#I'm actually losing my mind over this character and we haven't even met him yet!

[the-gentler-gamester]

This is UNACCEPTABLE

[arrow90-alrakis]

9 Ship Songs

Thank you sm for the tag!! @dujour13

For Larksharius & Rimerock! Their love story and lore. :3

I don't have 9 songs yet, and some of these are their character theme songs. I will share the lore with the songs, here we go! ^^

Link to the Playlist (the order of songs follows their story timeline)

1. Lost at Sea - Rob Grant, Lana Del Rey

Pov Lark. Timeline before they met Ri in Lost Chaple again (their second encounter).

Once you told me Look for the North Star Then you'll see Heavenly, I hear Found my way to the beach There were waves over me I was lost at sea 'Til you found me, 'til you found me ... I was found lost at sea

As I mentioned before, Lark falls unconscious when they overused their power and exhaust their soul&body to an extreme. Their soul is forced out of their body to the bank of the River of Souls. They will perish if their soul can't wake up and get back to their body in time.

Lark carries a radiant scale (fallen from Ri when he rescued the sinking ship hundreds of years ago. Lark was a small boy on the boat. It's their first encounter). Whenever Lark is unconscious, the scale glow and radiant coldness to wake them up. It's a North Star, glowing even at the darkest part of the river, guiding the lonely soul back home.

(Their love story is a hundreds years long Lost & Found.)

*My art is still a wip! Lark's soul wanders on the bank of the River of Souls.*

2. Windswept - Crywolf

Pov Ri. Timeline before he met Lark in Lost Chaple.

Ri's gold dragon mentor Mirikshul was killed. He missed her too much, and suffered from severe corruption.

(I only love the loneliness and desperation in this song. Most of the lyrics don't mean anything. Ri never loved Mirik in a romantic way. )

But in my head I am still there I can still feel you Breathing slow I've known this dream for a long time In the air Suspended here With thousands of words we've spoken Can I soar Up through the clouds Leave all of this behind ... All alone I feel your breath I hear your whispers Dark like storms Telling me, "Dear, I'll never leave your mind."

3. The Beach - Wolf Alice

Pov Lark. Timeline when Lark (still a lich) visits the Osirian deity Set in its realm.

Imagine the song starts with the two bargaining.

(1: 55) is the time when Set's scythe cuts through Lark's body and soul. The blade cut off their 50+ years of existence as a lich. The process only took a second, but it feels like actual 50+ years because Lark has to experience these times again and made their way out.

Set and related lore here, for those who haven't seen my Egyptian deity with 2 dog heads. :3

Pressed in my palm Was a stone from the beach The perfect circle Gave a moment of peace Now I'm lying on the floor Like I'm not worth a chair I close my eyes and imagine I'm not there

4. Surrounding - CHPTRS

Pov Ri. Timeline after the two meet again. They built trust and love slowly kicks in.

Lark enchanted the radiant scale and return it back to Ri as a necklace. It helps him maintain a clear mind from corruption madness. (but nothing can cure the corruption, Ri is still dying.)

By now I'd be gone but You found me, you found me I now know the love that's Around me, Around me And the people surrounding me In the face of the worst in me Don't lose hold of me now I'm barely hanging on Don't go far from me now I'm barely holding on somehow

5. Obvious - CHPTRS

Pov Ri. Timeline after the two meet again, Chapter 5. Right before Ri's ritual to become a dracolich (hopefully an arch dracolich, the ritual is special, reinvented by Set).

The two now accepted the fact they love each other. If Ri can make it through the ritual, they will officially be lovers. Lark feeds the Potions of Dracolich Transformation to Ri in a long kiss. This is their first kiss too, Lark is saying please come back to me, don't die, I love you.

If I'm not swinging, then the war is won Caught beforehand Falling forward All in front of us Light bestowed The heavens open Was it obvious? Isn't it obvious? You were right in front of me With the answer

At the end of Windswept, the lyrics are "Are you still my answer/To the question I've asked since I was born". Ri was seeking his answer, and now he found it.

6. End of the Earth - MARINA

Pov, Ri & Lark. Timeline after Ri's successful ritual and the crusade ended. Now the two stick together forever, planar travel everywhere.

(also thanks to Blackstar, Ri ascended. The divine power let his body capable to run almost in the same way as a living dragon. He can eat, sleep, and do whatever he wishes to.)

Lark:

Do you ever think how this life could've been? If you never took the chance A leap of faith and danced with losing it all

Both:

But I'll give my love, I don't care if it hurts 'Cause I'll love you 'til the end If we're torn apart then I won't let go 'Cause wherever we are it feels like home ... 'Cause I'll love you 'til the end of the earth

Anyone who'd like to do this plz consider yourself tagged! ^^

[tolkien-feels]

Caranthir or Celebrimbor for the ask game, in the unlikely event they haven't been requested yet. :-) Otherwise, Brandir the Lame.

None of them have, actually!

I was going to do all three, but C&C ended up so long that I thought better of it. But if you still want Brandir send me another ask and I'll happily do him as well!

Caranthir

Sexuality Headcanon: Aro. But his actual sexuality I'm very fluid with and change depending on my mood. Today I'm feeling like homo, but honestly that changes so often.

Gender Headcanon: Cis as in "would get a headache thinking about gender"

A ship I have with said character: None, I don't think? I actually don't think I ship any of the sons of Feanor with anyone, now that I'm doing the math

A BROTP I have with said character: His family. Not as in "oh, he's so lonely" but as in "professional relationships are all he really wants or needs outside of his family." I will highlight Maglor, though, who is my ultimate Caranthir brotp

A NOTP I have with said character: "Notp" is too strong a term, but maybe Haleth? I deeply enjoy their relationship being strictly business, so making it romantic loses the appeal it has to me. Oh, and his canon (?) spouse. I dislike the idea of Caranthir being married.

A random headcanon: I don't think I've mentioned this before even though it's a major headcanon of mine, but I actually headcanon Caranthir is... neurodiverse. Closest thing we have to what I headcanon is autism, but I headcanon elves have different expectations for neurotypical behavior and this affects how they conceptualize neurodiversity as well.

General Opinion over said character: My boy, my son, I love him. I think he's much more complicated than people tend to give him credit for and I appreciate every fan who helps push the "Let Caranthir be complicated!!!" agenda

Celebrimbor

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi for no reason other than I'm bi and want to claim him, but he has the elven gene where he's fallen in love once when he was young and never will look at anyone again

Gender Headcanon: Confused™. He thought he was cis but hanging out with dwarves has him rethinking the concept of gender at least once a week. He uses male words to refer to himself in all elven languagues, but neutral in Khuzdul. So... he/they, in English, I guess?

A ship I have with said character: Galadriel and Celeborn, kind of. In my mind, he's (openly) in love with Galadriel and is very close to Celeborn, as well as being a major part of ; functionally, they're in qp relationship, but that's probably not how they would label themselves even if they had this exact dynamic in a modern au. Apart from that (not in the same universe as the former, which is my primary headcanon), I've been shipping Celebrimbor and Gil-galad since I was in high school, for the political drama of it all. Recently I've been thinking Celebrimbor/Orodreth would be a hot mess and should happen.

A BROTP I have with said character: Any. Has Celebrimbor met this person? I brotp ship them. I literally can't list even those I actively seek out content for, because again, it's everyone.

A NOTP I have with said character: Annatar. I like Annatar preying on Celebrimbor's family-shaped wound much more than I like the idea of them as a ship. Otherwise... none?

A random headcanon: His party trick is taking notes with both his hands simultaneously. Different notes. Even among elves, that's highly unusual.

General Opinion over said character: I love him, but I have so many Opinions about him that I usually skip posts about him unless I'm in the mood to engage with things that don't match my ideas.

[doodlebloo]

(if this is too discoursy for you please delete this ask, i don't mind)

I think the biggest problem with c!Tubbo killing c!Aimsey is that it felt very forced. Like, tubbo definitely has people he considers safe to be angry at. It was Tommy during new l'manburg, and it's Wilbur now, but that list stretching to someone he barely knows seems very far-fetched, since the only reason he feels safe enough to be angry at those people is that he knew that their retaliation. if there even is one, won't end up hurting him. The fight with aimsy felt very sporadic and not very well thought out from c!tubbo's end, which is pretty unlike him

^ This is an amazing point as to why it feels strange, and there are several other reasons I don't love it as well.

So the first thing that jumps out to me is that right out the gate, this is so far from logic-brain it's insane to me. c!Tubbo has always thought very objectively and logically about conflict, even and especially when his own life was on the line.

The one exception to this is conflict where c!Ranboo is involved, because he has a tendency to excuse c!Ranboo's actions even if he has evidence that c!Ranboo is probably at fault (such as his investigation of c!Tommy's prison death, he refused believe c!Ranboo was responsible even though evidence pointed to him.)

^ But the keyword about that is probably. If you remember, he didn't let c!Ranboo off the hook for betraying him during New L'Manberg, and that's because he had Hard Evidence that c!Ranboo was a traitor. The Prison Death was mostly his own speculation as far as he could tell, but with the NLM betrayal, he had it in writing.

This c!Aimsey conflict is one where he has Hard Evidence that c!Ranboo (or really Ghostboo) is at fault. c!Tubbo knows this new person has no reason to lie, and believes c!Aimsey that Ghostboo gave up the mansion. So... If he is aware that this conflict is essentially just "Ghostboo gave this new person our mansion without asking me", how do we get to a canon death from that ??? Where is his logic-brain?

Because (and this is my second point) for a long time now, c!Tubbo's character has hinged on not wanting conflict. Him exiling c!Tommy, Doomsday happening, him barely fighting his own death in the disc finale, him saving the horse in ho16... The only reason he went after c!Sam when c!Ranboo died was to get his son back, and he did lock c!Sam in the prison but he didn't kill him, something c!Tubbo had every right to do.

C!Tubbo doesn't handle conflict through violence. He never, ever has, even when things got hard. And I know that characters are supposed to evolve and change, but watching him not (technically) raise a hand against the man who killed his husband and kidnapped his son, only to kill a random person he just met right afterwards just seems so anticlimactic.

And the argument I guess could be made that it's supposed to be anticlimactic, but either way there is just no buildup to it at all imo. Maybe if he had been more cruel to c!Sam in the revengers stream, it would be showing us that he is gradually losing his kindness and humanity, but as it stands him killing c!Aimsey is completely out of nowhere for his character, because yes it's easy to assume this is a side effect of him grieving a dead loved one Yet Again but we haven't actually been given much reason to think that.

Even if the death was an accident, as in he meant to duel not to kill, I still have a hard time believing it's in character. You're telling me the person who watched his best friend in the world get a life taken in a duel over a sentimental item right after he joined... Would do that to another person? c!Tubbo, who is always comparing himself to the bad people in his life, somehow wouldn't see that he was doing something that directly parallels what c!Dream did to c!Tommy once? Or he would see and he'd be okay with it?

I'm not saying that c!Tubbo wouldn't kill someone, and to be clear, that isn't the reason I dislike this plotline. I'm not confused that he'd be violent or kill someone, I'm confused because he's been in dozens of situations where he has more than every right to be violent, and hasn't taken the violent route. So it's weird and jarring for him to suddenly act to violent to an innocent, especially right after ho16 drove home the point that c!Tubbo wants to protect innocents.

This of course is all compounded by the fact that as far as I've heard, that death was canonized by Aimsey after the fact, and that Tubbo didn't know it was a canon death. This is not Aimsey neg, and I may make another post about this, but as of late c!Tubbo's character has been dictated a lot by metagaming/questionable rp etiquette. And if cc!Tubbo is fine with that then it's fine, I'm not saying that any ccs are Bad or Ruining the character or anything like that. I just think the fact that he never intended for it to be a canon death in the first place speaks a lot to how in-character it seems.

Also, before I wrap up, I promise I have seen many many many explanations for why this makes sense in-character. Personally I like the explanation that he was trying to toughen c!Aimsey up so they'd keep up their guard. c!Tubbo has every reason to dislike newcomer's at first, because historically speaking they don't really bother to learn their history and often jump to defend the man that wants c!Tubbo dead. So the explanation that he'd duel c!Aimsey as a way of saying "Look, here's what happens on this server when you take something of someone's. They won't all be as nice as me, this is your test round," does make sense.

The only thing for me is that all of those explanations feel a lot like the fan explanations of why c!Tubbo didn't know his own son was missing - it's the fans trying to explain away a plot hole/mischaracterization caused by people canonizing things without putting in thought to how every character is affected by it.

This is just my opinion on all of this, if you like this plotline and think it makes perfect sense that is completely fine. I am not trying to say this plotline isn't canon, that it shouldn't be canon, or anything like that. The only thing I'm trying to express is that I'm personally not a huge fan of it, and thought it felt off for his character, but everyone is entitled to feel however they like about it 👍

(Also, this is not crit of any ccs. Just because I don't like a writing decision that does not mean the ccs aren't well within their rights to make that decision, these are their characters not mine. However I will be tagging character crit and the word "negativity" just so people can filter things like this out.)

[alison-anonymous]

I Want to Write a Mikayuu Series

Okay.

So um.

If you're reading this, HELLO. All of you long time ONS fans probably don't know me, but I'm Alison and I'm a hardcore Mikayuu, Mitsunoa, Gureshin, etc shipper. I've been in the ONS fandom for almost a year and dear god. The amount of people telling me that Mikayuu is queerbait is just making me really sad 😅 I'm a writer, and I'm the type of person who honestly feels like the author of a series should have the ability to choose how a story ends without influence of their readers. I mean, if it's their story, then it should be their ending, right? However, I also do have some qualms when it comes to how this "love triangle" between Yu, Mika, and Shinoa is being portrayed. This is entirely my personal opinion, but I feel like Shinoa seems to be forcing herself to love Yu. I honestly don't think she cares for him in a romantic way, but more of a very deep-rooted admiration or even envy that she's trying to convince herself to be romantic love. And Yu has said multiple times that he values Mika's life above his own, that he doesn't know what he would do without him if he were to die again (I mean the fact that he suffered seeing his best friend and potential lover die a first time was definitely scarring enough, PLEASE STOP TORTURING OUR POOR BABIES). And it's basically confirmed by now that when Mika said I love you in the manga, it was in the romantic sense. Even though I wish, I hope, I dream, and I pray that Mikayuu will become canon, I honestly can't say for certain what I think will happen. I think it could sway any way, with Mikayuu becoming canon, Yu and Shinoa becoming canon, or it being one of those ambiguous endings where it's heavily implied but nothing actually happens. And in order to make myself feel better when stuff like this happens, I tend to rewrite the entire story with the ending that I would have liked to see ;)

You're probably wondering where the hell this stranger is going with this. Well, I want to write a book. A series, actually.

One that's inspired by Seraph of the End.

Now, if you're interested in hearing me out, then feel free to keep reading. But if not, continue on with your scrolling, no hard feelings. But if you do, and I really hope that you do, give me a chance to explain.

I want to write a series inspired by Seraph of the End called Bloodsucker (working title, obviously). And this series is going to be a reimagination of ONS with an ending that I would have loved to see in the anime and manga. I plan to have three main characters (please keep in mind that I'm going to have name changes): Yuichiro, Mikaela, and a brand new character, Epic.

Now, I would begin this series a bit before the anime and I'm assuming the manga begins. I'd start with introducing our main three characters as they meet in the orphanage (yes, Epic would be a part of this orphanage as well) and how Epic and Yu try to make moves to run away only to be stopped by Mika and Akane.

I plan to include a scene between Epic and Akane where Epic tries to run out in the middle of the night only to be stopped by Akane, and this is what caused Epic to develop a crush on her (Epic is a girl btw). Then I would begin the whole shit with the vampires and how they set the world on fire and shit, but instead of the apocolypse, I'd make it so that most of the adults died in the fire while the kids were taken alive (because young blood is better and whatnot). This includes our little Hyakuya family. The directors would have tried to trade the kids lives for their own, and due to their selfishness, the vamps killed them and took the kids anyway.

This would begin my first story arc: the prewar.

Epic, Akane, Mika, and Yu would all be living under the vampires at this point along with the rest of the kids in their orphanage. I plan to include lots of moments of bonding that heavily imply Epic loves Akane even though she doesn't know it yet and Mika loves Yu, but Yu is fucking oblivious. The four begin to plot their escape, but while Mika and Akane (yes Akane too) are making deals with the vampires to help out with their family, Epic is constantly finding herself getting dragged along to visit Queen Krul. The pink haired vamp has a soft spot for her for some reason and often tells her that Epic and her family are "special" or sum shit. And she's super confused and semi grossed out. But none of the vamps ever dare to hurt her so she thinks it's fine. Then one day they all plot their escape and it's much more planned out and lengthy and less rushed than it is in the anime. Things almost seem to work out until the vampires stop them

And Mika and Akane DIE.

I know. I'm horrid.

Epic is standing here in shock as she watches the love of her life die before her and Mika BEGS for Yu to take Epic and run while they can. So while in the series only Yu survives, he obeys Mika and both him and Epic survive this. They're found by Guren (a new character I haven't come up with yet lol) and Yu is super protective over Epic, not wanting anyone to take the only piece of his family he has left (he's a fucking mess without Mika let's just be honest) and Guren ends up taking them under his wing.

Now we hit the second arc. Still with me?

The War.

Hold onto your hats everyone because this is where shit is about to get complicated. So I do plan to have a bit of a time skip into the current spot where Yu and Epic are attending school with Guren as their father figure and they've become very close. So close that Yu refuses to work with anyone else but her. They end up getting onto Shinoa Squad (obviously going to be completely different in my version) and they get put onto the battlefield. But here's the catch. Well, two catches.

Yu and Epic do have demon weapons. I do plan to try to incorporate that into this. BUT the backstory is different. I plan to make it so that the vampires obviously see the humans as fies. Insignificant things that are more playthings than threats. And they didn't want to have to deal with killing all of them, so they sent demons in their place to handle it. But the humans were able to form deals or "contracts" with the demons and therefore turned the vampires' own secret weapon against them.

Now, catch no. 2

So, Epic, Mika, and Yu aren't seraphs in this. But they are something else. I'm going to try to explain this as simply as I can, but each of them (besides Mika since he doesn't have a demon) have 3 souls inside their body:

Soul 1 is their current soul, the one that identifies as Mika or Epic or Yu.

Soul 2 is their demon soul, like what Asuramaru is to Yu.

And soul 3 is their archangel soul (I might change that name later on).

So I'm just going to come right out and say it. In this series, Epic is the villain.

Yes.

You read that right.

Epic is the villain. But she doesn't know that she is. These Soul 3s were reincarnated into the current bodies of Mika, Epic, and Ari (and I know that's not exactly how it works but screw logic this is just a fucking concept) from their lives centuries ago.

These souls existed way before vampires existed and Epic (or Essie) was very close friends with Yu (or Aytigin). Aytigin was in love with Haru (Mika) but for one reason or another, they couldn't be together. Essie wanted to do something, willing to do anything to make the two of them happy. So she made a deal that brought the vampires into creation so that Haru and Aytigin could be happy. She was willing to sacrifice everything that they stood for so that the two of them could be in love together.

She had good intentions, but of course Haru and Aytigin were furious because now the vampires were turning against the humans and they all basically died. Until they were reborn respectively, but unknowingly.

Now picking back up in the present, Yu and Epic are fighting in one of the main battles and the two are very confused when the vampires make a very deliberate attempt not to hurt Epic. They're unsure as to why, but Guren tells them not to worry about it.

Suspicious bastard.

Anyway, it's revealed finally that MIKA IS ALIVE

BUT HE'S ALSO DEAD

Yes he is a vampire. And Yu falls in love all over again upon seeing him, and after a bunch of struggling, Epic gets kidnapped. At first she gets strangled by Lacus and then she gets kidnapped by Ferid who doesn't kill her surprisingly.

Oh and uh... Ferid is nice in this. He's still a fucking creep, but he's a lot nicer than he is in the series. I plan to make Queen Krul or whoever I turn her into be the villain.

Anyway, they take Epic back to the vampire palace or whatever and Queen Krul and Epic are reunited! And Krul is the one who reveals to Epic exactly who she, Mika, and Yu are and this is what sparks Epic's fall to insanity.

I mean, she's the killer. She's the one who brought them into this world. She's responsible for every death the vampires cause.

I would go crazy too.

So, she manages to escape (partially thanks to Mika) and the two join Yu and the others again and it's revealed a second time exactly what is going on. And while no one actually blames Epic on the Shinoa Squad, that doesn't stop people like Kureto and even herself from blaming.

And this causes her demon to go haywire.

She begins losing her marbles, almost killing her teammates and trying to kill herself, all while the three begin to experience dreams or visions of their Soul 3s.

While all this shit is going on, there's heavy romance between Mika and Yu because these two lovers just got reunited and FUCK did they have glow ups but yes -

Oh. And there is another spark for Epic, even though she doesn't think she's worthy of love.

Okay. I'm just gonna say it.

Lacus falls in love with Epic. Yes. You read that correctly too.

I plan to make the two of them get trapped together at some point and they have to work together to escape. It's during this time that Epic realizes he's not all that bad and has some form of self control and he realizes that she's the most interesting thing he's ever met in this disgusting and boring life and damn do her eyes look pretty-

But yes. She forms a permanent alliance with him that he jokes about as marriage and they meet on other occassions too, but lol yes.

Anyway, blah blah blah, more fall to insanity, the Soul 3s take over their bodies on multiple occasions and there's a lot of bonding and fighting and Epic and Mika somehow manage to get some of the vampires on the human side.

And in the end, Epic and Yu basically sacifice themselves to save the human race and kill Queen Krul. It's a very rough ending I haven't quite perfected yet, but Yu has a moment like he did with the King of Salt. But though he inflicted a lot of damage, it's not enough. So while the team is worried about him, Epic takes this opportunity to fix her and Essie's mistakes.

She allows both Essie and her demon to take control of her body and dies on the battlefield. Queen Krul is eliminated. Most of the vampires are gone. The humans won.

Horray.

Epic is dead.

Kinda. Yu and Mika take her back home and this is the preview to the last arc where everyone's in the hospital and Epic's in a coma. Mika and Yu barely ever leave her side and it's only when Lacus of all people comes to visit that she fucking wakes up.

Okay. Are you still with me? Now come with me to the final arc.

The Post-War.

No my friend. It doesn't end there. Because Mika and Lacus are still vamps and life still sucks and I drank too much coffee this morning.

No it's not over yet.

So flash forward a couple years and Kureto and Crew are working as the heads of this city. Stuff is being rebuilt, people are settling down in homes, Lacus and some of the other "good" vampires find jobs, and Mika, Yu, and Epic get a house together (in case I didn't mention before, Epic is pansexual. She loved Akane dearly and I plan to include scenes where she sees her in her mind and dreams like Mikayuu so she's never truly gone, but she falls for Lacus too when he's not being a sadistic asshole). Things are going strangely when

BAM. Epic and Yu come up with a cure for vampirism.

How, you may ask? I don't fucking know, I haven't read about it in the manga yet but before we come up with an idea for it, imma say they came up with it through a spell. They share their findings with Guren and soon all vampires are being cured, most notably Mika, Lacus, and even Rene.

BUT and there's always a but, Kureto passes a new law claiming all vampires to be property. That any vampire or previous vampire or even vampire supporter/owner that tries to disobey these new laws is to be killed immediately. Now Epic and Yu are in jeopardy because their ex-vampires are in danger (Epic and Lacus have been hanging out a lot more and he's proven himself to be a decent guy. Contrary to popular belief, I headcanon him as not really knowing what to do when he actually cares about someone since he's been a heartless vamp for so long. So when he turns to Mika and begrudgingly asks him for LOVE ADVICE of all fucking things, Mika is ready to die). So basically, Mika and Lacus end up getting locked up along with the other ex-vamps (including Ferid which was a pain in the ass) and did I forget to mention that there's a proposal?

Oh yeah, Yu proposes to Mika and the blond still has yet to give him an actual answer because poor baby is still having a hard time accepting that Yu can love a "monster" like him.

But anyways, now Epic and Yu are furious and SHINOA SQUAD IS BACK IN BUSINESS. With the help of Guren and Shinya and everyone, they form a sort of rebellion and blah blah blah they manage to get Mika and Lacus and everyone out and blah blah blah they all get separated and Lacus begins to get INSANELY protective of Epic and ends up confessing his feelings to her before he nearly dies and blah blah blah did I forget to mention that I'm making Mitsunnoa and Kimizuki x Yoichi canon and blah blah blah.

Epic kisses Lacus as an instinct. Lacus kisses her again. Mika accepts Yu's proposal then almost dies AGAIN. I kill off some characters for emotional tugs and after a ton of more fighting and revenge and psychological breakings later, Kureto is killed. And Guren (or someone else haven't decided yet) is the new head of their city.

Epic, Mika, and Yu finally let Akane and the kids go. There's a lot of Shinoa Squad bonding but this is a summary so I haven't included much besides the main three. Epic and Lacus becomes canon. Mika and Yu get married. Guren and Shinya get married. Shinoa gets pregnant.

And everyone gets the FUCKING HAPPY ENDING THAT THEY ALL FUCKING DESERVE BECAUSE FUCK

I do plan to be slightly ruthless like the creator and include a lot of heartbreaking scenes, but it's going to be much different than ONS but I still want it to hold on to some core relationships.

I just want them to be happy. And I just want to make other people happy because fuck I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY

So. Yeah.

That's Bloodsucker...

So my question to you is... if I wrote this shit.

If I sat down and typed about 30 books roughly inspired by Seraph of the End and Mikayuu and Mitsunnoa and shit...

Would anyone read it?

♡ a.a.

[anobscurename]

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART XIX — masterlist

concept: you finally have had enough. the slowest of slow burns. part twenty of many.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 2,4k

warnings: you might cry; i know i did. angst.

author's note: i needed my comedic relief comfort characters for this one in the beginning tbh cause... well... you'll see. this one is for @miss-jackson500 because i haven't dedicated one to her yet and she's? amazing?!

You had wondered – for the days that followed – that if maybe the rescheduled meet-up hadn't been cut short by Anthony, if things would be different.

You came to the conclusion that all that really would've been different was that you'd know a little less.

"You're finally going to do it, huh?" Anthony grinned from across the pool table. You had, according to the original plan, all come together at the old bar where you'd first met the two. "You're going to tell him how you feel?"

"Is it a bad idea?" You asked, missing your shot. Your mind was heavily distracted, and it was showing through. You were usually wiping the floor with the duo, but now you were losing four balls to one.

"No, no, it's a fantastic idea," Anthony bent down to line up his next shot. "Tell her it's a fantastic idea, Seb. Better yet, tell me who the Black Widow should be with."

Sebastian, who had been sat to the side, waiting for his turn, rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. "I admit nothing until I see a ring."

"Speaking of rings!" Anthony jumped up excitedly – either from the prospect of marriage or the thrill of pocketing his ball, leaving team Falcon and Winter Soldier with just the black on the table – "I'm thinking a round cut two carat, set in rose gold? Colour scheme would he lavender, of course, because as best man–"

"You can get fucked if you think you're going to be best man."

"Of course I'm best man! Look at me, I'm the bestest man around, I'm fine as–"

"You can both get fucked if you think there's going to be a wedding," you laughed.

Anthony hissed a curse under his breath as he missed the winning pocket, reluctantly handing the cue off to Sebastian, who hopped off the stool to land gracefully on his feet.

You chalked your cue, determined to not lose yet another game to these dipshits. "I haven't even told him yet, what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

Anthony and Sebastian both looked at you, incredulous. "I mean this with only love, and it comes from a place deep within my heart... Are you blind?"

Sebastian was even balking. "Even I could tell, and I have the social skills of a pineapple."

"Okay, fine! You both are clearly biased, you saw us kiss."

"No, we watched a softcore porno is what we did, y'all devouring each other like that in public–"

He cut himself short, having to laughingly dodge himself out of the reach of your playful slap.

"I'm asking Scott for the final opinion," you proclaimed.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, eager to play and win the game, bouncing the end of the cue on the wooden bar floor. The rubber stop muted the noise.

You opened up the text thread you had been maintaining with the younger Evans. Should I tell Chris?

You didn't need to elaborate, Scott would know what you meant. There was a pause on his end, and you had just been about to put your phone away before his response bubbled up.

Sorry, was just changing your name in my phone to sister-in-law ;)

That was all the answer you needed.

You finished the game – you lost, mind overrun with giddiness and the odds having been stacked against you long before – and you were hugging Anthony goodbye.

When you'd asked where he was headed, he'd just given you a sly wink and a "wouldn't you like to know."

That left just you and Sebastian, and you decided to walk him back to his hotel before heading home.

"How long you going to be in L.A. for?" You'd asked, just to make conversation.

"A week or so, maybe? And then I'm jetting back to New York. I haven't been home in so long, I think the dust has taken over my lease."

You chuckled, and continued on in a pleasant silence.

You gave him a departing hug in the lobby, and hailed a cab back to Chris'.

You were so high on the exhilaration of finally telling him and ending this will they/won't they charade once and for all. So excited, you'd nearly missed the unfamiliar Bentley in the driveway on your way in.

But it didn't go unnoticed.

You came in, greeted happily by a yapping Dodger, and the smell that hit you was one of Valentino perfume – overpowering the usual scent of Chris lingering in the house.

"Hey, Dodge," you whispered, giving him a vigorous petting session. "Where's Chris? Where's your dad?"

Dodger gave your hand a wet lick, slobbering over your keys, and you laughed lightly.

The door to the pool was open, and you could hear splashing and giggling – pitched more feminine than you'd ever heard Chris go.

Curiosity killed the cat. And satisfaction was never going to resurrect the plummet of your excitement. No, that was replaced by shock and anger. Even if you knew you had no right to feel that way.

"Chris?" You'd called out as you padded across the lounge. "Chris, whose car is in the driveway? I have something I–"

Blindsided, your slobber slick keys fell from your hand to jangle uselessly onto the ground. It was that that finally grabbed his attention.

He had been otherwise excruciatingly preoccupied with the topless girl in his lap, legs locked around his waist in a languid grind, his hands smoothing over her curves as they all but explored each other's tonsils in a moaning kiss.

Red flashed across your vision as well as your cheeks, and you ducked your head. Embarrassed and feeling stupid, you quickly grabbed your keys. "I'm sorry, I'll go..."

You quickly turned and dashed to your room, ignoring the tears in your eyes, and the call of your name.

"{Your name}, wait!" Chris cried, water sloshing as he clambered out of the pool. "{Your name}!"

You slammed the door shut behind you, making it clear you wanted isolation. Pulling out a duffel bag, you began throwing clothes into it, careless of what you might need, just needing to leave.

Sebastian had asked you once how much more you were going to put yourself through before you'd had enough.

And this was it. This was the breaking point. This was enough.

The strength in which Chris frantically ripped open your door had it banging against the adjacent wall, but you couldn't even look at him. Your eyes were blurry as you continued violently packing your clothes.

You didn't even know where you were going to go. You just knew you had to. Go.

"{Your name}, stop," he said, soft in direct comparison to the panic he felt in his chest. You were leaving him. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" You spat out. And then, just to change the subject, because not even you could bare to dwell on it too much: "You're getting water on your floor."

"{Your name}–"

"Don't talk to me, Chris. Rest your tongue a bit, it sure was busy earlier."

"As was yours, too, I'm sure," he bit back.

Your movements stuttered at the reciprocated rage. To your knowledge, he had no right to feel as you did in that moment. None.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

There was provocation in his eyes, and his searing gaze only fuelled your fire.

"Have fun with Sebastian?"

Your scoff was followed by a bewildered laugh. "I went out tonight with Sebastian and Anthony, Chris. We're friends. Welcome to the world of platonic relationships, professor, we've been waiting for your arrival."

And like the cut strings on a puppet, tension left his body – anger being replaced by confusion.

"I... I thought..."

"You thought wrong, Evans," you seethed, pushing past him to the bathroom to grab your toiletries. You made an effort to bump him, your shirt sticking to your skin with the water droplets still dotting his toned body. "And to think I really thought..."

"Thought what?" His voice cracked out.

"Thought that you might actually care about me!" You finally snapped. You were yelling. You didn't want to yell, but you were, voice echoing in the acoustics of the bathroom.

"I do," he whispered. His conviction was quickly draining from him, being replaced with an inevitable sadness and feeling of loss. You hadn't even left yet, but he knew that nothing he was going to say would make you stay. He knew he'd gone too far. It didn't stop him from trying. "I loved you, {your name}. I still do."

You had hoped that if he ever was to say those words, it would be under different circumstances. In fact, you'd found yourself imagining whole sunset beach scenarios, late into the night.

"I thought you were better than that, Chris. Manipulation? That's low."

"It's true. I've loved you–"

You didn't want to hear it. You weren't going to give him the opportunity of persuading you into staying. You knew you should've left long ago. "I can't say the feeling is mutual."

It was a lie. It was a lie, because if you really had felt nothing, then you wouldn't be acting like this. But you needed the upper hand, because Chris had basically knocked you over with the force of his admittance. You couldn't let yourself be dragged back in. Not this time. You had too much self respect for that. Not when he still had lipstick smudged on his lips, disappearing into the scruff that shadowed his jaw.

You had to avoid looking at his pained expression at your words. No matter how much you were hurting now at his profession of love, you knew he might possibly be hurting a little more at your rejection.

"And if you really did..." You trailed off, struggling to say the words love me. "Well, you have a really funny way of showing it."

"Pretending not to love you is the hardest role I've taken on, and I did it for you."

Red was dancing back into your vision, your shock growing alongside the fury.

"How is that for me?"

"Because that's what you wanted!" He was finding his voice again, raising it in his desperation. "Believe me, I wanted to fight for you. I would, would wage wars for you," he stuttered out. "But you never wanted that from me. You wanted to pull away, from this, from us. And I let you because I would do anything you asked of me."

"So you stayed away because you wanted to keep me?" You worded it slowly, just to make him understand how ridiculous it sounded.

"...Yes."

"Are you stupid? Actually mentally deficient?" You zipped your bag, brushing past him again, this time making sure to have as little contact as possible. He all but occupied the whole doorway.

"If I had told you then you would have left!" He was following you now, following you to the front door. "I told you I wanted you in my life, even if it meant the pain of never having you."

You had hoped to slam the door in his face to make your point known, but where Chris had slacked in fighting for you before, he was making up for now. He caught the door before it could close, trailing after you into the driveway.

"There's something wrong with me. I ruin things. So I let you have your space because you are the greatest thing that has happened to me in a long time, and I'd be fucked if I ruined you too!"

"It's a bit too late for that," you said, finally looking him in those ocean eyes. They were bloodshot with barely restrained tears. But your resolve was iron. "Congratulations, Evans. You've ruined me."

You heard Dodger pawing at the door, whining low and long for you. If you thought leaving Chris was hard, this was what made you break.

But you turned away from them, from that house, tears falling freely. A sob escaped your lips, barely stifled.

"Put on a shirt, Evans," you managed to get out. You wanted the last word, even if it brought very little satisfaction. "You have company."

———————

Your first call was to Anthony. He hadn't picked up, and you remembered his other plans.

The second also went unanswered – the friend who had become a self proclaimed L.A. local upon graduating high school, and who had let you crash at their house when you'd first arrived. She was probably at work, and so you left her a quick voicemail asking her to call you back.

The third did, on only the second ring. You had almost lost hope in anyone else being awake at that point, so you hadn't composed yourself before he picked up.

The first thing he heard was your sob, which you quickly cut off with a greeting.

"What's wrong?"

"Can I crash with you tonight? I need somewhere to go."

"What happened? Did–?"

"I don't want to talk about it," you said quickly. He shut up almost immediately. "I just... Please?"

There was a pensive silence on the other end, and you felt the need to fill it.

"I tried Anthony, but he wasn't picking up."

"Yeah," came the small chuckle crackling on the other end. "He's got a hot date tonight. Must be going well."

"I wouldn't do this if I had anywhere else to go, but I don't, and it'll only be for one night–"

"Of course you can stay," he assured, sushing you softly. "Can't believe I made you ask twice."

————————

Sebastian met you in the lobby, taking you up to his room almost immediately to avoid strange looks and any unwanted public attention.

He explained to you in the elevator that although he had tried to get you your own room, the hotel was fully booked. He sounded quite apologetic for that.

You didn't say much, because if you spoke, you were scared you were going to start crying all over again. And you'd just managed to stop, averting your eyes from your teadstained appearance in the mirrors.

Sebastian's room was a big one, on the pricier end of all the hotel had to offer. A large king sized bed stood to one side, bedsheets twisted as if he'd clambered into it right when he'd gotten back.

There was a lounge suite to the side, looking like a set-up you'd see on the glossy pages of Architectural Digest, and although the curtains were drawn, you could see the city lights sprawling out before you through the crack.

He was still in his outfit from the bar, shirt and jeans slightly rumpled.

The television was on, playing the original Nosferatu quietly in the background.

"I'll take the couch," Sebastian offered, dropping off the bags he'd taken from you.

You declined him with a shake of your head.

"{Your name}," he said, tender, placing both his hands on your shoulders to make you look at him. "You've been through a lot tonight. Take the bed, I've got the couch."

You didn't have the strength to fight his insistence. You didn't have the strength for much any more.

When you'd gotten out the shower, dressed in your pyjamas, Sebastian finally asked you again what had happened.

You just shrugged tiredly, climbing between the cool cotton sheets.

"I just had enough."

[hotchley]

i saw your reblog of the Spencer giving Aaron a father's day card thing and i can't stop thinking about how Aaron is the father figure to the entire team now.

(yes I'm also especially thinking about that one scene of Spencer and Derek stuck in the malfunctioning lift shrieking for Aaron just because. 🥴 dad!Hotch ftw!!!!!)

i know this concept has probably been done hundreds of times already but imagine: (SORRY THIS IS GOING TO BE A REALLY LONG ASK, I deeply apologise in advance)

[tw food/eating habits, some references to murder cases because you know this is Criminal Minds, some slight spoilers for people who haven't really watched the show and also reference & mention of autism & a character on the autism spectrum -> just a heads up, a disclaimer, I'm in no way diagnosed with autism, so if i have misrepresented autism, or made any mistakes, i apologise, it wasn't my intention, and i welcome all feedback & criticism — i genuinely want to learn]

a year after Spencer joins the BAU, Aaron notices & becomes very concerned over Spencer's (super bad) eating habits aka him only drinking coffee and forgetting to eat actual proper food when he gets absorbed in cases or research or reading etc -> which results in Aaron absolutely being like "hey Spencer let's grab lunch together" almost everyday just so Spencer eats (healthy, full meals)

(also Spencer picking up on this after Aaron "casually" gets him lunch/treats him to dinner/invites him over for meals for almost every day of the week and he was initially almost irritated/offended until he realised he could use Aaron's habit to make Aaron himself eat properly too because this hypocritical bastard doesn't eat properly himself either so every alternate day you can see Spencer purposely not going for lunch breaks while sneaking glances at Aaron's office just waiting for him to notice and drag them both to lunch together 😌)

also I really think Spencer is on the autistic spectrum (high functioning, imo, but I'm not really sure how this works, and I'd have to do more research) so I'd like to imagine Aaron knows that too because he's noticed Spencer's behaviors + Spencer got an official diagnosis and told him about it maybe 6-7 months into joining the BAU so I really think Aaron lets Spencer stim (physically, his hand gestures) on their lunch break because he knows that Spencer can't really do that in front of the others, so even when they're on cases, he would take Spencer out either for a private lunch or dinner or something, just the two of them, and he'd let Spencer stim & talk about any subject of his fancy as much as he wants to (I'm pretty sure someone wrote a fic like this and I absolutely can't remember the name or the author but I really LOVED the idea too)

initially Spencer was really taken aback too, because you know, this isn't something you do with your boss, of all people, but Hotch had always meant what he says and his facial expression and body language suggested that he was being absolutely sincere and serious about this, so Spencer tentatively started talking, and as their meal progressed, he eventually got comfortable enough to just go on, and not once did Aaron cut him off rudely, until the end of their meal, when Aaron couldn't continue to pretend to drink his soup because he'd finished it somehow with those incredibly small spoonfuls, and he'd had to gently tell Spencer that they had to go back, but Spencer wasn't upset, because he'd just got over an hour to talk about this recent seminar about the connection of ancient Greek mythology to the developments of the society in ancient Greece which no one had ever done for him before and he's full, satisfied and beyond elated because Hotch really didn't have to do this, but he did anyways

at first it was just something between them but eventually Derek noticed & like in the end I think it's a kind of open secret between Aaron, Spencer & Derek and now when Derek notices Aaron doing it he gives Aaron a small nod and he wards off & deals with the questions that the others have when they inevitably notices the private meals Aaron & Spencer has

speaking of Derek, Aaron definitely has 1 on 1 time with Derek too, but doing different things. Derek's thing is sports & home renovations, and he repairs/maintains cars & bikes when he can, and I like to imagine Aaron knowing about his hobbies and casually asking Derek about the home renovation he's working on one time (before or early S1) Derek came into his office to submit a case file, and Derek being kind of shocked/caught by surprised initially (because he knows Hotch has a soft spot for the kid because he's much younger and much, much more inexperienced but Derek's older and should know better, so Hotch won't do the whole private lunch thing with him, right?) but then he grins and starts telling Aaron about how "I got that place absolutely shining right now, man" and then he invites Aaron over to take a look at the place out of courtesy/habit (his mama raised him as a good, polite young man, and no way Hotch would even say yes right?) and to his surprise once again, Aaron does accept his invitation

after that one time, Aaron begins casually asking him about his projects and even starts offering to help him do some of the painting and decorating (to be fair, it calms Aaron too, to have a getaway from Haley and initially from the crying baby, because while he absolutely loved Haley and Jack with all his heart, some days, some days he just couldn't take it, all the stress from Strauss and from trying to be a good father unlike his own, and he had to take some time off to himself, and painting walls is calming and therapeutic to him in some sense) & Derek and Aaron start bonding over hotdogs while sitting out on the front porch of some halfway remodelled house, talking about the latest sports news (they support different baseball teams but that's okay, because Derek gets to grin at Hotch and ask him to pay up when Hotch's team loses to his, and Aaron gets to raise his eyebrows with that small knowing smirk of his and ask Derek to "complete this by the next weekend, will you" when Derek's team loses to his)

when Aaron recruits Penelope, he's read her file, or what little the FBI's cyberteam got on her anyways. he knows the Black Queen's reputation, and he knows that the cyberteam really don't trust her and recommended high levels of surveillance, but the moment he saw her through the glass of the interrogation room and her resume & application on pink paper, he knew that she's not just what the file said she is. initially, she sticks to the "bureau regulated office attire" because you know, Penelope knows she's lucky, she should've been jailed for what she did, she was jailed, until this Aaron Hotchner guy decided, somehow, that she was deserving to be on his team, even after looking at her resume, which she had written on pink paper out of pure spite (because nothing in the FBI rulebooks said anything about submitting your application on specialized coloured paper anyways) but she was moody and unhappy because she's stuck in this tiny office having to answer the phone whenever agents called to ask for details on icky, gruesome murders and disgusting, vile murderers so she decides that hey, since no one ever comes in here anyways, she might as well do some re-decorating right? so she starts bringing in her own soft toys and figurines and starts amassing a whole collection of soft, plushy, and colourful toys in because it's her office and if she has to deal with all these yucky stuff on a daily basis she's going to make it at least bearable to be in here

one day, some tall, stern looking guy just comes into her office with this Tupperware in his hands saying "hey, Garcia right? my wife made some extra cupcakes for the team, you want some?" and she asks "do i know you?" and he blinks, stands there for one, two seconds before- "sorry, i forgot we haven't actually met. Special Supervisory Agent Aaron Hotchner, assistant unit chief of BAU Team 1, nice to meet you," [i like to headcannon that before Boston & all, Hotch was Gideon's assistant, some kind of assistant unit chief probably, but while he wasn't yet the unit chief he was definitely taking care of most, if not all of the administration matters i.e. hiring new agents etc already because let's be real Gideon is caring & capable but really hands off sometimes (also in S1E1 Derek referred to Gideon as their Unit Chief so I assumed Hotch took over the position full time, officially somewhere between S1E1 and S1E2 or 3)]

and then Garcia's brain kind of short-circuits because holy shit this is her BOSS, aka the guy who somehow, crazily looked at her resume and decided to HIRE her and she just asked him if she knew him OH GOD ALL THOSE FIGURINES- and she tries to explain because she really didn't mean to break any rules with them and they aren't, are they? and she can remove them but just, please, she can't go back to prison.

but then Agent Hotchner just goes "hey, hey, Penelope. it's fine. I understand. this is your office, and you have the right to decorate it. I'm not going to fire you over.... My Little Ponies? and uh, some unicorns?" and Penelope can't help but laugh because he genuinely looks baffled by her collection on her desk, and did he just call her Penelope?

and after that, once, after a bad case that Aaron knew affected Penelope (it involved murdered parents & their only child left orphaned and it just hit too close to home for Penelope), he stopped by a local toy shop and bought the brightest, most sparkly, most colourful thing he could find in there (it ended up being a small figurine of a princess on a small, detachable throne that could light up and play some really funky pop music. Aaron cringed internally as he brought it over to the counter, and awkwardly nodded as the cashier asked, "buying this for your daughter, sir? she's going to love it, it's the latest in a collectable series" and he pretended to not see the questioning eyebrow that Derek gave him after seeing the package) and when he presented it to Penelope when they got back, he got the biggest and most bone crushing hug ever from Penelope because "aw that's so sweet, thank you! and you got me the latest in the collection! it's limited edition!" and it just ended up becoming a tradition — Penelope always looks forward to the end of a case now, not only because that means her people are coming home, safe, in one piece (sometimes debatable but still, they're coming home, to her) but it also means that Hotch has brought her yet another tiny figurine or souvenir to add to her collection and she can't wait to see what it is, and Hotch always, always, finds the time after they've wrapped up the case, before the jet leaves, to pop by a local toy shop to get both Penelope and later, when he's older, Jack some toys or souvenir from wherever state he's in, because he wants both of them to know, that despite all the bad out there, there is still good in the world, and they should never forget that

OKAY this ask is SUPER LONG already i apologise skfjsk i have ideas for JJ & Emily but idk if you'd even wanna continue reading them... (maybe.... give me a sign and I'll send another ask and write it? 🥴)

anyways this was just something that came up and i had to write it out 🥺 sorry for spamming you, i hope you're having a great day/night ahead.

- 🌙

Hi so I'm putting everything below the cut for scrolling purposes x

He is!!

Oh my god, I love that scene. It came up in a TikTok about ships, because Person A and Person B are both very smart when they're alone, but put them together and it cancels out, and it made me laugh.

I also love Dad Hotch. Like I love him as much as I love "fighting to keep his emotions in check because he needs to be a leader, but you can tell from the slight change in tone, or the slight glaze of his eyes that he's seconds away from crying" Hotch. Which is saying something.

DON'T APOLOGISE FOR LONG ASKS!! That's what the keep reading on posts is for :))

Oh I love how much Hotch cares about Reid, and of course Reid uses it to his advantage to get Hotch to do the same, because they're similar in that way. Also, he would definitely start grinning when Hotch looks down at his empty plate like: oh. Platonic Hotchreid is everything to me, because it's these two people that have been caretakers their entire life trying to look after another person that wouldn't let anyone do that and it's just... the HOTCH ANGST POTENTIAL THAT IS SO UNTAPPED!!!

Also, not a criticism of you, but from what I've heard from people is that functioning labels are harmful and shouldn't be used because it misrepresents the situation!

I love that idea though!! And Derek being protective over them so he's just like: no, you won't interrupt them, and I will take control of the situation for a few hours AAH!!

OH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT MORGAN AND HOTCH BONDING!! It's so perfect!! I love the idea of Morgan teaching Hotch to do things, and Hotch realising how relaxing he finds it to do these things.

And because we can't have nice things: he refuses to go after Foyet breaks into his apartment because he doesn't deserve peace, but then Morgan just uses his key, drags him out, takes him to a house and presses a brush into his hand because he's not going to let his friend self destruct like this.

EVERYTHING ABOUT GARCIA!! OH MY GOD!! I need to get some work done, so I'm going to finish up there, but seriously!! Amazing!! I love the idea of Hotch getting her little figurines and stuff <33

(shameless self promo, she does the same for him in "and he will come back home" hehe)

I would love to hear the Emily and JJ ones!! I hope that's the sign you need :)

Don't apologise for spamming I was having a dull day, and I hope you have a good day too!

[thatsweetsexypsychotroyotto]

I'm Not a Bad Person- Chapter 5

SUMMARY: Troy Otto does have feelings you know. He's in the process of figuring them out; especially when it comes to his childhood friend, Jaymie. Whatever they are, they're rooted deep; and they're growing.

WARNINGS: Language

WORD COUNT: Fuck if I know.

PAIRING: Troy Otto x OFC

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My plan is to follow along with the events of season 3, but with my OFC involved. I'll veer off plenty of times and probably switch shit up completely. Not sure yet. We'll be exploring different characters' perspectives throughout the series. I'm not great at this writing thing but I try my best. Hope you like it enough. All characters except my OFC don't belong to me.

*******

Chapter 5

(Jaymie's POV)

After the dramatic event of Nick having Troy at gun point, I didn't want to leave Troy's side. I mean, we're normally together a lot anyway, but now I have this innate need to be there to watch his back. I couldn't handle it if anything bad happened to him.

I've been sleeping on the Ottos' couch; even though Troy and Jake both offered to give their beds up for me- such gentlemen. Neither the boys nor Jeremiah seemed to mind my additional presence one bit- especially Troy. In fact, last night he came back downstairs after his dad and Jake went to bed. He was so damn cute in his black basketball-type night shorts and his High On Fire t-shirt. I was already melting.

"Can I take this bandage off my eye yet?"

"What, you don't wanna play Pirates of the Caribbean anymore?"

"Smartass."

I gave a half-suppressed laugh. "So is that what you came down here for?"

He looked at the floor with a smile and shook his head. "No, no I didn't." Then he bit his lip just a little as he looked back up at me. "Wanna watch a movie?"

After my stomach flipped like a pancake due to him bringing extra attention to his lips, I perked up like a puppy whose owner had just come home. "Yeah! That'd be great!" It'd be beyond great actually. "And we'll end your pirate adventure so you can see it better."

Troy let me choose what movie we'd watch. I'm certain he regretted that, because he groaned when I picked "Warm Bodies."

"That's such a chick flick, Jayms."

"Did you really just use the term 'chick flick'?" His eyebrows got sarcastic with me. "What? It's appropriate for the current state of the world. Plus there's plenty of shooting." Now he blinked sarcastically. "Hey. You let me pick. You can't take that back."

His smile was brilliant when he laughed. "Put it in, dork."

I put the disc in the player. "You know you just called me a whale's penis, right?"

"Guess you're a giant dick then."

We busted up laughing over that one.

During the previews I took his patch off; although he totally could've done that himself.

"How's it look?"

"Pretty gnarly actually," and kinda sexy in a fucked up way. The entire brief period I was checking out his eye, I kept glancing down at his lips. That was a mistake; all I could think of now was kissing him.

So, we sat on the couch together, each of us on our own respective cushions, as we watched one of my favorite movies. The scene where R and Julie were running from the bonies had just been on. They were cornered on a balcony. Then R enveloped Julie in his arms and fell backwards into the pool with her. His head hits the bottom and he's thought to be dead. He kept her safe, just as he had been promising from the beginning.

I started tearing up (that scene gets me every time). I felt Troy staring at me. I met his gaze with a crooked smile to find that he sported one too. We both laughed at me for getting emotional over a film that I've seen more than ten times already.

Troy laid his head against the back of the couch, and his mouth formed the most beautiful smile; and then, then he reached out and wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me over to his self and settling me in at his side. My heart skipped like seven beats.

He kept an arm around my shoulders and hypnotized me with his pretty blue eyes. "You know, I haven't thanked you yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were willing to take a bullet for me."

Because I love you. Because I don't want to live without you. Because I can't live without you... "Keep you safe." I quoted R with a soft voice.

The softness reflected in his smile. "Thank you."

"You don't need-"

"But don't you ever fucking do something like that again, Jaymie." Whoa. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I blinked at him in confusion. His expression relaxed and he turned his face back towards the television. After a short moment he gave me a half smile and then pulled me even closer.

Was this all a dream? Does he have any idea what all this means to me? Is he just being appreciative and comforting, or does he feel the same as I do? He usually is pretty affectionate anyway. This is new though. Either way, I can't afford to make assumptions. I'm not willing to lose his friendship over my stupid fucking emotions; but he definitely seems different. Why am I so scared to lose him? Would Troy really cut off practically a life-long friendship and stop spending time with me if I misinterpreted his actions? Probably not, but then maybe he wouldn't do it anymore.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and just basked in the glory of his extra affections. I did manage to get ballsy enough to rest my head on his shoulder. I know it's a simple gesture, but it took a lot of courage for me to do it. I'm glad I did, because it was then that he rested his cheek on the top of my head. I could've died a happy woman in that moment.

*******

*Fun fact: High On Fire is the band playing in the truck in episode 5 when Troy and Madison are on their way to the outpost with the group of militia men. (I didn't know it either.) I was going to keep it simple with Metallica or Pantera, but I didn't know if they'd be too tame for Troy's liking.