#I'm also jealous when people can center things

[golden-moony]

rumour has it | LN4

pairings: lando norris x model!fem!oc summary: everyone knows Lando has been single for a while, but when fans start to notice too many coincidences involving him and a model, his relationship status suddenly becomes the center of attention.

landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 1; ✈️✈️] [caption 3; it's summer time babyyy]

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[caption 1; what time is it? summer time!] [caption 2; my serotonin levels right now📈📈]

lnfour

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lnfour besties who go on vacation together, stay together 🤜🤛

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user1 f1's greatest wag

user2 SAY IT LOUDER user3 apparently max has competition now👀 user4 user3 NEVER user5 user3 context??? user6 user5 according to f1twt lando is on vacation not only with friends and family but also with a model named irina user7user5 crazy people who assume that Lando and Irina are together just because they are both on a yacht at sea🤦‍♀️

team_quadrant things we love to see 🫶

user8 aww literal boyfriends

user9 i guess not only "besties" are on vacation with lando right now huh ☕

user10 i'm gone for 1 minute and now lando is supposedly dating a new girl??? bro give me a break

user11 nah they're not dating, i don't even think they're in the same place tbh 😂😂 user12 user11 i've been saying this!!! people see them on a yacht and at sea and assume they're next to each other lol

user13 can we focus on lando and max matching outfits?? 😻

user14 they're soulmates if u ask me user15 best duo for real 🧡

irinakrausse

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irinakrausse We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea🧜‍♀️

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user1 i'm here for f1twt but bro i didn't expect her to be so beautiful like omg??

user2 RIGHT??? i think i'm in love now 😍 user3 i was ready to be jealous of her but now i'm jealous of lando tbh user4 user3 MOOD. SHE'S SO PRETTY

user5 oh lando i totally get you now 😳

user6 man has incredible taste honestly

user7 i'm no better than a man omg

lailahasanovic what a woman🥵🔥

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user8 laila sweety what are u doing here?? user9 user8 u new here? laila and irina have been friends for a long time lol user10 user9 when people find out that Irina has more wag friends they're gonna lose their minds😂

user11 lando this lando that but IRINA HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY???? 😍😍

user12 not lando liking the pic😂

user13 he's been liking irina's pics for months now, this is nothing new haha user14 i'm more surprised to see ria in the likes tbh user15 yeah yeah but WHAT ABOUT KIKA??? user16 user15 they've worked together

user17 STUNNING 😍😍😍

user18 JUST ONE CHANCE IRINA PLEASE😭🙏

landonorris

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landonorris aquaman who?

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user1 y'all he's mine go away

user2 get in line girl 🙄 user3 i'm afraid he's already taken user4 user3 WHAT DID I MISS?? user5 user4 girl where have u been the last week?😂 streets are sayin' he's on vacation with a model user6 user4 he's on vacation with friends, don't believe dumb rumors

user7 SIR I WASN'T PREPARED OMG😳😳

user8 liked by irina krausse 👀

user9 she's trying so hard to be relevant

user10 user9 ... it's just a like, jeez

user11 i would kill for that smile 🥹

user12 FR SO PRETTY user13 lando's smile >>>>>> user14 okay but now imagine that irina was the one who took the photo and lando is looking at her like this🥹 user15 user14 STOP my heart would melt 😩 user16 user14 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

mclaren lookin' good 🔥🔥

user17 admin being a total mood

danielricciardo cool pics, can i borrow the photographer?😇

landonorris no. user18 DANNY WHAT DO YOU KNOW

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irinakrausse

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irinakrausse already missing my vitamin sea 🌞

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user1 WOAH

user2 my sentiments exactly

lilymhe it should be illegal to look this good in public💘

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user3 LILY?????? user4 is this a way of welcoming the new wag? 👀 user5 user4 this clout chaser is NOT a wag user6 user5 jealous much? lol user7 lily honey tell us what u know pleeeease

user8 i wanna be lando so bad right now 😳

user9 she looks like luisa or is it just me?

user10 I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance🫣 user11 lando clearly has a type 😅 user12 luisa is way more beautiful than this girl. user13 user12 there's no need to compare two gorgeous women, grow up

user14 A WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE i wasn't ready for the last pic 🥵

user15 this is such a mood tbh user16 and lando is getting all that i can't believe his luck 😫

user17 SO PRETTY OMG 😍😍

user18 is that lando's hand in the 5th pic or am i crazy?

user19 IT'S HIS BRACELET 100% user20 you're crazy indeed

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[caption 1; work time!] [caption 2; 📸] [caption 3; 😴😴]

| landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

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landonorris CARLANDO PODIUM BABY!! 🏆

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mclaren EVERYBODY LOVED THAT 🔥🔥

user1 let's go team!!! user2 PLEASE MCLAREN WE NEED THEM TOGETHER AGAIN😭😭 user3 ADMIN BEING A TOTAL MOOD RN user4 vamooooos!!!!! user5 ADMIN IS ONE OF US ❤️🧡

user6 massive win for us Carlando girlies 😭💖

user7 I'M SO HAPPY OMG user8 my carlando heart is full of joy rn 😭❤️‍🩹

user9 YOU GUYS SLAYEDDDDD ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

carlossainz55 VAMOS, CABRÓN 👊🏆

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user10 carlando nation we really won 🥹 user11 BEST DUO FR 🚀 user12 OUR BOYS ❤️🧡

team_quadrant i'm not crying, you are 😭😭

user13 are u crying?? hahaha... i think i'm crying! user14 user13 elite reference right there

user15 best podium of the season!!! 🫶

irinakrausse That was a smooth operation indeed! 🫡🏆

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user16 so we got carlando podium AND irina's first comment on lando's ig? HOW ARE WE FEELING CHAT? user17 user16 OH WE REALLY WON user18 hard launch is around the corner y'all 👀 user19 user18 *pretends to be shocked* 😂

user20 SO PROUD OF YOU TWO 🧡🧡

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[caption 1; rise and shine, everyone!] [caption 2; someone's back🧡]

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lando.jpg 🦄❄️

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user1 HE POSTED IRINA!!!!!

user2 it was about damn time! user3 bro really said i'm in love and i want everyone to know that user4 user3 and i respect him for it 😂 user5 user3 i mean it's irina, who could blame him? user6 is that really irina? user7 user6 they're in the same place, you can confirm it in Irina's stories

user8 5th slide is my new roman empire

user9 the way i just SCREAMED omg user10 wasn't expecting that at all 😂

user11 he didn't win the championship but won at love🫶 how cute

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user12 HE LIKED IT OMG user13 that like it's all the confirmation i need

user14 bestie don't be shy and drop more pics with irina 🤭

user15 are we gonna talk about the unicorn helmet or what?

user16 that's high fashion if u ask me user17 i'll never understand how irina fell in love with lando when he has this kind of looks😂 user18 user17 yeah but have you seen lando? 🫦 user19 user17 she saw he was rich and fell for him lol user20 user19 ugh haters are not allowed in here, go away🤮

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[caption 1; white paradise🤍] [caption 2; 🤍✨]

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[caption 2; 🤍✨] [caption 3; ☃️⛷️]

irinakrausse

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irinakrausse ❄️

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user1 the real question is: can lando fight?

user2 one day you're fighting for lando and the next you're fighting WITH lando user3 user2 that's the ✨irina effect✨

user4 this woman is unreal 😍😍

user5 lando watch out cause you and i are not friends

user6 so we're all in love with irina right? user7 user6 of course we are! user8 user6 i mean just look at her! 😻

user9 irina please drop your hair routine for the girlies🙏

user10 c'mon guys!!! new year has to bring their relationship confirmation (i'm probably delulu but whatever)

user11 we've waited enough, i can't do this anymore😩 user12 we need to keep manifesting 🕯️🕯️

user13 STUNNING 😍

landonorris do you wanna build a snowman?

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user14 alright bro's in love 😂 user15 sir u need to keep workin on these pickup lines user16 lando no-rizz strikes again user17 user16 i meaaan irina loves disney movies, so i guess he does have the rizz 🤷‍♀️

user18 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 🔥🔥🔥

user19 okay but who was the photographer? 👀

user20 sis we all know the answer to that 😏

landonorris

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landonorris Happy birthday to the most intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman I've ever met. Love you, darling🧡

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user1 Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING OMFG

user2 MOM AND DAD 🗣️🗣️

user3 IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL

maxfewtrell woah hold on, irina was your gf?

georgerussell63 WAIT WHAT carlossainz55 WAIT WHAT alex_albon WAIT WHAT maxverstappen1 WAIT WHAT danielricciardo WAIT WHAT charles_leclerc WAIT WHAT landonorris y'all stfu 🙄 user4 LOOOOOOL user5 it was the worst secret ever kept 😂

user6 alexa play that should be me (u two are so cute tho😻)

user7 i wanna be sad but i'm actually so happy for them🥹 user8 user7 MOOD they're adorable 😍

user9 lando you lucky man 😳

user10 they're both lucky tbh user11 user10 hottest couple ever fr 🥵

user12 ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS CHAT WHATJSNFJKSNDKFFNCN

user13 YESSSSSJSNFKS IM SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY user14 we've waited MONTHS but it was so worth it🥹💗

mclaren QUEEN AND KING 👑💘

user15 admin is one of us, no doubt

user16 last pic it's so cute i can'tttt🥺

user17 lando is really setting a high standard here

user18 FR irinakrausse where did u find this man? asking for a friend user19 i need a lando in my life like rn

irinakrausse alexa play london boy by taylor swift

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irinakrausse oh and i love u moreeee🥰❤️‍🔥 user21 CUTEST COUPLE EVER user22 can u two adopt me please?🥺 user23 AND SHE'S A SWIFTIE? irina just became my fav wag 🛐

user24 ok ok but does this mean we'll get more of Irina at the races this year or what?

user25 i mean i hope so irinakrausse you'll have to wait and see (yes) user26 YAY OMFG I CANT WAIT !!!!!!

author's note: hope y'all enjoyed it! would love to know your thoughts <3 btw feel free to leave any request 🤍

[joels-shitty-puns]

I'm gonna make a request again (sorry your last one was too good for me not to ask again) but this time for a jealous Joel! Maybe the reader and him have been friends for a while and she's oblivious to his flirting and she finally lands a date? How it goes from there can be up to you! I just love the jealous and possessive trope.

The Jealousy Bug

Pairing: Jealous!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Hi!! I'm so sorry this took me so long to write, but thank you for the request!! I hope you like it!! I got a lil carried away... hope its not too much smut.

~~~~~

(Reader and Joel live in Jackson, amid the apocalypse)

Word count: 6.8K (oof)

Warnings: 18+ only, MDNI!! Smut smut smut. P in V sex (likely unprotected but not specified. Its an apocalypse, yo.), masturbation (m and f), sort of dubcon? voyeurism?? sorta?, kissing, talk of genitals and arousal, horny behavior. Explicit language and mean names. Alcohol. Violence: infected, guns, punching, mention of a knife. Joel is kind of a jerk sometimes. Possessive. Mentions of loss and grief (all within S.1 of TLOU). I haven't played part II yet so we're just gonna ignore what we know happens there. Joel and Ellie are happy in Jackson. Joel and Reader are friends and sort of neighbors. Clueless idiots in love. A total asshole of a guy in the town. Lil bit of fluff/romance? Mention of bugs (pill bugs), but not in a gross way. If I missed anything, please let me know, and I apologize!

Other Stuff: Avoidance of reader descriptors, other than reader is AFAB. Mentions of having hair on the noggin. She/her pronouns. Reader is clueless and also clumsy as hell. Reader also drinks coffee and alcohol. Italics indicate thoughts.

__________

It was around 4PM when you filed into the community center for another mandatory patrol meeting. It may be an apocalypse, but even now, you wished this meeting could have been an email instead. Alas, that was a thing of the past, and you were unfortunately stuck listening to the usual spiel about necessary vs. unnecessary items to raid… The importance of remembering to ABC, “Always Be Cautious,” plants that can and can't be eaten, etc.

You sat in your usual spot, the back row next to Joel Miller. A year ago when you first moved to this town, first started patrol, you came into this very room not knowing anyone. Friend groups stuck together, each of the two front rows filled, yet a few empty spaces here and there. Instead, you walked towards the back of the room. A handsome man, who you soon learned was named Joel, sat by himself, three rows back, behind the last full aisle. He was alone. The whole aisle of chairs was empty. He sat with his arms crossed, and you could tell based on his posing that he was not the social type. 

You were feeling a bit nervous, having finally found a sort of civilization in this mess, and hoping the people of Jackson accept you and not just shoot you, like most camps do when they see unknown faces. Unsure where to sit, you continued to head towards the back, slightly drawn to the gorgeous gray-haired man in the last row. Not wanting to intrude, you sat at the far end from Joel. You could feel his eyes on you as you sat, but you didn't dare look over and make eye contact. Years of survival instincts have told you that, especially when someone doesn't want to be bothered.

_____

When you first walked into the room, Joel looked up. He sat in the back row, as usual, not wanting to get close to anyone. However, even if he did, nobody gave him the time of day. They have heard stories of what he’s done, they have seen him around town, often grumbling about something. They could tell he wanted to be left alone and they had no interest in testing how badly he wanted to be left alone.

Joel found it easier to not form connections. Tommy kept telling him to make friends, come around more, socialize in the town. But Joel had learned over the years why making connections never ends well. All he has is Tommy and Ellie, and neither of those were his initial decision, but Tommy is his only family, and somehow he let himself care for Ellie.

But when Joel saw you… there was a flash of longing. He saw you smile gently at Tommy with a small wave. He could see you shrink walking to your seat past the cliques. You were beautiful, and if it were pre-pandemic, you'd be the exact type he'd probably take interest to.

But those days are over.

Or… so he thought.

He set his eyes back down on his hands in his lap, avoiding eye contact with you when you sat down at the end of the row from him.

Why did she sit so far away? Am I that horrible to be around? His heart questioned.

You don't want to be near people anyway. Good she sat far away. Leave me alone. His brain tried to argue.

Tommy droned on and on, the meeting nearing an hour by now, and you could feel Joel’s eyes on the side of your face every few minutes. You don't know why he kept staring, but it made you feel nervous. Did you have something on your face or clothes? Did you smell bad?

Tommy knew his brother well, sometimes more than Joel likes to admit out loud, and as he talked, he took note of Joel’s staring. At first his expression looked confused, maybe irritated or disgusted. Then it looked slightly… disappointed. But he kept stealing glances your direction, and so with a smirk, Tommy assigned the two of you to be on patrol together. Joel questioned his reasoning afterward, but he knew there was no point arguing with his brother.

After that day, you patrolled together. You both went to the bar with the group after meetings. You sat closer and closer to Joel. You managed to get some words out of him, and he listened to you chatter on. But it was when you brought him a cup of coffee before patrol one morning that he finally let down his guard. His heart had betrayed his defenses.

“What's this?” He asked, gruffly.

“Coffee, Joel…” you replied with a joking eye roll. “It's black. I know you don't like anything in it.”

He took a sip, shocked to taste that you actually knew how he took his coffee. “How did you know that?”

“I notice things Joel.” You patted his shoulder, walking towards the group.

_____

Now, a year later, the two of you were very close friends. You still surprised him with things you remembered or noticed, but much to his chagrin, the one thing you didn't pick up on were his advances. He'd call you pet names, be sweet to you, treat you like a gentleman, flirt a little, and it was like talking to a robot. You were clueless.

Tonight's meeting finally ended, the large group heading outside to the chill fall air. “You wanna get drinks with the patrol squad?” you asked Joel. 

“Wouldn't miss it,” he winked at you, putting his leather jacket on his shoulders.

Although you went as a group, ultimately you and Joel spent most of the nights in your own little bubble, occasionally making space in your circle for Tommy, or Maria if she joined.

Tonight, the two of you sat at the bar, the patrol group spread throughout the room at different tables. Joel excused himself to use the restroom, and while he was gone, Jimmy, one of the other patrol members approached you. Hurrying before Joel returned, he flirted and asked you out on a date. You told him you'd think about it, that you weren't sure if you were ready for a relationship after years of caution.

Not technically a lie, you thought. Although you really just weren't ready for a relationship because your heart was already taken by your handsome best friend. 

Joel returned just in time to see Jimmy walking away. “What did he want?” Joel grumbled. “Ah nothin, just wanted to say hi while getting a drink,” you lied. Joel accepted this answer and the two of you drank into the night. At the end of the evening, you seemed pretty drunk. Jimmy offered to walk you home, but before you had a chance to reply, Joel replied for you.

“I'll take her home, thanks.” He bit, turning you away from Jimmy. “I don't like the idea of that boy walkin’ you home. Don't trust ‘im. ‘Specially not when you're in this condition,” he wrapped an arm around you, shuffling you toward the door.

“You don't think I can handle myself, Joel?” You asked him, pulling away, a little bit irritated at him treating you like a weakling. “I seem to do just fine on patrol,” you argued.

“I know that, sugar. I didn't mean it like that. I just don't trust that guy. Heard how he goes through women. Don't want him trying’ anything with you,” he brushed his hand over your hair, causing you to soften at his words and actions.

You gasped lightly. “Is THE Joel Miller… jealous?” You knew he wasn't, but why not test the waters?

“What? Jealous? Of what? No ‘m not.” he balked. “Just lookin’ out for you…”

“Mmhm… you just wanna be the only big strong man walking me home, huh?” You teased, tripping over your own feet. 

Joel caught you in his arms. “Big strong man, huh? ‘S that what you think of me?” 

Shit… did I say that? You panicked. Maybe I'm more drunk than I thought…

Deciding to tease it off, you replied, “well you do always seem to catch me when I fall…” with a wink.

Falling in more ways than one… you thought, frustrated.

He rubbed his neck with the hand not holding you upright. You could almost see a pink tinge to his cheeks.

No, that has to be the lights playing tricks on my eyes… you thought. No way Joel Miller was blushing at your words.

“I kinda have to, ya big klutz. Practically a liability. I oughta tell Tommy to add a safety section on patrolling with you,” he bantered.

“Ah, shut up” you laughed with a push, causing yourself to lose balance instead of Joel. He just gave a knowing look, causing you both to laugh as you continued walking, now side by side instead of him holding you up.

After a few moments of silence, you spoke up. “You know, I could've walked myself home, Joel,” you stumbled, giggling.  

“Whoa there, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around you again, propping you up. “Don't worry about it. Let's just get you home. You've had way too much to drink.”

“You're so sweet Joel,” you pouted at him, booping his nose. “Joelly Joel.” You giggled. “Jolly Joelly.” Another giggle. “I dunno why people think you're so grumpy. I think you're just a big teddy bear,” you closed your eyes, leaning your head on his shoulder while he stumbled forward, trying to keep you upright.

“Who says I'm grumpy, darlin’?” He tilted his head towards you, smirking. “The whole town, silly. Silly Joelly. Joely-poly.” You gasped abruptly, causing Joel to jerk and turn to face you. “What? What is it?” His hand reached for his knife on his hip. Old habits die hard.

“Joely-poly!!” You squealed. “Awe! Roly-polies. Remember those!? I used to love them when I was little.” You pouted. “Before this whole world went to shit.”

Joel thought back to the little pill bugs, playing in the dirt with them when he was younger. Teaching his own daughter about them. His heart aches for what he lost, but he also thinks of Ellie. He bets she would love the little bugs too.

“That's a cute nickname for you,” you smiled. “They're so cute. Just,” you booped his nose. “Like.” Boop. “You,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tight. Another gasp from your lips.

He flinched again. “Darlin’, if you don't quit that I swear-”

“Joeeeel!” You pouted. “Do you think the roly-polies all died off with the infection!?” Your eyes welled up.

“Oh, sweetheart, don't cry. There's probably still some out there. Bugs could get cordyceps long before the fungus attacked humans, and they were still alive back then.” You looked up into his deep brown eyes through your fluttering lashes. “You really think so?” You leaned in, placing both your hands on his cheeks. His breath caught in his chest. “Darlin’, you drank a lot tonight-” you cut off his sentence, running your hands down his neck, resting your palms on his chest. His heart was beating a mile a minute. If he didn't know better, he'd worry his heart would leap out and fly away. 

Your eyes lit up and you slid off his chest, lowering clumsily to the ground and gripping his sides for balance. You were now on your knees, eye level with his crotch, hands on his hips. His breath was ragged and his stomach full of twirling butterflies. “Wh-what do you think you're doin’?” He asked nervously. You looked up at him with big eyes, your hands slowly falling down from his hips to his thighs as you tried to balance yourself in your drunken state. He couldn't help but feel his pants begin to tent at the position you were in. He would never take advantage of you in your current state, but trying to ignore the desire brewing in his body after so many months of unrequited feelings was challenging. Did you finally see his advances for what they were? Feelings instead of friendliness?

You grinned up at him, finally regaining balance. “I'm gonna go look for ‘em!” you turned and waddled away on your knees, heading a couple feet away, towards a patch of flowers off the path.

She just needed to use me as a ladder, or what…? Joel thought to himself with a sigh and shaking his head in disappointment, his sexual frustration at its breaking point.

You crawled forward, falling onto your hands and knees in the soft dirt. Joel quickly stepped forward to try and grab you but realized, despite your lack of grace, you meant to do that. “Ugh… darlin', it's dark out here. It's cold. You're drunk. Let's get you home.”

“I'm looking for buggies, Joel!!” You leaned towards a leaf, arching downward so that your face was closer to the ground, ass up. 

“Oh, have mercy…” Joel groaned under his breath, his eyes drifting downward. Your ass was up in the air, facing him, the fabric of your dress having fallen forward towards your front. Your light pink panties were on full display for Joel, leaving little to his imagination in this position. Joel subtly adjusted his pants, looking up to the sky and shaking his head in a silent plea. 

You whined. “Joel, I don't see any.” You leaned farther forward, wiggling your butt somehow higher. Joel looked around, panicked at the thought that someone else might see you in this position. But luckily, you were close to your house and it was just the two of you out here. He turned back to you again. “I think it's time you get up and we go in-” you moved further forward, the streetlight shining above you and illuminating your ass. Joel tried to be a gentleman, but his eyes betrayed him. As he snuck another glance, he couldn't help but notice a little wet spot over the crotch of your panties. “In-inside…” he finished his sentence, words catching in his throat. He gulped, trying to divert his eyes. 

Taking a shaky breath and stepping forward, trying to ignore the throbbing need in his pants, he lightly grabbed your arm. “It's time to go sweetheart. The bugs are sleepin’ I think.” 

You looked at him and smiled mischievously. “I know, Joel,” you winked. Jumping up, you scampered towards your house, leaving Joel to wonder what the hell just happened.

“Woman's gonna be the death of me,” Joel muttered under his breath to himself. He caught up to you, just as you both approached your house. “Joel, I don't wanna go home. Can't I stay with you? And Ellie?” you batted your eyelashes at him. He rubbed his neck. “Ellie's with a friend tonight. But, you do have a point. You probably shouldn't be left by yourself in this state. Don't want you gettin’ hurt, or sick, and bein’ all alone.”

“Such a gentleman, Joel.” You touched his bicep, the two of you walking towards Joel's house across the street.

Hardly, he thought, grimacing at the reason he was aching in his trousers, feeling like an old creep, and a terrible excuse for a friend.

Once inside Joel's house, he gave you a baggy sleep shirt and a glass of water with some crackers to help with the alcohol. You changed, brushed your teeth with a spare toothbrush, and used the restroom. He let you have his bed, while he took the couch down the hall, scrunching his legs up to barely fit.

_____

Joel tried his hardest to ignore what he saw earlier and just go to bed, but the aching only continued, making it impossible to sleep. Sure that you must have fallen asleep by now, tucked away in his bed down the hall, he quietly reached into his pajama bottoms and boxers, pulling out his rock-hard penis. Even the mere touch of removing himself from his pants caused him to hiss, so worked up he could have cum just watching you bent over earlier.

He was a gentleman, but he was still a man, and one that hadn't been with a woman in a very long time. With as many people as he'd lost by one means or another, he'd told himself he wouldn't get close to anyone else. Sarah's mom. Sarah. Tess. Bill and Frank. Sam and Henry. He almost thought he had lost Tommy before Jackson, too. It was against his wishes that Ellie crawled her way into his heart, and then he almost lost her as well. He was beginning to think maybe it was him. He was cursed, doomed to have anyone he loved ripped away from him.

Which is why when you came to Jackson, he tried his best to ignore you. But you always greeted him, cheerful and sweet, like a little ball of sunshine that was somehow untarnished by the storm clouds of an apocalypse.

He was irritated to realize that he had made room in his heart for you. You caused an ache in his heart that yearned to be filled. A missing piece in his soul. A place for him to someday fit, tangled between sheets and loving words. It had been about a year since you moved to Jackson, and he still feared getting too close to you, yet he would try his hardest to woo you the way a gentleman should. Sweet nicknames, flirting, gentle touches. You never picked up on it. Whether or not you felt the same, he stupidly fell in love. Unsure if it was mutual, yet pretty sure it wasn't after all this time, he tried to ignore the dirty thoughts revolving around you when the late-night urges would hit him. Somehow it felt wrong.

But tonight, it was hard to avoid. Having you touch him. His face, his neck, his chest, his hips, his thighs. Kneeling eye level with his crotch. Slinking away, sticking your barely covered ass in the air, letting your wet panties be shown to him and only him. He couldn't get you out of his head as he stroked himself. First slowly, but then harder and faster, trying to reach his climax with the thought of him burying himself in that sweet spot underneath your wet underwear. How he longed to see you with his own eyes, begging for him.

He tried to be quiet, to keep himself hidden from you down the hall, but the noise of skin on skin grew slightly louder with each of his quiet moans and panting breaths that managed to slip from his lips. Imagining himself buried deep inside you, taking you from behind in the same position he saw you in earlier, imagining the tight grip around him and the slick noises he could only fantasize about. He could practically hear you moaning and sighing, the sound seeping from his subconscious to the living room. He pumped harder, swirling his thumb around the head, drooling with precum, as his climax grew closer. He could feel his strokes becoming less controlled and his balls pulling upward as he began to shoot load after load of white hot release up under his shirt onto his stomach. Stroking himself through it, he milked his last few ropes of cum out before laying back to catch his breath, slowly tucking himself back away in his pants.

Coming back to his senses, he realized the sounds of your moans and whimpers that he was imagining were still happening. Taken out of his fantasies when he finished, there was no reason for the sounds to still be in his head. Needing to grab a cloth from the linen closet down the hall anyway, he walked, nearing his bedroom door, and heard the unmistakable sound of you pleasuring yourself. Quietly, he padded down the hallway, closer to the door. He could tell you were trying to be quiet, but could still hear you, soft whimpers and pants, surrounded by wet schlick noises.

Fuck, he thought. He could feel himself already getting excited again, despite having just released a few minutes ago. He desperately wanted to join you in his bed, or at the least, stand by the door and listen to your sounds while pleasuring himself, but he wasn't going to be a creep, nor scare you to death. You were still his friend. Even if he did want to move the couch across the living room to hear you better.

_____

Meanwhile in Joel's room, you had tried to sleep. You really had. But tossing and turning, each roll causing your nose to be surrounded with his scent, you were thrown into a frenzy, like an animal in heat. Each smell of his cologne, shaving cream, deodorant, and natural body scent that you picked up from his bed sent a wave of arousal directly to your core. You wondered how many times he'd pleasured himself in this bed and how frequently. You wondered if he ever thought of you while doing it, imagining himself buried deep to the hilt inside of you, each drag of his cock more perfect than the last, much like you were imagining now.

You would be lying if you didn't say there were a lot of handsome men in Jackson. Granted, you had been without romance for a very long time, but still. Many of them were single, and some of them were very sweet and friendly. Yet for some strange reason, your heart had been drawn to Joel. The first moment you saw him, with his silvery curls and his grumpy face, his shining brown eyes and his patched beard, you were smitten. You were a bit disappointed that he seemed to be a massive grump, but despite what everyone said, he was always nice to you. Granted, you were always nice to him, so why should he be anything less, right?

He was always a total gentleman, calling you names like darlin’ and sweetheart, his southern drawl pulling you in like a lasso. His care for his unofficially-adopted daughter warmed your heart, and you could see he was a real family man from both their relationship, and the one he shared with his brother. It warmed your heart, especially when you befriended Tommy and Ellie, getting to hear them talk about Joel. Seeing the love they feel, even if they give him a hard time sometimes. You didn't see how people felt Joel was cruel or heartless, even with the stories you heard. Times were rough, and people did what they had to for survival. 

You were always too chicken to make a move, and you figured he wouldn't be interested anyway. Surely him calling you those names and being sweet with you was just his Southern gentlemanly nature, right? You were nice to him, he was nice to you. 

So tonight, when Jimmy, the local heartthrob in town, asked you on a date, you told him you'd think about it and let him know. Yeah, you claimed you weren't sure how you felt about relationships after all the world had become. Truth was, you wanted a last chance with Joel before throwing in the towel and settling for Jimmy.

Sure, Jimmy was handsome. Blonde hair, blue eyes, rugged, yet boyish. Several of the women in town had crushes on him, and he had had several of the women in town. You weren't clueless to the rumors about his playboy behavior. But it had been a while and well, you weren't getting any younger. It might be nice to have a partner, even if he did only want a short little fling. 

So throwing back a few drinks, you decided you needed the liquid courage to finally make a move at Joel. One last effort to get his attention. You still didn't want to say anything to him, lest it ruin your current friendship that had grown so strong, but you could certainly use your body to entice a little. Drinking just enough to be brave, yet not so drunk that you were completely out of it, you gave an impression you were much drunker than you were, and needed Joel to help you out. Jimmy had almost been the one to walk you home, to your disappointment, before Joel stepped in, seeming slightly irritated about Jimmy's offer.

Yet after practically waving your ass in his face, showing him your panties (which you were sure looked wet), being inches from his crotch at knee height, and hanging on him all the way home, to now sleeping in his house and his bed, you were quite sure he didn't feel the same. Obviously his gestures were pure gentlemanly charm if he didn't bite after tonight's show.

So you tried to sleep, still a little drunk, but getting drunker off his scent. You tried to ignore the ache between your legs but the thought of him in this bed, groaning as his hand pumped his member to completion, made you throb. Soaked and antsy, you finally gave in and stuck your hand under the waistband of your panties. You let your imagination run wild, picturing him taking you in this bed, bringing you to bliss more than once. You could practically hear him groaning and panting, the sound seeping from your subconscious to the bedroom.

Tomorrow you would likely tell Jimmy yes. But tonight, you would try your best to get Joel out of your system, one stroke of your fingers at a time. But as you finished, coming with a whisper of Joel's name under your breath, you could still hear the groans and pants from Joel. Climbing out of bed, you moved to the door, pressing your ear against it. You could just barely hear the sounds of him panting and groaning, intermittent with the fapping of skin on skin. Delightedly surprised, you listened harder, feeling your pussy drool at the thought. How desperately you wanted to go out into the living room and climb on top of him. But he might not want that… he probably just couldn't sleep. Probably nothing to do with the scene you put on earlier. So instead, you slinked back to his bed, opting for round two.

At some point, the two of you fell asleep, panting and writhing with the self-induced pleasure, and the sound of each other through the door.

_____

The next morning, you awoke, walking down the hall to see Joel in his pajama bottoms and no shirt, making coffee. Your eyes scanned his broad shoulders and back, naked and tan. Bringing you back to last night's events, you felt your breath catching in your chest. 

“M-morning” you stuttered out, nervously.

Joel jumped, having not heard you. He turned, greeting you with a good morning. A faint blush crept across his cheeks and he quickly turned his head to pour a cup of coffee, offering you some as well. Thanking him, the two of you sipped in silence, both stealing glances at the other and thinking of the night before. Both of you felt like you had a dirty little secret the other didn't know. 

“Thanks again for taking care of me last night,” you added. In more ways than one, you thought.

“Of course, darlin’. Couldn't have you walkin’ home all alone or getting sick in the middle of the night. You're always welcome here,” he smiled.

“Well, I guess I better head to my house now,” you sighed. “See you later at patrol?”

“Course. Take care, sugar.” He brushed his hand over your arm. That's new… you thought. But still, probably friendly, unfortunately.

____

Hours later, you show up to patrol, noticing Joel hasn't arrived yet. Still a few minutes early, you look at the map, thinking over the route. You felt a tap on your shoulder, and turned around to see Jimmy. 

“Hey, Jimmy,” you greeted, feeling slightly awkward. You assumed he probably wanted (and deserved) an answer. You rubbed your arm nervously, staring at the ground, wondering what to tell him. He was handsome, you thought, and you weren't getting anywhere with Joel. 

“Did you, uh” Jimmy scratched behind his ear, “give any more thought to that date?”

Geesh. Not a lot of thinking time here…

“I did,” you replied. “I think… My answer is yes. I'll go out with you.” You felt a pang of regret in your stomach, but you wanted a connection, and you just weren't getting that from Joel, despite what you wanted to think from last night.

Jimmy grinned. “Really?” He picked up your hand, holding it in his. “That's great. I know you have patrol today, but maybe Friday? I'll meet you at your house at 6?” 

“Sure,” you gave a small fake smile. “Sounds great.” He still held your hand, warm and soft and nothing like the rugged, large, callused hands of hard-working Joel. Although Joel has never held your hand, the times he's touched your arms, or held you up on your walk from the bar, he left a trail of goosebumps and butterflies in his wake, despite being warm to the touch.

Jimmy went to kiss your hand, just as Joel walked up. “What’s goin’ on here, huh?” He asked, seeming almost… angry, looking from Jimmy, to your connected hands, over to your face. “Joel,” Jimmy dropped your hand, giving Joel a curt nod.

“Jimmy..” Joel replied, teeth clenched. 

“I'll see you Friday,” Jimmy smiled at you, touching your shoulder before walking away.

“What did that little asshole want?” Joel growled.

“Geez Joel, chill out. What's your problem? I'm not allowed to talk to people?” You crossed your arms.

“I toldja last night. I don't trust that kid. Too busy sleepin’ around with the whole town. What's he talkin’ to you for?” Joel furrowed his brow, looking over at Jimmy across the room, now talking to some of the other patrolmen.

“Gosh Joel.. seriously what is wrong with you? First of all, he's hardly a kid. He's at least in his thirties. Second of all, everyone he's been with, I'm sure has been consensual, otherwise Tommy would have kicked him out of the town. And lastly, but probably more important. What do you mean “what is he talking to you for?” You mocked in a deep voice. “Like I'm the only option he has left? Like I'm not deserving of a man talking to me? Not that it’s any of your business, friend, but for your information, Jimmy is taking me on a date on Friday. So fuck off, Joel.” You started to stomp away angrily, grabbing your pack off the desk.

“The fuck he is,” Joel muttered under his breath, so quiet you didn't hear and grabbing his pack as well.

_____

Five hours. Five hours of riding in complete silence, checking out abandoned buildings in complete silence, and taking breaks in complete silence. Even your first patrol wasn't this quiet, and you couldn't help but feel like he was somehow angry at you.

As irritated as you were with him, not talking to him somehow felt worse. This wasn't like him. Is this the grumpy side everyone talks about? Is this Joel, the asshole you have yet to meet?

Feeling confused, your eyes started to cloud, slightly teary with anger and sadness, yet also a bit of dread at going out with Jimmy. You blinked your eyes, sorting through the abandoned drug store you and Joel were in.

Finding some condoms on a shelf, you threw them in your pack. “What're you doin’?” Joel asked. “Those can't be sold, didn't you pay attention to Tommy? They're rarely effective this old.”

“Yes I paid attention, Joel. I know they can't be sold. They're for me. I figured it's better than nothing,” you replied bitterly. “I have a date in a couple days, I want to be prepared,” you scowled. Joel’s jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything, instead turning to look the other direction of the aisle.

Crouched down to search the bottom shelf for other items, Joel was still turned away from you, keeping lookout on the other end of the aisle. 

You didn't even hear the stalker leap around the corner from the shadows and pounce on you. It opened its mouth, fungal strands spreading from its mouth towards your face. Pure fear pulsed through your veins.

“Joel!!!!!” You cried out, using all your strength to try and push the infected off of your body, but it was too strong. 

You screamed and kicked, struggling to break free, when Joel fired his shotgun, shooting the enemy in the head and immediately running over to you. Throwing the infected off of your body as if it was weightless, Joel scooped you into his arms. His lips moved but you heard nothing. Your ears rang, high pitched squeals from adrenaline, fear, shock, and the bang of the shotgun.

Joel pawed over your body, roughly inspecting you for bites and wounds in a frenzy. When he didn't find any, he held you in his arms again. “It's okay baby, it's okay. You're alright sweetheart. Come back to me, it's okay. You're okay.” Your hearing must have returned. He rocked you, tears welling from your eyes and his. “You're okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.” He kissed your ear and the side of your head, still rocking you in a hug, sitting on the floor, inches from the now-dead infected. The two of you needed to get out of here, but neither of you could move yet.

Finally you spoke. “Why are you sorry Joel?” You asked with a sniffle. You wrapped your arm around his back, the other hand finding the back of his head, gripping his curls gently.

“I'm sorry for how I've been actin’ all day. I'm sorry I didn't see that stalker before he attacked. I'm sorry for being so possessive earlier. I'm sorry,” he held you tighter.

You pulled back to look into his eyes. “Joel, you couldn't have heard or seen that stalker. That's what they do best. You saved me and that's all that matters. As for earlier, you were being an asshole, and it did really hurt my feelings. All this time people have said you're such a jerk, and I didn't see it,” you pulled away from his grip, “but today I did.” You looked at your lap. “Don't I deserve to go on a date? Don't I deserve to have someone love me?” You picked at the hem of your pants, avoiding his eye contact.

“Oh, darlin', I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way. I just - you deserve something real, not a hookup like that guy wants. I know his type. He'll sleep with you and toss you aside. You deserve to be treated like a lady.”

You snorted. “Yeah, Joel. That's how things are nowadays, too. Gentleman just waiting to sweep me off my feet. Shit, you literally just saved me from near-death, something that happens all the time today, and yet you're saying I deserve love? To find romance? Yeah, right.”

Joel didn't say anything. He just looked into your eyes, lips pursed and moving to the side in thought. His eyes drifted to your lips and back up to your sight.

You continued. “I don't even like Jimmy,” you said quietly. “I like someone else, but I just got tired of waiting and wanted some kind of connection. Even if it's just a night in bed.” At the last part of your sentence, Joel grimaced, almost in pain. And then he thought.

“Wait,” he sat back a little, scanning your face. “Who do you like?” 

You gulped. Why not a little more adrenaline? “Well, it was you, until you started acting like an asshole. But I realized you probably didn't feel the same way a while ago. Especially after I practically threw myself at you last night.”

“Threw yourself at me last night? What are you talkin’ about? You were drunk,” Joel answered.

“I wasn't that drunk, Joel. My movements were pretty planned. The placement of my touches on your body. My ass angled up in your direction. I wanted you,” you added, pointedly.

Joel looked like he was solving a complicated math problem. “So you… last night when you… I heard you, in bed, pleasurin’ yourself. Were you… thinking about me?”

You looked up at him in shock and panic. “You heard me?” You asked in a frantic whisper.

“Yeah, I uh… I did. I got up to get a towel and heard your uh… sounds” he cleared his throat.

“I guess I should tell you then that I heard you too,” you said with a smirk.

Joel swallowed, hard. “Y-ya heard me?”

“Yep” you replied, popping your lips on the p sound.

Joel had nothing to lose at this point. “I was thinking about you,” he proclaimed. “Thinkin’ bout that wet spot on your panties when you flashed your ass in the air. Wishin’ I was buried inside you.” He ran his hand across your thigh.

Your breathing picked up. “I was thinking about you too. Wishing you'd bust through that door and take me in your bed, running my nails down your back as we came together…” you mimicked the motion with your fingers down his jacket-clad back.

“Fuck,” he hissed, eyes closing. You glanced down at the noticeable bulge in his jeans. “I like you too, I just never thought you felt the same. Y’never seemed to pick up on any of my sweet talkin’ or my names for ya.”

“I just figured you were being nice,” you replied, glancing back into his eyes.

“You should know by now, I'm only nice to you,” he growled. “I'm sorry I ruined that today,” he glanced at your mouth, licking his lips. “Was just jealous. Want you all for myself,” he stroked your thigh again.

You sighed at the feeling, pulling him by his collar to kiss him deeply. The kiss was frantic and rough, both of you trying to get as much of each other as possible, a year of build-up boiling at the surface. Teeth clashed and tongues danced and you pulled each other closer, grasping at clothes and skin. 

The two of you broke the kiss, needing a gasp of air. You started to take off your shirt when Joel stopped you. “Whoa, darlin'. I want you just as bad, but not here,” he gestured to the old building. “It's dangerous, not to mention gross in here. I wasn't kidding when I said you deserve romance,” he stood, pulling you to your feet. “We're about a 20 minute ride from base, let's head home. Make your fantasy of fuckin’ in my bed come true,” he winked, giving a smack to your ass. 

_____

The 20 minute ride felt never-ending as you both stole glances at each other, your panties still wet with arousal, and him still sporting the tent in his pants, which was hard to miss. 

Finally making it back to the stables, you both quickly undressed the horses and put gear away, about to head out of the barn when Jimmy and his partner rode up. “Hey, babe,” he called to you. It sounded wrong from his mouth. Joel tensed at your side.

Dismounting his horse, Jimmy strolled over to you. “Hey Jimmy, I was thinking. I don't think I want to go on that date after all. I'm sorry, I just don't feel the same way.”

“What?” Jimmy asked in disbelief.

“I know, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I- I like someone else. I just didn't think they felt the same way,” you replied sheepishly.

“Fuck you,” he spat.

“What?” You were in disbelief.

“Fuck you, bitch. One of the few women in this town who won't fuckin’ put out. I was even gonna take you on some shitty date before I got you into bed, and now you make a fool of me? Nah, I don't think so,” he stalked towards you angrily. 

You stepped back, worried what he might do, but Joel stepped in first, nailing a punch at Jimmy's nose. “Don't you dare talk to her like that,” Joel yelled.

Tommy came running in, hearing the commotion. After hearing what happened, it was decided that Jimmy wouldn't be welcome in this town any longer.

Satisfied, you grabbed Joel's hand. “Why don't I show you who I really belong to?” You looked up at him, biting your lip.

“Lead the way, baby.” He pushed you forward, smacking your ass.

The two of you stumbled into his house, kissing with little regard for objects. Luckily, Ellie was still at a friend's house. The door slammed closed and you kissed furiously, undressing as you walked. Finally you reached his bedroom and fell onto the bed, where he made all your fantasies of the night prior come true. The two of you enjoyed the taste of each other's mouths, kissing and licking, while he pounded into you, leaving you breathless and screaming his name as you both came.

“That was even better than I imagined,” you sighed, rolling over onto his chest.

“That's my girl,” he cooed, kissing your head and rubbing your back.

“Mine,” he whispered.

[runicarbiter02]

Helllooo! Request are open and I'm running over here. Can I request hdc for alejandro vargas and ghost, being jealous because there crush is a little bit touching with another men. Thank youu honey.

A/N: This is definitely an interesting one! I'd be happy to write these for you, since you specifically specified them, I'll just do them for this one. :) I hope you enjoy, darling! I'm still learning how to write for Ale, so I apologize if he's a bit OOC! Also, thank you all for over 1,000 notes on my first headcanon request! I am so, so happy you all are liking the post! ~ Hannah

ALEJANDRO VARGAS

I imagine with Alejandro, this would be a slow burn friends to lovers sort of situation. You, Alejandro, and Rudy have all been friends since you all joined up together. Alejandro has always been on the flirtier side with most people, which is why whenever he flirts with you, you don't tend to think much of it. That's just who he is, right?

Los Vaqueros had just gotten a new member, a young, handsome man in his mid-twenties. He's conventionally attractive and funny, which some of the other women definitely admire, but your thoughts are elsewhere. Unfortunately - or fortunately, if you look at it a certain way - you were assigned to show him around the base and get him up to speed.

Cut to the both of you in the mess hall on base, chattering away. Alejandro sees the both of you, and his blood boils. Who does this hijo de puta think that he is?

What really pisses him off is when the young man leans in, saying something that makes you laugh and you playfully shove him away with a coy smile. Alejandro quickly storms out, furious with the young man, but furious with himself for getting so upset.

He doesn't realize you follow him out until he feels your hand on his shoulder.

"Ale? What's wrong, hermano?" If only you knew how much he hated that nickname coming from your lips.

When he turns, one look at how concerned you are, and all his frustrations come spilling from his lips. He's just about to brush it off as him being silly when you don't respond right away before a laugh is erupting from you.

"Ale, he's not into me. He's just friendly. I thought he was flirting with me earlier, but he let me know that he's no even interested in sexual stuff. He's ace," You reassure, and suddenly, Alejandro feels ridiculously stupid. But that falls aside when you stand on your toes and brush a kiss to his cheek. "Now come on, cariño, you need to eat." His eyes follow you as you return to the mess hall, and he's stunned into silence.

Maybe he feels a little less bad about getting jealous.

SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

This man hates his jealousy. Despises it.

But, it's a part of him nonetheless, and it's something he has to live with.

I imagine it as quiet, little things around base that really gets to him: you're a medic, a really good one at that, and the men absolutely love you for how kindly you treat them all. You have patience, but you aren't afraid to bark orders at them if they're acting out of place.

"MacTavish, if you rip your stitches one more time, I'll kick your ass into next fucking week." "Captain, I don't care if you have more paperwork to do, get your ass in bed before I drag you there myself." "Hold still or I will personally strap you to this cot myself, rookie."

Your feisty nature and take-no-shit attitude is absolutely what drew him to you initially. Cue almost a year of pining on his end, and on your end, but not to his knowledge.

The final straw that ultimately cracks his resolve is a young sergeant that is trying to flirt with you while you stitch up a bullet wound on his side. It's obvious you're just being polite as you accept his compliments and hum in response at his attempts at flirting, but it still rubs Simon the wrong way.

Simon's jealousy is quiet, boiling, settling in the center of his chest. Every touch of yours against the sergeant's skin merely stokes the flames, but he does nothing, continuing to brood in the corner. He waits until you're done, shooing the young man off with a half-assed threat of harm if he ruins his stitches. That's when you finally notice him.

"Ghost, what have I told you about lurking in my med bay?" You tease softly before taking note of the hard look in his eyes. Slowly, you put two and two together, chuckling softly. "Ah, I see. C'mere, big guy."

He isn't mad. Not at all. All he can think about is that young man, who has all he doesn't: charm, good looks, youth, and the blessing of a childhood unscarred by a demon of a father. Simon isn't so lucky.

He can't stop himself as he follows your instructions, stepping into your office and taking a seat at your desk as you close the door. You sit on top of your desk and smile down at him before you hold out your hand expectantly. He furrows his brows but gives you his hand anyway, grumbling something about how he "doesn't know where your filthy mitts have been."

As soft kisses are pressed to his knuckles, however, he goes quiet. "Silly, jealous man. Can't even see that I look at you the same way you look at me. Eyes of a hawk, my ass," You tease.

He turns every shade of red beneath his damn balaclava, and you're damn certain to tease him about it as he melts back into the seat.

Hijo de puta - Son of a bitch

Hermano - Brother

Cariño - Honey; dear

TAGLIST

@floral-force

[keerysfreckles]

OKAY BUUT IF ITS NOT TO MUCH CAN U DO A LUKE CASTELLAN X APOLLO READER AND LIKE IF U EVER HEARD pure as the driven snow (hunger games song) I CAN TOTALLY SEE APOLLO READER SINGING THIS TO HIM INFRONT OF PEOPLE

(Sorry for typing in caps I got excited 😰 but it’s okay if u don’t this request 🫶🫶🫶)

mamma mia — luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x apollo fem!reader

warnings: none!

a/n: i did twist this request only with the song, i used lay all your love on me by abba :) i hope you still like it!

masterlist !

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

saturday's were y/n's favorite day. not only because it was a free day throughout the whole camp, but also because of the apollo singalong at the bonfire.

every weekend a camper or two from apollo's cabin would take turns performing to start off the night. this weekend it was y/n's turn.

herself, and her two closest friends from the cabin were all getting ready. abigail, a tall brunette, was wearing a blue and purple 70s inspired jumpsuit. they were flared at the bottom of the legs and elbows of the sleeves. she finished the look with her hair straightened with a matching purple scarf acting as a headband.

stephanie, a shorter blonde, was wearing a green and silver two piece 70s set. it was a halter styled top, paired with bell bottom pants. she wore the same white boots abigail had, and had her platinum blonde hair in a ponytail, with her bangs covering her forehead.

stephanie and abigail were currently setting up their mini stage for their performance. the other campers were starting to file in the area, filling the empty seats of the amphitheatre fairly quickly. stephanie noticed hermes' cabin was front and center. both girls knew y/n would love the fact her boyfriend was right in front of the stage.

abigail and stephanie finished setting the stage, and went to get y/n from the cabin as chiron and mr. d started to announce tonight's events.

"will you hurry up? lover boy is out there waiting," stephanie walks into the cabin, before looking over her outfit once more in the mirror.

"what steph means to say, is the stage is set, and camp is waiting for you," abigail stands behind y/n at the shared vanity, and places her hands on her shoulders.

y/n continues fiddling with her hair, which was teased slightly, with a white headband, with a few front pieces framing her face. she had a similar 70s inspired outfit like abigails. hers was pink and orange, and the top was cropped. her bottoms were the same colors and they had five layers of ruffles adorning the bottom. of course, she had matching white boots just like her sisters.

"what if i mess up?" y/n asks no one in particular.

abigail continues rubbing her shoulders, "you've never messed up one of our performances, why is this one so different?"

y/n shrugs, "maybe the fact luke and i are dating now? and i guess i still want to impress him."

"he's impressed with anything you do," stephanie speaks up from the other side of the cabin, "this can just be another thing he brags about to his friends. how cool his girlfriend, and her friends, are."

y/n stands from the vanity, and simply holds her arms out, "group hug before we go out there."

stephanie and abigail happily oblige before the trio start walking towards the amphitheatre. the three girls grab their matching white microphones and get into their very stereotypical stances on stage, just as chiron finishes his speech.

the music starts, which makes all the campers quit their side conversations.

abigail, y/n and stephanie who were in a line, were now in a triangle, as abigail starts singing.

"i wasn't jealous before we met. now every woman i see is a potential threat. and i'm possessive it isn't nice. you've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice."

abigail continues to sing the second verse, when y/n takes the center of the stage as abigail and stephanie stand behind her.

"don't go wasting your emotion, lay all your love on me."

as soon as y/n met luke's eyes as she sang her line, she could've sworn she saw hearts in his eyes.

stephanie sang the next two verses, as y/n and abigail had choreography while they were behind the blonde.

y/n moved to the middle again, and the trio all began dancing with the same choreography. she started singing thr chorus again.

"don't go wasting your emotion, lay all your love on me. don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me."

the campers had started clapping along and moving to the rhythm of the song, as the girls on stage sang another verse and the chorus a few more times.

as the song came to a close, y/n brought both of her friends into a hug, before chiron instructed for the ares cabin to gather the firewood for the bonfire.

y/n was talking with abigail and stephanie on stage, and shrieked when she felt a pair of arms pick her up and spin her around. her feet land on the marble ground instead of the stage. she turns in the stranger's arms and her smile grows once she sees luke.

"you look like you walked right out of an abba music video," he laughs.

"that was kinda the point babe," she leans up and kisses his cheek. "did you like the song?"

luke nods quickly, "you all were amazing, but you," he paused to kiss y/n's forehead, "i couldn't keep my eyes of you."

"it was meant for you, if you couldn't put that together," y/n giggles.

"oh i was hoping it was meant for me. if it was for any other camper i wouldn't hesitate to share a few words with you missy," he tries to sound affirmative with y/n, but it only makes the girl laugh more. the couple and the rest of the campers who were standing were all instructed to sit by chiron, as the ares' kids all came back with firewood.

luke kissed y/n's cheek once more before he dragged her to sit with him for the rest of the night.

[sweetkpopmusings]

felix coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i've got headspace focus music playing and i'm in my stray kids feels today so here is another coworker headcanons post !! this one realllllyyyy catapulted me into felix feelings, so i hope it brings you comfort and serotonin as well <333 pics not mine !!

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none really! some mentions of food | pairing: coworker!felix x gn!reader | requests: open

oh sweet felix!! 

you’ll never forget his first day–the receptionist was walking him through the workspace, introducing him to everyone, and explaining their roles. felix, a genuine ray of sunshine on that gloomy monday morning, smiled and waved at everybody with pure enthusiasm :’-)

when the receptionist introduced you, felix pointed at the mug on your desk and commented on how cute he thought it was ! you could practically hear the exclamation points in his voice when he spoke :,-)

later in the day, you noticed he was struggling with the coffee machine how rude of the coffee machine

you offered to help–though admittedly, you didn’t know much about it either–and he was so so grateful someone was being this kind to him 

like he actually was so touched he ended up telling his friends about it that night :,-(

but anyways back to you and felix vs. the coffee machine

eventually you did get it working…you just pressed different buttons a ridiculous number of times until felix’s hot chocolate came out properly

once his mug was full, felix cheered and high-fived you, promising to pay you back one day for your service

you assured him that he doesn’t owe you anything and that you’re happy he isn’t defeated by the coffee machine on his first day

that led you two into a conversation about what it’s like to work here, the do’s and don’t’s of the office, the cool people, tips and tricks for boring meetings, and so on

felix looks up to you so much after this interaction :,,,,-)

he calls you his mentor <333 

it doesn’t matter that you work in completely different departments–even the person who is supposed to be mentoring felix refers to you as his mentor lmao

at the end of his probation period, felix bakes brownies for you because he swears he wouldn’t have survived this long without you to keep him company <33333333

you two share the brownies during your lunch break while watching silly little videos 

it’s so cute that everyone is jealous but they wouldn’t dare interrupt because they know for a FACT that you’re felix’s favorite

aside from being your personal baker, felix loves to play little pranks on you in the office

they’re super harmless–i’m talking pranks like leaving stickers in random places around your workspace, so you can transfer them to your laptop or water bottle whenever you find them–but he is THRILLED every time you get a surprised look on your face as a result of his antics

there’s no doubt in your mind that felix was behind it, so you look over to where he’s sitting and he’s just staring at you like >:^)

while he’s too far away for you to hear him, you know that he’s doing his classic little heh heh and plotting his next attack :,-)

felix also has cute polaroids at his desk !!

you get him one as a gift :,-) and he cherishes it so much !!!!

it’s displayed at the center of all his polaroids and he even wrote “from y/n <3” on the bottom of it so everyone knew it was his most special one :-( 

he encourages you to decorate your desk because he thinks it's important to have things that make you smile while you're working !! and he's so right for that

if you don’t know where to start, felix will dedicate an afternoon to making a mood board for inspiration

he loves nothing more than shopping online with you for the perfect items

felix gets so invested that he helps you to organize everything and workshops all possible setups before you both decide on the best one though honestly he’s more concerned about it being the optimal arrangement than you are lol

after your new desk decorations are complete, felix proudly takes a picture of you at your redesigned workstation

when you make that your profile pic for your work chatting platform, felix just about faints from happiness

he’s practically twirling his hair, giggling, and kicking his feet when he messages you “nice profile pic!!” :,,,,,-) <3333

felix, though known as being happy-go-lucky, is far more in-tune with your emotions than you realize

if you come in sleep-deprived, felix is the first one to ask you if you would like coffee/tea/a pick-me-up

when you’re feeling stressed due to an upcoming deadline or having a pile of work upon your return from vacation, felix stays late with you to prioritize all your tasks so you have a clear game plan

he’s also always, always, always reminding you to take breaks !!

it’s a mini tradition for you two to do desk stretches together :-( like you just look at each other from across the workspace and do the same stretches while making funny faces at each other and holding back all your giggles :-((((

activities and conversations with felix become so embedded in your daily routine that you can’t imagine how you got through the workday before he started here

one quiet afternoon when you two are hanging out in the breakroom, you ask him why he takes such good care of you

without missing a beat, felix smiles and answers, “i promised you i’d pay you back for helping me out with the coffee machine on my first day, didn’t i?”

all you can manage to do is smile and i’d be tearing up if i were you because, just by stepping into the breakroom and offering a hand, you met the brightest, sweetest, most loving man on the planet

little do you know, felix also can’t believe his luck in meeting someone as caring, reliable, and wonderful as you <333 

this is why, sitting in the breakroom where your friendship began, he pinky promises to stay by your side through coffee machine problems, stressful workdays, and whatever else life has in store for you :,-)))) 

oh i love felix so much i'm inconsolable my sweet baby angel </33

[bengiyo]

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days: BL is So Good When The Characterization Holds

I've been enamored with this show as each week builds on the actions and information we previously received. I am white knuckling through the end of this show, because we have caught up with the prologue just past the midpoint (@benkaben). I've been thinking a lot about this show, so I want to get some of my thoughts down before any unwelcome turns happen.

Qi Lu Feels Recognizably Gay

I've been thinking a lot about Qi Lu since we had the attempted first kiss with East Palace, West Palace (1996) playing in the background (@twig-tea). The fact that he has this film implies that he's known about himself for a while and has been looking for resources online to feed this part of himself. He pushed for that moment, and he recognized the attraction in Qin Xiao.

Later, he doesn't allow Qin Xiao to play coy about what's going on with them. He also doesn't fold in on himself and collapse because he faced a rejection. He's one of the rare characters who Knows himself that has the response that feels more real to me when they get rejected by a boy they know likes them: they get mad.

I loved that Qi Lu got defiant and demanding about Qin Xiao. He's totally wrong (@lurkingshan), but it was so correct for the position he's in. He's stifled by his dad, and beaten for showing any defiance. He's clearly lacking in other friendships. I completely get Qi Lu becoming possessive of Qin Xiao, and getting frustrated that Qin Xiao wouldn't return his feelings.

I'm also enamored with the way he seems to see past Qin Xiao's threats of violence. There's something so specific about a gay man who regularly suffers beatings from his father recognizing the false bravado behind Qin Xiao's own threats, and choosing to respond with gentleness to it every time. I'm still thinking about him kissing that man's fist in episode 8.

Like any young person caught up in their first romance, they're enjoying the honeymoon phase and promising things that will surely cause us immense pain. Still, Qi Lu is one of my favorite gay boys of the year, because he didn't get smaller when he faced rejection. He got bigger and stubborn. I love him.

Qin Xiao is a Great Romantic Lead

Zhang Xuan Yu is killing it as Qin Xiao. He is perfectly calibrated to be the kind of man any young gay would fall for.

He's a talented artist that has a strong moral center. He is willing to learn new ways to communicate to take care of the people that matter to him. He is caring for a sick grandparent. He's also so beautiful.

Even his rejection of Qi Lu is attractive. He's obviously drawn to Qi Lu, but this was not what he had in mind for his life. He's also leery of the big economic and social lines between them. He's got gangsters showing up at his place of work to threaten him.

But how can he stay away? As soon as he got a little bit jealous, he broke at the persistent kindness of Qi Lu. They let themselves feel what's happening between them and it looks so comfortable. I'm so ready for all of the drama to come, and I am crossing my fingers that we don't get a traumatizing ending to justify this getting past the censors.

Teacher Liu is a Mess and I Love Him

This man needs to get his shit together, but goddamn am I invested. He started helping a guy who reminded him of the brother whose death he feels responsible for, only to fall for that young man. Now his sensibilities as a teacher are clouding the issue for him, and he's lying to that boy. What a disaster of a man. I love him.

I was a teacher, and I have been in the position this man was in when he faced down Qi Lu's father. I've had to say the correct things to a parent to diffuse a situation where I was worried for my student's safety. I've also been in the position of having to tell gay kids between the lines to focus on their responsibilities over their relationship issues without saying anything that could be seen as me not meeting the responsibility of a teacher to report behavior. You have to maintain a level of plausible deniability that I find myself connecting to with Teacher Liu.

That being said, he's doing wrong by Tan Yin, and I'm glad Tan Yin is assertive about what's happening with them. I don't think this would work as a drama if the show didn't show us constantly that it knows Liu is a fuck up here.

We're Really In it Now

As we enter the final two weeks of this show, I remain cautious about how we'll finish. However, regardless of how this show ends, we've had eight incredibly strong episodes that show us that the people behind this know what story they're telling. If their ending feels contrived and doesn't make sense, I hope that it feels like something that was forced on them. In either case, I wanted to write about how strongly I've responded to the first eight episodes, because this is one of the most satisyfing experiences I've had as a viewer this year. I am amazed that we got this, Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo, and Love in the Big City all at the same time.

I clearly just need to hold out for fall every year.

[holywizardheart]

Astrology observations :)

Don't copyright my work

The pictures aren't mine

Please enjoy the reading

~Aries venus females can get along with men easily

~Capricorn moons are very responsible when it comes to their work and job.

~Mercury/Chiron negative aspects can dislike their voice and how they talk generally

I also can add 2nd house chiron there

~People who have Venus/Neptune hard aspects can attract liars and gaslighters in love life

~People with libra placements are flirty without effort, especially if it's in Mercury

~I don't know but people who have Mercury/Pluto esp. Negative aspects are damn too secretive even in little things

Also, they are the best manipulators and they can use something against you so be extremely careful with them because I experienced this shit

~People with Sun conjunct Mercury always want to be the center of attention in the company. Sometimes it really annoys me like please give me a chance to speak my mind. Also, I noticed that they can be very sure about their opinion and make you want to believe them.

~People with Uranus aspecting personal planets are not judgy and critical in my experience. I kinda feel appreciated around them.

~I met so many girls with Venus Saturn negative aspects and sometimes they can hate their appearance and think that they're ugly in some way.

~Leo venuses are very very needy as an Aquarius venus it's kinda tough for me to get along with them

~Women with Venus/Pluto aspects give a vibe of a jealous girl song by Lana del Rey

Also, they could be sexualized by men a lot

~Guys with Aries placements sometimes like to bully people for no fucking reason

~People with Virgo placements could be criticized when they were just a child

~People with Capricorn placements are always busy and have a lot of responsibilities in their life. I'm always surprised by their patience and consistency like damn if I were you I couldn't handle it.

~I don't know but in my opinion, Capricorn moon people often experience difficult childhood. When I ask them about the story it is usually very sad and depressing.

~Also about women with Venus/Pluto aspects especially negative ones can often experience jealousy of other women and vice versa

[pinchinschlimbah]

Flower imagery in Kyo's lyrics - a comprehensive list

mostly taken from the DEG Wiki translations, if there's anything important I've missed or could be translated better please let me know!

--- "Together with the flower of illusion Inside the flower of illusion" Masquerade - Genkaku no Hana (1995) ""Cross"　"You"　The roses that gave light crumble." La:Sadie's - Kakou to Genjitsu… (1996) "Our encounter turns to flowers Our encounter and ironic parting…" La:Sadie's - Kuroi Namida (1996)

"The bouquet of flowers is blooming... The heart is rotten, the middle of an ugly tragedy... Atonement is a flower" La:Sadie's - Zetsudan (1996) "At the end that stings with poison, the flowers wither and the body ... A transparent future, a false world ..." La:Sadie's - Objectxxx (1996) "The prettiest flowers will be the poisonous ones (Those eyes I loved so, became abusive ones)" La:Sadie's - Shoukei Hatan Sekai (1996) "The flowers we grew together back then Now bloom in profusion beautifully by your side" Dir en Grey - Kiri To Mayu (Missa version) (1997) "I sprout my seeds into your garden, But the red, wet bud shall not bloom." Dir en Grey - Kiri To Mayu (If...trans version) (1997) "Those days that seemed so lovely, the poisonous flower garden" Dir en Grey - Erode (1997) "Always standing still in that garden, looking lonely You were watching only the falling flowers" "GARDEN I wished that one day I could meet you Always GARDEN In this season that will pass, forever… You… The sad flowers that are going to wither have seen thousands of nights, Your figure reflected in sepia" Dir en Grey - Garden (1997) "Like a poisonous flower I will show you how I bloom And I'll become a flower that will bloom once again" "And as our love crumbles I bloom with the flowers in a riot of colors" Dir en Grey - Jealous (1998) "An unreality was born within a flower OUTSIDE HUMAN VOICE" Dir en Grey - Unknown…Despair…a Lost (1998) "The bouquet of love that you gave me was a bouquet shaped from poison" Dir en Grey - I'll (1998) "From the window, I can see the cherry blossoms blown by the wind as usual. They are falling slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, just like dancing." "I know my life will end here alone in this room. Flowers nobody can find… The flowers hurry to fall, shaken by the spring wind. The wind is also blowing into the white room of the hospital." "I'll become ash and return to the dust tomorrow. I see cherry blossoms from the window, I want to rest beneath the tree. I'm in your arms holding me with your love. I'm quietly taken from room 304. To never forget about you. I'll remember you shaking with the cherry blossoms when the wind blows." Dir en Grey - 304 Goushitsu, Hakushi No Sakura (1999) "Put together the days of pain in asphalt. "bury" If you pray by crossing yourself, the asphalt will be filled with poisonous flowers." Dir en Grey - Mask (1999) "I'm a dying flower, but I want to be in bloom just one more time, just like before." Dir en Grey - Akuro No Oka (1999) "The divine wind turns into wind And disappears into the dark Blooming in the night of our reunion The shape of the lilies The divine wind turns into wind Blooming in the night of our reunion The light of the fireflies and the lily flowers" Dir en Grey - Hotarubi (1999)

"Sucking the honey, you who loved the flowers Don't notice me as my beak comes at You blooming all over with foie gras and escargot" Dir en Grey - Macabre (2000) "Turn into a flower, turn into a butterfly and prick me with your poisonous thorns" Dir en Grey - Audrey (2000) "Getting hurt, hurting each other People hide their wounds But I will overcome mine　 And my wounds will turn into beautiful flowers" Dir en Grey - Taiyo No Ao (2000)

"In your room I put one of the flowers you used to love so, now…The light silently dyes the center of the city white The last seasonal color that you saw I shed tears　Reality is a cruel thing, isn't it?" Dir en Grey - Ain't Afraid to Die (2001)

"I am speechless as the sorrow sinks in The flowers die away I am alone" Dir en Grey - Embryo (2002)

"This is the garden of suicide. Are you having fun? Will my dreams come true at that garden?" Dir en Grey - Audience Killer Loop (2003)

"It's a garden with no pulse." Dir en Grey - Shukubeni (2003)

"Flowers bloom and flowers fall, but a flower is as it is a flower." Dir en Grey - Sajou No Uta (2003)

"In the room, on the red wall hang Rosalyn, and the scent from the petals of the flowers fills the room but you are not here." Dir en Grey - Red...[em] (2003)

"I reminisce under the late afternoon sky of the pressed flowers I miss so dearly." "One cold evening I saw her as she stood under the Cherry blossom tree, with petals that bloomed too early." "She couldn't do anything but cry as her tears bloomed like the petals." -Dir en Grey - Drain Away (2003) "The snake makes way through the sheets and goes inside the uterus. It can seem like a Yoshino cherry tree; a cherry blossom petal, that dances sadly." Dir en Grey - Obscure (2003) "And it blooms and blooms, the flower that bloomed The crazy bloomed blood makeup" Dir en Grey - Fukai (2003) "Again you reach out and ants gather around the lily under the sun" Dir en Grey - Saku (2004) "The ashes are like flower petals that rise up to the sky" Dir en Grey - Itoshisa Wa (2005)

"I hate the song game of counting petals" Dir en Grey - Garbage (2005) "Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it will only be known as flowers of vanity" "Let's bloom flowers of attempted suicide…………………." Dir en Grey - The Final (2005) "When the seasons come and winter sleeps, I will come visit with flowers" Dir en Grey - Higeki Wa (2005)

"Welcome to the garden of destruction" Dir en Grey - Clever Sleazoid (2007) "I carve into my heart the sins And I live on dying The sakura blossoms on my wrist" Dir en Grey - Red Soil (2008) "Spring blossoms and the petals fall, giving life to the river Swaying from side to side, where will you go?" Dir en Grey - Glass Skin (2008)

Dir en Grey - The Blossoming Beelzebub (2011) [no floral references in the lyrics but listing here for the title]

"A mistake won't change one's way of life Be proud and let the pure white lotus blossom" Dir en Grey - Lotus (2011)

"Feel it? The breeze in the field The water reaches the heart and it gives life But the bud that sprouts… is trampled on again" Dir en Grey - Diabolos (2011) "So, let us swear for ourselves tomorrow, go on No More No Goodbye, from the death of the blossoming flower" Dir en Grey - Akatsuki (2011) "The ant lion searching for the light The lost heart always looks to the future as the flowers of lycoris sway" Dir en Grey - Vanitas (2011) "Joining hands with the flower that's lost its' way Don't want to forget the vagrant past" Dir en Grey - Ruten No Tou (2011)

"Using legs as stems in this flower arrangement" "A moment of joy is like a single flower's life" Dir en Grey - Kiri To Mayu (Rinkaku single version) (2012)

"Those are the kiku flowers placed for the accident, that we're suppose to forget in a timely manner" Dir en Grey - Hydra -666- (2012) "Falling in love with a flower, you suck and suck on the sweet honey You don't even notice me Fangs out I bloom ablaze with love towards the escargot and foie gras that you are" Dir en Grey - Macabre (Unraveling version) (2013)

"You're gone The world without you The lily is not worth it" Dir en Grey - Soshaku (2014)

"Let the flag of our home country blossom" Dir en Grey - Midwife (2014)

"Counting the flower petals that burst out from this unstoppable way of life If it's going to break then … you understand right?" Dir en Grey - Magayasou (2014)

"You'll get used to it Are you used to it? The bouquet placed by the road laughs" "Prayers pile up If it scatters it means it's precious The bouquet no one tries to see taught me I stared at the future" Dir en Grey - Behind a Vacant Image (2014) "there is no evidence behind those righteous words the blood-hungry beast hides inside the wide-opened mouth for whom is this garden for?" "to the garden beyond reach where you sleep" Sukekiyo - Elisabeth Addict (2014) "let the fear take over and get out of control the garden blooms in the color of flesh come here, come here" Sukekiyo - Latour (2014) "it dances tranquility comes when i see the fluttering flower with you" Sukekiyo - Aftermath (2014) "i hate you more than anyone else hydrangea for whom will you get wet for?" Sukekiyo - Scars Like Velvet (2014) "To the garden of love If you want to be heard, let's see you start crying now" Sukekiyo - Foster Mother (2015) "Repeating the words like a favorite phrase Words bloom" Sukekiyo - Maniera (2015) "Having a guilty conscience is like a pretty garden at the end of happiness" Sukekiyo - Mimi Zozo (2017)

"Spring, let me go. Every time it blooms Even I am able to forgive by having at least one thing beautiful" Dir en Grey - Aka (2018)

Dir en Grey - Ranunculus (2018) [floral reference is the title, which is repeated throughout the song]

"The clown danced like crazy and made it bloom The flower was indeed very very beautiful" Dir en Grey - The World of Mercy (2019) "Welcome to the flower garden that's now turning into the bed for evil spirits of mountains and rivers Repeat the process, insert then pull" Sukekiyo - Guuzou Moratorium (2019)

"The reserved flower garden, D.T.C.T" Sukekiyo - Kou mo Chigau Mono Nano ka, Yousuru ni (2019) "The flowers seen thru the lens See the dream without hesitation Stripping as the world opens wide" Sukekiyo - Sesshoku (2020) "You say that everyone goes through it But I don't know enough about love to compare The scar will turn into a beautiful flower" Sukekiyo - Candis (2021)

"The heart grows the lotus The infinite expansion of heaven is righteous" Dir en Grey - Schadenfreude (2022) "If you look down the 13 flight of stairs, the flowers bloom I change To whose intention?" Dir en Grey - 13 (2022) "An empty room The flower garden blooms in the field Let's make the sound of love as I think of you" Sukekiyo - Scarlet (2022) "Even though it started With a small bud The more the wish overwhelmed, the more it made me feel empty Only the love　Yes, only the love Changes me And it makes the Margaret bloom The color fades and turns into tears The wish to lose my words Sings in the spring Swaying back and forth Making the petals scatter" Sukekiyo - Margaret (2023) "The withering flower, wanting to bloom beautifully like back in the day, just one more time" Dir en Grey - Akuro No Oka (19990120 version) (2024)

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Thinking about the First Temple and how the lesson Marcy was supposed to learn was about humility but she's never shown to be particularly arrogant before. In fact, I'd say she's the opposite - while trying to solve Andrias' puzzle with Anne and Sprig, she always listened to Anne and took her suggestions into account, even when they made no sense. She never thought "actually, maybe I should handle this" or even "I don't think that'll work - let me try something else". She let Anne take charge and followed her everywhere, and she was genuinely surprised to learn Anne could possibly feel jealous of her. Sure, she's very confident in her intellectual abilities, but I think her flaw, if any, is that she tends to lose track of the bigger picture. She dismisses Anne's suggestion in Wartwood to just let things flow with the townsfolk instead of "improving" their town without their imput, not because she thinks she knows better than the wartwoodians, but because she genuinely thinks they will like it and that, if they liked it, they would like her in return. And she WAS following the mayor's lead, whom she didn't know was a corrupt criminal.

Rather than "humility", I think the Temple's lesson would be about widening her perspective and not missing the forest for the threes. She's not arrogant, she just gets very passionate about some things and loses track of everything else. She didn't accidentally hurt Anne and the Plantars in the Temple because she was so hell-bent on proving she was intellectually superior to it that she neglected her companions' safety, but because she lost track of them. If anything, I think it could be a commentary on how self-centered she can be, a little bit of foreshadowing to the revelation that she brought her friends to Amphibia for selfish reasons, while making Anne steal her supposed birthday gift - which was meant to serve Marcy's purposes all along. That was the epitome of not thinking about others because she's too focused on her own goals.

But I don't think she had any malocious intent when she did that. I think she almost like... forgot to think about Anne (and Sasha). Ignoring other people's perspectives isn't a decision she makes, but an impulse she needs to learn to control, and I don't think the lesson of "humility" is all that fitting. Maybe I'm splitting hairs, because it's not like "humility" as a lesson doesn't work - it shows Marcy she needs to slow down and not assume she can handle every task so easily. I agree on the "slowing down" part but idk if the second part makes much sense? If anything, I think "empathy" would be a better lesson to learn, but then again, that doesn't sound much like something fitting for the "Wit" Temple, and maybe the Temple is meant as a one-size-fits-all and is not meant to offer any personalized lessons, rather it's supposed to filter out any possible incarnations of Wit that may have ill intent or plan to use the power of the gem(s) for selfish purposes. A humble incarnation of Wit would probably also be one that doesn't let their companions get hurt for power or arrogance.

But is that really the lesson the Temple teaches? Because what I actually have a gripe with is how the Temple actually just straight up cheats. How is that a lesson on humility? "You will be lied to and betrayed and no matter how smart you are, you won't be able to sort through that" sounds more grimdark than lesson-teaching. How is that even a lesson? Sounds like the Temple's lesson is "life isn't fair and you need to accept you're sometimes doomed to lose for reasons outside of your control" can be interesting but I don't see how that relates to "humility". To my understanding, humility has more to do with accepting you're subject to the same rules as everybody else and that you're not "above" everyone, that your goals are not above other people's wellbeing. Accepting there are things outside of your control can be humility. It's not about accepting there are forces outside of your control playing outside the rules that will fuck you up and you just have to take it because "oh, you're not above us, little girl". If anything, that sounds more like a lesson about not trusting people will play fair and being ready to tackle that. It would have been different if Marcy just lost the game "legally", but the Temple cheating muddled things up a little.

Tbh I think the only Temple lesson that made sense was the one for Heart. Anne learning reaponsability - yes, yes, very important. Marcy learning humility... eh... kind of? But not exactly. It's not contradictory to her character but that last Temple trial made no sense, and idk if "humility" was THE lesson she needed to learn, but I accept it as a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. Sasha tho?? What did she even NEED to learn determination for?? 😭😭 girl was already determined! Or ar least I think it was determination idk I can't remember. Another lesson that would have benefitted from being more about "empathy" or "responsability" or just generally anything about putting that strength to better use. If the Temples were trying to filter out people who would use the gems' power for evil, then how does "determination" help? What if my dude was determined to do evil? Like, I don't know, Sasha herself???? Stupid fucking Temple didn't help jack shit

[toxicroyjamie]

I need to hear your omegaverse HCs immediately!!

This is so embarrassing do NOT look at me

• So I'm thinking. Like. 70-80% of the general population are betas, 10-15% are alphas and 10-15% are omegas. Alphas are super overrepresented in professional sports, so the team is maybe 50/50 or 40/60 alphas:betas.

• Alphas include Rebecca, Roy, Isaac, Rupert, Zava, and most of Richmond's first team.

• Betas include Ted, Beard, Sam, Keeley (although I could also see her as a transdynamic alpha), Colin, Bumbercatch, and most of Richmond's second team.

• Jamie's either the first omega in the pl or one of the first, and Nate is the first omega to ever coach in the pl <3 I also think Trent would be an omega and take an interest in sports journalism because it's such a foreign environment to him.

• Jamie's dad is either an alpha or an insecure beta who is constantly overcompensating because he's not an alpha. But either way, he hates the idea of having an omega son and dips as soon as Jamie is born. Then later on when he finds out Jamie is actually a super talented badass who could make him rich down the line (because, shockingly, there's more to a person than their biology) he starts coming around again, because he figures Jamie might be worth something after all.

So James has Jamie on heavy-duty suppressants for years and years, which makes him build muscle and get rid of the ~omega look (sort of - he still has the hips, but there's not much you can do about that) and scent to the point that he can and does blend in with alphas and betas fairly well. He's extremely repressed and possibly closeted idk

• I think Roy kind of struggles with being an alpha in some ways, because even though he identifies with and is proud of the caretaking and protecting aspects of his identity, he worries a lot about whether he's like. Inherently too rough and Angry and dangerous to be around certain vulnerable people, especially Phoebe. Childrearing is not something alphas do a lot of, and he was never really taught anything about it, so he's constantly worried that he's going to do something horribly wrong or is ~infecting her with the worst parts of himself.~

• Also. Zava. This is the plot point I always imagine I'd write omegaverse for if I ever did. I normally think the whole Zava thing is boring but in A/B/O I could actually see it going somewhere interesting

Jamie as an omega is immediately put off by Zava, because he has like a built-in sixth sense for creepy alphas. But no one else detects it, because they're all alphas/betas, and they're just not as in-tune with that kind of thing. So Jamie tries to talk to the coaches about it, but they think he's just jealous because he's not the center of attention anymore and kind of brush him off.

Zava's constantly doing these little things that Jamie feels are obviously intended to make him feel like he doesn't deserve to be there or is less of an athlete than his teammates (petting his hair like a dog, stealing his goal, pretending he doesn't know who he is and thinks he's the kitman), but NO ONE else gets it and he just feels like he's losing his mind.

And then Zava calls Jamie over on the pitch to say something completely unimportant while rubbing his shoulders and smacking his ass, and Roy starts to pick up on the bad vibes because it was so obvious that Zava just wanted to prove to Jamie how much power he has over him in front of thousands of their fans, which makes Roy's skin crawl.

So that's how they start training together in this situation <3

Idk

[kwillow]

regarding romance involving your characters, im aware you've talked about how you likely wont engage in making content surrounding that topic (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FINE obviously), but do you mind if others do? i personally find a lot of enjoyment in those kinds of scenarios and itd be good to know if thats something you're fine with when it comes to your own creations. (im sure you get enough asks about romance already, apologies!!)

and related to this, are there any strict boundaries or hard lines youd prefer not to be crossed when it comes to fan content of them? even anything that just makes you uncomfortable; if youre alright with sharing, that is <:-} i would really like to know just to be certain

Hi there! This is a very kind and conscientious message; thank you for that. ^^

Short answer: sure, I don't mind if people want to make romantic-themed art or writing with my characters. It's flattering!

I don't really have much in the way of hard limits when it comes to depictions of my characters (not counting nsfw/kink art, where I'm also pretty permissive but want to be communicated with in advance), but here are some personal boundaries when it comes to how people treat me, the human:

My characters aren't able to be "claimed" by people for exclusive shipping purposes (either with other characters or for self-shipping). When people get jealous of either other people who want to ship themselves or their characters with mine, or jealous of the characters' in-story love interests, it creates a highly uncomfortable situation for me.

I'm happy for people to enjoy their romantic fantasies with my characters, but I am not included in that bargain. Liking my character does not mean one knows or is in any kind of relationship with me, platonic or otherwise (especially not otherwise).

Likewise, I probably won't reciprocate a lot of self-shipping or Your OCxMy OC type stuff. Of course I'll comment and appreciate the effort and the expression of being interested in my silly stories! But I won't necessarily make a lot of ship art in return or trade head-canons or what have you (again, I just am not super into shipping and I have my own story stuff I already don't have time to draw orz).

My characters aren't made to be boyfriend material. I also have not drawn/written/shown every part of their awful personalities or actions. In the future, I might reveal something about them that makes them unappealing or unsexy. People can ignore the unpleasant qualities I give my characters in their fantasies/fics, but I won't change how I write or draw the character to make them better suited to someone's tastes (yes this is something people have asked me to do).

I feel like stating some of these things makes me look a bit neurotic, like "oh come on, that's not going to happen," but unfortunately all of these things have happened to me before when people got, I guess, a liiiittle too romantically invested in my characters.

So really, I don't have many boundaries in the way of content. Go forth and write or draw or just imagine what pleases you (general you). Write them getting married, having unrequited crushes, being one of the last survivors of the Titanic and sacrificing themselves so that the other character can live her best life beyond their doomed romance, etcetera.

All I ask is that the appreciation is centered on the character as an imaginary being, and I, the real and very boring human woman, am largely ignored in the equation and not pulled in to do matchmaking, officiate any weddings, or act as a conduit to manifest a tulpa.

[aethesfaelibrarae]

(holy shit was I not expecting anyone to like that previous Mouthwashing post—but thank you, genuinely for reading it and this one)

The Mouthwashing brain worms speak to me again—let's talk about hierarchy and caste and the implications in Mouthwashing one more time.

Say what you will about Jimothy's cowardly ass: he's not an idiot. The apathy of the crew is, at least, in part maintained by the top of the ladder: Curly and Pony Express.

Curly starts the game at the top of the ladder, able to help out a guy he perceives in a rough spot with a snap of his fingers, able to control how much sugar anyone got.. Able to control the food, the medicine, the weapons. Curly isn't the sort of person to abuse his power.

But he also isn't the type to use it.

Next up is Jaundice. His second in command, his (traitorous backstabber) right hand man. We'll get back to him.

No, who come next in this hierarchy can be debated—is Daisuke for his youth and potential or is it Swansea for his seniority? It could be both, depending upon the lens of examination. When the chips are down.. Or when they're still able to make a bet?

I'm going with Swansea, simply because of the fact that both Curly and Catastrophic Jameson's headass respect him. Neither of them really correct or step in to ask about his behavior with Daisuke, Jaundiced is more than happy to leave the room alone until it stands in his way and up until the chase sequence is largely unwilling to get into physical altercation.

Daisuke is next on the rung—an intern getting his due hazing. Young, plucky, clumsy, the aimless silver spooned baby of the crew. He wants to be liked by people in the higher rungs and he trusts in their authority. To his own detriment. But for the most part, he's neither too high for the responsibility or too low to really suffer in forced silence. He's protected.

Anya is not. As the sole woman of the crew, soft-spoken, heavily pregnant and forced to entertain her abuser's delusions of grandeur with the wreckage evidence of how far he's willing to go to get rid of her, rinse his mouth of her, all around them.. She starts the game on the bottom of the ladder—ignored, talked over, dismissed. People's—Curly and Catastrophe Jim—eyes skip over her without thinking. It's easy to dismiss her. Empathy is extended to her as an afterthought. Her death an inevitable tragedy. Because either way of framing it, without access to the ax or the gun, the ship was Jimothy's way of shutting her up for good and she knows it. In my previous post, I touched on the difference between the situations that Anya and Curly find themselves and in all honesty, it's defined by who finds themself at the bottom of the rung when Mr. J finds himself a way to the top.

And who else would it be but our resident golden boy himself, Captain Enablement—I mean, Curly. Now that he's completely disabled, useless and helpless.. He finds himself in a position even worse than Anya's. Both of them taking on the brunt of Jimmy's worldview—he's gotten way more than he bargained for from Anya and besides, she was a means to an end. At the moment of the assault, she was an object, the lower rung of the perceived ladder. It wasn't his fault, just look at her—And afterwards.. Well, this whole thing could also be framed as spite. Sneaking behind the golden boy's back and "stealing his girl" or whatever, maybe he knew that he'd be caught and wanted to see something other than Curly's gentle understanding. He wants more. And in direct opposite to Anya, Curly is the center of his world. The spindle upon which Jaundice's last steadily fraying thread of sanity spins. And what an awful place it is to be. He gets front row seats to hindsight truly becoming 20/20 vision when it's a barrel of shotgun—and you're jealous of the fact that it's not aimed at you. He suffers being consumed and thus consuming himself. Looking into why didn't Jimothy just cut up any of the others is a fascinating exercise. By the time he starts eating Curly, this is not the first time he's imagined Curly in the place of food—of nourishment. He imagines him in the place of cake—even the way that he cuts a part of Curly's leg is reminiscent of the way that Curly cuts into the cake. (yes, what the heck Curls but then again, gelatin probably feels weird to cut). Eating someone is often a taboo form of intimacy in media like Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain or Tokyo Ghoul..Listen. There's a reason why vore is popular.—it's the most violent type of intimacy.

It's the only type of intimacy Jimmy engages with on screen and yet—There's an equally fascinating intimacy in consuming yourself. And even that is ruined.. Being forced to eat your bile-covered offal again and again and again.. A memory that would scar on its own. But. With the implications of this being the one type of intimacy that Jimmy feels comfortable sharing combined with what the game says about rape culture have "good" men protect and enable their friends.. There's another angle of their friendship there.

Jimmy loves Curly as much as he hates him. He wants him to suffer. He wants him to live. He wants him dead. Who is saying I hope this hurts?

The hierarchy traps them in so many ways—and the first time we see it for what it is is with Curly. Not Jimmy. From Curly's perspective, we see him unfocused and exhausted and Anya offers him a helping ear and he can't accept it. He's the Captain. He can't be seen asking his subordinate for help. Jimmy was removed from the hierarchy in Curly's eyes. Maybe even at the same spot. Co-captains. Two peas in a pod—except one is a festering open wound and the other has his eyes tightly closed, quietly muttering he can fix it if he just gets a little bit more time.. Can't tell the difference between who's who?

Top or bottom of the hierarchy—awful and isolating for two men who claim to take responsibility. Both have some level of inferiority complex—a complex that I'd argue is the becoming the bread and butter of modern day society but is steadily starting to show the signs of where it's been baked into the perceptions of being a man—there is the fear of someone bigger, better and more capable of you.. But there's also that small quiet part that gets told men don't cry that desperately, desperately, wants to have no choice. Almost takes comfort in the idea of someone better than you.

And everyone in between their rungs gets crushed as collateral.

In a caste made by white supremacy, white able-bodied young men who meet societal standards for being in their prime are at the top. Old enough to know better, young enough to play stupid have potential. Just look at all our promising young rapists men with their whole lives ahead of them.

On a ship like the Tulpar, that hierarchy gets a necessary edge—the Captain is the most useful person aboard the ship, the most needed. The man of the proverbial house. The co-captain is like being called vice president—made only as important as the person in that role can make it. Otherwise it's a hollow consolation prize. And Jimothy can't work an honest day in his life. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Then would be the nurse but.. It's a feminine job, a pink collar job through and through. If Anya had been a man, the jokes would have been targeted at her masculinity but as she is a woman, the role and her usefulness to the crew are invisible necessities. The quiet labor and genius that keeps great men going. I think people underestimate how much work goes into even passing the N-CLEX to become an RN. Anya was trying to get into medical school—she studied the human body extensively and in all honesty, the way that I've read it is (especially with the context clues of her being overlooked continuously) she just wasn't important enough to help out. Medical textbooks are expensive on their own and tests can be upwards of 2,000 dollars (my sources: my mom had to take the N-CLEX 3 times when I was much younger and the financial strain was ridiculous especially if you want to get in on a study group).. And Anya clearly worked for that goal. You don't throw that kind of money at anything else but the goal—the one you could just swear would make it all worth it. Maybe if she was Doctor Anya, the crew would've treated her better.. Her usefulness cemented and people would question how such a nervous woman made it through medical school.. Maybe it would have made Jimmy worse. There's nothing hollow about being a doctor after all.

But Anya is Anya and so Swansea, the mechanic is useful. He keeps the ship going and Daisuke in line. Bitter Knowledge and the Dog Days of Youth.

Wasted Potential (double entendre) and Boundless, Wasting Potential.

Immediately useful and eager to be useful.

Then there's Post-Crash Curly. And I must stress, your usefulness is not your value as a person. But then again, where would ableism find its footing save for such a sad hierarchy? And let's call a spade a spade, once Curly loses his ability to interact with the world as he once did, his skin literally peeled open to expose the soft inner flesh to the cruelty of the world, his small bit of usefulness as a Captain gone.. Most people on the ship act accordingly. Daisuke and Swansea, their places on the ladder's rung unchanged fairly quickly become enured to Curly's cries of pain. Anya, the closest to the his newfound rung.. Continues to care for him, unable to free him as he was unable to free her. Jimmy is all too happy to grind his boot in Curly's face as many times as he can. Until he feels better.

But he won't. He can't.

The game touches on the haves vs the have-nots a lot as well as the creeping sense of human work becoming obsolete, that body horror in being made useless by your own complicity but where it absolutely shines in Jimmy and Swansea—especially Swansea's final speech—is the messaging about the never-ending demand for more, for greener pastures leaving you hollow and bitter. Curly seemed well-aware of Swansea's thought process and leaves him be but internally agrees and fears that ending if he stays in the Captaincy for too much longer.

And that's where I think Jimmy really thinks it was a win-win for him and Curly. He truly doesn't think of the pain that Curly must find himself in, worsened by the constant beatings and continual medical assault. He doesn't think about it as anything more than Curly being a nuisance. One more way that Curly just didn't trust him not to fuck up his eyes eternally trapped in the cold hate and fear as he watches Jimmy proceed to ruin the one thing he took pride in as the metaphorical man of the house: keeping the crew safe.

Jimmy thinks of himself as the son who stayed faithful, worked himself to the bone, only to receive scraps while his undeserving brother is celebrated and lauded.

Within the hierarchy, the system is only as "good" as who remains on top. And "good" people, blindly faithful and eternally forgiving, aren't ruthless enough to stay up there for long.

Jimmy's not a good person but he's not stupid. And he's very ruthless. While there may have been somewhat of a hierarchical situation before he joined the crew, it's clear from his conversations with Anya, Curly valued a more lateral role system as he felt trapped in Pony Express's all-consuming ladder over Jimmy's rigid rungs of better and worse.

But over and over, he isolated the crew to their sectors. Over and over, he demeaned Anya, insulted her and Curly. Leaned into the insults of Daisuke. Left Swansea alone for the most part.

Anya, as much as it pains me to admit this, could have worked with Swansea earlier. But would that have worked? What about Daisuke—the younger version of Curly's eternal optimistic "I've never seen the dead pixel" attitude? The isolation absolutely worked. There's no imagining a world in which it doesn't work unless you imagine the crew as better than they are.

And that's just one more tragedy we can't rinse out of mouths with mouthwash.

[hanafubukki]

General Lilia YEES ! Thank you for this I loved it 😭 wild cat Lilia, him meeting and slowly open up to his future time traveler wife, poor Baul being like "Heck- What is happening here ?", Dawny already whipped for Y/n, Y/n being a badass girl but in a rough situation...

"You told me you will be in my future. You better keep that promise" My heart- If he kidnapped us on the spot I wouldn't say no, but he's a fine man so he didn't 😭

Bet the discussion with the Draconia couple will be fun- Meleanor being like "What took you so much time ? We even need to send people for your weak being" and Levan just go have a personal discussion after and ended up a simp.

Lilia: Levan. I need advise. There is the annoying girl-

Levan: A girl ? You like her ?

Lilia: Yea- No- Not the topic ! So. She told me I will be part of her future.

Levan: Oh ! She sure know what she wants. Meleanor told me something similar when she asked my hand.

Lilia: Listen ! But, when I asked her to go with me. She said no. I know, we are really different, and she must have friend and family she cannot leave. But the people around her clearly don't see her worth ! Well. No. There is this guy. Who see too much of her worth if you want my thought.

Levan:....Okay. Start with the beginning. My ears are entierely open for this matter. I want to know everything.

- 🦋 Anon

(Fanfic References: Part 1, Specifically referring to: Part 2 )

[Ask References: Ask 1, Ask 2, Ask 3, Ask 4, Ask 5, Ask 6, Ask7,]

Hello 🦋 Anonie,

I'm so happy you loved it! 💚💕🥰 I can't explain to you just how much this fic just took hold of me and kept going and going, and the different routes kept changing too. I really love how it turned out 🥰

I especially loved incorporating little things YN learned along in her adventures, such as lock picking and self defense. Dawny caring for YN was planned from the get go, but Baul appearing later on came about later. Which I love because I like to mess with him too.

"You said you would be in my future." and "You better keep that promise." lines is what drove this fic. It's what I knew I wanted to add and have it center around with YN and Lilia. Another fun fact: "I will be" and "I will." are purposely written that way, but Lilia doesn't realize exactly what that means yet and ahhhh, I just adore the little intricacies.

Meleanor being the older sibling she is and just making fun of him is hilarious. She knew he would be fine and would come back eventually. He is too stubborn to die. Lilia is trying his best not to smack talk back, he still has wounds that are almost healed after all.

I love how Levan is in the fan club. He's the one out here supporting his OTP and wants to know the whole tea, especially seeing how Lilia is obviously infatuated with this girl.

Levan was already interested in YN because of the fact that Lilia was interested in her and she 'proposed' to him like his wife did. But what really got his interest was the fact that Lilia sounded jealous.

Lilia, the wild cat, this overly arrogant fellow General. He's jealous and he's jealous of another human nonetheless. Oh, how interesting this all is.

(I can imagine Levan internally laughing his head off when he realizes the competitor for YN is the Knight of Dawn. Also, I can see Levan now think of ways this Human Vs Fae war can be stopped, so Lilia can pursue his love life 🥹😂)

[sparklingdemon]

so! (claps) time for more hacker cody lore bc i just can't shut up today <3

so hacker cody was a p big pokemon creepypasta fan at one point. they literally wore a shirt with the pokemon tower ghost that says "game over" on it. they clearly took a lot of inspiration from pokepastas when designing their hack. the secret hidden escape rope easter egg is a direct reference to the "axe candle rope" pokepasta. leaf being glitchy when played as was a subtle nod to fallen leaf (bc hacker cody's then-friend at the time was working on fallen leaf's hack alongside cody's hack)

but at the same time, they also wanted to subvert the tropes that were a part of pokepastas.

"missingno?" nah, that thing is in every kanto creepypasta. get rid of it. it's not relevant to this story. "dead raticate?" nah, i can create drama between blue and the player without it. "self aware protagonist?" nah, the protagonist is the ONLY one that isn't a person anymore. everyone else is. "classic red vs modern red?" nah they're the same character. "red vs leaf?" nah they're the same character. "blood and gore?" nah that's way too edgy and tacky for what i'm doing. when MY protagonist dies, they're going to just drop dead with no visible cause. "suicide?" yes, but through implication only. blue disappears from the game and you're meant to assume the worst, but you never SEE it. the escape rope teleports the player to the tower but you don't SEE the player character hang themself. you're meant to let the implications speak for themselves.

it's got a "i'm not like other pokepastas" vibe to it, while never OPENLY throwing shade at the other stories that use those tropes.

and this all culminates with blue, who the hack's story (arguably) centers around. i initially wrote monochrome!blue for a separate scrapped project before placing him into monochrome instead. i initially intended to write him as a subversion of the popular idea of what a "creepypasta blue" is, and i feel like that's probably the in-universe reason for why hacker cody characterized him that way, too. they wanted something that felt "faithful" to the spirit of blue's character. he isn't trying to kill red/leaf out of revenge towards them personally, he's trying to kill them to drive the player away - and if he's SUCCESSFUL in doing that, then the player will turn the game off, therefore bringing red/leaf back to life when the game reverts to its previous save file. monochrome blue had No Intention of permanently killing off red/leaf, because all he wanted was to free them from the player's influence so that they would (hopefully) be themselves again. be equals again. be FRIENDS again. but blue had to come to the tragic conclusion that there was never a red/leaf to begin with. just cody. (or so he was programmed to think. he never realized red/leaf WERE actually still their own people.) even blue's relationship with prof oak has been subverted in this hack. i feel like blue-centric creepypastas like to adapt oak to be more of an asshole to blue - (for example, saying he doesn't love his pokemon enough sounds cruel and tone-deaf if his raticate died), to justify why blue is so jealous of red and desperate for oak's praise. but monochrome instead shows that (true to the spirit of the vanilla games) prof oak did indeed love blue, but that was not enough to save his life. in the vanilla games, oak is disappointed in blue for losing because of blue's own shortcomings as a person, but monochrome!oak instead finally recognizes that blue was Never Meant To Win Against The Player and tells him it was never his fault for losing against them. but blue couldn't forgive oak for continuing to let the player into the world of pokemon, giving them a second, third, fourth, fifth, tenth, hundredth chance to change for the better, but instead they continued to hurt him and red/leaf. blue viewed oak as complacent with that.

ngl it makes me kind of sad that monochrome!blue is such a Major Background Character (and also dead) bc he's got a lot of interesting depth to him that i'm not gonna get to explore in the same way that i would've been able to with the old project he was from. but it's ok bc i can ramble abt him here and hopefully u guys can appreciate him too kfdhgjgdks……

but that's also why it's so interesting seeing trainer cody interact w tears!blue now because we get to explore what cody thinks of blue personally. cody is an analytical asshole who's completely apathetic to his suffering. to them, blue was just a character in a story created by an indifferent playwright. so it'll be So Fun to have cody talk to tears about their blue like he was "just a character" when there is in fact a Real Sentient Blue Standing Right There who is Very Pissy about being considered "lesser" to red. (also think it's incredibly funny that trainer cody Literally Canonically Knows About Blue Tears thru the hacker's knowledge of pokepastas, but does not realize that they're talking to a blue tears!blue so they're just talking shit like he's just a regular blue. hope they get a rude awakening lmao)

[missingpolinseason]

Penelope Featherington deserves to be public adored and worshiped. She spent a lifetime being invisible and voiceless - wich is the reason for Whistledon and the face place.

She wrote it for herself, because she had no one to talk about, no one that would hear it - we have to remember that Eloise debuted a year after her, for context. Being a wallflower is also the reason Pen can be Whistledown. She is underrated and not seen.

There's this beautful moment in the books where Colin makes a speach to the whole ton informing how witt she is. In fact, he says:

"I wasn't surprised that I had fallen in love with her, but rather that it had taken so long. I've known her for so many years, you see, and somehow I'd never taken the time to look inside, to see the beautful, briliant, witty woman she'd become. Therefore, with all of you here as my witnesses, I would like to say - Penelope - I love you. I adore you. I worship the ground you walk upon".

And procides to make everybody in the ton do a toast for his wife.

Penelope get's really surprised. She's not expecting it. She actually could feel the tears trickling down her face, but she couldn't move. She could barelly breath. She had expected him to reveal her secret, and instead he was giving her this incredible gift, this spectacular declaration of love.

Then Colin indeed reveal the secret:

"I have one last thing to say. One last little thing, in case you still don't believe me when I tell you that my wife is the wittiest, cleverest, most enchanting woman in all London. You might say my wife has two maiden names. Of course you all know her as Penelope Featherington, as I did. But what you didn't know, and what even I was not clever enough to figure out until she told me herself is that she is also the brilliant, the witt, the breattakingly magnificent - Oh, you all know who I am talking about. I give you my wife! Lady Whistledown!"

People seem to forget, but Penelope IS a powerful woman in both the show and the books. Having Colin be the one to tell she's Whistledown doesn't erase it. And It is so so important for her as a character. For this romantic woman who's been in love with this man for about half of her life, who wasn't take seriously, who wasn't seen, to have him public declaring his love... Is a moment when Colin decides to choose her, all of her, no matter the consequences.

The Whistledown reveal is one of the most iconic scenes in the book serie. It is romantic. It closes Colin character arc as he is jealous and worried and separates Pen from Whistledown is him mind as if they were 2 different women. But in this moment he embrances Whistledown while also loving and acepting ALL of Penelope shameless. While also brings this Pen to center stage and makes her seen.

The show version of this scene, from my point of view, not only removes Colin from the Whistledown plot somehow as it denies Penelope of being revered in front of a society that underrated, underapreciated, didn't see nor heard her. It denies Penelope to watch Cressida scream in the audience while being public unmasked from pretending to be Whistledown while they also don't acept her blackmail. Instead of it, Cressida, her bully, recives yet another opportunity to speak and justify herself. At the end, the scene is not remembered by the reveal nor the love declaration, but by the quote "now, Varley, the bugs!"

I'm sorry. But I don't see this scene change/adaptation as an empowerment for Pen. I see this as a decion made by a writer who doesn't understand Penelope - in the sence of being a wallflower. Someone who's not familiar with the sentiment of beying underrated, unseen or unheard an therefore judge being reverenced and supported in such a puclic way unimportant for Penelope.

I believe it is.

[polyamorousmood]

Hi there, I want to thank you first for running such a helpful page!

So I'm actually just starting to explore polyamory. My girlfriend has been poly since I met her over a dating site, but I'll admit when we first started dating my insecurities made me not want to hear much about her other partners.

But over time, I started realizing not only that I may want to date more people but that I was missing out on a part of my girlfriend by avoiding something that is a feature of her person. And luckily we did have a good talk about it! We are gonna have a tabletop game night soon for me to hang with some of her partners, and maybe I'll be lucky and they find something to like in me too.

But honestly, it still gives me some anxiety to see her talk about her time with other people. I hate feeling jealous like that after wanting to work on it! I just really love her and don't want my insecurities to make us break up. Do you have any good advice for how I can help reassure and center myself?

I just want this girl to be happy and I'd like to be able to continue to be someone who makes her happy

Well, then I'll start by saying you're welcome! I'm so pleased you get something nice out of this blog 🥰

I have talked several times about how to handle jealousy I was going to post links, but honestly, it'd be like 6 links at this point. Search for "#jealousy" on this blog and you can find them. Please read those, they contain good thoughts.

I am struggling to find the words to explain just how touching I find it that you're opening up to this side of your partner. Its the sweetest, most beautiful of revelations. As a poly person I feel what you said is very true, and I would be really touched you're wanting to open that up.

I would therefore also be very concerned with making sure it went well, and be willing to do a lot to help you out. So I think it'd be a good idea for you to make dedicated time to thoroughly talk over your concerns with your partner before, and talk about how you felt about everything after. I find it useful to mention anything, even if you dealt with it and it ended up okay. Its totally fair and in fact probably helpful to your partner to say "it was a little weird at first when you gave X a hug, but I realized that was stupid and I think I'm okay now."

I think for someone in your position, who is working on expanding what you're comfortable with -- and as something not mentioned in the other posts I've made -- its going to be important to find the sweet spot for growth. That is, generally exposing yourself to situations that are uncomfortable, but that you're able to accept/work through/handle. Factors for this could include (but are not limited to):

length of exposure

topics/types of discussion (sex, similarities/differences between you and other partners, attractiveness, (dis)enjoyment of activities with other partners, etc)

type of activity

what sort of affection is shared with whom

the degree of "publicness"

Think it through, and start out with some things you know you can handle. Again, if you want to make progress, you should be seeking something that is a bit uncomfortable, but not so much discomfort you can't get over it in a timely manner. (As an example, my cutoff would probably be something like "I'm still bothered by the end of the next day, and after talking to my partner about it," but its okay if yours is somewhere else.)

Also worth noting you don't have to have a "total success" to be successful here. There may be certain things you're never fully comfortable with seeing/hearing about. Since it sounds like everyone else is okay with you not being comfortable with any knowledge, I'd be surprised if it'd be a problem for you to maintain a few boundaries about it, even after you've put in a lot of work to being more open.👍

Since you mentioned already that you're uncomfortable with her sharing things she'd done with others, I'd like to offer three points to that specifically.

Congrats fr fr on that self-awareness! 🧠Legit you should be proud

You can start small here too. If you're not ready to know full details about something, but want to try something, maybe just ask her to give you a one-sentence summary when you ask how it went so you can practice!

I want to offer you a reframing here. I think you're likely feeling insecure when she mentions fun with her other partners because your thought is something sorta like "she has so much fun with them, she can't even stop thinking about it when she's with me... she must like that more..." . . . But what if... instead... you worked on replacing that thought with something like "she loves me so much, she wants to share even her special experiences from her other partners with me"? Does that feel more wholesome? and do you think that paints your partner in a kinder light, too?

I wish you the very best of luck, but quite frankly, I don't think you need it. I think you've done very well so far, and will continue to do so under your own power. And I do hope you feel powerful for tackling this.

And as always, I LIVE for updates. I'm proud of you!! 💙💖🖤🥰