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dreamescapeswriting · 10 months ago

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Blooms Of Serenity ~ BC

WORD COUNT: 1.7K

GENRE: comfort fic, chan being very sweet and comforting toward a reader who has had a hard time with their anxiety/panic attacks lately, cute boyfriend chan, NON IDOLVERSE, established relationships

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Sliding out of the seat carefully you held your hand out to Chan who was still refusing to let you take off the blindfold he'd put on you about an hour ago. Part of you was a little sad he'd refused to let you see, you loved going on night drives with Chan since you'd spend all of your time looking up at the stars that were scattered across the sky it was one of your favourite things to do.

"Are you going to pout all night?" Chan whispers in your ear, his breath catching on your skin making your whole body shiver.

"No, but I'll stop sooner if you let me see," You giggle trying to tempt him but it wasn't going to, Chan had been working on this surprise all week long and he wasn't going to ruin it now.

In the heart of a packed city, where life echoed everywhere and it didn't matter how far you went you'd still hear the sounds of car horns or people yelling there existed a small haven of tranquillity known as the Serenity Garden. After extensive googling, Chan had managed to find the little slice of heaven for you.

Its charm lay not only in its lush greenery and vibrant blooms of flowers but also in its ability to soothe troubled souls. And it was here that Chan decided to bring you.

The gardens were said to be completely silent, breaking away from the hustle and bustle of life which was exactly what you needed right now.

As Chan stepped into the garden, the air seemed to change, becoming lighter, and more fragrant and turned his attention to you, his hands shakily taking off the blindfold as he studied your reactions. As soon as the blindfold was off and your eyes had adjusted to the light your once tense shoulders relaxed slightly as you took in the sight of the colourful flowers swaying gently in the breeze. The place looked like something straight out of a fantasy romance book.

"Chan...Where did you even find this?" Your voice barely came out as a whisper as you walked further into the gardens, being careful of the flowers as you strolled.

"I'll never reveal my secrets, Google did play a huge part," He winks at you playfully as he smiles to himself. He was pretty proud of his find and happy with himself that it seemed to ease you, even if just for a little while.

Your eyes were still busy trying to take everything in, the garden stretched out like a patchwork quilt, with winding pathways meandering through lush greenery and colourful blooms. Huge trees provided perfect picnic spaces underneath them.

"This place is...beautiful," Your voice cracked a little as you turned to look back at Chan, who had a giant grin on his face.

"You needed time away from everything, so I found a small home away from home," He smiled, taking your hand in his and kissing it softly before making his way through the garden with you.

Every corner of the garden held its own enchantment, there were clusters of roses in shades of pink and red, and beds of vibrant tulips that swayed gracefully in the night breeze. There were even patches of wildflowers dotted around the landscape, something you truly never thought you'd see in person.

"This is like something from a book," You whispered to Chan, somehow it felt wrong if you were to speak too loudly, like somehow you would disturb the peace that was around.

"I knew you'd love it," He chuckled softly, taking you toward the centre of the garden where a majestic water fountain was sat. It was a marble basin adorned with intricate carvings that all depicted mythical creatures and flowing vines. The water trickled from the spouts filling the night air with the sound of cascading water.

"I love it and you," You told him as he carefully sat down on a brick bench that was sat in front of the fountain.

"I love you too, this is your sanctuary," He told you as you carefully sat down beside him, smiling and letting out a sigh of relief as you just let the world be.

Sitting there amidst the blooms, you felt a sense of peace wash over you, a welcome respite from the storm raging within your mind. But even in this serene setting, the echoes of your anxiety lingered, threatening to pull you back into its grasp.

As if he could sense your distress Chan wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

"I'm here, Yn," He whispered softly, his voice soothing your frazzled nerves as if like magic,

"You're not alone." You leaned into his embrace, finding solace in his presence, something you'd always managed to do with your boyfriend. There was something about him you couldn't quite explain, something you never thought could be possible but he calmed you.

He made you feel safe and secure whenever you were together, safe enough to let your mind go blank as you just relaxed against him. Sleeping next to someone had never been easy for you before but with Chan you always found yourself able to fall asleep with ease and even sleep through the night. Your body trusted him.

"Just close your eyes and let it be," Chan whispered, you closed her eyes, letting the sound of the water fountain and the sweet scent of flowers envelop you like a protective cocoon, Chan's strong arms around you helping all the more. With each breath, you felt the tight knot of anxiety within your chest slowly begin to unravel.

"Listen to the leaves." He said, his breath warm against your ear as you kept your eyes closed.

"Each one carries a message of hope, reminding us that even in the darkest of times, light is always there to be found." Chan pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, his hands gently running up and down your arms as you felt a lump in your throat beginning to form.

"You're stronger than you realised, Yn." He continued, his voice filling you with hope and confidence.

"You've faced so many challenges before and you've emerged stronger every single time...You have the courage and the resilience to overcome this..." He stilled his hands before moving closer to your ear,

"I believe in you," He whispered as your tears began to flow, you turned to bury your face in Chan's chest and he smiled weakly.

"I know it's hard," He told you as his arms tightened around you.

"But you're not and never will be alone in this. I'm here for you, every step of the way." He tells you as you snuggled closer to him.

"We'll face this together and we'll be stronger on the other side." He promised you, and you knew you could believe him, you just knew.

As you sat there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you, a beacon of light in the darkness you'd been consumed in for days. With Chan by your side, you knew that you could weather any storm, and conquer any fear. Together you'd be able to emerge from anything victious.

"Thank you, Chan...for everything," You sniffled a little and Chan smiled using his hands to gently swipe away the tears that had fallen.

"You never have to thank me for something like this, I just want you to come to me in the future." He told you as you nodded, cuddling into him and smiling warmly.

After a few hours of sitting there, enjoying the night sky and the sounds of water you knew it was time to head home but there was something different. It felt as though there was a renewed sense of purpose coursing through your veins. You knew that the road ahead would be filled with challenges, but you also knew that with Chan by your side, you were going to be able to face anything that came your way.

In the days that followed your visit to the Garden, you found yourself leaning on Chan more than ever, which he was adoring every second of. All he ever wanted was to be there for you, it was part of being a boyfriend he was supposed to be there to support you in times of hardship. He became your rock, your steady anchor in the tumultuous sea of emotions. With his unwavering support, you began to face her anxiety head-on, armed with newfound courage and determination.

The two of you had developed different coping mechanisms that would help you out whenever your mind would become stormy. You took walks to the park almost every other night, leaving your phones at home and just walking hand in hand, breathing in the crisp air as you tried to let things go. Throughout every single part of it, Chan had been there, a constant source of love and encouragement, never once letting you go through any of it alone just as he had promised.

Through everything, Serenity Garden was your sanctuary, a place of refuge and where Chan would take you when everything would get too much again. You both returned to it often, seeking solace amidst the flowers and fountains and every time you came back you felt a little lighter as if the weight of the world was lifted from your shoulders, even for a short time. The two of you were back again tonight, cuddled together on the brick bench, surrounded by the gentle melody of the water fountain and the fragrant embrace of the flowers. Chan had his arms around you, pulling you close to him as his arms were a comforting shield around you.

"I love you, Yn," He whispered, his voice soft but fulled of unwavering sincerity.

"I will always be here for you, through the good times and the bad." Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you stared up at him, overwhelmed by how much Chan truly meant to you and how deep his love went for you. At that moment, you knew he was absolutely your soulmate, your partner in life's adventures.

"I love you too, Chan." Your voice choked with emotion/

"Thank you for being my rock, for never giving up on me even when I felt like I was giving up on myself." Chan brushed a gentle kiss across your forehead,

"I'll never give up on you and I'll never let you give up on yourself," He whispered to you, kissing your forehead one last time before you sat there, wrapped in each other's arms, your love burning amidst the tranquil beauty of Serenity Garden and you felt peace completely wash over you.

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drawing-prompt-s · 9 months ago

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GoFundMe: Getting the kitten to the vet...

for a rabies shot, FIV testing, and a possible upper respiratory infection!

So someone sent in the last $305 I needed while I was asleep. I'm transferring it to my account now which means I'm a) shutting off the GFM as soon as the transfers process and b) taking in the kitten as soon as the money becomes available to me - so likely by Friday I'll take her in, or Saturday or Monday (they do half days Saturday, and are closed Monday).

GoFundMe Link Paypal Link

Venmo Link Cashapp Link

Multiple payment options available because I am typically asked for alternatives to GFM and PP.

$350 / $350

-------------

INFORMATION + VIDEO UNDER THE CUT!

From the GoFundMe description:

Hello!

So, unplanned, there is a new kitten in the house as of Feb. 22, 2024. (Not Jolene's, she is fixed). When at my friend's house - where I will be moving in a few months - we found out that a cat that comes to visit often is not only owned, but a mom. However, the neighbor doesn't want the kittens, so he always puts them outside and leaves them there. I could no, in my right mind, leave the kitten outside by a trashcan and under a tire in February of all months, so I brought her home.

So far I have treated her for hookworms, given her the vaccines I can do myself, and looked into getting a spay voucher from one of the local shelters. The kitten is roughly 3 months old.

However, current concerns are that she may have an upper respiratory infection (and there is always the concern that she could be FIV+). She has an inflamed eye with a regular and concerning amount of discharge and has for a few days. I have also caught her sneezing and she has started coughing on more than a few occasions. She also has a few other signs of sickness - anemia, the runs, and some blood spotted in it. If it is a URI, I need to catch it as fast as possible because I also have Jolene, my 3 year old cat. She absolutely also needs FIV testing and a rabies shot because of that, and because where we are moving there are other cats.

Jolene and the kitten have both been getting along well. The kitten loves to follow her around and Jolene acts more like the disgruntled big sister (don't let her fool you, I have caught them playing regularly - she just needs her alone adult time too).

I have already altered a bit of my projected finances and removed money from my savings to care for the kitten and help her. But there is only so far that can go as I also need to be able to afford gas, food, and furniture for the upcoming move (I'm going to start buying things soon so I can put it together and move my stuff prior to the official move date). I was trying to put off a full vet visit until sending the kitten in for a spay, but with her eye and the possibility of infection spreading to other cats, it can no longer wait.

I am shutting off this GFM as soon as I reach the goal. The vet said to budget for a little more than $300, between the base cost of a visit, FIV testing, rabies, and potential treatment for an Upper Respiratory Infection- assuming it's nothing too major. And I added a little more to what I am expecting because GFM does take a fee from donations.

If the kitten does end up being FIV+ we do have rehoming options available or I will find someone better suited to handle an FIV+ cat (either already having one of their own or a home with no pets).

I tried to take a video of the eye, but as you can imagine, a 3 month old kitten isn't the most keen on staying still, haha.

-------------

Let me add in the breakdown as well, now that I think about it:

Base cost for my vet to see a new cat (even as a pre-established client with other cats treated there): $100

FIV testing: $40

Rabies (and other vaccines I may be missing I was unable to do myself): $35 - $45

And the vet recommended budgeting about $100 for medications depending on what they find (if she still has worms, if she has other parasites due to being outside untreated, if she has a URI like the current concern is): $100

The rest is tax, the % upcharge for using a card, and to negate the fees that GFM with-drawls from each donation.

#prompt prophet #promphet #gofundme #mutual aid #kitten #cat

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royalarchivist · 1 year ago

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Pac: Tchau, tchau, tchau. Tchau, Ramon!

Fit: Alright, thanks again you two, we appreciate it.

Pac: Bye! Bye big daddy!

Fit: [Laughs then sighs] Too much, too much, you're too much Pac, you're too much.

Pac: [Shameless laugh]

Fit: Alright, I can't- you got me flu- I can't even find Ramon's teleport, you got me flustered! Alright, here we go. Alright, see ya! [He and Ramon warp home] Well, that was fun, Ramon. [Reading chat] Oh, it's Valentine's Day in Brazil? I didn't know! Ours is in February.

Ramon: Get a another hussband v:

Fit: Yeah, I'm gonna have to divorce Spreen at this point Ramon, 'cuz, I mean, he's not coming back anytime soon. And he's- he's not even paying child support! He can't even invest in all of your machines, you know? They got to come from somewhere! So... yeah, that's not a bad idea, Ramon. I'll think about it.

#FitMC #Pactw #Hideduo #FitPac #QSMP #Ramon #June 12 2023 #Edited #Q

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barelyahumanbeing · 4 months ago

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The Strange Night at the Convenience Store

Pairing Humanoid monster x reader

Plot You moved to that place recently and already had a favorite convenience store. There was nothing special about, until you had to go there at night and cross into a peculiar version of it... with also a peculiar attendant

Warnings: None

N. A. So this is my first story for this blog, and I'm so excited with this new project! I have plans of bringing other formats besides lists like this one, so please tell me what type of content you feel more comfortable with 🥰 I'll also create a masterlist with all my content separated by creature, title and other categories in the future, so everything will be kept in order. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little story and feel free to share your thoughts!

🥀 You moved to that city a few weeks ago and were still adapting to your new routine. It was the first time you were going to live alone, so you were excited and scared at the same time

🥀 Among all the things you had to manage by yourself now, it was discovering the supermarkets and shops that existed near your place, and which of them had the best products and prices. One day, you found a convenience store on a gas station located on a block behind the one where your building was, which sold snacks and essential items at a good price. It quickly became your favorite store, and you went there on every opportunity you had

🥀 Thing is that you always went there by day, so you never needed to leave your apartment by night when you wanted a good treat

🥀 However, there was this time when you forgot to shop at day, so you only found out your pantry was empty when it was almost 21pm

🥀 You sighed. Your movie night would have to start later than you planned

🥀 You left home promising you were going back to its comfort soon

🥀 You used to cross an alley right behind your building to shorten the way to the store, but you didn’t want to use it at night, so you took an entire walk around the block.

🥀 When you were about to cross the street, you noticed a change in your surroundings. The street, the buildings and cars were... different. Old. It was like you were in the same place, but in a past version of it. Even the few people you saw on the sidewalks wore strange clothes: they weren’t retro clothes like the ones you used to see in popular shops, but real, old clothes, though they were in good conditions, as if they were bought recently. The people were strange as well, but you weren’t sure about why you thought that

🥀 You didn’t understand what was going on, but you decided to pretend everything was alright and enter the convenience store. It was better than making a scene and attract unwanted attention

🥀 It was like entering another dimension: it was the perfect scenario of those convenience store of the movies produced in the 1980s, but realistic… and with an unsettling aura. Maybe it was the green neon lights that came out of nowhere, casting a sinister glow over the objects and colored walls. You saw a calendar and went there to see the date. You held your breath: the sheet was new, but it was from February 1984

🥀 So not only you traveled to a different universe, you also traveled back in time

🥀 The store was empty, but this didn’t bring you the relief you were expecting: the idea of being alone at night in a distorted reality was far too scary

🥀 As you walked through the corridors, you observed the racks and found the strangest things, from weird foods with even weider flavors, objects which use you couldn’t imagine and other things you were unable to identify.

🥀 Well, unlike you imagined, you weren’t really alone in that place: a voice called from the bottom of the place. It was a male, duplicated voice that spoke polite words in human language, but little it had to do with humanity

🥀 “Good evening, Miss. What can I do for you?”

🥀 You froze in your spot. The voice was talking to you. The person – or whatever was that – already saw you. What should you do next?

🥀 Since you didn’t give any verbal response, the voice spoke again

🥀 “Hey, it looks like you’re lost. Do you need help?”

🥀 In fact, you needed help, but you weren’t sure if you could seek for any help in there with an unknown being... Still, you decided to risk it. It wasn’t like you had many choices

🥀 “I do... I think I ended up in the wrong address, and I’d like to know how I get out of here”

🥀 You said those things while approaching the counter. When you realized what you were doing, you were already standing before it, staring at the voice’s owner

🥀 He was a man, or something like that: a humanoid individual dressed in the same style of the people you saw outside, but in his case it was the typical attendant uniform of the movies; he was taller than any human you’ve seen in your life, being able to touch the ceiling in case he raised his arms; his skin was of a dark shade of green, and most of the visible skin was covered in a discreet layer of even darker hair, and the same color was seen in the thick strands on his head. His eyes, resembling gold and contrasting with the green of his body, glowed under the neon lights when he laid them on you. You comforted yourself thinking it was just a gleam of curiosity

🥀 To be honest, you were curious about him too. First, it was obvious that he wasn’t wearing a costume: the green, the gold and all that hair were too real to deceive one’s eyes. Second, there was no way one could fake that height: you barely reached his chest. Besides, in the middle of that extraordinary situation, you realized you weren’t sensing any threat coming from him; you felt like you were in the presence of a common person, which only difference lied in his appearance. It was like a weird dream, except that you knew you were awake

🥀 He spoke for the third time, and you confirmed the origin of the voice. It vibrated inside you now that you heard it closer

🥀 “Yeah, I see you don’t belong here. I’d be scared if was you, too”

🥀 That was said in a playful tone, and you saw the long fangs on his mouth when he opened it to smile. You let out a nervous laugh

🥀 “I don’t understand what’s going on... I went to a convenience store near my place, but tonight things went... differently. And now I’m here”

🥀 The creature made a "Hm" and thought of this for a moment. The absence of confusion in his traits showed you that, apparently, the case wasn't as unusual to him as it was to you. And, in fact, his reply let it clear

🥀 "It used to happen more often in the past. It's been a while since the last person from your side ended up here, but it's no big deal. We don't know why or how exactly it happens, but sometimes you just cross the door without noticing. Usually they get scared when they realize they're lost, but you don't seem scared at all"

🥀 He approached the wooden board as to observe you from close. You were apprehensive, but didn't step back

🥀 "Still, I'm sure it's your first time here", he continued, "I don't remember seeing your face before"

🥀 You crossed your arms in front of your chest. That was your time to smile

🥀 "You always remember people's faces?"

🥀 “Not always, but the most interesting ones never escape my sight”

🥀 You spent a considerable time staring at him, measuring those words. Was that his way to say you were pretty or, at least, peculiar? What was even considered pretty in that place? Whatever the answer, the whole thing was unbelievable: a non human individual was flirting with you?

🥀 "Well, I think you haven't seen much people from my side, then", you commented, "I'm pretty common among my people. I don't think you'd remember me anyway"

🥀 The glow in his eyes came back, stronger as he leaned over the board. The fangs seemed to glow in his smile

🥀 "I work at a convenience store, dear. I've seen more people than you could count, and I'm telling you: my eyes and my memory work well together"

🥀 Your smile faded a bit, less because you didn’t know how to respond than by embarrassment. Your hand brushed your hair behind your war before you could stop it

🥀 "If you say so..."

🥀 Fortunately for you, he made you a favor and changed the conversation's direction

🥀 "So, since you're my only client at the moment, guess you can have my undivided attention. What do you need for tonight? Coke? Snacks? Something else?"

🥀 You laughed at the casual tone after such an intense dialogue about remembering faces

🥀 "I need something for a movie night. What do you have for me?"

🥀 "Tell me what you want"

🥀 "I want you to surprise me"

Tell me if you want Part 2!

#monster love #monster romance #monster lover #monster x human #monster x reader #monster boyfriend #monster x fem!reader #monster x female #slow burn #convenience store #monster fluff #monster imagine #monster stories

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gummydummy19 · 1 year ago

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A year in apartment 6B

Summary: You find an ad for your dream apartment and decide to give it a go. Apartment 6B is everything you've ever wanted: high ceilings, an open floorplan, and a 6ft4 grumpy army captain...

Warnings: (every chapter will have separate tags so please read those too!) fluff, angst, smut (holy trinity), grumpy Sy, roommates to lovers, slow burn, jealousy,...

A/N: Im so super duper excited about this!!!! I hope you guys enjoy it and please feel free to leave feedback anytime :) Some of these chapters might be regular fic length while others are gonna be just drabbles. If anyone has a request for this AU please let me know and I'll see what I can do :)) <3

apartment 6B floorplan

Month one (May): Moving into 6B

After finding your dream apartment in the paper, you decide to take the change and move in.

Month two (June): What dreams are made of

You have a very interesting dream about Syverson...

Month three (July): Letters to Juliet

You decide to write a letter to Syverson

Month four (August): Laundry day

You've been so caught up with work and stuff that you've gotten behind on your laundry....maybe you can borrow something from Sy's closet? just this once? What he doesn't know can't kill him, right?

Month five (September): Early bird

Sy comes home from his tour early.

Month six (October): Army nurse

Sy is too grumpy and proud to ask for help, so you do what needs to be done.

Month seven (November): shower me with love

Sometimes, a cold shower is needed.

Month eight (December): Sticky fingers (coming soon)

Sy notices some of his hoodies have gone missing. What on earth could you be doing with all those hoodies?...

Month nine (January): Night owl (Sy's POV)(coming soon)

Sy went out for drinks with his friends and comes home late.

Month ten (February): Date night (coming soon)

Your neighbor Mason from the apartment above you asked you out on a date...

Month eleven (March): baby, please don't go (coming soon)

Tension gets high in apartment 6B

Month twelve (April): a year in apartment 6B (coming soon)

It's been a year since you moved in and a lot has changed...

taglist;

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#gummydummy19 #a year in apartment 6B #captain syverson #fluff #fanfiction #smutty thoughts #henry cavill #smut #captain syverson moodboard #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson x you #captain syverson imagine #captain syverson fluff #captain syverson smut #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill characters #henry cavill fanfic

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clarisse0o · 3 months ago

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Camp Wiegman-Part 56

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, February 19; 3:00 PM -Alps

"Mom," I sighed again. "Do I really have to argue with you about this?"

"Why wouldn't you want to come home as well? I really expected you to visit."

"How many times do I have to repeat myself?" I replied with a weary tone. "I have an interview on Tuesday. We would have come after that, but all my friends are staying here."

"Yes, but..."

She started her sentence but quickly stopped to sigh in turn. I had been struggling with her for nearly fifteen minutes about our possible return to Barcelona. I knew it would be difficult to tell her we weren't coming, but I didn't expect it to be this hard. She seemed really upset.

"I would have loved to see you again... Plus, I'm a bit worried about letting Joan travel alone."

"Oh come on, it won't hurt him to manage on his own, don't you think? And it's not like we're never coming back to Barcelona. It's just that the end of this vacation isn't convenient for us."

"Yes, I understand..."

I rolled my eyes as I turned to lean against the railing of our small balcony. I had stepped outside to get some space. I didn't need Lucy hearing our conversation. Who knows how it could have gone. Surprisingly, it was going more calmly than I had imagined. Especially for a disagreement. She had never acted this way with me before. It's the first time she's trying to see me, and maybe that's why I'm not being as harsh for once. From this new angle where I positioned myself, I could see inside our room. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to move. Lucy was gathering our things, offering me a perfect distraction. It's our last day today, and we're leaving in the next hour... Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn. I would have loved to extend this vacation.

"I took a few days off, you know," my mother continued, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" I teased. "I can be stronger than you at this game, Mom. For instance, you've never taken a vacation for me before."

An awkward silence followed. I could almost feel her nervousness from here, and yet I hadn't even raised my voice this time. She knew I was right, and she must have been afraid that I would get angry. However, now that I think about it, I can't blame her. Our relationship was so shaky that she avoided taking vacations at the same time as me. It was better for everyone if we didn't want seven to fifteen days of door-slamming arguments.

"Alright, I get it," she sighed. "I give up, but do you think you could come back soon...?"

"I don't know. Probably. We'll make sure to come back over a weekend if you really want to see us. Has Lucy made such an impression on you or what?" I teased lightly.

"I love Lucy, but I'd also like to spend time with you."

I nervously bit my lip. Her words seemed sincere, but for some reason, I felt like there was something more behind them. She really insisted on my girlfriend's presence, which was very unsettling. My daydreaming was quickly interrupted by Lucy waving at me from inside to get my attention. It wasn't hard to understand that she was waiting for my help. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Listen, Mom, we'll come back, for sure, but it won't be next week. Just get a ticket for Joan. The best would be for Wednesday," I said, repeating what Lucy and I had agreed on.

"Alright... I'll let you know the times. You fly this route often, do you know someone who could take care of himS?"

"Yeah," I said without even thinking. "Ask Shay to take care of her. She's young, probably Lucy's age, very nice. I don't know if she'll be on that flight, but you can try."

"Okay, I'll see. Did you have a good vacation otherwise?"

"Really great. I'd love to keep chatting with you, Mom, but I need to gather my things, you see. Lucy will come looking for me outside if this goes on," I chuckled softly.

"Oh," she replied, embarrassed. "Sorry for keeping you..."

"No, don't worry. I'll call you when we get back to tell you all about it, okay?"

This conversation was getting stranger by the minute. I don't know where these words were coming from, but I felt compelled to say them given how she was behaving. One thing is certain, it does nothing to ease our awkwardness.

"Alright," she responded uncertainly. "Be careful on your way back."

"Promise. See you soon."

"Safe travels."

"Thanks. Bye, Mom."

The words slipped out again. I had never said "bye" to her at the end of a phone call before. I quickly hung up to avoid prolonging this strange and unusual conversation. I took a deep breath before heading back into the room. The first thing I did was take off my jacket. Lucy was no longer visible, but I understood she was in the bathroom from the noise coming from there.

"Did everything go well?" she asked me.

"Mm-hmm," I replied nonchalantly. "I don't want to leave," I added to change the subject.

"Oh, come on. Don't act like a child."

I relaxed, relieved that she was playing along by responding to the second part of my sentence instead of asking questions about what I had been doing outside. So I quickly continued in that direction.

"It was way too short."

"Are you done? Help me finish packing our things instead of complaining."

"Blah, blah, blah," I mumbled with amusement.

I smiled as her head peeked out from the doorway to give me a threatening look.

"I'm not kidding. Your clothes are still in the closet, so make sure to pack your suitcase."

"Yeah, yeah."

I rolled my eyes before turning my back on her. Looking her in the face right now could be regrettable for me. At the same time, it really was a perfect stay. It's the first time I've had such a hard time leaving. Yet, I tend to be the kind of person who loves returning home to find my routine after a trip. But today, I have to admit it's the opposite. Lucy was right again. I'm going to be the one making us late if I keep delaying our departure. With these thoughts, I started packing my suitcase as Lucy had asked. Everything was folded, so packing was easy. Then I tackled the nightstand, dumping what was left on it into my bag. I sighed at the same time, which made Lucy laugh in the next room.

"Aren't you done yet? Are you going to mope too?"

"Yes! Completely."

"Well, I guess I'll leave you here then."

"Hey!" I protested. "You wouldn't do that."

"Why not? You just confirmed that you'd be depressed if you left here, so you could stay here, right? That would solve your problem."

"But no," I complained. "You don't get it. I'll be even more depressed if you leave me here alone."

"Really?" she murmured in my ear, making me jump.

She placed her hand on my hip. I didn't expect her to be behind me when just a few seconds ago, she was talking to me from the bathroom. I glanced over my shoulder to see her little charming smile. When I tried to turn around, she held me back to pull me closer to her.

"So, I'm more important than a place, huh?"

"You know very well you are," I whispered. "You understood perfectly when I said I wanted to stay here. It meant with you."

"I didn't understand it that way, though," she teased lightly.

I closed my eyes as she placed her lips on my neck. My God, how I loved her kisses. Anywhere, as long as she gave them to me. She's the only one who can drive me crazy to the point of letting her touch me like this. I still can't figure out how she managed to fit so easily into my life, but she did. And damn, do I love it.

"You should..." I finally whispered.

"And why is that?" she murmured against my neck.

- Because. I don't want to go anywhere without you anymore...

I pause for a moment after saying this. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I was never someone clingy, and I definitely feel clingy saying this.

- I can't believe I just said that, I mutter out loud, making Lucy chuckle.

- But you did. It’s cute.

I take advantage of this moment to turn around and face her. She gives me a quick peck on the lips without adding any more comments that could make me uncomfortable.

- Alright, now that your little bout of depression is over, can we finish packing our things? I promise we’ll end our vacation just as well as we started it.

- I know, but it’ll be different. Not as... magical. We had our own little world here, you know?

- I can't argue with that... It’s true it will be different, but we have to return to the real world sooner or later.

I nod in agreement. It’s true, we’re really going back to reality. This last week of vacation will bring more work and responsibilities. It will start with the interview Lucy arranged for me, and then with my brother's arrival. I’m quite happy I won the battle against my mom. There was no way I was going to impose another long trip on us. Plus, after talking with the girls, I found out that Ale is staying in Manchester with Jenni, and Mapi already bought her ticket back for next weekend. Going back under those circumstances was out of the question. Having spent several weekends in Manchester before, this is the first time it’s happening. I can understand why my mom is worried about sending Joan, but he’ll only be traveling alone for one trip as we’ll make sure he returns with Mapi.

- Well, Lucy says, closing the suitcase. It’s time to head down. Are you done on your end?

- Yep.

I throw in the last of my things that I had in my hands before doing one last check. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s repacking when leaving. I always feel like I’m missing something. Fortunately, everything seems to be in order. I close my suitcase and join Lucy, who has already moved towards the door. I glance back one last time with a slight pang in my heart. I’m really going to miss this place. It was truly our little haven.

- Let’s go, Lucy murmurs.

I give her a sad smile and grab her hand. She shuts the door behind us, and we head downstairs. I’m surprised to see that we’re among the last to finish. I expected the others to take more time, considering this is the first time it’s happened. Usually, we’re among the first.

- I’ll go return the keys, Lucy tells me.

She steals a kiss before heading to the reception. I take the opportunity to join Alexia and Mapi, who seem to be having an animated conversation from where I’m standing. It looks like it’s the case, given how they greet me.

- There you are at last! Mapi calls out. We had an idea, Ale and I.

- Oh really?

- Yeah, she says proudly. Do you think Lucy will let you go for a night? We were thinking of having a girls’ night when we get back. Just the three of us, no girlfriends, nothing. Just us.

- Do you really think I would spoil the night by not wanting my presence, Mapi?

Once again, Lucy catches me off guard with her sudden appearance. The girls didn’t expect it either, judging by the looks on their faces. Since I told her what Mapi thought, this is the first time she’s made a remark that could suggest a reproach. Yet, I know they’ve talked. Neither of them wants to tell me what was said, but all I know is that things are better. They’ve settled their differences and know what they think of each other. I had pestered Lucy to be kind, and it seems she was. The most important thing is that their relationship has improved. It would be great if they didn’t take three steps back again. The comment had its effect on Mapi, as she gives me a disapproving look. She knows I told Lucy. At the same time, she should have known that was the case. A little cold sweat breaks out when she looks back at Lucy again. She almost seems embarrassed.

- It’s not that, it’s... Well-...

Her distress is evident in her eyes. Fortunately for her, Alexia comes to her rescue.

- We just wanted to have a night with friends, you see, Alexia interrupts. We’ve never had the chance to do one since we’re never together.

I bite my lip as I see Lucy raising her eyebrow seriously at Alexia’s intervention. Knowing her better now, I immediately relax. I was afraid she might react negatively, but I quickly realize she’s just teasing them. She often plays on her influence, and it’s very amusing to watch. I’ll never know how she manages to stay so serious every time. It’s something I could never do. Her serious expression slowly turns into a smile, making me burst out laughing.

- It’s fine, relax, Lucy finally laughs with me. Do you really think I’d stop her from going out? I’m not her mother, I’m her girlfriend, remember?

The girls’ faces are priceless. It’s funny that they always ask for Lucy’s permission. They still see her as my school chaperone. They haven’t yet understood that Lucy clearly distinguishes between the two relationships, and it will never be the case.

- But the night needs to be decided so we can plan, okay? Lucy adds while running her hand through my hair.

- Yes, Commander, I tease.

She rolls her eyes with a little smile.

- I’m going to Jenni’s, she finally says.

She kisses my cheek before heading off in her direction. I linger on her before turning back to the girls, who seem really uncomfortable.

- Forgive us, it’s just that we always feel like she’s the one calling the shots, Alexia apologizes first.

- I assure you, she lets me live my life fully, I giggle. If that wasn’t the case, I’d let her know.

- Okay, so when would be a good time for the girls’ night?

- Probably in the next few days. Joan is coming, so I’d rather avoid having him with us or leaving him with Lucy, I say with a shrug.

- Really? Joan is actually coming? You managed to call your mom?

- Just about. It was hard to convince her because she wanted us to come instead, but she finally agreed.

- That’s awesome! Alexia exclaims. So, you’re staying?

- Well, yeah, I laugh. We weren’t going to leave when you’re all here. Joan will probably come on Wednesday, but it would be best for us to have this girls' night over the weekend.

- We could do it tomorrow night. It’s Saturday. Saturday night is fun, right?

- Yeah, Alexia agrees. Jen told me she hasn’t done anything with Lucy in a while, so it’ll be a good opportunity for everyone to go out.

- We’ll check with them then, I say.

- Hey girls, are you coming? Beth calls out to us. It’s time to leave.

- It’s funny that it’s the latecomer calling us, Mapi jokes.

She nudges her playfully before they head off together, joining the others in laughter. It’s amazing how this trip has brought everyone closer. As for me, I’ve spent a lot of time with the four girls and Jenni. That girl is great, and I’ve learned some stories she shared about Lucy. It seems she was very protective of her and still will be if necessary. It’s good to know she’s surrounded like this, though I often wonder why. From what I know of Lucy, it’s hard to believe she needs it. Other than her, I’ve also talked a lot with Beth since she loves art, but also with Aitana during the evenings we spent together. Lucy was never far when one of her friends approached me, and I’m grateful for that. She has a good understanding of my anxiety, so I’m glad. Speaking of Aitana, she’s the last latecomer before we finally head out. We were very lucky with our cars. Since we barely used them these past few days, they were all covered in snow. Fortunately, the staff noticed and offered last night to clear them before our departure. Now that we’re in front of them, the result is really there. They’ve cleared everything, both on top and around. We decide to keep the same seating arrangements as on the way, which suits me perfectly.

- I’m still sad, I confess to Lucy while Jenni loads the car.

- We’ll come back, I promise, she chuckles.

- Hmm... But we might have to wait. Our next trip will be somewhere sunny.

- Are you going on vacation this summer? Alexia joins our conversation.

No. With the work at the gym, we won’t have time, Lucy replies. We’ll probably go to my parents' place during the next school holidays.

Lucy brought up this idea to me this week. I wasn’t particularly thrilled, but I couldn’t really say no. She had already met my mother, and she herself agreed to come back with me when I asked her. She admitted to visiting them twice a year: once during the end-of-year holidays and the second time during the summer vacation. Unfortunately, this year the second visit won’t be possible. Since she’s leaving her job to open her gym with Jenni, it goes without saying that they will have a lot of work on their plate this summer. When she told me about it, I expected her to say she wasn’t going. However, she promised them that she would come during the April holidays, so she can’t back out now. At first, I thought she just wanted to warn me about her departure, but in reality, I quickly realized that she wanted me to accompany her to introduce myself. I clearly panicked. It was sudden, and Lucy is older than me. Her parents must expect things different from mine. I don’t even know myself how we’re going to move forward after school, and I’m not in a hurry to find out, to be honest. All I want is to take my time. I was almost ready to say no to her, but she then explained that her parents have been worried since Keira’s death. Understanding Lucy’s desperate state, they had asked her to come back to Portugal, but Lucy categorically refused. She explained to me that she didn’t want to do that, that it would have been like taking ten steps back in her life. According to her, she had gained her independence by coming to Manchester and she had learned to love this city. It was because of this event that their project with Jenni truly came to life. If all this hadn’t happened, they would have waited before starting their own business. However, it was apparently the only thing that convinced Lucy’s parents to let her continue living in UK. Lucy managed to hide from them that she felt lonely and destroyed, and instead, she was determined to continue her new life. I felt bad hearing these revelations. I didn’t like knowing she was feeling so badly. Her solution to cope was Camp Wiegman. She confessed to me that it was her best way to heal. With this job, not only was she able to make money, but also, she managed to forgive herself for not being able to save Keira by helping other people in distress. It’s crazy that we could have met this way, but I’m so happy that her presence has been woven into my life.

- Yes, that’s exactly what I thought, that’s why I was asking, Ale continues with a smile. It’s cool if you can leave before! And where are you coming from then?

- From Portugal.

- You too? she wonders, knowing that I am too. Wow. Two Portuguese together, then, she giggles.

- Oh yes, Lucy laughs.

- It’s true that it’s a good idea to come back, Jenni says, closing the trunk. It’s been a long time since we did that with everything that’s happened.

- It was you who didn’t come back with me in December, Lucy replies. But if you want, you can come with us, Lucy offers. We will definitely leave the first week of the April holidays, but that remains to be confirmed.

- That would be cool! I agree. I would feel less alone, I joke.

- So yes. Know that Ona is really scared of meeting my parents, Lucy teases, making me blush.

I was panicking too. After what she told me, she never introduced someone after Keira. I can imagine that I would be the center of all their attention to ensure that I wouldn’t harm their daughter. In itself, I can’t blame them. I would have been the same and that’s what terrifies me.

- Well, at the same time, there’s a lot going on with Diane, Jenni laughs. Does she at least know that you have someone new in your life? It’s been a long time since you introduced someone to them.

- Since Keira, she murmurs. They don’t know about Ona yet, but I was planning to tell them over the phone in the next few days.

- I feel like you’re going to get a good scolding, she mocks. How long has it been since you called them? Knowing you, you’re still avoiding them like the plague, right ?

- Oh stop it. I avoid them much less than you avoid yours. I call them every weekend since... Well, every weekend except last weekend. She might have noticed that I’m hiding something from her, and I didn’t want to tell her about Ona right away. Anyway, did you know that your parents asked about you? she smiles amusingly at this news.

- Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, she grimaces. But with all the organization and everything, I was pretty busy. That’s why I’m saying that maybe I should go back there, she giggles.

- You’d better call them more often, she scolds.

- You’re not in a position to preach to me. Start by telling her about Ona. You should know that the sooner the better. They’re just waiting for you to come back with someone.

- Hum, hum, she rolls her eyes.

- Hey guys, Aitana calls out to us, interrupting. Are we good to go?

Yeah, we’re good, Jenni confirms. Let’s get going before we get yelled at again, she tells us with a little laugh.

- That would be the height of irony since we were always the first this week.

We laugh as we get into the car. As on the way, we take off our jackets to be more comfortable, and Jenni hurries to turn on the heater. After Jenni checks the other cars, she opens the road as it’s still us who have the GPS. I look back with a slight pang, but I forget it very quickly the moment Lucy rests her hand on my thigh.

- Anyway, in all this, Ona, I confirm that you have reason to worry, she jokes. Diane will be relentless with you, believe me.

- Hey, Lucy replies upon seeing my face. She’s already quite panicked like that. Don’t make it worse. I would have preferred if you reassured her.

- Do you want to know the truth? she asks me.

- Because that wasn’t the truth?

- Yes, she laughs. But what you really need to know is that Lucy’s parents are adorable deep down. They’re just worried about her, so they’ll simply make sure that you deserve her. To do this, you’ll certainly have to go through a very thorough questionnaire, and they’ll definitely check your background—

- Jenni! Are you out of your mind?

- What? We both know they’d be capable of that, she snorts. No, seriously Ona, knowing you, they’ll adore you once they get to know you, believe me.

Lucy sighs before resting her hand again on my thigh. Looking at her now, I almost feel like she’s more stressed than me about this meeting. Maybe if she wants to take me right away, it’s to do it as quickly as possible like Jenni said earlier? I won’t hesitate to ask her. Anyway, I would follow her to the other side of the world if necessary. She has already done so much for me, so I wouldn’t hesitate to return the favor. However, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m totally panicked and if it were up to me, I would have gone back to Barcelona to spend my days studying for my exam.

- Everything will be fine, OK? she finally tells me. It will be the rest of the world against the two of us, in any circumstance.

This sentence may be cliché—and I hate it so much—but coming from Lucy, it's just adorable. I link my hand with hers and bring it to my lips to kiss the back of it.

- I know, I murmur before taking a deep breath. Anyway, you’re going to come with us too, right? So maybe they’ll have other distractions since it seems like Jenni hasn’t come back in a long time.

My subject change ended up easing the atmosphere. We laugh under the groans of the driver of the car.

- The worst is that she’s probably right.

I smile, staring outside. After all, it’s not really a bad idea this vacation. I’m going to have to face her parents sooner or later, and I’m happy to return to Portugal. It’s been a while since I last set foot there, me too. I miss my country. Maybe I’ll ask her to stop in my city as well...

Friday, February 19; 9:30 PM - Manchester.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally exhausted. In a good way, of course. Since it was mealtime upon our return, we all stopped at a pizzeria again to grab a bite. It’s been about an hour since we ate, and we’re now chatting. Most of our conversations are about our stay. Unlike in the Alps, there’s no more snow here, but it has been transformed by rain. Lucy told me she got used to this city, but I still wonder how. Maybe the weather will warm up now. I blink several times to stay awake. I try to follow what’s being said while being completely slumped over Lucy. A little more and I’m lying on her.

- Do you want to go home? she whispers to me.

- Hum, hum.

I shake my head, sinking into her neck. I don’t want to ruin the evening because of me. Everyone still seems to have their heads in the living room. We've done so many things that there's a lot to talk about. Lucy kisses the top of my head, holding me close.

- We’re going to go home.

No, I mumble.

- "Yes, let's go home," she giggles. "I don't exactly want to carry you all the way to my apartment."

- "I'm fine," I mumble. "I'm not that tired..."

I try to sit up, but she firmly keeps me against her.

- "You're allowed to be tired, babe. We've had a long week."

I smile at the thought. We definitely had a long week. Between parties, hikes, and activities, I don't know where my head's at anymore. Lucy had promised we'd go sledding, and that's what we did yesterday on our last day. Afterward, we stopped by a chalet for hot chocolate and ended the evening in the pool. It was the perfect way to unwind one last time. I didn’t expect to be this exhausted, though. There were nights when we didn’t get much sleep, but I should be used to short nights by now.

- "Alright, everyone," Lucy says to the others. "Any volunteers to drive us home?" she asks.

- "We’ll take you," Jenni teases. "We’re falling asleep too."

Eventually, everyone agrees to head back. I was surprised to find out it was already nearing ten o'clock. Suddenly, I didn’t mind going home. I thought it was much earlier. I struggle to get up, barely managing to stay on my feet, which seems to amuse Lucy.

- "It’s not funny," I mumble with a small smile.

- "Do you want me to carry you?" she teases.

- "No, and stop mocking me," I complain.

- "Oh, by the way, we didn’t get a chance to talk about the girls' night," Mapi says, approaching us.

- "You can talk about it tomorrow. She won't remember anything tonight," Lucy laughs.

I groan again, giving her a gentle push. Bad idea. Not only does she barely move, but I also stumble. Without another word, Lucy lifts me into her arms, making me let out a small cry of surprise. It was the last thing I expected her to do after joking about it. I smile as I relax against her, no longer finding the strength to protest. It takes just a few minutes for sleep to take me.

Saturday, February 20; 3:00 PM - Manchester Supermarket.

I sigh for what feels like the hundredth time as I push the cart. Whose idea was it to do the shopping the day after a vacation? Especially on a Saturday. It’s packed with people. This isn’t exactly how I imagined getting back to normal life. At least I got a good ten hours of sleep last night... I could’ve easily slept ten more.

- "I’m sore all over."

- "Are you done complaining? You've been doing that since you woke up," Lucy teases.

- "I’m sleep-deprived. I don’t really understand why you volunteered us to do the shopping. The others volunteered too. We could’ve spent the day on the couch!"

I’m starting to think it was a mistake to agree to this evening so soon. I should have known that with Mapi, everything would need to be meticulously organized, and that’s exactly what happened. This morning, during breakfast, she called me bright and early. Before her call, Lucy had confessed that she wanted to bring it up last night, but I fell asleep before she could. Mapi didn’t hesitate to remind me, teasing me about it. I laughed it off, so I can't really be mad at her. It’s something that’s never happened to me before. Then again, we didn’t get much rest during the vacation. We scheduled the girls’ night for tonight. I would have preferred to move it to tomorrow, but Lucy and her friends will be heading to The United while I’m out.

- "I’m starting to think I should have let you sleep in that restaurant last night instead of carrying you. And to think I said I wouldn’t do it."

I gasp, lightly hitting her arm.

- "It’s not my fault I was completely exhausted. You would’ve dared?"

- "Hmm... I would have if you were acting like you are now. You wanted this girls' night tonight, so own it."

- "Listening to you, it sounds like you're not too thrilled about it."

- "Don’t put words in my mouth," she sighs.

- "Then what? Are you going to say it’s my fault again? I consulted you, and we didn’t really have a choice since you’re also going out to your bar."

- "That’s not what’s bothering me right now."

- "Then what? Are you going to blame me for agreeing to a girls’ night? Did you not want me to?"

I ask, feeling a bit panicked. What if that’s it? I barely consulted her, but she said it was fine yesterday. At least, it seemed like tonight worked for everyone since she’ll be out with Jenni and Ingrid while I’m with the girls.

- "Of course not. It’s not about the night out. It’s you making a fuss about these groceries that’s irritating me. That’s all."

- "Well, the others could’ve handled it. Mapi and even Ale offered to help."

- "We needed some groceries anyway. Besides, Jenni’s going to start working solo on our room, so I owe her since she’s already doing a lot. And as for the other two, I don’t trust them with the shopping list. You know what I mean?"

I swallow the words I was about to throw at her. I’m such an idiot sometimes. I should know by now that most of her decisions are well thought out.

- "Sorry," I mumble. "I get it now, but I was just expecting we’d spend the day on the couch, so I’m frustrated."

- "It’s fine, I know. We’ll have time for that too. I promise, babe."

- "Yeah, well, I’m afraid we won’t have much time left, you know? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a chance to relax?"

- "Are you going to tell me you regret last week?" she challenges, raising an eyebrow.

- "Of course not... Alright, have you finished contradicting me just to change my mind?"

Lucy laughs as she continues filling the cart that I’m pushing. Some of it’s for us, and the rest is for tonight, as she mentioned earlier. We’re staying at Jenni’s apartment, so we needed to buy stuff since she’s low on supplies too. We decided to make pizza, so we bought what we needed, as well as some drinks. In the end, I’m glad we’re taking care of it. At least I know what we’re buying, and if it helps the others out, then all the better.

- "Nope. It’s actually pretty funny," she teases with a small smile. "Anyway, how about we grab some things for a movie night tomorrow, hmm?"

I was about to pout, but Lucy knows just how to talk to me to avoid that, it seems. I nod enthusiastically.

- "That sounds tempting, for sure."

- "We can finally finish the Harry Potter series after all this time."

- "You’re the best."

- "Alright, let’s finish these groceries then. We’re almost done."

Now that I look into the cart, I realize that Lucy had already started picking up stuff for tomorrow. I smile, amazed at how she always manages to distract me. It’s incredible.

- "Hey, you’re not really mad at Mapi, right?"

- "Why do you ask? I thought everything was settled."

- "I thought so too. It was just a question based on your remark yesterday. She blamed me for talking to you," she giggles.

- "Oh. I was just joking. I thought you guys understood that."

- "I did. I just wanted to make sure now that we’re alone."

- "Mapi is your friend, Ona. Like I said before, we’ve settled our differences. As long as she stays honest with you, I’ll appreciate her."

- "Even if she makes me drink tonight?"

- "Well, I’d rather not talk about that."

I laugh, knowing exactly what she’s thinking. She really doesn’t like it when I drink. Keira must have really left a mark on her in that regard.

- "I’m kidding. I promise it won’t be a wild night. Alexia didn’t seem to want that, and with what you picked out, I doubt we’ll get drunk."

I say, glancing into the cart. There are mostly beers, two bottles of low-alcohol liquor, and some soft drinks. I don’t think we’re at risk of getting drunk with this.

"And what do you plan to do tonight? Do you have any plans yet? »

My smile widens. She just can’t help but be curious. Even though she told me this morning, and just repeated, that she didn’t want to know anything about tonight.

- "I have no idea. We’ll probably talk a lot. Anyway, you’ll be looking for me tonight, so there’s no risk of anything happening to me, right?"

- "Don’t be so sure. If I find you drunk, I’ll make you run beside the car on the way home to burn off the alcohol."

I burst out laughing. The craziest part is that she really would do it.

- "Well, we’ll try to avoid that, huh?"

- "It’s up to you to avoid it, sweetheart," she replies with a wink. "Come on, let’s check out. When we get home, we can prepare the room for your brother, get the snacks ready, and finally relax. I’m starting to get tired too."

- "It’s about time," I giggle.

- "What can I say? I guess I have more stamina than you," she teases.

- "Yeah, well, not all of us are as athletic as you," I retort with amusement.

- "True," she smiles. "But even the best can get tired."

- "What nonsense! I never said you were the best."

- "I don’t need you to say it. I know it myself, and that’s enough," she boasts.

I laugh, giving her shoulder a gentle push. Her smile widens, making mine grow too. She’s joking when she says that, but she probably doesn’t realize how true her words are. She’s such an amazing woman, and I feel like she doesn’t even see it. I can’t wait to get home and hibernate on the couch with her.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #ona batlle #barca femeni #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze

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pompomnium · 5 months ago

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THE NOTORIOUS SCARLETT & BROWNE

An e-book version was also released just recently! I'm soooo happy because I've been waiting for the e-book ever since it was released in paperback in February! Finally, I can read Notorious anywhere.

The paper book has a so cute binding, but it's heavy... It's good for reading at home, but not for reading on the go. But from now on, no problem!! What will happen to them in volume 3? Mr.Stroud is reporting progress on Instagram, so I'm assuming it will be released by the end of the year. I still don't read English well, but I can't wait for it to be translated, so I'll read it as soon as it's released.

#the notorious scarlett and browne #fanart #scarlett and browne

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bisonaari · 4 months ago

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Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

#käärijä #bison talks #long post #finland #suomi #sorry I'm such a sap hahaha #it took me like three hours to write this post lol

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tripleaxeldiaz · 1 year ago

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I haven't had real free time to write in like 10 months, but now i almost do, and i forgot i was writing this in february and idk if i'll ever finish it so here's what i have of it so far secondary title is "eddie pines harder than a douglas fir"

It happens quickly. That’s what scares Eddie the most.

One minute he’s in his truck, Chris in the backseat, all their worldly possessions secured in the bed, whizzing past a “Welcome to California!” sign in search of something better than what they left in the rearview mirror.

He blinks, and he’s in the locker room of Station 118, fresh out of the academy, being greeted by smiling faces and one blonde haired, blue eyed sneer.

He blinks again, the sneer has softened into an easy grin, and he and Buck work together like they were built for it, like their lives were always going to bring them to a place where they would be running into smoldering, crumbling buildings side by side. Buck drives him and Chris home after the earthquake, and Eddie struggles to remember the last time anything felt this easy.

Blink

Shannon is back. Any ease he found evaporates, and the walls he built around his feelings for her come crumbling down in her wake.

Blink

He’s in the back of an ambulance feeling her pulse stop under his fingertips.

Blink

He’s off probation, surrounded by friends and family applauding his accomplishment. He’s grinning on the outside, but inside he’s still a mess of grief and guilt. He wants to be as proud of himself as his parents claim they are, wants to stop seeing Shannon on the gurney every time he closes his eyes, wants to be happy, wants peace, wants, wants, wants —

Buck’s laugh erupts from across the room, still loud and free flowing despite the month he’s had, and Eddie wants so hard it almost takes him out at the knees. It’s like time stops, the flurry of actions and emotions constantly trying to engulf him comes to a brief standstill, and as the sound of Buck’s joy washes over him, he feels like he can breathe for the first time in months. Everything seems clearer, Buck’s smile is making the room even brighter, and Eddie thinks he might—

No. It’s too soon. Way too soon.

Isn’t it?

It took him over a year to feel it with Shannon, even though he said he did much earlier. Danny Miller was his best friend for five years before he started feeling that swoop in his stomach that was decidedly beyond friendship. And he and Buck are just friends — best friends, he’d argue, but just friends all the same. Buck has a girlfriend, Eddie just became a widower, and there’s so much going on in his head that everything’s getting shuffled and confused and firing off in all the wrong directions.

Because there’s no way. There’s just no way.

And even if there is a way (which there isn’t), Eddie would rather go through basic training in the sticky heat at Fort Benning all over again than ruin his friendship with Buck. That is something they can build to last, that is what the two of them need the most from each other.

That is something that Eddie cannot screw up.

The other thing, which Eddie refuses to name because there’s just no way, has already shattered his and Chris’s world once. He won’t let those pieces break again.

So he does what he does best — he takes every unnerving, premature feeling he has, squashes it into a box in his head labeled Do No Open Ever for Any Reason and shoves it as far away as he possibly can. Just in time, too, because he blinks one last time and Buck is in front of him, backlit by sunshine like a goddamn angel, whole and safe and alive. His smile is even brighter up close, and Eddie feels himself pulled toward him like second nature, like he really is the sun and Eddie’s helpless to do anything but fall into his orbit until they’re both taken out in a supernova.

He worries that that box may not be sturdy enough to contain all that light and energy.

He lets himself sink a little further into the hug anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Dad?”

Chris is squished against his side, the lights from the TV flashing across his face and reflecting in his glasses. Eddie had been a mess of emotions all day, but he’d just about cracked completely when Chris voluntarily left the pinball machine to join Eddie in an armchair and watch The Year Without a Santa Claus like they do every Christmas. It used to be easy — Chris cocooned in his lap, tucked safely under his chin — but this year feels like the first year Eddie’s really noticed how big Chris is, all lanky limbs and hardly any space to put them in an armchair meant for one, not a grown man and a constantly growing boy.

It’s a tight fit now, and Eddie can feel pins and needles start to creep up his arm, but he couldn’t care less. He’ll let every part of his body go numb if it means his kid will want to keep sitting with him.

He shifts a bit, looking down at Chris “Yeah bud?”

“Can we do Christmas here again next year?”

Eddie wraps his arm around Chris a little tighter. “I think we’ll probably be at home next year, but I’m sure we can pop by and visit.”

“Okay,” Chris says, content for barely a minute before he asks, “Will Buck be at home with us too?”

It’s shocking, really, that Chris doesn’t feel how hard Eddie’s heart lurches where his head is laid on his chest.

And of course, because the universe loves making his life harder, Buck looks up at them from across the loft at that exact moment, a crooked grin to match his crooked Santa hat, and waves before taking his turn at the pool table. Pair that with the wave of gratitude that hits him as Chris waves back, and he feels like he’s in his own damn Christmas movie, mistletoe and twinkle lights and everything.

He is grateful to Buck, though. So grateful he’s worried he’ll never be able to express it properly no matter how hard he tries. And not just for keeping Chris safe, or for wading through water and blood to find him, but for everything he did after too. Dinners brought over or made in their kitchen. Hours of board games and video games. Movie nights with buttery popcorn and every blanket they owned piled up on the couch. It was hard at first — there were days when Chris didn’t want to talk to either of them, where Buck’s smile wouldn’t quite reach his eyes, where all Eddie could hear when he looked at Buck was the crack in his voice when he swore that he tried.

Eddie knows he tried. He knows he ran himself into the ground trying to bring Chris back to him, and he knows he would do it again with no hesitation if he needed to.

It all makes Eddie—

—appreciate—

—Buck, more than he ever thought he could—

—appreciate—

—another person.

And it’s enough to make staticky fear prickle in his chest when he remembers that one day — potentially any day now — Buck will find someone who appreciates him in every way he deserves, and Eddie will get another harsh reminder from the universe that somethings are just not meant for him.

But it’s Christmas, and as both Chris and the Grinch like to remind him, there are no sad faces on Christmas. So for today, he can let himself watch Buck play pool and…appreciate. Appreciate Buck’s biceps that can hit cue balls dead on and wrap Chris in a hug on a particularly bad day, the lean lines of his back carry the weight of so much more than Eddie wants them to, the blush settled high on his cheekbones that looks good enough to—

“Dad. Are you listening to me?”

Eddie does not jump at Chris’ voice.

At least not very high.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Chris rolls his eyes so dramatically it makes Eddie want to laugh and cry all at the same time. “I said will Buck be at home with us on Christmas next year?”

The universe once again laughs in his face as Buck bounds towards them, cutting through the loft to greet Maddie and Chim at the top of the stairs. As he passes behind their chair, he squeezes Eddie’s shoulder, fingers brushing along the back of his neck before ruffling Chris’s hair. It’s small and easy, but it turns Eddie to jelly as he pictures a lifetime of warm touches and warmer smiles and a life full of—

Chris waves his hand in front of his face, still waiting for his answer.

Eddie has got to reel in his…appreciation-struck imagination.

“I hope he is, bud,” he says finally, resting his chin on top of Chris’s head and not staring longingly at Buck’s back. “I really hope he is.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It never gets easier, getting shot. It’s not a sensation your body can get used to that will eventually filter to the back of your mind. It’s a miracle that the human body can come out on the other side — if it comes out on the other side — and forget the excruciating, all-consuming pain that is lead ripping through flesh and muscle and bone at 1,700 miles per hour.

Eddie’s already lived through that pain once — he thought he left the chances of it happening again 7,000 miles and a lifetime away.

But here he is, on a sunny L.A. boulevard, his shoulder burning white hot in a way that is somehow familiar and brand new all at the same time.

He hits the ground, and it’s asphalt instead of sand. He looks ahead of him and sees Buck in his civvies instead of Mills in her fatigues.

Nothing makes sense.

Everything hurts.

(to be continued maybe idk)

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #ficcery #i actually don't hate it now that i'm reading it back so maybe it will get finished!!

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bookshelf-dust · 2 years ago

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how people can change

steve harrington x gn!byers!reader

word count: 4,427

warnings: swearing, like one use of y/n, mentions of season one steve's bullshit, mentions of death, enemies to friends to more type beat

a/n: my very first *full* steve fic. look at us. who woulda thought? not me. i've been working on this since february. don't look at me, i know. i know. but i think i've gotten some sort of hold on how i'd like to write steve. some of the dialogue (season 2) isn’t mine. (also the title is a lyric from strange by celeste!) let me know what you think, okay? i love you. steve loves you. don't tell me if it's bad.

————

November 1984

The door slams behind you with a deafening thud, and you take the extra five seconds to lock it. You know, that action no one else in your family seems to be capable of performing.

The house is quiet, and you step over the map of Hawkins sprawling over the hardwoods, careful not to damage Will’s work.

Your keys clang against the table, knocking into your mother’s ashtray. It’s dead quiet again, and you freeze at a subtle interruption in the silence. There’s a muffled sound coming from somewhere else in your home, and frankly you’ve had enough of everything the last couple of days. Which is why Joyce sent you home to get some sleep, to clear your head.

There’s no denying that you have a soft spot for Will. He’s always been your buddy. And you love Jonathan, you do, and he’s got this sick ability to know what you’re thinking or feeling before you do, but he doesn’t need your protection like Will does.

Will is your best friend. And he’s got one hell of a support system with you, Jonathan and your mom behind him. He deserves the world. You’ve always thought that.

You quickly infer that it’s a walkie making the sound, based on the staticky crackle, the slightly muffled voice of whoever’s trying to get through from the other side.

Yours is off—you know it is—so it has to be Will’s. Jonathan was too good for a walkie-talkie.

You step down the hallway, pushing your younger brother’s bedroom door the rest of the way open. You scan the small area for it, listening.

“Code red! This is a code red! I repeat, this is a good red! Shit, is anyone there?”

You snatch up the device, extending the antenna.

“Dustin? Is that you?”

“Jesus christ! Where have you been?” Dustin exclaims, and you swear you can hear someone else interfering with his words.

“Sorry! I wasn’t home. What’s wrong?” You sit on the edge of Will’s bed. It’s so much comfier than yours.

“It’s Dart! He’s, he’s just…you know what? It’s a long story. Where are you right now?”

This time you definitely hear another voice, and maybe even music.

“Dart? You kept him, right? I fucking knew it, Henderson! You’re so not a good liar.”

“That’s for sure.” You can’t place the voice, not over the walkie and over Dustin’s rambling, but you do catch that and it’s enough to leave you curious.

The boy starts to argue back, but you cut him off. “Dustin, who are you with?”

“Uh,” he coughs, “Well you see, um…Steve Harrington. I’m with Steve Harrington.”

Dustin gets a severe eye roll from said partner-in-crime, but he brushes it off.

“What?” You’re so confused. How did that even happen?

“I know! But everyone’s been MIA!”

“Oh my god,” you say, and Dustin can practically see you face-palming.

“Look,” he shoves a handful of rogue curls back under the brim of his hat. “Can you just meet up with us? The old junkyard?”

You push off of Will’s bed, and start walking through the house again, retrieving your things. So much for a nap or eating anything other than hospital Jell-O. What are you gonna say? Fuck no?

“Yeah, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank god,” Dustin breathes. “See you then. Over.”

You make sure to check the batteries in Will’s walkie before you go, and then you’re back in your car again, backing out just as aggressively as your mother (something you said you’d never do).

————

“Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. You tell anyone I just told you that, and your ass is grass you’re dead, Henderson. Do you understand?”

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

Dustin goes quiet for a minute, watching each step he takes. The train tracks are old, and there are one too many loose nails for his liking. “So what’s Y/N got against you, man?”

Steve adjusts one of the gloves he’s wearing, trying not to think about the fact that he’s gonna smell like raw meat for who knows how long. “Uh, I don’t know, exactly. Never really talked to them before. But I’d assume it’s the–”

“The assholery?” Dustin interrupts.

“Dude.”

“What? It’s true.”

“No, yeah, you’re right.”

Dustin catches the slip in Steve’s attitude almost immediately. “Hey, they’re good, okay? I don’t think you’re a total dick, if that means anything. You’re trying and that’s what matters, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, we will. Thanks, Henderson.”

Dustin gives Steve a winning smile. This kid could rule the world, he thinks.

“Anytime,” Harrington. He lifts his hand up, awaiting a fist bump that Steve returns without a second thought.

————

You wander down the trail of raw meat you’ve found, not bothering to even question what's happening or where the meat came from. Frankly, you don’t really want to know.

At the end of your path, you catch a glimpse of familiar curls, even if they are crushed under the red brim of a hat.

“Dustin?”

The boy practically gives himself whiplash turning around to face you.

“Holy shit, I’m so glad you’re here. It’ll be nice to have someone older than me who’s not a total pain in the ass.”

“Hey, I heard that.”

The voice pulls your attention away from Dustin. When you look up, Steve Harrington is walking out of the biggest vehicle in this abandoned lot: a school bus. He’s wiping his hands on his jeans and pushing the ends of his sleeves up.

Dustin looks at you. “You guys have to be acquaintances at the least, right?”

You nod at him, feeling your face burn. If there’s a word for a less-than-acquaintance, you don’t know it. But that’s probably where your relationship with this boy lies. King Steve isn’t really someone you just miss.

But yeah, you know him. You know he’s a dick.

“Hi.” Steve pushes his sunglasses up into his hair and crosses his arms.

“Hi.”

You only look at him for a moment before your eyes are back on Dustin. The younger boy notices the tension radiating from you, and honestly, he gets it. Steve Harrington wasn’t exactly the person he’d planned on spending his day with, but here he was. Desperate times call for desperate measures or whatever.

“So what are we doing?” You ask.

Dustin puts his thumbs underneath the straps of his backpack, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little. “It’s a long story. Best if we talk while we work.”

You roll your eyes at him, but follow the thirteen-year-old wherever he wants to go. You’re not sure you could deny Dustin Henderson anything.

————

You watch as Max, a young girl you’ve just met, stomps up the steps of the ladder you’ve rigged inside the mess of a bus that you’re camped out in.

Your chest aches because what Dustin just said to her was rude, it was rude, and you can’t believe the two of them. You sit, arms crossed and leg shaking up and down, glaring at Steve.

You find it hard to believe that after everything you’ve learned tonight, about Dart, about Mews—which you’re never going to get over because you only visit Dustin’s house for his cat, never him—that this is what they’re doing now.

“That’s good,” Steve says. “Just show her you don’t care.”

Dustin is pacing, hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t,” he breathes.

Steve winks. Watching the two of them is like watching a tennis match. You don’t even like tennis.

“Why are you winking, Steve?”

You drag your hand down your face, sick of hearing this stupid ass conversation. When Dustin sits, the constant clink of metal where Steve keeps flicking his lighter open over and over starts to give you a headache.

“Fuck, Steve, would you quit it already?”

He scoffs, snapping the lid to his Zippo closed harder than he had been before. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re pissing me off, that’s my problem.”

Steve’s brow furrows. He doesn’t really understand the sudden need for aggression.

“Is this really the time for you to be yelling at me?”

“Is this really the time for you to be a dick?”

Dustin jerks the antenna on his walkie down, clearly sick of the two of you. “Would you children stop bickering? This is a life or death situation we have going on here.”

“I’d prefer death,” you proclaim.

Dustin glares at you. “I can arrange that if you’d really rather die, than act civil for one evening.”

“I think all of the civility,” you gesture vaguely with your hands, “went out the window when you asked me to come help fight demo-dogs.”

Steve snorts at your words, and you glare at him, an “oh, is that funny?” look on your face.

Dustin rearranges the hat on his head, stuffing his curls underneath it once again. “Alright. I’m gonna go check on our status, you two…work shit out, okay?”

“Dude,” Steve starts, “I’m older than you. I don’t have to listen to your instructions.” He gestures vaguely with his hands.

Dustin flips him off, and that’s the only response Steve receives, leaving the two of you alone in the bus.

You remain quiet, hoping that if you do you might just disappear or dissolve into the cracked leather of the seat you're sitting on. Then there really wouldn’t be any form of confrontation.

Steve starts flipping the lid to his Zippo open and shut repeatedly again, but this time it doesn’t annoy you. In fact, it gives you something to focus on, and you know that if you had one you’d be doing the same exact thing.

You wonder if he’s nervous. Or just bored.

Your knee begins to bounce when you realize that he’s looking at you, that he’s stopped messing with the lighter. But you refuse to look back, staring instead at the way the moonlight glints off of the metal in between his fingers.

“So what’s your problem with me?”

The way Steve says those words is so unlike the way he’s spoken the rest of the day, the way he’s behaved with Dustin, that you feel a pang in your chest.

He sounds like he used to.

“Did you even hear that? How conceded you just sounded? Like it’s funny that I might have a problem with you, king Steve?”

Obviously the use of his nickname hits a nerve. He shoves the lighter back into his pocket and sits up, tucking his hands under his knees.

“Would you just cut the shit and tell me what your problem is then?”

You sit up, matching his stance. There’s a part of you that wants to piss him off. You ache for it.

“You’re a dick, that’s my problem.”

Steve scoffs.

“That’s it? Like I don’t already know that?”

You roll your eyes, oblivious to the fact that all three of the younger kids you’re with have their heads hung over the escape latch in the top of the bus, listening eagerly.

“You think I’m just gonna put up with you, Harrington? I’m sorry, did you forget the slut shaming you and your shitty friends did publicly last fall? Because I sure as hell didn’t. I didn’t forget that you walk around like you fucking own the entirety of Hawkins because you’re swimming in daddy’s money. I didn’t forget that your girlfriend took my best friend away from me.”

You stop, and Steve just looks at you. You realize how heavy you’re breathing and subconsciously watch the steady movement of his chest, trying to match the pace and calm down. You hadn’t meant to get worked up like that. But sometimes…sometimes shit just happens.

Steve sighs. Honestly he feels a little sick. And he could argue with you some more, say that you don’t know what you’re talking about, that that’s the past, that he’s getting better. But that feels shallow. It feels meaningless. Because he knows it’s true. That in worrying about only himself or getting the girl or impressing whoever, he hurt loads more people than he realized.

It’s such bullshit, he thinks. This life he’s been living.

“You know, I’ve gotten plenty of earfuls about my actions from Dustin, I promise you that much. He can be very mean.”

You snort, considering there’s absolutely no denying that. “He’s a smart kid.”

Steve nods. He’s trying to think of a way to respond. He’s not good with words.

“Look, I-I know I’m a dick, okay?” he starts. You decide to be brave and look at him. He seems to like that. The eye contact. It’s like it lets him know you’re paying attention. He doesn’t get a lot of that, not away from school.

“The thing with Nancy,” he gestures with his hands, looking away from you and at the wall of the bus, like it hurts him to talk about or something. “I don’t know. My solution to not getting what I wanted was apparently to take it out on her. Tommy H. proposed the idea, and I didn’t stop it.”

“You know I cleaned it off, right?” he continues.

You uncross your arms and sit up, criss crossing your legs instead. “No. I didn’t know that.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I broadcasted the information across Hawkins. Tommy and Carol don’t even know.”

Oh. The fact that they didn’t know tells you that he did it without needed recognition. He did it because he wanted to.

“I just—she saw it. And then there was the whole thing…”

You start to grin before you catch yourself, but he sees it.

“It’s okay, you can laugh. I got the shit beat out of me.”

“You deserved it.”

He can’t argue with that. He won’t argue with it. “You’re right. I did. I said and did a lot that day that I regret.”

You nod, and then you’re both just looking at one another. It’s quiet out here, the same quiet you get at home, where you can hear the crickets, where you know there will be lightning bugs in the warmer months, free to roam uninterrupted by human activity.

Steve pushes his hair from his forehead, and though he sees you track the movement of his hand, he doesn’t point it out.

“What did you mean about your friend?”

If you’re being honest with yourself, you hadn’t intended for that to come out, but being in such close proximity to Steve in this moment had just made everything spill out.

You try to wave him off. “That was a whole thing. I didn’t mean to spill my guts like that.”

“No, it’s okay, I want to know. If you want to tell me, that is.”

You nod, chewing at your thumb nail now. Steve has the urge to reach forward and pull it free so you won’t hurt yourself, but he doesn’t. Instead he stays still and quiet, watching you contemplate a while.

Eventually he decides to keep going.

“I’m trying, you know,” he tells you. You look up and it gives him that little push to continue speaking. “To be better. I know you think I’m a total dick, and you’re not wrong, I know that, but I really am trying to be better. To be a good influence on those little shits.” He quirks his head upwards where he knows all three of his charges are eavesdropping, without a doubt.

You take a second and look at him. Really look at him. He seems to carry himself differently, though it’s not something you’d notice if you weren’t looking. He’s not dressed like his mommy picked out his outfit. He looks messy. The mess draws you in.

“I believe you. And I-I know I shouldn’t stereotype you, but it’s just—”

“I am a walking stereotype,” Steve grins. So do you.

“Yeah. I guess so. But I believe that you’re working on it. I suppose some people don’t remain assholes forever.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, though a little distracted. You still haven’t told you what you meant, but that’s not what’s really bugging him.

There’s this pull inside him. This longing for a friend. A real friend. Not someone he knows just because their dads were up each other's asses, or someone he just sits with at lunch because they’re of the same status quo.

And he just feels so alone right now. What with Nancy, this girl he thought he was in love with and everything, but clearly she doesn’t feel the same. What’s he even supposed to do with that? Did he ever actually know anything about her?

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that he’s sitting here with you, hanging out with thirteen-year-olds and hiding from creatures Steve’s brain can’t even begin to decipher.

“Barb,” you say. Steve panicked a little internally at the mention of her name, considering. But he keeps his eyes on you, focused on each word that leaves your mouth. “She was my best friend, in middle school that is.”

He nods. Oh. Oh.

“We were still close when we got to high school, had a little group and everything, right? And even though high school kinda fucks everything up, I didn’t want to believe that would happen to our little partnership, you know?”

He nods again, trying his best to pay attention. He’s trying harder than he ever has in school. He probably shouldn’t ever say that out loud.

“Anyways, she was my best friend. She was all I knew, and then we got to lovely Hawkins High, and she met Nancy. Nancy and I never really clicked, even when we tried. I guess it’s because I’ve always thought she was a pretentious bitch—sorry, Steve—but I don’t know. We just fell apart after that.”

“So Barb had Nancy and I had…no one. And the way my brain saw it was Nancy took my best friend from me, and then Nancy started seeing you, and so I saw those two from across the cafeteria, lounging with the popular kids. With you. And then she died.”

Steve is looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. Like he’s in awe of you. And it’s not anything negative. It’s warm. Understanding. Like something you’ve said has straightened something out in his brain, sorted something he couldn’t figure out on his own.

“S-so it was like we took her from you, in a way?” he asks.

“Yeah. And you didn’t. God, you didn’t. But it just felt like this…” you trail off, searching for the right words.

“Domino effect?”

“Yeah! Yeah. Exactly. And it’s not your fault, not at all. But I guess I already saw you as some dickish rich kid and that gave me another reason to stay the fuck away from you. And now that I’m saying it out loud I realize how awful it sounds because people change, you know?”

“No, I get it. I’ve been an asshole, and I’m sure I still am—Dustin can attest to that—but there are rich assholes that don’t change or probably won’t ever change. I know a few of them.”

You go quiet again. Steve doesn’t want you to stop talking. He’s starting to think he likes the sound of your voice.

“It’s good that you’re changing, Steve. I’m sorry I said you were such a dick.”

A breathy laugh leaves his throat. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m sorry for…everything.”

“Maybe we can make a truce or something. Start over. It’s not like we really know each other that well anyhow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s cool. Whatever you want.” He means that. He thinks he’d do whatever you wanted him to.

“Okay. Maybe we can just try and figure it out.”

“I’d like that,” Steve says. He stops himself from proclaiming that he wants to try and fix this with you. Because you’re listening to him. You’re not mad. He doesn’t want you to disappear on him after this.

You give him a small smile and he swears he might cry. Not that that feeling lasts.

“Hey!” Dustin is leaning down into the bus, hands clasped together. “I’m so glad we’ve got this handled, but we’ve got a code red, so let’s get this show on the road, yeah?”

————

June 1985

The door to the back room swings open, a frazzled boy rushing in. You drop your candy wrapper on the table, and Robin keeps talking about the girl that you missed coming in this morning. She was “such a babe.”

“Hello?” Steve stands in front of the both of you, hands on his hips. You have to fight back a laugh.

Your eyes find Steve’s immediately, and you swear they soften, but maybe you’re imagining it. You nudge Robin’s leg where your foot is propped up on one of the supports under her chair.

She stops flailing and looks up, seeing Steve’s hand raised where he’d been about to snap to get her attention. She quirks a brow. “Don’t you snap at me, Harrington! This is important shit.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Could you two come and help me? I’m dying out here!”

It’s one of the hottest days of the year, and Scoops has had a line since it opened at ten.

You look at your watch. “My shift doesn’t start for…fifteen minutes.” He rolls his eyes at you, though the gesture is void of any malice it could possibly hold.

“Yeah, well this is supposed to be my break, so get out there, Buckley!”

She stands, though she’s pouting. “Come on.”

“You took the job,” he says, shoving her through the door. Robin gives him a look that you can’t see, but you can practically feel it from across the small room.

Steve lets out an exaggerated sigh, ripping off the hat he’s been wearing and throwing it on the table in front of you.

You watch him rummage through a bag before he emerges from its depths with a banana and throws himself down in the chair across from you, lifting your leg up from where you’d moved it to occupy the seat Robin had abandoned. His hand is warm on the bare skin of your calf, and he shifts the chair some, laying your leg across both of his.

“Steve.”

“Huh?” He peels the banana, aggressively fast actually, and rips off a chunk, popping it into his mouth.

“Why do you have a banana?”

He meets your eyes. “Snack, duh.” He chews, and then gestures at the closed window. “Been working up a sweat out there I think I deserve a break.”

You grin at him, and he feels like he might hit the floor.

“Want some?” Steve pulls off a chunk and holds it out to you.

“Did you wash your hands?”

He gasps, mid-chew, and forces himself to swallow. “D-did I—yes, I washed my hands, mom, I’m not four.”

“Eh,” Robin’s voice breaks your little bubble. She’s pulled the window open–that way she can eavesdrop– propping herself up on her elbows.

That makes you laugh, and when you smile your cheek is full of banana and Steve swears something is breaking inside of him.

“Gang up on me then why don’t you,” he says, handing you the last piece he’s got left. He tosses the peel in the trash, “what do you want anyhow, Robin?”

“Your break is up, and her shift has started. Let’s get to slinging ice cream, shitheads!”

You wipe your hands on your shorts and hop up. Steve doesn’t move, just looks at you.

“C’mon, Steven. It’ll be lunch sooner than later.”

He grins. His eyes look tired and you wonder if he slept any last night. He told you once recently that he doesn’t always sleep well, that sometimes he has to listen to tapes in order to keep his head from being so busy, to keep the thoughts from being so loud.

Steve has told you a lot since last fall. There’s a significant bit more that you know that’s more than what he’s given Robin, but you know he’ll let her in. He just needs the time.

Though sometimes you think he might be giving you everything. The parts of himself he’s never shown anyone else. Because you’ve been such a good listener, and Steve’s never really had that before.

He wishes he had the balls to tell you more. But he can’t fuck it up this time. Not with you. You’re too good.

Steve is your best friend now. You know that. He knows it.

If yourself from a year ago could see you now, she’d probably knock your fucking teeth in. But he’s just so much more than you thought. You’re not sure you’ll ever forgive yourself for not thinking there could be more in him, though he’s told you not to be upset. You’ve told him the same when he berates himself for not having paid you more attention in school.

It’s the past. You can’t live there. And today, you’re scooping ice cream for pre-sticky kids, for shitty pay, but it doesn’t matter because you have him. You have Robin.

You stick out your hand, and Steve takes it without a second thought. His palm engulfs yours, skin warm and a little calloused.

“We can watch whatever you want tonight.”

He squeezes your hand. You and Robin are supposed to have a sleepover with him tonight. He suggested he sleep in a guest room and you two have his bed, but Robin said she needs to be cuddled. You said you’re not letting him sleep anywhere but his bed.

“I thought you wanted to watch Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

“I always wanna watch that. But you can pick first, Stevie.”

Stevie. His stomach flips at that. You don’t let it out often, but when you do it’s like Steve might just die right there.

He straightens, deal clearly made, and you pull him up–not that you need to.

You push through the door with him, and immediately regret it. It’s like the soccer moms can smell your fear, and you know it.

“Breathe,” Steve says. “Dustin’s here.”

He is. The entire party. That you can deal with.

You think you could deal with an absurd line and angry mothers for the rest of your life if it meant assembling Dustin and Lucas’ weird orders. Even if you have to endure Will’s questioning looks and his pleas that you bring some ice cream home. If you have to listen to Robin’s word vomit.

If it meant spending time with Steve, you’d do it.

God, how shit changes.

————

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