#I'll fix it ^_^

[noseboopsanddandelionwishes]

Thank you for the reply to my post where I mused over my romantic orientation. I used to think I was panromantic because I do fall in love with people and have the physiological signs of feeling love/attraction (albeit not sexual) to others.

I wonder if my desire for a romantic partner/romance was programmed in me through society. I go long spans of time where I am not sexually active or romantically involved with people. I wonder if after being single I put these expectations on myself to partner up because of society and not because it is something I actually want.

Lately when I think about dating, I feel overwhelmed because although I want company, I don’t want to do romantic gestures or have romantic gestures performed for me. When I look back on my life I can see a pattern where I’m mostly performing roles and maybe the feelings I have are inauthentic.

I’m having a hard time parsing what is true and right for me and what was programmed by all the Disney movies I watched growing up. Doesn’t help that I was assigned female at birth and so had that happily ever after shit pumped into me and then when I realized I didn’t have to be a princess and that I could be someone’s prince I just internalized little boy messages at a young age.

I need to do a lot of meditation but if you have materials I can read or online resources like forums or something I’m open. Thank you

Sorry for the delay in writing back, I have had a chaotic couple of days!

I feel you on the "is this just programmed in and not really me?" question. So many of my relationships (and attempts to talk normally with other people) were affected by the feeling that everybody was romantic, and I must be, too, and I was so scared of being misinterpreted or accidentally getting attention I didn't want.

Meeting one friend, (who ironically, actually did want to date me) helped me a lot. That friend could tell the difference, for themselves, between platonic and romantic. They did/said/generally vibed things that I had thought had to be reserved for romantic relationships, but they said were platonic for them. Between dismantling my preconceived notions on what was romantic and platonic, and inspiring me to do a deep dive into my own classification, their way of always taking me at my word as a friend and purposefully not misreading anything I did as an invitation for romantic (despite wanting a romantic relationship) showed me I didn't have to be afraid of accidentally showing romantic intent - that with decent people, it would be properly interpreted, and boundaries upheld. All I had to do was know for myself what I wanted. It also let me know I could have complex, encouraging, supportive relationships without it being romantic. Having a relationship that had open honest communication and that built me up was like my number one reason for wanting a romantic relationship, and realizing I didn't have to sacrifice what I was comfortable with to get the support I needed, started breaking down the walls in my head of what society seemed to think was the format and restrictions for relationships.

It took me about 1-2 years of hundreds of pages of writing, hours of thinking, lots of reading about aromantic experiences, and reading posts from other people figuring out their aromantic identities for me to find out what fit for me. It was a little agonizing. But now I feel so much more confident in the relationships I am in and am no longer scared about a future of being in a style of relationship I don't want. I used to be scared it was mandatory, or that I would have no community without it. I am not anymore.

Also, stopping watching shows and movies that had romantic themes in it that I wasn't comfortable with was pretty awesome and helped me realize it didn't *have* to be a part of my life.

I am not sure if any of this is helpful. Or if that ended up mostly being a ramble. :,D

Oh and also I highly recommend the Split Attraction Model - hearing about that helped me understand some things about myself so quickly and simply, and was not something I had ever heard of before joining aro spaces! And now I can use it to define for myself what I would like, and sort of categorize every feeling and attractions - both that I have and see portrayed - in a more nuanced separation.

Resources: Aromantic official blog here on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/aromanticofficial Types of Attraction: https://typesofattraction.carrd.co/ (I disagree with their definition of romantic, but otherwise a handy thing) Mega list of types of aromanticism: https://www.aromanticism.org/en/all-terms (I don't find this helpful before knowing your type, but if you have an idea of the type you are looking for you can find the term after - otherwise, possibly very overwhelming) AroAce Cafe on Discord: https://discord.gg/aroacecafe (invaluable community; lots of pinned posts on common questions and lots of people who have gone or are going through their journey; there are channels just for people who are questioning, even; can search and read, and ask, and generally hang out and observe)

A Pinterest board I am starting https://www.pinterest.com/gdreamy/aroace-education/ (it's woefully underequipped at the moment, but just in case thought I'd link it in case one of the pins leads you to another resource)

[eliounora]

the besties three drinks before ruining aragorn's wedding

[lemon-zesttt]

"Oh, how I love white Christmas (❁´◡`❁)" I say, full of delusion. Sweating my ass off in a country that doesn't even snow

[nipuni]

Ten! my love 🥰

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on Jan 1st!

[egophiliac]

should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔

also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real

[pseudophan]

rpf is fine they say, just in case you missed the memo the first ten times

[dilfosaur]

i can't believe my neopets lived long enough to see a new plot

[bubbarnes]

“... yeah, I think Bucky could be a great dad.”

[ficwip]

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

How many fics have you worked on since January?

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

What ships captured your heart?

What characters captured your heart?

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

What were your go-to writing songs?

What was the hardest fic to title?

What's your favorite title of the year?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share your funniest line

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

What would you like to write next year?

[lazylittledragon]

dedicating a whole page of my flash book to the special boy <33

[grey-wardens]

I hear you found a new lover.

[yayee-pspsps]

Kiss kiss fall in love

[calamaricollie]

Behold, my sappiest (and longest) Lari comic yet, I hope ya'll enjoy some tooth-rottingly sweet fluff UvU

More of me rambling under the cut:

Honestly I was so worried about posting this one, I wrote it when I was really needing some comfort so it turned out very sweet, less humorous than my other shitten stuff, but hey if you've watched and liked my animatic that's what you're here for anyways >:)

As much as I love feral Nari I just love writing him being all soft and chilled out tbh, this cat has been fully domesticated over years of TLC (Tender Lamb Care), I just hope others like it as much as I do too :p

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[vamp-bites]

I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know

(I'll Be Your Mirror by Nico and The Velvet Underground)

[vault81]

I've finished my Fallout OC Character Sheet! this is my first time making something like this, but I like how it turned out!

PSD below cut!

Compressed Version!