#I'm at a party and deeply overwhelmed as we speak so yeah

[pizzapasta23045]

SO VERY THRILLED YOU BROUGHT UP CREPUS BEC I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM

(Also minor correction he didn't Give Diluc his delusion, Diluc took it off his corpse bc he didn't know what it was and then spiraled down his like three year long revenge path trying to figure out it's origins)

The way I've structured it in my mind, Diluc's mother died in some like. Accident or something that scared Crepus because, yk, his aspirations had always been to get into the Knights and protect people but because he never got a Vision and was apparently not trained enough to pass the exam he was never able to? So he turned to the Fatui out of anxiety centered around keeping Diluc safe, took Kaeya in so Diluc would have a friend and company to watch his back, and then sort of pushed both Kaeya and Diluc into the Knights so he would be certain they would be able to defend themselves (while he made deals with the Fatui to try and keep them safe in the background) (Which obviously backfired)

The way Crepus died specifically was the Fatui using Ursa the Drake as a baited weapon (which I have separate theories about that I won't get into) to go after Crepus... which is interesting because it means that 1) It was pre-meditated 2) Crepus had to have done something for the Fatui to suddenly want him dead

SO. My theory is that because Diluc and Kaeya were older now, (Diluc yk, turning 18 the night that Crepus resigned himself to giving up his Delusion (as seen in the comic)), he decided that he didn't need the Fatui to give him a sense of security for the ragbros. They can properly defend themselves in ways he can't, and they don't need him watching their backs anymore.

The Fatui, obviously, didn't like that. Maybe Crepus knew too much, maybe they just didn't actually like him, but one way or another they killed him,,,

Which on a side note, makes me wonder if Kaeya knew something about Crepus' dealings with the Fatui. If he could sense the power the Delusion held, or if he, wanting to be aware of as much going on around him at all times, caught onto some things that Diluc missed (Fatui stamps on mail, Schneznayan diplomats saying things like "The Harbinger(s?) send their regards", listening in on snippets of meetings through Crepus' office door, etc). Because I think Kaeya wouldn't try to get in Crepus' way with the Fatui, I think he'd understand having secret dealings with alternate organizations, because that's basically what HE does, so he lets it be.

Which also makes me wonder if the reason we don't hear Kaeya's praise of Crepus is because he considers Crepus to be similar if not the same as him,,,

In the manga, I think, he says he was planning to give Diluc his delusion (or a different one but still a delusion) but didn't because he got a vision and didn't need it anymore. That's what I was referring to, obviously it didn't happen but he did consider it and stuff.

And yeah, I don't know, I feel like shit's more shady than we see in game currently, imo. Like, I don't know, I just have a feeling.

Mostly because of Diluc's overwhelming rage when Kaeya confessed whatever he did. Because his rage feels a little bit out of proportion, to be honest.

Like, what does he know about the socio-political shit in Khaenri'ah. He'd definitely still be upset but not physically maiming irreparably him kind of upset. But he would've been if Kaeya told him something more fundamental to Diluc's life,like something about the state of the world itself or a question of Crepus' innocence.

But yeah, they're definitely parallels of each other, Crepus and Kaeya. Both of them hiding secrets from family and being related to shady networks.

[thedreadvampy]

hahaha sweet vindication I went to a fuckin. uh so we have an inclusion and diversity working group at work and a subgroup of that which meets separately for LGBT+ inclusion. which is the fun one. the party group.

anyway got onto the teams call and both the other people in the room were already talking about how fucked up the last Inclusion and Diversity meeting was. you know the one where I suggested we might be a bit overwhelmingly white at 98% White People On Staff and maybe we should do something about it and the senior director pitched a defensive fit and started talking about how it's "never been a priority" in the fully white room of people driving the diversity agenda and how it's FINE because we sometimes work with BAME client groups and maybe people of colour just don't WANT to work here for NO PARTICULAR REASON? that meeting?

very nice to hear that everyone except the two people getting defensive left that meeting going WHAT THE FUCK and immediately went to talk to their colleagues about the whiteness problem in this workplace.

so the HR team are now talking among themselves about how to emphasise that it does need to be a priority, two Asian members of staff have sent emails to the I&D group diplomatically saying "hey here's why the overwhelming whiteness is a deeply affecting problem for me and makes me feel unsafe at work", and in the LGBT group we are discussing how to use the budget we already have allocated for improving LGBT+ inclusivity to Trojan horse in some data gathering that will demonstrate that no actually the problem is not "mysterious whiteness" there's an addressable systemic issue

so once again "being too angry to let it go" is playing out positively. my friends. start shit when people talk shit, is my policy 😘 saying 'hey that seems fucked up' in a meeting where nobody else is saying it has almost always, in my experience, had the effect of other people going YEAH ACTUALLY IT IS FUCKED UP I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON THINKING THAT WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

cause managers love to make you feel like you're being ridiculous and Just Don't Understand and if you speak up everyone will laugh at you. but you understand fine! and if you ask a polite question, either someone will have an obvious answer to give you and you can move on, or, more often, they won't have a good answer and other people will be like 'hey yeah that's a shit answer! why did we accept that as obvious?'

in my entire professional life this 'if you feel uncomfortable with something, question it out loud' approach has gone wrong like. a single figure number of times. and right almost every time. is all I'm saying. not cause I'm usually right but cause it requires people to think about what they're saying.

[c-is-for-circinate]

EXU Calamity post-ep 1

Jesus, EXU Calamity is going to be so fucking good.

I think it says a lot, probably, that my two favorite characters so far are the ones with the least magic to their names -- paladin and rogue, well, we all know I love paladins and also Travis, I would, but also, they're not wizards. Of course they're the best characters here. In this glittering, towering sky castle, palace and cathedral to artifice and hubris and the belief that, with enough learning, you can encompass the entire universe, Zerxus and Cerrit learned to do things beyond just Arcane Magic, and I respect that deeply about them.

Which is not to say that I don't love everyone at the table! I definitely love everyone at the table! And I'm going to love this game.

I think tonight's takeaway -- the thing I'm going to be sitting with for a while, maybe this whole miniseries -- is this feeling of, 'oh huh some people might be starting some shit, we might have to deal with that.' The way that feeling maybe goes as far as, 'oh it's gonna suck to have to deal with that'. A rival city might be doing some major weapons testing in ways that speak of potential future war -- so we're going to have to keep up our arms race, our politics, this is high-level government decisionmaking but it's exactly the kind of decisionmaking that explains why high-level government even exists. There's a weird, sketchy crime scene -- ugh, got another copycat-wannabe trying to ascend to godhood, put it on the pile.

The sense is that, for this crew of people, even this latest creep might've succeeded in unlatching the cages of some betrayer god or another is more of that same! More of that, 'well this is going to suck to deal with', the kind that bypasses even asking the question of "um, can we deal with it?" Of course we can deal with it. That's why we built flying cities and magic that redirects flight and rivers and natural disasters at every turn, to deal with the vagaries of gods, to take control of our own destiny.

They sit at this party and they hear, Vespin Chloras may have unlatched the door on the Betrayer Gods' tomb, and that sounds like some shitty days somebody's gonna have, probably. That sounds like a problem we need to do something about for sure. That sounds like the pitch to an action movie.

It sounds like something they think they can do something about. They hear ancient, cataclysmic, soul-of-the-universe true deities, and they think, yeah ok sure, what's one more problem I have to solve before breakfast. They think gods are a thing that can be defeated. They think on a scale of mortals.

The thing is -- the thing that makes me so, so excited for this game -- is that Brennan Lee Mulligan understands the scale on which gods operate. He understands how much vaster and stranger and more overwhelming a god is than any mere mortal, however powerful. He's going to make sure the players learn it. Maybe by dying. Maybe by surviving, to see the change their wars will bring to the whole world they've known.

There's more to be said after I sleep, but I loved this. It was so so good. I can't wait for more.

[cynamonowo]

60 for aitsf? maybe with date and mizuki but i'm happy with anything that strikes your fancy :-)

ough it took a while but. here we go besties i ended up making this a sort of a sequel to a certain fic of mine i posted in november ;3 hope ya enjoy (endgame spoilers)

60. “Happy birthday.”

***

Whenever Mizuki would stop by Marble, either to chat with Mama or pick up Date, she’d find the place to be a time capsule. Always the same music, the same decor. The cloying scent of Mama’s perfumes and alcohol, drilling itself into her nostrils, the cigarette smoke soaking into her clothes, rows and rows of bottles with loud labels. She sits by the bar, crossing her legs and demurely lying her hands on the counter.

“Ah, Miss Mizuki!” Appearing from the backroom, Mama beams at her, clasping her palms together. “It’s been a while!”

Mizuki laughs awkwardly. “Good evening, Mama. It’s nice to see you.”

“Such a polite young woman, you. You must be, ah, twenty now, right? My, haven’t you grown… Makes a woman like me feel old.”

“Uh, yeah, I actually turn twenty in-” she checks her watch “-ten minutes?”

Clicking her tongue, Mama shakes her head. “And you’re not out there partying with your friends instead of coming by here?”

“Actually,” Mizuki says, scratching her nose, “I’m here to meet with Date.” 

"Oh, yes, he did mention you've left the nest! How the time passes…"

She moved out a few months ago, staying at the dorms close by the campus, nominally to shorten the drive there - but mostly because of his insisting they can’t be living while attached at the hip. She can tell it was his therapist’s suggestion, though, and quietly disagrees. Her roommates are okay, they don’t bother her too much, but - no one steals her pudding. No one talks to themself for hours on end. She shouldn’t miss it. She does. 

Her own therapist says she doesn’t do well with change - what a surprise. After the events of eight years ago and the ensuing pandemic-caused two years of basically not leaving the house, Mizuki finds herself, paradoxically, longing for the tableau of every day being the same. No surprises. No changes. Waking up, school, therapy, spending time with Date, going to sleep. Ordering groceries online, cooking the same things every week, not having to deal with stores full of bright lights and loud advertisements, people bumping into her as they mill around. The first few times they left the house after lockdown, either she had a meltdown or Date would get that empty look on his face when stuff got overwhelming; he couldn’t speak more than three words at a time for hours. Despite being a teenager, she would hold onto his hand or clothes, his gaze constantly flicking to her with worry. Once, his concern would annoy her. Then - it was normal. It was their normal, pieced together from the fragments after the storm. Who cares if it wasn’t too healthy? It was ugly and patchy and theirs. It was paid for in blood and death. 

Well. At least she no longer wishes it was her death. That’s progress. 

“Oh, he hasn’t been here for a few weeks now,” Mama says, unaware of the turmoil inside Mizuki’s head. “Such a shame, but I’m not too surprised.”

“Mm?”

“What happened with Ren, Shoko, and the others…” Mama’s expression grows more serious. “I still can’t believe his own boss would do that! I met her, you know? She seemed like such a sweet woman who cared so deeply about Date, yet she went and did this! And your parents, Mizuki! How could someone do that?!”

Biting her tongue, Mizuki nods. It’s okay. Mama doesn’t know the truth. Only four people in the entire world know. Saito’s dead anyway. It’s over. It’s been over for almost a decade now. Her hands curl, nails digging into the soft flesh.

“I know,” she says, quiet, hoarse. Mama pats her on the wrist, then turns to the entrance as the door opens.

“Oh hello honey!”

“Hi, Mama, hi, Mizuki.” Taking a seat by her side, Date pulls her for a quick side-hug. “Nice haircut.”

Grinning, Mizuki rubs the shaved part of her head. “You could take a page out of my book, y’know?”

“Are we having this conversation again?” Date sighs. 

“You do look quite girlish, sweetheart,” Mama chimes in, innocent. Mizuki reaches to tug on Date’s hair, today kept under control in a messy braid. During the lockdown, both of them stopped caring about their appearances, and it seems a part of that mindset still remains with him, considering he has let his hair grow out again. It’s likely he’ll chop it off one day with kitchen shears whenever he gets pissy about washing it again. What a nerd.

Mizuki sobers a little. The aftermath of Saito’s string of murders was tough on everyone involved, the quarantine not helping in the slightest. She’d have nightmares every other day, ones that would yank her out of sleep and have her throw up on the floor. Seeing raw meat would cause her hands to tremble. All of her classmates slowly grew distant, first offering insipid condolences, then ghosting her on NILE after graduation. In middle school, the online classes prevented them from forming closer bonds, even after they met up in person. Not like Mizuki was going out of her way to befriend them, preferring to sit by herself with a book. High school was much the same - no clubs, no extra activities, blowing off anyone who tried to chat with her. She’d come home right after classes and hang out with Date, watching TV or playing video games. With So Sejima’s money inherited, he quit his job at the MPD after a year of medical leave. Her skin crawls when she remembers the reason, the blood on the bathroom tiles, the thick scars running up the inside of his forearms, how his voice cracked when he told her the deaths were his fault. The lines of pill bottles, reminders on her phone for both of them to take their meds. Therapy has helped, yeah, but till she moved out, they’d spend a lot of time glued to each other’s side, Mizuki’s head on Date’s shoulder, his arm around her, spending the anniversaries cuddled on the couch, eating shitty junk food and barely talking. Once, Pewter came by, after he took over ABIS, and he and Date had a quiet conversation, one Mizuki did not even try to eavesdrop on. The floor by the trashcan ended up littered with empty beer bottles, Pewter sleeping over on a pullout mattress, thanking Date in the morning, giving Mizuki a faint smile. The only survivors. Each day a fight, more or less exhausting. And this is her victory. This is the sliver of life she carved out of this wrong end of the tunnel.

She checks her phone. Seven more minutes. Leaning against Date, she passively listens to his chat with Mama, puns, innuendo, et cetera. This time, it doesn’t seem like he has no heart for it. Good. She’s happy for him, even though the jokes are disgusting.

When there’s a pause, she horns in. “By the way, why did you want to meet with me here?”

“You really don’t know?” Date gives her a look. “Kid, your first drink should be under adult supervision.”

“So… you told me to come to Marble just before midnight, just because you want to have a drink with me.” Mizuki wrinkles her nose. “That’s so on brand, dude.”

"And yet you're still here," he points out. "C'mon, don't say you're going to bail on me."

"Can't have Mama dealing with your crap by herself." She sighs. In a more joking tone, she adds, "At least say you've got me a nice gift, old man."

"Hey, I'm not even forty, that's not old," Date bites back, but as soon as the words leave his mouth his expression sours. Right. Were he in the original body, he'd be around fifty, right? Mizuki brushes her fingertips over his wrist; he looks away, grimacing. Mama gazes at them, thick brows furrowing, before flapping her hand, clearly unwilling to know more than she needs to.

"Mizuki, honey, in this case let me know what sort of drink you want to take your alcohol virginity," she drawls out, salacious. 

"How vulgar," Date says to himself. Mama rolls her eyes.

"She's almost twenty! She can handle such talk!"

"Still. Gross. That's my daughter you're talking about." Shaking his head, he leans back in his chair. "There's still six minutes left till she's officially an adult, so for now give us two waters, Mama."

"Still a stickler for rules," Mama says wistfully but does as asked. When she hands Mizuki her glass, she says conspiratorially, her voice a theatrical whisper, "Don't worry about him, sweetie, I gave you some vodka."

"Liar," Date murmurs as Mizuki sniffs the clear liquid. "I may not be a cop anymore, but you're still not going to risk losing your license."

He's right. It is just water. Mizuki giggles into her hand, and Date throws her the told-you-so glance. She elbows him, and he smirks before passing her an earpiece.  The door opens to let in another client, Mama instantly moving to tend to him. The earbud in, Mizuki rests her cheek on her hand to muffle her voice, Date mirroring her. 

"Good evening, Mizuki," Aiba says. "I would wish you a happy birthday but we still have a few minutes to go."

"Hi, Aiba," Mizuki murmurs, unable to hide her grin. "How are you doing? Date not pissing you off too bad?"

"I'm still here, y'know," Date mutters with a pout. Mizuki throws him her brattiest eye roll. 

"I'm talking to Aiba, dummy. Don't interrupt."

"Hey, she's in my skull, how do you expect me to tune you two out?"

Despite no longer being an ABIS agent, he got to keep Aiba after a lot of whining on all sides. After she refused to work with another cop and Pewter got very offended at the idea of reprogramming her to remedy that, Aiba was officially classified as a disability aid so Date could have her. Mizuki is pretty sure there was some bribery involved, but does not ask. With how much money So left him, Date has replaced his audio system and sofa (what a dork) before donating a good chunk to charity. So must be rolling in his grave. 

Well. In Iris's grave. The body they buried in pouring November rain was inhabited by Boss, if only for a few minutes. In her body was Saito. In Daddy's, Iris. And Mom was dead for a year without anyone knowing. Mizuki did not suspect a thing, with Mom acting just as usual, cold and distant, complaining about her daughter's appearance and behavior dripping down her tongue like blood. She never smiled. She also never hit her the few times she and Mizuki saw each other. Granted, Mizuki would have told Date and he'd make good on his threats to report her for child abuse, and that'd ruin Saito's plan. But maybe if he lost control… Maybe if he played his role too well, no one else would have to die. Mizuki would gladly trade a few slaps and pushes and punches for not having to attend a multitude of funerals, not having to find her guardian half dead in their own bathroom, not having to pretend, for years and years, wishing for a different future, cursing herself for being a stupid child, stupid, blind kid who didn't know anything, isn't worth anything-

"Mizuki," Aiba says softly. "Are you alright?"

"You've been staring at nothing for a while now," Date adds, placing his hand on her back. Mizuki meets his eyes and smiles grimly.

"Got lost in thoughts," she says. "It's okay, though."

"Really?"

"Yup. Don't worry, old man." This time, she can muster up a better smile. "It is what it is."

"Hm," Aiba says, clearly not convinced, but doesn't push the matter. "In any case, I hope you are doing well, Mizuki."

She cringes. "Yeah, more or less? Today my roommate woke me up at five in the morning because she started blasting some eighties pop to, uh, get pumped up for the day. I almost had a heart attack."

"At least she has good taste," says Date, and Mizuki makes a face at him, remembering all those days she'd come home from school and find him lying facedown on the floor, listening to disco - which he'd call his "me time". Mizuki thinks he's full of shit. 

"If only I wasn't subjected to it before a coffee," she grumbles. "I had, like, three today."

"That's quite a lot," Aiba says. "Please ensure you consume enough magnesium to make up for what the caffeine has washed out of your system." 

"Sure, Mom." 

"Hey, she's worried," Date says with a pointed look. "Who the hell knows what kind of shit you're gonna pull when unsupervised?"

"Takes one to know one!"

"Like father, like daughter," Aiba adds cheerfully, and Date looks like he's considering violence. Mizuki giggles at him. 

"I like to think I'm smarter than him," she says, to Aiba's hum of approval.

"Very much so." With less levity, she says, "Truth of the matter is, both of us quite miss you, Mizuki, although Date will never admit to that."

"Because that's not true?" He doesn't sound convincing in the slightest, and Aiba sighs. 

"Aw, I know you love me, old man," Mizuki chirps out. 

"Whatever."

"So tsundere." It's easy to imagine Aiba shaking her head. "In any case, there's less than two minutes before midnight."

"Time to say goodbye to teenagehood," Mizuki says, morose. "At least I can drink now."

"Speaking of." Date waves at Mama, beckoning her back to the bar from where she's been flirting with the other customer. She groans but comes back, flashing them a coyish look.

"What can I get you two now?" 

"A beer for me," Date orders with confidence, "and something the kid’s gonna like.”

"Hm." Mama peers at Mizuki, calculating. "A cocktail would suit such an inexperienced palate… Perhaps a mojito?"

"Sounds good," Mizuki says with a shrug. "It's kinda like lemonade, right?” 

Belying her shape, Mama moves quick and with certainty, mixing the drink with steady hands and a bit of flourish in her pours. A bottle of rum, another of syrup, a mint leaf and a thin slice of lime, cut with one sharp flick of the knife. Mizuki watches with amazement; by the time the two glasses are placed in front of them, Aiba says,

“It’s midnight. Happy birthday, Mizuki.”

“Happy birthday, kiddo,” Date adds, raising his glass with a grin. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

Mizuki shakes her head with exasperation, but as she clinks her glass against his, she can’t help but smile back. “Thanks, old man.” She takes an experimental sip, and her brows jump up in shock. “Whoa.”

“You like it?”

“Mhm! It is kinda like lemonade.” Nice and sour, with a hint of freshness from the mint, something deeper in the background, probably the alcohol. It’s nice. She can understand why Date wanted her to have some. This is kind of - pleasant, drinking with her father, everything making sense now.

Granted, she thought that’d happen with her biological dad, but she’s made peace with that. Well. Mostly. Yeah, his death is a scar on the back of her thoughts, yet it’s come far from being the gaping wound. When she imagines Iris, Ota, maybe even Miss Hitomi celebrating this day alongside Date, the flood of possibilities that scenario opens up is one she can control. Not getting swept up, drowned, unable to breathe. A crying kid, grieving, hurting so much she thought it’d kill her. And - she’s going to visit their resting places later, like on every birthday, every special moment. Just because they’re all dead doesn’t mean they’re no longer a vital part of her life. More than a bittersweet memory, less than a ghost, something in the gray zone. An illness she can learn to carry for the rest of her life.

“You okay?” Date snaps his fingers in front of her face. “Spacing out again.”

“Yeah,” Mizuki says, and her voice is strong and sure and warm like a hug or a cup of tea. “I’m alright.”

Pausing, Date gazes at her, then nods. His tone, albeit jokey, is just as kind when he says, “Want to try my beer?”

“Hell yeah!” She swipes it from his grip and, without thinking, takes a long gulp - one she barely manages not to spit out. “Ough.”

“Thought so.” He smirks. “You’ve still got a lot to learn.”

“Hey, at least you don’t have to worry I’ll steal your gross beer,” Mizuki says, scraping her tongue over her teeth to get rid of the taste. Bleh, so bitter and powerful. Is this what adults like? No, wait, she’s an adult as well now. Shit. “I’ve got taste, unlike someone else.”

“That’s why you love me so much,” Date boasts, and she punches him in the arm. Lovingly, duh. “Hey, what was that for?”

“For being a stupid fu-”

“Now, you two,” Mama interjects. “Take your ribbing somewhere else, you're scaring away my customers."

“Sorry Mama,” they say in unison. She gives them an amiable look.

“Like father, like daughter, hm? Oh, don’t stare at me like that, you know I’m correct!”

“Strange minds think alike,” Mizuki says under her nose.

“I take offense to that,” says Aiba. 

“No, you don’t.”

“I will electrocute you, Date.”

“No, you won’t,” says Mizuki, and Aiba groans in defeat. 

They don’t leave Marble until closing time. When Mizuki’s Uber arrives, the driver honks the horn at her because she finds it hard to break the hug with Date, his palm against the back of her head and her eyes hidden in his shoulder. If she tears up, he doesn’t mention it. If she notices a shine in his good eye, she doesn’t say a word. It’s alright. They’re alright. This is the ending they’ve come to accept. 

She’s twenty years old, and the future opens wide, endless, beautifully neutral.

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 2

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: none

Words: 2.0k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: have a treat for getting through another week of 2021 :)

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Series | Masterlist

A couple weeks had passed since [y/n] saw Zuko. When her parents asked how their reunion went, she said it went well. What she didn’t say was that all her excitement plunged down the drain the moment Mai and Azula showed up.

Her mom quickly found out about Zuko and Mai’s relationship. It wasn’t surprising. All the girls in the city dreamed of dating Zuko. Such a rumor would spread like wildfire. When it was brought up, [y/n] pretended to be happy for them. She didn’t want her parents to know that she was heartbroken. She didn’t need them to know her secret.

As the days went on, [y/n] pushed her feelings away and did her best to move on. Once again, work kept her mind distracted. And soon things went back to normal...until a messenger hawk landed on the window sill.

“[Y/n]!” Her mom called from the kitchen, “you have a message from Zuko!”

[Y/n]’s heart began to race. Despite her sorrow, she still got excited to hear from him. It was a nostalgic, like when she was a child waiting for that invitation to have a playdate. She left her bedroom to retrieve the note from her mother.

Dear [y/n], I’m sorry I couldn’t take you up on your offer to spend the day together. I’ve had a lot going on now that I’m back. Today, my father told my sister and me to take a vacation. We’re going to Ember Island, and Mai and Ty Lee are coming too. You should join us! Please let me know if you can come. Your friend, Zuko

[Y/n] had mixed feelings about Zuko’s invitation. She could count on one hand how many times she went on a vacation. The thought of taking a break and getting away from the city seemed nice. Zuko would be there too. Although he didn’t like her back, they were still best friends. It could be fun. However, his sister and his girlfriend would be there as well. That could ruin the trip.

[Y/n] shook her head. She was overthinking it. Zuko dating Mai wasn't the end of the world, and he wanted her to be there, so she should go. It would make him happy, and she truly valued his happiness. Surely [y/n] was capable of repressing her crush and not letting Azula get to her. She would be fine.

That was probably an overstatement.

The trip was...okay. Zuko was glad that [y/n] accepted the invite. However, his sister wasn’t too thrilled (though that was to be expected). Also, as expected, Mai was practically attached to Zuko. [Y/n] watched them from afar at the beach. She had to admit that she was at least a little jealous...maybe a lot.

“Here, this is for you,” Zuko said to Mai, handing her a seashell. Mai glanced at it and gave Zuko a snooty look.

“Why would I want that?”

“I saw it, and I thought it was pretty. Don’t girls like stuff like this?”

Yes, of course, [y/n] thought. She would’ve been over the moon if Zuko gave her a seashell.

Mai scoffed. “Maybe stupid girls.”

[Y/n] frowned. Was she a stupid girl? She sure felt stupid for coming here.

“Hey, beach bums! We’re playing next!” Azula shouted to Zuko and Mai, pointing to the people playing kuai ball. “Ty Lee, get over here!”

[Y/n] and the others gathered around Azula.

“Uh-uh,” Azula put her hand out to stop [y/n]. “You’re not playing. Teams of four only, and, besides, you’ll hold us back.”

“Hey!” Zuko barked at his sister.

“It’s fine, Zuko," [y/n] said, putting her hands up to diffuse the situation. "I don’t know how to play, so she’s probably right...” She shrugged her shoulders.

“See? I’m right. Let’s go.” Azula said pompously. She turned on her heel and headed toward the kuai ball court. Everyone else followed.

Watching Zuko and the girls play from the sidelines was normal for [y/n]. As a child, Azula usually let everyone but [y/n] play games with her, then Zuko would get mad, and [y/n] would just deal with it. She didn't dare cause trouble with the princess. But she deeply appreciated Zuko for standing up for her.

As the team of four destroyed their opponents (almost literally), [y/n]'s mind wandered. If I was nobility, I bet I would be playing too...but would Zuko have chosen me instead? Or would he be with Mai anyway?

After spending most of the day at the beach, the group went to a house party. Initially, the party hosts, Chan and Ruon-Jian, invited only Mai and Ty Lee. But, Azula, cunning and determined as always, managed to persuade the hosts to include everyone…even [y/n] to her surprise.

[Y/n] had never been to a house party before. The place was loud and packed with strangers. It was overwhelming to say the least. If it weren't for Mai, [y/n] would've stuck to Zuko's side. But, alas, she watched the love birds sit together, his arm around her shoulder. They were probably having a good time just like everyone else in the room. No one was standing awkwardly alone like [y/n].

Although she could’ve tried to mingle and make friends, she was far too anxious. So [y/n] sought refuge at the snack table. Nibbling on food kept her looking busy, while she prayed to the spirits for the night to go by quickly.

And perhaps the spirits heard her cries for help. Out of the corner of her eye, [y/n] noticed Zuko heading in her direction. Such a simple thing instantly brought her joy.

“Hey!” [Y/n] grinned.

“Hey.” Zuko replied sternly. He barely looked at her. Strange.

“So, um, how are you enjoying the party?”

He sighed dramatically, as he picked out some food. “Oh, it’s great,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Something was wrong. Before [y/n] could open her mouth, Zuko turned and walked away. Then, someone bumped into him and all the food fell to the floor.

“Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!” Zuko snapped. [Y/n] kneeled down to clean up the food (it must have been her housemaid instincts). When she stood up, she saw Zuko run over to Ruon-Jian, who was talking to Mai, and push him. The poor boy almost crashed into [y/n].

“Hey! What are you doing?” Asked a very stunned Ruon-Jian.

“Stop talking to my girlfriend!” Zuko demanded, pointing an accusatory finger to the host. His other hand was tightly balled into a fist. [Y/n] could practically see the smoke coming out of his hands.

“Relax, it’s just a party—”

Zuko forcefully shoved Ruon-Jian back into a tall vase, which shattered to pieces. Suddenly the room fell silent. People all around them stopped talking to stare.

Mai began yelling at Zuko, and Zuko yelled back. They fought and bickered until Mai finally said it, “it’s over, Zuko. We’re done.”

[Y/n] gawked at the commotion. It all happened so quickly and it seemed so out of the blue. As kids, there were times when Zuko had lost his temper, but this was different. She had never seen Zuko rage to the point of becoming physical before.

“Who broke my nana’s vase?!” Chan cried, running into the scene. Ruon-Jian simply pointed to Zuko. Chan turned to him and aggressively gestured to the door. “That’s it! You’re out of here!”

“I was just leaving,” Zuko growled. He stormed out the front door and slammed it.

I better talk to him, [y/n] thought. She quietly slipped through the crowd of partygoers and left the house. Zuko was angrily walking along the path away from the place, hands still in fists and shoulders tensely raised.

“Zuko!” She called to him. He ignored her.

“Zuko, wait!” [Y/n] jogged to catch up to him. Still, Zuko kept walking. “What happened?” She panted.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

"But--"

"You heard what I said!" He was still fuming and needed to cool down first.

“Okay, okay…" [Y/n] paused before quietly asking, "can I walk with you?”

Zuko hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily. “Yeah, sure.”

Together they walked down the path to the beach. Neither of them said a word. They just silently strolled along the shore side by side. Waves lapped at their feet, providing a nice, calming ambiance. Several minutes passed, then Zuko turned and started up another path. It led up a hill to a large beach house. The house appeared to be abandoned as the garden outside was severely overgrown.

“What is this? Where are we?” [Y/n] wondered.

“My family’s beach house,” Zuko responded in a much more collected tone.

The two walked up the front steps. Zuko tried to open the door, but it was locked. He stepped back and forcefully kicked it open. [Y/n] reluctantly followed him inside.

“We haven’t been here in a long time,” Zuko explained, “we used to come every summer...when we were actually happy.”

A long time indeed. It was obvious that the house had been vacant for many years. Floorboards creaked with every step, a layer of dust coated every surface, and cobwebs hung every corner. A peculiar, stale smell made [y/n]’s nose crinkle.

Zuko extended his hand out and generated a flame. With the dim light, he walked up the large set of stairs in the foyer. [Y/n] followed.

On second floor was a large painting: a family portrait from a different time. Firelord Ozai and his (former) wife, Lady Ursa sat next to each other in chairs. Beneath them sat two children: Zuko and Azula. They looked to be very young, around the age when [y/n] had met them. Everyone was smiling.

Zuko gazed nostalgically. So much had changed in his life since this portrait was painted. It was no wonder his family no longer came here. If one were to pinpoint when it all went downhill, it would be Ursa’s disappearance.

[Y/n] placed a hand on his shoulder. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“Every day,” Zuko mumbled.

“I'm so sorry, Zuko…” she whispered.

“Yeah…” Zuko paused before speaking again. “I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. And I'm sorry you saw me get so angry at Mai and those other guys.”

[Y/n] nodded, accepting his apology.

“When I was exiled, all I felt was bitter anger and frustration. I thought restoring my honor and coming home would be the only way I could be happy again. Well, I’m home now and I have my honor back, so I should be happy, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why. Now, I’m just confused.”

“I’m sorry, Zuko” [y/n] said. “I don’t know what I can do to help you.”

“It's okay. I don’t even know how to help myself.”

[Y/n] thought for moment. She had to say something to make him feel better.

“It's not very helpful, but I can tell you this. Everything will be okay. Maybe not now or tomorrow, or even the day after...but if you give yourself time, you’ll figure it out, and then, everything will be okay.”

Zuko turned to [y/n]. He stared at her for just a moment before hugging her. [Y/n] wrapped her arms around him, returning the embrace.

“Thank you, [y/n]. Even after all these years, you’re still here for me."

“Of course...I care about you.” She did, in more ways than Zuko would know.

Zuko pulled away, but kept his hands on her shoulders. He was so close to [y/n], she could almost feel his warm breath tickle her nose. It made her cheeks flush. [Y/n] watched his amber eyes wander all over her face. Everything felt so still and quiet all of a sudden. Even [y/n]’s mind went blank. His lips parted slightly, and she could’ve sworn she saw Zuko lean in a little...

“There you are. I thought I’d find you here—”

Zuko immediately let go of [y/n] and whipped his head around. Behind him at the top of the stairs stood Azula. She cocked her head and crossed her arms.

“Did I interrupt something?” She asked articulately.

“No.” Zuko answered quickly.

“Alright then…come down to the beach. This place is depressing.”

While the three of them returned to the shore, [y/n]’s mind rambled relentlessly.

What was that? Did he just...? No, no, I must be crazy. It didn’t happen. It was nothing. It was dark, my mind must've been playing tricks on me. I was just imagining things. Yeah...imagining it all. He wouldn’t...kiss me…would he?

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, anxiety, hitch…, gross couple stuff, fluffy in the beginning, angst toward the end

listen to the music masterlist

prev | next

Between band rehearsals and time at home, you were happier than you'd ever been. You and Mikasa were officially an item. Honestly, it was hard for you to believe.

Three full days and nothing had gone wrong. Maybe Hitch's threats were empty after all. Admittedly, you were a little worried she'd be right on your tail after you and Mikasa became official.

But there was no way she'd know, anyway. Only the rest of the band and your friend group knew about your new relationship.

Mikasa was never one to care about social media so the public not knowing for a little while wouldn't be a big deal.

You wanted the fans to be aware but you had to be sure you were clear of Hitch before you announced it. You wanted to be sure you'd completely shaken her off before taking to the socials.

Perhaps the scene at the restaurant really was her last stand. You hadn't heard from her since and you were too caught up in your own fear of her to reach out.

Her outburst was something you thought about in times when you weren't focused on your girlfriend.

You were actually a little worried about Hitch. What she said stunned you for sure but so many other things happened that night that you had barely even dwelled on it before you and Mikasa started dating.

It was easy to tell that every word she spoke came from a place rooted deeply within her. You never expected something like that from as calm a person as Hitch. Based on the way she escaped that night, neither did she.

After the kiss with Mikasa, you were too wrapped up in your own doubtful mind to even give Hitch a second thought.

Yet there you were, your thoughts consumed by her while you helped set up for Eren's party.

"Y/n!" Armin called from the floor. His voice was startling and you almost fell off the ladder he was holding.

"What, Armin?" You put a hand to your heart and steadied yourself by pressing your palm to the wall.

"Why are you taking ten years to tape streamers up? They don't even look good because you've got your head in the clouds! Just let me do it." They let out an annoyed huff and motioned for you to come down the ladder.

You obliged and held the ladder steady for Armin to climb up. They started fixing the streamers while mumbling an insult or two about how they were placed.

Eren was on the back porch attempting to put up string lights, which was usually Jean's job. Instead, he was on the phone with Niccolo, who so graciously offered to cater, at the kitchen counter. Mikasa was going around all the rooms and hiding expensive or prized possessions so nothing important got destroyed.

She then walked into the kitchen and sent you an affectionate smile while stacking away plates that used to belong to your grandparents.

You smiled back and took one hand off the ladder to grab hold of her arm before letting her walk to the fridge. Armin swatted your head. "Will you stop dilly-dallying? Hold the ladder steady!"

Jean made a silent gagging motion at you and Mikasa before turning back to the phone.

Although she was hiding her face in the fridge, you still noticed the hint of a smile on her face.

Armin smacked your head again. "I'm gonna get another head injury if you don't hold the ladder steady!"

"Christ, Armin. I got it, okay?" You gripped the ladder with both hands but fought the urge to tip it over. He really took decorating seriously.

Mikasa left the room after putting everything valuable into a closet and getting a drink.

Jean got off the phone after fifteen or so minutes and Eren came back inside to ask for help with the lights. Armin gladly halted his work with the streamers to go help him.

So you were back on decorating duty. You moved the ladder to another part of the kitchen to finish up with the streamers.

After everything was set up, the sun was beginning to set. It was around seven p.m.  People would be arriving soon so you all got dressed and ready for the party.

Sasha and Niccolo were the first people to arrive since they were the ones bringing all the food. Once they got done with putting the food out more people began to show.

First, it was the rest of your friend group. Then, it was people Eren knew but you didn't. Finally, it was so many random people that you lost track of them all.

It was now dark outside and your house was filled with people. Jean and Marco were at the front door as light security to make sure douchebags such as Floch didn't get in.  

The one time he did he broke a bunch of expensive vases. That's where the ritual of hiding valuable stuff came from. You could never be too careful at big parties like these.

Music was blaring through your house, making it impossible to hold a steady conversation with your girlfriend, who stood in front of you. 

Instead of talking, you both decided that dancing would be the better option.

What surprised you was when she started getting handsier with you as the songs progressed. She was never one for physical affection in places with lots of people so you were a little confused, but you didn't mind. 

"Guys! Reiner said he's gonna jump in the lake!" Eren shouted at you and Mikasa. He looked like he was out of breath.

"What?" you yelled back.

"The lake is fucking freezing! You can't swim in it this time of year or you'll straight up die! Holy shit- let me catch my breath. I just ran up the lawn and a flight of stairs. Fuck, I'm so out of shape!" He was still yelling since the music hadn't gotten any quieter. The stupid birthday cake hat on his head was slipping off. 

"Should we stop him?" Mikasa shouted. 

"Yes, we should fucking stop him! Everyone out there is cheering him on! The only reason he's held back is because Armin is stalling him! He's the only one down there with a little responsibility! God, Reiner is like a completely different person when he's drunk." Eren adjusted his hat and motioned for the two of you to follow him back downstairs.

You were about to follow him and Mikasa but you noticed a certain figure standing in the hallway, glaring at you. 

You thought this might've been over. You thought wrong. You'd recognize that glare anywhere.

Hitch had the nerve to show up at your best friend's birthday party knowing you'd be around. You guessed she hadn't known about you and Mikasa until a few minutes ago.

When she noticed your gaze, she abruptly turned to the left and walked into the kitchen.

"You guys go stop him, I'll stay back and monitor things while you're gone." You told your bandmates.

"You sure, Y/n?" Eren yelled again, already getting lost in the crowd.

"Yeah, go without me!"

He nodded and walked off with Mikasa trailing behind.

You felt like you were gonna be sick. You should've been more careful. You should've expected this.

You knew you were upset. You knew you were scared. But you knew you had to talk to Hitch before she talked to anyone else.

She looked angry when you approached her in a secluded hallway off of the kitchen that was luckily out of view from the rest of the party.

"I want to talk about Friday." Your voice came out surprisingly steady and for the first time that night, you could actually hear yourself speak.

She scoffed. "You wanna talk about Friday? I wanna talk about your new relationship. Do you seriously think I'm someone to mess with? Do you take me as a joke?"

"Hitch, I'm worried about you. What you said then, it was pretty heavy." You spoke calmly, trying not to provoke her.

Her glare faltered for a second but she quickly looked down and pretended to fix the wrinkles in her dress. "I lost my composure then. Don't worry about me. It won't happen again so don't ask about it." She looked at you again. "Y/n, why don't you tell me exactly what's going on with you and Mikasa?"

If Hitch wasn't going to crack, neither were you. "Nothing at all. We're only friends."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Really? Because last I checked, friends don't dance like that."

"They can if they want."

She ignored your answer, not buying it, and changed the topic. "I bet you wonder where and how I get my answers to things. I have eyes everywhere. As long as I'm around here there's no escaping the truth."

You were trying very hard to keep up a wall of confidence but you knew it was falling fast. "I do wonder, actually. How did you even know she was coming back? Only two of my friends besides the band knew and they don't talk with you."

Then, she smiled. "Marlo's job has him working internationally. He was on a train before she came back. She was on it too. He overheard her on the phone with your friend Jean. I guess you could say he was in the right place at the right time."

You stumbled back in surprise. Of course something like that happened to her. What else could have?

She laughed at your reaction. "It's all too convenient! Just think about that, Y/n. You can never get rid of me, no matter how hard you try. I know what's going on with you two and everyone is going to know what happened with us."

She laughed again and any ounce of courage you had disappeared. Tears filled your eyes as you hurried away from her.

You hastily made your way through the sea of people and up the stairs. Jean and Marco looked up from the front door at the sudden noise of you running up the stairs. They called your name twice but didn't follow.

 You rushed down the hallway and into the bathroom. The door shut behind you. You dropped to the floor and let the welling tears fall.

You were overwhelmed and cried easily. Soon enough, everyone would know. How could you face them after what you did to Hitch? After they knew? 

A knocked sounded at the door after a few minutes of sitting and crying.

"Occupied," you said hoarsely.

"Y/n? Are you okay? Open the door. It's me. It’s Eren."

Damn, you were hoping no one else noticed. You figured Eren and the others would still be persuading Reiner out of stupidity. 

After a moment of hesitation, you opened the door and he came in. He sat on the floor in front of you as you leaned against the cabinets. 

"I saw you through that crowd. Jean said you came up here. Can you tell me what happened and if you're okay?" He rubbed your arm and pulled you in to hug him as he tried to help you calm down.

You hiccuped and sniffled into his shoulder, dampening the cloth of his shirt, but he didn't seem to care. "Take your time," he whispered.

You wiped at your eyes and pulled away from his embrace. "Eren, I did something so shitty in college."

posted: 9/29/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

The new girl (Rey x Reader High School AU)

Request: There were two that were very similar, both involved a party or social gathering and Rey or Reader getting a bit jealous when someone hits on them so I kinda fused them. Here are the original requests 1 / 2

Words: 3,202 (by far the longest one here)

A/N: This is honestly one of my favorite things I've written for this AU!! Hope you like it as much as I do.

The music got louder as Rey and you got closer to Poe’s place to one of the many parties he organized in his house, one of the things that made him quite famous on school and why many students had their eyes on him.

“Does he really needs to do all this parties?” asked Rey scoffing. “I mean, this is like the third this month.”

“But this one’s special, Rey. It’s his birthday.” you said walking down the street towards his house,

“Okay, I’ll forgive him this time.” she giggled. “Oh, Y/N. I invited someone, by the way” she said stopping a few feets from the door which confused you a little bit.

“Who?”

“Her name is Zorii..” she said and you repeated her name in your head, it wasn’t familiar. You knew all her friends but this girl, you had never heard about her and it disconcerted you.

“Do I know her?” you asked as your mind couldn’t find an answer.

“She’s new in my mechanics class, she helped me with my task so I invited her, I forgot to tell you.” she explained “Do you think Poe would mind?” she said with a worried look on her face. You shook your head and gave her a comforting smile.

“No, don’t worry. He’ll be totally okay with it.” you told her.

The powerful roar of a motorcycle engine made you turn your head over your shoulder. You saw the vehicle coming fastly closer and it stopped right in front of you. It was a grey racing motorcycle and the driver wore black leather jacket and gloves, a golden helmet covered her face. She raised the black visor of her helmet revealing a pair of emerald green eyes and long lashes.

“Rey!” she said excited, her voice a bit muffled by the helmet.

“Hey!” Rey greeted with a wide smile. “I’m glad you decided to come, Zorii.”

The girl chuckled under her helmet before she took it off, a light brown mane fell gracefully on her shoulders. Then you saw finally her, she had some delicate features, high yet soft cheekbones, a playfully smirk and an intense gaze. You had to admit that she was a really attractive girl, as you had to admit you felt some insecurity starting to build up in you as this hot girl came closer and greeted Rey enthusiastically.

“You sure there will be no problem?” she asked Rey and she immediately shook her head.

“No, everything’s fine.” she said. Rey noticed you were out of the conversation, it was normal, you didn’t know this girl, so she took your head and pulled you a little closer. “Zorii, this is my girlfriend Y/N,” she said and then she looked at you with a smile. Zorii smirked at you for a moment a bit surprised to see you.

“So this is the famous Y/N.” she said “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rey just won’t stop talking about you in class, I’ve passed the last weeks hearing about you.”

“Really?” you asked and you couldn’t suppress the smile on your lips, yet there was doubt in your brain. Weeks? Rey hadn’t mentioned anything about Zorii until now, but apparently they knew for weeks.

“Well, shall we?” asked Rey gesturing towards the door.

Poe’s house was filled with students, you recognized most of them from your classes but there were also a lot from other grades. Some were dancing at the rhythm of the music holding the typical red cups as they moved across the room, others preferred chatting a little bit or visiting the snack table. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, specially the birthday boy who was dancing in the middle of the dancefloor and clapped as the song was over. He saw you then.

“Y/N, Rey!” He almost yelled “Thanks for coming, grab some drinks, I’m gonna find Finn.” he said smiling but his grin almost faded away when his eyes met Zorii. “Did I drink too much or am I really seeing you, Zorii?”

“Hi, Poe.” she said.

“Wait you know each other?” Rey and you almost screamed at the same time as you looked speechless at them.

“Long story” Zorii explained.

“You don’t really wanna know.” he added “I thought you were in Kijimi.”

“I was, I moved here a few months now.” Poe nodded now with his smile back.

“Well, welcome. Grab a drink and then we’ll talk, whatcha say?” he raised an eyebrow at Zorii but just laughed for a moment.

“You’re still the same, Dameron”

Your friend winked at her before he made his way back to the dancefloor. It was moment to find the snack table and some drinks. You guided Rey and Zorii through the crowd already knowing exactly where everything was in this party for the dozen times you’ve been here.

When the three of you had a cup you searched for a corner where you can chat, Zorii seemed to interested on know you better, though you believed her really interest was Rey, they seemed to had a lot of this to talk about due their mechanics class, the only thing you could do for a while was smile and nod in agreement.

“Zorii, I have to tell you, I really love your motorcycle.” Rey confessed in the middle of the conversation.

“Thanks, babe. You know how to ride?” the green eyed woman asked leaned on the wall.

“No, I’ve driven some cars, but never motorcycles.” Rey said.

“That can be arrange” she told her before she took a long sip of her drink. “Name a day and I’ll teach you.”

“Really?” Rey grinned with her eye full of true happiness.

“I’d be delighted” the other girl answered.

While they talked you were like a shadow, just standing there but not really with them, for a moment you even thought they had forget about you, laughing with one another, while slowly the tension on your body grew with every new smile and new joke between them at the point that it was hard to keep smiling but you forced yourself to do it. You felt Rey’s gaze from time to time on you, you didn’t want to ruin her good mood.

A new beat filled the room as the new song rumbles through the loudspeakers and more students moved to the dancefloor excited to move with the new hit.

“No way, that song slaps!” the new girl yelled already moving with the rhythm and singing some of the lyrics. “Let’s dance!”

You were so distracted in your head that you didn’t hear Rey when she asked you to dance with her, was until she rested her hand on the lower of your back that you noticed she was talking to you.

“Sorry, what?” you asked confused, Rey was looking at you with a heartwarming smile.

“Wanna dance with me, milady?” she told you. You doubted your answer, you weren’t exactly in the mood.

“I-I, no right now. You go, love.” you told her and her eyes filled with concern.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” she asked you.

“Yeah, great. I just feel a bit dizzy. Maybe it’s enough booze for me.” you said forcing you to let go a chuckle as you looked down at your barely touched drink.

“Rey! come on!” Zorii yelled already in the dance floor moving her slim figure with the music.

“Gimme a moment!” Rey yelled back. She turned to you, “I’ll be back soon. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah.” you told her, she smiled and gave you a soft kiss before she left your side to join the rest of the guest.

You couldn’t help to follow her with your gaze, she walked up to her new friend and start moving with her, shaking her head from side to side as she rose her arms to the music, her bright smile always adorning her precious face as she danced close to that beautiful new girl.

Seeing her that happy with other girl made you felt a strong pain in your chest as your brain worked probably more than it should. They were just friends, damn it, a part of you was screaming at you to stop thinking things that were clearly just work of your insecurity and yet the other part of you sounded louder. She looked so happy with her, they can speak for hours and hours and for a moment you thought Zorii was better than you in any sense: she was beautiful, hotter, she knew more about one of Rey’s passions than you, mechanics but most important she made her laugh.

As the thoughts started to overwhelm you there was a lump stuck in your throat and the tears threatened to fall down, you felt like you were going to break down in a matter of second. So you decided to leave, Rey was happier with her than with you.

You rushed through the crowd, urged to find a place where nobody could see you. Gladly you knew this house so you easily found the bathroom and you locked yourself inside. Sighing deeply you tried to get those thoughts out of your head, calm yourself a little but your mind just wouldn't let you. You had to get out of that place.

You took your phone and dial a number on the screen.

"What?" He snapped as soon as he answered the call.

"Ben, can you pick me up?" You told him hoping your voice wouldn't crack.

"Isn't it a bit early? Didn't you say to pick you at eleven?" He asked a bit confused.

"Ben" you cut him off "please."

There was a silence and then you heard his deep voice again.

"I'll be there in a minute."

"Thank you." You said hanging the phone. Now the only thing you had to do was wait for him to arrive.

You sat on the edge of the small tub just waiting for your brother, the time seemed to pass so slow and you felt the tears pooling in your eyes as you thought of Rey having so much fun with Zorii out there.

Then finally a text appeared in the screen of your phone. "I'm here" it said.

You took a deep breath and cleaned your face before you leave the bathroom, racing to the door praying no one would notice you leaving. But she did.

Rey was looking for you, wondering where you may be hiding. She knew you just too well, she had an idea of what was going on and the idea of that upset her. She knew you were a little insecure sometimes, who wasn't, to be honest, insecure from time to time? But it was a bit sad that even when she tried to cheer you up you seemed not to notice she had only eyes for you.

"Y/N!" she said and you stopped. "There you are, I was worried something happened to you."

"I-i have to go, Rey." You said. "Sorry."

"Are you alright?" She asked concerned.

"Yeah, just," you showed her your phone "mum called, uncle Luke's in town. Family dinner." You lied. She stared at you for a moment trying to figure out what was really going on.

"Wait, I'll walk you home." She said.

"No, don't worry." You told her and swallowed hard "Ben's here." You saw the small smile on her lips fade away but she nodded.

"Okay. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. Please tell Poe I'm sorry." You said and then you raced to the door, regretting your words and actions immediately.

The black car was waiting for you and you felt a bit relieved when you got inside. Your brother, however was a bit confused when he didn't saw Rey with you.

"Where's your nerd girlfriend?" He asked.

"She's not coming" you answered in a barely audible voice.

"Why?"

"Can we just go, Ben?" You pleaded.

"Y/N..."

"Just drive the car!"

He rested his hands on the steering wheel and then he looked at you.

"Okay, what happened there, Y/N?" He said serious as his eyes focused on you. "And don't even try it, you can't lie to me."

You sighed but refused to look at him.

"There's a new girl in town." You murmured.

"Go on."

"She's in class with Rey and… she's here." You stopped yourself to clean a lonely tear that made its way out of your eyes.

"I see where this is going" your brother said. "Let me guess, the new girl and Rey are suddenly so close, right?" He told you and you nodded.

"She's so pretty and cool, damn it! I think Rey prefers her over me." You snapped hiding your face on your hands.

Ben opened the glove box and handed you a package of tissues. Then he chuckled.

"I think my little sister is jealous." He grinned.

"Hey!" You protested.

"You are, Y/N. You're comparing yourself with that new girl, fearing to lose your precious Rey, but it's not gonna happen."

"What do you mean?" You asked cleaning your face. He rolled his eyes.

"You're hopeless!" He chuckled again. "Rey loves you, Y/N. It's more than obvious"

"But…"

"She's not gonna change you for that girl, she loves you just too much to do something as stupid as that" he told you. "I know I spent most of my time fighting with her and saying I hate her, but she tries her best to make you happy."

"Yeah, she does." You let go a soft chuckle remembering all the things she have done for you, hiding in the first place, back when you two started dating. Every other person would have said no but she was willing to be with you even if it was in secret. And your chest warned up with those memories.

"She's just being kind as she is with this girl. But you have nothing to fear, Y/N."

He was right, all this chaos was just made up in your head, product of your insecurities but you never stopped thinking about what your brother said not all the good and bad things Rey and you've been through. She wouldn't change that for a new girl.

"Shit, I'm such an idiot!" You blurted, knowing you may have hurt Rey with your actions.

"First thing you say today I agree with." Ben joked. You glanced at him angry and then you hugged him.

"Thanks" you murmured. "I have to go back inside. Mind to wait?"

"Nah! I'll be near. Just call me." He told you.

You got off the car and walked to the house again.

"Hey! If she does something stupid, I'll kill her." He yelled and you shook your head before getting in the party again.

Desperately you scanned the room looking for the girl you loved in the crowd. She was not dancing, not anywhere to see, but you did caught Zorii.

"Zorii." You said as you approached to her. "Where's Rey?"

"Hey, Y/N. I thought you were leaving." She said a bit confused. "Rey looked a bit upset, she said she needed a drink. I think she went to the roof."

"Thank you, Zorii." You told her and rushed to the stairs.

There she was, looking at the night city with a drink in hand as she talked with Finn.

"I thought everything was fine, but she left so sudden." She said and her voice was filled with a mix of doubt and sadness.

"But you said she left because she had a family emergency." Finn added.

"She was lying, Finn, I know her." She sighed "I just wish she would have told me what happened."

You cleared your throat making them both turn around to meet you. You stayed there for a second until Finn spoke again.

"I'm gonna go for another drink." He said and smiled when he passed by your side before rushing down the stairs. Meanwhile Rey drank the last drops of her drink and waited for you to get closer.

"I'm sorry." You finally told her.

"For what?" She asked confused.

"For everything. For lying to you but mostly for being a complete fool."

"I don't understand." She said. "What is this about that made you escape?"

"Zorii" you murmured feeling ashamed. "you never told me about her and back there with all her cool clothes and her bike, not to mentioned her. You seemed so happy with her… I guess I got a bit jealous." You confessed her. "And I'm sorry."

She took your hand.

"Zorii's just a friend. She's new here and I was once the new girl too. I know how it feels not to have anyone. And then there was you, Y/N, always helping me out. I don't know what would had happened if you haven't been there for me." She told you gazing at you. "I'm offering a hand like you did for me once." She said.

"Gosh, now I feel even more stupid." You told her closing your eyes only to open again them when you felt Rey's soft hand over your the side of your face.

"Hey, you're not stupid, don't ever call yourself that." She told you rather angry but then her kind smile was back on her face.

"Sorry, I'm acting like a child." You said "I know this sounds very stupid, but I thought I was losing you."

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, sweetheart" she joked actually getting a small laugh from you. "Now seriously, you're not going to lose me, I love you more than anything, Y/N." She told you and you felt the blush spreading over your face.

"I love you too, Rey" you told her "I mean it"

Rey pulled you into a short but affectionate kiss.

"I know" she murmured before she leaned to met your lips again in a now more passionate way that let a big smile on your lips as it ended. You stayed for a moment looking at this amazing girl in front of you wondering how did you even got so lucky to meet and to be with her. "Now, you owe me a dance." She said smirking.

"Yeah, I think I do." You giggled. "I'm sorr…"

"If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna really think about kicking your ass." She told you. "Come on, Y/N, let's find our friends and enjoy the night." She told you as she intertwined her hand with yours.

You followed her down the stairs back to the party where the loud music surrounded you. Soon you were dancing close to her to the beat of the music, she looked so beautiful under the neon lights that lighted the dancefloor, you admired her as her body seemed to float with the music and the way her eyes lighted every time she caught you looking at her, she truly only had eyes for you. So you enjoy the rest of the night with the girl you loved the most, hoping those insecurities would never come back to you, because you really didn't have nothing to worry about, Rey loved you just as you were.

Tagging: @1-800-depressedlesbian

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

[feelingsileftunsaid]

I feel small today. Like everything isn't the right size anymore, I don't fit into myself, I can't fit inside my brain. There's just so much going on and I am overwhelmed by grief. So I wrote something about it and it's not good it's just what I'm feeling right now.

My crush died.

Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't in love with her nor did I know her enough to fall. But well, you don't really have to know the person to feel deeply fucking infatuated with them. So, where was I when I heard the news? Drunk, at a party, drinking lime and vodka and a friend told me: "I have bad news, do you want to hear them?" And I said, like a fucking fool "Yeah, if it is really bad then I can just get more drunk" AND THEN she says: "someone died" and me, always innocent, not believing for a second I would cry about it, asked her "who". I didn't like the answer to that. I still cannot fathom that she simply does not exist anymore. I tried, the only image I had of her, was a smiling one, someone passionate about books and art and literature and languages but not life itself, I guess. The point of me writing this is: I need to put into words everything, from what I saw in her and what we could've been and what she could have accomplished. Because, hear me out, I looked at her and I saw a glimpse of a future that ain't fucking mine anymore, never was. Of days discussing very old literary works and me being completely fascinated by her, besotted, as one should, and intimidated because she was that smart. Days where I would just lay by her and listen to her speaking french and asking for hugs, kisses, cuddles, love. Just asking anything and oh I would give her the world if it would only mean that she could have what she wanted. I saw glimpses of sleepless nights laying under the stars, me telling her about the galaxy, making up one or two constellations, giving them her name, making up words in Latin,  knowing she would see right through my bullshit and say nothing cause she would be just as besotted as I am. As I was. I saw her, enjoying life. Why couldn't she? I saw her loving life as it loved her, running through the aisles of a grocery store or in her own home, her bare feet touching the cold titles of the floor and waking her up a little bit more, her breakfast ready to go, done as quickly as she could, as fast as the time granted to her, leaving home, going out, working, studying, reading, listening to music on an actual old fucking record player, a small place in her room which holds the secrets of her soul and the many records she scratched by playing it too much, cameras all around her room as well as pictures taken by her of her friends, she is not on frame, this is just how she sees the world, sees them, the people she loved, people who love her. A future full of what ifs and uncertainties that she does not have anymore. The places where you've been now carry your pain, sorrow, whys, wrongs, suffering, tears. You've been in my heart, so now I carry your smiles, your passion, your love, happiness, joy, rights, beauty. And I will carry our could've beens, could've becomes, I will, because you can't, not anymore. I will remember you, because that's all I have left of you, memories. I hope someday I don't agonize myself over what ifs, knowing what happened to you, but I know it won't be today. I hope you are happy in heaven the way you couldn't be here.

[damienthepious]

68 56 13 34(lmao) for miro // 38 60 64 9 for koru :3

OH HELL YEAH ON REALIZING THE SPECIFIC QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ASKED I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE A MEANIE!!!! I LOVE YOU

MIRO:

68. where’s their home?

I feel like there are two answers to this, because... i could say, and i think he WOULD have said, earlier on, that his "home" is whatever he leaves at his back, when he runs off towards his next adventure. However. a more accurate answer would be that his home is wherever he chooses to stay. :)

56. who would they trust with their life, unequivocally?

There is a list, short tho it may be. Miro trusts Henry with his life in a number of senses. Fae trusts Koru, and fae trusts faer mothers. Beyond that he's more or less trusting depending on the circumstances. He didn't survive the feywild by being fast and loose with his trust, after all.

13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time?

YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS AND YET HERE WE ARE. Miro is rivers and horizons, intentionally. Hands were an accident. staying vs going was intentional but grew beyond my control.

34. what languages do they speak? how did they learn them?

OKAY FINE HERE IS THE LIST. I NEEDED TO OPEN ROLL20 FOR THIS.

Primordial. native tongue

Aquan. basically same. the local merfolk are basically neighbors so.

Common. learned fairly young, explicitly taught to children so they'll have an easier time on land for their Seekings. Miro bothered the local pirates to help him learn faster and to pick up a more.... nuanced vocabulary

Thieves' Cant. picked up from those same pirates :3

Infernal. the first extra language he picked up on his Seeking, because there were a LOT of tieflings around and he was fascinated by their vibes

Druidic. i think fae had a druid friend when fae was in the wilds but not yet the feywild, and fae had already decided to hoard languages so he learned a few tricks.

Sylvan. Pretty much necessary when he found his way into the Feywild.

Henryspeak. Sometimes besties need a secret language!!! that's not weird.

Fae also picks up the sign equivalents for as many of his languages as he can. in my head aquan and primordial are both partially gestural to start with, aquan slightly moreso

KORU:

38. do they see themselves as an important part of their party?

YOU ARE SO MEAN. Currently. No? Not currently, no. If Koru was "an important part" of the party.... ae would be with the party, wouldn't ae? Currently ae sees aerself as a desperate mess, and the only reason ae hasn't completely broken down and given up and gone home is because Koru feels like ae OWES aer effort to the current cause. So few people are even capable of knowing that something is wrong, let alone helping. Someone has to. Ae just wishes that the someone was... someone... say... better than ae is.

60. what do they have faith in? what keeps them believing?

Koru's faith is deeply deeply personal. Ae held aer goddess' hand. Ae pulled her out! Ae has faith in that. in that connection. Ae feels EMOTIONALLY about Elios more like a parent or an older sibling than ae does like a distant, untouchable deity. Koru has faith in aer friends, as well, tho ae is currently having a very difficult time believing that faith is returned.

64. how would a party member describe them?

LOL I DON'T KNOW. BABIE??? no okay god. fuck. this is going to sound like i'm bragging on my fish but fucksake these are not my words. the party's younger sibling. "the heart of the party". "holds us together". brave. filled with hope.

9. when in their life were they most scared?

Scared? if not right when Danu died, then a few hours later when the Oathbreaker decided to stick his nose in and give Koru aer first lil panic attack. Or maybe last night. honestly it's hard to say which was most scared. versus other things like guilty. or overwhelmed.