#I'll fix mistakes tomorrow lol

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Pairing: Yandere! Ike x reader

Prompt: “You’re so cute when you’re struggling.”

Description: Ike leads you back to his room, hoping to share his feelings for you. No isn't an acceptable answer :3c Word Count: 1715

Tags: Yandere, dead dove, imprisonment, bondage, ask to tag

Notes: I see fic I wrote in 2018. I come back 6 years later and say "this was poorly executed" and I rewrite the whole thing. Also tagging @transike and @tacticianshuru10 because they were the ones that convinced me too <3 previous version can be found here, if you want to cringe with me

He was in deep, that much was certain. Dark water that only rose up further in him, that chilled his bones, slowed his movements, made his thoughts frantic. It blocked out the sun, made certain there was no escape. No, there was only you.

You, darling Summoner; oh, how you clouded his thoughts. Ike was once a good man, he was certain of that-- but a good man wouldn’t have such dark thoughts about you. He was desperate to keep up the facade, though, too convince you he was still a good person. It was almost too easy, too. Perhaps you wanted to believe him, perhaps you didn’t know-- or maybe, just maybe, you thought like him too. Whatever it was, Ike was glad. Glad you were so obvious, glad you were so trusting-- it made everything so much easier.

“Ike?” Your soft voice catches him off guard. He had been so far in his thoughts, he had nearly forgotten you were here with him-- tugged aside by his own hand. “Is everything okay?” You pause, giving him a small smile. His heart might beat out of his chest from that look alone. You made him ache, did you even know?

It was hard to find his voice. He can’t help but clear his throat, color rising to his cheeks. “Sorry, I was… distracted.” He admits, voice as soft as his rough cadence can let him. He seeks your eyes, his heartbeat not calming at all as you meet it-- not without some color to your own cheeks. “I wanted to speak with you. Privately.” What a lie. The things Ike would do to you, if you would only let him.

“Privately.” You repeat, nodding softly. “Where did you have in mind?” Ike looks around you. A few other Heroes milled about here, (not worthy of your presence-- as if he was?) but this was too good an opportunity to pass up. The chance to get you alone good enough to eat. And did he ever want to consume, to savor you.

“I was hoping we could go to my quarters?” The words come out like a question but Ike is already guiding you that way. It wasn’t far, it’s not like you hadn’t been there before, he rationalizes. Even still, he spirals-- you and he, alone in his room. Where would things go?

“Of course we can!” You’re all to happy to let him lead the way. Did you have any self preservation? No, of course you did-- you just didn’t realize Ike had bad intentions, did you?

All too soon, the two of you arrive. Ike is quick to let you in, to close (to lock!) the door behind you. He watches you settle on the edge of his bed with familiar ease, a sight that sets his heart beating fast once more. “So what did you want to talk about?” You hum softly, but Ike can’t help but notice the way your fingers curl into his unkempt blanket, digging in and out of the soft texture.

Were you nervous? Perhaps even afraid. You ought to be, Summoner. He didn’t plan on letting you leave without getting a taste.

“It’s… not that simple.” Ike laughs, settling beside you. His hand finds way to one yours, easing your nervous fidgeting. Color dusts your cheeks once more and emboldened, Ike continues. “_____…” Ike dares to call you by name, to look you in the eyes and find the right words. He hadn’t planned this, didn’t know what to say now that you were here. Now that you were alone together. “There’s… no easy way to admit this.” A small laugh leaves him, one that has him smoothing back blue hair and taking a deep, fortifying breath. “Do you know what you do to me?”

Do you know how you’ve changed him? Made him feel more beast than man? Do you know the hunger that strikes him, when he sees you turn his way? The ache he feels, when you smile and say his name? Gods, _____, the all consuming urges-- to take you, to claim you, to have his way with you. To lock you away, hide you from the horrors of the battles you fought and the wars you took place in…

“Ike…?” Your voice rises in pitch, with a tone Ike can’t begin to place a name too. He was in too deep to quit talking now, though. You would know of his desires-- and either you would meet them, or you would be caught running from that dark water. Either way, Ike would have his way. But it wouldn’t come to that, would it? Ike could tell-- you wanted to be good for him.

With that new found confidence, Ike continues. “I want you to understand… how much I want to protect you-- see you happy.” Your features soften, only spurring Ike only. Feeding his dark thoughts. “When I see you… when I’m near you… I’m happy, relived. When you’re away, I… feel like I’m not myself. Like something is missing.”

“That’s… so cute…!” Your eyes widen. Ike can practically see the way your heart must be pounding. Did you feel the same? Were your thoughts just as filled with him? Oh, if you felt at all similar, Ike might fall apart on the spot. He might not be able to hold back! Gods, you were holding a hand to your chest. You were in just as deep, he was certain. Two fools, heads underwater.

“All this to say… I love you. I love you and.. I have to keep you as close to me as possible.” He moves towards you, slinking over your form, peering into your eyes with a strange, intense look. But you’re almost too caught up in the moment to even realize how wrong it is. Almost. Precious, oblivious. There was nothing you could do.

“What are you doing, Ike?” Your raise your voice a hair, but don’t fight him as he eases you down. No, Ike sees you shiver instead. Does his touch excite you that much? Does it set you aflame like it does him? He really hopes so-- he can see the excitement in your eyes, see how it dances with fear and trepidation. “Ike?” Would you keep calling his name, the further he pushed?

“You love me, don’t you?” Ike can only smile as he sees you nodding dumbly. He smooths a hand along your jaw, caressing your cheek softly. He keeps his smile a moment, before it falls as he begins to speak again. “Then put your hands up for me.” It’s an order, not a request. You merely sit there, hands at your side as Ike unties his headband, staring up at him confused.

“Ike, come on this isn’t funny.” You try once, face falling when Ike doesn’t respond. “Ike, really, what’s wrong with you?” You wretch your hands free of his gentle grip, looking up at him with confusion, fear dilating your pupils. He could see the startings of a cold sweat on your skin, the way your eyes shifted around the room. But there would be no escaping this. No escaping him.

“I have to keep you here.” The words are stern, as hard as his grip on your hands this time. You struggle on still, your strength surprising Ike as you free your hands again. You attempt to sit up, breathing fast, the surge of adrenaline hitting you obvious. Perhaps you weren’t as dumb as he had thought-- no, you just really thought Ike was one of the good ones. Too bad for you, he was even worse. “Here, I can protect you, keep you safe… keep you to myself.” He grunts, grabbing your hands even tighter than the moments before. Still, you fight him.

“Ike you can’t be serious!” You raise your voice, still fighting off his attempt-- wiggling and wrenching, trying in vein to fight him off. A valiant effort-- but unfortunately, a mere wave in the storm of Ike’s dark desires.

“Don’t you want to stay here, with me?” You falter a moment, seeing something in him. A sliver of the man you had fallen in love with? Or an invitation to sink further into the darkness with him?

“Ike, no, I can’t. Not like this. Not when so many people depend on me!” Instead, you double down, fighting even more. Ike can’t help the small frown that fits his face. He had really hoped you would understand-- perhaps, it was too much to ask for. Even he was aware how twisted his affections had become-- he couldn’t find it in him to care, though. Not when you were here, finally, in his arms.

“You’re so cute when you’re struggling.” Ike chuckles softly, pressing his hips down into yours. You freeze, breath hitching. Now, now you know what you do to him-- and keep acting this way, you’ll know the consequences too. “But don’t make me hurt you. We both know how easy that would be, _____.” You shrink back like a violet, your features showing just how betrayed you felt. It’s all too easy to capture your hands now, holding them in one of his large ones.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Ike. Please.” You try one more time to appeal to a better side of him. But Ike had long since drowned in these feelings for you. Now it was time to pull you under as well.

“No, I think it does. This is where you belong-- all pretty and compliant, struggling so cutely under me...” Ike has to look away from your face a moment, to tie you to his headboard. Tight, but secure. You would need his help if you wanted to leave.

“Ike, please.” You whisper, tears welling in your eyes. Ike merely leans in close, his lips a hair’s breath from your eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay _____. I know it’s scary right now-- but we love each other. You’ll come around to my way of loving and you see… you won’t even want to leave.” Ike cradles your head, soaks in the look of helplessness on your face. Yes, soon you’ll come to understand-- you would feel so loved and protected, you wouldn’t even dream of leaving him.

[chigirizzz]

they comfort you after you had a bad day

characters: sae, kunigami, shidou, isagi

warnings/tags: angst, fluff, boyfriend material, gn! reader (gets called princess on shidou's because i feel like he would call that to anyone regardless of their gender), shidou being shidou, they're pro players, mentions of violence (shidou and kunigami's parts), swear words, pet names such as "handsome", "baby", "beautiful", "princess" and "shrimp" (you will see why lol), fake friends (shidou), burn out and violence at work (kunigami), reader's insecurities get attacked on isagi's part (it wasn't isagi tho) but no insecurities are specified

notes: sorry for any mistakes :>

»»——⍟——««

itoshi sae

"come to bed," your boyfriend, itoshi sae, called for you at the door of your study room (where you studied and did your college assignments).

"just give me one or two hours more, handsome," you answered, not even looking at his direction. your eyes were focused on your laptop screen and on your notes in front of you, getting dryer and more sensitive each minute from the amount of hours you spent in front of the screen. Your posture was... not the best.

a "tch" escaped sae's lips at your response. he knew you were lying and planing to spent the whole night studying. you always did that. sometimes he would wake up at around 3am to get some water only to notice the faint light coming out of your study room.

"what are you exactly doing anyway?" he asked when he approached you to inspect what you were typing on the laptop and reading on your notebook. he yawned and rested his hand on top of your head gently, which you didn't seem to mind. sae would occasionally do random and unusual gestures to show his love for you.

"a group project that one of my professors decided to give us today and is due in two days. but surprise surprise, my group is terrible and refuses to do anything, and when they decide to do something, it reminds you of the skills of a fifth grader." you let out everything, almost without taking a break to breathe. you inhaled anddd… exhaled. "so basically, i have to do almost everything, and it's stressing me out."

sae listened carefully to your words. he knew what you felt, sometimes he feels like he has to do all the work on a game while his teammates either seem to not give a shit or just don't know how to think rationally ("they're a bunch of assholes," he'd tell you often). he knows how annoying and stressful it is, even if he is a professional football player and you a normal university student.

"come to bed. you need rest."

a groan escaped your lips. "sae, i can't. it's a very complex project to do in a very short time, i have to do as much as i can today still so i don't get delayed." your hands grabbed a few hair strands and pulled them with some force. "and as i just told you, it's me doing most of the work. i can't rest, not yet."

he sighed. he grabbed your chin gently and made you look at him. "y/n, you and your pathetic classmates are university students, you must be mature and responsible. if they don't pursue those characteristics, then they don't deserve your time, your patience and your nice words. they can go fuck themselves." his thumb caressed your lower lip. "i would advise you to do this: you send the project's plan to your rat looking buddies and professor's email, making it clear who does what. that way, if they don't do their shit—or if they fuck up their shit—, your professor will know who actually worked hard. "he pressed a kiss on your lips and walked towards the door so he could go to your shared room. "but you do you, i guess. i'll go to bed. and fix your posture, you look like a shrimp."

about half an hour later, itoshi felt a weight on the opposite side of the bed. you thought he was already asleep, but you were surprised when his arm wrapped around your waist protectively.

"i did what you told me. we'll see how tomorrow will go..." a few seconds of silence. "thank you, sae. i love you."

he kissed you on the cheek. "hm. love you too." his words made you smile a bit and you cuddled closer to him. but of course, sae decided to ruin the moment. "shrimp."

"are you seriously gonna start calling me that?!"

no point in acting like you're offended, your boyfriend is just chuckling at your reaction.

shidou ryusei

"angry" was not enough to describe what Shidou Ryusei was feeling at that moment; Shidou felt pissed off and full of contempt, and the way you were crying on the couch in a curled up position only made him clench his fists, his blood boiling inside his dilated veins.

"i'm going to beat the shit out of them." the pink-eyed demon was never the best at comforting others, in fact, he never cared about the emotions of others, choosing instead to ignore or mock anyone who would be in a vulnerable state around him. however, you were a different case, you were his partner, and he genuinely cared about you even though he had promised himself that he didn't want "distractions" in his life. but even though you were the protagonist in his life, shidou ryusei still didn't know how to comfort a human being, so when he saw you sad after you found out that your friends had betrayed you, he decided to choose violence as a solution. "I will beat them, torture them, and then spit in their eyes."

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand and looked at him, at his evil smirk. your hand landed on his fist in an attempt to calm him down. "ryu... no, you'll only make it worse. i'll just forget about them and move on. it's better this way." you knew he only wanted revenge for the way your fake friends made you feel, and you knew perfectly well that your boyfriend could handle a fight alone against a big group of people, but an angry shidou was an out-of-control shidou, and you didn't want any more problems (but deep down, you'd like to see them hurt).

"huh?" he arched an eyebrow, his pink eyes growing darker. "baby... didn't you get tired of crying every time your oh so dear friends ignored you and humiliated you?"

more tears were falling down your cheeks, but now you weren't sobbing or anything, you just were in silence and listening to him. your eyes and nose were red, your head hurts like a bitch, your throat was burning and you felt dizzy and dehydrated. you just wanted to sleep on the bed you shared with your boyfriend, to hold him and not let him go not even for a second.

yesterday you asked your friends on the group chat if they wanted to go to the movies with you the next day, which is today. some said they would be busy, others didn't even bother to answer. you were already used to their distant behavior. wanting to see the movie anyway and to enjoy your free time, you decided to go alone, only to find that your entire group of friends was in the same mall as you, strolling through the stores without any concern or remorse.

you confronted them but they got defensive and started saying that they didn't do anything wrong.

for months they excluded you, humiliated you, made fun of you, and even badmouthed each other—what a group of loyal friends.

shidou wiped your tears and hugged you, your face on his muscular chest, searching for warmth and comfort.

"what if they do something...like spread rumors or something...they would be capable of that."

"they won't. i won't let that happen, princess. i promise.~" he awkwardly ran a hand through your hair. a few minutes passed like that until you fell asleep. he took you to bed and tucked you under the sheets. he stared at you for a while, observing your red eyes and how you slept, hugging one of the many pillows that were on top of the bed. yeah he's definitely going to hit someone. "goodnight beautiful~." the blond pressed a kiss to your cheek and left the house silently. your friends have to pay, no matter if you were in favor of the situation or not. fortunately he knew where some of them lived.

shidou ryusei was not the best person to seek comfort from, but he was the best to make sure you felt protected.

kunigami rensuke

kunigami's attention was drawn to the front door of the house that the two of you shared. a smile formed on his lips; he knew it was you who had just come home from a long day at the office.

lately you had started coming home extremely late from work, completely tired and desperate to get to bed. however, kunigami thought that you were getting... sick—paler, dark circles under your eyes, distancing yourself from him as you didn't have any energy to spend time with him and you had a more... depressed aura. kunigami knew that you weren't well, he knew that your work was slowly consuming you, both physically and mentally.

no matter how many times he told you that it would be better to quit, you denied it, wanting to contribute to the financial state of both of you—even though your boyfriend's salary as a professional football player was more than enough—and wanting to have a life and career of your own. the ginger respected your opinion and your independence, but the way you were killing yourself—no, the way your boss was taking advantage of you made him angry.

the ginger was never the type of guy who likes violence or any kind of conflict, he always preferred to "play fair", but the idea of giving your boss a hard time was getting more and more appealing.

"hi baby," he said with a soft voice and approached you to rest his hands on your shoulders. "how are you feeling? tired? want me to cook something for you?" he looked at you, and the man's face expression went from a warm smile to worry and panic when you made eye contact with him. your eyes were red from crying, your hair was a mess.

kunigami was silent, not knowing what to do or what to say, so he just pulled you into a hug, his hand on the back of your head.

"what happened? y/n… are you ok?" he asked you in a low voice. you could feel his hot breath and his warmth—it was comforting.

"rensuke, i…" you sniffed your nose and hot tears were forming on your eyes.

he interrupted you, his hand now on top of your head, giving you a little massage on your scalp with his fingers. "shh. it's ok if you don't want to tell me. you're safe now."

but you wanted to tell him.

"i… my boss screamed at me and-and'' your sobs were interrupting your words. kunigami kept embracing you—tight enough to make you feel safe, but still careful to not hurt you or to make you uncomfortable. he knew you were a strong person, and always made sure to not be the overprotective type since you hated it and it made you feel powerless and like you lacked freedom, however, at that moment, you were clearly psychologically and physically hurt—he could see a bruise here and there on your body—; you obviously were in need of him taking care of you.

in fact, that was one thing that rensuke loved about you, you always wanted to do things your way and without much help, but if you actually were in a situation where you needed someone to help you, you wouldn't deny it or hesitate. he loves how you were so strong and independent, but still humble enough to know what you wanted and what you needed, without being afraid of telling anyone.

"and started pushing me and throwing things at me. he... he has been getting more violently each day."

the ginger spent two hours listening to you, his big arms never leaving you (unless you needed a tissue or a cup of water), whispering things like "i love you", "it's ok", "i'll protect you". you were so grateful to have him in your life.

"i'll take care of the situation." he told you. you were now cuddling on your shared bed.

"how?..."

"don't know exactly, but maybe i'll ask reo for help so he can fire your boss and make him bankrupt and lonely. you know, since reo has a lot of connections."

you chuckled at his words. "seems like a good idea to me." you kissed the tip of his nose and smiled when you saw his cheeks getting pink. "thank you, my love."

isagi yoichi

"it's ok, y/n, someone will accept you eventually." your dark haired boyfriend handed you a cup of tea to make you feel better and sat next to you on the sofa of the living room. "the most beautiful diamonds take a lot of time to form, you know?"

you chuckled at his silly attempt to cheer you up. "i don't know, yoichi… i have tried so many agencies and so far nothing."

isagi sighed. "come here." he called out to you, and when you looked at him confused, he grabbed your arms gently and made you lie on top of him, your head resting on his muscular chest, listening to his heartbeat. his arms embraced you and one of his hands gave you a small massage on your omoplates. "your muscles are so tense. relax, no need to worry, baby. someone will eventually realize how beautiful and talented you are."

for months you've been trying to join a model agency—only to be rejected every time. it made you feel hopeless and embarrassed, but you were still fighting for your dream.

today you received an email of the most recent agency you candidated to, however, this one rejecting email was a bit different… they proceeded to be unprofessional and insult everything about you, managing to hit on your insecurities and give you new insecurities.

isagi was actually the one who got a reaction—his eyes darkened, his jaw tightened, his knuckles turning white due to the amount of strength he used when clenching his fists—insisting to make them pay for their cruel words. you, on the other hand, just stared at your laptop screen—not a single movement, not even a single word.

isagi was passing around the living room insulting the model agency out loud. he then noticed how quiet you were. he calmed down and approached you, his fingers caressing your cheeks after closing the laptop.

and now you're here cuddling on the sofa. your eyes were closed, feeling his chest slowly moving up and down due to him breathing.

"you'll see, baby, you will make it. i'll be by your side the entire time."

you were so thankful for having him besides you.

[jellyskink]

A fish out of water. (Idk I wanted to make the title reference Stan's Cipher Zodiac symbol but I couldn't think of a witty way how. Is it even a fish?? Idk I see a fish lol.)

("Wherever we go, we go together alright bro?")

Light filled the room as Stan flipped the lightswitch to his condo. Soft white light filled the room, a mixture of trash and trinkets littered the room in front him.

(Right... I forgot I've been needin' to take care of that. Eh I'll get to it tomorrow. The twins won't be back here until a couple of days.)

Reaching up to scratch his chin, a sharp pain registered as his hand scratched his chin and lower lip.

(OW Ffff-french toast... Figures I'd forget about the number that guy did on the old kisser.)

Earlier that day another jerk had mistaken him for his twin. The usual routine, of course he made sure to return the favor with interest though. There's no way that guy would be seein' anything with his left eye for a good while after the mark he left on it.

(Welp, better get to trying to fix this up. Mabel and Ford'll definitely worry even more than usual if this gets infected.)

Saying that, the old man shuffled over to his bathroom, dodging the miscellaneous items that covered the floor.

(Aight let's get this over with...)

The bathroom was a little disorganized, but everything was more or less the same as it usually was. Still, it was a bit of an adjustment to get used to having Mabel (and to an extent Dipper's) stuff in the sink cabinet along with his own.

Searching through the wave of clutter in the cabinet, Stan eventually found the peroxide he was searching for, to his dismay he did find he was out of normal band-aids, so he was forced to use the box of band-aids covered with designs of puppies, kittens, and narwhals.

(Really hope Mabel doesn't mind I'm usin' one of her band-aids...)

Stan knew she wouldn't, heck she'd insist he use them, but Stan couldn't help but feel at least a little bit guilty for needing to ask for handouts from her, a kid.

Cleaning up the wound was about as fun as it could be, but it wasn't the worst. God knows he's had to clean up way worse.

After quickly slapping a kitten band-aid with the words "Paw-Sum Dude!" onto his wound, he found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror.

(Geez, I guess I'll never escape bein' pointdexter's shadow sometimes huh?)

It was to be expected with being a twin right? Especially if one was more famous than the other.

Although these days that "popularity" was more negative than positive.

(At least it wasn't the dog treats n' cat biscuits thing this time. I HATE when they do that.)

Geez what would Pa think with how they turned out, what would MA think?

Times like these he really wished he could literally beat some sense into people. If he could only make people understand Ford like he did, or at least, like he THOUGHT he did.

(Shoot, he started thinking like this again.)

Like a slideshow in science class, bits and pieces of memories of his youth flashed by in a blink of an eye.

Fond memories of their times on the beach, their first day of school, to the awkward start of learning to box.

To the less wonderful times, the fights between their parents or the family in general, times the two got hurt defending themselves from bullies, to all of the times the two fought.

...

"This was no accident, Stan; you did this! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!"

(Crap, I'm dwellin' on this again? Why? It's been years since that dumb mistake!)

And yet it wasn't just a dumb mistake was it? It was THE dumb mistake. The one that cost Ford his dream college, the one that ruined their relationship for so many years, the one one that got Stanley kicked out onto the streets by their Father and was forced to survive all those years on his own.

(If only I had manned up and had told the truth about that dumb machine earlier, we probably could've fixed it. I could've prevented all of the junk that I caused to the family, I probably could've PREVENTED Ford from ever getting involved with that dumb triangle!)

But... was their any truth to that? In a perfect world where Stan didn't screw up once again, could he confidently say things would've been better?

(Why didn't he say anything that day? Why didn't he stand up against Pa that day? Did I screw up so much he hated me that much?)

The funniest part about that was he could'nt even ask Ford about it. If he did, Ford got this distant look on his face while havin' a 50/50 shot of either spacing out for a good while or freakin' out for what felt like AGES.

Stan began to feel a tight feeling in his chest, his throat starting to close as it started to become harder to breathe.

The very same man who had carried so much pride in himself and his work, that he was willing to leave Stan out to dry when Stan had screwed up his chances at getting into his dream school, was now a shell of his former self.

(You threw everything away for... for... some dumb triangle with an eye! Your self respect, your family, you gave it all up for what??)

Tears began to flow down Stanley's cheeks.

(Damnit, I shouldn't be crying. A man ain't supposed to cry over something as small as this!)

As Stan tried his best to try and rebottle his emotions again, something caught his eye as he looked out in front of him.

It was Ford. His spitting image stared back at him, looking just as upset as he was while wearing the same things as he did.

His previous sadness soon began to blossom into rage as Stan found himself grabbing the baseball bat he kept in the bathroom for emergencies.

"Y-YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE EVERYTHING DIDN'T YOU!"

*Crack*

"AND STILL YA GAVE UP EVERYTHING TA BE WITH SOMETHIN' THAT DOESN'T TREAT YA BETTER THAN A STRAY DOG!!"

*Shatter*

"I-I"

The words "Hate you" hung on the edge of this tongue. He wanted to say those words so BADLY. Wanted to believe em' too. And yet he couldn't.

The mirror in front of him was shattered beyond repair, pieces of it still hanging onto it's frame as the rest collected into the sink below it.

From those pieces, Stan was able to see the ball of anger that stood in front of him. Ford's reflection wasn't there anymore, it was him again, yet with the way he looked in the mirror, he also saw his Father's stern look staring back at him, his rage filled eyes reflecting back at him in the triangular piece of mirror that stubbornly held on to the mirror's frame despite what a majority of the other pieces did by just breaking off from it.

("All you ever do is lie and cheat, and ride on your brother's coattails.")

*Clunk*

The bat fell to the ground as Stan felt himself fall to his knees, tears flowing even stronger as he found his body doing the opposite of what his mind told it to do.

A bloodcurdling roar filled the night, similar to a hurt angry bear, the sound afterwards followed by sobs.

Stan would eventually get to collecting himself enough to clean up the mess in the bathroom, afterwards falling asleep at his armchair with the tv on as whitenoise. The framed pictures of his family watching over him as his only companions that night.

It was going to be "fun" to think up a lie to tell the neighbors the next day about the noise coming from his condo, but he was too exhausted to worry about that right now. Right now, he just wanted to sleep, hoping the cravings for certain substances would leave in the morning, he made so much progress for the twins already, he didn't want to lose all of it due to some "hysterical episode" of his.

Of course, when Mabel and Dipper called the next morning they'd be none the wiser of what ailed their Great Uncle, he'd be matching their excited energy as they told them what mischief they've gotten into lately.

Ford would still be none the wiser as he embraced his brother when they metup that afternoon, although he would find it strange Stanley had trouble looking him in the eye that day, although he'd be quickly brushed off when he'd ask Stan if anything was wrong and if he and his Muse could help with anything.

Stanley was going to make sure that nobody was going to see or know the fragile side to him.

Nobody was going to know that "Stanley Screwup Pines" was struggling with personal issue.

If luck wasn't on your side you kept trying until it was, even if you had to cheat your way to winning.

You didn't just accept defeat when you're knocked down.

If there was something wrong with a performance you just continued onwards, winging it and acting like nothing was wrong because the show must go on.

He wasn't ever going to cry in front of anyone.

Cause especially if he cried,

SHE would cry along with him.

And he wasn't ever going to let that happen as long as his lived.

In a way you could say this was the greatest con Stanley Pines ever did.

Convincing everyone, even himself, that he was infact, fine.

(HEY BESTIES! I totally lost some sleep writing this but after seeing the latest post my Jellyskink about Stan I knew I had to try writing some fanfiction for Stan!

The 14 year old girl that possessed me is happy to say it was fun to try writing more angsty fanfiction, especially since that's a specialty for the Gravity Falls Fandom when it isn't being silly or comforting lol.

I hope this turned out decently! As I writing this I was thinking of two Marina songs to recommend but I couldn't decide on one so I thought I'd share both of them.

"The Family Jewels"

"Teen Idle"

Both by Marina.

I hope I kinda captured Stan's essence! I always kinda thought he gave off the "Bruiser with a soft side" trope and stuff!

He's so bbg, I hope everyone enjoys the very girlypop and slaytastic fanfic I wrote for him! Geez I'm having too much fun talking like this lmao!)

THIS IS SO SADDD I LOVE IT 💔💔💔 POOR STAN!!!

(Pictured above: Ford's obliviousness has only gotten worse in his isolation from other humans)

(Also pictured above: the young twins are currently holding the family brain cells)

[prince-liest]

Ok so I know you haven't officially trans anyone's gender in any of your Hazbin fics, but I lowkey get really trans vibes from Alastor in most of your fics?

Idk, it's a little hard go explain but what really tipped me off was his... distaste? Disfavor? Aversion? To his "male body" in one of the 666 fics. (I think the line was something akin to "the male body being what it is" in reference to Alastor getting hard fairly quickly).

There's honestly a lot of interesting things to speculate in relation to how Alastor views his body. Especially with his relationship with touch, and how he initiates touch and how he actively dislikes it (depending on the person).

Not to mention his feelings regarding his non-human features. How he doesn't inherently dislike them for being what they are, or rather, that they're "abnormal", but more so that they're not what they're "supposed to be", and not "what he was before" (though I do think that his dislike of his deer features is linked to his dislike of how he died, being viewed as something so easy to be put down - an animal).

Which also relates to how dressed Alastor constantly is. How he shields away his body using clothing, a customizable thing that he takes great pride in making sure is up to his standards (notice how when his coat is damaged he immediately goes to get it fixed, even though the ends of his coat is already damaged. He seems to have very complex opinions on how, exactly, his coat is supposed to be damaged)

I do think that Alastor's preference to being so dressed is linked to his dislike of vulnerability, but I also think it's a very trans(tm) move, lol.

(And I also do think that his dislike of vulnerability is tied to his transness, kinda in a weird "chicken and egg" scenario.)

I find it really interesting how Alastor's true feelings are revealed by his shadow, a being that can transform to look different, is mostly hidden, and is internally mysterious. Idk, it's just very trans(tm) to me!

I also think that Alastor's transness is linked to how he views masculinity, how he seems to automatically like woman, while automatically disliking man. How this is also tied to his parents. I've noticed in your fics (and could be completely wrong about) that Alastor seems to relate femininity (and his mother) with "safety" (how he compares the gentle touch in your last fic with feeling like his mother and his like of jambalaya).

I'm not sure if I would say that Alastor is a trans woman, but I also wouldn't say he isn't. Overall I think he has a very complex view of gender, but it's definitely something he doesn't put a lot into. Which relates to him not knowing what asexuality is.

I have a lot more Alastor trans thoughts, but this ask is already getting pretty long so I'm just gonna cut it off here. I hope I made sense, and that you're comfortable with me speculating on a character you've written about gender. (Totally valid if you're not though! If so, then please disregard this ask!)

I'll take "asks that made me realize I'm out here accidentally writing a character as nonbinary" for 300, please! Please prepare yourself for the mistake of letting me have a keyboard and talk about gender after 9pm, so sorry to literally everybody else.

You're gonna get a real fuckin' kick out of the first bit of the next 666 that I'm gonna post tomorrow. ;) It's definitely the point where I finally acknowledged to myself that I have a strong urge to inject some genderfuckery into Alastor in the form of him continuing to use his thing with Vox to explore his own relationship with, like, existing in his own body, and then also threw those feelings all over Angel Dust like a fistful of glitter while I was at it.

Like you said, I wouldn't say that I've ended up writing him as a trans woman, but I think I have seen him from the start as a character who is not exactly cis in a wibbly-wobbly way I have not previously defined but that I think I would perhaps characterize as "gender: monster condescending to play at humanity."

I don't think he eschews masculinity entirely, for what it's worth. He definitely strikes me as a person who aligns himself with the image of a smiling gentleman (if a hellish one) as the proper way for a person like him to be, and for whom that is an important, comfortable, and satisfying part of both his identity and how he relates to both his female friends and to men. However, he also strikes me as someone for whom that part of his identity is what he shows the world on purpose, presented as he would like it to be seen, rather than as something that reflects his bodily preferences. To put it another way, if he'd been AFAB, I think he would put just as much into his presentation, just in the direction of femininity, and it wouldn't make him any more or less comfortable with himself.

You're right in that I've definitely written him with a faint distaste for the mundane physical reality of his body, and a lot of this comes through in how he alternates between short moments of fascination with what new things his body is doing as he explores it and decides whether or not he likes it, and his much longer moments of utter disregard for the same thing. It also extends to the rest of his mundane humanity, though: his physical limits, his adrenaline-rush of fear, etc. He values the coat, the cane, the reality-bending static, the smile - but whatever he sees in the mirror when he gets undressed or whatever doesn't function to his purposes, he can take or leave.

I see Alastor as someone who defines himself first and foremost as the radio demon: not a person, but a monster and an enigma. A voice and a personality. Everything else is more or less incidental, and he would prefer to keep it set aside, thank you. The occasional dysphoria isn't just about his sex, it's about the humanity of his body as a whole.

[lying-on-floors]

The Rye's and the Deputy

Nick was startled awake by a soft thud coming from downstairs. He grabbed his gun and made sure Kim and their daughter were safe before he headed down the stairs, his gun ready but he wasn't expecting to see what he did when he rounded that corner.

There she was, the "deputy," a 22 year old kid, her short hair greasy and her skin was dirty, probably from eating shit after jumping off of God knows what, yet here she was, on his couch, a can of corn and a beer on the coffee table.

"Hey, Dep."

She turned around and looked sheepish,

"Hey, Nicky. I, uh, Jimmied the window a bit, to get in," she stated almost casually, "b-but I'll, uh, fix it in the morning, before I do anything." She rushed out that last part, but Nick was already grabbing her extra pillows and a blanket from their closet.

"Here," he moved around the back of the couch and placed the pillows against the arm rest and he draped the blanket over the back.

"Take off your boots, and take a shower before you leave tomorrow," he placed his hands on his hips as he watched the deputy slip off her boots, "you know what, just stay for breakfast. Kim's gonna make pancakes." He smiled as the deputy made a little "ooh" sound. He helped her get more comfortable and asked if she needed anything else, she said no and they said goodnight.

Nick walked back up the stairs,

"False alarm, wife. Just the Deputy." He placed his gun on the bedside table and flopped back onto his side of the bed.

Kim laughed, "y'kno, we really ought'a get that girl a key."

Nick laughed, "yeah, it'll keep her from prying our windows open and breaking our damn house." His words may have sounded a bit harsh, but his tone was full of fondness, the deputy had become kind of a little sister to him over the few months that she's been in Hope County. No matter where she goes or what she does, she'll always have a place at their house.

(Wrote this at 5 am on no sleep, so cut me some slack if there's any mistakes or if it's lack-luster, I'm tired, lol.)

[theoasiswinds]

StarWars Sale

Hello My darlings! I was waiting for the first episode of Ahsoka to start the starwars sale, But Im afraid I wont have time then. So, I will start this sale tomorrow

StarWars sale begins Aug, 6th 2023 and Ends Aug 30th, 2023

If interested in a commission, please feel free to send me a chat!

I will not be offering couples, because of time and this will be the last SW sale until The Mandalorian comes out next year, which could be in september or november of 2024.

Please keep in mind that character design is a bit extra depending on details, and if interested in a nonstarwars commission, Link is below and will be available during the sale as well. Just no couples available either! (commissions)

The reason I am not waiting for Ahsoka is because I am going to having another surgery in the begining of september, to fix a mistake from my previous surgeon and also to just hopefully fix everything from the endometriosis.

Im getting tired of all these surgeries man. I better end up like The Bionic woman after this, but I have a feeling I'll be more like frankenstein lol

As always thank you all so much for the support~!

[lulamadison]

So last night I had a drunk idea for a fanfic. It was miserable as hell, but I seemed very excited about it, judging by my tumblr posts 🤣

Today I found a text file named "Anti Lawrusso fic" on my phone, and it was filled with notes for this fic, so I decided to actually write it... (I am a huge Lawrusso fan, so this fic idea took me by surprise when I read it lol)

Sorry about any mistakes. I haven't even read this through, but I'll fix them tomorrow

I'm actually going to warn for dub-con on this one, even though everything is consensual.

Summary: Johnny will do anything to keep his kids safe, even if it means lying to Daniel.

I Was Made For Loving You

“I love you,” Daniel sighed as he tenderly brushed his fingers through the hair at Johnny's temple.

Daniel was laid on top of him, his weight pressing down, trapping Johnny's spent cock against his damp belly.

Johnny stared up at him, grateful that Daniel was was still with him.

He'd do anything to keep Daniel happy.

No matter what.

It was strange the way it started, Johnny thought.

Daniel had confessed his love in the dojo one day and it had taken him by surprise.

“I love you,” Daniel said, as he reached out and placed his hand on Johnny's arm. “And I know you feel the same way. I've seen how you look at me.”

Johnny took a step back, his mouth opening and closing, before he finally said, “You love me?”

Daniel's face fell, like a sudden and crushing realisation had just hit him, and Johnny couldn't figure out what the hell was going on.

“Oh my god,” Daniel said, as he closed his eyes

“What?” Johnny asked, his head still swimming in confusion.

Daniel looked down at the floor, his face flushing red, as he quietly said, “You don't feel the same way.”

“Wait,” Johnny said, holding up a hand. “You love me?”

“I need to go,” Daniel said, as he turned and started to walk away. He glanced back, over his shoulder and said, “I'm sorry. Just forget this happened.”

“Daniel!” Johnny shouted after him, as the door closed.

Johnny bought a six pack on the way home. He already had one in his refrigerator, but six beers wasn't going to cut it. He needed to get wasted tonight.

Three beers in, sat on his couch, and he still couldn't get it straight in his head.

LaRusso was in love with him.

They were good friends now, yeah, but love?

How the hell had that happened?

Johnny was just thankful every day that LaRusso seemed to have forgiven him for what went down between them back in high school, and he really valued the friendship that they had now. Daniel was someone he could rely on, and he didn't have many people like that in his life.

Sure, he was a loud mouth cocky little shit at heart, just like he'd been at 16, but he knew if he needed help, or simply just someone to grab a beer with on Friday night, Daniel would be there for him.

Apparently Daniel had seen their friendship as something more than that though.

“Shit,” Johnny said, as he sat upright.

Daniel had split with Amanda just a couple of months ago.

Had Daniel left his wife for him? Had LaRusso blown apart his own marriage, only for Johnny to shoot him down in flames?

Daniel wouldn't have done that surely, not without finding out if Johnny felt the same way?

“And I know you feel the same way. I've seen how you look at me.”

That's what Daniel had said, just after his big confession.

“Fuck,” Johnny whispered to himself.

He went to the refrigerator and took out the second six pack.

He really should have bought more beer.

Daniel didn't come to class for the next week.

“He hasn't been answering many of my messages. I think he's sick,” Sam said with a frown, when Johnny asked her where her dad was. “I haven't seen him much to be honest. Since he and my mom split he hasn't been the same.”

“OK, well if you talk to him will you tell him I was asking after him?” Johnny said.

Sam shrugged, she turned away, and over her shoulder she bitterly said, “Tell him yourself. You probably see him more often than I do.”

After class Johnny stopped off at the Mini Mart for more beer.

There was something in Sam's reply that filled him with dread. Did she know her dad was in love with him? Did she know that Daniel torpedoed his own life for a guy who didn't have a clue how he felt?

Johnny picked up his beer and took it to the register, then said, “I need a bottle of Whiskey too.”

The guy placed the bottle on the counter and rang it up, barely looking up as Johnny handed over the cash.

Johnny grabbed the bottle and headed out of the door, walking quickly across the lot towards the van.

As he rounded the corner, pulling his keys out, he came face to face with John Kreese, and dropped the bottle of Whiskey.

“Fuck!” Johnny shouted as the bottle hit the ground and shattered.

“It's for the best,” Kreese said. “You drink too much.”

“What the hell, man?” Johnny asked, staring at him. “What are you doing here? The cops will be looking for you.”

Kreese shrugged. “I'm sure they have more pressing matters than searching for an old man.”

“I'm going to call them, you know?” Johnny said, as he jabbed a finger into Kreese's chest. “You need to be rotting in a cell.”

“I came with a warning,” Kreese said, his face growing dark.

“Oh yeah? What's that?” Johnny asked. “You gonna try something?”

“Terry is getting out of jail tomorrow,” Kreese said. “And I know that he has his sights set on your boy.”

“What?” Johnny gasped. “How is he getting out of jail after what he did?”

“Money will buy you a lot of freedom,” Kreese said.

“Why the hell is taking his shit out on Robby?” Johnny asked. “He should be coming after me or LaRusso.”

“He's not really interested in Robby,” Kreese said. “Taking Robby away from you is your punishment for your part in his downfall, especially now the boy is without a Sensei.”

“What the hell's that supposed to mean?” Johnny asked, taking a step forward. “Robby is my student.”

“No,” Kreese said. “LaRusso is his Sensei and with him in the wind, Robby will be easy to poach.”

Johnny stiffened. “What do you know about LaRusso?”

“I know you've had a falling out and he's no longer on the scene,” Kreese said. “It's a shame because he was really the only thing keeping Terry away, now he knows how to beat him.”

“Daniel?” Johnny asked. “Silver is scared of him?”

“As close to fear as someone like him can feel,” Kreese said with a shrug. “And without LaRusso it's open season on you and your students.”

“You're lying,” Johnny said angrily.

“Am I?” Kreese said, raising and eyebrow. He turned and began to walk away, then turned back and said, “I guess time will tell.”

“Shit,” Johnny said, as he paced his living room.

The kids were in danger. Robby was in danger, because Johnny had scared away the one person who was keeping him at bay.

He had to do something. He had to bring Daniel back.

He couldn't do this without him. He couldn't imagine a world where Miyagi-Do didn't win, and he couldn't do it without Daniel.

He knew what he had to do.

Johnny sat in his car outside LaRusso's new place, downing the last of his Whiskey. He'd drank the small bottle while sitting nervously, trying to get the courage to knock on the door.

His head was swimming with the alcohol, blotting out his thoughts.

He had to do this.

He dropped the empty bottle into the footwell, then climbed out of the car.

He walked down the path and rang the doorbell, praying that Daniel would answer.

The door opened.

“Come to watch me embarrass myself again?” Daniel slurred, holding a bottle of beer in his hand.

“No,” Johnny said as he took a step inside and closed the door after himself.

“So what are you doing here?” Daniel asked, swaying on his feet.

Johnny took a deep breath, then he reached out and grabbed Daniel, as he said, “I came for this.”

He pushed Daniel against the wall and kissed him, pressing his tongue past his lips and into his mouth.

If Johnny kept his eyes closed it was no different to kissing a chick, he reasoned. As long as he ignored the scratch of stubble against his chin.

Daniel groaned into his mouth, raising his hands and threading his fingers through Johnny's hair as he pulled him closer and kissed him hungrily.

Daniel stopped, squirming away, and putting a hand on Johnny's chest, pushing him away.

“No,” Daniel said. “You don't love me.”

“You took me by surprise,” Johnny said, as he reached out and gripped the front of Daniel's shirt, pulling him closer.

“Bullshit,” Daniel said. “I thought you felt the same way, but you acted like you'd never thought about me like that ever.”

“I'd been ignoring my own feelings for so long I'd gotten used to denying them,” Johnny said desperately. “That's why I acted like that.”

“You really do love me?” Daniel asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Yeah,” Johnny said. “I do.”

Six months.

They'd been together six months now.

Daniel didn't seem to notice or care that Johnny was drunk every time they had sex.

It was what he had to do to get through it.

The fact was that Johnny wasn't gay. He didn't find men attractive. He didn't find Daniel attractive, but a man's hand on his dick was still a hand on his dick, so it looked like he enjoyed the sex at least.

The first time Daniel suggested they try anal Johnny knew he wouldn't be able to get it up, so he let Daniel do him.

It felt strange and awful, but he still came.

The rest of the time, it was just like before. They were like two best friends who just happened to live together and sleep together.

Johnny could still count on Daniel to be there when he needed him. They still taught classes together. They still had a drink on Friday night's and watched movies together, just like before.

It was worth it to keep Terry Silver away, Johnny thought.

“I love you,” Daniel breathed again, his fingers still tenderly brushing the hair at Johnny's temple.

Johnny looked up at him, seeing Daniel's eyes so full of love and care.

It was worth it.

It was worth it to keep Daniel happy and the kids safe.

It was worth it to keep Robby safe.

“I love you too,” Johnny lied.

[ricky-fitness-ukagaka]

Ricky Fitness Ukagaka/ Ghost!!

Hello anyone possibly seeing this!! This blog is going to serve as a documentation of making a ghost of Ricky Fitness, the drummer for the band The Aquabats! I don't really expect this to gain any traction as it's just going to be a place for me to keep all my info together but if you're interested by where this goes by all means please follow along!!

I had the idea for this ghost while I was at work today lol and it's been all I can think about so I really hope I follow through on this

Why Ricky? Years and years ago my stepdad got me into the Aquabats, specifically the Super Show and I was obsessed with it. Immediately Ricky was my favorite, I dressed up as him for halloween one year and actually had an aquabats themed birthday. Then in 2019 I got see them live when they went on tour. After that I sortaaaa forgot about them for a while until I saw them on their most recent Finally tour!! I saw them a few days ago and waow it brought back the obsession FAST!! I actually got to high five Ricky after the show and yea shit was back full force lol. Been binging the super show lately and just finished s2 and I'll move onto the radventure series soon.

I know I could (and probably should) make this about a more and wildly known character but anyone could do that, pretty sure most people aren't making Ricky ghosts so here I am

Timeline- I really have no idea how long this is gonna take as I have never done this lol. I'm still in school and have work so my free time is limited but at the least I would like this to be done before next summer starts. This may be a good or awful estimate of time but again I have no clue so...!

To make this I am using the ghost walkthrough by Zarla the creator of the Undertale AU, Handplates (my fav au🫶). I will link that guide at the bottom.

I haven't officially even started this besides downloading the template but I'm hoping to really start it tomorrow

This specific post will be updated every time I make progress on this . I have little coding experience besides customizing html code on toyhouse so I really don't know how long this is gonna take.

uhhh I think this is it for now so uh If you see this follow my main @sailinginstars 🗣️🗣️ tbh im not too active but ill try to be for this. anyways the guide is this

gn chat i gotta lock in if theres any spelling mistakes ill fix in the morning lol🤞 (07-24-2024)

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do a match-up for Harry Potter! Specifically the Marauders Era.

Female, She/They, Pansexual

Plus size!, but more thighs (and boobs) than anything, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, i have glasses,

My personality is loving, patient, (surprisingly) smart and good at classes, but that's probably bc I'm determined and work hard- I can be really sassy though, nurturing, I have to stick to a semi strict schedule, forgiving, and I guess caring, also im an ambivert!! (I just kinda looked up personality traits and went with what I thought fit me. Bear with me.)

Likes: Reading, writing, SWEATERS, school, candles, blankets, sour candy, chocolate, sunflowers, sunsets, the moon

Dislikes: When my schedule gets completely destroyed, sudden and really big change, people who chew with their mouth open, feeling really embarrassed and like everyone is judging me, olives,

Extra fun facts: I have chronic headaches, bad knee problems in my right knee 😍, if I have an assignment I will always do way too much for it

Hope that's okay and you're okay with doing this, and I hope i did it right!!! Sorry for any spelling mistakes :)

Annos, please never apologize for spelling errors, lol. I don't know if you've read my posts, but I can not spell either. I am incredibly reliant on Grammarly, and my partner makes fun of me for it regularly.

Also, does anyone else pretend/feel like that lady from Mulan when they do these matchups? No, just me. Aight, I'll be in the corner now.

~~~~~MATCH UP~~~~~

Annon, I must match you with the sweetest boy of the tricksters.

Remus Lupin

~~Headcanons~~

This man would bake you and buy you the best chocolates. He will curb your sweet tooth like no tomorrow.

He respects a girl who is not afraid to be herself, and if anyone tries to put you down and make you get in your head, he's not scared to be a big bad wolf ( see what I did there )

He loves it when you can put up with his three headaches. Wait, he means friends.

He would want to study with you all the time, so much so that James, Sirius, and Peter complain about missing their friend.

MANS WOULD WEAR MATCHING SWEATERS PROVE ME WRONG

Remus strikes me as the guy who will get you flowers just because, so expect to be showered with your favorites. However, he always forgets that he should buy you flowers on a holiday.

Though he is afraid of the full moon, watching the skies with you any other time has become an enjoyable pastime, especially to see you light up.

When he has to hide away for the full moon, he makes you a goodie basket to 'remember' him by till he comes back.

If you are ever feeling unwell or hurt, he will carry you up to his dorm and make you comfy in his bed. He will get you all the fixings to cure your ailments. I'm talking hot water bottles, heavy blankets, blackout curtains, water, pain medicine, and, of course, cuddles.

~~~~~Blurb~~~~~

You sat in the library waiting for Remus to arrive for your study date. As you finished your potion essay for him to look over, an exhausted, panting Sirius appeared before you. You looked up at him, amused, "Y/N, I am telling you we need him for Quidditch. Please, please, tell him to skip Hogsmeade this weekend." As Sirius was begging, he got down on his knees.

Around the corner soon came James looking almost as exhausted as the other boy in front of you. You chuckle into your hand, knowing that the Librarian will soon grow tired of the Maurder's antics. "Boys, you know he is his own person, right? What makes you think I have any say." You looked at the boys innocently. With a scoff, Sirius stood, wrapping his arm around James' shoulder. "Y/N, the man is so in love with you that he talks to you in his dreams. Of course, he will listen to you."

Before you could open your mouth again, James and Sirius were on the floor, this time due to a perfectly timed nudge to the back of their knees. Remus looked up at you and smiled softly, "Hi, my sweet. I brought you some treats." Placing down your candy, which he knew you favored, he sat across from you, ready to study.

James popped up from the floor, "Look, Y/N, he's even wearing a matching jumper with you! We have asked to match as a group of friends for ages. You can't tell me this man isn't whipped." You laughed at the remark, watching Remus nudge the back of James' knee again, causing him to collapse.

~~~~~EXTRA~~~~~

(You are looking up at the stars with the whole friend group. Your head is placed in Remus' lap. Peter is asleep lounging on the grass. Sirius, James, and Lily are all leaning back, looking at the stars.)

Y/N: Do you think that when the first people watched the stars, they thought they were crazy when they started moving each night.

Sirius: Wait, do the stars move each night?

James: I thought it was the moon that moved.

Lily: Sometimes it amazes me how you two breathe on your own.

Remus: (rubbing his temples, feeling the headache coming on) I'm glad someone else said it.

I hope you enjoy!!

[alltimefail-sims]

I was originally planning to do a whole section on the April SDX hair drop in my "Urban Homage" kit overview, but that's already a little longer than I originally anticipated... so here we are!

My thoughts under the cut ↓

I am never going to be mad at a free update, especially when they give us new hairs or update old hairs that have been driving the struggle bus for far too long. I personally love the color additions in both hairs and think the swatches are the perfect amount of vibrant and eye-catching.

I know people wish we had a color wheel or that the ombre additions could at least be in a different section (added on as an accessory like cc hairs do or even using the system we got with Cats & Dogs) but for now... this is what we got, and for what we got... I think these combinations are well done and effective. After I tried the duo-tone puffs on Ta'Nia, there was simply no going back to her original hairstyle (the braid buns from the Growing Together EP), and while I personally never used the old basegame braid style on the left due to it feeling dated and half-baked in the way that all basegame hairs do, I feel the duo-tone version refreshed it in a way that gave it new life! I'll get a lot of use out of both of these hairs, and I'm hopeful that they will fix the fact that toddlers have the color dyed puffs, but children do not...🤦. We already know it's not TS4 without some kind of bug or mistake though lol.

All in all, I'm more excited for the new hairstyle that they plan to drop in July (why so long from now ughhh) but the update on these hairs are a welcome addition to my game.

As always, I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts! Urban Homage review to come either late tonight or tomorrow afternoon!

[paleinc]

work and health vent and i'll take external validation because i keep talking myself out of it and missed my therapy appointment last week (overslept and missed it for the first time lol)

i'm agonizing over wanting a month off of work for fmla/stress leave when my coworker just had 3 months of short term disability and is on a part time schedule upon returning

i get so scared and tell myself i don't matter, and that i'll get yelled at for saying i need to look after my health over productivity (in a 2-person dev team bc uhh whoever budgeted this team did badly. everyone agrees that going from 8 to 1 dev(s) was a bad fucking choice but. contracts!) but i'm making small mistakes and need my body to just. stop. feeling so stressed out.

and ugh last session my therapist said, "well HE got accomodations, so they should be accomodating you too."

my behavior is so depressing. i'm in a shitty stressful spot and made progress in therapy, but therapy can't fix a shitty work situation. i need to stop beating myself up over it and move on. but i keep beating myself up for WANTING time off bc i've been in freeze mode for months. i sound crazy, but wanting a break from work and this problem coworker feels like trying to leave my abusive home life, except my wife and her mom aren't there to physically remove me from the situation. i feel small and like i don't matter, and no one wants me to rest or heal -- they just want me around to make their lives easier.

my deputy PM isn't my mom, he's probably just venting when complaining about said coworker (we're hiring someone else for him to train and manager's hinted at wanting me to train her partially bc problem employee is a problem). my knee-jerk reaction is to fix that problem. but i can't. he's been a problem employee for 2 years now and i'm getting judged for my lack of developmemt work (i'm also in meetings and handle many other smaller non-dev tasks). also HE'S the manager. i'm happy to give him insight on the project, but i don't want to manage people and do his job for him. he can leave if he doesn't want to deal with problem employee too.

also problem employee's wife (works at the same company) just got a juicy promotion. so i'm feeling pretty fucking resentful. that makes up for him being part time now, huh.

anyway, tomorrow i have a meeting w a manager who's supposed to look out for me (and he's been very receptive to my complaints), so i'll be able to exprees this shit to him tomorrow. this is what i get for struggling to communicate with people -- abruptly maybe taking leave.

then again, whatever, coworker didn't give much notice either.

[skipblebee]

Need to introduce you guys to a silly little au I made once for giggles but is now very near and dear to my heart

I call it The Smallkin AU and it's basically a reverse height au with Little My and Snufkin (hence the name! Honestly I came up with the name when I first got the idea for this au and got used to it so now that's the au name 💀)

Anywayz, loreee 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Alicia and Little My are going on a walk together when she mentions that she's learnt a new spell that can make things bigger! Little My being curious asks her if it'll work on a living creature and she responds that she's not sure. My then asks her to try it on her. After all, what's the harm in trying? Alicia is hesitant but after LOADS of persuasion from Little My, agrees to try it.

Snufkin's walking along the path, a bit away from these two, when he notices them. He's just finished fishing and decides to surprise them by saying hello!

Which was a nice thought! Really, it was! Except- Alicia had just started reciting the spell, and when Snufkin ran up to them to say hello she hadn't really seen him and had gotten startled, resulting in her messing up the spell and causing Little My and Snufkin to exchange heights!!!!!!!!!!

The au is just Tall My using her new height to wreak absolute havoc, Smallkin wondering how he'll get the fish he caught back to his tent, and Alicia Shinji Posing™ in a corner while trying to figure out how to fix this without getting in trouble.

This is an old drawing! I have some more doodles for this au that I'll probably post tomorrow or maybe later sometime this week cuz it's getting pretty late now! I hope u like the au! :]

I’ll fix any grammatical mistakes in this post tomorrow lol gn!!

[mariska]

spent the past few days self-teaching myself all these various ways of hopefully improving the overall enjoy-ability of my twitch game streams both for anyone watching them but also for me actually hosting and playing, and have been watching/reading tutorials on how to connect both my specific game capture card i own and my separate microphone (been trying to use the actual semi-professional one i own for recording music in these tests lately since it makes my voice sound WAY better to listen to audio quality-wise than just using the lil airplane pilot type mic built into the side of my headset for obvious reasons lol) and headphones into all the necessary input/outputs and last night i finally started making some decent progress in actually understanding what im doing a little and fixing some mistakes and even slapped together a cute pink and rainbow colored overlay theme for my streams with a nice lil box for the game visuals.

and when i went to sleep last night i was like aw man i feel like i've just started understanding how to make most of this work well but its way too late for me to actually start a test live stream now. thats ok i'll go live tomorrow!

it is now Tomorrow. and i woke up. literally incapacitated from pain because my fuckin dumbass endometriosis heard i wanted to do something fun and social and was like

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Thursday 20th July 2023, 01.34am

I am feeling okay enough right now to write to you, to finally reply to you properly anyway. I've really missed being able to just do that.

Don't worry about your internet being shitty and going out and therefore not being able to stream, I figured there may have been some kind of issue or maybe you just weren't feeling up to it when I didn't see your name pop up on twitch. It's okay, I get it. I hope it's fixed now though and you can use the internet again at the very least.

I really did like how you handwrote me a note for my birthday. It's really personal, I love small gestures like that so much. And thank you for saying I looked beautiful in my outfits, I really liked them. And those cowboy boots are absolutely coming with me to London next month. I've got some ideas of some cool outfits I'm gonna wear while I'm down there. Because weirdly being in a big city like that makes me wanna look cool, probably because there's more people or something lol. Or maybe it's just because I feel like I can be more myself there than in my shitty little town. Who knows. And no, they didn't give me my tiara on a satin pillow, although I wish they had now you've mentioned it haha. I cannot BELIEVE you've never had Biscoff anything, E. I am truly and completely OFFENDED lol. Not really, but it's so bloody good, you have to try it! I love Biscoff milkshakes too, ughhhh so good! I do get what you mean about the too much sugar thing. I actually have to go to the dentist tomorrow morning cause I've cracked a tooth and it's really sensitive. Luckily it's one in the back, so it's not noticeable at all.

I really do feel like he was around me on my birthday. I kept just getting that like.. feeling? Idk if that makes sense. But I just felt his presence and it was comforting. I like when I feel like he's nearby me. It doesn't hurt as much during those times.

I really do hope you are starting to feel a bit less brain foggy and a little better now. I'm really sorry you've been feeling like that. I know how horrible and shitty that can be, cause I've been there. But I am so fucking proud of you for doing those little small things to change your habits. And yes you're right, don't force them. Because you really are less likely to actually make any significant or proper changes that you'll stick to if you force it. Small changes and taking things one step at a time is absolutely the right way to go about it and I'm so happy that you know that too. I totally get it with the sleep too, I've been feeling a lot like that recently as well. It's probably been stress on my part but I can absolutely relate to it. But please don't ever feel like you've failed. Because you're not a failure, you never will be. You're human and we sometimes go through rough patches and make mistakes, that's just completely normal and all part of the human experience. It's how we learn from those mistakes and get through those hard times that really show our strengths and I know you are absolutely full of those. You have so many strengths that I'm not sure you even know about yourself, E. You're totally right in doing things when you're awake and not limiting yourself because oh it's late or oh it's early or whatever. Obviously I get you don't wanna be noisy or whatever at night, but there's always ways of working around things like that and doing what you can even if it is late at night. I've definitely been there myself (sometimes recently too where I haven't been able to sleep at all, so instead of just laying in bed and ruminating on my thoughts, I'll get up and do something. Even if it's just washing the dishes from the night before or folding some laundry or sorting through some things or something like that.

I really do hope you managed to get your doctor's appointments sorted out though, because you're right, those are really important and I know I definitely don't want you to miss those or not get the help you need and end up sick or in pain. I'm sure you don't too, you know what I mean (hopefully). I just care about you a whole lot and want you to be safe and well and as healthy and happy as possible.

I totally get the feeling like streaming is a chore when you're brain foggy or got some stuff going on. It's partially why I stopped streaming. I really should pick it back up at some point, I wasn't far from having 200 followers and I really enjoyed doing it actually. I think I prefer playing games with people on stream however, because I sometimes don't know what to say when no one's there or no ones talking in the chat lol. I do miss it, because it is fun, maybe I'll do a little one off stream one day. I'll let you know if I do, it'd be nice to see you there if you weren't busy on that day. Doing all the alerts and stuff was probably one of my favourite parts of streaming. I really enjoyed all that and even had an old friend I went to music college with make me some custom alerts. I think I still have them all saved on my OBS and stuff. I will say, I did go back to see your vod the other day but it's gone I think. Idk, I just kinda.. missed your voice. Whatever game you play on stream, it'll be fun. I know it will. I can't wait for more tentacleman and cyberpunk, when you're ready to of course. Please don't rush yourself or force yourself if you're not feeling up to it. I can wait, I'll always wait. Beach House are amazing. I do love them myself. Space Song is my all time favourite song too.

Last Wednesday was incredibly hard. It was such a difficult day for me. At one point I nearly just crumbled to the ground. I did read your post that evening when I got home. And I'm so thankful you posted it/were thinking of me at the time it was all happening. I really really am so grateful and God.. it just really fucking made my heart grow ten times. I really liked it, it made me feel all.. fuzzy or something. Your post really did help me too. I've been reading it over and over again. But's been so hard, E. Doing everything myself for dad. I've had no help from my mum or anyone really. Infact, my mum hasn't spoke to me since her birthday which was 4/5 days before the funeral. She didn't even text me to say she hoped things went well. I think you can see why I'm not really talking to her right now. My friend Sophie came to my dad's funeral with me which I was really grateful. She held my hand the whole way through and kept telling me how well I was doing and how he'd be so proud of me. I really hope he is. I still don't feel like it's real. I feel like it's all a bad dream and I just can't wake up from it. I keep looking at the order of service and the pictures and all his things sitting in my spare bedroom and I just keep thinking to myself "what the fuck?". I think now that everything is said and done, all the formalities are done and (most of) the paperwork and legal stuff is done and now it's all just like.. final.. it's still not sunk in. I still cannot believe that I won't ever hear my dad picking up the phone and saying "Hiya gorgeous" or how he'd always give me a kiss down the phone after saying goodbye before he hung up. My grief is sitting so heavy within me and I am trying so hard to not let it destroy me, but sometimes it's just so hard. I miss him so fucking much. I'll miss him for the rest of my life. I want to live my life for him and have a good one, because that's all he said that he wanted for me. He just wanted me to be happy and have a good life. But I know I'll always be missing a huge part of me, because he won't be there. He's the one person who was always there, no matter what, no matter if we'd argued or fallen out or whatever, if I needed him he was there. He's the one person who's never up and left and never came back. And now he's gone. He's been snatched away from me in such a cruel way and my heart hurts so much when I think of it all. I'm trying so hard to keep going, I really am, but everything just feels so... Hard right now. I'm desperately trying to look forward to going to see Joji next month in London and the little long weekend I have planned down there (I still don't know what I'm doing really apart from the concert, but I may just wing it). I know he would want me to go and enjoy myself and have fun, he wouldn't want me not to go or not to enjoy myself. Like I said, he just wanted me to have a good life and I want to do things for him, if not for myself.

I go back to work next Monday, I was supposed to go back this week and I did technically but.. I think I went back too soon. So I think after this week, I'll be in a much better space mentally to go back. I just need to rest and take time for me, try and process some of all that's happened, at least a little bit. I really hope this letter finds you well, I know it's a little long but I hope it wasn't too much of a boring or long read. I really can't wait to hear from you again soon, E.

I'm gonna put the video of all the bikes that showed up for my dad on the day. It really overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I thought I'd only have 3 or 4. But nope. A tonne showed up. And I have a couple of mine and my dad's friend's to thank for that. I hope you don't think it's weird or strange or anything.. I just.. idk it was nice to see how many people cared about my dad. I'll also show you the flowers. I organised them myself and chose them all. I thought they were really pretty. I'll also show you my nails I had especially done, with his initial and his favourite colour. We all wore yellow for him on the day too.

"But I miss you more each day you're not with me, and just know when I sleep that I'm dreaming of the only place I wanna be.."

[rose-m4ry]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ September 14. 2024

"It's almost halloween. I haven't done shit this year."

Done ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ

♥︎ Wrote A.P 3 glossary

♥︎ Wrote a little bit of the AP 3 notes

Okay listen. I've been seriously struggling this past week and I can sense that I'm falling back into old habits and mentalities, but the one thing I haven't incorporated into my belief system in all the years that I've failed myself is that growth is a constant, and you can always choose it regardless of the conditions.

I'm gonna be fully honest and say that I am fucking scared as shit to go back to square one, because this mode of thinking where I attribute responsibility for myself every step of the way, where failure isn't the #1 expectation or end goal ever is completely new to me. The assumption's always been either "I'm going to have an easy time with this forever and fix my life" or "I have a limited amount of time before I make a single mistake and everything goes to shit forever."

I'm taking more of a middle-ground now where I'm acknowledging that I might fail, but I'll keep trying to get better and do what I was trying to do anyways, try to adjust to it and all. I've read a post somewhere that said people with ADHD particularly struggle with forming habits, which I feel is very accurate to myself. Athough I am undiagnosed, I heavily suspect that I have inattentive ADHD from hearing diagnosed ADHD-inattentives talk about their experiences.

I thik in general, I've just had a very hard time reconciling that habits, for me, must be a forever thing and not something that you just do for a week or month and then automate in your head. Now I'm accepting that this may be a fact and I have to deal with it and it's hopeful, but also there's a lot of doubt and fear on whether I'll be able to do it at all.

But I'll never know it if I don't at least attempt it. The current thing keeping me going is my support network and the idea of "rejecting fate" lol. I'm fighting tooth and nail with the narrative. If I'm doomed then I'll leave my claw marks in the soil.

But anyways, it's getting late, I guess my conclusion for tonight is:

☆ Keep going. Keep trying and see where it goes, you are learning, this is all trial and error, but just keep adjusting and finding out what works and what doesn't

☆ Adjust the schedule for tomorrow due to unexpected changes. I like to consider myself a flexible person in terms of time, althoigh schedules give me a good sense of order and comfort.

[hibernatinglikeabear]

Day (we're still here)

It's been weeks since I visited and wrote down my thoughts. It will be all over the place most likely.

Similar to day one, the passion is there and the motivation is there but the habit is nowhere to be found. This is why daily journaling is on top of my "goals" when I decided I want to improve myself. Because I know if I can be consistent with journaling, I could apply that to the rest of goals I want to accomplish.

Despite knowing the importance of consistency, I stopped writing at Day 3 and I ask myself "that's it? that's the limit of your effort?", because if this is my best effort for self-improvement then this journey is going nowhere.

(Note: Iris by Goo Doo Dolls is playing while I'm writing this part and it just made this experience more dramatic lol, "I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'll understand" ey)

Working a corporate job can really take the soul out of you by the end of the day, which makes it difficult to have energy for anything else. However that's also the point, isn't it. I don't want this life to start and end with work, while the only activity I have is doom scrolling. I have finally decided to set an alarm to journal, at first I want it to be natural and not feel like a task or chore, but if in order to be consistent I have to be reminded, I'll do it.

______

Tomorrow is Monday and I've been faking confidence and excitement to go to work with myself. So question of the day, "How do people bounce back after a tough learning curve?"

I experienced a tough learning curve after making a mistake at work, the mistake could have been avoided if I had better judgement. I'm struggling with anxiety because there's nothing I'm more afraid of than being perceived, I'm also starting to have doubts about people and what they actually thought about me.

Aside from faking confidence, how do I deal with this emotion when the aftermath of the mistake is still visible but you can't fix it yourself? How can you bounce back better and more positive?

Usually I start the day with, "This day will be great because what else can it be". While I read somewhere that they have a semi-opposite mindset, "some days will not be great or perfect and you have to accept that and be ready to bounce back". I really can't figure out what's a better way to start a day with, unrealistic positive mindset or realistic mindset.

BEARTUNES:

A journal corner where I pick a random song I know nothing about and write my understanding of the lyrics. I have no background in music, I just like them.

"Yeah all they'll become is friends", seems like the person is confused on what he wants. He ended his relationships thinking he doesn't need it because he can manage being alone, however, he also desires of "finding a home".

Clearly, my analyzation skills need work. I'm not confident with my understanding, he's confused... and so am I. Also it's late at night.