#I'm actually on my 4th one lmao we are still in the middle of it :

[emilyartstudio-s]

lowkey random but whenever i start a new sketchbook i always immediately hop to redbubble to get some of your stickers for the cover, i think im on my fifth one now lol

IS THAT YOU?!! IVE SEEN SOME HEFTY ORDERS AND IM LIKE??? I LOVE U WHOEVER U ARE LMAO Thank you!!! Also I'm super jealous omg I always finish mine in 4 years each book 😔🤞

[firelord-frowny]

yall these last several days have been THE! WORST!!!!

or idk, not the worst lmao i tend to try to save catastrophic language for actual catastrophes these days and since nobody is dead or maimed, i guess "really really sucked" is the better way to describe it.

but anyway. it really really sucked so bad that i dont even feel like properly ranting about it, so here's a bulleted list of the suckage. -Had (probably) the flu for like two weeks. Missed two weeks of volunteering and one week of work. -Felt better! Volunteered. Went to work. -Throat got sore in the middle of the night. like i literally FELT it get sore in real time. felt it swell. -Sore throat morphed to include an ear ache. -Also felt nauseous several times throughout the day. -went with my mom to go pick up groceries and also one single item to hopefully expedite my recovery (those lil emergen-c supplement drink packets) and somehow wound up getting yelled at about what an inconvenience it is to ~have~ to make a 20 minute round trip to pick up groceries that included something for me🙃 i literally would have just done an instacart order like i usually do but we already needed groceries and that is the only reason i put it in the grocery order so i guess that somehow means that its My Fault the household needed groceries and i guess a 20 minute trip is the worst fucking thing a person can be bothered to do on a sunday afternoon. i mean nevermind the asparagus and the yellow squash and the cornbread mix and the condensed milk and the walnuts and the clam strips and the bananas and the whole grain cereal and the canned vegetables and the frozen berries and all the other shit that aint have JACK to do with me, bc my vitamin c supplement made all of that moot and the sole reason for going to get groceries was because im a needy piece of shit whose better off idk dying of meningitis or soemthing, idfk.

-had a virtual ~urgent care~ visit. got prescribed antibiotics for what's probably a sinus infection gone nuclear. that was yesterday.

-today! throat still hurt like a bitch. couldn't really eat or drink much but I had an apple and some water before taking a dose of ibuprofen.

-went to work. started getting a migraine on the way. benadryl often takes the edge off of my migraines so my dad (who was giving me a ride to work) agreed to swing by a store and pick some up after dropping me off at work, and then swing back and bring me the meds.

-HOWEVER! you know what the first thing i did upon pulling into the parking lot at work was?

-puke. A LOT. big ol pile of puke in the parking lot. disgusting.

-called the front desk and let them know that i in fact made it to work but that i just vomited my guts out in the parking lot and should probably go home. they were like, "yikes, yeah, definitely go home, please feel better soon" and canceled all my students for the day. I'm Extra Upset by this bit because 2 of my students have missed a lot of lessons recently (one because they were on vacation, another because there were no lessons on 4th of july, another because a different student canceled, and one because i was sick) and i really really really want to keep as much consistency as possible both for the student's progression, and for increasing my chances that they'll keep me as a teacher. and i also had one new adult student that i saw for the first time last week and am super bummed that i already had to throw a wrench in his new experience learning an instrument.

anyway,

-throat was still hurting like a BITCH and i obviously needed to eat and drink especially since i THREW THE HELL UP EARLIER so i made another virtual urgent care appointment.

-got through the entire intake process as far as submitting all the forms. all that was left was for someone to call me and confirm all the info.

-i get the call! confirm the info! the lady says she'll send me a link to the visit as soon as we hang up.

-BUT THEN she asks me if i'd had a virtual visit the day before for the same reason, and i said yeah! and then she says! that i can't have a virtual visit because blah blah blah they cant do telehealth appointments for one patient for the same reason in less than 7 days! which like! ok i guess but PERHAPS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN POINTED OUT WHEN I SELECTED THE REASON IN THE INTAKE FORMS 15 MINUTES AGO???

-but whatever! okay fine! so i made an appointment for the in person clinic and was able to be seen relatively quickly.

-everybody was super nice (literally all of the medical people i've dealt with over the last two days have been super nice) and one of the desk ladies told me i have a "really sweet voice" and that made me Happyyyy and so i told her how happy it made me and that it meant an extra lot because i used to have a violin teacher who would tell me my voice was annoying and the lady was like "omg wtf" and i was like "i know right? i was like 13" and she's like "daaaaang wtf!' and im like RIGHT???

-even though i was able to be seen relatively quickly it still took kind of a long time for the nurse practitioner herself to get to me, but once she did, it was smooth sailing from there. covid, flu, and strep tests were negative. prescribed me prednisone for the sore throat. took my first dose in the clinic. picking up the rest of it from a pharmacy tomorrow.

-its now 3am as i type this and my throat is feeling significantly better. took my 3rd dose of antibiotics earlier tonight, along with some tylenol, since apparently ibuprofen can have some reactions with prednisone, and since my throat at that moment was still pretty sore. but i think by now i can finally EAT SOMETHING so thats what imma do, and then imma *samuel l jackson voice* Go The Fuck To Sleep.

[icarus-suraki]

Oh; apologies if I should already know this. I have a vague sense that I might, but my vague senses don’t match reality much of the time, and if I’m being honest the mismatch is probably growing.

But the question: are you actually a librarian, not just in terms of stereotypical perception of your appearance but in terms of your actual job? And if so (or if not) what are your thoughts on being a librarian?

Uh oh. Are you ready for my Tragic Backstory? (read in "heated basket" voice)

I am certified as a librarian--as in, I have an MLS (Master of Library Science) degree. And I made use of it for something like ten years until I basically had a mental breakdown lmao and now I'm an administrative assistant and much happier.

But, yeah, I was assigned "library duty" in 4th grade as part of the whole safety patrol/hall monitor program and I was actually really disappointed because the kids who got to help with the buses and carpool kids got to wear reflective vests and badges and even official raincoats (bright yellow with "SAFETY PATROL" on the back in black letters). But I got stuck in the library where I had to shelve books and, when the "special" for the day was library time, I'd check out my classmates' books to them. Not exactly thrilling. I guess my reading level was "above average" so the teachers and librarian assumed I'd be happy there? My undiagnosed ADHD ass was not all that happy and I was easily distracted by interesting books (this will become a theme later). I mean, I like books, and I was taken to the library a lot by my mom, but damn I get distracted.

Anyway, because of that, it meant that when I was in middle school and early high school, when I needed volunteer hours for graduation or honor societies or whatever, I could waltz up to the local public library and say, hey, I know how libraries work and you should let me volunteer here. So they did and the head of the youth services department basically counted down the days until I was 16 and they could hire me (rather than just have me volunteering). And, holy hell, I hated it lmfao.

Like, yeah, at least I got paid, but at what cost??? I was basically shelving books for four hours, five hours, six hours at a stretch. I was putting in 20 hours a week in the summers (as my parents demanded) and all I was doing was shelving. Endlessly. And mostly picture books--which meant that, once again, I'd get distracted by interesting illustrations, which got me scolded by the librarians. Sorry I suck so much, I guess?

Anyway, I had to quit when I went to college, but the college library hired me as a circulation desk assistant, which was okay if boring (at least I could play on the internet) except in the summers when we would have to shelf read for four, five, six hours at a time--that means we'd take a list of all the books that should be on the shelf and in what order and check each shelf and each book individually to make sure they're all there and all in the correct order. (I read most of the original Amityville Horror book one afternoon rather than shelf-reading and I learned one could ride on some of the smaller shelving cards like skateboards.)

Once again, I had to quit when I graduated. I wanted to be an editor or maybe wanted to get a PhD in literature (with a concentration on Modernist literature mostly because I had a 22 year-old's obsession with Ulysses). Skipping the disastrous summer of 2004 backpacking in Europe, I went to talk to my academic advisor about PhD stuff, and she suggested I get an MLS instead. She thought I'd be happier with that. Dr. G, I love you but... I was still hung up on the PhD thing so I got a job at a Barnes & Noble bookstore in November as a seasonal hire but I wound up staying there for a little over 2 years. I had a friend working on an MLS and she was pushing me towards it but I think it was the evening I had to do a turnaround, closing that night and opening the next day, and I heard a child being violently sick in the bathroom stall next to me (there was no staff bathroom) and knowing that I might have to clean it up, that I thought maybe I should get an MLS.

I quit B&N when I got a part-time library assistant job in the public library system here. I started about the same time as this other guy and every time a work email came in announcing an opening for a professional librarian position (needing an MLS), we'd look at the salary range, look at each other, and say that we needed to get our MLS degrees. So we did. I mean, we had to kick around at that library for a bit while we wrote admissions essays and the like, but we ended up at the same school, starting in the same semester, but in different concentrations (I was library science, he was information science). No, I didn't marry him. He was my work spouse. That would be weird. And, yes, of course I worked part-time in the library at my grad school. Obviously. I was a student reference assistant and I got really good at dealing with gov docs and showing undergrads how to use Wikipedia without using Wikipedia (the links, kid, the links at the bottom).

And then began my four year nightmare of applying, interviewing, getting rejected, getting rejected, getting rejected, hiring freezes, hustling, temping, driving all over the county, getting pushed around, getting insulted, having to smile and take it, and hating it all. It was 2010 and no one was hiring and I was hustling so hard as a temp in that same public library system that had hired me when I was 16. But hiring was frozen (it was 2010, after all, and everything sucked) and all I could do is work as a temporary library assistant for 39.5 hours a week and drive across the county to get those hours to prove I was worthy of hiring. It still took four years (and in between I was told I was "grumpy" and "huffy" and kept getting rejected in favor of more internal candidates) but I got hired and then I had to hustle even harder. Because even if you're not driving all over the county, you still have to prove that you're worth keeping around. The jockeying, the politics, the metaphorical chessboard--holy shit, it was awful and it only got worse. I have Tales.

After about 5 years as a full-time professional librarian, I burned out. But I didn't realize it. I just started calling in sick all the time because I couldn't get out of bed. Or I'd just not really participate in meetings. Or I'd just kind of sit there at the reference desk, waiting for my shift to be over. It was Bad.

So I put in to move to a different location--a new location, with a new building, a new staff, a new everything. I figured that would fix me. Spoilers: it did not fix me. And I just got worse and worse. I got put on an improvement plan and everything. And, eventually, I just straight-up took a demotion and went to do internal, support work. Still full-time, at least, right? That didn't help either. I kept calling out, I had notes from my psychiatrist, I was calling the EAP, I was taking FMLA, I was running out of FMLA, I got an official warning, I got a second official warning, and, in the end...I got fired.

So I went home and stayed there. For two years.

And, yeah, I was a NEET: not in education, employment, (or) training. (I was also verging on hikikomori status, but since that's more of a culture-bound phenomenon I don't think I can really claim it. But I digress.)

I had been saving up with the delusion of buying my own place at some point in the near future, so I had more than a few months' worth of living expenses saved up. I talked to a job coach, went to therapy (a lot), playing Animal Crossing (a lot), applied to jobs, slept (a lot), and just kind of...hung around, doing nothing. And it was, ironically, both the best and worst time of my life.

And this whole story is glossing over a lot, but that's how my career in libraries and as a librarian ended. I like to joke that I was apprenticed to a librarian but it really feels like I was just shunted into librarianship without any input on my part. I've never really had any idea of what career I wanted to pursue because it didn't seem like there were other options. I was going to go do library stuff whether I liked it or not. It was acceptable, it was safe (physically and financially), it was secure, it didn't matter if I wanted to do it because it was just a set of skills to be used to earn a living--no different from, say, HVAC repair. I didn't like it but it was like I was set on a track when I was 9 years old.

To close it out, after about two years of recovering from nearly 20 years of library work, I was hired at my current job and I'm much happier here now than I ever was in libraries.

[edowardoelric]

thank you for the tag!! @cinammonelles

First ship ever in you life: god it's hard to say for sure but definitely a pbs kids show... i think either matt and inez from cyberchase or sarah and james from liberty's kids but i know i was more into sarah and james lmao

The ultimate three ships: i have my top ships narrowed down to like 8 now i have to narrow it down to 3.... i'll keep it to the ones i actually have tattooed on my body or plan on tattooing. (not the characters themselves but referencing them) also I selected only the ot3 ships since well. i can only choose 3 ships so it seemed fitting. sorikai, yoohankim, love trio. just know there are many more

The first crush (Fictional Character/Fandom): lord i am a lesbian but i must admit it was zuko from atla

Last Song: comet (english version) by YOASOBI

Last Movie: uhmmmm barbie maybe? i don't often watch movies but ended up seeing it at a bachelorette party in august and i don't think i've watched any others since. we'll be watching halloween movies later this month though

Favorite Flower: i don't have a favorite honestly i just think pretty much all of them are nice

Currently Reading (you can add a link): re-reading the inheritance cycle still i think it's been like 3 or so months now lmao. i just today finished the third book and i only have the 4th left. trying to finish in time before the new murtagh book comes out in november. took me a while on the second book since parts of it were boring me 😔 work was extremely hell during a lot of it too. i plan on reading dungeon meshi next once im done

Currently Watching: basically every anime coming out this fall cour it feels like.... at the very least i'm watching 30 of them idk if all will make it through the cut but most are pretty good so far. aside from airing anime my sister and i are slowly making our way through detective conan. we started around july probably and are around 225 😭 my full time job and and her full time school makes for little free time. malcolm in the middle too if she has to work on school and needs an english show

Last thing I wrote- ship/Fandom?: merthur/merlin back in like 2012 or something..... unless the superwholock role-playing i used to do on tumblr came after but im not entirely sure.. i played sam lmao

Currently writing (you can add a link): nothing i haven't written since the above mentioned things

i won't tag anybody but feel free to do it!

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, October 4th, 2024.

Has anyone ever stolen your survey questions before, if you make surveys?: When it comes to generic questions, I wouldn't really consider that "stealing." There are only so many questions you can ask before they start to get ridiculous. As for something super specific, though, not that I can recall. I wouldn't even care if someone did. They're just surveys, after all.

Leggings with denim shorts; yes or no?: That's probably the only way you could convince me to wear shorts - with leggings/stockings underneath. Otherwise, I much much much prefer pants.

Do you like to burn candles?: I like the idea of burning candles, but as for actually burning them? I'm scared I'm going to burn the house down, or worse - light one of my cat's tails on fire.

Are Yankee Candles really all that?: I will say that I love me a good candle aisle… But I don't have a particular brand preference.

Have you ever broken into a public place, like a high school, after it was late and secluded?: No, but I have explored an abandoned house, as well as a house that was still being built/under construction.

Have you ever gone to the movies and hopped from movie to movie all day?: Pretty sure I've only movie hopped once.

Have you ever been to a drive-in movie?: I went to a few of them when I was younger. Now I'd just be too sleepy. That's waaay past my bedtime.

Would you be interested in going scuba-diving?: Nooo. I might be able to tolerate it in shallow water, but that's about it (IF even that). And I absolutely would not go into any sort of cave. You can fvck right off with that nonsense. (Lmao, I've obviously watched far too many videos of cave diving tragedies).

Have you ever heard of the band “Indian Jewelry”?: I haven't.

Do you go to church?: I went occasionally when I was younger, but not anymore.

Have you ever had sex with someone you didn’t love?: No.

Have you ever been in a cave?: I've been to Cave Of The Winds and Carlsbad Caverns.

Do you anyone who’s painfully socially awkward?: Me. But who knows, maybe I'm not as awkward as I think I am. Maybe I just ruminate on it too much.

Do you actually know anyone named ‘Bill’ or ‘Bob’?: No.

Have you ever scared yourself when you sneezed?: Not sure how I would scare myself with my own sneeze. They're not exactly a surprise. I mean, I can feel 'em coming on.

Have you ever had to attend therapy?: I've been in therapy on and off since I was in middle school. I feel like I only started to make real progress with my current therapist, though, and even that took years before it became truly noticeable.

So, what about Billy Ray Cyrus talking about how Hannah Montana ruined his life?: What about it…?

Who were you last in a hot tub with?: I have no idea.

What’s your favorite liquid coffee creamer flavor?: There's this pistachio one that I get that I really like. I'm also fond of hazelnut and pumpkin spice.

Can you knit?: I used to be able to. It's not super complicated, so I could probably pick it back up again fairly quickly.

Can you do the splits?: Not even close.

Are you wearing any rings? Not at the moment, but I do have several rings that I wear now and then.

Have you ever sold anything to a pawn shop?: No.

Have you ever traveled outside of your home country?: No.

Would you be satisfied growing up to be like your parents?: I'm not trying to throw my mom under the bus here (because this isn't meant to be mean - it's purely an observation), but I wouldn't want to turn out like her because she still has so much unresolved trauma. I wouldn't want to spend the whole rest of my life stuck in that hell. I'd like to think that by the time I'm her age, I will have found a way to move past or put to rest all the shit I've been through. And I wouldn't hate to turn out like my dad - we already have a lot of personality traits in common - but I would just rather be my own person, I guess.

Is there anything other than clothes in your dresser?: Yeah. Lots of books, for one.

How long does it take you to clean your room?: Maybe 20-30 minutes. Well, that's if we don't count the time it takes to wash/dry my bedding.

What’s in your closet? A whole bunch of random junk. Maybe one day I will finally feel brave enough to tackle it. I don't even know why I'm holding on to some of those things. It's just unreasonably hard to let go of what are relatively insignificant physical memories.

How many pictures do you take of yourself in a week?: Maybe a couple. Most of my photos are of cats, nature, and food.

Do you use iTunes, or do you unlawfully download music?: Neither. I just listen on YouTube.

Has anyone ever sent you flowers?: No.

Have you ever had a water balloon war?: Probably.

Do you have to buy something at every store you go in?: I don't have to, but if I'm going to a store, then there's probably a reason for it. I don't often go window shopping.

Do you know anyone who always looks stoned all the time, whether they are or not?: Amy - a previous staff member at the shelter. She didn't necessarily look stoned, but she acted/spoke that way. She was so chill.

Have you ever seen the movie Ghost World?: No.

The most expensive clothing item you own; how much did it cost?: Nothing I own is especially expensive, but maybe one of my hoodies? So like 45 dollars?

How many towels do you go through in a week?: Oh man…at the animal shelter…I don't even want to think about it.

Have you ever found a member of the same sex attractive?: Yeah.

Are you good at relaxing?: I'm good at doing things that are stereotypically relaxing, but am I actually relaxed? NOPE!

Do you count calories?: No. I have a general idea of how many I eat, but I don't closely track them and I try not to think about it too much.

Would you rather try Blueberry and Hazelnut Pringles, or Grilled Shrimp?: Blueberry and hazelnut.

[patchofsunlight]

i do like the trumpet but i need to start practicing more😭 i think it's fun though, i've been playing since i was little because it was the instrument i picked in like 4th grade and i couldn't switch

but i have to say all the jokes about trumpet players are true LMFAOAOAO literally i've only been friends with 4 people i've played trumpet in school with and 3 out of 4 of them suck😭 the 4th one moved and i was so sad bc she was so nice, she was the only person i was okay with sitting second chair to in middle school😭 but the stories i have about some of the other ones👀 like i feel like most things people say about people who play specific instruments are true bc generally brass players really are just... exactly what you'd think based on what people say😭😭

and the deer episode is really weird but it's in season 3 i think so by the time you get there you're used to weird episodes it's just a little weirder than normal

but my teacher isn't checking that project until the whole thing is due so i just have to make sure i keep up😎

my only teacher that really knows me and talks to me a lot is my band teacher bc depending on what classes you take you might not end up with the same teachers but there are only a few music teachers so unless you switch you'll have the same one, so i've had him for all my band classes and he's super nice, people will go to cry in his office and stuff like that😭 and he won't let you skip class to just hang out but if you come and play, or have a lunch or study hall he lets you stay in the band room. last year there was a lot of band kid drama™️ and i would go in his office and be like "you know what your students did today?" and i remember he checked in with me about a year ago when this girl was joining bc he knew we weren't on good terms and wanted to make sure i was alright(she happens to be one of the trumpet players from before😭) but he's great he's probably my favorite teacher

and my math teacher stopped making the videos for a bit because he would make the video for the lesson but everybody was failing stuff😭 so he stopped making them unless it was going over a specific homework question, but he's been making actual assignments for the videos and only posting them once a week so it's annoying but not as hard

and my day was pretty good, i facetimed my uncle and talked to him for a little bit, but i'm glad your day was better! and i will be staying tuned to find out if you're the new virgin mary😭 but how was today, how are you? how are your classes going? -🍓

that’s so cool tho??? god i think the trumpet is a GREAT instrument. strawberry how does it feel to be amazingly talented. please tell me.

LMAOOO THAT SOUNDS KINDA FUNNY THO CMENXJWKSK feel free to tell me some of your stories!!! i’d love to hear them!!! i have no idea what brass is i’m gonna search the translation for that LMAOOO FMSJXKWKSK UGH WHAT’S THE POINT OF BEING BILINGUAL WHEN IT JUST MEANS IM ILLITERATE IN 2 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES

that sounds concerning omg do i even want to know????

yes strawberry go strawberry get that GPA YESSS

that’s,,,, so cute. it’s so nice that you guys have this freedom with your teacher??? god i love that!!!! i’m so happy you have a good role model like that ugh AMAZING THAT’S WHAT YOU DESERVE it’s great that he cares so much about his students that’s beautiful incredible show stopping and all teachers should be like that no cap

EYE— PFFT CLWKXKWKZO NGL YOUR MATH TEACHER SOUNDS A BIT LIKE A REALLY ANNOYING GUY BUTTT OKAY OKAY but i’m glad he’s figuring out how to actually do the videos thing!!! that truly sounds way more productive than..... whatever he had going on before LMAO

that’s nice!!! are you close to your uncle???

i am not virgin mary 🙌 my period was late but it happened. things are okay 🙌 LMAOOO i’ve been alright!!! i have no more classes anymore and my high school graduation is tomorrow which is CRAZY because me??? not being at school??? what am i gonna do now???? goddamn KFKWKXKWO LMAOOO i’m a bit stressed out about that and the fuck there’s no more class has made me kinda lazy regarding studying LMAOOO WHICH I STILL NEED TO DO BECAUSE OF COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAMS BUT UGGHH SO BORING but yes i’m. stressed. but okay! i’m alright! a bit overwhelmed maybe? and like, emotionally tired? but okay. i hope LMAO

how was your day??? how have you been??? sorry for the late response!!!

[lesbeet]

hi! I saw u said u were going to be an english teacher and I'm in my first year of university studying English lit. I was wondering if u did any teaching assistant work or got any experience in teaching whilst at uni? and if you did how did you find it? I rly think teaching might be for me but I'm kind of not confident lol n the thought of actually pursuing is a bit intimidating to me bc im so shy.

so i do have a fair amount of like informal and unofficial teaching experience, all of which i gained between finishing my undergrad and beginning my masters (i did an online program that allows you to progress at your own pace, so it took me 6 months to do my undergrad which i finished in feb 2016, and i started my masters this past july and will most likely have it done by summer of 2020, and i hope to be student-teaching for real this time next year [NO EVIL EYE]

between the two programs i spent over a year as a substitute teacher in the schools where my parents teach (my mom is a middle school sped teacher and my dad is a hs science teacher), i spent a year teaching english in israel and just got back this past june, and i work as a sunday school teacher (and also staff the testing center at my dad’s high school)

but i’ll still have to student-teach and everything, like i said hopefully this time next year [NO EVIL EYE!!!!!]

i totally totally get being nervous about it bc of a lack of confidence - literally anyone who knows me well will tell you i have like the lowest self-esteem of anyone they’ve ever met lmao i hate getting up in front of people, i hate making mistakes in front of people, etc

but kids are kids. i teach 5th graders in sunday school, work with high schoolers all day, taught 4th-6th graders in israel, subbed for all grades between 7-12, and before that was a camp counselor for kids from grades 6-11. they’re all different, but they’re all kids!

not in the “kids aren’t real people” way, but in the sense that you, as someone older whose brain has finished developing and are in a different stage in life, have more knowledge and experience and perspective, meaning you can’t take their judgments as objective facts! 

it always sucks when kids don’t like you or don’t listen, but it’s so important to remember that it’s not personal. think back to your own behavior when you were a kid, and the behavior of other kids you knew, think of what they were going through and why they acted the way they did, and how their teachers might have perceived it without that context

sometimes they really are just shits, or are really judgmental, or cruel, or uncooperative, or disrespectful, etc, and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it other than try your hardest not to let it negatively impact the other students

but sometimes that can clue you in that maybe the kid is struggling with something, and showing a little bit of sensitivity might encourage them to open up to you or, at the very least, not feel the urge to take it out on you because you were kind to them

once you really start to internalize that (and it’s not perfect, some days it’s really hard for me not to take everything as a slight against my personality or my teaching abilities, esp with rejection-sensitive dysphoria lmao) it becomes easier to be yourself in front of the students, because they intimidate you less

it’s like that thing they say about bugs and whatever about how “it’s more afraid of you than you are of it” that totally applies to most students, and some of them act on that “fear” by acting out almost preventatively so if you ever call them on something they’ve done they’ve already decided they don’t care about you, so it won’t hurt them and they won’t have to take the critique seriously bc they can blame it on you being shitty because they don’t like you

honestly just think back to your favorite teachers, the traits they possessed that made you like them, trust them and their judgment and knowledge. it could just be me, but i loved the ones who were human. i had some who kept pretty much their entire selves from us, they were 900% prim and proper and professional at all times, and most of the time they were competent teachers. but i never developed relationships with them, which meant i was pretty indifferent to them, or i flat-out disliked them.

i loved the teachers who had a sense of humor, who were open and honest -- not even necessarily about their personal lives, but explaining their thought processes, telling us when they made a mistake about something so we understand adults make mistakes too -- it just humanized them to me and made them into people i wanted to listen to, people i trusted, and i was always more engaged in those classes 

it’s definitely scary, espeically when youre shy! but, like also it just gets more and more true the younger you go with grades, elementary school kids won’t judge you at all, middle schoolers will but they wont be as harsh, are easier to please, and are more obvious than high schoolers about showing that they still need you, high schoolers will be the most judgmental but will also form the deepest connections and make conscious decisions to perform well for teachers they like

i’m high right now so literally i don’t even know what i just said basically but it’s true, i hope it made some sort of sense, please be a teacher!!

[wandas-luvr]

Okay if we’re being real I am actually a PlayStation gamer and I only even still use my switch cus it’s portable 😔 so I only play overcooked, mario kart, and as of like last week I play cult of the lamb!! Which I’m super enjoying and I’m happy abt that bc I could not get into stardew or animal crossing but this one I vibe with

Code class was fine today thankfully!! Just a bunch of filler since my prof is actually only here temporarily and he doesn’t want to take up too much of the material from the next one so we just watched a video about door handles and exit signs

The rangers sound… interesting. No clue what a 4 seed is but that does not sound very good??? but the iPad incident is very funny and I will admit they definitely get points for that

Niners have been pretty solid recently so I’m happy with them and I’ve also been following them since I was capable of comprehending what football even is so I can’t switch it up now. Also the jets?? Why 😭 gotta give them credit bc they have a good green on their uniforms tho !! Fuck Brady all my homies hate Brady. When is that man going to retire holy hell. Also I don’t really follow baseball that much bc it’s kinda boring but I’m obligated to say I’m a giants fan bc Bay Area however I was obsessed with Jackie Robinson as a kid so I’m like mildly into the dodgers but obviously they aren’t in Brooklyn anymore so fuck the dodgers 😔 (but also they have cooler/better looking merch than the giants… it sucks being a giants fan and hating their color palette bc fuck blue and white is so much better than orange and black 😩 ) Alsoooo how are your classes going so far?? - 🦈

Double also, should I get electric berry or laser cat tmrw at dutch bros 🤔 and wtf do u get at Starbucks???? That place scares me

honestly that's a girlboss move of you, i have a playstation and a switch as well and i definitely use my playstation more lol. but omg my favorite switch game is animal crossing and i play started on my ps 🥲🥲 (i'm also the best mariokart player literally ever not to brag (perks of growing up with 3 super competitive brothers lmao))

that's good then!! i'm glad it was bearable!

so "seeding" is like a ranking so being a "4 seed" team is sort of like being in 4th place. they base your seed off of how well you did during your season, and there are 8 seeds in the nhl. so 4 seed is pretty middle of the road. (bye i'm so bad at explaining things i'm almost positive this doesn't make sense)

and yes i think about the ipad incident so often i love it sm (i'm not even like a huge kreider fan but i can admit that that was the most wonderful thing to ever happen)

that's good then! i know they definitely were not as good before, i've heard so many people shit on them 🥲🥲 but good for you for hometown pride! and the jets bc i honestly don't watch that much nfl to have backup favorite teams so i had to go with my hometown and they've been better than the giants recently

also omg okay i'm not like huge into baseball (by that i mean i have very limited knowledge, also supplied from my brothers), so idk if i have a fav??? i kinda like the padres ig?? they're the only team i relatively keep up on just bc my roomate loves them 😭😭 (lmao that's fair the giants color palette definitely needs some improvement)

they're pretty good!! i'm like fully booked at the moment (i basically took the mac amount of credits i could) bc i'm trying to finish undergrad early and i am definitely a little stressed (double majoring was not the smartest decision i could've made) 😭

also i am partial to Blue so electric berry !!! and it depends on my mood! my usual is a dirty chai latte with 3 shots of espresso, oatmilk, four pumps of vanilla, and sweet cream cold foam! but if i'm not in the mood for coffee i get a strawberry açaí refresher no berries with lemonade and a splash of passion tea :)

[merrrrrrrrry]

Hellloooooo. It’s your holiday pal back at it. this week has been hectic. i’m sorry for just now getting around to really reading your reply and responding!! but anyways how was your week? ❄️❤️

winter months DO feel like the rusting of the body and mind tbh. i feel more burnt out and just mentally and physically exhausted than i have all year. it’s been a pain to motivate myself to do anything. hate you know that struggle too rip maybe it’ll get warmer so you can go on more walks x i used to love morning walks but i haven’t gotten up early enough to take them as much as i’d like 😔

plastic trees are fun!! they’re a lot less hassle too as you know exactly what to decorate them with and you don’t have to worry about them toppling over or having an allergy to them. my family used to do plastic trees and my mom would actually just take it and shove it in the guest bedroom no one stays in all decorated after the holidays so she could just simply place it back in the living room when december rolled back around lmao

the live tree my family has this year is different than the usual tree and i’ve been allergic to it unfortunately. very itchy all over anytime i’m in the same room with it for very long. it’s pretty!! but at what cost haha

shdjdkdk that’s so funny about listing louis off with the birthdays this month. i do that too! my birthday is this one actually and i always lump louis in there with those i know who have december birthdays like i’m an actual friend of his in real life lmao i wish *daydreams softly*

ooo all those desserts sound delicious. i’ve never tried most of them and when looking them up they looked incredible. i would love to try some jaggery rosogolla :) i wish i had a bigger sweet tooth! i tend to like more bitter sweet things like dark chocolate, but there is definitely something about buffet desserts that just look and taste better so i agree with having a plate full of nothing but desserts at a buffet!

ooo christmas movies. i think home alone 2 is a good one. the grinch is a classic. and i love rudolph. i’m also a big fan of the christmas chronicles surprisingly (the only modern christmas movie i’ve ever really enjoyed tbh). Elf is also one i enjoy. and then i watch christmas vacation with my parents every year! have you seen any of those? ❄️

i think my best gift was probably a big frame of old vintage vinyl sleeves my mom put together for me from record labels that existed from the 60s-70s-80s. i still have it in my bedroom. it was one of the coolest and most thoughtful gifts given. how about you? ❤️

music recs! hmm! i absolutely love japanese breakfast and beabadoobee. check them out if you haven’t x any music recs for me? 👀

also the pun “utter majesty” about the lovely fella in the middle of the road. EXCELLENT CONTENT.

hope you’re well!!! ❄️

My week's been okay. I've finally been able to start walking again. I started again on the 4th or 5th day of my periods. But the lethargy still abounds akdbkks

Rusting is such an apt word what with all the skin peeling off akdjk. I thankfully don't have any allergies that I know of but who knows what i discover in the future. Maybe I'll turn out to be allergic to pine after all, I've neve been exposed to it I think.

I don't want Louis to be friend really. I won't deny that it'd be probably cool but I don't really want rhat. But it's still ridiculous that I think of him and H enough that I mention their names like it's just another person I know and not someone I get some peripheral knowledge about akdbakak. What must it feel like to them, to be a part of so many lives and minds, feels unbelievable just to us sitting in the sidelines

I don't like very sweet stuff. I always prefer dark chocolate but I'm open to having sweeter indian desserts simply because we have so little amounts at a time. We all have a tendency of taking maybe 2 bites of one rosogolla a day and then keeping it for later madbk. And yeah, for cakes and mousse and other western desserts, i usually don't like it when they're too sweet.

I don't think I've watched any of those except home alone but that's just due to Me seeing very few movies in general. But Grinch has been recommended to me as well as nightmare before christmas so I'll try to get to those

I haven't received gifts in a long time actually. It's usually just items of convenience and use. Family giving newer clothes that are required. My brother did contribute to giving me my first phone along with my parents last year so that counts i guess

I don't know either of those artists so I'll check them out and let you know how it goes. But I've just been listening back to Troye Sivan in the last 2 days

Thank you, i aim to please😘, here's another

Hope you've been having a wonderful day 💕💕💕