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queenofshenanigans · 12 hours ago
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WIP WEEKEND! Make Me Write
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I reorganized a few things this week, and added links to the tags if you want to track down previous WIP sneak-peeks of a few things. Send me an emoji (one WIP per ask, but idc how many emojis per WIP per ask) and I'll write at least 3 sentences and share a bit!
**NEW**📼- STEITH WEEK is coming for us all, there is no escape. NSFW Sneak peak below. Make me finish this pwp with surprise feelings maybe? Track all my Steith Week stuff here if you dare.
👩‍👩‍👦 - the Stranger Moms fic. There's plot now. Might be a S5 thing. Liz Harrington/Claudia Henderson meet ugly eventual romance. You can follow the tag here.
🐉 - Steve finds a dragon in his closet. (Steddie, ft Dustin's unsafe scienigal experiments)
🏰 - Shenanigans in Steve's attic thanks to his dad's latest experiment. It's basically Honey I Shrunk The Kids, but ST canon compliant as well. (Pre-Steddie, ft Erica & Dustin, intended to be a drabble and/or short fic, but I'm outta control.)
⚔️ - A Knight's Tale (with magic) AU, Ronance with side Steddie (and other various pairings), but it's 90% Wheeler sibling feels.
🤫 - Steddie Big Bang (this has gone under so many genre changes, all I'll say it's still a romance and has a happy ending. I'll write 3 sentences, and share some stuff from ⚔️)
🛼 - Sapphic Mini Bang (90s Bubblescoop with background Stommy; I'll write 3 sentences, and 👩‍👩‍👦)
**NEW** 🤸‍♂️- I'm going to yeet @tinytalkingtina into a Stedissy aerobics AU, as voted by the @strangerthingswritersguild. I don't make the rules ig. (JK, it's just an aerobics Stedissy AU. Someone will be yeeted though, I respect the democratic process.)
Tagging: @yesdangerpls @machtaholic @augustjustice @cloudsurfing42 @queenie-ofthe-void @felixir-of-moths @sourw0lfs @vthx @pearynice and anyone else who wants to play!
NSFW (cw: period typical thought processes, some roleplay that could edge towards a dubcon scenario; let me know in DM if I missed any cw) snippet of the #steithweek fic below.
"Oh, fuck, this is happening," Keith babbled, leaning more fully against the counter behind him. "Uh, right. Boris Karloff—remember the name Harrington, he was, uh—"
Steve tuned out the actual words, and let the cadence of Keith's voice fill the air around him. The way he stuttered when Steve wrapped a palm around the base of his cock, the way his voice went higher when Steve pressed a kiss against the tip. He'd never actually done this before, given another guy a blow job. He'd gotten gay head once, from a dude outside a club in Indy when he and Robin had braved the city over the summer, but this was his first time on his knees for another guy.
He liked it, he thought. It wasn't so different from doing this for girls, and he'd liked that a lot. Making them feel good, using his mouth to get them off while they gripped his hair and directed his head where they wanted it. Keith wasn't there yet, his hands were clenched on the edge of the counter, as if he wasn't sure he had permission to touch anywhere else, but Steve decided that was fine for now. Until he knew what he was doing, anyway.
"Fuck, Harrington, that's good," Keith moaned, when Steve pulled him all the way out of his pants and put his mouth over the head of his cock.
He didn't suck, just held him inside his mouth, getting used to the weight of a cock on his tongue, but from the way Keith sounded it was the best thing he'd ever felt. Steve grinned internally, feeling powerful and more himself than he'd felt in a long time. King Steve still had it, it seemed, even if he was on his knees and roleplaying an employee worried about losing his job.
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thatgirlwhokeepsreading · 2 years ago
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[I am fine I am just saving people who don't want to see my covid venting]
Listen, for complete transparency I am behind on my covid boosters + still way more lax about masking than I should be, but I do have my reusable N95 + N99 masks that I wear everywhere bar my desk at work, students' houses*, or at home. We got the HEPA filters running 24/7 at home**. I STAY HOME WHEN IM SICK. I also remain very boring and masking in public aside I also really don't go to places where I'll be around strangers bar attending theatre (which is my JOB).
I am primarily concerned about covid, but to avoid people feeling the need to grill me I will sometimes swerve to say that my PhD advisor has bad lungs + is immunocompromised and so I'm actually not able to see her if I have ANY respiratory infection (which is also true). But also people look™️ at me in public and will sometimes directly challenge my masking, and sometimes (especially in theatre settings) I will get really pissed by this and actually grow a spine about it and talk about how not only are people dying and being disabled but also the theatre industry in Australia COLLAPSED and in order to keep my Fucking Job I NEED us to make it safe to gather in person. (Also I'm working in disabled theatre rn so... y'know... let's not kill our fellow artists y'all!!)
So this established, yesterday was the second time in less than three months that my brother's gf has come over while symptomatically sick. Last time she was fucken putting her toothbrush touching mine and everything so both myself and my brother got sick. I haven't been sick since early 2021, I suspect largely because I mask (which rocks imo), but then she comes over for a visit without telling my brother or anyone else she's unwell bc she's turned a negative RAT (it was negative RAT tests from all involved the whole illness so inshallah not covid).
That time she knew she was sick sick, and so even though she says yesterday she thought it was just hayfever that honestly doesn't win her much credit with me bc it clearly doesn't actually matter to her. And now she has turned a positive RAT and I am just apoplectic with rage. (My brother is also pretty fucken put out because she is apparently consistently not telling him if she's ill before they meet up, including when he goes over to hers.)
I am angry enough that I am waiting until I'm calmer to make it an official call, but honestly I am considering just banning her from our house. Ma'am you work in allied health what's not fucking clicking???
Like she's very apologetic and I appreciate that and MAYBE I'd be a bit more forgiving (given her symptoms were pretty mild and she does have my sympathy about trying to differentiate hayfever and illness) if I hadn't already been made "week in bed" sick by her THIS SAME FUCKEN RESEARCH QUARTER.
I also know that I'm extra mad bc at the moment she's acting as a symbol for my brain of all the people who should know better but don't even try, for the government policy that is going to kill the presence of the artform I love in this country and also like.... SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. Like she did not individually do that. But what she has done is at best risked and at worst transmitted this fucking virus to me and my housemates, after ALREADY making 2/3 of us sick less than 90 days ago, and I'm angry I'm so so so angry.
*this is probably the really risky choice
**which has also done wonders for the asthma so that's a nice bonus
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waterfallofspace · 2 months ago
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Will you PLEASEEEE make a caretaking audio? I just think it would be so sweet to listen to your take on a sick listener.
I was not entirely sure how to do this, and I don't really love my voice so it was a bit hard to imagine what this should be, but I tried to use the actual voice I use with people irl when they need comfort, mixed with a few of the phrases/pet names I'd normally use, all in all I hope this came off alright?~ is a little less 'listener' though a little more 'partner', scenario type deal, but I hope that's still comforting/good?~
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mozzaremi · 1 year ago
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jamboreeartsupplies · 8 months ago
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they're getting fitted for a new clownsuit !!!! not done yet but soon hopefully!
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strohller27 · 2 months ago
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#okay. so. the problem. with independent contract work?#is that. if everything is overwhelming. I can’t just. show up. do a job. and leave knowing I'll still be paid.#Nope. with this work? If I can’t make any money because I’m paralysed by being overwhelmed? Welp that’s All My Fault^TM#if I can’t make myself go find the clients and ask them very nicely for money?? then I get nothing!!#and that ~*must*~ mean that I ~*~*do not want it badly enough*~*~ /s#look. with independent contractor work it takes a lot of extra work just for the *opportunity* to make money#whereas with my normal regular job (THAT MY BOSS STILL WANTS ME TO HAVE BY THE WAY) I can just. show up.#make sure I do enough. and go home knowing that I’ll still make enough money to at least afford my rent. even if I can’t give it 110%#But now I can't. & so. you know what I was doing this month?#I started it by *barely* being able to afford rent (which I would not have been able to do without the help of some very kind people)#(so HUGE shoutout to the people who helped me out! in these quiet tags)#& then I nearly ran out of groceries. I’ve been rationing everything I have in the house & going to the food bank#I even went on the local buy nothing group and basically begged for people’s expired food#and I’ve also had to try to figure out how to pass an insurance exam on 14 days worth of honestly *terrible* information#(and I SOMEHOW passed despite the course NOT EVEN COVERING certain information that was on the exam!!)#and when I passed the exam they sent me a contract that basically says ‘yay congrats now you have the right to work (by yourself) for us!#‘no guarantee you’ll be paid tho! if you want money you’re gonna have to fucking EARN it yourself bitch! good luck!’#and I got a tutoring job that’s basically the same idea. the contract is like ‘congratulations you can now use our resources!#But if you don’t put in extra work (that you won’t be compensated for) looking for people to ask for money then you can’t have any!’#Like. I'm sorry. I used up all my ‘begging people for resources’ energy asking for people’s expired groceries#and I feel like maybe half of people only gave me groceries because they think I’m from Ukraine#which makes me feel a SPECIAL KIND OF WRETCHED (like I’m stealing groceries from people who need them more!!)#I’ve spent this whole month hungry lonely overwhelmed and just generally terrified#I have to constantly fight SO hard not to lay down on the floor and just give up#the only thing I feel motivated to do is draw art because at least that’s making me feel connected to others & like what I do matters#I did finish my goals for the day and that’s good. so I don’t want to say I feel guilty for making art. because I don’t!!#But there's a pretty loud voice in my head that's saying 'well if you have energy to make art. you should have energy to go get clients!'#You know what little voice in my head? you can FUCK RIGHT OFF because making art is very low effort comparatively#you know what's *not* low-effort? working really hard for the *potential* to earn & then not being guaranteed it'll even get you anywhere#& moving into the last two weeks of a month. where you have loan payments & rent due soon & no money. & no energy to go earn it.
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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see, i have nothing to lose on here. people i thought were friends already abandoned me, showing they weren't really friends, had no faith in me as a person, and also showing they wanted an excuse to hate me anyways, so it's really. caution to the wind for me. idgaf. i'll say whatever about you, your momma, and your sister.
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submergedinmadness · 1 month ago
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yk what I'll also do this get to know your mutuals cuz I thought bout it for a bit and I think I have to or I'll explode
get to know your mutuals♡
if you could be any animal which one would you choose to be? (can be fictional) (and you can explain why if you want to)
what would you choose when you're in a hurry and have nothing to wear?
are you a witch, vampire, fairy, dryad, siren or a mermaid and why do you think so?
what is your style?
regular milk or plant based milk?
which one do you put first milk or cereal?
fav way to kill someone? (idgaf if you never thought of it now you have to think of something and make it at least a bit cool I'm begging)
and I'll go first cuz I can
girl I wrote kinda a lot in these answers but I just had to brag about my fav way of killing people🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ and okay maybe it's kinda stupid that I'm also doing this game even tho I made it for others but who cares?
I can't choose but either a phoenix or a wolf cuz the allegory of both of these animals absolutely stole my heart
anything in my wardrobe that looks good (and it's almost always not adequate for the cold weather, I literally can wear a mini skirt when it's like 2°C outside and there are times when I am wearing a mini skirt and a crop top when it is 0°C and even when it was -3°C I don't care)
something in between vampire and a dryad cuz I feel like I would be a good vampire I don't know how to describe it but I just know and that's it and also a dryad cuz when I think of them they give me rather a messy and chaotic vibe which is def how I act and overall express myself so I'd say that I'm sometimes both sometimes one and sometimes the other
I'm goth so my style is overall gothic and / or cunty
regular but only 1,5% fat
CEREAL
sooo this is my fav way, first - pepper spray in the face so they can't see and therefore they can't run away, second - start scratching their legs with a pocket knife as hard as possible and try to find an aorta and cut there (making it even harder to run away), third - stick the same knife into all of their fingers (why not), fourth - knock out their teeth with a knuckle duster and finally - when they open their mouth trying to catch a breath from the blood and saliva running into their throat pour fluoroantimonic acid into their mouth and it's done! and I'll add that fluoroantimonic acid is called the most corrosive acid in the world ans if it touches the skin it causes huge damage and if poured into someones throat it'll burn the insides and kill. I think I'm really creative cuz I came up with this when I was writing one of my books and now I'm obsessed
tags: @n1eprzytomnadesperacja @niketas-s @r4tkisses @dawkacynizmu @gothicm0rph @slowacki006
and with question 7 rn I'm mostly thinking about one bbg ( @dawkacynizmu I'm looking at you ) cuz a bit after I came up with this question I thought that you might have an interesting answer
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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 2 months ago
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then send me a son
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pairing: joel miller x reader
cws/tags: so much angst (w/ happy ending! i swear), discussion of suicide attempt (the canon one), suicidal ideations, losing a child, losing a parent, survivors guilt, discussions of abortion, unplanned pregnancy, p in v, oral sex, virginity loss (but it's not that big of deal/not a kink), both dealing w grief, ellie is dead, this is set in jackson post tlou pt I
summary: joel is put on suicide watch after he returns to jackson w/o ellie and reader becomes his 'caregiver' of sorts. lowkey enemies to lovers but also not bc it's kinda one-sided 'hatred'
a/n: author is pro-choice! and also understands the complexities of mental health that reader and joel do not at times (just wanted to make it clear that i understand... from personal experience... what depression is like as well as suicidal ideation).
title is from the song 'the suburbs' by arcade fire, but listen to the entirety of the suburbs (album) and funeral (album) if you want to understand my mindframe while writing this
the last sentence is a quote and i've reblogged it before but i'll find the image and post it/reblog it again
wc: 9.4k
masterlist | ko-fi | taglist
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Joel is just surprised Tommy has the gall to ask, “Where’s Ellie?” when he arrives in Jackson alone. 
In this world, when two people leave and only one comes back, you don’t ask because you already know what happened. You wait for that person to tell you about a miracle, and when they don’t, you know for sure. 
“Heaven, if you believe in that sort of thing,” is Joel’s response. 
But Joel doesn’t believe in Heaven or Hell, or anything other than ashes and dirt. 
“I don’t know what to say,” Tommy says because he’d already said ‘I’m sorry’ when Sarah died, and that didn’t bring her back. 
It takes a hefty amount of booze to get Joel to tell the story.
“I just hope she died for something. Then, at least, I’ll know I’m being selfish.”
I didn’t get that with Sarah, he thinks. She didn’t die for a ‘noble cause’. He doubts Ellie did either. 
“You’re being put on watch,” Maria tells him the next morning – when he’s sober and asking what his duties are now that he’s back. 
Life goes on, which means work goes on, so what’s my job? As long as it’s not burning bodies, I’ll be okay. 
“Watch? Like I’m watching, or I’m being watched.”
“Being watched.”
He asks why, though he doesn’t need to. Tommy knows why he’s got that scar on his forehead. 
“Fucking authoritarian bullshit,” he mutters, half into his pillow. “Thought you were a communist.”
“I am. And this has nothing to do with that.”
“I bet Tommy put you up to it anyway.”
“He didn’t ‘put me up to anything’.”
“But he told you, didn’t he?”
“He told me a long time ago.”
“Figures. You always knew I was a coward.”
“You say stuff like that, and then act like you don’t need help.”
“I didn’t say I don’t need help. I said I don’t want it.”
She’s silent, letting him continue. “Now let me grieve in peace, will you?”
She hums something akin to agreement, but asks for something that sounds like protest to him. “Where’s your gun?”
“Which one?”
“All of ‘em.”
He tells her because he doesn’t want Tommy or anyone else searching through all his bullshit because that’s what happens if he doesn’t give ‘em up.
“Want my kitchen knives too?” he says, almost wryly. 
She takes most of them, but leaves the more blunt ones out of sympathy. He can have butter on his toast. Unless she takes the toaster so he can’t take it with him in the bathtub. 
She leaves the toaster, and then, leaves him alone. 
Quite frankly, he’s too old to kill himself. Sure, people do it at his age, but he’s so goddamn tired. Moreover, he knows he could get someone else to do it pretty easily. Maybe he could be a martyr. He could save someone from a clicker or a soldier. He could save someone’s life for once. But would that be enough to save his soul? To make it to Heaven and see Ellie and Sarah again?
Maybe, he would, if God really does love people the way some say he does. But if Joel was God, he’d deny himself entry.
He stays in bed for the rest of the day. Aside from the two times he eats. And once in the middle of the night to take a piss because he may be depressed, but the last of his dignity is motivation enough not to wet the bed. 
He doesn’t shower or change his clothes. Not like he’s wearing a shirt anyway, just boxers ‘cause it’s too hot outside and he doesn’t want to get up and turn on the fan. Sleep doesn’t come easy, but it comes. It comes because it has to, reluctant as it is.
He wakes up to the voice of an unfamiliar woman. Quieter than Ellie or Sarah, less stern than Maria or Tess. Not like he was expecting to hear from three out of four of those women, not outside of his dreams. 
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You’ve always cared about people, saving lives and all that. But you’re no good with a gun, so Tommy finds a better job than patrol for you.  
“You’re going to be watching my brother, Joel.”
“Like, spying on him?”
“No, like making sure he doesn’t kill himself.”
A suicidal man is nothing new, especially in this world, but Tommy’s bluntness about it is. He acts as if it’s a normal job. Like the ones in office buildings that sound wonderful even though the people who tell you about them assure you it was barely better than life is now. This new watchmen position is the same as patrol, in a way. Terrifying in the gravity it holds. You have to keep someone alive.
You can shoot deer, you can run quickly, you can hide well. You can survive on your own. But, at age 10, your mom bled out as you sat by her side. You were too weak to carry her, to dig a grave and bury her. Your survival feels unearned, but you’re no good with guns. You’d miss if you tried to do it. That’s a rare thought anyway, and surely not one you plan to ever speak aloud. They’d put you on watch too, which sounds suffocating, in all honesty.
You don’t know Joel. You’ve heard his name in passing, but you arrived in Jackson during the period of time he was gone. He was going to take some girl to some hospital for something or other. 
“What about that girl?” you ask. “Is she not taking care of him?”
“She’s not around anymore.”
“Oh,” you say. 
He just nods. The ‘why’ of the whole arrangement makes sense, but you’re still unclear on the ‘how’. Am I just supposed to stay in his house 24/7? Is he allowed to shower on his own? Do I have to cook or do laundry?
“Just check in on him. He’s not the most… personable, but don’t take anything he says to heart.”
Just check in on him. It sounds simpler than it will be, you know that much. Even keeping a plant alive takes more than ‘checking in on it’. 
You arrive at his house around 10 AM. You assume he’ll be awake, but when you look around his living room and kitchen, you can’t find him. Oh God, you think. What if he’s… 
He’s asleep in bed. You’re pretty sure. He’s lying there and there’s no evidence that anything’s wrong, but when you say his name from the doorway, he doesn’t move. So, you walk closer to him, just to make sure he’s breathing. 
“Joel,” you say softly – because your other option is reaching out to touch him, and you feel that’s a little too personal, especially when he’s not wearing a shirt. 
“Who the Hell are you and how did you get into my house?” he says. 
“Tommy sent me.”
“Oh, so they’re making you watch me?”
“Yeah.”
You’re glad he knows about the arrangement. Maybe he’ll give you some direction on what to do with him. 
“Must hate you if they stuck you with me.” 
You can’t tell if he’s being ironic, but you hope so. Still, you don’t know how to respond. You decide on a simple, “I’ll let you get some sleep. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
Though you’re alone in the room, you sit with perfect posture on Joel’s couch, looking around at the decor – or lack thereof – looking for clues about who this man is. 
You think about making him breakfast, but you’d have to raid his cabinets to do so, and you’re terrified to make any missteps when it comes to Joel. You don’t think he’ll kill himself over burnt toast, but there is a persistent need lodged inside your brain to make him like you. It’s a little selfish when you should be focused on just keeping him alive, but maybe if he likes you, he’ll feel better, maybe you’ll feel better too. That’s still nothing but the ever-lingering hope in your heart. But it’s something.
He comes downstairs eventually, in a t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. 
“Good morning,” you say. 
“No, it ain’t,” he says, heading in the direction of the kitchen. 
“Do you want me to help you with anything? Breakfast or coffee?”
“I can make my own damn coffee, kid.”
And he does. The first shred of kindness you get from him is an offer to pour you a cup. 
“I’m alright, but thank you.”
He sits down in a chair across from you and sips his coffee as you watch him awkwardly. 
“Are you really gonna do that all day?”
“Do what?”
“Sit there and stare at me.”
“I don’t know what else to do.”
“You could leave, for starters.”
“I’ll get in trouble.”
“What? You afraid Tommy’ll get upset with you?”
“A little.”
“He’s a softie. I wouldn’t worry too much.”
You are worried. Sure, you want Tommy to be happy with you, but moreover, you don’t want to leave Joel alone lest something happen to him. You might not know the guy very well, but you’d hate to see someone take their own life. 
“Can I just stay here? I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
He shrugs, and you take it as a yes.
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He does not need a caregiver or a watchman. He does not need you, but you look like a kicked puppy and there’s no way he’ll force you to leave. Another young girl he’ll reluctantly let stick by his side. It’s almost cruel of Tommy to send someone like you. Someone young and full of life. Someone he has a hard time pushing away. 
He should’ve sent Joel a crotchety old bitch or a drill sergeant. Maybe Tommy thinks he’s doing Joel a favor by giving him a nice girl, polite and eager to please. It’s a good thing your chipper attitude irritates him. It’s the first item on the very small list of qualities that Joel dislikes.
At first, he insists on making his own food. You’re still a guest, even if he’s reluctant to have you as one. It doesn’t matter where he lives, he’ll always have been raised in Texas. He’ll always hear his mother calling him out on his lack of manners. His hospitality is force of habit.
Plus, if he lets you do anything for him, he’ll owe you something – at least in his mind. And he doesn’t want to owe anyone anything. He doesn’t want to give or get or build any kind of rapport with you whatsoever, especially since you seem to take all attention as progress, despite the fact that Joel is harsh with you most of the time. 
The whole ordeal makes him feel like more of a failure than he did before. He couldn’t save Ellie, or Sarah for that matter, and now he’s being forced into his own retirement or held hostage depending on how you look at it, so he can’t even get the satisfaction that productivity brings.
He also finds himself pretty fucking bored without work. He became so used to being in constant battle, even in his sleep. One wrong move and he was dead. The worst injury he’s gotten in the past few weeks was a paper cut.
Reading was never his biggest hobby, but it’s not bad when you find the right book. Often, you’ll sit across the room from him and read a book of your own, and the silence as he relaxes into the couch is quite peaceful for a change. 
No amount of peace and quiet can cure his boredom, though. It makes him antsy, and you notice. You notice a lot when your job is just staring at him, it seems.
“I found a book of crossword puzzles,” you announce. 
“Congratulations,” Joel says. 
“I thought since you were bored, I’d give them to you, and maybe you could do them…”
By the look on your face, he can guess that you’re regretting your words. Lest he make you cry, he accepts the book. 
“Plus, it looks kind of old so I don’t know if I’d know how to do it myself,” you add.
He knows you don’t mean it as an insult, but it sounds like one, and it makes him laugh. The list of qualities Joel likes about you is already long — and buried deep in his subconscious — but he’ll have to add the fact that you can make him laugh.
“Are you calling me old?”
“Not in a bad way. You’re just older than I am.”
He flips through the book and finds that about 80% of them are done. 
“Somebody did most of these already.”
“I’m sorry… maybe I could erase that person’s answers and then you could do them?”
“I think I’d still be able to tell.”
You hang your head in defeat. 
“Gimme a pencil and I’ll try the ones that aren’t done yet.”
You look through his junk drawer, find a pencil, and hand it to him. He doesn’t expect you to sit on the couch next to him. 
“I know you’re supposed to watch me, but you don’t have to watch that closely.”
You move away slightly, no longer looking over his shoulder. 
“I was just curious about the answers.”
“I was kidding around,” he says (though, it’s only a half-truth). “Come back here.”
It takes him about a week to finish the book. 
“Had to go back and fix some of the others,” he says. “The person who originally filled ‘em out was an idiot.”
“That’s not very nice. Maybe it was a kid.”
“Kid had great handwriting, then.”
You pause, hesitating for a reason he can’t pinpoint. 
“What? You want me to say sorry for calling that guy an idiot. ‘Cause I will if it matters that much to you.”
“No, no, fuck that guy, he was an idiot,” you say, clearly taking after him. 
“Language, Missy,” he says, jokingly scolding you. 
“Sorry. I should stop swearing.”
“It’s okay. You probably picked it up from me anyway.”
“Maybe,” you agree. You’re fidgeting, holding something behind your back, he notices. 
“Whatcha got there?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” you say, holding it out to him. “I just figured since you finished the crossword book, I should get you more.”
He only did the crosswords for you. He never really cared for them anyway. He just wanted to make you happy — he’d rather have you content than pissy or whiny. The only thing worse than your constant insistence on getting his approval would be if you just sat there and cried all day.
He’d tried to give the book back to you, but you couldn’t do ‘em on your own since you were lacking in 90s pop culture knowledge. So, he did them, with you watching over his shoulder the whole time. 
He’s about to admit this to you and hand the new one back over to you when he looks at the pages – white paper, stapled together, all drawn up in pen. 
“Did you make these?” he asks, in awe of both your ability to draw perfectly straight lines, and moreover, how much you must care if you’re willing to go to these lengths. Kiss-ass behavior, he tells himself.
You nod, and he gets the sudden urge to hug you, but opts for a thank you with a smile he can’t repress.
“You didn’t have to do all this, but it’s very sweet of you.”
He considers taking back the ‘very sweet’ comment when he finds that 3 down is four letters with the prompt “grumpy old man”. JOEL fits perfectly in the blank spaces. 
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You go on walks, read endless books, and Joel finally lets you start taking on some of the housework. It should be nice, but you get the feeling he’s not all that happy about this situation. Not that he tells you it outright. He doesn’t tell you much at all. And you’ve tried. It’s not like you’re asking hard-hitting questions. 
“How old are you?” 
“56.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Blue.”
He doesn’t even bother to ask the same question back to you. Sometimes, he doesn’t even look up at you when you speak to him. You know it’s the depression of losing someone close to you, you know what that feels like – the problem is, you don’t know how to fix it. You only know how to hide it.
It’s quite simple, in theory. All you have to do is give him the desire to get out of bed every day. But you don’t even know what he likes. All you know is that your presence is not high on his list of favorite things. You try and try until you swear his shitty attitude is rubbing off on you. 
Tommy checks in with you periodically, asking you how things are going with Joel, and this would be the perfect opportunity for you to get out of this position, which Joel would probably love, but to spite him, you tell Tommy it’s going well.
And it is, in a way – Joel is not actively mean to you. He doesn’t insult you or argue with you, he just mostly ignores you. So, you figure if you ignore him, maybe he’ll miss your attention. Stupid teenage bullshit mindset, acting like you have a crush on him, playing some sort of push and pull game that he’s not even privy to. 
But that’s not like you. That brooding behavior is all Joel, so it lasts no more than a day or so until you go back to trying, and accept the fact that he’s just an asshole. Doesn’t mean you have to be one. 
You never expected to win him over with the crossword puzzles but you see the look in his eyes when you give him the homemade ones, and you know there’s something in there besides all that pain. You know that look, can’t put a name to it, all you know is that it’s a good sign, one you had yet to see from Joel.
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Joel wouldn’t have thought he’d get tired of hearing someone ask, “can I do anything for you?”, constantly begging to dote on him, to care for him. The last time someone did this for him was on Father’s Day, which is an ancient holiday now, almost mythical.
But it’s been weeks of the same old shit. It has nothing to do with you. In fact, you’re probably the best ‘caregiver’ he could’ve gotten stuck with. Thing is, though, he doesn’t want a caregiver, and he’s tired of said caregiver bombarding him. It’s enough to just have her watching him like a hawk, but yapping in his ear is another thing. Because he enjoys the quiet (and because the way you ask him questions reminds him of Ellie.)
It’s a joke, a stupid joke. It’s his patience wearing thin.
“Can I get you anything?” you ask. 
“Sure. A beer, maybe. And a fuckin’ blowjob,” he mutters. Yeah, that’d be the dream but it’s a joke, bordering on a jab at you. 
“I don’t think we have any beer,” you say. You both know damn well there’s no alcohol in the house. 
“I know.”
“And, as for the other thing- is that something that you’d want… me to do?”
“Hey,” his tone softens. “Sweetheart, it was a joke. I was messing with you.”
“Okay, so you don’t want that, correct?”
“It was a joke. I’m sorry I even said it.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you say, sheepishly. “It’s your house, your rules, right?”
The concept of free speech in his house was one he’d brought up regarding ‘swear words’— It’s his house so he’s allowed to say ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, ‘bitch’, and every other word he could come up with, and he came up with some deep cuts just to make you laugh. Admittedly, it’s a nice sound.
“Yeah.” He thinks for a moment. “I just think that these sorts of topics aren’t appropriate for someone…”
“You know I’m an adult, right, Joel?”
“Yes, I know, but you’re still young and you seem a little innocent. I don’t want to put those types of thoughts in your head.”
“I know what a blowjob is, and I know what sex is. I just haven’t found the right person yet. That doesn’t mean I’ve never thought about it or whatever.”
You rarely snap at him, so he knows that word — innocent — must’ve been more offensive than he’d meant it. Maybe you’re not innocent. Maybe you’re just kind and a hell of a lot younger than him. Maybe it just seems like you should be.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just saying that I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“But do you want it?” You punctuate every word with a newfound annoyance.
“It’s not about that.”
“Yes it is.” You’re quite incredulous for someone who has been presented with the idea only a moment ago.
“Fine. Yes, in theory, if we were just two people who know each other, then, sure, if you offered, I’d say yes.”
“I offered.”
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The way he calls you ‘sweetheart’ feels more like an insult than a term of endearment. You’d rather be ‘kid’ or nothing at all, anything less patronizing. It’s worse when he calls you innocent. You’re not innocent, you’re just nice — something that Joel is not. You’re painfully nice. You’ve heard it makes people like you. You’re still waiting on the results, though.
But, if he’d ordered you to suck him off, you’d have kneed him in the balls, and he would’ve thought twice about calling you ‘sweetheart’. The thing is, he doesn’t. Instead, he backs away from the opportunity, tells you it was a joke. 
But you see two things behind his eyes: one, he wants this. He might not want to want this, but he does. More importantly, you see his genuine concern for your well-being override this desire and you realize you feel safer around him than you do around most men. That’s one of the reasons that you do give him ‘a fuckin’ blowjob’. The other being that, sometimes, before you go to bed, you can’t sleep, and a certain man comes to mind as your fingers slip beneath the waistband of your panties. 
When you reiterate that you offered, you exchange a long stare wherein you try to reach into each other’s souls and sort this shit out but when you both realize you can’t, Joel says, “Okay.”
And you say, “Okay.”
A new kind of tension bubbles to the surface as Joel sits down on the couch and you kneel before him. 
You fiddle with his belt, eventually managing to get it undone, but Joel does the rest of the work it takes to get his pants down to his ankles, boxers too. 
You’d imagined he’d be big, but that’s how fantasies work. Every man’s dick is big in your lewd daydreams, but it’s like you manifested it with Joel. You begin to feel like you’re in over your head, and though you aren’t innocent, you aren’t experienced enough to take him. But who are you to back down from a challenge?
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Joel can see hesitation wash over your face for the first time. You pause, study the scene like you’re trying to decide your approach, and then you take his cock in your hand, looking up at him like you’re asking for the green light.
He gives you the go-ahead with the only piece of advice he thinks you’ll need. “Just don’t bite, and you’ll do fine.”
He probably should’ve mentioned another thing: don’t take too much at once or you’ll choke. His head lolls back and his eyes fall closed the moment your lips meet the tip of it. He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t want you to feel intimidated by his presence while you’re exploring, so to speak. He lets out a low groan of approval to let you know he’s still with you.
But he’s fading into a beautiful oblivion until he hears you gag, feels you sputter and it shocks him out of that blissful feeling. His eyes snap open and he cradles the back of your head. 
“Easy, easy,” he says. “Don’t hurt yourself.” 
You pull away briefly and catch your breath. 
“That’s good,” he says. “Breathe, baby.”
He can see you looking for instructions, so he takes your hand and helps you get a firm grip on his cock, sliding your hand up and down, and finally letting you do it on your own. 
“Doin’ good, baby,” he says. “You gotta give your mouth a break sometimes.”
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You’ve never gotten anything close to praise from Joel before. It’d warm your heart like nothing else if it weren’t so goddamn sexy in this context. 
You nod, wipe the spit from your chin, and give your mouth a brief break, but you can’t hold yourself back forever. Soon, your lips are back on his cock, kissing from the base to the tip, flicking your tongue over the head, seeing what reactions you can get from him. 
When you get into the rhythm of hand and mouth in tandem, you barely register him telling you that he’s gonna come. 
You imagine it’s an acquired taste but it’s not awful. You can swallow it. So, you do, and you look up at him with a smile. 
He looks like he’s woken up from a dream and he’s still getting his bearings straight, but he’s quick to stand up and take your hand. 
“Where are we going?”
“To my bed.”
You’d follow him anywhere but bed does sound good to you right now. It sounds like an adventure. You don’t go into his bedroom unless absolutely necessary. You’d think he was hiding something horrible in there if you didn’t have a mutual feeling regarding your own bedroom.
“Are we going to have sex?” you ask. 
“No,” he says. 
“Then, what are we going to do?”
“You,” he begins. “Are going to lie back and relax.”
He coaxes you to lie down, and he doesn’t have to try hard. 
“I,” he continues. “Am going to make you feel good.”
You’re fairly certain about what he means, so there’s nothing left for you to do but let him do the work. It’s just another part of the job you’ll have to learn from experience.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he says. 
You nod. 
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Let’s get you out of these clothes,” he says, playing with the hem of your t-shirt. 
“Wait-” you say, sitting up, and he withdraws. “Can we kiss… first?”
He looks surprised for a moment, and you worry you’ve fucked up. 
“I just feel like we should do that,” you say, much quieter.
“Yeah,” he says. “I guess that makes sense.”
His hand cups your cheek and he looks you in the eyes like he’s trying to find answers somewhere in there. 
“Has anyone ever kissed you before?”
“Not really, not the way I want you to kiss me.”
“Feels a bit rude of me to have put my dick in your mouth before you’d even been kissed.”
Still, he leans in and kisses you, but it’s soft, gentle. It’s not a peck on the lips, though, it’s more. It gradually gains momentum and passion. Eventually, he slips his tongue in your mouth and you take it in stride. 
“You’re very good at this,” he says. “If I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t think this was your first time.”
“Is that a compliment?” you ask, doubting Joel is capable of such things.
He ignores your question, and sighs. You know it’s not directed at you because you’re fairly sure he’s not listening.
“I know I said I was gonna do some things with you, but I don’t wanna take things too fast, okay?”
“Are you saying you’re just going to kiss me?”
“I think that’d be the right thing to do.”
“That’s not fair,” you whine.
You wish you could sound sexy, or whatever, but you probably come off like a bratty child.  
“Excuse me?”
“That’s not fair. You said you’d make me feel good. I thought you were gonna return the favor.”
“I was.”
“Then, why are you backing out?”
You’re shocked that he’s the pussy — pun-intended — in this scenario.
“I thought it might be too much for you.”
You grab his hand and slip it under the flimsy fabric of your shorts. 
His eyes go wide. 
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Fucking hell, you’re wet, is the only thought on Joel’s mind. It makes sense. He’d be offended, maybe even worried if you were dry as a desert down there, but he’s barely touched you. Either you really enjoyed kissing him or you actually liked sucking him off too.
He gently presses the pads of his fingers against the wet spot on your panties.
“You’re right, baby. It’s only fair if I help you out.”
He’s able to get your shorts and your panties down in one swift pull. You look impressed by the action. Just you wait, he thinks. He’s not an expert by any means, but it’s not too hard to learn if you pay attention — and sex is one of the only times Joel does listen — it’s also not a skill you lose over time. It’s muscle memory, or maybe it’s innate.
His thumb rubs your clit lazily as he watches your face scrunch up in pleasure, your eyes fill with need. When the first finger slips inside you, he hears a breathy sigh come from above — it sounds like relief though he knows you haven’t come yet.
He’s never had a woman have such a strong reaction to his lips on her clit. It almost startles him at first. You’re frantic from the moment his lips meet your skin, crying out for him like you’re scared he’ll stop.
“Hey,” he says, “I’m right here. Don’t have to get so worked up. I’m gonna take care of you.”
He can’t say another word because his lips are occupied, so he relies on his hands, his soothing touch, to tell you that everything is alright. He gets the urge to tell you how good you are for him, how good you taste, how pretty you are like this, but he knows it’d be cruel to let up now. He’s callous often, sometimes harsh, but rarely cruel.
His instinct tells him to drag this out, to make your thighs shake, to have tears running down your cheeks, to tease you. To be the asshole that he tends to be when you’re around (and when you’re not). This is a version of Joel you might come to like.
He’s lived long enough to be well-practiced in this field of life. Doesn’t matter if he’s particularly romantic or even sociable, it’s just happened enough times over the course of fifty plus years for him to know the ins and outs. He can get you there quickly and lead you through it slowly.
He’s so used to you saying his name in a tone he considers pestering that he’s begun to hate the word itself. But when it’s drawn out and desperate like this, it sounds wonderful.
You’re at his mercy, he thinks. Which means he’s in control. And, as much as he’d hate to admit it, control does not mean he can kill you, control means he can care for you.
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When you come down from your high, Joel is looking up at you from between your thighs with messy hair and kiss-dark lips. His smile looks like one of pride. Your cheeks heat up, only half-remembering what just happened. You could describe the event simply in a cause and effect relationship — he went down on you, so you came. You know what an orgasm feels like, but that was something beyond anything you’d ever experienced before. You fear an addiction may be coming on.
Your voice comes out shaky, which only makes your first words after a long silence sound stupider. “Thank you.”
He looks confused, and it takes him a moment to respond. “My pleasure,” he says, and you swear it might be when you see a semi through his sweatpants.
You’d offer more ‘help’ but you truly don’t think you can manage it. You can feel your body pulling you towards sleep. Your eyes have barely opened and they want to close again.
Joel notices because how could he not, you’re completely naked in every sense of the word.
“Get some rest,” he says before standing up.
He’s leaving.
“Where are you going?” you ask, instinctively.
“Downstairs.”
You do not want to say it. The fear of rejection is too strong, but so is the sudden urge to cry. Holding back tears is a strength of yours, though, so Joel never sees them. Somehow, after doing one of the most adult things, you feel like a baby in the wake of it. You are supposed to be taking care of him, and you are failing.
“What?” is his response to your refusal to meet his eyes.
“I just assumed you were going to stay. That’s all.”
“I can. If that’s what you need me to do.”
You don’t say anything. He climbs into bed anyway after picking up your underwear and handing it to you.
He doesn’t hold you but he doesn’t leave either. What he does do is kiss you on the forehead when he thinks you’re already asleep. It’s a compromise between your fear and your desire.
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It isn’t as weird as one might think it would be — acting as if you’ve never done anything remotely sexual with one another. It’s easier because you don’t have to go back to being friends. You never really were. It was always awkward. What’s new? Only your knowledge that at least some of your feelings are mutual. Only the fact that you think about having sex with him every time he’s in front of you. It’s really just out of curiosity sometimes. What would he be like in bed? Does he want it too? How would you even broach the subject?
Sometimes, it’s not just curiosity. Those days are harder to navigate. You have to pretend like every little touch — most of them accidental — fuels the fire. It’s not the sensation itself. It’s just the acute awareness of his body, how close it is to yours, how easily you could reach out and touch him, that enters your mind.
“You’re staring.” Joel says from the other side of the couch.
“Sorry. I zoned out.”
“Got something’ on your mind?”
“Not really.”
“C’mon, what is it?”
“Why do you suddenly care about my thoughts?” About me.
“You think I didn’t care about you before? You’ve been in my house everyday for months now.”
“So?”
“And, I haven’t tried to kick you out yet.”
“You’re not allowed to kick me out. That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Okay. How ‘bout this: I’m down here sitting with you because I know you don’t like to be alone.”
“So you pity me?”
“No, if I pitied you, I’d have told Tommy to give you a new job.”
“Okay, so, you expect me to believe you care but you refuse to talk to me half the time.”
“I’m not much of a talker. But, now that I’m trying to talk to you, you’re shutting me out.”
“I’m not— It’s just not a big deal. I don’t even remember what I was thinking about anyway.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“I said, that’s bullshit.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll talk.”
You take a deep breath before speaking, one long enough that he gestures for you to go on.
“I was just thinking about what it would be like if we had sex.”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, since we, you know, we did that stuff… it’s not like it’s a totally crazy thought.”
“‘That stuff’? Be more specific, honey.”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“I do, but you can’t be thinking about having sex with me when you can’t even use big girl words when you’re talking about it.”
“It doesn’t even matter.” Your face is burning. It so, totally, does matter. “I was just curious.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Mm-hmm. Go on thinking, I’ll get back to reading.”
“Wait, what? You just made me tell you that to make me embarrassed? You’re not even gonna—”
“What? Gonna fuck you?”
The word slips out of his mouth so easily.
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Well, I’m not.”
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Truth is: he’s been thinking about you every day since. He only caught you staring because he was doing the same. He tries to restrain himself because it feels like the right thing to do.
But he still, he acquiesces and takes you upstairs to his bedroom.
He lays you down on the bed and undresses you slowly like you’re a gift and he doesn’t want to tear the paper. He places your clothes atop the dresser, but leaves his strewn across the floor.
Wonder fills your eyes as he reveals his naked body. Hesitation and awe wrapped up in one.
“Wow,” you say, breaking the silence, “it’s, um, you know— do you think it’ll fit?”
It’s not the first time he’s heard that. It no longer brings him that bashful pride that it did when he was younger. It’s just a fact. A nuisance sometimes.
“Not if we don’t get you ready first.”
“Do you need to get ready first too?”
He looks down at his cock, rock-hard and eager.
“No, baby, just looking at you is enough to get me ready.”
A thought crosses his mind — one he thought he’d left in his teenage years — what if he comes too quickly?
He lies back on the bed next to you and reaches for you, waits for you to let him maneuver you.
“Come here,” he says.
You sit up and face him, slowly inch towards his arms that beckon you.
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You’re fairly sure you know what he wants you to do. Sit on his face. But god, something about it seems awkward in the amount of control you simultaneously give up and are given in turn.
“You trust me, right?” he asks.
“Of course.”
An answer you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d give back when you first met.
“Then, come sit on my face.”
You swing your leg over him and steady yourself above his face.
He grips your thighs to guide you. You grip the headboard to save yourself from passing out the moment Joel’s mouth meets your skin.
Joel wouldn’t be the man you’d have thought would have such a talented tongue based on how little he uses it. You can’t blame him for not talking right now. Your moans echo off his bedroom walls and permeate the balmy summer air. The windows are closed and the curtains shield your naked bodies from the neighbors but even if you’d left them open, you wouldn’t have the sense to care.
You’re an incoherent mess of moans and half-words, trembling thighs and sweat. Your orgasm comes on strong, and if your eyes weren’t screwed shut, maybe you’d see the gates of heaven.
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It’s been a while since he’s done this. Tess never liked it like this and the last woman before her was one from another lifetime, pre-outbreak, an inconceivable world despite having once called it home.
He’s not really thinking about that, though, in this moment, all Joel can think of is you. Your skin, your sweat, your heat, and the pretty noises you make. At one point, he swears he hears his name though your thighs are covering his ears. And he doesn’t mind it one bit.
“I’m gonna pass out,” he hears from above him.
“No, you’re not. I’ve got you,” he tries to say, though surely his words are muffled.
“Don’t let me go.”
He doesn’t. He carefully helps you lie back on the bed. When he meets your gaze, he swears he’s never seen adoration like that in anyone’s eyes before. At least, not in a long time.
It terrifies him, but in spite of his hesitation, he holds you close.
A blanket of peaceful silence settles over your bare bodies.
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You speak quietly, trying not to awaken Joel’s senses. The ones that pull him away from you. The moment feels like glass in your hands.
“Are we going to have sex?”
“Hm?”
“We were going to, right? You were getting me ready for it.”
“I thought I wore you out.”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’d tell you if you were.”
He hesitates.
“I’ll be good. I promise.”
Those are the words that awaken his arousal. In an instant, you find his body looming above yours. He kisses you until your lips are red and puffy. He doesn’t break your gaze as he positions his cock at your entrance. Your green light is your needy hips begging him to fuck you.
He starts slow, even the head is a stretch. You scrunch up your face and hold back the urge to squirm.
“It’s gonna be a little uncomfortable at first, baby, and that’s why we’re gonna take it slow.”
Slow is an understatement. It takes ages for him to give you another inch — or maybe you’re just antsy. This one makes you whimper, makes you clamp down around him.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be fine.”
Joel’s voice is tender and sweet, and it gives you enough hope to ask for something you think he’d usually deny you.
“Can you hold my hand?”
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He interlocks his fingers with yours. It feels oddly natural. He doubts he’s heard someone ask to hold his hand since— not now, he’ll go soft if he thinks about her. He’ll close in on himself and you need him — in more ways than one.
He continues slowly as he promised he would until he hears your moans of pleasure and your pleas for more, more, more. More is a little bit faster, a little bit harder, as deep as you can take it, and most importantly, his thumb tracing circles on your clit.
You squeeze his hand with yours as your inner walls clamp down around him.
“Just let it happen. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
When you come, he does too — the most blissful mistake he’s ever made.
Curses fly out of his mouth through his orgasm, stopping briefly as he catches his breath, and resuming when he pulls out and watches as his come drips out of you.
“Fuck. Shit. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you insist. “I liked it.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” Because I fucking loved it. “But, it’s dangerous. We’ve gotta be more careful.”
In the future — it’s implied. Another time is nothing when the lines have all been crossed and when the other side brings him a warmth the hot summer never could.
You have more power over him than the sun.
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It becomes a routine — briefly — and you are more careful. You discreetly buy condoms, but when your next period doesn’t come, you fear it might be too late.
You don’t tell Joel, not at first. Sometimes, they’re irregular, and you don’t want to give the man a heart attack. But then a week passes, another week passes, and eventually you have to — especially when you’re beginning to feel a bit nauseous and have no other explanation for it. It’s better to say something before he asks.
“Joel,” you say, “I haven’t gotten my period yet.”
A look of horror crosses his face before he asks, “How late is it?”
You take a breath before admitting, “A few weeks.”
“How many?”
“Almost three.”
“Fuck.” He sighs in preemptive defeat. “Have you taken a test?”
“No, I thought it would come so I didn’t want to overreact.”
“We’re going to go get one.”
He stands up immediately and turns towards the door.
“Wait,” you say, stopping him in his tracks.
“I should probably get it. It’ll look less suspicious.”
No, it won’t. Those who suspect something is up with you, will have their suspicions, and those who don’t, won’t think to pay attention.
They recommend taking multiple because false negatives are common.
The first one is a clear positive, so clear you think it might be a false positive, so you wait to freak out until you see two lines come up on the second test.
Joel is silent, even when you hand him the test.
But, so are you, because what more is there to say? The tests say it all.
“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” he says, and you’re surprised until he clarifies.
“I doubt they’ll make you pay for the pill or the procedure — however they do it, but I’ll take care of you while you’re recovering. I’ll be there through it all. Promise.”
The pill or the procedure. The abortion that he expects you to have. Truth be told, you hadn’t really thought about what you’d do until now. It’s probably the right decision. Do you really want to bring a baby into this world? Can you even take care of one?
“Okay,” you say. “I’ll make an appointment.”
You save your tears for Maria. She approaches you in the clinic. You’d be delighted to see her at any other moment.
“Making an appointment?” she asks.
“Yeah, just a checkup,” you lie.
The woman at the counter clarifies with you. “Just a checkup? Is that what you’d prefer?”
You turn back and forth between her and Maria.
“Um, no,” you say, “keep it as is.”
Maria raises an eyebrow and there is nowhere left to hide. You might be able to outrun her, but she knows where you live and isn’t afraid to confront you at your doorstep.
She saves you some of your dignity when she whispers, “How about a chat at my place? I have some tea that helps with nausea.”
The tea is persuasive but you’d have to go anyway. You don’t speak on the walk to Maria’s. She brews the tea and you sit across from each other in the kitchen before she finally speaks.
“What’s the appointment for?” she asks. “And I’m not here to judge you, I just want the truth.”
You’re not my mom, you could say, but she’s the closest thing you’ve had to one since your own passed.
“An abortion,” you say quietly, looking down at the table, at your hands around the mug.
“Okay,” she says, gently. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
You try to reply but all the comes out is a sob.
Eventually, she pries the truth out of you. You explain what happened when you told Joel the news.
“So, he made the decision, and then told you he’d be there for you if he did what you wanted?”
“I guess. But, I think it might be the right choice. I mean, it'd be hard to raise a child in this world…” You cut yourself off when you look at her bump. She’s gonna be a mom, a good mom. And, stupidly, you’re jealous.
Even though it’s not there yet, you swear you can see a high chair in your periphery. You could be holding a warm bottle instead of a hot mug of tea. Maria could be feeding her child his first bite of baby food next to you.
“Let me ask you something, and I want you to really think about it, and be honest with me.”
You nod and wait for her question.
“If Joel had said he’d support you no matter what, even if you wanted to keep the child, if he said he’d step up as a father, would you have made the appointment?”
“I don’t know.” Oh, but you do. Maria waits for you to come to a conclusion, for you to spit it out.
“I like the idea of having a kid. I love kids, and I sometimes think about what it would be like being a mom, but I know that I can’t be one. Not right now.”
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If there is one thing Joel can’t be, it’s a father. Not again. He’s too old, too grouchy, too cynical. He’s not the man he used to be. He was never good at it anyway. He couldn’t save his own kid. He’s already a failed father — once, if not, twice.
You’d be a great mother, and that’s the greatest tragedy. He’s failed you already. He’s not good at the kinder things of life. He shouldn’t have indulged in you, in the love you gave him when he cannot give it back. There are a lot of things Joel can’t quite get right — being a lover, a father, a good man.
Every night since the outbreak began, he’s watched Sarah bleed out in his arms. Sometimes he sees Tess, Sam and Henry, Bill, even Tommy which feels like an augury. Ellie is there almost every night, losing consciousness. Only sometimes is she in that hospital bed, often, she’s lying in the show, with blue lips and almost no pulse. Now, you’ve begun to enter his subconscious. You’re always too far out of reach, screaming his name until he’s shot dead, and the last thing he hears is you shriek as you watch him die in front of you.
Another person is another tragedy once they have the misfortune of coming into his life. There cannot be another person, especially not a child.
You should be back by now, he thinks as he splashes water on his face for the umpteenth time, hoping it’ll wash away all the mistakes he’s made.
He can tell it’s Maria by the way her knuckles rap on his front door. He can tell she’s pissed too.
When he opens the door, he sees you in standing behind her, like you’re afraid of him.
“Unless you want to have this discussion on your doorstep, I suggest you let me — us — inside.”
He does, reluctantly.
“Joel Miller, when do you plan on becoming a man?”
“What?”
“You just told her to make an appointment, didn’t even give her a chance to think about it? You managed to run away from your problems while you’re on house arrest. Impressive.”
“I thought that was what we both wanted,” he says, looking past her, to you.
“I guess, maybe,” you shrug.
The one thing he’s grateful for is Maria’s suggestion that you talk privately.
You sit further from him than usual, you refuse to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask what you wanted. I thought I was making the right choice.”
“It’s okay. I don’t even know what I want.”
But the tears suggest otherwise.
“Do you want to keep the baby?”
“Maybe, but I can’t. It’s not a good idea.”
“That’s what I think, but Maria’s right, it’s your choice.”
“But I don’t know how to make that choice.”
“You’ve got a good heart. Follow it.”
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You spend a lot of time thinking, remembering, and trying to convince yourself that there is no part of you that wants to be a mother. But, in your bedside drawer, there is a handful of photos — all from before the outbreak. You see your mom as a child on a swing set, and as a teen blowing out candles on her birthday. Her mom is in that one too, sitting next to her, smiling. You wish more than anything to have pictures of you and your mom.
You think about the little girl who pretended a ratty old stuffed bear was her baby. You can hear your mom telling you that you’re doing a good job, how you’ll be good at this one day. Your bedtime stories were never about fairy princesses, but about your family, the ones you didn’t get to meet.
“I wish I could have that,” you’d say.
“One day, you might be able to — the world is scary right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be like this forever,” she’d insist.
In retrospect, you wonder if she really believed that, if she really believed that teddy bear would one day be a baby that you’d be the one carrying, and she’d be the proud grandmother.
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“I told her I wanted to be a mom like her,” you explain to Joel, and he understands.
You know about Ellie, but not about Sarah. Joel never brings either of them up to you. Until now. It’s a fair trade, he tells himself. Photos for photos, info for info. But it’s more than that.
“Hold on for one minute, I’m gonna go get something, and I’ll be right back.”
It’ll only take him a second to grab the pictures, but he’ll need a moment to compose himself.
“This is Sarah,” he says, pointing to the little girl in the photo. “My daughter.”
You’re silent for a moment, gazing at the photo, at a younger Joel you’ve never met.
You’re the first person not to tell him that you’re sorry for his loss, and he is relieved not to hear the empty sympathies once more.
“What was she like?” you ask.
It’s hard to explain, and for that reason, he talks for at least a half hour about Sarah. All her likes and dislikes, all his favorite moments from the day she was born until the day she died. He tells the story of that too.
When you try to tell him that he sounds like he was a good dad, he has to explain why he wasn’t.
“I couldn’t save her,” he says.
“I couldn’t save her either,” you say, pointing to your mother in one of the photos.
“You were just a child,” he says. “It’s not your fault.”
“And, you were just a man,” you say. “It’s not your fault.”
“A grown man.”
“Doing the best that you could.”
And you’re right. He did try his best. He stops arguing not because he’ll ever concede but because the weight of the present falls upon him all at once as he meets your eyes and remembers why you’re here.
He can’t have Sarah back, he can’t have Ellie back, but you’re right in front of him — and he loves you. It’s too late to turn back and kick you out on your first day, it’s too late to never speak to you, it’s too late to not love you.
It’s not too late to fail you like he’s failed everyone else. It’s not too late to do the opposite either.
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You tell him your decision, and wait for his disagreement, for him to dissuade you. But, he doesn’t.
“Okay,” he says.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try my best.”
You cancel the appointment and make the final decision, but it doesn’t feel real until Joel finishes building the crib in the spare bedroom. The most unexpected part is how excited you feel even when you’re nauseous, even when your feet are bloated, even when your back is killing you.
You’re also terrified, particularly when you hear Maria’s account of her labor and delivery. For someone describing how painful it was, she seems oddly unfazed, happy even. She’s too focused on her baby boy, and you get it — he is pretty cute.
When the day comes, you find that you’ve underestimated the pain entirely. The wounds you’ve gotten in combat are nothing compared to this. Every hour that goes by feels like a full day for you. Every time the doctor checks your dilation it’s still not yet time.
Until it is. And everything becomes a million times more chaotic. You swear the only thing keeping you sane is Joel’s hand in yours. (You have to apologize later for squeezing it so tightly.)
Finally, the telltale cry comes, and it feels like you’ve run a marathon by how exhausted you are and by how proud you are of yourself for doing it. This will go down as the greatest feat of your life and you are more than satisfied with that fact.
The doctor announces that it’s a boy and though he said he’d be fine with either gender, Joel’s smile is wider than you’ve ever seen it. You’re smiling almost as big. It hurts your cheek muscles but you can’t stop, especially when they hand you your baby boy. Though he doesn’t know how to speak, his hand wrapped around your finger tells you that it’s going to be okay.
There is so much pain in this world, but not in this room.
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smutoperator · 8 months ago
Text
Call Me Jen
Huh Yunjin x Male Reader
Tags: A2M, anal creampie, anal whore, big dick worship, butt plug, cheating, dirty talk, escort, finger-fucking, fisting, gape, hotel room, pornstar experience, riding, squirting, sugar daddy, uncut cock
Word Count: 4992
Yunjin wasn't feeling well today. Her boyfriend had cheated on her. All that while she was in the middle of the latest Le Sserafim comeback performances. She needed someone to help her with her frustrations.
You, on the other hand, were just chilling until you received a text message.
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"Can we have sex tonight?" Yunjin asked. "Aren't you dating?" you replied back. "Well, yeah, but my boyfriend is a cheating asshole," she replied. "You know what? The best way to forget a cheating asshole is to get fucked in the asshole," you replied. "Then, let's find a quiet place so you can fuck me in the asshole," she said.
You gave Yunjin the address of your favorite 5-star hotel. "Arrive by yourself; tell the front desk you'll be my companion. And don't forget to bring a fake ID not to raise suspicions from those media vultures," you told her. "I'll be there later at night," you said. 
"I need better assurances than just words after that asshole broke my heart," Yunjin said. "I'll give you the best assurance, money; if you want to have sex with me so bad, I'm gonna reward you like the high-end hooker that you are," you tell her as you give her a proof of deposit in her bank account. "Sure," she said.
Yunjin arrives at the empty room, playing with herself in a one-piece dress. She is feeling a little tired due to the recent comeback performances, but the spatious bed is perfect for her to get some rest and touch herself with no one bothering her. She plays with her tits, fingers her pussy, and last but not least, gapes her ass, preparing herself for a special night.
It's nearly 11 PM, and you have yet to arrive. Yunjin still waits. Either way, she's already got the money. She messages you showing her outfit for tonight, a pink lingerie with a shiny butt plug decorated with pink sapphires shoved in her asshole just to the side of her thong strip. "I'll be there in a couple minutes," you say.
You arrive at the room, finding Yunjin already in a primed position, her body bent over into her bed as you see her exposed fat ass before you even get to see her face. "Nice plug you got in there," you tell her.
"What is inside of it is even nicer," Yunjin says, teasing you the gape move she did during that Unforgiven choreography, placing her long nails right in her buttcheeks. Rumor has it she's got the best gape in the whole industry, so you wanted to test it. She keeps teasing you, finally showing her face as she bites her fingers, before bouncing her ass up in the air a few times, the feeling in the air akin to one of those raw porn scenes filmed in a very dark room.
Yunjin puts her ass further up as she puts her face in the bed, teasing you about her pussy, which you assume is as pink as the fabric she's wearing to cover it. She quickly answers that question to you, pulling her panties to the side and showing off her pussy.
"Ready for a pornstar experience, baby?" Yunjin asks. Using just her middle and index fingers, she puts them between the butt plug's notch, teasing you as she pushes it in and out of her asshole until she takes it completely off, only to push it back in again shortly after. She closes her eyes and winks her still small gape at you, giving you a smile when you come close to her face and then proceeding to lick the plug.
"My asshole is hella tasty," Yunjin says to you. "It'll be even tastier with my cock inside it," you say to her. "I can only hope," she replies.
Yunjin keeps teasing you, licking her plug. She turns around and takes her panties off, pleasing herself as her long nails hit her clit. Yunjin tastes herself, showing off her perfect dick-sucking lips.
"Let me see that pussy," you say, taking your clothes off, kissing Yunjin, and replacing her hands into her cunt. The good massage you give it makes Yunjin's pussy throb and pulsate, anticipating your cock in there.
"Ohhhhh, fuckkkkk," Yunjin softly whispers as you insert a pair of fingers in her cunt. "You wanna fill every inch of my pussy and my asshole?" she asks. You let your fingers answer the question for yourself, pushing them deeper in Yunjin's pussy. "Oh yes, baby, FUCKKKKKKKk," she moans, her legs trembling as she adds an extra pressure fingering her clit while you finger-fuck her cunt.
"Wanna be my little prostitute tonight? Ride that cock like a pornstar?" you ask her. "YES, BABY, I WANNA BE YOUR LITTLE WHORE, YOUR LITTLE FUCKING PROSTITUTE; I LOVE BEING A WHORE," Yunjin screams. "I love having my holes used like fleshlight and pounded like a pornstar," she continues.
"How hard are you gonna use my asshole, baby?" Yunjin asks. "You'll know that soon, baby," you say to her. "But first, I need you to take all these clothes off and let me worship that pussy," you tell her.
Yunjin obliges as she pulls her bra to the side and shows you her perky tits. "Oh my God, yes, eat my pussy; get it ready for your cock; that's what I want, fuckkkkk," she says as you dive her face into her pink hole.
"Get it nice and wet; make my pussy feel good," Yunjin whispers as you work your tongue and finger simultaneously inside her pussy, getting your fingers wet. "You have that asshole stretched out already; put your fingers in there," Yunjin says, showing you her insatiable anal kink.
You put both your index and middle fingers on Yunjin's anus. "Oh my God," you say as Yunjin's butthole surprises you, acting as if it is like a cosmic black hole that sucks everything in its vicinity. If it was behaving like that just with your fingers, can you imagine when you put your cock in there? "Look how gaped it is already, holy shit," you say to her.
You give Yunjin's butthole a trial run as you pump your fingers in and out of it. Your cock is probably twice as large, and those fingers are already doing some nice damage. "Ohhhhhh, fuckkkkkk," Yunjin enjoys it.
"I can't wait to feel that cock in my asshole," Yunjin says as you keep poking it with your fingers. She gives you a massive smile as you toy with her butthole, making her let out a big scream. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" as she starts squirting just with the anal stimulation you provide her.
"Taste it, taste it, taste it," Yunjin begs as you sniff her pussy. You then lie on the bed, your already massive erection pointing up and waiting for her to suck it. "I can't wait to use this cock," Yunjin says. "I wanna do whatever I want with this big fucking cock," she continues as she licks your shaft and you seize the opportunity to spank her sexy ass.
Yunjin gets on top of you as you two start performing a 69. You love how long her legs are and how they wrap around your face. She coats your shaft with her saliva and massages your balls before taking that microphone deep in her throat. "I'm gonna get it very wet," she says.
You can't resist and start thrusting upwards against Yunjin's slutty face. But she clearly wins this round. "Fuck," you scream, unable to beat her magic throat as she just dives it deeper into your shaft, jering it off in triumph. "YESSSSS!" she yells. More saliva covers your cock as you find out Yunjin is truly a nasty spitter.
"That uncut cock is going to feel so good deep in my asshole," Yunjin says as she sucks it further and slaps it in her face, her tongue sticking out in glee. You try to push her head further down your shaft, but once again she takes it like a champion.
"Let me look at that pretty face sucking my big fat cock," you tell Yunjin, turning around in the bed, letting her kneel in front of your body to suck your cock. With you watching, she turns up a notch, bobbing her head even faster trying to prove herself for her sole audience.
"You're so hot working on that dick, don't fucking stop," you tell Yunjin, trying to fuck her face once again only to see her come out on top once more. You get up and start sucking her tits while she masturbates herself. "Enough, just get on top of that cock," you say to her.
"Right there," Yunjin says as your cock enters her pussy. "Oh my God, your cock is so fucking thick, it's twice the size of my asshole boyfriend," Yunjin says. "Such a giant fucking cock stretching my pussy open, that's what I want," she continues.
You wrap your arms around Yunjin's body and thrust upwards against her cunt, determined to destroy it. "YES, POUND THAT PUSSY, I WANT EVERY FUCKING INCH OF THAT COCK," she yells, leaning down as your bodies get closer and she gets her cunt stretched out.
"Take that cock, you fucking whore," you say to her. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Yunjin screams, but quickly regains control and starts twerking on that big dick. "SPANK MY ASS WHILE I RIDE THAT COCK," she demands, getting really loud as you hit her pale cheeks with your heavy hands.
"Fuck every fucking inch of my fucking pussy, yes, yes, yes," Yunjin drops tons of f-bombs as she bounces on your cock. "Go slow, you fucking slut, don't make me fucking cum yet," you have to ask her as Yunjin is very energetic riding your cock.
Yunjin slows down, switching to straighter and longer bounces. "That's right, you dirty fucking whore," you say to her. She then starts grinding. "You're so deep inside me, just stuff that whole dick in my pussy," she begs. "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM, FUCKKKKKK," she screams as her pussy juices drip down, her walls clenching harder when you tap her ass shortly after.
As Yunjin tastes herself from your cock, she's already thinking about her next move. "Fuck, I wanna feel this thick cock in my ass," she says. "Then come feel it," you say, getting her body sideways as you prepare to insert that huge prick in her anus at a spooning position.
"Show me that pink asshole," you tell her. "I need your cock in it, please," Yunjin begs. "Right there, right there," she repeats as you slide it in her butthole. "Tell me you want it," you say to her. "Yes, I want this fucking cock, please," she answers.
You thrust fast into Yunjin's asshole in spooning position as she puts her finger in her pussy. "Ohhhh yeahhhhh," she moans as she gives you a big smile. "Make me your little anal whore, yessss," she says as you keep pumping it. "Take it as deep as you can get it; I want every inch of it in my ass, every fucking inch," she begs.
"Stuff that thick cock right in my asshole," Yunjin demands as you stop thrusting and grab her tits while digging deeper and deeper into her anus. "Oh my God, make me take it, fuck," she says as you resume pounding it, trying to push all your nine inches inside it. "I want you to use me like the total whore I am," she says. 
"USE ME, DADDY, FUCK MY ASSHOLE," Yunjin screams as you increase the heat up her butt. "FUCK MY ASSHOLE, DADDY," she keeps screaming. "Shut your fucking mouth, you prostitute," you tell her, putting your hands over it.
But the last thing Yunjin wants is to stay quiet. "STRETCH THAT ASS, GAPE ME," she screams as soon as you start choking her and hammering her even harder. "This fucking ass is made to be fucked," she tells you.
You slow down and appreciate Yunjin's tight butthole. "You're so fucking good in my ass," she says, kissing you and switching up into more of a girlfriend experience. But quickly she goes back to being her usual whore self. "I don't want you to stop; I want you balls fucking deep in my ass," she says shortly after.
"Give me the whole thing, AHHHHH," Yunjin says before she puts her hands in her mouth and covers it. You manhandle her butthole hard while simultaneously finger-fucking her cunt and making juices rain out of her pussy.
"Stay there," Yunjin says, keeping your cock in her ass. She gets up and climbs on top of your body, sitting on your cock in reverse cowgirl and giving you a perfect view of her sexy ass. "Right there in my ass, daddy," she says, letting you grab her legs and thrust upwards into her butt.
"I love to feel every inch of it in my ass," Yunjin says as she starts riding your big dick. "I want to bounce up and down that cock with my ass until I die," she says. "My asshole is made for that big cock," she continues to talk while bouncing.
"FUCK IT, FUCK IT HARD, DADDY," Yunjin commands as you pound her hard up her butt. "POUND MY FUCKING ASSHOLE," she keeps saying as you now reach your hands to finger her pussy and make her eyes roll with so much pleasure. "FUCK ME AS HARD YOU CAN," she screams, challenging you to destroy her to the fullest.
"Don't make me cum yet, your fucking prostitute," you say, shoving Yunjin's body off of your cock as you nearly fill her ass already. You have been with her for just 15 minutes, but you paid for 30 and want to survive up to it. Yunjin slaps your cock in her face, very satisfied. "Looks like I'm a great fucking prostitute, aren't I, daddy?" she asks.
"My asshole tastes so fucking good in this cock," Yunjin says as she starts savoring your meat. "Stroke with that pretty mouth; you're so good sucking dick," you tell her as Yunjin takes your cock deeper in her throat. "How many fucking cocks have you used like that?" you ask her. "Not enough," Yunjin answers.
"So you like to cheat on your boyfriend before he even cheated on you? What a whore," you say to her face. "Yes, daddy, I can't help myself; I'm a true addict to cock in my ass," Yunjin replies to you.
"Don't worry, I'll give more of it, but first I need to stroke that dick in your naughty tongue," you tell her, jerking off as she licks the tip of your uncut cock every time it emerges out of your foreskin.
"Look what a fucking whore you are," you say to Yunjin. "Now, show me that asshole," you ask her. Yunjin turns around and spreads her cheeks for you to shove your cock back in it. "That pink butthole is so pretty," you tell her right before spitting on it and shutting it down with your massive cock.
"Damn, you're so tight, you fucking bitch," you tell her as you go back into manically thrusting up and down her ass. "Yes, daddy, I want to be one of your favorite fuckholes," you tell her. "It's gonna be a tough competition; I fucked a few of your groupmates, and I can tell they are quite big anal whores too," you tell her, bragging about your perfect nights with the other Le Sserafim girls.
You mount on top of Yunjin to properly use her. "Tell me how you want it," you say to her. "I WANT IT BALLS FUCKING DEEP," Yunjin screams as you stretch her butt out. "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, THAT BIG THICK COCK BALLS DEEP IN MY ASSHOLE, YESSSSS. BURY IT IN ME, DADDY, BURY THAT FUCKING DICK IN MY ASS, YOU'RE MAKING ME DROOL" she continues to yell as she fingers her pussy and starts coating the bedsheets with her squirt.
"HARDER, DADDY, PLEASE." Yunjin keeps begging, as the only thing preventing you from stuffing your balls up her butthole is the tightness of it. You give her no breaks and pound her hard, fast, and balls deep just as she asks.
"Show me that hole," you tell Yunjin as you pull out of her ass. She spreads her cheeks, showcasing the massive gape you left in her pink anus. "Open it for me," you order as Yunjin spreads her butthole out and shows off her pounded guts to you. "I love when you do it; let me put my fucking tongue in it," you tell her, licking her asshole.
"Oh fuck, daddy, your tongue feels so good in my asshole," Yunjin says to you as you also start to sniff her dirty butthole. You effortlessly put your cock back in it, as her asshole is already so stretched out it offers little resist to your shaft, pounding her now at a straight angle.
"Put that dick where it belongs," Yunjin says as you resume pounding her. Queefing sounds start to come out of her asshole as you put her on the verge of achieving an anal orgasm. You pound her ass, but her pussy lips are now also parting in half, letting all the fluids flow out of Yunjin's body as she gets anally destroyed.
Yunjin cums all over the besheets as you enjoy the pink gape in her anus right after pulling out. "Fuck, that's too pretty," you say it again. "You like this pretty asshole, daddy?" she asks. "Yes, it's so beautiful and swallows up my cock with such ease," you reply.
Yunjin is so horny she starts fisting her entire hand up her butthole. "Oh, fuck," she moans as each of her long fingers disappears one by one inside her anus. "Oh my god, you really want to stretch that ass to the fullest for me," you say as you watch Yunjin put her arm all the way up to her wrist inside her asshole, even fitting the pair of bracelets she's wearing all the way down it.
"That fucking asshole is made to take cocks," Yunjin flaunts about it as she keeps fisting herself and teasing you. Watching Yunjin squirt as she puts her arm up, her anus is so beautiful. "Don't stop, keep going," you motivate her. "I love that," you say just as Yunjin finishes it and leaves her hand up her mouth to enjoy more of the taste of her asshole.
Yunjin keeps teasing her anus for you, fisting it, winking it, and gaping it multiple times. "It's so fucking made for anal," she says while doing it, building up your desire to get back inside it. "All I want now is to be your anal whore, daddy," she adds.
You fulfill Yunjin's wish and, with no warning, shove your cock back in her asshole. "OH MY GOD, FUCKKKKK," she soon screams. "I'M SO ADDICTED TO YOUR COCK, IT'S LIKE A FUCKING DRUG," she keeps going as you treat her butthole like a jerkoff fleshlight.
"I love how you make me your personal fuckhole, daddy," Yunjin says as you increase the pace even further. "I'M YOUR FUCKHOLE, I'M YOUR FUCKHOLE, YES, YES, YES," she screams nonstop.
"Wanna sit on that dick?" you ask Yunjin after you're finished drilling her. "Of course," she says. "Then turn around and show me that ass; I want to see it getting impaled by my big fat cock," you tell her.
"Perfect," you say as Yunjin slides your cock up her butthole and starts twerking on it. You slap her cheeks, which she interprets as a code to go harder. "Fuck, I love this so much," you say as she starts spreading them out while bouncing on it.
"You want to cum in that tight little fucking asshole, don't you, daddy?" Yunjin asks as she picks up the pace. "Definitely," you tell her. "Look how I take this whole fucking thing in my ass; isn't it good, daddy?" She keeps asking, but you can only groan, trying to hold your composure not to cum as her butthole clenches all over that dick.
"You've got such a perfect asshole," you compliment Yunjin while giving her butt a couple extra slaps as she stays bouncing on your cock. "And you've got such a perfect way to fuck it, daddy," she responds. "Fuck my ass hard while I play with my pussy; make me squirt all over these bedsheets," she continues.
You thrust up Yunjin's butt once again, making her cheeks clap. "Come taste more of that asshole, baby," you say once you're finished. Yunjin slowly pulls your cock out, only to surprise you with an insane deepthroat that drives you crazy, then playing with your shaft and sucking it like a lollipop, spitting all over it like a good whore playing with her personal toy. 
"I love to stuff that cock down my pretty mouth the way you stuffed it up my ass," Yunjin says as she gets very sloppy with your prick, bobbing her head on it while grabbing your balls and making it throb. 
Yunjin uses the spit on your dick to lube it and sits on it shortly after, this time with her face turned to you. But better yet, her squirting cunt facing you and giving you easy access to finger it, hoping for a gush so intense that it hits your face.
You quickly show Yunjin who's in control and fuck her hard even with her tall body on top of yours. Her pussy slowly starts to get wetter, her tits bounce, and her eyes roll. "Yessssssss," she moans hard. "Your asshole is so good, still so fucking tight after all that gaping," you tell her. 
"OH, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM," Yunjin screams as she puts her hands in her cunt and starts fingering it. "FUCK, I'M CUMMING WITH THAT BIG COCK IN MY ASS, AHHHH," she says shortly after, rewarding you with a huge gush of her juice right as your face, just like you wanted it. "God, I love how you make me cum by fucking my asshole," Yunjin praises you shortly after.
Yunjin takes a little break to recover, riding your cock at a very slow pace. "Look at those slow and deep strokes all the way down my asshole; aren't they sexy, daddy?" she asks.
"They make you look like a prostitute, an anal whore," you tell her. "Hmmm, I love looking like an anal whore, daddy," Yunjin says, grinding on your cock just as you grab her neck and choke her. "Don't stop it; keep grinding, you fucking slut," you demand as you reach into her tits and pinch her nipples. Yunjin moans full of pleasure and then shares a few kisses with you. "Good girl, I'm gonna reward you for that," you say to her.
You put Yunjin in a missionary position in bed and push her long legs over her head, inserting your cock back in her ass for another round, pounding her balls deep on an anal mating press while she fingers herself. "Ohhhhh, fuckkkk," a submissive Yunjin moans. "You fuck my little asshole so fucking perfectly, daddy," she says.
"You're such a nasty, worthless whore," you degrade Yunjin while spanking and fucking her butt. "YES, I AM YOU ANAL WHORE, DADDY. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE," Yunjin answers screaming.
"Then spread that hole for me to see it again; I bet your boyfriend can't gape it the way I do," you tell Yunjin. "Yes, daddy, only you gape me like that," she replies, winking her butthole and telling you she wants more.
You destroy Yunjin's ass much to her enjoyment. She loves it, playing with her gaping butthole again and stretching it wide. "Tell me how much you love your big fucking cock taking this beautiful pink asshole, daddy," she says. You tell her by flipping Yunjin around and appreciating her asshole with more tonguing and sniffing, just how she likes it, and making her cum once again all over the bedsheets.
"Taste my asshole after you fucked it; admire the work your big cock did on it," Yunjin says to you. "Damn, you got the most perfect butthole I've seen," you tell her. "You say that to every whore you fuck in the ass, don't you, daddy?" Yunjin giggles and pokes fun of you.
"Spread that hole; I ain't done fucking that ass," you tell her, pushing your cock back inside Yunjin at a prone bone position and pushing her body hard against the already very wet bedsheets. "Look at this hole; it's so fucking hot," you say as you plow Yunjin into oblivion, enjoying her sexy moans. You love stretching her out so much that you insert your fingers alongside your cock in her ass. "Hmmm, I love it, daddy, always wanted to have two in my ass at the same time," Yunjin says.
"How much can you take, you fucking whore?" you ask Yunjin as you shove your middle finger deeper in her anus. "As much as you want to, daddy, spread me open and fuck me harder; spread that slutty hole open; hit me right in that fucking asshole," she begs. You do just that, leaving your mark all over Yunjin's ass.
"Damn, it's so fucking perfect," you're all praising about Yunjin's butthole. You put her ass up and grab what is still left of Yunjin's lingerie to control her while you pound her ass, treating her like a toy.
"FUCK IT, DADDY, SHOW ME HOW THAT ASS IS BUILT TO TAKE BIG COCKS," Yunjin begs as you destroy her. That's who she is, a prostitute, an anal whore; the only difference between her and a pornstar is that she whores herself while the cameras are off, but fucking her is indeed a top-notch pornstar experience similar to some of the best anal queens.
"In and out, daddy, toy with my fucking butthole," Yunjin demands as you tease her with your cock going back and forth in and out of her anus. "Now gape me open, gape my fucking asshole," she begs once you thrust hard back in, using her to the fullest.
"Holy fuck," you get shocked at the size of the gap you imprinted on Yunjin as she spreads her cheeks open. You might be able to fit a tennis ball in there considering how wide it is.
But you aren't done, turning Yunjin around for another round as you want to gape her butthole even further. She fingers herself and asks to be split open and fucked hard. You do just as she asks, ramming her ass with all your intensity. "That's still not enough, you fucking whore?" you ask her, now choking Yunjin with both hands.
"NO DADDY, IT'S NOT ENOUGH, I WANT YOU TO POUND ME UNTIL YOU FUCKING FILL MY ASS WITH YOUR THICK CUM," Yunjin screams as she starts squirting once again with her fingers all over her cunt. "I'm gonna do that, but first I'm going to play a little more with you, whore," you say.
You stick your fingers up Yunjin's squirting cunt before moving them to fist her asshole. "Is that what you want, whore? A fucking gaped and fisted butthole?" you ask her. "YES, DADDY, THAT'S WHAT I WANT, EVEN BETTER IF IT'S FULL OF YOUR CUM," she says. 
"Cum in my asshole, cum in my fucking asshole; that's what I want; please, use this fucking asshole to cum," Yunjin says. "You wanna see this fucking asshole stretched wide open for you?" she asks, doing the fisting now.
"Put it right back in, daddy, show how much you want to use this fucking gaping asshole to cum," Yunjin moans. You jerk your cock off, teasing her. "Stoke that fucking cock and cum in my asshole; make it your little personal cumhole," Yunjin begs and moans as you slide it right back in it for one last round.
Just a couple thrusts are enough for you to fill Yunjin's butthole with your load. She loves it and fists her ass in search of that cum, scooping it with her hands and tasting it. "My asshole is so delicious," she tells you as your cum can't stop leaking from her anus. "Maybe I need to push it deeper," you say, inserting your cock for a little extra fucking. "Yes, daddy, fuck that cum all the way deep into my ass," Yunjin celebrates.
Epilogue
Yunjin puts her butt plug back in as she treasures your cum in her hole. "Fuck, I'm just so full of cum now," she says. "You're now my anal cumwhore, my sugar baby, Yunjin," you tell her. "Yes, daddy, that's what I am; by the way, you can call me Jen," she says.
"Hmmm, Jen and Michelle, that's a nice pair of sugar babies," you tell her.
"Michelle?" A confused Yunjin asks just as someone opens the door of the hotel room.
"Speaking of the devil," you say.
"Looks like you two had a lot of fun in there," Chaewon says. "Indeed we had; wanna go next, Michelle?" you ask her.
"We could do this together, couldn't we?" Chaewon asks. "Her ass is probably too sore for that, but she can use her mouth to help me fuck your ass," you tell Chaewon.
"Deal," the bob girl answers as she takes her clothes off, spreads her ass and you put your cock in there. The night has just gotten even more perfect.
"Let's see if you can be a bigger anal whore than me, Michelle," Yunjin challenges Chaewon as you dig deeper into the older girl's asshole.
"You know what? Let's call Kkura and Zuha too and settle this for good," Chaewon replies.
It looks like we're gonna have an anal whore competition here.
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miyukisu · 8 months ago
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I Might Bite .ᐟ
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❤︎ | Resorting to dirty measures like biting your superior during sparring usually doesn't end without you having a taste of your own medicine... (2.6k wc) ╰ feat. Hoshina Soshiro (Kn8) x afab! reader
kinktober entry no. 2 | kinktober masterlist
tags - subordinate! reader, biting, marking, spanking, pussy slaps, humiliation & punishment, Hoshina's kinda mean, fingering, p in v, creampies, swearing
minors do not interact
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The recent uptick of kaiju attacks over the city has every member of the JAKDF on edge. No one knows when the next attack is coming or if they'll live to see their next birthday. The atmosphere in the Tachikawa base specifically felt odd. Most were hopeless, but then there was you.
You weren't the strongest by any means, but you believed that if it came to being persistent—you'd be the best. It showed; after all, you trained your ass off even in your off hours.
There were times you bled and shed a tear, but you never stopped. Your fellow officers often told you to slow down. But there was one person who always watched from the sidelines—silently observing how you improved every night that you would sneak away into the training rooms.
It was none other than your superior, Hoshina Soshiro.
The vice captain didn't seem all too interested to be invested in the lives of the officers. Frankly, he had better things to do. But the rookie that worked themselves to the bone had successfully caught his eye. There was something about them that reminded him of himself. In many ways, he was drawn to that fiery spirit.
Not a lot of recruits had your determination and he was more than willing to foster that. What kind of vice captain would he be if he didn't help you in honing your skills?
────────────
You stared, dumbfounded, at the fox eyed man in front of you.
"Ya heard me right the first time," he insisted.
You gulp down. "Well... I'm certainly not going to refuse your offer, sir. I was just making sure I understood what you said."
"I told ya—I'll help ya train every night. I meant it."
Finding out that your superior knew you have been violating the curfew had you expecting the worst. But Hoshina's reaction was rather unforeseen.
Instead of making you run laps or do cleaning duty—he offered to train with you during your night sessions. It made sense; training with someone better than you would allow you to improve at faster speeds. The choice was a no-brainer.
"Alright... thank you, sir."
Hoshina simply nodded before walking away from you, satisfied that you were cooperative with his ideas.
"Sir!"
He turns around with a small smile. "Yes?"
"When do we start?"
"Have ya skipped a day before?"
"...No, not really."
His smile widens. "Ya have yer answer then."
────────────
Labored breaths filled the training room—though, most of it came from you. Hoshina barely broke a sweat throughout your entire sparring session. It wasn't shocking anymore at this point.
You estimate that it's already about two weeks since he has started joining you in your training. Not once have you won against him.
At first, it felt quite motivating—knowing that you had so much to improve. But as days go by, it becomes depressing how you can never even land a good hit on him.
You weren't fit to face a kaiju with how things stand and it crushed your once blazing spirits.
With your chest heaving and your vision blurring, you continued to anticipate his next move. You figured he'd at least cut you some slack after seeing the massive difference in skill, but he was merciless. You didn't even fight back as he tackled you to the ground.
Hoshina Soshiro wasn't just talented with a blade, but also with his bare hands. Who would have thought he knew grappling as well? He easily put you in a rear naked choke and you felt your airway quickly constrict.
He taught you that if you couldn't even handle basic hand-to-hand combat—then you'd be nothing doing anything else. Besides, before ending your session with the usual bare knuckled fighting, he trained you with swords and other weapons... in which you couldn't beat him in either.
Going up against him was futile. You absorbed his teachings like a sponge, but when it came to applying them—all hope is lost.
You were going to pass out soon; you could feel it.
Despite telling yourself that you'd always fight fair and square—you realized that this wasn't the time to be righteous. Virtues, principles—whatever the fuck it is—chucked out the window.
You bit down on his arm—hard. Did you draw blood? Perhaps. But that hardly mattered to you. He finally let go, failing to defeat you completely. Hoshina hissed, checking out the fresh wound you gave him.
Neither could you move or speak. In fact, you kept your back leaning on his chest. Doing anything other than breathing was a bit too much at the moment.
"Ya play dirty, don'cha?" he whispered darkly into your ear.
The thickness and intimidation laced in his voice was enough to reinvigorate your entire being. You took the deepest breath possible before peeling yourself off of him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"Of course ya didn't mean ta do that, right?" he cuts you off, lifting you off of the ground with his impressive strength.
"What shall I ever do with ya? Li'l thing bitin' her superior."
You could only stutter out a pathetic apology as he carries you in his arms.
"Nah, don'cha apologize now. Ya must be sick of me treatin' ya like a ragdoll hm?"
He was right, of course. But you weren't about to admit that to him.
Hoshina carried you over to the side of the room where the long metal bench was. Even out of fighting, he continued to treat you like a doll with the way you effortlessly flipped you over. Your stomach pressed against his lap with one of his hands resting on your nape.
You weren't sure where his other hand was, but you soon found out... the hard way.
A sharp slap made its way to your ass. It had you sucking in more air than usual.
"Not even a single yelp huh? Think ya can handle more? Ya need to be punished after all."
Another slap and then another on the other cheek. Tears were starting to brim in your eyes. With the next slap, you finally yelped in pain. Hearing your sharp breaths, he caressed your poor behind in a soothing manner.
"Think ya've repented enough?"
God, you didn't want to sound weak, but a few sniffles escaped you. His question racked your brain, yet not a single good answer came for it. It was a trap and he was steadily luring you in.
You figured—silence was the best response. However, that pissed off the vice captain even more. Hoshina let out a long and deep sigh. He didn't want to do this; he swears. But you just had to push his buttons.
"Not speakin' huh? How many times will ya disrespect yer superior after I've been kind enough ta be trainin' ya every night?"
If you've learned one thing about him these past few sessions—it was that he never gave you time to react. Only now, you're discovering that it applies to things apart from fighting as well.
He slid you off his lap without warning. Soon as you flipped yourself over, the vice captain was already hovering over you with a stern expression on his face.
He inched closer, slowly but steadily. His eyes never left yours and it seemed to have you in a trance because you failed to realize how he had already caged you between his thick arms.
"Sir..." you managed to say between shaky breaths.
"So you can speak?"
Your eyes finally stray from his face, feeling flustered by the proximity.
"Ya should use that mouth of yers fer talkin' —not fer bitin' ," he said. He leaned in to the point that you felt the warmth of his breath against your neck. It was tantalizing—almost paralyzing. "I think ya should get a taste of yer own medicine," he added.
No time was given to protest as he sunk his sharp teeth into your neck. You gasp, hands finding purchase on his arms. He suckled on the tender skin, sure to leave a mark that you'd have to cover up in the morning.
Then another bite came. Your fingers dug into his flesh. It was painful, but oddly arousing. The intoxicating scent he radiated coupled with his fine looks were a recipe for disaster. But the only one being ruined was you.
Perhaps he felt satisfied after two bites, settling on wet kisses scattered on your neck instead. He kept getting lower and lower until he was met with a barrier.
"Lemme get this out of the way, a'ight?" he says before gripping the soft fabric of your black tanktop—ripping it apart. He smirked at the sight, a flimsy lacey bra.
He pushed it up before smashing his face down on your chest, sucking and lightly biting at a sensitive bud. Your hands went from his biceps to his hair, almost pulling out the strands from the roots.
He bit, tugged, and marked you all over again—like he was staking claim. Hoshina made sure to give attention to the other one as well, sucking on the swell of your breast while using his fingers to toy with the other.
Truth be told, he was too excited and immersed in devouring you that he only now became aware of your sounds. It was delightful to say the least. It made him smile as he nipped at the sensitive flesh.
You began to arch your back, needing more of him. But he took this as a sign to go even lower, planting more kisses that trailed down your stomach. He was giving you whiplash with the alternating softness and harshness of his touch.
He looked up at you and saw your dazed expression, unable to even look back at him. This was fine; this was the only time he'd permit a subordinate not looking him in the eye.
For once, you were able to catch your breath and make sense of it all. You returned your gaze to the man above you. He was hovering over you again, looking down with a feral glare. His large hand gripped your thigh.
"Ya know... fer someone bein' disciplined... ya sure look like yer enjoyin' this."
"I'm not," you retorted. But both of you knew the truth.
"Ya challengin' me? Let's see then, shall we?"
He made quick work of the zipper on your pants before pulling it down and throwing it off to God knows where. His eyes opened slightly, zeroing on the damp patch on your panties. Of course, he was right.
"Would ya look at that—yer pussy's all soaked from that. How naughty."
"I... I... um..."
He huffed. "Ya what?"
Slap. He had slapped your pussy. The stinging sensation had you arching your back off of the cold metallic surface of the bench. A soft groan fell from your lips.
He landed another slap. "Look at how wet ya are right now. Ya shouldn't have lied huh?"
As if to soothe you again, he began rubbing his thumb over your poor cunt. "Didn't mean ta make her cry."
Hoshina smirked at his own joke—because who else would appreciate it? Definitely not you; you were too fucked out to even catch everything that he's saying.
He hooked a finger in the gusset before pulling your panties out of the way. The sight of your dripping cunt made his dick twitch. He had already been especially frustrated this week and the cute little subordinate he trained every night wasn't helping. Her little stunt was essentially the final nail in the coffin.
There was nothing else he wanted more but to fuck you senseless already. But he was a refined man; he had patience.
Hoshina pushed in two digits at first and it almost made him shudder with how tight and warm you were. Patience be damned; he was crumbling all too quickly for his liking.
"Fuck... yer suckin' it in."
A string of soft moans left you. It was music to his ears and he wanted it to be louder.
He began fucking his fingers into you at a faster pace. The muscles of his arm tensed and the veins on his forearm were popping out. A loud and vulgar moan reverberated through the training room. You could only hope that everyone in the base was asleep because there was no way you could be quiet with what he's doing to you.
You tightened around his fingers before unravelling completely. Your pussy fluttered, cumming on to his fingers shamelessly. It almost felt like a task to him—only getting it out of the way to get to the main event.
Hoshina pulled out his fingers, sucking them clean. He would have loved to get a taste of it on his tongue, but all restraint had been lost. He had to sheath himself in you or else he'd actually lose it.
"Take a deep breath for me, a'ight?" he says while unzipping his pants, only barely pulling out his leaking cock from its confines.
Maybe you should have listened because the sudden intrusion of his cock knocked the air out of your lungs. It filled you up nicely, hitting every spot with just one fluid motion.
He groans, throwing his head back in ecstasy. His fingers were practically white with how hard he gripped the bench supporting the both of you.
"Coulda fought me with this instead. Maybe ya coulda won," he teased. He began slowly fucking into you, perhaps a reprieve after his previous actions.
Your hands held on to his back, softly digging your nails into the chiseled flesh. A satisfied groan poured from his smiling lips.
The string of moans coming from you urged him to go faster. He had enough of being slow and soft. He snapped his hips at a maddening pace almost immediately. Your leg fell of the bench, hanging off and allowing him deeper access into you.
He never faltered for a second—even as he leaned down to leave marks on your neck again. You held him closer to you as if you never wanted him to leave... and he wasn't; at least, not until you've cum all over his cock.
His ragged breaths filled your ear as he continued to rut into you. Hoshina was tough, ruthless, and precise—much like on the battlefield.
A familiar clench squeezed his dick. "Ya close? Ya gonna cum on my cock? C'mon, do it," he goaded.
His thumb began circling your swollen clit. After holding on to the cold bench for a while, his touch felt freezing. The warmth you felt inside contrasted with the cold touch of his thumb. The sensation was almost numbing with how good it felt.
"Wanna cum with me? How romantic of ya," he teased again. "Fuck... I'm cummin' —take it all. This is still part of yer punishment. Got that?"
You responded with a breathless moan. That was all it took before hot ropes of cum filled you. The warmth seemed to push you over the edge as well, milking him for all he's worth. And like he said—it would be romantic. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"Ya learned yer lesson yet?" he asked, but not before capturing your wet lips in a kiss.
Hoshina let a shaky breath out as he pulled away. He knew it would be good, but he wasn't expecting for it to be this good.
"Shit... was only plannin' one round. Guess it wouldn't hurt ta discipline ya more."
He lazily rubbed his still hard cock. "C'mon, get on all fours fer me and I might not make ya run laps in morning's training." He watched intently as you followed, lining up his dick against your entrance. It was going to be a long night.
"Good fuckin' girl."
©miyukisu do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note slightly longer I guess because I like Hoshina more lol
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voitier · 2 months ago
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Before reading Blame Morpheus for your sins...
Disclaimer, infos and index!
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Synopsis:
❛❛ You and jungkook had been attached by the hip since you were little toddlers learning how to live in your own bodies, which led you two to spend most (if not all) of your life together. One weird dream makes your whole view about your best friend change. How will you live with that? ❞
Contains:
[MINI-SERIES!]; friends to lovers, college au, jungkook is whipped for reader but she's oblivious to it all, descriptions of wet dreams, second-hand embarrassment, learning how to deal with new found feelings, sex and all the good stuff, HEA.
Hashtags:
You can find Blame Morpheus for your sins content under the two hashtags down below #© voitier [bmfys] (or © voitier [BMFYS]), #BMFYS!jungkookᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 and #BMFYS!jungkook asksᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
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Index:
01
02
03
04
05
Please check every once in a while for updates! I cannot promise to post every week, but I'll do my best to post as soon as possible!
Miscellaneous:
jungkook's dorm room floor plan
oc's mom photo album
Disclaimer:
English is not my first language, so I hope you'll excuse any mistakes I might make while writing.
Also, I'm used to writing shorter stories whose word count ranges from 500 words up to 1k. Longer chapters aren't exactly my thing, which is exactly why I take longer to write since I want to give you a piece that has at least 2k words.
I'm also aware that my writing needs improvement, both description-wise and from the storytelling point of view. I believe that dialogues are the best part of my stories, but I'm trying to improve overall to give you all a better reading experience.
Constructive criticism is always welcomed as long as you're not rude about it!
And as you probably already understood by the synopsis and table of content, this series will contain mature themes. I'll flag all the chapters containing smut, still I invite you to not read and/or engage with it if you're a minor. Please and thank you 🙏
The characters might piss you off a little, just putting this out there.
Taglist:
If you'd like to be tagged, please comment under this post, under the chapters or in my inbox. please make sure to have your age stated in your bio/pinned post or to state it in the comment (you could also send me a message if you're uncomfortable writing it on here for everyone to see).
@mia7732 @tastykookoonut @koooobi @hoseokteardrop @bhonbhon @rpwprpwprpwprw @jeeykey @junecat18 @annyeongbitch7 @lilacstellar @stutixmaru @blueberriesm @134340-kr @schniti-is-in-the-house @diamondjeon @vsr4197
The members are used for visual purposes only. Nothing in my writing is real or based on real life experience.
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© voitier 2025
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asce-of-hearts · 6 months ago
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Can I request a smut with yandere illumi with a size kink & noncon?
Powerless
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Contents: Yandere!Illumi x gn!reader smut scenario.
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more Illumi content here
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WARNINGS: YANDERE, ARRANGED MARRIAGE IMPLIED, NSFW, DUB/NON-CON, SIZE KINK, BREEDING KINK, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, MINORS DNI, AFAB!BODIED READER OTHERWISE GENDER NEAUTRAL.
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"Who cares about what you want?" His words are as cold as ever, devoid of emotion. You're half naked, barely able to cover yourself with the bed-sheets, he's shirtless, jet black hair falling over his shoulders.
"You should care." You answer meekly, gasping when he effortlessly tugs away the sheets from your body. "We're married. My desires should matter to you." He tilts his head to the side slightly, and you wonder if this is just another case of miscommunication. His voice is always so even, you've had a hard time distinguishing when he's joking to when he's serious because of this. "I-It really isn't funny, Illumi."
"I'm not trying to amuse you, ___." He's always so robotic, you feel your skin crawl.
"I understand. But- Still... I want to sleep now. I don't want to make love." You breathe in deeply, trying to calm down. "We'll have time for that later... when I'm ready."
When you open your eyes after those words, he's naked and on top of you. His eyes fixed on your face, his body caging yours. You try to move, but he has you trapped against the mattress. He's smiling, amused.
"Make love? When you're ready?" He lets out a chuckle, showing emotion for once. "Don't be absurd. Sex is for reproductive purposes, and from what I know about you..." His eyes travel downwards, to your naked stomach. "This is the best time to put my seed inside of you."
"Illumi!" You scream when he tears at your clothes, he shuts you up by pressing his palm against your mouth, shoving your face against the pillows. Your eyes fill with tears, he's able to manhandle you so easily. He's strong, far too strong. He twists you around to his liking, finding an angle where he's able to line the tip of his cock with the entrance of your cunt. He rubs it against your clit, at least helping you get a little slick.
He tries to push past the tight ring of muscle, barely able to get the tip inside.
"Huh?" He says, more to himself than to your teary eyed form. "Seems like you're too tight for penetration."
"I'm telling you!" You cry out, struggling against the hand that keeps you pinned down. You let out a choked scream when he pushes again, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration.
"It doesn't matter, He groans, his free hand squeezing at your hip, that will surely leave a bruise. "I'll make it fit." His hand travels down to your clip, rubbing it in circular motions that seem far too calculated, it doesn't matter how much you try to deny it, you're getting wetter by the second. "Who would've thought you would be so tiny to fit me? It's my fault too I suppose, I should've thought about it." He smiles again, the hand pinning you to the pillow relenting as he runs his fingers through your hair.
You're limp, sniffling as you stare at the wall. He's finally able to slip all the way inside, bottoming out with a satisfied groan.
"You're so warm inside..." He says, slowly pulling out until only the tip is inside, then slamming back inside you with as much strength as he can without harming you. "Maybe I'll end up liking it too much and making love to you for fun, not just for babies."
He grins, he's making fun of you. You can only moan, taking in the brutal way he thrusts inside of you.
"Wouldn't you like that, ___? Making love to me."
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hope you enjoyed this!!
have a great day/night
TAGGING: @pasteldaze @sunnymmoon @rosemary108233 @yukimutsu  @eroscastle @goldenglow149 @Voidthewriting @rania200527 @kitzusune @Blueivyoreo @coolnekochan9961 @Notreallyablogger @lilyalone @ayn-yurbestie @oliviathatgirl @eeelieschariot
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singukieee · 11 months ago
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—my all time favourite bts fics (pt. 1) ᯓᡣ𐭩
consists of my personal favourite bts fics that I've read countless of times. including those from other platforms, such as Wattpad, AO3, and Patreon.
For some works that are cross-posted between tumblr and wp/ao3, I'd only link them to the latters bcs I find it easier to read and navigate the stories on those. but I also tagged all the authors I know are here and linked the rest so you can check their blogs out yourself!
I'll also separate this list into several parts simply because there's too many... So it'd be easier for you guys to navigate!
red means unfinished
blue means finished
🗯️ curator's note
(sorted by alphabetical order)
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A Place Called Home by @agustdakasuga
Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.
Accidental Friends by Erakun06
Meet Bangtan, international superstars, the pride of South Korea, the love and hope in the dark of many lives, the role model and celebrity crush of so many people, and a group of people you often stumble across in your day to day life. You become acquaintances, slowly become friends, and- that's it. You are in a platonic friendship with Bangtan. Let me say it again. clears throat PLATONIC. Or One day, you meet a member of Bangtan, the next day, another, and another, and another, and one day, they become a group of people you often stumble across in your life. They become your acquaintances. Then your friends. Then your source of comfort, just like they are the source of comfort of millions of people in the world. What you didn't expect is that you become the same to them. It's inevitable. You are friends.
🗯️ a theme that I don't find much of, and this one was excecuted quite neatly I'd say
Ace For Hire by tokki-maknae
Who is Ace? Besides being the deadliest hitman on the market in the underground, whose really under the hood? The answers simple, well for you at least, because you are Ace. When you're not busy blurring yourself into the background noises of school, you were making a killing in the underground, both literally and figuratively. For years now Ace has become an infamous name among the other gangs and holds the reputation of being lethal and untouchable. But that all changes after a slip up that causes you to attract the unwanted attention of one persistent seven member gang. A gang that's been dying to know, who is Ace?
🗯️ badassss
At Your Service by @untaemedqueen
In which Yn is looking for an escort to accompany her to her nightmare ex and ex best friend's wedding, only to ended up falling in love with him.
Baby (you complete us) by @purpleyoonn
Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches. Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.
Back Home by AlexLorchan / @alexlwrites
Secretly, he was selfishly hoping that you didn’t age well. Dealing with a small crush was easy enough when he was young and knew next to nothing about girls, when you were just a cute albeit slightly weird girl he had a soft spot for. But he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if his feelings came back with a vengeance while you were living together. God, he would probably lock himself with Jungkook until you went away. OR The one where, after living abroad for years, you move back to Korea and your old high school friend Namjoon offers you his place to stay while you get settled, casually forgetting to mention that: a) he still had a massive crush on you. b) he lived with six other guys.
🗯️ crack fic! my fave category and this one makes me giggle in both funny way and butterfly-in-my-stomach kinda way
Beauty of Love by @imnotlauriane
When you cross eyes with your soulmate, you get flashes of memories that have yet to happen. You can't see the same memory as the other and it can be either good or bad. It's not always terrible, but a thing is for sure. No matter what you do, it will happen. But are things always what they seem to be?
Between The Bloodshed series by @agustdakasuga
🗯️ this series... I just love. plot is super neat, relationship doesn't feel forced, etc etc
❶ Between The Bloodshed
Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that you would have to leave your life behind and build a new one.
❷ Everything Between Us
They left you hanging, they broke your heart. You didn’t get your happily ever after. But now they’re back and they’re searching for you to make things right. Could you look past the betrayal to take them back into your life and back into your heart?
Beyond The Stage by Alysheart
Alexis was going through the days simply. She was a college student in Florida, working towards her degree. When she scored tickets to the BTS concert in Korea, she didn't hesitate. She never expected to be soulmates with the seven idols.
Bound by Blood by PurpleQueenie
In a world where vampires and humans have to co-exist, where the line between tolerance and animosity blurs, how can you ever expect to get your happily ever after when your soulmates hate your very existence?
🗯️ love all the details, the slow burn, gosh just so good
Boyfriend For Hire by @remedyx
Unsatisfied with your life was an understatement. Being under the thumb of your father can have that effect. He wanted someone capable of running the company, but you wanted to pursue your passion. Countless unwanted blind dates and the threat of losing your freedom drives you to seek help from a group of individuals you'd least expected.
Breakthrough by Alphathyx
"My dreams haunt me like past memories that never existed" The Memory Dive, an invention that allows the user to dive into anyone's memories just from the collection of their DNA. Made by Professor Kim Seokjin, he created this device for the worlds secret service to solve mysteries that the ordinary field agents are unable to. With seven agents, ranging from ex military, to a university professor, college student and even a criminal, only these seven are able to use this machine to extract memories of others. They are also the only people that know how to escape it. Discover through their eyes of uncovering the darkest truths of the world, through the minds of victims.
🗯️ this one's super neat plot with complicated and technical world, just so good
Bright Colors and Loud Soulmates by Mostmouse
You resented soulmates, the whole damn concept. It just wasn't your thing, and you couldn't help but feel jealous of those who were born without soulmates, who could see the world as it was intended to be from birth. When you run into your soulmate, you're determined to stay in your own sphere of the world. Focusing on you. But, because nothing is simple in your life, it turns out he's one of seven - better yet, your seven soulmates are the globally famous band BTS. Because why wouldn't they be? OR you learn how to let your soulmates past your carefully crafted walls, and they’re more than happy to show you what a loving and supportive relationship should look like.
🗯️ a funny and cute one! (with extra h0rny characters lol)
BTS Office CEO AU by @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue
You work for seven CEOs who have called you into their office due to a complaint
Can't Wait To See You Again by AlexLorchan / @alexlwrites
The one where Jungkook develops a huge crush on a Youtuber he found after falling into the rabbit hole of his recommended videos. Unbeknownst to him, you were also recommended to his hyungs. Unbeknownst to you, all across the world seven idols were slowly falling in love with you.
🗯️ I just love the concept of the boys being fanboys :3
Choco Bun by @nunchiimagines
When you moved to Korea after finishing college to continue pursuing latte art and baking, the last thing you were expecting was to open up your very own coffee shop under BTS Corp, Korea’s biggest entertainment service company for idols, models, singers, and more. Thanks to your hard work, creativity, and approachable personality you managed to become friendly with some pretty big named individuals as well as up and coming talent. As exciting and fun as it was for you, you slowly began to realize how much your 7 bosses weren’t particularly fond of this, acts of jealousy, pettiness, and aggression poking through in the most unsuspecting of ways. But what could 7 big named dragons want with a little foreign bunny?
Combined Beings by @numinousher
You are bullied on a constant because korea’s beauty standards do not fit girls on the heavier side. the bullying gets worse once a ceo is attracted to you and he mentioned you to the other 6.
🗯️ minus the bullying elements, this story is like a comforting sweet cloud
Comfort by http-lostforever
Hybrids have been introduced into society for a handful of years now, the fighting for their rights is still happening but doesn't look promising. But when one girl finds a hybrid in danger she jumps at the chance to help, yet what she didn't know was how upside down her life was about to become. But a word of advice, not everything is as it seems.
Could We Be Together Someday? series by BTS_Mommy / @babyboy-bangtan
🗯️ mann Idk what to write lol. this is another one that I've re-read thousand times, bcs some of the boys started as fanboys then became clingy friends. also yn's so supportive I just lovee.
❶ By Chance
A misunderstanding gone viral puts you on BTS's radar, which leads to a series of events that finally culminate with you meeting them for the first time.
❷ The Moments in Between
As you become close friends with BTS, you begin to realize that the feelings you have for them are slowly turning into something you're not ready to deal with. Unbeknownst to you, the same is happening to them.
Crave by sweetinsanityy
The boys don't do well with being controlled, but for their group, they'll bite their tongue and put on a smile for management. Yet when you, a new little rookie, stumble upon them, they're like a pack of hungry wolves. Or, the boys are all Doms and they want you to be their perfect little sub.
Cursed Fate by PurpleQueenie
The universe has designed soulmates- someone that completes you. But what happens when you don't have one but seven? And all you want to do is run in the opposite direction when you see them...
🗯️ queenie's stories are just so good, you should check them all out! this one also has such great details and writing.
Deep Down by sleepingbearandbunny
Jae, unlike everyone else, has nothing against the hybrid species. She likes being alone, where she is safe from ridicule and her controlling father. When a group of hybrids save her from some trouble, fate brings them together once more.
🗯️ a harsh and complecated world this one, so they went through a lot together and I love that!
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PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | NAVI
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14dayswithyou · 4 months ago
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How cutiesai made 14 Days With You
I've received quite a few requests in the past asking how I made 14DWY, what resources I used, how I organised my lore, etc. — so I figured I'd make one big post and share it with everyone else as well! It features a buuunch of helpful stuff I wish I'd known when I first made 14DWY, so hopefully this will help others too!
⚠ This is all copied & pasted from a Discord post I made back in early 2024! I'll also be adding to it over time, so feel free to check back every so often! ^^
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What engine do I use?
14DWY uses the Ren'Py engine!
There are two preinstalled games (called "Tutorial" and "The Question") that give you a basic rundown on how to use the program!!
Zeil Learning's video called "Ren'py Tutorial For Beginners" is also a good place to start for those who have no idea where to begin with Ren'Py!
I also really recommend these Ren'Py resources:
Lemma Soft Forums
Ren'Py Discord server
Ren'Py subreddit
Zeil Learnings, ElaineDoesCoding, Visual Novel Design, and Ess Ren'Py Tutorials on YouTube
Searching through the "Ren'Py" tag on itch.io for community-made assets and resources (make sure to give credit if you use someone's asset(s))!
Feniks and Wattson offer some really helpful stuff!!
Not Ren'Py related, but helpful for creating a VN:
Obsidian and Notion for planning and worldbuilding
Visual Studio Code and Atom (comes preinstalled with Ren'Py iirc?) for scripting/coding
Pixabay and Pexels for royalty-free images and stock photos
DOVA-SYNDROME for music
Clip Studio Paint (paid) and Krita (free) for drawing
Toyhou.se to store your littol guys (If you need an invite code, I have over 300 to give away lmao ^^ Send in an ask to @cutiesigh if you'd like one!)
An itch.io account to upload your game for free and share it with others
General tips to keep in mind:
Make games for fun, not for fame. Too often, I see new developers create VNs with "trending tropes" because they see how successful it is and want the same level of popularity. As harsh as it sounds, this only makes your game feel hollow and superficial, and players will notice.
When using Ren'Py, it's better to have multiple .rpy files rather than putting everything into one large file!! It makes organising and finding things easier, and if something gets corrupted... at least you won't lose everything!
Plan everything beforehand, but give yourself room to expand and implement new ideas.
Start small and slowly expand over time. Don't start off with an overly ambitious project, as it can be disheartening when you put all this effort into something just for it not to gain any traction. Also, be grateful for your earliest supporters, as they're the ones who will lift your project off the ground!!
This is a personal preference, but I recommend starting off with itch.io as your main distribution platform. Most storefronts take a cut from your donations and revenue, and sites like Steam require a $100 fee just to publish your game on their platform. Itch is free, and you can even toggle off revenue sharing in your profile settings! (I like to keep it at 10% though, because I'm grateful for everything the site provides ♡)
If you ever need help with Ren'Py, you're always welcome to join the 14DWY Discord server and ping me in the help channel!
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bonny-kookoo · 5 months ago
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Hey Bonny!! I saw you wanted to play a game, so how does this sound for a drabble? Dragon! Yoongi (or Kookie since I know he's your guy) x Fairy! Reader?? Idk if you've written fairies before, but I know you've done dragons! 💜🤍
I have a dragon kook x fairy reader on my patreon as early access, so I'll make this one yoongi!
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Yoongi
Hidden in the woods
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Dragons are rather social creatures- but when a young Dragonblood named Yoongi fails to find a partner while all his friends and family have moved way past those events already, he isolates himself, believing he might just be destined to be a loner. But maybe, he was just impatient.
Tags/Warnings: Dragon hybrid!Yoongi, Fairy!Reader, strangers to ???, reader is described as short oops, SFW
Wordcount: 1.6k (it was supposed to be a Drabble... oops)
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“You rarely visit these days.”
His mothers words still echo in his mind as he tries to find a new composition on his piano that doesn’t sound like everything he’s already put out. Of course he hasn’t visited- with his brother’s twins constantly around, he’s always reminded of how far ahead everyone around him is, while he’s yet to find his first real love. He’s thirty, for god’s sake- and yet all he has is his house, a stable career as a musician, and a lot on his mind.
All his friends are married. Some have kids, others are busy preparing for the day they’ll have them. He feels out of place.
Yoongi has made peace with the fact that he’ll be the uncle to all of them, the one guy who never really seems to be happy about anything, never has a family of his own. It’s alright.
He sighs, loudly, gripping his hair for a second in frustration. This is stupid- why is he having an artist’s block right now of all times? People are waiting for something new, especially after he’s already taken a break to help his creativity. And yet, it did nothing- except for giving him a little bit more room to breathe and most of all move out of his apartment and into his new house near the woods. It’s nice here- about half an hour away from the bustling neon city he’s used to after years of living there, and also a bit more distance from his family and friends. A newfound excuse for when they ask him once more where he’s been.
The doorbell rings, attracting his attention. He’s not awaiting any guests or packages- who could it be?
Via the camera installed he can see that there’s a person he doesn’t know at the door- you're rather short, but visibly curious, looking around for any signs of life inside his home, and for a short moment, he sees them;
Delicate little slightly translucent wings. Pointy ears, tilted a bit downwards.
A fairy.
As he opens the door, you seem startled for a second or two, taking a step back, before you speak. “Oh, hello!” You greet him. “I was just about to ask- do you have uh.. Jungkook’s number?” You wonder, and he becomes hostile, crossing his arms. “A coworker of mine, Jimin, said you have it. I’m sorry I’m just, you know, showing up here like that-”
The door closes. But despite what he was expecting, you just ring the doorbell again- and again, until he opens.
“Okay, as I was trying to explain before you so rudely interrupted me-” You tease a little, arms now crossed as well as your wings flap around a bit. “-tell him at least that I need his help fixing my washing machine. He broke it and left the crime scene for me to find, and that’s, pardon my language-” You lean in a bit as if you’re about to tell Yoongi something secret, “-pretty crappy behavior.”
Yoongi stares you down for a moment, before he speaks.
“That’s it?” He asks, and you nod. “Why don’t you ask Jimin for Jungkook’s number?” He wonders, not entirely convinced. Jungkook is pretty much a magnet for people no matter what gender, and the worst part about it is that many if not most always try and get to him through Yoongi.
No one’s ever interested in him. Only his friends, or the things he can provide.
“Cause Jimin doesn’t have it either!” You whine, stomping your leg on the ground in agony. “Listen, I don’t know how to fix it and my bathroom smells like a laundromat already, my coffee machine is also broken and my script has been rejected for the third time, I really need some good news. Please?” You ask, and Yoongi contemplates.
“What if I fix it?” He asks, and your eyes begin to sparkle, wings lifting to flutter in excitement. It’s like in this very moment, he can hear the keys of his piano chime, creating a new piece in his mind.
“You can?!” You ask, stepping closer.
“Probably. Where do you even live?” He asks, before you point towards the woods.
“I live in the woods, pretty much. It’s not that far.” You say, and Yoongi sighs, looking back inside his house. It’s not like he’s going to get anything done either way, so who cares? It might take his mind off of things for a moment or two-
So a few hours later, he’s in your house, enjoying some hot coffee from your machine, which he’d fixed as well while he was at it. Well, fixed is a strong word- he pretty much just explained how it properly worked to you. It was working just fine- you just lost the manual and couldn’t figure it out on your own.
“I always thought dragons were scarier.” You say suddenly, opening a pack of cookies to put in the middle of your wooden coffee table. “You’re really nice. Tall, and a bit gloomy looking, but very nice.” You say, sitting down on the couch next to him, legs pulled up towards you.
He’s noticed something glittering all over the small house- like sparkling glitter, but much finer, and barely noticeable. Looking closer to his pants, he notices it there as well- and even after a brush with his hand, it sticks to his fingers now.
“Oh- I’m sorry! It keeps getting everywhere, especially now.. Wait- I have like, a plastic thing-” You hurry, getting up to search for something in a drawer close by your TV. “Ah, there!” You say, giving him the lint-roller. “It’s one designed for fairy dust. I’m sorry, I should’ve thought about that..” You say, but for some odd reason, he declines.
“It’s fine.” He denies. “Doesn’t bother me.” he tells you, and again, you look at him like he’s just told you the earth is flat after all.
but it truly doesn’t bother him. It would, technically, if he was anywhere else. But right now, in this moment, he couldn’t be any more indifferent towards the ‘mess’ you leave sticking to his clothes and skin.
As soon as he’s back home, the sight of your sparkling smile is still in his mind, as his feet almost automatically move towards his piano, where he sits down, and presses a record button to play something new. The melody has been stuck on repeat in his head the entire way back home through the thick snow, like his imagination was finally finding color again.
But it’s different from what he usually creates.
This piece is playful almost, intriguing. It’s a little hesitant, like someone holding back a thought itself just to not indulge too much in a fantasy they’re already creating in their mind. Fluttering notes interrupt these parts however, sneaking in with excitement and curiosity, trying their best to convince the player to let themselves go.
And Yoongi does, as he finishes the piece, and leans back in his chair, recording finished before his phone chimes with a message.
“You left your scarf at my place!” Is what you tell him.
“I’ll get it tomorrow.” He texts you back.
“I could make us dinner?” You question.
He contemplates, finger hovering over the virtual keyboard of his phone, before he begins to write his answer. Fluttering touches of his fingers moving with a hint of excitement, fine fairy dust on the skin of his hands shimmering in the setting sun dipping everything in a golden glow.
“I’d love that.”
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