#I'll practice and I'll get the hang on it
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đđđđ & đđđđđđ @multipleoccupancy
"That's a good idea," she said, recognizing in his suggestion the experience of a father who knew how to break up fights between siblings, "I'll do that. The bears should be a very efficient argument." Killian did worry about her, and he certainly seemed to worry about the bears, too. Samantha didn't, she was used to it. But Killian was clearly a city boy -his accent unfortunately betraying that he was from New York, where the only wildlife was rats and pigeons.
She nodded. "We should be able to find her a room. And since she's posing as your daughter, you might be able to ask for a favor. Or..." She raised her eyebrows playfully. "We can just steal a key if it's faster."
"Yes, let's let her pick the codename. The more involved she feels, the more she'll listen to us... I hope." It was clear Violet had been very enthused by the prospect of being a part of O cell. And if she idolized her father, it made sense.
Violet tapped her temple with her index finger. "Science, exactly." The good people's magic, she liked that. She winked back. "And in my experience, it works great against monsters. I trapped a Fire Vampire in a lightning rod, once. I think Benjamin Franklin would have been proud!" Though she supposed Benjamin Franklin never knew about Fire Vampires. Unless he created lightning rods to fight Fire Vampires? Unlikely, yes. But an amusing thought all the same.
"Yes, we should practice!" She seemed just as excited as him while she stood up, proudly holding her now functional crossbow. "We just need some empty soda cans. We can probably practice here, it's such a large room." Violet imagined the aim was going to be different, but she was confident that, after a few tries, she would get the hang of it.
"Oh tell him that if he kicks up a stink about not getting to take the crossbow home." Sloane chimed happily, Killian would want her safe from bears for sure. Though he did chuckle softly, at least in Florida he had to be used to some more hostile wildlife, Killian was very, very clearly a city kid. Violet seemed much more aware though, but she had already explained to him that she had been out in the wild west during a pre-industrial USA, she had to be capable and aware.
"I am sure I can remove some students if we have to but there's probably an empty room for her to use this time of year anyway." He preferred the idea of Violet being safe and secure wherever she was. She seemed reckless, he of course had no idea his plan would crash and burn no matter how well he tried to think it all out. "Let her decide the codeword, give her some more responsibility and weave her into the cell a little more." Hopefully enough that Killian would overcome his fear of Delta Green just enough not to report her.
Theo did at least snap out of his deep and repetitive thoughts as she showed him how it all worked. It at least clicked something in his brain well enough to get him to refocus despite his continued worries over a cultist version of himself. He sounded terrifying from what Violet described. Imagine throwing her out of a window?!
He gave an awkward not quite perfected polite smile for her thanks, not sure what if he did think what had happened was right but it was an in the moment decision and she had survived to fight another day, right? Curious about the laziness of cultists and the shade being thrown he was at least reassured she wasn't one herself. "A yes, science," Theo hummed to her alternative light source, a faint chuckle in his tone. "The good people's magic." He winked at her playfully again, swinging back around to his usual self.
He looked over the finished crossbow as she showed him and smiled. "It's really cool. We should practice with it though, don't think it's the same as shooting a gun." The aim was different right? Probably, he didn't actually have a clue what he was talking about but he was nineteen and boisterous and now excited to play with a crossbow.
#&(killian beneventi)#violet (there's no happy endings)#multipleoccupancy#delta green verse#read at your own discretion
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SPARK ââââ kim minjeong.
synopsis: in a whirlwind romance, a seemingly perfect relationship is shattered when jealousy rears its head, revealing minjeongâs unsettling obsessions and igniting a battle for sanity between love and darkness.
pairing: toxic girlfriend! minjeong x girlfriend!fem reader
warning(s): fire (uhm yeah...), jealousy, manipulation, toxic relationship, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, victimhood, violence. (let me know if I missed something!!)
word count: 7,2k (i had to rewrite it because my docs hates me and for some reason deleted the file where i had the original work... anyways this version is very similar.)
aespa masterlist.
your relationship with minjeong was complicated.
at first, the world appeared pastel and soft, built on hues of affection and endless laughter.Â
you remember the early days clearly â she was the kind of girlfriend who would take you out on dates every weekend,how she would surprise you with breathtaking bouquets, each more vibrant than the last. there were daisies, peonies, and delicate lilies, transforming corners of your home into a floral wonderland. your place started to resemble a botanical garden, petals spilling into every corner, their sweet scents blending with the memories of her laughter.
minjeong had a gift for warmth; there were times when she gazed at you as if you were a novel she could read forever, showering you with compliments that seemed to ebb and flow like the tides; âyou look so beautiful today,â she would say, even on days when you hadnât left the house or merely tied it into a messy bun. she would compliment you even when you forgot to fix your hair or wore an old hoodie.Â
her sweet, simple gestures spoke volumesâkissing you on the knuckles, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear, and watching you intently when you spoke like you were the only thing in the universe that mattered. sometimes, sheâd slip her hands into your pockets while you two held hands, wanting to keep your fingers warm when you forgot your gloves in winter. everything felt right, perfect.
but then, like a sudden storm cloud obscuring a clear sky, everything shifted. the first crack in your fairy tale surfaced when lifeâs mundane obligations got in the way of love. one fateful weekend, you had to make a choice â a subject looming over your head like a dark shadow. with an important exam creeping ever closer, you found yourself compelled to cancel your much-anticipated date night with her. the guilt settled heavily in your stomach as you dialed her number, knowing how much sheâd been looking forward to it.
âhey minjeong, iâm really sorryâŠâ you started, your palms sweaty around the phone. âi canât make it this weekend. i need to study. itâs this exam, andââ
nerves consume you, leaving you speechless. there was a long pause on the line. you could practically hear the wheels turning in her mind.
âitâs okay,â she finally said, her voice tight. âdonât worry about it,â her voice chimed back, light yet edged with something you couldnât pinpoint. âgood luck with your studies.âÂ
there was an unsettling dissonance lurked beneath the surface, leading you to believe she was fighting back something more than disappointment.
âi'm really sorry, baby. i promise i'll make it up to you as soon as possible.â you assure her, feeling the guilt eating away at you and making you feel bad, even when you weren't doing anything wrong other than putting your studies first.
âi told you not to worry about it. i understand, it seems that right now your studies are more important than your girlfriend, i get it.â
you didnât miss the subtleties in her tone; the tension that suggested she was biting back words that didnât fit into her kind demeanor.
âanyways, i'll hang up right now. i'll leave you to study in peace.â
however, judging by her tone of voice, youâd swear she was tapping the inside of her cheek with her tongue to keep from blurting out what she was really thinking.
of course, thatâs how it was. you used that weekend to study, but there were a couple of changes along the way. you ended up meeting at a friendâs house to study. she told you that she had knowledge of the subject since her sister was studying the same subjects at university and spent nights and nights studying, so inevitably your friend ended up listening to her sister study, whether she wanted to or not, memorizing more knowledge than she anticipated.
you were focused on studying, hair tied in a messy bun, books and notebooks scattered all over the table, along with pencils and empty coffee cups. your friend thought it was kind of funny to see you so focused on studying when most of the time you never studied for tests or even put a pencil down in class, so she had no better idea than to take a photo when you werenât looking.
you were deep in the grasp of equations and theories when your friend, in a mischievous moment, snapped a photo of you. you had been so absorbed that you hadnât sensed her reach for her phone.
as she clicked the shutter, the light captured you: hair a mess, scribbles sprawled across your notebook, a look of fierce concentration. unbeknownst to you, that seemingly harmless moment cascaded into something monumental. your friend, having the joys of social media at her fingertips, instantly uploaded it to her instagram stories, a lighthearted snapshot of you crushing it at studying.
minjeong was home, idly watching television, when her phone buzzed, instantly receiving the notification that your friend had made a post seconds ago. why she had notifications from your friends activated and how she managed to get updates in real-time? well, that was a secret better left unsaid. you knew that she followed your friends closely, but you never thought much of it. that was her way of staying connected, of knowing what you were up to, as if weaving a delicate thread between you, even from afar. but this thread snapped when she clicked on the notification.
within moments, minjeong sat frozen in her living room, her heart racing. she glanced at the photo on her phone: you, hair piled haphazardly, surrounded by crumpled papers and empty coffee cups, looking like you were about to conquer an academic mountain. but it wasnât only that. in the background, through the window, she could see your friend's house, ryujinâs house. the instant flash of jealousy sparked inside herâa gut-wrenching twist of envy that she fought to suppress.
the blossoming rage was immediate and insatiable. she nearly smashed her phone against the wall, leaving it to dangle dangerously from her fingertips, all shatters and anger. seconds felt like hours as her mind raced, spiraling through anger and betrayal with dizzying speed.Â
her hand trembled, tightening around the phone as she scanned the comments already popping up, friends praising your focus, others playfully teasing you. each word only fueled the fire in her chest. the image replayed in her mind, vivid and cruel, making her heart race. what had she allowed to slip while you studied with another girlâso effortlessly immersed in the comfort of your friendship while she was left behind?
minjeong felt a sudden jolt of irritation surge through her. the kind that ignited flames of a insane jealousy. the realization that you were spending time with someone else, not just anyone, but with someone who was so visibly present in your life. someone who had now become a part of this moment you were sharing without her. it felt like betrayalâthe photos intended to capture your essence instead felt like reminders of her absence.
what did it mean that you were there, alone with her? had you been telling her the truth this whole time about studying together? or had you grown tired of her and her little quirks? it felt like betrayal, visceral and raw. how did her sister's extra study sessions become her own?
in a rise of frustration, she silenced her phone, the sound echoing like a decision reverberating through her thoughts. she tossed it onto the couch and stood there, still as a statue. the warmth of the living room seemed to suffocate her, and her mind whirled with conflicting emotions. without thinking, she grabbed her jacket from where it hung and impulsively marched out of her apartment, slamming the door behind herâher heart racing as the chill of the evening air surrounded her.
where are you going? the question echoed in her mind as she stepped onto the city streets, her breath misting before her in the winter chill. she didnât know where to go; the cold wind cut through her, much like the realization of what she felt inside. she was filled with confusion, anger, and hurt, questions swirling around her like the fallen leaves.
what if you didnât want her anymore? what if this was just the beginning of something spiraling out of control? the images of you studying with someone else, laughing and flirting, ignited feelings she hadnât felt in a long time.
maybe she was overreacting? the right words swirled out of reach, tangled in the threads of her heart. she played back memoriesâeach sweet moment together battling with the icy reality of this new picture, this betrayal. she questioned every second they had spent together, every revelation she had quietly harbored about her feelings for you. youâwho were supposed to be her source of happiness, now felt like a threat, a source of pain.
your walk back home is peaceful. the cold breeze of early winter kisses your face, sending tiny shivers down your spine. luckily, you have your coat on, its fabric a comforting barrier against the chill wrapping around the city.Â
the faint glow of street lamps illuminated the sidewalk, their lights flickering like distant stars against a darkening sky. the scent of fallen leaves mingles with the faint aroma of smoke from distant chimneys, creating a vivid tapestry of autumn giving way to winter. you found comfort in the rhythm of your footsteps, each echo resonating against the chill of the night air.
as you reached the entrance of the building where you lived, you noticed a profound silence enveloping the space. the usual soundsâthe laughter of neighbors, the creaking of doors, the faint hum of lifeâare conspicuously absent.
normally, you would hear the hum of distant conversations, the clatter of heels on the tile floors, or the soft notes of music drifting from neighbors' open doors. but tonight, the only sound was the faint rustle of your coat as you shuffled inside.
a strange feeling settled over your shoulders, as if the air itself was holding its breath, the kind that prickles at the base of your neck, whispering that something isn't quite right and making you sense that something was amiss.Â
you pause for a moment, scanning the darkened hallway, but sigh and shake it off. itâs late, after all; perhaps everyone is tucked away, hibernating in their cozy nests.
you pressed the button for the elevator, the ding echoing through the stillness. as it ascended, an unsettling sense of unease crept in. you canât even hear the faint sounds of other apartmentsâthe muffled TV shows, the soft laughter, and the rhythmic background of city life. even the elevator seemed to hold its breath, devoid of the usual creaks and groans. you wondered if everyone around you had decided to vanish, leaving you as the sole inhabitant of this quiet realm.
the ascent felt slower than usual, the stillness heightened by the lack of familiar sounds. the soft whir of the machinery felt almost alien in this quiet atmosphere. just when you start to feel anxious, the elevator dings, announcing your arrival at your floor, but you feel unnerved, looking forward to the ordinary chaos of your apartment.
stepping out onto your floor, you adjusted your scarf and made your way down the hallway. rummaging through your bag for your keys, your thoughts wandered to what youâd studied at ryujinâs place earlier. it had been a late session, fueled by coffee and late-night snacks, and a part of you regretted not sending a text to let Minjeong know.
just as you were about to lose yourself in that thought, you felt a sudden grip on your wrist. startled, your heart raced as the hallway light flickered on, illuminating the figure of minjeong standing there, her expression a mix of concern and frustration.
âwhere have you been?â minjeongâs voice pierced the silence, echoing off the walls. her expression was layered with concern and something deeperâsomething that sent a shiver down your spine. in an instant, the hallway light flickered on, casting a warm glow that seemed almost foreign amidst the encroaching shadows.
you turned, wide-eyed, the knot in your stomach tightening. âminjeong? what are you doing here? itâs late.â
she narrowed her eyes, and the tension in the air thickened. âi could ask you the same thing. why were you out so late?â
you took a breath, felt the familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through you. âi told you i would use this weekend to prepare for my exam, remember? ryujin offered to help me study.â you explained, exasperated. âi forgot to tell you that i was going to her house to study, iâm sorry. but we had a big exam coming up.â you could feel the frustration bubbling beneath your skin, but you tried to keep your voice calm.
minjeongâs frown deepened, her arms crossing over her chest. you could see the gears of her mind shifting, grappling with what youâd just said. yes, she knew you were with ryujin, but verbalizing it seemed to ignite something within her, bringing out the demon of jealousy.
âjust studying?â she pressed, her tone laced with skepticism. âhow late were you planning on staying?â
you opened your mouth to respond, but she wasnât finished. âyou couldâve at least texted me, you know. i was worried!â
you raised your hands in a gesture of surrender, trying to keep your voice even. âiâm really sorry; i lost track of time. but you know ryujin is just a friend. we were going over notes, thatâs all!â
her voice trailed off, eyes narrowing as jealousy crept into her words. âyouâre always with her.â
âitâs just study stuff, minjeong!â you insisted, somewhat defensively. âyou know youâre the one i care about.â
her fingers dug into your wrist as she leaned closer, her face betraying a tempest of emotions. âi canât help it! i justâ i donât like this feeling!â
âfeeling what?â you replied, bewildered. the tension crackling between you was palpable, each word finding its mark like arrows in a target as you both circled each other like wary opponents. âiâll always choose you, minjeong. i just really needed to study.â
huffily, she crosses her arms, her fingers pressing her coat into her skin as if it were a shield. âitâs not about studying! itâs about you being inconsiderate. you couldâve called,â she huffs dramatically.
you feel a wave of frustration surge through you, but you brace yourself against it. âminjeong, you didnât have to worry. iâm safe, and besides, i didnât realize it had gotten so late.â your attempt at reason is met with a silence that hangs heavy in the air, tension crackling between you like static.
âsafe?â she scoffs incredulously, her eyes narrowing. âyouâre out with some girl at her place! i donât want to sound controlling, but why would you put yourself in that situation without telling me? you could at least consider my feelings.â
âminjeongâŠâ you feel the energy drain from your voice. the conversation is taking an unexpected turn. she knows you well enough to trust you, doesnât she? you reach out to touch her arm, but she flinches away, retreating into her own anxieties.
âjust let me into the apartment,â you plead, desperate to talk this out in private. something inside you hopes that they wonât spiral further into an explosive confession of jealousy and insecurities.
yet she shakes her head resolutely. ânot until you explain why i should trust you when youâre out with another girl,â she insists, the fight in her voice wavering but ultimately holding firm.
after much hesitation, you manage to soothe the atmosphere. âi have no feelings for ryujin. our relationship is just a friendship. you're the one i love.â
eventually, after tired back-and-forth, she mutters, â... fine. iâm sorry for overreacting, but i just canât help worrying⊠itâs not like anyone really talks to me about these things.â her voice softens, and you recognize that vulnerability; sheâs slipping into her victim role again.
you try holding her gaze, searching for the truth behind her words. âitâs okay; i get it. just try to trust me a little more, alright?â
ninjeong smiles hesitantly, but the shadows of her doubts linger in her eyes like a storm cloud threatening to break. you unlock the door and let her into your apartment, unsure of what the night will unfold. the warmth of the living space is inviting, but the tension of the moment casts a longer shadow than you anticipated.
unbeknownst to you, this moment was just the beginning of something that had rooted itself deep in your relationship with minjeongâa well-meaning storm, brewed from jealousy and care, that would spiral and churn in ways neither of you could predict. as she brushes past you into the living room, you reluctantly realize what lies ahead may be more challenging than youâd hoped for.
the argument felt small at first, a mere bump in the road of your otherwise blissful relationship with minjeong. but as the days wore on, it became apparent that the little fight had unlocked something within her, something dark and volatile. the initial infractionâher jealousy over a casual conversation you had with a mutual friendâhad spiraled into an endless cycle of blame and resentment.
you still recall the way her eyes had narrowed as she listened, her lips pressed into a tight line. that soft laugh you loved so much had been replaced by a chilling silence. what used to be playfully teasing turned into a gaze that bore down on you, probing, analyzing, judging; it felt like the weight of her disappointment was crushing your chest. once sweet and affectionate, she transformed into someone you hardly recognizedâher demeanor twisted, like a pretty piece of art slowly warping into a grotesque figure and you wondered if you even recognized the girl you had fallen in love with.
you found it hard to breathe the first time she turned that silence on you after the argument. sitting across from each other at a cafe, the usual warmth in her gaze had vanished, replaced by an unsettling intensity. you looked everywhere but into her eyes, tracing patterns in the wooden table with your fingers. you could feel her stare, piercing and relentless.
âdo you think she likes you?â she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, but laced with an edge that made your stomach churn.
âwho?â you notice that minjeong's gaze is no longer meeting yours, but is directed elsewhere across the room. you follow her gaze, and you understand what she means; a few tables away is your friend yizhuo, having breakfast and chatting with a friend of hers.
you exhaled slowly, hoping calm would drown the anxiety rising in your chest.
âdonât play coy,â she snapped, her voice suddenly sharp. âyou know exactly who iâm talking about. is it really that hard to be honest with me?â
the argument blossomed, each word a petal of bitterness, eventually curling into a thorny reality. you didnât understand where all this jealousy came from, nor did you grasp why her feelings conveyed so much potency. minjeong used to be the gentle spirit, the one who found beauty in everythingâeven in the world of people. now, she was the tempest, and you were ensnared within it.
but that wasnât the end; it was merely the first act in an ongoing tragedy. the discussions didnât stop. they became a staple of your daily life, an unwanted rhythm that resonated through your days. one friday night, a group of friends decided to gather at a local bar. laughter echoed through the walls, familiar warmth wrapped around you like an old blanket, but not for minjeong.
"are you even listening to me?" she snapped one evening during the dinner with her friends, her voice slicing through the laughter surrounding you like a knife. you had been chatting and catching up with your friends, oblivious to the thundercloud brewing in her mind.
"of course, i am," you replied earnestly, but the damage was done. the disapproval etched across her face was enough to ruin the mood. moments later, she dragged you outside under the pretense of needing air, her grip on your arm like steel.
"what's wrong with you? you've been ignoring me ever since we got here.â she demanded, her voice low but frigid.
you sighed, your heart racing. "it was just a conversation. i didn't mean to upset you."
"you should know better," she hissed, her eyes flashing. âyou and your friends always do this. you want to hurt me, don't you?â
the phrase was confusing; what in the world made her think you would ever want to hurt her? yet every rational thought fell away, and you found yourself backpedaling, desperate to soothe the storm brewing within her.
âminjeong, please. i value you and our time together. you know that,â you pleaded.
she just gives you one last look, walking back into the bar, leaving you alone with your thoughts.Â
you should have known she wouldnât be willing to play nice. midway through the first round of drinks, you saw itâthe familiar grimace twisting her features as she watched you engage in conversation with jimin, a longtime friend. you felt minjeongâs eyes digging into you like daggers, even as a lighthearted joke made jimin laugh. the sweet sound cut you offâno more jokes, no more laughter. as the night progressed and the alcohol flowed, minjeong's attitude simmered, eventually boiling over.
âcan we leave?â she demanded, standing abruptly. Ignoring the pile of half-finished drinks and clinking glasses, she grabbed your wrist, her grip hard enough to bruise. you glanced around, trying to gauge the group's reactions, but most were busy enjoying the night. you caught jimin's concerned lookâa silent plea for you to stay, but minjeong wouldnât hear it.
âminjeong, can we just relax for a moment?â you attempted to reason with her, but the storm was too loud, and the chaos was all-consuming.
âno!â she yelled, the intensity of it drawing eyes toward your table. your heart sank; a familiar humiliation washed over you. together, you walked out into the harsh night, the cool air doing little to calm your rising anxiety.
âwhat the hell was that about?â you asked, your voice strained.
âwhy were you flirting with her? you were practically hanging off her every word!â minjeong's dark eyes locked onto yours, filled with an unhinged fury. it terrified you. ot wasn't the minjeong you fell in love with, but rather a version twisted by insecurities you couldnât massage away.
âi wasnât flirting!â you insisted. âyouâre being unreasonable. everybody was just having fun!â
âfun for you, maybe,â she shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. âi suppose itâs fun to watch you toy with someone elseâs feelings.â
each syllable that slipped from her lips cut deeper than the last, practically shredding at your shared history. you tried to calm her down, stammering words of reassurance, but her only response was a silence so deafening it echoed.
from that point on, things escalated to new heights, a spiraling mess of fights that felt more reminiscent of a battle than the love you had once shared. just a few days later, at a small diner down the street, the situation hit a new low. as the waitress placed the tray on the table, you turned just in time to see her chuckling at something, probably because she thought it was adorable how you misread the name of your coffee when ordering earlierâa routine occurrence that had never bothered minjeong before. perhaps it was the way you returned the smile, or the lingering moment that stretched too long, but something snapped inside her.
the laughter was innocent; the exchange friendly. yet, to minjeong, it was tantamount to treachery.
âletâs go,â she said suddenly, her voice flat.
âwhat? but we just sat down!â you exclaimed, confusion mixing with exasperation. you detected the faintest tremble in her lips, a prelude to a full-blown tantrum.
â... did you say "but"? seriously?â she questioned, fury painting her voice. you barely had a chance to register the words before minjeong swept her arm across the table, sending the coffee cup crashing to the floor, splattering the waitress and staining the ground with bitterness.
âiâm so sorry!â you blurted, mortification flooding through you as you scrambled to your feet. the waitress stood stunned, and in that moment, your heart shattered into pieces. you apologized repeatedly while trying to help clean the mess, feeling Minjeongâs simmering rage heat the air around you.
âletâs just go,â she demanded, her eyes burning with fury as if challenging you to argue. but deep down, you were terrified of what she might do next.Â
she stormed out, leaving you behind to pay for a meal that hadnât touched your lips but felt heavier than any weight you had ever lifted. you left a generous tip, hoping to at least make amends for minjeongâs volatile behavior, but shame mixed with the taste of your muffled indignation as you left the cafĂ©.
as you stepped out into the chilly evening air, the weight of it all crashed down on you. you briefly glanced back into the diner to catch a glimpse of minjeong. she stood there, a silhouette against the light, arms crossed, focused on something entirely beyond you. the realization crashed into you like a swift waveâyou were lost in a relationship that had morphed into something toxic, a cycle of blame, punishment, and endless misunderstanding.
days of fighting would follow, each one leaving you increasingly drained. you learned to navigate carefully around her feelings, tiptoeing through conversations, wrestling with the fear of provoking another outburst. apologizing became a daily ritual, but it was a foolâs game, as though you were playing chess with a master who already knew all your moves.
nothing you did seemed to satisfy her, and every time you tried to stand your ground, she would employ that give-and-take tactic, leaving you scrambling to retrieve whatever ounce of affection you could salvage.
"you never understand what i need from you!" she'd cry, casting you a withering glare designed to pierce your heart.
you started dreading the moments you once cherished: evenings spent binge-watching shows, the casual strolls in the park, the intimate whispers shared in candle-lit corners of your favorite cafĂ©. they all became tainted by her increasing paranoia and fury. in those moments, you didnât catch a glimpse of the girl you fell for; instead, you stared back at a stranger who seemed to lose herself deeper in a well of insecurity with each fight.
what could you say to her to bridge the widening chasm? you wondered quietly if calling her out would work. but it always ended the same.
even in the stillness of your home, you could feel the shadows of her disappointment lurking. sometimes, as you lay in bed, you swore you could hear their whispers, taunting you to spur another confrontation. a ghost of the life youâd built together haunted your dreams, resurfacing in disorienting fragments where laughter hid behind walls built from distrust and rage.
to think, this all started with a simple argument. you sometimes daydreamed of how different your life could be without this turmoil, wondering nervously what life would look like if you weren't continuously tiptoeing around the storm that now defined your relationship with minjeong.
but in the end, naive hope lingered, refusing to extinguish despite the tempest that raged around you. you wanted to believe that one day, she would look at you with warmth restored, rather than that silent judgment that twisted her from within. you held onâbecause even through the tumult and the strife, there were threads of love that still remained, fragile and uncertain as they wove your lives together, if just for the moment.
the engine hums softly, a white noise glazed over with tension, as you sit in the passenger seat of minjeongâs car. the world outside the window is an endless parade of trees, stretching far enough to feel infinite, but you canât look away from the gnawing uncertainty that festers in your chest. the conversation that should have been had weeks ago hovers between you, palpable and toxic. as the cityscape fades into desolation, the weight of your relationship stretches thin, hanging by a thread.
you take a deep breath, your chest constricting as you prepare yourself for what you know must be said. conversations about love and loss echo in your mind, gnawing at your resolve. when minjeongâs hand rests on your thigh, a gesture once sweet and comforting, it now feels nearly suffocating. the warmth dissipates under the coolness of your apprehension.
âminjeong, can we talk?â you finally utter, your voice catching slightly in your throat, sounding smaller than you intended.
âwhatâs up?â she replies, her gaze fixed on the road ahead, though her grip tightens around the wheel.
you hesitate, glancing out the side window at the rushing landscape, the deep green blurring past. âitâs just⊠i donât feel that spark anymore,â you say, the words feeling like stones tumbling down a cliff. instantly, the air thickens with disbelief, and you canât bear to meet her eyes, now glinting with uncertainty in the rearview mirror.
âwhat do you mean you donât feel the spark?â she questions with an edge of panic, her tone shifting from casual to razor-sharp, slicing through the tension thickening in the car.
the argument spirals from there, each of you grappling for the upper hand, your voices rising dangerously. you can barely process the words spilling from your mouth as you try to articulate your truth. her eyes flicker with hurt and rage, and you can almost feel the hair on your arms standing on end, bristling under the weight of her indignation.
âthereâs something fundamentally broken between us, minjeong! i donât know who we are anymore!â youâre shouting now, and a rush of adrenaline floods your body.
âi canât believe you think this is all my fault!â she fires back, her knuckles white against the steering wheel. the car swerves slightly, and you dig your heels into the ground, a jolt of panic coursing through you as the pavement blurs into a double line.
âjust focus on driving!â you shout, but itâs too late. you hear her breath hitch, the silence that follows layered thick with unshed tears and suppressed rage. âminjeong, pleaseââ
suddenly, without warning, she jerks the wheel to the side, bringing the car to a sudden stop on the desolate roadside. dust swirls around in the golden glow of late afternoon, the world stilled around you, as if holding its breath along with you.
âwhat did you just say?â she repeats, her voice trembling with disbelief. her expression morphs, the initial hurt twisting into something darker, and even more frightening.
the air thickens, and you realize youâve stepped too far. you donât even recognize the fury in her eyes as she unbuckles her seatbelt and throws the door open, storming out into the open air. your heart races as her figure becomes small against the vastness of the road.
âminjeong, wait!â you call after her, moving to open your own door, only to find youâre locked inside. panic sets in as the automatic locks click ominously, sealing you in with your spiraling thoughts. you pound your fists against the window, frustration clawing at you.
âminjeong!â you shout, trying to wrangle her attention, your voice quaking. she stumbles into your peripheral vision, her back toward you, shoulders taut. then, in an instant, she disappears. heart pounding, you swivel around, confusion spilling into fear.
thatâs when you see it. the unmistakable sheen of liquid splattering against the windshield, an eerie reflection of your horror mirrored in the glass. the smell is pungent, and your heart drops as you grasp what is happening.
âminjeong, donât!â you scream, desperation clawing at your throat, but she doesn't seem to hear you. she is lost to whatever abyss has consumed her; the girl you once knew has vanished.
the gasoline coats the car, pooling in strange little rivulets that trace the carâs contours as minjeong stands in front of you, lost in a trance. a match flickers in her fingers, its flame dancing dangerously close to your cloud of panic. she holds it delicately, her expression unreadableâcaught between rage and an eerie calm.
âwatch,â she whispers, her voice almost saccharine, but thereâs an undertone that sends chills racing through you. âthis will bring the spark back, i promise.â
in one quick motion, she tosses the match into the pool of gasoline. time slows; the world compresses into a singular moment of fate sealing itself.Â
your heart pounds against your ribs as the flames erupt, turning the world outside into a hellish kaleidoscope of oranges and reds. minjeongâs eyes glimmer with a wildness, a furious passion that you had long thought was reserved for love. it was intoxicating, but now it feels more like poison. the air around you thickens with fumes, panic rising in your throat as you grasp the reality of your situation. sheâs gone off the deep end, and youâre trapped inside her fiery cage.
you slam on the windows with both fists, the sound muffled and desperate. âminjeong! open the door!â your voice is panicked, twisting into a shout that echoes through the confines of the vehicle. at first, she appears unfazed, a haunting smirk dancing on her lips. the atmosphere is electricâdangerous and exhilaratingâyet your thoughts betray you, reminding you of the dull ache that has settled between you like an invisible rift.
your heart races as the flames erupt, engulfing the car and devouring the serenity that had once swirled between you and minjeong. the acrid scent of smoke fills the small space, mingling with the gasoline that blankets every surface. you pound on the glass, your fists an echo of disbelief and desperation, but minjeong just stares at you, a wild light in her eyesâa far cry from the sweet girl you once held in your arms.
as the flames lick at the trunk and crawl toward the driverâs seat, the heat creeps in, threatening to suffocate you. but more than the heat, it is the sight of her, standing there like a goddess of vengeance, that haunts your mind. where did the girl you love go? the girl who would curl up on the couch with you, giggling at inside jokes, the one who held your hand tightly on late nights?
âminjeong! stop!â your voice is hoarse, but the urgency rings clear. fear gnaws at you, and instinct pushes you to escape. you claw at the doors, your fingers dancing over the locks, but they don't budge. locked. the word loops in your mind, almost too much to bear.
she takes a step back, hitting the pause button on the chaos she has ignited. with trembling hands, you watch her, searching for a glimmer of recognition in her features, something that would remind you of the girl who laughed at your silly jokes and filled your weekends with warmth. Instead, you see a stranger, one who stands poised at the edge of insanity, her smile a grotesque mask on her face.
âdid you really think you could just push me aside so easily?â she sneers, the smile twisting into something ugly. âyou think you can just extinguish what we hadâwhat i feel?â
you open your mouth to respond, but your breath catches as the fire flickers and dances, threatening to reach through the windshield. the world outside is muted now, as though the encroaching flames siphon away all sound. âminjeong, i care about you! i didnât mean it like that!â you lean forward, the moisture in your eyes blurring the edges of her silhouette.
âcare about me?â she echoes mockingly, the words dripping like venom. âitâs too late for that!â Her laughter rings hollow, shrill against the ominous crackling of fire.
and suddenly, she lunges forward, banging on the glass with the same frantic fervor that fills your chest. âyou donât see it, do you? this is the spark! you killed it! you have no idea what youâve lost!â
hot tears mingle with the smoke that begins to creep in. panic swells; you lean back against the seat, the metal frame hot against your skin. âplease, minjeong! we can talk about this! We can fix it!â
but the light in her eyes dims further, replaced by an overlay of anguish. âfix it?â she whispers, so soft it barely pierces the roar of the flames. âyou think you can put a band-aid on this? youâve already broken what we had. youâve turned your back on me.â
in that moment, itâs clear that every moment together, every late night and laughter shared, has unraveled into nothingness. you remember the smiles, the moments of tenderness, the nights spent plotting futures together. but now, those echoes fade into oblivion, shattered by this haunting betrayal you never intended.
as the flames crack and wax, throwing shadows across her glassy visage, you strain against the seatbelt, desperate, panicking at the thought of losing herâlosing everything you once held dear. âim sorry!â an apology that feels paltry escapes your lips, barely serving to bridge the chasm that has formed between you.
and with a strength you couldnât comprehend, she tears down the remainder of the emotional barriers between sanity and chaos. as you edge closer, weighed down by the fear that wraps around your throat like a vice, she crumbles. the match she holds wavers, and you catch a glimpse of your minjeong againâa fleeting shadow, a flashing whisper of the girl who loved you fiercely.
you canât let her go back to this. âlisten to me, please! i never wanted to hurt you! iââ
you try to think of ways to escape, but the navy blue interior surrounds you like the jaws of a beast, each lock holding you in place as if the car itself is complicit in this tragedy. âstop this, please!â you scream, voice breaking on the last word. âi didnât mean it like that! we can talk!â
her gaze flickers, a brief moment of uncertainty flashing in her eyes. it almost seems she is weighing her options, wondering if the anger she feels is worth the girl standing inside the car. you find yourself holding your breath.Â
but itâs too late. the flame dances gracefully from her fingertips, and she lets it go, a careless act that sends shockwaves of fear through you. time slows as you watch it fall, the world narrowing to the small, flickering flame that lands on the gasoline-soaked surface of the car. it ignites with an eager roar, consuming the air around you in an instant.
you recoil, bracing yourself against the back of the seat as the fire spreads, heat prickling your skin. the stench of burning gasoline fills your lungs, and the choking smoke twists and turns, curling toward you like a dark hand that wants to pull you into its depths.
âwhy?â you gasp, your voice a thin wisp of disbelief. is this truly the person you once adored, the one you held under the glow of a streetlight and whispered your dreams to? as the flames grow taller, licking hungrily at the roof, you realize just how far you have drifted from the joyous heights of your early love.
âwhy?â she mimics, voice eerily calm amidst the chaos of the roaring flames. âbecause you wanted the spark? youâve taken everything! sweet moments, tender touchesâthey were all because of your idea of love! this is what it looks like when you strip away the façade!â
y ou take a deep breath and lean forward, desperate to connect with her again, to reach through the haze of madness and remind her of all that was good between you. âminjeong, please! this isnât you! letâs just talkââ
your words hang suspended in the air, but she remains unmoved. you can see the resolve etched into her features, a tragic conviction that seems to make her larger than life even in the midst of this crisis. you brace for the worst, your heart thundering in your chest. her face, once the definition of warmth, is now a tempest of rage, pain, and heartbreak.
the very essence of your relationship burns behind her eyes, and there, in that harrowing moment, you fear youâre witnessing the end of everything youâd built together. âyou wanted the spark, didn't you?â she shouts, voice cracking under pressure, blending anger and sorrow. âyou think youâre just going to walk away from this? no more empty promises!â
you feel it thenâthe crushing weight of reality crashing down on you. you are two people who have lost sight of why you fell in love in the first place. you have become strangers anchored by memories, and it hurts just as much to acknowledge it as it does to see the fire grow around you.
âminjeong, please!â your eyes burn from the smoke, but thereâs a flicker of something within youâan ember of hope. âwe can fix this! i didnât mean to hurt you! i still care about you, iââ
but all she hears is betrayal wrapped in weakness. âyou care?â she laughs bitterly, wiping away a tear that trails down her cheek, mingling with the sweat of her panic. âis this what caring looks like?â
moments stretch on as you process her anguish; the flames havenât just engulfed the vehicle, but theyâre consuming the last bits of clarity in the conversation. she takes a step back from the car, eyes wide, the wildness giving way to uncertainty.
desperation drives you as you shout, âminjeong! open the door! we can talk!â you slam your palm against the windows, creating a rhythmic pattern of thuds, shouts blending into chaos.
she watches you through the flames now, the mad gleam returning to her eyes. âtalk? do you really think we can talk? this is us now! this is what we were!â the flames illuminate her, making her look almost otherworldly, distorting the very features you once adored.
she watches you, and for a flicker of eternity, it feels like she might relent. the fire licks at the edges of the foam seats, and you can see the panic setting in her eyes, too, now. âyou think itâs over?â minjeong asks, her voice barely rising above the roar of the heat. âitâs just beginning!â
she gives you one last look, then turns on her heel, walking away from the car, away from you, running away from the chaos she started.
and in that heartbeat, the flicker from her gaze changesâit morphs into a realization. the spark of love flares within her eyes, a tiny flame that could either save you or plunge you into darkness. what will it be, you wonder?
but will it reach you before the flames burn everything to ash? time is slipping, and youâre left battling a love you once cherished, now clawing at it with words that barely feel like enough.
as the heat intensifies and the situation ticks dangerously close to a breaking point, you wonder if love, once passionate, can be rekindled, or if it is destined to blaze out in a storm of fury and flames. would it matter if you escape if the love is lost in the inferno?
#minjeong#minjeong x fem reader#minjeong x reader#kim minjeong#kim minjeong x fem reader#kim minjeong x reader#winter#winter x fem reader#winter x reader#aespa#aespa x fem reader#aespa x reader#kpop x fem reader#kpop x reader
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bon's thoughts (18+) a/n: anonsss i see your messages in my ask box, i might take a break from answering them cuz i got other... interesting thoughts LMFAO college!au daniel ricciardo who's partnered up with you for group project. only problem is that he's not doing any of his work. all he ever does is say something cheeky, wink at you and walk away to hang out with his friends. you hate him. you hate the way he sits next to you in class even though he knows you hate him, but he does it on purpose because he likes to see your reaction. you hate that he's always glancing at your answers when you're taking a test, and then boasting about how smart he is outside of the lecture hall. he never turns in his work, never texts you if he's done his part of a powerpoint and certainly doesn't respond when you're calling him at 3 in the morning, crying about how you need him to finish his slide or else you're going to get a bad grade because of him.
he always chooses you because he knows no matter what, you'll end up finishing his slides. and he merely is trying to finish inside you. he watches you cross your arms, bite your lips and frown when he's presenting to the other students. you're always unhappy with what he's doing, and he wants to see you with a smile on your face.
"a smile wouldn't hurt you know" he leans close to you to whisper into your ear. the both of you are at the library, sitting in the small cafe as you're editing your slide. you frown at him,
"you finish your slides and then i'll smile. we have to rehearse this before tomorrow. you wanna meet up somewhere this evening?" you ask.
"i'm busy this evening. what about at night? 1 am at the basketball court?" daniel asks and you scowl,
"that's across campus for me! and i know you're just gonna play basketball and not let me practice. why are you always my partner, i just don't get it, you're useless!" but you still agree, because it's either the basketball court, or no rehearsal at all.
you press record on your phone, because you like to record all your practice sessions, and you take a step back. your laptop's on the bleachers, and daniel walks over. he's sweating, having played basketball until you showed up, and he smiles at you. you don't reciprocate and roll your eyes, telling him to get started.
"remember, it's a presentation about pain vs pleasure. you need to be careful with what you say. i included extra examples on your slide, like cutting your finger on accident, and getting a good grade on your test. cuz you know serotonin is-" your words are tuned out of his mind, he's focusing on the part where you said pain vs. pleasure and he has a wicked idea in his head. he nods, contorting his face to look like he's deep in thought and listening to you intently. he takes off his cap and tosses it to the side before winking at you,
"i got this don't worry." and he turns to face the camera. surprisingly, he's doing well. very well, and that doesn't sit right with you. he never is this prepared, and the entire time you're staring at him with a look of shock. he turns to you with clasped hands, "may i perform a demonstration?"
and you're nodding your head, "of course, of course!" because you think he's being very serious and composed, you'll do anything as long as he's finally listening to you for once. he nods his head, standing behind you, and almost immediately he yanks your top up just enough for your tits to spill out and he watches them jiggle in front of the camera. the cold air of the night makes your nipples harden and as you're gasping in shock at what he's doing, he roughly takes your nipples in his hands and twists them, causing you to cry out.
"that's pain," he glances at the camera, before kneeling in front of you. he takes your areola in his mouth and begins to suck, rubbing your other nipple with his thumb. you let out a really quiet moan, a hand coming to grab the curls in his hair and he tears his mouth away from you juicy tit with a pop! "and that's pleasure!"
he crawls over to where your phone is and stops the recording, and glances back at you, leaning on his elbow with smile, "should we do some more rehearsals?"
and you're nodding your head like crazy.
#bon's thoughts#daniel ricciardo smut#daniel ricciardo x reader smut#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo imagines#daniel ricciardo headcanons#daniel ricciardo one shots#daniel ricciardo fanfic#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 x reader smut#f1 x female reader#f1 x female reader smut
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How do you develop your opening lines?
I LOVE this question and have been waiting for it. I won't get overdramatic, but I understand how crucial opening lines areâthey can either ignite or extinguish our inspiration for a project.
Before diving into how to develop opening lines, let's consider the qualities we're aiming for. Opening lines should pack a punch, set a promising tone, and hook readers beyond the first page.
Now that we've established that, let's look at the different forms opening lines can take:
Emotional
Practical
Straight to the point
Dramatic
Action lines
Dialogue technique
I can't exhaustively cover each form in a single blog post, but understand that each works better for certain genres and can be interchangeable in exceptional cases.
If you wish to learn more, consider joining my group. I'll be running events soon where I'll discuss topics like this with interested writers. You'll find the link below.
One last thing: no one, absolutely no one, can or should determine what your opening lines should be. You have to figure that out yourself after understanding the forms you can use to your advantage. Remember how I said it can shut down our inspiration? Well, opening lines come from inspiration.
"If the opening line doesn't set the tone for you when you write, it can't set the tone for your readers when they read."
Looking for a supportive community dedicated to helping you grow as a writer? Join the Writers Universe server and thrive!
#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#writer#writing community#wattpad#writerscommunity#a03 writer#ao3 writer#opening lines#writers of tumblr#writers#creative writing#writing tips#writing style#writing struggles#writing stuff#story writing#writing stories#on writing
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drew myself in the fields of mistria style for the wiki!! đŒ
#my art#MK/RET#fields of mistria#fields of mistria fanart#pixel art#art#artists on tumblr#i'm still getting the hang of it x_x#but i'll get more practice when i draw monroe and cherry and lav!!
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pretending my oc had a menswear photoshoot for a magazine
#nero huntington#art only#bc of the setting of the rp comm he was in he's technically super duper famous#but he is extremely socially anxious and he physically hides from cameras behind other people despite being the tallest in the lineup#anyways charity photoshoot benefiting a wolf sanctuary is the only reason he'd do this#also getting to hang out with wolves#i need to practice animals more#also hey! i've been working on stuff that i'm not allowed to post! my life is hell! i'm dying inside#i'm going to be working on merch soon hopefully#i'll at least be able to post processes on patr*on
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I wanna show you all the decapitated dream heads I printed but I am too tired to move....maybe tomorrow....
#ehm yaps#i just printed the heads to test quality since the body was printing fucked up and they might have to be seperated for better end quality#practicing sanding on them and im getting the hang of it#its not perfect perfect visually and idk why but they feel amazing TwT#hopefully by the end of the weekend i'll have a process all set#if not I will cry
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Rendering practice of my orc warrior :)c
#tried a new technique!!! I'll get the hang of it eventually#but did you guys know i like orcs (am shoved off stage)#he's shirtless because im. lazy and also PRACTICING...#world of warcraft oc#world of warcraft#orc#wow orc#mag'har orc#orctober#Lichy Art
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skeledog Leander WIP
the skull here is actually modeled closely after a deer skull, just compressed to fit a dog's overall face shape. also tried to make the eyes a little less wide-set than a deer's without making them completely front-facing like a dog's. here's the rest of the (still un-rendered) body:
i'm testing out the screen recorder i just downloaded so if that ends up working the way i want it to i'll have a timelapse of this piece when it's done :)
#whump#i mean leander is unharmed#he is fine#but i would NOT put it past him to go whumping someone else while he's like this#or most any other time really#tor draws#original characters#oc: leander#leanimals#drawing#art#don't think this really counts as gore but perhaps i'll tag it as#horror#if of a milder sort#skeleton#bones#drawing wip#also fun fact! i am doing all the painting and rendering on one layer for the most part#like the rough sketch is on a separate layer but i'm painting completely over it and all that is being done on a single layer#i hate to do that with art of humanoid characters#it's just really difficult for me for some reason#but when it comes to animals and monsters and creatures and such i actually really prefer doing things on a single layer as much as possibl#which is weird bc for years i've been a steadfast 'has dozens and dozens of layers for a single drawing#so every little thing can have its own layer' kind of girlie#still can't get the hang of single-layer painting for humanoid characters tho#can't seem to get the hang of applying this same lineless painterly style to humanoid characters either#which causes me absolutely no end of grief#i WANT to#but it's so fucking hard lol#but ig that's what practice is for đ
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for the first time in ages an ebay search for Alex Kralie's Discontinued Striped Blue American Eagle Outfitters Hoodie turned up a result! a preworn XS one (with photos of a ruler across its height & width to reference against a garment of your own) with a small hole beside the top of the zipper (shown in photos also. mend Or just decide is alex kraliecore as is) & ships out of texas, $12.99 or best offer
#marble hornets#if i'm ever on the other side of a life transition period here i presume i'll be getting rid of a kralie hoodie eventually too#it's very practical in a like fairly heavy & insulating way. which also makes it a bit bulky to stash somewhere lol#a medium size with fraying fitted cuffs....after originally snatching up an XL off ebay for like idek how much more money#which i then also shipped off to another MH fan like ok i bought the more fitted cheaper one & no need to hang on to this one....sagas
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#just a lil filler post to get me back into the swing of things#and also to introduce terri!!!!#everyone say hi terri!#she is ian's work bestie and she's the first person since ella that he's actually kind of let into his life#soooo big deal#anyway i'm not super happy with the framing of this#i'm out of practice#but the next post should be easier#i'll get the hang of it again#ts4#the sims 4#the sims 4 story#the sims 4 legacy#twfa#alex duncan#ian duncan#terri gill
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                      A shadow is cast wherever he stands                               Stacks of green paper                                    In his red right hand
#Opo doodles#Helluva Boss#Helluva Boss Crimson#Crimson#Going based off what he was originally suppose to look like#Since I prefer that look over what we got but!#That's just me#I need more practice with him...#I feel he should be a little more square chested#Bulkier??#I'll get the hang of him soon kjnaeae
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i've finally reached the part in the semester where we're covering the second law of thermodynamics. matt bellamy we're in it together now
#i post#no but in all seriousness it's super cool and i shouldn't make it out to be super hard because i should have confidence in myself#i'm also finally getting to use energy equations in a fun way (that E = KE + PE shit you probably saw in the last few years of grade school#you don't really get much use out of them in the first two sections covering simple kinematics and then EM#beyond them being slightly more convenient ways of solving problems#but they're obviously essential to thermodynamics and now it's fun#i still don't test well however but the prof is the gay tumblr user to my luke skywalker. he sees my chanel boots. he sees me throw down--#on the practice problems we do in class#so i have a chance at an A in the class with a really really cool extra credit assignment#right after spring break i have to give a 5-10 minute presentation on thermodynamics WRT my major#the most obvious low-hanging fruit is the color of stars (and if i can't find anything else i will do that)#but i'm almost tempted to try and find a hw problem in the book and do a whole thing on that#that way i get to show off the fact that i do know how to do math i just have a really poor memory lol#or maybe i'll do something on the future of the universe at the largest timescales-- like how all star cores will eventually turn to iron#or how black holes gradually dissolve#idk#but yeah super cool shit
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hi guys :3
i'll be not doing stuff on this blog for a while
so dw if u see me randomly disappear
#and it's rambled#re1999#r1999#rbs will continue probably#to be honest#this is for mental health#i do love having this blog but it also sparks bad feelings in me#so i'll be taking a step back on it#plus my school will be having a concert soon and ergh..#i'm the worst playing in my section so#i'll need to practice#especially since i have a test on it..#i have an orthodontist appointment tm and a giant test#and idk#i'm just really tired#my uncle will be coming to visit on holiday break yay#that's pretty much every life update i have#oh#my situation ship keeps trying to like interact w me and purposely tries to get under my skin by hanging around my friends n making me watch#so if anyone has tips for that pls send my way#but i think that's it#i'm planning to come back after dec 12th
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Howâs life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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1/ this bout of comms almost done and 2. spawndate in 3 days so I have! been fixin up some stuff for the itch store. that'll go live on the 29th! right now there Is a pack of the lineart stuff I did last year for folks who found that agreeable, still free to grab! for practicing coloring, or if you wanna mess around with colors when ur not feelin like doing lineart, or if you wanna try to figure out colors in a drastically different style than what you usually go for. or if u just wanna look at it that's cool too. small announcement that is all see u in a few
#bakuspeech#update on the situation: is mostly contained. it'll take a fair bit to make up for how much it's kicked us in the nuts#but it's doable. just Very annoying and tedious and sudden and overall it just sucks#esp. like right up close to my birthday lmao. like if it happened earlier this year I'd be like alright. sucks shit but par for the course#this year has already been so fucked up. this might as well happen#but since it's happened in december it really brings on the feeling of like. fr bitch?#right in front of my cake? me the birthday boy? the specialest fucking boy?#but well. theres a Thing around here that's ur birthday usually being the unluckiest day#but also we're the kind of folks who track death dates rather than birthdays. like up until very recently#all four of my grandparents have unspecified birthdays. their birth years aren't even correct. on paper they're like#a few years older than they actually are#and my granddad on my dads side was even from a family of some means so it wasnt even a class thing#man. last year Something was happening around this time too. idr what but it also sucked#mmm. well. what is really just is. and I've already taken a hammer to it anyhows#I'll do the same for the birthday thing. it Will be fucking good. I take a hammer to it#I'm very glad I still get some commissions even tho it was practically right up to noel#you guys are very generous. I don't say it as often as I should I think but I'm very very thankful for the support#glad to hang out around here still. glad to have the folks I have here. thank u for chillin with me#please look forward to the itch store update. got a new thing along with the old things ported over. stay tuned
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