#I'll stop talking now lol. I don't like being negative online but sometimes it's fun to rant a little and this is a topic I ruminate on :)

[lilianade-comics]

I know most fans have a positive opinion of this episode, and that's totally fine, but D-Stabilized is a TERRIBLE sequel to Kindred Spirits and it raises my blood pressure an unhealthy degree just thinking about it. (Valerie obviously excluded from my ire), It's the dullest thematic follow up possible. It does nothing with the halfas narratively that KS didn't already do and just repeats character beats while simultaneously making them worse, it doubles down on Dani's victim status with the high cost of the most egregious character assassination Vlad ever suffered and whatever characterization SHE could have had if the writers weren't hellbent on making the worst possible decisions with them, it deus ex machina-ed away Dani's destabilization which wasn't earned & felt pointless because it's not like they were going to keep her around at the end, AND it had the sheer gall, the unmitigated AUDACITY to be Valerie's ONLY season 3 appearance.

[dreamhot]

OH I DIDNT REALISE IT WAS SO RECENT THAT MAKES MORE SENSE for me I've been trans since i was 12 and I only recently got more comfy being [insert gender here] and using she/her pronouns. Which doesn't make me a detransitioner or a woman by any means (i cant even "pass" for a girl atp since I have facial hair)

What I have learned from this is that like. You can be whatever you want all of the time. The scaremongering about transness being this huge life changing thing are mostly lies. I was a he / him trans guy now im a she/he non binary person who looks literally more masc than i did before said realisation. It's fine to try stuff out and figure it out.

If you're really having trouble i recommend just cutting transphobia out of your life completely. Like not even arguing with it, just getting rid of it , blocking discourse about it. It's an absolute poison and it SUCKS. This includes calling it out, news stories critical of transphobia, everything. You're not a bad trans person for not engaging with your own oppression for that - sometimes you need a break from the negativity to feel more confident in yourself.

Also oddly enough having a cis boyfriend made me even more sure I wanted to transition. I won't go super into detail, but I basically ended up getting super super jealous of all his Cis Guy Things and I think that's what really cemented it for me. Especially cis guys who are chill with trans ppl can be literally some of the most validating ppl. I'll never forget when i came out, the boys' section of the soccer team I played for started hyping me up all the time, the guys in my friend group used to invite me out when they all went out together. The media and social media especially overstates the amount of transphobia the world has to offer by a long shot. There's a lot of fun and beauty in being a trans guy that gets talked about online but like. At the end of the day you're just a guy. Most people will see that lol.

Anyway ignore me getting all rambly. Good luck Lee o7

this was really sweet and helpful to read, genuinely, so thank you😭 the bit in the middle about not wanting to engage with the oppression at all... REAL and like. this is why i have a hard time explaining to certain family members that i don't enjoy 'debating' things when it feels like i'm only trying to validate my existence. mum would go on about hoping my therapist was 'challenging' me - ie, testing to see whether or not i'm ? actually nby/trans ig ?? and it's like MAN this shit is exhausting and only makes me more insecure about it, versus, yknow, how validating it feels to have people actively support it. like ... no mum i'm not just looking for yes men - i'm looking for people to understand

anyway blah blah, i'm sure i'll stop stressing about it eventually :') thank you again <33