#I'm feeling so numb | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

angryoilslick · 2 years ago

Text

.

#I haven't felt so small in so long #Just absolute dirt #A waste of space #Surrounded by people who love me and it's not enough #How selfish of me #I'm feeling so numb #Still no professional help #I'm on a waiting list #But I don't know if I can wait any longer #will delete soon

0 notes

ryanthel0ser · 2 years ago

Text

Moodboard for post Spider Verse

#i'm gonna be insane for the next year over that #it was so good but i feel numb now how do i go on #i broke for a solid hour and all i did was scream and go “what” “heh” “i dont” “what”#spiderman #spider man across the spider verse #spider verse #across the spiderverse #miles morales #spiderverse

8K notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago

Text

every so often, varric will write a black fox story. not anything fancy or for publication or anything, just for fun and because he knows hawke has a soft spot for them. ("an intrepid hero getting into and out of all kinds of trouble and the merry band of misfits following inseparably in his wake? can't imagine why".) some of them are experimental, some of them are straightforward retellings; they're generally pretty short and quick to do, so he allows himself to play around with form and genre and language more than he does in his professional work. stretching over the span of almost twenty years as they do, they contain some of his favourite pieces of his own writing, and some of the most '...was I huffing lyrium fumes or drunk or both for this one, hawke? what the actual hell is this' pieces. hawke keeps every single one of them. varric speculates that this is either because they're just that sentimental, or possibly that it's for future blackmailing purposes. he usually has one ready for their birthday. they have so much blackmail material on him anyway by this point, he figures, what's one more piece of ammunition going to do one way or the other.

varric finishes one of these black fox tales a couple of nights before he brings rook with him to minrathous — the last one. it's about the very last black fox story, the one where the black fox and his friends all disappear together into the depths of arlathan forest, where those in the know say you can find them to this very day, if you know where to look, or if you ever find yourself in trouble and in need of a helping hand. they'll turn up to aid a traveller in need, and disappear back between the shaded trees again once the day is saved, squabbling all the way, seeking treasures and unlikely quests yet unfound and unimagined.

they say on some days, you can hear them as laughter and friendly bickering on the wind from a couple of clearings over. it's not the end, it's just other adventures, some other place. that's the thing about stories. they're funny that way.

(once he wrote a book for his mother on her deathbed and read it to her through the comfortless and drawn-out hours of the troubled nights, and he burned the book the day she died and never spoke of it again.)

after he finishes the manuscript, he sits with it for a long time in the quiet and the candlelight before he wraps it up properly and sends it off back home to kirkwall. he attaches a note -- a story, to the best of all my stories, the one I'd tell forever if I could. take care of each other while I'm gone. first one to arrive saves seats at the bar, right? happy birthday, and send all my lack of love to the merchant's guild, as always. —Varric

he sends that to hawke. just in case. and then he gets up and he goes to find rook — it's time to get going.

#I've had this written out for weeks but I wanted to post it when I actually got to this point in the story. so. here we are.#they sent him off with metatextual flair and deep thematic implications. I think that's what he would have wanted #am I listening to 'I'm not calling you a liar' in the background right now? I'll never tell #dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #varric tethras #hawke #honestly the moment I realized it would not be the real varric I knew everything would be okay for me specifically.#of course he isn't talking about hawke like he would be talking about hawke. solas doesn't know or care about hawke like varric does #(and thus his downfall in my particular playthrough right now lmao. he could have tried ig but I think he knows he'd get it wrong)#anyway. that's hawke and varric. To Me #not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (best and most beloved of all my stories the one my soul would tell)#varric obviously knew he was probably not getting out of this one so i imagine he'd be sneakily settling his affairs along the way #and when rook hears the banter between emmrich and lucanis where lucanis is like 'hey nope bad luck to settle your affairs before a job'#they have a moment where they just stand there staring into the air for a while numb with yet another fucking revelation #('I'm starting to feel like I could do without many more of those honestly')

55 notes · View notes

sainz100 · 3 months ago

Text

Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x

#max verstappen #daniel ricciardo #autumn posts #filing under things that are just new to me #escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs #thinking of everyone today #I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that #I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too #and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr #I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope #but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office #but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment #have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him #maxiel hours in my heart only always

111 notes · View notes

kaddyssammlung · 1 year ago

Text

#I'm going to write a few things here...yes in here actually #I feel so weird...I'm very dissociated at the moment...I can't feel my hands..they are damn numb but also in general just so far gone today #that is all I guess...now back to our strange dancing ballerina XD #sleep token #sleep token worship

183 notes · View notes

mirensiart · 4 months ago

Note

Youve got MY brain churning now >:D

With regards to the lu x kiznaiver au, if someone is in so much pain that they pass out, do the remaining Links get an instant reprieve? The panic that would seep thru the chain if so- especially the first time it happenssss oohohoho

Im also watching the anime with a friend next week, ty for the unintentional recommendation 😂

It's such a fun concept, the brainrot is real lol!

And ooh, I would think so! Like when u pass out cause of pain, it's because the brain wants to shield u of it, so I would assume that if one of them passes out the rest would stop feeling that link's pain 🤔

The potential hurt/comfort though... you're cooking!

I actually want to rewatch the anime now too! I've watched it twice, but the last time I did was in 2017 so it's been A While lol

It's a short but fun watch, i liked the concept a lot, and I believe there's so many ways to explore it outside of what the anime did !!

I hope u enjoy it! I do remember the cast being very lovable hehe

#i do remember it having like some pretty dumb sex jokes #like I'm super sure those aged like milk lol #just felt the need to warn u just in case!#the main character is like blorbo material so good his whole thing is that he is numb and doesn’t feel pain #so the pain sharing experiment is the first time he feels stuff #and it's good very good #also a lot of whump #oh and love triangles #idk if u enjoy those but this anime has A LOT lmao i personally didn’t find it annoying but i know people do #ANYWAY enough yapping #sorry lol #lu pain sharing au #miry's ask box

34 notes · View notes

xoxoemynn · 8 months ago

Text

I know it's been months, but there are still some times I see a reference to OFMD's cancellation in news articles and I'm hit with the feeling of "what?! no! how could that be?" all over again.

Just seeing the words "Our Flag Means Death's cancellation" takes me out at the knees.

Those words weren't supposed to be typed.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

It still doesn't feel real.

Get me out of this gravy basket.

#emynn.op #ofmd #idk with all that's come out since the cancellation I'm not surprised #but then I think back to October/November/December #when we were SO certain #ALL the signs were there #sometimes I feel numb to it but times like tonight #just a sudden deeply unpleasant jolt #I hate it

61 notes · View notes

lloydkin-kinlloyd · 4 days ago

Text

Is this a safe space to say I don't like dragon's rising? Like I watched the first couple of episodes and wasn't too invested in it. Like I see the hype and I think there's some things I like about the series (even though I haven't watched it up to these points) like lloyd having panic attacks, another tournament, and the jaya stuff but the things with the new characters isn't interesting me.

Like they aren't bad and work well for the series I just don't vibe with the new energy of the show.

Like seeing lloyd being called sensei kinda pisses me off. Like it works for his character I just don't care for it.

Also I feel like lloyds relationship with his students also frustrates me cause I don't like seeing lloyd fumble that bad at being a good mentor and I don't like that people see him as a dad to his students cause not everything has to be familial and they can just be teacher student and that's it. (No hate if you make a parental figure I just don't vibe with it)

#My brain- “well mabye you just don't like it cause it's a change from what you know and more specifically a change for lloyds character and-#since you connect with him a lot seeing him change while your currently going through your own difficult changes is triggering you and-#making it hard to use ninjago as an escape.“#Me- “nuh uh”#VENT FROM HERE ON OUT-#Nah because be fr how am I supposed to tell someone with a straight face i can't watch ninjago cause I'm not in a good place mentally to #Like you know your mentally unwell when ninjago of all things is triggering you.#I'm so mentally unstable rn I'm asking for higher doses of my meds to see if it with numb me out and I won't have to deal with this back #and forth on my emotions #Mabye ill just be numb and won't feel anything then I can actually talk about my issues to my therapist until I'm all fixed up and then I-#can lessen my meds so i can start feeling things again after everything's ok.#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lego #vent #vent blog

19 notes · View notes

shannonsketches · 10 months ago

Text

he's so important to me

#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish #100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor #so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn #my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!!#Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed #god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding #I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE #and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD #THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS.#Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!!#SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it #and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This #once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon #and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow???#been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it #anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla #bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like #mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)#dbtag

75 notes · View notes

thedreadvampy · 17 hours ago

Text

lmao it is undeniably true that I am Depressi Spaghetti but you know. fuck it we continue.

#red said #i am hoping!!!! that this is January Brain speaking #it FEELS as if I've been in an extended depressive episode since like. may or June #but depression is a Filthy Fucking Liar so that may or may not be true #either way it's very tedious. there is no reason for this. i am very loved and cared for. i am doing well. it is just that my brain is soup #SAD AND SELF-LOATHING SOUP #we cannot resist the Soup we can only swim on through #idk it is like. i feel as if i don't exist beyond work i feel like I'm losing myself i feel like I'm very alone #this all FEELS very true even though actually i have many passions i do many things and i am booked to the gills with social engagements #so you know. what's it all about? The Soup. possibly also The Dark.#possibly also also that many people i care about are going through really rough times and I'm kinda. not?#and that's WEIRD both that I'm not and that I've developed like a level of boundaries where people i live going through it #doesn't mean I'm in a constant state of panic.#and slash or. where I'm too depressi spaghetti to have the energy to be there for them #i don't THINK it's that. that's never been a thing for me before really.#but idk i think it's like when i reach the end of my to do list i panic that I've forgotten something vital #i am not panicking and that makes me feel. strange and empty and immobile.#even though in actuality I'm in constant motion like. barely a free moment. but i FEEL static i FEEL inactive #because I'm not in 24/7 crisis mode #and then bc i feel inactive i don't understand why I'm so tired. I'm so tired because I'm ALWAYS DOING THINGS.#but also i do feel kind of. numb. everything is just running past me. except sometimes i feel spasms of grief cause like #I've ended or majorly changed a lot of relationships this past year #but yeah i think the numbness is PROBABLY the January of it all and will PROBABLY lift in March/April #and if it doesn't. well. fuck it. we continue. i am yet young.

16 notes · View notes

itsyouch · 9 months ago

Text

no because I regret EVEN saying that I hate tex as a joke. This scene hurt man....

65 notes · View notes

worthless-misery · 5 months ago

Text

Dear diary...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry I always feel so hopeless...

I'm sorry I think ending myself is the only way out...

I'm sorry I don't take care of myself...

I'm sorry I don't study or work hard enough...

I'm sorry I'm so bad with money...

I'm sorry I sleep so much...

I'm sorry I don't go to therapy...

I'm sorry I dissociate so much...

I'm sorry I always want to relapse...

I'm sorry I don't try hard enough...

I'm sorry I want to give up...

I'm so sorry... You deserve so much better than me...

28 notes · View notes

okaydays22 · 6 months ago

Text

#i'm in a very tough spot mentally #idk what to do #anxiety is driving me nuts #and at the same time i feel completely numb #like my soul is curled into a tiny ball hidden somewhere inside my chest #i'm so tired #so so tired #why am i like this #i feel so pathetic and miserable #weird web #weirdcore #oddcore #strangecore #orange #abstract art #pics that make you go hmm #2000s internet #2000s web

20 notes · View notes

homefryboy · 9 months ago

Note

Thanks for completely ruining the ending of TADC episode 2 for me./lighthearted

During that entire scene all I could think of was your comic and I was mumbling “He existed.”

IKR I was mumbling too ! i ruined an emotional sceeeEene X0 I love/hate being validated hA

like I said before, I am so smrt

#ask #tadc spoilers #tbf I can't give myself so much credit i'm sure i wasn't the only person w/ that idea #i don't engage w/ fandom much so how would i know #also in hindsight i feel a lil bad making them so callous to kaufmo i rly thought they didn't give a rat's ass abt him #ig they're just kinda numb to abstraction #but hey i did it for the lolz

42 notes · View notes

marclef · 11 months ago

Text

surgery update time fellas, i finally got my drains taken out and my binders/gauze stuff and

holy fucking shit

MY CHEST MAY BE SCARRED TO HELL AND SORE AND HEALING BUT OH MY GOD IT'S SO DIFFERENT SEEING IT THIS FLAT

I SPENT HALF THE DAMN CHECKUP JUST STARING AT MYSELF THINKING HOW WEIRD IT FELT

i still have to wear at least one binder for a bit for healing but, getting the bigger one off was such a damn relief though, legitimately felt so nice not being squeezed like that any more

thanks to everyone who's had such nice things to say too, i love y'all very much and it means so much to me 🥺❤❤❤❤❤

#hello another long rambling post but AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH I'M FREE I CAN TAKE A GODDAMN SHOWER AFTER A WEEK #I CAN SLEEP IN MY BED TONIGHT!!!! MY BED!!!!!!!! I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE GODDAMN RECLINER ANY MORE #I'M SO MUCH MORE FREE NOW AND IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THERE'S A LOT MORE STILL COMING #my chest is also like. weird and numb. i mean it's probably gonna be like that 'til the scars heal more but. oouuuooghhhhgh it's different #my gay trans ass staring at my scarred marker-covered bruised chest though like 👁👁

30 notes · View notes

good-to-drive · 9 months ago

Text

I totally agree with the general consensus that Ringo provided a lot of emotional support and coolheadedness to the other beatles to the point where they'd have probably killed each other without him but I do also wonder sometimes how much of that is being supernaturally patient and easygoing and how much of it is Ringo just having a tumultuous and isolated childhood where he was never taught to recognize and assert his own emotional needs so he became a blank slate on which others could process their emotions

(And tbh I also wonder how an inability to access or assert his feelings may have contributed to his tendency to process pain by numbing himself and the pretty shitty way he treated women)

28 notes · View notes