#I'll try to go as far as I can beyond that of course

[shamera]

NaNo day 21

...i took the day off writing yesterday and used my free time to read, whoops. it seems my brain doesn't want to do the writing thing anymore, so i moved back to the time loop story!

short update, but i think i just missed dfs even if he sure didn't miss me and the frustration i like to put him through.

“Here,” Di Feisheng indicated on the map Wuyan brought. “Cross out all the places above. And one more thing.”

Wuyan didn’t dare object, and bowed before he left.

— 

“Where is everyone?” Fang Duobing asked as they walked through the village. He was peering around, craning his neck around corners as if the townsfolk were merely playing a game that he might win should he find them. It was strange mostly because there were stalls already out, and some food gone cold yet no people to eat or man the area. 

On an otherwise brisk but beautiful day, the entire village was silent. 

“Who knows?” Di Feisheng offered casually, looking away specifically. He didn’t have to look back to know that Li Lianhua was giving him a suspicious stare, but by the time he glanced back at the others, the physician was already studying one of the empty tables with interest. 

Li Lianhua ran a finger down the wooden grain of the table, and then lifted it up to check, rubbing his fingers together. 

“There’s ash,” he said with surprise, bringing his hand up to sniff delicately. “Trace amounts, but something was burnt here earlier. Not too long ago. The people might have evacuated thinking there was a fire.”

“Very effective.” Di Feisheng observed. 

Li Lianhua gave him another look, but didn’t comment further on the words. “I suppose we’ll have to investigate the area for today and wait until the people come back to ask about the missing travellers.”

“Tomorrow?” Fang Duobing’s voice was dismayed, but he merely scowled as he crossed his arms. “I’d rather take care of it today.”

Li Lianhua flicked his fingers. “There’s no rush.”

They searched through the village with far less hassle this time around, but also coming up with far less clues as to what happened to the travellers. 

“Let’s head down this path,” Di Feisheng suggested after the other two refused to rummage through the abandoned homes of the villagers. It meant they hadn’t found key items, but at the same time it meant they weren’t hassled by aggressive strangers. 

“Why?” Li Lianhua asked suspiciously from where he was resting next to a lopsided wooden fence. “You’ve been behaving strange all day, A-Fei.”

Luckily, it seemed Fang Duobing was a little too preoccupied poking through a fire pit a little too large and close to the village centre. Di Feisheng had seen the pit enough times to know that it was there normally and therefore not the source of whatever fire Fang Duobing was looking for. 

“A hunch,” Di Feisheng responded, and turned to leave, knowing the other two would eventually follow him. 

He leads them (suspiciously) to the well and the cavern where the dungeon was, and then (suspiciously) refuses to say how he knew that would be there. For all the times Di Feisheng had quietly attempted to get them to believe that he was repeating the same day over and over, he didn’t want to have that conversation today. 

He generally didn’t want to be called upon to explain how the previous iteration of ‘today’ ended. He just wanted to finish searching through the dungeon to see if they could find something particular or strange, and then perhaps take the next several iterations of ‘today’ away from this place. 

He wasn’t even looking to end the repeats. There were still things he wanted to accomplish if given the extra time. The distant sense of urgency to find a solution to the repeats from the previous day had already faded, but Di Feisheng’s irritation concerning this village had yet to do so. 

“Don’t,” he warned as they searched, “go into the cells. There’s an incendiary trap in there.”

Now it was Fang Duobing frowning at him. “How do you know that?”

Di Feisheng thought for a moment, and then replied, “Ask me this tomorrow.”

They found nothing of use, and when they returned to Lotus Tower for the night, Wuyan reported in the negative and Di Feisheng crossed out another section of the map. 

He spent the late evening practising his sword forms, an uneasy feeling building within as he took his frustrations and uncertainty out on the trees surrounding him. Even as the candle light of Lotus Tower was blown out, he stayed out under the moonlight until he fell asleep resting against the roots of a tree.

— 

Di Feisheng opened his eyes to an unoccupied bed the next day, and frowned. The birds were still chirping, but there was the smell of rice cooking and the distinct sounds of murmuring and footsteps below him. 

He wasn’t… he was still staring up at the roof of Lotus Tower, but was it the next day?

He lifted an arm. He was back in his sleep clothes, although he was certain he fell asleep outdoors in full wear the previous night. He brought the sleeve to his arm and sniffed. No. Unless someone managed to wash him of the sweat accumulated from his training last night, it was just another loop. 

Yet this time, he overslept. 

Judging from the sounds, the two downstairs were trying not to wake him up in a surprisingly thoughtful turn. Di Feisheng moved out of bed slowly, taking stock of his own body as he moved. Nothing seemed amiss, and he certainly wasn’t feeling the exertion from the day previous. He felt as he had each morning for each repeat, and as the bed creaked and his feet hit the floor, he could hear the noises below him change. 

After dressing and strapping his sword to his back, Di Feisheng made his way down the stairs to Fang Duobing attempting to not so subtly push Li Lianhua away from the kitchen area with a spatula as he held onto the pan over the flames and Li Lianhua stirring a pot on a burner with a frown.

“A-Fei!” Fang Duobing called out cheerfully as he pushed through the door. “You sure slept in this morning. Just in time for breakfast, though.”

With bowls of watery congee and a plate of stir-fried vegetables, they sat and discussed the disappearances of several travellers in the village they were heading toward. Di Feisheng stayed quiet during their discussion, watching them for cues. Luckily, that was not unusual of him, although they gave him confused glances from time to time. 

“We probably could have been on our way already,” Fang Duobing bluffed (they never left this early, not in all the iterations) with a sly smile, leaning over the table. “If someone hadn’t overslept!”

Di Feisheng gave him a flat look and set down his empty bowl. 

“I’ll join you tomorrow.” He said. “Something came up today.”

Immediately, Fang Duobing’s smug expression melted into concern instead. It was unfortunate that his emotions were always so clear on his face, as Di Feisheng couldn’t understand how the young man could be a detective when he couldn’t bluff his way out of a wet paper bag. 

Li Lianhua, sitting opposite him, merely took the statement in stride. 

“Good luck on your endeavours,” the man told him, his bowl still more than half full. Half because he ate so slowly, and half because Fang Duobing kept piling more vegetables into it. 

“Wait, wait,” Fang Duobing waved his arms as Di Feisheng stood from the bench, catching their attention. He looked between Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng with concern. “Did something happen? I thought we agreed yesterday to do this together? We spent a week getting here!”

“Something came up,” Di Feisheng repeated, but then amended with a thought, “Go tomorrow. I’ll join you. Do something else today.”

“Like what?” Fang Duobing asked, bewildered.

“There’s a leak in the corner upstairs. Fix that.”

At that, Fang Duobing’s concern slid toward irritation. “Why me? It’s your room, too! You should help!”

“A-Fei,” Li Lianhua interjected smoothly, and Di Feisheng looked down toward him as he set his bowl down to pick up a cup of tea. “You’ll be back tomorrow, then?”

Underneath the cool nonchalance were sharp eyes turned his direction, and Di Feisheng didn’t bother to acknowledge or deny it. 

“Or today.” He said, because it was true. Should the day pass over to the next, he would be back. Should it not pass to the next day, then he would wake in Lotus Tower regardless. 

He called for Wuyan once he was a good distance away, and when the man appeared, Di Feisheng told him, “Today, I will join the search.”

That day, he directed his people around and up a stream, and that night he slept in an unfamiliar inn at an unfamiliar town, surrounded by those of the Jinyuan Alliance in the adjacent rooms, yet his heart continued to be uneasy over the difference in how he woke that day. 

— 

Di Feisheng wakes in Lotus Tower to the sound of early morning birds chirping and sunlight just starting to peek through the horizon through the blinds of the room. Fang Duobing’s elbow was jabbing him in the side, and the sense of relief he felt was so acute it was nearly a physical sensation. 

He goes downstairs in his night clothes and once more stares until Li Lianhua drags himself out of bed with sleepy complaints. 

“I have been living this day again and again.” Di Feisheng told him quietly as they waited for the water to boil for tea. “I have found different ways to predict events, and different secrets you have told me to help me in the next repeat, but I don’t believe you need to know any of that to believe me.”

“So you’re not going to tell me if a lightning strike suddenly breaks through the clouds?” Li Lianhua asked, a hand holding his sleeve back as he scooped tea leaves. The gesture was elegant, sure, and Di Feisheng watched as he carefully poured the near boiling water into the teapot, and then lifted the teapot to swirl the liquid around before emptying the first pour into a bowl to be dumped later. 

As he refilled the teapot, Di Feisheng responded, “That doesn’t happen. I thought I would need proof for you to believe me, but now I realise you’ve never disbelieved me.”

“You’re not the type to lie,” Li Lianhua said. “Especially not about strange events.”

It was true, but not merely in the sense that Di Feisheng didn’t waste time bothering with petty lies and made up stories. Every single time he revealed the repeat of days, Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing went along with whatever he said. If he claimed he was living the same day over and over and they needed to go elsewhere, then the three of them went elsewhere. If he claimed to know what happened and that they should delay a day, then they delayed a day.

It was a heady feeling, knowing that he could say something and they would go along with it, no matter how strange. 

Or perhaps, because of how strange his explanation was. 

Li Lianhua directed the second pour into two small teacups, and then set the teapot back down, releasing his sleeve and flicking his wrists to smooth out the cloth, actions so perfunctory he likely never noticed just how fussy he looked. 

Di Feisheng smiled at the action, picking up a teacup to savour the warmth and smell of it.

Li Lianhua narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.” Di Feisheng told him, still smiling. He imitated Li Lianhua’s movement to draw attention to the superfluousness of it. It looked even more ridiculous when he did it, with his sleeves coiled up under his bracers. “You’re exceptionally vain.”

The other man looked affronted. “Is it vain to keep a clean appearance? I think you’re not using that word correctly, Lao Di.”

Di Feisheng downed the tea in one swallow like wine, savouring the burn on this tongue. It was a warmth that spread down his throat and through his chest, and he savoured it. 

Setting the cup back on the table with a click, he said, “Come with me today. We’ll untether the horses and ride out.”

Li Lianhua raised a brow, hands cradling the warmth of his own teacup without drinking it. “You want me to leave my house?”

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” Di Feisheng stated. One way or another, it would be true. We’ll go now.”

“We should wake Xiaobao up if—”

“He’ll find us.” Di Feisheng interjected. He hadn’t planned on keeping their tracks secret, and if Fang Duobing couldn’t find them, then… well, that would be a lesson to the young man to learn better tracking skills. Already, he pushed himself up from the bench and reached out a hand. “Another thing to teach that disciple of yours.”

Li Lianhua gave him a strange look at the extended hand, but then allowed Di Feisheng to pull him up off the seat. 

Di Feisheng was smiling again, with the cool, calloused hand within his own. 

Li Lianhua sighed. “At least let me leave a message before he accuses us of leaving him behind again.”

[romcomeon]

「 ꨄ︎ 」 𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 .ᐟ

⁀➴ humans were much more fragile than he thought.

⋮ NOTE DETAILS — mammon x gn!mc. careless scars. wc ≈ 1K .ᐟ

"What's.. I... how do ya even injure yourself like THIS!?"

"I... don't know...?"

You gave an awkward smile. Eyes shaking from what remained of the adrenaline rush, your hands resting atop your stomach while you lie down on the couch.

"Oh for fuck's sake, treasure," Mammon cursed, removing his sunglasses as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Seriously, you barely even started your day. There you were: bedridden and partly immobile, with every sway of your leg hurting a tad more than the last.

Not that you can say anything, but it was a careless accident.

...

It was more careless than it was accidental. The shelves within the grand library at the House of Lamentation were far beyond your reach. By genius design, you had no choice but to use the dark spook tree ladder that was left isolated to the corner shelves.

You could try to use magic, though you are unfamiliar with the general book's looks, for you only knew the title and the name of the author. 'course you also had the option to ask Satan for guidance, but the blonde had whisked himself away to the barricaded doors of the attic --- who knew what he and the youngest had planned for their measly prank.

And who knew how slippery unattended furniture can get.

You have not a choice: by deduction, the best course of action was to use the ladder and manually look for it yourself.

With the success of finding the book, surely a long, carpentered, intricately designed slab of wood wouldn't betray you. Now would it?

The first step downward was manageable.

The second step caused the old ladder to wobble, near stumbling back to the floor; yet otherwise stood still as you maintained balance.

As the third step came, as if by some imaginary liquid, you missed. You lost your grip.

There you came tumbling down with the sharp wooden edges grazing against your leg. And then you landed on the floor, upright, yes, but your left leg stuck against the fifth to the last step.

Your leg a swollen red, a long scratch from your ankle stretched upward towards the lower knee - where blood dripped down the open scar.

"Shhh...f-" you hissed, taking your leg off the ladder and- oh. You might've misplaced a bone there. You had to drag your leg up to a nearby couch, taking sharp deep breaths to take your mind off the pain.

...

So that was the story. When you told Mammon the first time, he gave you a dumbfounded look. Nonetheless, when he found you, he was worried as hell.

Beyond the grave.

But the golden boy had to rush and rummage through every cabinet to find the human-safe emergency kit. You admit, it was adorable watching him slip from his "superiority" facade.

Ahhhh.. your train of thought came to a halt at the stinging sensation. Causing your leg to jerk up, but Mammon held it down by the knee.

"Aye- Don't move," he said, while he tried to gently disinfect the scar with the isopropyl alcohol. Not a sensation you weren't familiar with, but god it burns.

"I'm sorry, but, could you please go a little faster?"

"Ya sure, human?" he scoffed. His finger traced along the long bump of the scratch, watching the skin scorch crimson before he shook his head. "Nuh uh."

You tilt your head up to get a better look at your golden boy, raising a brow. "What do you mean 'nuh uh'?"

"Ain't no way I'm leavin' ya alone after pullin' that stunt."

"It's just once!" You raised your hands in feigned surrender. "I'll be careful next time."

Mammon huffed his cheeks in a pout, grabbing the wool bandage off the red box. Carefully wrapping it around your calf, careful not to put too much pressure on your shin, lest you kick his face.

"Bullshit," he muttered. There were more words said, yet you couldn't seem to make them out. His usual voice in an ever soft tone: slurred words that only he could comprehend.

You did manage to catch a string of words. "not on my fuckin' watch you aren't" while he tries to fix the jumbled up bandage.

Seriously, it looked good but tying it together had always been a challenge. After all, the great avatar of greed was more known for breaking things unloose, not putting them back together.

He tried. Mammon tried. Not the best of the best, but Mammon tried his best.

You can't help but give a soft smile, watching him mumble curses as he finally figured out how to tidy up the loose ends: finding the metallic clip and pinching it on there in hopes that it sticks.

He lifts his gaze one more time to meet yours. This time, Mammon was the one raising his brow. Looking annoyed, but his intrigue was betrayed by the curious glint of his tinted sapphire eyes.

"Whatcha lookin' at me for?"

A small chuckle escaped your lips, tilting your head to the side. "Thank you."

Two words. Mammon scoffed, averting his gaze. "S-shut up. Of course ya should thank me!!" as by virtue it is a great honour to be served by the GREAT Mammon.

Though you lay there, smiling like an idiot in his eyes. How you're transfixed with the cherry red creeping up on his tan cheeks, how he subconsciously purse his lips, puffing his cheeks to not let his words betray him. How despite everything he says, he still works his way to tend to you.

To care for you. To love you.

Or to simply keep you company when no one else could. Honestly, it made the future all the less scary. The uncertainty is all the less terrifying. The possibility of your bones giving up just feels all the more natural than ill-driven.

While selfish, greedy to an extent, you figured worrying in the future might just be a hoax. A fantasy in your head.

They say to get your head out the gutter, yet you couldn't help but examine each worse case scenario.

And if it's with him to your aid? It will all feel right.

note.s : lesson learned, always watch your step when climbing down ladders.

check out my masterlist | divider by adornedwithlight

[bunnyrafe]

s2!rafe hurts you— just like everyone said he would.

♥︎ 𝓃otes: i do not support, condone or encourage this behavior / abuse by any means. it is purely fiction xoxo

it always starts and ends the same. beginning with rafe and his substance problems, and wrapping up with you crying— sometimes even on the ground. your friends tell you that you're brainwashed, but you never listen to their reasoning.

rafe is rafe— he's yours, and you're his. no one takes care of you like he does... until it all reaches it’s breaking point and his heavy hand is wrapped around your throat, nearly choking you to the point of no return. to where you're seconds away from your fleeting life flashing before your glassy eyes, of course.

because he's high again, and when he's high his fuse is even shorter than it normally is, but it’s never been this bad.

all you did was wince when he got too close to you— because you could smell it on him. that chemical, propane-like smell that he tries to hide by sniffling frantically and wiping at his nose. as if the drip at the back of his throat isn't torturing him... as if his jaw isn't clenched so tight as he speaks to you, as he hurts you.

"fuckin' hate that shit," he grits through his teeth so hard that you're afraid they may crack like porcelain as you watch him with equally tearful and wild eyes, attempting to claw at his wrist while he forces your head to shake around with his harsh grip on your fragile neck, "i'll— i can fuckin' give you somethin' t’be scared of if that's what you want."

he already is. he already has. you’re gasping for air, trying to hiccup his name out to get him to stop— even as your lungs begin to burn and your eyelids feel heavier, and heavier. the reality that you’re going to die by his hands becomes more real by the second, but you’re unable to cry anymore tears. unable to blubber out anything else as you fight to cling onto that last bit of life in you.

only for you to drop to your knees once his grip relents. they ache due to how hard you hit the floor, and your hands go flying out in front of you to ground yourself. all while rafe curses above you.

“look— fuck— come back to me, baby.” he’s rambling again, making your head spin even more as you fight to fill your aching chest back up with oxygen, try to endure the feeling of your heart pounding in your ears as he speaks, “i didn’t— listen to me— i wasn’t gonna go that far— i don’t know what… i don’t know what happened, okay?”

you see his feet moving out of the corner of your eye, pacing beside you— uncaring of the heap you’re in on the floor, as tears stream down your pretty yet exhausted and puffy face. you realize now that everyone warned you for a reason, a reason that is so far beyond his addiction— even his own sister.

[quickstappen]

track 001: end of the beginning

A/N: hello, welcome to another smau i guess, enjoy? this is the real reason why the latest part of carved my name was up so late yall ;) oscar won his first race and i had to do something!! i'm sorry to all the carlos fans, but someone's gotta be the bad guy, yk?

masterlist | next

december 2020

liked by prema_team, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz I can't believe it is time to go, it still doesn't feel real. Thank you for those amazing years together, for the memories and happiness, I couldn't wish for better team, better friends, I love you all and I'll miss you tremendously. Cheers to the next chapter in our lives.

see all comments...

prema_team We'll miss you vice-champ! Make sure to visit when you're around ❤️

↳ paola_sainz of course! I'll visit so much you'll get sick of me ;)

sainzssss_ noooooooo, what???

shithappens what. the. fuck.

carlossainz55 Excited for your new journey! Now you can spend more time in my garage 🔥😎

↳ paola_sainz yeah, im so excited too!

↳ quickstappen this seems... dry

↳ albono_23 right???

ilpredestinatox oh noo! you were the reason i decided to follow my dreams and go to college for mechanical engineering, i can't believe you're not gonna be racing anymore

↳ paola_sainz oh sweetie, i'm so glad you're following your dreams! dm me if you have any enfeneering problems - i can ask around and get back to you ;)

↳ nyoomf1 she's so sweet 🥹

arthur_leclerc I'll miss your annoying face you know? (only a tiny bit)

↳ paola_sainz acting like you won't see me at basically every race anyway (i'll miss you too) 🤍

↳ arthur_leclerc 🤍

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february 2024

liked by arthur_leclerc, jensonbutton and others

paola_sainz does it ever drive you crazy...?

3 years ago i was broken beyond recognition, i lost my purpose and will to carry on, i thought that without racing i was noone. to think that the same girl just sold out her first collection of athletic wear is absolutely crazy, i can't believe how far we've come and i can't wait to see what else we can do

see all comments...

carlando333 girl 💀💀

↳ ilpredestinatox what do you mean, tf

↳ carlando333 Carlos literally just lost his seat for next year

↳ ilpredestinatox well, this is not carlos' page is it? she's not his keeper, she's allowed to be her own person

cuddlyxricc can she like,, read the room?

byelandoo lol, she does not care about the ferrari drama AT ALL

carlove55 are you gonna comment on the carlos situation??

shithappens she looked so happy when she was racing 🥺 i still can't accept that i'll never see her in a f1 car

↳ quickstappen right??

arthur_leclerc i am going to model the next collection

↳ paola_sainz don't know if you've noticed, but i make WOMEN'S athletic wear

↳ arthur_leclerc you just don't want to see me slay

↳ paola_sainz do not say slay ever again

charlosp1 💀

spanishxbabe so Carlos means nothing to you?

jensonbutton So proud! Brittany loves her set 🧡

↳ paola_sainz 🧡

charles_leclerc Knew you could do it Lola 🤍

↳ paola_sainz thank you for believing in me Charlie 🤍

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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz oh baby, how good to see you again!

(also, charles_leclerc go and win me a race please, i don't know how many forza ferrari sempre's i have left in me)

see all comments...

shithappens i'm sorry, is that a man? with my wife?

quickstappen queen is back in paddock!

arthur_leclerc so the ones with me in them were not good enough to make it, but the random one with him tying you're shoelaces made it?

↳ paola_sainz guess so, try harder next time

screwderriaf1 she's so real for that, Charles for WDC2024

↳ ilpredestinatox GIRL, be so fr rn

↳ screwderriaf1 just let me dream man

carlando333 oh come on! she doesn't care about carlos at all! fucking snake, thinking she's better than him🐍

logansargeant nice of you to visit old friends

↳ paola_sainz we're literally going for lunch tomorrow?

↳ sheilaxf1 they know each other??

↳ lewibear yeahh, since her time at prema i'm pretty sure

charles_leclerc Yeah, no pressure right

↳ paola_sainz you know it ;)

charlosp1 did she really say that she wishes that charles won and not her brother who's fighting for his future this season 💀

redmilton Paola Sainz soft launching a white man in the year 2024 was not on my bingo card

cuddlyxricc sorry but first no comment on carlos' seat and now this? yeah no, not cool

elmatadorf1 traitor! rooting for charles when your brother lost his seat because of him 🐍

madi_races is my girlfriend in a relationship with a.... man??

predestined55 absolutely no honour, not surprised tbh after seeing who she hangs out with 🐍

darth_nando can we please stop mentioning Carlos in every comment section under her posts? it's so unnecessary

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paola's messages:

YouTube, Screaming Meals | now playing:

↳ 01:52s - - - > - 04:37s

↳ 21:46s - - - > - 29:31s

↳ 52:14s - - - >- 1:08:11s

paola's messages:

madi's radio: okay look, the text between Spanish speakers.... i do not know Spanish and putting entire conversations through google translate is not the best, so let's just pretend they're in Spanish, yeah?

click here to be added to the hiding in the seams taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[feyascorner]

Guys, listen, Astarion is definitely good with eyeliner. You find this out even before the two of you realize your affection for one another. It takes him seconds to just do a perfect stroke and he acts like it's the most normal thing in the world.

So when he sees you trying to do eyeliner on yourself, he's borderline appalled.

"Gods, please don't tell me that's your honest attempt at a wing."

Obviously embarrassed, you shriek at him to get out of your tent because hells know why he's even here at the crack of dawn, but he just scoffs and ignores your pleas. He sits himself down in front of you, taking the pen and lifting your chin up to him so he can do it himself.

“Stay still, or else you’ll smudge it, darling.”

Astarion’s hands expertly maneuver the pen, his fingers tilting your head as he leans in close enough for you to feel your cheeks turn warm. His eyes are glued to where the eyeliner touches your skin while you can’t help but stare at his own eyes. He can still see the remains of your own attempt, and he thinks it's almost adorable how much of a struggle there was---even if he still finds it beyond unacceptable.

"There," he grins proudly, his fang poking out beneath his top lip as he holds a mirror to your face. "I know it's not what you were trying to do--I'm not even sure if your technique was functional--but this shape suits those pretty eyes of yours far better."

And as you stare at yourself in your reflection, he sees your eyes go wide, marveling at the sheer difference he's made in just a few moments. His chest swells with pride as you whip your head to him, practically beaming. "This is amazing, Astarion! How did you do that?"

"Decades of experience and undeniable talent. Mostly the latter."

"Can you teach me?"

"I doubt you could do it as efficiently as these hands do, but I could offer you a few generous tips, I suppose," he shrugs, barely managing to mask his own emotions. "For a price, of course."

You cock a brow. "A price?"

"A kiss, my dear," he leans the side of his face to you. "Right here."

And to his surprise, you do it with no hesitation. Your lips feel warm against his skin. Soft, too. And when you pull back, you're smiling sheepishly. The kiss is far too brief for his liking, but it doesn't stop the way he blinks, eyes widening in disbelief that you'd even done it in the first place.

"I'll be right back after I show Karlach," you say, already halfway out the tent flap. "Stay here, okay? Don't run off before you teach me."

He's left by himself in the tent, still hung up on the kiss, before he realizes how ridiculous it is to fret on such a minor display of affection. He's kissed dozens--no, hundreds--of people, he's sure. All sorts of people, and he knows most, if not all of them, had been more long-lasting than this.

So why the hells he thinks he prefers your simple peck on the cheek more than anyone else's, he doesn't know.

Brows furrowing, Astarion stares at the pen lying where you'd been sitting.

He decides to start doing your eyeliner more often.

[knoxic]

How to be a High Lady? part 2

Eris Vanserra x Mate!Reader

Summary: Reader's first meeting as a HL, Rhysand makes some comments and reader chews him out, then smut🤭

wc: 2k

warnings: Feysand slander, cursing and a shit ton of dialogue

a/n: the way there's so little of Eris here...sorry😔 but I'll make up for it if I make a part 3, with just the two of them, maybe their domestic lives and doing High Lord & Lady things in Autumn, idk maybe smut?

part 1

How they met

Their morning was slow, starting with lazy cuddles in bed followed by an easy breakfast. Her daily meditation helped gather her thoughts and feelings about the meeting ahead, when she focused on it, she could see flashes of messy handwriting and a dark room.

Dressing for the meeting took longer than she'd expected, Eris being the last one to finish so he could match her dress, it had turned into a habit now for him to combine his vest with her dresses or corsets.

After getting through her first meeting, their arrival this time was easier, not caring if people were staring at her or whispering behind her back, she knew today would be tough and her mind was set straight. They were the last ones to arrive, which was weird, she'd made sure they weren't late. The meeting started smoothly, but it didn't remain that way.

"I'm just saying, it'd be better if we cooperated..." Feyre chimed in when no one agreed with Rhysand's words. After hearing those contradictory words she couldn't not intervene.

"No offense, Feyre, but I don't think you're the best person to say that." She said, hoping that it wouldn't cause Rhysand to come for her neck yet. Feyre was stunned for a moment, clearly taken aback.

"And why is that?"

"We can't cooperate if the other part is deceitful."

"Are you calling my High Lady a liar?" Cassian roughly uttered.

"No." Her voice was steady, not showing any traces of fear, because this time she was, in fact, fearless. "I'm saying, how can we know if you're trustworthy when most of your court doesn't even trust you? How can we trust that you won't ruin our courts, like you've done before."

"Again you go speaking of my court." Rhysand growled. "You've been High Lady for a day and think you know everything. Tell me, you seem so sure of what goes beyond my wards... have you been in my court before?" Every word he spoke carried an generous amount of venom.

"No, and I have no desire to do so."

"Then how the fuck do you know so much? Are you a fucking witch or what?" His eyebrows danced showing how pissed he was, apparently not knowing everything seemed to have that effect on him.

The possibilities of what could happen depending on what she responded were running through her head, her first response would be to deny but if she did and they figured it out, which they probably would eventually, she'd be a treacherous witch and that was...

"Yes. I am a witch." The silence in the room was deafening, her ears were ringing, "And so far, my powers have only showed me objects in need of help, faes, humans... courts. I do what I can to help them–"

"I've lived in Night Court for centuries, I helped them, I made things better, I ruled them, you have no right to suddenly decide the way I rule my court is not enough, you don't know." Rhysand growled.

"But I do," her words were firm, matching his tone, "They're not my people and its not my court, but they need someone to care for them, most people in Hewn City have never seen the sky above their heads because they're trapped under a fucking mountain. Have it ever occurred to you that there may be innocent people living there? Children, like your son–"

"Watch it–" Azriel spat. She changed courses.

"Have it occurred to you that maybe they despise you because you never showed them empathy? Instead of trying to gain their approval by providing you could be a good High Lord, you locked them up." She never faltered, every word was spoken loud and clear.

Night's High Lord was fuming, if yesterday she thought his eyes promised death, now they were death. Sharp pain ran across the thick walls she built around her mind, as if claws had just taken a hold of her brain, causing her eyebrows to furrowed as a sharp gasp left her mouth. Thankfully, she spent years working on her mind and everything beyond, and with a strong spell to protect her body, it wouldn't be so easy for him to get through her mind.

"Rhysand!" Eris hissed, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. She needed to act before Eris attacked him, it wouldn't be pretty.

"If you wanted to see it for yourself, you could've just asked." She teased, but it was true, she would've showed him if he wanted her to. She opened her walls and launched him every memories she had of his people, every small shot her gift had shown her of them.

Rhysand's mouth twitched, his frown deepening. She wasn't sure if it was from being unable to break his way through her mind or because the image she told him about was true. Feyre's expression soured and she could imagine that they were having a mind conversation right at that moment, maybe he showed her the images too.

"That's not true" She said. Was that not enough?

"But it is."

"Certainly you've been wrong before." Rhysand uttered, his voice close to a growl.

"No. If it's shown to me, it's true." If they still didn't believe, she might as well tell them how it works, "If I see something, it's because it has happened or will happen soon, I'm able to differentiate them and when I can prevent them from happening, I do. What I showed you has already happened– has been happening for centuries."

"Have you seen things from other courts?" Tarquin's voice was hesitant, "Summer?" He eyes the other High Lords, all of them silently agreeing with his question.

"Well, yes. I saw Spring's downfall but it was too late, and–" Eris' hot hand on her arm made her look at him, searching for any traces that could show he wanted to maintain secrecy, she found none. "Autumn's genocide."

"That's why you took over..." Tamlin whispered, looking at Eris who gave a simple, almost imperceptible, nod in response.

"How long have you been seeing our court in your..."

"Memories. They're memories, from other people, from now and from the future. A couple years, at first I tried to gather information about what happened there but... it was well hidden."

"Oh–"

"Why'd you never say anything? If you were oh so worried about them." Mor sarcastically spoke. For someone who knows what is like living there, she's embarrassingly hypocritical.

"Would it have changed anything? By the time I stopped looking for them, Feyre was already here. Things changed–"

"And she became High Lady, did you not think you could have talked to her, if you're so sure I wouldn't have done anything." She should be cautious, but then, she had been playing with fire for over a century now. She was almost vibrating with the need to speak what she really thought, but her neck was at risk.

"What, little witchy lost her words? Or did your gift make an appearance?" Rhysand smirked at her. Fuck it.

"Feyre was barely fae at the time and being honest... she doesn't even have that much credibility does she?" His smirk fell, the room filled with dense darkness, hands tried to grasp at her but were pushed back by the wards she'd silently set around herself and Eris, knowing they'd come for him too. It was ancient magic, not that easy to break.

"Rhysand! Stop!" A chorus of commands for him to control himself. Eris' and Helion's power lit up the spacious room, the latter using his powers to hold and push Rhysand back, extremely bright light making the room clear again, after all, he was in his home court. In the midst of darkness, Eris had pulled her to her feet to stand behind him, their hands wrapped around the other's waist.

"If you can't control yourselves I suggest you leave, go fight somewhere else!" Helion shouted.

"Helion, I think this is a matter for our meeting, if she knows things, we should hear." Kallias spoke calmly, not trying to set any of us off, he glanced in Rhysand's direction, who was being held back by Feyre with a hand on his arm. Helion seemed to ponder Kallias words, eyeing her and Rhysand and their mates.

"Fine, behave, or I'll ban all of you."

"You can't possibly think I'll just stand and whatch her talking about my mate like that!" Rhysand spat incredulous, Feyre tapped his arm to gather his attention.

"Let's listen to what she has to say." Feyre said, looking back at her friends, trying to hold them back, Mor leaned back against Feyre's chair, where she'd been since they arrived, she'd gladly stand back and watch as Cassian and Azriel ripped Eris to pieces.

"Bullshit, obviously." Their General uttered, still staring her down until Eris blocked his view of her.

"Alright, continue..." Rhysand spoke, staring her up and down before sitting back in his chair, Cassian watched him before stepping back, Azriel still glared at her as he did the same. Clearly Rhysand had just told them to back off. "Go on. What were you saying about my High Lady?" She calmly pulled back from Eris, gently grasping his hand and pulling him so they could sit back down too, taking a deep breath before signing their 'enemies' certificate.

"Your own 'Inner Circle' doesn't respect her commands, how would she change the way a whole city runs?" Rhysand banged a hand against the arm of his chair while Feyre's mouth fell open, his growl echoing through the room before he lunged forward.

"Out, now!" Helion stood up and pointed to the door, "Now, Rhysand."

Rhysand was practically foaming when he left, snatching a hand around Feyre's waist before winnowing out, the other three following quickly after giving her nasty looks, if she didn't know them, she'd think they were cursing her. The tense atmosphere in the room was rough to bear.

"Are you alright?" A soft voice asked her. Viviane.

"Yes."

"That was really brave, badass." She smiled.

"Brave indeed, I can't tell if you're lucky or just that powerful. I don't know how you're still alive..." Thesan laughed incredulous.

"She wouldn't defy him if she didn't know she could take it." Eris smirked, squeezing her hand in reassurance. While she was bragging about her, she noticed Helion with his fingers massaging his temples.

"We can leave if you want, I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable," talking a look around the room she noticed all of them looking at her, "any of you."

"I think Rhys needed someone to throw the shit he does to his face, none of us were really able to do it, you did, and it was nice to watch." Tamlin said, amusement written all over his face.

"I agree, the Inner Circle has done and said things we don't agree, but any time we tried to mention it they'd just turn the situation over, would pretend it didn't happen that way or that it wasn't so bad. Rhysand and Feyre both need to see that they're not as good and right as they think they are, someone to humble them could be of use." Tarquin smiled lightly and gave her a wink.

"Do they really not respect her? I had seen signs of it but... they seem so close that I just brushed it off." Helion waved a hand while speaking.

"Is not that they don't respect her, I think they just don't take her seriously. I mean, compared to them she is still a child, she grew up too soon but she's still immature. I don't know why Rhysand made her a High Lady but it doesn't change the fact that, he gave her the title, she didn't know anything about being a High Lady and barely knew anything about our world. Maybe she'd make a good one if she knew what to do, but she just sits and lets her judgment be set by what Rhysand says." She seemed to have a talent to make people go quiet. After a moment of silence, everyone pondering what they just heard, Day's High Lord spoke.

"You're definitely something."

[banj0possum]

Zombie Horde x AMAB transfem/gn reader who is working to find a cure for the zombie epidemic?

Like I was imagining reader works in a lab that is then overrun, and reader attempts to flee the horde or secretly continue their experiments when they aren’t looking.

Eventually maybe reader gets used to it and decides to take advantage of the “willing” and (usually) non-violent test subjects.

Love ur work btw <3

i havent given you guys your dose of zombie bitches lately so here ya go <3 this can be also be read as gn maybe

Zombie Horde x MtF!Reader Who's Looking for a Cure

CW: i will make you sob at the end istg, a bit of ewuh body stuff

💀 You've been trying to find a cure ever since the first wave of the epidemic, but the virus spread so quickly that you had to halt your research and flee the city, getting in your car after loading all your equipment and supplies in the trunk and driving off.

💀 Now, after just a few months, you were living in a symbiotic relationship with the very things you swore to destroy. At that point, you've forgotten all about the cure, thinking that there was no more hope on this earth for rehabilitation.

💀 But while lying down in your zombie husband pile at night, the idea sparked in your brain yet again, making you sit up, Ribs' head falling from your shoulder, waking him up.

💀 "S-sorry! So sorry Hun! Uhm..I gotta get something!" You pat Ribs' head before stumbling out of your bed, careful not to trip over the others. Bo blinks a bit before getting up and following you.

💀 You hear a low purr behind you as you were putting on your jacket and backpack and see Bo with a pleading, sleepy face. please come back..it's cold... you could imagine him saying. You chuckle and give him a kiss on the nose. "I'll be back, I promise!" and you run off outside to the parking lot.

💀 You retrieve your supplies from your old car, it's dusty and a bit dirty but the papers you've written were still readable.

💀 You carry the box of stuff back with you, Screw and Soda waiting for you and cocking their heads at the sight of their little mate carrying a box full of tubes and paper.

💀 The horde curiously watches you search through the papers, sometimes writing things down. You mumble soft words they didn't understand whilst looking over two or more papers.

💀 Eventually, you circle a string of letters and numbers and you hold your head in your hands with wide eyes, Screw crawls up to you cooing and you turn to him with the biggest smile on your face.

💀 "I think I got it.."

💀 He cocks his head with a chirp.

💀 "I have the cure..."

💀 You would've never considered it, but with your new discovery of visible consciousness in infected subjects, brain recovery and even bodily recovery can be possible, you just had to find a solution that can increase the body's constructive systems.

💀 You would forge for materials far beyond where you usually searched and would meet up with other survivors to exchange goods in order to conduct your research.

💀 Of course, your husbands were willing to help you, once you told them about your plan, they were so happy! Flesh like yours? Count us in! Ribs especially wants to help; he very much wants his torso back...

💀 The first tests weren't very fruitful but gave interesting results, one experiment with Bo included an injection to his arm, which made his heart beat for a few seconds before slowing and stopping like it was before.

💀 You would also see signs of growth, both Screw and Soda's wounds would appear to be healing themselves.

💀 After a few months of experimentation, you were starting to give up, the boys' wounds and lost body parts being unable to grow back.

💀 It was alright for you though, you never really expected to find the cure so easily, and you weren't sure if it could even work on other zombies.

💀 At least the boys looked a bit better than before though, their hair could grow like a human's and their limps were gone, their joints rejuvenated and no longer rigid, allowing them to move like a normal human and not a living corpse.

💀 You thought that was all that you got from your experiments when..

💀 "(Y-Y/N)?"

💀 That...voice? It sounds familiar somehow...

💀 "Babygirl? Can you hear me?" the voice says again, it was gruff with a bit of a southern accent.

💀 "That's not her name!" Another voice, more higher pitched that the first.

💀 "It's a nickname Ribs!" One quietly says.

💀 Your neck almost snaps at the speed you turned back.

💀 "Uhm..hey there babes.." Bo says awkwardly.

💀 Looks like their vocal chords grew back too...

[sreyaya]

Halo :DDD!

If requests are still open, can I request Subby! Norton with a Gn! Reader please I want to just milk his stress out and leaving him all relaxed and whimpering muehehehehe

There's not enough Sub Norton fics this is a crime I just want to ride hi-

Hard Work Pays Off

Norton Campbell x Fem!Reader NSFW

Content Warning: cnc, somnophilia, riding, slight sub!Norton, implied edging, light overstim MDNI

(A/n: The thristy inboxes are eating me of guilt, here's something small i cooked, I'LL WRITE ANOTHER ONE SOON, I PROMISE OOMFS</3)

smut under the cut!

It was undeniable, Norton’s dedication and how hardworking he is becomes the many reasons you fell for him. Day in and day out, he poured himself into his work, often going above and beyond, helping others with their match schedules, and even taking on their shifts when they couldn’t. But in all honesty, his tireless efforts often left him more utterly drained than satisfied, going as far as pushing him to the edge of exhaustion, exactly just like tonight where his commitment had taken its toll.

After agreeing to cover for the mercenary, he barely made it into the bedroom before collapsing into a deep, heavy slumber. As you stood there, watching him, your heart ached with a mix of concern and admiration for the man you loved so deeply. You knew he needed rest, but seeing him so worn out pops a small imaginary light bulb above you, a mischevious thought supposedly.

Truly it's not like you had never thought about it before, which led you into asking for consent a couple months back if it did happen, and that of course, is taking him in fully whilst asleep. With small touches, you nudged him, making sure he was deeply asleep. Smiling in satisfaction, you carefully climbed onto his lap, straddling his lower abdomen.

Slowly, you began to remove your pants, leaving only your undergarment on. The cool air sent a shiver down your spine as you settled yourself, feeling the heat of Norton's body beneath you. You started to grind against him, hands on his abdomen as you move your hips in slow, deliberate circles. The friction sent waves of pleasure through your body as you could feel him respond, his length amusingly growing beneath you. Each leisure movement brought a soft whimper to his lips, his eyebrows furrowing together as he bit his bottom lip in his sleep.

Feeling much more urgent than before, you reached down and pulled his bottoms down, revealing his impressive member in all its glory. His length was already flushed, a bead of precum leaking from the slit. The sight of him like this, hard and ready, sent a rush through you. Your hands trembled with suspense as you positioned yourself over Norton, your breath quickening, looking at his calm yet blushed face, ready to take him in fully, to feel every inch of him, feeling your desires pooling beneath you before lowering yourself onto his length.

As you took him in, inch by inch, a gasp escaped your lips, your minds shouting alarms each time you pushed deeper. Norton stirred beneath you, his body instinctively responding to your presence. You moved slowly at first, allowing yourself to adjust to the fullness of him. Each movement sent pleasure through your body as you closed your eyes.

Norton groaned softly, his hands twitching as if seeking you out in his sleep. You leaned forward, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath. You began to move more deliberately, frustratingly trying to reach out towards your desired spot. The friction between your bodies releasing more sweat as your love juices mixed together.

It didn't take much before Norton arose from his slumber, slowly waking up with sensations of pleasure drawing him to his consciousness. You watched raptly as his face changed to delight, his parted lips releasing soft moans and groans, all music for your ears. Riding him, you smiled with pride, feeling his breath grow ragged and much more desperate with each motion. In that moment, he looked both charming and irresistibly cute.

Your movements too became more urgent, the combination of the pleasure from where you were connected sent him over. His eyes growing puffy from the overstimulation present. "Hold on, baby. Please, 'm close, slow down", he whimpered out. One arm currently covering his eyes as his other one desperately holding onto your hips whilst releasing more whimpers below you.

You kept playing with him, constantly stopping or slowing down every time his breath hitched. Whispering sweet nothings to his ears as they grew redder and redder with every word. You were his weakness and you knew that. Adding another sharp thrust, your gummy walls stretching out as the warmth felt surreal for Norton, his eyes glistening more and more due to the pleasure, his erection dripping more and more inside you, begging to finish as soon as possible.

As you finally reached the peak of your pleasure, your body shuddered with the force of your climax. The gut feeling washed over you in over and over again, your body trembling from the sudden release. Norton’s hands tightened on your hips, his own pleasure mirroring yours as he reached his peak. His eyes opened fully, locking onto yours, as his whimpers filled the room up.

You slowed your movements, allowing both of you to come down gently from the heights of pleasure. Leaning forward, you pressed a tender kiss to his lips, feeling the connection between you deepening with every touch.

“You cheeky lil' girl ”, he whispered, his voice hoarse and filled with emotion. “You always know exactly what I need". You smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “I love you, Norton, just wanted to take care of you.”

He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you in a warm and loving embrace. "And you do, every single day. I’m so lucky to have you.”

[yanfeisty]

— Voicelines about Creator!Reader (Liyue) ♡ ！

⊹ [ characters ] — Beidou, Chongyun, Ganyu, Hu Tao, Keqing, Ningguang, Qiqi, Shenhe, Xiangling, Xiao, Xingqiu, Xinyan, Yanfei, Yaoyao, Yelan, Yun Jin & Zhongli. ◞

⊹ [ synopsis ] — let's see what they think about you. ◞

⊹ [ cw ] — religious theme. ◞

⠀‣ Beidou

About The Creator: Relaxation

"We had to bring them to Inazuma for a few times, apparently they really wanted to travel with The Crux. Take important person like this isn't really what we do but you know my eye for people, Y/n seemed to be more than what we heard, they were a good travel buddy, playing with the crew and telling interesting stories from another world. Sad, the guards with them don't let them drink 'A drunk God in Inazuma? What would they think?'... But who cares what they think, they should let them have a bit of fun!"

About The Creator: Consort

"You can say traveling has brought us closer, haha! I'm really happy to have find someone like them. I'll never forget the celebration we had on the ship, the weather was kind to us this day, and the food was far better than what we're used to eat, and how could I forgot the drinks, I never saw Y/n that... wild, it's quite the experience, but it's good to see them without having to worry about anything."

⠀

⠀‣ Chongyun

About The Creator

"Like me they have an energy that keeps away evil spirits from them, I suppose spirits are too scared to approach in fear of vanishing into fin air. So, I wonder why people still ask me thinking they need an exorcism, last time, we called me because apparently the Creator had an unusual behavior, rambling unknown words beyond any language experts' knowledge, turned out they just had too many drinks with the leader of The Crux..."

⠀

⠀‣ Ganyu

About The Creator: Relating

"The Qixing had to work a few times with them, and I noticed they always seem a bit anxious so I always try to help them when I can, maybe it's also because I relate to them a bit, they are our Creator but they act more like a mortal, they are trapped between two worlds, leading to confusion not only for them but also others, which would always lead to critiques..."

About The Creator: Consort

"I have still a lot to finish about this, people from all regions will come so we need to strengthen the Millelith to keep everything in order, the music group that was supposed to perform left us so I have to look through the applications again, I need to verify the special invitations just in case there's an error in the date or location. Also, I'll have to go soon for the Sumeru's flowers that should arrive this afternoon. An union between who, you ask? O-Oh... me and Y/n of course! Sorry if I wasn't clear. There's no need to worry about me, I just want everything to be perfect, I don't think I will be able to not blame myself if something bad happened, I know Y/n told me they'll be happy no matter what as long as I'm with them, but that just makes me want to work more for a perfect ceremony."

⠀

⠀‣ Hu Tao

About The Creator

"Even the most superior being needs a long rest sometimes, if it's meant to happen again, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would be more than honored to prepare a noble ceremony for their departure. Better be quick, and offer them our buy one get one free special!"

⠀

⠀‣ Keqing

About The Creator

"Due to their return, people expect them to rule over Teyvat, which includes Liyue. People also pray to them for the minor inconvenients... *sigh* We can't rely on Gods for everything, we're perfectly capable to survive as our own, and Y/n don't seem convinced to govern alone, even before their death it was never said that the Creator was the one who ruled Teyvat, they simply enjoyed interacting with their creations."

⠀

⠀‣ Ningguang

About The Creator: Tour

"It is a great pleasure to welcome a such honorable guest into Liyue, especially when they were the one who helped us to save our nation. As the Tianquan I was more than glad to have the chance to make them visit the city, it was cute to see them insisting to pay even with no mora on them."

About The Creator: Consort

"I've heard people telling that I accepted their proposal to make my items more valuable and attract more persons to come and make deals in Liyue. In short, our marriage is just a business partnership and not an act of pure love. You... don't believe that, do you? Y/n is worth more than any amount of mora for me, and not because they're the Creator. I know I don't need to prove myself to anyone but I'm concerned if one day Y/n will listen to those rumors."

⠀

⠀‣ Qiqi

About The Creator

"I don't remember who this is... Sorry."

About Y/n

"Y/n is the one who gave me a finch, I named it just like them because they're both nice with me, so when I forgot one of them I just need to look at the other to remember... Uhh, who were we talking about?"

⠀

⠀‣ Shenhe

About The Creator: Disciple

"My family was from a clan of exorcists so they were followers of them, the clan sent prayers and asked for blessings when performing an exorcism. When my mother died, not only did my father abandon me but them too. Maybe that's why I became one of the Acolytes."

About The Creator: Consort

"My master insisted to meet Y/n, not only because they're the Creator but my partner, she wanted to meet the one who 'tamed my heart'. When they did meet, let's say both of their personalities didn't really match well together which gave... an interesting show, but at the end they agreed to share and listen to stories of my childhood..."

⠀

⠀‣ Xiangling

About The Creator

"They told me about dishes from their other world, just hearing about them makes my stomach growl, I'd love cook those dishes if they ever feel homesick, not only can food be delicious but bring warm feelings, and not just because it's hot! But I also love making them try food from here and they always seem to like and excited when I bring them a nice cooked meal!"

⠀

⠀‣ Xiao

About The Creator: Unusual

"They're a God, the oldest one, and yet their body and mind are just as weird and vulnerable as a human."

About The Creator: Consort

"Hm... Yes, about that. Could you help me with something? They always seem to care about me a lot, trying to heal me and making me food, even though I need none of this, but I heard it's expected to show gratitude to the person who cares about you. Since they act more like a human, I don't know what should I offer them. Flowers? Hm... Maybe something that gives me more work, picking up flowers isn't enough to thank them for everything they have done for me. Flowers crowns? I mean... I guess I can try to make one. You think that would make them smile if I had one too? Fine... Show me how to do it."

⠀

⠀‣ Xingqiu

About The Creator

"Ah, they're quite the difficult topic to avoid. My presence was required when my family invited them for a warm welcome to Liyue, I cannot say more as it was a private meeting, but I didn't imagine them with such a casual and clumsy personality, if you would have seen the faces of my father and brother, hehe... Just to say another meeting won't come anytime soon."

⠀

⠀‣ Xinyan

About The Creator

"Who'd think that someone like them would like my performance? Even better, they encourage it! I mean, that's understandable, staying with the most uptight persons and doing boring work all day... Can't even imagine the nightmare, they certainly got the rock 'n' roll's spirit!"

⠀

⠀‣ Yanfei

About The Creator

"Ah... Yes, I'm aware that because of their position we allow them more than we should, but it's not like anyone mind or they do anything bad, the worse that happened was them and Xinyan being a bit too loud. I've heard of a fireworks show in all of Inazuma and a wanted gang getting out of prison, but it's outside of my territory to talk furthermore."

⠀

⠀‣ Yaoyao

About The Creator

"They're always so heavily guarded, so you can always be sure they are in good health with no injuries, but I do worry about how they feel with being followed by people who watch your every move all day. So, whenever I see them, I ask how are they and I always have a ration of their favorite food with me. If you encounter them, tell hi from me and to take care!"

⠀

⠀‣ Yelan

About The Creator: Easy target

"If you knew the number of cases related to them, from little scammers to hitmen, there sure is a great variety. Since the Creator has a more powerful influence than strength, criminals think they are the perfect target for great sum of mora, but they sometimes underestimate a bit too much those close to the Creator and I'm not talking about the Millelith."

About The Creator: Consort

"Shh, not so loud. Surprised, aren't we? That means we're doing a good job at keeping it as a secret. I don't want to be known and blow up my cover, plus with the danger it can attract to them, so we can't announce it publicly but it's not that bad, seeing others thinking they have a chance with them is a funny show, unless Y/n feels uncomfortable, to this I'll attend to it personally when nobody is watching."

⠀

⠀‣ Yun Jin

About The Creator

" 'Through a simple whisper, thousands winds started to blow. Hands drew a river, rising waves emerged from the flow. Love was poured into the earth, and life began to grow~' Aren't these beautiful lyrics? There's a few operas about the Creator as we didn't know them much. We invited them but they appeared a bit embarrassed, which I can understand, so I try to sing tales that aren't about them and might fit their taste. I'm used to hear praises but their enthusiasm about my singing never fails to delight me."

⠀

⠀‣ Zhongli

About The Creator: Hopeful future

"I was surprised to hear about their reincarnation, especially about memories from another world. I had the occasions to talk to them, even if they may seem lost sometimes and lack experiences, the love they share for this world is real and the people around them returns this feeling, with a modern and ambitious mind like them, I'm sure the future of Teyvat will be bright."

About The Creator: Consort

"You want to know more about our contract? Well, our feelings for each other were mutual and we had the same promise which was to keep the other safe and happy, naturally we came to do the ultimate promise to stay together until death separates us, but I fear even this won't be able to break our contract, one that I shall forever cherish and respect. They're quite busy but I stay patient for them to come and see me when they finish with tea that I prepared for relaxing them after a stressful day."

© ་ ׅ : pls don't translate or copy this | don't reblog with yand3r3/cult tags or if you’re a yand3r3 blog/reblog account.

@ ་ ׅ : @haileyo0ostuff

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Parental Negotiations

Feyd x reader

Pregnancy, canon typical violence suggested, etc. Feyd is Lowkey his own warning.

Feyd's brown wrinkled as he narrowed his eyes. "None?"

I tensed, anticipating a fight. Feyd had the energy to argue all day if he cared enough about the topic, and for better or worse our future children were an important topic to him. But at seven months pregnant, I had no desire to do such a feat. Once upon a time I would have loved to have verbally sparred with him over the course of several hours, riling him up until he was ready to throw me into our bed. None of that sounded appealing these days. I'd rather the two of us spend our evening quietly, holding each other, watching some documentary or education text until I fell asleep. Is this how old people felt?

Feyd and I were both barely in our early twenties, but this pregnancy feels like it had aged me in an unexpected way. Or maybe I was just tired. That could be it.

I sighed, sitting down on the couch that took up a large space in my living quarters. Feyd had his own rooms of course, but he spent most of his time in mine. It would be smothering if I didn't like him so much. "I don't want to use a wet nurse when the baby is born. I want to feed my child from my own breast. And I don't really want to use nursemaids either, I'd prefer to raise my own child."

Feyd was quiet for a moment, his eyes staring me down like he was trying to determine just how serious I was about this issue. When he did speak, his raspy voice was gentler than usual. "You're the Na Baroness. You'll be the Baroness one day. You have obligations beyond being a wife and mother."

"I know, and I'm not going to neglect those duties. I think I'll take one or two months to rest with the baby, and after that, I'll see how much I can get done with them on my hip." I explained. "I'm open to using a part time nursemaid, sparingly. So I can have someone hold the baby while I shower, and other such needs."

"And if you can't manage to meet your duties with our child strapped to your chest?" Feyd pressed calmly.

"Then I'll be open to using a nursemaid. Sparingly, of course." I said firmly. "Some weight could be lifted if you assisted me, you know. I don't expect you to drop everything to help me, but watching them for a few hours while I get my duties done would help a lot."

Feyd looked bewildered. "When am I supposed to find the time to do that?!"

I chuckled. "You could strap him to your chest while you do your morning run." I suggested.

"What's wrong with using the nursemaid?" Feyd probed again. "They'll be properly vetted I assure you. And the royal guard will never be far."

"Listen, I know most nobles think that seeing their child once a day for afternoon tea is being an involved parent, but I disagree." I said firmly. "I'm not going to carry this baby for nine months, go through hours of labor, love them more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and then just hand him off to a stranger to raise. I want to be the one to teach him to talk, and walk, and play with him. I know the sleepless nights when he's sick or having a tantrum will be difficult at best, but I want those hard times. I want… I want to actually be a mother."

Feyd's eyes glazed over, my words still registering as he remembered something. Some far off memory that I would likely never be privy to. He hadn't ever spoken much about either of his parents, but he avoided the topic of his mother like a snake avoiding a hawk. Perhaps there was some dusty memory in the corners of his mind of a mother that soothed his fevers, kissed his scraped up knees, and sang his nightmares away with lullabies.

"Alright." He said, a firmness in his voice that assured dependableness and security. "No wet nurses. And I'll only have two nursemaids hired, both part time."

Two nursemaids was a great improvement over the seven that the Baron had told you to expect. Seven nursemaids to attend to the future of House Harkonnen. And three wetnurses. How much could one baby eat? Perhaps the Baron expected Feyd's child to have an appetite to match his.

I smiled, leaning over and kissing Feyd's cheek. "Thank you, love. This means a lot to me."

"If you neglect your duties, I won't be able to prevent more nursemaids being hired." Feyd warned. "And if you're unable to care for our child sufficiently, I will insist on the nursemaids stepping in more."

"I understand." I said gently, resting a hand on his arm. "I just want… when our child wakes up from a nightmare, I want them to call out for me, not a nanny."

Feyd's eyes softened. He rested his hand on my belly, rubbing little circles over where our baby rested inside me. "I will never truly understand motherhood, or your desire for it. But this is important for you, so it's important to me. And… I do admit to wanting something similar."

"You do?" I asked, surprised.

"When I was a boy, I used to go to my combat instructors when I had an injury or needed advice." Feyd explains. "I was wondering the other day about which instructors I should pick for my child, and I realized… I wanted to be the one to teach them. I wanted to be the one to bandage his cuts, and correct his stance. Not some retired general I select to train him for me."

I leaned into Feyd, gasping a little as our baby moved inside me, kicking right where Feyd's hand rested. "Oh! Ugh… they're getting stronger. That one hurt a bit."

Feyd chuckled, rubbing the little outline of our baby's foot. "A strong kick. Good, they'll need that."

"I think you'll be a good father." I said, images of Feyd instructing our child, a toddler in my fantasy, on how to throw their first punch. "Just remember, little hearts need a soft touch, not just a firm hand."

Feyd's lips pressed against my forehead as our child gave another kick. Lighter this time, thankfully. "I'll try to remember that."

[callingbridgerton]

Is it any surprise that Colin "all or nothing" Bridgerton takes his time trying and failing to understand his feelings after the kiss?

I wrote a little bit about this in a comment on Reddit, but I think some of the frustration that we are hearing from people stems from Colin's lack of vocal processing throughout the first half of the season.

I'll admit that his development is subtle, and happens quietly, but I believe that was done on purpose. It needed to be quiet. For a couple reasons. Hear me out.

For the sake of the carriage scene, Pen needed to not know that Colin was falling for her. People are saying that they felt Colin's declaration felt rushed and sudden, but it was supposed to! His reveal needed to feel completely unexpected!

Penelope is supposed to be shocked by it. In order to believe her shock, we too needed to be a bit shocked. It helped so much with the intensity of the carriage scene. I believe Penelope saw Colin looking at her over the last few weeks, but he's kinda always done that? Only we are supposed to know that Colin feels any differently than normal. If we all had known solidly how Colin felt the whole time then we wouldn't have related to Pen's shock in the carrriage at all. She's shut off any hope of Colin feeling the same way. I think the brevity of the scenes where Colin is looking at her during balls and whatnot are done on purpose (through Pen's eyes). Not to beat a dead horse but the carriage scene really really (to me) wouldn't have felt the same if Colin had given Pen more signs. (And throughout all the criticisms, people seem to all agree that that scene was outstanding. But it doesn't exist in a vacuum!)

So much of what we see of Colin processing his feelings for Penelope is done through looks, facial expressions, body language, etc.

This is a bit unique from the other two seasons, in which Daphne and Anthony were both a bit more aware of what they were feeling (even if they were fighting it) and more obvious about it outwardly to others. Perhaps this is what people feel was missing in the build-up?

We do get some hints of Colin thinking about it and struggling with it as he talks to other people such as the Mondriches, Eloise when he thinks that they've spoken about the kiss, Benedict and Hyacinth after his dream, and later, Violet. But primarily, I think that Colin was simply still figuring it out.

And can we blame him? If I were as all-or-nothing as him, a feeling like I was falling in love with my best friend would scare me half to death. Beyond the initial confusion, he needs to be sure how he feels because once Colin knows what he wants he can't hold himself back from getting it.

I know a lot of people think Colin realizes how he feels immediately after the kiss. I could see that, for sure (and I know it's that way in the books and that Nicola said she thinks it's all in one moment), but ultimately I disagree. It of course jump starts everything (and I don't think anything would have happened without it) but I think that it really does happen more slowly, both before and after that. In the first 2 episodes, Colin is repeatedly affected by Penelope during their scenes. He doesn't overthink it, but it's there. Over episodes 3 and 4 Colin consistently tries and fails to understand what is happening to him, even going as far as to go back to the brothel to try to make it stop, but after kissing them both realizes it's just not the same. (One of my favorite moments was when he goes to kiss one of the ladies, pulls away, and looks dumbfounded after feeling nothing.)

In the last episode, when he's in his study thinking back on the hand-cut scene with Pen, he finally realizes he can't make this stop. In fact, he doesn't even want to. That is the moment everyone was waiting for. And no, it is not shoved in your face, nor in his. It's fast, like "Got it, okay, gotta go." All. Or. Nothing.

Hence Colin making his appearance at the ball, his utter lack of care for society rules in breaking up Pen and Lord Debling's dance. His tunnel vision (and speed, ha!) trying to get to Penelope in the carriage. When Colin knows what he wants he just goes for it. He always does this, as others have said, with Marina, with his investment and then takedown of Jack, with Pen.

If people are left frustrated by the lack of obviousness in Colin's realization, I think that's a little silly. If Colin had fully realized any earlier he would've been breaking things up much faster and it would've been a very different story. The pacing to me was perfect. And it made the pay-off so much more rewarding.

[thatfreshi]

Can you make an Angsty Astarion x mortal!reader fic where Astarion realizes that one day the reader will pass and he’ll be alone again🙏🙏🙏 I need more Angst of this man😭

TW - Talk of death, graveyards

Recommended Song: Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish

Astarion often visits graveyards. It's some form of therapy, a place where he can let it all out, a place where he can mourn what he never had, what he doesn't remember. You don't usually go with him, deciding it's best to give him something just for him. Occasionally he'll ask you to come with him, if it's been a particularly rough time or if it's a special day. At the very least he goes once a month, and it's never a question of where he's going, you just know. You worry about him sometimes, being alone in some graveyard. You are all each other have, all you cherish, all you love. It's not often you're apart, but it's not all that difficult to stick to someone like sap when you can't be in the sun.

It's the anniversary of the death of some family member he doesn't remember, who died centuries ago, but some part of him feels as though he should at least go. Not like anyone else goes to see his family anymore. You're in the living room, setting up the fireplace for when you return. Astarion comes downstairs, and you hear his shoes tap each step. You turn to find him in all black, you are as well.

"Are you ready to go?"

You ask, grabbing your trusty knife off the table by the front door, sheathing it under your jacket. It's been quite cold as of recent.

"Mhm."

He doesn't say much. He doesn't have to say much.

"Then let's go."

You smile warmly and wrap yourself around his arm. The graveyard you're visiting isn't too far from the house. It's where most of the Ancuníns were laid to rest, including Astarion's 'grave.' When you arrive, he knows right where to go, and you simply follow along. A while back he memorized all of these people, their death dates, who they were, trying to remember anything he could from a life he lost long ago. The two of you sit in front of an ornate grave, a second cousin of his, or something of the like. You feel guilty that you don't remember like he does.

"I appreciate you."

He'd been silent the entire walk here.

"You always come with me when I ask. I know it may not make sense, I just feel as though it's right, to at least try."

"Of course my love. Whatever you need."

You rest your head on his shoulder and read the inscription on the tombstone. Apparently this man got a terrible illness, died sometime in his 20s, extremely young for an elf. You wonder how much Astarion remembers, if he knew this man at all. You never pry though. He always shares when he's ready. Suddenly, he squeezes your hand.

"I'll miss you. I don't miss these people, but I'll miss you."

"That's hardly a fair comparison. You barely remember them."

"I'll remember you forever. Even if I were enslaved for two hundred more years after this, I couldn't ever forget you."

He kisses the top of your head, lingering for a moment to take in your scent, the feeling of your hair, every little thing he'll remember when you're gone.

"The truth is darling, I don't think I'll ever love again, once you're gone."

He begins to cry. You hadn't thought about him with future lovers, lying with another soul.

"That's not fair though."

"What makes you say that?"

"You deserve to love after me. You deserve to be loved after me."

He sadly chuckles to himself.

"As if anyone could ever compare. You're the sun, and I the moon. Without you, no light would ever reflect off me again. A dark husk of a man, that's what I will be when you're gone."

He sounds so sure of himself, as if beyond you there is nothing. Then again, you've made this entire life together. Who else would fall in love with a vampire spawn with no master, a monster who's never going to be quite right? You're not sure what to say.

"To be honest, I don't think I could fall in love with someone else, even if I tried my damnest. You've made me feel safe in a way that is so foreign, fabricated just for me. You can't replicate that. You can't find someone so willing to be this patient, this kind, to not only love me for my body."

"You have so much more to love though."

"I don't think anyone would see it the way you do my sweet."

You shift to turn and look at Astarion, taking his hands in yours.

"You know what I love most about you?"

He softly smiles.

"What?"

"That you can change. It's something many people forget to do, to change and evolve, to find more in life than their misery. You've changed, for the better. Very few can do that the way you have."

"It's you who changed me."

Sometimes it frustrates you, how little credit he gives himself. Then again, it's much better than it used to be.

"Just promise me something? Once I'm gone, find another way to be happy. Find something that makes your heart flutter, that causes those precious creases when you smile. Find something else, if not for yourself, for me."

He nestles into your neck, giving you a soft kiss.

"I promise to try my love, that's all I can do."

His eyes are still misty, the tears get onto your neck. You try hard not to cry yourself, but it's hard when your heart is breaking outside of your body. You pray in that moment, although you're not sure to what god or power, but you pray that he'll be okay when you die, that it's a long time away from someone driving a stake through his ribs, that he finds joy in the small things like he does now. After all, hope is all you have when the afterlife comes to get you so soon.

"I hope I get to watch over you, wherever I end up."

"Like some kind of angel or something?"

"I guess. Like your guardian."

"Do you think I'll know?"

"Yes, I think you'll know. Maybe I'll take on the body of stray cats, follow you on the streets, lead you down paths with less heartache."

"I'd like that, very much."

~~~

Decades later, Astarion gets ready to leave the house, your knife on the table. When he steps out onto the cobblestone streets, there's a pure white cat standing a couple feet away. It meows, almost melodically, and turns to a nearby alleyway. He walks to where the animal was standing, and turns to look into the alleyway, but there is no sight of the stray. He smiles.

"Thank you, my love."

[asterinthesiren]

THEORIES and THOUGHTS: AGATHA

This is the second part of my theories post, the first being about Billy! Again, this is going to be a three parter, because literally I have too many thoughts to contain in one post (I mean I can but that'll be entirely too long for y'all to read lmao)

Part 1 Billy | Part 2 Agatha | Part 3 Trial and Next Ep

Of course as always special mention to @justmonty because without her none of these theories would have been cooked at all! Hi queen ily

Alright HERE WE GO!

Next is our beloved problematic fave, middle-aged lesbian, Agatha Harkness. She is still shrouded in a lot of mystery, but the latest episode revealed a LOT about her.

So what we've learned is that Evanora Harkness is a bitch who never loved Agatha in the first place, the trial in the 1600s was way more layered than we thought, and that Nicky was at least 3 years old (remember the Ouija board instructions? ages 3 and up)(although that could also be a mention for the maiden, mother, crone thing, but it could be both! I digress)

Agatha cannot control her absorption magic, that is a fact. She begged Evanora to teach her how to control it, but she outright refused. And that's what she said in the trial too: "I cannot control it! If only you would teach me!" (Post here and amazing ass edit here). So we can conclude that this has been her struggle from the get-go. NOW, I POSIT:

WHAT IF the reason her mother hated her so much was because even in the womb she couldn't control her magic? What if instead of that power being her magic, it was a curse: to suck the power/life out of everyone who dares harm her? THEREFORE, knowing that Evanora was abusive from the start, what if Agatha's magic responded naturally to the abuse and started hurting whoever it was that tried to harm her--which in this case, is Evanora. Then, it was never a thirst for power; it was a curse.

Knowing Agatha, who internalizes so much trauma, what if the reason why she's so "evil" is because of her distorted thinking: "You think of me as a monster? Fine, I'll be one." Her love affair with Rio now fits the puzzle perfectly because Rio is the only one who can withstand that curse. This post sums it up perfectly: “Agatha is a soul who was meant to live but who everyone wanted dead - how could Death not fall in love with her?”

MORE THAN THAT, Death is so much like Agatha in this sense:

(thanks to @justmonty for sending me this!)

So knowing all this, that Agatha can't control her absorption magic...

What if that's how Nicky died?

Nicky, the young baby witch, still learning how to handle his magic, blasts Agatha with a small bit of his magic as she's trying to teach him...

And Agatha, fully knowing the consequences, but can't control herself otherwise (nor know how to give back the magic she absorbed)...

The rest is history.

AND THAT, my friends, is why Agatha was so hell-bent on finding the Darkhold, which from what we know of it so far, has resurrection spells. Beyond that, what if she wanted to try and break her curse, or learn how to control it, through the Darkhold?

Imagine: she had never once delved into dark magic ever, has already begged the most knowledgeable witch she knew to teach her how to control her magic, but not only does she get shunned by her, she gets shunned by her entire community and nearly gets executed from it. At this point, she accepts her fate: "If you think me evil, then let me be fucking evil."

Then she finally finds something to love and to live for--only for him to die at her hands through a curse that she has no control over.

AND THEN, she hears about the Darkhold. A sliver of hope against the bleakness of her existence--and still, it ended up turning her even more insane and cursed. Now, because of a witch who could have definitely helped her get her son back, all of her power and sense of self is gone.

Now here's a theory: what if Evanora got r*ped by a demon, and their offspring is Agatha?

I'm not saying Agatha is Mephisto's daughter, I'm just pointing out (with the help of @justmonty) that it would make a lot of sense why Evanora hated her so much. AND, going back to my first post about color theory, Agatha's magic colors would now make more sense: Evanora had blue magic, and let's say that whichever demon is her father had red magic.

What do red and blue make? PURPLE.

I rest my case.

[graywaynewriter]

Bruce Wayne and daughter reader meets Damian for the first time

Brother ?

a/n: here I’ll just refer to daughter reader as daughter Wayne in case if anyone is looking for it in the tags

It was yet another late night, waiting on your father to come back from patrol. You weren’t too busy that night so you had to wait for him while you monitored some of the screens with Alfred. It wasn’t unusual for him to take longer than he said he would since so many unexpected twists, and turns can happen with an expanse of time. However, later on he pinged you letting you know, he was on his way home and to have the entrance of the Batcave, ready.

As the dark machine rolls into the Batcave, it’s engine comes to a halt as the latch opens, and Bruce steps out. However, this time he had company with him, he had a young boy who looked no older than 13 years old he thought to yourself that he probably brought home another robin so you stand up and approach them and say

“ Another robin?” You ask with a slight smile, however Bruce‘s face does not change. Instead of him answering the young boy answered instead.

“ more like the heir to Wayne Enterprises,” he crosses his arms as he scans your body up and down “who are you?”

“Hu-“ you were beyond confused because as far as you know, you were Bruce Wayne‘s only child.

“Damian is my son, Y/N….he’s your brother.” Bruce explains briefly “it’s a long story having to do with Talia. I’ll explain what happened later.

Is he still there processing the information Damien decides to start circling you like a vulture and observing your figure and trying to read you

“Hm, you don’t look like a fighter, but I suppose every family supposed to have a child who is just for show” he said, as he stopped and looked back to your face. And with a straight face, he says “ you’d be in much better shape if you actually worked out. Maybe one day you’ll even measure up to me”

All you do is stare at this random kid that just pulled up with your father as he criticize you in your skills. Sure you didn’t go on any patrol, but that was all by choice.

“…. So not only does he look like you, but he has to say everything that’s on his mind it seems” your eyebrows furrow as you look at your father trying to subconsciously ask him what in the hell is going on

“That’s enough Damian,” Bruce steps in and looks to Alfred “Alfred, could you please take Damien to the room that he will be staying in”

"Of course Master Bruce, this way Master Damian," you remain quiet as you watch the two exit the Batcave and you look back to your father.

"So....I have a brother huh?"

"It seems that way Y/N," Bruce said in his low gruff voice "this information is just as new to me as it is to you. I know Damian is....a handful, but we need to try. His life would be better here than with the league," he said resting a hand on your shoulder.

"I suppose so....you don't think he'll cause trouble do you?" you asked

"well....I hope he doesn't But I'll be sure to keep an eye on him,"

Next thing you know you were watching Damian shred up the garden shrubs with Alfred the next morning. You both jut sip on some tea Alfred had brewed up for you.

"So, why is he doing this?" you asked as he took the head off of the shrub in the shape of a bear

"Training, I was told at least," Alfred answers as Bruce walks into the kitchen ready to head into the office

"Well as long as he doesn't touch my-NOOOO!" with a quick slice the bush of hibiscus flowers was cut in half and you freak out "MY FLOWERS! DAD!"

Setting your cup down your rub out into the garden barefoot and start waving yours arms around. While Alfred and Bruce watch from the window as you scold Damian for the brutal damage to your favorite bush. Bruce lets out a sigh and Alfred adds,

"I will call the gardener and landscaper,"

"Thank you Alfred" Bruce sighs as he watches you both start to argue back and forth. He had to go and step in before anything got out of hand.

The following weeks were just the same. Start off pretty tame, and argument happens and you were bother bickering as most siblings do. He had even had his moments with your father and even Nightwing. To the point where Alfred had to stitch him up because of the fight they had gotten into while he was out on patrol.

He seen that almost anyone he ran into he pick a fight with. Whether that was verbal or physical or even both. However, sometimes you would see him sit on his own and just contemplate about things. You couldn’t exactly put your finger on what could be on his mind, but in a way it did make you sad. All he ever knew was the league of assassins, it was like he had no childhood no fun on top of that. He never really knew your father.

It’s like you got to enjoy Bruce without him being around and this is his first time being an actual child to a father. Even though he was so stubborn about it and insisted on being an adult at the ripe age of 14.

In the following weeks, you even try to get up at around the time that he did. Which was around five in the morning, which is absolutely insane, but you would try to wake up either way and make breakfast for him. It was a small star, but it was something to show him how different life could be.

Perhaps having your blood related, brother, suddenly appear, wouldn’t be such a burden as it once seemed. Although he may clash with you and almost everyone around him, you think he just may need some guidance. He definitely needs a lot of time to adjust. But there are times you would look at him and you would just see a smaller version of your father, especially when it came to training or bettering himself.

And even when you thought he would bring nothing but trouble you can see just a sliver of light in his eyes. And there was no doubt that he had gotten it from Bruce. Maybe having a brother wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

🦇Taglist:

[no-passaran]

The story of Jesus Christ Superstar is the tragedy of its characters coming to realise that they have no power over their lives, fighting as much as they can against the role that history/God is forcing them to fulfil, but failing because they were doomed from the start.

Jesus in Gethsemane desperately asking God why should he be killed, how is that going to make anything better, only to realise that it doesn't matter what he believes or wants because it's already fixed ("why then am I scared to finish what I started? What you started, I didn't start it.") and there is nothing that can be done. Against his will, he will have to continue performing this role to its bitter end ("God, thy will is hard, but you hold every card. I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to your cross and break me, bleed me, beat me, kill me. Take me now, before I change my mind.")

Judas realises later, after he has already fulfilled his role in the story. This realization and regret leads him to commit suicide, being the only way out of a life that has already been fixed to make him the eternal villain ("you'll be remembered forever for this", "I shall be dragged through the slime and the mud")... even though this apparent choice of suicide was, following the same reasoning, also taken for him ("my God, I'm sick! I've been used! And you knew all the time. God! I'll never know why you chose me for your crime. Your foul, bloody crime. You have murdered me! Murdered me! Murdered me!"). Judas understands what he did, and he understands what he will be, forever. He understands that not only has he been Judas, he now knows what it means to be Judas: Jesus insulted him by telling him ("you liar, you Judas"). In the very end, he completely understands what it means to be a Judas, because of what he had done.

And Pilate is the last one to try by all means to escape his destiny. He's seen it in his dream, but he refuses to follow it. He refuses to sentence Christ, telling the crowd that he's a crazy man but that's not a crime, trying to convince them that it's against their best interest to ally with Rome, and begs Christ to let him help him get saved ("why do you not speak when I hold your life in my hands? How can you stay quiet? I don't believe you understand!") but of course, the post-Gethsemane Jesus already has accepted that they're doomed, and he's the one to tell Pilate ("you have nothing in your hands, any power you have comes to you from far beyond. Everything is fixed, and you can't change it."). The realization is dawning on Pilate as he desperately continues trying to cling to his ability to take meaningful choices, literally begging Christ to let him take that decision ("you're a fool Jesus Christ, how can I help you?") but with the crowd's shouts for crucifixion, and the crowd circling him and pushing him against the wall, he really does realize it: he has no choice; he will have to play his part in the story. And he knows how it will end, he knows what his role will mean, he also knows what it means to be Pilate ("then I saw thousands of millions crying for this man, and then I heard them mentioning my name and giving me the blame"). The only thing he can do is remove himself from it, but even then he is aware that that won't stop the already-fixed history ("I wash my hands from your demolition. Die if you want to, you innocent puppet").

After all, we saw it from the very first scene. Isn't this what the story's framing means? The overture shows the actors arriving to the filming set by bus and getting ready to play their role. And, at the end of the film, they pack and leave. They came here to recite a script that someone else wrote, to fulfil a story where everything is fixed, and they can't change it. That was what they were made for. Innocent puppets.

[drunkenskunk]

There's a project related to my interest in Warhammer that I've wanted to do for quite some time, but I know I'll never get the chance to actually do it. At least, not properly. And it involves... I think "historical preservation" is probably the best word for it?

See, I like to occasionally sift through my collection of old "out of date" rulebooks and army codex books from earlier editions of 40k. The sort of things that have been out of print for many years. Games Workshop hasn't sold these books in 2 or 3 decades, and they've all been supplanted by the current rules. And I do this because I think it's interesting to see how the game - in both crunch and fluff - has changed since 1987.

More beyond the break...

For example: the different ways the galaxy has been depicted in 40k between the different editions. In the first rulebook, when it was still called Rogue Trader, all we got was a small, almost abstract, image on the bottom of the page. The 2nd edition rulebook that came out in October 1993 (specifically, the Codex Imperialis book) had a two page spread, but it was also very abstract with a few notes, but no real detail to speak of. As far as I can tell, the first time we got a map of the galaxy with the segmentum divisions that we're all accustomed to now came from a very unexpected place: the very first Tyranid codex that came out in August 1995.

Of course, my copy of the 2nd Edition book is a very poor quality black and white scan. Those segmentum divisions could genuinely be there, and I just can't see it. Not to mention, it's entirely possible that a map with segmentum divisions first premiered in an issue of White Dwarf first, because GW liked to do stuff like that in the old days where you'd see it in the hobby magazine long before it was "officially" released in a rulebook.

There are a lot of glaring omissions from a lot of the other files in my collection: poor scans, missing pages, corrupted files... There's a lot I still don't know, because it's impossible for me to currently confirm that the little I do know is, in fact, accurate. My collection is woefully incomplete. Plus, I don't really have much past 6th edition anyway.

And this, in essence, is my idea: try and complete the collection. Find pristine copies of all the old 40k rulebooks, army codexes, even old copies of White Dwarf, and digitize them all into a huge archive for the sake of historical preservation. Of a sort.

Basically, I want to become a Lexmechanic of the Adeptus Mechanicus, looking for Dark Age of Technology era STC's uncorrupted by the Heresy or the war with the Iron Men. Either that, or I want to become Trazyn with his Infinite Archive on Solemnace.

Unfortunately, there are many problems with this plan. The first being GW's overly litigious nature. They see all this Warhammer shit as "product" first and a hobby for people to enjoy a very, VERY distant second. Doesn't matter that these books (and the magazines) are long since out of print and they don't sell them anymore, effectively making the old editions the tabletop hobby equivalent to video game abandonware... if they got wind that I was attempting a project of this nature, I just know GW would smack me in the face with a cease and desist.

Of course, the other major stumbling block here is the financial issue. And I'm not just talking about buying the books. Obviously, there's the problem of the rarer books that go for upwards of $300 or more on ebay, but there's also a volume problem. Even if you find some good deals, and you're able to find older books for $10 or $15 a pop, there's just SO MANY books, that if I were to attempt this I would be wasting several thousand dollars that I just don't have.

More importantly, there's also the machine I would need to buy in order to do this project in the first place. Because if I was going to do this, I would want to do it right, y'know? I wouldn't want to simply shove the books into my dinky little scanner-printer combo hooked up to my computer. The only way I'd get a clean scan using that method would be to physically destroy these very valuable books, and that's the last thing I'd want to do. No, I would want to do it right, and get a machine like Scribe, the book scanner used by the internet archive:

Now, obviously, I can't get access to that machine, specifically, because Scribe was custom built by the engineers at the Internet Archive. But other V-cradle book scanners that let you digitize books without destroying them do exist... and they're all REALLY expensive. A good one to produce professional quality scans is, like, $25,000.

And I know what you're thinking: why do I even care about any of this? Even if this project was not entirely out of my reach, it's ultimately pointless, right? Why would I want to preserve all these old, out-of-date, no longer relevant rulebooks for a tabletop wargame that has only existed exactly as long as I have?

Because... let's be honest, this isn't really about Warhammer. The reason I want to do this stems from a much deeper desire to simply Remember. It's amazing and terrifying in equal measure just how easily history can be erased, either deliberately or simply through neglect. All of these things in our lives that are seemingly so important to us can easily vanish from history, like sandcastles when the tide rolls in.

Hell, if you really want to know my feelings about this, just watch Jacob Geller's video on this very subject.

If I had infinite time and infinite money, and I didn't care about any kind of repercussions from GW's legal team, this project would not be beyond my reach.

But I do not have infinite time or money. And there are more things in my life that I need to be concerned with that are far more important than creating a... stupid archive.

Shame, really.