#I'll draw someone else eventually I promise | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

causeitsagame · 1 year ago

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UNTITLED ANGSTPROMPT THE FOURTH (OF FOUR)

(At some point, I will find a real title and put it up on AO3. Watch this space!)

My thought when posting the previous chapter: "I don't want to draw out a resolution too far, so I'll promise that there is only one more chapter to go." Me, finishing this chapter while upholding that intention and seeing it brush the 9k word mark: "Well,"

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Hajime didn't know what to do.

That wasn't supposed to be possible. He'd been warped and molded and repurposed into the world's Ultimate Goddamn Hope, and that Hope was supposed to have all the answers. But he didn't. He hadn't been able to stop the assault on Jabberwock, and the desperate sacrifice play there had been made by someone else.

Plus, he hadn't even known that particular sacrifice could happen. Talents could only be studied if they were demonstrated, and this wasn't the sort of thing that got shown off to Hope's Peak. And so now, Fuyuhiko was bruised and beaten and hollowed out, and Peko didn't know anything more about how those memories were lost, and Hajime didn't know what to do.

He leaned against the ship's railing and studied the water, unsure of what he was looking for.

Eventually, a voice spoke up. "Hajime?"

He glanced over his shoulder at Ryota. "Yeah?"

Ryota pointed to an insulated travel mug. "It's time for this, again. Do you want to…?" He was the one on the ship who wasn't taken much aback by Fuyuhiko not recognizing him, and he'd made fully half of the infirmary visits so far.

Hajime shook his head. Inside that mug was broth from a pot that Teruteru kept simmering. The calories were important; the warmth, more so. Due to injuries, malnutrition, and low weight, Mikan had diagnosed poikilothermia, or an inability to regulate body temperature. She planned to be in the infirmary constantly until it resolved, and that was a good enough excuse not to be there himself. "No. Thanks."

It probably made him a despicable coward, but he couldn't see Fuyuhiko's condition and know that he was responsible for it. He couldn't watch Fuyuhiko look at him like a total stranger and know that it was because Fuyuhiko had cared more about Hajime than about himself. If Hajime had an idea of what to do next, he'd face down all of that in service of getting it fixed… but he didn't know what to do.

Hajime shook his head again, and Ryota silently walked away.

Memories had been burnt away in torture's incinerator and he was the motivation behind it all. How was he supposed to handle that? Seriously, how in the hell was he supposed to manage his thoughts, his emotions? The gutpunch of nausea that gripped him every time his imagination wandered to the infirmary?

Memory loss aside, this wasn't like Izuru. Fuyuhiko hadn't been scoured away and turned into someone else. Logically, that was a huge relief; emotionally, it somehow made it worse. He was still totally him, voice and expressions and powerful personality. There wasn't anyone to identify and retrieve. He was Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, the same as ever… but he just had absolutely no idea who Hajime was.

There were always more tasks to handle on the ship, but no one bothered Hajime as he looked over the edge. He stayed there staring over the water as the sun's reflections moved overhead, and then toward the west.

"Hajime?"

The voice behind him sent a spike of adrenaline rushing. "Is everything okay?"

Mikan nodded, seemingly without any emergency coming along with her. "He's doing better today, I think. But I just… I'm sorry, but I've been with him for twenty-two hours, now. Could you maybe—"

"Oh, God, sorry," Hajime interrupted as he caught up. Now that he bothered to pay attention to anything besides his own misery, he could notice the dark circles under Mikan's eyes and the way her fingertips trembled from exhaustion. He hadn't set foot in the infirmary since the last time she'd taken a sleeping break, and so he hadn't realized how long that'd been.

"No, I'm sorry!" she instantly countered, and held up one of her shaking hands. "I shouldn't need to sleep, but I just nearly dropped a—"

"I've got him," Hajime promised Mikan, and clutched that hand. "Go rest."

She nodded. "I'm only doing a few hours at a time, so I'll be back soon!"

"That's…" Sighing, Hajime let her go. It was probably no use ordering her to look after herself with more than a nap here and there. Well. Time to check on Fuyuhiko.

Peko was waiting outside the infirmary door, and looked as tired as Mikan but far more composed. "You did come," she said with mild surprise.

That hadn't been judgment, but it sure felt like it. "Yeah. Sorry." Hajime ran a hand across his face. "It's just been hard."

"I can only imagine," Peko agreed, with what sounded like real sympathy.

"You look like you could use some sleep, too. I'll be here, if you want to go."

Peko hesitated, but nodded gratefully and stepped away. She turned to look over her shoulder as she left, like she was verifying that Hajime would actually manage to set foot inside the infirmary.

He did so before he could lose his nerve, and was relieved to see Fuyuhiko sleeping. Good. No conversation, no lack of recognition.

First, Hajime reached for a thermometer and aimed it at Fuyuhiko's forehead. Cooler than he should be, so it was no wonder his fists were clenched around a blanket that couldn't keep him warm enough. Hajime reached over and tapped a message window, calling for more hot broth from the galley.

Fuyuhiko was watching him when he turned back.

Hajime jolted, and took a step away before he could help himself.

"So," Fuyuhiko said wryly, and tilted his head toward where his chart hung on the wall. "The guy responsible for all of that." To Mikan's dismay, she'd run out of room when she started listing his injuries. She'd needed to add multiple pages.

Swallowing, Hajime said in a thick, heavy voice, "Yeah. Guess so."

"You never told me why I apparently gave so much of a shit about you. And neither will anyone else." What good humor was in Fuyuhiko's expression flattened into nothing. "You'd think I could get a simple question answered, after everything."

"We…" Hajime looked away. "I'm your best friend." That was the simplest answer.

"Bullshit. I don't have friends."

"Yeah. That's what you told me." It was easier to talk if he didn't meet Fuyuhiko's gaze, and so Hajime kept his attention on the wild landscape beyond the portholes. "But after everything, we were friends. And you realized Peko was actually your friend, too, outside of the clan. And there are other friends here, too. We all care about you."

"'After everything?' After what 'everything?'" Annoyed, Fuyuhiko snapped, "Mind looking at me when I'm talking to you?"

Miserable, Hajime turned back toward Fuyuhiko and the nearly countless injuries he'd taken for Hajime's sake. "After getting away from the… the bad things that you remember. We're all together after that, and we're your friends."

"And you're my 'best friend.'"

"Yeah."

"Who I did this for." Fuyuhiko lifted a forearm, showing off what remained of intricate tattoos. They were marred by a twisted burn scar and jagged, mismatched lines where some deep cuts hadn't healed together in proper alignment.

Hajime closed his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath. "I tried to stop you. You wouldn't listen to me."

"Must've been a reason for it, beyond you being my 'best friend.'" The words came out twisted, mocking. "Why'd I do it?"

"You shouldn't have," Hajime said morosely. "I'm not worth what you went through."

"Not worth it? What, I acted like an idiot when I signed up for this? You're saying that I fucked up?"

Hajime clenched his jaw and didn't respond. He didn't know what to say and every word was just making things worse. The two of them had talked so easily to each other that he didn't know how to handle this reset.

"So," Fuyuhiko said, still with the mocking tone he'd used on Hajime. He looked expectantly toward the new arrival waiting with his latest broth delivery. "Are you one of my best friends, too?"

Hajime turned to the door and winced. Of all people to have gotten that message he'd sent.

Mahiru paused, then said in measured tones, "I wouldn't use that term, no." She stepped into the infirmary and presented Fuyuhiko with his latest meal.

He didn't take the offered mug. "Huh. You're the first person who's had any sort of problem with me," Fuyuhiko noted with genuine curiosity. "Everyone's just been shoveling bullshit to keep me happy. So, what's your deal? What'd you do?"

"What did I do?" Mahiru repeated, uncertain.

"When we were all… y'know."

"Ah. Right." Mahiru set the mug down next to him when he refused to take it. "Propaganda, basically."

"Makes sense. You're…" Fuyuhiko squinted at her, then looked abruptly pleased as his scrambled mind put something into order. "Photography, right? Koizumi?"

She brightened. "Oh! You do remember things. It sounded like you'd forgotten everything, but I guess not. That's great!"

Hajime looked miserably at the floor and said nothing.

"Great?" Fuyuhiko echoed. "I thought you didn't give a shit."

Mahiru perched on the edge of a nearby counter. "We… didn't get along for a long time, but by now, we do. We'll never be each other's first choice to spend time with, but we're honestly fine."

"Fair enough." Fuyuhiko considered her, then asked with a wicked grin, "What happened? You sound like you're dancing around land mines."

Uneasy, Mahiru darted her gaze toward Hajime. "Does he know?" she asked in a strained whisper.

"No, I don't think so," Hajime whispered back. "Probably needed to forget about the whole process."

"What are you two whispering about?" Fuyuhiko demanded.

Mahiru inhaled. "Okay. You're going to find this out, so let me just tell you. To stop being those awful people, we went through a virtual reality simulation. But it went wrong and people started killing each other."

"Virtual," Fuyuhiko repeated without any gravity, clearly picturing some sort of small-scale experience. "So, what, you killed me?"

Mahiru blinked at him hard, then scowled.

Unconcerned, Fuyuhiko corrected to, "Or I killed you?"

"You were going to," Mahiru admitted. "But Peko stepped in."

"Well. Makes sense." Fuyuhiko grinned more broadly and honestly than a face that injured should be able to. "Guess that explains why we're not each other's favorite people, huh?"

Mahiru couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Well, obviously. Anyway, drink your broth. You're supposed to have it while it's hot."

Still smirking at her, Fuyuhiko reached for the insulated mug and lifted it like he was making a toast, then took a drink. She apparently took that as both thanks and farewell, and left the infirmary with light steps.

Hajime stared after her. Fuyuhiko was getting along better with Mahiru than him? Mahiru?! What the hell was going on?

"I'll get some more sleep," Fuyuhiko announced when he'd finished. "So you can stop looking ready to shit yourself."

Hajime could argue with that assessment, but he wouldn't make a very good job of it. With fresh sighs, he stared out the porthole until Fuyuhiko had fallen asleep, then waited aimlessly for Mikan's return.

Days passed like that.

Fuyuhiko's purple bruises faded to green and yellow. Thinner cuts disappeared into barely-there scars, while deeper gouges healed under Mikan's stitches. The hollows under his eyes and cheekbones didn't look quite as cavernous, and he finally managed to sleep through the night without waking up shivering. But he never recognized Hajime.

Hajime Hinata did have a talent that Hope's Peak had never cared about, and that was caring about people. But he wasn't allowed to use it, now. Izuru Kamukura had every talent on the planet. But none of them were any good, here.

He couldn't take this any more, Hajime told himself as he stared at nothing. Fuyuhiko had graduated to actual food, but with the scope of his lingering injuries, he still stayed in the infirmary. That meant that he yet needed to be brought his meals, and once Mahiru had held a successful conversation with him, everyone else was willing to try.

"You lied to me!" Kazuichi insisted. He was next to Fuyuhiko while Hajime stood just outside the door, but voices carried.

Fuyuhiko shrugged and slid a spoon into the thick, hearty stew he'd been handed. "Probably, yeah."

Kazuichi gasped, betrayed.

"You're easy to fool and you panic in a crisis," Fuyuhiko continued. "I remember that much. And you want to believe in people."

Though Kazuichi's offense deepened with the first two additions, the last one softened his outrage. "Well, yeah. I didn't know how you were going to get out of it, but when you said you had a plan to save everyone, I believed you. One hundred percent."

Fuyuhiko smirked. "As expected."

"Jerk," Kazuichi snorted, but the easy back-and-forth had him happier than he'd been ever since they saw the invading forces on the radar. "Hey, so, what else do you remember about me?"

Fuyuhiko made Kazuichi wait until he'd chewed and swallowed a mouthful. "That's a pretty damn big ask. Narrow the scope a little."

"Okay." Kazuichi screwed up his face in thought. "What's the first thing you remember about me after we woke up?"

"Woke up?" Fuyuhiko echoed.

"On the island."

He shrugged. "I got rid of all of that. People have told me there was a program, but I must've thought it was too risky to know about."

"Oh." Dismayed, Kazuichi considered, then tried again. "Uh, okay… what about when I showed up to class in a suit?"

Staring at him for a long, considering moment, Fuyuhiko abruptly laughed. "Fuck, you looked ridiculous. To 'impress Miss Sonia,' right?"

Kazuichi grinned, delighted. "I saw you go off to handle some family business, and you looked a lot cooler than in your uniform. I thought maybe it'd work for me, too."

"It didn't," Fuyuhiko said, then rolled his gaze thoughtfully upward. "Heh. Guess there's more in there than I thought. Even if it's nothing that really matters."

"No, this matters. It matters like you wouldn't believe!" Cheerfully, Kazuichi clapped him on the shoulder. "I'll let you eat, all right?"

"Finally," Fuyuhiko agreed, but with no real rancor.

Still in bright spirits, Kazuichi moved for the door, only to process that Hajime had been listening in with an increasingly gutted expression. "Uh. Sorry, man," he whispered, and hurried down the corridor.

Well. The good news was that Fuyuhiko was feeling better. His pain tolerance was beyond description, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it. Now that he was on the mend, and his pain steadily ebbed and his body again functioned like it should, his overall mood had followed suit. That'd opened him up to bits of nostalgic connection with the people brave enough to try it.

The bad news, Hajime thought as stepped away to let Fuyuhiko eat in privacy, was exactly the same as ever. To Fuyuhiko, Hajime was still as much of a blank void as what he'd been turned into during the Kamukura Project.

Had Mahiru really been the one to set this off? She'd practically skipped into the mess hall and announced that Fuyuhiko had remembered specifics about her, and that sent a jolt of optimism across the entire group. Which made sense. It was logical. But it still just seemed so odd that she—of all people—had been the first ray of real hope for Fuyuhiko.

Of course, Fuyuhiko had clearly appreciated that Mahiru had been the first 'stranger' to be honest with him about any darker topics. Maybe there was a lesson in that. Hajime waited, and considered, and eventually decided. He steeled his nerves and walked into the infirmary. Without preamble, he asked, "So. You really want to know why you did this for me?"

Fuyuhiko blinked. "Obviously," he said and set aside his empty bowl. Finally, he looked interested in something that Hajime had to say.

How to approach this? "When we were at Hope's Peak," Hajime slowly began, and took a chair near Fuyuhiko, "I got experimented on."

"Experimented?" Fuyuhiko repeated. His brow furrowed. "How?"

"They wanted me to be able to do more things," Hajime summarized, neither wanting to get bogged down in the details nor to relive his own horrors by doing so. "It involved a lot of surgery and some… other stuff."

Fuyuhiko's gaze grew increasingly curious as he studied the scars running across Hajime's forehead. "'Do more things?' What can you do, then?"

"Anything." Fuyuhiko's curiosity and good mood vanished at the seemingly flippant reply, and Hajime insisted, "Seriously, anything. That was the point of the project. Medicine, combat, languages… anything. And they did some physical development work to support all of those talents, too."

Fuyuhiko waited with obvious incredulity, but did look impressed when Hajime reached for a small dentist's mirror and bent its metal handle as easily as if it'd been a plastic straw. "Well, shit. Looks handy."

"Yeah. In theory, I could even try to fix your memories." Fuyuhiko also looked interested in that, but Hajime shook his head. He'd seen an answer to that question very quickly, but it had come with the simultaneous, gutting realization that there was no possible way to get access to what he'd need. And so, it hadn't really been an answer at all. "I can't actually do that," he clarified. "Ten different navies would be on us before we docked the ship."

Disappointed, but not surprised, Fuyuhiko shrugged. I knew what I was in for, the gesture seemed to say.

Hajime hesitated before continuing, trying to straighten out the mirror's handle as he did. His voice was quiet when he did speak. "There were side effects, too. Some… some really bad ones. But the school didn't care what happened. I was just their lab rat."

Silence answered him, hanging painfully heavy. A good ten seconds ticked by on the infirmary's clock. After that pause, Fuyuhiko concluded, "And they probably want their lab rat back."

Hajime looked at the floor and nodded.

"So… this isn't a one-time thing, then," Fuyuhiko slowly continued. "They'll always want to get ahold of you."

Hajime hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah."

"Then I'm going to have to do this again."

The words stabbed terror through his heart. "Never," Hajime instantly spat. After a deep breath, he strove for humor, but only sounded agonized as he forced words through his tight throat. "I mean, you don't care about me, right? No need to do anything for me again."

Fuyuhiko's gaze darkened. "If I think something's worth doing, I stick to it. Even if I don't remember why now, I must have had my reasons then."

Fuck it all, why was he so kneejerk stubborn? "They are never, ever getting their hands on you again. I won't let it happen."

"You won't let? I don't take orders from you." Dark memory filled Fuyuhiko's gaze, and he muttered, "I remember being in charge. I was giving the orders. If this is what I decided I need to do…"

The thought of Fuyuhiko getting captured again filled Hajime with panic; the thought of him willingly walking back into hell had him practically delirious with it. "Well, you're not getting past every single person on this ship. We're not letting you throw yourself away again!" By the end, Hajime stood and was nearly shouting.

Instantly obstinate, Fuyuhiko leaned forward, uncaring of the fragile figure he still struck in the hospital bed. "I'd like to see them try and stop me."

A disbelieving laugh broke free. "Oh yeah? Look at you!" Hajime cried before he could help it, and gestured to the mess two months of torture had made of Fuyuhiko. "Say you could actually get past us. You think you could really head back for more?" Even as he said the words, he knew they were a critically wrong move.

Fury sparked behind Fuyuhiko's eye. "What, you think I can't take it?"

"Will you just—"

"Fuck off! From what I've heard from everyone, I'm who saved their asses last time, not you! Me, not some superpowered lab rat!"

Electricity seemed to run down his spine, and words poured out of Hajime before he could stop them. "You know what, Fuyuhiko? No. No, you can't take another round of this. You barely survived this one."

"Don't tell me what I can't do."

"Lose even another couple of kilos again, and you will fall back into poikilothermia and die in a torture chamber. It's not a question." Hajime leaned forward and propped his weight on the side of Fuyuhiko's bed. "You are not taking the bullet for me again. Because—listen carefully—you. Can't. Do. This."

As expected, nothing filled Fuyuhiko with fury like the implication of weakness. This was far from weakness, but was the simple limit of how much any human could take. Even so, it landed as terribly as he knew it would, but Hajime just hadn't been able to stop the words from pouring out. Spending this long mired in misery and guilt had worn away his defenses; hearing that Fuyuhiko was already planning for more torture and certain death lit a fuse.

"Get out," Fuyuhiko spat, looking ready to lunge out of his hospital bed with his hands aimed for Hajime's throat. "And don't let me see your face again."

"Heard that one before," Hajime said tiredly, and walked for the door. Once there, he turned. "You're not going to throw your life away for someone you clearly don't give one single shit about."

"This has nothing to do with you. This is about me and what I decided to do. Now: get out."

Hajime managed to round two corners before the first ragged sob ripped free. He leaned against a wall and wiped away hot, angry tears with a rough swipe of his wrist. Shit. Goddammit.

Trying to be honest with Fuyuhiko had been one bad fucking move.

Soon, he found himself doing engine repairs three months ahead of schedule, just so he'd have something to focus on. His hands stayed busy, his mind stayed quiet, and his heart hid in a corner and didn't dare to speak up. It worked for hours of distraction, but eventually, the dinner chime sounded. He didn't want people to come looking for him, and so Hajime tiredly headed to the mess hall. He'd sit by himself.

Everyone was there, save Fuyuhiko. Nearly all of the people who made up Hajime's world were right here in this one room. It was a dozen different shades of 'loud,' from laughter to arguments to excitement. Looking at them, no one would think the group had been chased from their home mere months earlier.

They probably want their lab rat back.

But they had been chased off Jabberwock, and they'd barely made it out alive. Because Hajime hadn't kept any of these people safe, despite being the military's biggest target.

They probably want their lab rat back.

He'd let that happen to Fuyuhiko.

They probably want their lab rat back.

The soldiers were going to keep coming.

Through dull eyes, Hajime looked around the room and imagined bullets ripping through skulls. The men targeting them planned to kill everyone besides himself, Sonia, and Fuyuhiko, right? And the other two would face torture until their knowledge was wrung dry. (…More torture.)

And what did they have to face those entire military fleets when they did inevitably come? Not a full island chain with its own defensive capabilities, like they'd used last time. No: now they had a ship, singular, and one helicopter. They'd failed before, and now their situation was even worse.

Hajime was pretty sure that he could single-handedly take over another vessel, if it came to that. But he'd need the opportunity to do so. If a battleship or submarine sent a torpedo at them from a kilometer away, he'd never get that chance.

If soldiers came for him again, all of these people would die or end up in torture chambers. Hajime wouldn't be able to stop it. And so, once again, he didn't know what to do.

At the end of his fatalistic survey across the room, Hajime's attention lingered on someone. Memories whispered, almost too softly to hear at first, until he really listened to what they said. His expression shifted slowly, from misery to uncertainty to realization.

Oh. Oh. Of course. He should have seen this sooner.

Nagito only looked up after the lightbulb had gone off. He blinked in confusion over Hajime blatantly staring at him, and gestured to himself like he expected a question to be asked. Hajime shook his head once. No need to ask a question; Nagito had already given him an answer.

Yes. Right.

That had been the answer, all along.

He just hadn't wanted to admit what was being asked of him.

At the end of his brief dinner, Hajime stood and walked over to another table. "I'm taking the chopper," he whispered to the Imposter. "I'll be back later."

That earned a confused blink. "What's happening? Do you need a co-pilot?"

"No. It'll be quick, I'll be back by morning. I just didn't want you to wonder where it was."

"All right." The answer was uncertain, but Hajime didn't bother offering reassurance or clarification as he walked off. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nagito hurry over to talk to the Imposter. "The helicopter?" Nagito repeated with surprise, and Hajime sped his pace. He didn't want to deal with any sort of explanation.

Soon, the helicopter lifted smoothly off its landing pad under his controls. He tilted it toward the southeast, and as he circled around, noticed that he was being observed by a white head of hair dyed the colors of sunset. Hajime returned his attention to the sky and flew onward.

Two hours later, he descended toward a pitch-black expanse carved out of another forest. There were many such abandoned military bases around the world, and with a global power shortage, they weren't bothering to keep the lights on. Many of the supplies here had been carried off, but not all; they'd gotten the helicopter he was flying from this same base, along with enough replacement parts to last them a decade.

Using only moonlight and starlight, Hajime located a runway and used it as a landing pad. As he hopped out of the craft and to the ground, he hoped that the Canadian forces hadn't carried off what he needed as they pulled back to defend Vancouver.

Cracks ran across the tarmac, and weeds pushed through. Once, this had been a world-class facility for world-class soldiers, but so much had been abandoned when half the world fell. Those soldiers were now after him, Hajime reminded himself. They were after his friends. And they had hurt one friend in ways that he couldn't even describe.

Steeling his resolve, Hajime hurried through the crisp, chill darkness in search of a way to stop all of those soldiers from ever getting a second chance. His light, precise footsteps echoed across the sprawling pavement and between the concrete buildings. Only the soft cries of nearby owls interrupted him. This once-bustling base was silent, now, and the natural world was beginning to reclaim what humanity had abandoned.

Aha, Hajime saw as he trailed heavy cables across the ground and found the control box that collected them. It was attached to a concrete block of a building, unlabeled and unremarkable. Here it was. Not bothering with niceties, he kicked at the door like he was trying to drive in someone's chest, and proceeded inside when it wrenched off its hinges.

Relief soon swept him. Yes. They'd left behind exactly what he needed.

With the assistance of a few spare duffel bags, Hajime began scooping up every piece of abandoned telecommunications equipment left in this control room. Their group had been using that slow, secretive frequency, but it was time to take a different approach. Trying to duck down and hide in the shadows, as they'd been doing, could only protect them for so long. Hajime refused to be the prey again, left to be tracked and discovered.

As he exited the building, a gust of wind whipped past and caught a tattered flag left on its pole. Red and white. For a moment, Hajime was back walking through the ruins of military bases with a red sun flying over them, rather than a maple leaf. Those were the soldiers most desperate to find him. Although they had allies around the world who also sought the Remnants, it was Japanese forces who'd led the assault on Jabberwock and captured Fuyuhiko.

They'd regret that.

Confident that he'd found all that he needed, Hajime loaded the duffel bags into the helicopter, refueled, and set back off for their hiding place near the Alaskan Panhandle. There were still hours of darkness left when he landed. He should sleep, first, to make sure he had a clear head. He was trying to change the world, after all.

Well into morning, his efforts were going well. Hajime had taken over the control cabin of the ship, as he needed access to some of its systems. His in-progress work with the military electronics he'd raided already covered half the room.

"Hajime?" Nagito asked as he stepped into the control room.

He didn't look up from his work. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

Still studying the electronics in front of him, Hajime smiled. It might be a dark, unbalanced expression. Nagito's behavior inside the simulation had served as his inspiration, after all. "You'd probably say something about 'creating hope.'"

Silence. Then, "Whose hope?"

That earned another smile. "Good question." Nagito didn't say anything else, but neither did he leave. Eventually, Hajime continued, "Nagito. I want to ask you something. About the Funhouse. When you learned the truth about us, what ran through your head?"

Those soldiers on Jabberwock had come hunting for Hajime, and they didn't care who they'd hurt in the process. No, that wasn't right: they'd come hunting for Hajime, and they would gleefully slaughter most of his friends if they got the chance. Those who they didn't slaughter, they'd torture.

And not just torture, Hajime knew as he thought about what was left of Fuyuhiko, but destroy. Utterly. The so-called good guys would rip out everything that made up the people he cared about. Those men who'd come for Hajime and the men who'd done this to Fuyuhiko could make zero claim at being on the side of good, despite all claims to the contrary.

Nagito's concern deepened at the seeming non sequitur, but he still didn't try to pull Hajime away from whatever he was working on. After that long pause, he answered, "I had to stop everyone. Before you hurt anyone else."

"Right. Exactly." Hajime reached for a wire and stripped its coating. "You asked whose hope I'm creating, so: our hope. I apparently have to pick, and so I pick our hope." He'd might have been created as the world's hope, but his world had been reduced to the people on this ship.

There was another long pause from the man at the door. Hajime wondered if Nagito would demand to know exactly what he was planning, or would spout off more speeches about how the entire world's hope rested in his hands. But no. After that aching pause, Nagito simply murmured, "I understand" and turned, closing the door behind him.

Hajime nodded and leaned back in to his work.

It took him eight days, and he barely left the room until he was done. Fuyuhiko was probably relieved about that.

At the end of those eight days, when Hajime was sure that his plan would work, he walked to the infirmary and was surprised to find it empty. A quick check of the roster told him that Fuyuhiko had moved to a normal room, right next to Peko's, and Hajime headed there with purpose. Even if Fuyuhiko connected with every other person on this ship better than with Hajime, it was doubtful he'd willingly spend much time socializing.

As expected, the door opened, and the face behind it wasn't happy. "Well," Fuyuhiko said shortly, and studied him. He looked much healthier than before; once he'd made it through the worst stretch, he'd apparently improved rapidly. A thick sweater appeared to be enough to keep him warm. "You listened to me for a week, at least."

Right. Fuyuhiko didn't want to see his face again. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing something for you on deck as soon as it gets dark," Hajime levelly said. "You don't have to come. But if you look through the porthole and wonder what you're seeing, you'll know what's up."

Fuyuhiko blinked. "Huh? The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it."

"If you're doing something for me," Fuyuhiko snapped, "without my permission, then I'm gonna fuckin' worry!"

"So, we're talking about asking the other person's permission, now?" Hajime said, and didn't try to soften how pointed the words were. "Anyway. You can come if you want, or not." He turned and left without further explanation, leaving Fuyuhiko blinking behind him.

Even if Fuyuhiko hated him, and even if he never wanted to see Hajime again, Hajime was his best friend. He was going to take care of Fuyuhiko and stop what had happened from ever, ever repeating.

Whether Fuyuhiko wanted him to or not.

And he was going to protect everyone else, too, Hajime calmly told himself as they joined him on the deck. Those soldiers never should have been able to sneak up on them, and the local radar never should had been the first warning sign they had. If he'd protected his friends to begin with, none of this would have happened.

Confusion ran wild. All everyone knew was that Hajime was working on something supposedly important, with components taken from a military base, but there were no weapons to be seen. He didn't look aggressive, either; if anything, he looked eerily calm as he stared up at the sky.

"Mind clueing us in?" Akane demanded, hugging herself tightly. She treated the cold as an opponent, and she always hated to admit defeat. At least she'd relented into putting on a pair of sweatpants, but she still refused to wear a coat.

Hajime smiled slightly at the sight, and of everything he knew of her. He'd protect her, too, like he'd failed to do on Jabberwock.

"Seriously," Hiyoko complained. She too had resisted dressing for the increasingly cold weather, but she'd finally given in at the first dusting of snow. As Mahiru leaned over to pull her in to a warmth-sharing hug, Hiyoko wondered, "What have you even been doing, anyway? Did your big fight with Fuyuhiko make you turn tail and hide for that long?"

It probably wasn't a surprise that secrets spread quickly within tight quarters. "Simple," Hajime said, and looked back up at the night sky. "I'm doing what I should have done before all of this happened in the first place: protecting everyone."

"How?" Kazuichi asked, audibly nervous. "Didn't you go to, uh…"

"A military base?" Nagito concluded. He wasn't outright nervous like Kazuichi, of course, but even he sounded at least apprehensive about Hajime's uncharacteristic behavior and whatever he'd left him to do in that room. Nagito sounding even mildly concerned about something managed to unnerve Ryota and Teruteru, too.

"Yes."

Hajime's blunt answer did nothing to soothe their nerves, and the group looked between themselves.

Sonia gathered her courage and stepped forward. "Hajime, when the five of us chose to shut down the program, we did so for the safety of the world. You musn't—" Her voice faltered when his attention turned toward her.

Hajime could only imagine what his expression looked like, right now. Those soldiers had come in search of Izuru Kamukura. After what they'd done to the people he cared about, they'd found him.

She collected her courage and tried again. "You mustn't hurt anyone, Hajime."

"I'm not going to hurt anyone," he said like it was self-evident. That lack of trust should have hurt, but he distantly realized that his voice had indeed gone flat, all its emotional affectation falling away. It had been a very, very long stretch of months. Feelings had failed him over and over again as they went on, and now, he just needed to fix these problems before they could happen again.

"Then what the hell are you doing?"

The voice sliced through Hajime's disaffected thoughts, and he blinked with surprise. Fuyuhiko stood near the stairs, ready to return below deck in an instant, but he was there.

"Sorry, Fuyuhiko," Hajime said as all of those squelched emotions rushed back into him like surging floodwaters, and he flexed his hand around the small controller it held. "I know you said you didn't want me making this decision for you. Well. I'm gonna."

"Huh?" Fuyuhiko asked, too confused to be angry.

Turning back to the sky, Hajime inhaled.

He was about to end the world.

Again.

Before he could talk himself out of this, his thumb clicked the button to confirm the algorithm he'd spent a week building. Humanity's greatest genius had used a modified satellite phone taken from the Canadian base to hack into every government and military system left in this broken world, and slithered into their cracks and shadows. After that, he'd started calculating angles and vectors and control mechanisms. And now, he'd just put all of those controls into effect.

There was a full minute of wary silence as they waited for anything to happen, finally broken by Nagito wondering, "Hajime… what did you do?"

"I'm not hurting anyone," he calmly repeated. "I'm just going to stop them before they hurt anyone else."

Nagito still looked unsettled, especially at the echo of his own words, but said nothing more.

As Hajime looked up at the sky and waited, his breath suddenly caught as he realized Fuyuhiko had walked up next to him. Though his tight expression demanded answers, Hajime could only say, "I owe you this."

"Owe me what, exact… ly…" Fuyuhiko's question trailed off into nothing as a spectacular streak of light burned across the sky.

A few people gasped. Realizing what they must be thinking, Hajime said, "It's not a missile. Don't worry. But keep watching."

Another streak of light blazed overhead, then a third. And then, suddenly, it became a waterfall of shining, gleaming color tearing apart the night sky. A meteor shower like the Perseids might see a hundred so-called falling stars in an hour. This was thousands of points of light, in minutes.

It was beautiful. Even though he'd known what was about to happen, Hajime couldn't help but stare up in awe at the choir of light singing an intricate melody overhead. Runs, chords, arpeggios; the glimmering lines wrote out a song that had never been seen in the history of the world, and would never be seen again.

"What did you do?" Fuyuhiko asked in an amazed whisper as he stared up at the glorious show above.

"I owe you this," Hajime repeated, also in a whisper, then stayed silent until calm, dark night finally returned.

A few final streaks of light followed their brethren down to earth. Only when they were sure that no more would follow did everyone turn to Hajime. Every last face demanded answers.

For it, he held up his hand to show off the small controller held in his palm.

"They had… that at the military base?" Kazuichi asked weakly.

"No." Hajime smiled as genuine relief swept him, like he hadn't felt for a very long time. "It just set off my algorithm."

"Which did what?" Peko prompted.

"Directed ninety-three percent of all functioning satellites out of orbit. And I now control the other seven percent."

That took a moment to sink in, then earned a collective gasp. "Those were satellites?" Mahiru demanded. "Like, television and internet and phone satellites?"

Hajime looked back up at a now-empty sky. "Like spy satellites. Like military targeting and attack satellites. They're never going to find any of you again. And with the ones I kept, I'll know if they even make an attempt. It'll be impossible to take us by surprise, ever again."

Overwhelmed, Sonia clutched her forehead. "Every telecommunications network around the world just collapsed." Gundham stared at Hajime like he'd wielded some dark magical powers to put on that spectacular display.

"Not every one," Hajime calmly countered. "Land-based towers will still work fine, and there are plenty of those. And I spent the last four days making sure that no satellites would angle toward populated areas, just in case they didn't burn up. No one was hurt. Which is a lot more than those soldiers can say.

"I didn't hurt anyone," he repeated in the silence. "But… I realized that I had to decide who I'm protecting, actively. And I picked you."

Aware of the stunned figure still standing at his side, Hajime quietly repeated, "I picked you. You won't have to do it again. And I'll stop talking to you, now."

Fuyuhiko's eye opened as wide as Hajime had ever seen it, and he looked up to stare again at the heavens that had been ripped down to keep him safe.

"All right. That's it." Hajime smiled. "Show's over. If we want, we could set sail tomorrow. They're never going to find us again."

He didn't know whether to expect it or not, but a knock came on his cabin door an hour later. When Hajime opened it, Fuyuhiko met his gaze for only a couple of seconds before studying the floor between them. "What in the hell was… I didn't ask for that."

"I know. But I owed you that much, Fuyuhiko. If I had done what I was capable of early enough, then you wouldn't have been forced into doing what you were capable of. I screwed up, so now I fixed it."

"When they figure out what happened, you're just going to be even more of a target," Fuyuhiko muttered. "Biggest bad guy on the planet."

He shrugged, smiling lopsidedly. "Already am, right?"

Fuyuhiko snorted slightly, but admitted, "Who… made his project take twice as long, so that he wouldn't hurt people. I would've just figured that everything would burn up."

"None of us want to hurt people," Hajime agreed, and instinctively raised his hand toward the fresh, deeper scar that had been carved across Fuyuhiko's bad eye. He caught himself halfway there and lowered his hand. "But the 'good guys' apparently can't say the same. So I picked us. And I don't regret it. They won't be able to see or hear us well enough to find us, any more, and so you'll never have to do that again."

For once, the silence between them seemed comfortable, like it had been before, when they could sit in each other's presence and not feel the immediate need to fill the quiet. In that quiet, Hajime was finally able to think of the right thing to say. "Don't think of this as coming from a friend. We apparently can't be that, any more. But I owed you a debt, and I needed to repay it."

Fuyuhiko studied him, clearly aware that Hajime had deliberately chosen language from Fuyuhiko's world, and seemed to consider him anew. Maybe, just maybe, they did understand each other, despite all this time seeming to say otherwise. "Hey. Lab rat."

"Don't call me that," Hajime instantly countered.

Not bothering to apologize, Fuyuhiko continued, "So, you just took out every way for militaries to track us, right? Plan offensive maneuvers? Organize their fleets?" After getting a nod at each question, he slowly finished, "Then… didn't you say you'd thought of something that might fix my memories, if only you could get past the military?"

Everything went still, and Hajime's eyes opened wide as he realized what he'd accidentally done as part of his plan.

"I just…" Troubled, Fuyuhiko tried a few times to finish his thoughts. "What you did up there tonight, I…" He shifted his weight. "I guess you finally made me curious about caring that damn much."

Hajime gripped his hand before he could help it. "Okay. Before we sail back there, I need to know if they would have gone back to look inside a specific building. I don't think you do, but do you know anything about something called the Neo World Program? Anything at all?"

Fuyuhiko blinked back at him with a total lack of recognition. "That's a dumbass name."

With a crow of delighted laughter over the confirmation that Fuyuhiko had never told them a thing, Hajime unthinkingly drew him into a hug.

"Get off me!" Fuyuhiko spat, his good mood gone.

"Sorry," Hajime chuckled, and stepped away. "Sorry. Force of habit."

"If you try to act like a friend who hugs me," Fuyuhiko muttered, "I'm gonna change my mind about this."

Hajime held up his hands. "Right. No hugs. Sorry."

"Okay. Glad we've gotten that straightened out." Fuyuhiko cleared his throat. "We're not friends. You've just got me curious. That's it."

"Absolutely," Hajime agreed. "That's it."

"Well. Okay. Right." Fuyuhiko hesitated a moment longer, then turned and walked off without a good-bye.

Hajime watched him leave, then turned and flat-out ran the other direction, toward the stairs. It was time to weigh anchor, and he'd figure out the safest path back toward Jabberwock once they were in motion. That would be easy enough; they still had access to all remaining navigational and spy satellites, after all, while every single one of their enemies had just been thrown back into navigating by compass and map.

Eighteen days later, they were back.

Everyone looked wistfully at the familiar beaches and palm trees. Even if they'd blinded the world's militaries, it was too dangerous to stay permanently in this known location. They could make return trips to strip the islands of what supplies they had to offer, but this wasn't home, any more.

"Come on," Hajime said, and gestured to the dock. "In there."

Fuyuhiko looked warily toward the central administration building; familiar to Hajime, but an unknown location to him. "What are we doing, exactly? You said this is where that virtual game thing happened, but I'm not doing that again, am I?"

He shook his head as they set into motion. "No. In a worst-case scenario, I can look for the same memory files that were generated when the simulation ran before. That wouldn't be… ideal, since it'd have some holes and nothing past when we woke up, but it'd be better than now." And Fuyuhiko would be balanced on the edge of Ultimate Despair, again, but they could all pull him off the ledge in the right direction.

"Okay," Fuyuhiko said, clearly troubled, but making the active decision to trust Hajime. "What's the best-case scenario, then? How would you get the memories back, otherwise?"

"I don't think they're actually gone," Hajime theorized.

That earned a dark look. "I'm pretty damn sure I knew what I was doing, there."

"You absolutely cannot reach those memories," Hajime quickly agreed. "Which kept those guys from being able to, either. But, it's like… imagine two buildings with a road between them. When you told me about what you did, I realized that I don't think you blew up the buildings. They're still there. I think you just blew up the road, so there's no way to access them."

"Okay," Fuyuhiko said uncertainly. "What's the difference, then, in fixing them?"

"Cognitive psychology studies retrieval methods for information that has been stored in long-term memory." The formal explanation quickly earned annoyance, and Hajime changed to, "You changed your associations with them, so you can't pull your memories out. You blew up the road, in other words. But there are pods—" Please, let the pods still be there. "That are specifically designed to deal with memories. I'm positive I can tweak them to zero in on fixing your retrieval processes. I won't need to actually rebuild any memories. I'll just need to fix the roads."

"Makes sense," Fuyuhiko said, but sounded even more uncertain as the details poured in. "So, I'm going to get into a weird memory pod that was used to lock me into a killing game, and you're gonna fuck with my brain. Like the pod already did, once."

"That's." Hajime paused, then held back a grimace. "Yeah. I wouldn't use those words, but… that's technically accurate, yeah."

Fuyuhiko looked to the side, and Hajime realized someone had followed them to the building. "What do you think?"

"It's as I've been telling you, all this time." Peko nodded. "You can trust Hajime."

Fuyuhiko stared at the building looming overhead, then sighed. "Fuck it." He pushed his way inside, not waiting for them to follow.

When Hajime moved to do so, a hand caught his wrist. "Thank you," Peko whispered, with a rare smile.

He smiled, too. "You got him out."

"And you'll get him back." She stepped back, releasing his wrist. "I won't keep you. But truly: thank you."

Nodding, Hajime reached over and squeezed her wrist before he followed Fuyuhiko inside. He found Fuyuhiko in the lobby, looking critically at the looming statue representing the five islands; he hadn't known which hallway to use after entering. Hajime led him down a path that they'd walked countless times while working on their sleeping friends, and kept glancing at him to see if any recognition flickered.

None did, but that might also have been because of how focused he was on assessing the space around them. "No signs of forced entry anywhere," Fuyuhiko mused. "And there's dust."

"It doesn't look like anyone's been down here," Hajime agreed, but his pulse sped as they approached the final corridor. He took and held a deep breath as he pushed open the door in question.

The pods were still there.

His lungs emptied, and Hajime's heart lurched back into regular motion. "Okay," he said, and tried to not let on how worried he'd been that they might come all this way only to find that the military had carried off the island's heart. "Pick a pod."

Fuyuhiko eyed him oddly—Hajime's nerves had clearly come through—but he shrugged and walked over to the pod nearest to the main control panel. "So, I just…?"

"You just get in," Hajime confirmed, and tapped the pod's panel to open it.

Needing another few contemplative moments, Fuyuhiko let out a whooshing breath, nodded, and climbed into the empty pod. "Don't fuck up, lab rat."

"Don't call me that," Hajime reminded him, hopefully for the last time, and tapped the controls to close the pod. Inside, Fuyuhiko watched him through its fogged glass, then abruptly dropped into unconsciousness as its effects took hold.

Okay. Time to be someone's Ultimate Hope, again.

Hajime's fingers flew across the controls as he worked on repurposing the intricate code of the Neo World Program. Software code and neurological structures both reshaped under his expert hands, but it wasn't a quick process. He'd reprogrammed the world's satellites, but reprogramming Fuyuhiko's brain felt infinitely more consequential.

Eventually, he had to activate the program and turn it over to the machine. It was out of his hands, now, and he could only wait, watch, and hope. Eighty-seven anxious minutes later, a light turned from green to white. The program had ended.

Fear and anticipation filled him in equal measure. He was almost sure this would work, but if it didn't, Hajime didn't have another plan. It would work, right? It would work. It would work. It had to work, he told himself as he reached for the pod's controls and tapped OPEN. It had to work.

The pod door slowly opened, and Fuyuhiko's eyelid followed.

Hajime leaned over him, realizing his own hands were shaking. "H-hey." He swallowed, feeling suddenly weighed down by the gravity of this moment. Either he was about to get Fuyuhiko back, or it would prove impossible. "How'd it go?"

Fuyuhiko blinked at him once. Twice.

Hajime looked down, and again swallowed hard.

Abruptly, Fuyuhiko lunged halfway out of the pod and grabbed Hajime by his shirt collar. "You asshole! I told you not to bother!"

"You told me?" Hajime repeated with a tremulous, hopeful voice.

"All of those fucking satellites? They're gonna know it was you!"

He swallowed. "And who am I?"

Fuyuhiko's lower lip quivered. "Hajime Hinata. The world's biggest idiot."

Delirious joy overtook Hajime, and he leaned in for a hug that lifted Fuyuhiko the rest of the way out of his pod. One arm wrapped around the other man's back, holding him close, while his other hand rested along the curve of Fuyuhiko's head. "You're the idiot," Hajime laughed, and rested his face against Fuyuhiko's.

"Fuck you," Fuyuhiko snorted, and wrapped his arms around Hajime in return, allowing himself to be held like he seldom did. "My plan worked great."

"Well, so did mine." Hajime's grip tightened, though he remembered in time that Fuyuhiko still had deep injuries lurking inside. "I picked you. Just like you picked me."

Fuyuhiko tried to say something, but failed.

"Thank you," Hajime whispered. Now that sun had returned to his world, he could admit to what fate Fuyuhiko had saved him from. "God, thank you. Never do that again. Never."

"That's the plan," Fuyuhiko whispered, and laughed once. It faded into a soft, twisted noise. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"And you do. You see me. Right?"

"Yeah." Fuyuhiko nodded against him. "I do."

Ultimate Hope felt like a worthwhile title, suddenly. "Come on," Hajime eventually said. He didn't let go of Fuyuhiko, though, and Fuyuhiko didn't step away. "Let's figure out what home's going to be, now."

#my fic #i joke that my single favorite trope is 'earn your happy ending'#significantly fucking less of an ideal situation for the rest of the world but our focus is BIASED

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no-name-blu · 6 months ago

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A thought. John turning evil by some entity promising him a way to protect his friends and Melissa. But he’s just doing the right thing g but the wrong way

When they used to be Welcome Home OCs, that's literally John's plot in my AU, Gameshow Host! Wally XD

But it's more of a fun side plot that can be taken out/ignored. This plot shows more on what the real world is like, how the cult fans of the show are formed, and also shows what happens to the winners of the gameshow. Because according to Wally, they usually turn into a threat to Humanity.

Here's an old comic that I never finished, glad it gets to see the light of day now :D

You can get their lore explanation down here!

I figured to reveal it since they're not Welcome Home OCs anymore and I'm not gonna draw all of this

CW: VIOLENCE AND CHARACTER DEATH, A LOT OF READING

Melissa, John, Briella (My OCs) and Sunny (that bird character), are a friend group together. Briella was the very first contestant of the show and dies, making Melissa wanting to investigate it and she's been non stop working about it.

And then, maybe 3-6 months later? idk, John got picked to be the contestant and won, so he asked his prize to have the ability to help Melissa. So Home gave John this opportunity to have a tour in the studio with Wally. So the day that happened, Wally showed him around, the problem with foreign objects going to the studio, it starts to deteriorate, especially for one's sanity. John eventually runs off Wally's tour and try to find more secrets in the studio just to accidentally found the void where Home resides in. His brain did not recover from seeing Home, he doesn't remember what happens after that. But John got Home's powers now YIPEEEE

Also his mind is in shambles in a way it's like an "enlightenment" to him. He sees it like the show is actually a good thing, weeding out the evil in the world. And he wanted to help more than anything.

John finds more people to see this show the way he sees it. He somehow got Melissa convinced too (old idea was that he can do hypnotism) When he tried to convince Sunny, he disagreed, leading to John to think he's evil and such, ended up killing him. Both the idiotic and crazy couple basically going on a killing spree to form a cult fan club of the show :D Honestly, imagine JD and Veronica from Heathers, but they're both JD. They're what killed the dinosaurs, they're the asteroids that's overdue /lyr

Eventuallyyy Melissa starts to snaps out of it, telling John she doesn't want to do this anymore, noticed Home has been watching them and she wants to make a deal with him. Home says something like "make one big sacrifice, and I'll give you what you wish for" Not very helpful but still she took the deal. Then the comic above is what's next. After that, they fought.

John was about to kill her but held back and gave Melissa a chance to fight back, so she starts punching, beats him up until the marionette puppet stops being alive.

Somehow the result of this made Home gave Melissa her own powers with the glowing eyes and Home's pupils too. Basically saying, now she serves for Home and that she's also gonna go crazy, like what had happened to John.

But Melissa didn't take over the cult, that'll be someone else. What she did is help Wally find a suitable contestant for the episode.

This plot probably got some holes and not that fleshed out since I stopped writing into it. It was fun tho :D

If you wanna know the other nickel, it's their Reboot AU lore. John was also cray cray for a different reason.

#Sorry anon to use this as an opportunity to info dump all the lore 😭😭😭#I repeat THEY ARE NOT WELCOME HOME OCS ANYMORE #THEY ARE NOW MY OWN PERSONAL ORIGINAL CHARACTERS >:D #gameshow host wally #game show host wally

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perpetualexistence · 10 months ago

Text

Sea Monster AU: Chrefxposition

So, on the one hand, this part is a few days later than originally promised. On the other hand, it's twice as long. I could have arguably made this into two parts, but I've got no energy left to figure out where exactly it should be split. Turns out decent exposition can take a while!

In the eventual fanfic proper I'll be sure to spread/foreshadow some of this exposition earlier. With me writing as I'm going it with only an outline for certain events, the foreshadowing is going to be a bit splotchy, but I'll try my best.

Without further ado, time to watch Noah go darker yet darker still!

Content warnings: Mentions of eating people, death, blood, Alejandro being a manipulative bastard

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For the rest of spring break, Alejandro insists on hunting more than usual to build up an underwater cache for later. Noah has to work on overdrive to find enough ships to keep Alejandro happy. He goes to different parts of the lake in order to spread out the location of where the disappearances are happening. Also to keep them as far away from his hometown as possible. He knows this many disappearances so close to one another are going to draw attention from other humans. He doesn't comment on it for two reasons. One, because he'd rather not test Alejandro again even if the concern is practical and legitimate. And two, he wants the disappearances to get attention. He's got to figure out who's smart enough to notice, and vocal enough to try to do something about it.

Noah starts intentionally hanging out by the docks more. He knows it's safe because Alejandro never dares to get that close to civilization. Sailors will sometimes have odd jobs when they need an extra hand on deck or someone to help with loading/unloading. Since everyone knows everyone to some extent in his town, the Mudaliars have a reputation for picking up odd jobs in order to help pay off their debts. Noah's never done it before since he's had his poetry to provide income. But at the very least, it means he can have an excuse for why he's there. It also gives him an excuse for talking with sailors to see what their thoughts are on sea monsters. He doesn't bring up the disappearances himself, because that's inviting trouble. Instead, he lets sailors do what they like to do best: talk.

That's how he finds Chef, a loud ex-marine who found himself kicked from the marines and now works as a sailor taking odd jobs transporting things across the lake. Chef shares that the real reason he got booted out is because he started noticing a bunch of disappearances with other marines. He started hearing tales of beasts and went to go investigate it himself. Sure enough, it was a giant monster making easy pickings of his brothers in arms. His husband knew more about taking those slimy bastards down, so he went to him for help. Eventually they did win, but he lost men doing it, and the beast sunk to the bottom of the ocean, getting rid of their proof. He was tossed out for 'recklessly endangering lives'. (He sacrificed far more men than he truly needed to as a distraction, and didn't even let them know that was going to happen.)Now he's seeing all these disappearances happening and his gut is telling him this is happening again. He doesn't have the same firepower as before, but he and his husband are still preparing.

Noah's now very curious about this husband of his if he's the one who knew more about sea monsters. Chef immediately gets suspicious and wants to know why he cares so much about this. Noah hates having to give up information, but he knows if he's to get anywhere, he's going to have to. He says that he knows for a fact he saw something like a sea monster in the distance. He's just been keeping quiet because he doesn't know who would believe him. Which isn't technically a lie. It just doesn't reveal how much else he knows. It also won't really give Chef any new information since by the sound of it he was already going to prepare regardless of if he got any confirmation from someone else. It's enough to get Chef decide to take him in on his and Chris' monster hunting crusade.

Chris's family are among the humans that believe/know sea beasts exist and make it their job to hunt them, his most notable one being his cousin Jerd.

Chris though? Nah, he doesn't give a shit about hunting. He just cares about fame and fortune. He stole a random ass book that was supposed to have rituals to give him just that and booked it. The pouch around his neck is a result of that in that it's supposed to give him good luck. Someone else in the family made it for him as a rite of passage in being ready to join the family business.

He's pretty shitty at magic because he doesn't want to put in the time and effort to learn, he just wants the results. And this is why he'll forever be shitty at magic. Magic is about intertwining sentience with nature. For that, you need two things: Desire and Effort. The desire has to be focused, and it has to be what a person actually desires. If a person thinks they want one thing, but deep down they really want something else? The magic's either going to act based on the true desire or be fucked up as a result. That's the sentience part.

The nature part is effort. You can't get something for nothing. If you try, someone or something still ends up suffering along the line. There's balance in the ecosystem of the sea, even for those who are at the top of the food chain. It might not be fair to those on the bottom, but it is what it is. Whether you take time and effort in learning runes, or gathering ingredients, the point is that it's your work in a way that you truly know is giving it your all.

Chris has definitely got the desire, and it's why he was able to become famous thanks to his magic pouch. However, he wasn't willing to put any work into actually maintaining the pouch's components so his luck ran out. He keeps it mostly for sentimental reasons at this point. He can't really go back to his family because he stole the book, aka a family heirloom that he knows damn well is dangerous when it's in the wrong hands. (Little does he know his family would have been okay with him leaving the family business. Their problem was with how he did it, which is no one's fault but his own.) He doesn't even know how to read the damn thing because he never paid too much attention to his parents trying to teach him how. All he does know is that it's very powerful, has a mind of its own, and hates Chris because it loves to try to snap closed on him.

So now he's a washed up TV host stuck in this dingy little town. The only person who's still standing beside him is Chef. He runs a stupid little pawn shop in this tourist trap of a town to try to sell fake crap, plus some of his tv host memorabilia. He's trying to find a way out of this mess until what does he see? Evidence that there's a sea monster lurking about.

Chris realizes he could just expose sea monsters to get fame that way. Completely ignoring everything that his parents ever told him that it'd be a terrible idea. Sea monsters would have no reason to hide if they were public knowledge, so their fatality rate would grow exponentially. Still, that's not his problem, and his good luck will ensure that he and his husband will turn out alright.

Chris doesn't quite care for including this walking twig into this situation at first when Chef introduces the two. As far as he's concerned, Noah provides nothing and is a walking liability. Up until Noah reveals that he's able to hack.

His family has a whole library worth of information about sea monsters. In order to try to expand their reach in where they can defend against sea monsters, they've taken to digitizing the library. Thanks to Chris's less than stellar exit, he's been locked out of that information. But he knows how to find it, and Noah seems like he'll be perfect for actually getting in. And hey, the kid's volunteering to do all the boring research? All the better! Chris will focus on strategizing and seeing what this dumb book will do for him. Not that he tells or shows Noah the book. He's lazy, but he's not that dumb to let someone else touch that thing.

This is how Noah starts learning things about merfolk. Turns out they've been around for quite a long time. It turns out merfolk aren't naturally as big as Alejandro. They use magic to make themselves that big. Due to the amount of effort and food to maintain their size, they can't use any other kind of magic when large. Thanks to generations of not using any other kind of magic, they lost the ability to use magic to do anything except change their size over time. That's how they gained their own separate classification as sea monsters. The only exception to size magic they have is using lake/ocean currents to travel. It takes a lot of magic depending on the distance traveled.

Their first meeting is making a lot more sense to Noah.

It also presents an interesting idea. Maybe he doesn't have to kill Alejandro. Maybe he could just stop him from ever growing again.

He knows he should kill Alejandro. He'd never settle for being kept vulnerable for the rest of his life. Noah would have to become his keeper. He'd never get rid of him. And yet. Despite all the murder he's witnessed, helped with, and at least slightly enjoyed, he still hasn't taken a life himself. He really wants to believe he has standards. Killing Alejandro would cross one of those.

It doesn't help that despite how dangerous Alejandro is, and how clearly he's pushing the limits of their deal, Alejandro actually does listen to Noah. He hasn't knowingly gone after innocents. He hasn't physically hurt Noah.

If anything, Alejandro has been gentle. He'll snatch him up when faking his death for a crowd, but he never squeezed and always checked to make sure he was okay afterwards, even when he was trying not to make it too obvious. Alejandro had a horrible habit of messing with his hair yet despite his claws Noah never had a scratch on him. He'd put Noah on his shoulder to go for a swim without getting him wet.

To let him look down at the destruction he helped caused against people who spit and cursed at Noah. To help him feel above others and his actions. To somehow spoil him rotten with attention to practically beg for a reaction. Noah's dark humor as he watched bastards die was to cope, the smirk that grew on his face a coincidence. He felt nothing to hear Alejandro laugh as if they were just sharing a regular meal.

Alejandro had also caressed his throat with a claw the first chance he had power. He had felt a vice like grip when he dared to argue back. So long as Alejandro is huge, Noah is going to be relying on Alejandro's mercy. As recent events have shown, that can be a finite resource.

He'll just do more research to see if his idea is even a workable one. He'll figure what to do next after that.

Researching more about magic led to him learning about a new faction: sea witches. They were merfolk who were able to use magic for means aside from simply changing sizes. They made potions, used rituals, spoke chants. Their powers came primarily from the deals they made with others. There were rumors that deals like these could make magic accessible even to humans. Other rumors said that humans could learn to use magic independently.

Sea witches and sea monsters are naturally at odds with one another. One needs people to make deals, the other needs people to eat. Or at least, to stay as big as they do for as long as they do. Turns out sea monsters can in fact survive without eating humans. It's just that humans keep them bigger for longer. Figures that Alejandro would lie about having to eat people out of necessity.

As a result, sea witches did create defenses against sea monsters. Including spells that would strip them of their magic and force them into their smallest form. Bingo.

Unfortunately, while there are mentions of magic in the database, there don't seem to be any actual spells/rituals there. Something about sea magic not mixing well with technology. He's going to have to ask Chris directly to see if he'll be interested in shrinking Alejandro rather than killing him.

Chris is alright with this because hey, a small merfolk you can put in a tank sounds perfect for exposing and becoming famous! (Not that Noah will actually let Chris take Alejandro away, but he doesn't need to know that.) He'll just have to lie a little to his husband about plans to kill Alejandro, no big deal. And...ugh. He's going to have to actually try to read that magic book to find something about shrinking things. Noah's immediately interested in seeing that book for himself, but Chris shuts him down immediately. Chris will look at the magic shit, Noah will just be the one getting them whatever they need. A coffee would be a great start.

So Noah ends up becoming more like Chris's assistant. He gets used to getting Chris coffee or do the more boring research a lot. Chris uses Chef to get the more out there ingredients for this new ritual he's managed to find. And he starts sending Noah to carve out runes around town. Something about 'using the town's natural magic to siphon that of the sea beast'. Noah would prefer to know exactly what he's doing, but Chris keeps being cagey about Noah having to know things.

During all of this, Noah still has to meet with Alejandro to keep him happy. Thanks to overindulging during spring break, Alejandro's in a much better mood. However, he's being rather clingy with Noah. If Noah didn't know any better, he'd think Alejandro was trying to keep him from being able to have time for anyone else. It makes finding time to work with Chris and Chef a lot more difficult. He can't juggle stroking Alejandro's ego, Chris's ego, and going to classes all at the same time. So he decides to sacrifice going to classes. He'll help Chris and Chef during that time and Alejandro won't question him being away since he knows Noah needs to 'keep up appearances'.

It sucks because after the spring break party, he had actually been considering trying to know some of the others more. If only to take a break from Alejandro. There is one person who won't leave him alone though: Owen. Owen finds out through the grapevine about Noah not showing up to classes and immediately gets to texting to check on him. Noah makes up a lie about not feeling too well/needing to step back, and Owen buys it. Still, now that Noah's responded to one text, Owen takes to texting him throughout the day. Because he was pretty serious about trying to get to know Noah. And Noah would never admit it, but it's nice that someone else cares to check up on him. Plus, Owen is terrible with secrets, so he ends up blurting so much gossip about the others. Noah gets to make sarcastic remarks about them, and Owen just rolls with it. It's nice.

Eventually, Noah's suspicions about Chris outweigh his need to be cautious. So much so that he decides it would be better to try to break in to Chris's and Chef's place to see what exactly this spell book is saying to do rather than just take Chris's word for it.

It's written in a language he doesn't understand. He doesn't have the time to decipher it since he doesn't want Chris or Chef to know that he's in their house looking at it. He does manage to find the pages that Chris has been frequently using, though. They're the only ones that seem to be in English. He's not surprised to learn that Chris has been lying to him about the spell. He's horrified to discover to what extent.

Chris gives absolutely zero shits about this town. He wanted something that would help him take care of this sea monster problem, and he didn't really care how it was done. He practically had to fight the book to show him anything that wasn't in nonsense gibberish. But then, for once in his life, the decided to be book is on the same page as him. It showed him a ritual for mind controlling a sea monster that involves a rather brutal sacrifice of a whole town's worth of people. That sounds like a WAY better deal than regular fame and fortune!

Noah was already not happy when he found out about the mind control. As much as he's worried about his Alejandro, he doesn't know if Alejandro deserves that. Knowing him, he'd probably prefer death rather than being forced to obey someone else. Then Noah reads to the end and discovers the whole 'sacrifice a town' thing. That's what the runes around towns were for.

He'd been putting so much focus into trying to take down the literal monster, he'd forgotten all about how humans could be metaphorical monsters.

Noah knows how to take care of that. It's what he always does when he finds people that deserve to die.

He tells Alejandro about them.

He doesn't reveal the whole plot against Alejandro, of course. He just reveals that some sailors had been getting suspicious with the whole spring break binge eating. He infiltrated them to learn what they knew, and now they're getting too close. He's not sure how much of that Alejandro truly believes, but he does agree that if humans want to hunt him down, then they need to go first.

Noah first makes sure to screw up the ritual by fucking up his own carvings and scratching them out with the knife Chris let him use to do this in the first place. At this point he'd been using it so much it just became a force of habit to keep having it.

Then he goes on a ship with Chris and Chef who thinks that everything is going according to plan. Well, Chris's plan of mind controlling a sea monster, Chef's plan of killing one. What Noah had never told them was that Alejandro was an electric eel. He made sure to encourage Chef to use as much technology as he saw fit in order to leave them completely vulnerable.

Things would have been easier of course if Alejandro didn't decide to gloat about Noah being his loyal little pet when he shows up. Which bothers him both because it ruins the surprise and because it's condescending. This doesn't help things as Chris and Chef are quick to try to spring into action. Chef is trying to solo Alejandro, and Chris is coming at Noah pretty pissed because he's also just now realized that the ritual that should have automatically started taking action hasn't done that at all. Alejandro's occupied because Chef did still come with firepower, and Noah can recognize murder in Chris's eyes.

He's standing over Chris's body now. He knows it's a body because of the blood and the stab wounds. He knows he did it because he's gripping a knife in his hand he doesn't remember pulling out. Chef must be in Alejandro's stomach by now or else Noah would be dead. He can piece together what's happened, but he honestly can't remember the act itself. He knows he had to do it because Chris would have come to kill him first. He hadn't planned on crossing this line but seems like he did anyways.

He loves hates the pride in Alejandro's eyes. The promise that the first can be the hardest. But he's very grateful that Noah had chosen to live.

This isn't living. Rather than process, Noah points out that he's got to go back to Chris and Chef's house to get rid of any evidence that he knew them. After Alejandro takes care of Chris's body, he lets Noah go back to shore.

Noah dashes for the house, goes for the book, and hugs it like his new lifeline. Chris's book is now in Noah's possession. The book is rather content with its new owner. Because it felt Noah's desire to defend himself and his town, and willingness to put effort into doing it. It translated that ritual for Chris specifically to have something like this happen. It won't translate itself again, but if Noah's truly like the book thinks he is, that shouldn't be a problem.

Noah now has an unfiltered shot at evening the playing field with the book of a sea witch. Time to fight fire with fire.

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hiemaldesirae · 7 months ago

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Swap au nonny: no plans to write this at all, so go ahead an write away =)

But yeah, Valentino thought Vox had it in the bag--now he believes that Alastor doesn't deserve death, but should be someone's bitch for eternity (he should have been Vox's, but seeing how the deer acts with Vox's stuff, he would probably like that). Velvette doesn't know what to think. She misses Vox terribly, and hates Alastor, and is very upset with Valentino for not going to Vox's distress call--she definitely would have gone, but wouldn't have made it in time as her true demon form doesn't have flight. Velvette basically did most of the work for all 3 sectors of the Vees while Alastor was punishing Valentino and Valentino's souls, and becomes friends with Niffty during those first 4 years. Once Alastor takes back the reigns and Val gets back to work, Velvette goes back to what she used to do too. Like things are mostly unchanged for her. (Mostly because she befriended Niffty and eventually Rosie. Her doing that saved her)

As for Vox's sector? His giant monitor room is clean by Niffty and is visited by Alastor once or twice a month, where Alastor ponders what Vox exactly did in the room. His office has been taken over by Alastor, his last ideas and drawings framed and safely kept in Alastor's bayou space. Vox's contracted souls continued to work for Voxtech...until a day after Alastor realized Vox was back, and that's when Vox gently pulled on their chains and called them to him. (Not like there was many left. Alastor did actually land a killing blow. Vox had to use some of his contracted souls to heal himself, destroying them in the process. But Vox lived, and that's what matters.)

Alastor does say I love you to the head he sleeps with in his bed! Also, I'm sorry, and I didn't mean too, and please come back to me. I'll be better. I'll never hurt you again, my love.

Vox does have PTSD. It's so bad that he has to take relaxation meds to go to the overlord meeting (since it's required for both allied overlords to show now) and Alastor will definitely be there, with his ally Rosie. It's fine though he has Husk.

YEAHHHHHHH YIPPEE THANK YOU NONNY I WONT DISAPPOINT I PROMISE!!!! (question for writing purposes btw. do charlie/vaggie know that vox is there on behalf of lucifer or does he just Show Up)

Urghm. wughd. imgnonna. Throw up. what the FUCK !!!!!!! what thde FUCK...................!!!!!!!!!! valvel going the FUCK through it while theyre both mourning their best friends death and harbouring so sososo much guilt from it all...if hell had therapists theyd need it more than anyone else please someone put the vees together in a cage so they can hug it out :(

oh god als such a fucking freak. i just know hed keep all of voxs old shit like pristine and clean and just looking like it was preserved in time or something, even when hes also making voxtek employees come in to do constant upgrades so that it seems more like something vox would do. trying to hold on to the pieces of him that he still has left while changing them to make it feel as if vox never left in the first place... and also, once alastor finds out vox is alive again, does he jump to the idea of having someone infiltrate the hotel to keep an eye on him or something? cause if he sends his shadow, sure thats not something they can get rid of, but he also doesnt know how well vox will respond to his shadow- even if they were close, alastor *did* kill vox nearly permanently, so is this potentially how the hotel gets niffty?

banging my head against the wall WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SAYS SHIT LIKE 'ill be better' AND 'ill never hurt you again, just please come back to me'.... makes me think of those like, manhwas or whatever where the mc goes back in time to save someone they loved but treated like shit. they make my heart hurt what the FUCK nonny why would you do this to me.... urgh. the worst part is knowing alastor is that he does honestly probably mean it but in like His way. the toxic doomed yaoi way. like he's going to kidnap vox and keep him by his side forever if it means the other won't get hurt and almost leave again. which is usually a good thing because again. freak4freak radiostatic enthusiast here . but for swap!vox... oh my poor dear. he's probably freaking the fuck out whenever he sees al. is there even any ending where radiostatic gets a happy end :sob:

ough i can imagine husk just like standing protectively in front of vox during the meetings or something, like if rosie tries to get close to him or something he tells her firmly to leave because even though they were friends, vox cant even look her in the eye anymore because in his eyes, she *knew* what al did and still stayed by his side. she knew he killed vox and probably condoned it, and she'd probably help him do it all over again if they could- or at least that's what he thinks, but she really is just trying to get close to him again and cant understand why he's pulling back so hard. and the image of al trying to approach vox after a meeting or something only to be met with val and vels interference as husk takes vox and flies him back to the hotel- valvel get punished severely afterward for keeping them apart, obviously, but theyd do *anything* to keep vox safe especially because last time, when they didnt do enough, he almost died forever

#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #general asks #radiostatic #swap au

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rynekins · 8 months ago

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Yessss, Doggy Daycare Season 3 is about to begin, and because this will be the last season, I was hoping to celebrate by including OCs from those who read it. Just wanted to clarify some things: -Leave a comment or reblog if you have an OC you would like to include. -I will eventually contact you for a character ref, though I cannot say when or if you would be included (when the comic has been drawn with your OC you will be notified before it is posted) -Your OC will be included in one comic at some point in Season 3. Possibly multiple panels. It's not necessarily first come first serve, your design might determine what scene it fits best in. -You will be credited. -I might ask for details of your OC, what would NOT be OK for them to be doing, or which characters might be your fav, but not for what scene you want them to be in. These are background characters. -Do not be pushy. I promise there is no need to remind me. This season will take a while. -Multiple comments/reblogs do not affect your entry. -The OC has to be some sort of animal that isn't too anthro. Think of how the characters look in this series. -It can be your fursona, but it can't be someone else's. I can't accept your word that I have someone else's permission to draw their character. -I'm not looking to compensate anyone for adoptables. I am asking for permission from people who enjoy the comic if they want to be included. -Be absolutely certain you want to share your OC, I won't be able to edit them out later. I will be posting on tumblr and insta (and sometimes my stuff is stolen and posted elsewhere, I can't control this) -I reserve the right to not include your OC for any reason. -One OC per person. -There is no deadline, unless you're reading this from the future when the series is over. I'll be checking this post every now and then. -To prove you read these, include in your comment or tags what kind of sweater would look cute on Sunny (the creativity of your response does not affect your entry) Lemme know if you have any questions. Thanks for reading! See you soon! n_n

#superstar doggy daycare au #puppysun #kittymoon #fnaf au

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guppygiggles · 6 months ago

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I've been wanting to create a tickling blog here for so long, but I'm afraid I'll get judged. What if no one like my drawing style or will I just go unnoticed? A counter question to you. How difficult it was for you to create your own blog or did not have any difficulties to do it

I have actually provided a very long-winded answer to this question once before, which you can find here. You know my wordy ass is going to answer this again anyway, though.

Ahem.

In terms of your art... here's what I'll say.

Draw for you. Draw every day, if you can. Draw what you want to see, and pay no mind to what other people think. Use references. Try to improve a bit each time, when you have the energy. If not, draw anyway. Draw "bad", draw ugly, draw unfinished, draw experimentally, draw with different tools, but draw. Even if all you get is mileage with no intention to improve, you will anyway, you won't be able to avoid it. Think about how kids draw... they're not TRYING to get better, yet, they do. Everything you draw counts. Everything you draw is growth, even if you don't see it. One day, you will. Promise.

That's it. That's the best advice I can give you about art. It's just that simple, and just that hard.

Unless you are trying to make a career (read: money) out of art, what other people think about your art is immaterial.

My art went unnoticed, at first. Understandably so, because at time of writing, I've only been drawing for six months. I didn't care, I just kept drawing, because I was drawing what I wanted to see, not what I thought would get attention. It happened eventually, regardless, and it will for you, too, if you are diligent.

Look, I'll even show you some comparisons. Let me reiterate... I started drawing in November/December last year.

Left is when I started, right is now. Am I an expert? No, of course not! Are there people who think both my new and old art is cringe? Yeah, probably! Ask me if I care, haha!

I draw every day, I draw what I want to see, and I try to improve a bit each time. I try to improve so that I can get closer to recreating the images in my head, not so I can meet someone else's expectations.

I still miss the mark, all the time. Hell, that dancing piece I just did a few days ago didn't come out how I wanted at all, but it's still better than what I could produce six months, or even two months ago, and that's good enough for me!

If you feel compelled to make art, do it. Do it for yourself.

The satisfaction you will experience from expressing yourself in the ways you feel drawn to will far outweigh whatever disappointment you might occasionally feel from going unnoticed... and for the record, I find it highly improbable that you will go unnoticed if you're making art for long enough in this community. The tickling community eats tickle content up at every skill level, from what I've seen.

I'm going to end this with my favorite piece of advice I've ever received, about talent in terms of making art, from the wonderful painter Richard Schmid.

"Don't bother about whether or not you have it. Just assume that you do, and then forget about it."

#ask

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lurkingteapot · 1 year ago

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Kimi ni ha todokanai. 君には届かない。 Ep 2

My Japanese ability is GOING, ffff. I only just realised that there's nothing in the Japanese title that implies ability – it's a statement of fact: "(something/someone) does/will not reach you". What is it listed as on … whatever streaming service has it with English subs?

ANYWAY let's get this going.

Kakeru is so cute with his games and his super rare items and his steadfast belief that Yamato WILL draw something good

I know a lot of folks are very over the "realisation of feelings" story archs, but I really love them, partially maybe because while I did know I was ~different really REALLY early on, I didn't manage to pinpoint any of the reasons (queerness, neurobullshit, you name it) until I was in my twenties, so.

oh wow that was kinda … not mean, but man, Hosaka, you got Yamato RIGHT where he's weak

asdfadfda I love Mikoto and the Oohara sibling dynamics are impeccable. Chef's kiss.

I love the imagination/reality scene

Kakeru is so confused, it's adorable.

"betsu ni" RIGHT (oh man I really want to see how the translators handle this dialogue)

this is making me want to read the manga

I love this careful vulnerability they've got going on. I can see the one step forward, two steps back thing getting annoying if they draw it out too much, but oh man this feels real.

"I'm afraid of losing this" TOO REAL

urgh Fujino read the room

I SNORTED when Fujino was like "I can be envious even WHEN I have a girlfriend"

awww Kakeru, hate to break this to you do sound like you have a crush though?

oooh Hosaka's thinking it, too

love that effect they put on Yamato here

Mikoto and Hosaka, huh?

I love the friends in this, too

ooof the "you were supposed to hand in this homework but handed in the other thing instead"? someone's distracted

oooof, that's cold, Yamato

!!!

oh god kids please, that roof has NO RAILING

this preview is EVERYTHING

I'm starting to think maybe I should just binge Japanese shows, the episodes are always SO SHORT and that way I'd be less prone to accidentally dropping them (I'll get back to you eventually, Tokyo in April is …, I promise!). Wonder whether we're going to get any more information on whether Yamato's dad ever regained consciousness, and what his mother is up to.

Who else is watching? :D

#君には届かない。#君には届かない #kimi ni wa todokanai #i cannot reach you #I won't reach you #kiminai #キミない #I can't reach you #kiminai ep 2 #bl watch liveblog #my nonsense

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lachiennearoo · 2 years ago

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I AM ASSEMBLING A TEAM FOR A LOW-BUDGET ANIMATED MOVIE

I know am asking a LOT right now, but considering this is a passion project without a deadline or budget, I guess it's why I'm asking here (and well, I'm no professional lmao).

In 2019, I wrote a short quebecois (french canadian) cyberpunk, action, sci-fi story novel. It was my most beloved project, and it still holds a big spot in my heart (even tho some newer stories of mine are higher quality). Ever since I made it, all I've done is draw scenes, characters, anything from it. I have a folder of about 200 pictures, animatics and concept art added to it over the years. One thing doesn't work for me to do the project though: I can't voice act, I can't make music, and I can't animate (well, not anything above basic storyboards, and I wanna do something in 3D lmao).

I have... well, not a lot of money (no seriously, I am VERY broke). So well while I can try my best to pay anyone who is willing to help, I can't guarantee it'll be a lot (which I know it can be frustrating, as an artist, to not be monetarily compensated for your hard work, so that's why I'm saying it now).

Due to all of this, I'm only asking for people who are GENUINELY interested. I can't provide much in terms of budget so I don't wanna give anyone false hopes. But I promise that I will work very hard to fill in any position that I can, like script writing, character and environmental concept art, direction, I can even try to voice-act if there's not enough actors! As for the work itself, I allow as many breaks as needed. You're allowed to work on any personal project if you ever feel tired or overwhelmed. I too will take many breaks. I don't mind how long it takes, months, one year, a few years even, as long as I know it'll eventually be done and that the people working are genuinely interested.

Now if you've stuck this far and are still interested, I'll share the requirements:

MOST IMPORTANT PART: I am searching for 3D modelers and animators (if you can do both that's cool but it would be nice to separate tasks so it's less tiring for each person working). My characters are very diverse-looking and expressive, so above all, I'd prefer someone who can animate faces well because that's really what I want to pop out (but if you can't, that's okay too, I'm not THAT picky) (tho despite being cartooney, I'm more in the simplistic, Clone Wars - Arcane department than I am in the realistic Disney - Pixar one)

I need voice actors who speak french. No English-only speakers, sorry. Most should be natively québécois (or french who can imitate the accent fluently) but there's a few characters who are anglophones or have a french accent, so that could help too if you're not from Québec but wanna make a voice. The story is rather dramatic and action-packed, with a lot of violence, fight scenes, screams of pain and agony, all that, so be ready for that

And of course, I'd like to have some people who can do the soundtrack (one person or more working together). The story is sci-fi/cyberpunk taking place in Québec, so I'd expect someone who can go more techno, european (and cinematic too)

YOU DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND FRENCH TO WORK. I'm fully bilingual so I won't have trouble communicating with you. The only language requirements would be in voice-acting, or if you're working in team and need to communicate with someone else, but otherwise there really is no need because, well, google translate is a thing, and I can always be a translator for you as well if needed.

BONUS: If there's someone available (you don't HAVE to for that part, it's just to make things easier, but they're not requirements because those are all things I can do myself), I could always get some bonus script writers to help the process go a bit faster, and translators in case someone wants to put subtitles in different languages

Here is the folder of (most) of the art on Artstation: https://www.artstation.com/rosaliegosselin/albums/2467754

And here is a very short animation I did for it a while back (if you don't want spoilers tho, don't watch it, it's one of the last scenes of the story lmao): https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/782216

And here's the story itself (it's just in french tho, sorry about that, but you can just use Google translate): https://www.wattpad.com/story/214223068-magicae-automata

I hope you feel inspired! If you know anyone who might be interested, do feel free to share this with them! I look forward to working with you! Shoot me a DM if you're interested, and if I get enough people, I'll start a discord for all of us to talk!

#movie #animation #3dart #3d render #3dartist #voice acting #advertising #jobsearch #filmmaking #cyberpunk #french #quebec #queer representation #gay pride #3d model #modelling #animated movies #movie production #free work

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z-haven · 1 year ago

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I feel you linger in the air ep 12 thoughts.

Somehow I ended up watching the cut version of the episode because the uncut version was unlisted. So I did just watch the scenes I missed and then later on I'll watch the entire full version.

But first off, I heard that season 2 is confirmed and this just makes me so happy and seeing Commander Yai in Jom's dream made so much sense because I'm so looking forward to their arc too. But first let me cry about my 1920s Yai and 2023 Jom please because they are literally breaking my heart.

Yai and Jom are connected through dreams and time. A dream would lead Jom to (with Yai's help) frantically dig near a frangipani tree and not find what the dream showed him because it was never his time to find it. Season 2 would hopefully elaborate on the existence of the gold lion designed ring. We know the ring is connected to the other Yai. And remember his words (translated to English) "Jom, listen to me. I may give you this ring so that you'll be reminded that my heart will be only yours forever." A ring placed on his left ring finger and a vow to love him forever. Alright, who's sobbing now?

A quick google search and right at the top of my search page showed that the gold lion ring worn on someone's right hand enhances leadership qualities while on the left increases the protection of the wearer. Jom wears it on his left hand so obviously it signifies him being protected and also loved by Yai.

But in all seriousness I believe that when Jom meets Yai in the other timeline and he receives this ring he will know that the dream he had was meant to come true. But just like he's had the opportunity to experience 1920s Yai's love in real time, so too will he be able to experience 1967's Yai love as well.

But back to the 'current' Yai and Jom. They know what's going on with Jom's fading away and finding ways to come to terms with it and make it easier on each other. Yai will cover all of the mirrors so Jom doesn't have to constantly experience worry over his unusual situation and Jom affirm to Yai through words and touch that he is right here with Yai and that their love anchors them to the present.

Which is why their lovemaking scene felt like it might be their last, or they'll treat every moment like it's their last, like they're holding on to a lifeline. Yai and Jom's tears are a combination of their euphoric feelings during sex and the knowledge that they may never see each other again. But I'd prefer to focus on the euphoric feelings as Jom wraps his arms around Yai.

And Jom, doesn't leave any loose ends unraveling even as he knows that he and Yai may eventually part ways. One of the ways he does this is by letting go of Ohm fully, unknowingly to Khamsaen, by giving him advice about Fong Kaew and the possibility of their future together. A future that has hurt Jom but the fact that he's able to put that 'past' him because he realized that even if someone left a negative impression in your life, there may be some sort of lesson that's learnt from your experience with them. Khamsaen may not fully register Jom's words to him nor will Ohm make the connection to his past life and Jom's involvement but it's a way for Jom himself to let go of all the hurt he experienced with Ohm and focus on Yai, even if they're on limited time.

Pilot scenes are always slightly different either with clothing choices or even setting and personally I don't mind because I'm always surprised by them. Especially since I didn't realize that Yai's little budding artist moment would be the moment Jom isn't just transparent but is literally fading before his very eyes. And what else could they do but hold on to each other, reaffirm their love and Jom's promise to wait for him at the House of Palathip.

Because that house is the focal point for their connection to each other - through time, through dreams and through promises, through Jom and Yai's drawings that connect the past and present and through a letter from Yai that Jom was meant to access after Yai's death, after all these years.

But Yai's here, right in front of him. But how? Did he time travel?Maybe I am reading this wrong. Maybe this is a 2023 version of Yai who knows his past but then he says "I have never left this place." Which made me think that this is still 1920s Yai and that because Yai has penned his love for Jom in that letter, because even drawings can link past to present/future that it acted as a gateway for him and Jom to meet again. Because as they kissed, the scene changes and we're back at the house being the way it was when Yai and Jom spent their time together. Because within that house, they are each other's home.

Edit: (so depending on from whom you reblog whether it's directly through me or through another this may or may not show up). So basically.

We're not sure of a season 2 (Nonkul got my hopes up and there was the after credit scene) but I'm looking at Director Tee with very hopeful eyes "Pretty please"

2023 Yai is Yai Kanthorn - a reincarnation of 1920s Yai who remembers his past. And it makes sense. This is a time travel/reincarnation storyline.

#I feel you linger in the air #I feel you linger in the air the series #Yai x Jom #z-haven posts #just adding here since I can't edit #Okay so I heard that I may have been mistaken about season 2 #I mean if after credit scene then why not #and I found out who the present day Yai is #So he is Yai from 2023 named Yai Kanthorn #also go read tipsyjaehyun's post on episode 12 because they clarified who he is

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writersmilex · 1 year ago

Text

Sour Connection

Murphy Pendelton X Fem | Reader

Summary: (Y/n) still continues to show herself in his life and he can’t understand why. Why doesn’t she leave him like everyone else has? Even when he is directly faced with the consequences of his misdeeds. (A/n): This story can be seen as a continuation of Bitter Revenge, but it’s not directly that.

______________________________________________________________

“You’ve got a visitor, Pendleton.” Officer Coleridge appears at the bars of his cell. Murphy’s eyes drop from the drawing on the corkboard and meet the Officer’s hopeful gaze. A visitor, that could only be one person… Without another word, Murphy stands up with a huff and reaches his hands out the open space in between the bars to get cuffed by the officer.

“You still have contact with someone?” The officer starts to make small talk with the prisoner. Murphy snorts, (Y/n) is still as stubborn as she used to be and is still trying to reach him. “Childhood friend…” Murphy replies to the officer, “She… won’t let go, never has.” Coleridge grins at the prisoner’s reply. “That means you mean something to her. She cares for you, and you should cherish that.” He smiles as the two reach the visitation ward. Once the two entered the ward, there was a separate space for each visit, Coleridge wordlessly directed Murphy to one space. Murphy swallows nervously, ready for a scolding from his friend. He doesn’t look at the other side of the wired glass until he sits down. Looking up, he finally looks up and makes eye contact with the only person willing to see him from outside, (Y/n). Her gaze is less scolding than he has assumed, but still stern. She looks more disappointed than mad or hateful. Her movement is smooth as she picks up the receiver from her side, moving it to her face without breaking eye contact. Murphy mirrors her movements, bringing the receiver from his side to his ear. “(Y/n)?” He calls her name quietly, but despite her facial expressions, he still prepares himself for a scolding.

"What have you done, Murphy?" She asks, desperate to understand his situation.

Murphy's feeling of nervousness sinks away, replaced with determination.

"What I have. to do…" His answer is cryptic, keeping his motives vague for both her and the officers monitoring him.

"No, you don't." (Y/n)'s gaze turns sorrowful, causing him to feel a pinch of hurt in his tormented heart. He is sure she is smart enough to come to the conclusion of his plans on her own, she knows everything that happened that led to this.

"Yes, I do." He argues, that his desire for revenge is greater. "He has to pay. People like him don't deserve to be coddled by prisons." he tries to reason, but by the look on her face, she doesn't seem to budge.

She lets out a deep disappointed sigh, "I kept your space on my sofa, you know." (Y/n) confesses to missing him. "I'm not giving up on you, Murphy…Please reconsider. I'll be waiting for you." She says, placing her hand on the glass. Murphy hesitates but returns the gesture, touched by her words.

"Time's up." An officer calls and the two are separated again. ~~~~ As she promised, (Y/n) didn’t give up on him. Showing up for visitation every week, and sometimes two days a week. And she even got gifts for him on his birthdays! For three whole years, this kept up. Murphy was sure that one day (Y/n) would eventually grow tired of waiting for him. That she'd just stop showing up and abandon him, but she didn't…

But she never left him throughout their history. Minimizing contact was his idea when he got married. She was never happy about that. But losing a few friends when getting engaged is a normal occurrence.

But now, she is almost all he has left. And he is growing paranoid. Murphy’s thoughts are scattered, unsure if what he is doing is the right thing. On one hand, he wants to get his revenge on the man who took his son’s life and subsequently his as well. And on the other, he wants to stay with (Y/n)... or at least to be able to go back to her and then stay with her. And in his wildest fantasies, maybe start over… Murphy opened up to Coleridge about the “mysterious lady-friend” as Coleridge puts it. He described her as a “long-time friend who has been there for him through thick and thin. And she is not letting him go, even now.” Officer Coleridge seemed pleased to hear this. “That friend of yours, (Y/n). You shouldn’t keep her waiting for any longer than necessary, right?” Coleridge speaks up while escorting Murphy to his cell. Murphy’s gaze remains downcast, he slightly regrets telling him (Y/n)’s name and now he won’t stop talking about her resulting in Murphy being unable to stop thinking about her.

“Such forgiving people as her are rare to come by. If you find one, you should keep them close.” Frank wisely states, Murphy cringes inside. He is drowning in conflicted thoughts and desires. ~~~~ Murphy has a journal in his cell to write down his thoughts, having your freedom taken away really does something to a person, and certainly when you have such a difficult situation as Murphy has. Every night just before lights out, he’d jot down his thoughts to keep them organized. Murphy eventually decides to go through with what he has planned from the start. Accepting Officer Sewell’s offer for help and getting to Napier, he is going to get what is coming to him for sure. He can’t help but wonder what (Y/n) would think of it. She understands why, but doesn’t know how, and not when either. She made a promise to him, would she live up to it? Surely, she is not one to break promises, even if it involves Murphy’s revenge fantasy coming to life.

Taking a seat at the side of his cot, Murphy pulls the dusty journal from under his pillow, along with a pen. Opening to an empty page to put his mind on paper for all to see. Dear, (Y/n) I’m still surprised that you’re around. You are really not letting go of me, are you? Typical (Y/n). Even when we worked at the cinema as rowdy teens you stood up for me even if it meant getting punished unjustly. And I admire you for that, how forgiving you are.

Would you still forgive me for what I’m about to do? I cannot rest until that monster gets what he deserves. I can't lose you either, you're all I have left, (Y/n). Please don't leave me…

Murphy's writing comes to a halt when a droplet falls on the paper, smudging the ink. He leans forward and rubs his face and lets out a heavy sigh. Emotions running high.

He can only ponder what is coming to bite him in the end, even if he can't go unpunished for the misdeeds that are yet to be committed.

~~3 weeks later~~

“What do you mean transferred?” (Y/n) asks the desk sergeant in astonishment. The officer lazily pushes his glasses up his crooked nose, “I’m sorry ma’am… But due to alternative events, the prisoner under the name, Murphy Pendleton is being transferred to a maximum security prison." He explains with boredom evident in his voice.

(Y/n) is desperate for more answers on what is happening to her friend. "Was there a riot or something?" She questions with her voice raised. She really doesn’t wish to make a scene, she wants to know what is becoming of her friend. "I'm afraid that's classified for you ma'am." The sergeant replies in the same monotone voice, only frustrating (Y/n) more. Surely, she is not the first to react like this if his reactions are so minimal.

To refrain from screaming, (Y/n) takes deep calming breaths and rubs her eyes. "Can you at least tell me where he is being transferred to? I'm his emergency contact." She asks with a much more controlled attitude.

The Sergeant's shoulders drop, finally relenting. "Fine, he and a group of inmates are being transferred to Wayside Maximum Security Penitentiary." He replies slowly. His eyes ghosted over the screen of his monitor. (Y/n) sighs, triumphant in her answer. Then (Y/n) doesn’t waste any more time, thanks the desk sergeant and leaves the premises to her car. In her car she takes a few deep breaths, Her friend is going to a maximum security prison, meaning that she can't visit him any more than she wants to. (Y/n) has to do her best not to cry, She has been trying so hard for Murphy, to be there for him as much as she can. But it’s getting difficult to do so the longer she is apart from him, separated by steel bars.

She leans her head against the back of the car seat, closing her eyes to calm down. She made a promise to him, and he’d be all alone if she left him now, and that is the last thing she’d wish upon him. No matter how hard it gets. Leaning forward again, (Y/n) turns on her GPS and types in the name of the penitentiary to make sure she knows where it is, then she can fill out the paperwork regarding being Murphy’s emergency contact. Hopefully, it is not too far from the previous prison. Whilst driving towards her desired location, (Y/n) can feel her mind reeling with unanswered questions and mysteries. What on earth happened in that prison that required Murphy to be transferred to Maximum Security? The desk sergeant did say anything, so her best assumption is that Murphy got involved in something, which doesn’t surprise her much with him being high on the desire for revenge, she had feared this all along. (Y/n) becomes a little distracted while thinking hard, not very safe if you’re driving in this growing fog. Just in time (Y/n) spots the large crevice that completely cuts off the road. startled by the road suddenly missing, she swirls her car off the road into the ditch, the vehicle tumbling down the hill and finally coming to a stop at its side at the bottom. ________________________________________ That’s quite a cliffhanger, isn’t it? The ending is terribly rushed, I know. But I think it highlights the separation between Murphy and the Reader's Character.Thank you for reading.-Smilex

#x reader #reader insert #imagines #angst #silent hill x reader #silent hill downpour #murphy pendleton x reader #murphy pendleton #cliffhanger

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yellowvixen · 10 months ago

Note

Hi, hello! Binturong anon with a lot of word vomit here, so be warned. I just read your reply to my ask and I'm so happy right now! I was slightly worried for a bit that you didn't like my silly little story, but hearing that you put off posting it because you liked reading it made me feel warm inside. And you want to draw it someday??? 😳 I can't believe this I'm hdhdjgk

As for my Sol OCs, I do have a few that are specifically parallels, but I'm never quite happy with them. There's always so many good ideas and I sometimes end up finding other people's takes on them that are SO cool (like Rime!) or that have ideas I was thinking of and I'm suddenly paranoid that I'm ripping off somebody else's character...

I absolutely get the struggle of deciding things like species, there's so many cool animals to use and I freaking struggled deciding on ones for mine. The Knuckles one is probably one of the most complete actually, but unfortunately I cannot show you her or any others because I'm not an artist. 😞 So I just rotate them all in my head until I think "Nice" and put it down on a digital notepad. I'm always interested to see others create their takes on them though! I'm certainly interested in all of yours!

I never considered Team Dark, apart from my Sol Shadow, who's definitely the least thought out. There's so many other cool ones out there, so I never really bothered. The few I have, if you're curious, are supposed to be Knuckles and Amy, to round out Blaze and Marine's Classic Quartet basically. And also a different Sol Eggman, because Blaze's nemesis being Eggman in G-major feels like a kick in the face to both Blaze and the actual Eggman 😒. (I also have a Sol Big but she's technically a joke character. She's also really small. I gave her a dinosaur though, as all women deserve.)

Anyway, basically just wanted to let you know that Rime is cool and I'm going to be thinking about that reply for the foreseeable future. Have a good week!

SORRYY I LEFT THIS SO LONG stuff kept happening and then I got ill and then more stuff happened 😩

But! Yeah!! I think it's cool seeing other people's ideas for stuff like this, like I know for sure there are other versions of Sol Shadow out there that are ice powered cats like Rime!! I don't rlly think it's the end of the world if people independently come up with the same ideas as long as you don't purposefully copy anyone.

God you're so right about there being so many cool animals to choose from... Sol Rouge was easy for me but everyone else is being a pain skfjfhdgd. Eventually I'll figure them out though. (One day I promise...) Also! It seems like you have the descriptions of characters down even if you can't draw them, so you could always commission someone!!

I love the idea of Sol Amy too, I personally have 0 ideas for them so might not design my own version tbh. But having a Sol Classic 4 is super cute! You could have a lot of fun with their designs too, the way classic Amy looks pretty different from modern Amy. Sol Eggman too... I've just kinda retconned Nega and made him actually be from the Sol dimension idc about canon LOL I haven't thought about it too much.

Also TINY SOL BIG??? I'm in love that's so cute and such a fun alt version. With a dinosaur too FUCK yes.

I really love how imaginative people are when it comes to the Sol dimension, actually giving it more characters and lore! If sega won't give it love then at least we will 😤

Thank you sm for enjoying Rime, and once again sorry this took so long for me to answer 🥲🩵 I hope you have a nice week too!!!

#begging forgiveness 🙏 didn't mean to leave this for so long #answered #rimeverse

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fairly-linked · 1 year ago

Note

Hello if request are open. Can I request twilight headcanon with his werewolf reader?

-🐺

Ooh, sure! Good idea! If it's okay, we're gonna say reader becomes a werewolf by night. Enjoy! 💕

Twilight With a Werewolf Reader:

When you're still new to the chain, he's a bit confused as to why you constantly offer to take watch. He doesn't understand; everyone needs sleep. Why were you so adamant about not getting it?

This draws suspicion, and not just from him. Everyone's a bit on edge around you, the two most cautious ones being the Old Man and the Vet, naturally.

Time does eventually allow you to take watch, but someone else has to accompany you, to which you oblige, but on one condition: it has to be the same person every time.

Knowing Time already has his hands full, Twilight steps up to the plate. It's the older brother instinct in him, he can't help it.

At first, Time's pretty hesitant. That's a dead giveaway that you're up to something, he just doesn't know what yet... but after some convincing, claiming you have a hard time seeing in the dark and need it to be the same person so you aren't fooled, he reluctantly gives in.

So he obliges, letting Twilight take over. Twilight's a bit nervous at first, he doesn't really know you... but for the sake of his group, he swallows his fear and does it anyway.

Right before sundown, you saunter off somewhere, and no one can find you. Twilight notices this, and he realizes you're much like him in that sense, when he turns.

Hours pass, and he starts to get a bit worried. Had something happened? It's dark out now, where were you? Everyone else had gotten tired of waiting for you and went to sleep.

Twilight jumps suddenly at a rustle in the bushes, drawing his sword quickly.

"...Twilight? Are you the only one up...?" he hears. It's your voice, calling out softly so as to not wake anyone.

"...Yep, jus' me..." he replies carefully.

"...Promise me you won't be scared? I won't hurt you, I promise..."

At the frightened tone of your voice, he sighs, lowering his sword. "I promise... you can come out...."

...Twilight is not prepared for what he sees. It's... you? But you're... you look like a werewolf. Golden eyes, (h/c) fur, unnaturally long claws, and you're much taller than before... several inches taller than him, even. he's sure you're much faster, too.

"Whoa... (y/n), that's you...?" He questions, moving closer in an attempt to wrap his head around your new form.

He hears you sigh. "Yes, it's me... This is why I wanted the same person to be up with me. I didn't know how you'd all react..."

'That's reasonable,' Twilight thinks to himself. "How...?"

You sigh again. "I was cursed by one of Ganondorf's most powerful mages years back. I've brought this issue to every magic dealer in existence, and none have been able to break the curse."

"...I see." He says. "Well... you and I ain't so different. You keep my secret, and I'll keep yours?" he asks, extending a hand to shake. You oblige, an eyebrow raised. "Uh, sure? But what secret...?"

He only smiles, putting a hand over the strange-looking pendant around his neck. It becomes too bright for you to see clearly, but the next thing you know, a wolf with the same markings Twilight bears on his face stands where the rancher once stood. You know it's him.

"Whoa..." you gawk, kneeling to get a better look at him. He only stays this way for a minute before changing back.

As the light fades, you see him standing in front of you as a normal Hylian once again. "Some o' them don't know, so I don't wanna blow my cover. Also, I can't talk when I'm like that anyway..."

Thankfully, no one wakes up. The two of you have a lively conversation until Time gets up for the next watch.

When he sees you, he freezes, not recognizing you at first; but Twilight's quick to explain So that's what you'd been up to.

You saunter back off into the woods when Time takes his watch, sleeping in a nearby cave.

If anyone tries to ask why you were sleeping so far away, you just claim you need privacy. Usually does the trick.

Either way, Time sees no harm in keeping you even if you turn in such a way. He knows he and Twilight will have to explain it to the boys eventually.

But for now? Twilight's just happy to have someone to relate to.

#linked universe #bek.answers #lu twilight #🐺 anon #thank you anon #bek's.fics

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not-a-space-alien · 2 years ago

Text

K&J x MMSS 3: Kane & Valen Part 6

Chapter 6 of the third crossover with @whumpsday!

REMINDER THAT THIS WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING! I promise it will be ridiculously fluffy and happy! (eventually - this one is pretty rough but we are getting pretty close to the happy part. darkest before the dawn and all that.) (although maybe that's not the best turn of phrase here...)

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

SERIES IS 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Death wish/suicidal ideation, nonconsensual bondage/restraint, gag/muzzle, torture, vivisection, burns, discussions of rape and accusations of lying about rape, misgendering of a trans character, “it” as a dehumanizing pronoun

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

It's a few hours later when Kane smells humans nearby. He's not quite sure how many, but he can tell it's more than one.

Terror floods him: it's daytime. There's nowhere to run if they're found.

"Valen." Kane whispers urgently, shaking him awake. "Humans. Be alert."

Valen is instantly on the verge of panic. "Kane. Kane, we have to run. If they find us--Kane, if there's more than one I'm not sure if I can use persuasion on all of them at once. I'm out of practice."

"Run where? It's the middle of the day and I'm nearly naked. I'll be burned to the point of immobility instantly." Kane's breaths come short with panic. "Valen, please, please, just, just tell them t-to go away."

"You're right," Valen says, on the verge of tears. "You're right. Okay." He grips Kane's hand fiercely. "I'll tell them to go away. You got us this far. I'll try."

He peers out of their little blind to see if he can spot where any of them are.

The second Valen peeks his head out, a gun goes off and a silver bullet lodges itself directly between the eyes.

Kane screams, clutching Valen’s limp body tight. "NO NO NO! PLEASE, WE JUST WANT TO GO HOME!" he cries. The hunters- three of them- draw closer, and Kane can see with utter horror that he recognizes them. "NO NO NO! PLEASE SIRS, PLEASE NOT AGAIN! PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME BACK!"

"If you thought it was bad before, you just wait. You killed one of our own, you disgusting fucking parasite."

Kane sobs. "No no no no no, please, you d-don't understand-”

Wait. He’s not helpless this time, he has the stake. He grips it tight, his salvation. He won’t go back, and neither will Valen.

He doesn’t have long. He can hear the hunters getting closer, footstep by footstep.

Kane positions the stake over Valen’s heart. He just has to kill Valen, then himself. Then neither of them will have to feel pain ever again.

The point of the stake touches against Valen’s chest. All he has to do is plunge it in.

In a moment of weakness, he hesitates.

A second shot rings out, and everything goes black.

Kane wakes up back in his cell with a throbbing headache. His cell. His cell. He looks wildly around, quickly spotting Valen slumped on the floor. Her back looks somewhat better: he realizes they've likely been out for days. But the new additions look so much worse.

Valen's new muzzle is silver. He can see the edges of the skin it touches burning underneath. A silver lock in back keeps it securely in place. It's my muzzle, Kane realizes. He hasn't seen someone else wear it before, but that's definitely his own muzzle. As if that wasn't enough, her throat is a bloody mess. They've ripped out her vocal cords.

Kane shakes with terror. He's back, and now Valen's here too.

He decides to let Valen sleep, sitting next to her and waiting. He knows she's going to be in for a world of pain when she awakes.

But a couple of hours later, surely enough, Valen wakes too. He hurts so badly when he wakes up. Everything hurts, but especially his general head area. A throbbing headache --he's been shot, that must have been how it ended--a ragged hole in his head, the bullet wound. If it's just the bullet wound, why does his throat hurt so badly?

The worst is the burning on his face. It takes a moment to figure out what it is, but after his hands fly to his face to confirm his horrified suspicions, he feels the metal burn his fingers and knows the muzzle has come back on. No, not the muzzle. A new one, this one is bare silver and it burns and burns and-

It's never going to come off, because he's dangerous, it's never going to come off and it's going to just burn forever.

He looks up, waves of fresh terror and panic lancing through him, and they don't stop--he sees Kane, looking horrified, they are together on the floor of some jail cell.

These were Kane’s hunters, his original ones, the ones with their endless cruelty, weren’t they?

No, no, this is worse than being recaptured by Nick's hunters, this is so much worse.

Kane can see the pain and fear in poor Valen's eyes, and it suddenly hits him that Valen was almost out. The death he's longed for so badly, for years, Valen almost had. But he hesitated, and now Valen is here too.

Valen scrambles over to Kane seeking comfort, and tries to put his head against Kane to nuzzle like he'd done in the past, but the metal on his face burns Kane and he pulls away, horrified.

The muzzle burns him quickly, and if there's one good thing about their current situation, at least they're able to be together. He winces with a yelp at the burn, then wraps his arms around Valen to hold her close, careful not to touch the muzzle.

"I'm so sorry," he says, his voice thick with tears. "I sh-shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have staked us both. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You were almost free, you needed me and I let you down, I'm so sorry."

Valen shakes his head. He doesn't want to die. He wants the pain to stop, but he doesn't want to die yet, not before getting to experience all the good he knows life can offer. He's horrified by the suggestion that Kane thinks he's done Valen a disservice by not killing him.

It's only been six months for him. He hasn't lost hope yet.

He starts to lose it now, though. Because Kane and Valen had made such a warm connection, and now have such a fondness for each other, and Kane is saying I should have killed you. Kane would rather see Valen dead than here. Kane would rather be dead than here.

Kane had thought Nick's torment to be relatively light compared to what he was used to. Valen could tell. All signs point to the possibility that there are horrors in store here that Valen can't even imagine. And Kane had said he'd always been afraid it would go on forever, because the hunters turn over here.

Valen tries to scream, overwhelmed by the horror of the situation, but he has no vocal cords, nothing with which to even make a muffled sound. He clings to Kane even harder, tears streaming silently down his face.

Kane is, selfishly, relieved when Valen shakes her head, presumably indicating she didn't want to die. His hesitation was driven by pure cowardice, but it had been the right choice. Maybe. Assuming Valen doesn't start wanting to die after a few years here.

The muzzle had always come off, for him. It would sometimes stay on for days, tearing the skin away from his face when it was finally removed, but it always came off. The hunters like hearing him beg and scream.

It wasn't going to come off, for Valen.

"I'm sorry they used my muzzle." Kane says. He tentatively runs fingers through Valen's hair, trying to impart comfort. "I'm sorry you're here too. Um, there are some things that are better here, even if... even if there's other things that are worse. At least we can be together. It might be okay, since, that's one good thing here now. And, and there's no- none of Nick's night visits. There's no rape."

It occurs to him that he does not know that for sure. He was never raped. But he's a man. "...I was never raped." he amends quietly.

It seems like a very bad sign that the best Kane can come up with to comfort Valen is saying that maybe Valen won't be raped here. Valen knows how to handle being raped. It's not pleasant by any means, but Valen built up those defense mechanisms long ago. He's used to his body not belonging to him. His body always seemed to belong to someone else, from his theoretical future husband growing up, to Priscus, then for a brief shining moment to nobody but himself before it belonged to Nick. And now, apparently, to these hunters.

Kane seems to feel like being raped is a special kind of torture, but to Valen, it doesn't even hurt sometimes. It's dehumanizing, but it's just another way his body doesn't belong to him, among the nightmarish repertoire that has been added recently.

He'd take it over wearing a bare silver muzzle any time, he decides instantly.

Valen slowly lowers himself onto Kane's lap, desperate for whatever scraps of comfort are available. He carefully maneuvers himself so the silver muzzle is only touching the parts of Kane that are clothed--this has the effect of him essentially lying in Kane's crotch, facing upwards to look at his face, but Valen has no shame. He slowly raises a hand and places it to the side of Kane's head, wiping tears away with the pad of his thumb.

There was a time when Valen laying there would have mortified Kane, especially now that he's aware Valen is not devoted to a husband, but the two of them know each other intimately by now. He only blushes a little bit. "They're not all the same. Just like at the other place." Kane continues, holding Valen in his lap. "Some are crueler than others. Um, the worst things here are... being left out in the sun all day, and when they leave silver inside you, and... being cut open and having your insides messed with."

"The least-bad are humiliation- some just want me to repeat things like that I'm lower than dirt, I'm a disgusting leech... I guess you couldn't repeat stuff. Or they'll make me roll over and bark like a dog or something. Or sometimes, there's just regular beatings. They're not too bad. So it varies. It's not all... the worst things. And some hunters will go easier on you if you beg. You can't use words, obviously, but I'll beg for you, and you can still use your eyes. It's... it could be worse,” he concludes half-heartedly.

He's trying so hard, Valen sees, he's trying so hard to make this as bearable as possible. Valen loves him for that. It's such an impossible task, but he's trying anyway.

He wants to ask if they will go easier or harder on him because they perceive him as a woman. He thinks about unbuttoning his shirt. He's been told his breasts are nice, so maybe the hunters will just fondle him.

Maybe Priscus will come save him. Maybe that would be all right. Priscus seemed convinced that Valen would come to his senses and return to his loving embracing any day, and would occasionally try to check on him, so maybe he'll eventually notice Valen is missing. Maybe he already has. But who knows how long it would be before Priscus thinks to search human territory. But there's always the possibility. Valen could probably convince him to take Kane home as well, and then once they're safe again, Kane and Valen could leave Priscus together. Priscus wouldn't be thrilled about Valen's intimacy with a new man, but he wouldn't hold it against them. Well...he might hold it against Kane. But probably not enough to abandon him to be tortured.

Valen closes his eyes as Kane plays with his hair, imagining they're in a better scenario, that they're lying playfully together on Valen's couch back home, safe and worry-free.

They're allowed a few hours of peace before a hunter comes down to check on them. Kane knows this one, though he doesn't know his name. He's one of the very bad ones. Kane pushes Valen off his lap and into the corner, sitting in front protectively.

Valen's stomach drops in dread as Kane moves in front of him. That means there's something to be protected from, and he knows it likely won't work. They are almost completely helpless.

"Looks like the leeches have woken up." the hunter sneers. "Aw, does that hurt?" he mocks Valen. "It's not coming off, so get used to it. The vocal cords are coming out every time they regrow, too, just to be safe. Can't be too careful after that stunt the two of you pulled."

Valen lets out a choked sob when the hunter confirms his fears--that the muzzle is not coming off, and that he has this new thing about his vocal cords. Or at least, he tries to sob--the motions for sobbing happen, but the noise he makes without his voice box to vibrate is more like a gurgle.

"Sh-she's not at fault, sir. It was me." Kane says meekly. For one, it's true. And for another... he wants to protect Valen as much as he can from his hunters. His selfishness is the reason Valen's here in the first place, and she's so new. He has to protect her.

"Oh, I know it was you. You were the one who was fed. It was all in the notes." He taps on the cell bars. "Not that yours was quite as convincing."

It dawns on Kane that the hunter thinks he was lying to try and make his actions look justifiable. "I was t-telling the truth, sir." he says quietly, tears in his eyes.

"Bullshit. Who would wanna fuck a damn vampire?" He rolls his eyes.

Holy shit, this guy thinks no human would want to fuck a vampire. Why? Because they're unattractive? It was never about attraction. It was about power and humiliation. Valen thought it had been obvious, but maybe not.

The hunter continues, "We're gonna leave you for a little bit to get all nice and starved again, and then believe me, you'll be punished for what you've done. If you thought a week in the sun was bad, just wait." He turns his gaze to Valen. "Get over here and let me take a look at you."

"She d-didn't do anyth-"

"Learn from your friend and shut the fuck up, leech." the hunter snaps.

Valen presses himself further into the corner. He is suddenly grateful for Kane being in front of him, and he balls up behind him, the exact opposite of let me take a look at you.

Oh no, Valen is being disobedient. "It's going to be worse if you're disobedient." Kane whispers. "Go, it's, it's, there's nothing we can do. Just do what he says. I'm sorry."

"Now." the hunter says, getting impatient.

Valen is completely unused to the idea that his behavior will impact how severe the torture is. Nick hardly ever cared what he did in response to the torture, either in the day or at night. His animalistic brain is only capable of telling him how to deal with pain and threats that are right in front of him, and right now it's blaring alarm bells that he needs to stay away from this man, not get closer to him. He's locked up, frozen, unable to activate any of his higher brain functions. They'd never saved him, only made things worse. He can't make decisions. Decisions never saved him. He stays where he is.

"Ooh, looks like we've got another bad leech. Remember when you used to be disobedient?" the hunter asks Kane with a cruel grin.

"Yes, sir. She, she's not bad, she's just scared, sir. P-please, mercy, she's just scared." Kane knows it's useless. This one doesn't bend to begging.

"It should be fucking scared. Bring it here."

"Yes, sir." Kane looks at Valen apologetically and helps her to her feet. "I'm sorry." he repeats quietly. He promised he'd protect Valen, and he's handing her right over to this hunter. Valen doesn't realize that this is protection. It's going to be so much worse if she keeps being disobedient. He'll explain later, when they're alone.

Valen is stiff as a board as Kane moves him closer to the hunter. He has to practically be dragged. He doesn't struggle, he just stays frozen. He makes tearful eye contact with the hunter. He's never wished more than he does now that he had practiced using persuasion more, learned how to do it through eye contact.

What would I ever need it for? he'd so foolishly thought. I don't want to hurt humans. I'll just talk to them. Besides, they're too weak to really be a threat, right?

The hunter backs away as Kane approaches. As if I'm going to reach through the bars and hurt him? What would that accomplish? He gives Valen's hand a gentle squeeze, then backs away.

The hunter approaches, grabbing Valen by the muzzle and pulling it forward so it grills into Valen's skin, forcing him to move right up inches away from the silver bars of the cell. "Yeah, we'll get that defiance out of you soon enough. At least you're a little more well-trained than this one when we first got it, you've got that healthy fear. You should've seen it, mad as shit, ranting about how it was gonna slaughter us all as soon as it got out of here. Guess it finally got one. It's not gonna get another, and neither are you. So you'd best learn to behave."

The hunter reaches in with his other arm and grabs Valen by the back of the neck. He wrenches Valen's head up to expose it, then pushes his injured throat against the bars.

Valen tries to scream, but he can't. He can't even open his mouth very far. The hunter's words roll over him, he's barely listening, head swimming with terror.

Defiance? Behave?

That's not how it works. That's not how it's supposed to work. Valen doesn't have enough freedom to do anything meaningful, to either behave or misbehave. What fucking difference does it make if he sits on the floor for a few extra seconds instead of snapping to attention and running over? Nick is going to pull him up off the floor when he wants to use him. There's no punishments, there's no rewards, there's just the protocol, or being a chewtoy. It was flat out incorrect and stupid to assign defiance as the motivation for any of his behavior.

Nick is-

Nick isn't here. This isn't Nick. This is some other man, and he's just shoved the gaping wound in Valen's neck into the silver bars. Pain explodes down his body. He hadn't thought it was possible for the neck wound to hurt any more than it already did, but it hurts more. He writhes, trying to scream, and brings his hands up to the man's wrist around his neck, grabbing it to try and pry it off, sinking his nails in-

"Valen, don't!" Kane cries, full of dread.

The hunter throws Valen to the ground hard. "Oh, we can't have that." He examines his wrist, not too injured, but bleeding. Luckily, both vampires have had their fill relatively recently. "Looks like you're gonna get a little sunshine too, then."

"NO!" Kane knows this is different: the hunter isn't talking about Nick's 30-minute sessions. He's talking about a full day at least, possibly more, with their faces exposed to the sun. "Please, sir, please! She didn't mean to!"

"It's gonna learn the same way you did. I'm not giving it a fucking grace period. It better learn quick, or it's gonna be crispy a lot." He leaves for now, planning the punishment for Valen's transgression.

Kane rushes to Valen immediately. "You can't, you c-can't do that, you can't." he says, tears streaming down his face. "I should have warned you, I'm sorry."

Valen knows now he's made a horrible mistake. He is too used to the way things worked before. He hadn't realized he could make things worse for himself, ever. He's used to clawing against an unyielding wall. He's not used to having to scrutinize his behavior. To make decisions. He's not sure if he can do it. Not even if he's punished. He's not sure if he can force himself to be that present. To override his animal reflexes to danger. They were all he'd had in the past few months, before Kane came.

Valen crawls forward, sobbing silently, clutching whatever part of Kane is closest.

Kane scoops Valen up in his arms, cradling her against his chest, mindful of the muzzle. He carries her back to the corner, sitting cross-legged with Valen in his lap.

"It's different here." he says softly. "You have to do what they say. Always. Disobedience is harshly punished. They didn't let me breathe for days when I hesitated to come close for the silver collar, that was the last disobedient thing I did before Nick picked me up, and that had to be- months before, maybe even a year. You have to obey. No matter how horrible obeying seems, it always gets worse when you don't. It's not like with Nick." He takes a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I wish I could do more, I wish I could really protect you. I'm so sorry."

Kane knows how to stay safe, Kane knows how to make it as bearable as it could possibly be. Valen knows he needs to listen. But it's going to be so hard to do so. His body is trained to strain against restraints. To try and save himself, as impossible as it may be. He probably wouldn't even bother trying, except that it's Kane telling him to try, his Kane.

He nods, clutching Kane's hand. I'll try. Thank you.

"It's... it's not okay, but we'll get through it. We have each other, now. So that's, that's always going to be one good thing. When I got here, I was... you know. You heard him. And I learned. You'll learn too, and then it'll be a little easier."

You'll learn too. That is terrifying to Valen, not comforting. Learn what? Valen had always thought Kane was referring to learning that hurting others was wrong, learning that compassion was a value and not a weakness.

Valen already knew that.

What is he going to learn?

The vampires are mostly left alone for the next few days, as they're waiting for Kane to get a bit weaker. Hunters come by often to take a look at the new vampire, and some to taunt Kane about his failed escape, and each time, Kane shoves Valen behind him and sits in front. After a few days, four hunters come down with both boards.

Kane can hear the thunk, thunk, thunk of the boards being dragged down the stairs. "Valen," he says urgently, holding tighter as his heart pounds with dread. "They're going to put us in the sun, face-up. Keep your eyes closed. And, and when they drop us back in, if you land on your front, try to flip yourself over. It hurts so much worse to peel yourself off the floor if you let your skin dry there than if you do it right away."

Valen drinks in Kane's instructions, knowing his hard-earned experience will lessen the misery just a little. It's so hard. He wants to drift away, to imagine himself somewhere else. But he has to be here. He has to pay attention, and make decisions, and not act like an animal.

The sun was his least favorite thing. But Kane was right. They would both get through it. They have no choice.

Valen obeys the hunters this time when they give him instructions, although it's very hard to do so, and he's not very good at it. He scrambles with clumsy motions.

Both vampires are ordered to get on the boards. One small mercy is that they didn't bother with the effort to replace the now-steel cuffs back with silver. At least Nick did that one thing.

But instead of being dragged outside, Valen is propped up against the wall of the cell where he can watch, while Kane is laid out on the floor.

"I want you to remember this, leech." A hunter grabs him by the chin. "This is the punishment for killing a human."

"Yes, sir." Kane shivers in his bonds.

"You're gonna be a good example for your little friend, aren't you?"

"Yes, s-sir."

The hunter pulls out a knife and cuts Kane open in a Y shape. Starting at his shoulders, meeting in the middle, and going all the way down to the bottom of his abdomen. He starts to cry, letting out a strangled scream. The steel knife is swapped out for a silver one, and the hunter starts indiscriminately hacking away at Kane's insides, a sickening sizzle almost inaudible behind Kane's agonized wails.

They tell Valen they’ll make him watch if he tries to look away, but he doesn’t. Valen is having flashbacks, all the way back to before he was married. The class. Vertebrate morphology. The dissections. Frogs, sharks, cats, rabbits, fetal pigs. Being knuckle-deep in preserved guts. His mind drifts, watching the situation from a dispassionate, disconnected view.

You're doing it wrong. That's not how you do a dissection. That knife is far too large for delicate work. You're tearing the abdominal membranes. You'll lose points for that. The Y shape isn't even the best option for the initial cut.

He fades back in to Kane's screams. His Kane. For some reason, it's so much worse now that they've had a few conversations, shared a few hours free together. Maybe it was because Valen had had the opportunity to imagine what the future could be.

He wants to beg them to stop. There's no need for this. We can talk like civilized creatures. All he can do is swallow, and cry. He cries a lot.

The hunter is not dissecting Kane, he doesn’t care what’s optimal. His only goal is to be as painful and damaging as possible. When he's satisfied with the amount of damage he's done, he waves one of the other hunters over. Valen's shirt is ripped off and tossed on the floor of the cell. Kane and Valen are both carried upstairs, where they're given the first indication of time they've had since coming here: it's nearly dawn, the edges of the horizon just starting to blue.

Kane's breaths are ragged and strained as his body struggles to function, eyes wild with terror. "N-no." he begs weakly, dreading going out in the sun with all his viscera exposed. "Please. I'm s-sorry."

Valen is left on the porch, propped up against the building. "You'll sit the first hour out. You can take a look at what happens to disobedient parasites."

Kane is placed out in the open, and he shuts his eyes and mouth tight, muffled sobs barely held back. As the sun rises, they turn into muffled screams. The sight of his exposed guts burning in the sun is almost as vile as the smell of it.

Valen isn't here. He's physically watching, which is what the hunters seem to care about, but mentally he's elsewhere. The sight of his Kane in such terrible pain, in such an unthinkably cruel situation, is too much to watch. After his initial bout of crying and fruitless efforts to beg, his face goes lax, his eyes blank. He looks at Kane's guts, burning in the sun. Falciform ligament. Liver. Gallbladder. Lesser omentum. Spleen. Stomach. Duodenum. Ligamentum teres. Transverse colon. Ascending colon. Sigmoid mesocolon. Mesentary. Greater omentum.

"Alright, your turn." The hunter still left there grabs Valen's board. Kane has quieted to sobs and whimpers by the one-hour mark, but begins making more of a fuss at overhearing this, making urgent little sounds. Remember what I told you, Valen. I'm sorry. Please please please don't do this to my friend.

Valen is dragged next to Kane and left there.

Valen has not been subjected to the sun nearly as much as Kane, but he knows he will never get used to it. It's enough to snap him back to the present, to blast him back down into his body. The pain is far too overwhelming to ignore, to escape even mentally. It's everywhere, it's everything. Valen closes his eyes, closes his mouth, closes his fists. It makes no difference whatsoever.

To his dawning horror, Valen realizes quickly that these hunters intend to leave them out in the sun for far, far longer than Nick ever did. There is no time limit they have to abide by. They could leave them out here forever if they wanted to, both of them strapped there, unable to save themselves, unable to escape even in death. And he understands instantly now why Kane wanted to die. Why he apologized for not killing Valen.

Kane had been here for years. Subjected to this for years, with no end in sight. And now that's Valen’s fate as well.

Valen is not going to survive this. He knows that in his heart. His body will survive, but everything that makes him Valen will die, burned up under the cruel, relentless sun. It already feels like it's burning up. Whatever other side of this exists, the creature that comes out the other side will not be him.

It had already happened to Kane. Kane had been transformed into an entirely different person. But Valen is not going to turn into a kind, gentle version of himself. He has no idea what he would become. What could possibly be left, what charred remains the hunters will be pulling in from the sun when, or if, they decide it's been enough burning, he had no idea.

He has no ideas at all. There is no room in his brain or body for anything except this all-consuming burning.

A day passes, the sun sets, and the only sound that can be heard is Kane's soft crying. Valen cannot see, speak, or move. He is dragged back inside and dumped on the floor of the cell, facedown, Kane still out there.

Valen remembers Kane's words, and makes the Herculean effort to flip himself over so he's face-up. He has no desire at all to make this any worse for himself.

It's hard to be certain, but it seems like he is alone. That makes it so much worse. He desperately wants to grope blindly forward and find Kane's hand.

He's left alone like that for days. It's hard to say how many. The blood he consumed from Nick a few days ago helps him heal a little faster than he might normally in a starved state, and while the burns won't fully heal for at least a week, he can see and move again after the first day left in the cell.

When he's healed enough to be cognizant enough to look around the room and confirm that he is, in fact, alone, he curls up in a ball and cries. He wants Kane to be here with him so badly. Kane must still be outside. His Kane, left outside like that, all this time. The thought is unbearable. He would do anything to be able to drag Kane back inside, away from the sunlight. Someone comes to whip him during this time period, to make sure his back is in pain as well, but he barely even notices it. He is inconsolable, trying with all his might to beg them to bring Kane back inside to him, but even if he could move his mouth, no sound would come out.

Valen had thought he'd been in Hell before, but even then he'd still been naïve, unaware of the true depths of cruelty life could conjure up. There had been a basement under Hell, a place you went to when you died in Hell and were wicked and deserved to be punished.

He puts the shirt back on, eventually, though he knows it probably won't last. Kane had arrived with barely any clothes, so he imagines Valen won't be afforded this luxury permanently either.

When Kane is finally returned, dumped on the floor and making no effort to move, Valen's initial thought isn't relief, but what is that thing they're throwing onto the floor? The shock when he realizes what–who–it is makes his stomach drop. He crawls over, hands shakily touching Kane, then retracting when Kane makes pained sounds at the touch.

But it's his Kane. He's back. Remembering what Kane had said about flipping over, when the hunters leave them alone, Valen gently gets his hands under Kane, trying to avoid the burned flesh as much as possible, and flips him with what little strength he has. He wishes he could care for Kane the way Kane had cared for him when Valen had been burned, back when they'd tried to escape. Back when a life besides this had seemed possible.

Kane screams when Valen flips him, though it's muffled by his sealed lips. He breaks off into whimpering after, but now he knows Valen is here. The simple fact of not being alone makes it just a little bit better. If he could move, he would reach out for his friend desperately.

Someone comes to freshly cut out Valen's healing vocal cords the next day.

Kane takes about the same amount of time as Valen to heal, having been more consistently well-fed than at the time of the escape, but damaged worse. As soon as he can speak again, he tells Valen in a raspy voice, "Th-thank you. I love you."

I love you too. Valen wants to say it, but he can't. He's not sure if he'll ever be able to. But hearing it from Kane is enough. He tenderly brushes his hand against Kane's face, being careful not to exacerbate his burns, tears falling down his cheeks. He smiles as much as he can.

Maybe he'll make it through this after all. Even here, there is love. He feels like as long as he has that, he'll survive. As long as he has love, he can hold on.

***

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