#I'm Going Back To Minnesota Where My Sadness Makes Sense

[new--tomorrows]

Have you ever stood on a frozen lake, California? The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea—a field of mirror all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you is light & it’s gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you & it’s so sad, you know? You’re the only warm thing for miles & the only thing that can’t shine. --Danez Smith, I'm Going Back To Minnesota Where My Sadness Makes Sense

[poetrysmackdown]

WELCOME TO ROUND 2 OF THE POETRY SMACKDOWN

Hello again. First I just wanna say how excited I am at the response to this bracket. I was going to consider it a smashing success if like forty people voted, so needless to say it has outperformed my expectations, and I’ve really really enjoyed talking with folks and seeing everyone's responses to these poems! That said, 14/16 of my votes were in the minority, so actually fuck you guys. 🩷

Anyways Round 2! Transcriptions are included this time in alt text—sincere apologies to everyone for whom Round 1 was inaccessible, and many thanks to @army-of-bee-assassins and @accessibleaesthetics for being so generous with their helpful advice and feedback. I'm still going back and forth about whether to include just alt text or to include the image descriptions in the body of the post as well, but I've reformatted it in my drafts like twice already so at this point I'm just hitting publish and opening it up for feedback.

I've also included links to readings by the author for all the poems where one was available, for anyone interested in getting a fresh perspective.

enjoy! -amelia @poetriarchy

ROUND 2: ENDS JULY 26th at 6pm EDT

“The Two-Headed Calf” by Laura Gilpin vs. “Poem” by Langston Hughes

"Miss you. Would like to grab that chilled tofu we love." by Gabrielle Calvocoressi vs. “Hammond B3 Organ Cistern” by Gabrielle Calvocoressi

“someone will remember us” (Fragment 147 from Sappho trans. Anne Carson) vs. “The Quiet World” by Jeffrey McDaniel

“Come. And Be My Baby” by Maya Angelou vs. “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver

“The Orange” by Wendy Cope vs. “Instructions on Not Giving Up” by Ada Limón

“To The Young Who Want to Die” by Gwendolyn Brooks vs. “Meditations in an Emergency” by Cameron Awkward-Rich

“I’m not a religious person but” by Chen Chen vs. “How to Be a Dog” by Andrew Kane

“I’m Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense” by Danez Smith vs. “Having ‘Having a Coke With You’ With You” by Mark Leidner

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 18: “Big Time Concert” (Part 3)

Highlights: 3/4 of Big Time Rush move on with their lives.

In my previous post, we'd just left off at the scene where Hawk and his assistant have made the decision to target James in their big "take down Rocque Records once and for all" plan.

Over at Rocque Records, Kelly informs Gustavo that since Griffin spent $2 million on the band, it'll take that same amount to get them back.

This scene brings back such memories of a younger me being so intrigued by Kelly's necklace because it looks like big pieces of Orbit chewing gum.

I just. I want to chew on that necklace, ok?

Kelly thinks she's figured out a way they can get that kind of money, and Gustavo is thrilled...until Kelly tells him he's got to sell his mansion.

Meanwhile, everyone is settling back in at the Knight house (minus James, who's out riding his tiny bike around and brooding). I like the touch of having the wall of family pictures that contain actual photos of the actors—I spot a handful of Kendall's headshots that I recognize. I especially like that there's the same photo twice.

Rather than seeing it as a funny mistake on the part of the set designer, I choose to believe either

Mama Knight likes that picture so much that she had to include it in two different frames

Or, alternatively, someone (maybe Katie or Carlos) decided at some point to pull a prank where they slowly start replacing every photo on the wall with that one single picture and see how long it takes before anyone notices.

Kendall asks Logan to go over where they are currently in their "Rebuild our Minnesota dreams schedule," and can I just say that the guys (minus James) have slipped back into their lives as nobodies in Minnesota seamlessly? Like, I know it was James's dream, and the whole reason they went was because Kendall's offer made it so James could have that shot at stardom, and Kendall never really wanted to be in a boyband, but still. They had so many opportunities in that short time, experienced so much, made friends, established romantic relationships, and saw how amazing that life can be. You'd think they'd all be mourning at least a little. Unless they're just in a different type of denial than James was.

Although, I suppose their response can make sense when you look at their individual personalities. Logan's pragmatic, so I'm sure it could have been easy for him to brush off their brief taste of stardom with self-assurances that it wasn't a sturdy, logical career to pursue anyway, and failure was much more likely than success in the long run.

Carlos is such a carefree, go-with-the-flow, high-on-life guy that he can find happiness anywhere. He rolls with the punches and just looks to the next exciting thing (ie. becoming a radioactive superhero. Love that for you, Los)

Kendall is a little trickier because he does kind of have an obsessive personality, and he's just as determined about things as James. I'm almost surprised he doesn't take the end of the band, his chance with Jo, and so on harder. But then there's the part of me that says there are other things at play that overpower whatever sadness Kendall might have, such as him seeing it as a chance to finally relax for a bit. He'd been working so hard to hold everything together in L.A., churning out pep talks and dealing with Gustavo and constant shenanigans. He can take a breath now. Also! While I don't think Kendall has necessarily had a difficult life overall (it's clear he's had a good, loving upbringing, has a nice house, etc) I don't think his life has been easy. He watched his parent's marriage fall apart when he was super young; his dad walked out, his mom has had to work her butt off to support him and Katie, and Kendall also has a job (I think the only one of the boys who does) to help bring in extra money. That kid knows that sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you've got to hold your head up and just keep going. No time for a pity party or wallowing in "what ifs."

So yeah, anyway...tangent over. My favorite part of this little scene is the look Kendall gives to Logan after he reads the first item off their list.

Look at him. There's so much love in that look. He's so proud of Logan going after his dreams. I love Kendall, and I love their friendship, and I love this stupid show.

And I need to briefly get off topic here solely to mention how much I've always liked Logan's accent. Love the way he says words. He turns the short "e" sound into short "i" in so many things. "Ten" becomes "tin," and "Kendall" becomes "Kindall." I also have a distinct memory of one episode where he manages to turn the two-syllable word "ruin" into the single-syllable word "roon." Always got a kick out of that.

With all this sidetracking, it is going to take me FOREVER to get through this episode. I am barely twenty minutes in.

After Super Carlos bursts into the room and announces they're going to start righting the wrongs they left behind when they moved to L.A., the guys go to apologize to Mrs. Magicowski. They promised to shovel her walkway if she let them use her car to get to the audition, then they ditched her and went to be a band, lol. I love Mrs. Magicowski; she's such a sweet old woman. I want to know more about the relationship the boys have with her. I imagine they took good care of her prior to leaving—checking in on her, shoveling, raking leaves, bringing her meals—and in return, she was like a grandma to all of them.

They look ridiculous, btw.

I mean, Kendall I can excuse, but Logan and Carlos look like they've just rung a doorbell and are waiting for candy on Halloween. Bunch of weirdos.

No, wait, you know what? This is exactly how they looked on Halloween night as kids, I guarantee it. Carlos as a superhero, Logan as a doctor, Kendall as a hockey player, and James like a rockstar. Speaking of James, what's he up to?

Oh.

Shake it off, Jamesy.

Also, the tiny bike still is very funny, but @day-dreams22, I'm pretty sure you're right that it's a BMX bike. After he gets hit, there's a shot where you can see the words "goose" on the bike, which means it's likely a Mongoose-brand BMX trick/stunt bike. And look at that hop off the curb. James Diamond, secret BMX stunt rider CONFIRMED.

Ok, you know what? I was aiming for 4 posts total for this episode, but it looks like it'll end up being 5 because I'm rambling so much during these. Hope no one minds having to split it into so many parts, but I worry if they're too long, they'll be difficult to read and get through. Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun being able to just go on about whatever, haha.

And James getting hit by a car seems like a fitting place to leave this episode. Hope he survives <3

[northcountrymaid]

my favorite poems

the second coming - yeats

the hanging man - sylvia plath

dogfish - mary oliver

i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense - danez smith

[livesonthebside]

A couple of months ago, my penpal asked me if I had any favourite poems/quotes that could be read over the graves of men from the FE. He didn’t find any this year, but in honour of Fitzjames, I thought I would post some of my selections:

Terror & Erebus by Gwendolyn McEwan:

This is the end of science.

We left it behind us,

A graph in the snow, a horrible cipher, a desperate code.

And the sun cannot read, and the snow cannot either

Franklin's Passage by David Solway:

We know differently.

Ice is meant to be grappled with,

broken through,

trudged over,

listened to,

died on.

We know this, too.

The Northwest Passage

is where it always was.

It is here right beneath our feet.

Northwest Passage by James Pollock

When you set out to find your Northwest Passage

and cross to an empty region of the map

with a headlong desire to know what lies beyond,

sailing the thundering ice-fields on the ocean,

feeling her power move you from below;

when all summer the sun’s hypnotic eye

won’t blink, and the season slowly passes, an endless

dream in which you’re forever diving into pools,

fame’s image forever rising up to meet you;

when the fall comes, at last, triumphantly,

and you enter Victoria’s narrow frozen Strait,

and your Terror and Erebus freeze in the crushing floes;

in that long winter night among the steeples

of jagged ice, and the infinite, empty plain of wind and snow,

when the sea refuses to be reborn in spring,

three winters pass without a thaw, and the men,

far from their wives and children, far from God,

are murdering one another over cards;

when blue gums, colic, paralysis of the wrists

come creeping indiscriminately among you;

and you leave the ships, and set out on the ice,

dragging the lifeboats behind, loaded

with mirrors and soap, slippers and clocks,

into the starlit body of the night,

with your terrible desire to know what lies beyond;

then, half-mad, snow blind, even then,

before you kill the ones who’ve drawn the fatal lots,

and take your ghastly communion in the snow,

may you stumble at last upon some band of Inuit

hauling their catch of seal across the ice,

and see how foolish you have been:

forcing your way by will across a land

that can’t be forced, but must be understood,

toward a passage just now breaking up within.

Some pro-explorer poetry was On First Looking Into Chapman’s Homer by Keats

Much have I travell'd in the realms of gold,

And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;

Round many western islands have I been

Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.

Oft of one wide expanse had I been told

That deep-brow'd Homer ruled as his demesne;

Yet did I never breathe its pure serene

Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies

When a new planet swims into his ken;

Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes

He star'd at the Pacific—and all his men

Look'd at each other with a wild surmise—

Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

and The Imitation of Christ, because it’s the origin of the title of the Edwin Landseer painting:

According to our resolution so is the rate of our progress, and much diligence is needful for him who would make good progress. For if he who resolveth bravely oftentimes falleth short, how shall it be with him who resolveth rarely or feebly? But manifold causes bring about abandonment of our resolution, yet a trivial omission of holy exercises can hardly be made without some loss to us. The resolution of the righteous dependeth more upon the grace of God than upon their own wisdom; for in Him they always put their trust, whatsoever they take in hand. For man proposeth, but God disposeth; and the way of a man is not in himself.

And my personal fave, I'm Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense by Danez Smith:

Have you ever stood on a frozen lake?

The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea - a field of mirror

all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you

is light & it’s gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you

& it’s so sad, you know? You’re the only warm thing for miles

& the only thing that can’t shine.

[chaotic-orion]

apollo weave

I'M GOING BACK TO MINNESOTA WHERE SADNESS MAKES SENSE by danez smith // candle by kim hyesoon (trans. don mee choi) // my assignment is to "draw chaos" by jess rizkallah // untitled poem ["why feel guilty because the death of a lover causes lust?"] by alan dugan // corn fires by kai carlson-wee // the plague on TV by jaswinder bolina

[altschmerzes]

not to overthink poetry on main (on anon in ur inbox) but i think the dark in november line you rbed and im going to minnesota were sadness makes sense are both just like. oh! im allowed to feel negative things and not be On 100% of the time. the cold allows that the darkness allows that the world gives these feelings a home etc etc. the world allows me to not feel as though im wasting time by not doggedly trying to make the most of every single moment i am on it by reserving this time and space for the “lesser” parts of life that aren’t lesser but are quite beautiful for the mere fact that they are human, actually. etc etc. ‘im going to minnesota’ much more overtly than november but. yea. Yeah. or maybe im just overthinking it idk but you opened my eyes to a little common thread with that rb there so thank you! i also just generally think the little poem lines you rb are always very good and very nice and i loooove seeing them okay that’s all bye

no i think you're very onto something here, it's part of the reason i like the cold and the dark of winter so much honestly. like. yeah. it's a kind of hibernation, to give yourself rest from needing to be On, from needing to be like. bright and present and Seen. people are so much more understanding about 'i just don't feel up to it' in the winter, i feel. summer makes me feel agitated and exposed a lot of the time. i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense. night grows in november. you're the only warm thing for miles and the only thing that can't shine. we can quiet down in november. etc.

i'm so glad you enjoy the clips and bits of poetry i collect here like a raven dropping bottle caps and bits of tinsel into my nest bc that's exactly what i'm doing here sldfjs it makes some part of my brain light up and i slam the reblog immediately

[poisongardenz]

Letter to My Blackout

Helen Considers Leaving Troy

The Prestige

Mountain Dew Commercial Disguised as a Love Poem

I'm Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense

Holocene Sonnet

[boudicca]

ur passion against the dog poem is so funny to me 😭 personally i love that poem but never stop

it's so bad. to me. and i cannot believe it beat i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense. my BEST FRIEND i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense. even if it weren't a poorly paced wall of text and stupid as all fuck it still should not have beaten mx danez. i will ALWAYS complain about the dog poem and i will NEVER stop being a hater!!!!!!!!!

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 5th November

I sometimes load up a song only to realise it's already in my liked songs. Usually this is not a huge surprise to me, but I have to say, this one confused me - I have no memories of ever seeing it or its artist before, but apparently I liked it enough to save it to my liked songs? However that happened, that probably bodes well, right?

Red River Rock - Johnny and the Hurricanes (peaked at Number 3)

Okay, still no idea where I've come across this before, but I can confirm that I was 100% right to put it into my liked songs. It's a little slice of instrumental rock and roll goodness, based on a cowboy folk song called Red River Valley about - you guessed it - the Red River Valley in Manitoba, so just north of places like Dakota and Minnesota. This original song was written initially around 1870, when an expedition set out there to put down the so-called Red River Rebellion, which was apparently the first big crisis Canada faced after confederating as one entity in 1867. The local Métis population, in particular, who were mostly French-speakers, didn't appreciate the new English-speaking governor, and set up their own provisional government, prompting the Wolseley Expedition to be sent out as a way of reinforcing official Canadian power. It wasn't a complete defeat for the Métis, though - off the back of talks that were held, separate French education for Métis children and protection of Catholicism were obtained, and Manitoba was cemented as an official Canadian state.

All this, of course, is a fascinating but ultimately rather irrelevant side-tangent to a song that in practice is barely about the Red River Rebellion. Sure, it's presumed to be written from the perspective of a local Métis woman, who's fallen in love with a soldier, and is sad that he's now going to be packing up and going back east. But the result are lyrics that could be about anybody separated from their love - the universality of it, as a theme, is doubtless a large part of the reason the song has survived the test of time. And then this particular version takes it one step further away from its original historical context by turning it into a rock and roll instrumental, with a Hammond organ taking over the main melody line. So yeah, interesting history that I had absolutely no idea about, but not actually crucial to know.

I will say that adapting a folk song does immediately have one big advantage, which is that you're looking at a tune that's by definition catchy enough to have stood the test of time, and simple enough that people will remember it. There's also, I guess, a built in audience who will recognise it at least well enough to go "huh, that sounds familiar" - even if you don't know the specific tune, there are definite echoes of other folk classics like She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain. So it feels a very comfortable thing - you can feel exactly where the tune's going, in a very reassuring way. It's the same trick that Bill Haley was pulling all the way back on tracks like The Saints' Rock and Roll or Rockin' Through the Rye, and it's just as effective here as it was there.

I also think that the Hammond organ and sax combination here adds something really distinctive and memorable to the track. There's a sort of raucous, boisterous sense of swagger to it all. Add in a thumpy set of drums and a guitar bassline that's chuggy and bluesy, and you've got something that honestly sounds a little bit glam rock, to me. I mean, listen to this, and tell me that you couldn't imagine a band like Slade pulling off a pretty decent cover? It's trememdously good music for headbanging to, the sort of record I could absolutely imagine people putting on for a spin at their 1959 Christmas parties. What it lacks in subtlety, it absolutely makes up in fun.

I didn't mention this elsewhere, so I will mention it here: Johnny and the Hurricanes is also an absolutely badass band name. 10/10.

I'm really digging some of these instrumental tracks you're beginning to get, here. This one, in particular, really tickled something in my brain - I think it's the repetition of the tune, and the way you can really quickly pick it up. I also enjoy some Hammond organ. There are very few songs that aren't improved by a Hammond organ, and combined with sax, it just creates this awesome, full, warm rock and roll sound that I kind of love. Plus I learnt some history about how Canada became Canada. Which is a nice bonus to a song I already was enjoying. So yeah, good job to past me, I guess - this can sta in my liked songs.

Favourite song of the tangentially Canadian bunch: Red River Rock

[dragonomatopoeia]

An Incomplete List of My Favorite Poems:

"Butter Dish" by Leonard Cohen

Del Mito by Jaime Sabines

"Flood" by Eliza Griswold

"For the Sake of Strangers" by Dorianne Laux

"The Fourth Sign of The Zodiac" by Mary Oliver

"The Gardener 85" by Rabindranath Tagore

"a great Hope fell" by Emily Dickinson

"Hammond B3 Organ Cistern" by Gabrielle Calvocoressi

"i'm going back to Minnesota where sadness makes sense by Danez Smith

"Immortality" by Clare Harner

"Instructions on Not Giving Up" by Ada Limón

"Love Letters" by Victoria Chang

"Meditations in An Emergency" by Cameron Awkward-Rich

"My Sister, Who Died Young, Takes Up The Task" by Jon Pineda

"A Meeting" by Wendell Berry

"My Dead Friends" by Marie Howe

"Night Walk" by Franz Wright

"Obit" by Victoria Chang

"The Orange" by Wendy Cope

"Poem" by Langston Hughes

"Untitled" by Xin Qiji

"What The Living Do" by Marie Howe

“what resembles the grave but isn't” by Anne Boyer

For a long time I went around saying "oh I don't really like poetry" which was untrue but Felt true in the sense that I disliked a form of poetry that felt obfuscatory and overly decorative. But now I can settle back and make peace with the fact that my ability to name a sizable chunk of poetry I've enjoyed indicates Some Affection for Poetry, actually

[hellotomyoldheart]

& THE ONLY THING THAT CAN'T SHINE.

crane your neck, lady lamb / self portrait against red wallpaper, richard siken / shirley: visions of reality, gustav deutsch / no light no light, florence + the machine / i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense, danez smith.

[fluentisonus]

.

[numinousnic]

NATIONAL POETRY MONTH 2021 April 12 | “I’m Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense”

O California, don’t you know the sun is only a god if you learn to starve for him? I’m bored with the ocean I stood at the lip of it, dressed in down, praying for snow I know, I’m strange, too much light makes me nervous at least in this land where the trees always bear green. I know something that doesn’t die can’t be beautiful. Have you ever stood on a frozen lake, California? The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea — a field of mirror all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you is light & it’s gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you & it’s so sad, you know? You’re the only warm thing for miles & the only thing that can’t shine.

Danez Smith

[on-noon]

two poems, one by me another that i have been memorizing recently:

I'm Going Back To Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense by Danez Smith

The Scream of Snow

The snow bites cold

But the scream is worse than the bite

A silent scream– snow consumes sound

A scream that hits my eyes, hurts my eyes

The snow collects the sun

(sun that could melt it)

And shoots the light back out

The scream of the snow in my eyes)

actually now that i think about it if anyone has any recommendations of shortish poems for me to learn this year id appreciate it a lot

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

Heyy i just read your substack and i thought it was really good!!. you really have a LOT of potential (that almost makes it sound like it's subpar, not what i mean), and i'll def check out some of your other stuff! and this is coming from someone who tends to be on the overcritical hater side of things. I was wondering, if you read poetry, could you give some poetry book recs that are similar to your writing (for lack of a better word) vibe? Thanks! :)

HI ANON!!!! first of all thank u so much that means the world <3 so glad to have a hater on my side!!!!!

i am, tragically, incredibly unaware of what it means to have a style so i cant really reccommend u a book of someone that writes like me, but what i CAN do is give u a few poems that i always go to for inspiration!!!

i am so depressed i feel like jumping in the river behind my house but won't because i'm thirty-eight and not eighteen by sandra cisneros (who i ADORE i highly recommend her book a house on mango street)

lana turner has collapsed! by frank o'hara (i love a lot of his stuff too, there's a lovely bit of desperation in it)

a boat by richard brautigan

i'm going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense by danez smith (their book homie is incredible and i will reccommend it until im blue in the face)

the end of love by ada límon

saying your names by richard siken (from crush, which is all over tumblr but for very good reason!!!)

girl in amber by nick cave and the bad seeds (not a poem, a song-- theyre similar enough for me, and this is an exceptional one)

my friend morgan's substack post, existentialism for dummies

beat poetry in general-- i'm on the road a lot, so a lot of beat poetry resonated with me!!! i reccommend allen ginsberg, jack keourac, lucien carr, and leonard cohen (who was a BEAUTIFUL poet before he got into music)

hope that helps!!! all the love mwah mwah <3