#I'll admit I've never tried making any before so perhaps that's what might get me interested in it?
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Your favourite GL ships?
Anything not involving one of the Bats.
I'm not even really kidding about that, I straight up despise BatLantern and any variations like JayKyle. Most of the stuff I see on Tumblr or AO3 makes zero effort to actually characterize the Green Lanterns beyond "glow-in-the-dark idiot who antagonizes the bat because they're horny for him."
Any other ship involving GLs, I'm just neutral toward. This may disappoint some people but I don't do much shipping of any kind. I'm not repulsed by sex/romance, it's just that I don't have any interest in the love lives of fictional characters. If I reblog posts that involve ships, it's usually just bc I like the art.
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nias-nook · 6 months ago
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Bill Cipher and The Unicorn in Captivity
Soooo, I haven't been looking at Bill related posts much since the book dropped as I have mixed feelings on what TBOB and the subsequent site have revealed about him, his motives, his backstory etc., but (and maybe someone beat me to this) one thing I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is this,
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So maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but this is The Unicorn Rests in a Garden, also known as The Unicorn in Captivity. This piece was a part of The Unicorn Tapestries. Its origins are shrouded in mystery and super interesting but I'm not really gonna touch on that here.
Now there is something to be said about how this one piece, and the rest of the tapestries tie to Bill. I'll briefly go over what the tapestry meant when it was made then dive into what contemporary interpretations of the piece say about Bill and his fundamental inability to redeem himself.
Also just want to establish before we get into this that I am...Not a scholar when it comes to this stuff. I just happened to recognise this tapestry and its symbolism when it dropped on the website and had to put my thoughts somewhere. I might add more later if I've forgotten anything, which I probably have.
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Given this was a piece made in Europe in the Middle Ages, it's perhaps unsurprising that a lot of interpretations of it are biblical, but we can (mostly) safely assume Hirsch isn't going for a Christ allegory here. Then again, maybe he's going for nothing and all of this is pointless.
What is a little interesting in the wake of TBOB is its ties to marriage.
These tapestries are heavily theorised to have been made to celebrate a wedding, and their comparisons of love and marriage to a hunt that inevitably leads to the imprisonment and taming of your lover. Of course, Bill quite literally suggests this method in the book with The Love Cage that he uses in Weirdmageddon, but there's a million 'Billford is canon' posts (though I think that's reductive at BEST) out there so let's table that as it's pretty self-explanatory. Bill and Ford have been hunting each other for decades and Bill imprisons him in a so-called 'Love Cage' to try and convince Ford to be his 'partner' (be it platonic or romantic). This is what a victory in a relationship is to him.
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What I'd like to focus on is the modern interpretation of The Unicorn in Captivity as a self-imposed prison.
"Look at that little unicorn! The beatific smile. He's happy now. He gets to live in a beautiful garden."
"Yeah, in a cage."
"A protective barrier. No one's hunting him anymore. Nor can he hurt anyone with that horn of his."
This summary of the piece is taken from the aptly titled Unicorn in Captivity from another animated series, The Venture Bros. (which, by the way, if you're looking for another show that's a whimsical and fun riff on 80s pop culture with a big mystery element, highly recommend), but this of course isn't the first piece of media to portray it this way. the most notable being The Unicorn in Captivity poem by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
The unicorn is, on the surface, a prisoner. The Theraprism that Bill is now trapped in is a place he longs to escape, but that's the thing, isn't it?
He could escape any time he wanted to.
Bill, like the unicorn, is trapping himself more than the Theraprism is trapping him, but his situation isn't to be pitied, it's karmic justice. What's so satisfying about Bill's eventual comeuppance is that he's the one making himself suffer. The only thing Bill needs to do to escape is to admit he was wrong, to stop revelling in the suffering of others, but...Well, he chooses not to.
He could slip his head
From the jewelled noose
So lightly tied -
If he tried,
As a maid could loose
The belt from her side;
He could slip the bond
So lightly tied -
If he tried.
For all of his guilt about his parents and his so-called 'dark and troubled past', Bill has never regretted a single person he's hurt since. He didn't regret taking over the world, he regretted being caught. He didn't regret hurting Ford, he regretted losing him. Bill will probably be doomed to wallow in the Theraprism for all eternity, cursing his situation and blaming everyone else for his inevitable downfall. An overgrown child who once had too much power and lost it all throwing a tantrum for the ages.
But now he can't hurt anyone with that horn of his.
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mcflymemes · 2 years ago
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PROMPTS FROM ELLA ENCHANTED *  assorted dialogue from the 2004 film, adjust as necessary
i gotta work on that.
quiet, please. i can't concentrate here.
isn't it wonderful?
i have a no return policy.
why don't you go back to where you came from?
what a stupid name.
nobody wants you here.
i always knew something was wrong with me.
can't you take the spell back?
you must never tell anyone else.
i don't want anyone using it against you.
what's inside you is stronger than any spell.
take this. then i'll always be with you.
your father would like to speak to you.
it was either get married or sell the house.
is this the right address?
the house looks delightful.
my clothes need more room than this.
please don't touch it. it was my mother's.
admit you're stupid and don't know what you're talking about.
hold your tongue.
your coronation is next week.
i've kept my promise, haven't i?
i don't need your chivalry, thanks.
you're the first maiden i've met who hasn't swooned at the sight of me.
i want peace in the kingdom as much as anyone.
so you have a new plan once you take the crown?
that's what i thought. you're all just the same.
perhaps that's why i find your obvious disdain for me so refreshing.
i'll try and be more considerate next time i'm saving you.
next time? what makes you think we'll see each other again?
stop flirting with him.
i need you to do me a little favor.
a felon in my own family. i could die from embarrassment.
you are forbidden ever to see her again.
thank goodness you're all right.
i should have told you about this years ago.
i think it's only fair to warn you that i'm practiced in the ancient art of... origami.
don't let him scare you, sweetheart! kick his butt!
i am going to need so much therapy after this.
that's very sweet, but i'm on a tight schedule.
i'm on a tight schedule. were i not... i would love to have dinner with you.
great. i knew it. a talking book.
i think i may have found you another chance at your future husband.
elves aren't that short, you know.
the rustling always comes before the screaming and the running.
it never hurts to be on your guard.
i led a rally on your behalf the other day. maybe you heard about it.
we just did this. didn't we just do this?
who's to say it wouldn't have worked if you hadn't come barging in?
you're bleeding.
you'd better let me help you with that.
it makes it so much easier rescuing you if i don't have to commute.
your girlfriend doesn't mind being left alone?
that's not really my area of expertise.
you have the power to make a difference in the world and you don't even care.
they're not so bad. i thought they'd be all so big and scary.
i thought that maybe this would be a good time to possibly have a heart to heart.
do you know where the bathroom is?
i had no idea things were so bad.
you have to stay for the night.
i wish you would stay.
i hope you don't mind me saying this, but you're much prettier than i would have expected.
your father would have been proud.
i think he would have really liked you.
kiss me.
that wasn't an order, you know.
i trust your journey was pleasant?
might i trouble you for a moment?
you will tell no one of this plan.
i will do anything you ask.
please tell me you never wanna see me again.
we're together now. and when we're together, it's like magic.
will you marry me?
you tried to kill me.
i can't believe i'm saving you after you tried to kill me.
i should have disposed of you when i had the chance.
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the-weeping-dawn · 1 month ago
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OC Interview Tag
(answer the questions for your OC as if your character were answering them!)
(Thanks @hootshooch for tagging me!)
Are you named after anyone?
'If we're counting reusing a name because the brother whom originally been named Ilztaun was killed by the last matron mother of my house during the mess that led to her also being killed, along with a fair few others, yes. Though I assume it was just to avoid having to think of another so not really.
When was the last time you cried?
'That's hardly something anyone needs to know I'd think.'
Do you have kids?
"Not currently, no.'
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
'No, of course not. Why would I ever? '
What's the first thing you notice about people?
'It's remarkable how much one can pick up about someone in a quick glance, though I suppose, barring anything that draws one eye about a person in particular, the first thing I'll actively pay some attention to is what they're wearing, and then into what can be gleamed from that.'
Scary stories or happy endings?
'I've always had an unfortunate weakness towards happy endings, probably just for how rare they are out of stories and song.'
Any special talents?
'I can play a song I've not heard in a century with remarkable accuracy. Also, even before the whole parasite issue I was given a bonethriven by...well that bit doesn't quite matter, but even if it did take making some alterations, I was not terrible. Hopefully I can get it back some time soon, I might manage a small bit better after the whole thing with my tongue splitting a few ways. I suppose those are uncommon enough to count as special talents. I have a good few boring talents as well. '
Where were you born?
'My mother claims to not remember where, because it wasn't important enough to commit to memory. Though this also implies it was somewhere she would rather not admit to being so my older siblings and I have on occasion tried to think of the worst places it could plausibly have been.'
Do you have any pets?
'Minthara and I got a displacer beast kitten. Which hopefully everyone who agreed to let me bring it into the city doesn't rethink at any point because I miss mine I had to leave in Menzoberranzan, and Minthara raised them as a child, it's one of the few things that helps with how easy it can be to get homesick here... Also does Us count as a pet? I've never been quite sure. Nor the other stray intellect devourers which seem to have just taken to following me home.'
What sort of sports do you play?
'I don't ideally.'
How tall are you?
'1.6m. '
What was your favourite academic subject?
'I was an awful student and as such hated every subject. The period I didn't isn't worth talking about.'
What is your dream job?
'I didn't always intend to use every skill I learned training as a bard the way I have. It's not worth talking about, and I at the very least have been able to, while not quite what I'd hoped, recently been enjoying myself with writing a few songs which happen to have caused a few rumours which I'd perhaps been told wouldn't leave a certain inn room to spread faster than attempts to disprove them could hope to.'
Pressureless tags: @majorasnightmare @mogruith @hey-x-jude
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iwonderwh0 · 2 years ago
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I can't let it go, so here's another scene of pocket ghost that I managed to put together. This one is out of context and doesn't follow any previous scene in specific, at least for now
The chicken sandwich felt too dry for Hank's taste, but after the five hours it took for him to admit his hunger, he didn't mind it as much. Although he couldn't appreciate it at the moment, now that they were miles away from any stores or drive-thus, surrounded by apartment blocks, he couldn't help but felt grateful that Connor had slipped it into his breakfast takeaway order for the day -- two donuts and a cup of coffee -- nearly eight hours ago.
The two of them -- well, technically only Hank -- were in a car, with two eyes and one dashcam fixed on the entrance of one of the grey buildings, waiting for any action that didn't seem to follow. Given the number of apartments in the building, one might expect the front door to open much more often than it actually did. Perhaps not many people lived in there after all; most of those apartments must still have been empty since the evacuation of Detroit, even though the order had been lifted months ago.
"Hank?" Connor said, breaking the silence of the past minutes.
Hank hummed questioning in response.
"There's some small animal ahead, but I can't identify which one it is."
Hank glanced at his dashcam for a moment before looking ahead, and indeed, a white cat walked on a parking lot, then stopped and lay down in the middle of it, enjoying the warmth of spring sun.
"Ah, this. It's a cat," Hank said.
"A cat," Connor echoed, "I've never seen a cat."
Hank's eyes travelled back. The cat lifted one of its back paws, tongue darting across white fur in a lazy-paced grooming session.
"Really? I thought you saw one when you hacked into my neighbour's house."
"I'm not sure if it was really a cat, the video quality wasn't exactly sharp," he paused, "Do you like cats?"
"I'm more of a dog person, you know," Hank bit into the sandwich, watching as cat stopped cleaning itself and stared blankly into the space.
"But do you like cats?"
"Everyone does," Hank shrugged, "Hell, If I woke up in a thousand years and someone asked me what's going on in the world, I'd answer that humanity is still worshiping cats - it's one of the things that never change," he said. Then he added, "Of course, that's if there's anyone left in a thousand years."
"Why don't you have a cat yourself? If you like them."
"I wanted an animal that would at the really least like me back. Can't expect the same indulgence from a cat," Hank grunted, "That reminds me - I think Sumo actually likes you more than he likes me."
"I don't think that's true. What makes you think so?"
"You need proof? Fine, explain this: when I call him - he doesn't bat an eye, but when you just look at him, saying nothing at all - he's at your feet in no time, as if you telepathically promised him a piece of steak or something. I don't get it."
Speaker rustled abruptly as Connor made some quiet sound, lost in sudden outbursts of the static. A short laugh?
"Did I finally say something funny?"
"No, not really. I'm sorry, I never thought about how that might look. I don't just look at him. I do something else."
"Which is?"
"I make a sound on a higher frequency. Dogs can hear it, humans – not so much."
"You let him in your house and he talks with your dog on a secret frequency. Fuck..," Hank shook his head in disbelief, "Never expected this from you."
"I'll take that as you're impressed," from the tone of Connor's voice Hank concluded he was pleased with his reaction.
"No shit, I've been scratching my head about this for months, even tried to look Sumo in the eyes with different face expressions. Never once did it work, not a single fucking time. Now I know why."
"You could have just asked."
"Yeah, well. What does it matter now anyway," Hank's eyes darted back to the cat, "In any case, my point is – dogs will love you no matter what, but cats can despise the living shit outta you even if you do everything right. With them, it's more of a gamble, y'know?"
"You don't mind gambling."
"Well, not when my heart is on stake. Wouldn't gamble with this crap - never worth it."
"Hank, are you implying that you wouldn't be able to handle a rejection from a cat? That sounds...a little dramatic, even for you."
Hank huffed a short chuckle.
"That's- Even for me, you say. What, am I some kind of drama queen in your book?"
Speakers rustled for half a second, then exploded with the sound of music "Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah!"
Hank didn't need to look at the screen to know that that's Queen, specifically last minute of Bohemian Rhapsody. He felt blood rushing to his face, but as he opened his mouth to say something, the song already switched, also starting from the middle.
"-You are the dancing queen,
Young and sweet, only seventeen"
"Connor, go fuck yourself."
Fighting a smile and red in face, Hank took another bite of the sandwich, then glanced back at the front door of the building. Nobody walked in or out of it for the last 20 minutes. He didn't mind - at least he got to eat in peace. Well, almost.
Music got slightly quieter.
"How?" Connor asked.
Hank stopped eating and tried to remember what were they even talking about.
"How? Are you asking me about how you can fuck yourself?"
"Yes, I'm really curious how would you imagine me to do that. Given my... current condition."
"I have no idea. Guess you'll have to figure it out on your own."
"On it," Connor said in his earnest voice, and music got louder again.
This finally got an actual laugh out of Hank. He set the sandwich aside and and covered his face, feeling its heat on his palms and trying catch his breath.
"Just don't hurt yourself," he said, feeling warmth filling his lungs, giving up the fight against his face muscles - he wasn't sure why he had been resisting them anyway.
The cat stretched on the ground, greedily absorbing the sun's rays, resembling a sunbeam itself, as the only white spot in the overall grey area. Hank could see it looking around, as if searching for a better spot to enjoy and not entirely sure why -- more an impulse than a thought-through decision -- Hank took a piece of chicken out of his sandwich and stepped out from the car.
He crossed the parking lot and crouched down a few steps away from the cat – close enough to grab its attention, but not so close as to accidentally scare it away. Then he stretched his hand with a piece of chicken in the cat's direction, and sure enough – the cat came closer, curious. He let it sniff the treat, and just as it was ready to take a bite, started back towards the car. The cat followed.
Cat hopped onto the hood of the car as Hank patted it, and finally received a deserved piece of chicken along with a stroke. It purred blissfully in response.
"See better now?" Hank asked, sitting back into the car.
Car speakers rustled slightly.
"Yes."
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missizzy · 8 months ago
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Narrative Interlude: About Her(Baldur's Gate 3, pre-Shadowzel)
(Takes place in the universe of my first playthrough, where, I should note here, Lae'zel currently has the Haste Helm.)
The duel proper, of course, didn't take place. It likely never would have. Sara Tully made that pretty clear by the way she spoke to both of them as they got up, that she never would've allowed it. Lae'zel hadn't wanted to honor Shadowheart with it by then, anyway.
That girl had had some nerve, talking about ceasing hostilities when she'd just tried to kill her. Lae'zel wondered what Sara would've done had she actually done so right in front of her. Would she have turned her out of camp, even killed her? She might have felt like she couldn't afford to; even putting the artifact aside, they needed Shadowheart's healing powers.
She briefly wondered if she might leave one of the two of them behind in camp that day, but it seemed not. Maybe she hoped a few more battles fought together-and there would be fighting, here in the Underdark-would lessen their hostility. They'd shared plenty already the previous day, but Lae'zel admitted to herself it was possible that it would work.
It was true that despite everything, she was developing a bit of an admiration for the half-elf. Part of her was even impressed by her getting the better of her the way she did the previous night. There'd been surprising strength in the way she'd managed to hold her down, and Lae'zel would remember the ferocity in all the words she had spoken for a very long time.
Now they were getting ready to head out, Gale and Shadowheart still fumbling with the armor the former especially wasn't used to wearing, while Sara briefly talked with Wyll and Karlach. Lae'zel was holding her own new red helmet, perhaps a little worried about how she would feel once she put it back on; she was fairly certain it was making her feel more violent, at least when a fight was clearly imminent.
Of course, when she watched Sara now, the feelings that filled her were still of a very different nature. Feelings she knew their leader didn't return. She wished that could make her aggravated at her this morning, for letting Shadowheart off so easily for what she'd very nearly done the previous night. But her heart would not cooperate.
And she knew she wasn't even hiding it all that well, even before the voice behind her inquired, "Ogling our dear leader again? Or trying to devise a way to accidentally topple Shadowheart into one of those chasms today?"
Lae'zel fought back the impulse to whirl around and put her sword to Astarion's throat; she feared that would only amuse him. "You do not get entrusted with my mind, vampire," she hissed, without even looking back at him.
"I wouldn't expect to be," he replied, unfazed, "but some things are obvious enough. Also given how alike the two of you are-"
"Alike?" Now Lae'zel did turn around, and gaped at him. "I am nothing like her!"
But he just shook his head and said, "Not the first time I've heard those exact words from people like the two of you. You'd be amazed how many of them I've encountered in my time. You're both of you zealouts who have made your lives all about serving the side you're on, which you think is oh so different from any of the other sides that are in your way, and really, it's not."
"You really think there's no difference? I admit, I do not have extensive knowledge of this Lady Shar she worships, but from what the rest of you have told me...if you think Vlaakith is anything like that..."
Astarion shrugged. "I suppose I myself know only what I've been told about them both. So maybe I'll turn out to be wrong. But I don't think I am." And he turned and walked back to his tent.
Feeling more fury at him than she even had at Shadowheart the previous night, Lae'zel strode over to where Gale and Shadowheart now had all their armor and gear on. She watched the former flick an alarmed gaze over the two of them, and might have rolled her eyes had she been in less of a temper.
Then she saw Shadowheart roll hers.
That meant nothing, she told herself. It was a perfectly reasonable reaction for anyone in their situation.
But then she found herself locking gazes with the other woman. She didn't like the touch of smugness she had, but beneath that was an anxiety, a lingering anger, and a determination that all felt disturbingly familiar.
As Sara came to join them, Lae'zel turned her head away, and roughly strapped on her helmet. She was now hoping it would make her feel a little more violent, and right away.
It didn't.
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mephicchi · 2 years ago
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((I can personally recommend watching Kruggsmash's Dwarf Fortress videos on YouTube, he makes illustrations of characters, artifacts, and events that happen in his fortresses as he's telling the story which helps with some amount of understanding. He also really gets into the rp side of it all and just has a nice storytelling voice in general. MonsterKiller, and HoneyStoker are my personal favourite fortresses he's done. HoneyStoker especially, but it has a rougher beginning and Krugg swaps between a few fortresses in that storyline. I'll cut myself off here, or I could talk about DF all day. My humble apologies to your followers.
I'll admit I'm a little concerned about how quickly and how thin exactly the veil may be getting, but I'll keep this rolling for now. I have ideas for how this can play out ic if you feel so inclined to indulge me. You'll see in the letter.
I have. SO MANY mini campaign ideas I want to DM. I love planning for sessions. Making borderline unnecessary props. And cooperative worldbuilding and character building is a favourite passtime of mine. Almost like I enjoy rp or something cough cough. Although when it comes to actually DMing a live session I feel like I choke, I can't read my own notes any more, and descriptive words suddenly all fall out of my brain like it's made of swiss cheese. It's probably all in my head as so far I haven't received any complaints from my players. In total I've probably only DM'd 4 or 5 sessions, all 5e (although once I tried to mix in my own dismal attempt at a homebrew mechanic.) Unfortunately the friendships fell apart and went separate ways due to outside and unrelated circumstances. But it's been 3 years or so and I haven't DM'd live since discovering CR and picking up a lot of techniques from Matt Mercer. I'd like to try it again with what I've learned. In the meantime however I've been DMing a murder mystery over text with my one remaining player still with me. Mostly just written rp, not unlike we have been doing here, although in a much shorter format, and involving skill checks and challenges whenever something necessary comes up. I'm much more in my element when writing tbh.
I am toying with the idea to retry the aforementioned homebrewed mechanic I attempted, but move it over to Call of Cthulhu one day, as the plot I had come up with mainly involved horror themed mindfuckery. But I'll need to do a lot more research and I'm currently, if you'll excuse the phrase, balls deep in 5e with my current headworld obsession.
Ahh I'm going on too long though, once again I apologise to your followers, and I'll leave you with that and move on to the actual letter now.))
// Thanks for the recommendation, I'll definitely check out some videos of his, who knows, perhaps I will fall into a DF hole, I wouldn't count on it though.
In my mind the veil might have already been lifted, but I am having way too much fun to stop this, communicating like this both ic and ooc might just have ignited a small spark of mine to seek out some text based RP groups, while it has also been a wonderful opportunity to learn more about both you and your character, which I would never say no to.
Your enthusiasm towards DMing is all too familiar, I too get ideas all the time, I never write them down anywhere though so they always get lost to time, but perhaps that is not the worst thing for I feel like I am incredibly bad at describing things, and even worse at changing my voice for different NPCs, making it hard for my players to discern who is speaking with them in a conversation with multiple NPCs.
As mentioned before, this whole "thing" might make me seek out some text based RP groups, for as I've just now discovered with this, I seem to have an incredibly amount of fun with it, even if I sometimes have to google translate a word, or look for a word that better encapsulates what I want to say, since English unfortunately isn't my first language.
Despite my refusal to DM, since I feel I am awful at it, I've picked up the rulebooks of a good few systems I'd like to try someday, seems I simply have to find someone that will indulge in my torture and run them for me, hah!
Aside from DnD 5e, I have the core rulebooks of Pathinder 1st Edition, Cyberpunk 2020, Vampire: The Masquerade, Werewolf: The Apocalypse and Mage: The Ascension taunting me with their presence in the corner of my eye whenever I am using my PC.
I hope you know how much I truly appreciate this exchange, but alas, I shall too get to writing the letter. //
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extravaguk · 4 years ago
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pairing: jungkook x reader
summary: But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.
Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.
wordcount: 15k
genre: summer!au, ex high school classmaters, kinda frenemies to lovers, tattoo artist!&piercing artist!jungkook, popular!reader
rated: m (fluff - smut - angst)
warnings: you broke jungkook's heart you bitch!! , oral sex (m&f), protected sex (shocking tbh), CL as your bestie it doesnt get better than that! idk i dont wanna spoil too much
author's note: fucking finally dude!! i've been writing this since february but school was kicking my ass. now that i finished my exams and mercury is in gemini i was able to finish it. if you read this, i hope you enjoy it!
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Inkphoria
You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping the flyer too tightly, rumpling the paper in your hand until you're pretty much sure it's ruined. It's the first day of June, and it's already too hot. The sun and humid weather are causing beads of sweat to form in your hairline and your white tank top to stick to your skin. Your jean shorts didn't feel this uncomfortable a few hours ago and you're sure the heat is causing your mascara to transfer to your eyelids and lower lashline. You've never needed a slushie and a smoke this bad in forever, even if you knew the later would make your parents lose their shit.
Inkphoria
You read it again. Your brain is trying to guess what font its written in, an excuse to try to steady your heart beat until your nerves ease a little and you can finally gather the courage to step into the damn shop. You've noticed a few people passing by giving you strange looks because maybe it hasn't been fifteen minutes. Perhaps you've been unmoving like an idiot in the middle of the street for longer than you want to admit.
Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.
'Its not that much of a big deal. It's not even that painful, trust me.'
You wish you could trust your best friend, but your best friend is also the same woman who assured you Cats was the movie of the year. Yes, not 'Cats: The Musical'. 'Cats', the movie.
'And this could be a great start to get out of your comfort zone and start living your life exactly the way you want to, not the way people expect you to. Not the way your family wants you to, not the way Adam wanted you to.'
But although her credibility could sometimes be questionable - like that time she also told you she'd tried marmite and 'honestly, it's not as bad as people make it out to be'-, you also didn't trust anybody in this world as much as you trusted her. She had always been your entire support system, the only one around you who never sugarcoated, who always treated you as an equal, who was always there for you to help you discover yourself and, at the same time, remind you of who you were.
'And it's gonna look so hot, too.'
That's it. Sticking the wrinkled flyer on your back pocket, your feet finally start moving. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing open the door.
The first thing you notice is that, thankfully, the shop is empty. The second thing you notice is the bright sky blue walls, a green undertone peaking through. Your eyes scan nervously the interior. Frames with tattoo designs and people modeling other different designs decorate the walls, some skateboards also hanging from the ceiling. A few plants in the corner, and two leather couches on either side of the room. Your scanning stops on the counter, where a girl with short, platinium hair and -what you guess is- the eighty percent of her body inked. Face included. She's been looking at you, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her tone is amused when she speaks
"Hi." she says. "You can come closer, you know? We don't bite."
Great. As if you couldn't feel more out of place, apparently you also couldn't look more out of place.
"Sorry." you gulp as you walk forward. "It's my first time doing anything like this."
She laughs this time, but it's not mean. It's not mocking, thank God, and the smile she sends you is as warm as the weather, friendly, luckily helping you calm down a bit. "A virgin, huh? JK's gonna love this." your eyes jump in surprise, but she's fast to wave her hands in front of you. "Just a joke. So, first time getting a tattoo. You have something in mind, honey?"
"Um, no. Not a tattoo. Not yet, I think." you wet your lips, regretting not reaplying chapstick before stepping inside. "A piercing."
"Oh! Cool!" she claps her hands, too excited for your own taste, pulling from under the counter a catalogue. "So, where will it be? Cartilogue? Nose? A lot of people are getting their septums pierced right now, though, so you might-"
"Nipples. Like, one of them."
Her gaze finds yours in surprise, although her face swiftly transforms again into an amiable expression. "Now, that's badass. Alright!" she skims through the pages of the catalogue until she finds the nipple piercing collection. You scratch your head before wiping your forehead sweat-free. "You can pick either barbells or hoops, although barbells heal faster and they don't move around as much. There's different kinds of metal, too. Gold or platinium. If your skin is sensitive, I recommend titanium. It's hypoallergenic and not as problematic."
The blonde keeps talking as you nod your head, a smile making its way into your face while silently thanking her for her easygoing personality. It quickly makes you feel comfortable and stupid for being so terrified of doing this.
Once you decide, settle on the cost and sign the papers, she stands up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "Ok, I'll go tell my coworker. He's been sketching tattoos all morning, it's time he gets to work!" she laughs, but suddenly your smile banishes and your throat shuts down.
"He?" your alarmed tone halts her motions and she looks back at your frightened expression.
He? A he is going to pierce your nipple? You're about to let a random stranger, a HE, see and touch one of your boobs and then pierce a needle through one of your nipples?
"Oh, baby, don't worry. I'd do it myself if I knew how to, but I only do tattoos. Most of our staff are on summer vacation so it's mostly just him and I. If you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable, you can wait until september when Minzy comes back and she can do it for you." It's her turn to scratch the back of her head as she adds: "but trust me, we're professionals. He's not a creep or anything like that. He's been doing this for a long time. He won't cross any boundaries."
September? You won't even be here in september. Fuck.
Sure, you could do it when you move back into the city. But this summer was supossed to be the summer. You already decided after your breakup with Adam that there would be no trace of the old you. That it was time to push yourself, to do the things that you've always wanted to do, unapologetically. To find the new you, the real you. To stop being scared.
So after going through you options for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you make up your mind.
"It's fine. I can do it."
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"JK, sweetheart!"
Jungkook is finishing drawing a Chinese dragon when Mijoo opens the door without knocking. Again. He puts the pen down, rubbing his eyes. It's monday, a slow monday, not much work, and he had hoped it would stay that way until closing time. It's summer and Jungkook hates summer. He hates the heat, he hates being drenched in sweat, and he hates the fact that he can do nothing about it. Because working in the summer is terrible. Summer makes him lazy, makes him want to bathe in a tub full of iced water and not get out until he turns into a raisin and october comes. It makes him irritable. Summer makes him annoyed by people -like Mijoo, even if he loves her to death- and himself.
"I got a girl here who wants a nipple piercing, her first piercing by the way, so get your shit ready and bla bla bla. Straight titanium barbell. Also, don't flirt and don't be creepy. She almost ran away when I told her a male was going to be touching and piercing her tit, be mindful of that. She's too cute, if you want to get her number you should wait until it's done. I think that's it. I'll bring her in in a minute."
Mijoo leaves as fast as she talks, but Jungkook is already used to it. He's already used to the headaches her mouth causes too. He sighs before standing up, tying his too-long raven hair into the best bun he can manage. He washes his hands, sets the table up, sits on the chair and puts the gloves on. He's too busy sterilizing the jewerly when Mijoo comes back with you.
"Alright, my babies. I'll leave you to it." she turns to you. "He'll explain everything, from how the process will be to how to take care of it after it's done." she leaves before saying bye, closing the door behind her, and then he finally turns to you.
Your eyes meet and suddenly everything stops. He almost drops the sterilizing machine, his whole body tensing, going into panic mode as he recognizes you immediatly. His hands shake.
Of course he does. Of course he recognizes his high school crush. The too goody two shoes, too pretentious and too rich, too good for everybody and, most importantly, 'too good for Jeon Jungkook' girl of his high school dreams. Of course he recognizes the girl he had confessed his stupid crush to when he was sixteen. Of course he recognizes the girl who rejected and broke his young and foolish heart when he was a dumb teenager.
It doesn't matter that six years have passed ever since. He still knows every lock of your hair like the palm of his hand. He still remembers the shape of your lips and the exact shade of your eyes. He can still identify the body he fantasized about -and jacked off to- when he was a hormonal teen, now filled in all the right places. Now a grown woman.
Just one look at you after years and years of pining is enough to almost make him faint. And grow a boner under his jeans.
And by the look on your face, your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you recognize him as well.
Dammit.
He schools his features and clears his throat. Forces his body to relax and compose himself, because he's not a teenager anymore. He's also a grown man, who has matured, who now has much more experience with women than he did back then. He had already embarrased himself enough when he was sixteen to be doing it all over again. You're just another attractive girl in a sea of attractive women.
He turns to you. You still haven't said anything. Neither has he.
"Um, you can sit on the table." he manages, motioning to the set up in front of him. He watches you taking doubtful steps until you're sitting down, your eyes avoiding his gaze. He almost forgot you were here to get pierced. Holy shit, you were here to get pierced. To get your nipple pierced.
You're a professional, Jungkook. You can do this, Jungkook. You've seen boobs before, Jungkook. You've pierced nipples before, Jungkook.
Clearing his throat again and forcing his hands to stay by his side, he speaks. "The... The top." your gaze finds his, like a puppy about to get scolded. You look at your top, realization dawning on you. "You don't have to take it off. You can just pull it down."
So you do, pulling the straps of the white tank top down and dragging the fabric down with trembling fingers. No bra. Jungkook gulps as your breasts comes into vision. As perfect as he had imagined years ago. His cock twitches. Round, full, perky and so damn inviting he has to hold himself back from latching onto one nipple with his mouth around it and swirling his tongue over the nub until you're a pretty, moaning, little mess on his piercing tabl-
He closes his eyes for just a second before reminding himself to act like the 23 year old Jungkook he's tried so hard to become. The confident, assured Jungkook he is.
"Okay, this is how it'll go. First I'll clean it and scrub it to get rid of any bacteria." he's so glad he hasn't stuttered yet. 23 year old Jungkook doesn't stutter like 17 year old Jungkook. He's also glad he can pick the alcohol bottle and the surgical scrub without trembling. When he faces you again, you're watching his motions with your lip caught between your teeth. That has him swallowing the lump in his throat.
Making eye contact with him again, you take a deep breath and offer a small nod, so he gets to work. He can show you and himself he's a grown man. A grown man who can pierce a nipple without appearing like it's the first time he's seen a boob in his life. The sooner he does it, the sooner it's over.
Jungkook wets the paper towel with alcohol before carefully wiping over your nub with it. Your back arches, probably from the cold feeling, he guesses. He rubs it a few times before throwing it in the trash can nearby. He avoids looking at how enticing the soft peak is salluting him when he reaches for the marker. He doesn't say anything when he dots it with it, jaw clenched and his dick painfully stiff.
"Lay back." his voice low as he commands, turning away to get the clamp. When he slides closer, he tries to ignore the view: you, with your hair sprawled and your sweaty, shiny skin and your eyes focused on the cieling, nipple fully erect, like the star of one of his most erotic dreams. He extends his free gloved hand before he can stop himself, fingers carefully working the nub until he's sure it's painfully hard. Almost as hard as he is.
You gasp, your back arching again. He stills and looks at you, your cheeks flushed pink. Probably from the heat, he guesses again. Or at least that's what he tells himself. He can't stop himself from wondering how responsive would you be in a different setting, most likely his bed while his teeth play with your breast and his cock dives into-
"You okay?" he studies your face, your eyes not meeting his and instead still focusing on the white ceiling.
"Mhm." you reply with a small voice.
"Relax, alright? It'll be over soon." his voice is as gentle as he can, his fingers mindlessly caressing your breast to try to soothe your nerves. Or maybe it's just because he's a selfish bastard. Whatever it is, he forces himself to bring the clamp to your nipple, securing it around it.
"Take a few deep breaths. This will only take a second of pain and then it will go away." He misses the way your mouth falls open, but he doesn't miss the way your eyes squeeze tight as the needle goes in.
"Ah!" he definitely doesn't miss that either. He goes rigid for a second, because that didn't fucking sound like a cry of painfulness. It's breathy, and whiny, not too loud and, for fucks sake, if that's how you sound when you're getting fucked, he swears to God-
He feels your heartbeat under his hands when he puts the barbell in and then the bandage over it. He takes a look at you, chest moving up and down. And then you take a look at him and what he sees is almost enough to take you right there.
Reddened cheeks, drops of sweat framing your face and those eyes glazed with something he's seen too much in the women he's fucked throughout his life. They're half lidded, mascara adorning your long lashes and almost smudged, looking right through him.
"Jungkook..." and your voice, as you say his name -acknowledging him for the first time since you stepped into his shop, for the first time since you were sixteen-, it's hoarse, almost inaudible, like you just came all over his-
He's on his feet in an instant like he's been burned. "It may bleed for the first week, and it can be really sore. The swelling will eventually come down." he's quickly tidying up the table, a bottle in his hand that he hands to you without looking directly. "Wash it gently with this soap and warm water once per day. Don't touch it. Wear a comfortable...bra. If it gets crusty, clean it with saline. Not alcohol or any other thing you might clean a wound with. The soap I just gave you or saline. Nothing else."
He's pacing around the room as he takes his gloves off and throws them in the trash bin, too agressively maybe, then he keeps rambling, like he's hurriedly trying to make you leave as soon as possible. "Avoid pools and the sea. It takes about six months to a year to heal, so don't... don't touch it, don't play with it or..." he clears his throat, "don't let anyone else play with it. And if it gets infected, come back immediately and I'll take a look at it." which he honestly hopes it won't happen. When he faces you, your top is back on and you're getting off the table.
"Alright, um...I'll do that." clearing your throat, your hand gripping the doorknob. "Thank you."
But right before you can exit the room, Jungkook says your name.
"_____." when you turn around to face him, it takes a few seconds for him to make eye contact from across the room. "It was good to see you."
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"Let me see!"
It's the first thing Chaelin says when she opens the door to her appartment. It's on the second floor, small enough to compare it to most expensive appartments you'd stayed in throughout your life, but big enough for Chaelin, her cat and her -impressive- collection of acrylic nail kits and pairs of high heels. It's also big enough for her to offer you the only guest room until summer is over so you didn't have to, one, stay at your parents' place, and two, find an appartment in a short period of time for a short period of time.
When you left years ago, you did so with the thought of 'never looking back'. You never really expected to return here, of all places. Maybe visit your best friend for a weekend at most, have dinner with your parents on a saturday and then go back to the new life you'd made for yourself on a sunday.
But that was before you'd caught Adam cheating.
Tale as old as time: childhood sweethearts get engaged, move in together, son of a bitch sleeps with the assistand he told his girlfriend not to worry about, and then the brokenhearted girl packs her bags and leaves the cheating bastard begging for her to come back.
You'd be lying if you said you were surprised.
Throughout your life, you'd learned to expect many things, regardless of being sheltered and babied by your family since you were born. Watched too much Maury and Dr.Phil. Too much Gossip Girl to know what the deal with life really is.
So, thankfully, you'd only shed a few tears, mostly because your ego and self steem were slightly triggered. You'd realize long before that your feelings for Adam started to disappear once he popped the question and you said yes. Your love story began as teenagers but soon after graduating, the two of you went on different paths: you'd matured, grown into your twenties while he got stuck at 17 and never stopped acting as such.
So yeah, whatever, break ups are hard. But they're not as hard when the love is gone and the sole reason to stay with your partner is to please your parents. You were also right when you expected your mom to tell you to 'forgive and forget' because 'those things just happen, it's not a big deal, honey'.
But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.
Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.
The lanky nerd with braces, glasses and an anime obsession much bigger than his hentai obsession, which is saying a lot. The shy, awkward classmate who'd stuttered his undying crush for you when you were just kids. That one who you had rudely rejected like the bitch you used to be in high school.
But my God, Jeon Jungkook was anything but a kid now.
You were shocked. You were gagged. Couldn't seem to fathom what was happening and what your eyes were seeing. It took you a while to close your mouth when you realized JK was Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.
With messy black hair, a smoldering gaze free of glasses, piercings adorning both ears, and his right eyebrow,, the braces long gone showing perfectly straight - but still bunny like- teeth. The clothes he wore were loose, all black, but it was impossible not to notice the muscles of his back and arms, covered with tattoos from his hands to his forearms. You'd bet there were more of them underneath the fabric.
It was awkward at first. You didn't know what to do, or what to say. Didn't know if he rememberd you. So you chose to stay quiet while your body chose to react like it had never been in the presence of an attractive young man in it's entire life.
And oh, did it react.
He was reluctant, his old timid demeanor peeking through his newly adopted persona. But as soon as those hands came in contact with your skin, your whole body was lit on fire. Like you were 16 and losing your virginity over again and it was the first time a dude touched your boobs.
There shouldn't have been anything erotic about it -besides the fact that your entire breasts were exposed-, it should've been just a professional procedure. But those gloved fingers touched and pinched and suddenly you were too aware of Jeon Jungkook and the way you were starting to sweat profously, not due to the heat of the season.
You tried to distract yourself by looking at the cieling and not at his gorgeous face. Tried to avoid thinking about Jeon Jungkook and how his mouth would feel wrapped around you. Tried not to think about the way your panties were a second skin to your folds, and how tempted you were to grind your hips until you recieved some sort of friction with the jean fabric of your shorts. You wonder if he noticed you squeezing your thighs together. You hope not.
And then the needle happened. You never thought of yourself as a particularly kinky person. Sex with Adam was boring for the most part and you'd lost your libido for a long time. Stopped thinking about sex altogether. But the pain. The pain mixed with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your breast and his voice, as sweet as honey, guiding you through it. It made you reconsider a lot of things you'd once dismissed as 'weird' or 'deviant'
You swear you almost came right on his table.
And then your eyes connected, you made the mistake of calling his name like a satisfied woman who still needed more, and it was all gone. He stood up like a scared cat, gave you a bunch of explanations about the aftercare that you barely grasped without even looking at you and pretty much rushed you to leave.
So you walked, all the way from the tattoo parlor to Chaelin's appartment, mortified, and completely humilliated.
"Are you gonna let me see or not?" your friend says expectantly as you finally sit down after chugging a glass of iced water. You sigh, placing the glass on the table before carefully pulling down your top. "Oh my God, it looks so cool!" she gasps and you can't help a smile while she studies it in amazement. "Did it hurt?"
"Um, I guess." you keep out the part where you almost orgasmed, obviously, stopping her hand from touching when she reaches towards you. "Wait, no. He said something about not touching it for like six months or a year, I don't remember."
At that, Chaelin's eyebrows quirk up. "He? It was a he? Was he cute, at least?"
"You won't believe this..." looking away for a few seconds, you take a deep breath. "It was Jeon Jungkook."
There's a pause, a silence that fills the room when Chaelin's jaw drops. "Jeon Jungkook...pierced your nipple?"
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for what you're a hundred percent sure is coming.
"Ha..." there it is. "Ha ha..." you still know there's more. "Ha ha ha..."
Chaelin laughs hysterically for about God knows how long, while you keep drinking your glass of water unfaced, your mind drifting back to Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie, his tattoos and his stupid gloved hands.
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You know he's here.
Everything was cool, you were doing alright, having a great time with your vodka sprite in hand and your cute white bikini on. Chaelin was by your side, the guys were excited to have you back and thankfully, you'd avoided most questions about Adam and they'd avoided digging too deep into the topic. You'd sunbathed the whole afternoon, kept away from the water like he'd told you and ate the Hawaiian pizza Yoongi insisted on ordering despite Namjoon's and Jimin's complaints.
It's at night, when you're a little tipsy and your cheeks are flushed, that you feel it. You'd barely noticed Taehyung disappearing to let in a new guest.
You don't see him, but you feel him.
You're sitting on the pool tile steps, legs dangling and the water baely reaching your belly to make sure it doesn't touch your very sensitive and newly pierced nipple. Your back is facing the sliding glass doors of Hoseok's house, but the moment you hear his voice, smooth but animated as he converses with Taehyung, your body wakes up immediately, back straightening, goosebumps forming on your arms and nipples tightening against the fabric of your two piece.
You don't turn around, instead opting for downing the remaining of your drink and coming to the realization that, of course, Taehyung, social butterfly who'd always got along with everybody and remained friends with most people from high school, still keeps in touch with Jungkook.
You ignore him when he enters the pool, still peering from the corner of your eyes while pretending to be engaged in Chaelin's and Jihyo's conversation. Your mind sabotages you by taking you to that day a week ago at the tattoo parlor.
To the warmth of his hand, to the few strands of hair that his small ponytail couldn't keep together, to the way his eyes focused on such an intimate part of your body, to the endless ink decorating his skin, to-
Great. Now your bottoms are wet and not due to the water.
You don't miss Chaelin supressing a laugh and her not so subtle elbowing. You glance at her in warning and try to keep calm for the next fifteen minutes until Jin proposes moving to the living room to watch a movie.
"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer, guys." you say, after clearing your throat. You needed some time to gather yourself before being in a confined space with Jungkook.
"Are you sure?" Jin stops by your side to place a hand on your shoulder as everybody starts exiting the pool. "It's Mean Girls! You love Mean Girls! You never miss a minute of Mean Girls!"
Rolling your eyes, you wave him dismissively. "I know every dialogue on Mean Girls like the back of my hand, I think I'll be alright, Jin."
When everybody finally leaves, you take a deep breath, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to get him out of your head. Damn Jeon Jungkook and his irresisitble glow up.
"You okay?"
The unexpected voice startles you, a gasp finding its way out of your mouth and causing you to jump on your seat, heartbeat erratic as you instantly recognize who it belongs to. Your hand grasps your chest as if that would do anything to protect yourself against him.
"Shit, don't do that!" you say, the words almost getting stuck in your throat as you see him approaching you, still submerged in the pool. The more he nears you, the less water depth there is and the more visible his torso comes into view. Wich was exactly what you'd been avoiding.
Because Jeon Jungkook was ripped, as you'd imagined when you first encountered him.
Broad shoulders and strong biceps and chiseled abs and veiny forearms. Drenched hair, a full sleeve of tattoos and water dripping from delicious tan skin and all just so very hard. That paired up with a loopsided smile that does nothing but make you shudder.
"Sorry." he doesn't sound apologetic at all when he says that, the smirk adorning his features telling. "You just seemed a little off." you advert your gaze when he pushes his hair back.
"I'm fine, just...just wanted to be by myself."
"Oh" Jungkook's smile disappears. "I can leave, if you want me t-"
"No!" you're not sure where that comes from and neither does he, judging by the look on his face when your eyes find his. Eyebrows raised and mouth slightly parted, he's as surprised as you and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Um, you don't have to. I mean, it's not my house, you can do whatever you want." you sniff and tame your voice, trying to seem cool and collected like you didn't just practically beg him not to go.
Ironic, considering this was exactly what you had been fearing for the past thirty minutes.
And then he smiles. A knowing smile. A smile that says 'you just totally checked me out and now you don't want me to leave'. A smile that you would have never associated with Jeon Jungkook of all people years ago. A smile that makes you want to look away but still keeps you in place.
"Sure." he says, closing the space between the two of you slowly but still leaving enough distance. "So, how's it going?"
You clear your throat, head high and determined not to let this man, or any man for that matter, turn you into a trembling mess. You're still you and you're not easily shaken by the opposite sex. Or at least that's what you helplessly chant in your head.
"Everything's cool. I'm on summer vacation now," a little white lie, "so I decided to-"
"The piercing." he says, the smile never leaving his face. "I meant how's the piercing."
"The pier- right." you almost miss the step he takes forward, all too aware of his height over yours but thankful for the centimeters that being propped on the stairs added to yours. "It's-" you almost, almost miss his knee touching your knee and him slightly separating your legs with his own inch by inch. Or how your thighs open unvoluntarely to welcome him in and how you can barely find coherent words to speak. "It's doing-" or the way his smile disappears and is instead focusing his dark stare fully onto yours.
"It's doing well." you finally say in a whisper, not being able to bring yourself to be louder.
He hums. "May I see it?" Jungkook wets his lips with the tip of his tongue and the action and his voice is enough to make you nod your head, bewitched.
His movements are unhurried, his hand coming up to tentatively come in contact with the flesh of your clavicle. His fingers skim through your skin upwards, his touch is feather-like when it wraps around your throat. You pant, and he stops but he doesn't move away, his eyes still focused on yours, studying you, daring you to pull back, to tell him to back off. But just a simple touch of his and you're fully under his control. It reminds you too much of the day you got that damn piercing.
Your lips are parted and for a moment he stays just like that. His body so close to yours but not close enough, and his hand slightly gripping your neck. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you can't wrap your head around the fact that something so simple sets your entire being alive and leaves you aching.
Then, as slow as he started, his hand travels from the front of your neck to the back, pushing your hair aside to carefully untie the straps of your bikini. He breathes through his nostrils, doesn't make a sound. He seems so collected it's starting to annoy you.
Instead, your breathing is ragged when the top falls down, exposing both your breasts to him. That's when he removes his eyes from yours and his jaw clenches. Your nipples perk up under his gaze, like they remember him and the effect he had on them just a week ago. You're at least glad you're not the only one affected but he seems to be a master at keeping it under wraps.
Then, his hand moves again, leaving goosebumps on your skin as it goes south. Jungkook takes his time, so deliberate you want to scream, until he's cupping your pierced breast, keeping away from the nipple just like he'd advised you a few days prior. You can't look away from his face, from his eyes observing you like you're a full course meal and he's been starving for days. You feel drops of water falling from his hair to your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin so delicately as it faintly nears your still tender nipple. Just nearing it, never touching it.
"Beautiful." his murmur is almost imperceptible and for a moment you think you've imagined it. Your back arches on its own, breast pushed against the palm of his hand, almost like your body is begging him to come closer, to touch you more, to feel you all over. He meets your eyes briefly, gauging your reaction, before going back to your chest. Suddenly, the grip on your breast tightens, fingers ever so softly squeezing your flesh. From your throat comes a mewl, your eyes shut and your legs close around his waist.
"Jungkook, please..." you whisper when you open your eyes. He looks at you, unvertainty written all over his face, lips bruised as if he had been biting on them too hard, gaze as glassy as yours. And just like that, the spell is broken. He blinks and his expression changes completely. Lips forming a straight line and jaw tight. His hand retracts, fixing your bikini top over your breasts before tying it around your neck like it originally was. Meanwhile your eyebrows crunch in confusion. But when you're about to start asking questions, he clears his throat.
"It's healing okay." he steps back, avoiding your eyes. "I'll see you inside."
Jungkook leaves the pool like nothing happened.
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Jungkook is fiddling, fixing the position of his glasses and combing through his straight hair with shaky hands, habits he's tried so hard to get rid of in his sixteen years of existence but still finds impossible to.
He can't help it. He's always been like this: the quiet and awkward kid in class who sits in the back, a misunderstood puppy in a sea of stronger dog breeds that could eat him alive. An outcast. Too geeky for his own good. Notebokes full of Dragon Ball doodles on the margins of the pages, the shelves in his room stacked with Marvel figurines, and a closet filled with outdated clothes that he has been inheriting from his older brother.
He has never been the type to stand out, always being overlooked by people like he's invisible. He doesn't mind though. He'd much rather be ignored than getting picked on by bullies like he used to in elementary school.
He never gets invited to parties. Ever. He's a nobody who barely speaks, and when he does he either stutters or manages to embarrass himself in one way or another. He's seen the look on people's faces when they look at him. Their eyes seem to scream 'weirdo' everytime he gets acknowledged.
So obviously the only reason he was invited to this particular party had a first and last name: Kim Taehyung. The only kid in Jungkook's entire life who didn't look at him in a funny way, the only kid who took the time to entangle in a random conversation with him after class and who seemed geniune enough to make Jungkook feel comfortable.
He's not sure how it happened, since Taehyung mostly hangs out with the cool kids. But somehow it did, and now Jungkook is uncomfortably standing in a living room full of drunk teens, looking directly at you.
You, the one girl Jungkook had been pining on for God knows how long. You, who are obviously too pretty, too popular, and way out of his league. You, with your plaid skirt and your polo shirt and those legs that never seem to end. You, who are sitting with your friends in a couch, drink in hand and visibly tipsy. And yet, he doesn't think he's ever seen anyone pull of the 'drunk-rosy-cheek' look better than you.
He can hear your laugh through the music and he already thinks it sounds better than whoever is playing in the background.
"Come on, Gukkie! Her friends are leaving and she's all by herself now! It's your chance" Taehyung's obviously drunk too because it took Jungkook a while to decypher his exact words. He'd disappeared for a while and now that he's back, he's pushing Jungkook in your direction.
"This was a mistake, Taehyung." Jungkook shakes his hair and steps back, quickly glancing at the front door to prepare his escape. But his new friend's grip on his hoodie keeps him in place.
"Guk, listen. The only thing you have to do, is walk up to her, and say 'hey I think you're, like, really pretty. Just letting you know. Bye!' That's it. Jung- Dude, Guk, seriously, look at me." Taehyung grabs Jungkook's cheeks, squishing them between his hands and forceing him to face him. "You've been crushing hard on her for years, my man. We're graduating and you won't see each other again. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting rejected?"
Jungkook's eyebrows draw together. "Um, yeah?"
"Exactly! Getting rejected is not the end of the world, bro! It just means keep trying on other girls!" Taehyung releases his hold on Jungkook's cheeks. "I just think you're going to regret not telling your crush she's your crush. Who knows? Maybe in the future you two will get married."
Jungkook snickers, muttering a 'yeah right' under his breath. Still, he can't help the smile that Taehyung's words always seem to pull out of him.
"Now," Taehyung playfully slaps Jungkook before turning him in your direction again. "Go get 'em, tiger!"
"Okay," Mijoo's voice slices through Jungkook's memories. She's sitting on Jungkook's desk, munching on her brownies and looking at her coworker expectantly. "And then what?"
He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sits back on his chair, already feeling the effects of Mijoo's baked goods. "And then I walked up to her, like a damn fool, stutter and all. And I say:" he clears his throat, making an effort to do his best teenage Gukkie impression."'Hey, _____, um, so, I think you're beautiful and I've had a crush on you since seventh grade, haha, just wanted to let you know.'"
Mijoo rolls her eyes, still chewing. "And then what?"
"And then she looked me up and down, giggled, fucking giggled, Mijoo, and said 'Who are you, again?'" Mijoo gasps and Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to force that recollecion out of his head.
"What a bitch." she can't help but laugh before apologizing. Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his brownie. "She didn't say anything else?"
"She said something along the lines of:" he clears his throat again, this time, doing an impression of you. "'That's sweet and all but, you and I... we're not the same. And I have a boyfriend, so...' She said that like I didn't know, like I wasn't aware of the school's it couple! Like I was dumb!"
Mijoo nods. "And now you want to fuck her even more than you did in high school."
"I- No! Well, yes. Fuck, of course I want to sleep with her! But I just... can't."
"Why not?"
"Did you hear anything about what I just told you or were you too concentrated trying to get high?"
It's Mijoo's turn to roll her eyes. "I heard everything you just told me. I just don't understand what the problem is. You two were sixteen. Sure, she was a bitch about it, but Lord knows I've been a bitch my entire life and now I'm not anymore." Jungkook raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, sometimes I can be nice. But the point is..." Mijoo finishes her piece of brownie before getting off of Jungkook's desk. "It's been, what? Nine? Ten years? People change, JK. You're the best example of that. You want to fuck her and she obviously wants to fuck you too. You're both adults." she wipes her hands on her shorts. "I think it's time you fulfill that high school fantasy of yours."
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You've made up your mind.
And by you, it means Chaelin has made up your mind.
It didn't take long to convince you though. That last interaction with Jungkook cause too many emotions stirring within you. It left you hot, it left you bothered, it left you confused. Sure, it also left you a little bit embarrassed like the first time, but above everything else, that interaction with Jungkook left you absolutely livid.
Because who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook, formerly known as Guk, Gukkie, Jungukkie, and currently known as JK, think he was to come near you, speed your heart rate's up, and then runaway like that?
You've spent days thinking about it. About that face, about that body, about those hands and- shit. You're doing it again.
You've spent days trying to push those intrusive thoughts. Spent days trying to bury what happened. You've spent days trying to keep quiet, not telling anyone about it and just wishing that stupid spark of desire simply went away.
But it has just been simply unavoidable. You haven't been able to ignore the sleepless nights with your brain drifting back to that night and forbidding your hand from slipping under your panties. Or the excessive amount of time during the day where images of him suddenly popped in your head and wouldn't go away, even with you squeezing your thighs to try to make the ache go away.
So you ended up ranting and ranting and ranting to the only person you could confide on, who is obviously your best friend. Your best friend, who's too smart for her own good and knows you too well for your liking. Because apparently your moodiness and snappy remarks couldn't go unnoticed.
And after explaining the fiasco over a bottle of wine -and minutes of endless laughing on Chaelin's part because, again, it's Gukkie you two were talking about and, according to her, this was "the most karmic thing I've ever seen"-, she gave you the best advice an older sister could ever give.
"Fuck him."
"I know right? Fuck him!"
"No. I mean, fuck him."
And now here you are. Right inside that room you stepped in weeks ago, confronting the man in question with the same confidence that has always distinguished you from others and trying to act like the fluttering inside your belly wasn't nauseauting.
"A date."
"Yes."
"You want to go on a date with me." this wouldn't be so hard if Jungkook didn't look so delectable in a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. You cross your arms over your chest, doing your best to not look down at the exposed skin of a man who obviously worked out a lot and apparently, never skipped leg day. "What's the catch?"
He's sitting on his chair, back resting comfortably and legs spread, narrowing his eyes at you and probably wondering why the girl at the front desk let you in without an appointment. Also, probably wondering if there was a catch to all of this.
"There's no catch. I just want to go to the fair this weekend. I'll ask Taehyung for your number and text you the date and the exact place we'll be meeting. Unless..." your quirk one of your eyebrows. "Unless you're already planning on how you'll chicken out this time."
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Of course, Jungkook says yes to going on a date with his high school crush but spends the following days overthinking every single thing.
He can't help but feel like it's kinda sketchy. What if you're planning your vendetta on him? What if you don't even show up and he ends up there looking like a damn idiot? What if you hate him and are just messing up with him? What if that incident in high school is going to repeat itself?
"If she doesn't show up, you simply move on and never speak to her again. It's that simple. She can't have that much power over you to cry about something like that." Mijoo had said that same day she let you in the tattoo parlor after you'd asked to see Jungkook. Jungkook's coworker hadn't even question you and just motioned you to Jungkook's room with a knowing smile on her face. Later that day, Jungkook had scolded her about it and she'd simply shrugged.
He considers cancelling, eyes reading the 'won't be able to make it, sorry (sad face emoji)' over and over again and fingers hovering over the send button so many times he's lost count. But then he remembers that comment of yours about him chickening out and Jungkook starts seeing red.
How couldn't you understand he's just terrified of you rejecting him one more time? Sure, Jungkook is now an adult who doesn't get butthurt over stuff like that. He's experienced too much after graduating from high school and he's a much stronger individual than his fragile self back was back then.
But something about you just makes him feel so... weak.
He still finds it impossible to concieve where he got the courage to approach you like that at Taehyung's pool, or how he brought himself to touch you for longer than a minute without coming in his pants. He'd enjoyed it too much. Allowing him to see you so exposed, just for him. He'd be so tempted to kiss you right there and then, to run his hands up and down your thighs and fully wrap your legs around him to let you known how much you'd affected him. Once you called his name, it was like he'd finally snapped out of it and backed away like he'd been burned by you. He spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep himself from pulling down his pants and jerking off in his friend's bathroom.
It's terrible. Because he feels like the teenager he used to be when you're around. Shy, insecure and overall a mess. You showing up in his life after so many years and now apparenly being interested in him seems like a dream that he's not sure he wants to keep being in or wake up from before it's too late and he falls back into that tumoltuous longing that will inevitably end up in heartbreak. His heartbreak.
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It's saturday night, he's standing by himself in the crowded fair at the spot. You're fifteen minutes late and he's already about to turn back and dip out. He feels too awkward and the nerves are eating him alive.
You're not going to show up. You're not going to show up and now he feels and looks even dumber than the time he told you he was crushing on you. You're not even going to show up and now he's going to come back home, get drunk by himself and curse your name for-
"Hey!" he turns around to the sound of your voice and sees you running towards him. "Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my phone and spent like thirty minutes looking for it. Turns out, Sharon Stone, was taking a nap on top of it and I didn't even notice."
"Sharon Stone?"
"Chaelin's cat."
To be honest, he's too surprised to process your explanation right away. He might also be a little speechless because that sky blue sundress looks too good on your skin and your eyelashes are so long, framing your beautiful eyes, and your lips are all glossy and kisseable that it takes him a while to find his own voice.
He clears his throat. "It's alright." scratching the back of his head, he momentarely adverts his gaze from you in an attempt to not get distracted by how soft your hair looks and how much he wants to wrap it around his hands in a ponytail. "Um, where do you want to go first?"
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Almost an hour and a half later, when the sun has already disappeared and you're both surrounded by colorful lights, Jungkook decides to buy the both of you hot dogs and a drink and you both settle down on a bench.
You've been walking all over the fair, going from booth to booth, playing any game in sight Jungkook dared you to -he obviously had a competitive streak-: from the ballon and dart games, to the shooting games, to the bumping cars, to the ball-in-basket one. To say you were having fun was an understatement.
You'd almost regretted setting the date up. You were sure he wouldn't even show up and if he did, you were scared of how awkward things could get between the two of you. And if things were awkward, you were sure it would only take less than thirty minutes for the both of you to part ways and never talk again about such failure of a date.
To your surprise, none of that happened.
The conversation was flowing, both of you acting like you were strangers on their first date getting to know each other, which, to be fair, that's exactly what it felt like. There was a slight banter, teasing each other when one of you lost in whatever game you were playing while the other was obviously winning. There were laughs and a funny feeling in your tummy whenever you'd walk side by side and his arm brushed yours.
There was no stiffness on his shoulders, no mention of the past or your previous encounters, no acknowledgement of the blatant sexual tension you'd experienced before, not an ounce of avoidance whenever your eyes met his and he was even sure of himself enough to place a hand on your lower back or briefly interwine your fingers with his to guide you through the mass of people.
It felt like you'd both unspokenly agreed on making each other feel comfortable enough to have a good time.
"I didn't think you were going to show up, to be honest." you suddenly say, taking a sip of your strawberry juice and thankful to finally let your feet rest for a while.
Jungkook looks at you, hot dog mid air and eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "You didn't think I was going to show up? I didn't think you were going to show up." you simply shrug, lowering your gaze seepishly, the beginning of a smile on both your faces. He surprises you by tilting your head in his direction with his forefinger. You watch him watching you, a little dazed, a little lost in how his dark hair messily falls over his forehead and his equally dark eyes study your face, his thumb swiping over your lower lip. "You um... There was ketchup right there." he lies.
"Oh" you say, feeling your face heating up. "Thanks. Red doesn't really match this dress." you manage a smile and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.
At that, he eyes your dress for a moment, mouth slightly ajar. He's debating on whether or not to say something but you beat him to it.
"I'm sorry, by the way."
"For being late? I already told you it's fin-"
"No." you shake your head. "For... that time when we were young and I was such a concieted brat." you say, looking away , trying to find anything else that's not his pretty face. "I thought I was a queen bee back then. I was annoying and rude, specially to you. I..." you lick your lips. The cherry glittery gloss was already gone. "I thought it was cute, what you said. There was no reason for me to act like that. I know this doesn't make anything right but..." when you turn to face him again, there's still the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry."
A few seconds go by before it's him who's shaking his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago, anyway." he smiles at you, although it doesn't reach his eyes and seems sorta forced. You sigh, and he takes your hand. "Let's go to the ferris wheel."
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tell you're tense. You're sitting right beside him in the ferris cabin, your back is all straight, you're facing forward and he believes you haven't blinked for what feels like an eternity. He thinks it has everything to do with your conversation a few minutes ago. You were probably not content with his response but what could Jungkook do? There was really no point in apologizing for something that happened years ago, but at the same time, he didn't want to hold anything against you like a resentful asshole because it was really not who he was. But there was still a little bit of stingyness inside of him and he didn't know how to make it go away.
At the end of the day, here you were, on a date with him that you'd asked for, getting along and asking questions about him and laughing at his jokes and trying to start all over again.
But then the ferris wheel starts moving, and he finally understands why you look so uncomfortable.
It's the way you immediately grip his forearm, nails digging in his skin and he swears he hears the smallest gasp forcing itself out your throat.
"Are you... scared?" he tentatively asks.
You say nothing for a while, not moving an inch. He would laugh if you didn't look so pained about it.
"I don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters." you finally say through gritted teeth.
"It's not really that small and ferris wheels are not rollercoasters. " your nails dig deeper and he winces. "Okay, okay. You don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters, and that includes ferris wheels. So why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know. I've never liked ferris wheels but you seemed excited about it, so..."
There's a silence after that in the environment, neither of you exactly sure of what to say or how to act. Until Jungkook moves one of his hands hands until it's resting on the one who's holding onto him for dear life, fingers caressing yours. The warmth of his hand spreads through yours and although it's almost July and you can already feel your sweaty back staining your dress, it's oddly comforting. What's more comforting even, is him twisting his body towards you and talking with the calmest and most soothing tone you've ever heard.
"Look at me." you do instantly, unwillingly, and kinda wish you hadn't. It's almost as if your body will do anything he says without question. Like he has some sort of power over it to just react however he wants. His eyes bore into yours and suddenly the cab doesn't seem so suffocating. "It's just you and me right now. We're not even on a ferris wheel." the corners of his mouth turn slowly upwards. You zone out the environment, suddenly too aware of him and how close he is and how loud the beating of your heart is to your own ears.
"Jungkook."
You swallow the knot in the back of your throat when he removes his hand from yours. It almost makes you protest, - now realizing you've losened the tight grip on his arm- , before it craddles your face, keeping you in place while bringing his body closer.
"You have to stop saying my name like that."
With his thigh touching your thigh, your whole demeanor melts. When he leans closer, and you feel his breath fanning over your lips, your eyes shut closed.
"Tell me I can-" he starts to say.
"Yes." you finish for him. He doesn't doubt on closing the distance between you two. His lips touch yours and your body shakes in excitement. It's just him lightly skimming your lips with his but it's already too much and at the same time, not enough. It has you deepening it, yourself moving closer when he kisses you again. It has you relaxing against him, the tenseness prior disappearing and making you arch your back when his tongue asks for permission.
But it's exactly then, the moment you open your lips to him, that has you losing your mind.
The sparks fly, traveling from your head to your toes and then settling on the pit of your stomach as soon as the kiss starts to turn desperate and rough. When he nibbles your lips with his teeth, it makes you mewl and whine and your nipples tight against the cotton of your dress. It makes the metal barbell to feel uncomfortable, slightly painful. And when he goes back to being messy and filthy with his tongue tangled with yours, your thighs close on their own.
He forces himself to pull his hand back and bring it down, finding the parting of yd opening them for him. "Wait," you say, your fingers wrapping around his forearm as you try to catch your breath."The ferris-" he shuts you up with another kiss.
"We're not on a ferris wheel." he reminds you, a soft whisper against your mouth. And for whatever reason, you believe him.
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"He fingered you on the ferris wheel."
"Yes."
"And you came before the ride was over."
You take a small sip of wine, your eyes focusing on the TV where a rerun of the Golden Girls is playing, although, to be fair, lately you haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else but a certain brunet with doe eyes and kisseable lips. "Yes."
She hums, stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between your thighs.
"How long did it took? Like five minutes?"
There's a pause in which you clench your jaw, your fingers twitching around the glass in your hand, and then you answer. "Probably less."
There's another pause, and then-
"Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha-"
You let her laugh. It's okay. You knew you had it coming.
Chaelin knows the pillow you throw right at her face is also something she had coming.
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It's not that you're mad.
Jungkook and you had a great time on that fair date, he made you laugh, bought hot dogs and drinks for the two of you and got you off inside the cab of a ferris wheel on record time with those magical, long fingers of his. Technically, there shouldn't be anything to be angry about.
Except it's been a week and you can't stop thinking about him, about wanting more, and about those words that he left you with after the ferris wheel ride ended, when you had tried to return the favor.
'Next time, maybe.'
And there hasn't been a next time.
The thought of texting him or giving him a call to ask for another date is persistent in your mind. It remains while you do the laundry or wash the dishes, while you shower, while you eat or while you spend your days at the beach with Chaelin. There's always the incessant desire to reach out towards your phone, unlock it and dial his number to beg for more.
But you'd never been one to beg, so you resist the urge everytime that feeling starts to creep up on you and it washes over you like a wave. You silence your phone and try to concentrate on making the most out of your summer.
It's one random night, when you're tiredly dragging your feet across Chaelin's apartment's carpet, yawning and ready to succumb to a well needed slumber, that you see your phone screen's lighting up with a message.
Your heart pathetically leaps inside your chest when you read his name.
'you free on saturday?'
You wish you could say you ghosted him, ignored his text and moved on with your life until it was him who begged you for another date. But the truth is you opened it in a matter of seconds and typed 'i'm free, why?' back in a rush with trembling fingers.
So now you're on the passanger seat of his car while he sits on the driver seat, the first saturday night of July, like he's Danny Zuko and you're Sandy Olsson, watching a vintage movie in a drive-in theater which plot you don't give a shit about, even if Jungkook's date plan idea made something inside of you churn with adoration.
And the only reason why you don't give a single damn about the movie playing in front of your eyes, is because you're hot. Way too hot. And the reason and cause is none other than the boy-now-turned-man sitting on your left.
You barely exchanged words when he picked you up, just rode in silence until you got to your destination and you bet he can feel as well as you do the tension in the air.
You've surveyed him a few times from the corner of his eye, noticing him fiddling with the rings around his fingers and shifting in his seat from time to time. And if the sight of his fingers bring memories that you've tried to bury to keep yourself from lunching towards him, a brief glance at his forearms, adorned with ink drawn through his golden flesh -doing a poor job at concieling the veins running underneath- and his skin-tight jeans wrapping those muscled thighs of his is enough to have you be the one squirming in your seat.
A woman can only endure so much, and you come to that realization thirty minutes into the movie.
"I want to suck your cock." you say, a stern expression on your face as you turn your body in his direction.
Jungkook frozes as your voice slides over him. It takes him a couple seconds to look at you, shock widening his eyes and parting his lips.
"Huh?" he manages, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.
Without separating your gaze from his, you gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail with the hair tie previously around your wrist. You don't miss the quick glance he sneaks into the curvature of your neck and the valley between your breasts.
Inching forward, closing in on him, you place one of your hands on top of his thigh, the action making his whole body tense. "____..." he whispers your name in a warning that doesn't sound convincing even in his own ears.
You smile, your eyes never wavering from his as your hand inches upwards, slowly caressing over the fabric of his jeans until you finally come across what you were looking for.
His hand flies to your wrist, stilling your movements. "____, this is not-". He starts, but his voice gets stuck inside his throat when you palm his undoubtly growing erection.
"Shh." your shaky breath fans over his cheek and you force yourself on your knees on the passanger seat in a more comortable possition to stop the trembling to reach them.
You fumble with the belt holding his pants in place, then with the button and finally with the zipper. He helps you by lifting his hips to pull his jeans and boxers to his thighs and you have to bite back a mixture between a gasp and a moan at the sight below you. You haven't even seen Jeon Jungkook naked all the way, but the mere sight of his hard cock with pre-cum glistening on his crown is probably the sexiest thing you've ever had the pleasure of appreciating.
It gets sexier when you wrap your hand around the base and his body melts in the driver seat, throwing his head back with his eyes shut. It gets even sexier when you finally lower your head, swirling your tongue over the head before finally engulfing him fully in the wet warmth of your mouth.
"Shit." his voice is tight, uneven as his hand loosely grips your ponytail, as if careful not to accidentally hurt you and break the glorious moment.
Although you wouldn't mind at all. Because the moment your hands are on him, and your tongue is on his shaft, that's the only thing you care about. Your belly is twisting, an undeniable wet spot on your panties as the fabric sticks to your folds, and the more you suck Jungkook, the more you want from him. His earthy taste is addicting and the soft little whimpers he occasionally can't prevent himself from are making you want to milk him until he can't take it no more. There's this desire within you to whorship him and his cock like you had been dreaming for the past weeks.
"This is s-so fucking h-hot." he rasps between ragged breaths, the bobbing of your head, sliding up and down his dick as your hand works the centimeters your mouth can't take is about to make him faint.
"Getting a blowjob?" you joke, your throat starting to feel sore as you kiss his leaking tip.
"N-no." he draws in a rough breath when you take him all of him again. "You giving me a blowjob... T-the f-fact that anyone c-could see us..." he darts a quick glance at your body, your ass up in the air and your dress sliding down, almost exposing you completely. "The fact that-ah! Shit..." he squeezes his eyes when he feels a glob of your spit lubricating him.
There's a sudden need to make you feel the same, to touch your skin and have you shaking the same way you have him. So one of his hands travels from your spine, to your perked ass, finally dragging the cotton of your dress to allow himself to see your thin white panties. "The fact that anyone could see you l-like this," he murmurs, regaining a little bit of control when he squeezes one of your cheeks. "letting t-them see you s-sucking my cock and..." he smirks when he feels you gasping around him, his fingers trapped between your thighs and pushing them inside your heat easily "and letting them see me fingering this pretty little pussy."
Soon after that he's cumming in your mouth while you're cumming around his fingers.
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At first, it's mostly on weekends when you see each other. Weekends of stolen kisses and soft sighs and whispering against each other's lips. Then weekends turn to week days, sitting on grass while sipping on refreshing beverages, drawing each other laughs, elbows touching as you walk around the park side by side because the both of you are too scared to interwine your fingers together.
Jungkook feels content like this: sitting on the sand with you between his thighs, admiring the sunset while nuzzing your neck and inhaling your scent every now. He likes waching you enoying your strawberry ice cream, almost forgetting the chocolate chip one already melting in his hand.
"If you were an ice cream flavor,which one would you be?" you ask him, relaxing against his chest.
"Rocky road."
"Why?"
He shrugs behind you. "Everyone likes rocky road."
You hum, playfully rolling your eyes. "What about me? Which ice cream flavor would I be?"
"Lemon sherbet, in the summer."
"Lemon sherbet? Out of all of the flavours out there, you're rocky road and I'm lemon sherbet?"
"Lemon sherbet, in the summer." he corrects.
"Okay, fine. Why?"
"You're boring and basic."
You gasp, trying to feign outrage but not being able to repress the laugh that escapes your throat. You elbow him, his laugh mixing with yours while taking the time to wrap his arms around your form, the breeze blowing your hair allowing him a spot between your neck and your shoulder. "You're boring and basic, but once you have a taste..." he presses a small kiss on your skin, causing the tiny hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. "Once you have a taste, specially on the hottest day in the middle of summer, you can't stop tasting and licking until there's no more lemon sherbet left."
You suck in on a breath when he craddles your jaw to face him. "It's been my favourite flavor since I was a kid." he kisses you immediately after, his lips swallowing the small whimper now stuck in your throat.
You close your eyes as his tongue opens your mouth, arousal blasting your insides and something much, much deeper that you fear to even name shredding your chest.
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The beginning of august comes faster then you two realize, but what you both do realize is how hard it's becoming to stay away from each other.
It's been thirty days of dates happening almost everyday, sharing high school memories and anecdotes of the time you spent away from each other. Hours of getting to know each other and opening up to each other. From failed relationships to new friendships. Of park dates walking side by side and fingers now interwined because you both realized one day that, fuck it.
It's difficult to sleep when you realize you're starting to catch serious feelings for somebody who was just supposed to be a fling. It's hard to sleep when his face, his voice and his touch and thoughts of missing him when you don't see each other start haunting you at night.
It's hard for Jungkook to focus on work when you're everything that's occupying his mind. Because he has a hundred sketches to make but he's too busy thinking about the hundred different sketches he would make of you.
It's hard not to send him a goodnight text, just like it's hard for him not to reply in a matter of seconds, almost as if he was already waiting to recieve it.
Jungkook thinks of you at night. Of how pretty and absolutely perfect you are for him. Of the taste of your lips, the way your hair feels between his fingers, or the flush on your cheeks when he makes you cum as droplets of sweat accumulate between your breasts. He thinks about your voice. He also thinks about the amount of hours left to be able to listen to it again.
But mostly he thinks about how ridiculous this situation is. Because he was stupidly crushing on you when you were only teenagers, daydreaming about a chance with you. And now his crush is long gone and he's starting to realize that he's falling, and falling fast.
You, too, think of Jungkook at night. Of his ability to bring a smile out of you, to soothe you with just a few words and filling your belly excitement, happiness and feelings you're sure you've never felt before.
Jungkook's managed to imprint himself in your dreams, and you, in his.
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Getting drunk with Jungkook is fun and messy.
It's fun because he lets loose, he stutters a lot like he used to do when he was a teenager and he makes you laugh louder than ever before. It's messy because he has no control over his hands as they explore your body, clumsily taking your clothes off as his mouth laps at the breast he's allowed to touch.
He's more forceful and dominating too, pinning your hands above your head, and commanding you to keep them right there, on the pillows of his bed. When you rebel against it, your fingers finding the hard planes of his chest, he pulls away from you and places them back where he left them. "Don't make me tie you up." he threatens, and your body shudders beneath him.
He sucks, and bites and leaves marks all over your skin, grunting in response to your moans. Creating a path of kisses from your lips to your stomach, his shoulders separating your knees, opening you up only for him. And thankfully, when you reach down to tug at the strands of hair framing his face, he lets you, because he knows you need something to hold on to the moment his tongue eats you up. He leaves his fingertrips on your thighs as he keeps you in place, not allowing you to runaway. Just forcing you to take it as he takes from you.
And when you cum, he doesn't back away. He keeps sucking, and licking and punishing you with his mouth until you're cumming over and ove again, screaming and begging for his cock.
Having Jungkook over you, both completely naked, skin to skin and only sweat in between is more than you could've ever fantazised about. He slurls your name when he puts the condom on. He would do anything to feel you raw, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to last a minute. The sight of you spread open, with your cheeks darkened by a crimson blush and your hair tangled all over his pillow is a picture he wants to keep forever.
He enters you when you call his name, your voice dripping with need. He stretches your warm and wet felsh, slowly easing himself into you at first, until he's fully inside and your bodies are completely in union. A shiver runs down Jungkook's spine when he looks at your contorted face in pleasure, your lips forming an 'O' and your pussy clenching around him.
"Oh, my God." you moan into the dark of Jungkook's room, and even then, he can clearly appreciate every curve of your body lifting off the mattress to connect with his. He lowers himself on his elbows on either side of your head, caging you in and capturing your mouth with his.
"I know, baby." he murmurs. It's hot, in the middle of August but suddenly Jungkook doesn't hate summer as much as he used to. Not with you sharing the heat with him. "It's way beyond what I could ever imagine." You nod hurriedly against his lips, your arms finding their way around his neck as he starts rocking in and out of you.
"It's too good." you cry, when he hits a particular spot that has you rolling your eyes in bliss and gripping his waist tighter with your legs against you. Your fingers thread through his hair, not bothered by the beads of sweat gathered on the nape of his neck.
"Too good..." he agrees, not missing the shiver that's shaking your own frame when he picks up his speed. "You have no idea what I would do t-to fucking feel you with n-no barriers between us," his movements become frantic as his hips slap against yours, his jaw clenched as he keeps talking, "to s-stuff you full of my c-cum over and over again until it won't stop d-dripping."
Jungkook's voice against your ear has you trembling and your orgasm nearing closer, your nails scratching down his back as his thrusts overpower your form. "Would you like that?" he asks with his voice strangled.
"Y-yes. Anything y-you want."
"You'd take all of my cum like a good cum-slut?"
You hate the fact that that's what makes you come undone. The twisting and knotting in the pit of your stomach finally snapping until you're holding on to him like you never want to let him go and he's following soon after.
Because if Guk, Gukkie, Jengukkie was not only able to make you come in less than a few minutes with his fingers or his tongue, but he was also able to make you cum instantly just by calling you a good cum-slut, that means you're fucked. Like, really, really fucked.
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There's a knot in Jungkook's stomach and a suffocating grip around his vocal chords as he caresses your skin. The sun is rising in the distance with the first rays of light entering his room through the window. Your shamphoo is intoxicating him, numbing him and enticing him to bury his nose in the tangled curls pressing against his chest. Your arm is thrown across his stomach, your breathing leavig goosebumps all over his body.
"It's too early. Go back to sleep." you mumble against his heart. He wonders if you can feel it dangerously speeding up.
"I can't." he says, voice struggling to stay balanced. "I have to tell you something."
You hum in response, sleep still interwined with your body, your arm tightening around him. You sigh in content, expecting him to elaborate.
He wets his suddenly dry lips. "I don't want this to end. In fact, ____.... I want more. Need more."
"Jungkook..." your whole body goes rigid right away, untanglling your bodies from each other and sitting up on the mattress.
"No, listen to me." he mimicks your movements, rapidly grabbing your hands to make you look at him. His eyes are expressive, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in his dark irises. "I wake up everyday, and you're the first thing I think of. I go on about my day, and I keep thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and counting down the hours until I get to see you again. I spend every night dreaming about you, and when we'e together, the only thing I can think about is how I wish I could stop time so I don't have to say bye to you the next morning. ____, I-"
"Jungkook, stop please." you shake your head, pushing away from him and in desperate need of air. You press a hand against your chest, beating back the throb of pain while the other curls in a tight fist, the feeling of your fingernails digging into your palm less painful than the ache inside your heart. "This... This wasn't supossed to happen, Jungkook." you start pacing around the room, as if trying to find an exit while avoiding his gaze. "This was just a summer fling. That's all it was, I'm supposed to come back to the city in two weeks and-"
"A summer fling?" a sardonic sneer comes out of him. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening again..." he mumbles to himself before rising from the bed. You stop immediately, a shiver quaking through you as his impressive frame intimidates His eyebrows are drawn together and his dark eyes are void of any prior emotion. "You're going back to the city in two weeks? And you didn't care to tell me until now, after I just spilled my guts to you?"
You eyes fill up with uncomfortable tears, reaching one arm towards him. "Jung-"
He flinches, taking one step back. "A summer fling is all I mean to you?"
"Ju- "
"Look me in the eyes, right now, and tell me that's all I mean to you. A summer fling." panic crawls up your throat. There's the need within you to confirm, to stare into his beautiful and stern eyes and tell him that, yes, that's all he is to you. But you've never been a good liar. So nothing comes out. You opt for wrapping your ams around yourself wishing they were his and lowering your eyes to the ground. "I think... I think you should leave."
Those are the last words he says to you, and the last thing you see when you turn around one more time after gathering your clothes, is his back as he looks out the window.
You allow yourself to cry the exact moment you step into Chaelin's apartment. Your friend is sitting on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand and a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the livingroom's table.
"Hey, you're early tod- Baby, what's wrong?"
"Please, don't laugh."
That morning, you lay down for hours on the couch with your head on Chaelin's lap while she softly brushes your hair as you cry, hiccup, fight through the pain in your heart and relate to her as best as you can the latest events.
She doesn't laugh at all.
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"She'll come back." Mijoo's slurred words do nothing to put Jungkook's state at ease that night. He simply shrugs, fingers clenching at his sides, frowing into his drink before gulping down the bitter taste of vodka in one shot. "Seriously, I think she's just afraid. My ex was the same."
"Comparing her to your ex is not the analogy you think it is."
"Ugh, shut up. Things didn't work with my ex because she was a bitch." Jungkook gives Mijoo a pointed look which she responds to by rolling her eyes and sipping on her rum coke. "Your girl is not a bitch. She used to be a bitch. What she did this morning was bitchy, but, like I said, she's just being a pussy. If she only wanted sex with you, she wouldn't have been doing couple stuff with you the entire summer."
"Whatever. I don't care." he lies and Mijoo knows he's lying but decides to drop the subject fo now.
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"We can't keep spending our days smoking weed." Chaelin speaks over Blanche's voice on the TV.
"I know. I'm just sad."
"You have to come back and tell him how you feel."
"I know."
There's a beat of silence before your friend kicks your thigh with her feet.
"I know and I will." you mumble through red eyes and smoke clouds.
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It's September first and it doesn't feel like Jungkook's birthday at all. He's been trying to focus on his work, alternating between isolating in full hermit mode and hanging out with friends to drink away his sorrow. The days have gone by and before he could realize it, he woke up today with over twenty text messages wishing him a happy day and a throbbing hangover.
He dresses up on autopilot. First a cotton shirt, then a pair of jeans and lastly, his Nike's. He doesn't bother tying his sneakers just like he doesn't bother taking a shower. He smokes a cigarette for breakfast, the death stick making him feel nauseaus on an empty stomach. And then he goes to work.
He's been repeating the same routing for the past weeks and he's not thinking of changing it, not even on his bithday.
He spends hours drawing, tattooing and drawing some more between yawns. He ignores texts an phone calls and simply waits until the day is over to go home, go to bed and forget about the fact that you're probably on your way to the city and that he hasn't crossed your mind not even once.
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Inkphoria.
You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping cup of ice cream as it melts down your fingers the more you wait. The shop is already empty and it's starting to darken out side, and still you're so hot. Your shorts are heavy and your tank top is sticking to your skin. You didn't even bother to put on any make, although your eyebags definitely needed some concieling and your lashes some dimension to hide the fact that you'd been crying for the last few days.
'You're crazy about him.'
Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.
You've lost count of how many times your best friend has given your advice, or simply encouraged you to do something you've been too scared to try.
'And he's cazy about you too.'
Chaelin might be wrong about marmite and the movie Cats, but she's definitely now wrong about anything regarding your and Jungkook.
That's it. You briefly close your eyes, inhale a deep breath then release it slowly. You start walking. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing the door open.
The tattoed blonde looks up from the counter the second you come into view. She smiles at the distance between you two. "You can come closer. I won't bite."
You clear your throat, stalking closer to her. "Is he-"
"He's in the back." she replies before you can finish you question. You close your mouth, clear your throat and nod your head.
"Thanks, Mijoo." she gives you a small wink, her smile easing your nerves like she had three months ago.
She watches you disappear. She shakes he head, her smile meeting her eyes. "I told him so."
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Jungkook ignores the knock on his door at first. It's almost ten and the parlor is about to close. He just has to finish this last fucking sketch so he can grab his shit and go the fuck ho-
Knock knock.
He growls, exhasperation cursing through him. He runs a hand through his messy pile of hair, his rings tangling between the strands, making him wince in pain. "Come in." he grunts under his breath. The door opens. "Mijoo, I really have to finish-"
He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees you.
"Hey." you say after a moment of hesitation.
"Hey." he replies and although there's something inside, deep in his chest, shouting at him to stand up, run up to you and kiss your face while he tells you how beautiful you look right now and how happy he is to see that you're still here, he decides against it. "Listen, ____, I'm pretty busy-"
"No, you listen to me." you cut him off abruptly. He looks taken aback and is already opening his mouth to say something, but you're not having it. "Please, just... Let me talk."
Silence looms between the two of you for a while, a staring contest defying each other to back down. When you take one step inside and close the door behind you, he sighs and leans back against his chair.
You move towards him slowly, your lip caught between your lip going through your mind for the speech you'd been preparing the last few days. Your hands are sticky due to the the sugary treat liquifying in your hand. "I know there's no reason you should give me another chance after rejecting you in high school, and there's definitely no reason why you should forgive me for the way I shut you out a few weeks ago. You've been confessing your feelings to me since we were teenagers, and now it's my turn to tell you exactly how I feel about you."
"Jungkook, the truth is... I like you so much. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. Ever. I said this was just a summer fling, and I was lying. I was lying because there's no way a simple summer fling could make me feel the way you do. There's no way a simple summer fling could make me want not just summer with you, but also fall and winter, and spring and every summer that comes next."
You hadn't realize when your eyes filling up with tears until the sight of him starts blurrying in front of you. His fingers reach yours, his thumb comforting on your skin. "____, it's okay-"
"I'm not done yet." you sniffle, gathering enough courage to continue. "I brought you a lemon sherbet because you said it was your favourite. But you also implied I was your favourite, and I want to keep being you favourite, but now it's already melted and-"
The corners of Jungkook's lips start pulling upward as he tugs you towards him, his heart loudly jumping inside his chest. "Shhh, come here."
He takes the ice cream from your hand and places it on his desk. Then he's helping you onto his lap, your head tucked under his chin and your arms wapping on their own around his neck.
He doesn't care about your sticky fingers or the wet stains of your tears in his shirt. The only thing he cares about is the fact that you're right there, letting him engulf your frame and drown in the scent and warmth he'd misses so much.
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The first day of June has Jungkook sweating and wishing for a haircut. Jungkook usually hates summer. He hates the fact that he has to shower at least twice a day, and the fact that the heat is almost unbearable to sleep in and also the fact that he's easily sunburnt.
This year, however, Jungkook likes summer a little bit more.
"Excuse me, miss. Do you have an appointment?" it's the fact that you're starting to wear those summer dresses he loves so much, and the fact that your skin glows under the sun like glitter, and also the fact that he can lick ice cream off of it whenever he desires.
"I am the appointment." your giggle is almost childlike, playing with Jungkook's heart strings. You shut the door behind you, nearing him. You also seem to always have that flush on your cheeks. Although he likes to think part of it is due to him. He doesn't say anything else as he puts his pencil down and instead turns around in the chair to have you immediately on top of his thighs.
Yeah, he also likes the path your lips trace from his cheek, to his jaw, ending at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. It still makes his body quaver to this day.
"Let me see." he murmurs against you forhear, his hand already working on unbottoning the front of your dress.
"Mijoo hasn't left yet." you whisper back, your smile impossible to supress and the faint whimper impossible to hide when his fingers expose your breast and tug at the titanium barbell adorning the already hardened nub.
Jungkook loves knowing he was the one to do that, and also the only one to play with it. He doesn't hesitate when he dips his head. "As if we'd ever cared about that." he adds, wrapping your sole point in his mouth.
He fucks you on his studio table with your legs around his waist and his tongue playing with both your breasts, the tattoo sketches long forgotten, scattered on the floor as he whispers against your flesh something that sounds a lot like 'I love you'.
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luna-writes-stuff · 3 years ago
Text
Day 23: Needy, Fili Durin
Song link
Fanfic, female! reader
Fluff, very steamy, everyone lives! AU
Word count: 2327
Tw: mentions of insecurities (not descriptive) and bullying. Spreading of rumors and secrets. Stress of fitting into a society. Gets a bit steamy, but no smut (thin fucking ice though). Mentions of hickeys being made. Some touching. Again, gets steamy. Shirtless Fili, cry about it. One (1) mention of rolling your hips against his.
Summary: Upon reclaiming the mountain, the inhabitant begin gossiping and spreading rumors about you, causing you to feel unsafe. One evening, you accidentally reveal those doubts and thoughts to Fili, but force him not to do anything about it, as you should be the one to handle it. As middle ground, Fili intends to show you how much he exactly loves you.
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"If you take to long to hit me back, I can't promise you how I'll react. But all I can say, is at least I'll wait for you."
You and Fili had been courting long before the travel to Erebor, and the two of you had always been close. During the journey, you were practically attached to the hip. Even more than he and his brother had been.
But as the mountain finally got reclaimed, and the royal duties he had been preparing himself for his entire life ultimately came to test him, the dwarf grew distant. You would see him lesser than usual. And even though you had expected it, it still bothered you.
The first few days you had assumed he had been so incredibly busy, because it had practically been the start of an old kingdom, but after weeks, you began to realize that this was merely how it would always be. And you did not like it. Not one bit.
Of course, you could not blame Fili. He tried his best to divide his duties and his time with you, but it grew difficult. But you would wait for him. You always would. Even as the time without your future husband began to bother you.
"Lately, I've been on a roller coaster. Tryna get a hold of my emotions. But all that I know is I need you close."
Yet, the reclaiming of the mountain had not only taken its toll on the blonde dwarf; it had also taken its toll on you. As more dwarves would inhabit the kingdom, whispers about you began traveling. Some mere rumors, other personal secrets. And both of them would get you sick.
You had tried to ignore it, you truly did, but if the entire kingdom begins talking about the prince’s consort, the attention will never fade from it.
You would spend hours in your room, before scanning the halls to make sure you could leave in peace, without all those judging looks. The maidens in specific would take it upon themselves to point out any form of flaw they could find on you. Out loud. Things you had never once been insecure about were now making you hate yourself. Even when you told yourself to be bigger than them.
And the worst part is, that Fili somehow did not know. And you could not tell him. Perhaps he would lash out or do something rash. And that might only make the whole ordeal worse.
So you kept quiet, waiting the entire day to be back I to his arms.
"And I'ma scream and shout for what I love. Passionate, but I don't give no fucks. I admit that I'm a lil' messed up. But I can hide it when I'm all dressed up."
“Hello, amrâlime.” Fili mumbled as he stumbled into the room, his eyes sunken and his hair disheveled. It was a sight you had gotten used to after all these weeks. It hurt you to see him like that, but you could merely hope for it to be over soon.
You did not say anything. You did not need to. You only had to open his arms for him and he would walk into them, melting into your embrace. And that was exactly what you did.
“Busy day?” You whispered, running your fingers through his hair, making Fili him in agreement, his chin now resting on your shoulder as he felt himself relax under your touch.
“The most terrible meeting.” He explained quietly. “Nearly fell asleep.”
You chuckled at his words, lifting your head slightly to place a kiss on top of his.
“But now I’m here again.” He sighed, his hands squeezing your hips in affection, drawing you even closer to him.
“‘N I don’t want to hear another word about it.” Fili resumed, slurring his words as if sleep had already gotten hold of him.
"I'm obsessive and I love too hard. Good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far? This far."
You let out a tiny smile at his words, gently leading him to the bed as you kept holding onto him. When the back of his feet hit the edges, he turned his head to look at you.
“I don’t want to go to sleep yet.” He whined softly. “I want to spend time with my beautiful gem.”
You shook your head at him, helping him sit down as your hands found his hair once again. And just like that, he melted again; his head now leaning into your hand as he closed his eyes in bliss.
“You need sleep.” You pushed. “You need your energy for another day.”
“My love, I only want time with you.” Fili mumbled, opening his eyes again as he looked at your face. “It’s been months since we did something other than discuss the fare of my day.”
You shrugged at him, not nonchalantly per say, but in casual agreement.
“Why do we never discuss your day?” He pointed out, to which you frowned.
“I don’t really do much.” You tried to soothe.
“Neither do I. I only sit in boring meeting and speak a word every once in a while. Thorin does most of the speeches.” Fili defended, kicking his shoes off, before letting himself fall onto the bed, placing his head in your lap.
“Tell me about your day.”
"And I can be needy, way too damn needy. I can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed."
You looked into his eyes, before letting out a heavy sigh, your hand falling to his cheek as it absentmindedly scratched his beard.
“I stayed in my room. Reading a nice book.” You began to play off.
“You should come out more.” Fili now interrupted, taking hold of your hand. “People complain about not seeing you.”
“That’s not the only thing they complain about.” You mumbled quietly, but Fili had heard it.
“What do you mean?” He wondered, furrowing his eyebrows at your statement.
You swallowed thickly. You had let your mind run free, and you should definitely not have. You could not lie to him. He was the prince and whatever you were about to say, he was going to believe you and speak to others about it. If you would make something up, people would be spoken to about things they might not even know or mind.
"I can be needy, so hard to please me. I know it feels so good to be needed."
“They seem to hate me.” You finally spoke, dropping your worries.
Fili’s head now shot up, his body sitting up in record time as he listened to your words attentively.
“I hear them talk, I feel their eyes. They don’t like me. And I did not even do anything yet.” You sighed defeated.
“What do they say?” Fili tried to push, but you were quick to shut him off.
“Fili, I do not want you to do anything about it.” You admitted. “It will only become worse. It is my problem and I will deal with it.”
And that conflicted him. Because ever since the day he met you, he had promised himself to always help out if he could, not matter the circumstances. He’d be there to make you feel better. To make you feel comfortable. He would sacrifice his own duties if it meant for you to be at peace.
And now you specifically told him not to do that. And he could brush it off and keep to his vow, but then he would be dejecting your wishes and he also did not want that to happen.
"Sorry if I'm up and down a lot. Sorry that I think I'm not enough. And sorry if I say sorry way too much."
“But I want to help.” He confessed, pushing himself closer to your until your knees were touching.
“You already do.” You assured, risking a smile his way. “They might not like me, but you do. And I wish my words rang true when I tell you I only care what you think, but that unfortunately isn’t the case. But it does matter to me more than what strangers think.”
Fili grinned at that, before extending his arms, pushing his feet from under him as he gently launched himself at you, forcing you down on the bed as his weight smothered you.
“Then I think you should know that you are, by far, the most magnificent thing inside this entire mountain.” He whispered in your ear, before planting a kiss on your neck.
“Far more beautiful than any of the jewels decorating the throne room. Far more perfect than the gold that shines across the halls.” He continued, his kisses trailing all over your collarbone.
“And the most breathtaking sight my eyes ever beheld.”
You can go ahead and call me selfish. But after all this damage I can't help it. But what you can trust, is I need your touch."
His hands now traveled to your hips, pulling you up into him slightly, one of his legs finding its way between yours to support his weight. His face was still buried in your neck, his mouth trailing sloppy kisses all over as the cold beads of his mustache touched the sensitive skin every so often.
“Thank you.” You rasped out, holding the back of his head with one hand as the other reached under his shirt, tracing the soft skin of his stomach.
Fili’s dared to risk more aggressive kisses, his mouth now latching onto your neck, sucking hickeys that you knew would be visible the next day. His teeth occasionally scraped past the new bruises, making you let out a satisfied groan, urging him to continue.
Yet, you were also set on teasing him for the night. Only a little bit.
“But I do think you are the most precious thing inside the mountain.”
"I'ma scream and shout for what I love. Passionate but I don't give no fucks. I admit that I'm a lil' messed up. But I can hide it when I'm all dressed up."
Fili’s head slowly lifted as his eyes drilled into yours, giving you a teasing look. One you had known all to well.
“Do you now?” He whispered, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Aye.” You nodded, before giving a slight tug on his hair, forcing his lips to meet with yours.
Fili returned the gesture all too eager, his obvious excitement showing through his kisses, his hold on your hips tightening ever so lightly, making you grin in happiness.
Perhaps this had been exactly what you needed after a particularly rough day. Someone to be there for you and remind you of just exactly how much they loved you. Someone who would never even try to let you forget.
"I'm obsessive and I love too hard. Good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far? This far."
Fili’s hands now slowly, nearly unnoticeably, began trailing upwards. It wasn’t until you felt the cold metal of his rings on your sides that you knew what he was doing.
“Eager, are we?” You joked, your lips parting from his as Fili stared deep into your eyes, showing nothing but pure love and affection. And truth be told, it made your heart swell.
His expression had been so genuine and so sweet, that you could quite easily feel those ‘first-love butterflies’ all over again. And they felt so good to hold once more. There were so familiar, yet so foreign, but the feeling was not unwelcome. Not ever. And he knew it.
“How can I not be with a lover as beautiful as mine?” He wondered, leaning down again to grant you another kiss.
But instead of the hungry kisses he had shared earlier, this one was fueled by passion and love. A tender kiss; one that made the breath leave your lungs and would leave you speechless for a while.
"And I can be needy, way too damn needy. I can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed."
You sighed into the kiss, holding onto the ends of his shirt as you started to lift them. But the gesture did not go as easily as you thought it would have. He had been wearing about three layers of clothing, for the obvious cold inside the mountain, but they restricted you from getting the shirt off.
You groaned in frustration against his lips, causing Fili to chuckle into the kiss before parting, sitting up as he removed the top two layers. All while your eyes were on him.
“Last one is for you.” He offered, holding his hands out for you as a gesture for you to sit up.
You gratefully accepted his offer, rising onto your knees as your hands found the bottom of his shirt again. This time, the fabric left his body swiftly, leaving the top half of him bare to you.
You grinned at the sight, crawling over to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“My handsome prince.” You whispered, before moving your legs on both sides of his, now straddling him.
“My beautiful love.” He returned, crashing his lips onto yours in a needy manner.
"I can be needy, so hard to please me."
You now held onto his shoulders, rolling your hips against him once before pushing him down, looming over him, your lips not once breaking contact with his.
Fili let out a breathy groan into your mouth, his hands finding their way under your shirt, stroking your back lovingly as he held you close on top of him.
“Screw what others think.” Fili mumbled against your lips, now pulling you down completely in order for you to lose your hold over him.
He flipped you over before you could even bring your self to recover, caving you between his arms.
“I’ll let you know exactly what I think of you, if that it what truly matters to you.” He reassured, pushing the hair out of your face.
He loomed over you for a short while, simply admiring his sight, before pushing himself down again, intending on letting you know exactly how much you meant to him. And he would remind you the entire night.
"I know it feels so good to be needed."
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bakubub · 4 years ago
Text
In which racer!kuroo is your roommate, and seems to only like it when you treat his wounds... (word count: 1.9k)
Ngl quite proud of this one!!
Warnings: 18+, a whole lot of swearing, a whole lot of blood, innuendos and implied nsfw, reader almost vomits (NOT from pregnancy chill, I know we're all scarred but its going to be just fine) and if you're squeamish perhaps skip the scene where reader stitches his wound?
Also bit of a disclaimer: I am in NO WAY a med student and literally all of my knowledge is from movies and other fics... so if you acc know what to do in this situation this may be a torturous for you :D
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All due credits go to @aikk00​ for this AMAZING fanart!!!!
I watch as my roommate enters the penthouse, once again scratched up and bleeding, covered in so much blood there is no possible way that it was all his- if it was he would not be standing.
I launch myself off the couch- where I was sitting for the past hour nervously waiting for his return- and slip my arm under his, supporting him as we inched towards the bathroom.
"I can do this by myself you know," he grumbles, his grimace revealing just how much pain he was actually in.
"Mhm, I'm sure you can. Just like you boiled that poor egg by yourself last week, hmm?" I say sarcastically, trying to keep my mind calm and clear, because oh my god it looks really bad this time...
"Oi, its not my fault it fuckin' exploded," he mutters, voice laden with pain.
"You put it in the microwave because 'the shitty water wasn't doing its job.' Of course it would explode," I say, gently seating him on the closed toilet seat and taking out my supplies that I unfortunately have become rather accustomed to using. He's made it a habit to get himself injured.
"Where's the injury?" I ask, setting down my half-empty bottle of antiseptic and box of bandages. He peels off his shirt, cringing at the pain it brought him as the fabric was stuck to the gash that went from his left pectoral down to the middle of his chest.
"Pissed off a bidder after winning a race, fucker took out a knife once he realised he couldn't beat me up," he huffs out, arrogance still lacing his tone even with sweat dripping down his brow as he leans the back of his head onto the tile wall behind him. His Adam's apple bobs down his bloodstained neck as he speaks, and I quickly look away, focusing on the injury at hand.
Not his blood soaked, but nevertheless well defined pectoral muscles, nor the abs that my hands occasionally brush up against and know how hard they really are, and definitely not the trail of black hairs that lead down, down, down...
"What's wrong, the view too hot to focus on the work at hand?" He asks suggestively, raising his pierced brow, even in this state.
I'm quick to reply, having gotten used to his flirtatious remarks from the second I moved into his penthouse, "nope can't even see the view from that massive head of yours. Not to mention your permanent bed head."
He huffs out a laugh, then proceeds to flinch from the pain it must have caused.
"Stop moving, idiot. You're going to exacerbate the cut!" I say, quickly grabbing a damp towel and beginning to clean up his abdomen, whilst simultaneously pressing another rag to his wound to stop the bleeding.
“At least you admit that there is a hot view,” he says in his low voice, gazing at me from his position.
I simply roll my eyes.
No falling in love. That was the deal we had made on the day he offered me a place to stay in exchange for my services as a maid and apparently, a nurse. I cook, clean and basically keep the house running while this moron goes out and acts like the idiot he is. In my defense, dorms are expensive as hell, and his penthouse is nearby. Plus, I don't have to pay rent. It's a win-win situation.
But the feelings stirring up inside my heart might just ruin the dynamic we have going on and simultaneously take out a whole lot of cash out of my pocket.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Once his skin isn't completely saturated in blood, and the wound has (thankfully) stopped bleeding, I add some antiseptic onto a make-up pad and begin to dab at his wound, earning winces and slight grunts from the massive man.
"The cut looks deep, Kuroo. You need to go to the hospital," I say, worry lacing my tone as my eyebrows crease and earn yet another huffing laugh.
"Do you want me to rot in prison for the rest of my life?"
I roll my eyes at his response, deliberately dabbing just a little harder which earns me a yelp and an attempted glare in my direction.
"First off, illegal street racing won't send you to prison for your entire life, just for like, half a year. Second, this wound needs stitches, and believe it or not, I'm not a fucking licensed medic. In fact, the only experience I have is with you!" I say, immediately regretting my choice of words as I wait for his remark.
"That's what she said," He says, chuckling at his own innuendo.
I sigh in frustration, pouring more antiseptic to make sure there was no chance of infection from whatever grimy ass knife stabbed him, and beginning to gently scrub the wound with a soft towel, so as to make sure there was no debris left in there.
"You're gonna have ta do it," he mutters, his hazel eyes boring into mine.
"I- I can't Kuroo, you can't possibly think-"
"Fine. I'll do it. Go get me a needle and thread," he states, struggling but nevertheless, sitting upright on the red stained toilet.
I stare at Kuroo in disbelief as he utters these words. Was he dumber than I thought? Does he have some sort of head injury too?
I examine his face and all I come up with is unnerving determination. I exhale out of my nose sharply, "fine, dammit. I'll sew your fucking wound shut."
I am extremely handy with a sewing needle and thread, used to really be into embroidery back when I had the time so...it should be fine.
He just shrugs, leaning his head back against the tiles and closing his eyes.
"Fucking asshole. Can't believe I'm saving your damn life," I mutter, leaving the bathroom to dig through my wardrobe for my sewing box and taking out a gold silk thread that I was saving for a special project.
Well, I guess that will never happen.
"Hey, I found some silk thread. It's literally known for its strength and durability in high temperatures, so it should work like a charm!" I say, walking back into the blood stained bathroom and trying to psych myself up.
He grunts in response. I sigh as I begin with mopping up the excess blood and sanitising the needle and thread before chucking on gloves.
I wipe the antiseptic over the wound once more, and examine it carefully.
Well, if his condition worsens, I can always knock him out and call an ambulance...
I decide, screw it, and thread the needle, pretending it was just another embroidery project.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I chant as I puncture his skin with the thin needle.
Kuroo gasps in pain, and I place a hand on his knee, telling him to suck it up and deal with it, half talking to him but also to myself.
To my surprise, he listens, stretching his head back once more and gritting his teeth.
"Don't do that, here put this in-between your teeth," I say, grabbing yet another towel and shoving it into his mouth.
He obeys as I continue to stitch. I feel my gag reflex kicking in as I think about how stitching skin feels as though I am stitching leather, it feels hard and tough while pushing the thin needle through.
Must hurt like a bitch.
Once I've completed my neat stitches down the wound, without vomiting, I tie it off as I would with any embroidery, and clean the area free of any remaining blood. After rubbing some antibacterial ointment over the gold stitches, I stick on a particularly large bandage over the wound and start tidying up.
"Thank you," Kuroo mutters, still seated on the toilet seat and practically panting for breath.
"Ah, the criminal knows his damn manners!! Now get up and get in the damn shower. You ruined my pristine bathroom!" I complain, putting the last of the materials away before walking to the door.
"Wait, I- I can't get up." I turn around and look at him incredulously as he utters his next few words, "will you... shower me?"
My eyes just about pop out of their sockets at his request. "Are you insane?! I'm not your mother, nor your wife! Call your pudding haired friend and tell him to come shower you!"
He shakes his head, a rare pleading look taking the place of his usual arrogant smirk, "Kenma's too lazy to shower himself, Y/n, please!"
I contemplated it for a moment. Sure, I've seen him naked before, accidentally of course, and so what if I have to scrub him clean. God knows he can't do it himself with that damn injury.
Fuck this shit.
"Fine, get up right now." I bark at him, leaving to change out of my blood soaked pjs into a pair of shorts and a tank.
"...I just said I can't."
---
"Ow, y/n, you're scrubbing too hard!" He complains, his exfoliating glove around my hand as I rub his toned back clean of any dead skin-cells and blood remains.
"But look how much stuff is coming off!" I say gleefully, enjoying this a little too much.
Kuroo, seated on the built-in bench in the open shower with his red boxers on, looks back to see the satisfaction dripping from my features.
"Are you secretly a sadist?" he whispers. In response, I begin to rinse off his raw back with hot water, causing him to screech like a cat.
"It burns, it burns-”
“Shut the fuck up, moron! It's 4 in the morning, you’re going to annoy our neighbours. I tried very hard to get in their good graces, and Mrs. Suzuki still doesn’t like me! She definitely thinks I’m some kind of hooker…” Kuroo laughs at this, and I can’t help but watch as his whole face brightens up from his usual emotionless expression. I find myself smiling in response.
I grab his expensive shampoo and pour some into my hands, beginning to massage it into his scalp. With wet hair, his raven strands are for once flat on his head and reach down to his defined jawline. Kuroo groans under my touch, leaning into my fingers. I snatch my hands back and pour hot water over his head.
"ARGH! Y/N!" He screams, hastily getting up and wetting me in the process.
"Ah- what are you-" I don't get to finish my question as he grabs my arm and yanks me next to him under the hot water, soaking my clothes and my hair.
"You asshole!" I screech as I reach up to pull his hair in defiance, but he only grabs my arm and hooks it around his neck, leaning down to look directly into my eyes.
Our noses brushing against one another, he mutters, "You look pretty with your hair wet and your shirt see through."
It takes me a moment to get past the compliment and to hear the perverted comment that he just uttered.
He sees my look of confusion and laughs, bends over, clutches his stomach and laughs, before bellowing in pain because of his injury.
Smiling smugly down at him as he grimaces, I force him to sit back down and continue massaging the shampoo into his hair, warning him that if he so much as moaned I would leave him in here, dripping wet and in pain.
"That's what he said," is his reply.
I smack his head in response.
Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3
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roselen-mylady · 4 years ago
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the game
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"First one to kiss Thor wins." Wanda suggested. Y/n tried to hide her scoff but judging by Nat's elbow in her ribs, she hadn't been successful. "Come on, Y/n!" Wanda groaned, rubbing her forehead in frustration. 
"Oh, you come on! What? Are we going to play 'would you rather' after?" Y/n joked, earning yet another jab from Nat. The two red heads glared at her annoyed but Y/n didn't care as she took a sip of champagne.
Pepper had convinced Tony to hold another party in hopes of boosting the team's morale and while it wasn't the first time he'd done it, the parties were still enjoyable. Y/n couldn't help the enthusiasm and joy that came with drinking, dancing and mingling. Everyone came, at least everyone she knew, along with a hundred other people Tony knew. Even Peter had started to attend the last few parties, granted Tony only made him a frequent attendee once he'd reached 18.
The parties were fun, yes, but still being the drama and excitement addicts they were, Y/n and her closest friends craved the thrill of their little games. They played them at every party. The first was a simple game of truth or dare and the second had been the cliche spin the bottle. But with each gathering their dares and games grew more and more risky. And Y/n loved it. They all did.
But tonight was different.
Tonight was boring.
"You're just upset that Bucky didn't want to make out in the closet with you last time we played." Nat accused. A deep frown settled on Y/n's lips from the stab at her pride but she quickly waved off Nat's insult with a dismissing hand.
"That's because he knew I was drunk off my ass. I didn't really wanna make out with him either, he's my friend. You know what alcohol does to me." She argued, getting a short disbelieving nod from Wanda in return.
"Uh huh. Or maybe cause he knows you're into his best friend." Nat suggested, sipping her own drink with a smirk as she narrowly dodged Y/n's threatening hand. Wanda giggled at the interaction, knowing there was truth behind Nat's words. She had seen into Y/n's mind and her fondness toward Steve practically screamed back at her.
"I'm not into Steve. The man is too self righteous for his own good and you know I'm into bad boys." Y/n shrugged, her attempt at hiding her feelings becoming transparent in her friends' eyes.
Yet before either of them could argue further and perhaps bring up the kiss she almost shared with Steve during spin the bottle, Sam and Bucky arrived. "Who's into bad boys? You've come to the right place ladies, I'm the baddest of them all." Sam flashed a charming smile to which they all rolled their eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sam, but I think Bucky has you beat on bad boys." Y/n challenged, sending a playful wink toward the soldier. Sam gasped, mocking hurt while Bucky rolled his eyes rather unamused with the discussion.
"That's right, weren't you the second shooter in the JFK assassination? That's gotta be as bad as it gets." Nat commented causing a dark flush on Bucky's face. A short flash of guilt appeared on his face but he instantly brushed the comment off deciding not to dig into his cloudy memory for the truth. The second shooter was just a conspiracy theory anyways. But then again, so was the Winter Solider...
"What are you, a cop?" Bucky let out a strained chuckle, bringing his drink to his lips subtly trying to pull himself from the conversation. Y/n offered an apologetic smile and he returned it gratefully before she turned her gaze away.
Despite his closed off nature she'd actually become a sort of friend to Bucky and while at first it was rocky, she rather enjoyed her friendship with him. Through Bucky she heard stories about Steve when they were growing up and she saw another side of him that she wished she'd known.
"You ladies up to another game?" Sam questioned suddenly. Nat nodded sharing a look with Wanda but Y/n's focus had been drawn away. While lost in her thoughts about him, her gaze had drifted to the man of her fantasies and she shamelessly watched as he talked with Tony and another man she didn't care to remember.
He was smiling, a sight that she cherished even if he'd never notice. The blue of his eyes seemed to shine brighter than any fireworks she'd ever seen and her heart skipped a beat just looking at them. His blonde locks had grown out while she had been snapped away but not enough to make him appear drastically changed. In fact she wasn't sure if anyone else had really noticed. Maybe she was just a stalker.
"Well, we were going to play one but Y/n thinks it's not big enough." Wanda replied, giving Y/n a glare as she turned back to the group.
"Well, it wasn't. I feel like everyone's used to our shenanigans so there's no challenge." Y/n shrugged, peering at the others with a bored stare. Sam shook his head, refusing to let the tradition die.
"What did you guys have in mind?" He asked, looking over the three women as they glanced around the party.
"Wanda suggested a competition to see who could kiss Thor first." Nat explained. Bucky scrunched his nose in disdain at the dare, exchanging a exasperated look with Y/n.
"Thor would do anything, if you asked him." Sam sighed, drinking whatever liquor he had requested. Y/n remembered him saying something about woman being attracted to a man who can handle hard liquor but she had chosen to ignore him. Though she did have to admit it must've been hard for him to compete with both of his best friends being able to drink without the effects of the alcohol they consumed.
"That's what I thought! Thor would gladly abide anything if it made us happy. He's too kind for his own good." Y/n playfully rolled her eyes as they looked over to said god. He had slimmed down significantly during his time with the guardians and Y/n could almost swear that there wasn't an ounce of body fat left on the man. His hair had been cut as well, returning to his signature length and his beard had been trimmed down to a reasonable length. In other words, the Asgardian had almost every girl swooning once more.
But Y/n was swooning for another.
The same man she had for years.
"We could make it more of a challenge." Nat proposed. The group turned to her with interested eyes, the only one who hadn't seemed to match their intrigue being a very grumpy Bucky. "We could expand the dare to all Avengers. Unless you guys wanna be pussys and limit it only to men." Nat winked.
Wanda's face flushed at the suggestion and quickly shook her head. "I have a hard enough time kissing the people I've known for years let alone all the new Avengers." She squeaked. Sam chuckled nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, not that you guys are pussys I'm just saying that is a lot of people. That'll take forever. Let's just stick with Avengers pre-snap." Sam's laughter grew at Y/n and Nat's disappointed expressions, having reaped them of the extra challenge they'd been searching for.
"How about this?" He began realizing without a catch the game wouldn't be that much fun for any of them. "You have to get them to kiss you but only using cheesy ass pick up lines." Sam explained, looking rather proud of his game plan.
"What type of kiss?" Y/n questioned suspiciously.
"Any." A buzz of laughter and eagerness flooded over the girls and Y/n smirked knowing she'd been born for this challenge. "Are we all in agreement?" Sam asked looking to each for affirmations. Once everyone was on board they put their hands in the middle, a sort of ritual they had developed as a way to insure everyone's commitment.
But another presence had been added to their usual group and they turned to Bucky to see what he would do. He had never been on the scheming side of the games and usually was a victim but now he had a choice. Though he'd rather be removed from the plan all together he figured he'd might as well get it over with while he still knew what was happening.
"Yeah, alright but I'm not doing make outs. You guys do your lines or whatever, get your kiss, then I'm out." Bucky told them, putting his vibranium arm into the middle along with the rest. With childish grins on their faces they let their hands fall as Sam stepped forward.
"As per tradition, you all start off with a good luck kiss from moi." Sam explained, putting a dramatic hand over his chest as he turned to Wanda. She scoffed at his attempt at charm allowing him to peck her lips with a teasing smirk. Turning to Nat, he hesitated allowing her to quickly kiss him, learning the hard way that coming onto her was an easy way to get a black eye. The smack of her lipstick made Bucky shake his head, his 40s mindset unable to grasp how easily they'd all accepted the concept.
Sam then turned to Y/n, noticing the way she subtly glanced in the direction of Steve as his arm came around her waist. "Looking for someone? Cause your prince charming is right here." Sam flirted earning an eye roll from the woman before him.
"I thought we were supposed to do the crappy pick up lines." Y/n raised a brow, keeping a hand on his chest to get some distance.
"I said cheesy not crappy. I'm offended." He frowned playfully only to have it wiped off his face by the soft peck of her lips. She pulled away just as quick, slipping out of his hold and shaking her head.
"Oh, how will you ever recover?" She replied sarcastically, making the girls laugh quietly beside her. He smirked turning to Bucky.
"Alright, Buck. Let's get this show on the road." Sam announced patting Bucky's shoulder roughly as he urged him forward. Surprisingly Bucky seemed more nervous than he did annoyed so Y/n decided to take the lead this time, stepping closer to the brunette.
Deciding to keep it simple for Bucky's sake she trailed her fingers along his forearm, giving him a gentle smile. "Hey, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back." She spoke smoothly. Sam cackled behind them but Y/n paid no mind instead smiling back at Bucky as he chuckled softly, grateful she hadn't used one of the dirty lines he was sure she had.
Shaking his head he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of her lips. Though he made it seem like he was annoyed by the games he was forced into every party, he found Y/n made them more enjoyable, being one of his only friends.
"Go on. You better win since it's your fault I'm a part of this." He grumbled and Y/n laughed, nodding before running off to claim more lips.
On the other side of the room a certain blonde had caught sight of her, his eyes narrowing slightly in interest as Tony leaned closer to him. "I think Y/n's playing another one of those games. I swear that girl is going to be the death of me. Let's just hope Morgan stays innocent." Tony mumbled, bringing his glass to his lips as he surveyed Steve's expression.
"Yeah." Steve replied dully, his focus directed at the only girl in the room he couldn't keep his eyes off of. Tony smirked knowingly, deciding he'd allow Steve to ignore him just this once.
•••
Y/n had this in the bag.
Thanks to Sam she had a wide range of pick up lines to try out and she planned to use the right one with each.
The first person she recognized in the crowd was T'Challa and she made her way to him slyly, his gaze falling on her as the crowd parted. "Ah, Ms. Y/n. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He questioned, a bit of mistrust in his eyes when he recognized the smirk on her face.
"Just seeing how my favorite pussy cat is." Y/n replied with an innocent shrug. He squinted suspecting her ulterior motives. He'd been to enough of Tony's parties to know that she along with Nat and Wanda usually had some kind of game and while he was entertained by it he also knew he needed to maintain decency being a King.
"He is very happy you're here to make things interesting. He was just telling me about how boring this party was. Also he was telling me he should ask you when you're going to bring Peter to Wakanda, that boy won't get off my back." Shuri spoke up, stepping closer to the pair with a pleased smirk. T'Challa didn't seem to share her amusement but knew most of what she had said was true.
"Well, you'll be happy to know that I have to be in Wakanda next week, I'll see if he's free to tag along." Y/n replied, turning her gaze to the spider boy. He still seemed to follow Tony around like a lost puppy but Y/n hoped maybe their field trip to Wakanda would break him out of his shell.
"Would it be wishful thinking if I hoped your visit to our kingdom is the only reason for your presence now?" T'Challa questioned. Shuri and Y/n laughed answering his question. There was another game going on. "What's the challenge now? Let me guess, I should be expecting Ms. Romanoff and Ms. Maximoff next?"
"More than likely. But there's a twist this time." Y/n explained, noticing the bit of curiosity in his eye as she sipped her drink. "If you like my pick up line, you have to give me a kiss."
Shuri giggled next to them excited to hear whatever line Y/n had planned. The young princess was always up for some mischief especially if her brother was the victim and this was what made her adore Y/n so much.
"And what if I don't?"
"I'll just have to try again, I suppose. You know how persistent I am." Y/n winked. T'Challa shook his head, catching sight of Wanda across the room having already collected her kiss from Thor. With a silent sigh, he turned back to Y/n figuring he'd best not hold her up any longer.
"Fine." Y/n smiled, locking eyes with Shuri for a moment before turning back to T'Challa. She stepped forward, the soft click of her heels sending a chill down his spine as she put a hand on his upper arm. Her lips curved into a smile and he braced himself for the line that seemed to bring her so much pride.
"Meow you doin'?" Y/n smirked, her voice smooth as velvet as her eyes stared into his. Laughter erupted from his sister and he turned to her as Y/n burst out into her own fit of giggles.
"I don't get it." T'Challa told them, dumbly trying to use the little bit of context he was given to understand the joke.
"Oh, brother! As soon as we return home we are watching Friends! Now give her a kiss so that she may have a chance at winning!" Shuri spoke through laughs. T'Challa shook his head but lifted Y/n's hand nonetheless and placed a soft kiss to her knuckles.
"I feel cheated." He grumbled but the laughter from both girls was enough to take his mind off the pick up line that went straight over his head.
"Pleasure doing business with you, King T'Challa." Y/n curtsied before turning away to find her next victim, leaving T'Challa and Shuri with entertained smiles.
Next on her list was Bruce Banner, the most lost out of all of the men who had experienced the game. The first time they decided to target just one person, he had been the focus and while he enjoyed Nat's kiss, Y/n and Wanda following in the act seemed to put him in a daze for a week.
"You got T'Challa right off that bat? Sometimes I hate how good you are at this." Nat's voice cut into Y/n's thoughts as the two stood together surveying Bruce.
"There's nothing to it, my friend. Give a line, get a kiss. It's science. Did you already get Clint?" Y/n questioned, trying to see where she was at as far as the competition went.
Nat shook her head softly, glancing over at the other men they'd still needed to kiss. "No. He's not here. He says he wants us to take his retirement seriously so until then he won't be at the parties, I guess." She explained and Y/n nodded quietly. One less guy to convince, she reasoned.
"You know I'll never get used to his transformation thing." Y/n commented, gesturing toward Bruce with a nod. Nat followed her gaze, leaning into Y/n to see past the crowd of people in front of her.
"Yeah, me either." She replied. Y/n's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she glanced at Nat through the corner of her eye but ultimately decided it wasn't something she really desired to question further.
"You better save your best pick up line for Steve." Nat warned, the smile on her lips all too knowing for Y/n's liking. Her mouth ran dry and the familiar rush upon hearing his name coursed through her making her face burn.
"For the last time, I'm not into-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Too bad though. He's been watching you ever since the game started." Nat whispered, turning Y/n's head in his direction with a poke to her chin.
The red on Y/n's face grew darker at the sight of Steve looking back at her, his eyes locking with hers over the rim on his glass. A soft shade of pink settled on his cheeks to match her own and his gaze faltered before returning to the man he'd been talking to.
"Save the best for last." Nat teased softly as Y/n turned back to her. She tried to brush off Nat's words as she stalked off toward Bruce but she couldn't get the image of Steve out of her mind.
Had he ever looked at her like that before? Was she losing her mind?
A long sigh escaped her as she tried desperately to focus on racking her brain for any science puns she had.
"Y/n! Hey, long time no see!" He cheered, pulling her into a side hug. The laughter that bubbled out of her chest was involuntary as she practically disappeared under his good arm.
"It's nice to see you too, Bruce. How's the arm?" Y/n questioned gesturing to the cast that seemed to be permanent on the larger than life limb. Bruce offered a tentative shrug, looking down at it.
"Tony and I aren't sure if it's ever going to heal. He's been looking at the possibility of getting a prosthetic but I don't really mind it. We beat Thanos, that's all that really matters to me." He replied. Y/n smiled kindly at him, putting her hand on the cast as her fingers trailed Steve's signature. She couldn't help the racing of her heart when she realized he'd signed right below her own.
"So, Nat tells me you guys are doing another game. Why do you guys do that anyways? Don't you get embarrassed?" He asked, genuinely interested. Whatever Nat had told him seemed to make him more aware and Y/n found herself open to his questions.
"I don't know. I trust everyone on the team so kissing them isn't a big deal. If anything I think it makes us more open to one another. Not to mention half of us are touch starved and probably need a kiss every so often." She laughed thinking back to her poor Bucky.
Bruce laughed too, "Well, maybe next party you'll find a way to get everyone to play. That'll be a sight." He chuckled imagining everyone competing against one another in some intimate game. Y/n nodded perhaps taking the suggestion maybe a bit too seriously.
"Maybe...I've gotta win this game first though. I'm sure you know the rules." She raised a playful brow and crossed her arms. He nodded remembering Nat's line with a loving smile. "Good. Let's see."
Her hand rose to her chin, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as she thought. Bruce watched with a entertained smile as her eyes lit up before looking back at him.
"Hey, baby. If you were an enzyme I'd be a DNA synthase so I could unzip your genes." She nudged Bruce's side making him laugh.
"That was the worst." He chuckled and Y/n laughed as well, nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, but you laughed so..." He nodded wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head, the most accessible spot from his outrageous height.
"I'm gonna remember that one." Bruce told her, his head bobbing unconsciously as he already began practicing the line in his head. Y/n bowed proudly before disappearing into the crowd once more.
"Who's next?" She mumbled to herself, running her hands along her dress, absentmindedly flatting the bunching in the fabric. The dress had been her favorite, hugging her perfectly as many of the tailored clothes Pepper sent her did. But this one was different.
This one was blue. But not just any blue. It was the same dark navy Steve wore on every mission. A color she found herself buying more often, whether it be on a folder or on a dress. She was almost attracted to it as much as she was to Steve and while it seemed a little silly, it made her happy knowing she could express her hidden feelings through little things such as that. She truly was head over heels but she could never tell him that. She could never risk the rejection she feared she'd be met with if she dared make a move.
So she loved him from afar.
•••
"Oh no. Not pick up lines." Tony groaned next to Steve, his eyes nearly disappearing into the back of his head as he rolled them. Sam chuckled, nodding his head.
"It's true. Everyone is going to get hit on in the most undesired way possible tonight." He grinned, his lips still buzzing from the kisses he'd recieved.
"Yeah, you have bird brain here to thank for that." Bucky grumbled from Steve's left. Sam frowned, glaring at the semi stable hundred year old man.
"That's not what you said when you kissed Y/n." He retorted.
Steve tried to fight the jealousy that boiled in his gut but Bucky had already noticed the frown that reached his best friend's face.
"Only because I want her to win. She's my friend." Bucky explained, hoping his emphasize on 'friend' would put Steve at ease but the super soldier would never truly be at ease unless he had her in his arms.
He'd lost so much over the years including her and now that he had it all back-had her back, it felt wrong that they weren't together like he hoped. But he couldn't just tell her. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he lost her in a way that no infinity stones could reverse?
"Personally I'm rooting for Wanda. That girl's smile would make you wanna kiss her. Not to mention her mind control stuff." Sam argued, using his hand to mimick Wanda's powers.
"Is this going to happen at every party?" Fury remarked from behind them making them turn to him, some with annoyed glances.
"You're not allowed to say anything about this, 'Mr. Off-Limits'." Sam proclaimed, feeling a tad responsible for keeping Fury out of the games. Especially after what happened last time.
"I won't be forced to partake in childish games like that. Y/n had it coming." Fury explained, any remorse he might've felt long gone.
Steve crossed his arms, his shirt tightening around his arms as he tried to bite his tongue. "You nearly broke her arm." He suddenly spoke up. Sam's suggestive smirk made him regret it instantly but thankfully Sam chose not to say anything.
"Gotta admit. Her resolve is pretty firm. It's actually pretty hot." Sam wiggled a brow at Steve. The poor blonde wanted to curl up and die in shame but Sam wasn't wrong.
Perhaps it was her determination and strong will that had attracted him. They were characteristics he was known for as Captain America but yet somehow her will was more powerful than his own.
It was one of the many things that he had loved her for. And one of the things that kept him going during the five years without her.
"Ugh. Can we please not talk about my niece like this?" Tony groaned, hating the idea of them sexualizing the girl he'd practically raised since she was a teen. Steve agreed, unsure how much longer he'd be able to stand them talking about her.
"Ooo, look. She's onto Thor now." Peter piped up pointing a finger toward Y/n as she made her way to the golden haired god. Yet the warning glare he received from Tony was enough to make him quiet again and he silently sunk back into the crowd behind them.
"I've got too many kids."
•••
"Thor!" Y/n cheered. Upon hearing his name, the Asgardian turned returning her smile with a brilliant grin. The flask in his hand was opened yet there was no flush to his face signaling he was either only mildly buzzed or close to it.
"Lady Y/n. I was beginning to wonder when you'd come around. I do cherish our time together." Thor's smile was kind and radiant but she couldn't help but think there was still one smile that could outshine even that of a god's.
"Oh, you know I'd never miss a kiss from you." Y/n returned the charm, allowing his arm to come around her waist, resting at a comfortable distance from her hips. Thor had been the most accepting of their games and never seemed to go through the confusion that the rest did. Or maybe that was just her.
"I was just telling Valkyrie of your little games. She finds them truly amusing. Perhaps I'll convince you to accept her into the tournament." Thor explained, gesturing the hand holding his flask toward Valkyrie.
"Well, it's not exactly a tournament, just a little fun to keep things interesting. You're welcome to join if you're up for it." Y/n smiled, offering a small nod of acceptance toward the warrior woman.
"A competition among women where men are the victims? Sounds like my kind of crowd." Valkyrie replied, an excited smile landing on her lips as the two woman shared a look of mutual approval.
"Wonderful." Thor praised, the joy in his tone seeming to radiate off of him, infecting Y/n with each passing second she was in his grasp. "Now Lady Wanda spoke of this night's challenge. I believe you have a suggestive comment in which to lift me yes?" He spoke, looking down at Y/n as she began to giggle uncontrollably.
"Yes, Thor. In return for the pick up line, I get a kiss. But only if you enjoy it." She recited the rules earning a heartfelt smile from him in return.
"If it is spoken by you I'm bound to enjoy it." He told her earnestly. There was something in the way he would speak that made a girl's knees weak and while Y/n was able to withstand it better than most, she wondered if he was striving for that reaction from her.
Y/n shook her head at him, giving him a half-hearted glare as she looked up at him. "Alright, here it goes." She warned him, taking his attentive gaze as a confirmation to continue.
"Hey, gorgeous. Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes." Before Y/n could even offer a wink or a smirk, thunderous laughter sounded from the man beside her, drawing the attention of everyone around them.
A flush of pink bloomed on her face, slightly embarrassed under the eyes of so many, especially Steve, yet she wasn't able to dwell on it for long as she was swept up into the air. Ever the enthusiast, Thor had excitedly boosted her into the air and spun her before allowing her feet to reach the ground again, a little unsteadily from how fast he'd acted.
"You've certainly lifted me, Lady Y/n." Thor told her, bringing her smile back as she regained her balance. "Are you ready for your kiss now?" He inquired, his hand resting comfortably on her waist as he insured she was still willing to welcome a kiss.
With a small nod she leaned up accepting his lips in a teasing yet modest kiss not unlike the one they'd shared before. They pulled away a moment later, smiling at each other as Thor's hand easily slipped away from her waist.
"I'm afraid I must send you off in order for you to return victorious." Thor said, a hint of reluctance in his tone yet in a taunting way similar to friendly banter.
"And that I shall. I'm the best, you know." Y/n declared. Valkyrie laughed beside her, lifting her own glass toward Y/n in a sort of cheers.
"For now. We'll see next time who's the best." Y/n clinked her empty glass with Valkyrie's nodding respectfully as she made a note to get more champagne.
"May the best woman win." Y/n smirked, oblivious to the eyes on her as she walked off toward the bar.
Part Two
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azulafangligo · 5 years ago
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I know it's a bit late, but I wanted to share another story for @azulaweek . It's for day 4. I was happy to be part of Azula week for the first time and I'm looking forward to participating next year. Stay flamin :))
A mother's love
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This story takes place about a week before the flashbacks in Zuko Alone
Everyone in the Royal Palace was sleeping at this late hour, except Ursa. She couldn't sleep a wink. She tried really hard to fall asleep, but to no avail.
It was a warm night in the Fire Nation. The moon shone high on a cloudless, black sky.
The princess left her bedroom with a candle in her hand, walking through the empty, dark corridors of the palace toward the kitchen to drink a cup of water. She could have ordered a servant to bring to bring her some water, but she didn't want to wake anyone up and start a commotion. Besides, she didn't like ordering others around. Ursa respected the people who served her and her family, but she didn't like relying on them for every little thing and exploit them, even though most would argue it was their job. It just didn't seem right and she wasn't comfortable with it.
As Ursa got closer to the kitchen, she entered the corridor with Azula's and Zuko's rooms. She passed by Zuko's room quietly, but when she was a few meters away from Azula's, she heard a creaking sound as the door was slowly opened. She stopped as she saw her daughter walking out of her room while rubbing her eyes and closing the door behind her. Azula spun around to see her mother after she noticed the candle light. She looked startled, but also tired, having small dark circles under her eyes which had been half open until she saw her mother. She was now facing Ursa wide-eyed.
"I was just going back to my room," Azula said after a few seconds, putting her hand back on the door handle.
Ursa looked at her, worried.
"Are you alright, Azula?" she asked.
"Yes. I just wanted to drink some water," she said, annoyed. Even though she was obviously tired, she seemed in a rush to get away from her mother. This saddened Ursa. She really loved her and cared about her, but she knew she wasn't always doing the best job of showing her that. She tried hard to be a good mother for both Azula and Zuko, but her husband made that very difficult.
She stepped closer to Azula and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Come on, tell me what's wrong," she said gently. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No, I already told you, mom. I was thirsty. Now I'll go back to sleep," Azula said coldly. She looked away from Ursa and folded her arms. "Since when do you care about me anyway? Don't you have to worry about Zuko? Or you're here just because he doesn't need you right now and you want to make sure I don't get into trouble?" Azula said acidly.
"Azula, I love you and I care about you. I know I don't show it to you enough, but I'm doing my best for you and your brother. I want to help you if something's bothering you. You don't have to keep it to yourself. You can tell me. " Ursa smiled encouragingly at her, urging her to say what was on her mind.
Her mother didn't usually speak like this to her. She was always so busy giving Zuko all the attention that she neglected her.
Azula stood there for a second. She couldn't sleep all night. It was really frustrating and she wasn't sure what to do. She thought maybe a breath of fresh air and a few minutes in the gardens would help, but her mom came out of nowhere and she had to go back to her room now. Azula didn't have anything to say to her and just wanted to go to bed and be left alone. She'd be fine just by herself and she'd fall asleep eventually. It's horrible. I just want to sleep, but I can't. I hate this and I don't need her. I never did and I never will. She was about to go back to her room, but she thought how she'll stay in her bed for hours, struggling to catch some sleep, all alone. As much as Azula wanted to avoid her mother, she admitted trying again to sleep would be really hard and unpleasant. Maybe even more unpleasant than spending time with the woman that, no matter what Azula did, wouldn't appreciate her and would only criticize her and complain how she was mean to her favourite child. Azula didn't know why her mother pretended to care now and there was nothing she could do to help anyway, but it was better to tell her the truth instead of being all alone. This is probably a bad decision and I might end up regretting it, but here we go.
"I can't fall asleep. I've been trying for hours, but I can't," Azula told Ursa.
"It happens sometimes. I can't sleep either. Would you like us to go to the garden for a while?" Ursa said.
Azula looked away again. She still wasn't sure she wanted to be in her presence. It wasn't nice to be mom's least favourite child, but she had no trouble with that. Azula didn't need anyone. She did great just by herself. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to go for a walk outside, since she wanted to do that anyway. However, even though at first she would have preferred to be alone, perhaps it'd be good to have some company.
"Alright," she said.
Ursa smiled at her again.
"Come on," the princess said, a hint of joyfulness in her voice.
As they entered the garden, Azula felt the gentle wind on her skin. It was warm and pleasant outside. The bright stars were sparkling on the dark sky. She looked at the scenery overhead for a few moments.
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Ursa asked.
"I guess," Azula replied in a neutral voice.
They walked a few meters to the pond and set down. Minutes passed without either of them saying anything. Azula looked at her reflection in the water. In the darkness, she barely saw the dark circles under her eyes, but they were there. She frowned. I ought to get some sleep, but the problem is I don't feel tired at all. She looked tired though, because she struggled to sleep and she could see it in her face.
After sometime, Ursa finally began speaking.
"I'm sorry I haven't been a good mother. I haven't given you enough attention and I haven't told you how much I love you enough times. It's just… It's hard to raise two kids at the same time-"
"Yes, because I'm so mean and horrible and Zuko is so great," Azula cut her off.
"Azula, I never said that."
"But you mean it," her daughter replied, looking her in the eye.
"I don't. I know I left you the impression I prefer him over you, but that's not true. You're both amazing children and I love you equally. I admit I spent more time with him, but that's because your father isn't giving him any attention."
"Don't blame father," Azula said infuriated. "If Zuko would be good enough to deserve his love he'd get it. He doesn't deserve your love either."
Ursa was surprised and outraged that Azula spoke like that about her brother. She opened her mouth to tell her how awful it was to treat Zuko that way, but stopped, feeling her anger dissipate. It was mean to say something like that, but Azula only thought these things because she didn't feel loved enough. That was why she wanted to be better than Zuko at everything-so she'd be appreciated by her parents. Ozai had a very bad influence on her. He turned her against Zuko and made her see him and everyone who wasn't perfect as a failure. Azula was a wonderful child and the only thing her father did was give her bad examples, cultivate negative thoughts and feelings inside her and turn her into a competitive and hateful person. He had too many expectations and put too much pressure on her and, to be honest, he didn't even love her. It hurt Ursa to admit this, but it was true. Ozai loved neither of his kids nor anyone else in his family. He didn't even love Ursa. They had an arranged marriage just so he and Azulon could be in control of Avatar Roku's bloodline. But this wasn't about her. It was about Azula. She needed to know her mother cared about her and was proud of her.
"Azula, I'm sorry your father has so many expectations and induces you to feel so much anger and hate. I know it's very frustrating, but I'm here for you."
"What are you talking about? Dad's great and he teaches me to be the best. How is that bad?" Azula said, but a hint of doubt made its way into her mind. She hated to admit it, but sometimes she got tired and it became hard to catch her breath struggling to be the perfect child. I am perfect, I shouldn't listen to her. Dad wants what's best for me. He wouldn't have so many expectations if he didn't think I am up to the challenge. It's his way of showing how capable he thinks I am to do anything I have to. Azula wanted to believe these things, she really did, but she couldn't dismiss the thought that her mother was right. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself mom just wanted her to be nice to Zuko, she couldn't. Something in her voice, in her eyes told Azula she actually… cared. She was angry to think this stuff about dad, but, deep down, she knew it to be true. This made her really angry and also sad.
"I shouldn't have let him influence you like this. I know you're suffering and it's exhausting to try to be flawless everyday. I let you down, Azula, but I'll make it up to you," Ursa said, putting her hand on Azula's.
Azula didn't want to say anything bad about her father. She loved him and he loved her, but, for the first time in her life, she felt the need to say what was on her mind. She just couldn't hold back her thoughts, regardless of how much she tried. She felt weak and miserable and she despised it. I… I've never seen mom like this. It's the first time she actually wants to talk to me and know how I feel. She actually seems to be honest…
Azula slid her hand from under Ursa's. Then, she put her head in her hands, staring blankly at the pond.
"Sometimes it's… really hard. I do my best to please dad, but it's never enough," Azula said.
Ursa than unexpectedly hugged her tightly. Azula stared in surprise for a couple of seconds before she embraced her mother as well.
"I think you're great the way you are. You don't need to prove anything to me. I love you so much and I'll prove that to you more often," Ursa promised.
"Thanks, mom," Azula whispered.
They let go and just sat there in silence. Azula didn't know how much time they spent at the pond. It might have been minutes or hours, she had no idea. However, as time passed by, Azula gradually lost awareness of her surroundings. She was unable to concentrate on anything as the sight before her eyes became blurry. Soon, it was very hard to keep her eyes open. Her eyelashes slowly closed, everything turning black as she finally drifted off to sleep. Azula propped her body against her mother's arm.
Ursa gently put her hands around her daughter's waist and placed her on her lap.
In the few remaining seconds of consciousness before Azula fell asleep, she felt her mother gently caress her on the top of her head. This brought a smile on her face as she felt really calm and relaxed, but also happy.
Mom loves me after all… she thought.
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the-fiction-witch · 4 years ago
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By Firelight
TV SHOW WOLF HALL
COUPLE RAFE X READER
RATING SMUT
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I stood watching the grey clouds move across the haunting sky, the sound of the wind in the trees, the cold crisp air against my skin. I stood beside my master waiting above the arrival of a far off lord and his new bride, soon enough the sounds of horseshoes grew louder as the staff and lord approached the horses all had staff members for their time here and within the covered carriage I imagine the lord and lady.
It pulled up close up us stopped abruptly and the door quickly opened revealing the lord himself he stepped out fixing his clothes coming to greet my master
"Cromwell, I do believe you've got old and grey"
"Lord Peterson I do believe you've got fat" he laughs back
"Well when one has nothing to do but fuck a pretty new wifey can you blame me" he smirked "speaking off" he smirked offering a hand back to the carriage and out stepped a woman, 
She was shorter than me, with very wide hips even taking into account her dress, the top of her breasts exposed, her skin smooth and flawless, her face like a beautiful statue as if she was carved perfectly of marble and the. Brought magical to life I looked away knowing my place and knowing she was his property 
"She's very beautiful, young if I'm not mistaken?"
"Almost the age of your ward" he boasts "I had always wanted a lofty young bride" he smirked wrapping his arms around her waist "come we have much to discuss, have your ward boy make sure my wifey doesn't get up to any trouble" he smirked 
"Of course," Cromwell nodded looking at me and I nodded back glancing at this woman she seemed… I don't know, excited.
Cromwell and the lord headed inside as did many of the staff I offered her my arm and she happily took it letting me lead her inside
"Anywhere specific you wanted to go my lady?" I asked her nervously
"Somewhere warm, and private Master Sadler" she answered sweetly
"Yes my lady" I nodded, I took her to our small library going to start a fire as this room is barely used so doesn't get very warm, once it got going I noticed she had sat on the rug by the fire with some books her dress around her gracefully I sat close to her but not too close, we read and chatted politely about this and that, politics of the world and such like until after a good while so much the window was showing the darkness of the twilight evening, the only light on this dark little library was the constant flickering of the fire, the red and orange dancing across the bookshelves our shadows dancing like demons on the walls behind us as she plaid with the leather binding of a book within her hands 
"He's not as playful as you think" she laughed
"How so my lady?" I asked a little confused what she was talking about
"The lord, he barely speaks with me at home, let alone anything else" 
"Why is that?"
"I honestly don't know, I rather believe he doesn't like me"
"I'm sure he cares for you my lady, perhaps he just worries"
"I remain a maiden, even though my flower blooms" she said making me stop a moment Unsure how to reply to such a statement "he leaves his lady to hunt or to meet with people, not once has he joined me in my bed, leaving me always so unsatisfied" she says I could feel my breath get unsteady just hearing those words from her "you know how that feels too don't you master Sadler" she smiled moving gently to rest her head on my shoulder smiling up at me 
"I uhh I do my lady, I have never had a woman share my bed, I have never felt any satisfaction, but I cannot compare such complains to you my lady" 
"You could always satisfy yourself with me" she smiled
"I uhh I'm sorry my lady" I blushed 
"Well everyone believes that I am no longer a maid, and yet I am, we are both unsatisfied" she suggested
"Ooohh I uhh… I couldn't my lady, your- you're married" I stuttered "and I uhh well I umm"
"Wouldn't you want to?" She asks sweetly resting her hand atop my own her skin soft and smooth 
"Well I uhh" I stuttered "of course I do, if you wanted me to… I'd make love to you my lady" I admit 
"Come on then" she smirked tugging my hand so I moved closer to her 
"Uhh I don't know where we could go my lady" I told her 
"Why would we need to go anywhere" she smiled getting up kissing my head she went to the door locking it and going throwing another log on the fire before she sat back on the rug she smiled pulling my hand to the ties on her corset I blushed a little harder tugging at the ties a little she smiled and laid down on the rug pulling me down on top of her she giggled a little pulling the skirt of her dress to her waist leaving her legs completely exposed my breath became unsteady from my nerves and my excitement she put her hands on the wooden floor above her head as I began to untie my pants, she looked as excited as me I moved a little so my hands where on the rug either side of her waist moving to hover over her
"I uhh I'm sorry I've never done it before, I'll uhh I'll be as gently as I can" I blushed 
"It's alright neither have I remember," she smiled making me smile a little too I moved trying to push inside her but I wasn't in the right place I think I poked her leg, then I tried again but that was wrong I was really really too low that time I moved again and slipped Inside her gently I bit my mouth trying not to moan but she moaned almost in shock "ooohh Master Sadler, I never imagined you'd be so big" she smiled 
"I uhhh I umm I can't explain you my lady, I've never felt something so beautiful, so cosy in my life" I told her slowly starting to move myself back and forth it felt so good, so unbelievably amazing I never wanted to stop for the rest of my life I just wanted to be inside her, we were both moaning a lot but trying to stay a little quieter trying not to alert anyone to what it was were doing in here I moved her legs so they wrapped around me so we could get even closer moving faster and faster.
The darkness outside the window the sound of owls in a few trees outside the house, the darkness flooded into the room. The books covering almost every surface, the fire roaring up the chimney burning thought the logs, the orange and red light dancing across the walls and floor, the candles we lit providing small pockets of light for us to see our way around, the soft rug against our skin as we moved faster and faster unable to stop ourselves.
I felt her tightening around me and she put her hand over her mouth to stop her screaming as she came around me tightening so much on me which made me hit my own spilling my seed deep inside her moaning likely a little louder then I should have done, my hips bucking erratically I side her gasping for breath as she sighed happily as I pulled out and she sat up as I sat holding myself up trying not to fall 
"Ummm Master Sadler, I might have to take you home with me, be my little bed bug" she smirked 
"Well I'm not sure your husband would like that" I blushed 
"He'll have to live with it" she smirked 
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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago
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James & Ava
James: [so obviously all through this party whenever we can we're saying thanks/love you/sorry etc at relevant points via little touches but there hasn't been much time with all the kid chaos & we gotta use our words now] James: Thank you Ava: Don't mention it, I had a good time Ava: think the girls did too 😌 James: because of you James: which is why I had to mention it Ava: It's okay, making cupcakes and crafts was bound to be more fun than my history essay Ava: easy choice, really Ava: how are you now? apart from exhausted James: still astonished that Teddy helped to clear up, even though your cousin did most of it Ava: it's amazing what a boy will do to keep a girl happy, right James: whatever you're hinting at, I'll do it Ava: 😱 do you think I'm that sort of girl?! 😂 James: I don't think I'm exhausted enough to fall into the trap of such a clearly trick question Ava: Then maybe you didn't party/clean hard enough 🤔 James: I'll happily send you evidence of me scrubbing the bath until it's less blue if you like James: but somehow I doubt that is what you're contemplating Ava: An interesting proposition Ava: but who decided baths had to be white anyway Ava: I say keep it James: hopefully whoever rents this place after we've gone will agree with you Ava: I'll bring 'round the spare bicarb, that'll work James: there'll be some in the cupboard, from all the baking recipes Jay's school sends insisting she needs it Ava: I guess I'll have to think of another excuse to come see you soon then James: wanting to is enough Ava: I'd have to be a fool to not want that James: though after today, less so James: I'm very sorry about my family Ava: They aren't your fault James: nevertheless James: & speaking of excuses, my sister told me she's pregnant again as one for her behaviour before I could properly challenge her for it Ava: Oh that's a shame, I could have implied she was just fat by asking Ava: but no, really Ava: I can handle it, it's not as if my family are particularly supportive about us either James: you'll have other chances before her official announcement, I'm sure Ava: not my style Ava: it'll be nice, for the girls to have more cousins their age James: but to hear her speak, there's already a very distinct possibility that this child has surpassed every single one of their age appropriate milestones whilst in utero Ava: 🙄 Ava: if anything that just means more pain on the way out, no Ava: not that underdone is the preference but you know James: she'll have scheduled the caesarean the moment there was evidence of a pink line Ava: guess she's confident in her ab-building post-baby workout then James: confidence has never been lacking as far as she's concerned Ava: I can tell Ava: like your dad, like you said James: yes Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that they tried to...whatever they were attempting to do, or if it was even intentional behaviour Ava: but I think the party still went well where it mattered James: there isn't a single thing for you to apologise for James: it did go well Ava: I'm not trying to add more tension or friction to proceedings when it already comes so naturally James: you didn't, in fact, by being there you managed to diffuse it James: I would have been a lot more stressed had you not been Ava: Good Ava: and she didn't show up Ava: so what more could we ask for James: my parents & sister following suit perhaps James: but that won't be much to ask once we move further than a stone's throw out of their shadow Ava: leaving the postcode for less than Monaco? Ava: unlikely Ava: I keep looking at places Ava: everything goes so fast, it's crazy, by the time I go to send the link, it's gone James: I've secured a viewing after work for the day after tomorrow, if you're free you're more than welcome to come James: [sends her a link] Ava: Wow, that's so exciting Ava: are you excited James: I'm cautiously optimistic Ava: That's such a you way to put it 😊 James: oh is it? Ava: Yes Ava: I like it James: I like that you're unabashed in your excitement Ava: You deserve exciting things to be happening Ava: there's nothing better than a new place for a fresh start James: if it were that simple, I'd agree with you that nothing could be better Ava: No, I know Ava: new floors and four walls doesn't fix everything Ava: but it is something you CAN do Ava: along with all the things you already are, and continue to do James: I want you to be right, but I can't help but feel that it's just a new location to hide in, because of all the things I can't change Ava: You aren't the one that ran away Ava: and no one can say that Ava: but you're better, even without the comparison to her which leaves you looking practically saint-like James: only because there is no amount of distance I can put between your brother & I which would alter the facts or the future as it is shaping up to be Ava: he's being so Ava: stubborn and stupid James: all day my thoughts kept circling back to the idea that this time next year everything could be different James: she might not be here James: I don't know what to do Ava: That won't happen Ava: we won't let it James: you wanting it to be a promise you can make or me wanting what you're saying to be true might not be enough James: I know how stubborn he is Ava: that doesn't mean that he can make a judge agree with him Ava: neither does the fact he's training to do as much Ava: you've raised her, you're her dad James: that alone doesn't mean I can guarantee anything either James: while raising her I've made a lot of mistakes Ava: no Ava: not nowhere near enough or the type that warrants anyone taking her away James: you didn't know me before rehab Ava: neither did my brother Ava: who's he going to call as a character witness, Chloe? James: he did, but I'll admit that the past is less of a pressing concern right now compared to the struggle of the present James: & the ease of getting wasted Ava: Hardly Ava: what kind of friend was he by that point Ava: he didn't tell you that Chloe had told him he was the father before you, did he? Ava: he has no room to judge, on any level Ava: he still does worse James: regardless, I can't blame him for judging me James: because I don't think there's worse than the things I consider doing whenever there's the briefest moment such as this, when they're asleep James: recovery is constant & truly exhausting Ava: Maybe you can't, but I can Ava: exactly Ava: it shows strength of character Ava: I'm just saying, if he takes it there, which, I'd hope not but no, I can't even pretend to promise that right now Ava: he can't be throwing around those sort of accusations like he's got nothing that would look worse under scrutiny James: it's a weakness of character James: & I don't want my flaws to extend to driving any kind of wedge between you & your brother James: or to have to expose any of his, irrespective of what they are James: being free of her finally means I no longer have to play any of those games Ava: admitting and dealing with it isn't Ava: I know Ava: it's horrible to think about, especially when it is so soon after she left, and how that has barely registered Ava: but if you have to, you'll do whatever you need to, right Ava: I mean, as long as it doesn't hurt her, then you have to James: I don't want to do anything that hurts you either Ava: It's not about me though James: he's your brother Ava: That doesn't mean I'm going to endorse his bad choices Ava: not for an easy life Ava: and not at the expense of yours, or Jay's, of course James: they aren't choices any of us should have to make Ava: no, we shouldn't Ava: but he has to be on board with that too Ava: he can't rush and force what he thinks he wants, without any regard for the rest Ava: just because the whole situation was fucked from the start James: he wants to meet her, I keep saying no Ava: Have you told her anything yet? Ava: Not saying 'yet' like you need to or there's a timescale here, you know what I'm trying to ask James: if there were a right time, it wouldn't be now James: she's coping well with her mother's absence but she's nevertheless having to cope James: I'm not going to give her something else to contend with until circumstances change, whether that's because of your brother or a more positive development Ava: Totally Ava: it's a lot already Ava: he should be thinking the same way James: he seems to, when we speak about it James: I can't blame him for wanting to get to know her though James: clearly that's my dad bias but anyone who doesn't is missing out Ava: she's a good kid James: you're good with her & for her James: I can't remember the last time she was as happy as she's been over the last few days Ava: that makes me happy too James: oh good, because I haven't yet asked how you are James: I'm sorry Ava: don't be James: it's important James: my family believes I see you as an unpaid problem solver & I have no desire to prove them right to any degree Ava: you know that I know that that's not how it is though Ava: I understand, you've got way too much going on in your head right now to be too concerned with the pleasantries Ava: I can do without James: just because you can doesn't mean you should James: this matters to me, you, us James: we're not an us if it's just me using you as a sounding board Ava: You don't Ava: and I know it matters because you wouldn't trust me with any of this if it didn't Ava: you've been there for me whenever I've needed you too, my problems are just smaller scale, on the whole Ava: doesn't make it one-sided James: okay James: as long as you know Ava: I promise Ava: I wouldn't hate some alone time with you soon though James: how soon can you do? Ava: I have to go to Dublin this weekend Ava: but Thursday I don't have any afternoon lessons, so if you could do something then? James: I'll pick you up James: if necessary I'll do extra work when you're in Dublin Ava: you're so lovely James: no, I missed you the second you left, that's all Ava: I missed you too Ava: not being able to talk properly Ava: I hate that about parties James: me too James: but you were a vision in your party outfit Ava: you think so? Ava: you can be a monster again any time you like 😋 James: yes, I very much think so James: you looked beautiful Ava: you'll make me blush James: I hope so, despite not being there to see it Ava: in terms of photographic evidence, definitely more fun than the clean bath James: unless I were in it, alas I'm not sure I'd fit Ava: Oh babe that's so sad Ava: the world doesn't cater to people your size, how rude 🥺 James: I'll try if you promise to drop whatever you're doing & help free me should the unthinkable occur James: & thankfully hotels do, so I won't have to see that face on Thursday Ava: Of course Ava: we have to protect your modesty and decency at all costs 🤭 Ava: hotel, you say? James: yes, that way we'll both fit James: without any kind of farce or firefighters getting involved Ava: I did say alone time Ava: no 🚓 🚑 🚒 allowed James: not in this chapter, I promise James: it's not that kind of book Ava: It doesn't have to be tasteful Ava: I don't think the readers will mind James: I'll bear that in mind Ava: Please do James: while I've got things under consideration, would you like to stay over? James: I can arrange taking you to school on Friday morning Ava: Um, yes Ava: of course James: okay, I'll ask Diana to watch the girls James: after today it's the least she can do Ava: Is she usually better when I'm not there? James: no James: she'll happily find a grievance with whoever is Ava: well, at least it isn't personal Ava: don't know if that's worse, actually James: plenty were tailored to you personally if that makes you feel any better Ava: it's understandable, I suppose Ava: if I was who they thought I was James: my ex wife was everything they thought she was & it did nothing to help me Ava: yeah James: I have my opinions on my sister's husband & I keep them to myself Ava: he wasn't there, was he? James: there's a slim chance you'll be able to meet him at her baby shower, but he wasn't at the last one Ava: I'm sure the chances I'll be invited are even slimmer Ava: sounds delightful though James: oh she'll invite you, if only to show you how a party should be thrown Ava: 😏 Ava: it's a good thing I already know baby shower etiquette then Ava: been to enough James: you'll have to teach me what it is Ava: Very modern of her to want any men there Ava: usually they object on the fact of it being 'women's business' and it's like a hen party with no alcohol James: Matilda's & Jay's were both like that Ava: Yeah, I can see that James: there was obviously champagne though James: I assumed that was why I wasn't invited Ava: Oh yeah, the other guests can get hammered Ava: and the mum has to lowkey cry about it the whole time, but all the gifts and attention you get should really make up for it Ava: they're weird, honestly, another excuse for all of the above James: the horrific flashbacks of said crying & attention have returned to me, thank you for that Ava: 😬 Ava: you can have a baby shower now if you would like Ava: I'll look up all the ridiculous games Ava: you earnt it James: you're the one who has earned anything you'd like James: there wouldn't have even been a party today if not for all the work you put in Ava: all I like is being with you Ava: it was worth it James: you know I don't want you to leave, it upsets me that you're not here now Ava: Same Ava: I wish I could be James: did you finish your homework? Ava: not quite, my parents wanted to talk to me for ages Ava: which really goes against their concerns being my schoolwork but there we go James: well, I'm very concerned about your schoolwork & ensuring you don't have to go to Kings after all, so if there's anything I can do to help Ava: I'll tell them Ava: that will no doubt but their mind at ease Ava: it's not even that hard, I'm just lacking motivation James: of course James: I went there too, none of the work was ever that hard Ava: they'd like you to believe the oxbridge admissions day others but Ava: we know the truth James: I'd like to know what would motivate you Ava: Well Ava: maybe we could do lunch or something before Thursday Ava: that is forever away James: it certainly does feel like it Ava: or we can walk Frank or I'll come 'round for dinner Ava: just say I can see you before then and I'll get it done James: we can do every single one of those things once you have Ava: 😍 Ava: Okay, I'll do it Ava: as you're so inspirational James: as we've discussed, I don't want things to be one sided James: & you're the most encouraging person I've ever met James: I've never found someone to be this stimulating before, it's a remarkably unfair contest for my capabilities James: thus I'm motivated to keep motivating you Ava: I love being with you so much James Ava: I can't wait for your life to be exactly what you want it Ava: it is going to happen, I'm so sure of it James: before you I didn't even know how my life could hypothetically be bearable, never mind thinking about how I may have wanted it in its ideal James: you build character, Ava James: I love you so much, but also I can stand who I am now, with you Ava: you're doing all the work though Ava: to totally restart, that's amazing you know Ava: and I love you too James: because you prompted it Ava: as long as you're taking your credit too, I can deal with that James: I need you to know that I couldn't do this without you, back then or now James: & how much I appreciate you is in line with that Ava: Good thing you've got me Ava: and good thing that's what we both want Ava: everything else we can work out together James: it's the most perfect thing James: hence I'm still working out how to do any of it justice with a novel Ava: Words are your speciality Ava: even if it takes a lifetime, that's time we have James: & if nothing else it puts your current writer's block into perspective James: you definitely won't be forced to do homework forever Ava: 😅 very true James: because of course my struggle is consistently greater than yours, darling James: there's a long line of people waiting to tell us, lest we forget Ava: but of course Ava: only have to worry about when my next assignment is due and how to wear my hair, thank god 💁 James: thank god Jay didn't insist you turn yours blue as well James: getting you sent home for violating the dress code wouldn't endear your parents to me Ava: I don't think I'd look anywhere as near as cool Ava: talk about a real party faux pas James: as far as she's concerned you're incapable of committing one, or any wrong at all Ava: no pressure 😅 Ava: she's so cute Ava: and funny James: she wants to get her hair cut next, as long as you say you like it when I eventually take her, you'll continue to be her favourite person Ava: Ooh, that's a big one Ava: how is dad feeling about it? James: hypothetically less hair to fight to get a brush through sounds like a fantastic idea James: but actually, I don't know Ava: she'll love it Ava: you will too Ava: though it'll be a total shock James: I'll be the sentimental fool, frantically trying to catch a lock to keep before it hits the floor, undoubtedly Ava: 🥺 You're adorable Ava: at least Mattie has a way to before her first haircut, a reprieve for you James: it'll make her happy, that's what I should focus on, I know Ava: you're still allowed to feel a type of way about it Ava: that's what dads are for James: mine isn't the demonstrative type, unless disappointment is what he wishes to convey, but yes James: I don't look to him for parenting advice Ava: You're already better Ava: and that can be a comfort now, instead of how he is being detrimental to you James: thank you James: all I ask is that you don't also decide to change how you wear your hair in the near future please, there are only so many changes I can endure regardless of whether they're positive or negative Ava: Okay, I can promise that Ava: just for you James: well in that case, just for you, I'll ignore the weather forecast & walk Frank tomorrow Ava: 😁 Ava: I wish you could come to Dublin too Ava: we'll be having bonfire night James: one day, I can promise that Ava: I know, it's too soon Ava: I'll buy sparklers, when I get back James: I look forward to it Ava: I won't bring back a jacket potato even though they're so much better off the fire James: true, I remember it being one of the main merits of scouts Ava: you were a scout? 😊 James: yes James: I did my D of E as well Ava: That tracks Ava: you're always prepared James: I don't know about that Ava: Are you suggesting that the D of E was in fact a massive waste of time? 🤔😱 James: I'm not suggesting anything until they approach me with whatever package they deem appropriate in order to secure a glowing endorsement James: King's have certainly benefited from having me on side, in spite of losing you to more worthy rivals Ava: Smart 😏 Ava: You did almost convince me, and in a way, you still did, just not to their benefit James: I can't in good conscience take credit for the persuasive charm of The Vault James: or pretend as though I wasn't the one being utterly convinced by you Ava: Of course, those dizzying highs are unparalleled and cannot be replicated anywhere else Ava: and just as obvious is my conniving seduction of you, as pointed out with pointed looks and silences James: it is a relief to hear that high school wasn't in fact my peak, I'll make sure to really emphasise my superiority in the book's acknowledgements Ava: If you thought it was possible to peak in that school, I'd have no interest in gold-digging you, would I James: nobody is professing that you're good at it, darling James: you'd have been more likely to target my father's bad marriage if so Ava: I'm so sad for myself Ava: tragically bad at it, really James: unfortunately we can't both be figures of pity & I've already been typecast in said role Ava: I'll have to get better at it and be more worthy of scorn James: regardless, there's very little chance they'll improve enough to be worthy of where they've put themselves James: though the mock trial is a kind consideration given that your brother is vying to put me before a real one, I suppose Ava: Thank God they don't know James: my father has already baulked at the idea of us moving, if I have to go to him cap in hand to pay for lawyers James: I dread to think Ava: I still hope they never need to be told Ava: maybe that's foolish at this point but James: if it is, it's a folie à deux James: but once I tell Jay I can hardly swear her to secrecy James: & she does need to be told, my delusion isn't that far reaching Ava: No, true Ava: kids are bad with secrets Ava: and obviously, not the kind of thing to encourage anyway Ava: they won't treat her differently at least, right? Ava: as long as they can keep their talking about it out of her earshot too, I feel that's the best we can hope for James: I'd love to say no, of course they wouldn't Ava: I didn't want to be the one to suggest it Ava: even if slagging off your family might seem like the appropriate course of action right now, not that bitch either James: there's very little you could suggest that my imagination hasn't beaten you to Ava: I know darling Ava: I'm sorry James: I try to console myself with the knowledge that there's a degree of inevitability anyway, look how differently I am treated, without any question of being his flesh & blood James: my family have & always will have their favourites, set in & as immovable as stone Ava: and she does have Chloe's parents, who clearly adore both girls Ava: I only have one set of grandparents Ava: you're right, they're going to act however they choose to act, and they can blame it on what they like but as long as Jay knows it isn't her fault and she is loved by lots of people, then that should be enough, and I'm sure it will be Ava: you've found happiness despite them James: & she will too, I'll make sure of that James: do your parents know? Ava: Yes Ava: he told them at the time, as well Ava: so they were less shocked but obviously still James: I definitely won't be welcome at the bonfire then Ava: It's not your fault Ava: they can't blame you James: it wasn't the first time I'd heard it said that I wasn't her dad either, I could've done something when it was Ava: She's the only one that knew the actual truth Ava: the only one that could say or do anything for definite James: I didn't want to know, that's my fault Ava: Neither did my brother James: we're as bad as each other Ava: It's more complicated than that James: it won't be to Jay Ava: I don't think Jay is going to understand it like that James: what I mean is, all of this should & could've been sorted out a lot sooner Ava: Maybe Ava: but none of you can go back James: no, we can't Ava: All either of you can do is go from here Ava: God knows what Chloe's next move will be James: as yet she isn't making any James: there wasn't even a card Ava: It's insane Ava: it's like she's dead Ava: playing dead, anyway James: that would be preferable James: at least I'd know what to say to Jay if she were Ava: It's so unfair Ava: that she thinks she gets to do this Ava: that she owes them nothing James: she does get to, neither I nor her parents can stop her Ava: If her parents know where she is though Ava: they could take the kids to her Ava: but then, I suppose all that would result in would be trauma for them Ava: for fuck's sake James: precisely, I can't blame them for being terrified of the scene they'd stumble into Ava: the parent that stays always get shit on Ava: it's not right, this is her mess and she's doing nothing to fix it James: I'll gladly fix it for their sakes, that is what's right James: they've been through enough with her Ava: and you'll do a better job than she ever could Ava: it's just frustrating Ava: but I know you know that more than me, and do not need telling remotely just Ava: I feel angry on all your behalves right now James: you don't know what it means to me, how much you care, even if it is distressing & distracting for you right now Ava: I know you want the best for me Ava: but in the grand scheme of things, me fluffing one essay is not actually the big deal any of my family would like to make it so we don't have to have a bigger conversation Ava: this is important, you are James: an assignment isn't the issue, it's that everyone believes you're consistently putting my importance above yours James: & maybe if it's that glaring to all but me they have a point & I am asking too much of you James: leaning on you too hard through this Ava: No, they don't want to see it, because this whole thing, us, makes them uncomfortable Ava: it'd be my business if I did anyway, every person in a relationship I know does that Ava: but it isn't at the cost of me and my importance anyway James: okay Ava: I promise, James James: I'm doing my best Ava: You're doing amazing James: it doesn't feel that way Ava: no Ava: but the girls are gonna grow up happy, and then it'll be worth it James: are they? Ava: Yes James: I want to believe that Ava: You'll get to see Ava: that doubt, of whether you're fucking it all up, is just part and parcel isn't it Ava: but things will get easier too, day to day like James: whether I fuck it all up again you mean, because I actually have for so long Ava: but you're fixing it Ava: that's what really counts James: but it doesn't erase my past mistakes, they count as well James: every slight against Chloé is also one against me because I stood by & let them happen James: I knew where she was, where she could plausibly still be James: & here I am, continuing to do nothing Ava: at the end of the day though Ava: all anyone really wants from their parents is love Ava: knowing that you love and care about and for them, put in that work, that's what counts Ava: she isn't good for them right now, clearly Ava: maybe she does get to just walk away, regardless of it being unfair James: you're right, clearly James: I'm sorry, it's been a really long day Ava: It really has Ava: what are you doing to wind down? James: I don't know James: what do you suggest? Ava: Depends Ava: you could try to fit in your blue bath Ava: cook yourself your favourite food Ava: we could watch a movie or some really mindless trash TV James: Beautiful Creatures or Beastly are supposedly a must for Twilight fans James: if you've seen those, there's also The Mortal Instruments but I'm not sure how many of those books got made into films James: it feels unwise to risk getting invested in a neverending cliffhanger Ava: I think they made that one into a bad TV series too, after the films bombed Ava: could be an exercise in how not to do it Ava: as well as relaxing James: really? James: well that's settled Ava: I bet it has such a sub-par soundtrack too James: compared to what we're used to, what wouldn't be? Ava: Precisely Ava: after the day we've had, can't be dealing with that level of excitement James: enough that I don't immediately fall asleep after pressing play will be fine Ava: I'll fill you in on the travesties if you do James: no, after the day we've had, I want to spend time with you Ava: I love you James: I love you too
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frozaru · 2 years ago
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Hello and welcome!
A lot happened yesterday in the new Nintendo Direct from many of the big franchises. It had started off weak imo but credit where it's due, got better as things went on! I have much to talk about so let's get on with the show.
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𝙋𝙄𝙆𝙈𝙄𝙉 4
The game to kick off this direct. I will admit that it does look visually pretty, and the new pooch is certainly cute! There's chances for a lot of chaotic fun no doubt. I've never tried a Pikmin game before, and whilst it does not interest me enough to say "buy now", I hope people will enjoy this game. We already know a certain blue puppet went crazy over this. 😉 Perhaps I'll take another look when Pikmin 4 goes on sale one day. The game releases on July 21st, 2023.
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𝙎𝘼𝙈𝘽𝘼 𝘿𝙀 𝘼𝙈𝙄𝙂𝙊: 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙇
An unexpected surprise from Sega happened! This will be the first Samba De Amigo game since 23 YEARS AGO (as of Dreamcast release). Dancing games are not really my thing but hey, maybe this one will be unique enough to consider me giving it a shot! It releases sometime this summer.
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𝙎𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙊𝙊𝙉 3: 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝘼𝙉𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙋𝘼𝙎𝙎
If anything, this announcement was the main course for me! Just...wow. ♡ As someone who started within Splatoon 2, it's going to be so fascinating to explore Inkopolis Plaza for my very first time! Also SQUID SISTER SPLATFESTS ARE BACK! I already know @atlantisportal2 is about to have a nostalgia trip. I'm so freaking excited! 😁 Not only that...but Side Order is looking VERY intriguing for me.
Could this be a corrupt version of what happened if Team Order won Splatoon 2: Final Splatfest? Also Pearl and Marina baby, woohoo! Very glad seeing them back along with what looks to be Agent 8. Also you better believe I purchased it ASAP! With that said, wave 1 is set to release sometime in Spring with wave 2 inkcoming (haha) somewhere on the holidays (according to placeholder dates).
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𝘼𝘿𝙑𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙎 1+2: 𝙍𝙀-𝘽𝙊𝙊𝙏 𝘾𝘼𝙈𝙋
I haven't got much to say about these games, however, I did like what they've shown so far and looking to pick it up sometime in future if reviews are looking good. Like the artstyle they're going for! They will be avaliable on April 21st.
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𝙉𝙎𝙊: 𝙂𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝘽𝙊𝙔+𝙂𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝘼𝘿𝙑𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀
More games for the service? Yes freaking please! It took a while but now they're here. The games really whizzed by and it would be impossible to put them all here, so if you'd like a glimpse of what I'm personally interested in, take a look. Take your time. 😊 *Tick tick tick* Oh, you're back? Lovely! Nintendo really popped off with the choices imo (looking at you Wario Land 3 and Mario+Luigi Superstar Saga). Some of these games are being released today with others being added in the future.
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𝙋𝙇 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙇𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘼𝙈
A miracle has happened!! After tragic events with both Level 5 and the original creator years ago, Professor Layton is looking to make a return. I've not played any of these games yet which judging by general buzz, I'm missing out! Hope to see more details soon as they come and maybe look into this considered-to-be underrated series in future. A release date has not been confirmed yet.
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𝙏𝙇𝙊𝙕: 𝙏𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂𝘿𝙊𝙈
GANON IS BACK AND MORE TERRIFYING THAN EVER! With an amazing reveal of more info, this game is shaping up to be something great already. The visuals, music, and maybe even voice acting...it leaves me impressed. The gameplay could even be a step up with new weapon types and tools among other things (we can make our own cars legit now!?) However, it also reminds me that I need to finish BOTW someday. 😅 I'll be sure to look into this game at some point. Sharpen your blade and prepare for adventure on 12th May, 2023...
(Tysm for getting up to this point reader, it's been wonderful writing it all. I'm still not done yet though and might do part 2 in future. Take care! 👋
🎴My Carrd
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ambiguouspuzuma · 3 years ago
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"I'm in a time loop," she said.
So she kept telling me.
It had been true, the first time. Well, the first time for me. Who knew how many times she'd danced this dance, the same song playing on repeat? She said it had been weeks, dozens of iterations until even she lost count - but how many of those would she have thought to confide in me, or anybody else?
Not all of them, that was for sure. It would have taken her a while to figure it out. To try to break it on her own, before admitting to her own insanity. The look in her eyes was one of miserable fatigue, her tone bearing the notes of wretched desperation. My heart hurt to see her this way, but not as much as it might have done: as stirring as the performance had been, it felt somewhat dulled for the encore. I'd been in this position before. We both had.
*
"I'm in a time loop," she'd said.
Her eyes had seemed tired. Not just from lack of sleep, in that half-open, heavy-lidded, gunk-around-the-outside kind of way. Tired on the inside. Exhausted, as if the spark that once drove her had burned itself out, like a slender candle left alone in the dark. A weariness that belonged at the end of a long day - not first thing in the morning.
"Good morning to you too." I'd kissed her brow and wiped the sleep out of the corner of her eyes. There was nothing I could do for the lost sleep inside them, but I could always try the next best thing. "Would a coffee help with that?"
"No, I- well, yes, thank you." She seemed frustrated with herself, like she was somehow getting her lines wrong. "Sorry - I said no yesterday, but I guess it couldn't hurt. I'll come and make it with you, though. We really need to talk."
"The five words every boyfriend loves to hear."
"What, I'm in a time loop wasn't good enough for you?"
"Okay, okay, fair enough. You want to explain what that's about?"
"Well, do you believe me?"
"Always," I said. "But I wouldn't be averse to a little demonstration of your powers, just to make sure - you know, predicting what I'm going to say next, that sort of thing."
"Oh, I don't have a clue about all that. We've already changed the course of this conversation so much, and it's not like I can work out different outputs from different inputs. You're far too complicated for that."
"Thank you," I said, taking the compliment where I could. "Okay, so let's say I believe you. A time loop. What exactly does that mean?"
"I'm trapped living the same day, over and over again. I can keep going until I fall asleep, but then I wake up in this moment. Well, the bit just before, lying in bed with you. It's torture."
"Thanks." There was no compliment to be found there, but I knew she hadn't meant it like that. "So if you can keep yourself awake, you can see tomorrow?"
"My record is a few days, but it didn't help, and the cost... it's done its damage on my mind. I can never catch up on the lost sleep, you see. My body recovers, but my mind remembers everything."
"I'm sorry," I said, brushing aside the implications for a dualist theory of mind. This wasn't a joke any more. She really did look unbelievably strained - almost to the point of breaking. Whatever my doubts about the possibilities of what she was saying, the tears in her eyes were real.
"It's awful. I've tried escaping every way I can, but I can't even die. I don't age. Nothing that I do has any lasting consequence."
I thought that over for a moment. Immortality. Immutability. No consequences. On another day, I might have joked that it sounded like an ideal life to me. On another day, another version of this one, perhaps I even had. But in this version, I looked into those tired eyes, and realised the implication of what she'd said.
"You can't... you tried?" The tears were spreading. I reached out and pulled her into my chest, letting hers spill out onto my warm skin; mine made their way down my cheeks, to where I'd pressed my face into to the top of her head. The softness of her hair. The lingering perfume of raspberry shampoo. I drank her in like my last breath. How could I live without her?
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave you. I love you, you know that? I could live this day for a million years, and I'd never grow tired of you. But I can't bear the rest of it, and then... well, you're stuck here too. In the same loop as me, just without any memories."
"Oh." I hadn't thought about that aspect of it. "So I reset every time you go to sleep. A one-day lifespan... like a mayfly."
"You're effectively dead," she told me. It sounded blunt, but she'd probably had this conversation before. It would have been hard enough the first time, and she had to believe that I'd forget this version anyway. Why dress things up, when we had so much to get through? "Preserved, but only in this moment. Like one of those cryogenics guys, you know? Putting their body in stasis in the hope it might one day be revived. That's why I jumped off that building. I'm trying to save you."
"I- thank you." What else could I say to that? She'd tried to sacrifice her own life, truncated as it was, to save me from this cage. There were no words that could express the way that made me feel. Even my feelings were struggling to come to terms with it. "How can I help? What else have you tried so far?"
"I've been trying to figure out how this started, in case it can be reversed the same way. Do you remember when we- wait, it would have been yesterday for you, right? Was it yesterday we went to the bluebell woods?"
"No." We'd always meant to check them out, a local woodland just a stone's throw from their our home, but as far as I remembered we'd never actually found the time. Still, the weather was looking good for the rest of the day. Neither of us had work. There would have been no time like the present. "I think it might have been... today?"
"Ah. Well, we went for a walk, we followed the bluebells, and sort of went off the beaten path a bit. We found a river, behind a rusted fence, and I thought it would be a good idea to have a little swim."
"Of course you did." Time loop or not, she never changed. She couldn't see a body of water, from the smallest puddle to the mightiest ocean, without feeling the urge to dip her feet in. "At least it was running water this time, but I can't imagine it was particularly clean. Who knows what kind of bacteria you could have picked up."
"That's what you said at the time," she smiled. Apparently I didn't change either. "You made me shower as soon as we got home. Anyway, I figure that must have been what did it."
"You think you caught some kind of... time loop bug?"
"Do you have any better ideas? It's the only thing I can think of that was different. Anyway, I took me a few tries to remember the way, but I just found my way back, the day before yesterday - well, the today before today - and tried doing it again."
"And nothing happened?"
"Nope. Didn't even change the loop. Here I am, flat out of ideas. You should have seen me yesterday. The disappointment was overwhelming. I hadn't realised I'd invested so much hope in it, you know? But I guess that now I've given up. I'm resigned to it. It's not like I've got any other choice, unless you can think of something else for me to try."
"Can you take me there?" I asked.
"Where? To the river?"
"Yeah. I thought I might try to swim. If you're right, at least then we might be in the loop together. That would be better, wouldn't it?"
"You'd do that for me?" She looked up with those broken eyes, the shards of her shattered faith glinting in the space inside, the faintest glimmer of a new hope catching light. "But you never go near the water. You always act like one drop of it will kill you."
"You're not exactly in the habit of jumping off of buildings," I reminded her. "These are extraordinary times."
"Okay," she said, nodding slowly as she processed the idea. "Okay. It has to be worth a try."
*
I woke up the next day, and it was the next day. I remembered. I remembered everything: the conversation, the river, the jokes, the tears. The way we'd held each other afterwards, bacteria be damned. The way she'd pushed me in the shower from the moment we got home, mocking me, but in so soft a way that it felt more like love. The gentle way she'd washed my hair with raspberry shampoo. The way we'd drifted off wrapped in each other's arms.
We'd done it. The curse had been lifted. We were finally free.
"I'm in a time loop," she said.
"No, it's okay," I told her, stemming a yawn. Yesterday had been a long day to recover from. "I swam in the river. I fixed it."
"Oh." Confused emotions flickered through her tired eyes. "You remembered the way? It took me a few tries."
"You took me there."
"No I didn't." She was afraid now. "What are you talking about? What's happening?"
I thought I understood it, then - but I knew that it would take the next morning to make sure. We discussed it for a little bit, but then I told her that I needed time to think it through; once she had left to do whatever she had left to do, in a world where none of her adventures mattered, I rolled over and went back to sleep.
*
When I woke up, she was still there, exactly where I'd left her. Just like the position of the hands on our clock, and the morning sun on the horizon. Unmoved. Immutable.
"I'm in a time loop," she said.
It was still technically true, except now the loop was on the other foot. My recurring day had come to encompass hers.
She still remembered the other iterations - still believed that it was her who was repeating - but only up to the time I went to the river. From then on, she was the one who would reset. She just didn't know it yet - just as I hadn't known when I was the one trapped. Not until she'd told me.
In my attempt to join her on the outside of the cage, I'd only managed to switch our places. I'd only made things worse. I'd killed her, if what she said about the loop was true. Where once she could still have some form of life, flowing like a river through an otherwise stagnant world, she'd been trapped in this moment, marooned like an oxbow lake. I had stolen that from her. I'd taken it for myself.
I had to make things right. Whatever she had tried to break the curse, I would have to try it twice. Her sacrifices were now mine to make, her stresses were now mine to shoulder. I would force this boulder up the hill, again and again and again, as many times as it took to set her free, with or without me by her side. Now was my time to bear the burden of tomorrow on my own: my turn to save her from the infinite today.
*
"I'm in a time loop," she said.
"No you're not," I told her, feeling the tiredness in my eyes. How many times had it been? How many days I had awoken to those words? "I am."
Your partner rolls over in your bed, looking at you with the most tired eyes you’ve ever seen. “I’m in a time loop.”
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