#I'll update if i ever reach void status

[sadlynotthevoid]

_(:′3」∠)_

This is the nicest thing someone has ever told me—

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Author's Notes: I noticed I haven't written in awhile; so I took up on listening to music for a bit and suddenly I wrote this so here ya go.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Toxic relationship behaviors, cursing, emotional abuse.

Word count: 1.4k (shockingly)

Additional Notes: A huge thank you to @soukokuwu for proofreading! My lovely daughter~

I couldn't care less.

"I hate you. You're seriously the worst. I can't believe I thought you were someone special."

Trying to make your words reach him was like trying to cut the air. It was impossible. In this once warm, wholesome apartment you shared with your boyfriend, all you got now was his signature cold, vacant stare. And the longer you looked, the more his chocolate eyes seemed to darken into black.

"Sweetheart, if you don't like the way I am anymore, then why are you still standing there? Do you think I'm going to get down on my knees and beg you to stay?"

That sneer— it was nothing like what you’d seen before. It was like he became a whole other person. This man standing in front of you? This wasn’t the Osamu you knew and adored. This was a man with a sharp bite, a venomous tongue.

He let out a chuckle. The fear in your eyes was certainly amusing.

"What is it, kitten? Cat got your tongue? Tell me I'm the worst. Say how much I hurt you. And make you cry. I would love to revel in every ounce of pain you have to share."

You gulped. Life was unfair. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden? Why did everything have to come crumbling down just when you thought it couldn’t get better? You wanted so badly to talk it out, but he was being a jerk. How? How did it all come to this?

You couldn’t help it. The words slipped out your mouth all too easily. 

“You used to be so sweet. You used to be the sun in my sky… When did you burn out? When the hell did you become so dark? I don’t… I don’t want to leave you. But with the way things are going, you’re not leaving me much choice!”

Dazai fell silent and smirked, watching as you started awkwardly reaching for your purse. You hated this. All of this. But despite that, you couldn’t even walk out the door without hesitating. 

"Go on. Walk out. There's no saving me, darling. I'll only break you more. Life is unfair, and that’s the only way that it’s fair. You can hate all you want, you can even talk shit about me to everyone if it makes you feel better. I could be the lover that left you with bleeding wounds, the lover that made you want to kill yourself. But don't think for a minute that I would ever take you back. I’d leave you out to bleed. Don't doubt me."

***

It hadn’t even been an hour and you already felt lost. You weren’t used to this, being alone, not having your pillar of support, not having Osamu.

It hadn’t even been an hour and you already miss him. You were scrolling through the photo album, your finger sliding across the glass of the phone swiftly. There were so many memories. The ones that got to you the most? The little things. Like waking up in bed next to him, when you’d fumble for your phone to take pictures of his sleeping face. You loved it. Or even bigger things like going on ice cream dates, which sometimes ended up with him swiping some of yours because yours tasted better. And even more intimate moments like those soft, sensual kisses he loved to give. 

All your favourite things, his favourite things, recorded in the form of photos on your phone.

If you could win him back it would be with exactly that. That's what always got him out of a bad mood. 

Yes, that was it. This was a bad mood. All you had to do was alleviate it. And you had an idea of just what to do.

You bought his favourite drink before getting back to the apartment. It was empty, as you expected it to be. He must’ve already left for an evening drink at the bar. Perfect. At least you now had the chance to cook a meal for him and surprise him with it. 

Had you known you wouldn't be greeted with a smile and a hug you wouldn't have been so foolish to try to make amends with him. He glared at you like you were a trespasser. A stranger in his home. He didn’t even bother with your offerings. You were hoping to steer this in the right direction, but all Dazai was headed for was the door. 

"Dazai wait—"

Your body was pressed against his back, your arms wrapped around his waist to keep him from leaving. But the only reaction he had to that was a low growl in his voice as he spoke. 

"Get your hands off me. You think buying me liquor and making me food would make this all disappear? How stupid can you be? You can't buy my affection back."

That was all it took. A second time hearing it made it clear this was really happening. Your arms dropped to your sides. He opened the door and you opened your mouth to ask one last thing. You had to know. Even if it hurt you.

“When… when did I stop becoming enough for you?”

He turned around, his gaze dark and condescending, a scoff escaping his lips.

“You really want to know?” He arched a brow, continuing as you fell silent. “Money’s the answer to everything, isn’t it? Material goods? You think you can just buy me over with that? It’s always the same old thing with you. Complaining over the phone about work. I come back and all you’re talking about is work. Spare me, please. It’s getting really old.”

He waved you off and continued out the door. You dropped to your knees in disbelief. You hadn't realized just how bland you had become in his eyes. What felt like hours to you was only minutes in reality. It felt so heavy when you decided to stand on your own two feet.

***

As the days turned to weeks, it didn’t get any easier.

You were still following him on his socials, in the hopes of being able to return to what once was. As much as you tried not to, there was still a small spark of hope inside you telling you to keep trying. Even when he responded to your private messages straight away just to ghost you right after. He did this often. What a cruel way to keep you hanging by a thread. But even he got bored of toying with you. You just weren’t worth it. 

After that all you could do was watch him from afar.

In his videos he often boasted about being single, looking to party with anyone at all— except for you. But even that couldn’t stop you from worrying once you saw his status update later that night. 

“Hate me with all you got. I popped a pill just now and I feel myself fading. Take anything and make it about me, I'm sure this heavy crown will drown me.”

This man knew how to tug at your heartstrings, to make your heart ache for him. It hurt so much you couldn’t help yourself. You didn’t care even if you had to be the first to comment and tell him not to kill himself. Once more that incessant want to save him and have him back in your life was playing in your head like a fairytale you’ve dreamed of a thousand times.

But no reply ever came. Absolutely nothing. You waited for hours on end, even checked on the post several times while cooking. You were still pining for him, you couldn't help it. Even a simple acknowledgement from him would be good enough. He had been leading you on for quite some time and it was driving you insane. 

But even the brightest stars dim out one day. 

“So this is it.. he really is done with me.”

Your lips were quivering. You felt the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t blink just from the sheer disbelief of how cold he could be. 

That was how it was going to end? No last goodbye? No closure of any form? He truly left you high and dry, left you in the dark. It was just an empty void of possibilities of what could have been. The endless thoughts of: what if this happened? Or what if it didn’t? Would you still be here crying your eyes out?

And that’s how you came to be cold, distant. You put down your phone and took up drinking instead. You were never one for much alcohol. Not until now. Maybe, slowly, you could learn to drink away the pain, and one day, someday, you’d learn to forget about him altogether. 

[lukamoonvibe]

Chapter Six: A Traveller, A Writh and Fate's Anomaly

Chapter Index

Summary: 

Medalling with time has a consequence, the consequence of his choice is to be a slave to it until Fate decides he's no fun anymore or he escapes...but does he really want to escape anymore? It's been so long, what would even be the point of going back anymore? Would anyone still remember him? Probably not. No one escapes Fate and lives to tell the tale. Not even a traveller of time.

Fandoms: Crewniverse, Crewfu/Morning Lobby, Chaos Crew/Derp Crew

Characters: Anthony | ChilledChaos, Max Gamble | APlatypuss, Steven | ZeRoyalViking , Taylor | TayderTot, Zach | CheesyBlueNips, Lucas | KYRSP33DY, Apollo Willems | Dumdog, Albi | SideArms4Reason, Skadj, Steven Suptic, 5up, Madi | Kruzadar, Shelby Grace | Shubble [Updated as I add more]

Rating: Mature

Status: On Going

A laugh echoed through the void, and everything around the man and the writh shook. The orb crackled and the image fizzled out, leaving an inky blur.

"He was not meant to be here." 

Their voice echoed, softer than the laugh.

"There should only be one. He will be returned once the writh sorts him out." 

He saw a faint glow from the corner of his eye, a door. He turned to face the light. His door. Why was his door glowing?

"Not for you, traveller. For your friend. He will be here soon." the writh seemed to have read his mind.

Chilled sighed, "Will I ever get a chance to see them again? You know, when I read about this place and learnt the spells to access the door, nowhere did it tell me that the door would be locked forever. I knew I'd be here forever, but I don't know how much longer I can do this." he wasn't really talking to the writh, more reconciling his own thoughts.

"You may, you just have to prove to me you deserve to." There was a familiar kind of mischief in their voice. 

He paced towards the door, reaching towards it, "And what if I just walked through now?" 

"You can try if you like." 

He grabbed the knob, retracting his hand almost immediately, shaking it off, "You're a bitch. Gender regardless." he muttered, observing his hand to see the damage. His fingertips and palm glowed white from blisters and his entire hand felt like it was on fire. He stalked back over to the orb, sitting by it.

"I did warn you it was for your friend, not you." the writh stated, still staring at the inky orb.

"Come my creature. It's time to return to the universe and start again." 

The writh looked over at Chilled, "Steve will be here soon; tell him that I'll see him next time around, yeah?" With a curt nod, it wandered off in a direction, eventually disappearing into the inky purple distance. 

The orb kept fizzling and he saw bits and pieces of what was going on. Speedy and 'Steve' in a police shop. A cell. A juvi centre. Then Speedy back with everyone again. 

How fast does time move here? That would have to be more than three months over in a few minutes. Why did she decide to talk finally? Why can't I access my door? Why did it burn me? What did she mean by I have to earn my right to see my real friends? What-

"Chilled! Thank god. I thought they actually managed to kill you." 

He blinked, noticing the orb was inky again. He felt arms wrap around him, and he just let it happen.

"Yeah. 5up- the time writh, wriths, they were tasked with removing you from the dimension, they were just struggling, so they sent me through knowing it would draw you out. Neither of us was injured." he rambled, losing himself in his thoughts again.

Speedy let him go, sitting beside him, "What are time wriths anyway?"

"They're born from dying timelines. They're reaping spirits I guess, sent to make a timeline right." Chilled looked around, trying to locate the other writh, "Hey did the other one come back with you or?"

"Nah. Actually, I don't know what happened to him. I hope he's somewhere and happy though."

"The door over there, our door. It's here for you, by the way," he looked down at his blistered hands, "it's been here for months, I'd be guessing. I guess she didn't expect you to take so long to get back here." Or maybe she just wanted to torture me more.

Speedy looked over at the door, shaking his head, "Absolutely not. I'm not leaving unless we go together. I didn’t study up on this art just to go back empty-handed.”

A chill went down his spine, “You devoted years to find me. Speedy, what if you had failed? What if you’d died on your way through? Did anyone know about it? How did you figure out this is where I was? Were you told? But no one knew; I didn’t tell anyone.” his brain ran haywire going over all the possibilities.

Speedy placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to ground him, “Chilled, listen. I chose to do this. Nobody told me where you’d gone. Tay was loyal till the end with your secret. I only know because I saw you leave. I didn’t attempt to come through until I was certain I’d make it alive. And I devoted around two years to learning the theory with help from Tay.” he pointed at the door again, “No matter what Fate does to try bribe me, I’ve told her straight I’m not leaving without you when I got here. She did everything in her power to stop us from running into each other but I never stopped fighting to find you.”

Drawing in a breath, Chilled met Speedy’s eyes, “But was it worth it?” I don’t think I’m personally worth getting trapped in a pocket dimension. Honestly, if I was in Speedy’s shoes I’d have just gone on with my life and lived it. Forgot about my stupid friend who got himself in too deep.

“She puts clones out for sure or maybe it’s a writh you. Regardless, I noticed over the first couple of years after you left that “you” were acting weird. Less of the playful banter, less of the bits where you’d pretend flirt, but the biggest glaring red flag was that according to Platy and Ze you started ignoring them both. They just assumed you forgot to answer them or were busy, y’know, but doubted it. So I asked Tay and she reluctantly said she’d help me; she wants her friend back.” 

“You didn’t answer my question. Was it worth giving up your life to come to get me?” 

Speedy laughed, “You really are dense. Of course, it was worth it. I’m not here to only save your life. I’m not even here to save your life, really, I’m here to learn about this place.”

Chilled glanced around the inky void again, “I don’t think there’s much to know about the pocket dimension other than it operates outside all space and time. You don’t age, or maybe you do at a very slow rate. I’m not completely sure. Wriths wander around in the depths, so stay away from there, they may try to drag you wherever it leads,” he pointed at the dark area behind them, “they don’t tend to come up here to the doors and orbs area I’ve noticed, maybe she doesn’t allow it. I don’t know.”

Speedy nodded, taking in the new information, “Other than now, has there ever been a door that sticks around for long periods of time?” 

Chilled shrugged, running his finger along the ground, creating little patterns in the purple sand, “Wait. Backtrack. You’ve met Fate, face to face?” 

“I mean. I wouldn’t say face to face. I was pulled into a dark room and she communicated through what I’d assume now to be a writh. But if that counts, then yeah, I’ve met her.” 

She didn’t pull me into anything when I got here. Maybe I am destined to be here. Maybe I doomed myself by studying the dark crafts. Maybe I should’ve listened to Tay. Maybe I should’ve tried letting someone come with me. Maybe Cheesy. Maybe they were right, maybe I should’ve just told them instead of running. Maybe- “You seemed to know who Madi and all that were. I also have memories I don’t remember making with them. I recognised their faces but I don’t know where from.” the words tumbled out of his mouth before he knew he was saying them.

“I mean, yeah. Kruz and all that play with us all the time. But-” he stopped.

When Chilled looked back at him, he could almost see the cogs turning in his brain. How do I have memories of people I’ve never met? Why do they feel like friends I never had?

“The clones share your conscience, Chilled. They share our conscience; any memories they make we pertain as well, but foggy. I was in the dimension for a while before you and you didn’t exist in the place. What if she’s throwing you into all the timelines where you didn’t meet any of us or you were never born? It would make sense. Maybe…maybe…” he trailed off, lost in his own thoughts.

But why? Why not send me into timelines a version of me exists in and just removed that version while I fix whatever sick quest she has me doing? Why am I only now gaining the memories of my clone? Why does she want Speedy gone so bad? 

“Maybe you should answer me, Chilled. Have there been any other doors that stuck around for considerable amounts of time?” Speedy’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Chilled shrugged, “Possibly, you start to lose track of, well, time in here. At some point my door even disappeared again, it only turned up again when you managed to find me the first time. I don’t really pay much attention around here anymore. I did for a while and almost sent myself mad.” Or maybe I am a crazy person and Speedy is someone I’ve made up to cure my loneliness…

“Chilled, Chilled. CHILLED SHE’S SPLITTING US AGAIN.”