#I'm getting back into watching columbo

[janedoeremi]

Detectives in media I would trust to solve my murder:

Columbo

Benoit Blanc

Batman

Literally 99% of the detectives in anime

Detectives in media I would not trust to solve my murder:

Sherlock

[formosusiniquis]

any cosmo girl would have known

“Oh she did it for sure.”

“Steve!”

“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”

“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”

“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.

“I know it's an awful show.”

Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.

“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”

“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”

“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”

“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”

“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”

“You said you liked it!”

“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”

“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”

“You weren't into that? Look at who-”

“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”

“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.

“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”

Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”

“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”

“And press play,” Eddie shouts.

“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”

“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”

“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.

“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.

“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”

“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”

His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.

“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.

“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.

“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.

No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.

[liquidorcard]

Lily can't keep her own "Sympathetic" Villains rules Straight: Anthony Gramuglia edition

See Crim's edition for the rules and outlines. Here we go.

Lily's Response to Ant:

Lily's probably going to get a significantly worse score on this one because me and Ant I think have similar media diets. We begin:

1. In the book, 100% he is THE villain. The movie not as much. Still though, I think movie Hammond more than fit's Lily's criteria. -1 life found a way

2. We already went over this (yes I am still writing p.3 of my Magneto post.) -1 Anthro cow delivering your children

3. Kyubey's keeping the universe from ending Lily. How could you get closer to having a point than that? -1 timeline

4. See Crim's post. He does fail #2. Again though, by Lily's original parameters this was a valid entry. But I have to give her the point. +1 spider gets it's legs ripped off

5. I bet she thought this was clever. -1 gate keeper.

6.N/A

7. I don't even know what she's talking about here. -1

8. Del Toro sends his regards. -1 Nerdy fish man.

9. LILY HASN'T SEEN THE BROADWAY SMASH HIT PLANET OF THE APES THE MUSICAL, STARRING TROY MCCLURE!? For shame! -1 (has anyone else watched that movie recently? I'm not saying it's aged poorly, but like, it is profoundly unintentionally hilarious, watching it in the modern day. I know this was like, the whole thing back then-- leading men who were too cool for school, but Taylor is such a fucking asshole. Cornelius is the real hero of the film, and everyone bullies him for not matching their lunatic energy. #justiceforCornelius #GeorgeTaylorisoverparty)

10. N/A (Trekkies don't try me.)

11. N/a

12. N/A (I mean I feel like I've probably seen the whole Mummy franchise just through memes at this point but. Lily's reasoning here is fucking asinine though-- as per usually Ant us uniquely getting her goat.)

13. This is actually the first example that breaks rule #3. Sorry fam I love Elfen Lied too, but it's a bit of a hot mess. +1 dead puppy

14. Scar is a dead ringer to Lily's criteria. She straight up just didn't have a pot to piss in, so she just wrote "no." -1 Dwarf in a flask

15. For the record, my boomer mom has seen Ghost in the Shell. The movie anyway. -1 body on loan

16. I watched this as a kid but can't really remember anything about it, so, I gotta put it as N/A.

17. This might actually be the first time I've seen anyone else memtion this movie . . . But still. -1 burnt wheelchair

18. Not plus ultra. -1 for all

19. Oh fuck off Lily. Glass houses. -1 jutsu

20. Sai, Crim and Ant spoke pretty extensively about this one. -1 angry hair raise

21. This one too. -1 demon pig

22. Yes she is. -1 dad

23. See Crim's list. -1 Prisoner 24601

24. N/A

25. Read ANY book, Lily. -1 absent godly parent.

26. I've only read the first one. N/A

27. Lily's reason here is bullshit but I haven't seen Columbo either. N/A

28. Why not Lily? -1 Jimbo

29. YES SHE FUCKING IS LILY. Just because in a modern context her story is a lot more tragic doesn't mean she isn't intended to be a villain. Lily made up the rule "has a point," but if they have an iron clad one she just declares them not a villain. -1 head

30. OBJECTION! NOW YOU REMEMBER VILLAIN AND ANTAGONIST ARENT TRUE SYNONYMS FOR EACH OTHER!? -1 Lily if you could just ONCE try to engage with a media discussion honestly.

31. N/A. I'll get around to watching it.

32. Not in Dracula Untold. -1 Damn Luke Evans looks like he was cloned from Orlando Bloom. I can't tell those two apart.

33. DIFFERENT DRACULAS. HOLY SHIT. -1 Lily this rational is so piss poor it's embarrassing. Even for you.

34. N/A

35. Isn't he in Kingdom Hearts? -1 Ah Ha Ha Ha

36. Another non-surprise. -1 traveler on his way home.

37. I haven't played enough Kurby to know why Meta Knight is a sympathetic villain. N/A

38. I've played enough to know Lily's right on this one. +1 Deddeddeedeeededededeeedede

39. A) several characters on both Crim and Ants' lists have been protagonists. B) IT'S FUCKING COMMON POPCULTURE KNOWLEDGE DONKEY KONG WAS THE ANTAGONIST IN THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF BOTH MARIO AND DK. -1 Lily I'm fucking shocked you don't know this. Genuinely. That's saying something, considering it's you.

40. Solid Lily continues to be the worst one. -1 LIQUIDDDDDDDD

41. Yes she is. Her point is the magic is what keeps her fucking family safe. -1 gift

42. You'd probably like this movie actually, Lily. Not the book, but. Or maybe not, there's no incest lesbians I guess. -1 sexy tree

43. I'm going to give Lily the point to maintain consistency that mind-manipulation doesn't count as "a point." Before he put on the crown he's not really even an antagonist, so. He IS an example of a sympathetic villain, however. +1

44. THERE ARE OTHER ANIMALS ON THIS LIST. Another one who's spot on, so she can't figure out how to even pretend to argue against it. -1 Beauty who killed the beast

45. GODZILLA ISN'T LITERALLY A NUKE. -1 pop culture jokes don't substitute proper media analysis

46. The Kaiju Lily. Her name is the title of the film. It's not Ant's fault You're too lazy to Google shit. -1 Viking Relic

(Biollante would have been my personal pick for sympathetic Kaiju. And her dad. She would have broken Lily's first rule since she's probably not aware of exactly what's happened to her, but. Her father at least fits Lily's criteria. A lot of the Kaiju are sympathetic though.)

47. This is a perfect example as to why Lily's rules are ridiculous. John Kramer is, in my opinion, outrageously unjustified in what he does. He follows her rules though. Having a bad point is still having a point. How "well written" he is wildly different depending on the movie, but because he's at least well written sometimes I'm counting him. -1 foot

48. You haven't read Paradise Lost Lily. I know you haven't. -1 Satan crying for everything he's lost

49. God Lily I wish you'd actually read something for once because this is an even better example as to why your rules are a joke. -1 Facist Worm King

50. This is a specific example. -1 tears, it's a waist of good suffering.

LILY'S FINAL SCORE: 19/50

38% - F

Got wrong: 24

Got right: 2

Removing the ones I haven't seen:

19/39

48% - F

Removing the ones Lily hasn't seen:

15/37

40% - F

Removing the ones we both haven't seen:

2/26

7% - F

[baroque-hashem]

I'm watching Columbo (S4E1 Exercise in Fatality) and as Columbo gets to the crime scene he gets a call from his wife. And he is just, so, idk--tender? With her? The first thing out of his mouth is "What are you doing up at this hour?" And then he shouts into the hallway asking his fellow cops what time it is. He's concerned for her. Like, get back to bed, honey, you need your rest! Mrs. C says she wants food and he's like "What about Chinese food? Yeah, decide whatcha want, call the place, and I'll pick it up on the way home." And then he goes "I gotta get back to work. You can keep talking but I gotta hang up." And then he hangs up, smiles, and shakes his head. Like, such simple but profound acting, showing so clearly the depth of love this character has for his wife. They are used to each other. They're comfortable. And I love it.

[farmerbebop]

The sun was shining too bright for me to be worrying about my deadline so I guess I'll use this rare occasion to make a pinned post.

When I started blorbo posting it was simply because "If even I, who knows next to nothing about British and American TV series, can see that Patrick McGoohan was criminally underrated, then maybe this blog has a reason to exist."

The only thing I ever learned about blorbo posting is from the Columbo fandom. They have fun, and they love their blorbo. As the kids say: Love and peace on planet earth.

But McGoohan is a challenge and will never stop being one. His public image, both in front and behind of the camera, isn't that of someone who would be pleased with blorbo posting. I don't know how other blorbo bloggers feel, but I just wish I can hold a conversation with my blorbo that doesn't bore him to death or anger him to the point of throwing me out of the room.

Judging someone who talked about his nervous breakdown like it was just a cold isn't something I like to do, especially online. So if I have to talk about McGoohan, I always get quite nervous. I can only say that I regret we didn't get to know him as much as we would like to and I really wish he was still here with us.

I know many of the decisions he made, he made it for future generations. It's my privilege to say that my blorbo's gift to the three-year-old running this blog has been her greatest pride as a blorbo blogger. And her hardest and most honourable task is not to mess it up.

I actually didn't create this blog to please McGoohan (the ladies can testify to that, lol). And I think I make fun of him more than I should. But I hope he knows that life as a blorbo blogger isn't easy when your blorbo is Patrick McGoohan and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be too hard on me.

And just in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm doing on here, here's a short guide to my blog.

my stupid vid My McGoohan fancams are what I personally consider the funniest part of my blog. But they can be somewhat serious too, I think.

my lousy photoshopping This can mean just about anything. McGoohan as The Little Prince. McGoohan in Ingmar Bergman's films. Anything that I made with photoshop. So I have some more tags to categorize it.

mcgoohan at the museum What I love to do the most in photoshop is putting McGoohan into paintings. I don't know why. Maybe because it easily hides my lousy photoshopping skills. Or maybe because my blorbo is as beautiful as a painting.

mcgoohan album covers What can I say? “But you don't really care for music, do you?”

mcgoohan fashion Let's be honest, don't you love a beautiful blorbo?

mcgoohan posters I sometimes try not to misinterpret McGoohan's works, I don't know if I succeed though.

no context mcgoohan Mostly just McGoohan sitting or standing somewhere. But I love it nonetheless.

mcgoohan for kids and mcgoohan anime Well, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

mcgoohan arthouse One day I'll retire from blorbo posting and go back to watching arthouse films.

mcgoohan stickers They are not as cute as cat or bunny stickers, but they stick all right.

the prisoner redux or anything redux means my lousy photoshopping for that particular series/movie. But when there are so many McGoohans in one post I get tired of tagging and I just give up.

I think that's enough of my lousy photoshopping.

wild mcgoohan in his natural habitat McGoohan as God intended him. Trying to not give away too much information in interviews.

mcgoohan lore McGoohan in someone else's words, including his daughter's. Needless to say, my words should not be trusted. You'll know them when you see them.

my gif McGoohan gifs, mostly for losing tumblr polls. Also for making this blog popular with the ladies on here.

village poetry If there's one thing that McGoohan might like about this blog, this is probably it.

village soundcloud Blorbos and song lyrics go hand in hand - Tumblr proverb.

mcgoogoo and me Just me rambling about my McGoohan dreams and my hard life as a blorbo blogger.

my lousy shitposting It has something to do with McGoohan I'm afraid. But it's fun.

I know this blog has become quite predictable and it's filled with half of my life's story. But if McGoohan was really who I think he was, that would be the least of his problems with my blog.

And finally, my hiatus is a running joke that I'm getting worse at, I hope.

[gin-juice-tonic]

convinced that you were somehow secretly alive in the 60s/70s. what sort of secret historical resources and/or time machines are you using to expand your knowledge of decades past

Ha ha, I dont feel I do a particularly great job, but I always find myself getting into googling sprees when I just wanted to post about something simple. I'm always checking if x thing was invented yet, or popularized yet, and I end up learning a lot of new things... So I would say the best way to expand your knowledge is to ask a question about One thing, and let the research take you around in circles to answers you didnt ask for.

I talked more under here but it got long. Im putting it under a read more and bolding key words like an ace attorney game.

As for specific resources I've looked at... hm... I've gone through a lot of the old sears catalogs. There's websites out there that have ones dating all the way back from 1940 to 2017. That can give you ideas about (some) styles of clothes and furniture popular at the time. There's also websites dedicated to explaining certain decades of american fashion. Sometimes I read old popular science magazines, mainly because google books has every single one of them archived and available to read for free...

Youtube has a lot of videos of old advertisements, those are good ways to both get into some pop culture and see societal attitudes. I've watched a lot of infomercials and employee training videos for stan in particular lol. If you have specific places you want to know about you can search for videos of them. Tourism videos work well if its a famous area, if not some people upload their home movies onto youtube as well.

If you really want to, you can read books (or skim books) that were written, or had been popular to read around the time. Or advice/guide books for specific occupations. Biographies of people of different ages are great as well to learn about what life was like more in a daily way...

This is long, so I'm just going to list some things now. Blogs dedicated to histories of certain things (music, sports, gay history, 5 string banjos, columbo, whatever!), TV shows and Movies from the time period you were interested in, old comics, redditors who want to post old photos of their favorite old hangouts, and lastly, you could also just talk to older people. I've bothered my parents asking about disco, I've bothered asking my grandma about pads in the 1950s. Most people like to reminisce or complain about things from their youth lol...

oh. And I almost forgot. I've used Cassell's Dictionary of Slang a few times. Usually just to check if a phrase that I want to use existed yet. But then in the course of my search I end up finding something I think is funny

[columboscreens]

argh columbo being so close to crying at the end of forgotten lady is TANTALIZING... do you know, does falk cry at all over the course of the series? or in any of his other stuff, for the record

god i know, right? he actually does shed one tiny, teary rivulet from his left eye in rip mrs columbo

nobody can see ur tearz in the rain~*~

i'm trying to remember another time he actually cries in columbo, but for the life of me i can't. there are times where he's beside himself, like the beginning of etude in black, where he begins to piece together the victim's personhood and mourns the "flattening" that inevitably occurs in the sterility of the police description:

and even moreso at the end of playback, where columbo realizes that beautiful sweetheart gena rowlands, sitting there crying in her wheelchair, is going to have to carry on alone after her abusive husband murdered her mother

and of course, as you mentioned, the ending of forgotten lady. there's nothing quite like watching our in-universe analogues for fred astaire and ginger rogers have their real-life movie moment in light of grace's diagnosis and watching columbo actively choking back tears.

lay down. try not to cry. cry a lot

in terms of peter falk's other stuff, i havent seen his entire filmography, but there are a few films of his where he gets very emotional:

a storm in summer

perilous times (could be tearing up from all that eyeliner)

and an episode of dr. kildare (which i highly recommend watching if you can find it; really solid acting work from peter)

(many thanks to @aswell84 for the gifs and help in pinpointing a teary eye!)

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: March 2024

……….FILM……….

Dune: Part Two (2024) Every piece of technology felt and looked so tangible. The baby worm too! Love the tactile nature of this whole production and I hope studios take note that CG can't be the only tool in your belt. So much bigger than I imagined and just enjoyed the whole thing.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) Ages surprisingly well and a script that lets the main quartet be both funny and layered.

……….TELEVISION……….

Columbo (1.01 to 1.03) Hey I'm starting Columbo! Love that each episode is feature-length and Columbo appears fully formed right out of the gate. The sets and costumes are all so glamorous and L.A. Very excited to keep going.

Succession (2.05 to 3.04) The Kendall play at the end of season 2 felt very much like the Kendall play at the end of season 1 and while I'm still a huge fan of this series, I just hope it's not the same going into season 3 and 4.

Delicious in Dungeon (Episode 1.09 to 1.13) Great adaptation that isn't just a straight recreation of the artwork in the manga. The more kinetic/frantic moments in the animation are a nice departure and while they don't pop up in each episode, now that I'm 13 eps deep I can appreciate how they're sprinkled throughout.

Love is Blind (Episode 6.02 to 6.13) It still amazes me that anyone goes on reality tv.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Twilight | ContraPoints by ContraPoints Yes I did watch a nearly 3-hour essay on Twilight, sexual expression, and all that comes with that. And you should too. VIDEO

Instagram fatigue and the rise of 'Resentment Reels' by Taylor Lorenz While I haven't noticed this specific phenomenon, I have noticed Instagram declining as an app (both as a user trying to see anything other than ads, and a creator trying to get my work seen in between those ads). It's a bummer. VIDEO

Saltburn: The Tumblr-ification of Cinema by Broey Deschanel Every since I saw Saltburn, I've been thinking about what wasn't quite sitting right with me. This unlocked a lot of what I couldn't describe and most of it stems from the writer/director's upper class upbringing. Saltburn isn't a "take down the rich" movie, it's a horror story from the perspective of a wealthy family. VIDEO

Why Is It So Hard To Cross The Street? (& What You Can Do To Help) by Strong Towns Accidents where drivers hit a pedestrian are going up in my area so this really hit home. And for those feeling like there's nothing you can do at ground level, consider taking their course (not a paid sponsorship I'm just in real support of community-lead initiatives). VIDEO

……….READING……….

Elric of Melniboné by Michael Moorcock (Complete) After picking up the last book in this series (which I've yet to read) I figured I'd start at the beginning. Love the fast pace pulpy action and I can see how this influenced the creation of D&D.

The Man in the Brown Suit by Agatha Christie (Complete) This one would lose me for stretches but the final quarter of the book is stronger. A lot less cozy and a lot more action than I was expecting but skimming other reviews it sounds like this was written during her more...adventure-focused era. Three books deep and I have to give Christie credit that each has been a completely different experience.

Adventures of a Japanese Business Man by Jose Domingo (Complete) Always love going back to this nearly wordless epic that follows the titular Japanese business man. I love the complexity of the earliest panels and wish that could carry throughout more of the book, but it's always such a treat to discover just where each new panel will go.

Delicious in Dungeon Volume 5 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Enjoying rereading this with shorter breaks between volumes as I certainly missed/forgot details on my first read. It's here that the story and tone shifts from light romp to a more dramatic and dangerous affair but it never loses its spot-on humour. Love those dryad pumpkins.

Ultimate Spider-Man HC Volume 11 by Brian Michael Bendis, Stuart Immonen, David Lafuente, and more (Complete) Going from some of my other comics back to this, I'm struck by just how wordy it can get. Now knowing where the story goes, it was a great idea to prime readers to the idea of Peter Parker dying even if it's not from this event.

……….AUDIO……….

Blank Check with Griffin & David (Podcast) Late to the game on this but really enjoying burning through their back catalog. Obviously started with their episode on Speed Racer as it's a near perfect film that you should watch right now.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Tuesday group just killed a mayor! So the aftermath of that is going to play out over the next couple of sessions. And the Mof1 crew is investigating the aftermath of their own district-wide catastrophe and it's all looking rather suspicious!

Spot It (Blue Orange Games) I can't recommend this game enough. It's so easy to learn, rounds last maybe 5 minutes, it plays well with small or large groups of any age, and all it requires is pattern recognition and quick reflexes. Every time I've played this someone says they're going to buy a copy for themselves.

And that's it. See you in April!

[pupkinpumpkin]

Finally got back to watching Columbo after a detour into The Good Place, Galavant, and the Dragon Age hype and I'm in the middle of watching Season 2 Episode 5 Requiem for a Falling Star and JESUS CHRIST

I know we all kinda know that Columbo is already aware of who did it, how, and why the second he comes on screen so he just needs to prove it, but I think this is the closest the show has ever gotten to straight up confirming that

The main antagonist Nora accidentally killed her secretary and is genuinely heartbroken about it but is trying to get Columbo to do her dirty work for her. He's said multiple times how much he and his wife admire her and her work as an actress. People talk about how much of a good person she is and how much she cared about her secretary

Right when he's about to leave, he doesn't go "oh one more thing" or "oh wait I just thought of something", he just looks her straight in the eyes, and says "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She answers "Yeah, I'm sure"

He gently squeezes her arm, looks away, says nothing, and leaves

THATS SO FUCKING GOOD

HE'S NOT MESSING WITH HER, HE'S NOT TRYING TO TRICK HER, HE'S BASICALLY LETTING HER KNOW THAT HE KNOWS AND IS GIVING HER AN OUT, A WAY TO JUST ADMIT TO THE CRIME AND TAKE HER IN QUIETLY AND PEACEFULLY INSTEAD OF OUTTING HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LIKE HE DOES WITH ALL OF THE OTHER ANTAGONISTS IN THE SHOW

ITS SO FUCKING GOOD

Edit: Ok look, I know they're talking about the documents that she stole some money, but LET ME HAVE THIS GODDAMMIT

[nerves-nebula]

I like ur TMNT au a lot I like how....... casual u put the abuse and crap they go through but also the fact that I actually take it seriously and with the care it deserves like how gender and sexuality exploration intertwine so much with these themes like....U make it real and I'm grateful for the way you write about it u are as serious as it's needed but u don't make it all depressive circle jerk it lightens it up y'know it makes one feel less alone I guess

thaNK YOUUUUU i'm happy it makes you feel less alone!!! its mostly because of how i talk & about my own trauma which is like "well that sucks and it happened and will effect me but i'm still a silly billy in day to day life, when i'm not extremely sad hah"

LIKEEE i've gotten critiques sometimes from professors or friends who find some of my work, i dunno, kind of extremely whip-lashy? like they get tonal whiplash or something and they think that's, like, a negative thing. or a jarring aspect that takes them out of the art.

when the point is that i don't really consider it a tonal whiplash at all. because when these things happen it really is like, an hour or less between laughing with my siblings and watching one of them slam the other ones head into the floor repeatedly, and then less than an hour later we're eating dinner together, and then a few hours after that we're watching columbo.

the speed at which shit hits the fan and the speed at which you kind of just have to go back to normal is kinda important to me because I think it's a crucial part of abusive dynamics that doesn't often get discussed.

when you think of someone being abused you think of all the bad things, you might consider their life revolving around that abuse, and sometimes it does (especially if it's a parent). but even then, you'll likely have a lot of downtime between bad things. you've got time to dance, and talk with your siblings, and all this other shit.

and yeah idk, it's not all bad and it won't be all bad forever, and you can make jokes about it !! andddd !! fsadfsd idk why I'm even rambling, i'm preaching to the choir here hah

[dibbs-n-scribbs]

It feels so bittersweet getting back into Gravity Falls again at an age where I can finally fully comprehend and appreciate the show in its entirety. I was 7 when it came out and found the episodes very fun and entertaining. Every now and then I would go back and revisit it, usually being late to whatever new sensation revolving around the show occurred (this was because I grew up with tv providers that would take away the cool cartoon channels for months-years so I could never watch original premiere dates like other viewers. I also didn't use social media till i was like 13, so youtube recommendations would remind me that I had just missed the Mcgucket author theory, Cipher Hunt, etc). Even going back when I was 15-16, it was fun to revisit episodes I would quote very often, but I'd still feel bad about not having watched every episode yet or even missing the series finally. I'm late to every single fandom ever (I mean I just got into Columbo like 30-50 years later), and even with the new resurgence in GF with the Book of Bill, I didn't here about it until weeks later, and I'm not even getting my book until late November. I've been rewatching some episodes, and I'm experiencing a feeling of nostalgia and grief - reliving the old times while feeling bad for not being able to experience it on time with other fans. Even with the resurgence, the saying "See you next summer" hurts to hear, as there may not be any other Gravity Falls content ever again, as Alex Hirsch might want to move onto other projects (also summer just officially ended too :'0). Being 12 years since the show began, I hope there will be more opportunities to share experiences with other GF fans, but even if there isn't, I'm very glad to be alive in a timeline where Gravity Falls exists as a show. It has created a new format of modern cartoons and will forever hold a big place in my heart. All this rambling to say that I love this show and hope to one day become a big part of it and other shows like this.

[bklynmusicnerd]

The rest of this week was so uneventful that I think I can just sum up the rest of my takes here:

- As an Ava fan, the best part about Ava being in legal mess is a visit from Dante and a reminder of the fun "cat and mouse" sexual tension they have. Ava starts doing her best Barbara Stanwyck impression, Dante stays firm in his Columbo ways (while begrudgingly having a soft spot for Ava), it's a fun time.

- As for Ava's mess, I am both increasingly convinced that they're setting up Nik to be the one who killed Austin, but also instantly frustrated by that idea because Nik would never do his own dirty work, so that would be him returning ooc before he's even popped back up. I expect Nik to mess with Ava for revenge purposes, I just think it should be in a way that makes sense for him.

- I'm actually Team "Chase should put a ring on it" because why the hell not? But I do think Brook Lynn deserves more romance than a potential proposal born from pressure from her family.

- I don't understand how Maxie is broke. Nothing about the explanation made sense with everything they've been telling us about Deception. So I'm just gonna have to chalk up Maxie somehow being a broke ceo to soap karma for all her dirty deeds in the 2000s.

- I also don't understand where Felicia's realization about Cody lying about not being Mac's son is coming from but whatever gets that stupid story moving.

- I don't care about the surrogacy story and I never take any Portia advice moments seriously so all I was focused on during the Portia and TJ convo is whether there's potential sloppy affair chem, and I am pleased to report there is. They need to make this happen so Portia's spiral (that should have gone down post-wedding tbh) can finally commence.

- The problem with Michael is that he's too damn old to still be this petulant. Everything he does, including this Nina blackmail story, comes across like a child throwing a temper tantrum, which makes him unconvincing as a husband and father.

- Nina letting a man child control her is not interesting, and the motivation of her being afraid to lose Sonny or Willow isn't working either because neither is worth this perpetual state of self-flagellation. Just let Nina's (minor) mess come out and get to whatever lame fallout there is.

- I was trying to figure out why the Davis girls bum me out so much these days and it finally hit me during the Sam and Kristina convo, they're just not fun anymore. All the fire and spunk that made the Davis girls fun to watch as a family unit has been replaced with dull convos about smoothies, boarding schools and surrogacy.

- This version of Drew lost any serious hope for audience investment when he gave up prioritizing re-bonding with his daughter. This random boarding school story just compounds that. The idea that Sam would or even should be torn over advocating for Scout because Drew's feelings might be hurt is garbage.

[nelson-riddle-me-this]

COLUMBO THOUGHTS:

s1e2 "Death Lends A Hand"

Okay so kinda big deal bc I'd skipped this episode in my dedicated series watch I started last year! Not on purpose, but the way I was watching e1 & 2 of season 1 were lumped into one big video file and so I forgot it existed. So really delightful to return to early Columbo and with an episode that was new to me!!

SPOILERS BELOW (for this episode and the other 2 Culp appearances)

As far as performances from series favorite Robert Culp this might be my fave of his! Like he's always exceptionally good at being mean and stern and being annoyed with Columbo, but something about the intensity of this feels different.

With how methodical and premeditated Culp's other two murders are, this one being a 'crime of passion'/manslaughter surprised me. Also THE SLOW-MO GLASS BREAKING AND HER FALLING!!! Like it's visually so cool. And very novel. The overlay shot where we see what Culp does after killing her, but as two different reflections in his glasses on an unmoving face - is very cool. It goes on a bit long, but it's very cool and I expect would be especially novel for audiences in 1971.

The score is by 4-time early Columbo composer Gil Mellé. It's got the spooky quasi-aleatoric spacey murder music thing, and a definite jazz flavor. Both me and the jazzer friend I watched it with were a bit thrown by the sudden capital juh-Jazz that starts when Culp gets into his car after killing this poor woman. Not that *J*azz is inappropriate for that moment, but something about that specific cue undermined the shock and weight of the sequence before. Maybe that's what they wanted, but I doubt it. I hear the blu-ray set that's out has versions of these episodes without music. It'd be a fun project to rescore some of these and fix some of those things that bother me.

Loved the detail of Culp knowing the name of one of his P.I.'s kids - just the sort of detail that helps a story feel 'lived-in'. I was shocked by Columbo playing up the astrology and palm-reading stuff LOL. The show depicts that sort of thing from time to time, but I don't remember Columbo himself hyping it outside of this. Of course it's part of the act to lower their guard, to make them think he's a fool, and as an excuse to get what he's really after (in this case examining the killer's hand and ring).

Ray Milland is fun to see, though part of me thinks he's not quite right in the role. He's not especially sympathetic somehow, which is maybe why they brought him back as a killer in "The Greenhouse Jungle". Some really great comic moments - Columbo complimenting Culp as being a 'man of purpose and intent' and immediately walking into a _closet_ is HILARIOUS. Lots of fun moments too with him snuffing out the golf instructor our victim had an affair with. I also thought it was hilarious that the golf instructor kinda lamely admits that he's not even really good at golf, pulling in women is the only thing he's decent at. Which like wouldn't be so bad if we felt he was a thoroughly charming person. But like it reads less as 'local rich women can't get enough of this studly golf instructor' and 'well I'm not really interested in the golf anyway, and at least he's not my husband - so I guess it's exciting enough. I can tell my bookclub friends I slept with my golf instructor and then I'll be cool.'...

The 'gotchya' is effective and satisfying. The mechanics of it are a bit paint-by-numbers. But this was so early in the run, it probably wouldn't have seemed so if I'd watched it in order. Still, the 'trick the killer into searching for evidence and catch them in the act of that' is worn. But also there's only so many ways for this all to play out!

Good episode, good early Columbo. Also shoutout to the victim cuz how she confronts Culp at his beach house is SOOO SATISFYING!!

[thecryptkeeperskeeper]

Get To Know Me!! Thank you @deeplyseriousgator for the tag!

Rules: Answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.

Favorite color(s): blues, greens, light purple, warm orange, black

Last Song: uh something from the album Kill 'Em All but it's on shuffle in my car so I forgor. I'll say The Four Horsemen bc it's my favorite hehe

Currently reading: A Room With a View by E. M. Forester! It's wild dude I love it

Currently watching: Rewatching X-Files my beloved currently, and also making my way through Gravity Falls (I watched it when it was on but not like WATCHED it watched it). OH also working through Columbo, I'm on the newer seasons where there's like two every couple years. It's fine but the earlier seasons are definitely my favorites.

Currently craving: I just had dinner so not really craving anything rn! Maybe some juice. Maybe some cranberry pomegranate. That'd be nice.

Coffee or Tea: I WISH I liked coffee. I really like the smell, can't stand the taste. I'm not a huge tea person either tho, like green tea with honey and lemon is a go to when I'm sick, and chamomile is ok, but if I'm drinking tea then it's usually cold and fruity, like, peach snapple? Could drink that,,,,every day. But I like it bc it doesn't taste like tea lmao

Hobby To Try: I really really want to get into DnD, I've been interested for YEARS but the idea of making a character made me nervous bc like, they had to be Perfect. Which I realize now is silly. Which is why I'm trying to put a group together with some friends, half of whom already play. So we'll see!

Current Au: Currently in a very hellcheer mindset and just got back from Universal so I've been Think Thoughts about Eddie as like, a character actor like Beetlejuice, and he flirts HARD with Chrissy who is visiting with her loser jock boyfriend or friends or something. Will it write it? Who knows. It's fun to think about tho. Also always thinking about my and @thoughtsofahouseplant's human Spike au that we have like half written the first season of lol

Tagging if you want to join! @thoughtsofahouseplant @faultyhammock @momsopposed2theoccult @silvermars @cunninghamchrissie @majicmarker @erythromanc3r @disgruntleddemon @captain-peroxid3

[humanology-101]

alright * what did you call us here for? it's not like you to insist we meet up in "meatspace" * *|

especially in sommmmeone else's hive. there are several crimmmmes are should be arresting you both for right nowwww.

(most of which you don't even know about.)

(now listen up. the reason i brought you all here is because the troll this hive belongs to might unwittingly hold the fate of both earth and alternia in his hands.)

...tagora's dorky kismmmmesis is a threat to both earth and alternia. howwww?

(his blog has been in contact with earth.)

wait * what? how? if he can contact them then the empire surely would've been able to track them by now * *|

(that's what i'm trying to figure out. it's not just that. mallek can play on minecraft's online servers but only while in galekh's hive. that shouldn't be possible. it's like he's connected to both earth's and alternia's internet simultaneously.)

wwwwhat's mmmminecraft?

(irrelevant. the point is, our universes may be colliding at this specific point and if we don't get to the bottom of it, our realities may both collapse.)

yeah, i'mmmm a lawwww student. i don't knowwww wwwwhat i'mmmm supposed to do about that.

seconded * this might be out of our league * *|

(the game's that galekh has access to all seem random. sporadic. but if we all play through them together and compare notes, we might be able to find a connecting thread that links the games together and we can form a plan of action from there.)

mmmmaybe the hummmmans wwwwill notice sommmmething wwwwe wwwwon't. is there any wwwway wwwwe can get in contact wwwwith themmmm wwwwithout galekh noticing?

you let me work on that * i think i know someone who can cover our steps if we use his blog * *|

(perfect, then we should get out of here before galekh gets-

*click*

-back.)

wwwwell, fuck.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HIVE!

scatter! *|

Tyzias, Boldir, and Polypa are now open for asks!

Polypa will begin her playthrough of Hitman on Jan 20th.

Tyzias will begin her playthrough of Ace Attorney of January 25th.

Boldir will begin watching Columbo on January 30th.

[thevagabondexpress]

tag game (cannot for the life of me remember its name)

@duckprintspress y'all tagged me in this a little bit ago but it took me a minute to get to it. (i love tag games like this i just do them super slow.) here we are now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Nothing really? I mean, Columbo I guess? I don't watch a lot of television and when I do it's usually s l o w l y.

CURRENTLY READING: I'm currently rereading Foz Meadows's A Strange and Stubborn Endurance. I find I often prefer rereading to first-reading a book almost because once I know the basic shape of a story I can go back and pay attention to all the little details and plot beats and foreshadowing and such that I didn't catch the first time.

FAVORITE MOVIES AND SHOWS SO FAR THIS YEAR: Dead Boy Detectives, obviously. Hm. Not sure what else there is that I can remember. I'm going to say Columbo even though it's not a this-year release because this is the year I started watching it.

FAVORITE BOOKS SO FAR THIS YEAR: I read a lot this year. I'm going to say VE Schwab's Shades of Magic and KJ Charles's A Charm of Magpies and Sins of the Cities series(es). I read a lot this year so far but those are the ones that stick out to me. I'm currently working through Tavia Lark's Perilous Courts and those are also becoming one of my favorites. They're trashy and smutty in a really good way that perfectly scratches the Writing Style Itch in my brain.