#I'm SORRY I drank too much coffee and I miss him so much

[zaota]

true relationship goals is when I'm writing extremely explicit and especially kinky sex scenes for my ocs and fanfics with a straight face while he sits next to me and reads over my shoulder to take notes.

[satorusugurugurl]

JJK Men: Seeing You Without Makeup For the First Time

Warning: Fluffy sweetness, insecurities, suggestiveness, language

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Choso Kamo, Modern!Ryomen Sukuna, Nanami Kento

Word Count: 2,993

A/N: Ah yes, I love this trope. It was fun to write!! Please Enjoy, don't blame me from any cavities from this sweet fluff. Request Open.

Gojo Satoru:

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was the only thing keeping your eyes open. You grumbled and cursed the sun for rising another day as you leaned over the kitchen counter, watching the magic bean juice filling your cup. The higher-ups must not like you because the mission they just sent you on was hell.

A week, a damn week, you were gone. A week from your bed, students, and your boyfriend. Stupid old men and their dumb missions. But who were you to complain if you paid your bills and you were able to teach the next generation of sorcerers? So life wasn't that bad.

Then again, your somewhat happy outlook on life might be the sleep deprivation talking.

The bastards were sweet enough to give you one day to recuperate. There was no time to relax, though. You had laundry to sort through, groceries to pick up, and the normal mundane things you'd missed out on during the WEEK you were gone!

A day off was a day off despite it being a busy one. You would get it all done after you drank this coffee Satoru got you from Mexico on his last mission. As soon as you downed it, you would off. You were already dressed to go. You had on sweats and a t-shirt, and you opted out of putting on any makeup, seeing that you would just be running around.

Your phone chimed as Satoru’s name popped up on your screen. You smiled as you opened the chat.

Satoru: Good morning, beautiful! 😙 Welcome back! I had breakfast delivered to you; enjoy! 🍳🥓🧇

“Oh, he's getting laid later.” You squealed, running for the door to your apartment.

You flung it open, staring at the ground, expecting a bag, but instead, you were greeted by shoes. Designer shoes that you knew all too well. Slowly trailing up dark uniform pants and jacket that was from the same school you worked at. Further up, you caught sight of a wide grin, a blindfold, and fluffy white hair. All of which belongs to your boyfriend, who was holding a takeout bag.

“Special delivery for Y/L/N Y/N!”

Your boyfriend was here. The same boyfriend who was utterly gorgeous no matter what condition he was in. The man could be caked in blood, and you still wanted to kiss him. Then there was you; you always put in the effort to look nice around him, hair styled, cute outfit, some form of makeup always on.

Today was not one of those days.

In a panic, you squeaked, slamming the door in his face. “What the fuck?! What the actual fuck!?” You glanced around for anything you could use to hide your appearance. You panicked and grabbed the first thing off the couch.

“Uhm, babe?” Satoru questioned, opening the door. “I know you were gone for a week. But I'm Gojo Satoru, your boyfriend.”

“I know!! Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you!” you had your back turned to him, covering your face with your hands. “T-Thanks for the food! But I have so much to do!”

“Really?”

“Yep! Laundry!”

“I had Ijichi pick it up this morning.”

Fuuuuck.

“O-Okay! I have to get groceries!”

“Your fridge is fully stocked, courtesy of yours truly.”

The room felt like it was shrinking in on you as you listened to him come up behind you. The bag was discarded as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. You weren't sure how he would react, seeing your bare face, and that was terrifying.

So many men thought women wearing makeup was like lying. You had always done very light and minimal makeup, but it didn't make it less scary. Sensing the tension, Satoru gently turned you around so you were facing him. He stiffened, his mouth turning from a grin to a shocked expression.

“Y/N?” His voice was so quiet.

“Y-Yeah?”

A choked laugh erupted from his throat. “I-Is that one of my blindfolded?!” He called as you stated at the darkness his blindfold provided. “Oh my god, hold on! Hold on!” You could feel him near you with the camera on his phone clicking. “Oh my god, wait until the second years see this!” Fingers hooked under the blindfold, yanking it up and off your head.

Your hands flew up, hiding your face. Your attempt was foiled as Satoru's gentle hands pulled them away. With a shuddering sigh, you looked up at him, biting your cheek as he fully saw you. For you, no makeup, fancy clothes, or styled hair.

Satoru just smiled, leaning down before he kissed your lips gently. “Welcome home.” He pulled back, tilting his head to the side. “What was with the off-brand cosplay?” Your cheeks are flushed, the darker pigment visible without any trace of makeup.

“I-I don't have any makeup on.”

“Oh!” He straightened, his large hand patting your head. “You're so cute.”

His grin grew wider at the confused expression inching its way over your face. “Seriously? Do you think that? Even without the makeup and the baggy clothes? You still think I'm cute?” Satoru’s head bobbed up and down so fast you thought his head would fall out. His sincere reaction made you giggle, shaking your head. “Satoru, you are so strange. But also extremely sweet.” When you looked up, you blinked, seeing Gojo holding up one side of his blindfold. His bright blue eye looked you over, inching over every curve and surface of you. “Satoru, stop staring.”

“I just was confirming something.” he snapped his blindfold back into place before draping an arm over you.

You poured yourself a cup of coffee while Satoru pulled your breakfast out of the bag. “Confirming what?”

“Just confirming with Six-Eyes that I have the prettiest girlfriend in the entire world.”

Gojo’s smile slowly faded as you slammed the coffee pot down. Oh fuck, what did he say?! You led around; fire swarmed in Y/E/C eyes as you stormed over to him, grabbing his wrist.

“W-What?! What did I say?” He huffed out a gasp as you shoved him onto the couch.

“Everything.”

You unzipped his pants, and Gojo’s eyes were wide behind his blindfold. Even with Six-Eyes, Gojo did not see this coming. Spoiler alert: It was him, he was going to cum.

Choso Kamo:

A knock at your door had you straightening from your spot on the couch. Looking at your phone, you quickly got up. It was well past midnight, and it was never a good sign when someone knocked that late at night on the door.

Much to your relief, when you opened the door to your apartment, your boyfriend looked down at you. “Choso?” a sigh of relief escaped your lips.

“I'm sorry. Did I wake you?” he asked before entering your apartment.

“No, I think you just saved me a stiff neck.” You yawned out before locking the door. “Did you and Yuuji finish up with that mission?”

“Yes, he went back home; I wanted to see you.”

Choso watched as you moved around the apartment. You straightened up the pillows on the couch and wiped down your kitchen before grabbing his hand and leading him to the bedroom. The entire time you went about your mundane tasks, Choso just stared. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different about you.

Choso’s eyes moved over you. Trying to depict what was different tonight. Haircut? No. New pajamas? No, that wasn't it, either. Everything Choso tried to think of wasn't the right answer. Not knowing what it was frustrated him to the point that Choso’s eyebrow twitched.

What had you glowing in the lowlights of your bedroom as you pulled the sheets back? “Cho?” You finally asked with a nervous chuckle. “Are you okay? You're staring holes through me.” Realizing that he had been caught, Choso flinched.

“I'm sorry, sorry I just—” Words trailed off as his cheeks flushed.

You had noticed Choso staring at you since he came inside. The poor guy never saw you without makeup, which was probably strange. He seemed to be struggling, trying to find the words to the mountain of questions he might have.

“It's okay. I think I know what you're going to ask.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, you’re going to ask what’s different.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I look different because I’m not wearing makeup.”

Choso tilted his head to the side.”Oh, no, I was going to say you look radiant tonight.” The words that left his mouth had both of you standing in silence.

You just eyed Choso as he smiled, nodding his head like he'd figured out the mystery of what was different. Pleased with his conclusion, he helped you pull the sheets back. His hands smoothed out the covers before he peered up at you. You were blushing, smiling ear to ear as you finished pulling the bed back.

“I just finished doing my skincare routine,” you announced as you crawled into bed after Choso showered. “I have a new serum that is supposed to make you look luminescent.”

Choso studied you carefully as he crawled into bed with you. “Mmm, maybe that’s it.” He pulled you into his arms. “Or maybe it’s just me.” Choso hummed, staring into the face that he loved so much. “Falling in love.” Love?! “Yeah, I think that’s exactly what this is.”

That was the reasoning behind your radiant glow. A glow that always surrounded you no matter what you wore or looked like. Choso saw utter perfection in you. So it only made sense that the reason you looked extra stunning was that he had fallen in love with you even more.

You just snuggled closer into his chest, grinning wide as he yawned. “I love you too, Cho.”

Ryomen Sukuna:

Ten minutes. All it took was ten minutes before chaos erupted in Sukuna’s apartment. He had just finished changing when he heard the commotion. Yuuji and Choso were bickering before you gently tried to break up the argument. The next thing he heard was a scream, your scream, to be exact.

He bolted, running into the kitchen, where he found you wiping at your face. “What the fuck?!” His younger brothers both stood in shock, watching you in fear. Yuuji was holding a box of baking soda, and Choso held a bottle of vinegar.

In the center of the kitchen was the volcano experiment you had been helping Yuuji make. Sukuna was able to put it all together in an instant. He didn't bother yelling. He instead lifted you into his arms, carrying you to the bathroom.

“What the hell happened?” You flinched when you felt a warm, wet rag gently cleaning your face off.

“The boys wanted to see how big of an explosion they could make. But you know the boys, they both were arguing about who should do what. Words were said, contents were thrown into a beaker, and I didn't have my safety goggles on.”

Sukuna sighed, continuing to rub off the mess on your face. “You're not hurt, are you?”

“Nope!” Your confident response had your boyfriend chuckling as he wiped more of the foamy goop off your face.

After about five minutes of wiping and rinsing the rag, Sukuna sat on the tub's edge, examining your face. It was without the small amount of makeup you had on and the lighting of the bathroom that he stared at you. You were stunning, gorgeous in everything. But here in the bathroom, his eyes mapped out your face.

“What happened here?” he asked, fingertips pressing against a small scar under your eye.

Thinking it was food coloring, you turned to the mirror, seeing your bare face. “EH?!” You touched it, groaning as you looked back at your boyfriend, who was smirking. “You wiped off all my makeup!” For a second, Sukuna thought he was dealing with a third child in his apartment.

“Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to have vinegar on your face?” You shook your head. “That's what I thought. So confess what happened there?”

“Acne scar.”

A soft him rumbled in his chest before he learned over, thumb grazing over a tiny scar at the bottom of your lip. “This?” gentle fingers moved up, brushing over your bottom lip as he stepped closer towards you.

“I-I fell off my bike.”

You swallowed hard, whimpering as Sukuna’s fingers grazed over your face. You were feeling how soft your delicate skin was. All of you mesmerized him. Every time you came over, he learned a little more about you. And god, he fuckin’ loved that.

His hands gently mapped your face out. The softness had you breathing heavily, his eyes glued to your lips. Having your boyfriend gaze over you with such a soft yet burning gaze had you shifting. The air in the bathroom became thick with need as he slowly slipped your tank top sleeve down.

“Y/N, let me see all of you. I want to map out your body and learn everything it has to say.”

“W-What’s gotten into you?”

The whisper tone of your voice had Sukuna sliding the other sleeve of your tank top down. “You. You’ve crept your way into my heart.” The confession that spilled from his lips has you leaning in, wanting him to touch you everywhere. The same way he had touched your face.

“Hey, is she okay?” Choso’s timid voice whispered through the door. “Yuuji’s worried.”

“Take Yuuji out for ice cream.” Your tank top is slowly pulled over your head. “My card is on my dresser.”

Silence spreads out as you tug Sukuna’s shirt up and off. “R-Really?” hands began working on jeans.

“Yes, I have my own project to work on.” Sukuna turned the shower on, and he never heard Choso collecting Yuuji so fast. Refusing to answer any questions as the door to the apartment slammed shut.

Sukuna’s antics had you giggling, licking your lip, and he stripped you completely. “A project, huh?” he nodded, following you into the shower.

“Yeah, but it won't be vinegar foam that covers that pretty face this time.”

Nanami Kento:

The hotel sheets were cold and crisp over your and your boyfriend's bodies. Between the chill and the heat Nanami was putting out, you felt so comfortable. It was the perfect combination that made you want to relish the feeling forever.

The sun was up, which meant you both would be going home soon. You both had been called out on a mission, one that took a bit longer to handle than you both were anticipating. You missed the last train back to Tokyo. Leaving you both stranded in Kawasaki for the night.

Instead of having one of the assistant supervisors drive all the way out to get you, you and Nanami decided to stay at a hotel. God, it was nice: room service, wine, a hot shower. Missing that last train was a reward for the two of you. Nothing more than relaxation and joy. But the moment Nanami pulled you tighter against him, you realized you didn't have your overnight bag.

Meaning you didn't have your makeup.

“Oh no, oh god no.” You whined as Nanami lifted his head.

“What’s wrong?” His groggy voice asked, trying to assess what was going on.

Burying your face in your pillow, you grumbled, cringing as you felt Nanami shift beside you. “I don't have my bag.” The covers move as Nanami props himself up.

“Your overnight bag?”

���Mhmm.”

Silence stretched out. “Did you need something out of it? Aspirin or tampons? I'll go grab you some.” The sincerity of his words made your heart soar. God, Nanami was the best boyfriend.

“No, no, I'm okay.” You shyly turned, swallowing hard. “I just realized you've never seen me without makeup.”

Nanami’s gaze was soft; honey-brown eyes slowly roamed over your face. He took his time, his hand reaching out, knuckles grazing your cheek. It was so gentle and sweet that you pressed yourself against his hand. The warmth spreads to every part of your body.

The bed shifts as Nanami’s hand cups your cheek, pulling you closer. “You are still as stunning in the morning bare-faced as you are all dolled up.” Before you could even think of what to say in response, his lips were on yours.

His lips were warm, like a spring day. You moaned happily, kissing him back as his hands slowly ran down your arms. Breaking the kiss, had you pouting with a displeased groan that shifted into a moan. Those warm lips slowly moved down your face. Nanami was trailing the softest, warmest kisses down your body, over your shoulders and upper arm.

“I want to see all of you.” Hot breath whispered over your skin. “See every part of you, body, mind, and soul in the raw.”

Soft kisses were replaced with gentle nips. The sensation had you arching your back as Nana crawled on top of you. His morning wood was pressing against your hip. It felt like you were melting into the mattress as the once-comfortable room suddenly became too warm. The need to get naked grew stronger and stronger.

“Kento~”

He didn't respond. He was too busy being love-drunk off of you. His fingers, lips, and teeth slowly mapped out every part of your body. Nanami’s actions left you a squirming mess underneath him. One that he was so pleased to see and feel.

Only once you were gasping for air, gripping his shirt, begging him for more, did Nanami finally pull back, taking his shirt off. “Every inch of you is the most beautiful thing that's graced this world, Y/N.” You sat up, pulling him into a starved kiss as he took your shorts off. Limbs entangling as he gently laid you down.

And yes, you missed the morning train. . .and the afternoon train. . .poor Ijichi had to pick you up.

[arminsumi]

hellooo to you, i’d like a suguru pls, post premature death suguru meeting a ‘monkey’ that he falls in love with, hence he have another reflection.. maybe jujutsu sorcerers’ job is indeed to protect them..

CHANGE OF HEART.

𝐆. 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 — 夏油傑 ⋅ fem reader

NOTE: idk how 3.4k words happened 🤷‍♀️ i just got rlly into this idea ty for your requesttt!! and i'm so sorry if u didn't want smut but the scene kinda just happened 😭 it's pretty vanilla tho i think?? i put a little forewarning before the scene just in case u strictly don't want to read it

🔞 mdni / 18+ content

SUMMARY — Meeting you challenges the beliefs he thought he was so sure of. Unexpectedly falling in love with a 'monkey' causes Geto Suguru to have a change of heart.

WARNINGS — not proofread 😵‍💫 angst, 1 smut scene, lmk if i have missed a warning thank u

SMUT WARNINGS — solo scene in the shower, Geto fantasizing about you (bj, creampies)

WORDCOUNT ≈ 3.4k

PLAY ME ♪ black beauty

🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

A question that springs to Geto Suguru’s mind when he meets you is where have you been all my life? Because if he would have met you sooner, his beliefs wouldn’t have solidified.

You’re talking animatedly about your passions over a steaming beverage, sitting opposite this dark-haired man. His features are brooding and he’s rather unapproachable, or so he thinks – but you find gentleness and calmness in his face; the way his brows have a subtle, sad arch to them, the way the sharpness of his eyes contrasts beautifully to the softness of his cheeks. He’s always loathed his beady eyes and babyish cheeks, so it’s a pleasant shock to hear you flippantly compliment them.

“Why did you come to sit with me?” he asks curiously, fingertip caressing the rim of the ceramic coffee cup.

You think for a second, then speak your mind, “You looked approachable.”

Such an unexpected response. He’s intrigued. How could you possibly think he is approachable? He’s sure that if you’d known what he’s done, you’d never say that – you’d never sit for coffee with him at this cafe.

“Am I?” he tilts his head at you in response, “That’s a first. Lots of people in my life have told me that I’m unapproachable. And they avoid me.”

“How could anyone avoid you! You’re very – well, sorry if this sounds too forward – but you’re very alluring.”

Suguru arches his brow. Another unexpected response. You’re captivating him the more you speak.

“Thank you.” He responds earnestly, cool soft voice wafting through your chest, “Though that is quite forward.”

He wonders if his subtle teasing tone gets through to you. Your coy smile tells him that it did. He seems very captivated now, his abyssal black eyes are absorbing your features like they’re an artful masterpiece, like an Edo period piece of work that one can’t stop looking at admiringly.

Just when he feels his intrigue and curiosity for you reach its peak, he recoils; he completely shells himself, as if he was ashamed to have let himself become to enraptured by one of them.

There’s a long silence, you don’t notice that his opinion of you has shifted, you don’t even notice the slight scowl tugging at the corners of his lips. Because he masks it well.

“I have to be somewhere.” He excuses vaguely – it’s not uncommon to hear that from someone, so you don’t think much of it.

When talking with you for the past two hours, he seemed so appreciative that you sat with him and held good conversation, so you expected someone as direct as him to voice his thanks. A small thanks for having coffee with me, or a flippant thanks for sitting with me – nothing of the sort comes out of his mouth as he stands to leave.

You notice he only drank a sip of his black coffee this whole time. He must have been very captivated indeed, to not even enjoy his beverage.

It would have been easier to keep thoughts of you at bay had you not said goodbye to him as he left. Hearing your voice chime in his ear casts a spell over his mind.

He walks with his hands sunk deep in his pockets and heads to the subway station. Hesitant footsteps slow at the street where he said his last goodbye to his best friend just a few days ago. For a fleeting moment, Suguru is grateful for the resurgence of that tragic memory, because at least it drove you out of his mind.

But it is indeed just a fleeting moment, because once he descends into the subway station, his mind is refilled with thoughts of you. Your hair color. Your skin color. Your eye color. The clothes you wore. The scent lingering on them. The way you talked. How you spoke to him kindlier than anyone from the world outside Jujutsu High ever has. All he’s known before you is coldness and apprehensiveness.

He wonders, as he boards the train, if you would behave differently knowing that he’s a sorcerer. Knowing that he sees things as morbid as curses with his bare eyes. Knowing that he’s laid waste to a village of people. Knowing that he’s one of the strongest people in the world, and probably the strongest you’ll ever meet in your lifetime – unless you happen to come across Gojo Satoru someday.

He could kill you with a flick of his wrist if he wanted to.

As the train doors shudder shut behind him and he holds onto the dangling handles, he mutters a small “damn it…” under his breath. Because behind those eyes are waning beliefs, ones he was so sure about before you came along.

Suguru’s still thinking about you when he boards off the train and returns home to his apartment at nightfall. The rustling of the key in the door stirs the attention of his two little girls, and once it swings open, they burst with excitement at his arrival.

“We missed you!” they say almost in perfect harmony together.

“Missed you too, angels. Let’s get dinner cooking, hm? Mimiko, why do you have paint all over your cheeks? Ah – Nanako, no more painting for you. Yes, I’m making the rules. Treat your sister nicely and you can paint again.”

Suguru’s mind is temporarily cleared of you – but only temporarily, while he’s scrambling for ingredients around the tiny kitchen and patiently listening to childish chitchat. “No jumping in the kitchen – here, I’ll put you on the countertop – and uppp you go – stay there – Nanako, please don’t eat raw butter, it’s not funny. Give it here. Will you help me please?”

Soon there’s a simmering pot of food on the kotatsu table. There’s a storm coming, the girls cling to Suguru’s legs when he’s doing the dishes. “It’s just a thunderstorm coming, nothing to be afraid of, okay? Yes, I’ll read you to sleep. Nanako, please don’t bite my leg, it’s not funny – Mimiko don’t imitate your sister. Ah you two…”

He has the voice of a stressed-out father.

Droplets of soapy water drip off plates in the drying rack. Thunder rumbles outside the window. The wind swerving into the apartment’s living room feels cold when Suguru emerges from the girl’s bedroom – he heaves a sigh of relief knowing that they ate well and fell asleep soundly.

And it’s so cold in that apartment now.

She would be the warmth in the room.

It’s quiet, too.

Her voice would carry through this hallway like a serenade.

Suguru creeps into the shower, tripping on something the kids left laying around on his way to the bathroom.

⚠️ smut scene in case u want to skip

The drone of shower water fills his ears, he slowly peels off his sweater, giving a glance at the reflection of his physique in the body-length mirror. He’s never looked at his body with so much thought before.

Would she caress my chest like this?

One foot enters the shower, another followers. The door shuts and the glass steams up.

Does her mouth feel as soft as the words that come out of it?

He lets out a low groan. Rivulets of water run down his body.

She’d feel better than my hand. She’d take care of me.

Suguru’s hands trace up his chest and neck, his mind imagining it as your hand – he’s mimicking his imagination, picturing how sensual and gentle your touch would be. Your fingers wouldn’t be calloused like his, they’re small.

He lets himself get completely lost in a fantasy of you and him standing together under the showerhead, bodies close and heating up together. Without realizing, he’s lathering up his body with soap with slow, sensual movements. His hand grazes over his cock, it’s standing up and jumping a little at the thought of your face. Before he knows it, he’s slowly pumping his cock and tilting his head off to the side in pleasure.

Pretty sultry eyes flutter shut and his tip twitches. He squeezes and releases, imagining how you’d tease around. Or maybe you were inexperienced – now that thought gets him excited, it leads his fantasy into another direction. If he could have one night with you, he’d show you exactly what he likes and how he wants you to pleasure him. Maybe one night would turn into multiple nights, or entire weekends spent with him.

He lets out a shaky breath and presses on palm flat against the shower’s tile wall, bowing his head, lips parted with gentle, breathy moans escaping them – but both the sounds of the rainstorm and the shower drown them out.

A murky idea of what you look like naked and wet in the shower is hot on his mind. He rolls his thumb over the tip of his cock, leaving a small trail of soapy bubbles. His shaft’s gotten all lathered up, the sound of squelching barely reaching his ears. It makes him think of how you’d sound when he’s pumping his cock inside of you.

Would you be able to take it all? He looks down at it and contemplates that. How tight would you be? Would he cum boyishly soon if he sunk inside your gummy walls? If he went faster like this, would you become a mess underneath him? Would you want him to cum inside?

He’s a simple man when he’s so close to orgasming right there in his shower, the image of you taking his creampie makes him orgasm.

There’s a gentle rumble of thunder that covers up a loud moan that escapes his throat. He’s never moaned like that before. And he’s never cum so hard before, either – usually it’s a few watery shots of cum, not thick white ropes like this.

Does he feel guilty when cleaning his cum up the shower wall? A little bit.

“Damn it…” he mutters disappointedly.

⚠️ smut scene over

When he wraps a towel around his waist and looks into the mirror at his long hair, he wonders how you ever thought he looked approachable. If anything, he looked intimidating and cold.

That long shower fantasy of you only temporarily sates his mind. Letting his body fall into his bed with a soft thump, he sinks into the mattress. He rolled onto his side and started thinking of you again. This time, he replays everything that happened in those two hours at the café. He replays parts of the conversation like it was his favorite movie, until he fell asleep.

“You’re very alluring.” He thought of those words you said to him.

A subtle smile tugged at his lips.

***

Days pass. Suguru purposefully strides past the café and takes a glimpse into the windows to check if you’re there. When you’re not, he frowns and keeps walking. When you are, his eyes light up ever so slightly and his feet seem to carry him over to you – even though his mind screams at him to stop. This is madness. You’re supposed to be the very thing he hates, but he can’t bring himself to.

Because you’re dreamy. Or at least that’s the effect you have on him.

Each time he sees you at the café, he realizes more and more how weak and clumsy you are. Slowly, those traits become endearing to him. It irks him to feel this growing compulsion to protect you.

The tide of his mind completely turns over when he walks you home one day. A little curse had been clinging to your arm, cruelly giggling with its morbid little face.

How dare you? He eyes it out and watches you obliviously massage your arm, trying to alleviate the tension.

Suguru could have made two possible decisions; exorcise it or leave it. In other words, turn back on his beliefs or recede back into them completely, never to reemerge.

You massage your arm again, and at the moment you turn away from your apartment’s door, Suguru engulfs you in a very random, very soft hug. Widening your eyes, you’re unsure how to reciprocate for a moment. You hear him swallow.

Oh, is he nervous to be hugging me? Does he have a boyish crush on me? That’s unexpected of a mature man like him.

That’s what you’re obliviously thinking.

Suguru stifles a sigh. Part of him wishes you never hugged him back. But he can’t deny the rush he feels through his veins. Your warm, embrace is something he never knew he needed so badly until he got it.

That moment sets him on fire, he feels electric when he walks back home.

“Damn it…” he mutters with a small smirk playing at his lips – one that’s very similar to how he used to smirk with Satoru.

***

Months pass, and you start regularly visiting each other’s apartments. Tokyo is cramped, the word spacious never crosses your mind when you walk into someone else’s home. But Suguru’s apartment felt smaller than the others, because he had two balls of energy running around like chaotic demons. Lovably chaotic demons. Two twin girls, they’re celebrating their fifth birthday and you’re in the kitchen with Suguru baking a cake for them. It was your idea. And though you had to practically drag Suguru by the arm to get him to bake a cake, he was very willing to help out.

Nanako keeps trying to spook you, and you pretend to die of a heart attack – it makes her giggle. Mimiko pretends to be a spider crawling up your back, you also pretend to be scared – and she responds with a cheeky “I’m not actually a spider, I fooled you!”

“Girls, please give Y/n and I some alone time.” Suguru tells them after they become a bit much. Adults can only deal with so much, some relaxation is eagerly sought after.

“Is Y/n gonna be our mommy?” Nanako asks before leaving the kitchen. Her and Mimiko both look at you two expectantly.

Suguru is completely caught off guard by this question, but you laugh.

“Let us be, Nanako.” He speaks without composure, so shaken up and embarrassed. When was the last time he blushed to boyishly?

The twins scamper out the kitchen and into their own little kid’s world, roaming the house as if it was full of secrets they had to discover.

“Sorry, they’re quite outspoken for their ages.” Suguru refuses to look at you anymore, his heart is thumping in his chest. What if you wanted to be their mom? It’s a cute thought that occupies his mind as he talks to you.

“They’re the sweetest.” You sigh adoringly, “Really, the sweetest. It reminds me, had a friend once who ran a kindergarten, and I stood in for her one spring while she was on sick leave. There was this very sweet little boy who followed me around like a puppy. Working there for a little while made me realize how much I want to have kids and a family.” You talk while mixing ingredients into a bowl, stirring up the batter until it’s creamy and smooth.

Suguru’s listening attentively. He’s watching your gentle movements interestedly. Were you gentler in his presence? He wonders what you’re like when you’re annoyed. When you wake up, how cute is your bleary-eyed face?

“You’re good with kids.” Suguru compliments.

“Thank you.” You smile a bit bashfully. “Though, now that I think about it, there was also this kid at that kindergarten that would try to bite me all the time. An absolute menace.”

Suguru lets out a laughing breath through his nose.

“Yeah, Nanako has tried to bite Mimiko many times. The first time it happened, she screamed herself blue and I had absolutely no idea what to do.” Suguru spoke, “By the way, d’you need help – ? M’kay, if you say so. I’m right here. Anyways… she bit her so hard it left a bite mark.”

“Oh yeah, I know what you’re talking about, alright. That sucker left a bite mark on my thigh – I’ve still got the scar.” You tell him.

Suguru’s mind lights up when you so flippantly mention your thigh. He can’t help himself. He’s starting to want more, his whole body craves proximity – that’s why, while you put the cake in the oven, he discretely inches closer to where you stand. Arms crossed over his broad chest, hair up in a neat bun – he only realized just then how you have such a positive effect on him. He hadn’t put such deep care into his appearance since before…

“Suguru? Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. Just thinking.”

“You must have a lot to be thinking about. Your face looks so severe… I want to knead out the severity.” You tease.

He loves the way you speak. He loves the subtle playful teasing you do every now and then, it shows him that you’re getting comfortable around him like he is around you.

“Sorry. I’m just a brooding type.” He smirks at you, shifting his body so that he leans comfortably against the counter.

“What are you brooding on?” you ask him curiously.

It makes his heart lurch that you care, that you’re genuinely curious about what’s going on behind those abyssal black eyes of his.

“I don’t want to bring down the mood.”

“You won’t bring down the mood. What’s on your mind? I’m not the best at advice… in fact I’m shit, but I’m a good listener… so indulge me.” You encourage him, attempting to hop up on the kitchen countertop to sit comfortably.

His heart feels stabbed and twisted all of a sudden. But he smirks, sees you struggling to climb a countertop, and comes to help you. Big hands grab at the back of your thighs as he leans down, cheek brushing with your cheek for a moment, before he hoists you up himself.

“Thank you.” You smile at him, veiling your nervousness.

His body feels hotter after he pulls away. But he acts coolly, resuming his nonchalant pose of leaning against the countertop with crossed arms.

“I fell out with an old friend.” He begins simply. It’s laughable, saying that out loud – you have no idea of the severity, of the drama. “We were like yin and yang.” He desperately tries to add a layer of depth to give you a better picture.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” you inquire.

Suguru thinks back on that day. “Yeah. We had a disagreement. And… I think… I’ve finally started to regret walking away from him.” He admits.

That admittance unexpectedly makes his throat constrict and his eyes line with tears. He blinks them away quickly.

“Why did you walk away?” you tilt your head.

I wonder what she’d think if I told her every detail.

“We have differing beliefs about… something. I can’t describe it sensibly to you.”

You look at him interestedly. “Beliefs? Like about religion?”

“I guess kind of like that…? Not religion, but something as serious as that.”

“If you regret walking away from him,” you begin, speaking your train of thought, “why don’t you come back to him and tell him that? Or would that be a bad idea? I don’t know… it just seems like you miss whoever this person is.”

You render him speechless and he looks at you like you just unravelled a secret part of him that no one had seen before.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – ”

“Thank you. I needed to hear that. I think I’ll… uh, give him a call sometime and see him for coffee.” Suguru says decidedly.

Was he really going to do that? Before meeting you, he couldn’t fathom facing Satoru again. It was a mortifying idea. He crushed his best friend’s spirit, how could he face him again?

“Sounds good… you could meet him at the café we go to.” You say.

Suguru’s half lost in thought and staring at the kitchen floor tiles. “Yeah… hey, can I ask you a personal question?”

“Absolutely.”

He chokes up a bit, darting his eyes around, as if searching carefully for his words. When he looks at you, he completely forgets what he was going to ask. His heart is beating like he was just about to confess to his high school sweetheart.

Suguru takes a deep inhale.

“I think the cake is burning.”

“Oh shit!”

***

Satoru scoffs bitterly over his beverage.

“I’m serious, Satoru.”

A pair of striking blue eyes meet abyssal black ones.

“What changed your mind...?” Satoru comments in a softer tone after hearing his old friend call his name so tenderly.

“Something good happened.” Suguru subtly smiles, the memory of meeting you in this same café flashing across his mind.

A silence comes over them, and slowly the tension works out of their air, an understanding replacing it.

“Maybe we are supposed to protect them, after all… damn monkeys, look at ‘em so helpless.” Suguru chuckles, half-joking as he watches a baby start to cry in its mothers arms on the street outside.

© 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄.

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 16

Part 16:

Patrick heard Liana vomiting faintly and it made him jump out of bed. "Li, is everything okay?" he asked from outside the bathroom. "Everything's great, go back to sleep," she stammered, and he sighed. He went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, entered the bathroom, and saw her sitting on the floor, holding her hair with one hand and gripping the edge of the toilet with the other, trying to steady herself.

"Hey, baby, it's okay. I got you," he mumbled, placing the glass on the sink and sitting down next to Liana, holding her hair in place and tracing gentle shapes on her shoulder. She was shaking from the effort as her free hand also moved to hold onto the toilet.

"Sorry I woke you," she mumbled after a few minutes, not moving her head out of fear of vomiting again. "Don't be silly, is it something you ate?" he asked. His eyebrows furrowed as he handed her the water. "There was only regular milk at work, I probably drank one cup of coffee too many yesterday," she mumbled, and as soon as she finished speaking, she vomited again, and they found themselves in the same position.

"Come on," after a few minutes of this, he helped her get up from the floor. Patrick spread toothpaste on her toothbrush and put it in her mouth, starting to move it side to side. Liana could cry. She felt the tears gathering at the back of her eyes, in moments like these she remembers how gentle and sensitive Patrick can be. If he only wants to, if he cares enough.

He stood in the bathroom while she showered and didn't take his eyes off her, not in a sexual way but out of genuine concern. Because at the end of the day, Patrick loves her, even if sometimes he doesn't know how to show it.

"Shall we go back to sleep?" he asked hopefully. "There's no point, I feel better and in half an hour, I would've had to get up anyway," she shrugged as he handed her a towel. "Li, maybe you should stay home today?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. "I'm on a schedule and in a few days, the construction starts, I need to get there to fix some drawings. If I'm lucky, I might be able to leave earlier," she smiled at him. "I don't know..." he tried to protest. Just ten minutes ago, she was shaking in his hands, and now he has to let her get dressed and leave the house. "I'm fine Pat, really. I'll drink tea today, and I'll be okay," she gave him a small kiss on the lips and left the bathroom, concluding the conversation.

"Then there must be a pillar here, otherwise the whole thing will collapse, and we didn't draw it in the sketch." Art heard Liana's voice from afar, like an echo. He automatically found himself walking towards her, because that's why Art came. He didn't really care about the construction schedule; as far as he was concerned, the longer this thing took, the more time he had to come and see her work. An excuse to be close without being creepy.

"Hey," he gave a small wave, keeping his distance from her conversation but letting her know he was there. "Mr. Donaldson," she mumbled, and so did the guy working with her. Art could say that nothing happens in his body when she calls him 'Mr. Donaldson'. That formality in front of people doesn't affect him at all. It doesn't send a little shiver through him. No memories surface, and he certainly doesn't imagine that one day she might be 'Mrs. Donaldson'. He could say all that, but he tries not to lie too much.

"Miss Levy," he returned a toothy smile, and she walked towards him. "Why are you here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Where? On the land I bought?" he was amused. Now that she was closer, he could examine her. He wondered if he would ever get used to the fact that she needed glasses now when she worked. Or the small wrinkle that formed on the side of her mouth from the number of times she smiled and laughed. He wished it was because of him. Too many times he thinks about the number of things he could tell her that would make her laugh enough to deepen that wrinkle.

"You look... green." he mumbled after a few seconds. She was pale, even for her. "It's January, I turn green in January." she retorted. "Liana." he tried a more official tone, a bit more concerned. "I'm fine, Arthur, let it go. Can I ask a favor?" she asked, looking at him with big eyes. Making him raise an eyebrow. There are very few things Liana could ask of him that he wouldn't agree to do. She must know that by now. "Always." he said quicker than his ego was happy to hear. "Can you give me Tashi's number?" she asked and saw his surprised look. "Why? Are you trying to steal my coach for your lazy boyfriend?" he asked, feigning amusement. He didn't understand the endgame of this move. Overall, he didn't understand what Liana had to talk about with Tashi; Liana hates tennis, and from what Art knows, Tashi enjoys talking mostly about tennis. "don't call Patrick lazy, can you give it to me or not?" she didn't answer him. "Will it hurt my interests?" he asked, pulling out his phone. "I would never do that, Art." she sighed, and he sent her the number. There are very few things Art Donaldson wouldn't give to Liana Levy.

Liana waved for a second when she saw Tashi entering the café where they had agreed to meet. She couldn't help but feel tense and wondered how to calm her jittery leg. Why couldn't she just act like a normal person and be more…cool.

"Hey, Liana, what's up? Sorry if I'm late." Tashi was a bit confused. A bit was an understatement. Tashi was very confused. 'Hey, it's Liana, if you have free time, I'd really appreciate it if we could meet' was the message she received yesterday, and that's how she found herself in a café, sitting in front of the girl Art has been trying to fuck without success for God knows how long. Tashi couldn't help but wonder what Art's tennis would look like if he succeeded.

"All good. I'm early." Liana smiled. "Do you want to order something to eat?" she asked, and Tashi waved at the waiter, asking for coffee. Her energy was businesslike. Always in a hurry. Always busy. It didn't matter that she came from the rain. It didn't matter if she was cold or hot. She had no time to waste. "What's up, Liana?" Tashi asked after a few more minutes of awkward silence. "Is this about Art?" she added. "No... Art's not involved." she answered too quickly. Why did she answer so quickly? "So how can I help you?" she asked, taking a sip of the coffee that had just arrived.

"I don't have many friends here." Liana took a deep breath. She knew how it sounded. Desperate and pathetic. But she had no choice. She really didn't know who to talk to. "So... you want me to?" Tashi looked horrified for a moment. Not understanding what situation she had gotten into. "God, no." Liana's eyes widened. "Can you stop with the leg? It's driving me crazy." Tashi said. All the chaotic energy Liana was emitting didn't suit her. It almost threw her off balance.

"I'm pregnant." Liana said quietly right after she took a sip of her tea. She examined Tashi, who looked back at her. "Patrick?" Tashi asked, and Liana looked at her horrified. "Of course it's Patrick's. Whose else?!" she defended herself. "So, congratulations, I guess?" Tashi still didn't understand why she was there. Why her time was being wasted with news about her ex from years ago. If it's not Art's child, if it doesn't become Tashi's problem, why bother filling her brain with this unnecessary information.

"No. I don't want this." Liana said, and Tashi couldn't hide her surprise. "I'm Sorry, what?" she couldn't stop herself. "It was a mistake. I'm on the pill, and I really don't know how it happened. I need to stop this..." Liana mumbled. It wasn't coherent, but Tashi understood every word. "You've been together for years, Liana, I don't understand..." Tashi tried to be more sensitive. "It's just not the right time. We need more stability, and bringing a child into something like this is just not fair." she said, looking at her for a change.

"I would go alone, but I need someone to be listed as an escort," she averted her gaze as she said it. Ashamed of what she was asking from the girl in front of her, a complete stranger in her life, yet the only one she could think of. "Patrick?" Tashi asked quietly. "He doesn't know." Liana's eyes filled with tears. "Please-" she had been thinking about this monologue from the moment she found out, three days ago. "Okay" there was no need. Tashi answered immediately. "Okay, I'll go with you." she smiled the most genuine smile she had to offer.  "Thank you." they both took a sip of their drinks.  The rain outside intensified.

When Liana entered the house, Patrick was in the kitchen, and she quietly leaned on the doorframe, watching him while he wasn't looking. Thinking about what she was going to do tomorrow. Knowing it's for their own good. He wouldn't understand if she told him. He wouldn't understand, and he would want to keep it, and neither of them could raise a child right now. She knows that. She knows he will hate her no matter what she decides tomorrow. If he finds out, he will feel trapped. He will feel like she has ruined his life. Again. Little by little. Each time draining him of the last drop of joy left in him. The last drop of youth.

"Are you just staring now? Not saying hello?" he asked, amused. He had felt her gaze on him for a few minutes. "Hey," she approached him and hugged him from behind. Leaning on his shoulder and closing her eyes. "Hey, Lilo," he was confused. Not understanding the sudden closeness. The last few days had been strange, to say the least. Liana and Patrick hadn't fought even once. She hadn't been feeling well, and he mostly tried not to bother her with his presence. He was afraid of making her feel even worse than she already did, and the more he distanced himself, the closer she got. The more space he gave her, the more she sought touch.

"What are you making?" she asked quietly, not moving an inch, still with her eyes closed. "I'm pretty useless, but I called your mom, and she gave me a recipe for the soup you like," he said quietly. "You called my mom?" she asked in a half-broken voice. "You haven't been well for a few days, Lilo. I wanted to make something that would make you feel good," their gazes met.

Liana started crying, and Patrick panicked. These weren't just tears welling up in her eyes but real crying with her hands on her face. "Hey, hey, Liana. What's going on?" he gently took her hands off her face, revealing how red she had become in those seconds, how sad she was. His hug was comforting. More comforting than anything she had felt recently. "I'm such a bitch. Really," she mumbled. "Lilo, you're the kindest person I know," he chuckled above her head, tracing small shapes on her shoulder while gently rocking her, trying to soothe her in any way he could.

"I really love you. You know that, right?" she pulled away from him for a second and studied him. "Of course, I know," he replied, "I don't understand what's going on, Lil. I need you to talk to me." He was half-lost, not understanding what he did or what she did that led to this situation. "I don't say it enough, but I really love you, Patrick. More than I love most people in the world," she said again, unable to stop the tears. "I know. I really know," he replied, hugging her once more, not letting her slip away from him. "You're okay. Whatever it is, we're okay," he said, and she nodded into him.

Liana also thinks that most of the time, they are okay.

The months that passed were more of the same. Liana worked on Art's house, meeting with him once or twice a week to show him the project's progress. Every time he tried to have a conversation beyond professional matters, Liana cut him off. She owed that to Patrick. She owed it to herself and Patrick to be okay. She couldn't let herself betray him emotionally with someone who, the moment he had a hold on her emotions, her entire system would recalibrate around him again.

The calm dynamic between Liana and Patrick lasted exactly two weeks. Liana was quite sure they didn’t know how to manage without fighting to the point where she wanted to smash a plate against the wall. Sometimes they went to bed without exchanging a single word, and those were the days it was hardest for her to be near him. Those were the days she also canceled meetings with Art because Patrick made her so angry she became indifferent. And indifference leads to mistakes. She knew that. She had seen it up close.

Now, with both Art and Patrick participating in the tournament in Atlanta, Liana found herself ordering coffee and soda at the hotel bar while opening her laptop, hoping to tie up some loose ends before sitting down with Art for a few minutes tomorrow. "Hey, Liana," she heard Tashi’s voice from behind. They hadn’t been in touch since that time, when Tashi went with her. But Liana had a soft spot for the woman in front of her. She used to be so afraid of her once, trembling when exchanging more than a word with her. Today she thought she and Tashi saw each other with flaws and strengths. Sometimes Liana didn’t know what her strengths were, but she always knew Tashi’s.

"Hey," she smiled at her. "Mind if I sit for a bit while I wait for my order for Art and me?" she asked. "Is he sending you to fetch orders now?" Liana raised an eyebrow. It was uncharacteristic. "Actually, no, I saw you from afar and didn’t want his mind to be distracted." Tashi said, and Liana rolled her eyes, wanting to say something. "There’s no way I could distract him right now. Not before I finish working, nothing to talk to him about" she said, and Tashi rolled her eyes and chuckled. Liana wasn’t entirely sure if something was happening between Tashi and Art. It wasn’t her place to ask him, she wasn’t in contact with Tashi, and her parents hadn’t told her anything special as gossip as they usually did about his life. Maybe it was just friendly, and she was purely his coach, but Liana didn’t want to be in the middle of it. She wasn’t going to disrupt Art’s happiness. She was with Patrick. Most of the time, she was happy with Patrick.

"Has he ever shown you his necklace?" Tashi asked. "Excuse me?" Liana was confused. "Art, has he ever shown you his necklace?" she asked again, slower, like speaking to a child. "No, I never asked, and it’s always under his shirt," Liana shrugged as Tashi took her order. "He’s such a pussy," she shook her head from side to side, chuckling. "So dominant on the court and yet, such a coward. Unbelievable. Good to see you, send my regards to Patrick," she smiled and walked toward the exit, not giving Liana a chance to respond.

Art was terrified. He was bored, so he went down to the lobby half an hour before the time he had arranged with Liana. He was so happy he could see her in person and knowing she was also in Atlanta, that he didn’t care the only reason they were meeting was to talk about the house. But now he felt the air leave his lungs. He saw Tashi and Patrick. Holding hands. Like that. In the fucking lobby. And while Tashi didn’t owe anyone anything, Patrick owed Liana. And Art was supposed to be happy because he understood what was happening. It was Patrick. No matter how much time passed, he knew Patrick.

When he returned his gaze to where they had been sitting, after giving someone an autograph, they were gone. His heart was beating faster than usual. He felt like crying. He was supposed to be happy, but all he could think about was Liana’s face and that he was about to be someone who told her something that would make her cry. Again. He swore to himself he'd never make her cry again, but he was about to. And he hated it.

"Donaldson," she smiled at him, causing him to jump in his chair. "How did you get so startled, you were practically looking at me," she rolled her eyes, and he smiled at her. "What’s wrong?" she asked. His smile was fake. Liana hated that she could still tell if his smile was fake. "Nothing, just thoughts about the tournament." he said. "You crushed your competitor today, you’ll be fine." she rolled her eyes. "Mind if I order some wine? It’ll help me sleep." she added. He didn’t know she liked to drink wine. "Of course. I would order some too, but, you know." he replied, somewhat pleased she was allowing herself to relax a bit around him. It took her only a year.

"So, I’ll show you a few things and then let you go." she said, sipping her wine, and he nodded. "Hit me." "Question, while the computer loads." she said, and he looked at her. Liana hated how his green hoodie made the bright blue of his eyes stand out. She had never seen so many shades of blue as when she looked closely at Art Donaldson’s eyes.

"Talk to me." he leaned on his elbow, not taking his eyes off her. A little reveling in the moment. A little afraid to ruin it. A little wanting to ruin it. Because the voice in his head told him he had to tell her. Liana had to know. She deserved to know. Art deserved a chance. He would never do this to her.

"What’s the story with your necklace?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow, quickly running a hand over the back of his neck. "There’s no story." he answered too quickly. He wanted to punch himself for it. "Arthur. Come on, what’s the deal, you didn’t wear a necklace when we were kids. Is it a gift from someone?" she asked. "Are you keeping track of my jewelry, Liana? Be careful, I might think you care about me more than you let on." he knew it would make her change the subject. He wouldn’t tell, but the blush on her cheeks and the big sip she took from her wine only made the conversation better.

"This is the final plan. They started the interior construction two days ago." she showed him a diagram on the computer, moving a bit closer to him. Close enough for her scent to hit him like a slap in the face. He wanted to dive into that closeness. To reach out. To tell her and immediately promise everything would be okay. That he would be there to pick up the pieces. He knew he could.

"I saw Patrick and Tashi earlier." he said quietly, almost in a whisper. Not taking his eyes off her. "Oh, I didn’t know they were in touch..." Liana said, not moving her eyes from the computer. "Liana," he sighed. He hoped she would understand from the previous sentence. That he wouldn’t have to say it. "What?" she looked at him and chuckled, but her smile quickly faded when she saw his expression, "Just say what you have to say, Donaldson." she said with an uncharacteristic coldness.

She knew Art too well. Every time she tried to deny it, she could precisely recognize a look he gave or a joke that no one around understood. She knew how to tell by his walking pace to a construction site if he had a good practice or if he was tired. She knew who he was at his core. And more than anything, she knew how he looked when he was about to break her heart.

"They were holding hands and then disappeared from my sight," he sighed, breathing heavily. He said it in a whisper, almost not wanting to say what had been weighing on him. "Oh." she drank all that was left of her wine in one gulp and signaled the waiter she wanted another glass, returning her gaze to the computer. "I need to finish a few things, and I believe we can wrap everything up in two months. After that, you’ll need to work with an interior designer-" "Liana." Art interrupted her and placed his hand on hers, giving it a slight squeeze. This made her move her hand to her leg.

Without realizing it, tears welled up in her eyes, and the waiter who brought her wine hurried away from the table as fast as he arrived. "Talk to me, please." he was desperate to know what was going through her mind. "It’s okay, it’s whatever," she shrugged and looked at him indifferently, letting one of her tears fall.

"Liana." he sighed. "How is it okay? He’s cheating on you." Art wanted to raise his voice. He wasn’t mad at her. He was mad at Patrick. He was mad at the circumstances. He was mad at himself. "I know what holding hands and disappearing with Tashi Duncan means for someone like Patrick, Art. Contrary to what you think, I’m not stupid." her words were almost venomous, but he knew she wasn’t lashing out at him. He knew he was the closest person right now. He was ready to take it.

"What do you think is happening here?" she asked, taking another big sip of wine. "That I’ll hear about Tashi and Patrick and go up to your room so you can fuck me until I forget all my problems?" she asked, and he almost choked on his own spit. He didn’t expect her to be so blunt. That sentence showed how long she’d been in a relationship with Patrick. He spoke through her.

"No, Liana." he sighed again. Running his hand over the back of his neck once more but this time leaving it there a little longer. "I’m content in my relationship. Shit happens." she finished the second glass in one go and closed the laptop, ready to leave. "Shit happens? How many times has it already happened, Liana?" he couldn’t believe the level of indifference. He wanted to shake her so hard that her brain would reset and go back to the beginning. To reboot her self-respect that had clearly been trampled on more than once.

"Bye Art, good luck tomorrow." she muttered and turned. This time his grip on her hand was firm above the table. She wouldn’t be able to move him. Not now. "You’re making a scene." she whispered. He couldn’t help but think about the power dynamics between them now that she was standing and he was sitting, but he was holding her. She couldn’t move as long as he was holding her. And if it were up to him, he would hold her forever.

"Look. Here." he did the only thing he could think of and pulled the pendant of the necklace over his shirt. Seeing her breath catch for a moment. "Is that...?" She couldn't find the words and automatically moved her free hand over the metal. "Yes." He whispered. His grip loosened, and he let his fingers intertwine with hers over the table without her pulling away. "Why?" She murmured, not stopping her hand from moving over the pendant, her dorm key. The key he refused to return to her time and again. Hanging around his neck. "You know why." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Why?" She asked again. Not letting go. She had to hold on to something, and he knew that if he wanted to give her a moment of peace, even if not for himself—because for himself, he would have chosen another way to tell her, to show her—that all these years, she had been his good luck charm, even from afar. Right now, she was the only one who mattered. Only succeeding in changing the way she looked at herself and what she thought she deserved. "Because I’m yours. I’ve always been only yours."

Oh my god!!! I hope it wasn't too long. I feel like so much has happened in this part, but we are finally in Atlanta. What are you thinking guys? We've got a bit more Tashi on this one. I love hearing from you, so talk to me. Thanks for still reading and commenting. It means the actual world. 

taglist: @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[kpop---scenarios]

Hush, Hush (2) - Final

Pairing: Seonghwa x Reader | Jeongin x Reader | Han x Reader | Minho x Reader

Summary: When you and Seonghwa met, it was almost like love at first sight. But things get hard when he's away, and you get lonely.

Warning: Cheating, Smut (Oral, f. receiving, m. receiving, unprotected sex, protected sex, creampie) Heartbreak, Reader is not a good person

Word Count: 7.5k

Part One

Everything Taglist: @wife2straykidss @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon

@dwaekkiiracha @silly250 @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @satosugu4l

@gabriellamarie

@tsunderelino @iovecb97 @1810cl @lordmaahes-nsc

@sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands

@jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @anskiiz @joyofbebbanburg

@number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr @jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx

@ayyonoona @31maze13 @stay-tiny-things @thegingerthatwaited

@hoesheez

A/N: Second part to @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 commission! I hope you enjoy!

“I missed you so much.” You whisper, snuggling into Seonghwa.

“Baby.” He whispers, stroking your face. “I have to tell you something.”

“Mhm?” You groan, your eyes closed.

“I have to leave again tomorrow.” He whispers. Your eyes shoot open. “What? Why?” You whine.

“They added more dates to the USA tour. We've got 4 shows each in all the cities.” He says. You can see it in his eyes how excited he is and you hoped he couldn't see how heartbroken you were in your eyes. “I'm sorry they extended it but it's going to be so awesome.” He smiles. “Will you come out to one of the shows?” He asks.

“I'm so happy for you. Of course I will.” You force a smile. “But how long are you gone for?” You ask.

“Um.” He pauses. “Roughly… four months. Maybe longer.”

“F-four months?” You stutter, your stomach sinking and your heart breaking. “That's so long.” You chuckle.

“I know baby but we can get through it. We'll make it. After the USA tour we get a few months off. I promise.” He smiles.

“Of course we'll be fine, Hwa.” You grin. “We always are.”

The next morning, you head to The coffee shop near your place, to get coffee for you and Hwa, since he didn't leave until the evening.

"Hello, what can I get for you today?” The lady asks as you're looking at the menu. You begin to step up, but someone else also starts to step up. You look over, and are shocked to see Han Jisung standing beside you, smiling.

“You can go.” He laughs, motioning you to the counter.

“Thank you.” You giggle, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Hi, can I get two iced vanilla lattes?” You say. “And whatever he wants.” You say, pointing to Han.

“You don't have too. But thank you.” He laughs, waving you off.

“I know but I'd like to.” You reply.

Han orders his coffee, thanking you again.

“A name for the order?” The lady asks.

“Uh, Maya.” You smile. You turn to look at Han, extending your hand as your eyes lock with his. “I'm Maya.” You whisper. He takes your hand, shaking it, still staring at you. “Han Jisung.” He replies, a blush spreading across his face. It makes you laugh.

“I know.”

“Two iced lattes for Maya!” The batista yells, breaking you out of your trance with Han. “Is it for your boyfriend?” He asks, also grabbing his coffee.

“My friend.” You smile. “She drank too much last night.”

“Ahh, okay.” He smiles. “Then it would be okay for me to ask for your number?” He asks, pulling out his phone.

“It would be more than okay.” You whisper, taking his phone, putting your name, not your real name but the name you gave him and your number.

“I'll call you.” He says. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“I'll be waiting.” You laugh, heading out the opposite way, back to your boyfriend. You had a hard time saying no. But who could say no to these men?

“Baby, I'm back.” You call out. You look around the apartment for Hwa but he's nowhere. You see a piece of paper on the table. You walk over reading it outloud.

Hi my love,

They moved the flights up, and I couldn't get a hold of you. They wouldn't wait. I'm so sorry. I'll call you when we land. Remember you mean the world to me and I love you so much. We can do this, baby. Jeongin will be free in a few days. He knows to take care of you. Don't miss me too much.

Love, Hwa.

“Motherfucker.” You yell, tossing his coffee into the garbage, and aggressively drinking yours. You throw away your cup, shuffling to your room and plopping down onto your bed. You were just so angry. So angry you could cry. You were supposed to have two weeks but they took that away. Then you were at least supposed to have the day but they took that away too. Were you ever going to have time with your boyfriend?

You spent the rest of that week, ordering food, staying inside, and ignoring any phone calls from anyone. You weren't in the mood to talk to anyone.

You took a big bite from your burger, when there's a pounding at your door. “I'm coming.” You try to snap with your mouth full. You swing the door open, seeing an angry Jeongin standing outside your door.

“The fuck do you think you're doing?” He snaps, stomping into your apartment. “I thought you were fucking dead, why are you not answering your phone?” He spits.

“Cause Hwa left a fucking note while I was out getting coffee, when I was supposed to have 2 weeks with him, I got a night and didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.” You yell. “That's why I'm not answering my phone.”

“That doesn't give you the right to make me worry. It's been four fucking days.” He sighs. “I'm sorry about Seonghwa. I know it's hard and things change so fast. But you guys will be okay.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. It just sucks.” You pout, walking back to the couch. You truly were so mad at Seonghwa. He hadn't even made an effort to let you know. Jeongin follows you, sitting next to you eating your fries. When you're done with your dinner, you snuggle in against Jeongin, watching a show. His hand resting on your thigh, lightly squeezing, slowly moving its way up. Your clit throbs as he fingers move between your legs, going up the leg of your shorts. He gently rubs your clit over your underwear, making you moan.

“I need you so fucking bad.” He groans, looking down at his cock, bulging against his pants. You smile, licking your lips as you slide off the couch, settling yourself between his legs, helping him pull down his sweats, letting his cock spring free.

You wrap your hand around his cock, gently stroking him as you lean down, wrapping your mouth around his tip. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times before you begin to take him deeper, slowly pushing him further down your throat. Jeongin groans, throwing his head back onto the back of the couch, squeezing his eyes shut as he grabs a chunk of your hair. You bob your head up and down, swallowing his cock while he thrusts up to push it deeper down.

“Okay, okay.” He breathes, letting go of your hair. You lift your head up, licking your lips, looking him in the eyes.

“Ride me.” He says, watching you take off your clothes, climbing onto the couch to hover over him before you sink your pussy down onto him.

“Fuck.” You hiss, your eyes rolling back as he stretches you out. No matter how many times you had slept with him, you could never get used to how well he fills you up.

You lean forward, beginning to bounce on him, letting his cock slide in and out of you over and over again.

“Goddamn, your pussy feels so fucking good.” He groans, his hands holding your hips as you bounce. He leans forward taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking gently, swirling his tongue around the bud as you start rocking back and forth on his cock. You drag your clit against him each time, making you moan, your orgasm building faster and faster each time. Jeongin's fingers dig into your hips as you pick up your pace.

“Fuck.” He groans. “Ride my cock.” He groans. “Shit, cum for me.”

You move faster, your orgasm right there. “Oh my god.” You cry out as it finally hits you, sending chills up your spine. Your eyes roll back again as you cum, slowing down your movements. Jeongin lifts you up slightly to harshly thrust into you, his own orgasm not far behind yours. Seconds later, he thrusts one last time, groaning loudly as he cums deep inside of you, pumping softly, milking himself for every last drop.

You sit there for a moment, before sliding off his cock. You quickly run to the bathroom to clean yourself up before you head back to the living room, where Jeongin is getting himself together.

You really do take such good care of me.” You giggle, putting your clothes back on.

“I'm just doing what Hwa asked me to do.” He laughs, finishing putting his own clothes back on.

“He asks you to fuck me?” You laugh, making him laugh.

“He asks me to take care of you. It's not my fault this is how you need your care.” He smiles. He leans in, and gives you a kiss, before heading towards the door, putting his shoes on. “Call me. For anything.” He says, leaving you alone again.

Seconds later, your phone rings with an unknown number on the screen. “Hello?” You answer.

“Maya?” The person says.

“Yes?”

“Sorry.” He laughs. “It's Jisung. Han Jisung… from the coffee shop.”

“Hi Han Jisung.” You giggle. “How are you?”

“I'm good. Really good. How are you?” He asks.

“I'm really good as well.” You laugh.

“Great… that's great.” He sighs. “would you… you know maybe wanna get dinner tomorrow?” He asks.

“Really?” You ask, perking up. “I'd love that.”

“Oh great, that's awesome.” Han exclaims. “I'll text you the details.”

“Sounds good. Talk later, Han Jisung.” You giggle, hanging up the phone.

You were excited to go out with him, but were you going to be able to juggle dating three men?

Yes you would be able too. You just needed to make a plan, and it was helpful that you were a quick thinker, giving Minho and Han fake names, that way no one would know. Everything was going to be just fine, and with Seonghwa gone for a while, it would be easy to split up your time between Minho and Han.

The next night, you were getting ready for your date with Han. He had texted you earlier in the day about a well-known, fancy Italian restaurant that he rented out for the night so no one would be able to disturb the two of you. Your heart melted at the sentiment. He was really so sweet and you hadn't even been out with him yet.

Your taxi pulled up outside of the restaurant and you could see Han already there, waiting. You smile as you get out of the car after paying the driver, making your way inside. When the hostess greets you, Han turns around and smiles seeing you standing there. He stands up as you walk towards him, pulling out your chair for you before sitting back down.

“Such a gentleman.” You giggle.

“You look stunning tonight.” He smiles.

“Why thank you.” You smile, a blush spreading across your face. He was so sweet and you loved that he seemed so nervous to be out with you.

The entire night, he had you laughing so hard. You tried to eat your food, but the second you were going to put something in your mouth, he had you giggling again and again. You really liked him, and you were excited to add him into the mix. Each man gave you something else that the others didn't, things that you felt like you were lacking and you appreciate them all. You hadn't planned to sleep with him that night, but things happen, feelings change and that's how you wound up making out with him in the foyer of his apartment, as he leads you towards his bedroom.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Han whispers as he tugs at the zipper of your dress.

“Yes.” You breathe. “I want this.” You say.

Han pulls the zipper down, letting your dress just slide off your body, leaving you in your bra and panties. Han's breath hitches as he stares at you, licking his lips. He grabs you, pulling you into his bedroom where he pushes you back on the bed. He crawls on after you, hooking his fingers into your panties, dragging them down your legs. He tosses them onto the floor before he spreads your legs open, moving in between your thighs. He spreads your lips, licking a long strip up your cunt, making you moan, slightly. He uses the tip of his tongue to flick your clit a few times before he wraps his lips around his, sucking gently on it. You shimmy out of your bra, grabbing your tits, rolling your nipples between your fingers as he sloppily eats your pussy, licking and sucking, making your eyes roll back.

Han slowly pushes two fingers inside of you, making you scream louder, as he finger fucks you and sucks on yout clit.

“Holy shit.” You cry out, your back arching as you can feel your orgasm coming quickly. It doesn't even take seconds for it to hit you. You cry out loudly, while Han slows down his movements, moving his face away, pulling his fingers out as he licks his lips. You lay there breathing heavily as he unbuckles his belt, taking off his pants and letting his hard cock spring free. He reaches over into his bedside table, grabbing a condom and rolling it onto his cock.

He lines himself up with you, slowly pushing his cock inside of you.

Fuck. He stretched you out almost as good as Seonghwa, Jeongin or Minho.

You wrap your legs around his waist as he starts pounding himself into you. Your legs only last there for a second before Han has them up against him, holding onto them tightly as he rams his cock into you, with each thrust pushing himself into you as far as he can go. He legs go of your leg and takes one hand to play with your swollen clit, making you jump when he touches the sensitive bud. He rubs your clits while maintaining his speed, slamming into you each time.

“Fuck, oh fuck.” You cry out, arching your back once again. You can feel your second orgasm coming quickly, you could tell he was going to cum soon too. You let go, letting your orgasm flow through you, clenching your cunt around his cock. Han groans as he moves his hand from your clit, digging his fingers into your legs as he pounds into you, chasing his own high.

“I'm cumming.” He groans, spilling his seed inside his condom, moaning loudly as he works through his orgasm. “Fuck.” He breathes. You keep laying on the bed, trying to make the world stop spinning as Han gets up, discarding his condom before slipping his boxers back on and crawling in beside you.

You lay and talk with him for a little bit, until you decide you should be getting home. As you got dressed, Han laid in his bed, watching you getting dressed, with a big grin plastered on his face.

“I really wanna see you again.” He smiles, making you laugh.

“I'd love to see you again.” You say, finishing up zipping up your dress. You look at your phone, Seonghwa's picture and name flashing on the screen. “I'll call you.” You say, crawling on the bed to kiss him, before you leave his apartment. You call Seonghwa back as you walk away from Han's apartment.

“Hey baby.” He answers the phone.

“Hi.” You say. You were still mad at him for taking off without so much of a goodbye. It hurt your heart and he didn't even try to call you. There were no missed calls on your phone.

“Baby, please. I couldn't get a hold of you.” He sighs.

“Oh you couldn't? Then why were there no missed calls on my phone? Why haven't I talked to you in 5 days since you left?” You ask.

“I had no time!” He exclaims. “They called and said we had to go. I was rushing around. And it's been so busy, this is the first free second I've had.”

You wanted to believe him, and part of you did. But the other part of you didn't. He didn't have a second before bed to even shoot you a text? Or a second as he's rushing out of the apartment down to the hallway before his flight, he couldn't have pressed his speed dial quickly and put his phone up to his ear?

“Okay.” You breathe. He was going to be gone for a while, and the last thing you wanted was to fight about something like this.

“Are we okay?” He whispers. You knew his anxiety was currently eating him alive. He knew you were upset with him but he didn't know how upset you were.

“Yeah, we're fine.” You say. You didn't want to say more. You were extremely upset, and you currently didn't want to talk to him.

“Okay. They're calling me back. I love you, Y/N.” He says.

“Love you too. Good luck.” You say, hanging up the phone. You were annoyed as you waited outside for your Uber. Han offered to take you home but you politely declined, not wanting him to have to leave when he was already home. As you stand there, you can faintly hear someone calling the name Maya. You're turning your head in all directions trying to see who is calling, when someone familiar comes into view.

“Hey you.” Minho smiles, walking up to you. “What are you doing here?” He asks.

“Oh, Minho, hi.” You laugh. “Here? Oh I was just visiting a friend!” You exclaim. “I'm just waiting for my Uber.” You explain.

“Uber? Nah, I'll drive you home.” He says. “There was something I actually had wanted to ask you.” He says, walking you towards his car.

“Something you wanted to ask me, huh?” You giggle, sliding into the passenger seat of his car. Before you let him ask you his question, you told him your address. It took a few minutes of driving before he actually began talking to you.

“I really enjoyed the other night.” He laughs, thinking back to the night the two of you met. “But I wanted to know if you maybe wanted to go on a date with me?” He asks.

“A date? I would love to!” You grin.

“Dancing, dinner, drinks…I don't know, bowling?” He suggests. “Whatever you want to do!” He says, excitedly.

“I'd love to have dinner and drinks.” You smile. Minho smiles widely as he pulls up to your building.

“Awesome, okay.” He says. “I'll call you.”

“Sounds good. Thank you for the ride!” You say, getting out of the car. You wave to Minho before you start walking into your building. As you walked down the hallway of your floor, you noticed someone standing beside your door. You tried to squint to see who it was, but couldn't quite make them out being so far away. But as you got closer, you immediately recognized who it was standing there.

“Innie.” You laugh, walking up to the sour looking man. “What are you doing here?”

“Why were you getting out of Minho’s car?” He asks.

“How did you know that?” You ask, sliding your key into the lock.

“I looked out the window at the end of the hall. You were laughing and smiling. What the hell is going on?” He asks.

“He just gave me a ride. I was visiting a friend.” You laugh. “Are you gonna come in?” You ask, holding the door open for him.

Jeongin takes a deep breath, walking into your place, leaving his concerns outside the door.

**

It had been two months of you dating three men, and only sleeping with one of them, and you were at the point where you were putting dates with who in your calendar, along with information you’ve told them about yourself, like your name, into your notes just so you weren’t getting confused. It was a lot of work, but you were having the time of your life, and they all seemed to be enjoying their time as well. Jeongin was still suspicious, but you maintained that you and Minho were barely acquaintances, he only gave you a ride home that night because it was cold. You even told him that he could ask Minho about you, Y/N and that you were sure he wouldn’t even know who he was talking about. He seemed to accept that, for now. But you were going to have to be smarter if you were going to keep this up and keep Jeongin from finding anything out.

“You’re still coming right?” Seonghwa asks on facetime, as you walk around the apartment.

“You see this stuff in my hands?” You laugh. “These are my clothes that are going over into that suitcase over there, which will be going onto the plane that I will also be on to go to Chicago.” You laugh, putting the clothes into your suitcase.

“When did you get so sarcastic?” Seonghwa laughs. You glare at him through the screen when a call from Minho pops up onto the screen of your phone. You knew Seonghwa couldn’t see it but you still panicked a little and swiped it off the screen.

“What was that? Are you okay?” Seonghwa asks, looking a little concerned.

“Oh yeah.” You laughed it off. “Just a spam call.” You explain.

“I can’t wait to see you, baby.” Seonghwa smiles.

“I can’t wait either.” You sigh. You really missed him. You had the company of Minho, Han and Jeongin but it wasn’t the same as having Seonghwa around. You were having fun with them and you were sure they knew it.

You stood at the airport, looking at the screen for your flight to Chicago, and the large letters of canceled flashing on the screen. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you walked to the desk of the airline you were supposed to fly, seeing if there was anything they could do.

“I’m so sorry, but because of the weather in Chicago, all the flights for at least the next few days have been canceled. And not just with our airline, but with all of them.” She says, giving you a sympathetic smile.

“Thank you.” You whisper, turning around to walk away. You pull out your phone, calling Seonghwa.

“Are you boarded, baby?” He asks. You take a deep breath, trying not to show that you were crying.

“Um.” You begin, your voice trembling. “My flight was canceled.” You say.

“Okay, well just find another one.” He says, in a chipper voice.

“They’re all canceled, Hwa.” You breathe. “Weather in Chicago apparently isn’t good and no one is flying there for the next few days.” You say.

“Baby, this was the only time that worked for both of us.” He whispers. You can hear it in his voice that he’s upset. And so are you. You had been looking forward to seeing him, and being in his arms once again.

“I know.” You sniffle.

“It’s okay, love. It’s been two months, and we only have two more to go, it’ll fly by, okay?” He says. “Stay strong, I love you.” He says.

“I love you too.. But Hwa, I'm feeling really… well not myself. Can we talk?” You ask, walking back towards the doors of the airport.

“They’re calling me back for rehearsal.” He says. “I gotta go, we’ll talk later, okay? Love you!” He says before hanging up the phone.

You put your phone back in your pocket, doing your best to swallow your tears. You knew he was a busy man, but fuck, sometimes you just needed your boyfriend. You knew one person who was around. You pulled your phone out again, dialing his number.

“Hi.” You whisper. “My flight was canceled, can you come get me?” You ask.

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He says, hanging up the phone. You walk over to a little concrete bench, sitting down and waiting. You let all your tears out while you waited, so you didn’t cry the entire time in his car.

What only felt like seconds later, a familiar call pulls up, parking right in front of you. You put your luggage in the back seat before getting into the passenger seat.

“Thank you for coming.” You smile. You were sure your face was red and puffy right now.

“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles, driving back to your apartment.

**

“I just don’t get it.” You whine, laying your head on Jeongin’s lap. “I mean i do get it, but I don’t because if my girlfriend was clearly upset, i’d tell them to fuck off, and talk to her. Maybe he just doesn’t care.” You huff.

“Well you know I'd never do that to you.” He whispers.

You were sure he was joking. “You’re such a dork.” You laugh.

“Listen.” He starts. “If you’re this unhappy with things, why not end it?” Jeongin asks.

“Tour doesn’t last forever.” You say. “When he’s back home, things will be fine. But it's hard when you're apart for so long. Like he said, only two more months.” You sigh.

“Yeah, I'm sure it will be.” He sighs.

**

Over the next month and a half, you absolutely started to feel better, you had been going out with Minho on Monday, Wednesday’s and Friday’s, and he had asked you to be his girlfriend after a few dates. Of course you said yes.

You had also been going out with Han on Tuesday’s, Thursday’s and Saturday’s, and he had also asked you to be his girlfriend. Who were you to say no and deny him? As for Sundays, you saved that day for yourself, or for seeing Jeongin, who seemed to be upset every time you talked to him.

“What’s going on?” You ask Jeongin. “You’ve been so mad whenever you come over.”

“Do you know a girl named Maya? Or Jennie?” He asks.

“Mhmm, no, those names don't sound familiar?” You murmur. Your stomach was twisting and turning. He didn’t know, right? “Why?” You ask.

“Han and Minho are each dating a girl, I was just wondering if you knew who they were.” He says. Your stomach settles.

“Nope, I don’t.” You say.

You hoped this wasn't going to blow up in your face. But even if it did, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

A few days later, you were sitting in your bed, scrolling through your phone, before your date with Minho, when you received a call from Seonghwa. It had been a few days since you talked to him. “Hello?” You say, answering the phone.

“Hi baby.” He whispers.

You knew there was going to be bad news.

“What?” You ask. “Something happened, or you need to tell me something.” You say.

“The tour…” He pauses.

If they extended it, you were going to burst.

“They’ve added some Canadian dates, and some in Mexico too.” He says.

“So?” you sigh. “How much longer?” You ask.

“They’re also talking about adding more European dates.” He says. “I don’t know, maybe another 6 months if they add them all.” He explains.

You felt numb now. You were just numb. You weren't going to see your boyfriend? That's fine, you had two other’s you could fall back on. You still loved Seonghwa, but you were getting tired of not seeing him. And you knew that Minho, Han and Jeongin might be going on tour soon, also. So you better get used to being alone, or maybe you just need to find more boyfriends for when that happens.

“Okay.” You say.

“Okay?” he questions. “That’s all you have to say?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Hwa. Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to yell? What good will any of those things do? Will you come back and skip the rest of the tour?” You ask.

“Well… no.” He sighs. “I don’t know. I just wasn't expecting you to accept it so easily.” He admits.

“Does it hurt? Yeah it absolutely does. Do I wish you would come home? Yeah i fucking miss you but theres nothing i can do, except maybe try to come out to one of the shows. But I love you and I know you’re doing what you love so I can't be upset at that anymore.” You say.

“You’re the fucking best, baby. I’ll figure out a date that works for me and see if it works for you. And if it does, I’m booking you the first flight out. Okay?” he says.

You smile. “Sounds good.” You say.

There's a knock at the door. You know it’s Minho.

“Is someone at the door?” Seonghwa asks.

“Oh, it’s Jeongin. He wanted to go for dinner.” You respond.

“Ah okay, well have fun baby. I love you.” He says.

“I love you more.” You whisper, hanging up the phone. You get up and out of bed, running to your front door. You pull it open, grinning at Minho.

“Hi baby.” He says, grabbing you, planting his lips onto yours.

He pulls away, smiling.

“Hello to you too.” You giggle.

“Are you ready to go?” he asks.

“Just about, I have to put my shoes on.” You say, shuffling over to your shoe rack. You slip on your favorite heels that aren't really heels, but they’re still cute. “Now I'm ready.” You say.

“Good, I've got a fun evening planned.” He says, taking your hand and pulling you out of the apartment.

**

Over the next few months, you have completely fallen for Han and Minho. You were still in love with Seonghwa, but those two were constantly there for you in ways that Seonghwa hadn’t been able to be in what felt like forever. You knew you couldn’t be doing it like this for much longer. Seonghwa would be home in a few months and you wouldn’t be able to see either of them and that would end up raising some questions. You needed to choose, but you didn’t have a single idea of who you were going to pick.

You’d been with Seonghwa the longest and you loved him, but there was something about Minho that had you drawn to him. And Han was just so sweet and attentive. How was a girl even supposed to make a choice like this?

One Sunday, you were at home, alone, exhausted from a week with your two boyfriends. You were lounging on your couch when you heard a knock before a distraught looking Jeongin walked in, heading straight for you.

“We need to talk.” He says, seriously.

“Is Seonghwa okay?” You ask.

“Who gives a fuck!” Jeongin snaps.

“Innie.” You whisper. “What’s going on?” You ask.

“I love you.” He breathes. “Fuck, i’ve loved you for so long, Y/N. I’m here. I’m standing right in front of you. Where is he?”

“Innie… he’s on tour doing what he loves.” You say. “We were just having fun… it was anything serious… at least it wasn't supposed to be.” You whisper.

“You’re still gonna choose him?” Jeongin scoffs.

“I’ll always choose him.” You whisper.

Jeoning scoffs, nodding his head before he takes off, slamming the door in the process. You have never seen him so angry at anything, let alone you. You felt a little guilty, like you had been stringing him along. Jeongin was a great guy and a great lay, but you didn’t have those types of feelings for him. Your feelings were stretched enough between Minho, Han and Seonghwa.

Not long after, you had been laying on your couch, watching your favorite series, when there was another knock at your door. You roll off the couch, shuffling towards the door. You pull it open, Surprised to see Minho standing there.

“Jennie, what the fuck is going on?” He asks.

“What do you mean?” You ask. Before he can open his mouth, someone else chimes in. “Jennie?” you hear from around the door. “Her name is Maya.” Han says, coming into view.

“She’s not Jennie or Maya.” You hear a familiar voice. Seconds later Jeongin walks into view.

“Her name is Y/N, and her 3 year anniversary with Park Seonghwa is coming up soon.” He says.

“What?” Minho asks, looking between both men.

“So you’ve been dating four fucking people?” Han asks.

“Oh no, she hasn’t been dating me.” Jeongin says. “She’s only been fucking me whenever she wants but has no feelings for me.”

“What the fuck, Jennie… Maya… or whatever the fuck your name is.” Minho snaps.

“I can’t do this.” Han whispers. Both men walk away, Leaving you and Jeongin standing face to face.

“Why?” You whisper. You felt like you were going to throw up. “Why would you do this? How did you even find out?”

“I’m not a fucking moron, Y/N. I see shit. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are.” He snaps, turning to walk away. “Oh, and before I go, You should be expecting a phone call from Seonghwa.” He smiles, leaving you to drop to the ground as your phone begins to ring.

“Hello?” You whisper.

“Y/N, why am i getting calls and texts from Jeongin saying you’ve been dating fucking Minho, Han and fucking Jeongin?” He snaps.

“I don’t know, baby!” You say. “He’s mad at me I think.” You tell him.

“Why would he be mad at you?” Seonghwa asks.

“Because he confessed his feelings to me!” You exclaim. You were so glad this wasn't happening in person. Your entire body was heating up, you were sure your face was so extremely flushed at this moment.

“And what did you say?” He asks.

“I told him that I love you and I wasn't interested in being anything other than friends with him.” You explain. “He was so angry. So now he's trying to ruin us by making this shit up.”

“Have you been sleeping with him?” Seonghwa asks.

“Oh my god, Seonghwa, come on, you seriously think I would do that? I love you!” You say.

“I don’t know what to think right now.” He sighs. “I gotta go, I need to sort some things out. I’ll call you when I'm ready.” He says, hanging up the phone. You wander back to your shared room with Seonghwa. Your stomach was in knots thinking about what was going to come from this.

Over the next few days, you received hurtful texts from Minho and Han. You did feel guilty for hurting them but that's kind of a part of life, right? Had Jeongin not ruined it, you had had a plan, and a good one in place. It was one that would have let them down easily, and hopefully spared their feelings.

You felt alone now. You had needed them while Seonghwa was gone and that’s what Jeongin didn't understand. This wasn't you trying to be a terrible person, it was you getting what you needed until the one you loved more came home.

It had been almost a week since you’d spoken to Seonghwa and the feeling of anxiety honestly got worse with each day. You were desperate to know what he was thinking. Did he still love you? Was he still going to be with you? Did he really believe Jeongin?

As you were laying on the couch, staring at the blank screen, waiting for Seonghwa to call you, you heard a key go in the lock.

There were only two other people who had a key.

Jeongin and Seonghwa.

You sit up, staring at the door. The door opens, and in walks Seonghwa.

“How are you home?” You yell, running towards him. You jump onto him, and he holds onto you, but he doesn't squeeze you like he usually does. You can feel the anger he has without him even saying a word.

You slide down, standing on the floor, looking at him.

“Baby?” You whisper.

“I took a leave. This shit…this shit you’re putting me through is fucking me up.” He says, walking past you towards the couch. “How could you do this to me? To us?” He asks, his voice trembling. You watch him, his lip quivering as he tries to hold in his tears. But he can't. He breaks down, sitting on the couch sobbing into his hands. You don't know what to do. He's crying so hard and loudly, honestly it was making you a little uncomfortable.

“I didn’t do anything! I told you, Jeongin is lying!” You say.

His head snaps up. He wipes away his tears as anger fuels him. “Then why do i have fucking pictures?” He screams, standing up. He unlocks his phone, scrolling to the pictures. He shows you one of you and Minho, looking cozy and laughing at a dinner date. He scrolls again, showing you a picture of you and Han, kissing. He scrolled again, showing you a picture of you and Jeongin, him with you going down on him.

“Well fuck.” You say. You didn't know there were pictures. Had you known you probably would have just come out and told him the truth. What did you do now?

Apologize.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper. You're trying to cry. You're trying to show him that you feel bad. “I’m so sorry.” You sniffle, as one tear rolls down your cheek.

Fuck.

“So it’s true.” He breathes. “Did you ever love me?” He asks.

That question turned things around. Instead of trying to look sorry, you were angry. “Did I ever love you? Are you fucking kidding me?” You snap.

“I've loved you through fucking everything. The late practices, the music shows, the rehearsals, recordings, concerts and the fucking tours! I should be asking you that question! You left a note, Hwa! A fucking note and you were going to be gone for four fucking months, and you left a goddamn note!” You scream.

“Y/N.” He whispers.

“No! I’ve missed you so fucking much! It hurt so much! I tried to talk to you but you were too busy! I was lonely and you didn’t care. Yeah, I went about it probably in the worst fucking way possible but i did what I needed to do to get through it, and i’m sorry I did this to you. You can hate me, you can break up with me, you can do whatever you feel like you need to do. But don’t ever question if I loved you or not because you know I fucking did.”

Seonghwa sits there, looking down at the ground. He doesn't say anything and you have nothing else to say. You walk out of the room, putting on your shoes, grabbing your bag and leaving the apartment.

**

“You did what!?” Lisa gasps. You sip on your cocktail after explaining the entire thing to her. “Honestly, I thought you just hooked up with Minho that one time.” she says. “I had no idea you were full on dating him, and Han!? Girl!” she laughs. “And then Jeongin too?”

“I wasn't dating him.” You clarify. “I was just sleeping with him when I wanted. Which I mean, I get but it was never supposed to be serious. It was casual and he knew it.”

“Did he know it?” She asks.

“I thought he did. But somewhere along the lines he caught feelings.” You sigh.

“I mean… who wouldn't.” Lisa laughs, which makes you laugh.

“But he was the one who told all of them. So I have nothing more to say to him, ever again.” You say, finishing your cocktail.

Just as you set your glass back onto the bar, the door opens. You look over, seeing Jeongin looking around the bar. You immediately duck, trying to hide yourself. You were drunk, and you had no interest in speaking to him.

“Y/N.” you hear him say. You let out a sigh, sitting up, turning to look at him.

“I’m drunk and not responsible for what I call you or what I say to you.” You warn him.

“I’m sorry.” He says. “I thought if maybe they all knew the truth, then you would maybe consider me.” He tells you.

“So you blew up my life, because I wouldn’t date you?” you ask. You knew it was yes. You knew that was the reason he did this but you just needed him to confirm it.

“Yeah… I’m sorry.’ He whispers.

“Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.” You snap. You slam some money down on the bar, leaving him there and walking out. You wander around the streets. You weren't ready to go home but wandering was nice, it helped you think. You knew this wasn't Jeongin’s fault. It was a little, but the blame was mostly on you. The secret would have come out eventually, he just sped up the process.

You were just twisted in the way you were thinking and rationalizing the decisions you made. You were good at saying that you were sorry but you knew you weren't legitimately sorry. The only thing you were truly sorry for was the fact that you had been caught. Had this not happened, who knows how long this would have gone on for. What if it was years and then what were you supposed to do if they all proposed?

Fuck. That would have been a nightmare. Maybe you should be thanking Jeongin for this?

You didn't know how to feel about your relationship with Seonghwa. You didn’t know what to do. Your fucking head was nothing but a jumbled, tangled mess and you didn’t know if you were going to be able to untangle it, or how. You ended up wandering back to your shared apartment with Seonghwa. You were a little nervous to go in, but you knew you needed to face the consequences. You opened the door and were met with nothing but silence. The lights were off, the tv was off and it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

You turned on the kitchen lights, seeing a piece of paper on the kitchen table.

Y/N,

I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me. You put up with a lot, and I wasn't as appreciative as I should have been. I’ve loved you for almost three years, and i dont think I'll ever stop, but what you did was unforgivable. I can't look at you the same anymore. My trust for you is completely gone. I’m sorry it’s come to this. You can keep the apartment. I’ll get my stuff when I'm back from tour.

Hwa

Part of you wanted to cry, but the other part of you felt relieved. You were now free to do whatever you wanted. You weren't tied down anymore, and you could breathe. You loved Seonghwa and you always would, but you weren't sure if you were meant for relationships. Maybe you were just meant to be alone?

**

A few months later, you're backstage at an awards show, when you see Minho and Han with Jeongin all talking. You haven't spoken to Minho or Han since the night they confronted you and you had always felt a little tug at your heart to make amends with them. They seemed to need it more than you did. You take a deep breath, walking over to them. They look at you with stone cold faces.

“Um, hi.” You say. It’s awkward. “Listen, I just wanted to sincerely apologize to both of you for what I did. It wasn’t right and I shouldn't have done that. I was being greedy and I'm sorry.”

“Thank you, Y/N.” Han says.

“Yeah, thanks.” Minho half smiles.

You look at Jeongin, not saying a word, before turning to walk away, going back to where you were waiting for the man who has seemingly changed your entire way of thinking in the last few months. You had met him when you were out at a club, only days after you lost four important people in your life and things with him had been so different from anything else you had experienced.

“Baby, you made it!” You hear a familiar voice from behind you.

You turn around, seeing your boyfriend, Hoseok rushing towards you. You smile widely, putting your arms out for him to grab your and spin you around. “I missed you.” He says, placing a kiss on your lips.

“I missed you too!” You say, hugging him tightly. He sets you down, and from over his shoulder you can see Seonghwa standing there, looking broken as he stares at you with Hoseok.

You look away, focusing on your boyfriend instead of your past. “Listen, we might be going on a tour soon.” He sighs.

“Aww baby, that's okay.” You smile, glancing over his shoulder, catching the eye of Hoseok's best friend, Minhyuk from BTOB. You send him a wink, before looking back at J-hope.

“We'll get through it.”

《 If you enjoy reading my stories and would like to commission one, or donate to help keep me writing you can do so HERE. It would be so appreciated as I am in a bind currently.》

[robingoetia12]

I Love You, I’m Sorry

Despite the fact their communication had improved, Blitzø still had his walls up and Stolas didn’t know how to get his boyfriend to open up. But god damn it, he had to try.

Or where Stolas has no idea of the pain Blitzø is hiding and tries to get him to open up, but aren’t drunk words sober thoughts?

Tags: Stolas and Blitzø have made up, Stolas is a worried boyfriend, Blitzø is traumatised, no smut, angst with fluff, mentions of alcohol problems, Blitzø misses his mum, Cash Buckzo is a prick, mentions of abuse

Chapter 1

After Stolas had finally pulled his head out of his cloaca, he and Blitzø had a long talk and finally sorted the shit out in their relationship. Now things were absolutely amazing between them.

Blitzø spent most nights at Stolas’ palace and he even brought Loona with him so she and Via could spend time together. Everything was perfect… Almost.

Despite the fact their communication had improved, Blitzø still had his walls up and Stolas didn’t know how to get his boyfriend to open up. But god damn it he had to try.

Blitzø was never late back to Stolas’. Ever. Every passing minute of the clock and every coffee refill only caused the prince’s mind to increasingly fester with worry. His thoughts kept flashing to every worst possible scenario of what could’ve happened to Blitzø. As his thoughts travelled to the possibility of Striker kidnapping him, the door swung open.

In stumbled Blitzø, clearly drunk. Stolas sighed in relief and walked towards him then crouched to the imp’s level to meet his yellow eyes that were fixed on the floor. “Darling. Where were you? Are you okay?”

Blitzø, unusually silent, wrapped his arms around Stolas’ waist. Stolas hugged him back but then felt him shaking in his grip and then heard quiet sobs coming out of Blitzø’s mouth, the tears soaking the owl’s feathers. And then the frantic mumbling started.

“I’m sorry…”

Stolas tried to pull Blitzø back so he could look at him properly but Blitzø clung to him tighter, his voice rising and cracking more.

“No momma! Please I’m sorry.”

Stolas froze up. Blitzø had never mentioned his mother or any of his family before. “Darling-”

“Mom please! I love you, I’m sorry.”

Stolas knew he wasn’t listening and was too drunk to focus so he scooped his boyfriend up and tucked him into their bed. He headed out to get him a glass of water to sober him up. What he heard next nearly made him drop the glass.

“Dad please don’t! It hurts!”

Stolas nearly let out a hysterical sob but covered his mouth to stop himself so it came out as a quiet, strained cry. He could see that Blitzø had fallen asleep but then heard one more murmur from him.

“Please, I’ll be better… I just want to see Fizz…”

Stolas got into bed next to him and reached out for Blitzø’s spikes on his back and could still feel the shaking from his body and Stolas noticed how he wrapped his tail around himself. He rubbed his back gently to try and soothe him. “I love you darling…”

He couldn’t sleep after that. He kept tossing and turning, desperately trying to figure out what Blitzø went through and how he could help him but thinking about what it could possibly be made his stomach churn.

How did he not notice?

How did he not realise how affected he clearly was by whatever happened to him?

How could he help him open up?

Blitzø woke up the next morning, head pounding. He fell back onto the bed dramatically. “Ugh… I drank way too much last night, fuck…” He turned his head and saw Stolas clinging to him, still asleep. He smiled softly and stroked his feathers and went to check the time and saw it was 9am.

Shit.

He needed to be in the office in 15 minutes. He gently extracted himself out of Stolas’ arms, being careful not to wake him and jumped off the bed seeing his jacket hung on the back of Stolas’ door and pulled it on. Stolas sat up and blinked like a frog, groggily observing Blitzø rush around. “Darling? Everything okay?”

“Yeah… I need to go like now. We have a client who wants us to kill their target in some bullshit way so I gotta go.” He explained whilst opening the door.

Stolas followed him, red dressing gown on and holding the glass of water. “Do you want something to eat before you leave?”

Blitzø turned around. Despite the fact he and Stolas were a couple he still wasn’t used to being cared for. He was used to people leaving him…

“What? Uh no thanks it’s fine I’ll pick something up on the way.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket as he got to the front door. Stolas gently pulled him back.

“Will you at least drink this before you leave? You came home very intoxicated last night. It’ll do you some good.”

Blitzø rolled his eyes and took the glass. “Fine…” He downed the entire thing and then placed on the nearby table. Stolas was still frazzled from last night. He desperately wanted to hold Blitzø and protect him from anything that might hurt him again.

Stolas quickly spoke up before Blitzø left. “You’re coming home tonight aren’t you?” Blitzø looks up at him, holding his keys. “Yeah. Sorry ‘bout last night, can’t have been fun to put up with me shit faced.” Stolas bent down and hugged him, mumbling about how he didn’t have to apologise. Blitzø snorted slightly, hugging him back. “Christ on a stick, someone’s all lovey dovey this morning.”

Stolas pulled away and kissed the imp softly on his lips and pressed his forehead against his. “I love you darling…” Blitzø smiled and opened the door. “Love you too, ya dork.” He left and sped away in his van. Stolas sighed heavily as the van disappeared. His heart was in his chest, he didn’t know how to help Blitzø.

But he would do whatever he could to keep him safe and happy.

No matter what.

A/N: Proof read by my sister @charliewalkersgf (she doesn’t even like Helluva Boss so she’s been forced into it lmao 🤣) and thanks for the people who replied to a post I made about the dialogue!! You all were very helpful and creative!!! Hope you enjoyed the fic!!! More chapters to come!!

[jungkookslipring]

morning hugs

pairings: reader x Seungmin (mentions of OT8)

genre: fluff/tword

relationship: platonic (or romantic wink wink)

AU: this was based on a dream I had the other day lol also look at his sweet smile oh my god mom i love him

Summary: when your morning routine consists of coffee runs and waking up a sleepy Seungmin

Saturdays were always the best day of the week. It was a day when you didn't have to worry about work and could spend the whole day with your best friends. Even if it was just for an hour or two, it was always worth it. Today, you were going to meet your friends for a couple of hours before they went off to do their own thing. To surprise them, you decided to bring them all drinks from a local coffee shop. Their faces lit up with excitement when they saw their usual coffee orders, and you all laughed and enjoyed each other's company.

"Where's the rest of the guys?" you ask, noticing that three were missing.

"Innie's in the bathroom, Changbin is trying to wake up Seungmin," Chan said as he drank his smoothie.

You nod your head and grab their drink tray, heading towards the bedroom. As you pass by the open bathroom, you notice I.N humming while brushing his teeth. You offer him his iced americano and smile as he thanks you, but almost spits out his toothpaste. You proceed to take the two coffee drinks to Seungmin's shared bedroom. When you enter, you see Changbin "trying" to get Seungmin out of bed, which is actually just cuddling. You laugh as you set the drinks on the desk, and Changbin calls out your name and beckons you into bed.

"I'm not falling for that, Seungmin will just fall back asleep," you say as you sit on the bed, trying to dodge Changbin's hand that keeps grabbing for your wrist.

"Hey!" you shout as Changbin succeeds in grabbing your wrist and pulling you next to them.

"You're better at getting him out of bed," Changbin chuckles as he gives you a thank-you kiss on your cheek before getting up from the bed to retrieve his coffee. Seungmin rolls over and wraps his arms around you.

“Mornin snuggle bug,” You said in a high-pitched and squeaky voice as he giggled sleepily. You were grateful to see that sweet smile on his face every day. You briefly rubbed his back before letting your hand stray closer and closer to his sides. He jerked in your hold and started giggling.

“Why are you so giggly huh? You act like I’m gonna attack you," you say with a smirk.

“Cause you alwayhahays dohoho,” he giggled as he protected his torso.

“I won't! Scouts honor,” you promise as you let go.

“You never did scouts waihahahahahait” he giggled as you squeezed his tummy from your new sitting position.

“Sorry Minnie can’t help it!” you smiled as he squeaked at the feeling.

“You’re just too cute!” You simply state as loud giggles and squeaky laughter flowed from his lips. It was interesting how he didn’t tell you to stop.

“Oh my god you love this don’t you?” You ask, stopping your attack momentarily. He flushed red as he refused to answer that question.

“Kim Seungmin you’ll be the death of me one day,” you said when you started tickling him again. His laughter went up an octave when his shirt rode up, giving you access to wiggle your fingers on his abs. The sweetest sounds filled the room as he weakly batted at your hands, his body curling up on itself and leaning his head further into your lap.

“Tickle tickle tickle!” you teased until Seungmin’s laughter went silent. As much as you could do this for eternity you knew he’d need a break eventually. You slowed down your tickles and simply started rubbing his abs, trying to get rid of the ghost tickles that still lingered. Small giggles fell from his lips as he caught his breath and covered his eyes.

“That was torture,” he mumbled with the biggest smile on his face.

“Oh don’t act like you hated it,” you joked poking his side once more. You both knew this would happen again tomorrow, and he didn't mind one bit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of my dreams lately have had Seungmin as my best friend and it makes my heart happy hahahaha let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow

[vivwritesfics]

Shine A Light Into The Wreckage

Chapter Seven - Somewhere Unfamiliar

Bob Floyd was many things. He was an instructor at Top Gun, a lover of Tolkien books and a huge fan of coffee. But Bob was also clumsy. That was how he bumped into the table, knocking her drink onto her notebook. He felt bad about it. Bad enough to come back time and time again, in the hopes that she would be there. And, every time, she is. Each time looking a little worse for wear. It doesn't take Bob long to realise he has to save her.

Warnings: Abusive relationship! Abusive hair pulling! Abusive choking! Forceful sex! Domestic abuse! Seriously don't read if you're affect by stuff like this! Talks of stalking (but in a non serious manner), talks of non consensual groping. she gets called a whore, choking, SA, 'missing' birth control

Series Masterlist

There was nothing scarier than waking up somewhere unfamiliar. She knew something was wrong even before she opened her eyes. Mattress too soft, sheets too warm. There wasn't another body beside her, taking up too much space.

Her head hurt, but she wasn't hungover. No it was more muddied and part of her couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong. She pushed the covers away from her body, revealing a Star Wars shirt that wasn't her own. That small part of her brain that compelled her to lift the collar to her nose and sniff, she couldn't deny it. And, the moment she inhaled the scent, she felt safe, comforted.

She left the room and headed down the stairs, with each bend on her knees, her skin pulled at the plasters, but she ignored it as she walked into the kitchen and adjoining living room.

Bob was nowhere to be found. He wasn't sitting in the kitchen, newspaper open as he read the cereal. He wasn't on the sofa with Frodo, flipping through channels as he drank a coffee. She could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes, the impending breakdown building.

"Hey."

Her feet had never moved so quickly. She turned towards the glass back doors to see Bob sitting out on his back porch, bed hair messy, coffee mug in his lap and cigarette in hands. His glasses weren't sitting straight on his face, adding the domesticity of the look. She didn't care that she was in nothing but his shirt and underwear as she rushed over to sit with him.

It was pathetic, wasn't it? She'd never felt this way before, never felt this kind of dependence on someone. All she had endured, that was her strength. And now it had all crumbled into nothing.

As soon as she was with him, Bob put out his cigarette. "It's a bad habit, I know," he said and sipped his coffee. "I'm trying to kick it."

In that moment, she didn't care about the stench of cigarette on him. From the moment she looked at him, that feeling of safety and security settled in her chest, something she'd never had with Ken. And Bob didn't seem to mind when she sat down beside him and curled up against him.

He didn't put his arm around her. God, he wanted to, but he couldn't, not yet. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment, her gaze moving across his garden. "I don't want to drag you into this mess."

The laugh that Bob released from his lips was soft and had the air tasting of smoke and coffee. "I want you to drag me into this mess," he said. But, as soon as he felt her stiffen up, he regretted it. He scrambled to recover. "So that I can pull you out of it."

It was an answer he hoped would placate her. But, suddenly she was on her feet and pulling the bottom of her shirt down to cover her up some more. "I should go," she said suddenly as she headed back into the house.

"Have you got work?" Bob asked quickly as he got to his feet. He left his mug on the porch as he followed her towards the bathroom.

She collected her jeans from the bathroom floor and walked past him, heading to the bedroom. "Thank you for your kindness, Bobby," she said as she walked into the bedroom. "But I really should be going." She began getting dressed. When she pulled the star wars shirt over her head, Bob turned around (even if she had her back to him.)

"Let me drive you," he said as she patted her pockets for the few things she had brought with her.

She shook her head. "Honestly, I think it's best if you stayed away from my apartment. Ken might get the wrong idea."

The scoff that left his lips was involuntary. As soon as she turned to him with an ice cold stare, he had regretted it. But it was too late. He couldn't take it back, so he pushed forward. "You're seriously going back to him?" He challenged, folding his arms over his shirt. "After everything I saw yesterday, you want to go back?"

"I haven't got a choice, Bob!" She suddenly cried.

The outburst had his own features softening. Part of him hadn't realised how much it was affecting her. Of course, he knew. But she'd been so calm and cool until now. "You do have a choice, Doll," he said, his voice soft and sweet.

She shook her head, falling against Bob and she wrapped her arms around his middle. Tears were falling, but she didn't want him to see. "No, Bobby, I don't."

All the other times he'd held back, stopped himself from allowing any kind of intimacy. He didn't stop himself from kissing the top of her head. "Last night, you kissed me," he said. She tried to move away, but Bob kept a tight hold of her. "You have a choice, and you've got me, no matter what you decide."

She could have kissed him then and there, but she held back. How could she kiss him when she was heading back to Ken?

"Come on," he said, pulling away to grab his truck keys. He was still in his lazy day shorts and yellow shirt, but he didnt much care. "I can't let you walk all that way on your own. I can drop you around the corner."

Reluctantly, she nodded.

Bob did exactly as he said he would. He drove her to her apartment, her hand holding his as he drove. Bob didn't mind. He didn't mind one bit. Just as she had asked, he parked around the corner from her building.

He still had her hand as he parked. Even when his truck was at a complete stop, he didn't let go of her. "Bobby," she whispered as he squeezed her hand. "I have to go."

"Gimme your phone," he said and straightened out his glasses. She loved his glasses. She fished her almost dead phone from her pocket and handed it to him. Quickly, Bob put his number into her phone and passed it back. "There. Now, whenever you need me, you can call me."

The way she swallowed thickly wasn't lost on him. "You're too good to me," she whispered as she climbed out of the car.

Bob watched her. He watched until she disappeared around the corner. The moment she was gone, his head hit the steering wheel. His heart had utterly shattered at her words, and he wasn't entirely sure how to put it back together. She could help, he knew. After he'd fixed her own heart.

As he drove away, went back home for a relaxing day with Frodo, she climbed the stairs of her apartment. She knew what she had to do, knew she should go and break up with him.

When her search for her keys came up empty, she knocked. Knocking on the door to her own apartment, it was laughable. But she waited, tried to listen to what was going on inside as she waited for Ken to open the door. Her heart was erratic in her chest, that feeling of safety and security she had with Bob long gone.

The door was yanked open. She didn't mean to hesitate to step inside, but she couldn't exactly help it. "Oh Barbie," Ken said, his voice calm, kind. "I missed you."

She kept her hands at her sides, but she so desperately itched to reach out and slap him. Why couldn't she? He'd been nothing but awful to her, why couldn't she slap him? "I'm just here to get my stuff," she said, voice strained. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Ken let out a laugh. "What the fuck are you talking about, Barbie?" He asked as he pushed the door shut. "You're not leaving me."

"Ken-"

"No fucking way. I don't care if you're fucking that pilot. You're not going anywhere." He pulled a key, one that didn't look like their usual front door keys, from his pocket and locked the door. "Bedroom, now."

She ignored him, instead reaching for the door. But one twist of the handle confirmed her suspicions. It really was locked. "Let me out." She desperately tried again, desperate for a way out of this apartment. "Ken, open the fucking door."

But he didn't, so she pulled her phone from her hands. Within seconds Ken had snatched it away from her. "I said bedroom, Barbie."

"Don't fucking call me that."

That calm demeanor Ken had been wearing finally disappeared. He went to grab her but she flinched, body hitting the door. But that was enough for Ken. He pushed her to the floor and yanked down her jeans. "Where the fuck did you go last night, Barbie? Who the fuck fixed you up?" But, when only a whimper left her lips, he pulled down her underwear and freed himself from his trousers.

"Please," she tried, but part of her knew it was inevitable.

He'd never raped her on the floor like that. It had always been in the bedroom or the kitchen counter. Never on the floor in front of the door. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting her mind take her back to that morning, to sitting on the deck with Bob. Bob. He'd given her his number just for this, and she couldn't even contact him.

"You're not going anywhere ever again, Barbie," he said between grunts.

It wasn't long until Ken brought himself to completion. He climbed off of her, leaving her on the floor. She pushed herself against the door and brought her knees to her chest. Why had she ever come back here? Why hadn't she stayed with Bob?

Sudden realisation hit her and panic overtook her chest. Fuck, she hadn't taken her birth control last night. As quick as she could she climbed off of the floor and ran to the bathroom. She searched through the cupboard, desperately searching for the empty tub of lotion that held her birth control.

It didn't rattle as she picked it up, the pills inside not rolling around. Her heart was in her throat, guts ready to spill as she pulled off the lid.

Empty. There was nothing inside. Her birth control was gone. She couldn't stop the tears that sprang to her eyes as she sank to her knees.

a/n: spoiler alert but this is the last chapter before Bob finally does something about ken

Taglist: @nurse-sainz

@not-nyasa

@burningwitchprincess

@darksparklesficrecs

@primroseluna

@littlemsbumblebee

@wretchedmo

@imaginecrushes

@calpalsbestie

@hiireadstuff

@lyn-js

@emma8895eb

@teacupsandtopgun

[mandoalorian]

tolerate it [javi peña x gn!reader]

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky…” 

Warnings: this is not nice, I'm sorry. This is pure, unadulterated angst. Based on the song tolerate it and You’re Losing Me by Miss Swift herself.  Word count: 2000approx. Author’s note: one thing about me is I come back every 6 months, drop a one-shot, and then leave again. Was feeling a bit of seasonal depression today. I don’t enjoy fall as much as the rest of the world, it seems, but here is an autumnal fic to get your spirits going. Masterlist Ko-fi

Fall.

Two take-out cups of piping hot Colombian ground coffee warming up your bare hands, because you thought it was too early for gloves, and the trees standing naked and tall with crusty red leaves blanketing the damp ground beneath your chunky boots. Holding the newspaper in the crook of your elbow, you sigh as you feel rain begin to fall from the grey clouds above. You pick up the pace, striding through the swarms of busy people doing their seasonal shopping, just wanting to get back home dry.

Your wishes weren’t commanded and you stumbled through the front door of your townhouse sopping wet, hair stuck to your face and mascara now three inches down your cheeks. You put the coffee cups on the dining room table along with the newspaper and took off your coat. At some point, Javier came in and sat down at the table. His fingers pinched at the corners of the paper. The pages were ripped and wet and the ink was bleeding into an incoherent smudge on the front page. Javier opened the lid of his coffee and took a sip before immediately scrunching up his face and putting it back on the table. You turned to face your partner, only to be met with his lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed together in disdain. You looked at him, helpless and apologetic.

“What’s wrong now?” You huffed, searching for answers in his empty brown eyes. You were tired of asking the question.

“It’s cold,” He muttered, his eyes not leaving yours as he awaited an explanation like he was owed it. His words are blunt and sharp but you have no choice other than to take his indiscretions on your shoulder.

But instead, you offered him nothing short of a scoff as you emptied the pools of water from your boots.  The storm outside was loud and persisted with long wails and cries. In silence, you sat next to Javier at the table, and in spite, drank your cold coffee.

After a few moments, you smiled to yourself, wanting to lighten the mood and remembering something that you had seen on television a few days ago. “You know, in California, iced coffee is a thing? Yeah, that’s how they prefer to drink it over there.”

Javier grunted in acknowledgement, leaning back on his chair and folding his arms over his chest.

Your eyes flicked between the oak wood dining table, and the way you had set it so beautifully with your fancy China and centrepiece. The empty vase waiting for a fresh bunch of flowers stood tall and was gleaming after you’d spent a good chunk of your day cleaning and polishing it. A single, pumpkin-scented candle flickered in between you and Javier, your gaze fixated on the dancing ember. Finally, you looked back at Javier, who was taking shallow breaths as he awaited you to pay him attention.

When you fail to do so, it causes a problem. “I have to get to the office,” he announced after a few minutes of silence. 

“But it’s a Saturday,” you replied. Ever since Javier got his big promotion, it meant he could do fewer hours and stop working weekends. He hadn’t gone to the office on a Saturday in nearly two years. Javier stood up and put on his leather jacket, the same one he’d kept from the 70s. He still rocked it, of course, but in this climate, it just wasn’t smart. “You’re going to need something warmer than that jacket, you’ll freeze to death.”

You stood up, your chair scraping against the floor, and went to walk to the bedroom, finding a coat for Javier to wear. You picked one out that you knew he hated. It was long and plaid and not his style at all, too ‘modern’, he called it, but it was the only thing that would stop him from catching a cold. You grabbed a pair of gloves and a scarf and walked back out, following him into the hallway. He waited for you and stood leaning against the door frame, looking at the outside world ahead of him.

Sure enough, the storm had cleared up in a matter of minutes and golden rays of sunlight peeked through the now white clouds. Your heart fell, deflated when Javier refused to wear the coat and the scarf you’d picked out for him. 

“The gloves, at least,” you begged him, your eyes wide and glazed with unshed tears that you didn’t realise you were holding back. The air was thick with flaws and indecisions. Javier felt a pang of guilt in his heart when he read your expression and took the gloves from you, shoving them in his jacket pocket, a silent promise that he might just put them on later if he remembered.

“Will you be home for dinner?” You asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” you nodded. Javier placed a chaste kiss atop your head. “I love you.” You promised him, but the words were lost on him.

“See you later,” he replied, before pulling away and walking over to his truck. 

You’d normally watch him get in and drive away but this time, you shut the door before he even stepped off the patio and sauntered into the living room where you slouched onto the couch, hung your head low and closed your eyes. Darkness. You wondered how long you could keep fighting this. You were so tired of giving your all, only to be met with so little appreciation back. What was once the richest of love had turned cold and empty. You gave him endless empathy and he was killing you. 

Javier pulled up outside of Luna Azul, his favourite bar. He hated this. He didn’t like lying to you, but he just needed to get away. He pulled out a cigarette and rested it between his lips, pushing the front door open and immediately taking a seat at the bar. Lighting the cigarette, he took a deep inhale of the nicotine, letting it sting his throat before exhaling. He loved you, he really did. He didn’t remember a point in time when things shifted, he didn’t understand why things had changed so much. You were still his person, his soulmate, he knew he’d never find anyone else like you, but there was just something missing.

“Hey Javi, why the sad face?” Elza, the barmaid asked, already pouring him a whiskey on the rocks, his usual order. “Did someone die?”

Javier feigned a smile before downing his drink. “Rough day.”

“Ah,” Elza said softly. “Trouble in paradise?”

The words made Javier wince. He gestured for another drink, of which Elza promptly poured him. “I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Javi,” Elza frowned. “You deserve better.”

Javi’s frown deepened. He swirled the whiskey as he processed Elza’s words. He really didn’t believe that he deserved better, Hell,  he barely believed that he deserved you, and you were more than good enough. You were perfect. 

And suddenly, for Javier, it all made sense. He was damaged goods. All those years in the DEA, fighting in a war… that’s what had changed Javier. The years of trauma that he’d never confronted… never got help for. He had hidden his feelings, fought his nightmares and pretended like they didn’t bother him. He’d come this far, he wasn’t scared… he couldn’t be scared, he wasn’t allowed to be scared. He had to be strong, brave, get over it. Javier downed his second whiskey, his skin getting white hot as realization gushed over him. Elza filled his glass up with a third, watching the agent intently.

You weren’t the one who changed, he was, and it took him this long to realise. It was all becoming so clear now, how hard you had been trying and how he hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ in six months. Javier’s stomach was in knots, he didn’t know how or why you’d stayed this long when he had given you nothing in return for your efforts. Impulsively, Javier downed the third whiskey. 

Something had to change. He had to change—get better. He knew now that was the only thing that would fix the relationship he’d been taking for granted. He had to go home and apologise. He had to make things right before it was too late. Javier stubbed out the butt of the cigarette and stood up abruptly, only to be met with ruby-red lips crashing down on his hard. Teeth biting down on Javier’s lower lip, Javier let out a small groan. He hadn’t been kissed in so long. But these weren’t your soft, sweet lips. Javier pulled away, eyes widening when he saw Elza standing in front of him with a smirk.

Javier rubbed at his lips in an attempt to wipe away any traces of infidelity. This is not what he wanted or needed right now. He had to get home and fast. Without sparing a single word to Elza, Javier dived out the door and jumped into his pickup truck.

Grey clouds gathered outside as Javier jogged up the driveway, an indication of another storm. You were cooking when Javier arrived home. You were so surprised to hear the front door open as he’d only been gone for half an hour or so. You’d been thinking hard and decided that if tonight wasn’t any different than previous nights then that would be it. You'd be out the door.  The thought of it was soul-crushing because you wanted to marry this man. But you couldn’t take it anymore. Fighting with all your strength and might only to be ignored.

“Hermosa,” Javier greeted, exasperated and breathless. If your eyes weren’t immediately drawn to the remnants of red lipstick on his lips, you might have noticed his tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. He’d been crying all the way home, crying for being so stupid and reckless for all these months, for not taking care of himself, but most importantly, not taking care of you.

Your heart plummeted in your chest and you dropped the wooden spoon that was in your hands. It clattered on the floor, the noise making Javier jump, but you stood there, still and unwavering. Silent tears began to stream down your cheeks and you couldn’t strain your gaze away from your boyfriend who was smelling thick of alcohol and had another woman’s lipstick on his face. That was it.

He had dealt his final blow.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

its been years since I've redone my masterlist so im starting again from scratch. if you see this and want to be added, let me know.

[opalcicle]

If They Call Me a Slut, You Know it Might be Worth it for Once

Ch. 10 Car Fries

Left you sleeping, borrowed some clothes. 😘

I send Bizly the text and a selfie in one of his big t-shirts from the back of the Uber.

It was late afternoon by the time finally I made it out of Biz's place. I'd made myself up some leftover pasta, washed the dishes, and found something to wear. He was still sleeping, butt-naked and sprawled out in his bed when I figured it was time to go.

I start a warm bath and a coffee when I make it back to my apartment. Humming as I prepare for a relaxing day and letting my good mood carry me through the self care. My legs are stiff, and my whole body aches like a bitch, but damn do I feel great. The water in the tub soothes my muscles nicely.

It's late in the day when I finally have the wherewithal to check any messages.

Grizzly

Dude you sooooo owe me a drink next time we're all out. jk. Unless? ????

No but for real we should catch up soon sounds like you've got a lot going on.

me:

Next weekend man, I drank so much last night.

Jaiden

Saw you on the dance floor. Didn't know you knew Tina. 👀

me:

Met her last weekend at Schlatt's. 😊

Hey do you know if she's into girls or like, just having some fun?

Charlie

Still up?

My heart skips a beat seeing his name. I respond without thinking.

me:

Yeah!

Wait I mean no, it's tomorrow now.

But I'm up, what's up?

There's a missed call from him as well, and a voicemail waiting. At the time I recieved it I would have been in Bizly's garage. I hold my breath for a long second, attempting to stave off the guilt creeping through my chest. Then I listen.

"Hey!" He sounds excited, "Hey, hi. I tried to find you tonight but I think you left. So like um. Are we okay? I mean, it seems like we're not, but also I miss talking to you. Dude, I ate a whole thing of fries in the car by myself and man it was weird as hell. Also I'm sorry I said I love you. I know that's like a crazy thing to do. But also, I do love you. You're for real the coolest person ever. We don't have to be together, or like anything at all. But you're my best friend, my ride or died, die? But died rhymes that sounds better. I think we should hang out. Maybe not tomorrow I drank a lot. But yeah I love you, full homo, get fucked about it, peace out, get friend zoned loser. Okay bye. Oh fuck how do I end the-" BZZZ.

Tears form in the corners in my eyes as I laugh from my belly in a way I haven't in at least weeks. I have to listen to it again, and then a third time before I can hear it without losing it a little. Holy shit, I was not gonna let him live this down. There's a reply from him when I'm done with the voicemail.

Charlie

Hey what's up?

Oh I texted you first lol.

me:

Dude you were wasted last night. Left me a spicy voicemail.

Charlie:

I WHAT

me:

How hungover are you? Pick me up for fries tomorrow?

Charlie:

Okay???

Still sore, the laughter hurts my stomach and I need to lay down. Without meaning to, I fall asleep in the coziness of my pillows before the sun had even set. I dream of peaceful nonsense and wake in the middle of the night.

There are more messages from the evening before, and I work on replying to them.

Bizly

Lookin good in my shirt

come back soon and I'll take it off for you

me:

Dude my insides need a break. 😅

Grizzly

Yeah man! Bunch of us are doing kareyoke on Friday if you wanna come.

Caryoke? Karaoke? Idk.

me:

Hell yeah, send me the location.

Jaiden

No idea man, good luck!

me:

Thanks lol

I figured I should say something to Tina too, and really mull over whats gonna sound right. Jaiden seeing us together, and asking me about it, really had me wondering what was up with the pretty girl I've been kissing while drunk. If I really am just someone she wants to kiss at parties, she's definately got the right girl for the job. Maybe she's just nervous for more? Maybe she likes to move a little slower? I settled on something short and simple:

Thanks for inviting me out, had a great time last night. I'd love to see you again soon.

Last night? Was it really just last night?

Since I'm talking to Charlie again I better send him the first edits for the photoshoot we did. Email sent. Okay cool.

Now what? I pace my living room, try to find something to watch, scroll TikTok from various uncomfortable positions on the couch.

Tina, Charlie, and Bizly. Somehow in one night I had gone from no prospects to three suitors. I giggle to myself, suitors was a strange way to put it. Maybe it's all a little too much. Too much making out, too much sex, and way too much in the feelings department.

I let out a heavy sigh as I try to distract myself with various apps. Maybe I need a vacation. Why not? I sit up, excited by the idea. I can edit from my laptop, take a break from streaming. Ah shit streaming, maybe I'd already taken a long enough break. No. No! I deserve a Holliday. Suddenly I'm browsing travel sites, checking flights, looking for sunny beaches and all-you-can eat buffets. What if I find like, an adventure package?

It's the wee hours of the night and I've eaten, gotten ready for bed again, and settled under the covers all while planning out the details for a next-month solo getaway. By the time reservations are made and flights are booked, my heavy eyes sink closed. Before I fall asleep, one fleeting thought, does this count running away?

In the late morning, confirmation emails remind me of my new plans, and the thought of running is long gone. A message from Charlie sits in my notifications while I start my day. I update my discord, "Streaming tonight, 7pm, dunno what we're playing yet," and close the app before replies flood in. Then I check the message.

Charlie

Hey lmk when you're ready

me:

Dude how do you wake up so early?

But yeah, ready anytime.

I feel nerves build as I wait for him to arrive. The new hickies down my neck are a bright red and I debate trying to hide them, but I don't want to lie. I still haven't promised anything to anyone, but hurting Charlie is easily one of the things I've started to hate the most. When he pulls up I have to fight the desire to lock myself into my apartment.

Climbing into his car, a million things go though my mind, and in the last second I decide on finding another new nick name, "Hey Char... lie, no wait that's just your name. I'm running out of these."

He smiles at me awkwardly, hand nervously readjusting his hair. "Hey," is all he says.

"Fries?" I turn the music up as we pull away. It's still the playlist I shared with him. Thankfully the songs fill the space so we don't have to, and inspite of everything neither of us can resist singing a good song. "I'm working late, cause I'm a singer. Boy you look so cute, wrapped round my finger," I sing the part of the song we'd long ago decided was my line.

"Your twisted humour, makes me laugh so often, My honey bee, come and get this pollen," he continues before we both join together for the pre-chorus. Inspite of all the ways I like to bug Charlie, I always let him have the melody when we car duet. He loves showing off in song and I could never deny him that. We do our goofy dance moves and add our weird vocal quirks, and by the time we've made it to the drive through were laughing at eachother uncontrollably. Charlie has to stop and calm himself before we pull up to order.

Down the road, music low again, I make an attempt at normal conversation, "You know I've never asked, are you okay being the one whose always driving us around?"

He glances at me, raw emotion on his face. Fear, or maybe closer to worry, is plain in his eyes. We don't usually do deep conversation. Even me asking him how he feels about something I expect, it's definately off course.

"Y-yeah, its our rhythm, we just do it this way," he replies.

"Hmm," I barely respond, lost in my own thought. It's quiet until I speak again, "I don't ask you how you feel about a lot of things,"

It's not a question, and he doesn't answer. But after awhile he sighs, "Soo.... You saw Bizly again,"

This isn't a question either, but I sigh back, hand darting up to my neck. "I did," there's a sadness in my own voice that I don't dare call attention to.

"That's fine," he says it so quiet.

"Is it?" I hear my own voice demanding the question.

"It's-" he pauses for a long time, "let's go somewhere and talk."

Charlie takes us to a parking spot near some old baseball diamonds. They're mostly empty today. We pick at the fries for an unbearably quiet few minutes.

"I, uh- look if you'd rather be with Biz..." He trails off.

"That's not it," I shake my head. "It's like, just sex,"

"I know. I can't do that," he looks out over the diamonds through his windshield.

"No, Charlie I-" I hear myself getting defensive and take a breath, "I'm not trying to choose between anyone, I don't want him more than you,"

"It's fine-"

"No, listen!" I cut him off, anger showing its head again. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths this time. "I want you Charlie, and I like you, a lot. Not just as friends,"

His head turns to me and he looks confused.

"I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I'm sorry I freaked out. I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you." Tears immediately start falling from my face and I feel like an idiot. Charlie deserves an apology, an explanation, even if it means I have to experience my own emotions. "I'm scared, Char. I don't think I can be what you want- that I can handle something serious again. And now it's out there, now I'm having feelings and you're having feelings and we can't put them back where they came from. It scares me,"

"It's okay," he tries to sooth me, but I'm not having it.

"It's not okay. You're sad. I'm sad. Everything's fucked," my words come out softer now, the anger and frustration disappearing with my confession of fear.

"We really don't talk about our feelings," he says, looking back out the front window, "I guess this was going to boil over at some point,"

Coldness creeps over my skin as I anticipate him saying he doesn't want to see me again. Instead he takes my hand. We sit there, and he lets me cry. It's uncomfortable, but it's a start. If we've got all these stored up emotions, they have to come out somehow.

"I've been scared too, I don't want to lose you," he says when my tears slow.

"I'm not going anywhere," then I remember the vacation I booked, "except actually, I've got a trip coming up in about six weeks, and I think like maybe, that also counts a little bit as running away." I look at him and smile, exaggerating my discomfort in a toothy grin.

He laughs. This fucker looks at me and laughs. I start to laugh too, doubling over in his car until I have to catch my breath.

"Oh my god, you're so dramatic," he teases.

"You're the weirdo who likes me," I poke fun right back.

As the scarier feelings subside for us both, he asks, "What now?"

"I think maybe we talk about it more," my face scrunches at the thought, "but like later, because I haven't done this whole communication thing in years, and I missed you, and I want to make you listen to the message you left me,"

"Oh gaawwd," he groans, "I was hoping you forgot about that.

"It's really sweet, and I want to make you blush again," I wink at him before pulling up my voicemail.

As he listens his face and ears get red and I watch him in adoration. There really is no going back now. We've opened the door to something strange and new, and will just have to see where it takes us.

I can't help but laugh as the voicemail ends. "Full homo?" I ask.

"Shut uuuup," he complains, shoving fries in his mouth.

"It's cute. Made me laugh," I take a fry as well. "Charlie, I-" it's hard to say the words. The red in his face is still present, making it so easy to look at him. I lean over the center console and kiss him softly in the cheek. "Me too, full homo,"

The blush creeps up his ears and an easy, goofy smile lights up his face. He turns quickly to look at me and the moment feels so right, so much like us. He kisses me softly, slowly. I kiss him back. The heat starts to build between us and I pull away before it can get any further.

"Third time's the charm?" He says it lightly.

"Hmm?" The kiss transfered his blush to my cheeks. I was bright red as well.

"For a first kiss? Third time's the charm,"

"Yeah, Charlie, third time's the charm." I lean back in the passenger seat with a little grin as he pulls the car out and drives off.

[moonlight-sonata99]

Walk The Line

No.4

Carmy Berzatto x reader

A/n: I'm finally getting an idea of where I want this to go!!! Well, I already had an idea,of where I wanted it to go but I was unsure, now I know^-^

It was 4:30 in the morning, Why the fuck you were awake?, you'll dont know. Silently staring out at the cars that went by as you drank your coffee, as you look out, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. 

"Ah shit." answering the phone "Ritchie, it's way too damn early for you to be reminding me of work" 

"Ritchie?" The voice repeats confused on the other line, your eyebrows furrow realizing it's not ritchie.

"Sorry? who is this? " You ask, a confused look on your face. 

"Uh- me, Sunny. Your sister?" She awkwardly explains,

"Oh," you breathe out, "Sorry, i uhm,i wasn't expecting this." 

"no, no it's okay, " She replies "Sorry nobody has called you. " She says quietly.  

"Yea..uh-its okay" you assure. "So what's up…?"

" Uh… not much y'know? just been working." She breathes out,nodding as you listen. 

"Everyone misses you." Sunny adds, and you can sense a smile on her face.

"really? " you say not really convinced,

"Yea" 

"hm…" 

"You don't believe me?" Chuckling she asks again, "You don't"

"Not one bit" you state as she laughs,

after that it gets quiet.

"Uhm… he's been - Well, we've been going to therapy, y'know?" She says softly, awaiting your answer.

your breath hitches for a second as you remove the phone from your ear to retrieve your thoughts. 

"Really?" you ask in a low voice.  

"Yeah"

 "and how's that going for you?" you ask looking back outside the window.

"Well- it's a lot of crying." She says laughing  "They really miss you, y'know, " Sunny pauses before adding "he"

"So, how's everyone else ?" you murmur hearing her sigh on the other line.

Sighing, you run hard through your hair, only letting silence ring. 

"hey uh i gotta get to work," you explain, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Good, busy but good. annoying as always. Our brothers, I mean." She says, beginning to laugh, chuckling, and you look at the clock.

"No yea,dealing with those must annoying as hell"

"Yea," she replies, chuckling as you look at the clock, realizing what time it was

"No, yeah, i'll let you go," She says  "ma says you're working in a restaurant. Is that true? "

"yea, it's true." Smiling, you look down 

"How is that?" Sunny ask, 

" busy as hell." You chuckle." Anyways, yea gotta go" 

"yo- im gonna need help with these chickens!" You yell, taking out a tray of chicken to cook, 

"Alright, be careful bye," Sunny says as she ends the call. "You're left there sitting in the darkness of your living room."

6 AM

" Anywhos available help put the chickens Please !" Carmy yells as he looks at the endless amount of orders coming through the small machine, 

"Yes, chef, " Tina responds, grabbing another tray as you leave the oven door open for her. as you look at the  Chaos starting to brew.

"Fuck, this isnt good," you mumble to time as he she glances up and you two walk to get more trays.

"Chef messed up on the tablet, i think," She said, gritting her teeth, lifting up another tray as you follow Suit, 

" Let's just do what we need to do, Carmy's losing his shit. " You mumble and open the oven door,

" get THE FUCK OFF MY EXPO! CHEF NOW" Carmy screams echo through the restraint as you turn to look at him. And sydney walks off with an "yes chef"

Turning your gaze to Tina's, you both return to your respective task. 

"Okay, 20 Chickens are Cooking," you shout, turning to look at Tina. Can you handle the rest? i've gotta get on those beefs. " You huff out. " They are prepped ready to go," you explain, and Tina nods, and you scurry off to put the beef in Jus

Putting the beef in jus you look to tina Who's talking to sydney whos currently freaking the fuck out. 

"holy fucking shit…" you mumble looking out to the chaotic, a cold feeling in your Chest as your gaze lands on Carmy whos in the Screaming, his face red and you stand there looking at him, As approaches him with a roll at hand.  

" Oh no marcus… " you mumble, turning away, finishing up the beefs you turn to look at tina. "These chicken good to go?" You ask, straightening your apron  as she looks at you 

"We don't have any more!" She says as you nod.

" It's okay, it's okay. " You breathe "fuck me…"

"Fuck me!" 

"20 more Chickens to fire" 

" We don't have any more " 

 "fucking find them!"

9 pm

"That was….. fucking something, "you murmur, eyes lidded go you leaned your back on the wall. Carmy scoffed as he sat next to you doing the same.

"Yea." he breathed out, leaning his head back."You Uh heard from marcus?"

"No," you reply as he nods his head. "He'll come around,"  you mumble, closing your eyes and adding to the silence.

"Sorry for the way i acted today, Chef," 

Turning your head towards him, you force your eyes open, taking in his words. 

"You're good." 

It's not often that people apologize for their actions in person.  His words came as a surprise. But... you liked that.

"So… "fuck me?" He asked with a small smile, your heart stopped for a split second before realizing what he meant. 

"Huh? Oh- you heard that." laughing, you fixed your posture. "We were out of chickens !" you guy laughing "i literally had to run to the nearest grocery Store and buy a cart full of chicken." 

 "I know, thank you," Carmy says, chuckling. Settling down you look up.

"Stupid fucking chicken " you mumble closing your eyes and 

Crossing your arms for extra warmth. Carmy's sits next to you, relaxing and lighting up a cigarette.

"and you? how are you? " You whisper, eyes still close causing carmy to stop in his tracks.

"me?"

"Yeah you. Who else? "you reply, opening your eyes slightly. As he turns to look at you, " you were freaking out, I mean- with how much that machine was spewing out?oof. I would have too."

He takes a moment to reply,

"Okay," he replies simply as you give him a "Really?' look "Tired, yeah" he adds running his hands over his face.

"That's better," you say, struggling to keep your eyes open, and he draws in a breath with his cigarette.

"Take the night off" he states as he looks at you,

" I would love that, but there's too much for just you," you reply, shaking away the exhaustion from you. Before he can say anything else, you stand up dusting off any dirt on yourself.

"Whatever you say, Chef," he says, dropping his cigarette and stepping on it before you two walk back to work.

Hours later you two find each other sitting against the kitchen counter cleaner, sleeping shoulder to shoulder after cleaning the restaurant.

The next day of your felt your shoulder be tapped, and you open your eyes,

"Ah shit…" you groan as you get up and rub your eyes.Hearing chuckles from the front of the restaurant. as you walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"RITCHIE YOU FUCK ! "

Falling asleep in the restaurant wasn't the best idea, you thought, trying your best to rub out the tiny little dicks on your face.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

Goodbye Don't Last Forever

Javey. Kind of funny ngl. Enjoy.

David Jacobs was eighteen and newly graduated when his girlfriend, Francis Sullivan, left for Santa Fe, leaving no goodbye and no way to contact her.

David went crazy when she left. He loved her and she left without a word to him. He made some stupid (but not too regrettable) decisions in the time after. Dyed his dirty blonde hair a dark shade of brown. Started wearing his glasses again. Went outside only when required (as in almost never). Stopped talking to many of his friends.

Only two of the habits died, and fortunately it was those last two. He found himself to be pretty fine within a few months of her being gone.

Six years later, David Jacobs was 24 years old and getting a new roommate.

"Hi, are you David?" A confident voice came from behind him.

He turned to face- woah he's hot- the person asking the question.

"Yeah, yes, that's me. David Jacobs. Hi."

The man smiled and held out a hand to shake.

"Jack Kelly."

Those eyes... that handshake. So familiar. But the familiarity was out of reach in David's mind.

So he stood up a little straighter, smiled back, and said, "Nice to meet you in person finally. I mean I trusted Albert enough to not find me a serial killer roommate but... I feel very assured now, haha..."

"I won't kill ya, Davey."

Davey...

"Good to know. Same here. Do you need help taking anything up?"

Jack shook his head. "All I's got is this." He nodded to a moderately sized suitcase that he was gripping.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't-"

"It's nothing, Dave. I just had to leave kinda quickly and didn't have much anyways."

"Well, uh. Let me uh... I guess, follow me?"

...

David was down bad for his roommate. And, down bad as in like, Taylor Swift "if I can't have him/I might just die it would make no difference."

Something about him, Jack, felt so familiar in all the most wonderful ways. His smile was a smile David felt like he had seen dozens of times.

David wanted to know why. He wanted to know why this boy felt so natural in the environment. Why he seemed to be the missing piece in David's life.

He was going to find out.

Not today though, he decided, when Jack entered the apartment looking like he was about to burst into tears.

"Hey, are you okay?" David asked slowly.

Jack nodded stiffly, putting his head down and throwing his bag and coat to the floor.

"Jack, you look sad."

"I'm fine."

"Jack."

"I ain't- you don't gotta be all in my business." Jack was heading to his tiny bedroom, so David grabbed his arm to stop him.

"You can tell me, you know?"

Jack leaned forward, hugging David, beginning to cry.

"Woah, hey. Hey, it's alright, let it out..." David wished Jack would hug him more often, and not while crying.

Jack continued to cry for maybe three minutes, David didn't know exactly. What David did know is that when Jack made eye contact with him, he looked like he had done something horrible.

"I ain't a real boy, Dave."

David's heart could have shattered just then, hearing Jack sound so broken.

"What do you mean, you aren't a real boy?"

"I wasn't- I'm not- I am a boy. I know and promise that I am but I just- wasn't born that way and I feel like a fraud and I get sad sometimes."

"That's okay to be sad, Jack. But you're a boy, I know you are. If you say you're a boy, you're a boy. No, how old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Okay, Jack Kelly, you are no boy, you're a freakin' man."

Jack smiled a little, wiping his eyes dry.

"Thank ya, Davey."

...

David was having none of this "stay up until 3 AM painting" bullshit.

"Jack Kelly, you will start going to bed at a decent time or so help me-"

"I'm fine, Dave!" Jack defended himself.

"You drank four coffees today and three energy drinks. I don't even know how you're still alive!"

"Fine, fine. I will be in bed no later than midnight."

"Is that the best I'm gonna get?"

"Yup."

David sighed, deciding to give in.

"At least show me what you've been working on into the ungodly hours of the night?"

"Maybe someday." Jack smiled mysteriously and disappeared once again into his room.

David was not staring at his fine ass as he retreated. He wasn't.

...

"Davey, do you got any food?"

David was regretting getting a roommate but also enjoyed having someone around. He didn't appreciate having to buy random shit every other week because Jack had a craving and pretty much no money. (He spent his money on rent and art supplies, which David didn't mind because his apartment was cheaper and Jack's art was amazing.)

"We have fruit snacks and spaghetti-o's if that qualifies as food. We might also have a banana."

Jack strolled into the kitchen area after David's previous statement and pulled out a packet of fruit snacks, a can of spaghetti-o's, and the blender.

"What the fuck are you doing?" David asked, shocked and amused all at once.

"I'm making me some dinner, you want some?"

"Jack, there is no way in Hell you are going to eat- drink spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks put through the blender. It's gonna be terrible."

"Actually, no it isn't. My old friend dared me to do it and it actually tastes good."

David had a brief memory flash through his mind.

"Francis! I dare you to put the two most different things you can think of in the blender and then drink it." Race shouted.

"Okay, I'll do it." Francis smiled that daredevil smile of hers and got started. Spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks.

When it was complete, Francis took a long drink.

"Wow. That's actually not terrible."

"Davey, you good?"

David nodded. "Sorry, just. You just reminded me of something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Ex-girlfriend."

"Thought you said you're gay?"

"She kind of helped me out on discovering that."

"Well. That's nice of her. How so?"

"Uh. It's a long story."

"I bet I can handle it. Besides, I have an abomination to drink. I'll listen."

"Oh. Okay. Well. Basically, she decided she was going to Santa Fe and wasn't going to, you know, say goodbye to me or anyone. And I spent a long time angry and then realized I didn't really miss her romantically at all and just was pissed, and then me and my friend Albert accidentally fucked when we were drunk and I was like 'wow that's allowed?' and anyways uh Al and I aren't and weren't interested in each other at all, we were just drunk like I said, but then it all made sense why I wasn't like, sad over the 'love of my life' leaving because it was just a high school girlfriend and I'm not even into girls. So I'm not even mad at her anymore really I'm just gay and confused and I've talked a lot now sorry."

David looked up at Jack for a reaction. He was wearing this face... David could not name the emotion.

"What was her name?"

Huh. Weird question.

"Why?"

"Well, I was just wonderin' if maybe I met her, since I's come here from Santa Fe and all."

"Oh. Yeah, uh. Her name's Francis Sullivan."

"Have a picture?"

"Yeah, one sec." David scrolled through his phone's camera roll until he found her. "Here."

The picture made Jack frown, and David kind of would have done anything to make him smile again.

"You know her?" David asked.

"Yeah, uh. I knew her."

David's heart sped up.

"Really? Is she doing okay? Is she alright? Do you know where she lives, cause I might need to go-"

"Davey. Stop."

"What?"

"You can't exactly go visit her."

"Why not?"

Jack seemed to be looking inside himself instead of at David when he spoke.

"She was... the real depressed type, Dave. Always sad. She never smiled, I don't think. She was in a real bad state of mind."

"What're you-"

"She ain't alive no more."

Everything stopped in David's head.

"What?"

"I'm real sorry, Dave. She just ain't... But I'm here."

"What's that supposed to mean? 'You're here?'"

Jack hesitated before opening his mouth. "She didn't exactly... die the way you're thinking. She, uh. She just... more... changed? She ain't Francis anymore. She cut her hair and went on T and got top surgery and goes by a boy's name now, and he/him. So, uh, tellin' ya she died was probably not the brightest idea but that was an in-the-moment decision."

"Good for him. What does that have to do with you being here?"

Jack made absolute eye contact with David, wondering how he could be so fucking stupid, and held it. Held it as he crossed the room and held it up until the moment he pulled David into a hug.

"I'm sorry for leavin' you. I just had ta get away."

David jerked away from Jack in a quick movement.

"You? You're... You- I can't-" David's brain was moving too quickly and all he could think to do was punch Jack in the face as hard as humanly possible.

Which he did.

"Son of a bitch- Dave! I only told ya cause I thought you said ya weren't mad anymore!"

"Yeah, well. Now I am, asshole. You... You deep friend burnt-ass dino nugget dickhead. You absolute.... I can't even. How dare you? I fucking loved you, yes even if I'm gay now, and you, you just ran the fuck off and never bothered contacting me for six years. I would have understood if you needed to leave, needed to leave me, needed... whatever. I would have given you your space. I hate you."

Jack looked hurt. It made David feel good. All that pain he went through and it was being passed on.

"Davey-"

"David."

"Right, sorry. David. I'm really sorry. I don't- I never meant ta hurt you. To be honest, I thought you'd be glad if I left and never came back."

David felt less good.

"I just- I wanted to feel like I could be free. It didn't really... go as planned. Because I just realized I wanted to come back. Mostly for you."

David didn't stop to think. David just kissed Jack like he was hungry for it.

"I fucking hate you." He said, pulling away.

"No you don't."

"Don't test your luck."

A small moment of touching silence passed.

"So..." Jack started. "You slept with Al?"

"Now I actually do hate you. Get out, I'm calling him. Maybe he'll be nice to me."

"Davey... I love you. I always did."

"I'm... good to know. I can't- I'm still mad, bitch."

Jack just laughed, and he knew right then that it would all be fine.

A/N: hope y'all liked it :) It'll be on ao3 asap

[apocalypseornaw]

Prove It (Pt 4/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean comes to Alicia's and the two of you talk. He begins to plan a redo of your anniversary to make it up to you

Warnings: cursing, mention of a person being killed

The drive from the bunker to Alicia's place would normally take about eight hours give or take but Dean managed to make it in five. His fingers drummed the steering wheel as he turned off the road onto her drive. Sam glanced at him sideways from the passenger seat “Just take a breath Dean. She just needed some space but she called you that means she's not as mad as she was” 

Dean shook his head “I'm not worried about her being mad, I'm worried about the fact that I hurt her. What if this was a final straw deal? What if she figures out she can do so much better than me? What if she just didn't want to break things off over the phone?” 

Sam shook his head “Dean she loves you. I know you hurt her, hell I even managed to hurt her in this because I took her for granted too but she loves you and you love her. You've made mistakes yeah but you're human man. She gets that, don't overthink just tell her why you wanted to grab a drink and calm your nerves a bit before driving. Tell her what she means to you. She's meeting you halfway by calling” 

Dean nodded slowly, Sam was right. That didn't stop his brain from offering him every single bad scenario that could happen when he parked next to your car and took a deep breath before climbing out the car.

 

In the last four hours you'd taken a forty five minute nap, gotten Alicia to braid your hair and drank half a pot of coffee.

You were currently pacing a hole in the floor while carrying her cat in your arms. The cat was purring in contentment so it was giving you something to keep your mind off the fact that Dean was on his way.

Alicia eventually stepped in front of you to stop your repetitive movements. When you came to a stop she smiled gently and took the cat from your arms, sitting it gently down on the couch. “Sweetie, just take a breath. That man worships the ground you walk on. He'd do damn near anything for you and I know how much you love him. Just calm down”

The moment she got through speaking the rumble of the impala engine hit your ears. She grabbed your hand “C'mon. I'll walk out with you and if Sam's with him we'll give you two the porch for some privacy”

—-------

You walked out onto the porch and froze at the same moment Dean froze on the top doorstep. Alicia and Sam exchanged a knowing look before Sam said “Alicia, got some coffee or something?” She nodded and led him inside.

—-------

Dean couldn't take his eyes off you, only a few days had passed since he saw you but it felt like so much longer. “Hey sweetheart” a small smile flickered to your lips when he spoke “Hey baby”

—-------

You stood there for a second looking at him, God he always had the same effect on you. He was wearing that gray henley you always loved stealing, the stubble lining his jaw told you he hadn't shaved since two days before you left and he looked tired but he was here, right in front of you and any of the remaining anger you'd felt when you left the bunker quickly dissolved. 

“God I've missed you” you blurted out before launching yourself into his arms. He caught you without a second thought, wrapping both arms around you. “Sweetheart I am so sorry” he spoke into your hair as he held you. You nodded trying to swallow down the urge to cry. You leaned back enough to look up at him “We can talk about it, I want to talk and need to know what happened but can you please just kiss me first”

“Fuck yes” he mumbled before crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was gentle but passionate, his mouth lingering against yours in a way that made your knees weak. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against yours “I love you” you smiled “I love you too”

—-----------

After a moment you took a deep breath then stepped out of his arms. His face fell a bit but he watched your every movement. “How did you forget?” You asked and he looked like you would've hurt him less by hitting him. “I'm an idiot?” Your jaw clenched at his words “Don't do that. Don't talk down about yourself like that Dean you know I hate it”

A hint of a smile played at his lips “You're always so quick to defend me, even when I mess up” you crossed your arms over your chest before saying “That's because I love you, hell I've defended you and Sam both for as long as I've known the two of you because you are good men. You're a good man Dean, you're a good boyfriend. I know you love me, I've never doubted that but sitting there waiting for you only to find out you're at a bar? That fuckin hurt Dean!”

—-------

Dean's heart flipped hearing you say he was a good man. No other person on earth's opinion would have mattered to him at that moment. He nodded because he knew it had hurt you he hated that it hurt you “We lost someone on the hunt” 

Your face softened at his words “Why didn't you tell me?” He motioned around Alicia's porch then shrugged “It wasn't losing someone as much.I'm used to it but she was your height, your build and had your hair color. She was torn apart. I couldn't even see her face. It was so bad and all I could think of was you. The fact that being with me puts a target on your back, I invite pain and loss by being in someone's life…”

He trailed off and you started to reach for him but he shook his head because he wasn't done “I guess I started to spiral a bit. Old insecurities popped up, I just needed to catch my breath before coming home. I didn't mean to forget and I would never purposely hurt you but sweetheart coming home to you gone? That damn near broke me. I can't lose you, please don't leave me again” his breath came out ragged and you were across the porch before he could draw another breath pulling him into your arms.

“I'm not leaving you ever Dean” you promised and he held you tight. He had to make it up to you, a do-over for your anniversary. He'd figure it out tomorrow but for tonight you were in his arms. 

@starkleila @fluff-lover @lacilou @suckitands33 @lyarr24 @decadentstrangernacho @nix-rose @irgendwas122 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @tas898

[sickiesope]

Energy boost

Sickie: Taehyung

Caretaker: Jungkook

TW: emeto

Taehyung woke up tired today. He didn't sleep the best and just feels overall sluggish. Taehyung can usually hide that he's tired and is good at covering up his yawning in public. But he just hates that feeling weighing him down. They're filming a short dance number for army today and he needs a lot of stamina.

Taehyung doesn't like coffee at all and doesn't understand how Yoongi can drink so much of it. He can't stand the smell or the taste. He's trying to think of another quick fix and wound up buying an energy drink. It's strawberry flavored so he figured he'd try it.

"Since when do you drink energy drinks?" Yoongi teases.

"It tastes better than that burnt hot bean water" Taehyung sasses playfully.

"Maybe, but coffee doesn't make you crash like those do" Yoongi smirks.

Taehyung found it tasted pretty sweet; a little too sweet from what's he's used to but he drank half of it and already feels a little more perky. It gives him more hope about the day. When finished his stomach feels.. weird. He drank that pretty fast. His stomach gurgles with the fizzy drink bubbling up. He burps and pauses for a minute. He feels the caffeine kicking in and rushes to get prepared.

The guys stand in position and Taehyung tries to stay still. He's all jittery and his stomach keeps going off. He doesn't know if anyone else can hear it and palms it cautiously.

"Everyone in place!"

The music starts playing and the choreography is fast pace. Taehyung's body keeps up with the movements but he regrets having that energy drink. The liquid swishes and sloshes inside his stomach with each jump and turn. It feels like his stomach is a bottle being shaken and bubbling up, ready to go off. But he can't stop now, they're halfway through the song. Then his stomach burbles and Taehyung stumbles and hiccups, almost tripping.

"Cut!" They all stop and look at him.

"Tae, why'd you stop?" Hoseok asks.

Taehyung wants to say his stomach hurts but doesn't want to throw off the day. He already messed up and doesn't want people getting mad at him. "I-I'm fine--" *he burps mid sentence.* Taehyung covers his mouth, flustered.

They all look at him strange. Yoongi is looking with concern. That wasn't exactly a small sized can he chugged.

"Ugh, sorry.. I'm sorry, I can keep going." Taehyung says quickly. He just wants to get through this.

"Hmm okay, let's try again" Hoseok gestures them to walk back to starting position. Taehyung puts a fist to his mouth and descretely burps again. He wants to think it helps but isn't sure. His stomach feels queasy and he worries he'll throw up instead. The cameras are going again and he definitely doesn't want that.

On the second take Taehyung isn't as fast, his stomach hurts with all the movements and sloshing. His body can't handle it and his stomach lurches. Taehyung hiccups again and bends over, holding his abdomen. Suddenly he belches and his stomach opens the floodgates, spewing out a fast large wave. 

"Whoa Tae!" Jimin and Jungkook jump back, they were closest to him and just missed getting splashed. Taehyung can't say anything as his stomach is still forcing out it's contents.

The music stops and everyone is shocked at what just happened. Namjoon waves at the staff to stop the cameras and the members run to Taehyung. Taehyung falls to his knees clutching his middle. He sighs in disbelief but his stomach cuts him off with another hard retch. He pants and looks at the pink puddle on the floor. "Ugh, why did I have that?" Taehyung mutters.

Yoongi looks at the young vocalist sympathetically. "It's okay Tae, it could've happened to anyone."

Taehyung feels ridiculous and thought forsure they would scold him but everyone was benevolent and understanding.

-------

Taehyung wasn't thrilled about the car ride back. His stomach's still complaining after all that vomiting. He tries to rub it but he's so tired. Whenever the car hits a bump or a turn his stomach gurgles, making him moan quietly.

"Awwh hyung, that drink really upset your tummy huh?" Jungkook put his hand on Taehyung's stomach. Taehyung just nods as his sick stomach churns. Jungkook wants to help it and starts rubbing lightly "how does this feel?"

Taehyung hums approvingly, letting JK take over. The maknae's hands feel so nice. Taehyung yawns and leans on Jungkook closing his eyes. He's crashing. Jungkook looks and smiles fondly, shifting a bit to make it more comfortable.

[luneesv]

Before everything | Joel Miller

╰┈➤ Joel Miller x M!Reader

[ english isn't my first language ]

You are an old friend of Joel, you remember the old days with him and Sarah during a cold morning, you remember the night when you fell in love with him.

The sun had just risen and you were alone, you were making coffee to warm up. Ellie and Joel weren't awake yet, you were alone and you felt a little bad after the events of Bill and Frank. You felt like you missed out on a part of your life because of the pandemic, but also because you never took the first step to ask Joel out. You loved him since the beginning, since you knew him when he lived with Tommy and Sarah.

You remembered the day when you met him, he had just come home from work in the night and he had a problem with his car, you helped him because he looked exhausted and to be honest, he made you feel sorry for him.

- hey do you need help ? you told him.

- uh.. no, well yes I do but I don't think you can help me.

You gave him an amused look before pushing him to repair the engine of his car, for you finding the problem was something obvious.

- I am a mechanic, you tell him while cleaning your hands with a cloth that was lying around, and I'm (y/n).

- I'm Joel, uh.. thanks man. He said visibly embarrassed by your gesture, he was clearly not good with people.

You smiled at him, you had just arrived in the neighborhood and you were afraid of not getting along with people but luckily you had found yourself someone interesting and rather attractive.

- So.. see you tomorrow ? You said.

- Yea I guess, he said vaguely, but my daughter is sleeping considering what time it is, and i need to clear my mind, you want a drink, in a bar ?

Your heart almost gave out at that moment, you nodded and you two, you had gone to the nearest bar, during the journey you were talking about your life, he was telling you about his daily life with his daughter and his brother, how much he loved them and what he would do everything for them, and you told him about your life before you came here and told it, a banal and morose life.

You had arrived and your heart was just beating, you sat down at the bar and he ordered two whiskeys for you. He only stared at you with his eyes, his expression remained expressionless as you told him a joke, but his eyes. You stared into his eyes, those brown eyes that made you want to dive in and to kiss him.

The drinks arrived and he started to drink his whiskey before ordering another, you barely drank your drink when your throat burned. You couldn't stand alcohol.

The more you drank, the more he opened up to you, he spoke more. He was just staring at you and at a time when the people was starting to go home, the light was getting less bright and that a romantic atmosphere was beginning to be felt.

- You are really handsome (y/n), he said maybe too loudly since the barman suddenly turned towards you, I'm telling you this as a man to man, I really want to kiss you, but it's weird, I've never felt that for a man.

Your heart was hurting you so much it was beating so hard, he put his hand on your shoulder before massaging it and bursting out laughing.

- I just can't stop thinking about your arm, glistening with motor oil, I swear you obsess me.

- Joel, you're.. you're drunk maybe you should stop talking. You said, your heart beating.

He shook his head, then his hand that was on your shoulder landed on your face, as well as his other hand that landed on your other cheek, forcing you to look at him.

- But (y/n) since I met you, I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm confused 'cause i'm.. i'm not gay ? Well I've never been attracted to a guy, even in porn I only watch the girl, but you.. I swear you're a..

He stopped talking and he kissed you. You were lost, confused, everything was happening so fast, you had known him for so little time and yet you wanted to kiss him too.

But you pushed him away, still today you don't know why but at that time you thought you were doing a good thing.

- Joel, please let me take you home, you drank too much, you... you're just talking nonsense..

He gave you a sad look before getting up.

- You're right, maybe I'm just drunk.. But I still love you so much..

You got up before putting his arm around your shoulders to lift him, he staggered and was only humming your name, in the middle of the night, with only the light of the street lamps to illuminate his face. Your heart kept beating thinking about what he just did.

- It's.. it's here, he said pointing at his house before opening it, trying for about ten minutes because he obviously forgot how to open a door.

He turned around, looking at you, face to face. He had an indescribable look on his face.

- Please love, come with me in my bed, you won't regret it.

At that moment, you're still wondering why you chose to refuse, to watch his door close behind Joel who looked disappointed. Even then you knew you had made a mistake.

The next day, you saw him in the morning, he was drinking his coffee, wearing the same pants as yesterday but with a white tank top.

- Hello Joel ! You said happy to see him again.

- Oh.. hello (y/n). He tells you, a shameful look on his face.

- Are you okay ? You know after yesterday's night haha.

- About that, I was drunk yesterday, I didn't know what I was saying, I... forget everything. Sorry if I gave you false hopes but.. you are not what I am looking for. I'm actually looking for nothing..

You looked at him, still planted in front of him, the heart which had stopped beating. You wanted him to tell you that he was laughing, that he still loved you, as much as last night. You wanted him to take you in his arms. You wanted to go back and come to his house, come with him to his bed. But even now you wondered if he would have had the same reaction.

- I mean.. of course. You were drunk, and you were certainly confused, but you know, if you want tonight we can have dinner together if you're free, because-

His door had just opened and a girl had just come out of the house looking at her father and then at you.

- Hi ! You're the new neighbor ? Finally one that isn't old! You're my father's age right? You look a little younger than him tho-

- Sarah.

- Sorry dad.. She said, a smile on the lips.

- Yes I am haha. And I think so ? I love your outfit ! You are really very pretty.. Sarah that's it ? You said smiling at her.

- Thanks ! And yes it's Sarah, she answered you before to turn to her father, can he eat breakfast with us ?

Joel gave him a vague look before looking at you, but this time you could spot sadness or maybe shame in his eyes, which yesterday made you feel like a king.

- No, he was going to leave when you arrived.

You didn't understand anything, and you still hoped that he would change his mind, that he would tell you that he still loved you, that it hadn't changed. You wanted everything to go back to how it was last night.

- That's right, bye Sarah, and bye Joel.. See you soon. You said, walking back home, hands shaking.

After that day, luckily, you often came to their house, to help Sarah with her homework or fix things, but it was just an excuse to see Joel again. He seemed less cold with you but never again did he have a romantic gesture towards you. You bottled up these feelings for so long..

When the pandemic arrived, when Sarah died and when Joel lost everything, you were there for him. He couldn't sleep for days and one night, he came to see you, he lay down next to you and he fell asleep, taking you in his arms. You pretended to sleep but you were well aware. Your heart had started beating again. And you felt his calming down. The morning after, he didn't leave, he didn't pretend, he just cried, and you hugged him. For 30 minutes you were glued to each other, for half an hour, the infected, the bombardments, the pandemic, everything was not important.

After that night and morning, Joel started to act as if nothing had happened.

Sometimes you regret not having broached the subject, but also for not having stayed with him that night when he begged you to come with him in his bed.

He was the first to wake up and scare you. Removing you from your memories.

- Good morning (y/n).

You turn back to him, who decided to sit down across from you, staring longingly at your coffee.

- Good morning, Joel, you want some ?

- Yea. You were thinking of something ?

You gave him a thoughtful look, you passed him your coffee thermostat and decided after all these years to finally talk to him.

- Yea, I was thinking of us.

--

hii thank you sm for reading my one shot ! it's my first one and I hope you liked it <3 Anyway have a great day or night !

[snicketstrange]

Untie My Silence Knot -Chapter 10 - Lemony, you are so finished.

From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives for ever; That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea.

Algernon Charles Swinburne.

If you are interested in reading a story with a happy ending, I'm sorry for you. I also apologize to you for just alerting you in the last chapter. This was not a story that had a happy beginning, nor did it have a happy ending, let alone have happy things during the middle of it. However, nothing is so bad that it can't be made worse, so I would say this is a story about how I can prevent something worse from happening.

I could begin with an unfortunate recording made by a device hidden in a fireproof tea utensil. Or I could put in this chapter just one document I found inside a top hat that was stored in a secret submerged library. Or I could describe the report of a certain specialist who is a friend of Lemony Snicket. Instead, I'm going to start this chapter by describing my meeting with a certain person at the Cafe where I work.

The person in question was draped in a crimson shawl, its edges adorned with long, delicate feathers that seemed to flutter with each subtle movement. The person had ordered a black and bitter coffee. I realized that the person had a large female handbag that should fit a lot of mysterious things. The person was sitting in the most private part of the Cafe, exactly where I had attended the meeting where I got Lemony Snicket's unauthorized autobiography. A few minutes passed, and a man with an overcoat and a hat entered the Cafe. He looked concerned. He sat on the counter, next to the barista. I went to take his order quickly. He ordered a root beer float. Meanwhile, the person with the long shawl called for a waiter. I saw the person delivering something to him. I handed the man the root beer float in his overcoat and quickly intercepted the waiter.

"I don’t know why I had to disguise myself as a waiter", Lisa murmured with a hint of frustration, "when I could have been a waitress instead."

I smiled at her.

Do you think it has already taken effect? - I asked Lisa.

You read the book … Are you controlling the time?

Yes, I am.

So I went to the table where the person with the shawl was sitting. The person looked at me with make-up eyes and a mouth with bright red lipstick.

Who are you? - The person asked me.

My name is Beatrice Baudelaire. - I replied looking into the person's eyes.

It's a pleasure to meet someone who has the same name as me. It's quite a coincidence.

I don't think it's a coincidence. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny gave me these names in honor of their mother. - I saw a flicker of surprise cross the person's face, their lips twitching slightly.

I would love to understand how this happened, miss, but I need to meet that gentleman who is sitting right there.

Was your coffee bitter enough? - I asked.

The person stared at the cup, eyes widening in dawning horror.

Today you will only meet with me. And tomorrow, when the effect of the tea I added to your coffee is over, you'll meet the police.

What are you talking about? - The person tried to get up and move his arms and failed.

"Botanical Poisons and Their Applications." I found a copy of this book in the last library I was in. Also, when I first arrived in the City, I was at Mr. Snicket's apartment. From there I spotted a lot in which there were several unusual plants. I realized that there had been a fire in that place at some point in the past. Only when I spent more time in the city I realized that the Royal Gardens were there. And by the force of fate, the plants that rose from the ashes were the ones that stayed in the Poisonous Pavilion. I was there, and I collected some of the plants that I made the tea you drank mixed with your coffee. One of the plants causes progressive paralysis, and the other makes you more susceptible to just telling the truth.

Lemony …

Lemony is right there, I know … He's not going anywhere. Soon he will feel a strange sleep and will take a nap right there where he is sitting. When he wakes up, he and I will have a long conversation. But now, it's our turn to talk. And you're going to clear him of the charge of being an arsonist.

I took out my electronic recording device, which was in my pocket. I pressed the REC key.

I'll tell you a story. And you're just going to confirm or deny what I'm saying. The person's eyes glazed over, their voice flat and emotionless, as if trapped in a hypnotic trance. I now understood how Dr. Orwell must feel.

Your real name is Bertrand Baudelaire,’ I said, watching his eyes for a flicker of recognition. ‘You killed a woman named Violetta. Am I right?’ His gaze faltered.

Yes. "You set fire to the Baudelaire mansion and made the authorities think it was Lemony Snicket." Am I right?

Yes.

You pretended to be Beatrice Baudelaire and Kit Snicket to lure Lemony Snicket into a trap, am I right?

I continued to ask Bertrand several questions. He confirmed them all. I could have handed Lemony the original recording showing what exactly happened that day. But I know it would be too sad for him.

Now that time has passed, and I know that Lemony will no longer be able to read this, I can explain it to you, dear reader.

I found page 9 of the Snicket File, which you must have read before getting here. (Unless you have a bad habit of reading the final chapters of a book before reading the opening chapters).

The time I spent in the submerged library was well used by me. What I read from Beatrice's words made me certain: she certainly died on the day when her house was set on fire. After all, she loved her children very much, and she would never have left them in such a difficult situation if she were alive.

Then I realized something very important … One of the reasons that Beatrice sought Violetta was because she wanted a doctor capable of lying. The question was, "Lying to whom?" The answer was more bitter than I could have imagined, and I only discovered it when I found the book Botanical Poisons and Their Applications. According to the book, Conium maculatum is a poison with no known antidotes.

Beatrice wanted Violetta to lie to Beatrice herself. She was trying to kill herself but started acting like she was trying to fake her death.

It should be easier for her to engage her subconscious.

Everything was going on like a play. After searching a lot, I found a recording of what happened in the last few minutes before the fire. The recording was not complete, unfortunately. But two voices were perfectly heard. A male voice and a female voice.

She's dead, Bertrand … She told me what she was going to do and that's why I came here.

It can not be! We just sent the kids to the beach, because Lemony was due to get here today! How am I going to face the kids?

Bertrand, she wanted me to take care of you.

You what?

She wanted it, Bertrand!

Why did not you tell me? I could have stopped her! I loved her!

She loved you too, Bertrand! And so she didn't want children to be without a mother. I can be an excellent mother to them. Because I love you, and I will love them.

Violetta, go away. Before I do anything very wrong.

The recording sound was bad and I didn't hear the next few minutes. But then the recording went back to work. Violetta seemed to be screaming.

You forced me to do that Bertrand! I was going to leave you in happy ignorance!

What is it?

Do you remember when you wanted to have a third child? But the years passed and Beatrice did not get pregnant again at all. You started to believe that there was something wrong with either of you or both. And you two did medical tests.

Yes, I remember that. But what does this have to do with …

I forged your exams, Bertrand! Because Beatrice was already pregnant at that time, you no longer needed to know the truth.

What are you talking about?

Here is the real result … Do you see here, what is written? "Congenital" is a word that here means that she has betrayed you and none of those children are yours!

Again the recording was bad. When it returned I heard only male screams and the sound of things falling and breaking. Bertrand confirmed to me that he started the fire after hitting Violetta with the fireplace poker. Bertrand hid in the secret tunnel during the fire, taking some supplies, Beatrice's clothes and his clothes, his favorite books, the pot of the poisonous plant that had killed Beatrice, and some documents. Violleta had spoken before she died about how Beatrice intended to get the poisonous plant. So, after a few days, Bertrand also set fire to the Royal Gardens.

He made Lemony's letter, stating that he was about to arrive, end up in the hands of law enforcement officials. The poisonous plant was left in the secret tunnel, and Jacques Snicket found it. When Bertrand finally fell asleep, Lisa and I tied his hands and feet and took him to the basement.

I returned in time to sit down at the table and analyze the handbag. Bertrand was carrying a dart thrower. He would probably kill Lemony Snicket right thereafter confronting him. He carried several letters. These were the letters he had taken from Beatrice's brother. Of course, he already knew how to disguise himself as his wife, being able to deceive his brother-in-law and take the letters into his hands. When Bertrand realized that he had not managed to get Lemony killed at the hands of the judicial authorities, Bertrand tried to kill Lemony with his bare hands. He made Lemony believe that Beatrice was still alive and lured him to the Duchess of Winnipeg's mansion. The poor Duchess must have been murdered after she wrote that letter in Lemony's unauthorized autobiography. She knew too much. Or maybe it was Bertrand who wrote that letter … I never ended up asking him that. In any case, Lemony stayed out of the country for many years, but when he returned Bertrand initiated his plan to attract and kill Lemony. He wrote letters pretending to be my mother and pretending to be Beatrice Baudelaire, just like I decided to do. But he thought about it before I did, and in fact, now I realize that I unconsciously saw his plan in progress and ended up finding a good plan and copying it. (Of course, I wanted to attract Lemony by pretending to be people he loved who were dead, not to kill him, but to talk to him.) I cannot say that I fully understand Bertrand's attitude. I don't think he dressed like Beatrice just so he could get back at Lemony. I think he was trying to keep her alive somehow. And now I understand that my research is somewhat similar to his attitude.

Finally Lemony woke up. Lisa handed him the card Bertrand had written. Lemony came to the table. And then we had a long and pleasant conversation.

So you are my niece? This is a difficult story to believe.

Well, I brought some books and some writings that were found with me on a beach. Here are Sunny, Klaus, and Violet's commonplace books. They guided me for many years. Lemony took the books and turned each page carefully. I didn't tell him about Bertrand Baudelaire. The recording I made was forwarded to the police, and the following afternoon Bertrand Baudelaire was arrested. Lemony never knew these details, but he did know he was cleared. He believed me that night. And I could see that he felt happy and sad at the same time when he met me.

So you wrote all those letters?

Yes, it was me.

But some letters don't make sense … Some letters seem to have references to letters I had written for Violet's mother many years ago. How could you know? I reached out and handed him the package of letters that Bertrand had brought.

I ended up finding this on some of my trips. I'm sorry for cheating you. Lemony took the letters, and I saw a nostalgic expression on his face.

Why didn't you sign some of the letters but others did you?

I'm sorry for that. Are my letters there with you? Lemony took several letters out of his overcoat. Bertrand did not sign the letters he sent to Lemony. Unlike Beatrice, he did not learn to forge signatures. I signed in front of him.

Okay, now you have letters from Beatrice and letters to Beatrice.

Lemony took a letter from the middle of the set. It was a huge letter, with a large ring-shaped mark, from someone who placed a container of drinks on the letter sheet without using a coaster.

Something doesn't make sense, Beatrice. This letter contains the answers to 12 of 13 questions that Beatrice once asked me. But I know that this letter never reached her hands because she let me write it. How did that letter reach your hands? And if you had that letter, why did you write it in one of the letters that still had 12 questions for me to answer?

Does everything have to make sense for you? If you tell me where my foster parents are, I will tell you the secret of that letter.

He smiled sadly. I didn't know what the secret of that letter was. But Bertrand was the one who intercepted that letter and had never discussed it with Beatrice. Was that why he had been so jealous and insecure about the proof that Lemony was alive?

I never knew Beatrice, where your adoptive parents are right now. But, if you're here and they never found you …

Do not say that.

They would never leave you alone, would they? Not for so long… I found something in my research on the Baudelaire case. Something very sad and I took a picture. It was a picture of a vessel that belonged to the Baudelaires, called Beatrice. And Beatrice sank.

I asked to see the photograph, and he also took that photograph from inside the overcoat.

I smiled through tears. It represented something that I remembered.

They must have made an improvised vessel with the few books that were on the vessel. And then they decided to save you, Beatrice.

He started to cry and so did I. And he was right. I think I always knew, after all. But now I had a photograph. And looking at the picture, in my heart, I could say "thanks" and "goodbye".

But you said in one of the letters that they had recently separated from you, didn't you?

I could not say that this was a big lie by an impostor who wanted to make Lemony believe that the Baudelaires were also alive and that they had met with their mother to attract and kill him.

Yes it's true.

Maybe they are out there looking for you, and they never found you because you were always traveling from place to place. If you stay here, they may find you someday.

Yes - I said through tears.

And if you stay here, I can always find you too.

Lisa approached the table. She was listening to everything.

It's true, Beatrice. Just because you're an orphan doesn't mean you have no family. I am your family now. And now you've met three uncles.

One of them is an arsonist …

Lemony said:

Even Ernest values the family. He would never hurt Dewey's daughter. And who knows, you can help him find his way back to nobility.

I was grateful for that. Now it was my turn to give back to Lemony.

Would you like to say goodbye to her? - I asked.

To say goodbye to whom?

Beatrice Baudelaire. Not me, the other one.

What are you talking about?

I know where she must be. But to prove it, I need some samples of her hair or nails.

The only "hair sample" I had I returned to her, along with this letter that you don't want to explain to me how you owned it. When I heard that, I opened Bertrand's handbag and found that. Lemony refused to ask me any more questions about how strange it was and realized that some things were better left in the great unknown.

After a few days, Lemony and I arrived at the laboratory of a skeleton specialist who was Lemony's friend. I had read about that woman in TSS. In Beatrice's will, she asked to be buried in one of Mount Fraught's caves without a headstone. It was a cave especially full of bats. I had been there, and I knew where it was. Lemony wrote that she had found many bones in that region, and I deduced that some of the bones were from Beatrice. He and I held hands when the doctor confirmed that the bones belonged to the owner of that hair. We cry and hug.

Finally Lemony had found Beatrice.

I asked him to send me a photo of the cave where he would ensure that it was buried again. Violetta's bones were also buried there, mistaken for Bertrand's bones. Mr. Poe made sure that no one else knew where the alleged couple had been buried, according to the instructions in the will.

Soon I will also need to climb those mountains to fulfill a promise I made to my uncle. I will take a sugar bowl with me and stick it on that cave with a small inscription: "B and L - Love Conquers Nearly Everything."