

I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff

TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on

[laertesthelocalstranger]

"Well! This Is Just Like Old Times, Now, Isn't It?"

Laertes stands up off the worktable. It won't be. It will be different this time. He'll make it that way.

"Feeling nostalgic?" That's right, stay angry, stay on his guard. She's learned a lot from her brothers and father. The second they stop biting back, let their spark die, they lose.

"Not Really! This Is Far More Interesting! I Wish You'd Done This Before!" Nikola turns to a drawer, rummaging through the contents. She doesn't know exactly what she's going to do yet, but that's half the fun! An effect, is what she wants. Something new.

Laertes scoffs and desperately tries to ignore the way she feels something in her puncture at those words.

"Sorry for being bad entertainment." If he pumps his voice with enough sarcasm, it will sound like he doesn't mean it.

"That's Alright! You've More Than Made Up For It With This!" No, no, no, no, he doesn't want that godawful hope there- "How Did You Manage To Stay Out Of Our Reach? We Worked Very Hard To Find You, You Know!"

They pause at their pacing, like a nervous dog's movement before a storm. He's twenty six, around his brother's age. The age he'd been in the hospital with Marc. The age of someone bigger and less afraid than they are.

"I'm a magic quilt."

Nikola tilts her head. "I Think You Mean A Doll!"

Laertes feels the sudden and violent flash of a blank canvas through her head, before letting it pass on with the wind.

"No. I didn't."

She turns again to watch him, painted face alight with curiosity and confusion alike. When had it learned to stand its ground?

Instinctually, he sits back down on the table.

"You Really Have Changed Quite A Lot! I Didn't Know You Could Do That!"

"You didn't know a lot of things." Laertes spits out, unadulterated spite tempered only by a little sadness. She didn't know the dance, and she didn't know him. She'd never even wanted to, had she?

"Well, That Is Rather The Point!" Nikola giggles, which was never the point at all. "Where Did You Get That Skin, By The Way? It's Rather Nice Quality! I Guess You Did Pay Attention To Our Lesson! And Here I Thought You'd Hidden Yourself Away For It!"

He had hidden himself away, and this isn't real skin at all. But Laertes stands firmer ground in deflection and obfuscation, so he grins wide with a mouth full of teeth and old, wrathful desperation.

"Was That A Question, Nikola?"

Hmm. This trick is getting old. Is the room starting to smell like smoke?

She bridges the gap, cupping his cheek in a gentle plastic hand. "Nikola? Why, I Thought You Called Me Momma, Poppet!"

The effect is instantaneous. A wide-eyed twelve year old stares back at her, broken eyes an anguished tug-of-war.

Does she want it to call her that?

Laertes panics, trying to wrestle himself free. Nikola smiles wide at the odd affair. "Fascinating!" She pulls her hand back, and they slump, like she'd somehow taken all the energy out of them with that simple motion. At this rate, he isn't going to get out of here as himself.

As if she ever could have.

"Fuck you." He mumbles, one last defiant swing. "Touch me again, and I'll- I'll bite."

Nikola pokes a broken eye, nearly cutting herself on it. Huh. She'll need to find more durable buttons than these last ones.

"Ah-Ah-Ah! I Could Just Get Your 'Friend' Back Here, Couldn't I? Ooh! Or One Of Those People Convinced You're Their Brother! Very Clever Act, By The Way! You're Smarter Than I Gave You Credit for! Now, I like Jack, So Not Him! But He Had An Older Brother Too! Jude, Right? I'll Just Bring Him In Here! Wouldn't That Be Lovely?"

Fuck. That can't happen to him. It can't. Not like Ellery. They- They wouldn't be able to-

"Cat Got Your Tongue? Shame! And Here I Thought I Would Be The One To Cut It Off, Ha Ha!" She finally finds the tools she wants. His eyes lock on them and don't let go.

There's no point talking to her. S h e p r o b a b l y w o u l d n ' t l i k e t h a t , a n y w a y .

No. She would. And they won't give her the satisfaction.

Nikola frowns after a moment. Well, that's not so interesting. But this steely resolve is still more than the hollowness she's seen so much of. It makes her want to find out what will happen if she takes the step and starts cutting.

She takes her position, seam ripper held delicately as a flower and precisely as a scalpel. Laertes stares back silently, the both of them focused so intently on what comes next.

Time to see what it takes for this one to break.

[switch]

look i'm definitely one of the people who's been saying that new TNT has been missing the forest for the trees with feeling the need to fuck with pre-existing old pet art before selling it when people very much just want the exact old pet art they remember, speaking as a mouthless shoyru enjoyer here who's mad they probably fucked that up forever, but the new halloween art is a big step up.

like this is just actually really good art and makes me feel significantly less skeptical about their recent "we hired more artists, we swear" statement. specific ones like the nimmo, xweetok, and maybe grarrl i really could actually see existing pre-conversion if they had gotten unique poses originally. the cybunny's cape only being visible on one side isn't ideal but is otherwise fine, and the ixi is unfortunately a little blobbish looking and probably needed another pass to get a better shape/silhouette, but it’s decently cute and i'm fully in favor of them addressing the "literally every ixi except like four or five of them are miserably ugly because those are the only ones that didn't follow their extremely unfortunate base model" problem. everything else is fantastic, i think.

except the aisha! again! they literally just cannot stop fucking up the aisha. they love fucking up the aisha. fucking up the aisha is new TNT's favorite hobby in the world. seriously, what is the fucking deal, aisha is one of their main mascot pets and they're the pet with the most devotedly insane fanbase by far. who is this for?! this is not for aisha diehards! are they capable of producing one singular good looking aisha?! blobbish, the miserable dinosaur tail is here again, directionless pose, not smiling for some reason, and why is the mouth open again, what is this art even trying to convey with this pose and expression? all the other new halloween art is conveying plenty of readable personality with its poses and expressions! the proportions are severely wrong regardless of if they were referencing the pre or post conversion art, the legs are too big, the antennae ears should get thicker at the top instead of being that bad looking twig thickness the whole way through, the ears are pointing the wrong way, why is that one ear snapped at such an awkward angle, bad silhouette, neck too short, head way too wide, eyes too big.... the literal singular only good thing they did here was toning down the eye masks to look more like the old art.

look, seriously, i genuinely think that the aisha and the shoyru being their primary mascots right now is subjecting them to way more specific and strict art directions than any of the other pets which is why they keep getting fucked up the worst by far. i think this is just what they want the aisha to look like now. something something marketing, branding consistency, something.

anyway, it's been noted that these are branded as "spooky hallowen [pet]" and not "nostalgic halloween [pet]," so there's speculation they may best-of-both-worlds the 'use old art no matter what even if it's stock and hideous' VS 'make new retro-looking art in unique poses' problem. the idea sounds nice on paper, but they've already gone, what, six waves mixing the two? would they only start doing it with future lines, meaning already released pets are permanently fucked either way? or are they gonna go back and retroactively add back in untouched art and change the designation on altered art? also, just the sheer amount of shit they'd be selling in the style department would be getting kind of ridiculous at that point. do we really want both 'mouthless blue shoyru' and 'blue shoyru b/w mouth' diluting the gacha odds even worse? man, i don't know.

[8-rae-rae-8]

(Saw you had a sore stomach 😔 wanted to do a angst w/ comfort thing for you to make it better -Feral anon )

Regressed Ghost getting a sore tummy and being so small; he’s unable to do anything but cry. He feels so miserable and just wants to the icky pain to go away.

Thing is, Price is on a mission with Gaz. Soap is fully capable of taking care of Simon but he wears his heart on his sleeve and tends to get flustered. Seeing Simon so hurt and worked up breaks his heart and when his darling boy is worked up, he does as well.

He’s sitting in the rec room couch, a fussy and sobbing Simon in his lap as he tries to help his baby boy calm down. Himself on the verge of tears

“I know M'eudail (darling/dear) shh it’s okay, c’mon, c’mon…please baby, you’ll make yourself sick..”

He just gets another harsh sob in return

“B-Bubba!”

Soap feels tears stinging his eyes, he feels so helpless to help his baby. He doesn’t realise footsteps coming from behind the couch until there’s a hand in his Mohawk. He jolts and turns around and sees a sleepy Roach behind him.

Shit he forgot Roach got back from a night mission. He’s about to try sputter out an apology but Roach just shakes his head and gives Johnny a comforting squeeze on the neck.

“It’s okay, John. Just take a deep breath…in and out..”

Soap nods, taking a few shaky breaths. Staring up at Roach and following his exaggerated, slow breathing. They do this for a minute as Soap no longer feels as flustered but still distressed as Simon cries on. Roach uses a thumb to gently stroke Soap’s neck.

“You’re doing great, Simon’s always just been extra fussy when he’s unwell.” Roach explains in a raspy voice, soap can hear a hint of nostalgic fondness.

“I’ll share a trick I learnt; lay him down on the couch.”

Soap complies, much to Simon’s despair. He cries louder and soap is about to pick up again when Roach stops him with the next set of instructions;

“Now, lift up his hoodie and rub his tummy…it needs to be on his skin.”

Soap raises a brow at Roach but the shadow nods his head in a ‘go on’ motion. Soap hesitates but carefully lifts up the hoodie that Simon was wearing, exposing the scarred tummy underneath. He very delicately begins to rub the little’s tummy in an up and down motion.

“Slow and gentle circles, John. That’s it.”

Soap does as instructed and not even a minute later, Simon’s sobs are reduced to cries..as they go on, it eventually is reduced to hiccups…and then soft coos and happy kicks.

Soap is bewildered. Roach just shakes his head, a stern look at Simon

“I bet big you overworked yourself at the gym, again, huh?” Roach playfully scolds, leaning down to scrub the little’s flushed, tear stained cheeks. “We’ll have to have Baba have a chat with big you about that…you know you get tummy cramps when you overwork yourself.”

Soap blinks and goes “ohhh…” Ghost had been going to the gym more than usual prior to this. “I had no idea..” soap starts as he continues to rub circles into the baby’s tummy, guilt eating at him.

“Don’t feel bad. He would’ve hidden it…he used to pull that crap with me as well.” He assures Soap, carefully stroking his Mohawk before turning back to Ghost “You just love being sneaky, huh little lamb?” earning another coo and happy kick from the baby.

Both of them laugh a little at that, Unlike his bigger counterpart, Baby Simon can’t lie or hide anything.

WAS SO SO TEMPTED TO KEEP THIS IN MY INBOX SO I COULD KEEP REREADING IT.

He needs his lil tummy rubbed!!! It helps!!!

The poor baby, the poor soap 😭 I love how Roach steps in to help even though he's sleepy!!!

I'm eating them, anon, eating them right up /pos /aff

[yippee-boi09]

Quirky Quinn

“Thank you so much, missy. I'm so glad you took up the offer…” Mrs. Baker says through the phone that she was their neighbor across the street, and Quinn needed a job for the week.

“No pr-problem, ma'am… annnny time…” Quinn says dejectedly

“...just ma-make sure the payment c-can come through after you come back, I apologize if I thound demanding in any way, it's just-”

“Oh no, it's fine, deary! I know how tough it is in your situation and I promise I'll pay you a very hefty sum!” Mrs. Baker interrupts, true to her words as usual. After further conversation and scheduling, Quinn hung up only for their younger brother, Johnathan, to run into the room with some scrabble on a word search that Quinn printed for him while they were on a phone call.

“Sissy! Sissy! Look! I did the word search!” He chirped excitedly while proudly holding up the scribbled word search, no actual word searching having been actually done. “Wow bubba… that's really great! You found all the words…” Quinn says with a tired tone, like some exhausted parent would to a kid after a long day of work. Only for an angry 13 year old named Sarah to come down with half finished half assed emo makeup, “Can you guys quiet down? You're ruining my brooding time… I swear I'm gonna kill you all one day…” the angsty teen says with malice and agitation, not wanting ever to admit that she was a little adored by the fact that her siblings were having such a wholesome moment.

“But sissa… why? We you're family!” Johnathan pleaded with puppy eyes so that Sarah couldn't muster up anymore empty death threats and walked out while scoffing to hide her hesitation. “Don't worry, bubba, she’s just… 13… you know how they get…” Quinn says while putting their hand on his shoulder “Well… I promise to always love you no matter what! Even when I'm 13!” Johnathan says with a big smile on his face before he hugs Quinn tightly. They pat his back affectionately.

“Hehe, sure bu-bubba… hey how a-about we go-go get some dinner? Mac n cheese sounds good t-to you? Maybe some tater tots to go w-with such a fine cuisine?” Quinn asks tiredly with a hint of playfulness to try and keep the mood light for the little boy. “Mac n cheese n tater tots!? YEAH! I'D LOVE THAT SISSY!” Johnathan cheers, throwing his arms in the air as Quinn ruffles his hair affectionately before Johnathan runs off to the living room to wait for dinner. Quinn walks upstairs and knocks on Sarah's door, “Go away” is the first response before they can even speak. “Hey, S-Sarah… I'm go-gonna make thome dinner… Do you want anyth’ng…? I could heat you up some hot dogs in a dog with ketchup…” Quinn offers, a nostalgic and warm tone in her voice as she refers to the Hot Dog Slic'r Sarah used to looove eating out of as a kid.

“What? No! That's too stupid for me. Go away!” Sarah repeats her teen phase phrase once more through the door.

“Okay… just let me know if you wanna let me in…” Quinn says the last part quietly enough for Sarah not to hear before walking downstairs to prepare dinner for Johnathan… not before they catch a glimpse of what he's playing on the Xbox, of course. “Hey bu-bubba, turn that off…” They say, taking the controller and exiting out of the game, causing the young boy to protest. “HEY!! Daddy gave me that game…” Johnathan protested as Quinn took the game out of the disc tray to see he was playing Fallout… God damnit… Quinn's gonna need to talk to Dad later tonight.

“Thorry bubba, but this game isn't a very good g-game…” “Is it a naughty game like the Auto Theft game?” Johnathan questioned innocently, referring to the time Dad gave him a copy of GTA… he got an earful that day… “Yes, Bubba, it's a naughty game… it’th only for the adults.” Quinn says tiredly. It's obvious that they're pissed with the game selection that was given this time.

It was common for this cycle to happen, where Johnathan begins asking for attention from Dad, Dad get’s aggravated and hands him a random game or thing so he can leave. At first it started out with a doll that to this day, Johnathan still keeps and snuggles with, and now it’s stuff like Fallout and GTA and even fucking Borderlands… okay maybe Borderlands isn’t exactly bad but it’s not meant for toddlers. “Look, I'll geeet you a n-new game thometime thoon, okay? I promise it'll be-be a good game…”

“You say that every time, sissy… when am I gonna get the new Sonic game?” Johnathan peeped with a pouty lip and big eyes, melting Quinn's heart internally and making them feel a little bad for not getting enough money to do so because of college. “I-I know bubba, a-and I'm so-sorry… I-I promithe I'll get you the m-m-money… in the meantime… wanna make me a drawing?” Quinn offers, brightening the little boy's face very quickly. “Do I!? HECK YEAH!” He shouted as he got up and pulled out the art box and got right to work immediately. Leaving Quinn to go cook dinner peacefully without the worry of their little brother being exposed to virtual strip clubs, which boosted the flavor of dinner! The tater tots had Johnny seasoning with ketchup on the side, and the Mac n cheese had hotdogs in them. How elegant!

“Bubba! Dinner!” They called out to the living room, setting the dinner table for him as he ran in. “Woah, bubba, thlow down… wh-what’s got you excited?” Quinn asks, holding an excited and energetic Johnathan by the shoulders. “Look! Sissy! I made you a drawing! Do you like it?” He asks, holding up a cute drawing of the three together, Sarah wearing her emo clothes and a >:( face, Johnathan smiling widely with a big :D, Quinn has a soft smile and drawn bags under their eyes and their father lies in the far right without a face… “He-Hey bubba, why doethnnn’t Daddy h-have a fathe?” Quinn asks, a little concerned. “Because we don't see Daddy often, so I couldn't give him a face…” the little boy says with a sad look on his face. “Aww, bubba, don't worry…wh-why don't you go eat your dinner, and I-I'll tuck you into b-bed and read y-you a bedtime story…” Quinn says, folding the picture and tucking it into their pocket as Johnathan sits at the table and eats dinner happily.

Quinn is sitting in the kitchen… alone… they've tucked Johnathan into bed, and Sarah's already asleep, so now Quinn waits to… discuss matters with Dad. “Being alone is weird…” Quinn thought to themself silently, a pit in their stomach from the silence, and they drank their monster.

Not from the monster or the lack of food… but from… another feeling… a sense of power? Maybe. A time to think? No. The time for their mind to run with… thoughts? Yes. Absolutely. Their mind was running with questions… “Why are we here” “Why do we still care?” “What are you gonna do after you graduate?” “What purpose will you have after this?”

These thoughts buzzed through their mind, setting down their energy drink. They sit by the sink, arms spread and sitting by the side edges of the sink while staring out the window and out into the forest… their heart pounding but deathly still at the same time and a shaky, dizzy feeling taking over… the thoughts buzz louder. “Why won't he talk to you” “Why does he ignore you?” “How come he started ignoring you after it happened?” Quinn holds up a knife from the knife stand near the sink, looking into the reflection “What are you going to do about ⍓⌾⍓?” Their thoughts are cut off by the front door opening and closing, the shuffling of keys and a groan… Dad’s home… Quinn takes a deep breath, puts the knife away, takes a swig of their Monster and walks into the living room.

“Oh… hello Quinn…” Dad says, a little surprised but too tired to express it more than a slight eyelid lift.

“Hey Dad…” Quinn says awkwardly. Talking to Dad is like meeting with an office job boss because you need a raise. “Whatcha need, kiddo? You usually don't stay up this late…” he points out, breaking Quinn out of their racing thoughts. “Oh. Ahem… D-Dad… Di-Did you give Johnathan a-a-a copy of F-Fallout?” They question his choice of entertainment for the young boy. “Oh? Is that what I gave him? How was it? Did he have fun?” he pulls out of his lips like it were another breath of air, using the same excuse to avoid the issue at hand. “D-Dad…” Quinn takes a step closer to where Dad is sitting. “...Johnathan is 6 yearth old… 6 ye-yearth old. You gave hi-him a g-g-game about nuclear war!” Quinn had heard of Fallout and how good the game is, but they never bothered to do more research after hearing all the dark humor from it… it always bothered Quinn, laughing at a joke about death…

“Yeah…? And…?” Dad questions, breaking Quinn from thought once more before they speak up. “6 y-y-year olds aren't thuppothed t-to be playing ga-games about nuclear war… and that o-other time you g-gave him GTA-” “DON’T… get me started… I know GTA was the limit but don't use it as some iron fist over what I give to Jimmy…” Dad yells before stopping himself and lowering his tone. “It'th… Johnathan…” Quinn corrects him. This had been going on for a while now.

“Johnathan… right… sorry…”

“Don't apologize. I know you work hard to put food on the table but I'm the one preparing it… I put en-enough time in taking c-c-care of the two and I'd really prefer iiiiit if you didn't give him games m-meant for adult-th… or ignore him… then you wo-wo-wouldn't “accidentally” give him inappropriate games.” They explain intently, trying to explain why it's improper and a little aggravating to have to watch over the kid's shoulder every two seconds out of fear that he'll end up seeing porn or something.

“Okay. Fine… I won't give him any more inappropriate games… Plus, I have plans next Wednesday… go- “Get you a beer? Already on it…” Quinn says before he can finish, grabbing him a beer and cracking it open for it, knowing that when he wants a beer, he has plans… usually the good kind… it's a good sign!

“We have a dinner party planned for next Wednesday, I want smoked salmon, mashed potatoes, and boiled carrots…” He explains after taking a swig of the beer. “Sweet, next Wednesday… any thpecific occasion? Is anyone coming over?” Quinn asks while writing down the plans on the fridge, Dad takes another swig of beer before answering.

“҉A҉҉n҉҉d҉҉r҉҉e҉҉a҉ will be coming over…” The name froze Quinn in place as their blood ran cold at the name.

“...what… did… you say…?” Quinn forced out with a voice shaking from rage and fear. “...҉A҉҉n҉҉d҉҉r҉҉e҉҉a҉… Y'know… your-”

“I know who she is… why are you bringing her here?” They asked with malice in their tone, it’s increasingly obvious that Quinn is infuriated with Dad now… “Well… there’s some business and I thought, maybe it’s be nice to talk to her after she-”

“I KNOW WHAT SHE FUCKING DID! That’s why I don’t want her coming near Johnathan or Sarah. I don't care if it's business or family reasons, I don't want her in our fucking house or even knowing where we live.” They explain with a hint of anger but concern in their voice, trying desperately for this to be canceled.

“Look, kiddo, I know it's a lot to take in, but I think it might be healthy! Plus this business opportunity means I might be able to spend more time with the kids!” He groans out, the last part bringing surprise and a hint of… hope? In Quinn’s eyes. This meant they could finally focus on life… they could… live a better life… but in return… it would mean having to deal with ⍓⌾⍓… and… having to talk to her after so long… “....Fine. Next Wednesday, dinner party, smoked salmon, mashed potatoes, and boiled carrots. Don't expect me to be kind to her…” Quinn repeats the plans before walking upstairs angrily, going to bed and staring at the ceiling.

Why the fuck must he behave like this? He’s such a stuck up asshole… always thinking about himself… but this wasn't just for him… this was for them… this was for Johnathan and Sarah and them… maybe… this… won't be so bad…

Quinn always has dreams of memories… nothing changes… no fictional situations… they dream of memories…

“Happy birthday toooo youuuuuuuu~!” The party cheers to Sarah, who blows out her candles and is greeted with applause and smiles from her friends and two family members. Sarah is digging into her precious, sugar pumped cake while Quinn makes sure to wipe off the mess of the toddler Johnathan's face.

“Hey Quinn… when will Dad show up?” Sarah suddenly questions, realizing he hasn't come like be promised. “H-He'll be here soon, thweetie…”

“Huc-huc-huc-He'll be heyear Thoon Thweetie!” One of the kids walks up, mocking Quinn's stutter and lysp.

“Hey, I swear he's gonna come! You'll meet my dad, my sister and I will prove you wrong!” Sarah exclaimed, pointing at the three kids with a pouty lip, staring daggers at the leader of the group, Roy.

“Yeah? And what if he doesn't? Hmm? What happens then?” Roy points out, before there's a knock at the door.

“See? I told you! Dad's here!” Sarah shouts to the party as she bolts to the door, expecting her father to be at the front door with a party hat and gift like some cliche you'd see in a drama. When she opens the door, she only sees the mailman, who hands her a post card from the town a few hours away from here, signed her dad's name… it was just some cheap card for her, not even a $20 bill was attached to it!

“Aww, did Daddy not show up? What is that? He didn't even write to you? Just a signature? So lame!” Roy grabs the post card and dangles it in front of her face while teasing her. The other party members join and begin poking fun at her.

“So lame! I have my Mom and Dad come to my parties!”

“That's so pathetic! He didn't even address it to you! It just says something about safe travels! So stupid!”

“No wonder why her Dad didn't show up! I wouldn't have shown up to her birthday party either if I knew she was such a crybaby!”

The last statement sent Sarah running upstairs, sobbing as she shut her door.

“Everyone but Roy is now required to leave, I need to have a chat with him, and the party is over, and none of you are ever coming back.” Quinn stated, forcing everyone out the door except Roy.

“Is… something the matter, miss?” Roy trembled out of his nervous mouth, the same mouth that spoke words harsh enough to ruin Sarah's special day, and words harsh enough to make Quinn quiver with rage.

“You have… no-no idea. No idea how long it took for Tharah to p-p-plan this out, how hard it’th been having to re-reassure her that Dad would show only to be met with this thing!” Quinn snatched the post card from Roy's hands, holding it up to his face as they cracked their joints.

“I-It was just a joke, miss! It was harmless I swear-”

“HARMLESS!? WH-WHAT ABOUT MA-MA-MAKING FUN OF SARAH ON HER BIRTHDAY B-BECAUTHE HER FATHER DI-DIDN’T SHOW UP ITH ‘H-HARMLETH’ TO YOU!?” they snapped back, interrupting Roy and shoving him back a little.

“I want you to know…” They leaned down to Roy’s level, their arms dangling as they gave Roy a blank, cold, and life threatening stare, “...I want you… to know… to never… EVER… go near Sarah… again… or nobody will ever find you again.”

Quinn opened the door and threw him out as Roy scrambled away before they shut the door.

“yawn… what time is it…?” Quinn yawned out, waking up while getting up from bed, checking the time. “Oh shit we’re gonna be late!” They quickly got up and threw on their vintage 1990's Korn tour shirt from their album, “Follow the leader”, a gray, hoodless coat they always wore with this weird smiley face on it and some baggy cargo pants. They got everyone up and prepared them all for school.

“I'll be fine… Leave me alone, mom.” Sarah mocked Quinn for double checking everything, before they send her and Johnathan to their bus and Quinn quickly runs to their car, fumbling with their keys.

Quinn was able to arrive on campus, on time. Thank god… they managed to make it to their lecture before it began, pulling out their notebook and pen, sitting next to their friend, Rae.

“...took you long enough…” He mumbled, pulling out his snack bag and holding out a baggy of some warm bacon, Quinn took it and devoured it in the blink of an eye.

“Yeah? T-T-Try packing up for school for an angsty teen thithter who ha-hates you and a younger b-b-baby brother who loves you to death and balance th-that with taking care of yourthelf…” Quinn snapped back playfully at him, causing Rae to smirk.

“Typical Quinn… your Dad really needs to get his shit together, hell, convince him to hire a nanny or something…” He suggested, causing Quinn to sigh.

“I told you already, we can't afford it, I-I-I don't wanna leave my thiblings alone with thomeone I barely kn-kn-know, and I want Johnathan and Sarah t-to be able to be around their dad… mainly me… mo-more often.” Quinn grumbled out, they had discussed this with him on numerous occasions and the suggestion was a bit old at this point.

“Dude, if you ever need a break, just hit me up, I'm always down to help you out. You deserve a break every now and again, you stress yourself out over literally everything. College, jobs, family, hell I can barely balance two of those and I still manage to take care of myself…” Rae lists off all of Quinn's responsibilities, a smirk ever so present on his face as he pulls put a family sized bag of chips and eats them.

“...I swear you're gonna put yourself in a coma one of these days…” Quinn sighed, half joking and half aggravated… before they remember something. “Hey I ha-have a d-d-dinner party ne-next Wednthday, you're not invited-”

“Damn…” Rae chuckled, interrupting Quinn and making them giggle a little before continuing

“As I w-wath thaying… I-I have to ho-ho-housit for Mrs. Baker for a f-few days… A-And I was wondering… if y-you could ba-babysit Sarah and Johnathan fo-for tho’the few dayth…?” Quinn asked of Rae politely, this had been the first time in a while that they asked Rae of anything, which made him ecstatic!

“Of course! Anything for you man, you deserve it!” Rae exclaimed quietly, patting them on the back before their teacher walked in, beginning the lecture.

It was time for sculpting, or creative time as their teacher liked to call it… Quinn had been working on a mask, the glue and water drenched paper clinging to the frail wire base with ease. Wasn't the first mask they made and surely won't be the last, lost in memory as they worked peacefully… this was supposed to be their peaceful class. The others were so full of noise it would give them a headache.

But of course, it couldn't have been, the peace interrupted by a unfamiliar voice. Now in front of Quinn was a damn dork, a smug grin on his face, as if he's found an easy target. “What are you l-looking at-t-t?” Quinn hissed, not wanting to have been bothered.

The boy grinned more, gods, could he have been any more stupid? “an idiot with a Thpeethimbediment” he mocked out, a snicker echoing behind his voice.

“Yeah? A-And wh-who would that be…?” Quinn questioned cluelessly, they'd never been able to deal with bullying aside from defending others and Quinn already struggled with taking care of themselves enough.

“You, idiot.” He retorted, but honestly it was pathetically whimpered out. His posture tensing in a defensive way.

“W-What? I-I might h-have a speech i-i-im-impediment but I-I'm no an idiot…” Quinn whispered, feeling self conscious and unintentionally boosting the dick in front of them's ego.

The random boy now supported himself like a cartoonist superhero, his smug smile returning to his face at the “win”.

Quinn goes back to working on their mask, unsure of how to handle this situation, references to heavy metal makeup pulled up on their stood up phone.

The boy looked a bit dejected now by how swiftly he was dismissed and attempted to recover but soon poked the wet mask right under the modeled lips. Purposefully making a semi-permanent mark now just for attention.

“Wha- Hey!! What was that for? You f-fucked up my m-mathk!” Quinn snapped at him, an agitated look on their face that just made the douchbag's day.

He let out a small laugh, “do what? I didn't do anything.”

“B-But… I just watched you! Y-Y-You jutht poked m-my mask!” Quinn countered, confused by the bully's behavior and tone. Thankfully, the teacher noticed after the shout, swiftly ushering the unknown boy out of the class and telling him to go back to his firmly.

“I’m so sorry about that, Quinn. If you want, you can have a restart and some extra time to finish your project since he vandalized it…” the teacher apologized, offering a free restart and extra time to complete the mask.

“Yes pleathe thir… I would ab-absolutely appreciate th-that.” Quinn accepted with a warm smile, still put off by the experience… even though it was minor… it reminded Quinn of something that they didn’t want to think of at all…

Quinn drives home, they’ll have time to finish the mask on Monday, it’s a holiday this Friday and they have babysitting duty on Saturday and Sunday… Monday and Tuesday will be the extra days to finish it. Quinn arrives at the elementary school, picking Johnathan up since Sarah’s school runs longer than both theirs and his.

“How was your day, bubba?” Quinn smiled at him through the rearview mirror as he got in the backseat, bouncy and bubbly as ever.

“Sissy! Sissy! I got an A on my math assignment!” He exclaimed with excitement and joy in his big bright eyes, handing them a math assignment. “Wow bubba, that’s great! Guess where th-this is going?” Quinn questioned teasingly, them and him knowing exactly where it’s going. “THE FRIDGE!” Johathan threw his arms up with a wide grin, giggling and clapping his hands.

Ringalingaling! Ringalingaling!

“Oh- Sorry bubba, one sec, it’s thitha’s school…” Quinn picked up the phone, Johnathan watched as their slight smile went from a reminder of the joy of today to a worrying frown. His little brother instincts kicked in and he questioned profusely as they hung up and began driving.

“Sissy? What’s wrong? Why are you sad?” Johnathan tilted his head, his smile now gone and replaced with concern and curiosity.

“It’s Sarah… s-sheeeee’s in t-trouble…”

They sat down in the principal’s office, next to Sarah, and don’t worry, Quinn left Johnathan in the car with water, snacks, air conditioning, a few fidget toys and their favorite music playing.

“Miss Devore, it has been brought to my attention that your sibling, Sarah Devore, has been causing a ruckus on school grounds.” The principal spoke firmly and mannered, staring daggers at Sarah while Quinn sat there confused, looking back down at Sarah before looking back at the principal.

“Wh-Whaddya mean? H-How i-i-is she cauthing a r-ruckuth?” Quinn asked with concern in her eyes, Sarah had her arms crossed, looking away and not making eye contact with either of them.

“...Today… she got into a very nasty fight… Two kids ended up in the ER and one kid managed to only get a broken wrist and nose.” The principal said calmly, almost with a smirk on her face as if she enjoyed putting down Sarah and giving her the light of the villain.

“S-Sarah? Wh-”

“THEY STARTED IT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!” Sarah snapped, sitting up and pointing at the principal. “And? You didn't speak up to anyone about it, I assume…?” The principal accuses oder Sarah, her smirk a little more apparent now as Sarah fumes.

“Woah woah! C-Calm down! Thettle down…” Quinn tried to defuse the tension between Sarah and the principal. “Sarah… I understand that y-you might have been acting i-i-in self defense but that's n-no excuse for what you did!” Quinn tells off Sarah, causing the principle to make a smug remark. “That’s right Sarah… what you did was baaaad… tsk tsk tsk… you-”

“I underthtand that Sarah m-messed up but p-p-putting her down is NOT the way to go about things… m-maybe it’s your fault that s-she doesn’t feel safe enough to o-open up to you!” Quinn accuses, Sarah silently and unoticably celebrates her small victory while the principal’s demeanor falters.

“H-How dare you? Do you even know how hard I work on this school? Whipping these hellions into shape everyday…” The principal goes off, agitation apparent in her voice as she speaks.

“I’m not s-sure if I should take the whipping part theriouthly or not but you don’t seem t-to understand… Sarah doesn’t fight or break people’s boned un-unless she- she was either in imminent danger, or s-she reaches her GOD DAMN limit!” They slam their hand on the principal’s desk, almost as if they were slamming facts onto that same desk for the bitch in front of them to see and acknowledge.

“It'th YOUR fault for n-not creating a t-thafe environment for your students… And clearly Sarah didn’t feel safe e-enough twitch to talk to you about i-it!” Quinn shouted while pointing at the principal, looking down at their nameplate, “Karen Shnider” was plastered in bold, gold letters. God damnit, even her name is assholey…

“M-Miss Devore, please calm down-” The principal was cut off once more. “I don't wa-wanna hear it! The m-mere fact that y-you'd punish Sarah f-for something a-as basic as self defense, then do not speak to me “calming down” because I will now gladly take Sarah o-out of school e-early for the day now, thank y-you very much!” Quinn proclaimed, quickly filling out the forms and pulling Sarah out of the school by the wrist two hours early. They quickly load up in the car, Sarah is met in the backseat with a cheese dust covered Johnathan.

“Hi sissa!” He smiles at her, she slumps against the window while Quinn drives the two home.

They unload from the car, Quinn sets up SpongeBob on the TV, and sets down Minecraft by the Xbox in case Johnathan wants to do something else while Quinn and Sarah talk, he knew how to change discs and he loved Minecraft.

“...So you gonna do the “YoU'rE nOt AlOnE” talk or the “YoU aLwAyS hAvE mE tO tAlK tO” talk already?” Sarah asks, obviously bored and aggravated at the idea of having to talk to Quinn seriously.

“...No.” Quinn states bluntly, worry and concern quivering through their voice as they hold back tears. “The talk we're going to have is “you tell me what's going on” so I can understand what I need to do better…”

“...what?” Sarah was a little stunned, her soft side showing slightly through her expression as she relaxes her muscles, uncrossing her arms while standing straight.

“You heard me…” Quinn looked up, their face red from holding back worried sobs “...T-Tell me what's been go-going on. You've shut me out for a year and a h-half, and YOU D-DON'T EVER-EVEN TRY to talk to me anymore… I thought that… ma-maybe you were j-just growing away f-f-from me… that… you just w-wanted some space… but… in t-that I-I never knew what could've g-gotten you in s-such trouble… tell me…” they cry out, putting their hands on Sarah's shoulders and looking her in the eye. All while Sarah darts her eyes away repeatedly.

“...” Sarah stays silent before finally responding. “...They… They've been bullying me for a long time… I kept on getting back at them… the one kid… Roy… he… he was insecure… and… I was strong… so… I started bullying him…”

Sarah managed to choke out, holding back tears and sobs, wanting to just break down in Quinn's arms but too scared to do so. Quinn squeezed their fists until their knuckles were white. Quinn was angry, but they didn't know who.

“Look… I-I'm not mad at you… but… thinthe you got a FULL W-WEEK supension, you're g-grounded for the week, no outings, you're doing chores, AND no TV or devices U-UNTIL I thay otherwithe… d-do you understand?” Quinn stated firmly, getting a grumpy nod from the teenager in front of them before they walked downstairs and found Johnathan innocently building a house on Minecraft.

“Sissy! Look! I builded a house!” Johnathan exclaims while pointing to the screen, showing a quaint, little house.

“Aww… that's so ssssweet!” Quinn says, before a few villagers walk into it, causing Johnathan to pout at the sight

“No!! Bad villagers!” Johnathan shouts as he activates creative mode and lights the village on fire, causing Quinn to shut off the game.

“J-Johnathan… I-I think that'th enough video games for t-the day…” Quinn says, pulling out the toy box and finding a coloring book for Johnathan and some crayons. They walk off to prepare dinner, something a little more clean cut… “Hey Sarah, come downstairs to watch Johnathan while I make din-dinner!” They call down Sarah, for a moment there's no response but as if she suddenly remembered she was grounded she came downstairs and sat down in the living room couch, watching Johnathan begrudgingly.

Quinn couldn't stop thinking about the fire in Minecraft… it gave them… a strange feeling… maybe it was just the anxiety of Johnathan feeling a little inspired to do something irrational because if his video games. They'll limit his play time a little more now. But even still the idea of flames dancing up and down, side to side, was just… so…

“Hey sissy! Look!” Jonathan called over, breaking Quinn out of thought and causing them to run over, they thought that Sarah would either be neglecting her current duty or causing trouble. But instead they came across a very pleasant surprise…

Johnathan was sitting behind Sarah on the couch while she sat on the floor in front of him. Her hair was all braided up with bows and hair ties, almost comically bad and silly, sticking in every which way. “Sissa has pretty hair now!” Johnathan proclaimed, throwing his arms in the air with an expression of victory on his face while Sarah grumbled and pouted in protest.

“Aww, you t-two look tho thweet! Come here, I j-just made dinner for t-the two of y-y-you…” Quinn motioned for the two to follow them to the dining room, they both got up, and you can guess which one was jumping and chanting “Food! Food!” and which one was begrudgingly getting up and following with a pissed expression the way there.

Dinner had passed and it was about 8:55 PM, Quinn was out by the backyard, taking long drags of their cigarette. It was rare that they were able to smoke but when they did it was peaceful for them… usually… now instead it's filled with the soft, stomach emptying dread from being alone and a bored, sorta hopelessness feeling that coursed through their mind and soul. They looked into the forest that they used to play in when they were little. They felt as if they had some sort of missing memory… but they couldn't exactly price together this weird, missing feeling… they decided to stand closer to the forest, leaning against their fence while staring into the dark, moonlit forest… taking another drag and puffing smoke into the air, Quinn thought to themself, what was missing? God I just wanna know what was missing?

Their thoughts are interrupted by loud barking… the neighbor’s dog was being a shithead again. “Shoo! Go! Bad dog!” Quinn said loudly, hoping the damn neighbors weren't too stoned out of their mind to come and get their loud ass dog

They kept on shooing and waving off the dog, but to no avail… hell the neighbors didn't even come out to deal with it… damnit… they really are stoned out of their minds…

Quinn tried to go back to focusing on the woods, letting out another puff of smoke which only caused the damn pomeranian to bark even louder. Each little “Ark!” Louder and more ear piercing than the last…

Quinn finally snaps and kicks the dog, sending it flying across the yard, it whimpered and limped back in it's home while wincing. Quinn felt immense joy at the sight and sound but quickly ran inside, putting out their cigarette butt and running straight to bed…

“What the hell was that? Why did I…?” Quinn questions themself for a moment, exhaustion creeping up on them before they could finish their thought. Drifting into a deep slumber only half covered by their bedsheets.

It wasn't uncommon for Quinn to also NOT have any dreams… maybe faint shapes or sounds… it was practically normal for them to dream of little to nothing at all.

A tall, man. Not too tall… about 6 feet in height… with a grotesque smile permanently on his face… a faint childhood delusion for Quinn… the missing in the forest… “Quinn…” a raspy voice calls from the man, Quinn approaches and notices how burnt he looks, and his lack of eyelids… as he kneels down, they notice that he's holding his hand out, before he can speak again, Quinn is woken up by the sun peering through the window.

They sit Sarah and Johnathan down on the couch, it's Friday, holiday off for school and some jobs… and Quinn was gonna be housesitting for Mrs. Baker for the next few days, staying Friday and Saturday and coming back Saturday evening…

“Alright… Thara… Johnathan… I'm gonna be g-gone for the n-next few days, housesitting for Mrs. Baker. Now, someone I trust very much is going to be watching you…” Quinn explains to the two, causing Sarah to be a little offended…

“Wha- hey! Why can't I just be alone and watch Johnathan for you while you do your stupid job!? I'm 13! Hello??” Sarah demands, Quinn chuckles at her determination and aggravation.

“Because y-you can't twitch even make Mac n cheese without b-b-burning it…” Quinn retorted playfully, causing Sarah to stutter before she slumped back.

Knock knockity knock!

“Ah… that should be him!” Quinn walks over to the door and welcomes Rae inside, bringing him to the living room and introducing him to Johnathan and Sarah

“Everyone, this is R-Rae! Rae, that's Johnathan, and that'ssss Sarah…” Quinn introduces Rae, who's wearing his Invader Zim Gir jacket and holding a bag of things

“Huh… Johnathan and Sarah…” He says, pointing at the two and naming them incorrectly with a smug smile on his face.

“Hey! I'm not Sarah!” Johnathan proclaims, giggling and walking up to him and poking at him. “Oh? Then who are you?” Rae gasps, an obviously fake clueless tone in his voice as he kneels down

“I'm Johnathan, silly!” Johnathan giggles, causing Rae to let out an obviously fake confused noise. “Huh? But I thought she was Johnathan…?” Rae points to Sarah, causing the young boy he's kneeling down to to start giggling madly

“Alright… now Rae, I b-bought sommmme mac n cheese to make for some lunches, Sarah is grounded so she can't go out with her friends n-nor is thee to dithobey you. She'll help out with the chores around here and mak-k-ke sure Johnathan gets a good amount if entertainment.” Quinn explains like a mother worried about sending off their child to college. “Pfft. I'll be fine… we're gonna watch the Invader Zim DVD's I brought with me…” Rae snickers, Johnathan tilts his head.

“What's… Invader Zim…?” This, dear comment alone, causes Rae to let out an exasperated gasp of slightly fake shock.

“Y-YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF INVADER ZIM? Oh boy! Are we gonna have fun!” Rae noogies Johnathan, Quinn let's out a soft chuckle, kneeling down to hug Johnathan tightly. “I'll see you in a few days, bubba…”

“I'll see you too soon… Sissy…”

“Now, deary, me and my hubby will be going on a delightful cruise… we should be back by Monday afternoon so feel free to leave after feeding the kitties, unless you don't receive a call from us that morning than stay. It means something either happened or we may be running late…” Mrs. Baker explains carefully, Quinn takes the information in while they're handed the keys to the house.

“Yes, Mrs. B-Baker, I promithe I'll take good care of Tiddiewinks and Sn-Snugglebums… they'll get their meds and I-I-I'll do the chores around the home… You'll come back perfectly fine after the t-trip and you won't have to worry about a thing.” Quinn reassures the worried elderly woman as her and her husband load up in the car. Now… they had the house… all to themselves as they explored the place. It was pretty big for two old people and their cats. Three bathrooms, four bedrooms, two whole living rooms on both floors, and, not to mention, the big ass TV and the feeling of being alone…

“Huh… hey bub-” Quinn was about to call out, only to remember that Johnathan is at home, watching some nickelodeon show about aliens and a robot dog with Rae.

Quinn wasn't used to being alone, they've always been with family or spending majority of their time doing something for family… and anytime they were alone there was this… pit that always just eating away from the inside in their stomach, working it’s way around like a parasite trying to make them sick. The feeling never stuck around for long since they’d go to sleep before it could finish itself or they’d end up being occupied by company.

“mroow…” the tabby cat called from behind, Quinn turned around and looked at it, expecting a warmth to bloom in their heart only to be met with a desire for something… they didn’t understand it but Quinn scratched behind the cat’s ears anyway, trying to push the gut eating feeling down as they fixed up the food bowls for the kitties. A white fluffy cat came down, both meowing in tune with the rattling bag of cat food.

As the cats ate happily, anyone but Quinn would awe at the sight… naturally at least… Quinn tried to seem adored by the sight of the cats eating and meowing happily. They couldn't help but stare at the sight, thinking back to that night when they kicked the poor pomeranian hard enough to cause a yelp of pain, the way they sickeningly and oddly enjoyed the sights and sounds of it… Quinn decided that they'd watch TV instead! Yeah!

Quinn plopped themselves on the couch, flicking between channels… eventually they stopped on the local news, watching as the reporters… uh… report stuff… yeah this was kinda boring to be honest… what wasn't boring and had broken the boring feeling, however, was when they began to announce a recent crime. Arson was commuted along with murder just a neighborhood down from where Quinn lived. But that didn't matter, what mattered was the overview sight of the whole crime scene.

Quinn watched the video play on screen, the flames dancing up and down, side to side as they consume the victims home, and before they cut the feed they were able to catch a glimpse of the hacked up, charred corpses within the burning building. Anyone would've grown sick at the sight unless they either had a tough stomach that could handle the worst of sights or they were a twisted, sadistic nutcase…

“Mraaaooowww…” one of the cats called out, Quinn turned to them almost angrily, upset that their sick fantasies were interrupted by this cats need for… God what was it the spoiled bastard even needed? It was fat, plump, and knew nothing of the responsibilities that they had to face on a daily. It just sits around, pissing and shitting and eating and sleeping. Quinn pushed the cat off the couch aggressively, chuckling as it yelps in surprise.

“Aww, doeth the poow k-k-kitty need it meddy weddies? Fine. I'll g-g-get you your d-damn medic-cation…” Quinn said begrudgingly, getting the cats their meds and making sure they're fed the right amount.

Quinn turns the TV off and heads to the room with the biggest bed. Collapsing onto it. Why were they so angry? Why did they sound as if they were threatening a damn cat!? Why did… Quinn think about when they kicked a dog…? The racing thoughts only fueled Quinn's unknown and surprising exhaustion, making them fall into a deep slumber.

“Sissy! Sissy! Look! I found a dandy kitty!” Johnathan called out, holding up a fuzzy dandelion to their face. “Sissy, what did you say to do with dandy kitties?” Johnathan asks Quinn, to which they softly smile.

“You blow the f-fluffy fairies away from the d-d-dandy kittieth and make a wish… then your dreamth'll come t-t-true…” Quinn explains again, causing Johnathan to blow the dandelion’s “fairies” away from the “dandy kitties” and silently make his wish.

Quinn looked up at the sky, the clouds flying by, the warmth of the sun, it's almost distracting enough for Quinn to nearly not notice Johnathan running deep into the forest. They get up and following after him, expecting him to come running back.

Quinn walks through the forest for a few minutes, walking by stranded newspapers… “Woods family… murdered… eldest son… missing…” are the only words they caught from these papers. The newspapers must've flown from the town nearby, since they had been freaking out about this news for the past few days, missing flyers for the oldest son that had disappeared flying by as well from the all the wind that had been rustling the trees.

Quinn felt their head begin to spin, sleep deprivation due to nightmares and and fear from death threats received by… her… no, Quinn shook their head, they didn't wanna think about it… not in the slightest… seeing eyes on the trees, their eyes darting to look only to see them disappear. Hearing voices and turning to see them only for them to quiet down and appear in another direction. After spinning and searching desperately they stop as they stare at the towering man before them.

He smiled. Widely. Almost unnaturally, as he made long, exasperated steps towards them. Their spinning head wasn't able to tell them whether or not it was a figment of their imagination or it was a real threat. Whispers in every direction were the one thing keeping them entranced as the man approached. Suddenly, a chirpy, little voice squeaked behind them.

“Sissy! I missed you!” Johnathan declared while hugging them tightly, Quinn looked to see the man only to find he was gone… who… was he…?

Was he… even real…?

Quinn woke up in bed… an odd memory to dream of… the sun glared in their face as they checked the date, Saturday… they have today, Sunday and half a Monday to get through. They got up and stretched, they walked downstairs and prepared to make breakfast only to remember they don't have their little brother and sister to care for… they don't have their father to worry about… just… them.

They decided to make themselves breakfast for once, over-easy eggs and some crisp, juicy, delectable bacon. They didn't know how to describe it but bacon was probably the best thing ever in their existence (aside from their family), that plus waffles and syrup and a few eggs with a monster energy? God that's the closest to heaven they've felt in years, it feels great to be taking care of themselves for once.

They fed the cats, as usual, and sat down on the couch… now with nothing to do and much more energy than they knew what to do with. They went out to the backyard, seeing the tall fence that the Bakers put in only made Quinn feel even more free of judgment than they had ever felt before. Quinn happily lit a cigarette and took a long drag before sighing as the smoke floated through the crisp, morning air. Who knew housesitting away from your siblings would be so peaceful?

“Mroooww…” the same call echoed from behind, Quinn turned around and scowled at the sight of the tabby behind them. “Oh… thpoiled brat… w-whaddya wannnt…?”

“Mrrp…” it purred, rubbing against their leg repeatedly, only for Quinn to kick it away while giggling. “Hehe… aww… d-d-does kitty want a-a cuddle b-buddy? I d-don’t think tho…” Quinn mocked as they kicked the cat again, this time with the intention of just hearing it hiss and and cry in pain once more… it's only when their phone rings that they stop and put out their cigarette. Once they pick it up they hear a familiar, chirpy voice on the other end with a familiar and goofy chuckling.

“Oh hiiii b-bubba! How are youu…?” they responded, walking inside and almost feeling a bit scared and… sad about kicking the cat. Why now we're they feeling regret for hurting the cat…? Was it because they could've been caught? Was it that they were afraid of what Johnathan would think?

“I'm watching Invader Zim! I love Gir! He's just like me!” Johnathan giggles, Quinn smiles softly at his happy little voice, a warm feeling in their chest as they hear Johnathan ramble on about Invader Zim and waffles and Gir and how awesome he is and how much they relate. All while Quinn listens intently. Now they knew why they suddenly felt bad… they didn't want to hurt the people they loved… they couldn't imagine the idea of Johnathan, poor, sweet innocent Johnathan having to witness such things… not because they felt bad about being caught but… because they had someone they genuinely cared for.

“Hey… Johnathan, I-I-I know it's been a nice talk but I need t-to t-talk to Rae for a bit… just to see how you guyth are holding up without me…” Quinn requests, receiving “awws” and “I don't wanna stop talking yet's” until he begrudgingly says “bye” and hands Rae the phone.

“Heya, can you smell the excitement? I sure can… I hope you can see all the vibrant colors plastered on Johnathan's face…” Rae almost immediately stated, getting a weirded out response from Quinn.

“Rae what the hell d-d-does that even mean? We're on a phone call, not a fathetime… and whaddya m-mean “Vibrant colorth”? D-Did you paint his f-face?” Quinn questioned, almost demandingly as if a Mom just found out their teen son did something they weren't supposed to do.

“Well I gotta go now seeya!” Rae hung up, before calling again and Quinn to pick it up with a soft smile and an eye roll. “Tho… how are they? Is Sarah doing what she's told? Is J-Johnathan behaving? Is he e-eating well? Is-”

“Yeah, yes to all of those questions. Sarah is behaving very well, Johnathan is behaving and eating well, and we're all fine.” Rae retorts with a playfulness in his tone, easing Quinn's anxieties and fears.

“G-Good… I-I’m actually th-thurprithed that Sarah’s b-behaving at all… s-she usually listened t-t-to you…” Quinn explained, hints of skepticism and slight relief in their voice as they spoke.

“Oh Sarah's great! She's friendly, does what she's told, and she's quite talkative as well!” Rae exclaims, Quinn felt a shiver run down their spine and a slight dizziness in their head.

She… never talks to me… anymore… why…?

“What… wait she's being… social with you??” Quinn questioned, disbelief now more than apparent in their quivering voice. It was a slight shake that the optimistic Rae hadn't noticed one bit due to how excited he was to talk about what Sarah told him. It wasn't uncommon for Rae to talk to people and get to know them for only a few minutes and somehow accidentally manage to get said person to spiel about their lives…

“Yeah! She's been telling me all about you and stuff! She's also told me all about how she feels about you as well… I'm not gonna share any details but she's said quite a lot-”

“Wow, that's g-great, I'll t-t-try and call back, theeya.” Quinn cut him off before he could finish, texting to him a short “sorry” to excuse the behavior.

Sorry I hung up, I had stuff to do and I might not respond cuz I'll be busy the next few days

As Quinn hung up the phone, they looked down at the cat in front of them, it meowed as it begged for treats and food and attention. All they could feel was a sense of dread and regret as they remembered how they had kicked the poor animal earlier. “I'm… sorry…” They muttered, squatting down to pet the cat affectionately, why did they enjoy it earlier? Why were they feeling regret?

“Maaaaaooowww..!” The tabby cat meowed behind them, nuzzling up to them cautiously as Quinn teared up… thinking about how Johnathan would like these kitties…

That was it… Johnathan… Quinn realized at that moment that Johnathan was the only thing keeping them together. Sure, he was a little annoying at times and was a full responsibility for them, but the idea of the little boy having to watch Quinn laugh as the cats yelped in pain was enough to let the tears fall. After all these years, seeing Johnathan smile from anything, whether it be treating the kitties right or feeding him his favorite meal (Mac n cheese with tater tots and chopped hot dogs), or even giving him a new video game… his little smile and chirpy voice saying “Thank you sissy!” Was the only thing keeping Quinn together after it happened… after she hurt them…

Quinn stood up and gave the cats a few treats, trying to shover the anger down their own throat as the walked back inside the house. They didn't want to think about her in the slightest, especially since she’ll be coming next Wednesday…

Shit! She's coming next Wednesday! Just four days away! The dinner party, the food they had to prepare, having to let Johnathan and Sarah get near her… there was no other option than letting it happen. No matter the stress or anger they felt, they had to let it happen… even after the last time they saw her…

The white, fluffy cat nuzzled up against their leg from behind, breaking Quinn out of thought, they felt the anger shooting throughout their body. They clenched their fists and and stared at the cat with a death glare. They weren't angry at the cat, but they were angry at their Dad and her… but they held it in… just walking into the bathroom and shutting the door, locking it before keeling over and puking in the toilet.

They got up, vomit dripping from their chin before they stand up and rinse their mouth out, splashing water on their face.

They stood straight and stared into the mirror, seeing a pale reflection of their depressing self. Bags under their eyes, greasy and messy hair, a dead look in their hazel eyes…

“Shower…” Quinn thought aloud, leaving the bathroom and going over to their duffle bag, grabbing some fresh clothes and heading back to the bathroom, turning on the shower and undressing. After the fact, they feel the water.

Warm

They step in, shutting the curtain and grabbing some shampoo, lathering it into their hair before standing under the running water, watching as the soap runs down their body and drips off their legs… letting their mind drift as the bubbles do through the water.

They hated the situation they were stuck in… not just the dinner party next Wednesday, but everything about their life so… heavy. At the helm of every moment, they didn't even get a chance to grow up all because of each and every little thing that they had to look over and take care of. Their childhood ripped away from themselves, all to give to their siblings whatever they could get… all to spoil them with the little money they had. And yet now that she is coming over. She is seeing their siblings. She is prying back into their life once again... Even Quinn subconsciously knew (but refused to acknowledge or even think of) that sooner or later they would snap.

Ah… time to condition their hair…

They carefully brush in the conditioner… why did the old people always have the most soothing scents? They let it sit in for a bit before they scrubbed the product out of their hair, moving onto scrubbing their body.

They shut off the water, stepping out and drying off. They put on their clothes and walked out of the bathroom, heading to the kitchen and grabbing some marshmallows from the pantry and sitting on the couch. They shoveled a few shmallows into their mouth before a noise broke them out of their trance.

“Mroooowww…” the tabby cat meowed, nuzzling against their leg as Quinn mourned their nonexistent childhood. They didn't even notice it until the cat clawed at their leg…

“Mrrp… mrrowp…” it purred before being pulled into a tight, tear filled yet silent hug. It continued to purr while Quinn sat there in constant thought of what there life had come to. They were stuck housesitting for a job… Quinn cleaned and cooked and took care of everyone and everything around them all except themselves.

Sure… they went to college…

They majored in art of any kind…

…

“What am I gonna do once it'th over?” They thought aloud… letting go of the cat as it calmly walked away to munch on some leftover kibble.

“What's g-gonna happen to me once I gr-graduate?” Quinn had begun to speak their mind to nobody and nothing at all. “What am I-I-I even going to do? Huh? What- What job am I going to t-t-t-take? What life am I going to live? What happenth once I-I get a real job? What…” They stopped in place, they didn't even realize they were pacing and they didn't care.

“What do I even want to do for a living?” They spoke aloud… this being, surprisingly, the first time they've even questioned what they wanted… Career-wise that is. What did they even want to be? Sure, they were majoring in art for their degree, they'd been working efficiently on their time in art! They'd loved doing art their whole life, hell, going to college and seeing Rae in class with a family sized bag of snacks to devour in an instant while talking over Quinn happily doing whatever art related tasks they needed/wanted to do was their big escape in life…

But why did they choose that? They could've chosen better routes in life! Hell, if they tried enough, they could be the CEO of some big company later in life! They'd be filthy rich, able to afford proper care for their siblings without struggle, and they'd all be happy…

The same could be said for their art career. Sure, they probably won't become much, but if they do they could afford the same amount (if not more) of comfort in life!

Quinn realized that being a famous or rich or even moderately paid artist wasn't what they wanted in life! They truly didn't know what they wanted because they chose their hobby to major in college rather than thinking of what they wanted to actually do.

It was all because they spent more time worrying and caring for everyone else around them… they spent more time sacrificing for others and getting very little in return. Even when they used this to their advantage so they'd get hired and paid to do these things for others and yet it would all go to their siblings.

Before they knew it, it was dawn… they sat down, realizing how wobbly their legs were and soon after got back up, as if sitting was useless to them in that moment. They put away the bag of marshmallows and filled the cat food bowls, along with the water bowl as well. They stumbled into the master bedroom of the house, nearly tripping over their bag when something shiny caught their attention…

A hunter’s knife, a beautiful thing indeed. It had amazing handle design, along with a freshly sharpened blade and a bird beak to hold it up (if ever hung). Quinn took it and put it back in it's sheathe, hiding it under the pillow they slept on that night. It helped then sleep a little better…

Recent events with being the murders and fires going around is enough to excuse this feeling of safety and… power I guess…

The next few days passed in a flash, the memory almost blurry and nonexistent to Quinn as they awaited on Monday for a call or for the old couple to return… they flicked on the news and they were left with… shock and questions.

“A horrific and tragic car crash has taken the media by storm, the local Mr. and Mrs. Baker have passed along with several others who had been caught up in the crash…” a clip from a jam cam plays in correspondence to the reporter. “Local experts say they could’ve seen a deer or some wild animal or that, just maybe, they weren't the best drivers. But nobody really knows for sure as the camera cuts out for a split second and suddenly everyone is caught in a whirlwind of disaster and death-” Quinn shuts off the TV.

“Sigh… i-it'th a g-good thing they pa-pa-payed me in a-advanthe…” They twitched as they sat up, grabbing their duffel bag, their knife, and drove away from the home.

A quick look in the rear view mirror showed Quinn a few cop cars and (presumably) cars of investigators.

“Sissy! Sissy! Look! I made a drawing of Gir! Isn't he so cool?” Johnathan peeped, holding up a drawing of a green robotic zipper dog next to a green alien with wide pink eyes. Quinn chuckled as they pat his head. “My, th-that's a wonderful d-d-drawing! Di-Did you have fun with Rae?”

“I HAD LOT’S OF FUN! I watched Invader Zim with him and sissa was lot's of fun too! We all watched Invader Zim and played games and-” Johnathan went on and on about all the fun they had until eventually Rae walked over with his belongings in a bag.

“Ah! Rae! Don't forget your Invader Zim DVD set-”

“You can keep it for now…” Rae interrupted Johnathan, to which the little boy gasped in joy. “REALLY!?? You'll let me keep it!???” He exclaimed, causing Quinn and Rae to chuckle. “Yeah… for now… I'll come over some other time and take it back though, but I promise I'll find you another full Invader Zim DVD set to keep…” Rae ruffled Jonathan's hair, to which be ran around and jumped while squealing with joy.

Quinn chuckled once again. “Jeez… you're go-good with kids and m-m-making them all excited…” Rae laughed in response to this. “Yeah… like you aren't a charm to them. You wouldn't be able to count the times conversations were driven away from whatever topic and directed to you and how awesome you are.”

The two joked for a bit, catching up with each other before eventually Rae left and Quinn sat down on the couch, causing Johnathan to tug on their shirt sleeve. “Yeah, bubba? What is-is it?” They asked, looking down and opening their eyes to see a soft smile on the little boy's face. “You're tired… go sleep… Sarah can play with me…” He stated bluntly, they looked down at Johnathan and looked over at Sarah walking in with a bowl of cereal. “It's okay… I can handle the gremlin…” She said softly yet with a tinge of “I'm trying to sound like I don't care” in her voice.

Quinn silently agreed and walked over to their room, stumbling away in exhaustion and sadness. They shut the door, shove their stained knife under their pillow and slept once more. Waking up two hours later and stumbling back downstairs.

They sat down on the couch, almost dosing off once again before realizing what Johnathan was watching.

“Local reports say that local law enforcement when first coming to the house found that the house was in a shriveled and unkempt state. Investigators say that their were more than enough signs that there were pets there. But no such animals were found upon arrival or further investigation-” Quinn shut off the TV, causing Johnathan to protest.

“Why did you turn it off. The lady was talking about the home you were at!” Quinn looked away guiltily, answering briefly. “Yeah… Mr. and M-Mrs. Baker… t-they came back and took t-their kitties t-to the cruise!” Quinn lied to his face, causing him to smile and agree.

“Wow! They must be having lots of fun now!” He giggled as he turned the TV back on and put on Invader Zim. Quinn stood up and walked away, guilt rummaging through the back of their mind as they entered the kitchen. They were prepared to make dinner but we're surprised to find Sarah making pimento cheese chicken bake for dinner.

“Oh hey! Rae taught me a buncha dinner recipes, so I can handle dinner for tonight and the next few nights! I heard there's gonna be a dinner party this Wednesday and-”

“Who told you that?”

Quinn looked up with slightly lifted eyes, almost scared and demanding tone in their voice. To which Sarah looked back with a raised brow. “The… family group chat…?” She stated, to which Quinn facepalmed. “Of course… I forgot there's a group chat…” Quinn thought to themselves, remembering the fact that the family had a group chat between them, Dad and Sarah.

“Who's coming over again?” Johnathan asked, walking into the kitchen to join Quinn and Sarah's conversation. To which Sarah answered that before Quinn could speak up.

“Someone named A҉҉n҉҉d҉҉r҉҉e҉҉a҉ or something… I think she's our-”

“She's nobody important. It's just business.” Quinn stated bluntly, the answer enough to convince Johnathan to go back to minding his own business. They breathed a sigh if relief when Johnathan left the room. And Sarah only seemed confused at Quinn's eagerness to ignore the upcoming event.

“Don't. Even… thpeak about it… ju-just… i-if you c-c-can go to the grothery th’tore on T-Tuesday for me, I-I'll drive you there bu-but… if you do it f-for me I-I'll let you ask me a f-few things about… her.” Quinn stopped Sarah before she could speak up, offering a deal that Sarah accepted gratefully.

Before Quinn could make it up the stairs, Sarah walks over. “Y-You don't wanna join dinner? I've been practicing cooking!” She called out to her sibling, only receiving a shake of the head, Quinn stops again when they hear Johnathan giggling and walking up to Quinn with his usual chirpy and squeaky voice.

“Sissy! Are you coming down? The food’s super yummy!” He declared with a smile on his face. Quinn felt their heart warm and changed their mind, turning around and coming downstairs with a smile on their face. “Sure… I'll join…” they chuckle as they sat at the dinner table.

They watched the two giggle and laugh and talk about whatever… a smile on Quinn's face as they occasionally threw in a laugh or a comment… things felt like they were back to normal… things felt like the old times, back when things were a little less tense and they were able to enjoy being together without a care in the world…

Monday came and went… going to college, going home, and with barely anything to care for (since Sarah had started becoming more productive around the house) Quinn simply went to bed a bit early… Tuesday came and was definitely slower than the last day…

They finally finished the mask they were working on, it was molded perfectly for their face and had a ravishing design. Imagine a frown, with droopy makeup resembling bands like KISS and Twiztid (that are just a little more drippy)...

They brought the mask home and hung it on their wall in front of their bed. They later took Sarah to the grocery store and got all of the supplies for the dinner party that would come the next day. They managed to avoid the topic of her on the way home with Quinn putting it off for tomorrow.

They went to bed… shaking in nervousness of what’s to come of tomorrow… she’s gonna be here… and little did Quinn know that this would be the last coherent and real dream that they would ever have again, this would be their last day of normalcy…

“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE HEATHEN!!” She shouted angrily at a young, 6 year old Quinn, chasing them up the stairs with a glowing hot iron rod from the tools by the fireplace. Their father followed behind her, trying to convince her to stop only to relieve a slap to the face that nearly pushed him down the stairs…

Quinn was hiding on the other side of the bed, fearfully hoping that this would all end so they don't have to be stuck here… crying and helpless… all of this had started because Sarah was born… and she wanted to keep her, them, and their father here. But the divorce papers that needed to be signed said otherwise… Quinn was always under the blame for this for whatever reason that… Mother decided was best…

She finally makes her way to the room, looking down at the shivering Quinn in the corner with dagger eyes and the still burning rod clutched in her hand… “Little heathen… you really think you could hide behind your pwetty wittwe bed?” She taunted, walking around the bed, preparing to do the worst.

She swung the rod, missing and only cutting Quinn's right cheek as their father began to struggle with her… Quinn ran out of the room, running to Sarah's crib and pulling her out of their, they ran out of the house and to the police…

Of course… she was only held in jail for about 30 days because they barely even believed that a woman would even hurt their husband and children…

Years had passed, their father worked effortlessly to afford them all they could after they managed to get a restraining order against her after Johnathan was born… to which they had to move away again… Sarah lost most of her friends and began to shut herself away… their father could barely even look at Johnathan considering how he was even conceived…

Quinn woke up from the dream, sitting up and staring up at their hung mask. As if they were looking for answers for how to avoid all of this happening again…

They got out of bed, got dressed in their usual fit, and left to drop off the kids at school. After the fact, they made their way to the campus. Heading to class as per usual. Sitting next to Rae without even greeting him back…

“...You nervous?” He asked, causing Quinn to snap their head up. Looking at Rae with a dead look in their eyes.

“...what?”

“...you heard me… you good…? You don't seem… well.” Rae stated once more, a concerned and sympathetic look in his eyes. Quinn’s eye twitched in response, a scowl spreading across their face, bringing a much darker shade to their eye bags.

“N-N-No. I'm no-not fine, Rae. I-I feel like shit.” They hissed at him, he looked at them with a soft look in his eyes. Like a parent would with a child crying because they broke a glass of milk on the floor on accident.

“H-Hey calm down, I know things have been stressful now-” “Oh y-you care now, d-dontcha? Huh!?” They snapped, not yelling but indeed raising their voice.

“I've been handling my s-s-siblings for God knows how long, stressing over a d-dinner party with her and f-fucking worrying over my life’s future! H-How have you not n-noticed that I'm not o-okay!? I-”

“Hey, calm down. I know it's been rough recently, but please, not right now, you don't need anymore stress.” Rae quiets them down, managing to at least get pure silence for the rest of the day… Rae tried to talk to them after the fact but got a sour response.

“Quiet. Leave me alone. I d-don't wanna talk.”

Quinn made it home. Thinking about how badly they wanted to call Rae and apologize to him… but for some reason they couldn't bring themselves to pick up their phone and make the call.

Sarah and Johnathan were waiting in the living room after Quinn went to grab ahold (and conceal) their knife, they plopped down next to the two on the couch. Their Dad was gonna come home earlier than usual to prepare for the dinner party.

The silence was maddening, Johnathan bounced in his seat, excited to even spend time with them all while Sarah tried to think of ways to start conversations and possibly reconcile with everyone and Quinn desperately hopes some magical minimal kills her off so they don't have to worry about talking or dealing with her.

Why do I want… that to happen to her?

Their thoughts are cut short by a certain Dad walking into the home. “Alrighty, Quinn, get to preparing the salmon!” He tried to say in a cheesy, upbeat tone with finger guns and a shit eating grin on his face. Quinn nods and gets up, hoping to ask Sarah to help before Dad decides otherwise. “Sarah! Could you set up the table and do some decorations? Imma be upstairs preparing my outfit and looks for dinner! And Johnny! Little little Johnny!” He leaned over and booped his little nose, “Why don't you go help Quinn with din din?”

Johnathan happily accepts, Quinn stands there, dumbfounded and a little upset but not vocally protesting (the only protest being their facial expression). They all get up and head to handle their tasks, Sarah eager in decorating the dining room and table, and Johnathan having more fun than anyone in the house helping out with dinner.

“Sissy! Sissy!” Johnathan chirped up, Quinn took a deep breath, not wanting to lose face. They looked down at Johnathan with a strained and haphazard smile. “What's up…?” they croaked out, an exhausted tone in their dry voice. Johnathan smiled and yapped on and on, asking some miscellaneous question… Quinn could barely hear his yapping, as it was all a blur, each word passing by as a fuzzy reminder that they existed in this moment. When the question was finally asked and Johnathan noticed Quinn’s subconscious absence, he repeated their name over and over until the snapped back to realty.

“Hmm? Huh? What was it b-b-bubba?” They requested the repetition of the questions. Johnathan giggled before he asked once more, “How come I haven't ever seen mommy until now?”

…

shit… He found out…

They thought to themself, almost gasping aloud to the question… “U-Um… w-whaddya m-mean…?” They avoided answering, their voice quivering with a slight fear of what could happen… he could turn against them, he could get taken by her, he could-

“I mean like… I've never seen mommy until now… how come…?” He asked innocently, his eyes wide with curiosity and innocence, Quinn can’t help but answer this innocent question… “Sigh… well… there wath a lot of b-bad things that happened… and sh-she-she had to stay away… but I gu-guess she's coming for d-dinner now.” They stated, hoping he'll be sufficed with all these answers. “Now… Can you g-go g-get me the baby carrots, b-b-bubba?” They asked, done getting all the pots and pans out. Johnathan nodded and smiled, grabbing the baby carrots from the fridge. Quinn sighed in relief for a moment, believing that he was done with questions… but he was far from done, his curious little mind wanted to know everything about her.

“What's she like? Is she cool? What did she do?” he shit question after question, a smile still prominent on his face as Quinn was overloaded with information. “I-I-I- uh- uhm-” They put the carrots in the pot with hot water as the stuttered, turning in the stove. “Watch t-the stove for me b-b-bubba… S-S-Sissy needs a b-break…” they muttered as the ran up to their room, collapsing on the ground as they shut the door. They got up and sat down in their bed, pulling out their knife to clean it off… staring into the reflection of the blade as they put away their cloth… once again, they were met with the same thoughts and feelings that disgusted them. The same ones that they felt when they saw the fire from last week on the news, the same one that made them hate themselves because they didn’t want any harm caused to little Johnathan…

They walked downstairs, finding Johnathan watching the carrots intently. “Hey sissy! You were up for a while… I think they're done!” He chirped, Quinn smiled at his eagerness and innocence… ruffling his hair as they go back to fixing up dinner.

It was a long silence before Johnathan nearly forgot Quinn's evasion of the questions he asked earlier. He perked up and began to shoot questions at then again, they couldn't keep up at all… it was all building up into a horrible feeling… a horrible thought…

“Quinn! Hurry up! I'm gonna go get A҉҉n҉҉d҉҉r҉҉e҉҉a҉! Her car's broken down and I expect to come home with a fully prepared dinner…” Their father announced as the front door shut, the sounds of his car pulling away only fueled this anxiety and feeling to the max.

“She's coming! She's coming! Are you excited, sissy!?”

Quinn couldn't hold back anymore. Those words threw them into there very first angry fit… and probably the worst one ever…

Screams, flashes of red and adrenaline ran through the moment, the only thing stopping them is the horrified voice behind them.

“...Jonathan?”

Sarah asked, her eyes wide with surprise, horror, and grief as she stared at the bloody mess before them both. Quinn swung at her from behind, only snapping back to reality as Sarah fell back, lifeless…

Quinn stared at the mess they created in their fit, the horror and agony they just caused… they stared back at… him… and felt tears run down their face…

“You're… dead… It's… my fault…”

They thought aloud, their voice shaky with grief, loss, and pure terror. Tears continued to fall as they stumbled upstairs… they sat in their room, they had lost the two things keeping them going in this world. The only two reasons why they kept themselves alive.

What do I do? What- what's even going to happen now? I'm gonna get caught. I-I can't let that happen… I…

Their thoughts stopped as they looked up, their mask hanging on the wall in front of them… they have nothing to lose now… they have nobody to care for…

…I'll take matters into my own hands… might as well finish the job…

They though as the grabbed the mask and stapped it on their face. It fit like a glove.

Their parents stood no chance of survival against Quinn. Their deaths were quick and meaningless. They lit a cigarette and lifted their mask slightly to soothe their nerves. Before anxiety hit them like a truck.

Shit. What’ll the cops think?

They quickly made their way out back, grabbing a canister of gasoline and trailing it all over the house, out of the house, down the street…

They saw the home that lived next door, a family. A very happy family… they were eating dinner together and laughing it all up… for some twisted reason, it sickened Quinn. “How disgusting…” they muttered as they trailed gasoline around the home as well. Just barely enough made it far away enough to light it up from afar.

They finished their cigarette, staring at the still lit butt before pulling their mask back and throwing the but onto the line of gasloline… both homes broke into flames, and Quinn couldn't help but smile at the beautiful sight… and they couldn't help the maniacal laughter escaping their body. They ran into the forest, tears streaming down their face and laughter filling the silence of this blood curling night.

They managed to find a cabin after so long… it was a cabin the family used to camp at occasionally before Johnathan came along… they found their bunk and passed out for the night.

The next day, they got up and turned on the radio, expecting music to play but only finding news reporters talking about the events that transpired that night.

“-Massive house fire that burned down two homes and killed one family. Experts say the source can be traced back to the Devore's home and no trace of the eldest child can be found. Autopsies will be done to figure out how the Devore family was killed, as their charred bodies were found more mutilated than any old house fire could cause-”

That alone was enough to make them smash the radio to bits. Their paranoia began to show and it was daunting…

That's it… I'm gonna get found… I'm going to jail…

The only thoughts they had were concerned for themselves and themselves alone… for once, not having anyone to care for was dreadful but also relieving…?

What- no!! Hell no!! I just killed my family, for crying out loud! Why… why don't I feel guilty???

What…

Their thoughts transpired as a realization hit them.

…Why did I care…?

It's been a while… a week, at least… since the incident… it's really fuzzy in their head, and the lack of sleep isn't helping with the delusions and voices and dizzyness… what had happened a week prior was barely memorable…

I… killed people… who were my important… but my important… what…? Where's Johnathan? Where's Sarah?

Two weeks… the slept last week but didn't sleep again, their nightmares haunting enough with Johnathan and Sarah appearing as the mutilated corpses they became… chasing them through the forest until they came upon a tall, faceless figure and woke up right after…

Who… was that…? Why… were Johnathan and Sarah… dead…? It was my fault but…

What… did they mean to me…?

Three weeks. They slept again last week but the dream was so cryptic and horrific they could barely remember it…

I hate this… who's the faceless man…? Why is he here? Why is he familiar? Why are the two kids familiar to me?

Oh yeah… they're my siblings…

It had been a full month, they were losing their mind and had barely slept… they don't understand why they're here… they don’t understand why they ended up this way…

I killed someone… lot’s of people, actually… I took their lives but…

Who were they? I know the names “Johnathan” and “Sarah” but… why?

Their thoughts were broken up by the sound of their stomach grumbling… they need to eat again…

They got up and headed to the cooler, only to find no more food… guess it was hunting season…

They stared at the door with anticipation. It had been a whole month since they left and they had no idea what to do… they didn’t understand why they hadn’t been caught yet… they didn’t understand why they hadn’t ran farther yet… but nonetheless, hunger had struck hard enough to push then out the door.

The darkness engulfed Quinn in the night… they walk through the forest quietly, occasionally looking up at the stars through the shadows of the forest trees. And then going back to looking for at least a rabbit…

Snap…

They drew their blade and turned quickly… only finding a boy… he looked to be a few years younger than Quinn at the least, brown messy hair, pale white skin, a muzzle or mask of sorts, orange goggles, and two hatchets in their holsters… one looked a lot older than the other…

“...Y-You’re *neck snap* new… mmhh…” the boy stuttered, approaching Quinn with wide eyes. Quinn took a few steps back and the boy laughed loudly at the action. Before regaining composure…

“Heh… re-relaaax… ch-chiill… *whistle* b-b-birdy!” He twitched and ticked, Quinn tilted their head but felt a strange sense of… connection between them…

“I-I-I should sh-show ya t-to the boss! H-He's g-g-gonna be SUPER excited!” He exclaimed, nodding Quinn to follow along, but they didn't budge…

“What's wr-wrong? Sc-Sc-Scaaaaared?” He teased, only for Quinn to stay still and silent for a few moments before speaking.

“...Name?”

Toby looked up, dumbfounded as he realized he never introduced himself. “Haha! Si-Silly me… N-Name's Toby! Y-You?” He returned, Quinn taking a moment before responding…

“Quinn. Na-Name's Quinn…”