#I'm a little angry bc it should NOT have take me this long but alas here we are

[elviraaxen]

comic is Going!! It sure is going!!

[tyunn1ngz]

Yeonjun being your ceo hubby and you both got in a argument but had to go to a party so he spent the whole night talking with other people and you got bored so you went to go dance with a guy and Yeonjun pulled you back saying

"I know we aren't in good terms at the moment but if you think I'm gonna let you be touched by another man that isn't me the you are fucking crazy"

And either you tell him to fuck off and it turns into angry sex when you both get back or he drags you out the party and he drives to a empty car park and you both fuck in the backseat 😁

UR INSANNEEEEEEEEEEEE. cw hes kinda mean and hypocritical ? idk also i got so carried away w this dont ask me why its 1k words i literally dk what happened,,,,

no bc i imagine it would be something sooooo petty, something that clearly needed to just be chatted about but the time just slips and suddenly your attitude is just through the roof while you have to converse at this stupid party with a bunch of snobs who you decide in the heat of your anger he’s just like (you know he’s not)

and every word yeonjun speaks just serves to piss you off more >:( that dumb smile on his face like he didn’t upset you and then cater to everyone else with such ease. pretending like everything’s okay, like how dare he ! 🙄

the final straw being that maybe he laughs a little too loud at one of his employees jokes, leaned a little too close in to hear them, allowed touches that linger too long to be friendly intentions; all while he’s almost completely ignored you all evening, when you were only here for him anyway— all dolled up just for him to argue with you and then ignore you.

so you take your interest elsewhere, allowing whatever guest next hits you with a ‘no pretty little thing like you should be pouting like that’ to be your entertainment.

it doesn’t work as intended at first, your eyes consistently darting back and forth between this stranger and yeonjun, who seemingly doesn’t pay you any mind. you deflate a little, chugging back the rest of the champagne in your glass.

and then, this stranger, who you have yet to gain the name of, tries to touch you. he starts with a click of his tongue, grinning as he tilts his head a little. ‘come on, darling. don’t look so sad. i’ll keep you company… get you another drink?’ and his hands begin a slide for your waist.

alas! he’s abruptly stopped by a grasp on his wrist, tight and practically a chokehold around the limb. you know those fingers anywhere.

‘they’re fine. thanks.’ yeonjun says, composed and completely nonchalant on the surface of his tone. but you can see his grip must hurt, can hear the dip of frustration in his voice.

and then you’re being lead by his hands, gentle loving touch ever not present, until the breeze of night air bites at your skin. you frown, and pull yourself free from his clutch, standing before him looking just as frustrated as he seems to feel.

‘the hell are you doing?’ to which he scoffs a laugh, cold as the temperature that wisps at your face in bursts of wind.

‘the fuck are you doing?’

your brows furrow, anger settling under your skin again, your whole body tense. ‘what the fuck’s that supposed to mean?’

‘were you just going to let him lay his hands on you? you seemed real comfortable.’ he’ll tell you, tongue in cheek. it’s unbelievable, completely ironic that you feel maniacal.

‘you can’t be fucking serious,’ you smile despite yourself, ‘you cannot be fucking serious, yeonjun.’

silence falls over you two for a moment, every ticking second he just looks more and more pissed. you stand there practically urging him on, disbelief written across your features in such clear displays. yet, he’s still quiet, and somehow it scares you just a little. but fuck, he’s such a hypocrite! you’re the bad guy when he had hands on himself all night with no protest? you are the one in trouble like he didn’t ignore you all alone at his work party?

‘let’s go.’

you’re broken from your reverie of rageful stomping thoughts, the build up of all the mean things you want to scream at him quickly fading. now a little thrown off by the calmness of his voice, tone void of any actual emotion, your mouth drops open a little despite nothing to say.

‘huh?’

‘i said, we’re going.’

dumbfounded, you find yourself tugged along again, towards the car park where you think an awkward, tense ride home will await you. where you expect a pillow and spare blanket thrown haphazardly over the couch by the end of the night.

the last thing on your mental list to expect is being pushed up against the passenger side door, caged in with a finger under your chin, a hand on your hips. your eyes are frantic in search of explanation as you look up at your husband in shock.

his thumb moves to your lips, pressing into the soft flesh where you've already parted in a quiet gasp. yeonjun grins a little, eyes dark and full of mirth.

‘you've had an attitude all day, baby,' he'll say, 'you know well there's nobody else for me than you, hm? no matter how bratty you get with me.'

you gently bite as his finger in retort, 'still doesn't explain your sudden work wife, does it?'

his grin widens, a tad scary in terms of trying to provoke a more negative response. 'just like you throwing yourself at my coworker, yeah? bit desperate for attention, don't you think?'

you bristle, 'he was keeping me company while you whored yourself out, but okay.'

he doesn't falter like you want him to, but his hands tighten on you. he tilts his head.

'yeah? why don't you go back inside to him then? think he could fuck you right, sweetheart?'

oh.

you twitch a little, breath exhaled less confident than before, and he's quick to notice it with such a smug smile. you want to wipe it right off his face, but you fear everything you've built yourself up with tonight is quickly crumbling down.

'maybe he could.' but he can hear how unsure you sound, and he laughs. he's condescending you now. yeonjun hums, leaning closer.

'you don't sound so confident. what makes you think he could handle your attitude, anyway?'

you lack the words, the bite, falling so quiet as he stares at you intently. eyes trained on every tiny change your body language gives him. your eyes stare back, already glassy while your lips start to pout. but you snark once more.

'fuck you.'

it's a haze. because before you can even begin to think of saying anything further, he's got you in his backseat. you're bent over, his chest to your back, your attire completely dishevelled and underwear ripped down your legs, as he fucks into you so hard you know you'll feel it for days to come.

he pants hotly right into your ear, ‘you can be mad at me all you want, baby, but nobody touches you except me, you understand that?’

you can only mewl in response, already too fucked out as the pleasure turns your brain into mush. however, he’s not satisfied with that, and with a grunt he reels his hand back to lay a loud slap on the fat of your ass.

‘i asked you a question, i expect a fucking answer. or are you already too fucking stupid on my cock to talk?’

you sob, nodding your head frantically while you try to hold yourself up on trembling limbs. ‘yes, yes. i understand’

his thrusts manage to grow rougher, and you fall forward until your face presses into the leather of the seats.

‘so cute when you cry. you ready to apologise to me? hm? tell me you’re sorry for being such a brat to me.’

‘m’sorry!’ you cry, another spank this time landing on your thigh, ‘m’sorry, ‘jun. won’t happen again.’

he laughs as he throws his head back, hands on your hips to fuck you on his cock. he’s breathless but it’s so so hot.

‘liar. i’ve spoilt you too much. all you know now is how to get what you want. and this is what you wanted? for me to fuck some sense into you?’

you know it’s technically not true, he knows that too, but you start nodding frantically regardless. the haze of your pleasure renders you to his complete mercy.

‘yes! i’m sorry. just need you. always need you.’

‘you have me, angel.’ he grunts on a particularly harsh jolt of his hips, cock hitting a deeper angle as you cry out so loud you almost miss his words.

‘y’always have me. let me prove it to you? want me to knock you up? m’gonna make you a mommy.’

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

What are your favorite quotes from the Táin or other UC texts? Asking for non-tattoo related purposes I swear.

big question! these are just going to be off the top of my head tbh (well, i will look up the exact wordings, but i am going by what quotes come to mind without me scouring the text)

one of my favourites from TBC is from the stowe manuscript specifically, so it's not in the early versions of the text (you can tell from the gross 15th century spellings), but it's from a poem that ferdia speaks before he fights cú chulainn:

"truagh a dhé teacht do mhnaoi eadrom agus é leth mo chroidhe in Cú cen col is leth croidhe na Con mé"

which loosely translates as "alas, o God, that a woman should come between me and him | the faultless Hound is half my heart, and I am half of his" (trans.... honestly i forgot, sorry)

#gay

tbh, there are a lot of good quotes in comrac fir diad, especially in cú chulainn's lament for fer diad -- e.g. i love the repeated "all play, all sport" motif ("Cluchi cách, gaíne cách") bc of all the symbolism there of lost youth and innocence in the moment of ferdia's death

i also really like the bit in oidheadh con culainn where cú chulainn is begging láeg to leave the battle and stay safe so he can take the news to emer and he says

‘Beirsi buaidh 7 bennachtain,’ ar Cú Chulainn, ‘óir ní fuair tigerna riam 7 ní fuighbe tigerna tarm ési gilla bus ferr ná tusa. 7 do-berimsi mo briathar co cluinfiter fo Erinn uile mar dígheóladsa aniu tú. 7 do-berim briathar óntís do chenglamar aráen re chéile in cétlá, nach tarrla ar n-imscarad ná ar n-imrisin re chéile do lá nó d-oidchi riam co háes na huairi so.'

“Take victory and blessing,” said Cú Chulainn, “because no lord ever found nor will any lord after me find a gilla who is better than you. And I give you my word that it will be heard throughout all of Ireland how I will avenge you today, and I give my word that since the first day we bound ourselves together, we never before separated or quarrelled, day or night, until this very moment." (trans. longman)

emph mine but oh my god. they're so married. that one's probably a bit long for a tattoo though lmao

also there are a lot of very excellently gay cu chulainn/laeg quotes in toruigheacht gruaidhe griansholus but we'll be here all night if i start pulling those out. the bit where laeg asks to be buried in his grave though... it's verse again, verse is good, it's

lodhlaicfior misi ionnat' fheart, Bu h-ionann leacht dhuit-si is dúinn I shall be buried in thy grave One tombstone shall we have (trans. o'rahilly)

there's a definite theme here of me just liking the gay declarations of affection which. yeah. i do. i only tend to remember things i get emotional about so even if i like other lines in the moment that i'm reading them, these are the ones that stick with me!

but i do also like really like the line in TBC where cu chulainn calls himself a "little creature":

"Acht dia festa-su, is andíaraid in míl bec fégai-siu .i. missi." "But if only you knew it, the little creature you are looking at, namely, myself, is wrathful." (trans. o'rahilly)

purely for the vibes of calling himself a míl bec, yunno. i feel like "is andíaraid in míl bec fégai-siu" would make quite a badass tattoo -- that fragment alone might be translated as "the little creature you are looking at is fierce". though this probably only works if you're short. if you're tall i'm not sure you can use that one hahaha (andíaraid is 'wrathful, fierce, angry; baleful, baneful' so basically if you're small and pissed off, that's a good one)

that's all that's coming to mind rn, not sure if those are of any use but if i think of anything else i'll add it on later (realistically that'll be next time i'm combing the text for a random detail and spot a line i enjoy haha)

[peachpitmp3]

sgdiufhkjsdfj that's alright no worries !! time is. [insert weird keysmash that's supposed to sound like a weird incoherent mouth noise]

!! dude i would love that, i'm sure they all look great :)

AH RIP YOUR WIFI (although i did get your ask so i know it came back on dhsufijskd)

</33 feel like pure shit just want my ability to get good grades back /hj (damn this sounds stuck up,, but i'm honestly so jealous of the me who did Well In School)

!!!! right. how come you guys get to have your lives semi together while i'm so very lost hALp-

so valid of you, bees are so much nicer in minecraft. but that's just?? so messed up wtf. it's a valid fear, you can't just get mad- bro >:(( i will hit those people with a textbook.

ohhhh i get that dude. and i mean, in theory, you spend the most time with yourself, so you'd know yourself best right? (this is not,, really how it works but it should be. although like. people who Know You >>> ) if it's any help, i think you're really cool and an incredible person + friend!! (i looovvee youuuu /p)

yeah !!! when the little gay people in my phone think about me when i'm not here,, so true. dude that makes so much sense. expensive things are nice in theory bc they're spending money or whatever but it doesn't feel as genuine and personal. oh god same, i'd just lose the object if i ever tried using it and then it's a waste. also !! cheap pens are incredible.

nice nice !! dark mode is very good for nighttime tumblr stuff fsjkd. spooky season <3 that's valid though, it's much easier to change your pfp or something like that bc it doesn't take up your whole screen ykmnow.

i'm using vampire on my computer, which is Very Vibey and basically is dark mode, but with times new roman font (or something similar) and i like it!! and then low-contrast blue classic gray dull whatever on my phone

have to agree with you, probably expensive things. either that or something that is so far from me. like,, if someone gave me an item of clothing that's nice, but is entirely not my style and never something i'd wear. or a book, but it's a Heterosexual Romance Novel™️. it's a nice gesture but,, it just shows that you don't know me that well and at that point, i'd rather you just get me a gift card that i'll save for three years and never end up using.

i try!! it never ends up working cause i usually lose/forget or lose interest in the stuff, or i never remember to add to it until after it's needed. i do like floral patterns !! don't have that many things with them, but as long as they aren't super flashy and loud i'd use them!

well. i full on failed a test, in ENGLISH. we had a quiz (but it was basically a test and i'm still pissed) that was weirdly specific about parts of the play we're reading in class, and i failed. and my english teacher is One of Those Teachers who says shit like "there's no extra credit irl, so there's no extra credit here" and "i don't give 100s bc there's always room for improvement". aNYWAYS. it's fine. whatever. marking period ends in literally two days and i'm soclose to failing that class but whatever!! (and then i went on to basically-fail two more tests! i wasn't. i wasn't exaggerating when i said gifted child burnout. So Angry at myself.)

ooh !! for national coming out day (although technically it was a few days before since we had the day off for indigenous people's day) my school had little pride ribbons, and i had a couple Queer Interactions!! had my trans pin and i felt very swag :D (just like to add that the queers don't ask my pronouns nearly as often as the cishets :/)

what's something that made you angry or sad this past week? what was the highlight of your week? which emoticon do you think describes your personality the best? something that you always seem to forget? something cool/new you found out and want to tell someone? - 🌵

NO LITERALLY MOOD. i would kill to have straight a's without breaking my brain every time i went to school. alas.

BEES ARE SO MUCH NICER IN MINECRAFT. im actually. i love that so much. thank you so much for that im actually laughing ily

thank you that is very very sweet yes !! i am learning how to know things about myself and how to know facts vs filtereds and it is very difficult but it is good :D and obviously you are wonderful and amazing and i love you so much a lot too /p

WHEN THE LITTLE GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONE THINK ABOUT ME WHEN IM NOT HERE. god ...... little gay people in my phone .... beloveds. so true. i think i think you are a little gay people in my phone !!!

OOOOH vampire thats so cool yes okay vibes i might switch mine but idk :D

GOD YEAH literally . if you get me something that i cant use and dont want then it's like. double unhelpful bc ill feel guilty about getting rid of it.

omg mood i forget and lose interest in everything. it's a problem DSHGJFSDJFSLDJFL.

oh bestie im so sorry..... that sounds so stressful and your teacher - no offense - sounds very bad and not like a good teacher. there IS extra credit in daily life it is called compliments and bonuses and extra happies and god shut up does your teacher not know how teenage brains work. fuck. im sorry.

PRIDE RIBBONS. QUEER INTERACTIONS. SO TRUE BESTIE. trans pin so true oh my god. yes. oh bestie yeah i've noticed that as well :( maybe bc they dont wanna out you?? but also it can be frustrating :( esp when then they use the wrong pronouns ://

something that made me angry or sad...... i think. hm. uhhh. i realized how few people use my correct pronouns? and i also realized how few people i've told. and also i realized that i never, never, never correct people when they get it wrong. and that makes me sad at myself. not angry, because i get it, and i don't want my friends to get irritated at me for correcting them, and i just don't like confrontation. but it makes me sad because i know. i know that i shouldn't have to worry about this. and some of my friends keep asking me 'hey your pronouns are they/them right' whenever they overhear someone use she. and im like yeah. and it's just. exhausting i dont know.

the highlight of my week.... i planned a hangout with one of my new friends!!! i felt really really valued in our conversation and i felt important and i felt like she actually wanted to be around me and that was really exciting. also i am very touch starved and i have been holding hands and doing a lot of casual affection with one of my other friends and it's been really really REALLY nice.

ooooh okay lemme think. emoticon. probably :) because im vibing but it can also be used as a sarcastic thing which i am and i am not always vibing yk

something i always seem to forget is literally my own goddamn pronouns. i swear to god no one misgenders me more than i misgender myself /lh

oooh !! lemme think !!!!! OH !! so in physics when you are doing position and velocity and acceleration. it is the same thing as calculus when you are doing derivatives!!!!! position graph is the normal f(x) and then velocity is the derivative of that which is f'(x) because it is the slope at each point of the position graph. and then f''(x) or the derivative of velocity is the acceleration because it's the slope of the velocity graph!!!!!!!!! you can apply math to physics and physics to math !!! and i am taking those classes at the same time and learning those units at the same time !! it is very exciting i am happy

questions for thou (thee?): what emoticon describes you? what's something you found out that you wanna share? what's your go-to response when a random person asks how you're doing or how it's going? if you could forget AND remember one time in your life, what would you choose? would you want to do either one of them? are you more puns or dad jokes?

[caesurabywriting]

do you have a drabble or headcanon of your otp: fooling the world & each other becoming engaged? pretty please. c: i'm curious.

because you said please + i’ll take any excuse to talk about them, i’m obligated to answer this. honestly i have way too many headcanons but i’m going to try and be concise and coherent here (+ huge apologies for how long this is anyway, but these two are hella complicated and i’m way too Extra for their angst)headcanons:

- they only get engaged because she claims she’s pregnant (spoiler alert: she’s not, but she’s relying on the fact that she can get pregnant soon after/in a close enough window for it to be true) - she uses that excuse to get his attention bc he seemed to be getting more and more distant and passive re: their relationship and she wanted to have a way to lock him down even if she has to heavily manipulate the situation to get her way. she’s like a milder form of amy dunne.- she’s also the poster child for abandonment and trust issues because her parents were awful, but it’s what brought them ~together~ in the first place. his ex-gf, viv, was her best friend. they all lived together in NYC, along w tom’s own bestie, for six years ( which is what #manhattan memoirs is about ) before viv one day abruptly moved out without an explanation, dropping contact with them both, abandoning their perfect unit of four. up until that point tom and tessa barely tolerated each other + had an ongoing banter thing going on. she had a short fuse and he loved to light it at any chance he got. antagonizing her was his favorite hobby. later on, they proceeded to ‘bond’ over angry and angsty hate sex to avoid being sad over her viv’s departure. but then feelings were caught. oops. anyways…- she’s a ~first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby~ kind of person, and he knows this. having a baby without being married first would be a huge deal breaker for her. if he declined stepping up to ask her to marry him there would be no baby and she’d tell him to leave (in theory, but between you and me i don’t think she could and would have come up with something more dramatic to get his undying attention)- it was very non romantic and went down more like a business deal discussion. she presented a serious ultimatum that needed addressing. she sprung it on him. essentially, pre-proposing his proposal. there was no ring or down-on-one-knee business. it was very much a highly staked version of ‘should i stay or should i go?’- she went out by herself after the ‘proposal’ and chose her own ring and everything. anything he chose would have been complained about and returned- he wanted/wants to propose again in a more romantic and thoughtful way because even though he’s pretty neutral about marriage, he sees it’s important to her and she deserves the best of things. alas, time kept ticking by and it seemed like he’d lost his shot, so he kept such plans to himself and lets her resent him a little extra for his apparent lack of involvement, as usual.i do not have a full drabble composed ( yet - but i probably will one day even though it will ruin my life ), but i do have various fragmented flashback/extracts from actual replies/past threads that may or may not make sense out of context but, regardless, i’ve collected them below if you’re interested on a glimpse of things somewhat engagement-related:

1. Their tables had done more than shift, they had been flipped and spun out. The undeniable truth tightly wrapped around his reality, pinning him transfixed in place. For better or for worse, those two lines had seen Tom’s uncontrolled fishtailing hitched onto a finite track. A duo of one dimensional pink had the power to change everything. Tom blinked over dilated pupils, his sentimental conscience sucker punched by a one-two hit of remorse and disquietude. It was all still etched into him like the grooves of a record, designed to be played on repeat at his masochistic leisure — Tessa presenting herself empty handed after already discarding the evidence, bearing the news with clutched hands and a penetrating gaze. Her voice, poised and decisively urgent: ’Stay.’ They were standing in the same room for the first time in three days. He’d avoided the sheen of her dark hair for the floorboards, ‘That’s not all you’re asking.’ His timbre noticeably wavered in comparison to hers. Like a whip, Tessa’s voice cut across with a warning flatline: ‘No. It’s what we are.’ Her eyes, calculating, soften magnanimously the moment he looks up, ‘You know your answer, don’t you, Thomas?’ 2. Her reveal had been a surprise. Admittedly, he was the only one to blame for that belief, his sense of awareness not particularly careful nor attentive during the time between an office shift ending and them falling from a fight into a bed together. In all it’s ‘A one time thing. We’re not doing this again,’ ( gradually switched out for ‘make it a one more time thing,’ ) glory. What had only ever been meant to be a secondary arrangement, intended to fill space, to pass time. The most beneficial way to end a combative argument. It was an exhausting interlude that matched the tone of his routine, wearing him down until he was nothing but fine grains. He had been confused, torn, and collectable.3. No celebratory graduation ceremony marked their progression as they impassively watched their shared temperature rise from ‘fling’ to ‘fiancé’, endlessly fluctuating between offensively heated and dishearteningly tepid throughout. Their anniversaries as somber as the sticker announcing it on the square of calendar. That catalyzing moment of history turned away from very deliberately. There were no sweet heart-eyed how did you two meet narratives to supply. Just Mr. Type-B and Ms. Type-A, two heartbroken kids susceptible to distraction. Amusing themselves until it became real. Maybe it did. Or maybe it was harmless and it was pure paranoia making it seem like a neon sign blinked above his head in an infinite line of alarmed exclamation marks.4. Wreckage was imminent no matter which way the pieces aligned. Home ( now ) was sleeplessly staring at a ceiling, deliberating in the dark and into the glow of the morning. Most of all, an internal pleading line of looped thought: Oh, God, let today be a normal day. Let him be normally nervous, unhesitating, and spontaneously happy. Let him not squint as Tessa walked away, the disheveled shadow of dark hair thrown down her back strongly evoking of another’s in poor lighting. Familiar shades of umber and taupe clashing with the lesser known notes of sangria and mint on her breath, the scent of rose in her hair. Tessa, an intended sojourn; a breathing space. An operating lightbulb to illuminate the dreary darkness of a vicissitude neither wanted to admit they were blind in trying to navigate. No one was ever prepared for a demotion into the limited edition status of another’s life when, viewed in the other direction, they’d presumably been branded essential. But it had happened, and Tessa was the only tangible reason not to go too far off an precipice that led to no tomorrow. Pulling at hands smudged with paint instead of cigarette ash in a desperate attempt at capsizing the insurmountable detritus of past imprints drifting throughout his system. Taking the brunt of all frustration, tremor, and every emotion banned from expression. Aggressively sidelining the only language he wanted to feel, touch, and listen to. Relearning a different one. Everything that had been absentminded and easy now requiring vigilance and humorless behavior. Yet as exhausting as all her short tempered glares and cavilling was, it had also been her strict accountability and interception between him and acts of stupidity that kept him together.5. She was a person to whom his surrendering murmur of ‘I love you’ often had the bitter aftertaste of something over-steeped. His palliative precursor, a promising commitment not to be cowardly, invitingly interchangeable with other prosperous phrases of three: I am here. I am staying. We are family. The woman who’d engaged in an unrequested initiative, yanking the dusty rug out from beneath their at-risk stale situation and pulling them into dazzling sunlight. He couldn’t have said no if he’d wanted to. He was prepared to try — faking it until it was true — just as he shouldered everything else. Maybe saying yes to Tessa, and in turn something that scared him, had been the gateway drug.6. There were many shouldn’t-ridden clauses, both spoken and not, between the two of them. Tessa and Thomas. One of the very first in-depth conversations they’d had ended with a shouldn’t. The first time he hadn’t felt the need to crack a prolonged, tensely held, silence with something deprecating. Instead, tentatively entering the humid air, a plea and a concern all in one: We shouldn’t do this, it’s too soon. Then, only two days later: we shouldn’t stop, I can’t do this alone. And the rest fell into natural order, the reoccurring theme of expectations fallen short: He shouldn’t come home so late. She shouldn’t have to ask twice. We shouldn’t talk about that. The clarity of her voice in his head was almost identical to a certain other someone’s. A different inflection, a different time — but just the same; a damning memory able to be plucked from the recesses of his mind at the most inconvenient of moments. Tessa’s censorious commentary was never far behind. He’d been consumed by it in slowly advancing increments for nearly ten years. In the beginning, a day-to-day routine of merely pretending he was listening to her as he dotingly observed the accompanying figure that she’d arrived with. More recently, her unimpressed narration wove through the fabric of any of the romantic or couple-y things they tried to do. Tom, begrudgingly following her into the overcrowded abyss of whatever public outing she’d pre-arranged, always far too absentminded, staying alert for all the wrong reasons. Looking down to check on even the slightest vibration of his phone — a problem? A meeting? A respite? — whilst completely avoiding having to provide any input on Tessa’s newly favorite subject ( it rhymed with bedding ). Their verbal tennis matches, a ceaseless tit-for-tat game of passive aggression, could run steady laps around everything else they did. It was almost an entity of it’s own. There was Tom, there was Tessa, and there was that low pressure that hung in the atmosphere whenever they entered into the same room as if someone had made tasteless a joke at a funeral. The one beam of hope through it all was the fact that, admitted to or not, they knew each other too well. Despite what they withheld from one another — even though, if presented the same card drawn during a Rorschach Test she’d see the shape of a book where he’d see a pint of beer — they could never return to being strangers. Getting to know her had been a muffled process, a slowly sinking feeling. The diluting of a strongly flavored concentrate with hot water. Three parts scathing to one part cordial. Mild enough to eventually be widely palatable as opposed to the too-potent original double dose; the sort of thing that appealed to rush-seeking junkies and hyperactive children and those who fell somewhere in between.