#I'm drawn to the idea that two characters may have meant something to each other at some point but now they will never be anything

[hikarielizabethbloom]

Random thoughts

There is something so poetic about the almost and the never.

Galadriel and Halbrand met on a raft in the middle of the sea, in the middle of nowhere.

Both were broken individuals, running from their pasts and searching for something to give meaning to their lives and pain.

They clung to each other, shaping one another into what they wanted to be. For a time, this connection worked; they were almost something—friends or lovers, it didn’t matter.

But then life crashed back in, and they had to face reality. Whatever they had between them would never fully be.

They couldn’t ignore their pasts or run from them. Yet, their meeting meant something. Galadriel confronted her fears

and realised she was all she needed to become her true self.

Halbrand, through Galadriel, transformed into his true self—Sauron, the Dark Lord.

Their choices gradually led them to drift apart, both physically and emotionally. However, their experiences in that liminal space between them were genuine. What they felt for each other was real. They had almost become something significant. Now, however, they will never be anything together again.

[yuseirra]

Hikaru Kamiki's character-analysis collection

160 is going to be a pretty powerful chapter. If my judgment and theories, interpretations about this character flops eventually, it will. But until that happens, I feel I can hold out quite a bit.

Maybe I can call myself an expert on this particular character because...there are so many others who excel with other characters already and I wouldn't be able to beat them to it, but with his case, I may have a chance because he's had very little screen time and the way he acts is very ambiguous and confusing. I put in a lot of effort into understanding his character along with Ai's because I wanted to determine just what kind of relationship they had (154 was so intriguing. that chapter didn't have to be like that but it was), and to do that, you need to get a decent grasp of each of those two characters. I make fanworks, so I HAVE to portray them, and I've drawn way over 200+ pieces of art with them in it, with most of them being comics with expressions and dialogues. So I think it's safe to say I have an idea of just what they're like, may it be all debunked in the end, but at least for the time being. I'm pretty sure though. If I didn't know what I signed myself into, I wouldn't have spent my effort and time in the first place!

So, here goes! If you don't think he's an unforgivable psychopath and a nasty liar who's coerced Ryosuke into stab Ai and kill his daughter and did serial murder for "his own sake"<whatever that's supposed to be, or wish he'd turn out to be something more complex than just a flat-out villain, If you want to know why Ai wants to "help" him, then this analysis may help you. It's going to help me too. I'm just revisiting what I've written about him, there is a mention of what takes place in 160, a little, too.

Oh before anything, Mephisto and Fatal is HIS SONG. With that as the baseline, everything just..starts clicking. That's how I started to realize just what this guy's going to be.

(translated through Chatgpt~~I CAN'T write this whole thing twice hhhghh)

I think I have a pretty accurate grasp when it comes to understanding emotions.

As for the latest chapter's developments (which will be released today), if we take all of Kamiki's words as the truth and compare them to previous chapters, there aren't many contradictions. If we closely analyze the things this character says, it turns out they haven't really done anything significant, nor are there many things to hold them accountable for. Even the words they say to Aqua might not be as mocking or provocative as initially thought. If you believe things as they are, it all fits in quite neatly.

Since around July, I've been piecing together the fragments we've been given, analyzing the character's psychology multiple times, and I was really accurate in predicting what they would do.

In reality, they haven’t done anything, and they've never tried to harm anyone. Nino and Ryosuke went to the hospital and killed Goro, while Kamiki only meant to send a bouquet of flowers. If what he claims is correct, he was even happy upon sending them, he didn't even try to "scare Ai". (I'd been screaming about that in the top of my lungs for so long and oh am I so relieved. I want to say I TOLD YOU SO! But with the whole chapter being so. Yeah. the way it is, I can't even be happy about it. )And I was right about all of it. I’ve gotten so many things right… though, to be fair, there wasn’t really any other way it could have played out.

The testimony? It really might be exactly as it is, and there’s a good chance none of it was a lie.

If the character’s actions, as depicted in the movie arc, and the occasional glimpses of their behavior weren't false, then their behavior integrates with that.

If we trust Aqua’s interpretation, the real question becomes: Why? Why would this character act the way they did? We have no idea about their motive. Why would they have gone to such lengths, spending years scheming? The motive is the most important issue here. Why? For what reason? There’s a lack of rationale. Ryosuke and Nino approached them first, so from the moment they met, they probably didn’t have a plan to use them, nor do we understand what they gained from it. And while it’s said that they sparked a flame of madness, the reasoning behind that is too weak. The actions taken don’t have the drive to escalate into something like murder. Showing a toothbrush leads to murder? Suggesting to turn themselves in leads to attempted murder? This feels like something that couldn't have happened without divine intervention. If they intended that effect, the actions taken to achieve it were far too weak. The behavior escalates unpredictably and drastically. It's almost like they were cursed. Honestly, I think Kamiki is cursed. “Fatal” is indeed his song. The lyrics about life being twisted because of the stars appear in that song, and I think the songs in the anime help fill in the most important pieces of this character.

The "motive."

The last expression in Chapter 159—every time I look at it, I become more convinced it’s a sad expression. If you cover their mouth, you can clearly see it.

This character smiles when they're going through a hard time. And they don’t get angry at all, to an almost abnormal degree. I think that’s what confuses people about this character.

When people say unfair or harsh things to them, or even when they’re being bullied or questioned, they don't fight back. They just endure it. Their expression falters for a moment, but then they pull themselves together and smile again.

This not only leads to misunderstandings, but it also makes you wonder if this character is really responsible for anything. It unintentionally makes people push responsibility onto them.

That behavior resurfaces in this chapter, too. If Aqua’s accusations have any basis, then Kamiki deserves to hear those things. But if not, then once again, they’re just enduring it as always.

Even as a child, Kamiki couldn’t defend themselves, so another child(Ai) had to step in and fight against the adult who was bullying them. They’re a character who’s too soft to stand up for themselves. It’s unclear whether that’s because they have a large threshold for patience, or if they’re just shy—it seems to be a bit of both. But they’ve endured more than most people would be able to.

I’ve been pointing out these patterns as I’ve been following the story. It’s an incredibly consistent behavioral pattern.

This is just a small part of it.

In terms of their behavior, Kamiki barely seems to experience anger. And it’s usually anger that drives strong actions or causes someone to affect others. This character doesn’t have that, which is why all their actions seem almost passive. I think they’re incredibly sad and in despair. But they don’t show the slightest sign of anger, even in situations where they should. That’s why I don’t think they could have harmed Ai or killed anyone. It’s beyond just being kind; it’s like there’s a deficiency, or they have the mental fortitude of a saint or a god.

When Ai asked Kamiki to come see their children, I don’t think Kamiki was entirely hopeless. It wasn’t a bad thing, after all. But in the end, Ai dies. Good things never happen to this person. Even when something good does happen, it disappears before they can fully enjoy it. Yet, despite that, they’re still so kind. Have we ever seen them get angry at someone? Not at all. They face people with a smile and remain polite, despite everything. Considering all that’s happened, it wouldn’t be surprising if they’d gone insane, but they don’t come off that way. They just seem truly depressed and hurt (yes, but I still think they might have killed Yura, so let’s wait and see how the truth unfolds).

Looking at how Kamiki acts, there’s something almost powerless about them. They’re too agreeable, never speaking up for themselves, and often at a loss for words. And this isn’t a one-time thing; it’s been consistent since they first appeared.

When they asked Ai, “You love me, right? You won’t leave me, right?” and Ai responded, “I don’t know,” Kamiki’s reaction was to go outside, cry in the rain. When Airi gaslit them with some absurd nonsense, their face just froze in despair. When Ai said something harsh and dumped them, Kamiki couldn’t say anything. Even 15 years later, when watching the video, they couldn’t say anything and just curled up while reaching out toward Ai. It’s been so consistent that I realized this character really has no ability to defend themselves. In any given situation, they just take all the blame and accept it as their fault.

This character experienced horrific things even from a very young age, and rather than thinking, “I don’t like this,” they thought, “People like me when I do this, so this must be the right thing to do.” With that kind of mindset, they’ve been knocked around here and there, internalizing every negative judgment about themselves, becoming almost self-destructive.

For this reason, I think there’s a less than 2% chance that this character would do something as aggressive as sending Ryosuke to Ai in an attack. Even four years after the breakup? I imagine this character would have just cried alone after receiving a phone call. I really think they would’ve gone off and cried in agony... but somehow let the address slip, which led to Ai’s death. And then they think, “I have to save Ai no matter what,” which ties things together. That theory fits perfectly with the songs and their personality. As for why Kamiki ended up with such a personality—it all lines up.

Going over the information we’ve been given, I wonder if this character even has it in them to hate anyone. People with a normal mentality would obviously hold grudges against certain people, but Kamiki doesn’t show any signs of that. They seem to internalize everything as their fault and just suffer. They’re remarkably gentle. When you remove the assumptions that they harmed Ai, killed Yura, or committed serial murders, Kamiki comes across as kind...

I doubt they were ever truly angry. I don’t think Kamiki can get angry or even knows how to. Instead, I think they were just thinking, “What’s going on?” When they found out Ai raised the kids on her own, they probably thought, “Am I really that untrustworthy? She really didn’t want to be with someone like me, huh?” They would have been heartbroken, just like the “disappointment” mentioned in Chapter 158. They couldn’t be with her. But they don’t seem like the type to resent Ai for that. If they had to blame someone, they’d blame themselves for being untrustworthy.

It seems their natural inclination is to beat themselves up rather than others. They can’t stand up for themselves, and whenever something goes wrong, they immediately think, “I must be to blame.” (They’re similar to Aqua, but worse because their self-esteem is even lower.) Ai’s words could have made them angry, and they would have been justified in being upset, but they couldn’t even do that.

Their reaction in Chapter 155, when they couldn’t say a word, lines up perfectly with this. From Kamiki’s perspective, Ai lied to them for over ten years, and now he’s saying he’s going to do something for Ai. This behavior has been consistent throughout. Even after 15 years, they’re still acting like this. Either they’ve always been this way, or this is how they’ve always acted when it comes to Ai (though, judging from their actions, I’d say it’s a general tendency).

Kamiki loved someone who never loved them back, to the point where they’d say, “I truly loved Ai, from the bottom of my heart. (She's)the girl I was willing to sacrifice my life for” If someone believed that the person they loved never loved them back, yet they still genuinely loved them enough to say, “I loved them to the point of giving my life for them”—well, that’s a pretty miserable state of mind, don’t you think? But even in such a state, it seems like they continued to do things for Ai. Since they thought Ai didn’t like them, they likely went on without considering themselves much, probably with the mindset of, “I don’t care if I die.”

Because of this, when this character says things like “It’s my fault” or “I did it,” I think those statements are a bit unreliable to believe at face value. It feels like they're saying Nino’s actions were their own fault because they wanted to blame themselves for everything, or because they couldn’t forgive themselves. I could be wrong, but regarding Yura, there’s a decent chance that they’re less responsible than expected, and I’d say there’s about a 50% chance they didn’t kill anyone at all. Originally, this isn’t a character who would harm others.

As for the page where Kamiki tells Aqua that he wanted to scare Ai—well, I think 80% of what he says there is a lie. The only part I believe to be true is when he admits to giving Ryosuke the address, and that he didn’t expect Ryosuke to kill her—probably an accident or unintended consequence. The reasoning Kamiki gives for his actions is ridiculous and foolish. There are countless ways to make someone feel despair, and it goes without saying that doing so is wrong. Plus, there’s no guarantee it would even work, and it’s not practical from the start. In short, it’s an action with a very low probability of achieving the desired result. That’s why I keep speculating that this situation doesn’t make sense. I think most fans would have the same thought about Kamiki’s statement, like, “How could he not have known what would happen?” Right? I don’t think this was Kamiki’s doing from the start. Any rational person would feel that way, and Kamiki doesn’t seem like a crazy person. Nino, on the other hand, might be a bit irrational, but I don’t think Kamiki is! That’s why I’m convinced that Nino was responsible, especially since she appeared on the scene.

↑I got this right. If this chapter is correct, the flashback in Chapter 154 was indeed false, and Kamiki’s self-blaming testimonies can’t be trusted.

I’ve said this many times before. And I was right about a lot of things. I was right about how Kamiki had no reason to kill Gorou, so it was Nino and Ryosuke who did it.

For Aqua’s argument to be convincing, he needs to present a valid reason or proof as to why his father acted the way he did.

Last time, I analyzed the motivations behind the actions of the characters in this manga, and for Kamiki, at least as far as the story has shown, his current goal (according to his own thoughts) is to do “something for Ai.”

When you look at the relationship between this character and Ai, there’s no other driving force that could push him to act. What Kamiki thinks is important for Ai is what drives him.

This idea is reflected in the songs “Mephisto” and “FATAL.”

According to Chapter 158, the emotions he’s experiencing are desire, disappointment, and despair.

Among these three emotions, “desire” is the only one that can drive someone to act. The other two make a person shrink back or become rigid.

These three emotions appear strongly and consistently in both “FATAL” and “Mephisto.” I’m good at reading emotions.

And the “desire” depicted in those two songs is the emotion of wanting to meet and see someone again, right?

In Chapter 160, the person that stands for the description of: “someone who desires love” is none other than Kamiki himself.

Ai wanted to give love, and Kamiki wanted to receive love. That’s Kamiki’s “desire.” It can’t be anything else. Wanting to harm Ai? Wanting to harm Ruby? No, that’s not it. Kamiki has the desire to meet Ai again and be loved by her.

So, what actions will this character take based on that desire? If we follow that thread, I think we’ll find the answer in the end. That's the key to understanding everything about him, his major drive.

[cryslut]

BSD Men - Soulmate

「 Fyodor ~ Chuuya ~ Dazai ~ Tetchou ~ Jouno ~ Nikolai 」 - Where the BSD men cast find out that you two are soulmates. Finding out you were destined to be together after being told by some gifted person with the ability to read peoples lives. - Gender neutral reader, there may be spelling errors this is not fully proofread. I'm not sure where this idea came from and I'm not sure what this is suppose to be but nonetheless I hope you enjoy this (Some of this feels out of character but I hope it's still okay) (The picture above of all characters was edited by me - if you use, give credit)

↳ Fyodor Dostoevsky

As a terrorist and someone who is cruel and manipulative, he is also calm in dire situations. So finding out that you two were meant to be together, he didn't mind it. After all, you two knew each other for a while.

You two met when you were on the verge of your very untimely tragic death. He saw potential in you, manipulating his way to convincing you to join him otherwise if you didn't, he would let you die on the ground. You of course accepted the offer.

You two were roaming around the city of Yokohama. Coming across a man that stopped you both, talking about how your lives were going to go, and then letting you both know that you were indeed meant to be together.

,

"You two are also meant to be together, you're soulmates I suppose," The man in front of you both says calmly. Fyodor keeping his composure, "We're not even together but we're meant to be you say?" The man looks at him nodding his head, "That is how it is."

After the very random encounter, you two kept walking around making way to where you two wanted to head to. As you both reach an alleyway, Fyodor stops walking in his tracks and turns to look at you, "If that man is true to his word.. do you want to see if it's really spot on or not?" His eyes go back and forth looking at yours.

Nodding your head accepting his offer, "Sure," You smile softly at him, "Good, then we're official, let's keep going."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Chuuya Nakahara

You and Chuuya were already in a relationship. One thing lead to another with you both and here you were with him. When he found out you two were meant to be together, he was completely more than fine with it. He didn't want to lose you as he already lost enough as it is. So this made him really happy deep down but he didn't want to admit it too much.

You were both just finishing a meeting in the port mafia and you two are about to head out, exiting the building. Some guy walks up to you, the man is caught by the both of you and drawn to you as if he needs to tell you something.

He explains how his gift works and briefly explains how your two lives will unfold for a while but leaving out too many details otherwise he's just messing with the future. He lets you both in on one secret though and that would be that you two are destined.

,

"The both of you are soulmates," He whispers loud enough while leaned towards the both of you then taking a step back. Chuuya nods his head as if he wasn't too affected by it. This made you upset so after the man was done speaking to you both. You gave him a little talk. Let's just say he ended up confessing how he felt and that he truly does love you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Dazai Osamu

Dazai is a very flirty man, and he was always like that with you enough as it is. You two have had sexual relations with each other. So when he found out you two were destined to be together, it was quite interesting to say the least.

You two were in the cafe that was right below the armed detective agency, with the rest of the group chatting and as usual Dazai makes dumb flirty comments to you, getting a reaction out of Kunikida to make him stop completely bonking the man on the head as usual.

You brushed it off and didn't really care. Once they gather away, a man walked into the cafe ordering something and then while he was waiting he made his way over to your table, the same one where you and Dazai were alone together at.

He can already tell some things about you two. He starts a conversation then telling you both a little bit about himself and about his gift. Then he goes on to inform you both about your lives and what will happen. But leaving anything too crazy and major out, after all he doesn't want to mess with fate. He does let you both in one secret though.

,

"Not suppose to tell you this, but the both of you are meant to be together, you two are soulmates, basically destined, it was fate you met," The man says softly and quietly not trying to draw attention from anyone else. Dazai looks surprised and then looks over at you and smirks, "Well I guess all those times I've 'helped' you really did pay off in more ways than just one, huh?" He nudges you. Your face heats up, followed by a  pink tint on it that can be seen.

Of course Dazai would find a way to make you feel flustered or even embarrassed. He always did with his flirtatious comments. That's what you loved about him though. After the man left and you two were alone at the table again, before anyone could come back to interrupt, Dazai lifts his head up and averts his gaze onto you, "So, you want to see if this man's words are really accurate? If you're mine after all, I could help you more," He smirks at you and you blush once more nodding your head, "Sure, I'd love to."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Tetchou Suehiro

Tetchou is a very serious well organized person, he hates sadistic beings so he's a very soft individual especially when it comes to you. He can be even seen as over protective over you. You two are already dating, you two started talking and really getting along when you joined the hunting dogs.

So learning about the two of you and your destiny together was quite interesting. He was quite entertained by the idea of it and really wanted to move forward with you.

You two were hunting a criminal that not even the armed detective agency could track down. When you two stumbled upon a man, questioning him if he saw the perpetrator anywhere, a small conversation started and then he broke out saying how you two are destined to be together.

,

Tetchou looked a bit serious at this moment in time but he was quite surprised, hearing the words 'destined to be together' and 'soulmate' all in one sentence threw him off for a moment but he kept his composure, "We're already together. But you have this gift and you're able to tell us that we are.. soulmates?" He questions as the man nods at him, "Interesting."

So you two have a conversation about it while looking for the gifted perpetrator that no one can really seem to track down. He seemed quite happy knowing that you two got together and he was excited deep down inside that you two were going to spend the rest of your lives together.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Jouno Saigiku

As some who seems very happy and cheerful a lot of the time even in situations with people he cannot tolerate at all, he seems like he'd be the soft type. He really isn't, maybe for you. But he abhors intense emotions from those around him, so you would think he'd hate the concept of love. He doesn't when it comes down to you though, he doesn't quite show it a lot though. So finding out that you two are soulmates.

You two were off doing your own thing on some break away from all the others, a man randomly approached you both starting a conversation and then explaining his gift and how it works and then asks to try it out on you two. You both let him with Jouno completely on guard in case something would happen but smiling while doing so to throw the man off if he tried anything at all.

He then proceeds to tell you two little small details about what's to come in the future and then loops you two in to a secret about how you two were meant to meet each other and meant to find each other is leading to the both of you ending up together and being happy together. Jouno was already looking very happy but he didn't try showing any emotion about the whole situation at hand.

,

"We are meant to end up together, you say?" His tone is still as cheerful as ever, "Indeed," The man says as you look over at Jouno. Although you both were not together you were upset because it was clear to you that you had feelings for him.

So once the conversation was over you decided to have a little talk with him, "So about what that man said," Jouno draws his attention to you, "He said we were meant to be together, do you wanna.." You stop as you felt yourself growing nervous.

"Yes, we can give dating a shot," He takes your pause as a hint as to what you were going to ask, you smile and felt relieved and happy about what he said, you two continue doing what you were before and went on with your day after talking about that one situation for a while.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

↳ Nikolai Gogol

This man is very sadistic in nature. But deep down he has a soft spot for you. He may not admit it and may be even distant from time to time but he does treat you with the upmost respect and love with all the compassion he can when he does show anything at all. So finding out that you two are soulmates was something he found interesting, not really understanding it.

You two were doing your own thing. You tend to follow Nikolai around because the things he does never makes sense to you so you just tag along and don't question it. A man by himself piqued your interest and you decided to go up to him. A conversation had started and one thing leading to another, the man going into small details about your life along with Nikolai's.

The man seemed to know enough about who Nikolai was to be a bit distant from him so he made it up to him and you by telling you both a secret, which was that it was fate you two met.

,

"You guys.. are soulmates," He starts off softly, trying to remain calm while Nikolai was around, "You two are meant to be together as in.. dating," You look over at Nikolai who was just smiling and kinda surprised, but also quite confused not really understanding it, "So we're meant to be together?" He says, he keeps his very cheerful attitude but you can hear the cluelessness in his tone, "Yes, correct."

After some time of a conversation with the man, Nikolai is confused by the term soulmate so you briefly explain it the best way you can, "Ohh okay! So this means, me and you can finally date?" He yells out with joy as it makes you jump back and laugh, "Yes, we can."

[icybreaths]

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍 (*holds the paste button forever*)

|| Time to talk about ships || @apocalypta-secundus ||

//Mila came in and left NO survivors, so now I'll proceed to not shut up!

Jewel and Kakos

OCxOC ship and both characters are mine. Their story is set in heavy themes of unbalanced power dynamics, PTSD, suicide ideation and attempts, domestic abuse/trauma, toxic love, murder attempts, and learning how to break free from that cycle. She dumped him in a fight where she severed his arm off. I could go for hours about them because they're rooted deep in one another and brought out the best and worst of each other, and those experiences eventually lead to the both of them getting help for their mental states. I don't forgive you but I'm grateful you were there when you were.

Jewel and Tetsuji

OCxOC ship and both characters are mine. Tetsuji was a fresh transfer from another division and he fell for Jewel right away, but she was still raw from her traumas from Kakos so she wasn't having it at first. Theirs was a slower build. They became friends first and through spending more time together and sharing things in common, Jewel softened around him enough to try a date, two, three... They got together but they didn't last. Jewel's power had increased to levels to where she was uncomfortable to touch for long or to have sex with (they're both sexual creatures so it was frustrating). Worst of all, she was repeating some of her abusive trauma related behaviors on Tetsuji and he wasn't having that. He dumped her in an argument. Jewel needed time to look at her actions and realize what she had done wrong, but when she tried to ask for forgiveness he wouldn't hear it. She knew she had lost something good. He was a genuinely good person. It was a reflective time for her. They eventually reconciled as friends. Then best friends. :')

Jewel and Grimmjow

CanonxOC ship and B O Y. I'd kill to have a partner to write this ship with. I have infinite muse for them. So many different ideas for a myriad of verses and AUs. Different dynamics. Plots. Art. Headcanons. My arsenal's overflowing with Them. I understand my open adoration of them may push some people away lmao but I just can't! Contain it! It's in my rules that none of my ideas are meant to force anything on anyone that writes him so I'm content to yell about them. I'd rather blab about them until my heart's content than hold it all in, otherwise here I'd be seven years later with no wall of blurbs on this blog or a ship pardner. At least I have one rn! I will say that I'm looking for key things with someone who portrays Grimm. Unafraid to be violent. Doesn't lean on 'cat traits' I see a lot in fanon (you do you if that fits your interpretation ofc!). Likes ladies lmaoo. And slow burn! They would take a fair bit of development to get to that shippy point (at least I feel that way. She's vibed with some Grimms in the past where they got on p quickly! So I don't rule that out.) Need a communicative partner (that doesn't mind plotting when needed.) I've yelled about them 23432t57823431 times but basically I'm super into them bonding as kindred souls that understand each other on an instinctual level, where they can 100% be themselves and not have to hold anything back. They're ride or dies while also not tying the other down. They're drawn to one another because the other's soul feels like home, maybe something else who knows. No one's eager to talk about it. Also I feel like even though they're both chaotic they bring out healthy traits in one another, even some subtle ones and that's juicy to me. I went ham on blurbing them here. Blurbs that link to more blurbs because my brain never shuts up about them. My brain's like: 'GrimmJe tho' and I'm like 'wow you're so right' single tear with feeling.

Jewel and Bazz-B

CanonxOC ship, with your Bazz ;D This one was all your fault, Mila!! Ofc after you brought it up to me it didn't take me long to see it. Fire and ice ship got me fucked up so they got their own verse. Here we are. Made me break my own shipping rules LOL. Glad I did because I adore them. Jewel finds him annoying but also endearing in some ways. He's a lil shit but not so bad that she'd toss him into a frozen lake probably. Given her past experiences (OC ships) she's unsure, but Bazz doesn't seem bad, minus them quarreling during the war ahem- but that was a different time. He's able to handle her coldness and zanpakuto, which is a huge thing to her. Skilled fighter. Difficult to defeat. A bit of a tease. Has nice hair? hello?? Gives her space but also enjoys her company. He has her interest. They're a ship that's a wip, but as of now they seem to have no problem hitting on each other. Jewel especially acts brazen at times. sorry if she comes off Strong at times tybw jewel loses fucks to give and it stays that way onward hwfweioifw There's a hesitation in Jewel here though. She wonders how he would perceive her in her most feral state, the worst rotting frostbite on her, just all the 'ugliness' of her out in the open. She has a better hold on her reiatsu and blade, but that old battle worn state of being can still resurface and make her look like a walking corpse skeleton. She's like, 'hmm that'd suck if that ran him off but this is fun for now, maybe he won't be bothered when he sees it. it is what it is.'

[byulsgrease]

duly noted

you've never been one to obsess about your soulmate, assuming you'll figure it out when the time is right. but seriously, what kind of nonsense has yours been writing about recently?

(eventual moonbyul / wheein x gender neutral reader, soulmate!au, trainee/idol!au, ~1.2k words)

a/n: wheein bias wrecker anon! I might've had too much fun with your req and so this is gonna be my first soulmate au 🤠 while byul and wheein don't actually appear in this part (does that make this a prologue? idk), I promise they'll make their appearance soon enough :)

cw: struggles of being a trainee (weight + food talk)

The claps from your dance instructor ring out in the mirrored studio, calling everyone to attention before they send you off for the day. Everyone stands around listening to whatever niceties they're talking about, asking the rhetorical questions of whether all of you want this, how everyone needs to work harder, etc. How many years has it been now, almost three? Evaluations went pretty well recently and you've certainly demonstrated signs of growth since you started, but debut? Who knows. Does anyone, really?

But right now it's late and you're hungry, hoping that your growling stomach isn't loud enough to pierce through the lecture. You're respectfully tuned out anyway, since it's all old news. Nothing you haven't heard before. They clap again once their spiel ends and everyone disperses. Your eyes catch Hyejin's on your way out of the studio, sharing a funny face and an eyeroll before disappearing into the herd of trainees shuffling to the lockers.

Your locker opens with a routine spin of the dial, taking care to slow down and line up the numbers properly so you're not stuck having to do it over again. The inside's pretty cute for a metallic rectangle— it's really the only space of your own besides your notebook. Pictures of your family, old school friends, and fellow trainee friends line the sides beneath a tiny string of battery-powered fairy lights. It's not much, but always a humbling reminder of why you're here.

Unzipping your bag, you take out a pair of slides and drop them on the floor while stepping out of your sneakers. There's not much else in your bag, just a change of clothes and your notebook, of course. Everyone has one. Anything inside could be drawn, written, scribbled, painted. It’s your personal creative space and no one else's, but with two conditions:

You can't write your name in it, not even your initials. Of course everyone tried to as kids against their parents commands, but letters simply sink into the page, disappearing as if they'd never been written at all.

You can only mark up one side. Pages on the right side are for you, and the left side pages fill themselves. Fill themselves with what? you asked your parents. They gave you a non-answer, saying you'd figure it out someday. Great. Only other thing they bothered to tell you was that your right-hand pages were someone's left-hand ones. So someone can see what I put here? Their confirmation sounded rather casual, which you found weird. Someone out there was watching what you put in? But you got used to it, especially since every person owns one. It's a novelty for children anyway. Mark up a page however you want, knowing that someone out in the would will see, and sit back to watch whatever randomness shows up on the left side.

Your left side pages were actually empty for quite a while, save for the occasional "UGGHHH" followed by a typical childish annoyance scrawled messily across the entirety of the page in marker. Not that notebook use was mandatory, but parents usually encouraged it because it kept their kids occupied. There wasn't much you could do about empty pages, nor did you care most of the time, but it did leave you a little jealous of other kids at school who'd sometimes open theirs and be greeted with cute watercolor paintings, mini murals, or skillfully written poetry.

For you, the notebook's served many uses. As a kid it was random doodles and poorly-drawn fantasy scenarios— escapism, perhaps. In middle school it was angsty poems and random journal entries about the random happenings of your life. For the first half of high school it became your to-do list, keeping track of school assignments. And on the rarest occasion, song lyrics. Visual art was never your medium of choice, music came more easily. But drawing staff lines for music notation in the notebook usually ended up being too tedious, so your original stuff was mostly relegated to voice memos on your phone. And now? Who knows. Trainee life may as well be a blur. Sing, dance, talk, eat if you can afford to, sleep, repeat. It's hard to find the energy to write anything most days. Whenever you feel like checking, the left side has random jottings, nearly illegible most of the time.

It wasn't until you got older that you realized that whoever read your entries on the was the same person generating content on the left. And supposedly the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of time? What kind of system is that? I'm just supposed to trust blindly? having asked your parents in exasperation after figuring it out. Again with more non-answers— it had worked for them, didn't it? There's also the obvious question of why people don't just write directly to each other, but whatever. You're still young, no need to obsess over "the one" unlike some of your classmates. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, you figure. And it obviously is, you've got a notebook with (semi-)filled left side pages. What more could you ask for?

The cacophony of clanging lockers opening and closing starts to die down as people leave. Hyejin's head pops out from behind the locker door, laughing in your face when you flinch.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, one sec. Man, I'm starving,” you remark while slipping the bag straps on your back and closing the locker door. You don't even want to know how strapped for cash you are, probably in for another night of boiled eggs and canned kimchi.

“Wanna go out for food?” she immediately asks, eyes alight at the prospect of getting to eat something besides convenience store food.

"I wish. Actually, you wish," you smirk with longing in your eyes. The "no" doesn't even have to be said, weigh-ins are way too soon to risk it. She hangs her head, jokingly dejected as you swing an arm around her shoulder to walk out of the company building together.

~~~~

After scrounging up whatever food you call dinner, taking a shower, and flopping into bed, you open up your notebook and grab the random pen laying on your dresser, unsure of what you'll write about tonight. There's chicken scratch on the left page already, ballpoint pen. It's actually legible today, though: In my room every day I see your smile.

What the hell does that mean? Whose smile, yours? You haven't even met yet.

Call me everyday every night, hug me everywhere every time

Utter nonsense. Maybe meeting soulmates is just a huge game of catch-up once everything's finally revealed, surely yours will be. There’s just so many questions. Moving to the right side, you jot down a list of cheat meal ideas along with some assorted notes and pointers from practice that you want to work on tomorrow, drawing little characters next to each list item for fun. After accidentally drawing a random squiggle from jolting yourself awake and feeling the heaviness in your eyelids, you cap your pen and shut your notebook, placing it back in your bag. With the lights out, the last thought you have before sleep consumes you is why haven't you ever tried writing directly to each other after all this time?

[next]

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작���의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

[januaryedgelordess]

I'd like to discuss a SnK theory with someone, it's on the possibility of a different (or expanded) AnR theory.

Disclaimer: Perhaps you should read this post with the lyrics for Akatsuki no Requiem by Linked Horizon in mind, but I also don't stand by the original reddit theory a 100%.

--

One of the questions that lingers around the fandom is: "who would've survived the Rumbling had it been done as originally implied by the themes and foreshadowing of the story?". Some believe only Eren and Historia would have had that chance, but they might be mistaken.

The first proof I have in order to back this claim is AnR's official art as drawn by WIT Studio during the production of season three of the anime:

(Note: these are originally four different images, the source of this collage is vaguely anitwt).

Just as shown in the original PV by Linked Horizon, each of these characters are standing by a gravestone while holding a bouquet and looking conflicted. Now, to counter the original AnR theorists, I propose that Eren —and by extension, Historia— weren't the only ones to live on with regret in their hearts, instead, Levi and Hanji survived as well.

Why did they survive? Is my conclusion solely based on these pictures? Well, just in part.

I believe Attack on Titan was never meant to be a one-sided story, and that one of the various themes that weren't thoroughly explored in the later chapters, a theme which was instead rushed and swiftly overlooked, is that of the conflict between "Nationalism" and "Internationalism". It's obvious and needless to point out that Yaegerists were the former, but the latter never take a name for themselves. However, we get a rough idea of who they might be, one of them is clearly Hanji Zoe:

Another internationalist is obviously Onyankopon:

Another one is Armin and so on, and so on.

Are they the only type on people on Earth? Of course not. Notably you also have those who have egotistical motivations, like Jean, who just wants to get married and live a peaceful life in the inner cities; or the Hizuru ambassador, Kiyomi, whose motivation is monetary gain. The world isn't black and white in AoT so, to clarify, it's unnecessary to classify every character in the dichotomy here presented.

Now, if Yams hadn't downplayed this interaction, we may have had a better thought out plan to stop the Rumbling and, possibly, a less moronically cringy way for "The Alliance" to be presented.

Why is that? It's because of various reasons. First, one of the most observant characters, Hanji, is notable for having spied on some of Eren and Historia's interactions (the "You look happy — that's because I am" scene for example) but by the end of the story the audience never got a reason as to why this observant behavior happened. If Hanji really is as cunning and observant as she is portrayed to be, she should've been the first character to suspect that Eren is the father and, therefore, that Historia's pregnancy's due date was off. Instead of the survey corps discussing this info, we get some random officers discussing irrelevant rumours about it. Isayama I mean, Kawakubo played Hanji Zoe dirty, in my opinion, in this scenario.

If Hanji had noticed that important information, and if that info had been shared with the Survey Corps, as was natural for her character to do, "the Alliance" may have had been able to act sooner against the AT.

Now, would more prep time save the world from devastation? No, I don't believe so. I believe it would, instead, make them have a slightly more realistic last fight by a) having them recruit actual soldiers and weapons for the final showdown, heck, if they have enough time even other countries would chime in, vs Hallu-chan and the Attach Titan; and, therefore, b) not having them rely on a Deus Ex Machina to defeat Eren.

That way, Hanji would live on with regret, knowing the Alliance did everything in their power to defeat the Attack Titan but failed miserably in the end. Instead of having her smile as her ghost-self at whatever the hell the canon battle achieved, she'd mourn the world that's been lost, and she'd feel regret for not being able to save it.

Now, for Levi I haven't done a thorough analysis yet, but I believe it's not difficult to see why humanity's strongest soldier would survive this ordain. I'd really like to hear someone else's thoughts on that matter.

Also, I'm in no way trying to imply LeviHan was supposed to be part of a kino ending, but I'm not too into that ship so I'd like to hear someone else's thoughts about it and on why they were the only two members of the alliance to survive according to WIT Studio's AnR official art.

Now, onto the second part of "who survived the Rumbling?". The next piece of information contradicts previous statements, and it also contradicts an AnR ending to some extent, but bare with me, please.

Exhibit A, Mikasa and Armin should have survived:

However, for Kruger's prophecy to succeed, I stand by my previous statement that "the Alliance" should've acted sooner, and that Armin is part of the Internationalist faction ready to "save humanity". Why do I believe that? It's easy, first, let's remember this quote from the moment Erwin died:

Note how, not only does Eren say Armin will save the humans, he also implies Mikasa will know it'll happen (so she'll be alive by the time the battle ends).

And, piggybacking on that moment as well, Armin would've been able to use his intellect to make a plan to divert the Rumbling titans. I'm adding this here to stress something that can't be stressed enough: Armin shouldn't have had to fistfight Eren twice, and he shouldn't have had to steal someone else's kill. Now onto that kill...

Should Mikasa have been the one to deal Eren's final blow? In the canon version of the story it's shown, in a rather cringy way, how she has to make up a whole different scenario inside her mind to get the mental strength to kill him. To me, Mikasa instead should've used the devastation caused by the Rumbling to completely break away from Eren's character and to be able to see past the "you're being brainwashed" narrative. Now, besides some of Isayama's interviews, there's other proof to back this up: the Historia-Mikasa parallels in Ending 4 and Ending 1:

Ending 1: https://youtu.be/O4wezNlsxB0

Ending 4: https://youtu.be/o05UK9lXtC0

We see some petty similarities in both: how both girls seem to be inside a pond or a lake, a snip of them running when they were young, etc.; but we also see some more important things for this theory: their growth as a person (how they survived whatever the past cast upon them), and them catching up to the people who they look up to and love.

Now, two things we know about Historia are that her beloved Ymir left her and she had to learn to accept it and move on; and that her sister, Frieda, died and she, without initially knowing even that she'd lost her, had to learn how to live on her own when she was young. Would Mikasa and Eren be able to have an end like that? I think it was implied that it was possible, but other than that, as part of any healthy development of her character, it is important for her to move on just as the Eldian Queen did: even if Eren chose to live a life apart from her (like Ymir did to Historia's early knowledge) or even if he were to die (like Frieda did).

Also, I have some doubts about Mikasa being the one who was supposed to kill Eren, since the one who was foreshadowed to be a Helos' parallel, and who'd fit the role just as well is Reiner, but I won't discuss that here.

So, to me, Mikasa was never an Internationalist, but for the sake of her character, a break-away from Eren should've been a good conclusive act.

As to some other parallels between Mikasa and Historia we have this part:

In which it is implied that they share the same burden by birth, and the same destiny, possibly. Mikasa is shown to be embarrassed about it but Historia seems to be thoroughly delighted.

With this parallel I'd also like to recall two other threads left undone: the Azumabito clan and the Ackerman mystery.

First, the Azumabitos. It's implied that their land is to "the Orient", and we also get a small snip during the Rumbling which implies they have a coast (it's obvious their country is a direct reference to Japan, needless to say). All of which would imply that, as it does in the Real World ™️, Hizuru is almost the Eastern-most Nation of AoT's world as well, and therefore, it may be one of the last countries that the Rumbling would have reached. If you add that they were the first people to send an ambassador to Paradis, you get: Hizuru being the first nation to be included in a possible Internationalist "Alliance" (had it been done in the appropriate time) against the Attack Titan; and you also get that this would increase their possibilities of surviving, at least just in part, the Rumbling.

Why is this important? Because AnR's lyrics do not imply the world will be completely and absolutely obliterated. AnR's lyrics imply the world will live on but the power dynamic of the world will be reversed: Paradis will rule, while the rest will be forced inside the cage.

https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Linked-Horizon/Akatsuki-no-Requiem-TV-Size

Now, the Ackermans. Just as Historia and Zeke posses a special particularity by virtue of birth (they are direct descendants of Ymir), which make them valuable assets to "breed" for whoever is using the Eldians (be it Marley, the Azumabitos, or the First King), I believe the outside world would be interested, at any part of the story, to have an Ackerman in their line of defense against the Eldians. In this case the Mikasa-Historia parallel is strengthened, simply because it would be interesting to see Levi or Mikasa confront that part of their destiny (to make the Ackerman clan continue for the sake of a plan, while acknowledging they're the only survivors). Perhaps Hizuru would've been the country to try and make use of that potential? This parallel was, of course, never used, but it would've been delightful to see it exploited at some point in the AoT timeline. However I acknowledge that continuity is impossible in a world without titans, unless one of the surviving countries on Earth are in serious need of Olympic competitors, of course, so perhaps it should've been mentioned before The Rumbling arc.

.

Well, this turned out to be more like a vent or a rant than a theory now, and I wish I could've had discussed it quietly with someone instead of just posting it here. There are some other nuances to this analysis that I would like to explore in the future (since this isn't thoroughly thought out) In the meantime what do you all think of a new AnR theory like this one? Does it make a little sense? At least a bit? I hope so. Thank you for reading and sorry about the grammar mistakes.

TLDR: I believe Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Historia, Hanji and Levi should have survived and also it's possible for Hizuru to have survived. Please feel free to point out any flaws.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

The Thief and the Tinker, Part 4: Circles and Cycles

part 3

Part 4

Viren: *smirks and plinks Runaan's coin to Ethari*

Ethari, furious: You throw another Moonshadow at me and I'm gonna lose it.

Circles and Cycles

Angst rating: 8/10

Back to Ethari, because we're not done with him yet. Ethari is soft, but he isn't weak. He won't be a willing pawn for Viren. He loves Runaan to the point of invention, and his devotion is more constant than the moon itself. He'll agree to do what Viren says, and he'll be Very Sad. But his spirit is in no way broken. Viren bribing him with the coins containing his family will only have the opposite effect. It'll give Ethari something to fight for.

We could get Focused Chaos Ethari. We could get Angery Trickster Ethari. We could get Rules, What Rules? Ethari. Let him try to steal the coins, try to break them, try to kill Viren, and be stymied at every turn, until he settles and seems cowed. And then all he does is craft his way out of the problem.

What if we are gifted with Iron Man Elf Ethari, who pretends to build a fake Key for Viren, but meanwhile he's really building a coinbuster with whatever he can get his hands on - primal stones, magically imbued gemstones, stolen artifacts, his own arcanum, his own reputation as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove. He'll use almost - almost - anything, to stop Viren and free his family.

Ethari may have to choose between those two things, though. And he's a hero, deep down, just like his family, just like his daughter. If he has to choose, he'll choose to stop Viren and save Xadia. He'll pay the same price as his family has if he must.

He'd let Viren think he was motivated purely by wanting his family back, but Ethari is far too steeped in the illusion and sacrifice for that to be all there is to his motives. It's a so-close-and-yet-so-far thing, how he and Viren almost embody the same ideals. Almost. Ethari would take one look at Viren, who just burnt down his whole Forest, he'd see the biggest threat in Xadia, and he'd say anything to get a chance to stop this juggernaut of destruction from getting his hands on whatever that ultimate power really is, locked behind that missing key. If he has to abandon his people and bawl his eyes out to convince Viren he's in, then he will.

And Viren wouldn't make it easy for him. He knows clever when he sees it. He went through all this trouble to persuade Ethari to work with him. He would need to keep Ethari as off-balance as possible to ensure that he keeps working as he should.

Angsty jewelry, anyone?

Viren giving Ethari his husband in pendant form to remind him what he's working for, when Viren and Ethari both know full well that only dark magic can open the hellcoins. Ethari wearing another pendant of his love, except it's not a metaphor this time. It's literally his love, in a coin around his neck.

Viren would love making Ethari stay close to him of his own free will if he ever hoped to free Runaan. Making people bind themselves to you is a big power flex. Remember that TDP stream future-season teaser note about Bait being in a creepy restraint in a future season?

This card is written on in all-caps, so that really could be "Bait" or "bait," or--knowing this show--both. Viren's been using Runaan as bait for Ethari all along. Putting his coin in a dark magic pendant casing for Ethari to wear would be a great parallel for that. Oh god. Oh man.

Maybe he'll stab the coin's scary casing right through that circle on Ethari's chest, right over his heart, make that Iron Man reference really obvious. Ethari also losing his shirt at some point, for angsty Viren-related reasons? It's more likely than you think. I mean... Ethari is literally involved in both forms of forging at this point. Shirt's gotta come off for uhhhh work reasons. And because he's hot. Because of all the forging. Mmhmm. I mean how else are we finally going to discover what his markings look like this is research I swear

I mentioned that I liked god-tier villains, right? Yeah, this is amazing. I haven't wanted to die and ascend over an idea for quite a while, but Ethari vs Viren in a drawn-out battle of wills would kill me in the best way. Especially since, while it looks like they're essentially fighting for who gets Runaan, they're truly fighting a much larger battle with much higher stakes. They're fighting for the future itself. It's an epic struggle between the Narrative of Strength and the Narrative of Love. And we've seen what happens, over and over, when the Narrative of Strength gets to call the shots.

On a meta note: If Ruthari's story arc isn't a love letter from one trauma survivor to another, and on a broader scope to all survivors who see it, I don't know what is. Sometimes life just chews us up and spits us out and we can't stop it and it breaks us. But sometimes we can reach out and grasp the chance to help each other, even after that, even when it hurts a lot, because we know what it means to be loved, and to love, and to want a safer future for each other and for people we'll never meet. The future is worth standing together for, helping each other back up for, fighting side by side for, even if you can't see how it'll end, or even how to begin. We are stronger together, and sometimes we need to fight for our "together" before we can fight for anything else. And that's worth it, every time.

This is glorious, it's beautiful, it's tragic, it's amazing, it makes me want to dance, it makes me want to scream into the void, it makes me want to slap someone with a semi truck. No, someone specific, don't worry, and he super deserves it.

Because Ethari is going to win. He was always going to win. He's soft, and he's clever, and he hasn't forgotten what love means. It's what he's fighting for. Not power, not control. Love. He doesn't want to dictate Runaan's future or anyone else's. He just wants his husband--and everyone else--to have one at all.

So he's going to win.

What thwarting Viren looks like, I couldn't possibly guess. TDP is no stranger to angst, so there will probably be a high cost involved in outwitting the dark mage. Maybe not everyone can be rescued from the coins. Maybe Ethari will lose his life, or his soul, or his vision, or something else really angsty. Viren could even kill him and resurrect him as a smoky craftsman, or a zombie craftsman, or something equally biddable but horrible. The only thing I'm sure of is that Ethari would never willingly make a working Key of Aaravos Ethari as long as there's a chance Viren could possess it. But I do believe that if he gets the right opportunity while he's busy saving the world from Viren's dark intentions, he'll break his husband's hellcoin open somehow and set him free, even if he has to smile at the devil to do it.

Ethari understands the difference between "you can" and "therefore you should." He might sacrifice his own world to save his husband, but he'd never sacrifice someone else's world. That's one of the Moonshadow cultural limits I've noticed: they accept boundaries when it comes to other people's autonomous rights, especially regarding life and death.

These limits could get pushed. Ethari will be under great duress and emotional strain if he goes through this kind of interaction with Viren. And maybe he will choose some dark things. Everyone else has. But I'm placing all my eggs in the basket labeled "Saved By Love." Either I'm right, or I'll get the best angst omelets in the universe. And I do love omelets. A villain invented them, you know. ;)

Another support for Ethari not making the key for Viren: the real Key exists!

Callum has it right now. The plot doesn't need Ethari's key (yet? ever?), but it does need Ethari to learn what he's made of, to stand up for something, or against something, or both at once. And once he learns what he will and won't do and the universe has rewarded his discovery with the return of his beloved husband then Ethari will be ready to take on whatever else the plot has in mind for him.

Depending on the plan, all of these events could happen in S4, as a setup for even bigger things to follow. Viren's wishes can be thwarted here and the show's overall tension will only continue to rise. It would let Ethari flex yes pls his skills so we know who he is, it would show how driven Viren can be for a long-term goal, it would let Claudia saunter further downwards, it would reveal some human/Moonshadow history, and it would resolve the seasons-long tension regarding Runaan's fate, allowing for the cycle of speculation, feels, angst, and Ruthari fanart to begin again. ;) Viren would need to find another way to pursue his long-term goal. And Callum's Key will get a little more clarity on just how important it is to the fate of the world - which will make everything he does, and everyone he talks to, and anyone who knows what he's carrying, intensely important.

Nyx is gonna steal it isn't she, omg chaos birb

To Viren, Ethari was a main course, meant to be devoured and consumed in his lifelong quest for something that will finally satisfy. But to Ethari, Viren was just empty calories to be passed over in favor of ordering his perennial favorite dish, one more time.

Once Ethari escapes Viren's clutches with as much of his family as he can rescue, Viren may turn back to looking for the real Key, especially if someone's seen it recently. Hunting a kid probably seems easier than hunting a full-grown Moonshadow craftsman who just outsmarted him. okay so maybe Nyx stealing it would be a good thing and save Callum's life

Ethari could go on to help repair the Sunforge, or rebuild the Moonhenge, or work on constructing Moonshadow villages in Katolis if he hasn't been ghosted for abandoning everyone after the forest fire. He might build magical devices for any number of reasons, to help all kinds of characters. Hopefully, wherever he goes, he'll have Runaan with him, in some way, for at least a little while. Cycles be like, and I feel like Runaan will not want to remain still for long, for whatever reason. Does he need revenge, atonement, justice, a new body, to find Rayla, to find Ezran? He'll be back in action as soon as he can, I think.

Okay, but, I'm so soft at the thought of a scene where Runaan and Ethari come before King Ezran. The husbands tried to save their people Runaan's way, the old way, and it only continued to endanger them. Following the cycle, as Moonshadows do, was the wrong move. But the son of the last human Runaan killed reached out with mercy and broke a thousand years of suffering and sorrow and hatred. Ezran did what Runaan couldn't: he saved the Moonshadow elves from total destruction. And that, more than anything else in the world, could soften one very broody assassin's heart toward humans again.

What would Runaan do, if his heart truly changed toward humans? What would he say to Ezran? I could see him struggling for a long moment before dropping to one knee to pledge his heart as he once had to do before the Dragon Throne. He doesn't know any other way but to serve. Ezran, reading the whole room and everyone's feelings before he tells Runaan that No, we don't do that here. That he's free, and free means free. No chains, no oaths. Just trust and friendship. He should get to make his own decisions for a change, even though that can be hard and scary sometimes. Runaan being genuinely scared, because that's too much freedom. But he's not alone. He has Ethari, and Ezran, and Rayla, and Callum, and their people, and their allies. And no matter what else happens, the people of Katolis - elven and human - will find a way forward. Together.

part 5

[julies-butterflies]

Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

[headoverhiddles]

Boulevard Hell - Louis Cipher (Brad Dourif) x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You’re drawn to a mysterious older man one muggy night in Hollywood. 

Notes: This is based on Brad’s character in the 2012 Calvin Harris music video for Drinking From The Bottle. Super random, but really hot. I can't with this video. I want him to fucking light me on fire god he is so daddy

The lights of the Walk of Fame blink and shimmer in your peripherals as you listen to the shouts of drunk tourists and honking ubers. Your head has since stopped pounding from your hangover, so you don't mind the quiet beat of a Calvin Harris song playing on the radio. 

You take another bite of toast, and drop the butter-soaked piece back on the plate. You look up. The place is deserted except the older lady scrubbing the counter tops like hell will break loose if she misses a spot, and an older guy sitting two booths down from you. 

You stare at him for a little longer, and find yourself focusing in on his lips... his ruffled back salt and pepper hair obviously combed by his fingers, and god, those fingers. His eyes seemed to dart around with a look that seemed too alert for the rest of him. 

Fuck it. 

You leave your plate, and go sit down beside him in the booth. You had meant to sit across from him, but something strange had compelled you to move closer. 

"Hi," you say, stealing some of his pancake mush on an extra fork. He looks at you.

"Oh. Hey! I saw you at the party last night."

You frown, trying to remember where you even were last night. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did. Who could forget a thing like you?" His eyes do a little dance over you, and you decide you like it.

"I didn't see you."

"No one ever really sees me." He probably means to say it as a throwaway, but it's a heart-felt statement, and he looks down bitterly at his sugar inflated pancakes.

"I saw you from my booth. Thought I'd come..." you shrug, "I don't even know what I thought I'd do. It's as if I just suddenly... wanted to talk to you."

He nods boredly. "Funny thing."

"What do you do?"

"I travel."

"Oh yeah? Where?"

"Anywhere. I'm from somewhere hot, y'see. I gotta keep moving."

"How hot?" You smile, thinking of Florida or California weather.

He huffs. "Very hot."

You can't help but feel attracted to him. He's got this devil may care attitude, with a voice like butterscotch burnt to a crisp.

"About last night," you smirk, putting a hand on his knee, "Did we see much of each other?"

He looks down at the hand as you stroke, and starts to chuckle.

"I didn't fuck you, if that's what you're asking." You must have looked disappointed. "--I wanted to, though. Could barely control myself." His hand falls to your thigh, and starts to climb.

You cross your legs. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. It's been a hell of a while, doll, you've got no idea, and you just looked so fucking juicy. A piece of that pie could twist a man's soul."

Your breathing quickens, as you feel yourself getting wet. Yes, he's a bit of a weirdo, but it's getting to you, and not in the way you'd expect.

"You wanna make up for that and fuck me now?" you whisper, lips barely grazing his ear. The old lady stops what she's doing, looks over at you two warily, then goes back to her work. She's seen it all in this place.

"I want to fuck you, yeah," he nods, eyes dropping to your lips.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Til your toes light up like Christmas." You move your hand to his bulge, which is ready growing. You smile.

"Good. I need it bad, from a real bad guy."

He pushes the plate away. "You wanna get outta here doll?" he asks, and you bite your lip.

"Where?"

He shrugs, undoing the top button of his shirt. "Who gives a fuck?"

So you take his hand, and the enigmatic older man from the diner picks you up bridal style, swinging your legs over his forearms.

Star after star passes beneath you two, and you barely register the names. People point and grin at the man's horns-- fuck, you hadn't even noticed them-- and they laugh about all the campy street performers here in Hollywood, CA.

As he carries you, you giggle, arms around his neck, and he grins too, as you lean in and start to kiss him. He reciprocates, somehow able to keep walking straight.

"I'm gonna fuck the devil," you grin teasingly, holding onto one of his horns. He glances down at you, and makes a spooky gesture that sets you off laughing again.

The two of you find yourself in a back alley, behind the walk of fame hostel, Ziggy Stardust painted abstract over brick.

He drops you down then lifts you up against the brick, your legs wrapping around his hips. His lips part as he surveys your body, and your pussy clenches, wanting more, wanting him.

Nobody can see you. Even the hostel windows are shut, oblivious, as you take off your shirt and pull down your panties. Hollywood is a perverted, godless town. Somebody once told you that, and it made you laugh.

His fingers are inside you, working you open, then he drops down to his knees, keeping your legs strung over his shoulders. His lips find your stomach, pressing tiny kisses here and there, teasing you, watching you get wet by the second. He groans when he seals his lips over your cunt. You grip his horns as he begins licking right up to your clit and sucking hard until you feel like you're about to explode. The horns are really glued on there.

He pulls away, and stands with an aura of strength you didn't think him capable of. He holds you by your ass as he pushes into you, breathing hard. You moan, feeling him stretch you, and grin at the night sky, fists pounding the brick wall in pleasure.

"That's right, baby," he breathes, "This is what you need. Daddy's gonna give it to ya." God. How did he know exactly what you like to hear?

He licks his thumb, then drags it down between your breasts, lighting up your whole body. As your orgasm approaches, you're mystified by the glow his horns seem to take on... it's just the stars you're seeing from getting fucked so good, you're convinced.

"Daddy... daddy..." you moan softly, tugging his grey hair.

"Daddy's got you... gonna fuck you nice and good, sweets," he nods, "Daddy's little fuckin slut. Fuckin cockslut."

"Ohgod," you gasp, and gush around his cock faster than you'd ever finished before, watching him pound you with determination and enraptured intensity. The tell-tale drip down your thigh tells you he came too, and you slide down the wall onto wobbling legs, waiting for coherent thought to return to you.

"Wow," is all you can say, and he drapes his arm around you as he leads you out to the moderately populated sidewalk. The late night crowds are out, but you feel safe with him... whoever he is.

"You want a smoke?" he mumbles, taking out a hand rolled one.

"No thanks." He holds his finger up to the end of it and it blazes, distorting your mind. Your heartbeat quickens. That's not possible. Is it?

That smarmy fucking grin gets you again, and you sigh softly as you fall into his arms one more time, opening your lips for him to shotgun the trapped smoke to you. His thumbs run the width of your hips, up to your belly, then his hands reach up to graze your neck in a way that sends shivers down your spine.

When he pulls away, you open your eyes. Where your mysterious older man had been, the cloud of smoke now settles.

[ba-hons-film-blog]

Film Narrative 2 - Fiction Project Critical Reflection:

Initial Idea, Story and Script:

The initial idea came from Euan, who had the broad idea of a door-to-door salesman trying to sell something. We then expanded the idea to have it follow a desperate, morally dubious salesman, who grows increasingly desperate in his efforts to sell his products to a vulnerable old woman. We liked the dubious morality of the idea, and the inner conflict this would give the (unnamed) Salesman. We also thought the two characters, who both had clear but conflicting objectives (the Salesman needs to secure a deal to provide for his family) and the elderly woman, Mrs Beale (who simply wants some company, and isn't interested in the Salesman’s pitch) would help to give the film some good narrative thrust, as Mrs Beale casually dismisses the Salesman’s pitches, and the Salesman then has to try a new, more dubious tactic to secure his sale.

I feel my main contributions were towards coming up with various story beats and character developments for the idea, and making some dialogue revisions to Euan’s second draft of the script. This is due to my interest in storytelling, and script writing. I personally feel like I made a good deal of suggestions for the plot which made it into the final script and feel my dialogue suggestions, while somewhat hurried and not overly polished, helped to expand certain beats where I felt the script rushed past a moment that could be used to create more tension or character. Overall, I feel happy with the final draft of the script, although I feel it was left slightly late, and would have liked to have had time to submit/review a few more drafts done by either Euan, myself or another member of the group, so as to fine tune each and every aspect of the script.

Pre Production Documents:

(For all pre production documents, go to this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15hR7u8XKGlIGuBE3ye0p2FvMvKXCiAJS)

While I did have some ideas for the films style (suggesting ideas like the tv show White Gold) and some ideas for certain shots which I shared with the group(like the opening shot were we see the Salesman who the neighbouring door slammed in his face), I feel I was more engaged with the story and script side of the project than I was with the production side. While that is more what I am interested in, I feel in the next project, I want to get more stuck into the pre production aspects, even if just for some variety and experience. I did do the logline and script synopsis, but that wasn't too far removed from my work with regards to the story and the script.

I think the group did a great job with their production documents, creating a clear sense of the film's style and cinematography. The only issue was sometimes a lack of communication between each person meant certain documents did not 100 percent lineup with each other (like the shot list and the storyboards feature differing shots) but overall, the documents weren’t too inconsistent with each other.

Editing:

I think the picture edit went well. This was my third time using avid (I had previously used it to edit a different scene from “Lethe” and a film of my own) so my this point I had more of an understanding of how to use the software. I tried to create a slow paced edit that generally stayed on the character of Eve as much as possible, as the story is told from her point of view. I feel I could have done a better job with regards to keeping the group up to date as my edit developed and getting their feedback, but I did get some good advice about my second edit from Zoe and group 4 in one tutorial that I took into consideration when working on my third edit.

I also attempted a sound edit using a free trial of Avid Ultimate, which was a good learning experience although ultimately I didn't feel too happy with my finished product. While I managed to raise the levels of the appropriate sounds, and avoided any jarring audio rises or any unnatural silences, I don't think I chose the best background sounds (I used the corridor and general hospital sounds for the whole video, as opposed to just using them at the end. This made the scene feel a bit too busy and overwhelming, and hearing some ambient room noise and beeping sounds throughout instead likely would have been a better choice). Ultimately, I felt the scene worked better before I added these sound effects. My edit didn't manage to export in time as well. We ultimately went with Rosie’s edit, although I still hope to rework mine at a later date.

Crit Feedback:

The logline and synopsis were praised for being intriguing (with regards to the logline), effectively summing up the events of the film (with regards to the synopsis) and overall being well written and well formatted. One shortcoming (or something that group 4 was complimented for having that we didn't have) was not making reference to the movie's style and genre. Additionally, while not necessary, a document describing the key characteristics of the main characters would have been a nice addition.

The rest of the pre production documents were well received. The storyboards by Cal were well drawn and gave a clear idea what the films cinematography would look like (although could have done with some text beneath each image), the costume/prop/set documents by Rosie gave a clear idea of the films style (as did the moodboard, although we were told some comments on each of the images would have helped) and the shotlist by Robbie was well formatted, and clear and concise with regards to what each shot would feature (despite some confusion over some of the abbreviations and the fact the storyboards and the shotlist did not completely line up).

Script Feedback:

(to follow. Apparently, Euan has not received this from Paul, which I will ask about and add once we have gotten the feedback)

Edit Feedback:

Here is the feedback Kieran gave me for my edit, along with my thoughts about it and how I would go about it differently in the future:

“Good professional practice with leader.”

“Atmospheric start, but the out of focus POV shot lasts too long.” - The reason this lasts for so long is to allow the character of Abe to slowly come into focus, to show how Eve is slowly waking up. However, I could definitely start the clip a few more seconds in and maybe cut of a second at the end, or just have a few seconds of a blurry Abe without a change in focus, although that might not be as effective.

“At 01:00:31:00 the scratching of the head doesn’t communicate tension and feels awkward.” - While I initially choose this part of the clip because I thought it would be interesting to have Kane doing something other than silently brooding, thinking about it again, I would agree with this, and would solve it by choosing a different part of the clip where Kane is simply standing still and looking ahead.

“It’s a good 40 seconds before anything really happens, which is too slow.” - I would agree with this - perhaps 20 seconds of build up could have been a good balance?

“Good reveal of the space at 01:00:47:04, using him turning around.” - Previously, this shot had been criticized for being too brief and seeming a bit random compared to the closer up shots used elsewhere. Despite this, I had kept it, as I felt it properly established the geography of the room and showed all the characters in relation to each other, so it was nice to hear Kieran liked this.

“The look at 01:00:59:00 is too short, allow the look to settle for a few frames before cutting to what someone is looking at to make it less jarring.” - I would agree with this. I'm not sure why I cut this so early, maybe the actor only looked over for a second and I worked with what I had, but I imagine more likely than not this was just an oversight.

“This whole section up to 01:02:13:00 is very good, but missing a reaction from him to her asking for the bed pan.” - I think I stayed on the shot of Eve instead of cutting to Kane purely because I liked his line delivery in that shot, but I could have either looked for a shot of Kane with line delivery of a similar quality or cut to Kane reacting to Eve’s line and then cut back to Eve and had Kane’s line.

“The watch pickup ECU is a little quick, as you haven’t established the watch previous to this and it is a key object.” - I would agree with this, and feel it could be solved by either having the watch appear earlier and only having it appear briefly here, or only having it appear here and holding on it longer to make up for that.

“Generally the pace is a little slow at the start and end, and this scene can’t sustain longer than 3 minutes.” - With a runtime of 3 minutes 23 seconds, and Kieran stating the scene couldn't sustain a runtime of over 3 minutes, this was understandably deemed too long. While I was going for a slower pace as opposed to a fast one, it may have been possible to have found a middle ground between the two. With the opening, I have already said that it could be whittled down to about 20 seconds. The ending might have been a bit more difficult to cut down, as it isn't just Eve lying in bed but going across the room and doing various things, but I still think I could have cut it down a bit. This could have been done by minimising the time Eve is simply crossing the room and looking through the bag, and giving a good amount of time to the more important beats, like the watch, the photo ID and the other bed.

Overall Reflection:

I think some more communication could have been a bit better, and we would have benefitted from a few more meetings, just to update each other, make sure we were on the same page and make sure there were no major differences in our work. I personally would have liked to have spent even more time fine turning the script, and getting in a few more drafts, but I am still quite happy with the submitted work. Despite this, I think everyone did a good job at their respective jobs and turned in work of high quality, and I look forward to working on the independent project with this feedback in mind.

[overdrivels]

could we get a continuation to "change of plans?" like genji's s/o eventually caves to his persistence and joins blackwatch. maybe explore what his s/o's time is like in the organization and how they get along with mccree? (i imagine genji was kinda snippy with him when they first met; i'm curious how their relationship developed over the years.)

A continuation to “Change of Plans”? I can’t say I’ve ever really thought of one, so this one took a little while. But I also very much like exploring character development, so I’mma play around with this a little. At this point, tensions between Blackwatch and Overwatch are starting to plateau. It turned into less of a Genji x Reader and more of a general story that went off on a weird tangent. 

The stress was mounting, and it was coming on fast.

The screens that surrounded you had different articles from varying news sources of the decay of Overwatch, and the dark underbelly known as Blackwatch. Topographical maps for the next mission are also up, enemy posts and potential points of interests such as chokepoints and strongholds are all highlighted by blips of red and green, connected by lines that illustrated theoretical attack and escape routes.

You work tirelessly into the night for your first mission plan in Blackwatch. It took Genji roughly four months, a mock proposal, several handwritten letters, several more stunts (some which may or may not have involved the usage of his shurikens), and long conversation after the failure of a Blackwatch mission to get you to join.

Even now, you don’t know if this is what you should be doing. More than once in the past, you found yourself glad to have been in Overwatch and Genji in Blackwatch. Your missions and his would never intersect, at least, not directly. And it was a boon you both, despite Genji’s insistence to the contrary.

Even now as you continue to study the map, bringing up holograms of buildings, you can’t be sure you belong here.

“Huh. So you’re the newbie.”

Genji steps in front of you defensively before you even have a chance to open your mouth. “What do you need, McCree.” It is much closer to a threat than an actual question, and the sudden change in demeanor makes your head spin just once around. You’re barely able to take a breath, the tension thick.

“Can’t a guy just introduce himself to a new member?” The man says all too casually.

You look at the man Genji calls ‘McCree’ carefully. If he finds him to be dubious, then there’s no reason on your end to doubt that. He meets your gaze and nods at you, then at Genji. “Awfully cute. I hope that’s not their only redeeming feature?”

“McCree!” Genji drops to his stance, and McCree’s hand swings down to his holster, a triumphant grin spreading on his face.

“Hey! Get out of here, you’re blocking up the halls.” Both Genji and McCree jump to attention at once. You yourself take a moment before you realize it’s Gabriel Reyes, your new commander. He stands there impatiently, waiting for all of you to disperse.

McCree takes off his hat for moment, and holds it to his chest. “‘scuse me, boss. Just practicin’ my manners.”

“I didn’t employ for your manners. Don’t you have a mission to prepare for?”

McCree’s eyes fall on you, and places his hat back, his drawl becoming languid but purposeful. “I’ll prepare once th’mission plan’s complete. Wouldn’t want to charge in without one now, would I?”

“What did you say?” There is no mistaking the sharp ‘kshink’ of shuriken slipping out from Genji’s mechanical arm.

“Genji.” Reyes’s voice is stern, and even Genji knows to step back. “Now quit standing here, you all have work to do.”

McCree tips his hat at the commander and gives you a wonk before departing whereas Genji takes you by the arm and hurries you both away. But before you can get completely out of earshot, Reyes says, “I expect results good things from you.”

That was about a week ago. Gabriel has since given you further details on the mission you were to conduct the research for. A factory building omnics needs to be shut down, but as the factory itself builds consumer robots as well, there is a strong opposition against Overwatch’s ‘help’. And so, this mission must be completed with the utmost secrecy and care as to not pin the blame on Overwatch or Blackwatch.

You don’t sleep even when Genji urges you to do so. He will be carrying this plan out along with a small team of two others. You have to get this right. The pages of your carefully crafted plans laid out on the screens before you, and tab after tab of contingencies wait quietly. Profiles of each agent is on a different screen, meticulously gathered statistics fill the space underneath their pictures. The office space (more of a control center) was still bustling with other agents who were trying to perfect the last of their operation plans.

The sun is already rising when you have your plan fully compiled and ready to be presented. When you arrive at your new boss’s door, your nerves rattle. Perhaps you should have asked Genji to accompany you, but quickly shake it from your mind. No, you need to be proud of your plan and sure of it. Some other members have already given it a once-over and approved of it, so there was only the final hurdle.

You won’t disappoint.

“Come in.”

“Good morning, Commander Reyes. I’m here to present my plans for Operation Garm.”

Gabriel looks through the file he’s been presented, mouth drawn in a hard line. It didn’t even take a minute for him to put it down, and tap a finger against it. You straighten your back in attention. You were going to get questioned. This is normal. You are ready. You believe in your plan.

“This,” he says slowly, “is built from your concern for their safety.”

You hold your head high. You can’t falter when it comes to presenting your ideas. “Yes.”

He laces his fingers together, regarding you with a casual expression, but his eyes are shrewd. “It’s good, but your plan is not suited for my men.”

Your brain sinks straight to the ground, and you utter a shaky, “…excuse me?”

“My men can take care of themselves; they don’t need a plan that gets them back safely. They need a plan that will complete the mission.”

You take a step forward, weariness stripping you of your filter. “But sir, with all due respect, if we don’t take the necessary precautions, our agents wi–”

“We need a plan that will stop the production of these omnics before someone uses them for something they’re not meant for, agent, not a plan that forces my men to drop out at the first sign of trouble.”

Your mind splutters for a moment. Didn’t he realize that this factory was also outfitted with state-of-the-art security bots? If the agents engaged them in a fire fight, they’d lose. Heck, if they engaged any of them in any sort of skirmish, they’d immediately alert everyone in the vicinity–the whole city will converge on them and trap them and then Blackwatch will be implicated. Among these agents were Genji, and if he suffered any more than he already has then…

“I can’t compromise the safety of our agents for any reason,” you say breathlessly.

“You are compromising the mission.”

His word ignites your anger. The mission? Did he care at all about how his men acted? About securing points for them to rest? Their equipment? Nothing? Just the mission itself? Frustration eats at you in relentless chucks, and you try to get the impassive man in front of your to understand.

“I know I’m out of line, but because of that sort of thinking, Blackwatch is getting into more and more trouble! Our plans need to have our agents carefully consider their actions and take them carefully.”

“Because of your thinking, we’re going to end up with more casualties. We don’t do things half-assed here.” The words ‘like Overwatch’ hung unspoken in the air.

Embers inside you become a flame. How dare he.

“I didn’t know you were this sort of man,” you hiss, patience long evaporated.

“And I didn’t know you had so little faith in our agents,” he responds coolly.  

“I have faith in them! That’s why–”

“–that’s why you created a plan that forsakes the mission. That is not faith.” He takes a dramatic pause to look you in the eye and whispers, “That’s fear.”

Perhaps it’s because he’s absolutely right and he dug straight to the core of it and yanked it out without regard, or perhaps it’s because he’s entirely wrong and there’s nothing cowardly about prioritizing the survival of your teammates, but you shout, “I CARE about our agents, I’m not going to send them off to die!”

“Cool your head,” Gabriel orders, unfazed by your outburst having dealt with much, much worse. “Come back to me with a new plan with the mission as priority. I want it on my desk by the end of day, tomorrow.”

You salute half-heartedly and turn your heel, instantly more angry as the door slides open instead of granting you the satisfaction of slamming it behind you. The silence you leave behind in Gabriel’s room is tense even without your presence, but from a blind spot in the room, hidden behind a cabinet and a wall, McCree emerges, a low whistle escaping his lips.

Gabriel remains motionless, face still hidden behind crossed fingers.

“Ain’t that a lil’ too harsh, boss? First plan ‘n all.” There is little sympathy in his voice however.

“I already said it: I have faith in my men.”

Jesse skims over the plans strewn over Gabriel’s desk with mild interest, and scoffs after the first few bullet points. “Genji’s nabbed a sweetie, but sweetness ain’t got anyone nowhere; Blackwatch ain’t for bleedin’ hearts.” Again, he looks over the papers. “Awfully nice of ‘em though,” he adds as an afterthought.

Gabriel does not agree, but he does not refute it either, getting up from his chair, your plans in hand.

Zenyatta catches you storming out of Gabriel’s office. It is strange to see the omnic walking around Blackwatch territory, but then again, it isn’t as though you knew exactly where he goes all the time.

The omnic waves at you. “Greetings.”

“Agent Zenyatta,” you politely nod in his direction which he returns in kind. You have worked with him before, arranging for reinforcements and protection whenever he goes on his trips to negotiate on behalf of Overwatch. However, with the recent troubles Overwatch seems to have gotten into, Zenyatta’s job was becoming more and more difficult to handle–no protection meant an easy target, but more protection meant bringing in hostilities to any diplomatic meetings. It was a horrid paradox.

“You seem distressed. Is something the matter?”

An immediate ‘no’ comes to your mouth on the account of your pride, but remains there. Of course something was the matter, but how could you even begin to tell someone unrelated to the situation that ‘oh, it’s no big deal, it’s just that one of my plans that I slaved many nights over just got rejected when I’ve been doing the same damn thing for YEARS and isn’t good enough because apparently I care too much’. The frustration that gnaws at you is beyond words.

Zenyatta, sensing your trepidation, says, “Perhaps elsewhere then.”

It doesn’t take long before you unleash your torrent of grievances and insecurities on Zenyatta, who pries them out of you with practiced ease. You both talk and talk–other rather, you talk and he listens, an occasional nod of his head or a helpful quip to show he is listening.

It’s late into the afternoon by the time you both part ways, your chest already lighter without the burden of your troubles.

“I heard about what happened with Reyes,” is the first thing Genji says when he sees you in the canteen. He doesn’t normally eat, at least not a lot, but he needs the structure of pretending by ordering it anyway.

“He went over it with us,” he continues as you shovel another forkful of food into your mouth. “I told him we should do it.”

You almost choke. “You wha–”

“I believe in your plans, that’s why I asked for you to transfer here. I believe in you.” His words are resolute, even more so than you are about your own ideas. There is a fire in his voice that transfers over, warming you.

“Genji…”

“I trust your plans. I made that clear to Reyes today.”

You immediately perk up. “Is he…”

“He says he will think on it more, but still wants another plan. He was just…hesitant because it is not Blackwatch’s way of doing things.” Genji says slowly, his human hand resting reassuringly on your thigh.

You grumble slightly. “Then what is Blackwatch’s way?”

The cybernetic robot does not answer for a long while, but when he does, you nearly drop your drink. “Perhaps not the right way.”

In the end, you go see Commander Reyes again, and with some slight modifications to the original one, he begrudgingly accepts it with a warning that follows you throughout the whole time you await the results of the mission. “Your intentions are good, but they’re going to come bite you.”

You tell him with unwavering confidence that they won’t. You’ve designed many plans and spearheaded several projects for Overwatch, and this should not be any different. The only difference is your faction and the fact you’re sending someone you’re intimately close to on a mission of your design.

“I trust you, so you better come back safely,” you say to Genji just before he leaves.

He gives your hand a squeeze, and you realize just how cold yours are in comparison to his. “And I trust your plans, so I will. Do not doubt that I won’t.”

You let him go reluctantly, and watch as he joins the other members of the team who then shortly disappear into the dead of the night. You can only hope it goes well.

But hope by itself does not manage to put a damper on Murphy’s Law. The mission goes terribly. The three-man team was forced to abort almost immediately upon reaching the target, unable to execute any contingencies while under siege by the city’s police force which you had not anticipated to be so deeply entangled in this mess.

The agents managed to have their lives spared, a bloodless escape that was long calculated into the plan coupled by Commander Reyes’s supervision, but the mission itself–

Plastered all over the news in another smear campaign against the tyranny of Overwatch and Blackwatch, who in their words, are attempting to make themselves relevant by now interfering with the daily lives of civilians. Some even suspect that Overwatch sends Blackwatch to create havoc so that Overwatch themselves may come in to ‘rescue’ everyone, securing their position in the world as peace-keepers while secretly doling out evil deeds.

The stories becomes unbearably ridiculous, and is reported suspiciously quick.

However, you were deaf to all of this, rushing desperately to the medical bay, Gabriel hot on your heels. Genji. He sits in one of the offices alongside the other two agents who accompanied him, clearly agitated but uninjured–just like your plan dictated. But when he catches sight of you, breathless and wide-eyed, he immediately gets up.

“I’m sorry. Your plan–”

You don’t bother letting him finish, flinging your arms around his shoulders, still mindful of the tubes and wires that protrude from his back. Relief and anguish tumble inside you, fighting their way out at once. “Thank god–thank god you’re okay, I’m just so glad you’re not hurt, I’m so sorry, Genji–”

You babble on and on, Genji’s touches and reassurances unable to soothe you. You fell into the exact trap that you yourself had spoken against prior to joining Blackwatch. How could it have gone so badly? It wasn’t supposed to be this way–it was supposed to be simple, an in-and-out mission with all factors accounted for.

“That’s enough, good to see you all still alive,” says Gabriel, stepping forward. Genji untangles himself from you, and joins the other two agents in rigid salute.

“Thank you. sir,” they all say in unison.

“Gabriel Reyes.” All of you jump, except the man in question, jumps at the irritable and booming voice.

“Jack.”

“The hell was that? Operation Garm. Not even Zenyatta is going to be able to put out this fire you’ve caused.” The blond commander was practically seething, angrier and more exhausted than you’ve ever seen him. You meekly step forward, a growing dread in your stomach.

“I’m sorry, sir, that–”

“Yeah, I sanctioned it. Got a problem with that?” Gabriel practically shields you with his body without actually seeming to do so. Sharp blue eyes turn toward your new commander.

“Let’s take in this my office.”

There is no room for argument in Commander Morrison’s order, and he turns tail, fully expecting Gabriel to follow. Gabriel gives you something of a sympathetic look, he pats your shoulder with a heavy hand and squeezes, a slight resemblance of comfort and reassurance, before he dismisses everyone with a nod of his chin and follows after Jack.

Genji and yourself stand there for several long moments, and you try to wrap your head around what’s just happened and what you have gotten yourself into.

[subparatbestcomics]

Artist’s Commentary

Rather than a new page this week, I will instead be reviewing and providing commentary for the previous 10 pages published. For the most part I will be going over my own mistakes, as well as explaining some of the choices made, and whether or not they worked. Before we start however, I would like to note these pages are not complete, but more of a rough draft. There are several reasons for this. One major reason, is that it has been several years since I have drawn with any regularity. Producing a page each week will, I hope, shake off the rust. Additionally, neither my or my brother's hardware is up to the task of rendering RFO. One day, RFO may see an updated version that better fits our mutual vision of this project. And so, the commentary begins. RFO 1 -Jude Anderson lives in a poor neighborhood; identical row houses with unkempt lawns and no decoration outside. -My first mistake was leaving the sky blank. Its meant to be near midnight, but the bright sky and lack of shading imply otherwise. -Jude's front door and the paneling on it will change in scale just about every panel. Partly, this is because there was no consistent model. -Jude's house -interior and exterior- were modeled in Lego Digital Designer. -Jude's house number is 616, a less popular interpretation of the number of the beast. -My original attempt at this was painted in photoshop. The foreshortened fences were an absolute nightmare. I'm still not too happy about them as drawn now, but its still better than it was. -I forgot to shade the first floor window shutters. Oops. RFO 2 -Jude is whistling the ever popular 'Happy Birthday'. I’m not totally certain about the notation here, because I haven't had to read music since middle school. (side note: This song recently entered the public domain) -Jude's outfit was inspired by Back to the Future's Marty McFly. -I forgot to put a candle in the birthday apple pie. -You may notice Jude has no visible fridge in his kitchen. Jude cant afford a full fridge, or fit it in his kitchen. Instead, anything he needs cold is kept in a basement mini-fridge. -Jude’s facial features and hair take inspiration from Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers of Scooby Doo. -You may notice the quality of characters hands changing. Hands are still difficult for me, but I'm hoping to improve. -My brother pointed out that the carpet in Jude's living room looks like grass. I'm not really certain how one draws carpet. -The leftmost painting depicts two figures with an arm around the others shoulder. A third figure appears later, but there is no story significance, I just forgot what it was supposed to be. RFO 3 -The overly enthusiastic individual at Jude's door is meant to be androgynous. I feel I made them a little too masculine -The design on the handbag clearly denotes a christian denomination, although not any specific one. I wanted it to be generic, but evocative of several things. (a cross, a sword, an angel, a shooting star, etc) -While it was done primarily to help them stand out, the white outline around the stranger nicely implies a holy glow. -I'm most proud of this page, and how uncomfortable and annoyed Jude is by this stranger interrupting his birthday and asking about religion at midnight. -Several of these pages were first sketched in faint colored pencil. Its not meant to show up when scanned, but clearly that didn't work quite as advertised. -You may notice proportions are inconsistent, especially regarding head size. Like most of my mistakes, I did not notice until it was already too late to fix without starting the whole page over. -The handbag is unshaded in the last panel. RFO 4 -I'm not sure how I feel about these sound effects in retrospect. I'm still toying with how they work. -One habit I need to break is placing speech bubbles too close to the papers edge. The scanner sometimes cuts them! -As Jude gets more confused and frustrated by strangers popping up at or in his house, his hair gets wilder. -Jude's house layout is similar to several I personally have been in. RFO 5 -I'm not happy at all with the posing of the officer; they're so stiff and lifeless. While I could try to pass it off as part of the stranger's idea of how a police officer asks, the truth is that even when my skills weren't rusty; posing was never my strong suit. -Some panels have blank backgrounds partly due to laziness on my part, and partly so the paper could be held without smearing -The officer's nametag reads 'GATES'.This, along with his unusual badge and emblems, indicate that this is still the same person who was at Jude's door only a minute before. RFO 6 -I don't have much to say about this page, except that the officers uniform is visibly becoming simpler by the panel. This is because drawing those details was hurting my wrist. In the future I will try to be more economical with character design. RFO 7 -If the past ten weeks have taught me anything, its that I should plan out what I'm going to do more thoroughly. Jude's speech balloon was drawn first, and ended up over the other man's crotch. Now it looks stupid. -The officer (stranger) tends to be to Jude left, while the other man tends to the right. -The middle left panel is another I'm proud of, not for any major thing, but because tilting the head is difficult for me to do on purpose; especially when the part of the head where the jaw meets the neck is visible, but I think I did okay here. -The hard angles and edges of the final speech balloon show the officer is stern and serious. It is also shaped like a stop sign. RFO 8 -While the officer is still left of Jude (to the viewer), he is now right of the other man. Left positioning in RFO signifies benevolence, right signifies malice. It could have been the opposite just as easily, but sometimes you have to make an arbitrary choice for theming purposes. -The other man's hair forms horns on the sides and a tail in the back whereas the officer's (stranger's) hair is more flowing and wing-like. -Jude only owns one other jacket, as seen in his barren closet. -The officer's proportions in the bottom left are so off, I'm not sure why I thought it looked okay. -The other man's outfit and personality are meant to evoke a stereotypical used car salesman. Also Rodney Dangerfield! RFO 9 -Not much to say here. I will continue to simplify the style until an equilibrium is met between making things look good versus not destroying my wrist. -Also, the other man's sleeve in the first panel is missing its vertical stripes. RFO 10 -Jude's face in the last panel seems off to me. I don't quite know why, and I'm the one who drew it. -When I originally planned this page out, there was too much vertical space. It would have left me either having to draw their legs (which would been difficult with the furniture in the scene at leg height) or leaving a terrible amount of dead air above their heads. Instead, I tried to do something more visually interesting with that negative space, by making the last two panels more diagonal than horizontal.                                                                                                                                       Jacob Birmingham