#I'm actually so happy everyone likes the fic but like I might rewrite the first few chapters LMFAO

[leathermouthproxies]

wait I'm rereading till the ground holds me in its arms bc I want to make sure I'm staying consistent and tell me why the first chapter literally starts like my immortal.

[h4ndwr1tten]

HI omg this has been eating away at me,, could i request an angsty (but with a happy ending) fic where the reader has been in love with kento ever since they were classmates at juju high and she always flirts with him but he rejects her every time up until the present day at shibuya where she saves his life by using a technique that gives him her life force and allows him to regenerate ig or take the blow of the hit and that leaves her on the brink kf death and kento realizes how much he's actually been in love with her the whole time and somehow she survives and he literally g r o v e l s and confesses and UGH this is too long i'm sorry but feel free to change some details to your convenience, TYSMM 🫶🫶🫶

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

characters — nanami kento x reader

note — i'm genuinely sorry i dont post requests on time :( anyways i didn't know how to end it so if i have time to i might rewrite it? i'm just trying to get this out bc i feel bad for leaving anon hanging.. (CORNY AHH TITLE)

cw — anxiousness, unrequited love (or so it seems) in the first half, violence kinda?, reader gets hurt and ends up in the hospital, kissing on the hand, confession ish, shitty ending might rewrite, not proofread. lmk if i missed any.

synopsis — you've gone through years and years confessing your feelings to kento, but this mission might be the scariest thing you've gone through. even for kento.

goosebumps covered your skin as worry churns in your stomach. on every other mission, you had felt worry and fear regarding the mission, but it was a normal thing that almost every other sorcerer experienced. those feelings, however, weren't the nagging, unrelenting ones you were feeling right now.

no, this was a gut feeling. of what, you couldn't decide. you knew it was a gut feeling because of the way it couldn't be diminished through encouragement and reassurance, and the way it came crawling back to you every time you were able to get your mind off of it. despite knowing you weren't going to be alone in this mission, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable and fearful for not just yourself, but everyone involved as well.

especially kento.

kento was going on this mission, alongside a few other sorcerers, and the thought of going into this with you provided some solace for your troubles. you felt safe with him, you always have.

ever since your high school days as a student at jujutsu high, you've always been drawn to kento. he was one first friends there, and despite not being exactly best friends, you always cherished his company.

that is until a year later, you began seeing him in a different light, one that was more romantic than platonic. you started noticing the little details that made kento, kento. how he liked to keep his blond hair swept to his right. how he would subconsciously hum to himself when he was focused on something. how he always made room for something sweet after dinner. you began to crave his presence more than you usually did. you started seeking him out in classes and in crowds. you tried your best to impress him, whether it be working hard in class, giving your all during practice, or fighting hard on a mission. you even began flirting with him, starting off subtle before becoming more obvious. you did everything you could think of just so he could see you the way you saw him.

you remember the first time he rejected you. you remember how at first, you were in denial because you really thought you had a chance. you cried to shoko about it, and somehow satoru and suguru as well (they were eavesdropping and jumped into the conversation). then you cried more by yourself, eventually falling into a deep slumber after exhausting yourself.

~~~

"hi ken!" you greeted your friend, a little more eager than usual.

you were up last night, convincing yourself that it was time to confess your feelings and that he would feel the same, or at least give you a chance. you had been keeping your feelings to yourself for a little over a month now, and you felt like you couldn't wait any longer.

now here you were, standing in front of the teen you had a massive crush on, who was sitting on a bench under a tree, with a book in his hand and his favorite sandwich lying on the space next to him.

kento sent you a small smile in acknowledgement, before slightly scooting to the side as if to make room for you.

you blushed at the gesture then took a seat on the bench, watching kento as he flipped a page in his book.

"what're you reading?" you ask. to be honest, you weren't really interested in his book. you just wanted to start a conversation before confessing your feelings for him.

"a biography," he answered briefly.

"about who?"

"some warrior."

then, setting the book down, kento turned to you with a curious look on his face. "did you need something, y/n?"

his amber eyes found yours and a sudden wave of nerves came over you. where had your determination and confidence gone? your heart probably grabbed them both and chucked it out of your body and across the nation. then its beating increased, as if taunting you for being so confident.

"um," you started slowly, breaking the eye contact and looking down at your lap. "i... you..."

"take your time," kento hummed. was it obvious how anxious you became, or was he just that good at reading people?

you began fidgeting with the hem of your skirt while trying to find the right words. a simple 'i like you' wouldn't suffice, because what you felt seemed stronger than just a 'like'. this was so much easier in your head. with a deep breath to prepare you and shifting your gaze back to him, you finally spoke.

"nanamikentoihavefeelingsforyou."

"huh?"

"i have... feelings for you," you spoke more slowly this time.

his brow quirked up, and as he opened his mouth to respond, you cut him off.

"i like you."

so much for not saying 'i like you'.

"oh."

oh? what oh? was that a good oh or a bad oh? you thought to yourself. kento grew silent and looked down at the grass, and his silence worsened your nerves. you were squeezing the end bit of your skirt now, while your mind was playing every other scenario you could have been in right now.

"kento?" his name leaving your mouth in a barely there whisper.

he turned back to you with pink cheeks and ears. you would've thought he was flattered if it wasn't for what he said next.

"i'm sorry, y/n. if you mean romantic feelings, and you like me in that sense, i don't feel the same way."

the whole world stopped. the distant chatter and bird calls faded into silence. the rise and fall of your chest paused as you felt yourself stop breathing. your cramped fingers finally stilled a against your skirt. your head kept replaying those words again and again, and your shattered heart dropped to your stomach, bringing a sick feeling with it.

"oh," you whispered. "i see."

you couldn't bare to be in this area anymore, or anywhere near kento. you were so sure that he'd at least want to see where things go with you. had you become so delusional and forgotten to think that being rejected was the other half of all possible outcomes?

a gentle hand then laid on your shoulder, while a face came into your peripherals. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, knowing it would only bring you more shame.

"but we can still remain friends. it won't be awkward, to me at least," kento suggested politely and, what he might've thought, comfortingly.

but it only worsened your humiliation. he just had to use that term, that wretched word. as if his rejection wasn't enough, he really thought it was a good idea to say the damned f-word after confessing he didn't feel the same.

you knew kento only had good intentions in mind when he said it, and you understood that he never meant to hurt you with his words. but that simple sentence made it clear to you that that was all he saw you as.

a friend.

you could feel your throat closing up, your nose burning, and your eyes beginning to prick. kento already felt bad, it was clear, and you didn't want to make him feel worse. so you decided that it was time to leave, and maybe never leave your bed again.

"okay, well," you sniffed, wiping a stray tear and standing up, "thank you for being honest and telling me how you feel."

upon seeing your crestfallen face, kento frowned. "y/n, i'm sorry—"

"no, don't apologize. i understand," you smiled sadly.

after mumbling a broken and half-hearted 'have a wonderful evening', you left the bench under the tree and cried the rest of the day.

~~~

despite being rejected and so, so hurt, you quickly came to realize that your feelings weren't fading any time soon. they continued to linger, like someone who couldn't take a hint and conversing with another who just wanted to get through the day. you yourself got the hint, the message—kento didn't reciprocate your feelings. but your heart didn't quite get the memo, as it refused to let go of the man.

over time, your feelings grew stronger and so did the urge to confess once again. so you confessed, and once again, you were rejected. this time, however, you cried a little less. moved on a little quicker. and you tried again.

this grew into a cycle, an unhealthy one, for the rest of your high school years. it was predictable and pathetic, but with feelings for kento as strong as yours? you were determined to get him to see you as more than just his good friend, hell, to even go out on at least one date.

and now, present times, nothing had changed. you were still in love with nanami kento and he... well, he was still not in love. you were still confessing and he was still rejecting. you might've seemed desperate, but your feelings never went away and kento never ended his friendship with you, so it had to mean something. right?

right now, however, your feelings were the least of your worries. your brows were furrowed, your bottom lip was tucked in between your teeth, and you were wringing your wrists over and over. despite going on this mission with the man you trusted above all, you felt that things wouldn't turn out the way they should.

"are you alright, y/n?" kento quietly asked you, having noticed your silence and body language.

"hm? oh, yeah. i'm just," you paused, then whispered, "scared."

you felt kento's hand gently lay on your shoulder, feeling his eyes on your own as he spoke, "it's going to be okay. i'll be there with you the entire time, and i will do my best to keep you safe and unharmed."

smiling up at him, you nodded and thanked him. he nodded once back, then led you two out the door and onto the mission.

you could barely function at this point. your vision was clouded with dark fuzzy spots, you could barely move your sore and numb limbs, your ears were ringing as though an alarm were blaring in them. your head was throbbing as blood trickled down your face from the gash above your brow, and your heart was racing faster than it ever had before.

the mission had gone horribly wrong; the curse was far more dangerous and powerful than expected. it could birth weaker clones that were still enough to cause damage, and the only way to stop the multiplication was to eliminate the main curse.

which had set its dark, blood lusted eyes on you for the past half hour. and in that time, you felt your life flashing before your eyes. you didn't know where kento had gone—the last you saw of him was taking on an army of the multiples.

your delayed movements weren't helping much. all your energy had been depleted whilst trying to fight survive the curse, making it almost impossible to use your cursed technique. if you thought fighting was exhausting, then trying to stay conscious felt much worse.

as you tried (and failed) to focus on executing technique, the curse came out of nowhere and violently hurled you into a nearby destroyed building. you broke through the remains of a wall, the only thing breaking your fall being a mound of ash and dust. chunks of the wall surrounded you, while a larger portion lay on the rest of your body below your shoulders. .

"y/n!"

despite the ringing and your heart thrumming in your ears, you could hear his distant yell for you. he must have finally gotten rid of the multiples when the main was focused on you, or held them off long enough to find you. whatever he did, though, you couldn't focus on right now. all you could really think of was the excruciating pain and fear you were experiencing.

the impact from you hitting the wall had knocked the wind out of you and the wall fragment on your chest made things even worse. your lungs felt tight on the inside, while they were being crushed on the outside. you could barely get in any air, the most you could take in being a mere gasp. you were beginning to panic now. were you going to die? is this how you were going out, because you were unable to defeat a curse? where was kento?

you didn't realize it but tears had begun to fall from your eyes. a reaction caused by the emotions and physical pain you were overwhelmed with. you were scared, so fucking terrified to meet your inevitable end.

what you also didn't know was that kento was fighting his ass off trying to murder the curse. it felt a bit easier because of all the anger he was feeling towards the creature for absolutely wrecking you. all rationality left his body the moment he saw you be carelessly thrown like a rag doll, and now he found himself brutally attacking the curse with no remorse. even satoru was shocked at his behavior, as he thought this curse would need more than one person to defeat it.

it took a few minutes longer, but kento had defeated the curse. he had sliced up the lower body and saved the stupid, ugly head for last, cutting it in half through the eyes and another half through the side. and in exactly 5 seconds, the curse had let out a final whine before it's dismembered body and quartered head disintegrated into pools of foul-smelling acid, but kento could care less about it.

he sprinted to where you were laying, not caring that satoru was calling after him, not caring that civilians were hurt or scared. you were the only thing on his mind and his body burned with the sickening fear that you were—

no, he couldn't bare to think of it. you were strong, persistent, determined. you didn't give up that easily, he would know. kento knew you would put up a fight, and a good one at that, before you'd let death win over and welcome you. but the question was, how long did until that fight was over?

luckily enough, kento could see your dust-covered body underneath the rubble. your skin was losing its color quickly and he could see you trembling, hear you crying fearfully and painfully calling for help. he rushed to your side, immediately but gently lifting the broken debris off your frail body.

"k-kento," you wheezed, tears pouring out of your eyes and leaving trails through the dust. "i can't—i can't b-breathe, it.. hurts."

kento's hands were shaking violently, panic settling in and his mind wondering darker thoughts. with one hand, he gently cupped your face and looked into your glossy eyes.

"it's okay, y/n. everything will be okay, i'm going to get you out of here, and we'll get you help, i promise. just stay calm for me, okay?"

his reassurance was enough to quell the some of the anxiety gnawing at your insides. despite trembling badly, kento hastily continued to uncover your body from the wall. the larger piece took more effort, and though his hands were burning an angry red, kento continued to lift and push, then threw it somewhere away from you.

kento felt sick at the sight of your battered frame. your natural skin color was barely visible as bruises covered almost the entirety of your body. cuts and gashes so deep they would scar marked your torso, and blood was seeping out through them. he was a strong man who'd seen enough gore to make even the coldest people faint, but seeing you in this condition made his eyes sting and burn.

"kento," you sobbed, the pain becoming too much to bear.

not wasting anymore time, kento gently scooped you into his arms, but despite his best efforts, the winces and cries you let out let him know that even the slightest touch hurt like hell. he began to speed walk to satoru, yelling out for the man while trying not to bounce you too much.

his heart was racing faster than it ever had before. a kind of fear he had never felt was consuming him, tightening around his entire body and squeezing his lungs. he could barely breathe, barely think properly.

meanwhile, you could slowly feel yourself begin to drift out of consciousness. was this death opening its gates to you? welcoming you in the worst way possible, having the life leave your body in the arms of the man you were in love with? everything began to feel numb. you weren't crying anymore. you were feeling a little sleepy.

"y/n, don't you dare close your eyes!"

kento's loud and firm voice abruptly knocked some consciousness into you, keeping you awake for a little longer. he gave you a gentle squeeze on your arm, a whine escaping you at the ache.

"i'm so sorry, i don't want to hurt you. we're going to get you help, alright? satoru!"

you couldn't process what happened after that, as the ringing in your ears returned. your vision became fuzzy, but the last thing you remember was a mess of snowy hair, teary hazel eyes, and the world around you spinning.

you fell asleep.

the sound of steady beeps sounded throughout the area you were in. consciousness slowly making its way back into your body.

you were tired, so exhausted. you just wanted to sleep for a month, but as memories began to flood your mind, the desire to sleep seemed harder to achieve.

the last thing you recall happening was kento pulling you out of the remains of a building, carrying you bridal style away from where you had laid, and satoru placing a hand on both you and kento. anything after that, you had no recollection of.

the incessant beep coming from your left prompted you to open your eyes. you squinted right away, your pupils slowly adjusting to the change of brightness. above you were fluorescent lights and around you were clean, white walls. the room had little to no decoration or color and it felt sterile. physical feeling had come back to you, and you felt your body wrapped in thin sheets, laid on a firm mattress. tubes ran up and down your arms and you could feel them underneath the gown you found yourself in.

you hadn't taken too long to figure out that you were in a hospital room. what you didn't realize right away was the blond man sitting next to your bed, his head buried in one arm and the other holding your hand. he wasn't in his usual blue dress shirt and slacks. instead, he was in a plain black tee and sweats. you figured he must have changed during the time you were unconscious, which you still had yet to find out.

your mind was running slower than ever today, because it had just clicked that nanami kento was holding your hand. he was the last person you saw when you passed out and the first person you see when you awoke. had kento been here by your side the entire time?

wanting to see more of him, you shifted your weight onto your elbows, trying to prop yourself up and painfully failing. sharp stabbing-like sensation ran through your right shoulder, a burning one across your left arm, and your back felt stiff and extremely sore.

a loud wince involuntarily escaped your lips, tears rushing to your eyes at the overwhelming aches. immediately, kento woke and snapped his head, looking confused for a second, then realizing what was happening next.

"heyheyhey, y/n, don't move too much. you're still recovering, so just lie down, alright?"

he had stood from his seat and helped slowly lower your body back into the bed. he held you so firmly yet so gently as if not to hurt you or you'd break. he then pulled the thin sheets over your lap to keep you warm, then adjusted the bed so that you were slightly sitting up with support.

then, carefully cupping your face, he wiped a stray tear with his thumb, then lightly stroked across your cheek. his eyes were so full of concern as he scanned your entire face, as if making sure you were really here. the emotion radiating off of him and the way he held you with such delicacy made you feel so safe and cared for.

"how are you feeling?" kento whispered, brows slightly furrowed.

"it hurts," you whispered in response. a frown crossed kento's face and he genuinely looked so broken to know you were in great pain.

"i'm so, so sorry, y/n," kento apologized, breaking eye contact and bowing his head, almost shamefully. "i should have been there, by your side. i should've just let gojo take care of the clones, hell, the actual curse itself. i should have been there—"

"kento," you cut him off. you couldn't handle hearing him blame himself for your near-death experience. he couldn't have saved you while defending himself, and if there was a choice to be made, you would've rather he lived.

"please... don't think this was your fault," you requested, voice raspy from not talking and the incident. "it was not your fault the curse decided to come after me. it was not your fault i wasn't strong enough to fight it alone—"

"but that's the thing, y/n," kento argued. "you couldn't have taken that thing on alone. i should have been there to aid you and help take it down."

in an attempt to lighten the mood, you exhaled a laugh through your nose and joked, "what, you don't think i'm strong enough to fight a special-grade?"

kento gave you a pointed look, unamused at your quip. you smiled apologetically back before looking away from him, any trace of humor leaving your face.

"it's not that i don't think you're strong enough," he sighed. "i feel like i let you down."

"i should have stayed by your side. i shouldn't have let us get separated, i should have followed you, but i didn't. and now, look where we are."

he gestures to your frail figure, gently holding your arm and avoiding your eyes out of shame. boldly, you reached for his hand held it in both of yours, the action bringing his eyes to your own.

"kento, this wasn't your fault. i mean it. don't say anything of it again, or i'll purposely get your orders wrong when i'm bringing lunch. you were trying to save yourself, as was i. maybe i could have used some help, but that only means i need to improve my technique and combat. which also means, you could help me with that. maybe i could have died, but i'm here now, aren't i?" you rambled, not bothering to stop when kento opened his mouth to rebut. "let's not dwell on what's already happened and move forward, please?"

he fell silent, pressing his lips together in a thin line. it seemed as though there was more he wanted to say, and you knew there was, but this conversation would never end—he wouldn't be relieved of his guilt.

a sigh passed through kento's lips, more pigmented after pressing them together tightly. he nodded and as he rubbed gentle circles onto the top of your hand, he whispered an agreement.

you smiled at him, squeezing his hand to reassure him. kento kept wordless for another minute, head hung low and eyes shut. it was visible to anyone that his guilt was swallowing him whole, but he was fighting it for you. he covered your hand with his other, both hands now encasing your own. taking you by surprise, kento brought your hand up to his lips and placed the gentlest lingering kiss atop the skin. his lips, so soft and so warm, left a light buzz on the spot they laid on, and one throughout your body.

"when everything gets cleared up—your health, the reports—i'm taking you out."

what?

"seeing you hurt and in this state made me come to my senses. it confirmed something i had held back for so long, and made me realize that i can't wait."

"kento... what are you saying?" you mumbled slowly, confusion evident in every word.

he sighs, treading carefully. it's clear he's figuring out the right words to say, how to express how he's feeling.

"i'm saying that... in our line of work, developing close bonds with people can be dangerous. we can never be too sure, we can never be too close to someone because in the blink of an eye, it might be gone. what we do is dangerous. but, i think that not taking a chance is even more dangerous."

he sighs shakily, "and i am guilty of not realizing this sooner. but fate seems to be on my side, because even if i don't take them, chances keep coming back to me. and i think now, i'm ready to take it."

kento kisses your hand and brings his eyes to yours, finally declaring,

"i'm ready to take this chance with you."

and you smile, nodding as fireworks go off throughout your being.

after all these years, he finally likes you back.

note — sorry for the corny ending, i just needed to get the request done 😭 and sincerest apologized to the anon who requested, i really have no excuse other than writers block and busy schedules :(

m. list

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

My fic recs

...yes it is just my ao3 bookmarks but anyway.

Hunger Games

Now we're all the chosen ones

Hunger Games & Six of Crows crossover - well, you get six of crows in HG setting. I think the author did a great job at making up the characters background so fits the world and the characters as well.

Not all of them are in one games, which is great, cos all your faves can stay alive, and the series is longer <3

Each of the arenas was very unique as well, it never felt repetitive.

Mag's War/Mag's Trilogy

Basically, the revolution and the aftermath through the eyes of Finnick Oddair, Mag's protege.

What I really like about this series is the worldbuilding that goes into fighting a war, winning it and reform the country, but more so, I like the relationships in this series.

The relationships are really a driving force for Finnick, his love for Mags, Annie, later Cashmere and Johanna. My favourite is Finnick and Johanna (qpr) in the happy end version - "this might not be the perfect ending for everyone, but it is for us"

Phoenix Fire & Mockingjays

Once again, briliant worldbuilding. Even the encyclopedias are fun to read, and the whole thing is rereading material.

There is one story from the series that is my favourite though:

My Eyes Dazzle

Absolutely horrific story of President Snow, his young wife- his obsession and paranoia that runs so deep you can feel it.

Mind the content warnings, though.

Harry Potter

Bonds of Grey

Very elaborate canon rewrite including soulmates – soulmates of choice, platonic soulmates.

You could argue that the characters are overpowered, but it's so fun to read, on the battle field and on political courts as well.

Prince of Slytherin

It'd just feel weird not including Prince of Slytherin, I've read it multiple times. You can also see the writing style improve through the books.

Also, there's a scene of professor Snape eating popcorn at a wizangamot meeting. I think.

Oh god, not again!

Very funny time-travel fix-it. Well, fix it. (Barely anything gets fixed and several new problems are created.)

Contains this quote: HP: „Come on! Do you think if I was the heir of Slytherin, I wouldn't be merchandising it?!“ „...fair enough.“

Lucius Malfoy and the terrible, horrible, no good time

...okay that's not the official title but that's what's going on. It's incredibly funny, I sent this to my roommate and she was laughing out loud.

Lucius is so funny in this, obsessed with his hair, slughtly (rightfully) afraid of his wife, and pissed that the deatheaters keep breaking his fine china.

Next two are from @thistlecatfics

Nymphadora, Nymphet

First of all, mind the content warnings. Really, do. It's the Blacks.

Second of all, this is very beautifully written, and I find myself thinking back at it, remembering some quotes. It's haunting.

Icarus

I've only read this one once, but it stayed with me, it's just so vivid. Dealing with the war ending when the war is the only thing you knew.

Also, the definition of mutually destructive relationship <3

Once again, read the tags, though.

The Locked Tomb

Crawl home to her

I lack the words to describe this, but this fic was what made me actually use the ao3 bookmarks function for the first time. Let that speak for itself.

Descendants

Okay first of all everything that my mutuals wrote <3

So I'm gonna write just few that I really like:

From @tiredflowercrown

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

Ivy/Claudine. Ivy being the self-destructive diva she is and causing chaos at the pirate crew meeting.

...you know, I just really need to throw Ivy de Vil and Harry Hook into a room together and study them. For the greater good.

Dirty

I just think Harriet should get violent more often, that's all <3

Oleander petals

And Anthony deserves to give in to the darker side. You know, as a treat <3

Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry?

„Oh so that makes it okay? You had faith that your cousins, who you had never put in positions of power, and the boys who love you so much that they would stop breathing if you asked them to, would be able to care for an entire crew! Harry shut down when he realized you had left! You think Harriet is an alcoholic, you should’ve seen Harry!”

That was a quote and I have nothing else to add.

@humaforever 💞

Seven Deadly Sins

Okay funny story about this story: I just started rambling about this ship in dms, completely drunk, and when I woke up the next day, (hungover), there was a story!

A miracle!

(thank you)

Innocent bystander

Sammy Smee is suffering, forever and ever. It's fun to watch.

Secret Santa

This one is great cos it's all my faves! Together! Being happy! Causing only moderate amount of chaos!

Look I'm pretty sure that I could write it down from memorory with like, fifty percent accuracy. It's just good, and I'm rereading stuff a lot.

@shellyseashell

Heart made of glass

Claudine! Pirates! Theatre nights!

What else can you wish for?

No, really, I really love this story. It's amazing with the friendships Claudine is slowly building, with Isle kids that shouldn't care but do.

Our finest gifts we bring

Anthony fretting over what to get his Girlfriends for christmas.

Every character that appears feels so real and true, and I like the gifts that they got.

@theamityelf

The worst is now the victor

Descendants kids in Hunger Games setting cos apparently I like hurting myself-

Really though, it's so well written, and there's a ton of comfort in there as well. And Uma always trying to do the most!

Where the angels used to be

Another crossover, this time Good Omens, with Uma and Audrey taking on the roles of Crowley and Aziraphale respectively. (For those interested, Core 4 are horsemen of the apocalypse.)

I really like watching Uma and Audrey through the ages, but my favourite is them with Harry and Gil. Uma just. Let them follow her everywhere. She forgot that humans are supposed to age and die, okay?

And Harry didn't really feel like telling her.

The scene when Audrey tells her is probably my favourite, Uma's just like: "Harry? Do you wanna die?" "Nah I'm good." "Okay."

@nocturna-iv

A path to an answer

... I'm just gonna leave the link there for this one.

Blue Domain

Complete AU. Some politics, Evie and Uma friendship, Harry/Uma, what more could a girl want.

Okay last ones probably, without tagged author:

Anchored

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, the first smut fic I managed to read. (That's not on the author btw, that's on me, I don't really like most smut scenes. This is very sweet tho)

Til the storm comes

The pirate crew. Not just Sea Three, the whole dead. Bonny, Desiree, Jonas, Gonzo, Claudine, Marya, whole bunch of others.

This fic is great, very raw-like. They're Isle kids to the core and it's so real.

Plus, the party scene is great.

That concludes my fic recs for the day, thank you for your attention <3

[darcylightninglewis]

Good morning!!! Sorry to bother but since you are the most knowledgeable person I know about Hellcheer can I ask you if you have ever read a fic where Chrissy survives Vecna and then joins the group to defeat him? Thanks in advance and have a great day!!!

Okay, first off, you're never a bother, ever.

Secondly, I am honored by your ask. Sorry for the delayed response, it's...it's been a weird emotional exhausting few days but we're back!

Where my brain immediately went to

Chrissy and Eddie’s Infinite Mixtape by @little-scribblers-heart

What may be (to my reading knowledge) the most epic rewrite of S4, really can't recommend LovelyThings enough.

(sooner or later it comes down to fate) i might as well be the one by @majicmarker

Another great one and one of the best stream of conscious Eddie writers I've ever come across. Their fics always make me laugh.

someone reaching back for me by @enoughtotemptme

Okay, this one is gonna make you sad, but eventually very happy too! It was the first groundhog style fix its fics I read for season 4 and introduced me to the writer's work who I also can't rec enough.

EDIT

OMFG, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T INCLUDE @hangon-silvergirl!! Thank you for pointing out my mistake, @majicmarker <33

Bonus Tracks by @hangon-silvergirl

Everything by her is amazing and this is no exception. I love it when folks use things we learn from con's in fic (like Chrissy's would be Vecna song), superb. A WIP, but off to a killer start.

Now below these are ones that have been on my Marked for Later list because I'm just in need of pure uncut fluff these days but come highly recommended.

the pleasure, the privilege, is mine. by melodicvinyl

I just love the starting premise of this one, I can see it being a thing Eddie does to make her smile or it's actually his mundane superpower that finally comes in handy. Also love their other fics too.

Linger by CircusBones

Hawkin's High 10 Year Reunion! Class of 86! Chrissy Cunningham has built a life in California, far from the demons of her youth, from her mother to Vecna. There's people who were always good to her, though. Healing might have taken her away from them, and coming back has its own challenges. This story moves between the events of 1986, and Chrissy experiencing Hawkins ten years later.

I've read their shieldshock fics and love them so I'm sure I'll love this too.

like hands that tick on a clock by theredhoodie

What if Chrissy Cunningham wasn't Vecna's first victim, but she survived instead? How would that have changed things for everyone? A ST4 shippy rewrite.

aesthetic chills by sloelimbs

"aesthetic chills" is the literal translation of frisson, which is the feeling you get when listening to a really good piece of music.

put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch by Percyjacksonfan3

Here's the thing about Chrissy Cunningham: she actually is the straight laced dependable good girl that everyone thinks she is. She's also, until she starts having these weird visions that make her feel like she's going out of her mind, insanely bored. Or, alternatively, the fix-it AU where Chrissy doesn't die and she and Eddie try and figure out what the hell is going on with her. And with them. Also, the usual gang is there. Eventually. Because these two need some serious help fighting demons and figuring out that they are not just friends.

If I missed an author's tumblr name please forgive me, I'm preeeetty brain dead. If I missed any fellow Hellcheerios, please drop them in the comments as I'm sure this isn't an exhaustive list. But hopefully enough to get you started babes!!

Hellcheer to canon:

[memberment]

Genesis

Goooooooooodmorning.

Idk why I'm making a post yet I really don't feel like writing. ANYWAYS. Updates may come today. They also may not. Idk yet.

6:51 Hello from beyond. A new playlist is being born as I write through chapter 30. Also, I think I finished my chapter 7 art. It's Craig carrying Tweek home after they first met. They were so cute 😭 Idk what the message is gonna be in that one yet though. I know what the response is, but not the og message. And I am realizing as I type that that I was not supposed to reveal that but fuck it we ball there's like six people on here it's okay.

ANYWAYS. IF I CAN FINISH 30 AND ACTUALLY WRITE 27 (due to a restructure, I skipped over it entirely and have to go back and rewrite it.) AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, CIRCLE BACK AND FINISH 22, I will be soooooooo happy. I got like 12 hours til sleep time and I prob will not be working on chapter 8 art. Because I do NOT wanna draw Kenny and Clyde just yet. (I'm afraid. I wanna put them in their magical girl uniforms and ACTUALLY SHOW THEIR UNIFORMS bc they do change eventually and I feel like the contrast goes INSANE.)

9:19: Hello friends totally didn't get distracted<3 ANYWAYS. Back to this hell chapter of everyone having a bad time.

1:38: I got so distracted Desolation was late and I didn't write anything. I have literally written under 1k today which is fucking insane to me. I write more when I'm "on breaks"

But I have come here to yap about something. While I'm "on break" I think I'm going to rework The End Is Near AND New Beginnings. Meaning they might get deleted for a bit. Because I kinda wanna redo them both because let's be so real here. My writing was not shit, but I feel like they are both gems that need a bit of love. I don't know if I'm gonna commit to the bit but I really fucking might LMFAOO.

But I do really want to redo New Beginnings because that was the whole reason I started writing fanfic and people are still looking at it and I feel like it pales in comparison to what I write now.

And reworking those two will be much more lax while I suffer through 15 weeks of physics hell. SOOO.

Whatever. Gonna try and get through chapter 30. and maybe 27 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT WHAT THE FUCK‼️‼️

I lied I'm yapping for all of five more seconds because I need to complain and refuse to get a diary.

I am actually really sad that I'm not gonna have every day posts anymore. Like I am trying so hard to cope with it but y'all.

Desolation has 4 chapters left. Tweek's Guide has 7 chapters left. Eclipse has 4 (technically five but epilogue's short so it's gonna get posted same day) chapters left. Craig's Guide has like 10 chapters left. Dandelion has 8 (technically 9) chapters left. and Leap year has 8 chapters left. (Genesis doesn't count because that just started. ) LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE. I HAVE FOUR FICS AND THERE ARE SEVEN DAYS OF THE WEEK. AND I CAN'T POST MY ONE REALLY FUNNY TRASHFIRE FIC BC PART OF IT IS SO GOOD I KINDA WANNA SPLIT THE CONCEPTS UP AND I REFUSE TO FINISH IT TIL I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Like y'all do not understand daily posts are like embedded in my brain. I love it. HOW DO I FIX THIS WITHOUT ACTIVELY WRITING. I hate it here. Oh also when Eclipse or Desolation get finished Dandelion is moving to Monday/Wednesdays because Freedom Pal Fridays are being a thing. Because I have. So. Many. Goddamn. Freedom. Pals. Fics. Sitting. There. ScREAMING. For. Me. To. Write. So An Answers getting thrown on Fridays. But how do I space this out? (I am so sorry for this unnecessary lengthiness I am officially just gaming this out as I type because my brother is sleeping and I can't call him to yap.) Like- I wanted to do Sunday for Genesis but I feel like Sundays kinda suck as post days, lowk. So what then? Monday Wednesday Friday Saturday???? I can't just do Tuesday and not Thursday. AH. I hate it here. I need more time and we are constantly running out of time.

Life is fleeting, and I simply hate it.

2:39: JUST HIT 90K. This has been cut down to 38 chapters. I have 1k ish left of 30. 27 is still undone. 22 needs its angel fight. So approximately 29k-36k ish left. I'm losing my mind. I can't believe I am speedballing through this like that. WHICH MEANS IF GOD SHINES DOWN UPON ME I CAN FINISH BOUND IN PEACE.

Then what?

Do I start my break early?

I don't wanna do that? What the fuck would I even work on then though??????

LMFAO about to pray for clarity.

3:44: Creative freedom is fucking crazy because Wendy's having a heart to heart with Brimmy right now.

4:14: I keep cutting chapters and part of me is starting to worry that this is too short but in the same breath like I'm combining them because drawing them out feels kinda lazy and rude. But we are now down to 36/37 chapters. I can't be too mad about it. But part two might be like, way longer. Also we're at 92.3k. SO I DID SOMETHING TODAY.

I lowk wanna work on bound for a bit but that means committing myself to an entire chapter because I can't just write part of a chapter and go back to it for that one and kinda I wanna reread the whole thing before I work on it more. UGH.

I might. I honestly fucking love Bound, like that was my baby when I was concepting it. I literally wrote so much of it while I was on vacation. Like stats on that one suck bc it's so niche but I do not even care. One of my favorite fics that I've written, easy. I'm not even a K2 girlie. I just wanted to write one because it was gonna annoy me if I didn't throw my hat in the ring at least once. I might write background K2 though for something unimportant bc I kinda like how I write them ngl. OKAY GOODBYE FOR NOW I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF TO MAYBE WRITE ANOTHER BOUND CHAPTER.

[malkaleh]

unpublished fics game

I got this from @nocompromise-noregrets - thank you friend <3333. I’ve been having a ‘this is cliche, annoying, bad writing and not historically accurate/worse than philippa gregory’ brain crisis so I’m hoping to maybe get my brain started by talking about. So I thought I’d divide into categories.

Really Just Ideas/Outlines At Best

TWW Poly AU - the scandal isn’t the MS (they disclosed that) the ‘scandal’ is the Jed/Abbey/Leo relationship

TWW Ballet AU

The Roger/Chioke ‘worst recognises worst but Roger is absolutely playing him like a master musician’

The Plantaganet OT4 AU

The Multifandom Sex Slave AU (set in sort of fantasy Rome)

Persian Jewish Sara Crewe

Robert Dudley Travels Back In Time

TWW characters + trauma survivors

TWW Hunger Games: Abby’s Games

Multifandom Sex Slavery AU

Specific Tudors OT3 Verse Ones (That Are Just Ideas)

Helen Norwich

Dance Rehearsal

Tudors OT3 Verse Ships + Taylor Swift

English Civil War

The Crows Have Cameos

The Big Ones (that actually have stuff published)

Grishaverse Hunger Games: I wrote summaries of all the characters journeys and I wanted to go into detail - I have Jespers and I’m working on Kaz right now (he is very difficult to get talking). It’s taking the fact that the Crows and My Favourites From Shadow And Bone know each other and became friends and made me think - all these different Victors coming together to become family and also take down some fuckers (mostly Darkles)

Rewrite The Stars 2.0: I’m rewriting the first Tudors OT3 verse fic because it was only meant as a one shot and I have so so much more world building and ideas to write. I’m just stuck right now because (see above). It’s a fairy tale with a happy ending but it has a fight, it has pain and it has scars that will remain heavy but also, there will be love.

In another world this is how it might have gone between the three of them. The story of how the love between three extraordinary people change the world for the better and made it the kindest. The story of a fight for a fairytale

Crown Of Ashes:

Crown of Ashes is very inspired by the Taylor Swift Song Castle Crumbling. It’s a ‘what if Mary Tudor made similar choices to her father’ for better (and worse and maybe in between) reasons to her. What if everything the world tells you you should believe and want is wrong actually - what if you get everything you thought you wanted and it sucks.

This one. I know where I want to go, I’m just Not Getting There. I think I need to listen to the playlist again.

Tortall Found Family: Essentially this is about Numair/Arram coming to Tortall, heavy on the Jon-Thayet-Numair friendship but everyone is here, my absolute conviction that Ozorne never stopped loving Numair throughout all the books, that Roger had a really creepy possessive thing for Jon and also BONDING. Also contains Biracial Jon of Conte content (I think).

I’m going to quote from @nocompromise-noregrets here: Do please ask me about any that catch your eye, I am in dire need of talking about them, and it might just kickstart the muses…I do need interaction to spark the ideas, it turns out, I'm not great at this in isolation.

Tagging (if you want to obviously): @boleynqueenes @boleynecklace @theladyelizabeth @jackironsides @emilykaldwen @miabicicletta @unseenacademic @sherwoodknights @corporalicent @dr-dendritic-trees @endoftheworldhere @cinemaocd

[wikiangela]

oooh buddie death cast, bucktommy smut and barbecue?

buddie death cast answered here and here

bucktommy smut is the sequel to this fic where buck really wanted it to be smut but, clearly, it takes me forever to write one lol - it was started post-7x04, with only the promo of 7x05, so I'm sticking with that (yes, it's been a while lol) it's also getting long, I'm at 4k and they're just starting to take off clothes lol

a lil snippet:

“So I take it that it’s okay?” Tommy asks, and Buck’s so dizzy and breathless he barely registers it. “Huh?” he blinks as Tommy pulls away to look at him, a little amused but also almost… wonderstruck, analyzing, as if cataloging yet another piece of information he learns about Buck. Buck knows, because he does the same thing with every little thing he finds out about Tommy. He wants to know everything, and he can’t wait to keep learning. “Me calling you baby? That’s okay?” He’s smiling, and of course he has to know, based on Buck’s reaction, but he’s still making sure, and Buck thinks he’s going to melt into a puddle all over the backseat of the car right now. Tommy’s just so sweet and gentle, and thoughtful, and he always makes sure Buck’s good and comfortable, while also remaining confident and taking charge, and it- it makes Buck’s insides flutter. What a fucking man he somehow got. He doesn’t want to ever let him go. It’s only their second date, and he knows he’s getting ahead of himself in true Buck fashion, but he just- this one feels different. He really hopes it leads somewhere. “Tommy.” Buck rolls his eyes, and his face splits into a grin. “Of course it is. It’s much, much more than okay.” he gulps, eyes falling to Tommy’s lips again.  “Okay.” his lips curl into that smile – that easy, happy, excited smile that Buck’s loved since the moment he saw it for the first time, the one gracing Tommy’s face after he kissed Buck for the first time and asked if that was okay. “I figured. Just wanted to make sure.” he whispers, leaning in again, breath ghosting over Buck’s lips.  “That’s so hot, you know?” Buck breathes out, and kisses a chuckle off of Tommy’s lips.

and the barbecue one! I got lowkey stuck at the very beginning but I'm working on it lol - it was inspired by that one video of lou barbecuing shirtless bc 🥵

basically, buck and tommy hosting a barbecue at tommy's place, with the firefam and some of tommy's friends from harbor (and I'm obsessed with the idea of tommy being the person children just adore for no reason so tommy and kids feels!)

it's a little disjointed for now bc I started with madney, but then I started rewriting it bc I didn't like how i started it, but here's part of the first version with madney, it's gonna be better after rewriting lol (I have more notes than actual fic so far)

(this one was started before madney wedding, but i might change that a bit too lol)

“Where’s Tommy?” Jee immediately asks, and Buck can’t help a soft chuckle. Ever since Chim and Maddie’s wedding, Jee’s been obsessed with Tommy. He’s just the kind of person everyone’s drawn to, especially children. He can be such a goofball and he loves entertaining them. Buck thinks he’s going to be such a good dad one day, and that thought fills him with such fondness and excitement. “Should be in the backyard. Through there.” he points, directing all three of them, Jee just takes off running in the direction Buck pointed, Chim hurrying after her. “I’ll be right there.” he adds, mostly to Maddie, as he stays behind when he hears another car park in front of the house.

ask me about my wips <3

[meidui]

i'm answering all 30 fic writer asks as seen on kelly@fohatic's blog 😽 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? fool's gold was a 1872 fic and it was one-sided dialogue but with no quotation marks, so it was supposed to read like somebody from timely was telling you about what happened! i liked it but i don't know if i would do it again because it's just stylistic, i think it worked for 1872 because it suited the small town setting

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!) i have too many wips but i posted 56 fics on ao3 this year!

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? that i dilly dally a lot to avoid writing smut scenes and that the discord sprinting bot is my best friend

4. What piece of media inspired you the most? probably endgame because we had the @stevetonyisendgame exchange and prompt fest this year, so i rewatched it a lot and ended up writing lots of endgame-adjacent/post-endgame!! they're so soft in that movie i can't help myself

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year? all marvel except for one fic for game changers! i foresee house md fic in 2024

6. What ship(s) captured your heart? stevetony has always had my heart does that count

7. What character(s) captured your heart? i love steve rogers even more than i did last year

8. Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year? new ships!! i wrote steve/thor and steve/natasha for the first time for captain bottom bingo and steve/peggy for the first time for steggy secret santa

9. What fic meant the most to you to write? nobody saves me, baby (the way you do) because kristina@samcky had an unposted draft of it that she let me rewrite 🥺 so it meant a lot to me because she's all over that fic and i just love her with all my heart

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? i think it's a tie between winged and how porcupines kiss because they're so fluffy! although this might a little biased because @capnstars drew the cutest winghead!steve art you've ever seen in your entire life for winged and @itsmaybitheway drew THIS PRECIOUS PORCUPINE!STEVE AND ARMADILLO!TONY for how porcupines kiss 🥺

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? probably hell and high water because i worked on it slowly for months which usually doesn't happen, and it might even be one of my favourite fics that i've ever written so i was really proud

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? i don't think anything was difficult to write but new york is a hell of a town (and i'm brooklyn down) was so silly of me because it's set in august, but i wrote the first part in april and the second part in october and didn't really work on it during the actual summer 😶 like what was that?? why did i do that?? i'm so sorry

13. What fic was the easiest to write? into the forever and beautiful sky! it's a rocket-centric fic with rocket & steve friendship, i wrote it right after watching gotg vol 3 and it's just feelings vomit ahahah

14. What were your shortest and longest fics this year? my shortest fic was fool's gold which was 546 words and the longest fic that i wrote by myself (not just this year but also ever in all my life) was a rose by any other name which was 11.6k words! without caveats the longest fic is heartbreak prince, which i wrote with @areiton and it was 12k words!!

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023 a beast of a burden is really special to me so i want to rec that one! because i wrote it for the endgame exchange that i loved so much and it was for mrsgingles, who is my favourite stevetony artist, and it reminds me of this summer, and it also feels like the truest love letter to endgame that i've ever written

16. What were you go-to writing songs? i don't have any! usually it's whatever i'm already listening to or a movie or show that i'm watching, but i listened to exo's lotto on repeat when i wrote hit the lotto because that's what the fic sounds like in my head and taylor swift's timeless when i wrote once in a lifetime because it was based on that song

17. What were your go-to writing snacks? NO TIME FOR SNACKS WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO NEED TO KISS

18. What was the hardest fic to title? maybe lovelorn and nobody knows? i started working on it before 1989 tv came out and it didn't have a title for way too long, the google doc was literally just called "there are still beautiful things steve pov" and then it took me like 20 minutes of comparing 1989 vault lyrics to pick one 😭

19. Share your favourite opening line from the ice is getting thinner under me and you (a hockey au)

Steve is supposed to be at a bar downtown with the rest of his team. Steve is not supposed to be back in the emptied out stadium, his back slammed against the lockers with Tony's tongue in his mouth.

20. Share your favourite ending line i added the second last line for context but this ending line is my favourite because time has always been against steve and peggy, so i feel like the best show of how happy and safe they feel together is that they finally don't have to watch the clock or worry about time slipping through their fingers anymore 🥺 this is from from we were born to be national treasures

When she laughs, eyes glittering, he has the most peculiar feeling that he was always meant to end up right here, kissing the maroon lipstick off Peggy’s mouth, swaying under the sprig of mistletoe they never took down from Christmas as someone starts to shout a countdown to New Year’s. She cups his face and he smiles into the kiss, and neither of them bother watching the clock.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue from if my wishes came true (buckynat)

“You got that written down in your notebook?” “I don’t need to write you down to remember you, Natasha Romanoff.”

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene there were so many close contenders aahh but my favourite scene has to be the one from catastrophic blues when tony finally catches steve!!

“Then don’t make me hurt you,” Tony says, raising his palm and lighting up his repulsor. “I know you know what this does. You’re unarmed and backed into a dead-end alley. You’re not winning this one, kid, I can tell you that for free. Take off your mask.” The Vigilante glowers and stands his ground. “My whole life is dead-end alleys. I’m not taking off my mask.”

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out? the whole end part of near-death cliché took some wrangling just because i was trying to make it sound like something kang the conqueror would say haha

“I’ve killed a lot of Avengers and it all starts to blend together,” Kang says, “but I remember you because you always end up fighting for him. I admire the consistency. It’s rare.” “Him?” “You could be with Steve Rogers,” Kang says almost empathetically, and it’s like he has gently wrenched Tony’s heart out of his chest. When the repulsors on his palms falter, Kang continues in the same disarming tone. “I could send you back to the battlefield. You’d open your eyes and he'd be there.”

24. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? this is hilarious to me because the recurring motif in but saving what we love was supposed to be steve and tony calling each other's bullshit over the years but it ended up being overshadowed by star wars. so much star wars, in fact, that it warranted a "star wars references" tag

25. What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.) google docs

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? all of i thought the plane was going down (how'd you turn it right around) for two reasons! one is that i feel like maleness informs a lot of their lives and experiences and for a while i didn't really get the appeal of genderbending them, but then i read all of isozyme's lesbian stevetony fics and i had an epiphany about genderbending being an opportunity for character and relationship study, and two is that once i had said epiphany i realised i actually had a lot to say so i wrote captain eve rogers in one go and now i love her so much

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? hmm i don't think so!

28. How did you recharge between fics? i don't think i really do that either

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? oh my gosh. with all the sincerity in my heart, every person who gave me a kudo or a comment or is subscribed to my ao3, recommended my fics or my blog, said in a reblog/tweet/discord message/dm that they liked one of my fics or it made them happy or they were excited about reading one, follows me on tumblr or looks at my gifs or likes/reblogs my posts, runs fandom events, shares their beautiful fics or art or edits with us, all the members of the steve rogers defense squad, truly everyone who i've had an interaction with (except the steve antis and bots in my block list 😠) because i'm so grateful to have this community and that we met because we love the same thing and we can make each other's days better. deactivating for 10 months was the right thing to do but i'm so happy to be back this time because of you

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024? some of these have been cooking in my head for so long that they have TITLES

that famous happy ending (enchanted au)

play house (wandavision au)

plausible deniability (rival lawyers au)

wild and beautiful (feral/tarzan steve au)

yoga instructor steve and discharged air force pilot tony

prequel to kristina's beautiful ocean's 11 au, Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye

[scyllas-revenge]

when I saw all your wips i was paralysed by indecision because they all look sooo good but I will say Christmus in Connecticut or if someone's already said that the matchmaker fic!

I've already been asked about the matchmaker fic, but the Christmas in Connecticut one is one of my favorites! (even though I haven't actually made progress on it in at least a year, lol)

Since you asked about it, I'll assume you're familiar with the movie, but for anyone who hasn't it's this beautiful film here:

which is THE fake dating story. It's got so many levels of fake dating XD In fact once I realized how much fanfic potential it had I knew I needed to write a LOTR Christmas In Connecticut AU.

It's a Farawyn fic, with such a convoluted premise that I'll just paste in the fic summary here:

After the War of the Ring, Faramir is injured and exhausted in both body and spirit. Knowing that he’s never had a happy home life, Boromir sends his little brother on a much-needed holiday in Rohan for Yuletide. After all, there’s no better place in Middle Earth to experience a peaceful, cozy, nurturing household. Everyone in Gondor has heard about the elegant, refined Lady Eowyn, who famously oversees the Golden Hall’s sumptuous kitchens, tenderly cares for the refugee children of Edoras, and maintains a stable, thriving home in Meduseld alongside her loving husband. The problem? Eowyn might have lied about a few things. And under no circumstance can Faramir find out.

I swear I'm going to write this thing someday! Every Christmas when I watch the movie I get newly motivated XD Anyway here's a slightly longer snippet of the first chapter:

“I step away from my loom and take in the enchanting view from windows of the Golden Hall. There is nothing like the Riddermark for sheer, wild beauty. I have never seen the ocean, but I have heard tell that our rolling hills are much like the rolling blue waves of the sea. “As I look out over our golden sunset, a cool, gentle breeze wafts through my window, and I smell the elaborate Yuletide feast our kitchen is preparing—" “A cool, gentle breeze?” Merry exclaimed. With an enormous shove, he forced the shutters closed against the howling winter wind, his chest heaving with the effort. “They’ll never buy this in Gondor, you know.” “They will if I can help it.” Eowyn adjusted the parchment in her hands, her fingers smudged with ink. She had learned to write several years ago, but she had never exactly been good at it. Certainly her writing was not very tidy, like the snippets of script she’d seen from Gondor. But it didn’t matter—her letters would be rewritten time and again by more elegant hands in Minas Tirith, shared among the highest circles of noblewomen in the White City. Copies of Tales of the Golden Hall were being spread all along the coast of Gondor, last she’d heard. The thought made her heart flutter with pride. “Well, go on then,” Merry urged. “Alright: I make my way to the kitchens, where our servants are hard at work crafting the rich courses I planned. Freshwater fish and eel will serve for our first course, braised to perfection. Flashing in the firelight as though they still live, they rest on a bed of hearty winter vegetables, which are perfectly sliced to resemble the gleaming stones of a riverbed. Next comes a flock of whole-roasted pheasants, stuffed with apples and cloves. As bewitching as these dishes are, however, our third course blows them all away: a boar so large I half-fear the table shall buckle under its weight. Its skin crackles pleasantly as—" “A boar?” Merry interrupted again, snorting. “A whole flock of pheasants?” Eowyn shrugged. “These letters are meant to show off the Riddermark’s strength. Its resilience. Gondor need not know we’ve been half-starving since the war ended. They cannot, if we wish to increase trade with them.” “If you were half-starving last winter, you must be fully starving now.” “We’ll get by.” She studied her writing nervously. “Does it ring false? I can rewrite it.” “At the pace you write?” Merry laughed. “We’d be sitting here until spring comes.” He yelped and dodged the empty inkwell Eowyn threw at him.

[error-dream-was-found]

20 Questions For Writers

I was tagged by @bleue-flora so let's see :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So if my calculations are correct I have 6 published works. It is not much but frankly if someone asked me 4 years ago how many stories will I ever post online I would laugh and tell them none because my anxiety is not fond of publishing anything. It's kinda crazy to see how much I actually ended up writing and how many people like those stories <3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh crap, just let me grab a calculator ... ehm ... it seems that my AO3 word count is 417 452 words ... damn that's like 4-5 novels and it'd be even more if I counted the stuff that is on wattpad ... crazy

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well my main fandom is DreamSMP but I also have a Tokyo revengers fic and a pretty promising draft for a Durarara one shot

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster

By far my most popular fic. When I posted this I expected it to get like 50 kudos top but it blew up and it makes me incredibly happy to see more and more people read it and leave all those lovely kudos and comments. I have no idea what I did to deserve so much attention but I'm grateful with all my heart <3

2. Smiling masks and golden crowns

I'll be honest I didn't expect people to like Sam and Dream content so much but once again this fic exceeded my expectations, which I'm very happy about because I really enjoy writing it and nothing makes me happier than to know that I'm not the only one who loves it :)

3. Crow's nest

A lovely story I wrote together with @bleue-flora. It was super fun to write and unlike my other fics it's pretty cannon accurate (thanks to Flora ofc, I could never lol).

4. Haitani's little sister

The only non-DSMP story you will see here! This is my very first story and frankly it shows, it's quite terrible. Story vise I like this creation of mine but when it comes to the writing style and storytelling ... let's just say that once I'm over with school I might just completely rewrite it ....

5. A tale of grief and glory

And last but not least, my dear DSMP fantasy au that ... is not getting updated as often as I'd like it to ...

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Sometimes I get a bit busy/overwhelmed with life but I do my best to respond to everyone who comments on my stories. Sadly sometimes the anxiety becomes too much but I try my best. My readers are very important to me and I want to let them know that I really do read their comments and appreciate them <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

.... I like happy ends so ... I don't really do angsty endings ... frankly I don't even do endings lol, yeah I tend to get a bit too wrapped up in writing and my fics are just getting longer instead of ending 🤦‍♀️But if I were to pick the one that will have the angstiest ending it would probably be Smiling masks and golden crowns. Mostly because I have a sequel planned for it that will cover the happy end I desire.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, other than Crow's nest none of my fics are actually finished but the one that will have the happiest ending will probably be Monster's don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Thank all the gods above, no. I have no self-esteem so if anyone hated on my work I'd probably cry and be afraid to post for some time unless someone would be persistent enough to convince me that it's not bad and so on ... On the bright side, rather than hate it'd be just confirming my insecurities

9. Do you write smut?

..... ehm ... well ... you see ... I ... maybe ... might have .... Okay, yeah I do have one smut story on wattpad from a while back. I'm not updating it anymore as it wasn't really good and all but ... yeah, it happened once ...

10. Do you write crossovers?

I had some ideas but sadly I didn't get to write them yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I had I'm yet to find out, so I'm gonna go with no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! Someone is translating Crow's nest into Russian which is pretty amazing. A few people asked if they can translate Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster, Smiling masks and golden crowns and Haitani's little sister but I never actually found out whether they did ... thinking about it I might try to check 🤔

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, I had! Writing Crow's nest would not be possible without @bleue-flora! We had time limit and time zones made this whole project rather difficult but I'm very happy with how it turned out and I would totally be down to do it again it someday. Although before that I gotta get better so I can help Flora more 😅

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

There's too many to pick just one

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmmm .... well, I'm someone who has many WIPs but most of them are just drafts and/or a few scenes with close to no content so there are quite many of them that will probably never be finished or posted. From my posted ones .... well ... The tale of grief and glory is not getting many updates and Pathetic is ... I like the fic and I really wish to continue it but I kind of lost motivation after 'No rest for the wicked' by A_ghoul was deleted .... one day when I'll have more time I will certainly try to finish it but for now it's fate is rather insecure ...

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Strengths? What are strengths? ... For real though, I don't really know, whether I see my writing I feel like there is nothing outstanding about it, nothing to capture the audience and yet ... Perhaps, if I squint real hard I might consider my ability to side track a strength? It's not the best and in essays it's the absolute worst but when it comes to fanfics ... I don't really know whether I'm right about this or no but I would say that all those side plots help to make my fic be different from other fics? Because ... overall my ideas are not the most creative ones - Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster? The core idea of this fic is so basic it hurts. But ... then I messed around with it and ... I dare to say that it managed to be different from the other fics featuring the same story. At least I really hope so. I'm not going to pretend that it was a plan, actually it's quite the opposite, I struggle to keep a single line of thought and even if I do have some plan for the fic I'm rarely able to follow it flawlessly. More often than not I will just stray from it and do something extra that just came to mind

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

... literally everything. I struggle with world-building, my dialogues are trash, the pacing is messed up and those sideplots I mentioned before are a double sided blade ... but the thing that bothers me the most is grammar. I'm not a native speaker and, in spite of what my english proficiency test says, my english is certainly not very good. Especially when it comes to grammar and spelling I need to improve. Sadly this shows in my works and I'm really sorry about it. It is a little bit better now that I got a beta-read (God bless @bleue-flora, I'll never cease to be grateful for all the time she spent editing my chapters so they are a little bit more readable)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I never really had to do this in my fics so far but if I were to write a dialogue in a different language I'd probably put a translation. If the character speaks different language I think it is good to use that language but I absolutely hate it when people don't include translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tokyo revengers

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

*looks at all my fics* I hate them all equally, I srsly can't pick one. But ... well if I had to pick a favorite it would be either Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster or Smiling masks and golden crowns. Those two are currently the most fun to write and ... dunno, I just like the story I guess. But then again I'm emotionally attached to all my written babies. I spent so many hours (that I should've spent sleeping) writing those, it's hard not get attached.

Oh no, now comes the part when I'll tag someone right? I srsly need friends so I can tag someone ... but let's see ... @elmhat, @the-final-sif, @cgogs, @1wn8ure, @airrec, @swordfright, @mistythedritten and anyone who wants to address those questions :)

I probably went a little bit overboard with answering those but ... it was fun :] if anyone actually read all of this I hope I haven't bored you to death ;)

Oh and it is like 2,30 AM for my so sorry about the grammar I'm too tired to watch it ...

[jedi-enthusiast]

Ok, here's the post about how I write my fics that no one asked for, because I'm bored and it might help someone-

Outlining: Yes, I'm a planster, I physically cannot write a fic without some sort of outline, otherwise I get stuck and abandon the fic--which sucks for everyone. My Outlines tend to look like this:

(I found this formatting on TikTok, but I can't remember exactly who came up with it) If the fic is a series, I make a separate outline for each separate work (so, for example, the one above is the outline for the 3rd work of The Great War). If not, then I just put all of the info into one outline. - The Main Point(s) section is exactly what it sounds like. I put the main themes and the chapter's purpose there--so things like "Character A realizes they like Character B" or "Expands on Character B's past trauma." - The What Happens section is also what it sounds like. It's where I lay out the main points of how the chapter proceeds, so like "Character C is in danger and worried about their friends, unsure if they'll survive this battle--which scares them" and the next point will be "Character A appears and saves them, shooting of a snarky quip, before running off to fight Secondary Antagonist." (I also use the What Happens section to separate what happens in who's POV) - If my fic is following a certain TV show, then I put the episodes in the Episode(s) section--putting N/A if there isn't an episode to follow.

----------

The Writing Process: My writing process could be seen as really simple or unnecessarily complicated, depending on how you look at it, but it's what's worked for me for the 4-5 years I've been writing. First, I write out the entire chapter I'm working on as a screenplay--referencing the outline for what's going to happen. I'll write out the dialogue, the character movements, and what the characters are thinking--but in really basic formatting. For Example:

Obi-Wan: Ah, yes, of course. Knight Skywalker. Captain Rex.

---

[Rex and Anakin hide behind the rocks with Cody and Obi-Wan, unhurt but tired]

Next, I'll write out, what I like to call, the "shit draft" of my fic. It's basically me going back to the beginning of the chapter and taking things out of screenplay format--but still not really putting to much effort into making things sound good. My main focus during this part is putting down the pieces of what I want the chapter to be/touch on. For Example:

The General just smiled, "ah yes, of course. Knight Skywalker. Captain Rex."

---

Suddenly Rex and General Skywalker jumped behind cover, looking tired but only sporting minor injuries.

Then, finally, I'll go back to the beginning again and rewrite everything I just wrote in the "shit draft." This time actually trying to make things sound good. For Example:

“Ah, yes, of course,” he replied indulgently, “Knight Skywalker,” he nodded towards Rex, “Captain Rex.”

---

Suddenly General Skywalker and Rex ducked behind where Cody and the General were taking cover, breathing hard and sporting several different cuts—on their skin and armor, respectively. 

After that, I'm usually happy with what I've written and I'm free to start working on the next chapter and/or post that one, but you can send it to Beta readers or rewrite it as many times as you'd like or whatever suits your fancy.

Anywho-

I hope this at least helped someone!

[kakushigotofanclub]

Can I ask you about your wips? I'm curious

Oh boy you're so going to regret asking me this but THANK YOU SO MUCH I have been DYING to babble about all my wips

Enjoy this weirdly organized and non-exhaustive "list"

-

The big one is Burning Bridges, which I have a whopping 25,000+ words written for already. Here's the summary:

After Muzan is defeated, Inosuke doesn’t know what to do with himself, feeling unable to either adapt to his new life or return to his old one. Restless and frustrated, when he comes across a chance to go back to demon slaying, he can’t refuse. But getting stuck in an alternate timeline in which Tanjiro became the Demon King was not exactly what Inosuke had in mind.

But, uh. I really don't know if I'm ever going to finish and post it, and tbh the main reason is kind of petty lol...like, a couple years ago I used to get tons of comments on ao3 and lately I just barely get any feedback anymore. I kinda don't want to post anything I've worked really hard on to avoid getting my feelings hurt. I'd be happy to talk about it, though, if anyone's interested.

-

Another multi-chapter fic I will never post but would love to ramble about is A Couple of Bad Ideas and a Shot in the Dark, which is a KnY rewrite that takes place in the MHA universe. Although, this one is abandoned because I got too invested in a side-plot and literally forgot what I was actually going to do with the story.

-

I've also got one called Smother, which I do fully intend on finishing and posting someday! I don't have an official summary for it but it's about Obanai living with the Rengokus right after he was rescued. Here's a piece from the scene where Kyojuro and Obanai meet for the first time:

“Hi! Why are your eyes two different colors? Where did you get your pet snake? Are snakes your favorite animal? My favorite animal is a cat. Or maybe a dog. Or an owl. I don't know, I can't pick! How old are you? I'm eleven years and five months and two weeks and six days old, which means I’m almost eleven and a half. What's your snake's name? Oh, and what's your name? My name is Rengoku Kyojuro. Do you have any-" "Kyojuro." The man who saved Obanai glared at a person that looked exactly like him except smaller and way more annoying. “Give it a rest. I don’t think he’s in the mood for making friends right now. Just shut up.”

-

I have another fic about Obanai and the Rengokus—modern au, no summary but I think the plot can be summed up in this excerpt and the fact that I headcanon Obanai with ARFID:

“No! I said I was going to take her to her favorite restaurant,” Obanai exhaled sharply. “So I’m going to take her to her favorite restaurant.” He hesitated, gaze cast downwards. “That’s why I’m here. I wanted your…help.” “Of course!” Kyojuro exclaimed enthusiastically. “With what, exactly?” Obanai crossed his arms, refusing to meet eyes with Kyojuro. His face was red and he mumbled his next words: “I have to be able to eat food from there without gagging or freaking out by next week.”

-

Then my reincarnation AU called Da Capo Al Fine, which I've posted a few excerpts from before—basically, everyone reincarnates a hundred years later and Tanjiro and Giyuu are the only ones who remember their past lives. Honestly this one I feel like would just be a pain to actually write the whole fic the way I have it in my head lol. I might write one-shots for it, though, idk.

-

That's. Not everything but I think I've probably talked for long enough now 😅

[bonesandthebees]

i loved starman SO much . you did an incredible job writing the atmosphere and rising tension for it and it's still my favorite horror fic in the fandom. what was the inspiration behind it? what're your tips for writing the atmosphere of your work? :0

aaaa thank you so much that makes me so happy to hear!! I'm so proud of starman so I'm so happy that there are people who still enjoy it :)

the inspiration behind starman was partly that it was originally posted as part of a challenge/prompt event we did in a discord server I'm in. it was supposed to be a horror fic and we used a randomizer to figure out which characters it had to focus on, and by sheer chance the randomizer spit out wilbur, tommy, and dreamXD. so I knew right off the bat I was doing an eldritch/cosmic horror kind of thing with dreamXD being involved.

along with that, a few years before I participated in this challenge I had taken a trip to visit family in oklahoma. now I'd been to oklahoma several times before, but it'd been many years and it was my first time going there as an adult. the first thing I noticed while I was there was how unsettling it was to be in such an endlessly flat landscape after having grown up surrounded by mountains and hills my entire life. it made me feel like i was being watched. since I was really into cosmic horror at the time, I ended up spending that trip writing an original horror story about a giant eye watching over a small oklahoma town. so then fast forward several years to the randomizer throwing out crimeboys + dreamXD as a prompt, and I immediately thought back to that original short horror story I'd written during my oklahoma trip and decided to rewrite it as a fic.

of course there's inspiration from annihilation with the colors and the weird blood and all that. also there's the obvious inspiration from house of leaves with the formatting towards the end. I got the idea while I was in the middle of writing the fic, and while my immediate reaction was "I don't think I can actually do that on ao3" I then thought about it some more I was like "wait holy shit I might be able to make that work" and I'm so happy I did.

so that's where I came up with the idea! as far as tips for the atmosphere, I tried to focus on making the town feel restrictive and small. even though we go to several locations (wilbur's house, the gas station he works at, the cow pasture, the field he and tommy lay down in) it all circles back to the church. and I had a very specific color palette in my head while I was writing it, with the town itself mostly being described in shades of green/yellow grass, blue and white skies, and brown dirt roads. this was to contrast with all the bright unnatural colors associated with the eye to make it feel even more jarring and wrong. but to be fair a tool like that would be far more effective in a visual format rather than written format lol

there was also the game of being very careful with where I chose to fuck up the formatting. the formatting itself helped a LOT with the atmosphere because a jarring format shift like that can really fuck with a readers head. I had silent rules for myself about how I would integrate it more and more as the fic went on, and what kinds of descriptions would lead to a format shift. I wanted it to be gradual to give the readers that sense of looming dread as it became more and more common, because then they knew the end was near

overall I just tried to describe things in a way that emphasized the isolation wilbur felt from everyone around him (besides tommy). he'd grown up being the only person who could see the eye, and that alienated him from everyone else. that was one of the major things I tried to focus on, although keep in mind I wrote this in february of 2022 so I barely remember what my thoughts were while I was writing it. I wish I could give more specific advice but yeah it's just been a long time. hope that helps though!

[jandjsalmon]

2023 FFRC - February ❤️

HELLO everyone! I hope you had a wonderful February! It was a short month so there were slightly fewer stories to read and there was this ghost show that came out (you might have seen it flood your dash) that needed to be binged over and over again so we get a season two - but I still found moments to curl up with some favourite fics and I hope you did too! I was pretty focused on crossing off fic challenge tasks so I felt less enjoyment in my reading as usual. I hope this next month will be better.

Throughout February, I had a surprisingly large number of new followers (a substantial number of whom are not bots - shocking, right?!) and though I'm not sure how you all found me, I'm thrilled to have you here (and happy to see that you're real people and not bots).

As most of you know, I'm a regular participant (and low-key assistant) at the @fanfic-reading-challenge - additionally, for the last couple of years, I've been tracking all the fic I read and I've reported back here once a month with some stats and some recs, and a little bit of boring stuff about my life. (Or not boring - like traipsing after my daughter and her basketball team as they work their way to Provincials - their record is 22-4 so it's a possibility! Go Spartans!)

ANYWAY - I'm always looking for new fic recommendations, so if you have any stories you think I'll love, please drop me a line or send me a dm. Almost any pairing and any fandom. Shoot me a link!🖤

February 2023

As I said above, I've been plugging along on the @fanfic-reading-challenge. This month I've cracked 3million words and completed 143/309 tasks which means I've completed the "Regular" mode of the challenge. I'm working on the "Hard" mode so I need to do some searching for fics with minorities. Do you have favourite stories with minorities in them? Most of my fandoms appear to be a little lacking in that department - or at least I never think about it (like Inej is a woc - but I forgot about that until right this second). Anyway - I need to branch out - so any suggestions would be great!

As for my recs for you! Let's look at what I did read this month that you might enjoy. Try these:

--*--

Violent Delights by @ozmathegreatand (Wenvier - M 4/4)

Summary: Romeo and Juliet is far from her favorite Shakespeare play. (That honor goes to Titus Andronicus, of course.) But the crypt scene is achingly romantic, particularly the part where Juliet stabs herself. Few of the Bard’s heroines subject themselves to such violence in the name of passion. She wonders what practical effects the drama department has access to and imagines the torrent of blood she could rig.

Why you should read: Valentine's Day. Romeo and Juliet is being performed by the drama department and Romeo Xavier's costars keep meeting untimely ends. SUPER jealous (and hilarious) Wednesday. Mutual Pining. Shenanigans. This is Super Hilarious.

--*--

What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Want You More by sciencefantasy93 (Lucy/Lockwood - E 8/8)

Summary: It was all her fault. All her fault. He was losing his damn mind, and it was all because of her. One move, one second, one heartbeat, and his world crumbled apart like a warm cookie.

Or: Lockwood realizes he's attracted to Lucy, which sets in motion a chain reaction of events as he and Lucy try to take the next step without actually talking about their feelings.

Why you should read: The first steamy Locklyle fic that I've ever read and it did NOT disappoint. Very VERY in character - but also hot? Super good.

--*--

Chrissy and Eddie’s Infinite Mixtape by @little-scribblers-heart (Hellcheer - E 26/26)

Summary: Eddie was right when he told the Hellfire kids that there's no shame in running, which is why he takes a running leap to grab for the floating cheerleader in his living room.

OR: Chrissy lives and fixes what the Duffers broke.

Come for the canon-close Season 4 rewrite, stay for the explanatory chapter notes and the healing.

Why you should read: Epic in scale. Well researched and emotional without being sappy and trite. I should have known it would be amazing because it was a rec from my girl @feelavalanche - who has NEVER steered me wrong in over 10 years of fandom friendship. There is even a chapter named after David Bowie. See - you need to read this.

--*--

Hope is a Waking Dream by @writeradamanteve (Lucy/Lockwood - M 1/1)

Summary: Nightmares, dreams, it was all part of the agent package. Oh, and tea. Always tea.

Why you should read: FIRSTLY (and I shouldn't have to say this to long time followers) - It's adamanteve. You should read it because she wrote it - that should be good enough. Everything she writes is amazing. But then. SOFTNESS. The characterizations are THEM. Their mannerisms are real and their voices are beyond perfection. Comfort and lovely and wonderful. Read it!

ALSO - as I said last month, you should read and then subscribe to the_retro_witch's entire Sweet Nightmare series. It's a post-canon universe where after Crackstone's defeat, Wednesday and Xavier get together before they leave school and now it's grown into this amazing saga with mystery-solving soulmates and psychic and witchy amazingness. The other characters are developed and the plots are rich and fun. It updates pretty darn regularly and every word is a delight. Honestly. Read the series, you won't regret it. Let it be your first foray into Wenvier if you are on the fence. Don't be on the fence. Come ship with me! 🖤🖤

(lastly- I'm a little bit in love with this gif of Xavier waving - and I've been purposely flooding my dashboard with Percy for reasons - so the wave might become a theme for my year).

Anyway -👋🏼 Hiya -I'm happy you're here! I hope you have a wonderful March and I'll see you back here in a few weeks! Happy reading! 🖤

[brzatto]

Hello! I'm the person who wrote the dissertation-length comment on chapter 2 of BCM. My essay of a comment probably speaks for itself but I really love your writing. I'm still thinking about your fic over a week later and reread your reply to my comment over and over. It took me a full evening to read chapter 2 because I would read a part, sit and think about it, then move to the next part. Even though the chapter was so long I was scared with each paragraph that it was going to end, I didn't want to stop reading. The ending was really satisfying, if the fic ended there it would be a lovely ending, but like I said in my original comment I'm so happy there's more to come. The ominous reply from you saying you might scrap what you've written and rewrite the ending nudged me to message you. I really hope you don't scrap what you've written so far! Even if it's not the direction you want the fic to go now, I think everyone would love to see the alternate ending if you're happy to share it in the event you don't use it for the fic. Kind of a "BCM 0.5" if you will. Everyone is begging for the porny carmrich writing so thought I'd throw my hat in the ring and beg for the alt. ending of BCM. xD

Also thank you for leaving such a long reply to my comment! I really liked hearing your thoughts about Carmy and Richie and would love to hear more about your writing process. Your fic was the first The Bear fic I ever read and it hasn't left my mind since I first read it back in December last year.

Sorry for another really long message I can't seem to stop typing once I start. xD

(p.s. you should post the carmrich pwp huhuhuhuhu)

of course i remember you! i always remember repeat commenters and i distinctly remember being at work when i got the email for the first comment you left me on bcm, it was a really lovely comment and it made my entire night.

i say this often to a lot of commenters but it really does mean so much to me that you enjoy my writing and it has that sort of effect on you!!! like more than you’ll ever know. i can count the number of times i’ve actually published works on ao3 on two hands and i’ve always gravitated towards rarepairs with nicher audiences in almost every fandom i’ve been in so the type of enthusiasm i’ve received so far with bcm is really genuinely touching. i always try my best to reciprocate the energy given to me in the comments i get but longer ones make me especially happy because i loooove discussing character analysis and dynamics with people and i’m always eager to know how other people interpret my characters and my writing! thanks for how much thought you put into all of your comments, i always look forward to reading what you have to say <3

as for the ending of bcm i don’t actually think i’ll fully be scrapping it, it’ll still end the same general way that i had in mind but i’ll probably end up rewriting/reworking it because a big chunk of the fic leading up to it is still unwritten and by the time i actually get close to the ending it probably won’t make much sense as it is currently word for word. i don’t normally write in chronological order, i write scenes out as they come to me (i usually envision climactic scenes very visually in my head and then write them out first lol) and then fill in the gaps/flesh out the storyline as i go. but since i got the idea for this fic and planned it out back before s2 came out and now s2 is out and canon’s been vastly expanded i’ll probably end up also borrowing some elements from s2 for my own storyline purposes just because if i’m being fully honest… i actually can’t tell you what ch3 of bcm and onwards is going to be like. i have vague notions of major plot points and the direction i want the story to take and fragments of later scenes in my docs but even as it stands now uncompleted bcm is the longest thing i’ve ever written (it’s 49k on ao3 and 60k in my docs) like… ever. i’m not used to finishing fics at all much less writing long fics (if bcm would count as one) so this is all very much new territory for me but everyone’s support and encouraging really helps keep me engaged and on track! including yours 🤍 in the event that the ending does drastically depart from what i’ve originally envisioned for it i probably will upload the alt ending separately. i’ve also sort of toyed with the idea of writing some scenes out from richie’s pov but if anything that’ll be something that comes much much later.

[highdefinitions]

I was just wondering if you are going to continue the "and so it goes" series? I absolutely loved the first two chapters!

PSA: anyone that reads and so it goes should probably read this to just get the feel of what i've been feeling!!! sorry if it's long but i've wanted to talk about some things and just haven't really known how to go about it.

to actually answer your question, i will be posting chapter four on monday. i'll continue to post what i have on mondays until i don't have anything pre-written to post.

okay so i'm not angry at you per se but the more i see this question the more slightly annoyed i get. i'm not going at you, anon, but i am going to use your ask to talk about some things.

so far with and so it goes, i have chapters one through three posted. after that, i have up to chapter twelve completed and maybe a third of chapter 13 written. at this point, right now, i don't know if i will finish it. i feel too far removed in a way (i started this fic before i had ever even created a tumblr and was just going to write it for the hell of it). this fic has been up in the air for probably a little more than a year now and got shoved to the side by other projects (sparrowverse, the dead don't die, other writing i've posted) and now that i've tried to go back to it, it's hard. i write differently, the story is a little lost on me, i don't like it as much. it's difficult as a writer to just write when i don't particularly feel 100% involved in the project or entirely like it anymore. i posted it because i thought people would like it, but it seems that a large number of you do not. which might be another factor playing into this that makes me feel even less motivated.

as for the question of when are you going to update again, i've seen it many times. and i just don't know why. since i've announced and so it goes, i've been updating it weekly. i've posted a new chapter every monday since i've started actually posting it, and i cannot seem to understand the fact that people are already asking me when the next one is coming. pre-written or not, one chapter a week is pretty damn good to me. overloading and posting everything at once is silly to me and asking for even more questions like this while i try and cram to write the next chapter. you guys do have to remember that i have a life. i work two jobs, go to college full time, i have animals that need multiple hours of attention each week, as well as all the commuting i do to jobs and work and just general life activities. it's sometimes stressful and i don't like to create that added pressure on myself with writing. i do this to relax. and quite frankly, i do not owe anyone but myself anything pertaining to my writing.

with this being said, i appreciate everyone's excitement surrounding one of my fics. i love that you love what i'm writing, but i am an anxious person. i overthink and i put pressure on myself to be something i cannot physically be. i can't crank out writing like some people can, i'm too critical of myself. if i don't think it's good, it's not going anywhere. i am my own biggest critic and there's been times where i have deleted entire chapters just to rewrite them. i don't have that ability to sometimes just say, it is what it is when it comes to writing.

and it might sound like i'm saying i don't enjoy gvf anymore. of course, i do. i love their music and the boys and i'm so excited for their new album. it's just writing that doesn't particularly excite me anymore. and i might very well circle back to writing them again in the future. it happens. i go through cycles with what i enjoy writing and who i enjoy writing about. even right now i have other projects that i'm working on that i'm happy to write.

this might even lead to more questions, so if you actually read this, and do have other questions for me, don't hesitate to ask me. i want you guys to understand and make sure you don't feel like i'm abandoning ship. please ask if there's something you want to know