#I'm abt to be so annoying abt this god bless

[imreallyonthishellsite]

Nobody:

Me watching a random ghost offer another ghost the gift of life: is this a fnaf reference

[papaiyatree]

the issue with the prime!sonic shenanigans is the fact that. i agree with the twitter users but they r taking it too seriously. like yeah i agree, sonic wouldn't be too open with his affection and emotions, yeah i agree that the folks on the crew saying it's canon to the mainline thing should've showed it through the actual writing, yeah this kind of characterization goes against the point of the show, yeah they kinda maybe nerfed sonic etc etc

but here's the THING tho: it's not that serious? i can point out 300 other mischaracterizations that are 10000x more serious. like, sonic is going to be the type of character that changes thru time to match the demands of whoever they wanna cater to. it's obvious. and for sonic prime? didn't one of the crew of this show straight up say that yeah they are targeting a younger audience but still allow longtime fans to have a piece of the cake. it's obvious from the absurd amount of flashbacks, it's obvious from the dialogue. i think this is just smth thay they think the kids want, most esp with the sonic films.

Yeah, you can be upset that ur fave version of this character might get lost to time. yeah, you can be critical of the show and the way it handles everything. but lord almightyyyy this is a cartoon hedgehog!!!!! this is not thay serious!!! talk about it but don't be a bitch about it oh my godddd

[angeltism]

ykw an entire love language is just. associating things to ONE being. only them! that concept? yeah that is Exactly One Being I Know. specific shade of that color? oh my god that's my buddy. a character? literally my bestie right there oh my goodness !! ^__^

[troglobite]

.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

cringe so hard when idols (you know who i'm specifically talking abt by now but it applies to all) interact with fans out in public and they're (the fans) always trying to touch and grab them when they're up close oh it gives me such second hand embarrassment and then when they follow them around i get heartburn like just tell them to fuck off 😭😭😭

[thekissofaphrodite]

Can you maybe do Clarisse x fem! Child of Hypnos?? I don’t think I’ve seen anything of that dynamic and I’d like to see how you would write it!

OKAY. IM ACTUALLY RLLY EXCITED ABT THIS SINCE JUST LIKE ANON SAID, I'VE NEVER SEEN A DYNAMIC LIKE IT BEFOREE.

Sweet Dreams

Clarisse La Rue X Daughter of Hypnos!Reader

Summary: A shared moment with clarrise with a flick of your finger.

Warnings: Hypnokinesis, people passing out and language

Author's note: Okay, I'm actually tired of some writers portraying a child of hypnos who likes to sleep... yeah, sure, their dad is the God of sleep, but that doesn't mean they just slump on their bed and snore away! They're also powerful! If you read the books !SPOILER ALERT! Hypnos literally knocked an entire city to sleep before the battle of Manhattan for Kronos. Why can't we portray his children like that? 🤨 No hate! Just speaking facts <33

CHILDREN OF HYPNOS DESERVES SOME RECOGNITION!! (coming from cabin 7)

——

You missed your girlfriend so much.

She was in archery and capture the flag today, but you two barely got enough time to run to each other before she was bombarded by tasks from Chiron.

You saw the way her eyes would soften from afar, giving you a discreet sympathetic look while she went on a rampage on her siblings ready to stab them into kebabs using her spear. But she knew you'd find a way to get to her, she always knew.

and you always do.

It wasn't long before every camper eventually dozed off after a fun sing-a-long around the campfire, singing their hearts out about their godly parent, minus a Demeter Girl complaining about getting a fern for her birthday instead of a car like all her friends.

So here you are, pulling your night robe closer as you impatiently wait for your father to caress Clarisse's siblings to sleep so you can have a moment with her.

But your father was taking way too long.

you have been hiding behind the cabin for hours, Listening to the unpleasant way the swords and spears of the Ares cabin got sharpened and big boisterous faces laughing at eachother. Clarisse was in her bunk, her arms crossed with a seemingly frowning expression. Every laughter made by her siblings made her more and more annoyed.

Every minute that passed made you more agitated until you finally snapped.

You stood behind the cabin and held your hands, focusing on the heartbeats and every breath that they exhaled, The sound around you became indistinct and fuzzy, the time seemed to slow down. A translucent light smoke seemed to snake inside the Cabin before it swirled around Clarisse' siblings, it took a few moments before their eyelids got heavy, their breathing ragged. And sure enough, there was a soft thud where their body fell.

It took you by surprise. It also snapped Clarisse out of her thoughts. Seeing her siblings who were talking lively minutes ago dozing off turned her off, She stood up alarmingly, ready to fend herself to any attacks of intruder.

When she saw you, her tense body softened, the beam on your face was a little unreadable, but she couldn't help but smile.

You ran and threw yourself into her arms, she caught you easily, carrying your weight like nothing.

"I did it, Clar!" You squealed, Clalrisse looked at you, confused.

"Did what, Baby?"

"My father finally blessed me! I get to use my powers, i can't believe this, did you see?!" You were babbling like a baby, words being thrown at her in hyperplaps, but she listened, never letting you go in her arms. She listened and remembered everything.

Like the time you were sobbing in her arms, after multiple failed attempts on praying to your father, it hurt her. She remembered when she used to devote herself to Ares, offering him big chunk of brisket and the freshest strawberries on her plate, just for him to answer her prayer, but it never worked, until finally he had enough of her, and gifted Clarisse a spear to shut her up.

But seeing you happy for finally being able to have powers, she felt something inside her change.

Clarisse tightened her arms around you, placing her nose to your hair, inhailing your scent.

"I'm proud of you" she pulled away and placed her hand against your cheek. She was slowly analyzing the color of your eyes, carefully studying each and every details your face had, then she slowly reached to your lips, the color was a mix of peach and pink, assuming it was from the lipgloss, but it looks so deliciously kissable right now.

Her hands reached the back of your head and before you know it, her lips were against yours, an arm wrapped around your waist while pulling you close.

"I love you, did you know that?" Clarisse whispered on your lips, "i doubt it" You laughed, falling over Clarisse' soft bunk bed as she kissed you once more.

An extra for you guys since i disappeared too long :>

——

There were soft groans and mumbles coming from Clarisse' siblings, it was already 3:46 am.

"What happened?" Asked Sherman while rubbing his temple.

Clarisse rolled her eyes at her brother, Sherman, glancing at their weapons leaned against their bunk.

"Nothing, i guess you two spent way too long gossiping that your eyes eventually took it themselves and took a rest" she said, Clarisse was trying not to grin at her siblings, knowing well that it was all her girlfriend's doing.

"Huh... what did you do when we're out then?" One of her brothers, Ellis asked.

"The usual, inspection and lights out"

"Really?" Both brothers said in unison.

"Yes, don't look at me like I'm lying, unless you want a spear up your ass" Clarisse snapped, rolling over and hugging her pillow to sleep.

Both brother looked at eachother and quietly snickered, i guess they'll keep hush about that peach and pink lipgloss smudge near clarisse' neck.

And they'll definitely tell the others tomorrow.

[moonstruckme]

happy new year lovie!!!! i feel bad for requesting this bc just thinking ab the volume of ur inbox is a little overwhelming and ive gone a bit overboard 😭

but..... bodyguard!james finds out his mum is quite sick right before his shift one day and leaves to take care of her after letting reader know. he has to take the week off and reader is visiting and bringing them their favorite homecooked meals everyday (which she has memorised bc, bless him, james loves to talk abt his mum) and james is LOVEEESTRUCK. she's there, bright and early every morning (with a different bodyguard bc god forbid she leaves the house with no protection right in front of james' own two eyes!!!) with muffins and flowers and bags of food in hand :( james is enamored and so sweet on her!!!!! and reader is obsessing over how vulnerable and emotionally in tune james is at a time like this!!!!! i'm thinking maybe confessions are getting pretty hard to hold back by the end of the week ☹️🩷

thank you! (if you do decide to write this or if you dont for letting me ramble on in your asks x)

Don't feel bad my love! Thank you for requesting :)

cw: sick family member

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

No matter how many times James has visited home throughout his adult life, he always manages to discover something he’s forgotten about living there. Like how particular his mum is about the way the dish towel is folded, or which drawer the scissors are kept in, or the ungodly amount of door-to-door salesmen that come by on a daily basis. 

Lately, he’s being plagued by the last. He recalls them being vaguely annoying when he was younger, but James’ family is currently going through a difficult time that leaves one with somewhat frayed nerves. He very nearly snapped at a particularly tenacious primary school student selling chocolate yesterday. Not one of his finer moments. 

So when the doorbell rings while his mum is trying to sleep down the hall, James has to make an effort to reel his wrath back in before he’s even answered it. 

Funnily enough, any negative emotion completely evaporates when he sees you on the front steps. 

“Hi,” you say, looking apprehensive. 

“Hi,” James echoes. He opens the door the rest of the way, nodding to the fill-in guard you’ve brought with you. “Hey, Singh.”

Singh nods in return. 

“I hope it’s alright that I just came by.” You give him a sheepish sort of smile. “I didn’t even realize I don’t have your phone number until now. You’re always just…there.” 

James laughs, the mood that’s descended over him since getting the call about his mum lifting slightly. “Yeah, I suppose I am. What brings you out, sweetheart?” 

You hoist the bags you’re carrying a bit higher in your arms. “I brought some stuff for you and your mom, if that’s okay.” 

A tiny hand fists around his heart, squeezing pleasantly. “Course it is,” he all but coos. “Come on in. Singh, you alright to stay here and keep watch?” 

Luckily, the other man doesn’t think to remember that James is currently on leave, and so defers to him with a curt nod. James shoots him a smile as you come inside, closing the door behind you. 

“They put Singh on day shift?” he asks, taking one of the bags from you and leading you into the kitchen. “He’s barely finished training.” 

“He seems fine,” you say in your good-natured way. 

“He took you to a location that’s never been reconned without even bringing another guard to post outside.” 

“It’s your mom’s house, Jamie.” The smile is evident in your voice, sweeter even than the smell wafting out of these bags. God, he’s missed you. “I doubt he suspects either of you are going to try and hurt me.” 

“He should be prepared for the possibility,” James says, but he can’t manage to work any menace into his tone even to tease you. You tilt your head at him, mouth curving up to one side like you’re well acquainted with his particular brand of silliness, and he lets his grievances go instantly. “You didn’t have to bring us anything, angel face.” 

You flush a bit at the endearment, directing a soft smile down at his family’s old wooden table (which is great, because now James is in the position of being jealous of a table). “I wanted to do something,” you reply simply. “How’s your mom?” 

“She’s alright.” Not great. Not worse, which is always good. If the only thing he accomplishes in a day is that she doesn’t get worse, James can feel good about that. “She’s sleeping in this morning.” 

“Oh, shit.” Your voice drops to a hush like the breeze blowing through leaves. “I haven’t woken her, have I?” 

James grins. “No, you’re good. She can sleep through anything.” 

You lose a breath. “Right, well I brought some meals to last you a few days,” you say, digging some containers out of the bag. “It can all be heated up whenever you’re ready to eat, and—oh, also some flowers. I know it’s stupid, but I thought they might brighten things up for you two.” James doesn’t think it’s stupid at all, but you go on before he can tell you so. “Can I put these in your freezer? I brought some muffins for this morning too, if you want them.” 

“Yeah,” James says, the word leaving him on a breath. “I mean, yeah to both. Thank you.” He grabs several of the containers as well, showing you to the freezer. You both start cramming them in between things, wherever they’ll fit. He takes note of the food as it goes in, a heady warmth growing in his chest. “Did you make all of this?” 

You hum in brisk affirmation. “I had plenty of time on my hands yesterday. Turns out things are pretty boring without you around.” 

“How’d you know what to make? This is all—these are our favorites.” 

You turn to him, a tenderhearted sort of smile curving your lips. “You talk about your mom a lot, Jamie,” you say. “I know all her favorites by now. And the things she’d make that were your favorites, too.” 

James hadn’t realized he’d spent so much time rambling about his mum. It hurts his chest a bit to think of it now, worse to think that you’d been listening so intently. 

“This is only really enough to get you through a few days,” you go on, oblivious to his yearning, “but I figured I’d come back with more if you’re both alright with it.” You look at him as you pack the last of the food away, your gaze careful. “I don’t want to intrude or anything.” 

“You could never intrude.” James isn’t sure how he gets the words out, his heart ballooning until it’s nearly cutting off his airflow. The cool air breezing onto one side of his face stops, and he realizes you’ve shut the freezer. “This is just…so, so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.” 

“James.” Your voice is soft. Your smile has faded, and now you look at him with an unabashed, steady kindness. “You don’t have to say anything. I can’t stand the thought of you and your mom going through this. I wanted to help, somehow.” One of your shoulders comes up in a sheepish half-shrug. “Even if it’s really small.” 

He wraps his arms around your shoulders, and you hesitate only a second before bringing your arms around him too. You squeeze him tight. James lets himself relish the feel of it, lovelorn. “It’s not small,” he says fervently. “It really…it means a lot, sweetheart.” 

You only squeeze tighter in response. When he lets you go, your gaze is sad. Worried. You ask without prelude, “Are you doing okay?” 

James gives you a half-smile. The truth of it. “Yeah, we’re alright over here. It’s hard to see her like this, but I think everything’s going to be okay.” You nod, solemn in your understanding. ���Sounds like I might be doing better than you, actually, if your company’s bad enough that you’re entertaining yourself in the kitchen all day.” 

You crack a smile at that, and James’ heart lightens. “Yeah, Singh’s no you. He doesn’t seem to like to chat.” 

“Ahh, so that’s why you’ve really come out here, yeah? You just missed me.” 

“You’ve caught me.” 

It’s said like a joke, but James’ pride inflates foolishly nonetheless. “I hate that I can’t be there,” he says. “Especially now that I know they’ve put Singh on my shift.” 

“He’s not so bad,” you laugh, heading towards the table. You fold up the bags. “Anyway, it’s more important that you’re here. And I’ll be back in a couple days to restock you.” 

James fixes you with a look as you start for the door. “You really don’t have to.” 

“I’m going to,” you say breezily. “Don’t forget to put the flowers in water, and the muffins are strawberry chocolate chip.” He grins. His mum’s favorite. “I’ll tell Singh you were raving about him.” 

“Oh, please do.” He rolls his eyes, feeling lighter than he has in days. “Thanks, angel.” 

You shoot him a smile worthy of the moniker as you go out the door. “See you in a couple days, Jamie.”

[higuchisora]

The idea of characters from other stories winding up in SVSSS has been stuck in my head for a while but I'm not gonna write abt it lmao so here's what's been rattling around in the ole noggin:

Toph:

Toph would be a genuine menace

Specifically on poor Liu Qingge, who hasn't the slightest clue how he wound up with yet another student

Earthbending should not be possible here. Earthbending is NOT possible here.

Toph invents earthbending here.

In fact, she only gets stronger. Because the cultivation aspects of the world means she's got even more qi and knows more about how to use it beyond earthbending.

She can now use qi itself to "see" (sensing others' qi, using it to sense movement, etc.) Not just earthbending

Lqg wants nothing to do with any more disciples. Especially not ones as annoying as yang yixuan

He gets a gremlin even more annoying than yang yixuan

He lies awake at night, regretting saving her life that one time on a hunt and kickstarting her path of being a Problem

Specifically, he saves her life one night while she's out trying to remaster earthbending, inspiring her to become a cultivator

She runs away from her noble family and their arranged marriage and stifling life that they've planned out for her and heads straight to Cang Qiong's Bai Zhan peak the first chance she gets

Refuses to take no for an answer, thus growing to become lqg's #1 menace

He both blesses and curses the day she was born

Lqg would sooner die than admit she's basically his other baby sister/daughter figure

Will outright refuse to fly on her sword When asked how she'll get around, the earth goddamn MOVES UNDER HER FEET and she causes several earthquake/mole monster sightings with these shenanigans

Is banned from this move

Begins to tunnel underground instead

She could arguably fly on her sword just fine, sensing the qi around her to navigate and shit, but it's harder and definitely uncomfortable and brings back bad memories of that one time in the volcano with Aang and Sokka

Luo Binghe wants her dead

She probably never gets strong enough to 1v1 him and win but she's definitely strong enough to become a genuine challenge

Especially when she reinvents metalbending

Rides for her shizun ong

Would probably fight lbh for lqg's honor after the SQQ corpse situation (he did not ask her to do this)

Aang:

The angel of Qing Jing peak fr

Or that monastery but we don't hear enough about them tbh

Has legitimately no idea how he got here, maybe too scared to question it actually

Like, did he really fuck up and end up getting ripped out of the avatar cycle orrrr????

Decides some things are better left unknown

The only struggle he really has is not being bald anymore

Honestly???? Might still shave his head and just stick to a wig

Would inevitably get caught or ALMOST caught and eventually gets used to growing it out (would probably become the inventor of extensions or wig glue though lmao)

Would make the spoiled qing jing disciples better just by being around them tbh

Star student probably, would be a menace in a cute way

One of the few men allowed on Xian Shu (for visits/messages)

Would probably befriend demons ngl

Loves flying on his sword

Prefers his staff though, and eventually figures out how to make/get someone to make one for him

No one knows how he does the air scooter. They are scared.

No one asks about the tattoos either.

Or how he's controlling all these fucking elements.

He doesn't have an avatar state anymore, but that doesn't seem to stop him from being wildly more dangerous than anyone expected

Possibly unlocks permanent cultivation-blocking? Like sealing off your core

Demons don't take note

Until he learns how to do the same for demonic cores

Exorcist Aang

Possibly becomes a rogue/wandering cultivator

Wandering rogue exorcist Aang????

He's either a god descended upon the earth or a heavenly demon in disguise, according to critics

He thinks it's all silly

Until he meditates too hard and communes with a god or something who tells him they may or may not have bargained to snatch his corner of the avatars soul for a reason

Uh oh

Sokka:

Does not know how he managed to get spiritual energy or cultivate

Actively chooses not to think too much about it

The head disciple of An Ding 😭

Absolutely salty about it

Shang Qinghua is endlessly grateful though

Does not know what to make of the long hair thing; probably tries to keep his hair in a half-pony still, as an ode to the water tribe

I've seen some fics where Qiong Ding is headcannoned as the bureaucratic peak; in this case, he might be able to sweet talk his way in if fate and Yue Qingyuan is kind enough

Either way he's grateful he gets to do sword stuff again

Especially now that he can FLY on them?!

He hasn't completely forgotten his skills, so he's got a whole different style no one's seen before and it's Weirdly Good Actually

He finally works his cultivation up enough to get his personal sword

Then he finally gets to summon his and he cries

It's space sword

No one knows what the fuck to make of this weird ass sword but he doesn't care, it's his and he loves it

Known as the best ever manager of An Ding peak

Katara:

Would have one (1) argument with her brother and march up to Xian Shu

Frequent visitor of Qing Jing and Qian Cao

Mu Qingfang mourns every day that she didn't choose the medicine peak

Katara maintains that she's too ready to beat some ass to ever be a full doctor and vow to do no harm

Never quite learns to be comfy with a sword but can still handle her own

During the demon invasion on Cang Qiong (assuming she's there at the time), she bloodbends Hualing right off the mountain

The demons do NOT stick around

The cultivators are too scared to ask her what the fuck that was but they're nicer to her than before

The xian shu peak gains a fearsome reputation of possibly teaching blood magic

No One gets how she does the waterbending stuff. Outsiders assume it's some Xian Shu ancient secret technique. Or she's related to Mobei Jun. Real members know Kataras just Like This.

Keeps the hair loopies. No matter what people say.

Wears a blue necklace similar to her mother's heirloom; a gift from her shizun probably

Genuinely enjoys the sisterhood on Xian Shu. It reminds her of the better days of her home, before the southern raiders came back

Zuko:

Could've chosen from several peaks, but chooses Bai Zhan

Something about the bamboo on Qing Jing reminds him of his uncle though, so he likes to visit. But not for too long. It hurts.

Isn't really bothered by the long hair thing; while cutting hair isn't forbidden in the fire nation, long hair is common practice, especially for nobles

Keeps the standard topknot until Toph calls it ugly

And then he remembers toph cannot see his topknot

Starts doing ponytails anyway

Also a star student of Bai Zhan, especially after he busts out the firebending forms

Yet another nuisance for poor lqg

He and Toph are the only two that can keep up with each other

Known as the Twin Stars of Bai Zhan

Aka the Twin Headaches of Liu Qingge

Has a small red birthmark near his eye, on the side that used to be burned

The fact that there isn't a massive burn is mildly uncomfortable to him at first. Doesn't feel like himself

Again, No One knows how all these kids with weird qi abilities are coming from

They're beginning to suspect they're all part demon

Neither he nor Toph ever defeat the demon heritage allegations

Especially not with the way they fight. And allegedly have a Past that no one else knows about

Would also fight Binghe for his Shizuns honor

Weirdly chill for Bai Zhan actually

Has probably made leaps and bounds from his avatar hunting days already

Most expect him to have gone to a quieter peak, it's baffling

Until he beats the shit outta somebody

And then goes back to being gentle and chill and forgiving

He wonders if uncle Iroh is watching over him here too

He can only hope his uncle is still proud of him, wherever he might be

Lqg isn't his uncle, but he's still a kind presence that Zuko looks up to a little, even if the guy is a little too punchy

Thus takes it upon himself to ride or die for him

One of the few dual wielders around

His curved blades are also a source of curiosity for the others

But he's good with them so no one complains

In a bingliushen situation, Zuko, Toph, and YYX are feral protective gremlins that somehow make things better AND worse for the development of the bingliushen courtship process lmao

I'll probably make more at some point but that's all for now. If someone wants to make a fic of these PLEASE let me know, link me I'm desperate

[porcelain-winter-doll]

Meeting your parents

m.sturniolo x fil! Reader

Warning: Filipino language (translation present), mentions of y/n. NOT PROOFREAD

A/n: y/n's mom's name is Rosalie while her dad's carlo

Navigation

Matt was very nervous about meeting y/ns parents for the obvious reason. Y/n's parents are strict and are against y/n dating but let it slide because y/n begged and begged to let them date.

Matt was holding a beautiful wrapped rose and tulips as she rang the doorbell on y/n's house, the door revealing kiera's mom, Matt awkwardly greeted Mrs l/n "good afternoon, Mrs l/n" Matt greets her as he mano po, just like how y/n taught him

(Mano po is a Filipino gesture of respect and a way to ask for a blessing from an elder)

"Abay, Carlo lika! Ang bait Ng boyfriend ni y/n" Mrs Rosalie calls out her husband, y/n's dad walks with an annoyed look "eto na yon?" Mr l/n sarcastically says

(Abay, Carlo lika! Ang bait Ng bf ni y/n = wow, Carlo come here! Y/n's boyfriend is nice) (Eto na yon?=That's him?)

The couple lets Matt in and Rosalie makes Matt sit on the couch "wait for Kiera here, iho. She's getting ready at the moment" Kiera's mom smiled at Matt

(Iho= basically a term for a boy younger than you, mostly elders call them that)

Matt was approached by y/n's dad, Mr l/n sitting next to him "how long have you been dating my daughter for?" Y/n's dad asked Matt, the Filipino accent thick on his voice. "About 1 year sir.." Matt answered quickly, y/n's dad nodded "if you hurt her, I'll come back here from Philippines to shoot you dead, iho" y/n's dad sternly says as he pays Matt's back

Y/n came rushing down to Matt after she finishes getting ready, the white halter top and jeans perfectly complimented her skin colour, along with the beautiful gold jewelry she wore. "Matt!" Y/n excitedly hugged her boyfriend "hi, baby" Matt smiled as he ruffled y/n's hair "look so pretty" y/n smiled at Matt's compliments

You and Matt walked over to the dining area "mama, this looks good" y/n says as her and Matt sat down next to eachother "of course anak, ako paba?" Mrs, l/n says making y/n and her dad laugh as a confused Matt sat still

Mama is mom and anak, ako paba is "y/n, I'm the best"

"so, iho. What do you do for living" y/n's mom asked "I do YouTube with my brothers" Matt awkwardly smiled "YouTube? How can YouTube feed you." Y/n's dad sternly says as y/n's head perks up "ano ba pa? That's bad to say" y/n sternly says looking annoyed "jusko, malalaman nyo Yan pag nagka anak na kayo" your dad rebates

Ano ba pa = what's the matter with you dad, wtv the dad said = my god, you'll find out if you both get kids

Matt quietly ate as y/n and your dad argued.

🍡🌷Timeskip🍡🌷

During the dinner y/n's dad warmed up to Matt and started liking Matt. They talked about the basketball teams and much more. After dinner Matt helped with cleaning, making Mrs,l/n happy about Matt helping her and even asked if matt would like to come over again sometime while they're still in america

Y/n hugged Matt as Matt pats her head "see you Tomorrow?" Kiera said as Matt smiled "see you, lovely" Matt kissed y/n's cheeks and bid his farewells

Y/n's parents warmed up on Matt and even fully accepted their relationship,over the next weeks and days Matt often visits the l/n's

•🌷🍡🎀🌷🍡🎀🌷🍡🎀🌷🍡•

A/n~ sorry for the change of views! I'm trying my best to improve on my writings and like uh, abt smut if anyone wants to can y'all DM me and help me or like teach me how to write smut? I really badly want to write 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[queer-overwatch]

another Sombra rq!!!! I love her sm ok,, ty for the last request btw bc LLORD I LOVED IT 🛐 okay this time I'm thinkin sombra x fem reader who REALLY adores the way olivia looks and stares at her all the time but then reader is super insecure abt herself,,, as always any format!! have a blessed day!!

Sombra x Insecure!Reader

Yippie! FYI Sombras my dps main so everytime we get a request for her I'm like "MINE" and yoink it before Xorn even has a chance to see it lmao, hope your happy with me doing everything for Sombra >:3 -Frisk

◆━━━━━━━▣✦▣━━━━━━━━◆

"I don't know what he was doing, something stupid obviously" Sombra, you're wonderful, pretty, smart, amazing girlfriend, was talking shit as per usual, though this time it was about Reaper.

You were trying to pay attention, really! But it was hard, especially when Sombra was in the best lighting ever, and her hair was just slightly messed in a way that makes it more gorgeous than you could put into words.

It was hard to focus on anything but her, especially with how pretty she always was. Despite how bad you knew it was, you couldn't help but compare yourself to them sometimes. It wasn't normally on purpose, it was just hard to not feel out of place dating someone so perfect. She was so smart and the absolute best at her job, even when working with people so "incompetent" as she'd say. "Hey, querida, are you listening to me?" You're snapped out of your thoughts by Sombra flicking you on the forehead, staring at you seemingly annoyed. Good lordy even her annoyed face is pretty, you've really got an obsession. "Hm? Yeah! Yeah I'm listening, sorry." You reach out and grab the hand she used to flick you, rubbing her knuckles with your thumb as you nod for her to continue talking. "Right, well anyway, I don't know why these old people keep coming to me with their tech problems, I'm not tech support! The only person who I told I'd help is Siebren!" You nod along, half listening to her rant and half in your own head. How did she manage to look so beautiful even while pissed? You had no clue what her secret was, not to mention her amazing fashion sense. One time you tried to dress like her, took one look in the mirror, and immediately put on the baggiest clothes you had.

You loved her, obviously, and were always more than happy to take her out on dates, using any excuse you could to admire her, but you refused to dress up the way she did. Dresses just didn't look right, no matter how you styled your hair it didn't look the way you wanted it too. God forbid you try and go to the beach, you'd be sitting in the shade in a hoodie and sweatpants before you let her see how...disappointing you were. "Anyway, how was your day, estimada?" She drags you around, checking on some expensive looking technology you couldn't even think of touching, let alone understanding how it worked. "Boring, I didn't do much, never do really." You laugh off her question, trying to make a bit of a sad joke to distract her. She stares at you for a bit, silently judging what you think is everything about you. Maybe she finally realized that she was far too pretty to be with someone like you. You didn't think you were like, hideously ugly, but maybe she did?! What if she was planning to break up with you, who would want to date you if you were rejected by the Sombra!? "Fair enough, a day off does sound nice, actually. I'd love to laze around all day in pajamas, lucky you!" She pinches your cheek, teasing you as she finally looks back to one of her many screens. "Really?" It was hard to imagine, the usually dolled up Sombra, lazing about and dressed so casually. You were sure she's still look just as amazing as usual despite it, she was somehow so effortlessly perfect. You were, uh, there. "Maybe you should take a day off then! I'm sure they can handle one mission without you, even if your team is as useless as you say they are!" You grab her shoulders, spinning her to be facing you with what you can imagine is the biggest smile she's ever seen on your face. Any opportunity to be able to simply bask in her glory was an opportunity you were going to make use of! You could imagine it now, her sitting there, watching tv in an oversized T-shirt and shorts. There was no way your imagination could do it justice, you had to see her like that in real life or you'd simply keel over and die. "Maybe, I should be free tonight actually" She shrugs noncommittedly, but you could see the slightest hint of red in her cheeks! That meant it was a yes!

"Perfect! I'll go find some movies for us to watch! You better hurry finishing up whatever it is you're working on! I love you, be ready at 8!" You dash off, leaving her with a peck on the cheek and a timer to set.

◆━━━━━━━▣✦▣━━━━━━━━◆

Scrambling around your room, you desperately try and make yourself look presentable but also try to make it look like you didn't try and this is just how you are 24/7. Sombra was always so flawless, you couldn't ruin their night by being ugly! You check your phone and nearly throw it across the room. It was already 7:58! What if she was waiting for you and she thinks you stood her up and gets mad?! You'd never forgive yourself if you made her wait on you! Glancing in the mirror, you stop worrying about the time, or what movie you'll watch, or how your little date will go. Everything was suddenly replaced by pure shame. All that time you spent trying to look on par with your girlfriend, and this is how it came out? All that effort and energy and materials for..this? Was it even worth it to try in the first place? You loved Sombra so, so, so much, but no matter what you did it felt like you were playing the role of the ugly girl obsessed with a movies main character that's just there for comedic effect.

You're knocked out of your own thoughts again by a tap on the shoulder, getting a feeling of deja vu. You turn and see Sombra, as perfect and gorgeous as ever.

"You ready yet, slowpoke?" She takes your hand, dragging you out of room before you can bother to respond. Leading you to her own private corner of Talon's base, a forgotten storage room that she'd stolen and made her own, a password for the handmade high-tech door and everything.

She shoves you down onto a beanbag and takes her spot next to you, dragging one of your arms around her shoulders and handing you a remote for the tv she'd snuck into the room years earlier.

"You gonna pick something or not?" Again with her teasing, this time though it didn't feel like her words would sink into your brain and repeat in a much meaner tone when you looked in the mirror. This time it felt soft, less stressful.

You nod, smiling and throwing on an old action movie you were reminded of last week. You both got comfortable, and you felt her rest her hand on your stomach, head against your shoulder.

It felt nice to be touched, especially by someone like her. It was hard to imagine, someone like her loving someone like you, but if she could love you, maybe you could learn to love yourself too.

[sprolden]

I'm genuinely so attached to my sims family LMAO I'm 3 generations in rn and I care abt them so deeply.... when my single likeable sim dies (the rest are all such annoying people god bless) i'll actually be so upset

[arodeku]

It's the first time I'm actually here for a dnpCRAFTS upload and not just watching them retroactively. And I'm a horror fiend. Big day for me.

Hey, they're matching again. This means nothing, everything is okay.

Phil Lester ate glue indirect mention coming at you live from whatever twisted dimension this is. He will never outrun this.

Phil's fake laugh is so unsettling bc it's sooo much like his real one. Like, Dan's is very obviously meant to be a hollow, fake laugh, but I've literally seen Phil make that face when he's actually genuinely laughing.

Love how even knee deep in surrealist satire, Dan still finds a way to throw shade at how annoying we are, god bless.

On that note, while I love the callbacks, I kinda miss the whole ritual of the audience deciding to take a random fucking phrase from the vidoe and spaming it everywhere on the internet.

Don't. don't eat the shaving cream. Okay, thank you.

Phil's slime actually turned out really cool looking.

Red on forehead, red on palms. This is starting to feel familiar.

WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE OUTSIDE

Oh, okay.

Where's that post that's like,"if dnp hadn't been dnp and had only uploaded dnpCRAFTS, the indie internet horror fans would be eating it UP" bc they were, in fact, correct.

I guess we know why they took that trip now.

Slay, ig.

Oh, Phil's dead again :(

That being said, watching Dan Howell and Phil Lester, ex-BBC Radio 1 hosts, celebrity interviewers and YouTube mega-stars, act out a ritual sacrifice for an April Fools vid is. A little funny. If you think abt it.

Oh, it's the twinks from The Shining lmao.

Who tf are you???

Temu ad starts playing immediately after the video ends. Life is a joke.

[felikatze]

Hi I hate downloading programs and spending money but I’m very interested in your fire emblem guys. Do you have any advice as to how I can best look into more details about them?

You are at the correct address, friend. You say you hate downloading programs but alas it is the best way to not spend money.

In the following you will find a basic summary of FEA, an abridged 3DS emulation guide, and whatever else abt FEA i word vomited.

This got long.

Basic Gist: My Guys (this is the second time someone has called them that, amazing) are Chrom and Robin from Fire Emblem Awakening for the 3DS. If you just want the basics, you can watch a let's play of them, I guess? I used this cutscene compilation to check things for my. fea fanfic. and god bless it is a playthrough where chrom and robin are married because it just makes the story better. it does.

If you don't know shit about FEA: Chrom, prince of the halidom of Ylisse, finds an amnesiac tactician out in a field. They, Robin, join his militia, the Shepherds. The group sets off to combat a new threat of zombies. At the same time, they attempt to solve the mystery of "Marth", a masked person who came through a weird portal together with the zombies.

Listen man you know who "Marth" is. I don't need to tell you.

If you don't know shit about Fire Emblem: FE is an SRPG fantasy series frequently referred to as "anime chess" because it is. It has a permadeath mechanic (if a unit dies, they r gone forever) but newer games, including FEA, also include a non-permanent death mode. The choice is yours.

The writing: certainly questionable sometimes. The Valm Arc™ is kind of famous as filler, because a new character gets to be protagonist for a few chapters. Say'ri, you're neat an' all, but do we need to do this?

Disclaimers: fea is kinda colorist. Which if you know fire emblem is (deep sigh) to be expected. Why are only non-playable Plegian characters brown and all the playable ones white? You know why.

Side characters rely heavily on gimmicks to define them which is either endearing or annoying. Depends on you. Also there is a loli dragon and I've seen THREE separate mods that redesign her. God people hate nowi's design (i'm people)

The game has a marriage mechanic. If two characters reach Support Rank S, they get married (straight married only though there IS a gay mod). Then their time traveling kid from the future shows up. You can have Chrom and Robin get married in-game (if Robin is a girl. I specifically picked F!Robin to do so) but they will REGARDLESS be the sappiest bitches on earth about each other. Even if they are married to other people. It can feel kind of awkward, I'd imagine.

Despite my disclaimers I will say that I was overall engaged with FEA's story on a moment to moment basis; it moves at a brisk pace without dragging, I found the emotional conceit at the heart of it all deeply compelling, and I overall just had a lot of fun.

With a cutscene comp you get the usual drawbacks: no side content. Some of the supports (optional conversations between characters) are fucking hilarious (looking at henry) and you also miss out on paralogues (sidequests) which include the second generation characters besides Lucina (my daughter whom I love).

If it's 3DS emulation you're looking for, Citra is your best friend. It's available for both PC, both Windows and Linux, though I have better experience on the former. It also has an Android App now, and from my scant experience with it, it runs great. Citra is definetly the No. 1 3DS emulator. No competition.

If your PC isn't on the higher end, fiddle with settings until you get to a grade of chugging that you're comfy with. I don't know what i did to get the game run smooth. Set audio to mono though bcuz it cuts out echo from lag.

As for a totally legit copy of Awakening, my usual go to vimm's lair doesn't have it, but the Reddit Roms Megathread does. Reddit is the best piracy help site fr.

Awakening Rom: Here. It's in alphabetical order, so scroll down to F till you find it. Or use the search bar.

Awakening DLC: Here. Same as above, use the search bar. Europe or USA version at your discretion.

If Citra complains that the files are encrypted: use the Batch Cia Decryptor. It's for windows.

DLC can be installed via the handy dandy "Add DLC" button citra has. I recommend dlc solely because the Future Past dlc has soo much Grima characterization that makes me go rabid. Highly recommend. I watched cutscenes of this one because I'm not smart enough to actually beat it.

When playing on Citra, I recommend turning off battle animations, since they're the laggiest part to emulate. Without them, my game ran smooth.

If you specifically want to see Chrobin, you will get more than enough of them in the base game. If you want to see my babygirl grima, you will likely question my choice in blorbos from base game alone.

There's also Fire Emblem Heroes, the mobile game, which has the famous day of devotion Chrobin duo unit, but: not worth it.

On gameplay tips: I'm very bad at strategy games. FEA is toughest early game in my opinion. Use Frederick liberally for his high defense stat until he's trash mid-game. Pair up is busted. If you pair Lon'qu up with someone who gives him + Speed (like Panne <- I am biased toward this pairing) he is basically unhittable.

Chrom and Robin are both very good units who will SHRED. robin's future kid morgan also shreds. #morgansweep. there's like. a whole skill inheritance system and like ideal parent combos for good stats or whatever but I got by fine ignoring it. i benched basically all of the second gen units except morgan and lucina. rip to them.

The base game can be vry easy it's just the dlc that is Very Difficult <- looked dlc up on youtube.

Additional Chrobin content includes, once again FEH, but i mainly just look at the art anyway, Fire Emblem Warriors (solid mid tier game but high tier co-op chaos experience with extremely garbage plot), and most recently the Fire Emblem Engage DLC, where Chrom and Robin get to chill in a bracelet as ghosts together. I don't have engage i just (once again) looked it up on youtube.

If you do decide to play FEA and like it, i will recommend you my favorite chrobin fics in a heartbeat. And, god forbid, you like Grima a smidgen as much as I do, i have. so many thoughts about him. And fic recs. Chrom/Grima ficrecs even. I love chrobin and chrom/grima equally because [if my incessant posting didn't spoil this twist i will be geniuenly suprised.]

TLDR:

watch cutscenes of FEA on youtube or emulate it ig. have fun.

[menlove]

I read that anon as just wanting to help? Like yeah they voiced it kinda badly but I feel like this reaction isn't propourtional to the anon you got

I'm not even just talking abt that anon this happens constantly and it is annoying and I am allowed to be annoyed abt ppl being annoying. god bless and god speed

it is a general issue on the internet, anon included and anon not included, where ppl will see anyone talking abt their own personal annoyances and decide an opinion/advice is needed. and it's really, really not.

it is smth if u have followed me for even like 2 months u will know I have talked abt before and that anon is just One example of

like genuinely idrc if they were trying to be helpful...... that's not exactly the point. the Point is that not everything needs commentary, not everything needs an opinion, not everyone wants your perspective on their personal annoyance. like ik this is the internet and we've kind of curated this space where it's cool to act any way to anyone and not expect a reaction, but unfortunately that's just like. not how the world works?

if u saw a stranger in public talking abt smth that annoyed them and approached them, who u have never spoken to in ur life, and u said "actually I think you're wrong and here's how you can solve your problem" u wouldn't be shocked if they reacted in annoyance to you

so why is it different on the internet? why do we have an entitlement to ppl on here that we wouldn't in a public space?

[pvtchurch]

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

what color are your eyes?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

:D

comfort characters, I had to think abt this one, so I guess I'd say Frenchie from The Boys, the entire cast of The Bear (hard to find a picture where you can see them..), Adrian from peacemaker, and also Data & Geordi my best friends :)

bonus: dinesh & gilfoyle from silicon valley don't really count but they are my favourite characters in my comfort show SO.. god bless the annoying loser duo

what color are your eyes? nice rich brown :)

I only do 1 extracurricular, which is distance running, so I'm gonna have to say that one LOL

spicy foods I answered here!!

[troglobite]

lkajsdf

oh my fUCKING. GOD. I'M SO FUCKING TIRED.

"the air filter in the fridge needs to be replaced"

[angrily and as though i've asked the world of her in 10 seconds flats] "okay, i'll take care of it TODAY"

???????????????

"i'm literally just passing along information. the door alert is in tiny font and it's hard to read so i didn't know if you'd see it, and i JUST saw it, so i was LETTING YOU KNOW. THAT'S IT."

i got upset abt the vacuum being difficult to work with and i was asking A SPECIFIC QUESTION and INSTEAD OF FUCKING ANSWERING she just asked me REPEATEDLY what i'm trying to do!

CONTRARY TO YOUR POPULAR BELIEF, I DO ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE HOME CLEANING INSTRUMENTS

THIS ONE IS NEW AND IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT AND IT'S MAKING ME UPSET SO I'M ASKING A VERY SPECIFIC QUESTION TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING COULD YOU JUST ANSWER IT

then of course she did my favorite thing

she jumped shipped to a completely separate thing that i wasn't thinking about

she KNOWS that i am COMPLETELY FUCKING OVERWHELMED as my base status right now and she did the ONE THING THAT FUCKING ALWAYS OVERWHELMS ME: asks me a complicated question while i'm DOING SOMETHING ELSE UNRELATED.

so i tell her just to hang on and let me think

AND INSTEAD OF LETTING ME FUCKING DO THAT

she walks away to retrieve SHIT THAT I DON'T NEED and says "here are three options which one do you want"

I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE I'M DOING SOMETHING AND I'M TRYING TO SWITCH GEARS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION AND MOVE ONTO THE NEXT THING!!!!

"okay i'll just leave them here"

gREAT thanks i'm SOOOOOO FUCKING GLAD that you did that FOR NOTHING because AS I WAS TRYING TO SAY i needed to figure out if i even needed them at fucking all

and now! turns out! I DON'T NEED THEM!!!! WHICH YOU WOULD'VE FUCKING KNOWN IF YOU HAD JUST FUCKING WAITED FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES

i WAS going to hang my pictures and build a piece of furniture today and possibly hang my curtains so i can be NOT FUCKING MISERABLY HOT in my room EVERY FUCKING DAY but no, i'm not going to do that anymore.

i'm a little tetchy and she is MONSTROUSLY ANNOYED WITH ME. i refuse to fucking deal with that.

yesterday she got fucking angry at me because i made a joke abt how she NEVER says "bless you" to me when i sneeze. turned into an entire fucking argument with her acting like i'm INSANE for saying it and she tried to ACCUSE me of being awful for it bc i'm not religious and it's a religious saying??? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING POINT???

i'm tired, burnt out, overwhelmed, hot, miserable, in pain and uncomfortable 24 FUCKING 7, and i just wanted to do some chores today. i got frustrated and confused about the vacuum and now i'm just the world's worst person.

i'm so fucking sick and tired of her taking it out on me just because i'm the one who lives here.

i'm tired of being the worst thing that ever happened to her.

i'm tired of everything. i don't want to be alive.

every time i start crying, all she sees/hears is my aunt, who she fucking hates and has ptsd from.

every time i'm disabled and need help, all she sees/hears is my grama, who's stubborn and difficult and won't help herself sometimes, and who's really dependent on her--and who still is despite living with my mom's brothers, now, isntead of a house my mom owns.

every time i make a neutral observation or comment or joke, all she sees/hears is my dad being manipulative and judgmental and distrustful of her.

every time i argue or mention a technicality, all she sees/hears is me being condescending and judgmental instead of just neutrally offering information that, if i'm wrong abt, i will happily say "oh whoops i was wrong"

everything i need or feel or think or say just makes her think of someone she hates, whether or not it's fair at all. but she thinks she has ALLLLLLL of her trauma under control--and more than that, that she's not traumatized at all.

meanwhile i had a full fucking nervous system meltdown without any psychological input or Feeling from me at the mere MENTION of having to be alone again for any stretch of time, proving that this summer fucking traumatized me, and all that happened was i was alone for weeks in a house filled with spiders. that's it. that's all that happened. and the mere THOUGHT of being alone again in this house made my autonomic system go into fucking panic/meltdown mode. it happened literally right in front of her and i said, through tears, "i'm not emotionally freaking out, this is happening without my input, all that happened was i thought abt being alone again" i literally narrated it for her and said "it's fine, of course you can go to oregon for a long weekend, you should, my brain got so scared i would be alone for another week again, that's all"

but she thinks she's not traumatized by 1. 20+ years of an emotionally manipulative relationship with someone who had his own unresolved trauma 2. having to care for her also kind of manipulative deeply stubborn and difficult mother who physically abused her as a child including bathing her and changing her diapers for weeks 3. being abandoned by her siblings to care for their mother and their adoptive sister who's mentally ill, has TBI from childhood, and multiple addictions and damage from those addictions, and her young son.

somehow she thinks she only RECENTLY acquired trauma from my aunt, and not over the last 10+ years of this shit.

and there's literally fucking nothing i can do but sit here and be a punching bag and be treated like i'm the worst person on the planet

and then when i FOR LEGITIMATE REASONS feel that way, again, all she sees is my dad emotionally manipulating and abusing her.

literally the other night i sat down w my dinner and went "ah shit i forgot the A1" and she goes "//sigh. okay."

and. STOOD. UP???

i just fucking LOOKED at her fucking BAFFLED. i literally said "what are you doing?"

and she goes "i'm getting the sauce for you. it's easier for me to get up, anyway. and i could get some water."

and i had to say "just to be clear i was going to get it myself, i literally did not ask you to do this or even remotely expect you to."

and she just. fucking did it anyway.

and she does this ALL THE TIME. case in fucking point, when she left and grabbed 3 of something for me THAT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE SURE I EVEN FUCKING NEEDED

i did not ask her to

she jumped the gun

she didn't listen to me

she didn't respect the fact that i needed to think

she just DID IT and now i don't need them

and she's going to RESENT ME for it

even though I DIDN'T FUCKING ASK HER TO DO THAT

literally those bullet points on the list of things i wanted to do today that i shared w her? they have QUESTION MARKS. BECAUSE I WASN'T SURE. nothing else has a question mark!!!!

FUCKING STOP RUNNING AT A MILLION FUCKING MILES AN HOUR. STOP ASSUMING I'M AN EVIL MASTERMIND WHO EXPECTS YOU TO DO EVERYTHING. JUST FUCKING STOP.

it's fucking MADDENING.

i wish i was fucking dead so she would deal w her shit instead of putting it all on me and acting like she's fucking fine. i'm tired.

all she sees me as is someone who embodies and encapsulates everything she hates about everyone else who's hurt her.

and we've had normal arguments and ups and downs and growing pains, but holy fucking SHIT. i haven't DONE those things to her! i'm not responsible for them!

i'm not my aunt or my grama just bc i'm mentally ill & disabled. i'm not my dad just bc i Experience Emotions and look vaguely like him. i'm not my brother just bc i share information or occasionally correct something.

i'm my own person w my own fucking flaws and problems and i'm tired of sitting here with this fucking knowledge abt how she treats me and she won't ever reflect on it or care.

whenever she gets depressed and in a bad mood, i'm the punching bag who represents everything and everybody she hates in the world and she doesn't even realize it.

what the fuck am i supposed to do with that? it makes it so i can't ever have bad times or be doing badly. when she's like this it's literally like i have nobody in the fucking world who gives a shit and can help me.

it's like literally no one on planet earth understands me or cares.

and i'm just. not worth it.

my jokes are mean, everything i say and do is judgmental and/or condescending, i'm selfish, i'm lazy, i'm awful. i'm dead weight. i'm worthless. i fucking get it. i'm not worth knowing, i'm not worth supporting. i'm not worth the effort it takes to look at your own shit and stop hurting me. i'm not worth a fraction of the effort i put in to try to not be awful to everyone around me, to try and grow as a person.

but i just don't even have a clear image of who or what i am because no one around me knows or cares or sees me as anything but One Thing or the same as other ppl and they don't investigate that at all.

literally had a friend who said she walked on eggshells around me when i would get upset--just like she does with her sister. meanwhile, i coludn't understand why she thought that of me. i literally asked, we had a normal conversation abt it. but at no point did she realize that comparing me to her sister was her OWN fucking problem. i don't have unmedicated bipolar disorder. i don't barge into her room screaming at her. i would get mildly upset and use swear words for dramatic or humorous flair. and at no point did she ever express any discomfort with it.

but also at no point did i give her or anyone else any reason to walk on eggshells around me. and what's fucking crazy is i explicitly asked for them to just ASK ME what i wanted or needed or how i was doing.

and nobody ever did it. they never asked me any questions like that, even after that.

ppl take their shit and put it on me and i'm just supposed to deal with it because I'M the asshole if i suggest they go to therapy or make that connection FOR them.

but i can sit here and make the connections btwn my trauma and bullying growing up and how my friends are behaving, and logically go "this isn't the same thing, but this is why i'm so upset and hurt by it" and try and communicate abt it while setting that trauma/baggage aside bc otherwise it's deeply unfair.

but no one else will do ANYTHING of the sort for me.

i am just the blank slate upon which they project all of their hatred and unexamined trauma. and that's all i'll ever be.

it's impossible to feel like a person, like a full person, when your disability and the pandemic shrink your world to nothing, and then your disabilities get WORSE and your world shrinks EVEN MORE (typing this is killing my hands, but what the fuck else am i going to do? i don't have anyone to talk to, and even if i did, it would still be typed), and the only ppl around you project their own shit onto you instead of trying to see you as you are.

i'm not perfect i don't see it all there's shit i do and feel that's definitely based in trauma that i don't have a full grasp on, and it took me weeks and happenstance to make the specific connection btwn my bullying & childhood trauma to how my friends were behaving and why it felt So Fucking Bad.

but i'm just. not worth any ounce of that effort in return. not even when i point it out or ask for things or lay things out. nothing changes. there's no discussion. i'm tired. i'm just simply not worth any of this. i'm not worth it. i'm not worth any effort. i'm just not.

and the fact that i'm effort always, regardless of what it is. like fucking christ alive. it's dirty, shitty, lousy work. and no one wants to do it.

and my therapist wants me to do dating apps. my mom's only suggestion to me is to find a partner.

doing that is literally the site and source of like 80% of my fucking trauma in life. there's a fucking pandemic. i'm in the middle of trying to figure out everything medically wrong with me so i can NOT be in CONSTANT PAIN. so i can maybe NOT be 500% burnt out every fucking day of my life, now.

but yeah, let's do the thing that distills down all of the social stuff that has ever traumatized me in my life and expose me to more trauma.

i'm sure my therapist is still pissed at me for not switching to the one she vetted for me. i legitimately had $80 at one point this week, and then i got lucky--got a tax credit & a pay check in the same week. and this new therapist is more expensive than her. and i'm not opposed to switching. but i'm just literally so exhausted.

i wanted to do so much today and now my mom is just. primed and ready to be mad at me.

she found out the thing she has is only a screwdriver and not a drill, meanwhile weeks and weeks ago i told her, don't we need a drill and not a screwdriver to hang my curtains? she said no it's fine.

now here we are, and lo and behold.

but don't worry, i'm a childlike idiot moron dipshit fucker who's worthless and lazy and stupid and doesn't know anything, like how to use vacuums.

what's the fucking point of anything