#I'm extremely unbelievably in love with my wife

[finneroo]

.

[jewishvitya]

When this says Israelis don't empathize with Palestinians. A warning for racism and heavy dehumanization.

And I'm going to reiterate the reminder that I grew up in the settlements in the West Bank, I lived the most extreme version of everything.

I remember being a kid and being taught that Palestinians don't care about their children. I was taught they see their children as tools of war. A Palestinian child was a weapon meant to kill me. There were political cartoons of Palestinian mothers strapping suicide bombing belts to their children.

And so when we saw a video of a Palestinian parent grieving the death of a child, it was claimed to be a performance. The language was things like "look at how they're milking it." I was taught not to believe their grief. How far do you have to dehumanize a person, to think a parent's grief over their child isn't genuine.

When I was a teenager on my first job at a bakery, I had a Palestinian coworker. He showed me pictures of his wife and his son, and I was confronted with the fact that he was a proud and loving father to a healthy and happy toddler.

He was very kind. I was awful at paying attention to the time, but he noticed when I was working for too long. He'd make me a sandwich and tell me to take a break. He often sat with me and we'd talk. Compare kosher laws with halal, chat about similarities and differences. He taught me how to check grain correctly before cooking it.

I told my family members about him. They told me he's trying to seduce me, to steal me away, and urged me to be careful. "They can never really be your friends."

When I got married, I told him "next time you see me, I'll be wearing a headscarf" (because for Jewish religious women it's usually a married thing) and he was so unbelievably happy for me. We talked about how regal headscarves look. It's how I always felt wearing them.

I told my family members. They kinda rolled their eyes and said "maybe he's one of the good ones."

The mentality is כבדהו וחשדהו. "respect them, and suspect them." I don't see respect, but I do see how every Palestinian is treated as untrustworthy. And it's so pervasive that my child was told this by a teacher.

[ashleyfableblack]

Chrysalis purred, looking up to Twilight from the dining hall floor. She lay on her shell in a come-hither pose. Her lips curled behind her fangs into a coy, playful smile. "And just what do you think you're doing, my little pony?" Queen Twilight chuckled, eyes narrowed, wringing her hooves with mischievous menace. "Opening my Hearthswarming present, of course."

A shiver of excitement buzzed through the chitinous plates of Chrysalis's body. "And what makes you think that you have the slightest notion of where I'm keeping your present?" Magenta light snaked from Twilight's horn and curled around the changeling queen's limbs. Chrysalis's snake eyes went wide as the coils gripped her with an alicorn's strength. "Because you always keep my present in the same place." Chrysalis gasped in excitement as the coils of magic gripping her extremities pried and pulled, stretching her out like the petals of a blossoming flower. Her normally commanding voice quavered as her pulse quickened. "But Lilac-" she teased, batting her eyelashes "it's Hearthswarming... and we aren't even beneath the mistletoe..." She looked to the rafters above them and paused at a surprisingly strange sight. Tied securely to the festive garlands circling the room was a familiar artifact of Equestrian History. Her eyes narrowed and her fanged smile took on a inquisitive flavor as she pondered the gleaming silvery curiosity. "We're beneath... the platinum horseshoe of Setzer Gabynako...?" The priceless treasure had belonged to the most famous gambler of pre-tribal pony history. History described him as something between Daring-do and the Flim-Flam brothers, a dashing rogue of legendary exploits and prowess in all his lurid endeavors. The horseshoe had been securely locked away in the royal museum. When did Twilight sneak it out? How? Had she prepared it in place all for this most intimate moment between them? Twilight regarded the ancient artifact. The azure chrome token reflected brilliantly like a diamond. "Mnhmmm." She returned her gaze to Chrysalis's prone, splayed form. Her shallow, deliberate wingbeats slowed, lowering her closer to her wife like a spider approaching her ensnared victim. The magical bindings flexed like corded steel. Her smile had become a leering smirk worthy of Applejack at her most cider-driven passion. "But don't we need mistletoe for Hearthswarming, my love?" Chrysalis pleaded. Twilight drew close. The puffed up crest of her chest-fluff glided across the chitin of Chrysalis's barrel. Twilight purred as she nuzzled around the pitmarks of Chrysalis's long, serpentine neck. "We would only need mistletoe if I wanted to kiss you." She softly touched her lips to the wound-like marks. "But I want... to get lucky." Chrysalis erupted in the strangest horny laughter of all her ancient existence. That was either the worst wordplay she'd heard in ages or the most unbelievably clever and erotic wordplay she had heard in an eternity. She almost voiced her question when she suddenly had to bite her lip to silence a moan as Twilight chuckled and began gnawing at the nape of her neck. A nearby fire crackled with dozens of rows of tiny stocking-socks framing it, all filled to the brim with candies and treats. The hive mind was at rest, their drones slumbering peacefully. Their larvae were all nestled, snug in their creche. Dozens of lovingly decorated boxes awaited their changeling children beneath several nearby trees. The mothers' work was done. This was the time for lovers. And the lovers happily did as lovers do.

[zilabee]

“He was my best friend,” says Ringo softly. “Yeah. I loved Harry.”

rolling stone interview

“Ringo and I spent a thousand hours laughing,” Nilsson said.

ringo: with a little help, by michael seth starr

Mark Hudson: “I think that Harry's friendship with John was also very very close, but I - I don't think it was as intimate as his relationship with Ringo Starr.”

Harry Nilsson: “I had a relationship with John - we were roommates a couple of times you know, short times […] But uh, Ringo and I are the, Ringo and I are friends. It's funny I always thought I would be closer to John but then over the years Ringo and I ended up being pals.”

Michael Seth Starr: Harry, born in Brooklyn, New York, in June 1941, was less than a year younger  than Ringo. They were both three years old when their fathers (Richard and Edward,  respectively) abandoned their families, never to return.  They both enjoyed alcohol and practical jokes and were garrulous in nature, at  least early in their relationship. Neither man had completed any semblance of an education. Ringo left school at the age of fifteen; Nilsson, who was extremely  bright, dropped out of school in the ninth grade. 

Ringo Starr: “I think I could always call Harry, night and day, and he would come and save me. I'm very lucky with friends like that.”

Chris O'Dell: “They became really, really close friends, and a lot of it was based on how much  alike they were. They shared a sense of humour. You can never  underestimate Ringo’s sense of humour. It’s there, it’s a huge part of who he is.  Harry was also like that. [...] They were like brothers.”

Harry Nilsson: “I saw Ringo in an interview once looking very nervous saying “Well I'm probably the best rock and roll drummer in the world” and the truth is he is. But he looked very scared saying it. I could see him being scared about it, not scared, but not comfortable about it. And I wanted to be right there and say “Yes! You are! It's okay! You are the best rock and roll drummer in the world ever. That's it. Period, the end.”

Doug Hoefer (Harry's Cousin): “They would fight about shit  and hang up on each other. Then time would go by and one of them would call the  other back and they would pick up where they’d left off. I’m not really sure exactly how they pissed each other off, but they would . . . because Harry had a very strong personality as well.” 

Stephanie La Motta: “He said, ‘I’m Harry’ and he goes searching all over the  place - and I’m screaming for Ringo - who comes out and hugs Harry, because he  loved Harry. They had a special bond. It was unbelievable this bond I saw between  them. He loved Harry as much as Harry loved him.”  (she was screaming because Harry was barging into their hotel room and she had no idea who he was)

Ringo Starr: “Harry’s no longer with us. He’s been gone 20 years now. I still miss him.”

Music played this way All I need is my imagination Take me far away Where I can be with everyone who loves me

Harry's Song, by Ringo, 2008

There's no more oyster bar There's no more Ringo Starr There's no one left to love but you and me

UCLA, by Harry Nilsson

Ringo paid for Harry to have cosmetic dentistry to straighten his front teeth. [...] Some of Nilsson's closest friends believed that self-consciousness about his crooked teeth had been a significant factor in his decision not to appear in live concerts. Samantha Juste, for example, said: "He didn't have great teeth. I remember when he had his teeth fixed, it did a lot for him. In the early days he didn't smile really. Those teeth made a big difference to him, and to his confidence."

- from "Nilsson, The Life of a Singer Songwriter" by Alyn Shipton

Most commentators have focused on "You're Breakin' My Heart" as the one song that expressed Nilsson's emotional torment about [his wife's] departure. However, there is another interpretation, which was that it represented his first quarrel with Ringo Starr. There are coded references to Starr and their social life together, notably in the lines, "You won't boogaloo - Run down to Tramps - Have a dance or two". The reference to the Beatles' Drive My Car [You won't drive my car, might be a star] is another clue to this possible interpretation.

- again from "Nilsson, The Life of a Singer Songwriter"

For reasons of his own, Ringo did not attend Harry’s funeral, which was held on  January 17, a day that was rocked by aftershocks from an earthquake in nearby  Northridge. He claimed to be too grief-stricken, and Barbara went in his place.

- from Ringo: With A Little Help, by Michael Seth Starr

"We tried every which way to get Ringo to talk on camera. What came back to us each time was that there are three people he just does not feel comfortable talking about in person: John Lennon, George Harrison and Harry Nilsson. It’s just too emotional for him and I totally respect his feelings on the matter. Ringo was, however, tremendously supportive of the film including providing us with photos and making it possible to use Son of Drac, a film that Ringo and Harry made in the early 1970s but has been locked away in a London vault since 1974. At the end of the day, we were happy to have his support and understood the decision he made. Sometime later we had heard that he saw the film and liked it but thought some things were missing from the story. And I said to myself, “Yeah, Ringo, you were missing…” (laughs).

- John Scheinfeld, about making 'Who is Harry Nilsson..?'

(I have found absolutely no evidence that ringo starr knitted this)

[acacia-may]

Acacia, since you’re offering, is it okay that I ask for your thoughts on Josele x the Fausts? 🥺👉👈

I’d be fascinated to hear your thoughts.

Of course, Erika! I was actually really hoping you would ask me because, as I am sure you know, I am just obsessed with Nacsele. Sorry Morgen. I love him. How could I not? He’s a total sweetheart, and him and Josele were very cute, but I am unapologetically Team Nacht all the way! I adore their deep friendship and the quick wit & banter that they share, but it's really the angst of that pairing that just elevates it for me. I mean they support each other through their trauma and grief, and then, fall in love?! Even when they believe they're too broken to ever be loved and to be happy again, they show each other that they can be. 😭 I'm going to sob. It's beautiful and is more compelling to me than I have the words to express.

I'm sure it's no secret that I am not much of a romantic, but what you may not know about me is that I do actually have some favorite love stories one of which is a movie called "Return to Me" which is about a man, Bob, who loses his wife in a tragic accident and swears off love forever, but he eventually finds healing and falls in love with the wonderful woman whose life was saved by receiving his deceased wife's heart in a heart transplant. (This is literally all established in the first 5 minutes of the movie so it’s not a spoiler, I promise). The heroine of this film, Grace, is just so incredibly sensitive to his loss and so supportive of him, and one of the main conflicts of the movie is that she cares about him so much that she is heartbroken to learn that even though this transplant saved her life, it caused him so much pain and suffering. The other conflict, of course, is Bob (the main man) coming to realize that even though he truly loved his wife and is always going to miss her, that doesn't mean that he can't love Grace just as much. It's real. It's beautiful, and it's so sincere that it just pulls at my heartstrings every single time. Needless to say, I have an extremely intense passion for stories about finding love after unbelievable tragedy and loss, and Nacht x Josele fit that category so well so of course I'm going to eat that up.

This pairing was just made for me to love. I mean, it also has a complicated brother relationship and they're childhood friends to lovers. Gah! It just has everything. Nacsele is just everything!

I don't think I'm even making any sense right now, but it's so, so good. I find myself just randomly thinking about them like I would with any canon character x canon character ship. I guess that just means they're canon to me. 😁

[altschmerzes]

Hey! im ace and aro and was wondering if you could talk about what being engaged and getting married means and looks like to you as an aro person? I feel like so few people talk about it that i have no real frame of reference. it’s really cool that you’re happy and living authentically doing all these things and i guess yeah i just wanted to hear more about that if you felt like sharing! have a great day <3

yeah!!! i'm happy to talk abt that!! it's definitely nothing i've seen any kind of like..... broader awareness of, or people talking about, and i probably would've been like. more optimistic about my future if it had been something i'd seen, i think. this got a little long so i'm throwing it under a cut but here it is!! a bit of an explanation of like. How My Engagement/Marriage Works And How That Came To Be. (signed off on by my fiance, for the record - i didn't want to write out an answer to this without checking with them, but they're totally fine with it!)

i think it's probably wildly confusing to some people to see me post and talk abt being aro A Lot (it's one of the most prominent aspects of my online personality i think sdlfjs) including being like. incredibly romance repulsed, and then mention being engaged or having a fiance or referencing 'my wife' (though we're not married yet it is one of my Favourite jokes to make because 1. i think it's very funny, and 2. i just like saying it). people contain multitudes etc etc but i do wonder if people are confused by that sldfjs. my engagement is like... honestly everything i'd ever have hoped for if i'd asked myself at any point in the years since i started identifying as aromantic what my ideal life would include.

i've always had a hard time being alone and i wanted the intimacy and mutual support and just. ability to Do Life with someone that a relationship involved, while also being, as i've said, intensely romance repulsed and not really open to sex either. really just sort of figured that wasn't going to happen for me. the odds of not only meeting an aroace person (the only sort of person i thought might have an interest in the same sort of relationship i wanted and was comfortable with) irl never mind being compatible with them personally and in our priorities just seemed incredibly slim. which like... made me sad sometimes. i'd always sort of daydreamed about getting married which is wild for someone who is as romance repulsed as i am, which i know i keep saying but it really is an incredibly intense feeling for me (i tried dating once in high school and had several panic attacks before breaking it off after our third extremely mild fourteen/fifteen year old date, and often feel physically ill trying to read about fictional romance/watch it on tv). but y'know. sometimes we just don't get what we want in life, and i was fine with the idea of having my friends and my synagogue community and like. hoping my friends wouldn't all leave me behind alone as they all got into relationships.

what ended up happening is obviously not that. i'm really truly unbelievably thrilled every day to wake up and remember what i've got to look forward to every day. my engagement is entirely platonic, and it's exactly what both of us want and are just. beyond happy with and excited for. my fiance is a lesbian, actually, and has been incredibly good and patient with reassuring me that the relationship we have, exactly as it is, is what they want too, that they don't feel like i'm depriving them of anything. we love each other very much, and we're building the life together that we want, in exactly the way that we want.

and that's how it happened, really. we talked about what we wanted. i got engaged at the end of what i've referred to as a 'several hour long conversation' which is the truth sdlkfs. a close friend and i both had sort of 'evaluating the next couple years of our lives and how we wanted pivotal parts of our futures to go' moments about the same time, and it came up i think mostly as a half-serious suggestion that we could get married. for logistical reasons, it made sense for us. and then we started talking about what that might look like - what we wanted, from our lives and our futures, and our hypothetical marriage. and the more we talked about it, the more serious it got, the more real it got, and the more we both i think realized we wanted the same thing. the same life, the same way, together.

we talked about a whole lot in that first couple of days. one of the very first things we talked about actually was kids - did we want them? what was important to us about having and raising children (names, religion, etc)? then it was stuff like did we have strong feelings about where we lived. did we want our own rooms in our home, did we want to wear rings (i love my engagement ring. it makes me smile every time i notice it on my hand), what did we want to tell our friends. we had conversations about whether and how we wanted a wedding. what sort of physical intimacy we were comfortable with, what sort we might want (really glad we did that, and that we were honest and open about that - nothing better, it turns out, than Cuddling Your Wife). what sort of affection we were comfortable with around other people.

our relationship, our life, is what we want it to be. exactly what we want it to be. what makes us happy. we've built it from a vast and beautiful array of choices and options, adding the things we want and leaving the things we don't. it's an approach i would highly recommend to everyone, honestly - talking about what you want out of your relationship, what you want to do and how you want to be with someone rather than just picking which of a short list of proscribed 'types of relationship' you want to have. it leaves a lot more room for nuance and what will actually make you happy than much less contextually nuanced things like assuming your definition of 'dating' will match the other person's, or that the kind of relationship you want just isn't possible. setting up that kind of foundation in communication and honesty and being clear about our expectations and needs has fostered a relationship where i feel respected and valued and heard - and i'm reasonably certain (and i hope!) that they feel the same.

we travelled to my birthplace so they could be introduced to my family and my childhood best friend. it's always both surprising and amusing to me every time someone assumes i'm gay (gender is complicated but we both tend to read as women) - this happened a lot there, and as i've told my extended family and other more casual friends about my engagement. this doesn't bother me at all (i'm not out to almost anyone irl as aromantic, and it's a reasonable conclusion to reach given what information they have) but it's extremely funny when i also get to find out which of my family members/people i knew in middle school always sort of wondered if i was gay but never asked sldkjs. turns out the answer is 'a lot'.

re: assumptions, for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that does lead to some like... i can't speak for them but it gets a little weird for me sometimes, i'm not gonna lie. it feels a little like getting misgendered, having people assume that i'm in a romantic relationship. i say that as a nonbinary person who's mostly just. chill about not being out about that irl. that's the best descriptor i have to help people understand what might be a hard thing to understand. but it doesn't bug me enough to want to put myself - or my fiance - through what correcting that assumption would involve. i mostly don't blame anyone for it - it's extremely reasonable to assume someone who is engaged is in a romantic relationship with the person they're engaged to - except for when friends who know i'm aromantic and somehow think this means that's... changed, somehow? or jump to assuming i'm in a romantic relationship before considering i might not be in one and still be engaged anyway. so it's kind of weird, and feels a little bad, but not enough to really do anything about it except hope the world changes a bit and stops making assumptions about other people's relationships at some point.

that's really the only downside, hand to gd. that and worrying that there might be consequences, legally, if the wrong person finds out we're married but Not Like That. everything else is honestly amazing. it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so unbelievably happy. i never thought i'd ever get to be this happy, or have a future this bright and warm and full of love to look forward to. having spent a lot of my life for various reasons thinking i just wouldn't have a future at all, it's like every day is a really incredible dream, except i'm never going to have to wake up.

the moral of the story i guess, if you've made it this far in this novel of an answer, anon, which i wouldn't bet on, because it's so much longer than i planned on it being (SORRY SDLKFJS i guess this is more than just a 'writing fic' problem for me now XD), is that your relationships are what you make them. assuming that what you want isn't possible, or that nobody could possibly want the same thing, is a great way to cheat yourself out of something wonderful. nobody has to have any kind of relationship, obviously, if they don't want one, but i think there are a lot of people - aromantic and not! though i do think this probably impacts aro people. more. - who could benefit from the idea that there are more options out there than just like... 1. romantic relationship constructed in a specific way and following a specific path, and 2. being alone.

[chahnniesroom]

Even if the Hanahaki fic won't follow the usual guideline most fics in with AU do, I'll still enjoy it. I literally enjoy all your works, or at least the ones you have posted here. For example, in 'From this day forward' I adored the fun dynamic you've set up between the pair, a certain playfulness never leaving it, no matter how sweet things became. Or in 'For better, for worse', how both the Reader and Minho were held responsible for their poor relationship, and how despite everything, Minho realised that he still cared for his wife. Don't let me mention 'For richer, for poorer', because that one just left me with glistening eyes. I felt for the Reader, as someone who most of the time makes things for others as gifts. It was all just thought out well and portrayed even better on your part, I loved it. And 'In sickness and in health'? It was just the fluff I needed after all that angst, Seungmin's soft side shining brightly that he likes to hide most of the time. (I won't even mention 'Tenderness' here, as I already rambled about it on my blog enough, haha.)

What I'm trying to say is that you portray emotions very well in your stories, captivating your audience. I'm sorry for this impromptu essay, I hope it won't intimidate or overwhelm you. I just want you to see the beauty that you create and that there are people who absolutely adore them, no matter how active or inactive you are here :)

-that one anon (who could be called 🦦 anon, if that is alright with you)

🦦 anonnnnn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i'm sorry for the late reply but you literally left me speechless. like no words could express how much this means to me, i am so so thankful 🥹🥹 i like most my work too, enough that i am willing to post it, but have found myself being really insecure about my posts, especially since i took such a long break and tend to get caught up comparing myself with others. i discourage myself easily, which is something i know i need to work on. i know i've said it before but messages like me are really what motivate me to keep writing, otherwise it would be so easy to just let my drafts collect dust or never even make it to the point of becoming a draft. writing is an extremely long process for me and it is an honour and still unbelievable to me that my works have been able to reach other people and affect them in this way.

thank you so so much for leaving such a lovely and wonderful message.

[bcbdrums]

Just Love Me

What, an actual fanfic and not just tiny quotes? It's a mediocre offering but yes, an actual story.

Anyway, this fic is a direct sequel to Just Hold Me. You need to have read that story first to understand this one.

This fic includes the warnings: non-graphic mentions of sexual assault; mildly descriptive sex scene. This fic is an extremely solid M-rating in my mind.

Writer's honest opinion, I feel like I didn't wrap this up well enough and that it needs a third sequel... I only addressed one of the issues, and I'm not sure I addressed it well at all. But. This fic has been sitting "complete" for over two years now, I've no one to beta, and it's time to get it moving. If it's lousy y'all can be brutally honest, lol.

Okay, on to the angst...

Read on: FFn AO3 My Fanfics Masterpost

------------------------

Just Love Me

Drakken stood silently in the bedroom doorway, watching his wife. She lay on her back in their bed, blankets askew at her waist. Her hair was mussed all around her where she had tossed and turned, and her palms lay flat on her chest and abdomen where her dark gray t-shirt was also a bit twisted from her restlessness. She was wide-eyed and staring at the ceiling.

Drakken had been watching her for nearly thirty minutes. Her eyes had been closed when he came back to the room, though she hadn't been asleep. And it was clear she hadn't slept at all for the hour he had left before that, working quietly in the den in hopes that she might finally sleep.

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Only 2:46 p.m.

Shego never slept anymore. Not since... Since the incident.

Things had only gotten worse since the interrogations by Global Justice and the police, inquiring into Sangerson's death.

Drakken had been offended that neither organization seemed to put any weight on the attack against his wife that had led to her accidentally killing Sangerson in self-defense. And when he had finally exploded at the authorities after their insinuation that she had acted deliberately, they had finally apologized. Or rather, offered the excuse that since no prison on Earth had ever been able to hold the former villainess, it seemed unbelievable that one average human, criminal though he was, had managed it.

On the bed, Shego suddenly lurched onto her side. Drakken's eyes widened and he made his presence known.

"Shego?" he asked in fear.

"Gonna throw up..." she mumbled as she held her stomach and her breaths became heavy.

Drakken grabbed the wastebasket and held it beneath her face where she had leaned over the edge of the bed. She recoiled only slightly, and then stared past him at the floor as she tried to steady herself. He watched as her breaths gradually began to slow, and then after about a minute she cautiously lay back on the bed. She set one hand over her abdomen again, but the other she placed on her forehead as she closed her eyes, her lips parted and her brow furrowed as she continued to struggle.

Drakken's heart was racing. She hadn't been physically sick in the days that had passed. It didn't make any sense... Except...

"Morning sickness?" he asked carefully.

"Maybe," she said softly, her eyes opening briefly as she considered. After a few seconds she closed them again, her voice falling to a whisper. "I think it's still too soon."

Drakken's heart sank in despair. She barely ate. She didn't go to work anymore (per his demand, she was on stress leave). She lay in bed for half the day more often than not, but never napped and could barely get a few hours of sleep at nights. Now she was getting ill.

As fearful as he was for her, he had an equally great fear for the new life that was growing inside her.

Drakken was a scientist. As soon as they had learned Shego was pregnant, he had started his research. He knew how important it was for mothers to have stress-free pregnancies in order for the healthy development of the baby. Especially in the earliest weeks.

He watched for another minute as her breathing gradually evened. She swallowed slowly, and he saw how dry her lips were. He glanced at the two nightstands and saw no cup indicating she'd had water that day. He looked back at her as she switched which hand was on her abdomen and which was on her forehead.

Drakken felt the fear begin to tighten his chest. He cleared his throat softly and then set his hand softly next to hers over her middle. But at the moment his fingers made contact, she startled slightly. His heart hurt even more. Despite the audible warning he'd given, she still hadn't been sure...

He looked at her face. Some of the worry lines in her forehead had faded. He hoped his touch was helpful... No, he knew it was. But she was still struggling a lot more with all that had happened than she had expected herself to. It made him wonder at times if she'd actually told him the entire truth of what had happened. He would then immediately remind himself she had no reason to lie. Unless to spare his feelings...

He went back and forth over it in his mind for several minutes. But as he had gotten the train of thought going, he suddenly found he couldn't shake it as he looked at her distressed face and listened to her shallow breaths. He pinched his eyes shut, furious with himself. But his lips moved anyway.

"Shego... Are you sure you...told me everything, about what happened? I mean...was there anything else you...should have told me?"

He wasn't sure about his phrasing. He didn't want to sound like he was accusing her of anything at all.

She looked just as confused as he felt. She studied him for a long moment trying to decipher his meaning, and then her eyes became a bit clouded.

"Did you...want to hear the details...?" She looked very reticent. He quickly shoook his head.

"No, I...I just..." He looked down. He looked up again. "I just want to help you. I don't know what to do, Shego... And I don't want to make you have to think about it. But I can't figure out what's wrong..."

Shego looked back at the ceiling. She gave him a brief, knowing glance. Yes, he knew that her nightmares were part of why she couldn't sleep anymore... But he was losing her in the daylight hours too. He was losing...all of her.

Her hand slid atop his on her abdomen and she laced their fingers together.

"Actually...that might help."

"What?" Drakken asked. Her cautious but hopeful eyes met his.

"Talking about it... Maybe then I won't think about it every time I close my eyes."

Drakken's breath caught. He...he didn't actually want to hear it. Just the thought.... Knowing that another man had touched his wife, was bad enough.

The hope began to fade from Shego's eyes. He tightened his fingers on hers.

"If you think it will help you..." he said quietly, his throat tight.

She gave him a grateful look, even though she appeared uncertain herself. Her other hand left her forehead and hugged herself across her chest.

"I remember pain when I came to, from the knockout stuff... He was digging his fingers into my hip, and yanking on my zipper. But he'd already broken it..."

Drakken watched a broad array of emotions play across her face as she recalled all of the details of the horrendous event. He knew his own face was a mirror of hers at times with the horror and fear of what she had endured as the tale drew out to be several minutes. But he also grew angrier as she began to confirm many of his assumptions. The thought crept into his mind again that if the vile criminal weren't already dead, Drakken would have killed him himself.

Suddenly, Shego squeezed his hand hard.

"Drakken."

He startled from his thoughts and felt the furious grimace on his face. He forced it away before meeting her eyes. She looked afraid, disturbed...sympathetic, and even hopeful.

"I'm going to be okay. Don't...don't be like that," she said, reaching her free hand to his cheek.

He mirrored her gesture and then let his hand come to rest on her shoulder as his face fell.

"But you're not okay..." he whispered. "You're not getting better. You can't even sleep..."

Fear of losing her suddenly assaulted him like an enveloping darkness. He sank down to sit on his heels next to the bed, closing his eyes against the dreadful sensation. Every moment of every day, she seemed to be slipping away from him. And he didn't know how to bring her back.

He carelessly brought her held hand to his lips and kissed her fingers as his mind continued to race. She was his entire world... He could have only her and nothing else, and he would still feel he had everything... And he was losing her.

"Do that again?"

He opened his eyes to the sound of her quiet voice and looked at her in question.

"Kiss me."

He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them long and slow, feeling the strength in her bones while his eyes never left hers. A yearning and a desperation was building behind her dark gaze, and a moment later her hand was behind his neck, gently pulling him to her.

He met the warmth of her lips in a soft caress, pouring love through the tender touch until they both needed to come up for air. Drakken gasped softly, breathlessly, and stared at her. The hopeful look in her eyes had faded, and she was looking past him, away at a point in the room.

"I think I know what would help..." she murmured.

Drakken's brow rose. If she thought something would help, why did she look so...?

"I think..." she said hesitantly, "if we made love... But..."

"I don't think I can," Drakken blurted out. A moment later, he blinked as he realized Shego had said the exact same words in unison with him.

It wasn't even a question in his mind. Of course she couldn't, how could she possibly want to with the dreaded memories so fresh and their pain still affecting her?

Shego was shifting over, and Drakken crawled up onto the bed to lay next to her, leaning up on his side as she continued to speak, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling again as she usually did throughout the days.

"I don't feel like me anymore. I feel like...like part of me was stolen. Except...somehow, it was part of me that...that wasn't really me. It was you," she said, turning her worried eyes to his again. "I know that doesn't make any sense..."

Drakken watched her as he tried to process her meaning. It was undeniably true that there was something special and transcendent about...being one with her. He wondered not for the first time if that was something normal between couples, or unique to them. He'd only been with Shego, so he had no basis for comparison. But it was unquestionably, the greatest feeling on Earth.

"It...makes sense..." he said slowly.

And it did. Because he had repeatedly and angrily had the thought that she had been stolen from him; that something rightfully only his had been forcibly removed, torn out with a dagger and leaving her with jagged bleeding wounds that no medicine knew how to heal. Except that the wounds were also in him somehow.

When he considered his own pain, it was always followed with the very primal thought that he needed to reclaim her; that although the other man had only gone so far and that his actions were hated, Drakken still needed to take his woman back in a very physical way, proving that he had the only right to her.

It was a strange thought that slightly disturbed him if he thought about it for too long. But now, looking at the desperation in Shego's eyes... Somehow and inexplicably...it seemed to be exactly what was needed. And she felt the same way.

"But...I can't," Shego said quietly, her gaze becoming half-lidded as she stared sadly at the ceiling.

Drakken kissed her cheek. "Neither can I," he said with understanding.

Shego took a breath and her lips parted, but after a long moment she let the air go in a wordless exhale. Drakken watched as her eyes began to take on the same worried expression they had held for over a week now. His heart sank.

She suddenly looked at him. "I think talking about it helped," she said quietly.

Drakken's brow rose. "It did?"

Shego nodded, and then her gaze returned to the ceiling.

Drakken sighed, although his chest felt slightly less tight. That was at least a tiny move in the right direction. But would it be enough?

As the familiar fear of losing her came over him, he lay down and slowly pressed himself closer to her, releasing her hand and draping his arm over her and holding her gently. He closed his eyes as he felt her begin to relax against him. That was one constant that always helped soothe his fears. He could only hope it had the safe effect on her.

"Try to sleep, please Shego," he said softly.

He felt her sigh, and he barely moved or said another word as several minutes passed. But finally, he felt her breathing even out. He waited another several minutes before carefully removing his arm and moving away from her warmth. He didn't want to leave her, but he needed to get back to work.

As he crept away from the bed and out of the room, he missed Shego's eyes staring after him in silent desperation.

---------------

Over the next few days, Drakken was saddened to find that not much had changed. If talking through the ordeal had helped her, there was no outward evidence of it. The only thing he noticed that was different was that Shego seemed to be watching him more, rather than staring away at nothing.

If he was moving around in the bedroom, she was watching him. When he was cooking and when they had their meals, she watched him. And she even sat in the den more often and watched him working.

He didn't have to wonder what it meant for long, as at the end of the third day when he had entered the bedroom after finishing his work for the night, Shego was sitting up in bed waiting for him. She was wearing a lacy, sky-blue nightdress that was designed to entice.

"I need you!" she blurted out with quiet urgency before he had finished closing the door behind him.

He paused and stared at her, his mind immediately racing through the various things he thought may go wrong with that particular endeavor.

"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously. He couldn't bear the thought of further traumatizing her by unknowingly...touching her a certain way, or saying the wrong words in the wrong tone, or something.

"Yes," she said almost anxiously. She leaned back on her elbows in the bed, bending her knees and pointing her toes. The pose was sultry and alluring. But her eyes were worried.

He approached the bed anyway, not willing to deny her anything that might help by that point. It had been over two weeks now. He was so worried for her, and the baby...

When he sat down and scooted nearer to her, her arms were already outstretched. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down before he had even gotten his feet off the floor, and began kissing him. Drakken answered her touch and was surprised at how quickly she began untucking his shirt and undoing his buttons.

The familiar touch of her hands was like salve on a wound. But that feeling instantly brought confusion. It wasn't supposed to be about him feeling better. It was supposed to be about healing her scars.

That thought threw his mind into clinical mode, and as he kissed her he became less aware of her hands pulling off his clothing and her lips meeting his adoringly. He was too busy wondering exactly what he was supposed to do in order to most safely accomplish the goal.

"What's wrong?" Shego asked, her lips finally releasing his and her head falling back to the pillow. She looked confused and concerned.

"What do you mean?" Drakken asked as he sat up and finished pulling off his shirts.

"You're not... You don't seem very..." she paused and looked him over as he kicked off his shoes slid out of his pants, "interested."

Drakken looked at her uncertain expression. He didn't need to look at his crotch to know nothing was happening there. He realized that the way he had been thinking, he was never going to be able to get focused enough.

"Sorry, I was...I was just worrying," he said honestly, leaning over her to kiss her again.

He tried to focus on what he was supposed to feel. The touch of her lips meeting his so perfectly, her hands running up his arms and holding his shoulders, and her knee pushing between his legs and trying to move him closer to her.

None of it was helping. He'd been stuck so long in a state of concern, that he was barely affected by her attentions. He sighed in frustration and sat up again, his brow furrowing. Shego looked at him in confusion and sadness.

"Hold on..." he said, looking down at her and starting to let his eyes roam over her body.

"Do you...not want to?" Shego asked, a hurt and even more worried look coming into her eyes.

"No, no I just...sorry, give me a second," he said, letting his eyes take in every inch of her.

He looked at her feet, and the perfect symmetry of her shapely legs. He looked at the way the hem of the short, lacey nightdress fell over her thighs at just the right spot to entice, but still left everything to the imagination.

As his eyes continued upward his goal of arousal was interrupted again by the memory of bruises on her skin. His gaze fixed on her clothed hip, where he had seen the dark bruises in the pattern of fingerprints weeks ago. Where her attacker had simply taken out his fury at not being able to do worse to her. It made Drakken's heart beat harder.

The uncomfortable, primal desire he'd been having to reclaim her started to return. He latched onto that feeling and forced it to grow by recalling the horrid memories she'd shared with him of her experience. Of words spoken that were nothing but hate, and of violating touches of hands and lips.

It made him angry. She was his wife. His only. No one else had the right. And the recollection of her descriptions was indeed starting to stir something in him that he could only describe as territorial. He needed to reclaim her as his own. And that thought was finally building his arousal.

"Drakken?"

He brought his eyes up to her face and he was instantly shaken out of his thoughts. Shego looked...afraid.

"What's wrong?" she asked, leaning away from him slightly. Her voice was thin.

He shifted toward her, beginning to comprehend his mistake, and with the movement caught a glimpse of his reflection in their vanity mirror. He met his own gaze and saw the cold anger he had allowed to build, mixed in with an almost blind determination... And then seeing the confused and frightened look on his wife's face...still trusting, despite how he looked...

"I..." He turned back to her, forcing everything he had been thinking out of his mind. "I'm sorry. I was...thinking about what happened, since I was having trouble..." he said with a gesture. "But when I think about everything, I get angry, and it...it makes me want to..."

He paused and frowned at himself. Would she like the words that had been running through his mind? Thoughts of claiming her, possessing her, and making her his again? Even though she'd not really been taken from him...

He saw Shego shift away again and his eyes snapped back to focus on hers. She wasn't happy.

"You have to...be angry to...?" she asked. Her gaze darkened and she looked past him with the worried and fearful stare he'd become accustomed to seeing on her. "I don't...want you angry."

Drakken reached out for her, desperate to erase the last few moments and apologize. But Shego lay down and turned away from him, curling in on herself.

"I need you," she said quietly.

The sound of her sniffling was what brought the lump to Drakken's own throat. He slowly lay down and cautiously set his hand on her bare shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Shego. I'm so sorry."

Her hand reached back and grabbed his, and he took it as a sign that it was okay to be closer. He slowly curled up against her back. And when he felt her frame shaking with silent cries she was struggling to control, he couldn't stop tears from coming to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry..." he repeated, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. He was relieved that she leaned into him, rather than pulling away like he feared.

"Can't..." Shego said tearfully, "can't you...just love me?"

Drakken's heart broke at her words. He held her tighter as he silently cried into her hair.

He realized then that the horrible things she had endured wasn't something either of them could just get over. The sordid incident was something they would both have to heal from and work through. And probably for a long time.

He also realized that she had been right about him that night everything had happened. He was bottling it up, just as she'd thought. He was trying to be strong for her. But he was just getting weaker for the both of them.

"Can't you just love me?"

Her sad, desperate words resonated in his mind. Couldn't he?

He thought of the way she had first kissed him when he sat down on the bed minutes ago. The way her lips had poured adoration and desire into every touch, and the way her hands had spoke of yearning and need as she had embraced him and tried to pull off his clothing.

She...'just loved' him. And in those moments she hadn't appeared worried about memories or pain, the way he was. She trusted him. She trusted his love. And he had very nearly violated it.

He scowled at himself for a moment before shaking it away and focusing again on what she wasn't saying explicitly, but what was implied. She trusted him to heal her mental and emotional scars. She wanted him to. And he didn't need to worry in excess about being careful as long as...all he did, was...

"Yes I can," he said aloud into her hair.

"What?" Shego murmured, sniffling again.

Drakken leaned back and gently pushed her shoulder until she lie down, looking up into his eyes. He rubbed his face to get the tears away and then gently used the back of one knuckle to dab at hers.

"I can...just love you."

Her brow rose slightly, and her eyes remained uncertain. Drakken ignored the fresh damage he had caused in favor of sitting up, taking her hand, and kissing it.

He kissed the back of her hand, and along the length of each of her fingers. His caresses were slow and lingering, giving attention to every joint and muscle and inch of lovely green skin. He turned her hand over and gave the same attention to her palm.

Instead of worrying about what she may not want, he thought of how lucky he was to have her. How lucky he was that she had chosen him, when she could have had her pick of men. And that her choosing him was the result of nothing less than a deep, passionate love she had expressed to him from their first kiss, to the simple gestures she made for him throughout each day.

"It's all I've ever wanted..." he murmured absently, only realizing he'd spoken the thought aloud when he felt Shego shift nearer to him.

As he kissed her wrist he looked up into her eyes, and he saw that the worry was fading. He continued his attentions, kissing the soft, pale skin on the inside of her forearm, and then gently turning her arm to kiss the slightly rougher skin at her elbow.

"You're beautiful," he said shakily, smiling down at her as he continued the rain of kisses over her flawless green skin. It might be too late that afternoon to redeem the precious moment of normalcy she had initiated, but he would try as long as she let him.

She pulled her arm out of his grasp and looped it around his neck, pulling him down to kiss her lips. Again her touch was nothing but loving, and full of need. It fueled his desire, and also his determination to demonstrate what he had failed to do before. He loved her with all that he was, and he wasn't going to let her have any doubt that love was the only reason he was in their bed preparing to ravish her.

He leaned away and out of the grasp of her fingers, despite the small whimper she gave, and he moved to sit up between her legs. He picked up one of her feet and set it atop his shoulder and then turned his head to kiss her ankle. She smelled of fresh apples, the scent of her soap, and he knew she had just come from the shower. He lifted her foot again and kissed its sole. The tiniest and briefest of giggles was the response, since she was ticklish there.

Drakken grinned, calm beginning to return, and he set her foot back on his shoulder and held it carefully with one hand so he could lean forward to kiss along her calf. His free hand began running up and down the inside of her thigh, massaging the firm flesh as his lips attended to the rest of her leg.

Shego's fingers wiggling into the elastic band that held his boxers at his waist broke his focus, and he paused and rested his cheek against her leg as he smiled at the happy and yearning look on her face. It was only the relief in her eyes that reminded him that all was not well, and there was more weight to his actions now than perhaps any of the other intimate times they had shared.

He set her leg down and moved to divest himself of his last article of clothing while she pushed herself to sit upright. She lifted her arms, and he gently pulled off her lacy blue nightgown. As soon as she was free, her arms went around him. Drakken had expected a kiss, but she instead she clung to him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder.

He held her close in response, his hands pushing her hair aside to feel the warmth of her back. He rested his cheek against her head as he slowly rubbed up and down her smooth skin. He hoped he was finally helping her... He hoped his foolishness of before, despite the insistent thoughts in his head, wouldn't further harm her.

His thumb and fingers massaged the base of her neck while his other hand traveled in long and slow broad strokes over her back. After several passes he boldly slid his hand down to grip her rear, and after another slow rub of her back he added kneading the softer flesh to the routine.

Shego sighed into his neck and relaxed heavily against him, her tight grip loosening to be merely firm as her fingers moved to clutch his shoulders. He was forced to shift as she suddenly snuggled nearer, bringing them as closely together as she could while they were sitting up, and then pressing her cheek to his.

Drakken wasn't sure how long they sat simply holding each other, but he spent the time forcing his mind to calm. Shego was safe, in his arms. Despite how she had been slipping away from him for days, somehow...she was finding her own way back to him. And all she wanted from him, and was eager to give, was love...

He turned his head to kiss her temple, and then continued to place small, soft kisses over her face. He felt her relax even further, and soon she was returning the kisses across his jaw and cheekbones. When their lips finally met, the passion was a familiar yet soothing fire. He focused on that sensation, and the desire for her that bloomed in his chest with the tender caress of her lips.

She still clung tightly to him, kissing him deeply as he finally lowered them down and reached back to tug the blankets over them. And then he braced himself on his elbows as he stretched out and settled comfortably to look into her eyes. The faintest hint of worry had returned, and he leaned down to kiss her neck and shoulders briefly as he wove his fingers into her hair.

"Okay?" Drakken asked softly, bringing his eyes back to hers.

Her response was to tighten her arms around him and kiss him with yearning, and he closed his eyes and placed his forehead against hers as he tentatively completed their union. He held back his instinctive moan of pleasure, but his eyes fluttered open when he heard her familiar, softer one. It was an assurance he needed, and with his fingers in her hair beside her face as he stared down at her, he made love to her with gentle slowness.

Of all people in the world, Shego had chosen him. The perfect woman had chosen him, and wanted him. It was with that immense feeling of gratitude that he poured love into her and hoped she knew how happy her love made him.

Yes, he could just love her. He would love her no matter what. It was all he ever wanted to do.

He only broke eye contact with her to blink or to kiss her, their noses touching briefly in between with each of their joint movements. He felt a thrill when she began to sigh softly with pleasure and responded to him with like passion. And as the minutes passed he watched the change take place in her eyes far faster than he'd expected. Her worry dissolved as she gazed back at him, her verdant eyes staring back into his and searching for love. With each passing moment, everything about her calmed, the remaining tension in her body vanishing and her gaze becoming adoring and grateful as he stared at her with all the love in his heart. When tears started to brighten her eyes he kissed them away, and her soft sighs grew slightly louder with her happiness. He was surprised to feel his own eyes stinging as they stared at one another, but he didn't care as he smiled both in relief and in their shared joy as their eyes communicated the answers they had both needed.

She was going to be fine. And as long as she was, so would he.

---------------

Drakken woke up with a start, but then relaxed with a deep sigh. He lay on his back, his arms surrounding his wife who was also on her back and half-atop him as she slept soundly. He wasn't sure what woke him, his heart still calming from the sudden change from deep sleep to staring at the early-evening light in the bedroom. But sudden realization caused his heart to leap again in a massive wash of relief.

The worry lines were gone from Shego's forehead. Her eyes weren't pinched shut in pain, and her mouth wasn't fixed into a permanent grimace. For the first time since that horrid day she looked to be at peace. And finally, she was asleep.

Drakken carefully tugged the blankets higher around them, and then settled back into the pillows as he watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest with her peaceful breaths.

He watched her for what may have been hours, afraid of something waking her and determined to lull her back to sleep somehow should that occur. But when the light under the curtains finally faded to darkness, he couldn't fight the pull against his eyelids. As he slipped back into slumber, he found her hand with his and laced their fingers together in a solid reminder of what he now understood he had irrationally doubted: she was, had always been, and would only ever be his.

[happyk44]

What are your thoughts on Annabeth/various gods? You talk a lot about Percy and Jason and Nico (and you're RIGHT) but I think Annabeth deserves to sleep with, like, Hades. Idk love your work, gave me brainworms so I'm passing them on!

I haven't thought much about Annabeth with a god - I have thought about Hazel with Hecate though! That being said - you did specify Annabeth SO here are so off the top of the dome thoughts:

Annabeth is the architect for Olympus, obviously many great ways to meet and become close with various gods and goddesses. I think this is probably the best avenue for her to hook up with Aphrodite. Lmao, Athena is very much "don't bother my daughter while she's working" and Aphrodite is just "and I took that personally". I think even more so Annabeth becomes so oblivious to other people when she's working sometimes that Aphrodite is just fucking miffed that her appearance around her is going unnoticed that she's like "I'm gonna fuck this girl if it's the last thing I do."

Annabeth being Annabeth realizes pretty quickly what's happening but she doesn't want to be just some fling for the goddess so she just... ignores it? Kind of. Tries to set it aside as "I am Piper's friend, this would be so fucking weird" and Aphrodite changes tactics from outright seduction to more of a courting, dating thing.

She's a great girlfriend (obviously) and her centuries upon millennia of being married to Hephaestus means she knows quite about a bit about engineering and architecture, so she engages with Annabeth when she gets into her little rants and it leaves her so unbelievably flustered because before then the only person outside of her cabin she could talk to about these things without having to use layman terms or keep it broken down and simple was Leo.

Aphrodite also has her own war aspect that often goes forgotten so Annabeth is discussing her ideas for strategy on an upcoming Capture the Flag game and Aphrodite is voicing her own ideas back and it's just so good for the both of them because people, even other gods with all the modern shifts, regulate her down to just being pretty and sexual and while Ares doesn't often to leave her own to dry that way, he definitely prefers to talk about it with his sister so Aphrodite enjoys being able to flaunt the side of her that people ignore and Annabeth fucking adores how excited she gets about it, even starts crafting designs for armor and swords (and yeah, Hephaestus has that covered for her usually, but it's so sweet, Aphrodite could fucking cry).

Also Annabeth loves learning new things and throws herself into the BDSM, sexual aspect of a relationship with an eagerness that makes Aphrodite extremely horny and very excited.

(Cue personal amusement as Athena accidentally walking in on Aphrodite tying Annabeth up and it's just "I told you not to bother her when she's working" "does she look like she's working right now?" and Annabeth wants to die so fucking much)

Poseidon would be a choice, I think. Say she and Percy breakup for whatever reason and she still misses him and Poseidon is there and he's older and bigger but his eyes are still the same and it's just so familiar and safe that she doesn't even think too much about it until the day after and she's waking up and freaking out because fucking shit i just slept with my ex-boyfriend's dad. But she goes back anyway because the ocean is intoxicating and safe and she finds herself constantly seeking the feeling of being drowned.

My personal HC for Poseidon is that while he does care about people, that circle of people is extremely limited and the only person he truly loves is his wife (and Nico in the PJO universe because I think he deserve it), so her relationship with him is short-lived, a year or two at the most and it hurts her intensely when he breaks it off.

Also Annabeth when she's mad or feels strongly about something becomes a little headstrong and vengeful and I can see her accidentally sleeping with Poseidon even she's dating Percy because she's pissed at him for whatever reason - maybe he didn't notice that someone was flirting with him and she took that to mean he was welcoming their advances and gets stupid about it and winds up getting railed by Poseidon and it's so good but she has so many fucking regrets about it because it's Percy's frigging dad.

Now Hades because you mentioned it -- I dunno. My take on Hades is that he's very languid about sex. He doesn't really have much of a stake in it personally. It's good, yeah, but he could get the same fulfillment out of it that he gets using his own hand. He's not usually aroused by other people but he still gets the random urge. He'll agree to sex if asked about it though and that's where Annabeth clocks in.

She's helping Persephone redesign her summer cottage after her work on Olympus is complete (or mostly complete) and she's curious because she's heard the myths and she's met the man and yeah, Nico seems to be happy with his dad, but he's his father, right? He didn't kidnap Nico and force him to marry him. So she tries to be subtle about it. But Persephone has heard all the questions a million times over and over again so as subtle as Annabeth is being, it's not working.

She's not about to get into her complex relationship with her husband with some random mortal who's there to do a job, so she's blunt about it. "I love him. He's important to me. I don't care what your opinion is on it. He's a good person who cares about me and our children." And then because she loves the reactions she gets from people when she says it, "Plus his dick is huge and he knows how to use it."

Which levels into Annabeth's mind, makes itself a home, and doesn't leave. Suddenly it's all she can think about it.

Nico takes her down to the Underworld so she can get his siblings' advice on their rooms in Persephone's cottage and Hades is there and Persephone's words block into her brain and it's not like she and Nico are close, you know? Like it wouldn't be a bad thing if she tested Persephone's claims.

She doesn't really know how to flirt (it's never really been something important to her to learn) but Hades has had years of weird flirting from his wife to understand that when she starts hinting about her conversation with Persephone, he's just, "Are you asking me to have sex?"

Yes. She is.

Turns out Persephone's right. His dick is huge. And he knows how to use it.

Persephone is amused. And a little bit pissed off. She's not Hera levels of jealous but she still has emotions! So she strikes a deal with Annabeth. She won't turn her into mulch for fucking her husband behind her back, if Annabeth makes sure to take care of him while Persephone's away. Only for the summer though.

She thinks its supposed to be solely sexual but its not. Hades is as much of a workaholic as she is and dragging him out of his office to eat food or interact with living people that aren't his children and friends/employees is fucking hard. His family has more or less given up on him because of it. But when she manages to do it, it's fun.

He has a wide knowledge of human history - things most people wouldn't even know because he's spoken to the souls, reviewed their history. He tells her stories of the past, answers any of her questions, summons ghosts for her to talk to directly. She in turn treats him normally. She's nervous as first (he's the fucking king of the dead and her memory reminds of her when she was 12 and he was staring Percy down with murderous intent), but quickly levels out because he's just a person. She argues with him heatedly, makes coffee the way he likes, bullies him into being functioning and then gets mad when he teases her for being the same way.

They fuck too, obviously.

She falls for him for the same reason Persephone did. She's scared for the end of the summer, when Persephone comes home, and it's all over but Persephone just laughs at her. Hades doesn't connect with people that much. She really thought Persephone was just going to chuck her out on her ass after that? Don't be ridiculous.

The winter is, however, Persephone's time to shine. But when spring rolls around and the frost melts off the windows and the world prepares for heat and beach vacations, Annabeth opens her cabin door to a tall man clad in black asking if she wants to get breakfast.

[nagimayo]

[raises hand] top 10 enstars pairings go

omg this is such a good question...

polyeden and any pairings within that unit is usually my #1, there's just so MUCH for me to latch onto ugh they are so in love. adam, eve, seniors, juniors, dynamic doesn't matter i just adore them ugh

obviously my url comes into play here... i am rowing this little canoe as hard as i can but nagimayo is so real TO ME... i genuinely forget they've barely interacted bc they are probably my top ship outside of eden. they are perfect for each other in my eyes

i love a nagisa rarepair. really into him and kaoru together lately, entirely the fault of @menodorasmoon if i'm being honest. kaonagi the world. i also love ultissimo as a ship and just as a dynamic in general; wataru and nagisa absolutely have a ton of stuff in common despite the contrast in their general demeanors. i am also a big fan of him with rei, tatsumi, hell just about anyone

number five we got fuckign. tatsumayo. they are mom and dad they are husband and wife they love their children and serving cunt. idk what to tell u they're soooo gay and in love

any mika pairing, but especially shu and naru. triad, even, because that boy deserves all the love in the world and i think arashi and shu would set their differences aside for the sake of loving him together

hajibara makes me extremely soft, bogie time was one of my fav stories and those events fundamentally changed ibara's brain chemistry i am SURE of it. those boys would be so unbelievably sweet to each other it makes me sickkkk

for the last three i'll do ships that i haven't delved too deep into but enjoy watching from the outside; adosou, hiiai, and madaleo 🫶🫶🫶

[jojotichakorn]

For the "give me a show and I'll tell you" game: Only Friends (I know it's not finished yet but you know I had to 😌 )

thank you for the ask, dear, i absolutely adore the amount of love and obsession we have for ofts 😌

my favorite female character

i'm actually gonna go ahead and say april. i know we don't see a lot of her and everything we see of her is in relation to chueam, but she is great at all that. she is just an amazing and supportive girlfriend through and through.

my favorite male character

sand and boston are currently fighting over that title. sand is likely winning, but by a very small margin. and like, props to boston, because while i knew that i'd love sand almost the second he showed up, boston went from "you're annoying, but in a compelling and entertaining way, so i'll give you that" to "i stand with my cancelled wife" and that's impressive as hell.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

episode 10, actually! it completely knocked it out of the fucking park. i think it could be that my feelings are also heightened by the fact that episodes 10 in the past have given me the "we're coming up to a trainwreck" feeling so many times, while the ofts episode 10 made me even more in love with the series and extremely confident in the last two episodes. but it was also just incredibly good. it fully turned my feelings about boston and bostonnick around, it brought up the final issues with raysand and put them on the path to resolving absolutely everything that needs to be resolved to be happy together, it gave me the cunty bitch that is boeing, it made mew completely unhinged, it made top squirm. everything i could have possibly fucking wished for and even more.

my favorite cast member

this one is hard actually, so i'm going to divide the answer into three. 1) force. obviously. he's been one of my favourite actors since enchante and that has not changed one bit. he is doing an amazing job at playing someone i deeply dislike, truly showing off his range here. 2) first. i've always appreciated his acting, but i've never been able to enjoy it to the full unhinged level, because there was something about each of his previous characters that i did not like. now that he is playing someone i am ready to kill and maim for, i am enjoying his performance tenfold. 3) neo. i've seen him in things before and i have liked his acting, but he truly took it to a new level with boston. he is so unbelievably fucking good at what he does that i recently told one of my friends i think he is the best actor from the 2000s gang and i do absolutely stand by that.

my favorite ship

sandray. no contest there babeyyyyy. just the idea of love not being something that a person "deserves", but something that happens and something that can be fulfilling and beautiful, even when there are hurdles and difficulties? the idea that everyone can find someone who won't even "bear them", but just like them and not really find their complexities and flaws that burdensome? immaculate.

a character I’d die defending

boston and ray, but only in regards to particular clownery. both of these have made mistakes, but people acting like boston is pure evil (while he's just... selfish, and that's literally it) or treating ray like the devil because of his addiction would both cause me to draw my bow.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

i was going to say mew just because i don't like him the most, but since the question is specifically about who i can't sympathize with - it's top. like, he really just fucked around and found out to me. also atom and gap, obviously, but i feel like that goes without saying.

a character I grew to love

boston and nick, in different ways. as i said before, boston used to kind of annoy me but in a way that was entertaining. but then he just moved on from his own mess with such ease that it made megiggle and episode 10 finally solidified both how lonely he actually is (seeing as his whole friend group doesn't actually care about him) and also how he can, in fact, change and realise things about himself and open up in a really meaningful and beautiful way, all of which made him jump to being a fave. as for nick, i've always liked that messy messy bitch, but the things that he took away from the situation with boston, the fact that he realised and acknowledged where he fucked up, the fact that he just genuinely loves boston and sees the best in him but also finally respected boundaries to the full and was planning to leave him alone? the beautiful growth there just made me adore him.

my anti otp

probably raymew? like, truly, no one has ever had a worse idea in their entire life. raymew was bad for everyone who was even a little involved. complete mess. two of the most incompatible people in the world. so much so that, despite the fact that the series wants me to believe they work as friends, i don't even think that's true. i don't like raymew's relationship in any capacity, frankly speaking. i don't think they fit together at all.

send me a name for a drama (or dramaS) and i will answer all these questions

(list of dramas i've seen)

[voidtekarc]

The Truth

"Arc, you don't have to visit us as much as you do. We know you come around a lot and we're very thankful for helping us out, but really, we are absolutely fine."

Arcuris's mother spoke with a smile at her boy, placing a hand gently on his shoulder as he stopped for a moment to look at them with sweat on his brow from doing a lot of heaving lifting for them while they were moving.

Arcuris sighed, "I want to make sure everything is alright with you and father. Things have been a little bit too hectic lately for my liking to really let you two out of my sight."

His father walked up to the both of them and he shook his head, "Son, you've done more than enough for us. You don't need to be coming to see us all of the time." He raised a brow in thought and looked back down to him, "I understand everything happened in Garlemald was…" He paused and sighed heavily as he peered to the ground momentarily, "…unbelievably sad, but you can't be spending every waking moment making sure we are alright. Didn't you visit that girl that met us at Broken Lamp?"

He could hear his mother say, "Ah, yes, the Elezan girl. She is a Sharlayan, isn't she?" She looked a little disappointed when she mentioned her.

Arc's father shot a glance to his wife and shook his head and grumbled, "Clodia…"

Arcuris pinched the bridge of his noise and looked to them, hearing this once more was tiring but he would have none of it, "Look, I know I'm bullheaded and hardly take no for an answer. And you'd be right. I'm not, not helping you. I'm your son and I am going to look after the two of you…"

His father Lucius looked to the side and sighed before looking to his wife Clodia. He peered back to Arcuris and smiled slightly, somewhat of sadness in his face, "Arcuris we really need to tell you something."

Arcuris peered back to the two of them and frowned, "You usually don't say my full name unless It's something extremely important…" He decided to rest against a nearby fence post and looked to them with his hands resting on the railing to support him." Clodia frowned and closed her eyes as she stood near her son. She put her hands in front of her and looked to the ground in front of her for a few moments. Collecting herself she looked back up to Arcuris and frowned, "We…one morning we woke up to the sound of a little one crying outside our door, Arcuris." Tears ran down her face and she mustered up courage once more, "That little child was you, Arc."

Arcuris felt confused at first. He peered to the side and shook his head, "I'm sorry, I thought you were going to say I was going to be a big brother again." He smiled sarcastically, trying to play off what he was just told and asked once more to be sure of what he was just told, "I'm not your son?" He peered up to them once more. Now, tears were starting to form in his eyes, blinking to try and keep them away.

Lucius closed his eyes and helped his wife, "We're telling you this, Arc, because you deserve to know after everything has happened."

Arcuris wiped the tears from his eyes and held his face in his hands as he spoke through them, "You waited to tell me this after I've been through multiple wars, lost my brother, my wife, and when I was thirty one years old after the fall of our homeland?" He was shaking out of anger and sadness before looking back up to them, his eyes red from the outburst of emotions, "I think you were a little late on this one!"

Clodia frowned and peered ashamed to her son once more, "We're sorry, Arcuris. We were always afraid to do so. We didn't know when the best time to do it was. You need to live your life, Arc. We love you but we don't want to see you keep coming here and not going forward with your own life. We watched you struggle for years to try and start over again and we've always been heartbroken seeing you go through everything you have."

Arcuris sniffed and kept sitting on the fence as he peered to the side with his hands now in his lap, "I guess I was the miracle baby of the family. Not so much of a fucking miracle after all now."

Lucius shook his head, "No, you were there when you needed us. When we needed you, son. Even if you're not our child by blood, you are our son and you always will be. We will always love you." He frowned, himself trying to fight back his own tears, "If you need time to process things, or even if you don't want to talk to us anymore, you can. We will never hate you for it if you do. We will always love you, Arc. But you need to go live your life and not worry about us every waking moment. We will be fine, son."

His mother gave him a reassuring smile, "You could even find your birth parents, Arc. Maybe they could explain everything?"

Both of his parents hugged him tightly and he returned the affection. He sniffed as he closed his eyes as all of them held one another. The moment passed before his parents started to walk away before Arc spoke up, "I love the both of you. I always will."

He turned to face the distance, resting his hands on the fencing before rubbing away the tears that stained his face, exhaling a deep sigh as the wind gently lulled him into a trance.

[hisadoringkitten]

Possibly...

Today I was supposed to have lunch with a new friend, it didn't pan out, unfortunately. Yesterday, we had extreme storms. They're saying a tornado hit downtown, and she's not able to get her car out of the parking garage. I was bummed, for sure, but I totally understand.

I struggled at first to come up with another outing to fulfill my weekly assignment to go out and do something just for me, but I figured I could go to Goodwill and see if I could find a suitcase or weekend bag for our trip next week. I found some extremely cute clothes and an awesome bag. I picked up some travel toiletries and a few makeup items I needed. It was a lovely trip.

I got home just as the kids did and had just enough time to settle before you called on your drive home. I love having hours to talk to you most days. It makes you feel so close, and we've really gotten to know each other deeply quite quickly. You were house hunting for your mom. You found a good one today. You've talked about the fact that even without knowing the dynamic or about the relationships, she's always loved your girls, and I can't wait to get to know her. I'm so excited to have someone who will not only be in the same town but new to it as well.

I'm unbelievably excited about this trip for so many reasons. You sound like you are, too. I'm most nervous about hitting it off well with your wife. You keep telling me not to be, that she's very accepting, and I'm not so nervous about her being okay with me, but I know we could both really use a friend, and I'm hoping we can fulfill that with each other. We talk every few days, not a ton, but I'm enamored with her as well.

I've kept a very close guard on any feelings or excitement about the fact that she's into girls... that my long-held dream of being in a polycule is an actual possible outcome with you both. As a super needy pansexual, that checks every box for me. I know we've got to get to know each other and things will have to progress naturally but the fact that there's even a possibility, a chance, however slim that we could connect on that level... it has me absolutely giddy. Then tonight, she brought up the possibility of me living with y'all down the road and said I seem like a more natural fit than the others...

It leaves me baffled, nervous, and unable to push back the excitement that you both see me as a real, long term, possibly, and even if nothing beyond friendship ever comes of it... I'm still excited at the chance.

[bluesky88diary]

Today I received some gifts. In old drawer there was some old hunting knife of very good quality. I was complaining for left in airport knife, because what a life without sharp knife? I very like sharp knifes and fountain pens. And guess what, right in the drawer forgotten hunting knife of very good japanese quality and extremely sharp (the sharpest I ever had). That's not all yet. There were some men's perfumes and one of them reminded me friend from over 20 years ago, all the rest not worthy of my attention except last one. I will keep the name of perfume in secret. There was one natural non synthetic perfume of my preference, sweet fresh aroma with notes sour. The very decent aroma, steady and of high quality. Maybe it's also your favorite one? Now I have a decent perfume for our date you will never forget. What a gift from above!!! I guess this perfume suits me well and reflects my character.

Over all it was happy day. How about your happiness? One man said on sabbath 'happy wife, happy life'. I agree.

Everything is going very and very good. I'm overwhelmed by blessings. Rom 4:5: "But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." This promise works so perfect. I literally do nothing but only believe and trust God will handle everything in the best possible way and it happens so. The path of faith through spirit of love is unbelievable.

Next week I will ask your plans, because I'm going to buy flight ticket to LA and want to know what's up on your mind. I don't want you feel forced, that's why I ask each time, I want you be attracted by love toward me, only so.

My heart is happy because of you, my beloved angel 승연, and Jesus.

By the way, if you want to know, last time I thought, "ou, this is so sweet, I received flowers from beloved flower". 고마워요. And yet, that dream on cny about our family I have seen is very encouraging. This is like a family holiday and can it be by a chance to see such a dream exactly on that day? I don't think so, you know. And I'm very happy about you, dear 승연.

Want to hug you...

[cipheramnesia]

I think I’ve seen you talk mostly about horror movies but would you happen to have any books in the horror genre you would recommend, any type of horror goes

For a variety of reasons, I am not the best person to make horror literature recommendations. I'm tuned into the horror movie continuum. Not so much books. That said, my recollection of back when I was tuned into horror lit was that I was unbelievably picky. So for better and worse, let me hit you up with my recollection and stuff I can find on my shelf.

I'm going to lead with my dark horse, Tanith Lee. Judging by how few people know her work in horror, it's safe to call her underrated. There have been a lot of "lavishly decadent gothic horror" authors, and I would say Lee is what they all wish they could be. Check out her tetraology The Secret Books of Paradys for breathtakingly beautiful reworkings of classic horror tropes like vampires and werewolves.

Speaking of werewolves, the Lonely Werewolf Girl series by Martin Millar is a lovely read. I hesitate to call it horror exactly, but it's wonderful and charming and full of rather silly subplots, such as a demon queen who has to keep up with fashion and a punk rock werewolf band. It's a lot to take in but a breeze to read thanks to the way Millar has with language.

Anyway, also Skin by Kathe Koja. I don't remember anything about it but I recall enjoying it so there you go.

My nonbinary wife would likely want you to read Algernon Blackwood, a kind of extremely early eldritch horror writer concerned with the terrors of nature. Speaking of eldritch horrors, I found T.E.D. Klein's work chilling, genuinely more frightening than anything I'd read. I was 16 at the time and there's also gonna be some stuff that aged really badly. However, he only had two published books and then vanished forever. So it'll be easy to get all his stuff but hard to find.

Obviously you should check out House of Leaves. If nothing else it's a fascinatingly complex book, but it also genuinely scared me in places so there's that. It's by Mark Danielewski, and there's also a complimentary album Haunted, by Poe (Mark's sister).

Uh lessee, Steve Rasnic Tem and Melanie Tem are pretty good stuff. Clive Barker's Books of Blood Sure. There's also like some horror adjacent stuff, like for example Steve Aylett's bizzaro writing isn't horror precisely but has some very fucked up content. There's Jeff VanderMeer, probably most recognizable as the author of Annihilation (adapted to film), but with loads of other disturbing content. Jack Womack's six part Ambient series is dystopian science fiction strictly speaking but if you aren't deeply disturbed by the parallels to modern USA you're made of stronger stuff than myself. Crash and The Atrocity Exhibition by J.G. Ballard are like what if a serial killer wrote a romance but that's just how Ballard is. HIGHLY recommend the RE/Search annotated edition of Atrocity Exhibition. It's gorgeous.

There's also a couple authors of, again, not exclusively horror but adjacent works right here on Tumblrerio with Amber Skies by @normal-horoscopes and The Last Girl Scout by @natalieironside so you don't even have to leave the app (I'm lying, you do).

[astriiformes]

I saw your tags about being a Johnathan fan and SAME I have loved this man for years and its SO NICE to see him get all this attention and get to see fan art and such about him it blows my mind.

I have loved Jonathan ever since I first read Dracula, so tumblr latching onto him like this has been unbelievably delightful. Like, yes, does he suffer from some perspectives that have aged decidedly poorly because he is a gothic horror protagonist from 1897? Unfortunately, thus are the woes of engaging with historical novels, even if they have great characters. But he is also so refreshing in many other ways -- I love to see a kind, anxious, sensitive guy who doesn't really want to be mixed up in all this scary stuff but is willing to dive back in, even after being horribly traumatized, for the sake of his wife!

I was talking with @marypsue the other day about how so much of Dracula is really about love (both friendships and romantic love tbh, to such an entangled degree that you end up with all the "Dracula polycule" jokes that I am thriving seeing all over) and that is absolutely one of the reasons I adore the book so much. Because like, I love some gothic horror vibes, but at the end of the day a lot of the narrative tropes I'm especially into aren't as common in the genre, whereas Dracula really is a classic "plucky band of heroes work together and succeed in a large part due to caring about each other so much" story, even while also being Extremely Horror. And Jonathan just like. Typifies that. The story starts off because he wanted to document his business trip for Mina. He wanted to share it with someone he loved. And that energy really does carry through for the whole book, especially once Mina ends up in trouble, too.

TL;DR Jonathan Harker is the best, I am so glad you and, apparently, tumblr agree with me on this