#I'll straight up die
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do you have youtube channel?
technically yes, but I just use it to host unlisted videos for embedding, so there's nothing, like, public on it. :') sorry! I basically don't post anywhere except here and occasionally on pixiv (in case it's not obvious, I suck at social media).
#god help me if i ever have to rely on it as a career because i will immediately die#i like being in one place where people can follow or block as they choose and not have to keep blocking me everywhere#fediverse seems like it would be ideal for that but i haven't seen any that have the thing that i really like about tumblr#which is that tags can work both as a cloud (like if i tag something as 'art' it shows up in the tag feed for 'art)#and also isolated (if you come to my blog and click the 'art' tag you can see only my posts tagged 'art')#(if there's a term for that i do not know it)#i might just be missing if there are any like that though#the people who i tend to look to for this kinda thing are mostly interested in straight-up twitter clones#which is...let's say less than ideal for posting art or organizing anything#so at this point if tumblr goes down i'll probably just take it as a sign to quit social media entirely ( ᐛ )#(my apologies i did not mean for this to turn into a tag novella)
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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Need an au where Will is a waiter at some diner in Louisiana and Hannibal is down there for whatever fucking reason but he stops in everyday cause despite the ....charm of the place not being his usual dining deal it's actually pretty good and the waiter is super cute. Anyways. Hannibal kills all the customers who are rude to Will.
#🪰#hannibal#hannigram#will graham#hannibal lecter#living through this vicariously#straight up if you're rude to food service workers/cashiers/receptionists for just doing their jobs literally die I'm so serious#I'll say it again hannibal lecter was right if you're needlessly discourteous go get hit by a truck about it#waste of air fr
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Okay so maybe the wrinkly split head devil isn't the Aging devil itself, since it being called aging definitelly feels like a mistranslation and and public safety wanting to erase old age by sacrificing the younger generation fits the point the chapter is trying to get across much nicer than if the devil was aging itself (+ if you think about it for 2 seconds erasing aging as a whole is a terrible fucking idea since no one will be able to grow anything anymore and people will be stuck as babies and kids forever whereas erasing old age should just make people not age past adulthood and probably cause people who are already elderly to just dissapear on the spot)
But that doesn't mean i'm keeping Cherryboy the exact same because if old age specifically is enough to achieve primal fear level then aging as a whole has gotta be one too. So hooray! someone's getting a slight revamp in the future :)
#i'm not changing his storyline in part one nor his design but his overall backstory will change slightly#but in his main design he is now the Aging fiend instead of straight up devil. i'll definitelly cook up a full devil design for him later#and you know him being a primal fear is fun because i had this idea that even after dying Cherry retains a sliver of his memories#from past iterations. if he is that strong of a devil then he can probably do that#and i can use this as an excuse to why i never made designs for him in hell :) i've got some fun ideas brewing#basic idea so far is that Cherry has a fascination with watching life (basically aging and its effects on living beings) even tho he has#hardly any attachment to life itself. dying is just a part of it same as growing old and such he doesn't feel anything when it happens#to other people and also himself#but being an enormously powerful devil in hell he can only watch this dance of life and death from afar as an outside observer#so after god knows how long he grows tired of sitting there in hell and kills himself to be reborn on earth#and immediatelly goes out of his way to become a fiend. severely weakening his strenght but bringing him closer to the lesser beings#by doing so. and now he can observe life from upclose and interact with the other creatures roaming around. which is something he finds#immense enjoyment in#think like a god that roleplays as a human every once in a while just because they're bored. and when they die they go back to godhood#so thats why all of Cherry's versions on earth are these dudes w animal skulls. little fiends#he can be strong and all-powerful when this life is over. and in hell he will look back at it quite fondly#csm#csm oc#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#csm part 2#Cherry#hyena ramblings
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like vergil-losing, I'm going to be a little quiet for a few days at least. I'm absolutely wrung out from work and I just don't have much energy to be silly on the internet.
#holidays are hell but once mother's day is over i'll be fine#im going to die at work tomorrow. straight up#send me your red orbs for strength#archivist post#psa
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hrm . along with another verse i can use for urban fantasy, i've also been consumed by the temptation to make hakkai d&d verses that are specific to mine and falka's dnd settings.
#『 if these boys die i'll straight up kill myself. 』 ⟶ ooc.#mine is easier because i made that shit up but i LOOOOVE falka's dnd world more than i love air
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One thing that I keep thinking about in regards to Tactics Ogre is the presence of the vaguely humanoid reptilian guys. Like the game has straight-up dragons of varying types, but then you've also got these guys that are just. guys but reptiles. And at first I was going "okay maybe they're just supposed to be mindless monsters like the undead?" but at some point in the game Canopus gets into a fistfight with one of them when he (Canopus) interrupts some singing. So this reptile guy has clearly got the emotional wherewithal to both listen to someone sing and also to get mad when someone interrupts!
The PSP version apparently has a description for the reptiles that mentions they're a "crude race with limited intellect." But are they REALLY limited in intellect or is it just racial prejudice?? You also see them being included in various mercenary bands throughout the game, and they seem to wear human clothing and armor, which implies that at least some of them have some idea of trade and currency, and most of them have the understanding of how to dress for their own protection. For all intents and purposes there is nothing that really stands out as evidence that they're less intelligent than standard humans
#tactics ogre#ogre battle series#I am constantly spinning all the unaligned enemies around in my head like a microwave#like they've gotta be from somewhere so WHY do they consider themselves unaligned to any place in Valeria#do they have land of their own that's unrecognized by the Valerian governing parties?#or are they just legally not allowed to be considered residents of any of the different nations??#and are the mermaid-looking ladies ALSO supposed to just have crude intellect? the one in potd floor 3 I'm p sure straight up spoke English#wait hey. hold on a second#is the auction/dismissal dialogue you get with dragons and the bird monsters supposed to imply they have human intellect#I die every time that comes up#the worst is always 'yeah no it's cool man I get it you just have to sell off your friends sometimes.'#'go ahead it's fine it's not even a big deal. don't worry about it. I'll support you no matter what. I love you. remember me when I'm gone'#like never mind you can just kill me actually!!!!!!!!
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coming out to say I think the ending was evil as balls and horrible to sam why'd you force him to live intrinsically broken inside and hollow living for the longest soul-decaying while without the person he loves most waking up every day and going goddammit not again while becoming a shell of a human it's almost sadistic why'd you do this to him
#having an apple pie life could have been ideal at the beginning if dean never showed up at his door in Stanford#but he did and they went through so much sam's priorities and who he is completely shifted#at the risk of sounding corny at the beginning if it could be measured#sam was 80% him 20% family and stuff#by the end he was left with 80% dean and him 20% void#it's simply not the same#seeing him live an excruciatingly long life alone knowing he's not emotionally present the half of it and his greatest wish is to die#that's tragic#truly when we dead awaken#samdean#sam winchester#mine#dean is equally fucked up for forcing this on sam too#sorry the montage in the bunker is anything but typical grief one could perfectly recover from#that said I love the finale for what it was (the barn scene samdean being domestic sam living a tragedy and them reuniting)#not a single person who is balls against the wall hating it can come up with a better ending if not straight up dogshit scenarios#It's not perfect I'm sure no one could've delivered one full-fledgedly rewarding except kripke but it was great for what's it worth#It was focused on sam and dean especially sam wasn't sidelined like he been for a while and that's the win I'll live and die with#spn#supernatural#also 7 minutes of incest the blueprint
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67 - Patience
Thank you for taking your time with me. Thank you for staying. It... means more to me than you can ever know.
W-would you be patient with me a moment longer...? Just while I get my words... my f-feelings in order...? I've been waiting... waiting oh-so-long to tell you... to tell you that I, um...
...a-and you don't need to answer right away! I-in fact, I don't think I'd really mind if you, umm... didn't give one. Just now, I mean. B-but soon, okay? I... don't mind waiting a little longer, haha.
But anyway! I just, umm... I really... l-like you, a lot. N-not in a creepy way or anything! Just, um. A normal way. I... like you, and I like spending time with you, and I would like to spend more time with you. That's... I just wanted you to know. If that's, um, okay.
...it feels pretty good to have finally said it out loud, actually. Even if you're not exactly... well, here. B-but it's okay! Because I can be pretty patient too... and just knowing you'll be back soon is enough for me right now.
...though perhaps it wouldn't be so bad... if I didn't tell you anyway.
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The Dark Menagerie No. 67
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#writing#fiction#fanfiction#drabble#Deltarune#Ralsei#Kris Dreemurr#Kralsei#Krisei#confession#rehearsal#I'm going to bite my own hand off if and when this happens in canon#All the ways this could play out... good and bad#I'll die on the spot either way. Just straight up raptured#C'mon Toby Fox hurry up and ruin me emotionally you COWARD#...ahem#As you can see I'm very Normal about this#The Dark Menagerie
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i can't believe i come back momentarily from the dead and it's with more cancerous memes. Two versions bc god had other plans, none which included not having both of these.
#hand jumper#juni chang#ishaan cha#where my juni enjoyers at#did i ever mention i was the qpr ishjun guy i probably should've hung that up in a sign as a warning in advance#i don't f around with these bros they're my little guys they're the scunkledoodles#they're everything and i'll actually fight you on them if i see something egregious or slanderous of them#they're my children they're my little DSM-5 case studies they're my little sillies i keep in the petri dish#whether they beat each other up or talk crap is up to sleepacross tho they my only hope#the fp got me acting up i'm on the delulu cocaina i need to be shot#shot down or shot dead pick one just PLEASE end my suffering#WHO IS THE CELL 3 MENTOR JUST END MY SUFFERING INSTEAD OF HOLDING CELL 3 CRUMBS OVER MY HEAD#AND IF ONLY JUNI IS OVERSEEING THEM OR THEY'RE GOING IN UNSUPERVISED I'LL EXPLODE#STRAIGHT UP.#SHOOT ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH#sighs#i could've been simping over that one panel of sayeon like everyone else#not the mirror one or the sayjin flirting kismesis ass vacillating btw#you guys should fp just try it i swear you won't regret it#use the magical powers.....#share the burden.........#i as your personal demon that makes rounds around your head approve of this please#consider throwing some coins or 28 for even more brainrot i'm like dying in a corner and WILL die in a corner waiting for tuesday#also i have testing next week too i think hj is just cursed like that#we love to see it though
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i should learn french
#specifically quebecois french. because. i live in canada.#but duolingo's only got france french though. so i guess i'll straight up die.
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I need a minute. to process the update
#I'm sososososoos sleepy it is overwhelming SORRY#I know I'm going to be killed every time I stay up to read the update and I knew I had a rough shift at work ahead of me but alas#I feel like I run out of things to say about the updates when they're not so directly about the 4 dia boys anymore </3#twst spoilers#I love rook though. he was so real for.... all of that#the reminder that Vil's overblot hurt Rook more than anyone else#that he trusted Vil more than anyone else and wanted to believe he wouldn't be willing to stoop so low#he was willing to die if it meant everyone else got along.... rook ily#and dear god they actually showed Neige's dead body... Not knocked out or in a coma#straight lined vitals and cold body#the dwarves begging him to stop being lazy and wake up...#(foreshadowing pleas e please please pleas pla plsplspslpslspl be foreshadowing for silver please I'll cry)#and the cut to Vil celebrating is ''victory'' at VDC after killing Neige.. it all felt so dark#even after what they pulled with Ortho in the last book I'm still surprised when they directly address characters dying and being dead#anyway very good update I had a good time#Idia's dumb fucking video was so cute and silly
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one of these days i'll write up a post about the parallels and foils between vivi and hermes and why it fucking kills me. for now all i can say is in hindsight the 'latched onto vivi Hard as a kid' to 'latched onto hermes Hard as an adult' pipeline is Real
#ffix#ffxiv#vivi ornitier#ffxiv hermes#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy ix#the absolute fuckor#hermes really is just such an interesting and visceral deconstruction of/foil to vivi's themes#ranging from *vivi* being the one in the same role as the familiars here#in comparison to hermes meaning the best in the world and trying So Hard; but ultimately coming from a place of immense privilege#and the fact that he was fumbling around in the dark in a society that very aggressively tried to insulate him from any meaningful#perspective on the shitty things he had internalized about familiars without realizing it; much less knowledge to unpack it#and how in the end he still was shitty to and about familiars; including and especially his daughters; who he abused#and some of that stemmed at least partly from his own selfishness and the things he was in denial about#to the fact that vivi had *support* when it came to things like grief and fear and life being precious#and the importance of finding your own meaning in it; while at the same time treating unavoidable death with weight and respect#and people in his life being like 'yeah it's pretty fucking understandable to be fucked up about all this'#instead of at most condescendingly treating him like a freak and an outlier for like. fucking being sad or angry about things. lol#bc *vivi gets angry.* he doesn't just feel sad he gets fucking furious; he feels real ass hate; he wants people to die for what they've done#and when he *does* question that in himself it's not ~uwu if i hate people i'm just as bad as them~; it's 'i've repressed so hard that i#literally have forgotten how to identify what sadness feels like; and it bothers me that my grief response skips straight to hatred now'#i just. god i love vivi so much i could go on. anyway when someone tries to pull a 'familiar-equivalents are soulless puppets#with a single purpose and it's fine to kill them if they're defective or obsolete' vivi tries to explode him with his mind#and his friends go i'll help! and that's why i love ffix#ffixtag#ffxivtag#FF tag
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playing what pride had wrought <3 "i have reason to believe these ruins are the temple of mythal" "which is?? 😵" i am once again seething with the fury of one thousand enraged gorillas
#oc: ashara#tay plays dai#“WHICH IS” SAYS FIRST TO THE KEEPER WEARING MYTHAL'S VALLASLIN.#DIE. DIE. DIEEEEEEE#i'll never not be angry abt this. its suchhhh a ridiculous oversight#i do have it coming this time around bc i decided i love the woeful despicable vibes of bringing solas/sera/cassandra to the temple#absolutely everybody against ashara even the people she cares about the most :)#if i decide to make her a villain in dadw im going to point to this quest specifically and those three WILL be mentioned by name <3#like maybe she wouldve let morrigan drink from the well if not for the absolute disrespect shes abt to put up with for the next hour or so#sigh. lavellans who love their gods mean everything to me. im so sad that the trauma of everything they have to learn abt their culture#is so dismissed. and like.. straight up ridiculed lol#everything sucks i am playing this quest w hatred and malice in my heart
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#also i love my friends but i'm so insanely fucking burned out right now that if my friend doesn't go home shortly after i get out of work i#i dont know what i'll do. go insane probably#in rapid succession:#we caught up with a friend we havent hung out with in a year +#helped another friend work on cosplay for 2 days straight#had a friend from baltimore come down for the first time in years#and had a friend from portland come down for the first time in years#and it's lovely but i'm fucking Tired. go Home. please. my routines are so fucked up#if i have to keep having engaging conversations and being On and Responsive i'm going to go fuckinng insane#im tired of talking. endure silence with me or die#ive run out of conversation topics. i am no longer capable of being responsive. i need to go nonverbal or i'll fucking explode
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haaaaa ... well, i'll be out of town for thanksgiving (starting tomorrow; i'm still here today and hoping to get some writing in the queue) and i won't be home until the evening of the 30th.
i'm generally harder to reach on tumblr when i don't have a computer and i'll already be pretty busy in general, so if we're mutuals i'm dropping my discord here if you'd like to plot or chat while i'm away! i will probably queue this to post like two more times ahaha.
anyway, my discord is shaldred .
#『 if these boys die i'll straight up kill myself. 』 ⟶ ooc.#it's not as if i really have that many mutuals but just in case !
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