#I'll be real I had this ready to post like 6 hours ago

[royalarchivist]

Phil: I still stand by, if I get a snail, I'm gonna fail RP and log out.

Sneeg: I don't think they're gonna give you one just like, unsolicited. Especially 'cuz you've threatened to not play? 🙄

Phil: [Cracks up] I've played these games before! I've done it before, man! I genuinely probably need therapy, but I'm just putting it off! [Laughs]

Sneeg: How do you explain to a therapist that you're attached to an Egg from Minecraft though? 🤨

Phil: Ok, so there's this server, right? And it's ran by my friend, and– It's– brings in people from various different cultures and languages, and then– and then he decided: "Oh, you know what would be really cool to keep people playing? And invested? What if we give them a fcking EGG?"

Phil's Chayanne and Lullah emotes were made by @strawbekka.

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Phil: I still stand by, if I get a snail, I'm gonna fail RP and log out.

Sneeg: I don't think they're gonna give you one–

Phil: Good

Sneeg: –just like, unsolicited. Especially 'cuz you've threatened to not play? 🙄 Um...

Phil: [Cracks up]

Sneeg: I don't think they're... I don't think they're gonna gamble on that.

Phil: I'm not doin' this NPC, like– actor– like, thing on server again! I've played these games before!

Sneeg: [Laughs]

Phil: I've played these g– I've done it before, man! I genuinely probably need therapy, but I'm just putting it off! [Laughs] For- for fckin'–

Sneeg: How do you explain to a therapist that you're attached to an Egg from Minecraft though?

Phil: Ok, so there's this server, right? And it's ran by my friend, and– it's–

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] There's this server– and then there was an Egg, with a glock. [Laughs]

Phil: –Brings in people from various different cultures and languages, and then– and then he decided: "Oh, you know what would be really cool to keep people playing? And invested? What if we give them a fcking EGG?"

Sneeg: Attachment. [Laughs] Attachment to something!

Phil: "What if we give them an Egg that- that has wants and needs? And you need to look after it."

Sneeg: And a personality!

Phil: Yeah, "And a personality, and- [stammers] and quirks and- and–"

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] And its life's in danger, people– things were trying to kill it.

Phil: Yeah. And things keep trying to kill it, and you have to save it, you are its– you are its only s– hope.

Sneeg: If it dies, it's your fault. It's your fault! Your fault. [Laughs]

Phil: [In unison with Sneeg] Your fault! Your entire audience of thousands of people will be PISSED if you don't care! If you don't care, you are a MONSTER!

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] And they're so valid, they're so valid 'cuz it's true.

Phil: [Laugh] Imagine joining my stream, and I'm just like reading a bedtime story to a little Egg.

Sneeg: [Cracks up]

Phil: Like– [Laughs] Like, what a CRAZY way to come back!

Sneeg: "Oh, my favorite vanilla Minecraft streamer Philza Minecraft's on– playing Minecraft today, let's see what he's doing!" [Voice cracks as he tries not to laugh]

Phil: Yeah, "What's- what's Kusump?" [QSMP]

Sneeg: –and you're like: [Leaning into his mic] "Humpty Dumpty." [Laughs]

Phil: "What's Kusump? What's this? Why's he got an Egg, and why is it just holding up a sign that just says 'Food'?"

[fellow-traveller]

This is gonna be long, so if you don't have the time to read it, it's cool, I'll summarise it like this:

I think I'm back. Kinda. Expect some blasts of Hol Horse fanart that I missed sharing here since November 2023 (if you followed my Twitter/X, you might have seen them)

Okay, I know excuses can be bad but here's mine to kinda justify my absence.

I admit that I had been feeling depressed with what's happening in P@lest1ne for the past 6 months, because I had never seen it happening in real time, in videos and interviews. 20+ years ago, anything about them came in the form of stories from actual P@lest1nians whom I had the privilege to meet during my volunteer work in school, and newspaper articles from local publishers. Our local broadcasters still chant FTRTTS whenever they talk about them. But the real-time atrocities and the aftermath really got me hard. I'm not one to shy away from real-life gore - true crime is my go-to documentary whenever I'm relaxing - but what's happening there - the injustice, the brutality, the depravity - can be too much for me to bear.

I'm not saying I'm used to it by now...I still hear my heart break with every dead and hungry child I see on my screen, but at the same time, I feel a bit more hopeful. Mainly because I believe in the P@lest1nians' faith and resilience, and I believe in mine.

Apart from world events, on a personal level, my company moved to a new building in December, about an extra 30 minutes drive away from my home, so I was almost on a blackout from online stuff back then. Didn't even touch the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse challenge (but thankfully they are done now...will share them later). The move-out was done around the end of January 2024, and then I got busy again with work in February. Work had been very hectic because everything had been disorganised since the move. Even now, we don't really have internet in the new building and had to use our phone data for that.

Wanted to get back last month, but delayed it until today because my cat was sick with cancer. My cat, little Vee, whom I had for 12 years, just passed 2 days ago, 1 day before my birthday ;-;

Anyway, all that said, I think I'm ready to be back now on tumblr. I know I missed a lot of drawings that I kinda promised myself to finish (like the Halloween Hol), and also posting the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse doodles. I missed other people's Hol Horse and HolPol fanart as well. I also have a few thoughts I wanted to share of our favourite JoJo cowboy too...

So in the next few hours, I'll be doing just that. I apologise for the massive spam that's about to come beforehand. Just note that if you cannot wait for the fanart blast, you're welcomed to dig for them on my Twitter/X.

On current notes, I'm in the middle of doing The Emperor Month Challenge. Basically, Hol Horse with the other Part 3 characters. I missed 2 days now, but I'll be catching up. This will be on until the end of this month.

For now, I won't be doing requests/art trades because I wanna start drawing for my JoJo OCs. I have been neglecting them for months.

Hopefully the depression will simmer down. The world is a mess, and I'm trying to soldier on.

Oh, and to my Muslim followers, Happy Eid-ul-Fitr. ♥

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

I Heard Your Laugh in London

This post is a cross between a bad poem and bad stream of consciousness studded with bad photos (which in my opinion is all bad, but here I am doing it anyway).

Before the plane over the ocean took off, at the gate we waited at, these quotes were over our heads in the seats. Then we were up for about 30 hours. No one could sleep on the plane. We were pretty exhausted and punchy when we arrived in Dublin, but check in times don't align well with flight landings. So we were off to wander the Dublin streets until our room was ready. We overpaid a lot for a mediocre breakfast-still the most money we've spent on a meal in 10 days...many others much better for less money. And we slept and we slept and we slept when we got inside a room. The next day we went to a library with an ancient text we weren't allowed to photograph. J said we had an extra ticket because 4 cost the same as 3. I know the extra ticket was meant for you. Over the special book we were there to see was another quote from Jorge Luis Borges "I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library." And then outside the pub we ate inside for lunch we saw this

As if I doubted your presence with me without it. In Belfast, there was a mural of words on the wall I didn't get pictures of, nor did I memorize it, but it went something like 'Yeah you're here and so am I-it's all real-and so I say Hello Hello Hello' right outside the doors of our converted apartment hotel. In Scotland we saw at least one piper on the street every day. Bagpipe music has always made me emotional. And then we passed this pub

Outside the pub we actually ate inside (my son ate haggis-my son-the kid who had to be bribed to eat pizza when he was 6) was this planter

L spent the past week back home from Colorado while we were here. I picked her up from the airport so I could see her for a couple of hours before we left. One of the few texts to come through since we've left home was a photo of her with D and B getting ice cream. I love the picture. And so many people, including L, including new acquaintances and my closest friends, have said how excited they are for me to be on this trip. But when I saw that photo, I missed L, I missed D and B, I missed having ice cream with them. I miss my dog. I miss my own bed and my own shower and soap. I miss alone time with J. I miss my goofy high school kid job at the library. I miss you. Traveling now mostly just makes me miss things.

We rode the train to London 2 days ago and this was scribbled (or maybe pasted?) on the sign installation directly in front of the bench we sat on

J started not feeling well on the train ride. We got off and lugged our bags to a taxi and as he drove us through the streets from Kings Cross to the next hotel room with weird soap and weird showers, windows down, I heard your laugh. I didn't see whose face it erupted from, don't know what country they were from (maybe another American over here) or what they thought was so funny, but it was yours. The same booming, bawdy guffaw I used to hear at least a few times every time I'd see you in person. I heard it here. I heard your laugh in London. I know it wasn't you. But it also was.

J still feels badly. We've seen all the sights anyway. But he won't kiss me goodnight. We won't share food at restaurants. He doesn't even hold my hand down the city streets, and I can tell he kind of wishes he could sleep in another room than me and our son, be sure he doesn't want to make us sick too. No one will see that in our photos.

Another day and we'll be headed to Paris. Which I know is supposed to thrill and delight me. Ah, Paris. The City of Lights. Romance. Art. All of that. Yeah yeah. Oui oui. I'll go and I'll try to wring the joy out of the moments I can, even if J is still under the weather (or if more or all of us are). I'll try to appreciate the privilege travel is- that I get to see all this art and culture and splendor in person, when so many people never get to leave their home town. I'll try. But I kinda just want to go home. I don't like air travel. I don't like hotel rooms. I don't like being away from my dog or being away when J feels lousy.

We'll be away for 9 more days. (Christ it already feels like we've been gone a whole lifetime and that's another one to go). I'm counting them. And I'll keep alert for more signals that you're here with me. Because I heard your laugh in London.

[xpiester333x]

And finally, to complete my yearly game posts, here's what I plan on playing in the year 2024:

1. Assemble With Care - a short little game I should be able to knock out in a few hours but I picked it up in a bundle and I have wanted to play it so I will try to knock it out this year.

2. I'm more than half way done with Baldur's Gate 3 but I likely will be playing it through January. I hope to finish it at least once before P3R.

3. Bloodborne - help.

4. Borderlands 2 - since I had such a blast playing Borderlands with my boyfriend this year, I'm looking forward to giving this game a second chance and hopefully enjoying it much more.

5. Borderlands 3 - a little less hopeful for this one, since I haven't heard much good about it, but might as well knock out the main franchise.

6. Boyfriend Dungeon - I just got this for Christmas and I'm excited for the concept of romancing my weapons :)

7. I'm also more than halfway through Catherine, so I also intend to finish that in the coming month.

8. Cat Museum - something cute and short I picked up on mega sale and want to make an effort to play this year.

9. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I actually have no idea what this game is about or if I'll like it but it was a gift so dammit I'll play it.

10. Dragon's Dogma 2 - Dragon's Dogma is easily in my top 10 games of all time, and I am SO hype for this game. The only downside is it's coming in March, and the first quarter of 2024 is pretty PACKED with games for me.

11. Etrian Odyssey - because I never finished it when I owned it on DS but I'm in my Atlus Games era rn so

12. Far: Lone Sails - I was drawn to this game for the art and it seems like a quick little experience of a game.

13. Final Fantasy 16 DLC - blanketing over the currently available DLC and the up and coming DLC.

14. Hades - a carry over from 2023's list but THIS WILL BE THE YEAR (maybe)

15. Haven - I don't think (?) this game is very long but it looks very heartwarming so I'm here for it this year.

16. Little Nightmares 2 - another fairly short game that I have no reason not to play, especially when I'm obsessed with the first one.

17. Little Nightmares 3 - I don't know what the release date is yet but like Borderlands let's try to close out a franchise!

18. Metaphor: ReFantazio - it doesn't even have a release date and I'm already excited about it.

21. Nier Automata - another carry over from 2023, but I have a good feeling about it this year.

19. NEO: The World Ends With You - I hear only good things about this game but I will be walking into it 98% blind.

20. Nightingale - Idk how much I'll actually play this game but my friend and I have been watching its development for years and we are READY

22. Nier Replicant - I watched a friend play some of this and it looked fun, and since I saw it was free on PS plus... why not.

23. Octopath Traveler - this is to feed my JRPG addiction but break up some of my Atlus obsession

24. Opus: Echo of Starsong - This was a gift like 2 years ago and I really want to play it through this year.

25. Persona 3 Reload - I ALREADY TOOK VACATION FOR IT IM SO READY 38 MORE DAYS

26. Persona 4 Arena - Because I think it's the only readily available Persona game I haven't played yet.

27. Sea of Stars - I'm more than half through this too, I stopped playing it to play Tactica so I'll be finishing this soon as well.

28. Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne - I put a fair amount of time into it this year, and I adore this game. I'm finishing it next year.

29. Shin Megami Tensei 5 - for real this year, I promise (🤞)

31. Undertale - why have I not played this? Why did it sit on my list last year untouched? Why did I install it and never play it? The world may never know.

30. Soul Hackers 2 - because again, I'm in my Atlus Games era and I bought it this year so time to play it.

32. Untitled Goose Game - for casual hijinks

I'm even more ambitious this year than last year and thats without knowing even half of whats to be released in 2024 sooo wish me luck.

[catchygetsfit-ter]

365 days later...

So... I have absolutely no idea how to start this.. but here we go.

Just over a year ago, my daughter likened me to a gorilla and Daddy Pig from Peppa Pig.

It killed me inside. She was absolutely right though. I was the biggest I had ever been. But.. it wasn't always like that.

I have always struggled with my weight. Ever since I was 11 years old. Always had the round bulbous tummy, ate a little too much, had the 'puppy' fat and didn't exercise enough.

I tried multiple times to lose weight over the years, the first real time I decided to try was age 20. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I didn't join a gym, I didn't focus on my diet, I didn't have a plan and shock horror - I didn't lose the weight.

Age 25 I decided to join a gym. That's all I did though, I went regularly, hit the exercise bikes for an hour at a time, treadmill for an hour.. then guess what I did.. went home thinking, I've done 2 hours of exercise, where's the takeaway menu, I've earned that today. I didn't lose the weight.

Age 27 I joined a gym, bought a tub of protein powder and some expensive attire and got to it. Again, no plan, no research into routines, eating plans, but I knew I needed to lift weights this time so did that. I did the classic, tried to out train a bad diet. Do you know what though, I had some success. I lost some weight initially, I felt better. I was accidentally doing what I now know is a dirty bulk. I was building muscle, I was getting stronger, I was getting fatter though. Guess what I focused on? Yep, the number on the silver shiny thing on the floor of the bathroom. It was going up, and up. In my head I needed to stop everything, the gym was clearly not working. Fuck it. I might as well go back to before. Again, I didn't lose the weight.

New years eve, 2012. Age 28. My friend is getting married and I go to put my suit on ready.. (Why I didn't check earlier than day of I don't know) and I can't fit in it.. the trousers, the jacket wont fasten, the belt is too small. I Feel embarrassed, ashamed and frankly disgusted. I put together an outfit, swearing that my new years resolution will be to sort myself out.

I spend January 3rd 2013 sat on my laptop looking at fitness advice. I find it difficult to work out what's going to work for me, what's good advice, what's bad. I take three things away from my research.

1) I need to do 3 sets of 10 reps for every exercise

2) I need to track my food.

3) I need to work my abs every day to lose belly fat. 4) Record my progress, logs, photos, vlogs.

Back then I didn't know that a good chunk of that chose to take, wasn't actually correct, but the people on the internet looked in great shape - they clearly were right, look at them and then look at me.

However - I followed it and I got results.

I was 21 stone 3lbs / 297 lbs / 134kg at the start.

I tracked everything, how many reps I did, at what weight ( I wasn't training to failure at this stage, I wasn't aware of the premise) the calories I had (I set myself a limit of 1200 a day, again I know now this was far too low) I did a daily vlog about what I'd done that day, I took a progress photo each week and what cardio I did each day.

I did a 45 minute treadmill walk on a morning before work, I then went to the gym and did strength training after work. Rinse and repeat 6 days a week and then relax on Sundays. I had blips, but I never really had a full blown fall off the wagon, 6 months later I was down from XXXL T shirts to L or M depending on where they were from. I was very pleased. I'd lost a LOT of weight. 5 stone in total. 70 lbs or 31kg.

I started my 30th birthday the lightest I'd ever been, but things were about to fall apart again. I'll detail that in the next post. Thanks for reading.

[camaro-and-smokes]

Back in Hawkins - Is She for Real? Part 1

Rating: General for this chapter, Explicit for the full fic Warnings: No warnings for this chapter Characters: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, ofcs Tags: Slow build, mentions of past trauma, AU - no supernatural events, everyone is alive, Billy Hargrove redemption

Chapters: Part 1 [PT 2] [PT 3] [PT 4] [PT 5] [PT 6] [PT 7] [PT 8] [PT 9] [PT 10] [PT 11] [PT 12] [PT 13] [PT 14] [PT 15] [PT 16]/ 16

Read on AO3 >>

Author notes: I've wanted to explore these themes for a quite a while. It wasn't until now I found a proper channel to try it. The theme is painful to me personally, yet I wanted to write this exactly because of that.

The story is finished. Tears were shed when posting the last chapter. There will be more Billy, Steve and Emma in the future 💜💜💜

::::::::::

Billy hadn't missed Hawkins a bit since he and Steve had moved to San Francisco almost eight years ago. Now he had been driving the rental car towards it all the way from Indianapolis where they had flown to with Steve. Even though this time he had chosen to go there himself, when the welcome sign of the city was finally ahead, he had thought for a moment that he'd just turn the car around. The city held so many bad memories that he actually had to remind himself that they were there for a celebration, not for opening all old wounds.

"Steve, we're here," he said nudging Steve's shoulder. Steve woke up groaning and stretched his neck while fixing his position in the seat. Billy glanced at him. "You got something there, babe," he said chuckling and pointed to his own chin. "Drool." Steve wiped his chin yawning. He looked at the quiet early morning scenery passing by as they approached their destination. "Nothing's changed." "It's so strange to be back here," Billy said and opened the window for he finally was able to smoke without having to worry about waking Steve up with it. "Some houses were apparently actually painted few years after we left, can you believe? Oh, and they built a new spire to the church some years ago. Talk about development!" Billy laughed a hearty laugh, and Steve couldn't help but to grin. He loved to hear Billy laugh. When he had started to laugh more freely, after he had started to understand that all feelings were OK to show, Steve had learned that Billy's laughter came all the way from his belly, and it always bubbled in the air for a gorgeous moment. Steve tried to make him laugh as often as possible. "When I laugh at your worse material I really must be tired," Billy said glancing at Steve, smiling, and taking a drag of the smoke. "Mom said everything is ready in our old room, so you'll get at least few hours of sleep before we have to be at Nancy's." "Are they gone again?" Billy asked when he heard the flat tone on Steve's voice. "Yeah. What else is new? At least we have the house to ourselves." "I thought they were supposed to be home." "This is one of those things that never change in Hawkins: them being unreliable."

Some time later Billy parked the car on the Harrington's driveway. He stepped out and looked around while Steve took their bags from the trunk. "I didn't remember how quiet it can be here. No wonder the neighbors were pissed off every time I left here with the Camaro around this time." "Yeah, it was always a drag for my parents to try to handle it,” Steve said smiling, and walked to the door, opening it. They went directly to their old room, the one above the garage. It too, along with the whole house, looked like it hadn't changed a bit. "Does nothing really ever change here?" Billy asked. "I don't think so. In good and in bad," Steve replied and set their bags on the bed. "Do you want something to eat? I'm starving." "I'll have another smoke and hit the bed," Billy replied lighting a cigarette. He opened the window and sat down on the floor below it.

Steve looked at him from the door and had a déjà vu. It was the day when he brought Billy and his meager belongings to the room for the first time. Billy's arm had been still in a cast after it had been operated. He had still had some bruises left from Neil's very last beating, the one he did jail time for, and he had looked worn from being in the hospital and having to shower there without his beloved hair products and whatnots. He had sat right there, on the very same spot where he was now sitting, and smoking his very first smoke finally away from Neil's reach. Now, too, he looked a bit weary and tired. But everything else was different. The long blonde hair bleached by the sun fell over his shoulders and partly covering his face, and his blue eyes examined the nails on the hand that had been operated, now as good as new. The black Metallica t-shirt hugged his torso in a way that made Steve have all kinds of indecent thoughts. This Billy wasn’t anymore the same fragile boy who he had been back then. He wasn’t healed for sure, but he was getting better. What he definitely was, was a lot happier. And Steve loved him more than anything.

Billy caught Steve looking at him from the door. Steve had the goofy grin that meant that he was thinking probably with his crotch rather than his pretty head. Billy pulled his hair away from his face with his hand and smiled licking his lower lip. Steve woke up from whatever reverie he had been in, grinning, and Billy winked at him. "I thought you were starving, as in need of sustenance, not starving the other way."

Steve shook his head chuckling and started towards the kitchen. It felt good to have Billy with him. He felt that Billy had missed so much over the years when he hadn't joined him, the kids' graduation parties and Nancy's wedding. Billy just had never wanted to come with him, and he never forced Billy to do anything he didn't want to. Steve couldn't blame him. The good memories Billy had of Hawkins were far and between.

Billy wasn't sure if he'd manage to sleep at all. He hadn't dared to tell Steve the real reason why he had wanted to come this time with him.

The last few years he had been volunteering in giving surfing lessons to kids in foster care. He could see the impact he had on those kids, the difference his time and undivided attention did, even when it was just twice a month. After careful consideration he had decided that he wanted to give more. He wanted to give his time and undivided attention to someone who didn't have anyone - full time. And he didn’t want just one. Though it wasn’t as simple as that though, not to them or him. For them – as a gay couple, adoption would be difficult. For him - he was terrified of how he would manage being a dad. He had no skills in how to nurture another life the best way possible. All he had to draw from was something he didn’t want anyone else to go through. But he had Steve, who was mother-like like no one else he’d ever met. No matter how he put it, Steve was the reason he had been able to heal, and he was forever grateful for it. Steve always made sure he was doing well, and Billy tried to return it as much as he could. In which he sucked at times because of his temper and messed up experiences, but he was getting better at it. With Steve he just maybe could pull it through. But it was still just a dream that he had barely dared to confess to himself. So, here he was, back in Hawkins, because Nancy’s baby’s christening was the closest thing he could imagine having a real idea how it might feel, to have a child, and if it really was what he wanted.

When he finally got to bed, sleep remained thin throughout the five hours he managed to stay in, and he mostly stared at the ceiling. Steve had his arm around him most of the time, which was comforting. Unlike him though, Steve slept.

Finally Billy decided to get up. Instead of a smoke, he took his running gear from his bag and went for a run. The day was sunny and it was getting warmer as the summer was right around the corner. Billy ran through the familiar streets and past all the houses that he, Steve and all the rest of the gang had spent so much time during the extra year it had taken for him to graduate. Now things were different. Almost all of the kids were somewhere else studying, including Max. But he really hoped that he’d meet at least some of them today.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a sleepy day. I did not mean to take a 3 hour nap at the end there. But I had gotten way to overheated and I apparently needed it. I am not shocked. It was not a bad day though.

I slept alright last night. And woke up at 830 in a good mood. James has given me a kiss before they left. And I was feeling alright. My foot was still really hurting but I was ready to make it through.

Anne had said we were going to start our garage sale at 10. I had a few more things to bring and I figured so we would have time to set up I would get there at 930. So I got washed and dressed and realized it was way hotter then I expected. So I changed to a lighter materialed dress. I had a little breakfast. And soon I was heading over there.

I am not gonna lie. I was pretty frustrated again. James had checked in and was told that she had hung posters and posted on social media and in the neighborhood app and stuff. Well apparently none of that had happened? So I was like. Well did you make signs? No. Alright get me some paper and I'll draw up a bunch.

So that's what I did. I tried not to be angry. But I just don't understand why she wants to keep having these if she isn't going to follow through at all. I tried not to be hurt but also like. I didn't need to be there. I could have just donated all my stuff months ago. Like I normally do.

It didn't help that my foot hurt and I was to hot. But I decided I would just. Shake it off and try to not feel upset anymore. And hoenslty it was a nice day overall. We chatted about rehearsal dinner. I finally got her to have a conversation with me about wedding stuff. Which now I know that she didn't know half of the stuff, they all would have known if they would have actually talked to us but whatever. At least she knows now. James is going to send things over to her so she can know who she needs to send invites to and plans for what she's responsible for. It was a good conversation and I feel better about stuff.

And we did sell things! We made about $65, with $10 of that being Tucker's bobble heads. We had some fun chats with people who came through. Lots of laughs. A nice set of girls who kept telling me I was so smart or a genius when I would tell them about how I like to donate small bags of clothes every time I thrift to get a coupon every time. And a nice couple with a dog. The girl is starting her first teaching job on Monday!! So proud of her. And we had a lovely older man who bought a bunch of stuff and I got his phone number to pass on to Tina out landlady as a possible new handy man for when Mr Will retires for real. His name is Jimmy and he was very kind. He decided my nickname is 'the graduate's because I misunderstood a question (I thought he asked if I was in school, and I was like what no? I have my masters. But he was asking something else and I just misheard! But it lead to a nice talk about art and stuff). I had a good time.

We finished up around 1. And puked everything back in the garage. Covered things with sheets and maybe will have one more before winter but almost all my weekends are promised to other things between work and the wedding. We will have to see I guess.

I was excited to go home though. The heat has really gotten to me and I was very hungry. I decided I would go to Burger King on the way home. I have had that in forever. And while impossible burgers kind of make me nauseous, the one at Burger King doesn't usually do that.

The line was pretty slow going. But I got my food. And a milkshake. And got back home around 130. I got in and didn't even unpack anything. Just made my plate and ate and watched a video. I felt really exhausted.

I wish I had done more this afternoon. But I did not. I just laid down. Watched a show. And eventually fell asleep.

James woke me up briefly coming home but I fell back asleep and would keep sleeping until 6. James was playing DND with their friends online.

I had the rest of my milkshake I had put in the fridge. And went to work on my alphabet blocks. I got another set done, only one set left. But my tablet wouldn't stop disconnecting from the internet and so I could like get a brainless flow going and I got frustrated and gave up. I'll finish the last one tomorrow.

Now I am going to go shower and get ready for bed. Tomorrow I hope to do lots of art. I may go buy yarn for my temperature blanket. But mostly I want to rest and make things. I hope it's not so hot. And you all have a great day.

Goodnight everyone! Take care of yourself!

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 6 Part 8

Part 7

Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."

Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.

"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.

"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."

It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.

"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.

"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."

It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."

"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."

I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."

"Who's Sarah?"

"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.

"You ok?" Liam asked again

I shrugged. "Your life is weird."

Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"

"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."

"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.

"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.

"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."

"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"

"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."

"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."

"Ewww!" I screamed.

"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."

"You think your dog can save you?"

"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."

"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.

"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.

I giggled. "No!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.

Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.

I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!

Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.

That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.

Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.

"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."

"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."

I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.

We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.

When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.

Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.

"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.

"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."

"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.

"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.

I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.

We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.

After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."

"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."

"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.

"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."

"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.

"I thought you were shy."

"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?

"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.

"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.

"What's that?"

He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."

Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.

I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.

When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.

My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"

I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.

Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.

It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.

I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.

One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.

I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.

"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."

I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.

I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.

I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.

Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.

"Ask me again," Liam said.

Part 8

[shnuggletea]

InuKagWeek 2020

Alright, to those of you still here, thank you! To those of you who left... eh, it's your choice. Anyway, here is chapter two day two of InuKagweek 2020! Loyalty. @inukag-week thanks for the poster art and here’s my day two! Still working on my own art for this piece. Something I was working on a while ago and quit. Hence why Kagome looks way better if you ask me. Thank you @petri808​ for showing me a few tricks for my posts on tumblr!

Chapter 2 of 8 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Fanfiction link HERE

AO3 link HERE

Or if you’d rather, just reading reading!

Loyalty

If I'm being honest, I never had a job in food service. But I had to assume they were all the same mostly. Things like learning the names of the drinks and the regular customers as well as how to handle a tray filled with heavy things were to be expected. However, given my place of 'work', getting grabbed, touched, and pinched wasn't. Two weeks later and I was as used to it as you could be. When you go from living in a girls home, sharing a room, and counseling sweet innocent children to your own space in a mansion and bringing drinks backstage to the dancers, it would never feel normal.

The girls were nice enough though and I never saw Inuyasha which I was fine with. Mostly.

I'd even made friends with most of those that worked there. Some were just there to strip and make money so a little inexperienced waitress wasn't worth their time. Which was fine. But my favorite was a girl named Sango.

Her eyes brightened at the sight of me, a smile on her pretty face as she paused in putting on her fake lashes. I handed off the other drinks, giving Sango her whiskey sour last. "Oh, I do love the nights you're working Kagome."

"Which is every night?"

Sango giggled, taking a sip and moaning her appreciation of the flavor. "Yes. But you are so quick with our orders. The others take forever."

"I just don't want you guys going without some liquid courage. I couldn't do what you guys do."

Sango tisked her tongue at me as I leaned against her vanity table. "It's not that bad. I mean, the audition was a little awkward."

"Audition?"

Sango went back to her makeup, lining her lips with a dark red lipstick. "Yeah. Having to get naked in from of the boss? That was nerve-wracking, wasn't it? Naomi told me she had to do the same thing even as a server. You had to too right?"

I shuttered. So everyone had to do that? Inuyasha had slept with every single girl in this place as an audition? Was that what that was? I lost my virginity to a man like that?

I swallowed my disgust and the rising vomit in my throat, suddenly feeling a desperate need to get checked for STDs because he definitely didn't wear a condom with me, and pushed off the table. "I should get back to it."

"Yep yep. Don't want the boss to catch you slacking!"

As if he could, he was never here. Too busy 'auditioning' more girls. The only one here every day, giving me a hard time, was Koga. He was always somewhere around the club, waiting to bark at me for doing something wrong or touch me. It was never in an inappropriate place but it was still unwanted. A hand on my shoulder or a push to my back. Once, he patted my butt and I nearly tore his arm off. He hasn't done it since but I see him do it to the others all the time.

Returning to one of my tables, I leaned in to be heard over the loud music. The girl on stage now was talented for sure so I was always surprised when anyone gave me their attention over those on stage. Probably thanks to the required low cut top I had to wear. It wasn't even a top really, it was a vest and I barely fit in it. There definitely wasn't room for a bra. And the pants sat low on my hips so my skin showed all the time. Every time I leaned over, I waited for a breast to fall out. Not that anyone would mind, save for me.

Plastering a smile on my face, I listened as the guy I was attending rattled off a drink order as slowly as he could to keep me there longer. It was a struggle to keep my fake smile up. He finally finished, certain he was touching himself under the table the whole time, I fled to the bar. Far from safe, it still had fewer men ogling me at it.

I rested, waiting for my order and Naomi stood next to me. "Hey, Kagome? I'm not really sure I should say something but...there's a guy here who keeps sitting in my section and watching you."

I suppose stalkers were a normal thing here. It didn't mean I was okay with it. "He's watching me? With that going on?"

I thumbed towards the stage as Sango did a super sexy split on the pole. Not sure what I'd do with myself if I was ever that sexy but it was nice to dream. "Well...I've only been here a few days but yeah. I wasn't going to tell you until I was sure. I mean he's far less creepy than the other guy that watches you…"

"There are two guys watching me?!"

She grabbed my shoulders to reassure me. "I'm not really sure! I haven't even been here a week yet. But it seems like this guy is definitely here to watch you. He sits in the corner booth in the back so he can see you but you never seem to see him…" I gently pulled from her hold and made the quick decision to face the creep. "Wait, Kagome!"

I waved back to her, heading off towards the mentioned table. "Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble."

I didn't have to go all the way to the table, figuring out pretty quickly who it was. Shaking my head and growling a laugh in irritation, I walked right up to Inuyasha who looked a little taken aback that I seemed to notice him. Crossing my arms over my chest served two purposes; hiding my overexposed breasts and showing him how pissed I was at him in general. How the hell did Naomi not know who this was? She auditioned for him last week!

Setting his drink down carefully, he cleared his throat over the loud music and adjusted his seat. "I just wanted to check on you, that's all. See how my investment was holding up."

That wasn't good enough for me and I told him as much by not changing or saying a thing.

"This is my club, damnit, I can come in and do whatever the fuck I want."

"Yes you can, Boss," Koga said, coming up from behind out of nowhere. "Everything up to your standards?"

There was something about Koga. He said one thing but clearly felt another. Inuyasha had to be ignoring it, no way he missed the indignation in Koga's demeanor. "Everything is fine, Koga. Except for your customers getting too handsy with the wait staff!"

To my added irrigation, Koga put his hands on my shoulders as if to hold me steady. Never did I ever need another to keep me steady or still and now wasn't the exception. I glared over my shoulder at him but he ignored me. But then his hands popped off me as if burned and I turned back to Inuyasha who looked ready to kill someone. And that someone was Koga so he stepped further away from me.

"I'll..uh...I'll see what I can do about that, Sir."

Just the two of us again, I turned to leave but Inuyasha called out to me again. "Looks like you're blending in here. A real chameleon or just within your element here?"

Turning on my heel, I stormed back up to his table. Leaning over I put my finger as close to his face as I could. "I survive. It's what I've always done and those girls back at the home wouldn't if they were tossed out on the street. So remember that when you think I'm okay with any of this. With you, this place, getting my ass grabbed daily, or even going through your audition. I'm a survivor and I will survive this."

He had backed up a little in his seat but I'd rid the distance in an instant. Big golden eyes danced between my finger, eyes, and lips. "I can see that." I slowly removed myself from his bubble and he crossed his arms over his chest like he was the one wronged. "I said I was sorry the other night. I lost control and took things too far…"

"Do you say that to all the others too? Is this your blanket apology for using women the way that you do?"

He had been looking toward the exit but snapped back to me with my words. "What are you talking about?"

I huffed, pissed to the point of tears. "Fine. Play dumb. Stop coming here and watching me. I'm not going to screw up your stupid club."

He tried to say something but I really wasn't interested. It wasn't like we didn't live together, not that I ever saw him at home either. If he really wanted to talk to me, he could do it there.

I caught Koga grinning at me as I stormed away, feeling Inuyasha's glare on my back. All I could think was that I really had fallen into a den of demons somehow.

oOo

Checking every day, every hour, I didn't see Inuyasha return. A week had passed and he hadn't come back to the club. Meaning things went back to the way they were, not seeing or hearing from him at all. This time I was glad.

That is until I got to work on another Friday night.

The place was packed and Koga was far too pleased about it. "Kagome you're going on stage tonight."

"Wait, what?!"

"We're short-staffed and I've gotten requests. So you're dancing tonight. Be ready to go on after Kiki."

I was numb, staring at my reflection at the vanity that Sango let me use. She was doing something with my hair but I felt none of it. The only man I'd ever been naked in front of was Inuyasha and I was fine with that. It was a livable condition to my servitude. But now I was going to be naked in front of a ton more. As I said, the place was packed tonight so easily 50-60 people were going to see my bush.

"It's not that big a deal, Kagome, I promise."

"That's easy for you to say! You can dance! And you're super sexy."

Sango sat down beside her and frowned. "You're sexy!" When I frowned in return, she kept on. "You are! Plus, dancing isn't so bad. You're alone and no one is touching you. It's easy to pretend you're just dancing in front of your mirror. Stay out of the champagne rooms though. They touch a lot in there."

I'd heard about those rooms and had stayed clear the entire time I'd worked here. But I was a server. As a dancer, if someone paid to take me in there, didn't I have to go?

The question was bouncing around in my brain when the door to the dressing room slammed open. Inuyasha took a quick look around and when his eyes landed on me, they went from bronze to molten metal. The others squealed and ran while I was frozen in my seat, Sango stuck by me even as he stormed up and ripped me up from my seat. The only thing he said or did before dragging me out was grab a robe and throw it at me.

"Cover yourself."

In the bra and panty set I had worn there that night, cause no way in hell was I borrowing from anyone else, it was nearly my turn to go on but Inuyasha was taking us towards the exit. Koga stood near it, shaking with anger and...fear?

"I told you. I fucking warned you. She's not to go on the fucking stage. Ever. She can't even dance!"

"Look, I got requests, what was I supposed to do…"

"Tell them to fuck off, that's what! Jesus, what the hell do I pay you for?! When some asshole with a few bucks tells you what to do and you listen to them instead of me?"

Koga's head hung low but I didn't feel any pity in the slightest. "Sorry, Boss."

Inuyasha still had my hand in a death grip but he put his free one on Koga's shoulder. It was the kindest act I'd ever seen him do. "If anyone bothers you, you call me. Got it?"

I didn't get to see how Koga reacted, Inuyasha pulling us out into the night. He stopped, only to wrap his coat around me before shoving me into his car. The ride was silent until I could take it no longer. Anger was surging in me. Sure, he saved me but who asked him anyway?!

"I don't get you at all. You put me in a strip club to work but then get pissed because people want me to take off my clothes?"

"You're a server."

"IN A STRIP CLUB! What did you think was going to happen?!"

"I thought you'd do your fucking job!"

A dark laugh escaped my lips and Inuyasha turned to glare at me. "My fucking job? Interesting words coming from you. Considering you bought me to fuck you."

"I told you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to …"

I wanted him to stop apologizing because it made the loss of my virginity a regret to him. I didn't regret it, I had enjoyed it until he opened his fat mouth! "It doesn't change a thing! Your apology doesn't change that night and it doesn't make my hymen magically grow back! And it doesn't change your complete lack of care for my feelings on the subject either!"

"Lack of care?!"

"I know I should be thankful...that things could be a lot worse…" I really tried not to, because I didn't want to give him my tears, but I couldn't stop them either. "But it's hard to feel anything but resentment when I went from being surrounded by angels all day to working for the devil."

I cut my sobs off after five escaped and Inuyasha listened to each one. It made me wonder if he got off on them until he spoke again. "The devil huh? That's how you see me?"

Nothing more was said even as we split off to our rooms. The devil going silently into his and I could honestly say for the first time that I hated someone. Cause I hated Inuyasha.

oOo

I half expected Inuyasha to show up at the club again the next day. But with him nowhere in sight two hours in, I considered him a no show and went about business as usual.

Sango was happy to see me, jumping up as soon as I entered the dressing room while everyone else seemed surprised to see me as well. "Oh man, last night was intense. You're okay, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Inuyasha is just...weird…"

"Weird? I thought it was hot as hell. I wish I had a boyfriend that protective. I was wondering why you were just a server all this time but now I get it…"

"Wait," I stopped her ramble with a gentle hand in her face, "that guy is not my boyfriend."

"Huh? Then who the hell is he? The way he dragged you out of here I thought for sure he made you quit…."

"What the hell do you mean, who is he? He's the boss!"

Sango's face and those eavesdropping around us twisted in confusion. "No, Koga's the boss."

I looked around, finding faces that agreed. "Wait...so when you said you auditioned for the boss…"

"Yeah, Koga. He made us all strip for him in his tiny little office. I was scared he'd do more but that was it."

I felt faint, my head getting light and my breaths feeling shallow. "But I thought… Inuyasha…."

"Kagome? Are you alright?"

Sango was holding me up off the floor and I gripped her shoulders tight. "Yeah, I just… need some air…"

If she didn't have her first set in five minutes, I was sure Sango would have gone with me. As it was, I wasn't sure I wanted the company anyway, following her finger to the back door of the dressing room.

It was freezing out, middle of January, and snow falling lightly from the black sky above. The cold helped my brain though, forcing the sticky feeling inside it to freeze so it would function.

So when Inuyasha said he was sorry...what had he said? He didn't mean to, that he lost control. Did he never intend to sleep with me? He was Koga's boss but not the boss of the other women? How did that make sense? It was if he had some kind of loyalty and he was actually showing it to me but I didn't understand or know how to take it.

Damn, now I hated him a little less.

"Hey."

So lost in thought, I missed the guy standing nearby, smoking. He took a step closer and I took a step back. It pushed me into the dark and him into the light. The bright red bulb at the end of his cigarette as he took a long drag and then tossed it. His features were sharp and dangerous looking, even with his long, wavy locks that softened his appearance. It was his eyes really, they were dull and lifeless and set on her.

"You're...Kagome right?" I really didn't like that he knew my name. "I'm a bit of a fan of yours. I'm Naraku."

He stuck out a hand but I refused to remove mine from their wrapped position around my chest. Naraku chuckled as he dropped the offer, digging in his pocket for something so I took another step back. A new cigarette and lighter in his hands, I still didn't relax, trying to slide towards the door. If he noticed, he said and did nothing as I grabbed a hold of the handle and pulled with all my might. But the door didn't budge.

"It's locked from the outside. Usually, the girls leave something to block the door but I guess they didn't tell you about that, did they?" he was grinning while my skin was trying to find a new home far from him. "Why don't you dance? You have a killer body and are so damn sexy. Does Inuyasha have a reason for not letting you? I must admit, it has me curious about your relationship to him."

"We don't have a relationship past employee and employer."

He shook his head, clucking his tongue at me. "Koga is your boss. Or...isn't he?" I fidgeted, looking for a way out. "Oh...I see… you belong to Inuyasha, don't you? Just what is your title then?"

My only choice was to walk around the building to the front, which I was about to do when the door popped open and Sango's head appeared. "Kagome? There you are! Sorry, I forgot to warn you about the lock…"

I was breezing past her, not worrying about the slip-up and Sango was glaring at Naraku. "If you ever want a change of pace, Kagome, let me know."

The door slammed heavily behind us and I couldn't be happier. Sango was still looking behind us as if Naraku had a key he forgot to mention. "You should stay away from that guy, Kagome. I'm not sure why he's even allowed near the building."

"Why do you say that?"

She looked back at me, her face pale. "Well...he snaked away a few of the girls that worked here a few years ago to work at his house or something. He promised them more pay and no stripping. But the last I heard he was sleeping with all of them and only some of them were willing."

I didn't bother hiding my disgust, nearly vomiting on the dark tile below us. Sango looked sick too. We were making our way back towards the front, Sango required to 'meet and greet' after her show and get tips. I was supposed to get tips too but I think they all went to Inuyasha or something. They could all go to the home for all I cared, I was loyal to the cause.

Naomi ran up to us as soon as we made it out of the hall and into the main floor. "Kagome, someone is here for you."

If it was Naraku again, I was just going to slug him and call over Koga. But it wasn't him. It was Mother Kaede.

And Naraku shows up, so you know there's going to be issues. Drama. Angsty drama. Weeeeeee...

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing Lessons

Barry Berkman x reader

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating, drinking.

Hi! I know, I took so long to finish this, it's been a crazy couple of months but I must say that this story finally has the ending I wanted, I already had a sugarcoated ending and I didn't post it because I just didn't like it that way, but then I watch Barry again and it all click in my mind and I managed to write this last 2 chapters and the epilogue and I hope you like them.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● 

Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 7

He leaned in ready to kiss you, and for a millisecond you were sure it was going to happen, so you close your eyes and take a small breath ready to feel his lips... but then a floral and feminine fragance lingered under the alcohol and the thought of blonde hair and a bright smile flash before your eyes, and made you speak.

"But I care" You said, and he immediately stop and let you go, he look at you with sad eyes, and was about to start apologizing about how he didn't mean to offend you but you spoke first.

"I like you Barry, I am attracted to you so much that is shameful, especially since tonight for the first time in almost 5 years I felt like a school girl willing to fall down the rabbit hole that is being attracted to someone, and I'm beyond happy knowing you like me as well" it took all the strength in your body to say those words and keep looking into his eyes without crying but you managed, and decided to say it all before the fear betrayed you. "But the truth is that even if I don't feel like that for my husband anymore, I'm still with him, and you're still with Sally, and this adolescent crush, or whatever this is, will be a drunken mistake in the morning, and I care too much about you to let you ruin your relationship, because I'm sure you do love her" you took a deep breath then and try to keep talking but now was impossible, the shameful revelation that you were actually no longer in love with Alan was out and it hurt more than you expected.

"I'm sorry" He started, and pulled you closer to him again, but there was no longer the electricity that had been there minutes before, he simply hold you while you let your bitter tears roll and caress your hair. "You are right, I been trying to lied to me all this time, but you are right, I wanted you, and it's wrong, and if someone has to be ashamed of his behavior is me, I spend the night with you knowing that you are married and I didn't care, and it was for the selfish purpose of being with you."

You pull apart one last time, and your whole body ached, knowing too well that this was the end of something that hasn't even started, but your conciousness was now in charge and this was the right thing to do.

Because in the end you were sure you have fallen for the same reason he had, he wanted Sally to be more like you, willing to leave everything for him, and you wanted Alan to be mor like him, changing his entire self to fit your dreams, under no circumstances was that healthy, nor real, and you both knew that neither was happy.

You said your goodbyes, and the empty promise to pretend to keep being friends, but the quick excuses you made to avoid him the next days and let him alone practicing with Macy, let clear that it was not going to work.

Because even when it was just a fantasy, just a dream, just the idea of something better, it still hurt. It hurt when you accidentally saw him on the street on a date with his beautiful girlfriend, and you could see the light in his eyes when he saw you, and the subsequent sadness because you were now sure that he wanted you too, it hurt even when you were walking on Alan's arm, because seeing him kiss her make your husband efforts to gain your forgiveness seem empty, specially since the tears he saw in your eyes that day were not his doing, but Barry's.

It hurt because, it was not just an idea, not just the idealization of the sweet midwestern boy with perfect blue eyes, it hurt because you love him.

***

Loosing her was hard, pretending to be okay without her gentle touch, and her playful teasing during rehearsals was harder, but seeing her with her husband on the street was heartbreaking, Barry knew he didn't deserve her, but neither did Alan.

In the second he saw him next to Sally he tried to hide, and pull away from Y/N, maybe to prevent Sally to figure out he was cheating on his friend. That's why he kissed her, to avoid confrontation, and a couple minutes later while she was in the bathroom, and Y/N was paying in a store Alan approach him, with his false smile bright.

"Hey Barry was it?" He said, and offered him a hand, that Barry took repressing the urge to punch his teeth out.

"Hey" Asshole "So you broke up with Monique?" Or is that your sister?" He said trying to sound naive, but his eyes were clearly looking at his wedding band.

"No, that's Y/N, she's my wife" He said, with no shame, and Barry was surprised, but maybe a little pride. "You know how it is, huh?" He playfully punch him on the shoulder.

"Sure, she is quite beautiful" He said feeling the words burning in his tongue "Do you think she wants to meet Sally?" He add completely serious and Alan gave him a perplex look. "I'm kidding, but you should leave, she is in the bathroom"

"My man" he said and put his arm around him like they were friends "you almost got me, yeah she is quite something, but too chatty sometimes" Barry was about to break his arm, pleading the skies for Sally or Y/N to see them so it all could end, but he let go first "Thanks, I'll go before they meet, thanks Berkman, you are a real Bro"

"Sure, bro" he answered monotony, and saw him walk away, shaking, missing like never before having a gun in his pocket.

"So I was thinking" Sally said on their way home, he had been pretending to listen about all her fabulous new friends and definitely not thinking in a way to eliminate a certain lawyer.

"Um huh?"

"About what you said a week ago" She said and let go a deep sigh "And I think that maybe cheating won't be an issue if you are both okay okay about it"

Thankfully she was wearing a seatbelt, because he braked abruptly and almost caused and accident.

"What?" He said and she look at him concerned but also embarrassed by the way she had formulated her statement.

"No like that, I mean, maybe if people were completely honest with their partners and their boundaries they would not need to cheat" She said and he was able to keep driving normally until they get to her house.

"So people should tell each other I want to sleep with someone else, be okay with that?" He was trying to not be mean or sarcastic, but it was almost impossible.

They put the groceries in the kitchen and he sit on her couch, and she sit in front of him.

"No, I mean more like maybe people should not commit so much in a relationship if they are not ready for it" She said, and he finally understand where she was going.

"So you want to be with someone else and I'm on the way?" He said more bluntly than he wanted, maybe his time with Y/N have had a negative impact on him.

"Oh my God no!" She said quickly "But maybe you do?" She add.

"I will never cheat on you Sally" LIAAAAR "I'm really confused right now"

"I know you wouldn't" She started and put her hand on his knees tenderly "Is just that with Sam I run into commitment so soon, and I'm afraid that I'm doing the same right now, and what if I'm in the middle of your own journey as an actor, or you in mine? Is not like I'm interested on other men, is just that I think I should be more interested in me as a person, as an artist" She said, she sound sincere but something about her words made him feel like she had rehearsed her speech at least a couple times before. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe, just maybe we should take a break you know? You should focus on your movie, and I should focus on my projects and in a couple months when things are cool down at work we could have more time for each other" She said and she tried to smile.

"Focus on your projects? So you wouldn't be dating anyone?" He said holding his hands in fists, trying to not start screaming at her.

"I don't think I have time for that" She said in al calmed voice "But I would not be mad at you if you do" She said and that was enough for him.

"Ok" He said and stood up trying to leave.

"Wait Barry, you can stay, is just an idea" she tried to stop him but was cautious enough to not touch him, and he felt a pain on his chest knowing why, he would never act like her stupid ex husband, so he calmed immediately and turned around.

"It's okay, I may not want this, but if you do, it's okay, I will see you in a couple months then" He avoid kiss her goodbye and simply walk out of her house.

He got on his car and start driving nowhere in particular, after almost half an hour he was willing to think about what had just happened, he lost Sally, and put Y/N firmly in the arms of her stupid husband. He was now truly alone, and maybe that's why when the black truck that had been following him pass next to him and a bald man covered in tattoos make him a sing to drive behind him he didn't think of escaping, if this was the moment the Chechens were waiting it was perfect, he had nothing left to lose.

[you-will-remain]

So I don't really have the patience for writing in an actual journal and I've had pretty bad luck on journaling in a book. But my doctor said it'll help and I'm really trying to get back to a sense of normalcy and work through things and focus. So we'll try it this way.

Let's start with introductions (not like anyone will actually read this but hey, it's easier to write like this). I'm 29, working towards a management position, I'm a big nerd, and I like to write. I went to college to study music education in the how's of becoming a high school band director but I found out a little too late that using your main hobby as a profession can give you some pretty bad burnout. I dropped out with 17 credit hours left of a BA, though I would've also had to do a recital that I couldn't motivate myself to plan. I haven't touched my trumpet in about 6 years, though I do miss playing. I was diagnosed with ADHD very late in the game (5 months ago) and that's been a struggle to work through, but baby steps.

I've been working on a homebrew for about 3 years now for D&D when I have the focus enough to sit down and write and hopefully it should be ready to play pretty soon which is very exciting. I tried it out late 2021 and realized that I needed some real work on my world building, hah. But it's looking really good.

That's a "brief" about me (jeez I feel like I'm filling out a dating profile). I'm not sure what I'll be posting here. Probably a little bit about life, then and now, maybe some D&D talk, maybe just how I'm feeling. But I'm going to try to make these posts pretty regularly. That's it for now.

[havingaverydrarryday]

I posted 5,210 times in 2022

That's 226 more posts than 2021!

43 posts created (1%)

5,167 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lostdrarryfics

@drarryspecificrecsdaily

@havingaverydrarryday

@lilbeanz

@phoebe-delia

I tagged 185 of my posts in 2022

#harry potter - 37 posts

#drarry - 30 posts

#i will reblog this every time i see it - 24 posts

#draco malfoy - 23 posts

#hp shitpost - 21 posts

#spicy - 19 posts

#mmm baby baby - 14 posts

#not drarry - 14 posts

#i reblog this every time i see it - 7 posts

#❤ - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#reading this at work because i can't wait 11 hours until i get home

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I met this dude at a local convention. He really plays the part. He even sounds like Dan Radcliffe (with a tiny bit of a French accent)

I got a picture with him, that I won’t be sharing, and sadly the print I bought from him at his booth was crushed by my water bottle.

If you don’t know him he's

felixir_official on Instagram

Felixir_ on tiktok

And Felixir_Cosplay on Twitter. I only follow him on IG.

144 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#4

Wonderful  

Harry stormed through the halls of the Ministry, people parting like water as he passed. 

"Harry," Kingsley greeted kindly, only to start as Harry crowded into his personal space. 

"Where. Is. My. Husband."

NINE MONTHS EARLIER 

Harry woke to a quiet Grimmauld Place. It had been a really long fucking day. Two days? 

First Bill and Fleur's wedding had been crashed. They were attacked and on the run and he, Ron and Hermione had fled to the ancestral home of the House of Black, and learned who R.A.B. was. Then fucking Dung confessed that Unbridge had the real locket.

The three had come to the conclusion that they had no choice but to get the locket back. 

Now he crept down stairs late that evening with one thought on his mind.

"Harry?" Hermione called softly and Harry hung his head. 

"I have to," he told her, not turning to face her. "I can't do what needs to be done knowing that he is where he is waiting, and worrying because I can't get word to him."

"I know," she replied gently, "But you must be back before Ron wakes up, unless you want to have to answer questions you're not ready to answer yet."

The clock chimed nine. 

"I'll be back by six," he promised. 

"Be safe," she urged.

"There's nowhere safer for me, not even here." 

He tossed his invisibility cloak over himself and stepped through the Floo and disappeared. 

He stepped out of the Floo and vanished through a side door before anyone in the pub noticed the disembodied feet moving through the crowd.

He had learned some time ago that trying to hide his feet in that particular pub caused him to trip and that it was best to just get out as fast as he could.

He had walked this path many times over the last year. He had found it the previous summer when trying to hide from Dudley and immediately claimed it for himself. 

He had to admit that being rich had its advantages. He had been able to owl Gringotts and not only buy the dilapidated house, but he had been able to hire someone to do magic for him to put in the wards and the reconstruction had been done behind repelling charms. 

To anyone passing it still looked abandoned, but once someone walked through the wards it was beautiful and welcoming.

He hoped after the war it could be their home.

He slipped around the damaged looking gate and felt the strong wards let him through.

Only one other could pass through the way he had, and Harry hoped they were there, waiting for him.

He pushed the front door closed behind him and hung his cloak on a hook. The lounge was dim but he could hear a wireless playing and climbed the stairs.

“You’re here,” a voice breathed and he turned to see someone standing in the open door to the bedroom.

“Hello love,” Harry said. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”

Draco took his hand and led him to the bed so they could sit.

“I heard about what happened at the wedding,” Draco told him, cradling his hand between his. “Are you okay? Was anyone hurt?”

See the full post

186 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#3

Neville: I heard Harry and Malfoy are dating now.

Ron: Barmy isn't it?

Luna: Not really. He is Harry's type after all.

Hermione: That's true.

Ron: Type? Harry doesn't have a type.

Hermione and Luna in unison: Quidditch players.

231 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

#2

405 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This is so drarry.

1,159 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Recap Pt.2

Day 6...... I woke up and got ready for work. While waiting for the bus, some guy was sitting inthe middle of the street having cars pass him and finally a non-scumbag driver decided to stop and ask the guy what's his deal. Pretty much he was tripping off of acid and wanted to kill himself. Next thing, like double digit number of cops surrounding and walked him to the corner away from cars. Could of been a Watching Wanda but I got on the bus. Pretty much worked for 12 hours and was amazed that my body limitations didn't reach to the short maximum. It was my first full week of work and it was cool. But full offside problems which I wont get into so much cause the day is over. My Sunday will be full fixing the issue but it's all good because I hate doing nothing anyway.

Day 7........Woke up from a power sleep that was needed from a long work day. Started off the day helping out an ex only to find out she was dealing with something that I saw as a lack of respect of herself which led me to a disappointment on her for her actions considering the fact that she wanted me back but I decline the offer. After that situation, I put myself in thinking mode contemplating on love because at this point, I starting to lose a lot of interest in it. Maybe it's me or I just pick the wrong woman to love and be with. Moving on, I washed my clothes and took care of an issue dealing with my bank account which will be fully fixed by Tuesday. After, I spent the day just focusing on love and where it stands because I'm leading towards calling it quits. While in thinking mode, I got a message on Instagram of a business opportunity of investing which I'm gonna to decline due to lack of knowledge on investing and doing business over the phone and social media is too uncomfortable. In meantime, I'm gonna look over what was discuss in that chat. Tomorrow I start my new workout and finally look more into this book I recently purchase titled......The Filter Bubble.

Day 8.......Woke up and decline the business offer which was calm then instead of hitting the gym, I went back to sleep.Woke up back and forth with moments. Woke up ate lunch from the shelter and talk to a friend and updated my health. Surprisely, I didn't use the cane all day. Went back to sleep but this time it was power nap and ate dinner and seen mold on a bread like wtf Being in the shelter has given me realization of reality to the point that I fully understand why people sleep on the streets and dont want to go to the shelter. After I leave the shelter, there will definitely change of things. I'm ending this day reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Filter Bubble. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 9......Woke up with a headache from a dream. In my dream was me in hospital pretty much dying seeing people that that currently had in my life. I was dying of cancer apparently. With that scene came with moments of my past. Then I woke up and started crying thinking to myself what the f**k. I wipe the tears from my eyes and took a shower and got ready. Pretty much left me paranoid everytime someone sat next to me smoking a cigarette. Went to library and used the computer to contact my neurologist to fill this form from in regards to my restrictions of my body. Looking over the form later that day, I realize this form will come from honesty and being realistic with myself since I have to finally accept the fact that my body has limitations. This led to me thinking about 2013 til now and......I been through a lot of shit and pretty much everything is gone. So what now. First this horrible dream and this realization that I did everything to make things right. I might as well let it all out. I'm sharing my life from then to now and not holding anything back. I may lose respect and friends but I feel it's time to let it out and finally leave the past the past and accept the outcome......There's no point of hiding my thoughts anymore. Everything is basically gone.

Day 10........Woke up. Night before was kinda unfortunate watching a guy taken by the ambulance. My only assumption would be a drug related incident. I skipped gym today to work on this restriction form. First was first, a mail pick up. Had to fill out forms and make calls. My restrictions form was pretty much done. It was answered with honesty and from a realistic mindset. It goes back to what ex told me like a week ago....... My body has more limitations than anyone else and that I need to know when to slow down. It was unfortunately the true. I just needed to accept it and I did.

As I expressed on the last post, I will share my life from then to now. I would share from birth to now but 2011 started this Fall to Rise to Fall so here we go........

Summer 2011 was an end of something that I took very hard. My 2 year relationship with my first love finally end. I'll admit this publicly, as much as both sides had fault to it, I fucked that up mostly. I was insecure, lazy, had no ambition, anger problems and just verbally abusive. I provoked her at times. She try to make it up to me all the but I didnt give her the time of the day. I would apologize all the time and promise not to bullshit her then went back on my bullshit. The affections faded away and the assurance of being the protector wasn't wanted any longer. She finally had the courage to be strong and leave. I'm sure it wasn't easy. As I look back at it, she did the right thing. I'm sure she's happy now and at this point that's all I want for her. Anyway, the summer was kind of depressing and after the bullshit of being in the pystactric emergency room, to the shelter, back to the pystactric emergency room, then to a friends home, to The Bronx, I decided to finally go back home stay. Instead of not eating and doing nothing, I started working out and doing backyard wrestling a lot more than I should. Most of the year I was in the BWA (beach) but after the breakup, I went back to the stomping grounds DIW (and IKW) which was a place comfort to be honest. No disrespect but I couldn't trust most of guys at BWA (beach) since the break up. Well only the white boys I trusted lol. Felt like I was being hurt physically by some intentionally. I remember getting a call from my boy that left New York and apparently alot was being said about me but no one never confronted me about it which was some bitch shit to me cause there's three sides to a story and no one nevered talked to me about what was being said about me that year. So being at BWA (beach), it was uncomfortable cause now I know that something was said about me to some and those who read this know who you are. I didnt even trust my tag partner especially that one day when he just randomly basically admit that he had a thing for my ex. Like when he said that, the thought in my head was that if I had a gun, I would shoot him with hopes that he would die like. Is this nigga serious? Like she just left me and you got the nerve to say that shit. Fucking fat piece of shit get no pussy motherfucka.....Felt to be on some murder shit when he said that lol. Still wrestled in BWA (beach) but felt more comfortable in DIW. I knew my guys over there had my back no matter what and it was a family thing and they knew me more. As months went by, backyard wrestling became like a career/lifestyle. I would wrestle in BWA (bronx) during the week, DIW and IKW on Saturdays, then BWA (beach) on Sundays. The only thing that kept me going to BWA (beach) was my storyline with the Axis Of Choas. That match with Pitch Black was top favorite match. It brought me back to the real backyard wrestling days (IBW) During that year, I got involve in social media a lot trying to find love. Still insecure and in denial, I got into long distance relationships but one became something special to me and it started on New Years Eves.

Love is Love

Jikai.......One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2012 The Love Gamble But 2......

Mad King Recharging Arc