#I'm a little surprised that no-one has just googled the second summer of love

[kierongillen]

Solicits are out! And in March, we bring you...

THE POWER FANTASY #7 (W) Kieron Gillen (A/CA) Caspar Wijngaard 1989: a popular year with Taylor Swift fans. In The Power Fantasy, we have a different Queen, and she nearly killed us all. We finally reveal the horror of the Second Summer of Love.

In Shops: Mar 19, 2025 SRP: $3.99

[warmaidensrevenge]

It's not a never.

Pairings: Eddie x fem!best friend Plus size reader

A/N: Happy Sunday loves. Here I present the final part in this series. It's a bit steamy if you ask me. So ready your naughty bits. As always thanks for reading. Please feel free to share and comment your thoughts. It really gives me a boost of dopamine that I crave. So anything is awesome. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A huge thank you and credit to the original posters and artists.

Word count: 3,824

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Angst, language, sexual implications, sexual situations, p&v, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex and mentions of alcohol use. Not proof read

Part 4: Right now

Summary: Time goes by. But feelings still remain.

The farewell was in fact unbearable. It hurt Eddie like hell. But what hurt the most was a year after. College life became hectic for you. Which caused letters and phone calls to lessen. 

Then the guys got a big break. It was a small record label with very little rapport. But it was one he had a good feeling about. They made a deal for one full album and a few shows to promote it. 

It was a very busy year that turned into two. Then three.

Before any of them knew it, they were playing sold out shows. 

Things were working out. His dreams were coming true. But he never forgot about that girl with the sweet little smile. Though it has been some time since he saw it. He was fortunate enough to see it again one summer night in that third year.

The band was performing at one of their favorite places one hot night. They loved it because it was on a rooftop. Where they could see most of the city.

Tonight though, Eddie could only focus on the pretty girl with the small smile he almost forgot if it weren't for the prom picture he kept in his wallet.

The second the set was over, he jumped off the stage and ran to you. Obviously dodging the groupies and fans asking for autographs.

You yelped when he embraced you. Surprised when he picked you up a little.

“ Oh shit! I can't believe this!” He said when he planted you back down. 

You giggled. “Hi Eddie.”

He leaned back a little and grinned like crazy. “ When did-” He was cut off by the rest of his buddies.

He took a few steps back to let everyone have their turn with you. To be honest he needed the minute to get over the shock of seeing you. 

One thing led to another and you guys went out for drinks then ended up back at their apartment.

The whole night you guys were hanging off each other. Loving glances were shared and every word you said sounded like a love spell to him. And that didn't end when it was just you two.

Everyone else went to bed and he wasn't tired at all. So why end the night? Who knows when he was gonna see you again.

“ Ehem. So Eddie?” You said, putting your half empty glass on the coffee table. “ How many times do I have to squeeze your thigh to get you to kiss me?”

He laughed nervously.

You gave him a sexy sly grin. “ Common I've been flirting with you all night.”

He cleared his throat and smirked while you moved closer to him. It was true. You were flirting. He was too. And he shouldn't have. 

You reached up to move his bangs to the side. After you rested your hand much closer to his genitals. 

He quickly put a hand on yours. Just in case you decided to touch him further. “ Ummm…” he mumbled and met your beautiful eyes.

If things were different, he wouldn't question a damn thing and take you right here and now. Maybe even on the floor and the kitchen counter. Definitely fuck you in the shower and again on his bed. But he couldn't.

He exhaled. “ I'm kinda seeing someone.”

You practically jumped back. Pulling your hand away in the process. He could see how red you were getting from embarrassment.

“ Crap! Ed- I'm…uhhhh I'm sorry. I should go.”

You stood up and without thinking he grabbed your arm and stood up too.

“ No! I mean. Please don't go.”

You looked at him and shook your head. “ No I should. I've embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime.”

You tried to go but he gently pulled you back and cupped the sides of your face. 

“ Common kid. Don't be embarrassed. I was flirting too.” He hung his head a little. “ I shouldn't have but…it's you.”

He felt your warm soft hands on his. Making him meet your eyes. 

“ Eddie I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come and -”

“ No. You did nothing wrong. It was me. I should've said I was seeing someone sooner…but seriously, don't go. I-I've missed you…So fuckin much.”

You bit your lip and nodded. “ Okay. But you have to sit on the other side of the couch.”

He dropped his hands and held onto yours. “ Yeah, or I'm gonna have to make a phone call and become single.”

Your eyes widened. “ I'm flattered, but probably don't do that.”

You both grinned at one another before returning to the couch. Talking until the sun came up.

For Eddie it was heartbreaking saying goodbye to you that next morning. You were still that funny, sweet, affectionate girl from highschool. You were still the person he could talk to for hours without a care in the world. And he remembered the love that he still had for you. 

What he learned last night was that you were so busy with school that you didn't have time to date. He also found out that college was much harder than you thought it was gonna be. So hard that you changed your major twice.

Eventually, you found something you really saw yourself doing. Career wise that is. And he was happy for you. Just like how you were happy for him and the guys. 

Still, there was still something between you two. Something he wished he could explore. Something that just flowed with you. It was as if you guys picked up from where you left off.

It irked him. It bothered him so much that he actually opened up to his girlfriend about it. 

At first she was quiet, then she got pissed. Eventually, she calmed down and broke up with him. And to be honest it didn't really affect him that much. Sure he liked her. She was fun to be around. But after talking to you, he realized he never had a decent conversation with her. It was just partying and sex mostly. 

It wasn't her fault though. It was him. He never cared to open up to anyone besides his friends. Maybe it was because he thought no one would understand or get him. Get his quirks or quips. They probably wouldn't get his music tastes or like his nerdy side. Or maybe he didn't want anyone to. Perhaps it was because he still had hope for you. Hope that was instilled in him over the best pancakes in the world.

Either way it would be another 4 years until he would see you again.

…

Jeff was getting married. To Connie, in Hawkins. Everyone was invited and Eddie, Gareth and Grant were his groomsmen. They were all his best men cuz he couldn't choose one. 

Which was such a grueling task. Helping with the wedding and planning a bachelor party took up a lot of time. 

But besides all that, Eddie was looking forward to seeing one guest. One very important guest. The pretty girl he's been corresponding to for the past four years. 

He got in touch after you left New York. And kept up contact. He didn't want to disconnect again. Lose you again.

Though nothing was ever said about getting together, he anticipated that after the wedding he was gonna leave with you. Finally getting to that right now you had mentioned seven years ago.

-

He was near the entrance of the church, saying his hellos with the rest of the wedding party when he saw you. 

Everything around him seemed to slow down as you exited the car and fixed your royal blue dress. You looked around and smiled at the people you knew. Then you went to help your mom out of the car. 

He absolutely could not look away. You were a knockout. Absolutely gorgeous. 

What were the chances he could sneak you out of the party and make love somewhere? Maybe he could convince you to leave early. 

He suddenly felt a jab in the ribs. 

“ Ouch! What the fu-” he groaned as he looked at Gareth who was nodding towards Jeff's grandma. “ Oh right!” He uttered, holding out his elbow for her. “ Hello there young lady, I am to escort you to your VIP spot.”

She hit him with an ohh you and took his arm. He looked back to see if he could catch your eye. But it wasn't until the ceremony that he did. 

With a big smile you lifted your hand. Giving him a little wave. He smirked and looked down. Continuing down the aisle. 

Damn! He thought. He really wanted you to be a part of the wedding party.

Originally you were, but you had just started a new job and couldn't get away for rehearsals or any planning. So you opted to only be a guest. Which sucked for him because now he had to look at the happy couple instead of staring at you.

Once he got to the altar he met your gaze again. He knew he must look crazy grinning the way he was. But he didn't care. The girl he was in love with was in the same town, at the same place he was. And he was gonna make sure he left with you.

-

The vows and I do’s were said and the pastor gave the bride and groom the go ahead for a kiss. 

Eddie looked over at you and you had tears of joy falling from your eyes. He pulled out his  handkerchief and took a few steps towards you. Asking for the person sitting in front of you to hand it off. 

You blushed and wiped the tears away while he went back to his spot. Gareth nudged him, but he didn't care. He had to make sure you were good. 

At this point he would do anything for you. He would give anything to be with you. He'd say anything and everything he could just to see you smile. And for a second he pictured what his life would be like with you.

Applause broke out and he clapped along as Jeff and Connie walked back down the aisle together. Once they were at the end, the guys and bridesmaids followed. 

He looked at you again and you were talking to your dad. However, you met his eyes as he passed and mouthed a thank you. 

He nodded and planned on circling back around so that he could get to you. Unfortunately, he had to go in the limo as soon as they walked out. 

Apparently word mysteriously got out that Jeff was getting married. So there were paparazzi and a handful of fans waiting outside the chapel. 

It was a good thing that they had security on standby just in case this happened. 

Everyone was escorted into the car and rushed off.

Jeff was pissed but Connie calmed him down. Saying that to not let it ruin their day. 

Eddie smiled to himself. He was happy for his friend. Jeff had found the girl he was meant to be with. Even with the band getting bigger and the crazy schedules. One of his best friends got to spend the rest of his life with someone who calmed him. Who accepted him for all that he is and truly made him happy. 

Eddie was a little envious of it. Still, he was completely overjoyed for his buddy. 

He wanted that. More than anything, he wanted you. So it was his prerogative to be with you.

-

Everyone had to show their invitations to get into the dance hall. But once in, the music was going and drinks were being served. 

Eddie waited patiently by the door. Nearly jumping up and down. Excited to finally get to talk to you. 

While giving security your invitation you locked eyes with him and smiled from ear to ear. 

You looked away for a second then followed your parents in. 

He said hello to everyone as they made their way down the line to the newly Weds. Finally it was your dad's turn. They shook hands and your mom was next.

“ Why hello there, gorgeous. You are a vision.”

Victoria blushed and gave him a playful smack. “ Stop it.”

He laughed and gave her a hug. 

At last, it was your turn. 

“ Hi Eddie.”

He stood there with his lips together and an eyebrow raised. Giving you his flirtatious smile. “ Hi baby.”

You tilted your head to the side and raised both brows. “ Baby?”

He beamed at you and grabbed your hand. Pulling you closer to him. “ Yeah. You're my baby girl now.” 

Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a long warm hug. Rocking you from side to side. Making you laugh.

Grant cleared his throat. “ Alright Munson, you're holding up the line.”

You pulled away but he didn't want to let you go. He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it. His eyes never left you as you finally made it down to Jeff and Connie. 

He smiled as you took Connie's hand and twirled her around. Clearly admiring how beautiful she looked in her gown. Then you gave her hug. Moving on to the groom. He chuckled seeing you and Jeff do your nerdy handshake before hugging.

Afterwards, everyone sat down to eat. Eddie of course didn't want to sit with the rest of the party. Not while you were just a few feet away. He grabbed his plate and his beer and went to sit next to you. 

“ Eddie…Connie's is gonna kill you.” You warned.

He looked up at the head table and saw Jeff and Connie just enamored with each other. Not really paying attention to anything or anyone else but each other for that matter.

He put a hand on the back of your chair and scooted closer. “ I don't think they care.”

He watched you as you glanced at your friends and smiled.

“ Awww I love them.”

He reached up and moved your hair behind your shoulder. Causing you to look at him. “ Want to get out of here?”

You jerked your head back. “ Dude! It's our best friend's wedding.”

-

As the night progressed you guys were practically inseparable. You danced, drank, and talked. It was as if nothing had changed between you two. He made you laugh and you made him nervous. 

It felt right.

Even the approving nods he got from his friends and family assured him this was it. He could do this with you. 

Your parents were about ready to leave a couple hours later and you along with them. What could he do to get you to stay?

“ I-I can get you a ride home later if you want.” He offered.

You shook your head. “ No, I have some work to do so I better get going.”

He frowned. “ But we hardly got to hang out.”

You looked down, clearly to him, trying to think of something. When he came up with something first.

“ I uhh I should probably try and find a hotel for tonight.”

You met his eyes with yours. “ Why?”

He nudged his head towards the door. Where there were paparazzi hanging out with cameras at the ready. “ I was gonna stay with my uncle, but I don't want those guys to bother him.”

“O-oh… ummm well you know my parents still have the pull out in the basement. I could...if you want, I could sneak you out? But what about everyone else?”

He shrugged. To hell with them for the night. “ They're adults, they can figure out something I'm sure.”

You softly laughed. “ Alright. How about you go out the service entrance and we’ll circle around for you?”

He smirked. “ Let's go.”

-

He was laying there in his boxers trying to figure out how to sneak past your parents room and get into your bedroom. Sure it was probably a stupid idea to try and have sex while your parents were across the hall. However he needed you. He craved your lips, and your warmth. He wanted your body next to his.

So he decided to grab something to drink, then see if your parents had gone to bed.

What he found was even better. 

You were in the kitchen grabbing a Popsicle. Wearing nothing but a long shirt and tube socks.

When you turned around you jumped. “ Eddie!” You half whispered. 

He grinned. “ Sorry baby. Was thirsty.”

He went for a glass to pour himself some tap water. Paying attention to your movements. You had gone to sit at the table and started sucking on the ice cream. All the while reading a manuscript. 

He gulped down his drink and went to sit next to you. Pulling the chair as close to you as possible. 

You did your best to ignore him and his advances. But the way he played with your hair made you shift closer to him. 

You had gotten so overcome by his light touch on your thigh that you squeezed your legs shut. You then flipped the page you were working on and licked the Popsicle that was melting all over your hand. Some of the sweet syrup dripped down your chin. And before you could wipe it away he grabbed your hand with one arm and lightly held your chin between his index finger and thumb with the other. He then licked a fat strip from the underside of your chin up to your bottom lip.

He smirked to himself hearing your breath hitch. He had you right where he wanted. 

He stood up and grabbed your hand. Stealing your sweet treat and finishing it off before leading you down to the basement. Of course locking the door behind you. 

When he got you on the bed, he finally took that kiss he'd been dying for all day and everyday for the past seven years

Wet and needy. Tongues dancing together. Exploring tenaciously. With hands doing the same.

He started needing your breast and was surprised by something hard. Curious, he went under the shirt and felt two small metal balls on either side of your hardened nipple. 

He groaned against your lips. “ Fuck baby. I like this.”

You laughed softly and whispered. “ I knew you would.”

He grinned while he played with your piercing. After a bit he kissed his way down your body until he reached your underwear. But instead of taking them off. He moved the damp cloth to the side and spread you a part. 

He was addicted as soon as his tongue touched you. The sweet, sweet nectar that poured from you drove him mindless. But even more so feeling your hand get lost in his curls as the other covered your mouth. Trying to conceal your pleasure.

He stared up at you, enjoying your contorted face as he sucked and licked and swallowed like there was no tomorrow. 

Then he added fingers. Doing a come hither motion. Wasn't long after that. Your body trembled as an orgasm hit. Your pussy throbbed around his fingers. Coating them generously with your wetness.

He waited patiently for you to come down before climbing back up your body and crashing his lips into yours. And when he did you sucked in his bottom lip. Causing him to push his hardened length against your soaked undergarments.

You pushed him up off of you and got on your knees before him. He watched in awe as you wrapped your hair up and freed his cock from its cotton prison.

You teased him at first. Giving his head little kitten licks and kisses. It was maddening. Feeling your slick tongue swirl around the tip before retreating back into your mouth. 

“ Baby please!” He begged.

You looked up with darkened eyes and a less than angelic smile. “ Shhh. You have to be quiet.”

He pouted. Pleading you with his eyes. 

Then you did it. You took the whole damn thing. Making him reach for the back of your head and lifting his hips to go deeper. 

The hum in your throat had his eyes rolling back and toes curled until they hurt. 

A few seconds passed by and he felt your throat close around him as you started to choke. He loosened his grip and let you back off. 

He opened his eyes and focused on you. Watching you catch your breath before taking him in again. This time not so deep. Adding your hand into the mix. 

It was fucking amazing. Every slurp, every gag, every teasing lick around his balls nearly had him cumming. Even more so when you forced him in every once every other stroke. Building up his confidence and his orgasm.

“ Sh-shit baby…got-gotta stop.” 

You let him go with a small pop and had a concerned look in your eyes.“ Everything okay?”

He licked his lips and swallowed. “ Yeah. Fuckin perfect. Just don't wanna cum yet.”

He leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss while helping you up. 

You stood before him and used his shoulders for balance as he peeled off your panties. 

Once they were at your feet you kicked them off and straddled him. Slowly lowering yourself on his shaft. 

Your mouth fell open and your eyes screwed shut and his tip pushed through. 

“ OH MY GOD!” He moaned. 

Your warm tight pussy clinged to him. Hugging him like no other has before. Feeling you flutter around him as you rocked back and forth had him focusing on not cumming. 

He buried his face in your bosom and concentrated on his target. That one special spot that made you cry out his name. That spot that not only drove you over the edge but made him see heaven.

Sure enough he found it. But at this angle he couldn't touch it as much and he wanted to. 

So he wrapped his arms around you and held on tightly as he flipped you over on your back. 

You giggled in the process and stole a kiss and he repositioned himself. When he looked at you, you were grinning up at him.

“ Oh Eddie. So serious.”

He narrowed his eyes at you and rammed himself in. Earning that yelp/ moan. He reached up to cover your mouth as he plowed into you.

“ This. Is. Serious.” He grunted. 

Your eyes got lost in the back of your head as he thrusted hard and steady. Your moans turning into whimpers and sighs as he fucks you into the bed.

And within moments your body and his reacted to the immense pleasure. 

The climax washed over you like a wave of ecstasy.

Once it passes, he rested his forehead on yours panting with you. Letting his hand fall away from your mouth. 

“ I've missed you so much.” He whispered.

You nodded in agreement that he was also missed. 

He kissed your forehead. “ I'll go find something to clean you up.”

He then pulled out slowly and put on his bottoms.

When he came back he had a warm washcloth with him. He gently cleaned between your legs then himself before pulling you to lay in his arms.

You had started tracing his tattoos. Making him smile.

That's when he found himself writing something on your arm.

‘Marry-me-yeah?’

You sighed lightly and snuggled closer to him. Tracing your answer on his chest.

‘Okay’

He raised his head to look at you. " Yeah?"

You nodded. " On one condition...You have to break the news to Grant."

Eddie threw his head back into the pillow and smacked his forehead. " Shit! He's gonna kill me."

You giggled. " Yup."

…

@salenorona23 @browneyes528 @ohmeg @eddiesguitarskills @trashywormeateroffics @eddie-is-a-god @crookedcrone

[the-new-hip-priest]

Go to your local charity/thrift/op shop! Even if you live in bumfuck nowhere, I promise you'll be surprised at what you can find. I have two favourite jackets that I'm often complimented on, and I got both of them from a little store ten minutes down the road. $15AUD for a proper leather biker jacket! One on them has a Bauhaus backpatch that I made by cutting up a 13 year old shirt, the other has a Milhaus backpatch that I knocked up myself on Paint. A lot of sp00py bands have fairly straightforward logos, too. Look them up on google images, convert the picture to black and white, and bam! You've got your own stencils. Print 'em off and go to town with a scalpel/stanley knife/cutter. If you fuck it up the first time, so what? Have another go. Hell, buy a plain black t-shirt from the op-shop and use it as dedicated patch material. I promise you don't need some inherent artistic skills, just go slow and enjoy it. And don't feel bad for doing the Cross and Cross-Bones Christian Death logo, it's a good start for when you're learning! In Australia, we also have stores we call 'two dollar shops'. This isn't to be taken as literally as Poundland for example (in so much as the items don't actually all cost two dollars, but I digress). These shops almost always have one fancy dress/costume aisle that has fishnets in every colour you can imagine. Grab some in your favourite colour, hack them with scissors, and safety-pin it to your sleeves. I'm pretty sure Killstar sells a piece that is literally just a t-shirt with two slashes through it, held together with safety pins. You could pay $40+ for that shirt, or grab a second-hand one and a packet of safety pins for about $7. Get some white-out or acrylic paint and get creative with spider webs and bats. You can bulk buy hundreds of studs from sites like ebay, and if you're working with leather, you can pick up an awl from your local hardware store for a few bucks. You don't to cough up for a stud press. Also, one of the best aspects is that it's your clothes. If you love Parálisis Permanente as well as Pusheen, go for it. Stick that little kitty somewhere! When I wanted some summer-appropriate shoes, I bought a cheap pair of sandals from K-Mart and a packet of toy spiders (alongside the studs I had left over from buying in bulk). I brought them home, got out the glue gun, and now I have cool, spikey, spidery sandals. I could've bought something similar from Dangerfield for about $70, but what's the point? They would've been the same basic quality as the sandals, and I can reattach anything that might fall off without the horrendous guilt that comes from knowing you paid good money for a poor-quality product. Wanna look like a horned demon/ess? All you need is a generic headband, a couple of toilet rolls/cardboard tubes, duct tape, acrylic paint, and hot glue - significantly cheaper than a $35 premade headband. Grab some black roses from a craft shop, if you're feeling fancy. I also strongly believe in donation karma. Is that The Cure shirt getting a bit too snug around the shoulders? Donate it. I promise the next time you come back to the store, you'll find something gorgeous exactly in your size. OP also acknowledged disability in regards to DIY. If you have a mate that finds it difficult to work with their hands, make them some patches! In the same vein, I have a friend who cannot move her lower body but is incredibly crafty and nimble with her hands. She's done some commission cross-stich for me in the past. Consider your options and support your local scene!

Actually I'll never forgive Punk Rave and Killstar and fast fashion brands for tricking people into thinking that being goth or punk or emo is expensive. Babygirl the only goth brand names you need to know are Rit, Good Will, Etsy, and Studs and Spikes, we used to shove safety pins through our ears and then they started selling earrings that look like safety pins for 15.99. We used to dye thrifted wedding dresses black and they started selling gothic gowns for 300 bucks. We used to put studs on boots we found in the back of the good will and they started making Demonias. DIY or die wasn't perfect it can be exclusionary to disabled people but whatever the fuck we've got going on right now is so much worse. It's not any more inclusive to the disabled and it is exclusionary to the people who made punk, to the people who made goth, to the people who made emo. If you've got the funds and you don't want to do diy pay someone else to do it for you but please let it be a small artist or a friend not some guy in a suit who's made it his business to gentrify punk. You can turn flats into platforms with flipflops, hotglue and gumption don't let anyone tell you different.

[voxmortuus]

Tonight, I Make You Mine

PAIRING: Creature!Ateez Park Seonghwa x F!Reader

UNIVERSE: Fantasy AU

WORDS: 3.4k

SUMMARY/PROMPT: It marks one year of a relationship with Seonghwa and he has a plan, a romantic plan, he wants to make you his in more than one way, he wants to show you what he is, he wants you to want him for all he was and he couldn't hide what he is to you anymore, and the way he shows you what he is, is a moment you will never forget in your life. In the end, you vow to spend the rest of your life with him.

NOTE: This is my first time writing anything like this. Please be kind to me, and I will absolutely take constructive criticism. I'm sorry if this is horrible! Also, there are links to some things such as outfits and the scent of the women's cologne and one other special surprise at the end.

TW: Tentai content including bondage | tentacle sucking | tentacle breast play | tentacle clit play | tentacle anal play | tentacle suction play | penetration with tentacles | Body fluids | Unprotected penetration | Internal Ejaculation | Short Male Receiving Oral | Oral Ejaculation | Male Masturbation | Mild Language | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this...

IMAGE CREDIT: Google I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THESE IMAGES. If these are yours or you know who the creator(s) is please INBOX me and let me know. Thank you.

My Masterlist | Taglist

REQUESTS: OPEN

You never thought it would happen, falling for Seonghwa like this, but honestly, it was easy. He cherished every moment with you, he loved you to the moon and back, and at times you questioned if he just settled. You never wanted to keep him from what would make him happy. He did well for himself. He knew what he wanted in his life, and here you were questioning Seonghwa. With a loaded breath, you sat there looking at your phone when you see the date. Today was the day, a special day he told you to get ready for. Licking your lips, you push yourself off the couch and walk to your room.

You opt for a cute dark blue daisy printed summer dress, and you put your hair up with loose curls. You decide to go with soft makeup and his favorite, Jo Malone, Wood Sage & Sea Salt Cologne/Perfume. A coastal aroma that will transport the wearer to the shore, with sea salt that's infused with wood sage and a bit of citrus to create a unique fragrance that you can’t quite put your finger on at times. The opening is oceanic with sea salt but is given a typical aquatic partner with the grapefruit. It is so fresh and abyssal but dries down with a bit of sweetness and light woody undertones. Let's not forget the sage, which is a part of the opening but comes into its own later. He loved that scent on you, one of his favorites, and you make sure you keep stocked on it. It was one of the many things that attracted him to you.

Looking at your phone, you let out a small breath, and you begin pacing your shoes echoed in your home against your wood floors. You were anticipating him being here, and you were nervous. Today marked one year you had been with him, and tonight was a special night. Tonight was a night that you had been waiting for. A night he had been preparing you for, for what felt like a long time. He had it all planned, and you were anxious. It was almost like you were on edge. You had no clue how to respond to most things, and this was something you didn't expect at all. You were used to life throwing you curve balls, and today was going to be no different.

You look at the time and make your way outside; you just couldn't wait any longer. You had been pacing your living room for hours. When you got out there, you got there just in time to see Seonghwa pull up, so it was good timing. Making your way down the steps, you stand there as he gets out of the car. Looking over him, you bite your lip, your hand fidgets with your dress, he wore a black suit, and he looked so handsome, so perfect. You smile as he greets you with a kiss on your cheek. Smiling sweetly, again, you kiss him back and watch as he extends his hand to open the car door.

"Thank you Seonghwa." He smirks, nodding his head, and makes his way around to get in on his side.

Your nerves are getting the better of you. Seonghwa reaches over and places his hand on your thigh; looking over, you smile at him. You couldn't take the quiet anymore. You bite your lip and look over his profile and smile, god he was handsome, and there was just something about him you can't quite put your finger on.

"Seonghwa, where are we going?" You inquire.

"It's a surprise, Love." He smirks, and you bite your lip.

"But I don't do well with surprises." You give him a hopeful look that maybe he'll tell you.

He only chuckles, shaking his head, "No love, I'm sorry."

You give a tiny pout and fidget with your skirt while his hand grips your thigh a little tighter, almost telling you to not fidget. Your hands stop fidgeting, and he lets out a small chuckle; you look over at him and tilt your head and watch him a moment. He gives a side smirk and takes a turn. You weren't paying attention to really anything around you, so when he pulled into the parking lot, you looked around, and it was empty. Looking at the building, you smiled and got excited!

"The aquarium!? I've been wanting to go for so long! I'm so excited!"

"Well, I've been paying attention, and I just felt like this was the right place, that and I've got it so it's all ours for the night."

"Seonghwa! This is so... this is... perfect." You lean over and plant a kiss on his lips.

With a chuckle, he leaned into the kiss, and you both got out of the car. Locking it behind him, he places his keys in his pocket and takes your hand. Your heart sputters a bit like it always does. Walking beside him, it was like he towered over you. Walking to the entrance, he smiled and grabbed his keys from his pocket- he held the key in his hand a moment before finding the key to the door and unlocking it. You look at him in awe; you two really were the only ones here.

Walking in, he locks the door behind him after letting you in. Looking at you, he smirks. "Where do we go first?"

"Oh, Seonghwa, I have no idea. I want to see everything."

"Ok," He chuckles, "How about you follow me." He takes your hand and leads you down one of the dark hallways.

Looking around, you enter a tunnel of water, looking above at the blue above, you smile. It was so pretty, so calming. Your hand touches the glass as you step to it, seeing a school of fish in the distance and a shark above. Your heart pounds. You look at him and grin wide. You were like a child in a candy store, and you couldn't wait to see more.

As you two walk deeper into the building, you're in awe by what you see, the colors, the vibrance of it all. Seonghwa chuckles, letting go of your hand, watching you. He slips his hands into his pants pockets and tilts his head, watching you. His heart flutters watching you, the enjoyment he got from this was something he thought he would never find. Seonghwa was always the kind to seclude himself, isolate, and turn a blind eye to the things around him, and here you were, opening his eyes to everything around him. Because of you, he has come out of his shell, and if it wasn't for you, he would never want to explore. Because of you, he explores more. But tonight was special.

Getting to the middle of the building, he looks around and smiles at you. You turn around and notice a blanket in the middle under the dome of water. He smiles and looks at you.

"Y/N, there is something I want to ask you, something I want, and need. Something I want to show you."

You nod your head looking over his face. A little nervous you let out a soft breath.

"I've found who I am with you, I've found myself with you, Y/N. If it wasn't for you, I'd likely be in my house dwelling the day. I want to spend my life with you, Y/N. I want to love you and be with you every day. If you'd have me of course." He looks over your face.

Tilting your head, you step to him and place your hand on his chest and look over his face and give a smile and you look deep into his eyes. "Of course I will, Seonghwa."

"You may second guess, I'm not like other people, Y/N." He tells you.

"So? You understand me and I understand you."

"I don't think you understand. I'm different."

"Show me." You tell him looking deep into his eyes.

He looks you deep in the eyes and licks his lip. He wraps his left arm around you tightly. He lets out a soft breath and you feel this warm, wet, sticky thing wrap around your leg, you go to look down, but with his right hand, he takes your chin and keeps your eyes on him. The way it moves around your leg, feeling it inch, crawl, the suction you look over his face, and your eyes grow wide as it wraps around your thigh, inching its way up, stopping just before it gets to your sex. You let out a soft breath, feeling one on the other leg, but he keeps his hand on your chin, and you look deep into his eyes.

"I told you, I'm not like others..."

"What are you? What is this, that? What is on me?"

"Do you trust me, Y/N?"

"Yes, more than anything Seonghwa, but tell me what is this?"

"This is me... this is what I am. Do you want more?"

Without even questioning, you nod your head and look over his face. "I love you, nothing can change that Seonghwa." you whisper.

He looks over your face and kisses you deeply as the tentacles wrap around your leg tighter and slide up your leg a little further, one begins to play with your clit while the other runs itself along your lower lips. Biting your lower lip you let out a shaky breath and rest your head against his chin. "Tonight, I make you mine." He whispered tilting your head up and kisses you deeply. You return the kiss, deepening it, gripping at his coat lapels, and moan against his lips as the suction of one of the tentacle cups your clit and works at it almost as if it is sucking on your clit, the other tentacle gets excited about your wetness and starts to toy with the entrance of your sex.

You feel another tentacle making its way between your legs. Your lips against his your hands gripping his jacket, his arm wrapped around your waist and another around your throat holding you close you now have 4 tentacles between your legs, one toying with your clit, two massaging either side of your sex, and one playing with the wet entrance. Your hips move slightly. "Please... make me yours." you whisper against his lips.

A tentacle comes up slithering up your spine up the back of your dress and he looks over your face, and strips you of your dress, laying it on the floor next to you, the blanket beneath you both, surrounded by pillows, he looks over you, licking his lips he steps back a bit, watching as the tentacle wraps around you a couple times with another to make you sturdy, one slithers up your spine to the base of your neck, you look at him, watching them protrude from him, such beauty in such an odd way, the color, the pink, the purple, the blues and yellows, something so amazing. You watch him and look over his face. You hold out your hand, while one is wrapped around you under your breasts reaches over and slowly wraps around your arms, inching to your palm and places itself in your palm. You let out a small chuckle and look back at him, nodding your head.

The two tentacles that are wrapped around you lean you back, the two that are wrapped around your legs lift you off the ground. Your breathing picks up but you being to relax. You have 2 more tentacles reaching out to wrap around your arms while the others that are wrapped around you cup your breasts and begin to flick at your nipples, wrapping around them until they are hard and begin to play with them, while the tentacle playing with your wetness enters into you. You let out a gasp as it begins to inch into you further, you feel the way it squirms inside you, feeling the suction cups rub against you causing you to shiver and moan softly. Whimpering as the tentacle against your clit becomes more rigorous in its motions.

The two massaging the sides of your sex decide to join the one inside and they twirl together and plunge into you, moving in and out stretching you and massaging against your walls, the suction cups adding extra texture. You let out a soft moan, as he watches you, his cock hardens a little more, feeling the excitement. The hardness of himself restricts in his pants. He lets out a soft groan feeling what the tentacles are feeling which only excites him even more.

As the tentacles work your sex, penetrating as far as they felt they could go, stopping at your cervix you let out a heavy moan and ball your hands into fists. The tentacles work their ways, squirming inside you in and out the suctions gripping at your wetness as you moan louder they move faster.

"Oh Seonghwa, faster, please." You beg.

As you beg your breathing grows faster and he grows harder, he removes himself from his pants, grips his cock in his hand and begins to stroke himself. He lets out a soft moan licking his lower lip taking it into his mouth biting at it a bit. You watch him and you moan louder.

"Fuck." you whimper. The tentacles work faster pumping into you harder and faster. Your breasts being squeezed by the others and the others that are wrapped around you wraps a little harder while they spread your limbs a little further. Seonghwa steps closer to you and the tentacles lay you on the blanket and rest your head on the pillows, the tentacles work your body, playing with your senses as one wraps around your neck, he kneels in front of you and two tentacles remove themselves from your sex they wrap around your legs and the one that was left inside you removes itself and starts playing with your back hole.

Biting your lip you look over him as he strokes his cock faster, hovering in front of you as he kneels, your hips rise, almost encouraging him to enter you, he tilts his head and smiles, kneeling down he looks over you and he shoves his cock deep inside you, your hips buckle your back arches and at the same time, he plunges into you the tentacle playing at your back hole shoves itself into you at the same time, penetrating you to a whole other level. You let out a loud moan of pleasure.

With a loud moan of desire escaping his lips, his lips smash against yours while the tentacles play with your breasts, the others pulsate around your limbs, the other pumping in and out of your arse, and him pumping in and out of your sex you are in a state of euphoria, you're unable to collect your thoughts, your breathing picks up and you're close to a climax but you want all of the pleasure he can offer you.

"Good god, you feel so good, Seonghwa, your cock feels perfect, you're perfect. I'm all yours. My fuck I'm all yours!" You scream.

"All. Mine." He grunts as he feels himself close to a climax. Holding you tightly with his tentacles, he has one come up and wrap around your neck, gripping you as it pulsates and squirms almost massaging your throat as both he and his tentacle pump faster into you.

Moaning, you look over his face. "Harder... Please." you beg.

As he is happy to oblige to your request, he drives his cock and tentacle harder and deeper into you. Letting out a heavy moan you arch your back into him. Dripping with your own juices he feels them gush around his cock as he slams into you, feeling how wet you are the way you massage his cock with your walls he closes his eyes and takes a nipple into his mouth as his tentacle grips your throat tighter as they pump harder into you, your breathing and moans pick up faster, judging the volume and the speed and frequency of your moans he, himself grows closer to a climax.

"I want to feel you cum... so do they." He growls against your breast. Without questioning two tentacles enter you along with his thick hard cock. You let out a loud moan feeling yourself being stretched and you grip at the blanket. The tentacles wrapped around your arms hold your arms above your head and you let out a pleasurable scream. Without a second guess, another tentacle enters your back hole along with the other and you scream again. Your body shakes and quivers in pure pleasure. "Cum for us, Y/N!" He demands.

Without even a shadow of a doubt, your body releases all of what it could, shaking. Feeling you soak him and the tentacles, he lets out a heavy groan, gripping at your hips tightly, surely leaving bruises as he releases himself inside, you, pumping further. He didn't stop, nor did the tentacles. As they worked with him, the one around your throat started to massage a bit and he kept pumping, harder, faster, wanting another. "Again." He demands. Hovering over your lips, wanting to feel your breath, your body shook and gave another climax. He pulled himself from you and reached down watching the tentacles fuck you he stroked his soaking wet dripping cock.

The faster they moved the more they squirmed inside you the more you orgasmed, the harder he stroked. When your body started to shake you were unable to think straight, he hovered over you and the tentacle that was around your throat pulled your head up and you opened your mouth and he places his cock in your mouth as you begin to take him into your mouth. He grips your hair at the top of your head and fucks your mouth. Within a few moments he explodes in your mouth, like the good girl you are, you swallow every drop of him.

Slowly the tentacles pull from you, receding back to him, hiding, you look over his face as he kneels over you putting himself away, looking down at you. You bite your lip and you move in a way to stand in front of him, you pull his head to your stomach and hold him close.

"Seonghwa, I vow to you, right here, under the fish above, I am yours, I will have all of you, forever, for always. As long as you have me."

He looks up at you, standing, he leans over, and grabs your dress, sliding it back onto you, and smiles. "Forever, for always." He reached into the pocket of his suit coat and looks over your face and smiles, he wanted to wait. You smile taking his hand, looking around heading down another tunnel and you spot some octopi and smile wide. He stops and looks at you, getting down on one knee he looks up at you.

"Y/N, you've seen all of me, you've seen what I am, felt what I am, and didn't run, you've taken me for all I am, and now, I kneel here, before you, with one question. I vow to you, to be honest, to be true, and to be yours like you have done for me. Y/N I have one question... Marry me?" He looks over your face almost in the horror of being rejected.

You hear him, and you listen to what he says, your eyes close, your throat feels heavy, you let out a soft breath and turn around, "Seonghwa, of course, I will." You wrap your arms around him and hold him close. "I would be honored."

Not saying a word he pulls from you and places the ring on your finger, a special ring with a red cognac and black diamond with a tentacle band, special for you both. Smiling you admire it a moment and hug him again. Taking his hand he looks at your legs and chuckles watching his mess drip down your legs, licking his lips he smiles.

"How about we go back to my place, and you and I take a bath... and see where the night takes us from there." He chuckles.

Eagerly nodding your head, he picks you up and carries you back to the car forgetting about the blankets and pillows in the middle figuring he'd grab them tomorrow, he makes his way to the car and you two are off to his home.

[skypied]

Hi Skypie! Wondering if you saw the interview Enrico Casarosa did with The Wrap about LGBTQ+ themes in Luca? I'm curious to hear your thoughts!

Hey! First of all, I wanted to share that in the two seconds between opening this ask and googling it I forgot the name of the publication, and I giggled for two whole minutes over these suggestions:

(Not brave enough to check what those results will yield. Anyways)

Link to the whole interview.

I'm not very updated on queer subtext in cartoons/”kids’ content” generally, certainly not in Disney, and the meta around them. Heck, I’m not even updated on the meta around Luca, I have barely watched any of the interviews, BTS stuff, just slowly absorbing it as I go in the fandom. But I feel like Enrico's gotta be one of the directors that are more open and positive about this interpretation? When I first got into the fandom I was very pleasantly surprised with how little denial there seemed to be over the queer subtext. I love that. And I love that Enrico seems to genuinely not mind, or enjoy that interpretation.

I am very... I'd rather be pessimistic about these things, but I am a fan and shipper at heart (surprise!) and certain bites of this makes me want to scream. I'm not gonna pull snippets, 'cause it got super long. But how he says "we were really focusing on friendship and so pre-romance". Um. I. Need a moment.

"There’s no crush yet. And we kept on saying, well, the next summer probably, right? And you don’t know which way but we were very aware of let’s not even go there with [Luca and Alberto’s human friend] Giulia. We wanted that to be about friendship for all the trio."

I feel like this is very easy to take as "yes, they will start crushing on each other next summer", but I'm fairly certain he just means it as just "they still haven't begun thinking about those things yet". (And maybe even wording it like that specifically as bait. Sorry, I am a pessimist at heart. I let Taylor Swift’s queerbait me for two years straight and I’m not letting it happen again.)

I really, really love that they made a conscious choice to not make Giulia a romantic interest. Not just for shipping Luberto's sake, but for Giulia's sake. I love that she's a girl who's allowed to just exist and have friends who are boys with absolutely no romantic connotations. (I mean, some people certainly see it and ship her with them, but to me I see absolutely no other connection than instant BFF-ery.)

I also love how, regardless of the intention of maybe hinting at a romance blossoming or not, he’s fully embracing the queer interpretation, and is happy we are seeing ourselves in it and taking it to heart:

“it’s so wonderful and even more powerful for the LGBTQ+ community who has felt so much of as an outsider, right, where this is so real and stronger than my experience(...)“

In conclusion - I am very happy with the way Enrico and the others on the team are dealing with it, and some part of me wants to think they consciously did write it with romantic intention but had to slip it under Disney's nose, but I don't think this is confirmation or anything. It's certainly a lot more positive than a lot of fandoms get from their creators!

I am curious if the mentions of “maybe next summer” is baiting or possibly early hints of more Luca content, though. I’d rather stay pessimistic and be pleasantly surprised if it happens. (Though I am very reluctant about more content ruining the canon we already have, particularly if it’s for setting the boys up with straight love stories. I feel like if the themes of “growing up and figuring yourself out” themes were to continue, romance plots would be the very obvious - and very Disney - route to take.)

[dust2dust34]

Hi Bre! So... I don't know if this is a little random, but I'm looking for Buffy x Angel Fanfic, and i've read that sometimes you've made some references to it but if you could recommend some... hahaha I'm sorry this is so out of the blue, but I'm rewatching buffy and i've never read any fanfic related to it and i'm a big buffy x angel fan hahaha I've been following your olicity fanfics since the begging they are awesome! Thank you so much!

Hey!!! Thank you so much! I like to say that Buffy and Angel were the foundation for my Olicity obsession, there are a lot of similarities between the two ships and how I write/read/view them. 

Ah! BUFFY FIC! I’m so bummed, because I have some links leftover and most of the sites are dead. *clutches heart* It hurts. But some are still active! And you’d be surprised by how many of the authors are on AO3, too, there’s a bunch of fic on there that I have yet to sit down and explore for Buffy/Angel.

Here are some of the links I still have that I definitely recommend:

Gia - Every Six Seconds 

Indie - With Peaches on Top (she was one of the main inspirations for me as a writer, because I read her stuff when I was quite young and impressionable and re-reading some of it has me going, ‘Oh, that’s where that came from’ lol - she does get pretty dark)

Tango - Tangofic

The Buffer (HOLY MOLY I died when I found this link, I’m doing some googling, there is a Becoming archive linked on this site that I LIVED ON ONE ENTIRE SUMMER A VERY LONG TIME AGO - here’s the link. Oh, and here’s a story that literally had my young self sobbing for HOURS - The Wildest Times in the World - lolthiswalkdownmemorylaneisblowingmeaway)

The Naughty Slayer Archive (this is a strictly NC-17 (omg flashback to when things were still labeled NC-17) - quite a few of these are still active)

Cruel Obsessions (I don’t know how you feel about Buffy/Angelus. My dark ass LOVES Angelus, and this is one of the best things I remember reading. I was obsessed with this fic, it’s so dark and it goes so deep into the real trauma of a 17 year old girl being at the mercy of a centuries old sadistic vampire - so beware, if you don’t want to go too dark, don’t read this, but I have to recommend it as much as possible. ALSO, best news ever, Angelfire cleaned up its act so the website is actually accessible again - sweet lord, the days of Angelfire and Geocities and oh my god)

I found this - The Slayer Network Offline - and here’s a page of fics I never thought I’d see again.

Ducks (I’m literally FLYING, I had no idea Ducks was on AO3, one of the links I have is for her site and WHEW THERE SHE IS. Something Old is a lot of fun.)

AO3 has way more than I thought they did for Buffy, I went back and some of the fics are from 1999. I AM DEAD.

These are just a few that I could find at the moment. I have a feeling if I really went diving I would find a lot more somewhere, I just have old links. All of the authors I linked I definitely recommend all of their stories.

[dzpenumbra]

10/19/22

Today was a better day. Catching up on sleep helped a lot. But I'm like 90% sure I'm in a state right now that --- I just Googled it to check --- is called hypervigilance. It is like... super-anxiety. It's like hearing a leaf land on the ground and jumping in surprise. But mine is really taking the form of thoughts, concepts, scenarios, that kinda stuff. The environmental stuff is there, but it's not as intense. I feel like I'm puffing out my chest and being manly, like... Ooooo I'm not scared of the dark. And I do put on that act sometimes. But being alone has genuinely gotten me used to hearing the chipmunks and mice in the wall behind my head and not freaking out. Hearing a sound in the other room and taking a second to identify "is that a cat sound?" before just immediately thinking "there's a murderer in my home" or "the aliens have landed and they specifically want to experiment on me" or some imaginative shit. Ghost is a fun one too, right?

I love how we all make so many movies about this stuff, and go watch it for fun! I used to ALL the time. Play a scary game or something, I used to love that shit. But the second your anxiety actually allows you to believe that it might actually be real. And it might actually be happening right now? The second you find actual faith? When you look in the sky and see something freaky, and you actually go "you know what, that might actually be a UFO". That started uncorking my PTSD, I guess. Somehow. That whole moment of like "you know, there could be someone in your driveway right now scoping out your house to rob it" and you... sincerely believe it. To the point where you're sneakily trying to peek out the window and see the driveway without being seen. I think that shit is way more common than people would ever admit. And it can really fuck with you if you've had an extensive, consistent history of getting a hunch that something sketchy or fucked up was happening, and it turns out... it was.

I think that's a big part of what PTSD is. Getting stuck in that moment, and having that moment come back constantly, set off by the smallest things. For me, it goes in waves. Seasons seem to affect it very strongly, much more than I thought. Summer and Winter tend to actually be very consistent. Transition seasons - Spring and Fall, are the most... I notice myself using this word much more after listening to BTBAM's new album... turbulent. In Spring, I tend to get big bursts of energy and inspiration, creative projects get to massive scales; it's when things are blossoming and I'm going back into the world after being inside most of the time, going out only really to skate and supply runs. If I can capture that motivation, that momentum, and carry it into the Summer, it can grow to a massive scale. I get a shit ton done, and I tend to be outside for the majority of it. When I can, I have no idea how that's gonna work in the city, probably skating... I guess... I don't know.

But Fall... Fall is a tricky one. Right when the seasons change, things start getting a bit nuts. And... I have a lot of difficult anniversaries this time of year. Not just my birthday in the middle of October, but anniversaries of traumas. And quite a few of them, too. So... Fall, as is poetic and in tradition, truly is about death. And the boundary between this world and the Underworld being exceptionally thin. I was reading about Samhain today, a reminder from a little bit of kinda novelty/kinda serious study of Modern Druidry. The history it's rooted in is fascinating and my inner mythology nerd gets really excited to learn new ancient myths. I grew up on Greek and Egyptian mythology, mostly Greek, it was basically the only form of spiritual belief I was exposed to at a young age and it formed very viscerally into my framework of the world. Besides Star Wars, of course. I studied other religions in college and along the way, extensively. And dabbled in practice here and there, out of self discovery.

Samhain is apparently when the barrier between the world and the underworld is thinnest. On Halloween. When all the demons come out to play. When we put really grotesque displays on our lawns... why? Because it's what you do on this day. But... why are you putting an plastic skeleton running over another plastic skeleton with a lawnmower on your lawn? To scare children? To scare adults? To scare... the spirits? I mean, do we even remember why we do this?! I'm not against it at all, I think it's an amazing excuse to be creative and funny and theatrical! And I wish people made more excuses to do that! But like... I just love to find the origins of things. And finding the origin of something that must look so goddamn weird to other cultures who have never heard of it... finding that origin is like... finding something hidden in plain sight on a dollar bill or something. It's like... whoa... I'll never look at it the same again! So... I guess it's when the spirits come back to visit. And maybe it's not like... all spirits are spooky vengeful ghosts making you relive their trauma... Maybe a lot are... but like... don't forget the Caspers. You know? Don't forget Obi Wan, Yoda and Anakin. And Luke, I guess. Sorry new trilogy haters, I haven't weighed in fully yet.

So maybe it makes sense that I get all super sensitive this time of year. And maybe it's just coincidence that this much bad shit happens to me this time of year. Maybe I just feel it more this time of year, I don't know. But I do know that this time of year absolutely embodies the tarot concept of Death to me. "Endings, Failure, Letting go of attachments, Mortality, Profound change, Severe illness" Breakups, Deaths, Panic Attacks, Failing out of college. So yeah, it's pretty dead-on. Badump-tss.

So... I'm very sensitive to it this year. And it's put me in this state the past few days, in tandem with my already existing trauma reopening, of hypervigilance, hyperarousal. When I hear something scary, I start going "what if" and "oh shit" within... nanoseconds. Like the second my brain registers the scary thing (empathizing with others' trauma, empathizing with characters in video games, like real empathy, that kinda thing) my emotions like dread and "oh fuck" just hit like a goddamn truck. And it starts getting real. And it's almost like the feeling of shit getting real happens before the "what if" anxious thought. I guess that would make it a reflex, which is like... I guess the difference between panic and anxiety. So that reflex is just like... hair trigger lately.

But I got some good techniques to try, and I'm gonna get super serious with it this time. Diaphragmic breathing, 4 times a day, more if needed. Learn how to breathe right. I don't pay enough attention to it, and it will likely help me with my sleep apnea shit, so I really need to be consistent with it, and make my automatic breathing healthier. It will make a profound difference in my daily well-being, especially after being a smoker for like 15+ years.

Also, progressive relaxation. Idk if that's the term. Where you relax your body one section at a time, from toes to head or whatever works for you. That has worked well in the past too, I condensed it down to just relaxing my jaw for a bit, but I think I might need some bigger guns for a time like this. And...

Another one that helped me out last night was sorta just taking a minute, getting in touch with my breathing. Bringing myself back to now. And looking around. Seeing that I am safe. Believing that I am safe. Noticing the feeling of being safe, what it physically and emotionally feels like. And remembering what it feels like. And it's weird how alien it feels sometimes. I'm selling short how much that helped, it helped me so much that I put a like on a 2 year old PTSD self-help video and considered writing a comment.

Yes, some of these techniques sound stupid. Or like... small. Like... a change that small won't make a big difference. The way I changed my outlook on these things - yes, I did used to think exactly that, "that's lame hippy shit, how is that going to actually solve such a big problem?!" - was... working with water. Let me elaborate.

I have a stream on my landlord's property. It's not mine, okay. But... it might as well be. Because that thing was precious to me for a good year. It got flooded with gravel after a series of very big storms, the whole inlet into the pond from the stream was just tons of gravel. I have no idea how it all got down there without clogging drainage pipes and stuff. But I started going out there and searching for cool rocks. I loved it since I was a kid, I just never really learned anything about rocks. So I started studying geology, I'm still pretty new but I'm learning a lot. This was a few years ago, btw. And I moved my way up from the gravel area to the stream itself and started to rearrange the stones. To clean leaves and mud out of the area, and make waterfalls and pools, and line the edges. I started reshaping and rejuvenating the area. By the end of that summer, the stream had dried up, but at its peak consisted of two ~10" waterfalls which I designed pools under designed to create a deliberate pitch and tone. I wanted to tune them to minor 3rds, but the stream dried up before I could really put in the time to learn how. I was learning how to direct the water and shape the environment around it to create desired effects. And I learned very well how drastically and surprisingly quick a lazy stream can erode soil. And how subtle changes in flow can cause big changes further downstream. It's a law of nature, a force. And it helped me connect this idea of making changes in your self, your habits, your personality, your decision making, your goals, in a way that is fluid. It doesn't play well with rigidity... but with practice, the combination of structure (shape, design, deliberate direction) and flow (intuition, confidence, emotion, passion, drive, letting go) is what I loved most about what I ended up calling my Zen Garden. What it symbolized, and let me practice physically, like a kid in a sandbox, is a constant reminder of what I seek to attain in my self.

A balance between humanity and nature. Harmony between impulse and reaction - stimulating a result of engagement, not recoiling in fear. The forces of Earth and Water forming something more than the sum of its parts. It's hard to really define without poetry, to be honest. XD Maybe that's why we have it! ;)

I was going to get to bed early tonight, now it's 7 AM. Vet appointment for kitty on Thursday, her crate is washed. My mom is going to go with me. It's not with the vet who put my dog down, its another person I haven't met. Maybe that's better for now. I don't know, it's gonna be hard. Max is really not good at the vet. She's amazing, she's just... a trauma case, like me. And she got separated from her mom at a really young age, so... I mean, it's not her fault. She just gets really scared by them and is very difficult and I don't know how to help reassure her. And she claws and bites and stuff. So... it's gonna be a tough one.

But on a brighter note - even brighter than the sun that's totally up right now... I got more work done on my hoodie. I'm excited to finish this piece up, and I have more fabric markers coming tomorrow. And I mean... a lot more work done. And I'm kinda getting in a rhythm with it, which makes it go much faster. So I'm pretty excited for how this is gonna turn out.

OH SHIT. I had a cool idea in the shower. Wanna get this down before I forget. So, when I first got Max, I made her a necklace out of weaved hemp twine. She would never let me put it on her, she hated it, she constantly tried to take it off. I felt really bad, so I just... never had a collar on her. But... some peoples' cats like collars? I guess? So here's what I thought would be really fuckin cool. A braided hemp collar with a pendant, or beads, or both... that are flourite. So they should glow under a blacklight. I thought yooperlite would be cool too. If you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor and give it a youtube search. Same kinda concept, but very different look, it looks like magma blocks would in Minecraft if it were a real video game. XD

How goddamn cool would that be for like... hippies who want really cool gear for their pets. Or for themselves, daaamn. Both! Maybe I could do dog collars too, that might work. The only part I was hung up on was the latch. Or whatever you call it. I was thinking not using plastics. But I don't know how a cat would react to a metal clasp or something. Is that too much weight? Might be worth testing...

I've been obsessing over this "only local materials gathered by me" shit, but if I could get something really cool like that... unique like that... and get it all polished and custom shaped the way I want it? That would just save me a fuck ton of work and I can just get right to the fun part of putting it all together. So... I think this is a really cool idea, and I think it can mesh well with what I'm currently doing, just adding in more exotic and special materials, instead of just using what I find in the local river.

So, despite the hyper-anxiety, I am still getting really good inspiration, and getting good work done on existing projects. So, I would definitely call today a good day. We'll see what tomorrow brings, because I'm very late for bed!

[studioweus]

Yes it's so good to see him back 🥺 I mean, I'm trying yk XD sometimes I don't watch the mvs, I just put the song/album on and listen like that, I'll just go w whatever gifs I'll see here on tumblr x)

ahhhhh yes!! I don't really watch content for tv shows or interviews, etc.. but yeoreum is such a cutie!! ahh yes let me recommend some of the ones I really like then :') "dreams come true", "plop plop", "secret", "last dance", "unnatural", and the two songs by WJSN the black (it's a sub-uni w just 4 of them). I don't know their earlier albums as well as the more recent ones :/

that's him! :) both him and byeongkwan were in mixnine. donghun really has such an amazing voice, I'm not surprised you remembered that :') omg exactly, sometimes I'm just like, yk what?? no bias in this group, just vibing w the music will be enough u_u (like w onewe, i just. can't choose.) yeh, with dowoon I saw their debut mv and went "him, the drummer, he's the one" XD same with kangmin, though for half a second I considered dongheon

we're always better off staying inside, wise decision on our parts fhdhffjdh. smoothies!! I love fruits so smoothies are definitely good :') ngl, I had to google ice cream sandwich to make sure I knew what it is, I've never had any 😬 I'm not even sure you can find those here?? I usually go for fruits or vegan ice creams (lactose intolerance my enemy u_u), and I love cold beverages like iced tea or iced coffee :') and don't worry about answering late!!! take all the time you need, I'm not very fast either x)) (and I do talk a lot 😬)

haha don't worry i'm the same way sometimes re:mvs 😅 i just listen to the songs and/or the albums as i work or play a game, and then just admire the mv in gif format!

ooh 'secret' was the only song in that list that i recognized, but i ended up listening to the other ones you listed!

oh i'm glad i got him right! i just remembered him by name so i wasn't too sure 😅 haha vibing with the music is enough you're right!! who needs to choose a bias, give all of them the love! there's a lot of love to go around 💖 OMG HIM THE DRUMMER that's amazing LOL dowoon and kangmin, maknaes! icb dongheon nearly snatched you away but honestly when i saw that one verivery video with him walking in as elsa i was also about to question who my bias was

yay fruit smoothie squad 💪 oh?? i would totally send you some ice cream sandwiches because they are delicious haha 🥰 (i will make sure to look for dairy-free ones for you!!) iced tea or iced coffee in this weather sounds nice too ;-; ahhh i want an iced coffee now LOL but it's a little late for caffeine 😅 speaking of iced tea, that reminds me of bubble tea too! altho i don't necessarily restrict bubble tea to summer 😁 if boba stores are open in winter, you best believe i will be stopping by LMAO do you like bubble tea 👀 i know there tend to be a lot of options (and i know some of them are actually milk tea, tho i think you can choose non-dairy milk in your orders for some flavours!)

and nooo don't worry, please talk as much as you want!! i am always all ears 😁 or.. all eyes? LOL

[floatingseaotter]

Contra Mundum

or Summer in the City

Song - Mind Over Matter - Young the Giant

"...at length" count - 24

STORY TIME: Okay, so a couple of years ago i took a 3 month hiatus in the middle of reading Order of the Phoenix because I didn't want to make myself upset over Sirius dying... The same thing has happened here just with other plot points.

I have now realised that this chapter is named after what Remus wrote on the floor in the shrieking shack—which google translated for me to 'defying or opposing everyone else'—so I've put my keen and penetrating mind to the task and, unlike usual, come to a probably correct conclusion... this is a Remus centric chapter.

"He laughed easily and frequently..." is such a nice little description. Especially for five year old Remus and it is upsetting.

A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!

Unfortunately for Lily, Mrs. Evans, Ira the Cat, and anyone who happened upon the Evans house at that time, Petunia's bridal mania was far-reaching and unstoppable.

-- LMAO.

Omg, Mrs. Evans is called Edie! I like it :) Petunia and her pals are so rude. I... don't know why I am surprised. What I am shocked about is the hints on what's going on with Maid Of Honour Yvonne though!

Oh, Lily's owl is called Niko. I think this is the first time he's been mentioned.

JAMES WROTE HER A TWO PAGE LONG LETTER!!!

This—the owl—is Elizabeth the Second, named for the Lady on the muggle money. My old owl has gone into retirement after an unfortunate run in with my Gran's cat Bertram. It seems that was one cat attack too many, and he now refuses to carry mail.

-- of course she is. I love the way James writes letters and also just how people in general write the temperament of owls in fic because it really makes me laugh that they have such an attitude all the time.

First mention of everyones favourite cousin, Sam! Do we get the story of the "Hopefully with a little more than twenty minutes advance notice..." thing that James is talking about in his letter? Hm.

Have you seen anything of You-Know-Who? Not Voldemort. Snape. He lives near you, isn't that right? Petey thinks I shouldn't ask because it's a sore subject. As if "tact" has ever been my style.

-- 💀

Oh Lily has found herself 'inexplicable pleased by the vague possibility of "meeting up with" James (and Peter)'!

Almost exactly a year before, Sirius had shown up on that very doorstep in the middle of the night, soaking and anxious and homeless...

-- :(

Grace Potter is an icon.

"James," she began, eyes downcast once more. "I hope that you know—I hope that you understand that... that no matter what happens—your father and I will still love you very, very much."

"Don't worry, Mum," replied James seriously. "I'm not pregnant."

-- hahahahahah

Narcissa Black has entered the building!!!!! I don't remember this interaction between her and Sirius in the Leaky Cauldron at all. Narcissa actually speaks to him and her voice is described as being "strange—forceful and a bit defiant" and I love how complex people write Narcissa's character—

"It's not too late, Sirius interrupted. "It isn't too late for you, Cissy."

Narcissa took one step forward and opened her mouth to say something. For a moment, there was emotion in her eyes and sincerity in her expression. And then she froze up again.

It is a turbulent time for the Marauders—

"Right, because the fact that you're a wolf one night a month means you have to be a lifeless, pretentious prick for the rest of the time.

-- very turbulent indeed. That was James that said that to Remus.... oof.

"Soyez bienvenus à ma maison."

Lily raised her eyebrows, and Sirius opened the door.

"Welcome," he modified.

-- My 302 day duolingo streak served me well there.

Lily wants James and Sirius to reunite so bad :(

HAHAHAHA James and Remus being stubborn and then 'trudging' back to one another after not even a minute is so funny to me

OoooOOOOoooo timejump!

Lily smiled broadly, inexplicably amused by the sight

-- the serotonin boost that at every single interaction between James and Lily in this fic gives me. They literally bumped into each other in a book shop but I am grinning at the screen.

"Evans!"

Lily raised her eyebrows at his somewhat over-dramatic reaction. "Hi..."

"Hi," replied James, regaining himself. "Sorry—you... startled me."

-- PLEASE he was so excited its so sweet.

OH MY god and then they go out for dinner, don't they. I hate it so much.

The scene with Remus and his mum talking about his lycanthropy is so good but so sad even though it is so short :(

side note: just had to down a cold cup of tea that i forgot about 👍🏻

"That's the problem with magic," she said. "The magic mind has no sense of awe and wonder with the universe."

-- good old whimsical Lily.

It's the wee off-hand comments that are just peppered in that indicate they are thinking about the other or something that just makes me--

Remus had gone outside to stare at the moon, because—he was told—the full moon was a thing of beauty, and tonight was the closest thing he could really appreciate.

-- ☹️

It began because Jame Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew belonged together.

-- I think its quite a nice touch to have Remus be November when he's watching the moon. How the thing that changed his life for the worse in a way, is also the thing that helps him figures things out? How deep, me.

I don't know why I picture every single character in my head as short. None of them are fully grown but they look like adults. I don't know why this is it really bothers me.

REMUS FORGIVES SIRIUS AND I'M CRYING

It wasn't there yet, but the moon had set (the worst of it was over), and the sky was growing pale (optimistic), and soon (pretty soon), the sun would be up.

I am re-reading The Life and Times

And it is getting documented. Purely for my own benefit.

The Life and Times by Jewels5

She was dramatic. He was dynamic. She was precise. He was impulsive. He was James, and she was Lily, and one day they shared a kiss, but before that they shared many arguments, for he was cocky, and she was sweet, and matters of the heart require time.

[aquarianlights]

Hey I just have a question, as a transboy do you wear a binder on a daily basis and how do you deal in the summer if it's hot where you are? I find that it's extremely uncomfortable when it's hot to wear an extra layer and I'm just wondering if you know of any like lighter solutions than a normal binder? Xx

I actually don’t know any lighter solutions to binders, tbh. :/ I’m sorry. My favourite binder is from a company…uhm…GC2B? Or uh…something like that. Anyways…it’s absolutely amazing. And it’s actually rather breatheable, surprisingly. It does still get hot af, though. But I mean…during the summer, if you ARE going to wear binders…wear the ones that only cover the bare minimum. Like…only ones that cover your chest and nothing else. It helps with the heat problem a bunch. 😣 Coz I mean…if you don’t wear a binder, you’re probably gonna wear a bra (I hope???) so that’s still an extra layer in a sense but holy fuck bras are SO MUCH MORE BREATHEABLE THAN BINDERS. Not to mention they don’t squeeze you like binders do. “But that’s common sense, Riles. Don’t even go there.” Okay okay sorry. Tangent.

BUT. To answer your other question…I don’t always bind in the summer for the heat reasons. If I know I’m gonna be outside for more than 30 minutes, I don’t wear a binder. I am susceptible to heat exhaustion because of my medications so I have to be really careful. Not to mention, I get hot as fuck SO easily…and it puts me in SUCH a bad mood, that if someone even so much as rubbed me the wrong way, I would probably snap their neck off. You have no idea how many physical fights I have gotten into simply because it was too hot out and I had been in the sun too long. Fucking hell, I mean, …with what global warming (cough humans cough) is doing to this planet, I would not even be surprised if wearing a binder could KILL YOU in this heat. I mean, in case you missed it, things are literally MELTING in Arizona. Like. Fuck, dude. ._. Idk about you, but, being psychologically tortured and uncomfortable is better than dying of heat stroke or heat exhaustion or yknow…being literally cooked alive from the inside out. So no I don’t really wear binders during the summer. Or hot months in general.

I don’t always wear a binder when it’s comfortable out, either. I have to outwardly portray as female around my family so I don’t get beaten or yelled at or locked up. I also outwardly portray as female when I’m at home in the south. Basically because I’m scared of getting raped or shot or burned alive or whatever. I have had cis men shout at me that they want to “rape the girl back into me” and I have had a gun pointed to my head over my expressing myself as male outwardly. So…I mean…I’m just…scared, tbh. And since I’m in MA SURROUNDED BY FAMILY (aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins, third cousins, …I mean…holy wow, practically my whole damn family is up here so I’m constantly in the presence of everyone AND their friends) I just don’t bother binding. However…I have fairly small breasts and I always wear a bra that tucks them close to my chest in a comfortable way (not always a sports bra). So when I put on my clothes over that…it really only looks like I have little raises on my chest. You can barely tell at all. I mean, yes, you can tell…but it covers it pretty nicely. Helps that my breasts are really small.

But…I do think that I’m gonna start binding when I go to family things now. Coz after talking to one of my second cousins, I have found out that our family is pretty open to the LGBTQIA+ population…as we have QUITE A FEW lesbians and gays in our family. I think I’m the only transgender one, though. But some…a lot…of my family knows what transgender is (surprisingly, even a lot of my older 40-50+ aged family memebers know transgender things)…and I came out to a lot of people I felt it was safe to come out to so far…so I mean…I feel like when my mom introduces me as my birth name, I am going to start stepping up and saying “Please. Call me Riley. I am transgender and I don’t go by that name anymore.” Because I’m finding out that…the north is a LOT more accepting of us than the south is. Like…I don’t feel like I’m gonna get raped or murdered here if I go out of the house with my chest bound and portrayed as outwardly male. So I’m gonna start doing that…coz, I mean… I’m going to be getting on hormones anyways so my family will find out EVENTUALLY ANYWAYS. WHY NOT NOW. UGH.

Fuck. Tangent…sorry, mate. Lol.

But ANYWAYS…to answer your questions:No, I don’t know any cooler options to a binder. If any of my followers know, PLEASE shoot me an ask to publish or respond to this ask in the thread.No, I don’t wear a binder in the summer.

And, yes, I’m completely downplaying how utterly PHYSICALLY ILL it makes me feel to go outside outwardly portraying as female…but I will be damned if I end up passing out in the middle of Boston because I couldn’t handle taking my binder off. I do NOT want to die…and that would be an EXTREMELY painful way to die. And YES the dysphoria it causes makes me FEEL like I’m dying, but…fuck it. I can’t handle heat, man…the way the binders squeeze me makes the heat thing even more unbearable. And binders+heat=panic attacks for me. Coz I feel like I can’t breathe.

So…man…the only thing I can advise is invest in some bras that push your breasts down. Sports bras are a good way to start…but I found some that are a lot softer than that, push without it FEELING like it’s pushing, and gently cup your boobs on the inside with super soft breatheable material. And most of it is netted material…so it’s nice and breatheable. I think I got them at Target? Maybe Wal-Mart. Fuck, I can’t remember.

But I SERIOUSLY recommend getting a binder from these GC2B people. I forget if that’s the right name of the company…I will edit this when I can google it. Sorry. I’m on mobile. BUT ANYWAYS dude lemme fuckin tell you about these badass binders okay. 😎 Like holy fuck where do I start. They’re fashionable, they’re breatheable, they fit like a glove when you get the right size (and omg they have AMAZING staff and customer support that will help you return yours if it’s not the right size and exchange it for another size), they don’t squeeze you to death, they’re made of REALLY nice material, they don’t pull on your shoulders, they come in a variety of colours and skin tones and different models, they’re extremely durable…and they do the job they’re designed to do. And they do it DAMN WELL. When I put mine on, you can’t tell I have boobs at all. It chisels my chest into nice pecs. Like…I could not ask for a better binder. They’re not super expensive either. I mean…yeah, they cost a good bit, but they’re not “expensive”. They cost a COMPLETELY fair amount. And I PROMISE YOU they will help you find your right size no matter how many times you have to exchange sizes. And yes they have a measuring chart…like every FTM shop should!

But anyways I’m going on another tangent.

I’m really sorry I couldn’t answer your questions…Sometimes I wear baggy tops to cover my chest when I’m feeling more dysphoric than usual. And I feel dysphoric every time I don’t bind my chest. So summer fucking sucks. Stay indoors…lol. That’s the best advice…if you do things indoors, a binder shouldn’t be a problem. A/C is a fucking miracle, tbh. 😧

If anyone has any answers or personal experience to share for this lovely person, PLEASE hit up my inbox so I can publish it…or reply to this thread so nons can keep track of it. 🙂

Ily nonny! I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I know that feel all too well… I really hope you find a solution that helps with the awful dysphoria. :/ And if you DO figure out something on your own…PLEASE come back and let me know. I would love to be able to comfortably bind during the summer without being cooked alive by the sun. Lol.

[toyfrog]

So thanks to Skyrva I'm breaking down Diego's "one and only" Interview.

And boy, I had to re-read it due to Google Translation because many of his answers are based off raw definition not necessarily tone or slang. But this was enlightening to say the least. I can see why he hasn't spoken on the writing since 318. I mentioned this before: Lead actors that feel frustrated with the writing or story, will vent overseas. Spader did it for Australia. Now Diego for Poland. Unbelievable. No wonder Ryan Eggold was the only one shooting off his mouth. Embarrassing. Eggold acts like his Keen 2 story direction was planned all along. No it wasn't. and it's still not 100% guaranteed. When a lead actor cannot move demos, their Q rating falls. That means Network receives unfavorables with the overall impression of your character. That hasn't changed and once he returns, audience will see it's far too much of him. That's pretty bad because he's only so far in one episode. They'd be wise to cut him as much as possible in order to not jeopardize numbers. But Diego plainly informs the Polish Press one minute his story and character are progressing like a live movie then by the end of the season nothing. And you got to SHRUG IT OFF and "understand it's a process@ [THATS WHAT HW SAY TO ACTORS ON HOLD. IT DOESN'T LAST LONG. ] Here's why. INTERVIEWER: In the third season, your role has changed, and your character saw more of doubt and pain - [Describe how] you played it? Diego Klattenhoff: At first it was great. [AND THIS IS 3A.]The role was significantly different than at the beginning, [DIEGO IS EXPLAINING HIS ROLE IN STORY IN 3A WAS A SHARP CONTRAST COMPARED TO 3B AND HE KIND OF THROWS SOME SHADE HERE BETWEEN THE TWO STORY DIRECTION. In 3A THE PRODUCTION CREW WROTE IT LIKE] [More like a] “movie series.” I was much more strongly involved in the hunt for Liz. [HERE HE EXPLAINS HE HAD STORY INPUT AND DIRECTION WITH HIS CHARACTER HE WAS MUCH MORE INVOLVED IN THE STORY PROCESS. SOUND FAMILIAR?] Later we returned to a more [PROCEDURAL] nature of the Blacklist . [THE POINT HES MAKING IS IN THE BEGINNING HIS ROLE WAS INTERPERSONAL TIED TO THE SERIAL NATURE of the original canon. IN 3B it's PLOT PLOT PLOT PROCEDURAL NO INTERPERSONAL DIALOGUE ITS DIFFERENT. And RATINGS REFLECTED THAT] The point is not that there is some magic formula that we should stick to, [DIEGO PREFERS CHARACTER DRIVEN STORYTELLING NOT PLOT IT WAS CHARACTER DRIVEN FOR HIM TO HUNT DOWN LIZ BECAUSE OF HIS JOB AND HIS FEELINGS FOR LIZ -CONFLICT IS STORY. WHEN THERE IS NONE, your show CANNOT PROGRESS] but [Its] very interesting [To see] how such changes [AH THERE IT IS. PROOF THAT 3B WAS ALTERED DELIBERATELY-HE WAS LED TO BELIEVE ONE STORY THEN THEY DROPPED IT AT THE END] affect the series itself and its perception by the audience. [INTERESTING TO HIM HOW THOSE CHANGES IN 3B occurred and how it's PERCEIVED BY THE AUDIENCE] INTERVIEWER: Ressler was torn by internal conflicts. I think that it [played very well]. Yes, [On] the one hand, he wanted [To arrest her] [Because she's a killer] on the other hand … he loved her. [Lets take this apart because it's important. HES GIVING STORY DIRECTION. DIEGO WAS TO PLAY 3A ,CONFLICTED BECAUSE ON ONE HAND HE WANTED TO ARREST A CRIMINAL. On The other hand..HE LOVED HER. SO THERES YOUR CONFIRMATION. RESSLER IS STILL IN LOVE WITH LIZ. AND HE WAS TO PLAY IT THAT WAY. But then 3B changed everything and he mentions that. He is not happy he's frustrated and u cannot blame him.] Just as in life. [NOW THIS IS INTERESTING. He's basically saying, YOU LOVE THIS PERSON, but you want to "kill them" at the same time when they HURT YOU. HE IS ALSO EXPLAINING THE CURRENT STORYLINE NOW. RESSLER/LIZ WENT DIFFERENT WAYS FEELINGS THERE BUT NOT TOGETHER. He's BASICALLY USING A REAL ANALOGY TO DESCRIBE THAT RESSLER RIGHT NOW HAS THAT SAM/DIANE LOVE/Hate thing going on because Liz makes him crazy...and do crazy things...she violates his ethics...but he's got feelings for her So he copes] I do not mean that specifically with Megan, [NO WE GET IT DIEGO ] but to people in general. There are certain things that you love. [THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT YOU LOVE IN REGARDS TO A PERSON ][When you start to go in a different direction theres more fun] [NOW WE ARE BACK TO STORY DIRECTION] Not always to the end, [AS IN THE LAST 3 EPISODES WERE CHANGED ] you know which way everything is moving, [As IN EVERYTHING WAS MOVING FORWARD WITH KEENLER THEN IT STOPPED AT GREGORY DEVRY] but then you just have to shrug and tell yourself that this is a process that also depends on the other person. [SO THE DUMB ASSED WRITERS HAVE RESSLER IN LOVE WITH LIZ, BUT RESSLER BELIEVES LIZ IS IN LOVE WITH TOM (SO SICK SERIOUSLY BUT THATS WHY RATINGS ARE DOWN RESSLER IS IN LOVE WITH LIZ WHEN HE SEES HER AT THE SUMMER PALACE BUT HIS WORLD OF BLACK AND WHITE[Shes with Tom he won't touch that] Since [Its about] both of you. [He's saying IT CANNOT BE ONE SIDED] Let’s say - you appear in [a scene], [NOW HES TELLING YOU WHAT HAPPENS BTS AS IN YOU SEE THEM GIVE EYES A LOOK SIGNALING MORE THAN JUST IN THAT MOMENT SOMETHING ELSE IS GOING ON AND HE CANNOT PLAY IT LIKE THAT WITHOUT MEGAN GIVING AS MUCH AS HE DOES IN THOSE SCENES. How she gives moon eyes to him] and although you do not see the [scene] make sense, [HES TALKING ABOUT WITHOUT DIALOGUE ACTION IS MOVABLE STORY NOT JUST IN STUNTS BUT INTERPERSONAL DIALOGUE AND WHEN ITS GONE, THEY PLAY TENSION OR AS WE SAY IN THE SCRIPT LIKE AT THE END OF LADY AMBROSIA PLAY THE MOMENT. LIZ LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS LONGING FOR RESSLER] you have to do something, because I have to. With this, it was very pleasant. [I THINK HE USED A DIFFERENT WORD BUT YOU GET THE GIST. THEY CREATED SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING WITH THOSE LONGING LOOKS. AND THIS IS 3A & 3B HES TALKING ABOUT. THERES SOMETHING UNDER THE SURFACE. A SCENE MAKES NO SENSE BUT THEY GIVE THESE LOOKS.] Megan is a great person, very well with her game, she can contribute a lot to the show, so this type of relationship is very engaging. [AGAIN HES REFERRING TO KEENLER AND ENGAGING I DON'T THINK HE USED THAT WORD EITHER I think he used APPEALING SAME MEANING] We’ll see how it unfolds in the year. [SO HERE AGAIN DIEGO EXPLAINS KEENLER IS UP IN THE AIR NOT DEAD BUT UNEXPLAINED AND ALTHOUGH SCENES MAKE NO SENSE THEY ARE STILL PLAYING SOMETHING ELSE. EXAMPLE: Blacklist PR ASKED "DO WE SENSE SOME TENSION?" That one scene episode 3, Liz stares down Ressler in his office. He looks down. That's deliberate SO HE IS TELLING FANS A YEAR. TRULY DISGUSTING HIS CHARACTER IS ON HOLD TILL THE DAMN KEEN2CRAP PLAYS OUT. But that's basically what he's saying. Keenler isn't dead, just limbo] [I SAID THIS BEFORE WITH RATINGS IN FREE FALL THEY'D BE SUICIDAL NOT TO DO KEENLER AFTER ALL THIS GARBAGE. THEY WERE HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION SO GO BACK BEFORE THE SHOW DIES BECAUSE OF ONE CHARACTER. DIEGO NEVER MENTIONS HIM AND HE DOESNT GIVE STORY INPUT ABOUT LIZ FEELINGS EITHER, JUST HOW MEGAN AND HIM WERE PLAYING IT IN 3A and then how they continued to play it in 3B] INTERVIEWER: I assume that a few weeks after the death of Liz people accosted you on the street and asked for information, and you could not tell them anything …[YES HE WAS ON GAG ORDER WHENEVER A SHOW IS DARK ACTORS CANNOT REVEAL STORY INPUT. ILL BE REALLY SURPRISED IF BLACKLIST LEAKS-Not because OF SPOILERS BUT BECAUSE THEY CHANGE STORY ALWAYS AT THE LAST MINUTE. [THEY NEVER STICK TO THEIR OWN ARC] Frankly, given the nature of the shocking death of [Liz] my character had neither too long nor too many scenes that relate to it. [HERE HE IS FRUSTRATED AGAIN. AND WE ALL KNOW WHY. THEY DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING AT THE END. STORY AS HE MENTIONED WAS GOING FINE UP UNTIL THE END] That’s why I was surprised that people ask [me] about it. Because several of these people were, [Yes they wanted to know where was RESSLER AND WHY DIDN'T HE HAVE SCENES ] I agree. [I DO LOVE THIS SHADE HE GIVES, BECAUSE HES RIGHT. How they wrote 3B was selfish and deceptive.] It is unfortunate that the writers did not pay more attention to this, [or] how this situation has affected Ressler. [YES THIS IS WHY BOKENKAMP/Eisendrath PROMISED DIEGO IN SEPTEMBER THEY WERE WORKING ON STORY FOR HIM YET DIEGO DIDN'T TWEET BACK NOR ENGAGE IN ANYTHING AFTER LAST YEAR SINCE 318-WHEN THE STORY CHANGED IN PRESENT TIME FOR HIM] I was a little surprised, in the end they were partners. There was some animosity between them in the first and second season, but then everything started [To play like they got along well ] [But] There has not been any romantic themes. [Now this is IMPORTANT. Go back to 317-318 320 dialogue-LIZ WEDDING COOPER GIVES THE SPEECH] I spoke with our television series advisor. The FBI and various police about what feeds the feelings to your partner. [CRYPTIC DIEGO GIVING YOU STORY DIRECTION WITHOUT REVEALING STORY. GO TO ARTAX NETWORK AND READ TOM KEENS TEXT TO AGNES DOCTOR AND HOW TOM AND LIZ THOUGHT OF EACH OTHER AND YOU MATCH THAT TO WHAT DIEGO SAYS HERE. Same with the wedding vows] Everyone said that due to the fact that so much time is spent away from the family, the partners become for you family. I think this year, this knowledge somehow pays off. [SO YOU HAD BOKENKAMP AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON TALK ABOUT THE TASK FORCE AS A FAMILY YET NONE OF THEM INTERACT LIKE A FAMILY YET RESSLER AND LIZ ARE PARTNERS AGAIN AND TOM IS GONE. OK SO ARE WE GETTING THE GIST OF WHAT HE IS SAYING? ILL GIVE YOU A HINT IN NATALIE LUCA ALONG WITH THE FORBIDDEN LOVE ANGLE LIZ SHOUTS AND RESSLR ADMITS THE COUPLE FELL FOR EACH OTHER IN THE WORKPLACE, LIZ AND TOM REFER TO KEEN 3 as "This family" not "our family." BOKENKAMP WROTE IT AND ITS DELIBERATE DIALOGUE BECAUSE THEY BOTH REPEAT IT BEFORE ADMITTING THEY ARE FALLING APART EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TOGETHER.] image INTERVIEWER: It’s nice that there was a little warm feelings from Samar. Whether it will develop? I do not think so. [THAT WAS MATTER OF FACT.] They wanted to go this route, but later it became a one-off, a closed issue. [I KNOW WHY LOL EISENDRATH WANTED THIS SO KEEN2 COULD HAPPEN] I do not know what will happen after the fourth episode of the new season. [BUT HE KNEW SAMAR HAD FEELINGS FOR ARAM.] Samar discovered [Her] feelings [For Aram] before Ressler, but I do not know yet how he will approach this. [RESSLER DIDCOVERS SAMARS FEELINGS FOR ARAM BUT HE DOESNT KNOW HOW HE APPROACHES IT.] INTERVIEWER: What is the beginning of the fourth season for the Ressler? We begin where it left off [from] the previous season. We’re trying to find Liz. Ressler follows the footsteps, trying to find Tom, and then Agnes. It is not easy for him, because he lives in a world where everything is black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. In this matter I think nothing has changed. [PLOT MODE] INTERVIEWER: Some of the current topics feature almost predicted the events that occurred in the real world. This applies to several series, which played in the Homeland. Is this something you are looking for, what do you care? [IS DIEGO LOOKING FOR STORIES ON THE BLACKLIST TO REFLECT REAL LIFE LIKE HOMELAND? HERES ONE HINT: SALKE IS.] I think it goes hand in hand with a good script. [SHADE] [It worked out really well for Law and order. Homeland [showed] almost exactly what happened in Paris. But those scenarios were created months earlier. [Predicting the future.] Much depends on whether the [STORY] board [has writers] who feel what can happen and which way [the] events will turn out. Something like this testifies to the fact that the show is good, it is well written. [AND WE KNOW FROM THE RATINGS, the plot mode of 3B THAT THE SHOW IS HORRIBLE AND ITS WRITING.] I hoped that was easier to read. IMO I'd expect the worst, until the show gives concrete story to give you otherwise. [THE SHOW IS DARK FOR A REASON] PS I haven't seen this gift before what was the dialogue surrounding it because once again these two are expressing mutual sadness that relates not to the case but each other. That's a medium panoramic and it's done to capture reaction simultaneously. Such as...👇🏻