#I'm a mean bitter sociopath and I don't care about you

[only-man-in-the-sky]

I've gotten like three fucking asks wondering if my comments are directed at them. I don't fucking know. I see like 30 fucking people do it every fucking day so maybe it *was* you. impossible to say. but you've all kinda proven my point by immediately jumping down my throat about it

[ccrowsiie]

4/?

…To our inner circle, we were a couplet. Platonic soulmates, one of our mutual friends would call us. ___ and Crowsie. The best of buddies. Yeah, we had separate lives and hobbies but when we did link up, it was strong. That realization marked the Denial phase of the process. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that of all people, the closest person to me save my actual fucking life partner, was abandoning me. I was consumed with anxiety. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong and if I could rectify it. That's a running theme with my relationships or lack thereof. For reasons I've yet to parse, people don't like to tell me what or if I'm doing anything wrong. I only ever find out until they're ready to tell me off. I'd ask trusted people about it, and the most common answer I got was that people were afraid to speak up because I am 'scary'. Petite, sensitive little shrinking violet me. Scary. Sure, Jan. (I know a cop-out when I smell it) I'd started to spiral leading up to this. The foundations of my personhood had begun to break down on a molecular level. Like bricks alchemically shifting from stone to lime gelatin. Wobbly and see-through. I was a faun on a trampoline and it seemed nobody cared. Okay, saying nobody cared is bitter as hell. I only partially mean that. What I mean is that nobody thought it was that big of a deal? It's not that the people surrounding me didn't give a shit. I don't make a habit of surrounding myself with sociopaths, but I was told a lot that I should kinda get over it. Give him some more space. If he wants to come around, he'll come around. If he doesn't, tough shit. You can't force someone to give you attention or closure. The idea of pushing away my best friend was ...terrible. I didn't want to actively ruin one of the best things in my life. Even if it meant the end of our friendship, I wanted him to know that I was never actively malicious towards him. Funny enough, I was worrying for nothing… Because in truth, it was the exact opposite!

I've decided to explain what's been going on with me for the last few months. I figured I owe it to my mutuals since it's definitely going to affect my behavior going forward. I feel it's fair to say something now and maybe even apologize in advance.

In a nutshell: My best friend of 12 years ghosted (me and only me) for people he just met, destroying our relationship. In a coconut shell: One of the most important people in my life allowed our relationship to not just stagnate but actively die, willingly and knowingly breaking our social contract and my boundaries in favor of the adoration and attention from strangers and newer, fresher friends. The fallout sent me into a several months-long spiral that regressed my mental and physical health and led to the relapse of my most self-destructive addictions.

The full story, abridged (if you can believe it):

1/? CW, mentions of child abuse, drug use, mental health.

For clarity's sake, I'll be referring to him as 'Bestie'.

In the hierarchy of closeness, Bestie was right under my husband. Our relationship was 100% platonic but emotionally watertight. We had our disagreements like any pals would, but for the most part, we were siblings. We'd gone on vacations. We'd cooked meals together. We hung out for hours and hours over the many years of our friendship. It's safe to say that he was the closest thing I've ever had to an actual brother. …Because my real one totally sucks ass. I don't have a good relationship with my family. At. All. The majority of our interactions are made out of obligation. It was my dad's literal dying wish to at least try and reconcile with my mother after a lifetime of drugs and abuse. I've been trying my hardest, but dear God she makes it hard sometimes. My sister is alright, I tend to keep her at arm's length because she's a control freak (eldest daughter syndrome + history of abuse) but to say that my relationship with my brother is antagonistic would be a massive understatement. I usually say 'We don't get along' and keep it at that, but it goes deeper. We barely tolerate each other… for reasons I can't understand. I was born dead last in my family, the next oldest sibling is 13 years my senior. Despite the age gap, I may as well have been born the middle child, because bro didn't give up his youngest spot. Both he and my mother show signs of classic narcissism.

You may be thinking to yourself, "Crow, not everyone you dislike is a narc just because your personalities clash~' Save it, please. Don't speak on what you don't know. My mother and brother are a classic narcissistic binary star system. Mother and her golden child. They revolve around each other in a borderline emotionally incestuous way. They do drugs together. She coddles him to an insane degree. He did not move out or get his first job until his 40s. Mom didn't parent me so much as she let me live in her house so she could collect a check from my dad. When I wasn't being actively abused by her husband (won't go into detail here, but know that he was my primary abuser, as he was also her abuser and to a lesser extent my sister's) I was almost always being actively neglected, sometimes in favor of brother. Like, locked out of/into rooms or told to go away whenever she didn't need me for something. Especially in my formative years (age 5-10), when mom was still shooting dope and leaving me alone for days at a time or bringing me around the men she'd shoot up with. I almost lost her to drug-related violence and she almost lost me to the state a couple of times. Eventually, she found a way to have her cake (me, child support check generator) and eat it too (heroin and crack). While she gained sobriety from hard drugs just before I entered middle school, the neglect and other forms of abuse persisted through the remainder of my childhood, until I enlisted in the military out of desperation.

So with all of that boo hoo hoo shit out of the way, it's safe to say that I have a bit of a -thing- surrounding abandonment.

[danwhobrowses]

House of the Dragon - Eps 1&2 Thoughts and Review

Fire cannot kill a dragon, and yet we can afford to be burned twice.

In Spite of the bitter taste of Game of Thrones' finale, I like many others have plunged myself into House of the Dragon with tempered expectation of the prequel. Now that the first two episodes are out - and totally not because I forgot to do a standalone one for episode 1 - I'm gonna start giving my blind thoughts on the matter.

To be clear, I'm not super familiar with this story, I know it's covered in a book and other reactors inform me that the book has two unreliable accounts (a Maester and a Court Jester) and this is a 'how it really happened' version for the tv version rather than the book version - so there are some changes and age ups - but otherwise I am blind to the direction it's going, so here's my thoughts on it.

Spoilers for the first two episodes of course, and a bit of Game of Thrones too, give them a watch first if you don't want some plot points ruined for you

So this is a good start, I think I am still a bit hesitant to go fully into it but I am liking what I'm seeing so far.

The first episode was good but I must admit I found myself more unsettled than entertained, purely because of the graphic C-Section scene and the presence of pus, I mean I never wanted to see it with the Jorah greyscale scene and I didn't want it here either, same with the sound of choking babies, it was perhaps too uncomfortable. I think the dragon CGI looked a bit wonky at times, it could be the gold on Syrax is just not great for CGI (I'm sure we all recall The Witcher's golden dragon) or perhaps the smoothness of its scales. I do feel 50/50 on the frequent need to reference Game of Thrones even though it's a prequel, on one hand I get it because it bridges the gap but on the other hand if this show is a prequel by over a century it's a little too on the nose.

Episode 2 was a lot better, but I think it suffered a narrative flaw of 'character a does not talk to character b' when it came to Viscerys announcing his marriage to Alicent, he made no effort to even discuss with Rhaenyra his intent to wed her best friend, which will inevitably start the rift between them showed in the trailers. It also doesn't make Viscerys look any better to go against his better counsel and alienating one of his strongest allies because Laena Velayron is 12, especially when Alicent is apparently around 15. The time jump is a little abrupt, though I feel that we may have more to come.

I will praise heavily the attention to detail when it comes to costuming, something the GoT universe hadn't ever had a problem with thriving on, but I will say that sometimes it does look like the helmets don't fit as well as they should. Then again, this could be an intentional design flaw since this is considered a more peaceful period of Westeros.

I like the characters so far, mostly at the least. So far the star of the show is Matt Smith's Daemon Targaryen, the sociopath prince who has become social media's latest beloved bastard, both cunning and childish he fits a balance of being a villain but also one who still cares about his family. Rhaenyra and Alicent's younger actors have done really well, as has Rhys Ifans' Otto Hightower. Paddy Considine has been really good as the grieving king Viscerys I, completing subverting the descendant of his namesake we're familiar with by appearing at the least as a fair King and a decent person put under a lot of pressure by traditions. Sian Brooke did very well as Queen Aemma, given how she would be the first major casualty of the show, it is a shame we won't get more of her. Episode 2 got to showcase Eve Best's Rhaenys (George making it really easy to second guess every Targaryen's name and spelling) and Steve Toussaint's Corlys a bit more but we still need more of them, same for Graham McTavish's Ser Harrold and Fabien Frankel's Criston Cole, who have simply looked formidable among the crowd. We are yet to have a slew of charismatic characters equal to Tyrion, Tywin, Cersei, Ned, Arya, Bronn, Littlefinger, The Hound and Varys, but we can give it time.

Story-wise, I wish we had more time with Rhaenyra and Alicent before their rift, they established their friendship well but it probably would've hit deeper if we had more time with them, I understand the time jump but we could've had a bit more in between. While I don't think Daemon's a good guy, or that he'd be the worst king (more that he'd be a ruthless one), I do agree with him that the Small Counsel are trying to manipulate Viscerys for their own gains, seen most blatantly by Otto and Corlys throwing their daughters at him. Daemon being rescinded as an heir is grief-driven, especially since we never see him say it, but Daemon's reaction to it as detailed in Episode 2 doesn't do him any favours towards making it seem unfair. Viscerys as I pointed out is a good guy, but he seriously needs to work on his communication, from not telling Aemma his choice to let her die to try and save his son, to not discussing his marriage decisions with anyone or even trying to prepare his daughter for the throne, there is a difference between 'You will learn' and 'Let me teach you'. Alicent seems sweet, for now at least Arya and Daenerys once seemed sweet too, she is in a tough spot that makes me sympathise with her, I don't sympathise with Corlys as much, Viscerys should have married his daughter (or at least sought another way to merge their houses) but his own reaction going straight to Daemon proves that his ambitions are greater than his loyalty.

Of the two episodes I think my favourite scenes so far have been the jousting tournament - both for its visual spectacle but also as a strong introduction to Cole to what I guess will set up a feud between the two - and Viscerys confronting Daemon from Episode 1, and the Dragonstone standoff from Episode 2, not in that order though. The show has promise but since we're still in 'setup' we'll see on the next episode if it can up the ante.

[whengeorgiawentblue]

Dude, speculating whether or not somebody faked a break down is a mean thing to do, It doesn't matter who the subject is, mental health is a serious matter. JP is not my favorite person either, but this kind of especulation can do harm, just think that he's a stranger to us, we are not part of his life, and we don't know what he might have gone trough.

You should not asume things like that, based on twitter, even if he said awful things at some point.

Don't lower yourself to the level of those assholes who call themselves his fans, who we know are terrible people and don't care about hurting others.

Don't cross the line of no return, or you won't be any better than them.

To be honest, I had no idea Jared attempted to commit suicide. However I do think (from what I heard) he could have exaggerated his depression for the sake of... idk, you all know how Jarpad behaves. Of course that's only my opinion.

But then, I got this anon (obviously from a Jared stan):

And I asked myself... what should I do? Should I backtrack and consider I might be wrong? Or should I just say "yes! he fake it!" and see the Jared fandom up in flames?

And then I remembered all the horrible and baseless things they have said about Misha, like accussing him of pedophilia, using Gish as a money laundering, calling him a drunk and mocking his divorce.

The horrible things they said about Dee, calling her a "beard", a manipulative woman only interested in Jensen's money and fame, and basically calling her a whore.

And the awful things they say about Jensen, specially after the prequelgate, accussing him of drink problems and of being a sociopath, and wishing the worst for The Winchesters and his role in The Boys.

I know not all Jared fans are like this, but a big bunch of them are like this, proportionally much bigger than in the Heller and AAs fandom, and much nastier.

So I thought: "you know what? Fuck everything and everybody. I want to see the Jarpad fandom in flames."

So I said YES HE FAKE IT.

Even if I know what I said it's wrong, and even if I know you two have to moral highground to tell me that what I have said is wrong, them, the Jared stans, have no moral at all. At best, they are as immoral as me. Because I still haven't seen any of them apologizing or even acknowledging what Jared said when Philip Seymour Hoffman commited suicide. And it's worse because he actually killed himself.

So, I agree with you, you are right. And yet I'm going to keep my middle finger to the Jared stans. I want to see them furious and bitter because they deserve it. They are not really concerned about mental health issues, they only care about their fave.

(to the 2nd anon: I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I also know I fucked up and I hurt people with my words)

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

A short thread I found about Gojo's character that helps shine a light to how caring he is:

https://twitter.com/musikawu/status/1376984416485007363?s=19

Also, I actually just realized this recently after rewatching JJK that Gojo got super attached to Yuji really quickly. Gojo not only got very angry on his behalf but went out of his way to ask Nanami for help in caring for Yuji when he's supposed to be the strongest sorcerer. And at that time, Gojo made it clear to Nanami that he didn't ask him to do so due to Yuji's potential as a vessel. Gojo asked Nanami for this favor as an adult who wants to see the growth of a young man. Gojo was very precise in telling Nanami that he was looking not at Sukuna and Yuji's power, but at Yuji himself as not only an individual, but a child that needed nurturing and care. Before Yuji's death, Gojo had already even made preparations to have Yuta take care of Yuji cause he knew something might happen to him- even more development is that despite what Gojo says about himself, he's aware of his own flaws. What he appears to be on the outside is nothing like what he truly feels on the inside. He doesn't delude himself into narcissistic behavior that makes him unable to ask for help. He asks for help willingly and of his own accord- Yuta couldn't even fathom how the strongest sorcerer would face a problem he couldn't solve on his own, but Gojo does. Gojo is smart enough to know he needs to rely on others to move forward, and relying on someone means putting a certain amount of trust there. Gojo puts just as much faith in other people as he does himself, and the interesting part is that while it's more admirable to go out of your way to protect someone else, Gojo never brags about that. He only "brags" about things that will annoy the other person, but really he is only saying a commonly known "truth" in order to rile people up. It may sound like bragging- which it sort of is- but Gojo saying he's the strongest is not a lie. Him saying "I alone am the honoured one" is not necessarily a lie either. People don't call him the Strongest for nothing.

In fact, even more interestingly enough, besides Gojo, who includes Geto when people talk about the "strongest?" Despite being the definite "strongest," Gojo is the one who constantly says "We are the Strongest," not the other way around. He's also mature enough to recognize and point out other people's strengths, such as Mei Mei's, saying she is too strong to cry.

If Gojo truly was a narcissist, he would have mentioned everything else he's done for people, like stopping Megumi's sale to the Zenin clan and getting the Fushiguros financial aid. He could brag about being persuasive enough to save Yuji from execution or even saving Yuta from execution- Yuta becoming a special grade sorcerer soon after Gojo saved him is something you can easily brag about- but Gojo doesn't brag about his personal achievements at all- not in the way that demands respect from others, at least. Gojo only "brags" to tease others lightheartedly and to tick them off a little- and I don't think the demeaning things Gojo says to the higher ups can be used to show he's a narc because *many* people in Gojo's position would have said (and done) much, much worse things.

Also, when Yuji died, Gojo had become so emotional that even Shoko, who had been there since Gojo's youth, had commented on how unlike him it was. People irl really thought it was because Gojo couldn't use him as a weapon against the higher ups anymore, but reading how Gojo had told Nanami that he saw their relationship as an adult and a child makes me think differently. Something very important in the Light Novel is when Gojo tells Nanami that his students, because they are sorcerers, will soon have to "face the evil intentions of sh*tty humans." Not only sorcerers, but "every person has to bite into that bitterness, know what it means to give up, and pile up despairs to become an adult." People like Gojo and Nanami, Gojo had said, are capable of withstanding and releasing the "poison" that runs through the heart. However, the youngsters are more sensitive in that age, and "one poison could destroy their hearts" (I'm sure Gojo was thinking of Geto as he said this). That's why he wants to leave Yuji in the care of Nanami, "an adult who understands other people pain." Not that Gojo is unable to understand pain, but in the earlier events of the Light Novel as context, Gojo is faced with a mother who is mourning the loss of her child. While Nanami tries to gently comfort her and secretly find information on the cursed spirit at the same time using vague words, Gojo's words are straight forward and to the point, which startles the mother. It's not necessarily a bad things, however- Gojo's words had ended up allowing the mother to see her situation as it was without delusions, a tough love situation, so to speak, and the two were able to confirm their intel to be correct. It was Gojo who helped her to heal quicker by allowing her to realize her problem through his cutting words, but I'm sure Gojo realizes his "bad personality,"- which isn't really so bad in some cases- isn't for everyone. Gojo is very aware that people react negatively to his behavior, even if he is unable to understand just how deeply they despise him (*cough* Utahime) In that way, Gojo shows he cares very much for Yuji's mental growth, even in that short period of time, by entrusting his care to Nanami, who he comments would do a much better job than be could.

Therefore, I think Gojo might actually get attached to people more quickly than it might seem like. He also thinks very deeply and no matter how he acts, he's able to recognize others' strengths and acknowledge his own flaws- this is a key part of his character because he doesn't delude himself in his position as the Strongest. To those who think Gojo sees himself as a God, he is far from that behavior, and he is self aware enough to know that people need more to grow than just power and strength. Unfortunately, it seems most people either despise Gojo or are too enamoured by his looks to see past the surface of the more boisterous and childish part of his personality. That's likely the main reason he finds it hard to commit, too.

(More ranting 😭. There was this reddit post saying Gojo's narcissistic enough to be a more evil villain than Sukuna, that he would actually end up becoming the villain- like really??? And so many people really agreed that he's incapable of feeling true emotions that it's absurd. I really can't believe they even think Gojo has a God complex. Someone with a God complex, like most of the other disorders, wouldn't be able to admit their own flaws, let alone ask for help! The fact that Gojo even admits to having a "bad personality" is another tell against that. Sometimes I wonder if people are just projecting, but I also realize it's hard to differentiate between being an ENTP and being a sociopath because of how- on the surface- they seem so similar! But if you just dig a little deeper to look at their roots, they are so completely different it's a wonder how you'd get confused in the first place)

- 🤔

OH I COULDN'T AGREE MORE 🤔 anon here spitting FACTS. Yeah alot of people think gojo's a narcissist with huge ego but that ain't the case at all as explained above. I mean he was put on a pedestal since birth he gotta have some ego in that but that fact doesnt blind him. yeah sure he's the strongest but just one line "I'm the strongest" doesn't mean he's bragging it may sound like it but he's just stating facts he is indeed in fact the strongest in the jujutsu society. He knows he can't do everything on his own I mean why did he even become a teacher in the first place? Becuz he wants to make the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers stronger! No one asked him to do it he himself wanted to be a teacher even though at time he sucks at it.

He genuinely wants to do good not just for himself but for others as well. As interesting as the concept of Gojo becoming a villain it will never happen. Don't judge a damn book by it's cover even if it's a very attractive one hes just such an interesting character its shame most people don't see that.

[deathwishdaydream]

Dear Universe, Up Yours!

Chapter 3

I think my problem is my impatience. I'm not good to be around people and I reject everybody because they won't do the things that I expect them to do in every bitter encounter. That was why I didn't have any friends or planned to make any. It didn't make me feel good to spit crude remarks and rejection promptly in everyone's faces, but it didn't make me feel any guilt or pity either. I was just numb to it, which was probably why it was so simple for me to make people go away. I know that whole reaction might be bad. That this tragic apathy was far from normal. That maybe I could be some sort of cynical, inept sociopath. It makes sense, sort of. Though, I feel like if that was really the case, then why did I continue talking to Gerard? Apologize to him for my behavior and possessing authentic sympathy? Especially frantically attempting to endure the conversation as much as I could, as if my brain would straight up detonate if the atmosphere, even for just a few seconds, had been entirely devoid of his voice. Why did I care so much? It was like I was holding myself at gunpoint and I didn't know why. But maybe everything was so simple and I just genuinely wanted someone to talk to. But I don't think I want to believe that. And I don't think I could if I even wanted to. I tried to imagine this sort of interaction with everybody else in my head, and I knew it would just end in revulsion and intolerance. I didn't want them. I wanted Gerard. But I don't know why. I've never had a full and abundant conversation with anyone but myself, if that even counts. I've never had a conversation where I wanted it to last. Which was why everything felt like uncharted territory.

But I like being alone.

I looked at the boy who had been beside me.

I liked being alone...

He looked at me once he noticed my eyes on him. That shy, small baby face giving a look of interest and question.

I think I want somebody's presence.

I got out of whatever trance I was in, took the headphones off my neck, brought them over my head, and handed the pair back to him. He grabbed it with ease, thanking me, and put it back around his neck. I nodded in response to his gratitude because I'd rather not say it. Then I paused before I would say anything at all right now, trapped in thought. And the idea of leaving this place had preciously lingered in my fucked-up mind.

"Did you drive your car here to school?" I asked him, referring to how he'd drive me to the convenience store after school.

"Oh, um, yeah," Gerard replied rather stiffly. When he would talk so briefly, he sounded a bit weird. His voice would usually only get clearer in longer sentences.

"Okay," I replied quietly. But then I thought again for a brief moment. I wanted something and I knew exactly what it was.

"I wanna go now."

"What?" Gerard asked, perceptibly caught off guard. It wasn't an immediate response; his eyes were the first to respond before any words had come out.

I let out a prolonged breath. "I want to leave. I want to go now."

"You mean, ditch school?" There was a minor hint of panic in his voice, but overall, and somehow, he still seemed calm. I think it was his lips or eyebrows that gave me that placid impression. Anyways, I'm sure there wouldn't be any kind of dreadful consequence if we had ditched. But I wasn't really sure what Gerard cared about, after seeing his reaction. It couldn't really have been school. Maybe his dignity? Maybe guilt had just swallowed him whole, and has been for a long time.

"Yes," I answered plainly, neglecting his pitiful apprehension. "Do you want me to be more specific? I want us to go outside and climb the fence, go to the parking lot, get your fucking car, and drive away to the convenience store." It was enunciated quite slowly as if I was explaining to a child what they shouldn't put in their mouth. It was a bit hard not to baby him with that soft face and voice.

"I don't know if I ca-"

I interrupted him without even thinking. "What are your parents like? Are they strict, are they neglectful?"

"They're... fine," he responded timidly.

"So how would they react if they found out you ditched?" I asked, watching his face adjust to his cogitating psyche. I tried to imagine how Gerard would get punished. Would they take away his music or something?

"They'd ask if I had a reason for it. If it's valid enough, they'll let it go. They're not that strict," he explained bashfully, once more. He wasn't embarrassed, though. He was intimidated. By me.

I took a deep breath, trying to think things through, without considering if he still wanted to leave at this moment. "Okay. Then here's the deal: you tell them that I was sick and I had to go home but my 'neglectful' parents wouldn't pick me up, so you offered to. And instead, you'll take me to the store, let me buy myself the shit I want, then you take me home." I elaborated, seeing Gerard raise his eyebrows in uncertainty. "You could go back to the school if you want or just do whatever you want after that."

There was something on his mind about this because I could see his hesitation while attempting to speak. "Are... your parents really neglectful?" he asked incredibly gingerly.

"No, they're... well, they're fine, I guess," I replied, giving the same response that he gave almost a minute ago. "The only thing they neglect is conflict, though." I muttered, being brought back to the times they've told me to just let things go. Whenever I look back on my parents and their whole carefree agenda, it kind of pisses me off. "But anyways, do you agree with the plan?"

"Do you... really have to go to the store right now?" he asked cautiously, trying his best not to offend or anger me. He caught on to my galling behavior.

"I just don't want to be here," I said dismally, looking at him, and I knew I had this sort of self-pity expression going on because all at once, I had felt all the muscles in my face just give up. "Do you?"

He paused, the silence becoming even louder than the chattering of students in the cafeteria, as I desperately anticipated his profound reply. "Well... No," he finally answers. Good.

"Okay," I began calmly, nodding my head. "Then let's fucking go," I urged,

[ "At the Hop"  by Danny & The Juniors playing]

standing up from my seat, the same dinner table style, and marched urgently towards the door that would lead to the fields outside. Gerard had quickly got up at the same time, grabbed his backpack, and followed. I pushed the door open and walked across the field and pavement, among everyone else, heading to the gap between the two separate facility buildings, where the narrow gate to utter freedom would be. I felt a presence behind me and immediately knew that it was Gerard, as he had finally caught up with me. We both gazed dubiously at the elegant gate in front of us. It wasn't really a challenge at all to climb, but it was mildly formidable, if I were to be honest.

"You have your car keys ready?" I asked, feeling a rush of adrenaline as I saw his hands reach in his pocket to pull out his keys. He jingled them in front of me and I actually smiled at this.

I then gripped the gate's black bars. I looked at Gerard and nodded and jumped up, climbing the gate as I moved each hand up, trying to keep my feet glued to the bars until I went to the top and jumped from there to the other side. It was a bit tiring, I've got to admit. There were some dumbfounded looks from the other kids that were out in the quad, which is why I needed Gerard to go faster. He started to climb it, the keys in between his teeth, and reached the top, jumping down on the ground next to me. He then took the keys in his hands again.

"Hurry," I urged and ran as he followed, reaching the huge parking lot. "Which one's your car, man?" There was an overwhelming amount of vehicles, though you could easily tell that the bright crimson sporty one was a jock's precious baby.

"The silver one," he called out, running somewhere in the maze of a parking lot. It was weirdly set up, so it caused a lot of traffic in the morning.

"There's literally fifty fucking silver cars here, Gerard!" I shouted in frustration, my eyes trailing to each silver vehicle in range, but he seemed to have found his car once he stopped by one, and was able to get inside. I ran towards him and opened the passenger seat door of his, what appeared to be, a Subaru XT, getting inside and sitting on the gray fabric of the seat. It weirdly had the 'new car smell' but I was pretty sure he was gifted this last year. I landed on something weird that interfered with how I was sitting, but I ignored it to shut the door. Gerard was in the driver's seat, the door closed already, and turned the key in the ignition switch, starting the engine. We both put on our seatbelts, nearly in unison, and Gerard had begun to back up the car. Curious about what I was sitting on, I slightly got up from my seat and grabbed whatever was below me, slipping it out and placing it on my lap. They were two Marvel comics. Holy shit.

"You're a nerd!" I chuckled, looking at the finely detailed covers, then at him, his side profile as his eyes were preoccupied to get us out of the parking lot. He looked embarrassed and had gulped as we finally drove outside of the school campus. "Spiderman's my favorite," I added, placing the comics in the glove compartment, then opening my window after.

I then saw him smile modestly in pleasure. I could see the relief in his eyes. He was probably judged before for this. "Likewise," he said simply.

I grinned clumsily at his response. It was weird how many times I have smiled today. I don't think I've ever felt actual, bona fide exuberance before. The feelings rush throughout my body, feelings I thought I could never obtain if I remained in this town any longer.

The drive wasn't very talkative, though. Probably because I wasn't the talkative kind of person, and neither was Gerard. But it was pretty short anyway, so the silence wasn't agitating at all. I felt the frigid wind hysterically enter through my open window, striking my face delicately. It was a different sort of breeze I felt before, compared to the one back at school. This felt appeasing. And over time, I'd take a glance at Gerard. He was smiling. Actually smiling. He looked proud, it was a cheeky, wide smile. And I think that was the first time I saw him genuinely smile. And it was inarguably stunning.

Imminently, we arrived at a convenience store by the gas station and he parked at the front, switching off the engine afterward. I took off my seatbelt and breathed softly, looking at him, being reminded of what was actually going on.

[ "At the Hop"  stops playing]

I recalled in my head what I had said to him before: "You'll take me to the store, let me buy myself the shit I want, then you take me home." I then knew that this would end after. Hanging out with Gerard, I mean. Then everything might just go back to normal the next day. I wasn't primarily sure I wanted that to happen.

I opened the door and got out of the car, slamming it closed. I then kneeled down to the open window, looking at him. "You coming?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't uh need to get anything," he said daintily, yet his eyes were beaming. "Un-unless you want me to come with-" he reached for the handle of his door instantly, feeling like he had messed up again. It was never him, though. I just had stupid outbursts for no apparent reason.

"It's fine," I interrupted before he could even pull on the door handle. He nodded graciously, and reluctantly dropped his left hand from the handle, placing it on his thigh. "I won't be long," I said, walking toward the doors of the convenience store, hearing my shoes lightly tap on the sidewalk. I was a bit angry at myself, I think. I didn't want Gerard to feel sulkily obligated to make me content so I don't immoderately lash out at him again. I don't want to anymore, no matter what he does. I just don't want him to leave me alone because of it.

I opened the narrow convenience store's door, hearing the small jingle of the bell that had been attached to it, and then stepped inside. I began to aimlessly walk around, going through most of the shelves and skimming its products. I grabbed bubble gum, then beef jerky. I found Coca-Cola cans by the fridge area, next to the revolting Coke II's, scoffing at the sight of them. Who had the moronic idea to make a second coke? It tastes like watered-down coke with extra sugar. It was exactly like Pepsi if it had as much sugar as Coke. I grabbed two cans of the original Coke instead and a bag of chips. I then went to the register to pay for everything.

"Would you like to pay extra for a bag?" The cashier asked cordially, moving her front strand of black hair behind her ear. She had to wear this tacky store uniform with the bright colors that had matched the gas station logo. I felt bad for her once I saw it blind my eyes. I wonder if her boss was one of those obnoxious peppy business people.

"No thanks," I finally replied, lacking emotion after handing her the money for the stuff I bought. "Keep the change." I opened one of the items I bought and put it in my left front pocket, throwing away the packaging. Just wanted to be safe if I wanted to actually run away one day. I would leave alone, right?

I gathered all the other stuff, pushed the store door, and walked out to Gerard's car, opening its door and getting inside. Closing it shut, with all the items I bought on my lap, I sighed, looking at the store through the car window in front of me. Shit.

My peripheral vision had caught Gerard looking at me. I think he was worried that I didn't say anything yet. "You- You got everything you needed?" he asked.

I nodded, lacking any words. I felt something wrong, which was why I couldn't speak. I needed to think.

"What's your address? Should I take you home now, then?"

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. Fuck this.

Everything, especially with my feelings, happened so abysmally sudden. Now I felt like I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I also still felt the necessity of me being alone too. I had mixed feelings, I felt so confounded, in a dilemma. I think I might just want to be alone, but maybe with Gerard. I found him interesting at first and I felt like... he was an answer. An answer to a question I didn't even know, at least yet. My mind was scrambled and nonsensical. I then thought about all those times I was sitting on the bench at the park, my feet reaching the keen grass, drenched with dew, or even feeling the brown crisp dirt. And how I wanted something more in life. I think that right now was my only chance, the only time I could escape. And Gerard was an outlet, a passage. I hesitantly opened my eyes. And I felt a wave of ridiculous dismay.

"I don't wanna go home."

I turned my head and finally faced him, frowning as I felt my eyes soften. The same, unintentional self-pity face I couldn't control. Gerard gulped. He was probably so confused. I get it. "Okay," he breathes and pauses. "W-where do you wanna go?"

And it was all so simple. "Anywhere but here."

"Okay," he replied, starting the engine.

He backed up from the parking spot and drove away. I looked at the view in front of me after we pulled out. The road, the dull-colored buildings, the bright traffic lights that stood out in the gray. I think we were leaving. We were leaving this place, and it felt particularly bittersweet.

"You okay?" he asks, which catches me off guard. Oh.

"I'm, um, fine. You?" I answered. I think I was. I do feel that way.

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm good."

Or maybe Gerard sees something that I couldn't. I feel fine. Why does he have to ask? What was the point?

"I'm just gonna get something from my house, that fine?" he added, allowing me to patently relinquish those foolish thoughts. I instead, wondered what his place looked like. Maybe his house was pretty short or something.

I then nodded to his answer him. "Yeah,"

He drove to his house and we arrived at a small neighborhood. There weren't any cars present in the driveway of his house. And I was right. It was a short house. It was surrounded by a stubby brick gate and there were plenty of thin stairs that would lead to the front door.

"Your parents aren't home?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows, scanning around his front yard and the houses around his through the window.

"Yeah, they're um probably grocery shopping," he said, turning off the engine after he had parked perfectly on the side. It was a random detail, but Gerard was incredible at driving. But I wasn't sure how credible that was, since I couldn't even drive myself.

"Can I come?" I asked as I saw him look through his window, hand finally pulling on the door handle.

"Um, sure," he replied, getting out of the car, as I opened my door to follow.

We walked to the front door of the house and Gerard got his keys out, finding the right one and placing it into the lock. We both got inside once he was able to open the door and then he shut it behind me afterward. It was a pretty small, but cozy house. It kind of smelled like a thrift store in here.

"Just gonna get something from my room. Will be back shortly," he informed. His posture was a bit weird as he stood, though. Did he have, like, scoliosis or something?

"Yeah," I said in response. "Cool."

He walked up the stairs to the second floor, and I had a small look around while he was gone. There were some photographs of him and his parents, but also a younger boy. Except, the photo did look a little older, so Gerard could have been maybe 15 or 16 at that time. He looked super young though, even though this could have been taken a year or more ago. It was professionally taken, too, I was able to tell. I guess he was in one of those kind of families.

He came back from upstairs as I heard his soft footsteps, and appeared with a different jacket on this time, as well as a yellow and navy scarf draped over his neck. It was true, he came back pretty quick. He was holding at least three other cassette tapes in his left hand. He noticed me standing by the picture frames, then walked toward me.

"Who's that?" I asked him, pointing to the other boy in the photo that was beside him.

He coughed slightly. He was suddenly uncomfortable. "That's my brother," he answered, rather in a mumble. "He's... um, in Glendale,"

"No way, your brother lives in California?" I reacted quickly as he slowly nods in response. I bet California was nice. "That's cool," My attention switched instantly to the other cassettes he had in his hands. "What're all those?"

"Just some oldies and, um, Britpop," he stated, walking towards the front door. I followed him, and before he could even open the door, it twisted a few times until it opened from the other side. There were two adults, most definitely Gerard's parents. Shit.

The woman was blonde and looked older than I would expect. She had this kind of intimidating look on her thin face. She was wearing a rich amount of pasty makeup, but it had fit her very well. There was a hint of sass in her red lips and thick mascara. The man next to her, Gerard's father, wore small rectangular glasses, which had reminded me of Mr. Bradford. He had short brown hair, but not as dark as Gerard's since he was getting pretty old.

"Gee?" his mother asked in utmost bewilderment, taking a few steps inside. "No wonder why your car's outside. Shouldn't you be at school?" She had a very strong and marvelous Jersey accent. It sounded unreal. Then she looked at me for a while, examining me, then looked right back at Gerard, perplexed. "Who's this, your friend?" I think I froze.

"Umm, well," Gerard stuttered. He was uncertain and panicked, I could tell. He turned to look at me and his eyes had traveled to the door. I wasn't sure if this was some kind of incisive and unpremeditated signal, but I really hoped I have perceived it correctly.

"Well? Aren't you gonna tell us what's going on?" his father asked firmly, crossing his arms. It was a very 'dad thing' to do, with that whole stance.

Then so suddenly, Gerard pushed through his parents, running to his car, and I quickly followed, my heart beating rapidly. I heard his parents yell after him as we got inside the car, locking it immediately and he turned on the engine, anxiously looking back and forth at the ignition switch to his baffled parents outside and to the car dashboard. Everything was happening so quickly again. They had run after us, walking down those stumpy brick steps, and before they could even start banging on the car window, Gerard briskly drove away, tires screeching magnificently as he made a sharp U-turn. He was definitely extraordinary at driving. I was entertained at his sudden audaciousness as we pulled out of the neighborhood, back on the half-empty road.

He fetched one of the cassettes that were on his lap and tried to hand it to me as his eyes were crucially planted on the road. "Play something," he says simply, and I heard the smirk in his voice. He was satisfied to leave in such a matter. Without looking at what songs it included, I inserted the cassette into the deck and waited for something to start playing.

[ "Runaway"  by Del Shannon playing on car stereo]

I turned the volume a bit louder as a song started to play sweetly through the car's speakers. Gerard was smiling, the same true smile I saw before, as he looked straight ahead on the road and I smiled at him. I don't think I've cared at all about seeing someone I've met smile for the first time. It makes sense, it shouldn't be that important. But because of the kind of person Gerard was, it was so oddly valuable to me. I'd keep the memory of his significant beaming in the car that had occurred many minutes ago. This was important.

I felt like, as we drove away, we were heading into the sunset, the edge of the world, like one of those old, western movies from the 60s or 70s. Except, fuck the directors and creators of High Plains Drifter and Clint Eastwood for doing it. I've always had a hatred for that movie and its poor excuse of "that was what it was like by then" to include shitty and pointless scenes.

But more importantly, maybe more than anything right now, was that I felt the vicious weight of captivity no longer on my chest, and I completely felt free as we passed by our school and all the familiar, shitty buildings and shops that I hope I'd never see again.

"Is this it?" I asked ambiguously, but still so riant by our impulsive escape. I was still a bit wary about Gerard. I didn't know exactly if he wanted this. Sure, that smirk told me he felt good, but how would he feel when all the adrenaline wears out? However, this was the closest chance I had to leave this place immediately. I should only be concerned about myself and boisterously carry on. But Gerard has been making me feel absurdly strange ever since that lunch. I looked at him and his eyes and watched his hands artistically grip the steering wheel. "Are you gonna really run away with me? Your lab partner from school? You're really willing?"

"Sure," he said simply, turning his head to look at me with a smile, and just for a bit as his eyes went back on the road. It was a short response, but I knew in that grin that those words meant way more. "Fuck it, right?" Shit. I was pleased to hear him curse again. It was like he was gradually becoming comfortable around me. That he was completely okay.

"Yeah," I replied to him, watching everything pass by swiftly through the dusty window on my right. I took a quiet, yet fast and deep inhale, as if I had been underwater for so long, relieved and blissful as I exhaled smoothly. It felt good. I looked at Gerard again, to my left. And everything started to feel right. "Fuck it."

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Were there any episodes in season 3 where you felt they could've been written better? I'm only asking because I had some ideas I wanted to share with people about fixing them since, to me, the season started becoming a mess around The Phantom and the Sorceress. And the episodes don't need to be outright bad, there could just be parts in it you didn't like.

Oof. I've been a bit loud and obnoxious about certain episodes for sure 😅 I'll try to briefly sum up a few.

Also I'm just gonna say, some of these are just I don't like what they did rather than any huge fundamental problems like the finale.

Also disclaimer. This is not an attack on anyone who likes these episodes! Nobody has to agree with me! If you like these episodes cool! Glad you got something out of it! This is just Tombs being a nit pick loud mouth.

Rumble for Ragnarok

I can't complain too much about this one as it was still entertaining. Norse is part of my heritage and I'm a fan of the mythology which was on full display this episode. My only real issue this episode is that the message gets a little lost at least on me. And then two is I think out of all the episodes this one is the one that could absolutely be thrown out without losing anything really important. Trade this episode for something different. Something more important.

The Forbidden Fountain of the Forever Glades

Scrooge's behavior and leaving Webby in the jungle was painful to watch. (Much as I don't like the finale twist, the twist actually makes this episode worse.) [Also so much for Goldie's "fresh start" when in Split Sword of Swanstitine later showed she once again attempted to double cross Scrooge. Yeah. Fresh start. Totallyyyy.] Goldie is a fun character and I can't hate her too much. The episode has its merits and definitely still think this episode should be around but Scrooge's behavior here really kills me. Thankfully at the end he does better but ugh. It's low on the overall ranking for me based on how he behaves and treats Webby.

New Gods on the Block

I actually really love this episode but Storkules was pissing me off too much 😂 Nit pick for sure. I love this himbo but got dangit he was making me so mad. I get it was kinda important for the overall plot but come on we got so little Donsy content that it was frustrating that he was so intrusive.

The First Adventure

Nit picking again. I think it's kinda random how in the span of a few hours a hard ass like Scrooge went from "my obnoxious niece and nephew" to "my heirs and beloved family." I guess it's possible but not a fan of that kind of writing. For me it would make more sense that they had several adventures or at least more time with them before they became "his heirs" in his eyes. Extreme nit picking on my part though, the episode isn't bad at all really. Also no Hortense and Quackmore. Yes they were named. (Or she was) No we never got to see them. Rude! This was actually a really good episode though overall again I just have some minor nit picks.

The Fight for Castle McDuck

Okay this one is also kind of a nit pick but it's more like based on the episode's timing. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that Webby "Knower of all things Clan McDuck" has no idea that a family of Scots fights a lot. I can somewhat forgive it though as she's young and isn't as familiar with this side of the family in the flesh. But it's so weird how this late into the show we're seeing this?? I think I would have liked this episode more if it had popped up earlier into season 3 rather than so late? It just was a kinda weird episode and not the most enjoyable but the timing I think made it worse. Also the no mention of Hortense again. Referring to Matilda as the youngest when that's supposed to be Hortense? It's really not the worst episode. It just feels a bit off to me and again to me mostly the timing of it. Could have been better, could have been worse.

How Santa Stole Christmas

THROW THIS EPISODE INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE. HATE HATE HATE IT. THIS ONE ACTUALLY MAKES ME RAGE.

This episode is actually worse for me than the finale. Literally I consider this episode the worst in the series. I just hate it!!!

I hate that this episode was about Scrooge and Santa. I really don't give a fuck why Scrooge hates Santa and this story in no way compelled me. (Also why was Scrooge and Santa's dialog weirdly shippy??? Thanks to this episode got another huge NOtp, "scranta" is gross, sorry, hate it. Absolutely cannot board that ship at all, I have the tag blocked.) I see absolutely no reason why this was the story we got when there was literally an option to follow up The Last Christmas now that Della was finally home????? MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!! I hate the weird crazy ass capitalist message going on throughout the episode, I get Scrooge is a capitalist himself but he didn't change from this episode? He walked away from Jennifer's obvious poverty life and went "ah as long as she's happy" instead of I don't know, maybe a message about helping the less fortunate??

Look maybe I'm just bitter from my own life. I've lived in extreme poverty my whole life. My parents home has literally looked so much liked the ruined place Jennifer lived in during the episode. And I live in Alaska so I KNOW COLD. I know how it feels to go cold for days on end, no food, no water, nothing. Extreme poverty. Scrooge could have done something. He wasn't like Donald who doesn't have much either. He's a freaking billionaire. He could have helped. And instead the message he walked away with is "if you're happy life is fine" or something. Whatever the message that was supposed to be from this episode is completely lost on me because all I see is a miserable rich old miser who hates letting kids have fun and won't help someone in need. Absolute garbage episode. I really wish they had instead just followed up on The Last Christmas. Or had some kind of family centric episode at least! I seriously fucking hate this episode so much. I would legit erase this episode if I could it is the WORST.

The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker

Nit pick again. Didn't love what they did with Kit. Okay I get the idea he grew up to idolize Baloo so he turned out more like him. It...wasn't great. Didn't like that much at all. Felt like they just tried to shove Kit into a DT87/DWD Launchpad mold. I didn't love that Baloo and Kit's relationship was mentioned weirdly casually? Like Kit called himself Baloo's sidekick??? Except in Talespin Kit calls him Papa Bear??? Also great, got another tag to block from this episode, the delkit ship. Not a fan, thanks.

Kinda weird for me with this episode I didn't really catch the meaning of it. To me it felt like the message was "defy expectations...by meeting them." It didn't really click and I kinda hated it for that plus the weird characterization of Kit. Actually I was on Twitter and someone was complaining about this episode and I responded in agreement and then FRANK REPLIED TO US 😅😅😅. Frank explained that the point was more of "if you're good at something, don't give it up" rather than "you can do anything you set your mind to" type message that appears a lot in kids media. (Also Frank please don't look at me when I'm criticizing the show 😂😂😂😂😭 I promise overall I do love it I'm just a loud mouth when I don't like something some times 😅)

After Frank explained that it did click a little better and I can see the message a bit more clearly. But I'm still not really in love with this episode like I wanted to be. I freaking love Talespin so that was a bummer. But as I've said a dozen times. I'm mostly nit picking my personal opinion.

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck

Another one I wanted to like more than I actually did. And mostly this boils down to Louie having to apologize to Doofus when Doofus is the one who's like some wild sociopath or something. I get it Louie hasn't been completely innocent towards Doofus. He did try to use him and con him but Doofus flat out has tried to hold him captive and torture and even kill him. Doofus' sins outweigh Louie's. Louie having to apologize to prevent the tension and all just...feels like victim blaming? This one is harder for me to describe why I don't like it and I think others have explained it better than me. I think it could have been better if Louie AND Doofus both apologized and agreed to start over and let what happened between them before be water under the bridge. At least this way they're equals? Maybe it wouldn't have been the best fix but I feel it would have been better than Canon. This one I don't want to call a nit pick. This one feels like there is something fundamentally wrong with it but I struggle to explain. Mostly other than that though I think the episode was fine. A little weird that the karma court scale needed to be told the villains hearts rather than able to just know them (mostly looking at the Ma Beagle one here) but that part is more nit pick.

And finally...The Last Adventure

I have things I love about it. The individual character moments. The references and call backs. The music. This finale was clearly made with love and care.

But that damn Webby clone daughter thing twist changes things. I know some people say it doesn't but to me it does! I feel it messed with the family dynamic and the characters in a needless way. I feel it didn't add anything to but rather did take away from. I don't wanna say too much on it as there's already been so much talk on it so in keeping it brief- not a fan, didn't like, why the hell, no.

The thing with Bradford kinda threw me off too. His logic and insistence on not being a villain made him so interesting. He was truly a villain to rival Scrooge. Then in my opinion he was pushed into a weird middle ground. He didn't feel like he completely abandoned what he previously stood on but also didn't go full villain either? I get a villain like Bradford isn't easy. The writers have to truly bring their all for someone like him. But Bradford suddenly getting armor and the Split Sword and becoming a battling giant was kinda ????? inducing. Threw me for a bit of a loop. I probably need to watch this episode a few more times before I finally settle on where I sit with the Bradford thing but at least at this time I just feel kinda mixed on it. Maybe I missed something there.

Other nit picks from the finale. Donald's writing was a little weird, he sounded like he was going on vacation but then Della said he was moving out and Donald talked like "well you have the boys and Uncle Scrooge..." it just really sounds like he's leaving the family?????????? Especially at a time like this? Rude! I mean yes somebody please get this man a vacation but the writing here left me kinda confused and there is no reason Donald would ever just leave and act like "oh well their mom is back so my work here is done." Nope. DADnald for life.

Lena and Webby never getting shown to have made up after their fight. I imagine the giving June and May the friendship bracelets kinda implies it but come on. Even just a hug would have been good. Also...why are they giving up their friendship bracelets??? Confused, not a fan.

And also...in addition to the Clone twist, I really don't love that April, May, and June were all clones instead of Daisy's nieces. I really wanted to get to see them in the show and now I just feel like thanks I hate it! I admire the guts to make a twist like this and all but I really hate it.

Overall please let me say I LOVE Ducktales. The show as a whole to me is a huge important thing I love. This isn't an attack on anyone who likes these episodes. I am just once again being loud and obnoxious with my own opinions and nit picks and things I just would have liked to see or not see.

no idea if any of this rambling answers your question Anon but here you go. Hope it works.

[austenpoppy]

Unpopular - or very rare - opinions about Ron, even for a Ron-lover or a Romione-lover

I am quite a strange person, because I have the impression that no one agrees with what will follow. I won't even list the obvious, since I think most of the people who will read this are Ron-lovers like me.

I am not going to explain everything in details, mostly because I will post some comments and analysis to do so... soon ;) !

1. I am glad Ron dated Lavender, and I am slightly unnerved every time I read that he has been a "prat" in sixth year. Why ?

Because of double standarts, people.

Why is it okay for a girl to want to feel good about herself, to feel special, to be assured that she can achieve things and look good, and not for a boy ?

Feeling okay with oneself is a very important part of one's teenage years. My mum, as a teacher, often talks to pupils who loathes themselves (I have no right to spill their secrets here, but I hope everyone understands)... and that is heartbreaking.

Ron reminds me of them.

Ron dated Lavender at a moment in his life when he thought he was "pathetic", when he thought the girl he loved thought him pathetic too (and he had reasons for thinking so...) when one of his teachers was unable to remember his name and kept looking through him as if he didn't exist while lavishing praise on his best friends and sister, when nobody except Lavander told him he was worth something, when his own team hated him, when his sister had humiliated him, when everyone was looking at Harry in awe, when he had just got scarred for life (scars oddly reminding me of cutting) and had lived through a traumatic event, when nobody except Lavender was doting on him, when nobody seemed to care about him but her.

It did not solve everything. Ron is extremely prone to self-hatred, and I don't believe it ever disappeared after the locket. But for once in his life, Ron actually felt good about himself for a while.

It is not that he did not care about Lavender's feelings. Not at all. Just see the way he felt when they broke, extremely guilty about having made her cry. She fancied him, he appreciated her and he was trying to get over Hermione. (and realised he couldn't, but that is another story...) Why would dating her be wrong ? He did not use her. He did not manipulate her. He appreciated her.

Why would that be wrong, although Hermione and Ginny did the exact same thing ?

I am all for Hermione when she dated Krum at the Yull Ball and Ron tried to guilt her over it, and she yelled at him (even if it I don't want to imagine Ron's feelings the night after, crying himself to sleep because "he would never be good enough for her"... Yeah, Schopenhauer was right: you only fully realise how much something is important once you lost it - or think you lost it). It was important for her to realise that she was not just a "bookworm", but a person who had just as everybody the right to feel desirable, and special.

Ginny dated other guys than Harry, and she was fully aware she had absolutely no feelings towards them (see Dumbledore's funeral) and ... ? She was trying to be herself, to get over Harry. She did not use guys, she genuinely appreciated them and it was important for her. It helped her becoming the person she became.

It was important for Ron too, and I wish people saw that.

2. I don't blame Ron for leaving in DH. It is not that I am cutting him slack, or that I just forgave him. It is more than that. I am admirative.

I think, and this is something I will defend to death after some research I made, that Ron has been mentally tortured by the locket.

Yes, I repeat it, tortured. This is not a hyperbole.

Note that I don't blame Harry or Hermione for the fight. They were manipulated - not tortured yet. The only one I blame is the locket

People don't realise that things could have gone horribly wrong. Under torture, people are led to do awful things. And that cannot be judged. Their pain is so huge they are not in their right mind.

When Ron faced his torturer again after he left, in a state of mental exhaustion, terror and anguish, for another mental torture session, he went very close to possession -actually he has been possessed one moment - and he could have killed Harry. That was exactly what Voldemort wanted : killing the Boy-who-lived by all means, weakening him, destroying the Trio.

It is out of sheer courage and thanks to his golden heart that Ron resisted torture and possession.

Wow indeed.

It could have been another way : with all the self-loathing stuff he always thought being repeated over and over again, he could have committed suicide. I think he could have attempted to do it if he had not left, but this is Ron who never gives up we're talking about, so who knows ?

3. Ron is not insensitive at all. It is the other way around.

Another thing I am ready to die defending it

We have a problem of vocabulary : being insensitive means that you don't care about others' feelings, that you don't feel empathy for others, or that you don't feel empathy at all. Sociopaths are often insensitive.

So... Ron, according to this definition, insensitive ???

I think it would be better if people just said that he was tactless sometimes.

4. Ron is not carefree. An optimist, yes, a boy trying to see the fun in life, yes, often immature, yes, sometimes insensible, yes...

But carefree ? No.

Look at the way he is often very anxious, the way he feels so very strong feelings, the fact that he is overly emotional, the fact that he worries so much.

The emotional range of a teaspoon, my arse.

Ron is a mix of raw emotion, passion, fire, and sunshine, wind and freedom.

5. Ron is romantic.

I see you laughing in a corner, because really, Ron, who had so much problems with dealing with girls, romantic ?

Well, being romantic means that you have idealistic ideas about love (I know what I'm talking about).

And look at Ron, squealing with delight on the floor when Harry received his first kiss, getting desperate when he learnt that Hermione had given het first kiss to another, playing matchmaker (this SCENE at the end of OOTP), grunting because "he thought that (Ginny) had a crush on Harry...", being ready to commit himself to love for eternity at seventeen...

6. Ron was not "the prat who walked out on Harry out of jealousy" in fourth year.

Both boys were to blame here. And acted out of a feeling of betrayal.

Better even : Ron first tried to swallow his bitterness.

7. Ron was not that prejudiced towards giants, house-elves and werewolves

Giants : what did he say ?

That they were violent and "awful", because they were killing one another.

Well, look at what Hagrid, a half-giant, says about it (conversation after his return in OOTP)

House-elves : what did he say ?

--> that they didn't want to be freed : apart from Dobby, whom he respected very much, he was right

--> that they loved doing what they did : once again he was right

--> that they were not human beings, and that you could not talk to them the same way : he was both right and wrong. You have to consider them as equals, and if you don't see them as human beings, you can be prone to forget it; however, house-elves are another species with other needs and expectations; and you have to be careful about what you say to them and the way you say it (house-elves are much more naive, innocent and emotional)

Werewolves : what did he say for people to think that ?

--> the "get away from me, werewolf !"

Ah, the hypocrisy. Let me remind you of something :

"'NO!' Hermione screamed, 'Harry, don't trust him, ge's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead - he's a werewolf !"'

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling

But people, think about it one second : these circumstances were NOT normal. They were hurt and TERRIFIED teenagers who had just seen one of their teachers hug and being really friendly with a seemingly mass murderer. They felt betrayed.

Imagine if Sirius had been a mass murderer : Lupin would have been like Greyback, who identifies himself as a werewolf and as a beast.

Ron and Hermione did not really think what they said. They were just TERRIFIED.

--> the "Dumbledore hired you, he's crazy"

Same thing.

It is crazy to expect perfection from terrified and feeling-like betrayed teenagers.

8. Ron does not lust much after other girls

I won't count Fleur, because the state he was in when he was seeing her was only due to her Veela-abilities (and let's face it -Harry too was influenced by it - just look at the way he described her when she entered his room at the beginning of HPB; Ron was just more sensitive to it)

He had a cute crush (oh god I hate this word) on Mrs Rosmerta.

He found Lavender nice, but did not lust after her.

And...?

That's all.

Full stop.

9. Ron's Boggart is not a spider

It may have been the case in the first books, but not in the last ones.

Otherwise let's assume that Parvati's Boggart will always be a mummy, that Seamus's will always be a banshee and that Dean's will always be a severed hand...

Nope. People grow and change, and their fears too.

I think that Ron's Boggart, once OOTP ends, has most likely been a dead or hurt Hermione that he had not been able to save, or a locketlike vision.

10. Ron is not so relatable and ordinary.

Well, maybe he is relatable for the way he feels inadequate, and his tendency to self-hatred reminds probably some people of their own struggle.

The fact that we can read him like an open book is perhaps relatable as well.

His arachnophobia ?

Maybe his bad luck.

But I never thought him ordinary. Or else being ordinary has never been so extraordinary.

The day you find a boy who is ready to die for others and to sacrifice himself at the age of twelve, call me.

The day you find somebody who is arachnophobic and is ready to follow spiders into a dark forest without complaining and even trying to appear enthusiastic, call me.

The day you find a fourteen-years old with a bitten arm and a broken leg, and standing on it without complaining once to tell somebody everyone thinks is a mass murderer and that he had seen with a knive above his bed some months ago, "If you want to kill my best friend, you'll have to kill me too", call me.

The day you find a boy who begs to be tortured instead of the person he loves and who is ready to give up everything he is for her or him, call me.

The day you find somebody who defies a dictator and a murderer when all hope is lost, call me.

And then I dare you to tell me they're ordinary.

I am sure some people imagine that I think Ron has no flaws, mostly because the things people blame him for are things I am often glad he did.

That is not true.

But the things I criticize Ron about are often smaller : imitating Hermione in Charms in HPB, his comment about Neville to feel better about himself before asking Hermione to the ball, his comment during a party during the Scabbers/Crookshanks fight...

However, I do worship Ron to the stars.

And I am proud of it.

[claysenpai]

I had fell despereately, horribly in love with the wrong person. They said that they liked me and wanted me but they didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship with me.

It sucks and any other person in their right mind would have been like, "No. Fuck that. I give you 100% of me. I should get that back. If you Really care about me and want me as you say you do." And leave. But damnit, i tried and tried and couldn't.

I don't think that i was in the right mindset at all to make the change and leave like i should have. They played me out to the bitter end. The bitter, bitter end. It was terrible. I was so terribly confused when in reality, it was clear. They didn't want me as much as I thought or what they made it seemed and they weren't worth the trouble and effort. And i didn't want to fuckn see it cause I truly loved them But that was my First mistake..

Till this day. I believe that they wanted everything I could give them. The boundless love, the endless passion, the stubborn loyalty and more but didn't want to have to commit to a relationship, to me. Didn't want to have to think about someone else's feelings and be emotionally responsible and possibly didn't want to have to risk their own feelings. I believe that he tried to condition me to that sort of life style so he could have it all with no risk but I'm also one who just can't be taken advantage of. I never let that shit go. So it became very bitter and ended in a very bad way.

It took forever to get over it. Nights and nights of crying. Crying randomly at work. Little things that we used to watch and refer to would push me over the edge. The tiniest fuckn shit. And the dreams. No escape for months.

It took a long time and I thought I'd always be broken like that but I'm all over it. Now I know much better... my relationships are so much better, happier, more fulfilling, stable, Wonderful, I Trust Again. Hell, my whole entire Life has upgraded exponentially because I know what to stay the Hell Away from.

And to stay clear of fuckboys and fuckgirls.

That is my reason for believing that polyamorous people are usually manipulative in nature. They are self indulging, self fulfilling, borderline sociopathic people who want it all without giving back too much and will try to get it all from you if they can.

Moral of the story.

"Don't be a cuck for no fuckboy/fuckgirl."

If they're not willing to give the same back. Bottom line, they ain't worth the time and energy.

Don't fuck yourself. And it's Soo easy to fuck yourself when all you want is them. Say fuckm' and mean it, carry the fuck on.

Jordan Peterson is dead' right.