#I'd use the app but parental controls said no :

[charizardgirl13]

Almost forgot to post this on Tumblr but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICAN IDIOT!!!!

[alarajrogers]

Going off your last post, what "simple measures" WOULD you propose to deal with incel terrorism, besides obvious ones like better mental healthcare and gun control? Off the top of my head, I'd suggest normalizing social mixers more (the sort of role that churches, Freemason/Elk lodges, etc., traditionally filled), encouraging women to make the first move in courtship, encouraging boys to cultivate their appearance and charm the way we teach girls (so making the first move would be not just more appealing for women, but also safer if "charm" for men encompasses respectful behavior), and encouraging men to emotionally support each other.

So there's a few things.

Firstly, number one, there's the gun control. Other countries have disaffected young men, white supremacists, and overly entitled misogynists, but they don't have as many guns and ready access to ammo. And the Second Amendment has never said what it's currently interpreted as; judges completely ignore the "well regulated militia" part. The right to bear arms is supposed to be regulated. What kind of regulations are necessary for the security of a free state? Well, among them, no fucking stochastic terrorism, which means we can't have randos running around with unregulated guns. Hell, put a gigantic tax on the ammo and then let people who require guns for work, have insurance, and all their permits in place, write the tax off. You can collect weapons all you want if they don't have ammo, and no one gets the right to write off more ammo than they can justify with their job duties or hobbies, or that they can insure.

How do we address the fact that boys are being taught absolutely toxic bullshit about how they're supposed to interact with girls? For this, I think you need some kind of program that involves male celebrities like musicians and athletes, and maybe tax breaks for Hollywood programs that work to model healthy behaviors for boys and girls toward each other. Less of this toxic "I'm a strong independent woman who doesn't need no man and that justifies me being abusive to boys and men in fiction". Model toward girls what healthy behavior to boys and from boys looks like, model toward boys what healthy behavior to girls and from girls looks like. Do PSAs. Get public schools to include a unit on healthy romantic behaviors in Health class in middle school, preferably as early as sixth grade. (I'd say put it in like 3rd, but I can just hear the parental screaming about sexualizing children, coming from the same people who'll buy their 1 year old onesies with "My heart belongs to DADDY" or "Lady Killer".)

Normalizing social mixers is absolutely a great idea! In fact, I believe we should be creating third-space socialization opportunities for girls and boys, little ones and teen ones, all over the place, that are outside of schools. Clubs that are not associated with schools, athletic leagues that let kids of the same general height and weight play together regardless of gender. Such things should exist for adults, too. Right now, there are socialization systems in place for college students, the elderly, and people who are willing to put in a ton of work and free time to stay involved with something, but aside from that, all there is for adults is bars, nightclubs, and work, if you want to meet new people. Or use online dating apps.

I do believe in teaching boys charm, hygiene, respectful behavior, and in emotionally supporting each other, and I believe in normalizing girls making the first move... but the forces that stand in the way of those things have been battered at since the 60's and if anything are resurging now. Misogyny, patriarchy and toxic masculinity (as opposed to healthy masculinity) are currently pushing really hard against the forces of reasonable behavior, and part of this is on feminists, who as a cohort have spent too much time demonizing men and not enough time explaining to them how they benefit from the behaviors women would like to see from them. I am not quite sure how to fix this particular problem. I feel like feminism as a movement screwed the pooch, and MRAs are actively in favor of patriarchy and misogyny, and there's really no movement of "let's be reasonable toward people of a different gender."

[shell-al-irys]

Hello.

Let this be my first post.

I'm Shell or Irys (I go by both). Please refer to me by it/its or they/them.

This blog will contain triggering topics like:

ED, SA, SH, mental health issues (eg. Depression, anxiety), su1cidal thoughts.

If any of those topics trigger you, please leave my blog.

For the rest of you...

I decided to document my journey on getting my control back. It'll be also a place for me to vent and share my thoughts.

Life is... messed up to say the least.

I can count on fingers on my right hand how many things I have full control over. Lack of said control makes me sick. Everything is happening and I can't do anything about it.

It's sickening, it hurts, it makes me want to stop trying.

So I thought of things that I can take full control over.

One of those things happened to be food.

But because I'm usually not allowed in the kitchen so I can't decide what I want to eat another thing I can't control well I decided to focus on

calories.

And specifically how many I eat during the day.

I'm 172cm tall and currently stuck at 51kg.

Normally I should eat about 1500 calories daily to maintain my weight.

This calculated amount doesn't make me happy so I made my own decision probably third in my whole life to stay at the 700 calories per day.

Technically I'm relapsing. I had issues with eating before. My stomach shrunk enough for me to eat smaller portions ever since.

It's been a week since I started this diet. I use an app to count the calories and it shows how much calories each food has. It's really useful but I found it only 3 days ago.

I have no weight goal. I'm only gonna focus on the amount of calories.

Anyway...

I still don't know if making this blog is a good idea.

If the people close to me find this I'll be in trouble. I have a partner and they would be devastated... and my parents mad.

That would be all for this blog.

If you have any tips for me I'd love to hear them. My DMs are always open.

Please take care.

Goodbye.

10.02.2023

Fredric Judd Waugh - Rum Row

[freedomwrites]

I've gotten it so bogged down. Even if they wanted to donate or give me anything their mind is so twisted and stressed like the attorney general after dealing with gatez it becomes a situation of some saying they wanted to even more then I know but they gotta get their parents permission. Support and support. But that's not all the aspect of Arizona ties into but I didn't mean Elijah Muhammad but maybe I meant the culture. But even still is it still a war between us when lasers showed we are the controllers but they got weapons too while we take the shots. It doesn't mean anything but a vessel is a vessel. I is a I. Colonies are colonies. But it's the aspect of realizing why it's 50. But even still like he said way back when twenty twen twen. An what's wild. Whether it be a buffet or warren buffet or hell even hot sauce. It's not the period where you can hold the 0 to keep rhe numbers going or however I did on cash app. But again. Maybe I'm lost. And what's sad. It was suppsoed to be family. And what's sad he said he was gonna die. And didn't want me to get killed as well. But what's fucked up. Depression gun is one thing. Love gun is another. But I didn't mean an actual gun. You can't sell out something that isn't yours to sell. Even if. Just like your soul. But again I'd say that a week ago. An it'd have hit different. Backstab with a reverse. I'm sitting down at my computer typing this. It's wild.

[clubwnderland]

⤷⋆⋆ 𝑴𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 ♡

To @moonlightchn Channie

Jongin gets a message from Alice, indicating that things have been put into place and sent a couple of photos for him to be able to give Channie as a part of his Christmas present.

He walks with his boyfriend to the living room where everything is all set up, Channie's parents having called them to eat before they open up their presents and compared to last year, Jongin is more relaxed. "Do you need a hand?" He asks, heading for the kitchen while Channie gives his siblings a hug.

"No, son, go sit down." Channie's dad claps a hand on his shoulder with a smile and it takes everything in Jongin's self-control to not beam at the word.

Son.

He doesn't think he's been called that, ever. Not even his own parents proudly referred to him as that. He was always the Hui's twin, their son's brother, a shame, a nobody.

Eating breakfast like a family and talking about life, the wolves all settle into a good routine before Jongin and Channie clear the table and everyone is gathered around the tree. "Alice will come around later," Jongin says to Channie, who looks at him with a look of suspicion. "Or, we can go to her place for lunch?" He gives Channie the option as he's not going to control what they did with Channie's best friend.

The presents are handed around, Channie having chosen a majority of the gifts but Jongin tried. He pitched in when he could because he's never really been the type who was good at gift giving - until Channie. Though, getting things for Channie still makes Jongin nervous, he seems to be getting the hang of it and has spent a lot of time and planning for Christmas this time rather than last minute shopping.

"Here," Jongin passes his phone to Channie for the first part of his gift. "I had new terrariums made for Pickle and... well, I know we've been talking about getting a gecko so..." Jongin scratches the back of his neck, knowing what Channie might say next.

The space, they don't really have the space for it and so Jongin helps Channie change the app to several listings he thought would work.

"The apartment I had... well, Jangmi isn't around anymore and we've been basically living together. We need our own space, a bigger place and so I found some that you might like. They are all located near good takeaway places, close to Jangmi and Chan's work plus it's not hard for me to get to the studio or club from any of these places." He lets Channie process the information before he continues speaking. "It doesn't need to be now but I thought this would be a good time to give you that option. If you want to stay where you are, we can and I'll get them changed, made easier to deal with but yeah." He groans, rubbing his hand over his face, "it's a lot, huh?"

Jongin hesitates with his next gift, worried that Channie might squeal at him or tell him he's being silly but he continues by showing some more photos. This time of a cabin located in some woods, it's rustic but simple and Jongin smiles softly. "If you wanted to move in here, I'd deal with it but... when I left the pack, Hui gave me a parting gift. It is a piece of land that was once his and is now ours, I tried to give it to your dad now that..." He absentmindedly rubs his shoulder where his tattoo is as if it's a painful reminder of what he no longer is a part of. Never was a part of. "I've been accepted but he said for us to keep it."

"It's not big, nothing special but I thought that if we ever want to escape the city for a bit, it can be like a holiday home? Quiet, calm and we can run around as much as we want without a care." Leaning over to kiss Channie, he rests his forehead against his boyfriend's for a tender moment before whispering. "I'm sorry it's a lot, I'm just excited to start building a life with you... I hope you like it all... Merry Christmas, puppy."

[hallowdeaths]

Barnes Bakery, Part Six.

summary : bucky will burn the world down to ashes for you.

trigger warnings : violence, unwanted sexual attention towards reader (low-key sexual harassment), mentions of abusive parent and dead mother, mentions of cheating, suicidal ideas.

Bucky was shaking. Not the sort of shaking that was mild and controlled— but instead the sort that demanded for his mother to hold his hands. It was the kind of shaking that was wild, reckless— unkept in its violence.

He'd found Steve and the rest of his team at your school. Apparently, Sharon had mislead them to believe that you were in trouble, and without a second thought went to get you because you were family. You were, though quietly and slowly, had become an essential part of Steve and Bucky's lives.

Bucky wasn't able to breathe, and he was shaking as if he was in the hospital again, trying to regain feeling in his hand.

"Bucky." It's his friend's voice that dismisses the thought of you for a second, before it comes barreling back down on his focus.

He needs to get to you.

"She took her." He says. His throat is dry, and he thinks that it may be coated with rage that would terrify so many. He isn't able to tell because he can't hear anything but his thoughts.

"Peter is tracking her phone." Natasha announces from the desk, leaning against a green chair he remembers you sat in merely days ago, swinging happily when Steve brought you your daily muffin.

He remembers you telling him about your theory on how muffins are just the grandma versions of cupcakes, and he also recalls himself ignoring it, thinking it didn't make sense.

"It may be shut down, but I can still access it if-"

"If?" Bucky growls.

"If she has a find my phone app in it."

"Does she?" He glances at Steve, laughing hysterically. "I don't even know."

The blond nods at him, and anger rises within him twofolds. How was it that his best friend knew, and not him? How was it that he'd always pushed you away when he knew that there was no avoiding how incredibly quickly and foolishly he'd fallen for you?

Silence hung about like a looming threat, and suddenly, Peter screeched with delight that filled Bucky with a small, precious spark of hope. Perhaps he'd get to feel you just one more time.

"I GOT IT!"

Bucky was dragging his team out the door before anything else could be said.

.

Youre not sure when it is that you were knocked out. You remember realizing you would have to face your father. You remember Sharon laughing at you, but you don't remember getting hit so strongly on the head that you were still seeing stars.

"Come on, what is she going to do? Say no? I'd like to see her try." A voice you don't recognize laughs with a cruel tone that makes your fingers clench tighter around your binds.

You can't open your eyes, it still hurts too badly, but you can listen.

"You're fucking nasty. She's just sloppy seconds."

"You know what they say. The sloppier the better." The same voice that holds so much tenor grumbles.

"Literally no one says that." Sharon— you recognize the fakeness within her tone.

"Urgh, stop busting my balls, blondie. Leave and don't come back."

"The boss says no one should touch her." You hear the girl say, and you beg inwardly, chanting at her to stay, even if right now you hate her, you know that if she leaves your fate will quickly become much worse.

"And the boss also never told us he had a daughter before."

"He thought she was dead." Sharon hisses quietly, seemingly trying to distract him from his disgusting, perverse intentions.

"Do I have to put a bullet between your eyeballs?"

"Fuck you." You hear her grumble, before her footsteps retreat and an heavy door is slammed shut.

No. No. No.

Come back.

A hand touches the top of your head, and you wait patiently as Steve had taught you for the person to get just close enough for your swing to make enough damage.

His breath travels to your forehead, to your nose, and just when it finally connects with your lips, you swing your head forward, hard enough to break his teeth and your nose.

He let's out a colorful string of curses as he stumbles away, landing into a table you can only guess is filled with guns and weapons of torture.

The door opens again, thanks to the commotion, but you're too winded to realize that you're falling into oblivion again.

.

When you wake up, you're completely stripped bare. You're in a comfortable bed, sunshine draping itself across your lived-in skin. You're not sure this is real at all, because Bucky is sitting next to you and he's looking at you as if everything is alright.

You yawn uncomfortably, twisting until your body is flush against his thighs. He says nothing, and you can't feel him as he lays a hand onto your head— which confirms your belief that this is not real. You didn't even know if he was alive.

"I wish you were real." You muttered, your voice harsh.

"Im here."

"But you're not."

"Even if it is a dream, why couldn't it be real?"

You glance up at him and take in the edges of his face, the beautiful blue of his eyes, the sharp slope of his nose. The jaw that clenches too often.

Even if it is a dream, you're also aware that you appreciate him, and all that he's done for you even if he used you. Because of him, you were able to have a normal life, at least for a bit. If only it hadn't all gone to shit. If only you had acknowledged the signs you refused to look at straight in the eyes because of your father.

You reach up, gently caressing the ghostly edge of his cheek. "Thank you."

He smiles, and then pushes you back into darkness.

.

You awaken to bright red walls, mixed to dark brick that sticks horribly together. You want to fall back asleep and get back to Bucky, but.. he's gone. And instead of him, youre faced with your father.

"Ah, darling,"

You open your mouth to say something— anything, but your mouth is so dry no sounds can get out except a pathetic whine. You'd lost your voice screaming for Bucky.

"Welcome home." He glances down at his torture toys, smiling grimly. "I wondered how long it would take for me to find you."

You rolled your eyes, moving your wrists against your restrains. Sure, your father had given you everything you'd ever wanted, but being homeless had still be your prime days. He had given you everything but love or trust, and that scars a child, especially when you suddenly find out he had been the one to kill your mother.

"I'll give you that, the Winter Soldier was almost successful at making Sharon believe you weren't important to him. It's sad that you and your mother look so much alike."

"How did you find me?" You manage through your raw throat, wincing at the pain.

"Those two friends of yours— Maximoff, isn't it? Very nice people. She really likes to post on social media."

You frown — the only sign you let him see that you're panicking — and fight harder against your restrains. "if you hurt them-"

"Oh, but darling, I don't know what you could have told them about me. Have to be careful, don't I?"

"I haven't told them anything!" You spit, your neck tightening. "Let them go!"

"Like I can trust you." He scoffs, and than sends his hand down on your cheek to shut you up. "You're just like your mother. Foolish and drunk on liberty."

"She was drowning," You murmured, your head tilted how he'd left you after hitting you. You were seeing stars, but you blinked few times and managed to subdue the effect of his slap. "She was dying, in that estate. Never let out, used for breeding and being a pretty thing on your arm."

Your father screamed at you to shut up, but you were too far gone, tears rolling down your face, rage pulling at your guts. "She hated her life. You trapped her in that house, when you knew every spot in that place terrified her, that she knew of every each of your victims, but you— you locked her up."

Another hit. Blood pooled on your tongue. "And I was drowning too," so please kill me. Please kill me before I become like my mother. "She hated you."

Your dad picks up the gun from his table when your words finally hit him and points it just in between your brows. "Shut the fuck up. I will fucking blow your brains out, you fucking brat."

You smile despite yourself, leaning forward into the gun's barrel. "Wanna know a secret?"

"No." He pushed harder, and you unraveled yourself finally, ready to put an end to your miserable, endless life. "I said shut-"

"I'm not even your daughter."

The revelation is followed by the sound of the door bursting open, his guards falling flat on the floor, and Steve walking in with Sharon at gunpoint who's held by the throat.

Your father— or at least the person who raised you, doesn't lower his gun, but instead smiles at Steve.

If Steve is here, is Bucky too? Is Bucky alright?

"Let the girl go, Alex." Steve growls, his face completely calm and deadly.

"Go ahead and shoot, Steven. I don't care much for her."

"Good, because she was going to die anyways." A voice you don't see sounds through the room, causing your father to finally lower the gun and your inner struggle to fall apart. That voice.

"Winter Soldier." Your father croaked. "Here I thought you sent Captain Blondie to do your dirty work."

"Dirty work, you're right," a door made of bricks you hadn't seen before rises and turns, and Bucky comes out with Natasha, Clint and Thor.

Your father must have finally figured he was out powered, and so he slowly put down the gun at the prospect of being killed.

"You're nothing but dirty work," James hums, his eyes glossed over with a ferality that has you blinking through your tears and swallowing your blood. "But my girl? She's far from fucking dirty."

You father falters, but still keeps a little knowing smile on his face when he glances down at you. "You're nothing but a little whore, uh? Crying about drowning after you've decided to be the big bad mafia boss' play thing."

"Nat." Bucky snaps, and the Russian girl steps up before him to go to you, while Clint busies himself with tugging his bow string further. Alex doesn't try to stop her, and you suspect it's because he knows she's deadly enough that challenging her is a bad idea.

"You can't kill me." Your father says when Bucky twirls a knife out of his pocket and glances at Steve who's still holding Sharon.

"Oh I think we'll do as we like. You did betray the contract." Steve says, which earns a whimper from Sharon who's caught along to why, while you remain confused.

"I might have, seeing as she's not my daughter and she belongs to the Avengers, but.." Your father peers down at you, and points in your general direction, which quickly elicits a warning groan from Bucky. "But without me, you will never find the Maximoff twins."

You exchange a panicked glance with Natasha, who understands immediately and shakes her head at Bucky.

Alex, the person who killed your mother and raised you, points a gun at his own head and smiles darkly one last time.

"I hope you drown." He tells you, and before you can be covered from the sight or your eyes can close, his head splits in two from the bullet in his gun that was reserved for you and you're being drawn with blood all over.

You hear curses, hear Bucky calling your name as he rushes to you, but youre— you can't even think. You can't even cry or talk or breathe.

He'd killed himself, and in the process had taken your two best friends along with him.

You are drowning.

━━━

taglist; @justlovelifeblog @prettylittlepluviophile @marve2014 @silentkiller2374 @tesla-pigeon @learisa @farfromjustordinary @shadoweepingscream @valhalla-kristin @mini-kunoichi @ilymarkchan @buckystevelove @rubinocore @xymei2791 @weirdowithnobeardo @wanna-sell-me-your-soul @thesecretwriter @xforeveralonerxx @leyannrae @tomhiddlestonlove15 @frostironfudge @she-lees @loustan90 @pineprincess @stucky-my-ship @sarahh-kellyy

[bonvoyagenoona]

(tw: discussions of death)

I'm a little shook at the moment because I was spiraling with some thoughts about life, wondering about my support systems and whether I'd ever be rid of this generally unsure existential feeling, and at some point, I fell asleep. I just woke up in the middle of the night after having this extremely profound experience that I need to document somewhere, and my notes apps don't feel right because I want to tell *someone*, but it's 4am so I don't want to pester friends with half-garbled voice memos... so here we go.

In my dream, I was in my room, in my parents' house, where I still live with my parents, my brother, and my brother's gf. My grandparents would also live with us for 3-6 months out of the year, rotating through their kids' cities. The grandparents I'm talking about are my dad's parents; his dad passed about 11 years ago, and his mom passed a few weeks ago.

Anyway, in my dream, it was evening, and I was listening to music and doing my hair or makeup or something, looking in the mirror. It felt like it was earlier today. I had the house to myself today; my parents are night shift nurses, and my brother and his gf are out of town. So, as I would be in real life, in the dream, I was surprised to hear a basketball game playing from the TV in our living room, just outside my door. I frowned but wasn't worried. I figured maybe my dad was home from work early (sometimes my parents come home if they're overstaffed or have only a few patients, which, given the pandemic, hasn't really happened lately) and was just relaxing.

So I went outside to greet him.

I saw our living room in a slightly different layout.

My dad was sitting in his usual seat, a recliner.

And I saw my grandpa, his dad.

I saw him as I best remember him, in his 70s, still able-bodied and strong, still with black dye in his hair but with gray roots, lounging on a sofa that isn't ours but matched our furniture, wearing pambahay, or house clothes in Filipino, a brown shirt and gray/khaki shorts that I always remember him wearing. He was a lanky, not-too-tall guy, skin close to lithe muscle close to the bone, and his legs were hanging out of the legholes of his shorts as his knee was bent up on the couch while he was sprawled out.

I immediately knew I was dreaming when I saw him.

And then it became a lucid dream, where I could control my thoughts and actions.

I started crying, and I walked right over to him and hugged him really tight, and he laughed, and he said "Aroooo!" like he usually does, which, I don't think I've ever heard anyone else from his region do, but I take to be some kind of Filipino expression of surprise (kinda like "Aigoo" in Korean).

He hugged me back ,and patted my back and my bottom lol like he used to do when I was a kid, and asked why I was crying. I just said that I loved him and missed him and cried some more.

My dad was leaning back in the recliner and had his arms up and back, gripping the back of the headrest part, like he sometimes sits. He was laughing along with my grandpa at my, to them, surprisingly emotional reaction. But my dad also seemed happy to see me like this, happy to see me so happy to see my grandpa.

My grandpa said not to cry. That everything is ok.

I could hear sneakers on the court and commentators making idle chatter.

There was a weird moment when I looked over to the other side of the room and saw another Dad, like, he was in his recliner, AND on the sofa that actually IS in our living room, while I was hugging my grandpa on this long couch that isn't actually there.

And then I woke up and already had tears in my eyes.

I've only had a couple of lucid dreams. The other one was of me as a tween or teen, outside, in some suburban neighborhood that kinda looked like my childhood home in Canada, standing on the sidewalk, and figuring out that I could fly, and kinda effortfully jumping into the air to float/hover, figuring out the mechanics of my power, and then kinda taking off. It was a moving experience.

This was... I don't know. I'm in complete awe. It felt so powerful.

I woke feeling comforted, immediately able to release whatever worries I had. I've cried it out a bit. I started worrying what that meant about my dad... Like... why didn't he say anything in the dream... did Dream Dad simply bring my grandpa to me to cheer me up... And the unthinkable of... is he going to join my grandpa soon, hanging out with him and watching basketball... Do I need to be prepared...

It's particularly meaningful with my grandpa because when he passed, I kind of knew. I had felt it before I got the news. I'm not a particularly spiritual person, so that experience really impacted me. I was living in Chicago at the time while going to grad school. In the weeks before my grandpa's death, my light bulb was flickering, and I kept putting off replacing it because I was staying with my uncle and didn't want to inconvenience him; I would need a ladder to switch it out, so I figured I'd wait until it was completely out and he was free to show me where the ladder was and all that. One day, I was heading to class, on my way to the bus stop, when I realized that I had forgotten my phone. I NEVER forget my phone. EVER. But I was running late and figured I'd just make do. The day went by as usual, save for me being bored on the bus and train without music to listen to. And then when I got home, I flipped on my light switch, and the bulb was out. Immediately after, my phone lit up on my bed, and my eyes were suddenly drawn to it. I wouldn't have seen it light up if my room hadn't been dark, and I wouldn't have heard it bc it was on silent. Something inside of me told me to brace, saying, "Lolo is gone." And when I picked up the phone, it was my mom calling me to tell me that he had passed.

It was my mom's birthday.

IRL AMOMK Teacher Yoongi and I were talking about some heavy family stuff today. My grandma's passing. Stuff on his end. And I mentioned that my family has weird coincidences with deaths. Like I said, my dad's dad passed on my mom's birthday in 2011. But also, my dad's dad passed on my mom's birthday in the 80s, and my mom's mom passed on my dad's dad's birthday in 2005.

So yeah, when it comes to deaths in the family, I read into things a bit.

I'm trying to focus on the feeling I had immediately after my dream tonight... That feeling of comfort, rather than a sign for me to prepare for something. Maybe me documenting this is also me trying to stay awake for a bit in case I do get some kind of emergency call. I did just check him on Facebook, and it says he's active, so he's probably just at work, scrolling through his feed.

I'm trying to balance this out with what we as a family use to balance these coincidences out -- that with each birthday, we acknowledge that life is a full circle, that birth and death are bittersweet bookends to amazing journeys.

I'm also thinking about what prompted my spiral... How today has been a heavy day for so many people I care about... And how I had this really poignant conversation with IRL AMOMK Teacher Yoongi about life, where he was processing some family stuff and said something that really meant a lot to both of us I think... And how that made me think of how my dad might say something similar... And how my mom told me that she had a dream about her dad passing shortly before or after he passed, a dream in which she was just sitting and talking to her dad, looked away, and when she turned back, he had suddey been replaced by my dad, as if they had been talking all along...

I don't know what it all means.

But I think I just needed to write all this out and be thankful that my grandpa visited me today to cheer me up.

To tell me that everything is going to be ok.

[perplexingluciddreams]

(aac video anon,,??)

thanks again! back with yet another question…like previously said, am also an autistic teen struggling with speech,

for context a bit of my situation:

the gradual loss, speech is getting harder + more like mumbling harder to understand-my voice is also very quiet but that’s normal for me :P), trying to talk but not communicating. your mention of the fatigue and slow heaviness with it relates to me, have never found other autistics who lost speech so haven’t known what to do😅

so if comfortable sharing, how did your family “react” or “adjust” + how did you adjust :)

also does prloquo2go have many different voice options? your voice sounds cool :) is it just female and male or are their unisex sounding voices too? o_o

cisgender who /hj

i am glad that me posting has been helpful to you! that's the main reason i started posting, and i'm also just as excited to find another autistic person who has the same/similar experiences.

my family are really fantastic and have been so incredibly supportive and wonderful during this process of losing many abilities and needing more and more help/support in daily life. when i reached the point of barely having any understandable speech left (i was relying mostly on single words and writing/typing at that point) i had several conversations with my parents where we discussed different options- obviously we settled on AAC, then i chose an app, etc. And at this point we weren't aware that my speech would continue to be lost, none of us knew what would happen... but AAC still seemed like the best option, even if i kept or regained some speech ability (the main point for me was that i could never communicate reliably through speech, even when i could speak. i often refer to "my mouth" as a separate entity to my mind, it really just does and used to say anything without any input from me!)

yes, there are quite a few voice options on proloquo2go!! i use "Liam" pitched to "Deep". it's an Australian little boy voice but it's just the one i like the tone of best, and i like Australian accents (even though i'm Scottish!). there's not any "neutral" voices but personally i think that having the option to change pitch and speed basically means any of the voices CAN be neutral sounding, if you want.

i'd love to make another video showing some voices if you'd like? i've also changed my system considerably since that last video - that setup was not working well for me, my fine motor skills have decreased even further so i use bigger buttons and different touch settings now. also more words available with less navigation.

i've also been looking into getting some switches (buttons to control the screen) and i've already explored the "using iPad screen as a switch" option. i can also show that if you'd like.

(also i know you said you like to remain anonymous, but my DMs are always open and i'd love to chat more if you feel comfortable. absolutely no pressure though, receiving asks always makes me do all the happy stims and noises, so you're very welcome to keep sending things here. maybe if you want to keep doing this you could come up with a quick way for me to identify you? like an emoji or initials? i think that would be really cool! and still anonymous but fun:D).

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 5

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Revenge is sweet but a well-timed dick joke is sweeter. xoxo gossip girl. Please supervise one Bucky Barnes on the internet. Questionable music taste. Detention is the price we pay for justice. Bruce Banner is too precious for this world, too pure.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​ @downeyreads​ @hermione-grangers-wife​ @individualistfem​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! 🎶🎵I love you biiitch ain't ever gonna stop loving you biiitch 🎵🎶

"Initiate phase one," I added a growly undertone to my whisper, holding my phone inconspicuously, as if I was making a simple phone call. There was no answer but I didn't expect one: I was testing the voice recorder app that I had downloaded for the sole purpose of documenting and relaying the inevitable fall of one Flash Thompson. 

Making my way through the crowd of students during the busiest time of the day, I made the most intrigued and outraged facial expression I possibly could. Spying my targets, I leaned against a nearby wall, putting a hand over my mouth in fake outrage, keeping my eyes wide and trained on the opposite wall. Just as I had predicted, the two sophomore girls started giving me side-eye by minute two of my staring and finally approached me as I contemplated the wall for whole five minutes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" The brunette asked, her blonde friend hanging a step back.

"Yeah, totally," I mumbled. "I'm, like, shook beyond imagination, but nothing, like, bad."

The girls traded a curious look, seemingly coming to some sort of conclusion. The greedy gleam in their eyes had me internally cheering. "What happened?" The blonde one asked, coming closer.

"I'm not sure if I should tell that to anyone," I stammered, watching them bodily move forward. "Well, okay, I can't keep quiet. But you must never, ever speak of it or I'll get expelled or something," I said nervously. They both nodded so rapidly it reminded me of Funko Pop figurines. "You know the senior guy, Flash? Brown hair, kinda hot?" Again, they both nodded, conspicuously grinning. "I think I just saw him in the closed girls bathroom on the third floor with, like, some brunette from Ms. Johnson's History class," They both gasped. Predictable. "But that's not the worst! They were like, y'know," I made an obscene gesture with my hand and they instantly covered their own mouths with their palms in shock. "And the chick was like 'is it in yet?' and he was like 'yah' and I just closed the door and ran, oh my god I hope they didn't hear me," I squealed at the end, playing the part of a mortified teenager.

All three of us giggled uncomfortably for a moment. The blonde girl stared at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing there?"

I faked a nervous stammer, looking around briefly and showing them my lighter for a moment. They both gasped and nodded in recognition. "Don't tell anybody or my mom is going to have kittens," I pleaded. Both of them nodded solemnly, noticing their own group of friends approach. I used the brief moment to get lost in the river of pupils and by the time they turned around to introduce me, I was already at the opposite part of the hallway.

For the time being, everything seemed peaceful. There were a few giggles and side-eyes directed towards Flash Thompson but nothing out of the ordinary. He was disliked by most of the student population even if nobody dared to admit it outright. I took care to walk around without my earbuds for the day and pulled out my phone to record the most interesting conversations around me whenever I caught the tell tale signs of a gossip mill beginning to run its course around the school.

"Oh my god, I heard about this girl that was caught fucking Flash in the girls bathroom and she literally said 'is it in yet', can you imagine the shock, jeez!"

"Some chick literally just rejected Flash because his dick was too small."

"Rebecca from AP chemistry told me someone saw Flash's micropenis. Poor guy!"

"I wonder if his girlfriend dumped him because he can't do shit, I mean, he doesn't look like the type to eat the kitty."

Those were just the highlights of the Friday afternoon. Come the weekend and the news of Flash's unfortunate condition will make the rounds through every single group chat that the school has and by the time Monday rolls around, nobody will have a clue who started the rumour in the first place. I had to carefully select the girls who were to distribute the rumour and I was happy with the outcome: Marissa and Layla with their squad of chatty, bored rich girls were the perfect choice. I thought they would jump at any opportunity to cause drama and I was right.

It was sufficient to say I was bristling with pride as I cut and compiled the audio track from today's school day before sending it to the group chat.

Clint, Peter and Natasha appeared online as soon as the message delivered and I was delighted at their response. Romanoff's kind words, specifically, made me all warm and mushy inside. I didn't resist the feeling, basked in it even as I did a happy dance around my room. Peter's nonsensical string of emojis was another point of laughter for me. 

It wasn't exactly the smartest way to go about killing Thompson's reputation... Alas, simplicity is the way to success when it comes to large crowds of teenagers. That tiny little vindictive part of me was very much looking forward to the weekend and the results of the inevitable distortion of the rumour I had started. Who knew, maybe by Monday Flash Thompson would not only have a micropenis but horns and hooves as well.

Near bedtime, I had all the avengers send me their regards and thumbs up. I answered the flurry of texts as quickly as I could but there was no point in keeping up with ten or so people constantly streaming their questions, opinions and comments. 

I settled on a single easiest response: pulling my dad's old uni sweatshirt over my tiny lacy pajamas to preserve some modesty, I settled in front of my mirror, turning on my Bluetooth speaker to play "Boss Ass Bitch". In true gen-z fashion, I put on my best resting witch face and solemnly lip-synced to the song's eponymous chorus. My eyeliner was sharp enough to cut paper and my prismatic highlighter glittered enigmatically in the cold light of my blue lava lamp.

The response was, once again, delightful and I genuinely belly-laughed at the adults' attempts to meme after Peter. His blushy face emoji started a whole nother conversation that I didn't participate in but watched from the sidelines with glee, snorting every time his friends and mentors gently teased him about the very obvious crush he harboured on me. 

Seeing Peter starting to go absolutely nuts, I interjected with an offer (more like a dare) of a lip sync battle. He jumped on the bandwagon, immediately going offline to undoubtedly film an epic video of what I thought would be dorky-dancing to some hipster song. I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a pre-recorded tik tok video of him and Ned fighting with lightsabers while mouthing the words to Fergalicious that played over the Imperial March.

Weirdos. I still followed him on the app, though, it was pretty funny.

Bucky interjected with a very well executed rendition of "Bring Me to Life": he was wearing his full Winter Soldier get-up, complete with an AK-47, dramatically serenading Steve who looked seventeen shades of done with his partner's antics. Wanda's following twenty second voice message consisted of nothing but pure hysterical laughter, summing up everyone's reaction to the video. Bucky was going to go viral one of these days...

Obviously, I had good competition and nobody else seemed to want to participate so I rearranged my surroundings a little bit and stood up at my full height and swapped the old sweatshirt for a cute crop-top hoodie. My thigh-highs were on display and with my make-up, I looked like a proper internet e-girl. I leaned against the mirror as I mouthed along to the song with my best interpretation of the famous Lucifer smirk, seasoned with a tiny bit of angelic innocence: "Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you..."

Needless to say, I won the competition. Eventually Wanda joined in, looking menacing and ominous with her dark clothes and Natasha's red hair flashing somewhere in the background; even Tony did a round (AC/DC as his soundtrack of course) with one of his Iron Man suits but nothing beat my stunt and the reaction that it caused.

I had accidentally called out Bruce with the choice of my song and his teammates gave both of us a lot of cheeky comments about it. We relented and flirted with each other a bit as the conversation flowed into more mundane discussion; I said my good nights somewhere between Tony's bitching about the hobbies of my generation and my nightly skincare routine. The little green heart that I'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks greeted me just as I was about to lock my phone.

Bruce was really too precious for this world. My crush on him was different than the one on Tony, it mellowed out in comparison. I wanted him to hold me, to stroke my hair, to call me his darling and wrap me up in one of those dorky button-ups that he insisted on wearing in spite of Tony's unwanted, however very valid, fashion advice.

For all that's worth, the scientist probably knew or at least suspected and had the good grace to play along just enough to satisfy my deep need for attention... Without crossing any actual lines. It was frustrating, it was disappointing but I had virtually nothing to complain about. Besides, I didn't want to lose the quirky friendship that we had. Banner was, probably, the least judgemental person I knew and I wasn't about to trade that for an awkwardly stolen kiss.

Monday and Tuesday passed in a flurry of giggling and snorting every time Flash walked by. His girlfriend broke up with him, very publicly, accusing him of cheating and he didn't even deny it - just insulted her and stormed off, leaving even his friends looking lost and clueless. I started dragging Peter and his two pet nerds along with me just about everywhere I went in case Thompson decided to do something stupid again. If judging only by the looks he was throwing our little company, he was on his way to figuring out who began nibbling at his reputation.

The week was coming to an end and the rumour began dying off, slowly. That just didn't sit with me, I wanted the fucker gone. Due to the obvious time constraints, I approached MJ regarding Peter - after a brief argument, we came to an agreement regarding Peter's safety should I need to leave him alone in the hallways or at lunch. 

I needed to do this alone so if I got caught, I won't drag them down with me. Granted, I would probably get something like a suspension and the school will attempt to call my mother (she never picks up) but that's about it. That's where her reputation comes in handy-people consciously avoid dealing with her, she can be that unbearable.

But first, I needed to get a teacher that's on my side. After carefully considering the candidates, I settled on my Social Studies professor - he taught the college-level classes and was overall a very chill, nice dude. And he disliked bullies with a flaming passion. So it didn't take me long to work him into a righteous fury - just a quick chat over a cup of tea in his homeroom and a few pictures of Peter's bruised face, complete with my own pleading puppy eyes. We agreed Mr Davies would "accidentally" leave the teacher's lounge unlocked during third period and I would sneak in. The plan wasn't foolproof but if it worked, not only Flash, but also his whole misogynistic, bigoted family would go down.

As I was leaving, Mr Davies looked up at me with a bright smile: "Give them Hell, alright?" And I suddenly noticed he was, in fact, very attractive. The smile brought out the fine wrinkles around his mouth, the crow's feet around his eyes - he smiled a lot. Silver strands mixed in with the wooden brown of his hair.

I let my eyes slide over him briefly before baring my teeth in return. "I owe you one," I don't know what possessed me to say that. My mouth really had a mind of its own sometimes. The room suddenly became hot.

"Sure," He replied, totally oblivious.

On Friday, I made myself a small nest in the empty classroom opposite the teacher's lounge and sat waiting for the signal from Mr Davies - he'd tap on the door once and I'd quietly go inside the teacher's lounge, retrieve Thompson's file and make my way back to the empty classroom to grab my backpack and carry the file to my locker for further examination. 

The first part went successfully and I managed to snag Thompson's file. It was heavy and hefty, all the evidence of his rowdiness compiled into one flimsy plastic folder. There were A LOT of pink slips and I rejoiced internally: at least there was a paper trail of his exploits. The principal didn't do anything about it which was... If not against the rules then at least frowned upon; the plan was to take copies and anonymously submit them to the school board prompting at least an investigation into the blatant disregard for Flash's immoral and illegal behaviour.

On my way back I stumbled upon the principal herself which got me not only a stern talking to, but a whole detention for skipping class. Whatever, I was too elated from potentially ruining the life of a dumb fuck who ruined my friend's face.

Surprise came in the face of Mr Davies, who, having heard the commotion in the hallway, stepped out of his class and saw me being lectured by the principal. 

"I'll take her for the detention," I heard the familiar voice behind me. The principal nodded solemnly and I had no choice but to sigh in resignation. "Three thirty, be here," He nodded to me, walking back, looking way too smug for his own good. So I wasn't the only one excited about the successful completion of stage two of my nefarious plan. Cue evil laughter.

[museswithinx]

It was nice, having someone to bestow wisdom on. Zeus had a lot of time to reflect on what had transpired, and he would do things differently if given the chance. "They have certainly proved that time and again. Speaking of Mrs. McKay, I did hear she wanted to see me, so maybe you'll see me around there." He smiled as she mentioned her powers, knowing a little, tiny piece of his brother's magic lived on. "Brilliant, truly brilliant."

He laughed as she critiqued some of the things he did, but ultimately assessed he wasn't a bad guy. "I enjoy the company of women, what can I say? But I have discovered there is an app for that, so maybe I can make things right here and still have my women too." It was compromise, or something of that sort.

"That is music to my ears, darling," he replied, "I would love the opportunity to show you who I am and allow you to make up your mind. You have your family, I won't intrude on that--I know our relational line is very, very distant, but I would still like to know you. If you would like to know me?"

"She's a big Greek Mythology buff. One of her cats is actually named Herc. But that's my bestie's momma, so please behave. She's a nice lady and very happily married to Mr. McKay and he won't be at all tolerant of any shenanigans." Marina says hoping that he'd take that wisdom with him if he was going to approach her. As he commended her on the magic, she grins. "Thanks. It took a lot of practice to get under control though. My first snow attempt may have resulted in a huge blizzard slamming us."

She laughs as he states he enjoys his ladies. "Trust me, I've heard. There are quite a few apps for that and you can even specify what you're looking for... Or what you're not looking for. Some people just like to get on them to hook up, no strings, that sort of thing. If you stick with that, I don't think there'll be much issue."

Smiling, she nods. "Of course. I don't have a lot of family, it's just me and my parents, so I'm happy to get to know new family, distant or not." She said. "Plus I'm sure you're full of stories and I'd love to hear them sometime."

[apeanutsblog]

I'd love to hear the whole story!

Very well then, here goes. ( It's a long read)

Flack back to march of 2020, I'm just going through Facebook when a name I recognize, and had talked to years before suddenly popped up as active. I opened the chat and just kind of realized we'd talked before so I thought "hey, might as well check up on her and see how she's doing".

I left her a decent text, saying how it's such a surprise to see her active after so long (she'd just gotten busy with school and all), I said I hope she's doing good and well and wished her a good day ahead. I left it at that, absolutely not expecting anything from it and just kind of forgot about it. Until, a day or two later, I get a reply, and from then on we started talking. It was slow at first, we'd pretty much just only reply to what the other person had said but a week or so later we started talking daily, found a lot of common interests and just absolutely enjoyed talking to each other.

We talked like this for a solid month or so before texts became phone calls (whenever we could talk) and those phone calls would end up lasting multiple hours. Me and her being the open minded people we are, ended up talking about sexual things like say, what we find attractive and what are out turn ons and turn offs. Those conversations eventually lead to having this extremely intense sexual attraction to each other and it was just way too much for us to have control over. We started sexting whenever we talked and we both absolutely loved it. Slowly, those sexting sessions on text turned into phone sex, and would often last very long. We'd exchange pictures, videos etc.

Just like that I slowly but surely ended up catching feelings for her, she was absolutely my type, everything I could imagine I wanted in a woman, she had it. And I just couldn't help myself. Let's say 2 or 3 months into it, mind you it's been a 2 months already since we started talking, I confessed my feelings for her, she couldn't reciprocate those feelings and in understood, but then I also didn't want to lose her as a friend because she was a good friend to me. She understood, one thing I liked about her. And we continue talking.

Later on, we both really wanted to meet each other and we did. We didn't go anywhere far because she had strict parents, so I met her near her house and we just hung out for an hour or so and walked around. We still had those intense sexual feelings for each other and we're kinda nervous with butterflies in our stomach and just shy over all. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. There was this moment when I caught a glimpse of her eyes in the sun and my heart just melted right then and there. And I couldn't do anything about it. Afterwards, the sexting and phone calls became even more frequent. We soon decide to meet up one day, she came to my house one morning and we were just in my room, sitting on my bed and she just suddenly made the first move and leaned in and kisses me. Things escalated and got quite intense, and will all the feelings of attraction it just felt good.

A few weeks later, I got an opportunity to go over to her place. I went there and we were just sitting awkwardly and I had a smirk on my face and she asked me what's up? I told her nothing. She insisted I tell her so I did, I said " I just really want to kiss you right now", she replied " I want you to", so I did, I lost my virginity that day but since I was my first time it was just a mess and all confusing. But fun and exciting nonetheless.

Fast forward a week later, I'm back over at her place and I came prepared this time. And we both were just ready to get down to business, and that day, gosh, the sex was so fucking good I'll never forget it. This then became a frequent almost weekly thing, maybe even twice a week if possible. This went on for months but through the sex and all, I still kind of wanted a relationship and she couldn't. So we just kept it at friends with benefits. But she had interest in other men and we'd talked that if she were to find a guy suitable for a relationship we'd stop talking because our feelings of attraction just exceeded the normal and it would get in between of her and her potential relationship, but then we also just couldn't stop talking to each other, it was as if we were both addicted to one another. And we just wanted our dose of it.

We tried to stop talking but always came back. This is about 5 or 6 months in, we took a lot of each other's time and it was just getting in the way of thing we needed to do. But we couldn't stop talking to each other. And I suppose somewhere along the line it became a little toxic for the both of us but we looked passed that due to our feelings of attraction to each other and this went on until about month 8 or 9.

Around month 9, she had a dating app and found a guy she matched with, wasn't expecting anything from it but as she talked more and more with him she became fond of him and saw the potential of a relationship with him. Around the same time I was leaving town for a week or so for a trip, we still talked, but when I left for the trip around the start of January of 2021, due to not having network I couldn't talk to her and she then instead talked to the guy from the dating app and grew closer and closer to him and he to her. Due to my powerful intuition I already knew that things were changing. And I'd lost her and she was pulling away from me. So the talking slowly stopped there.

By the time I got back to town she was completely over me and now falling for this new guy, I was sad about it but I understood. I did however tried to convince her to atleast keep talking or be friends but that was a risk she wasn't willing to take due to our now past, and how we couldn't stay away from each other. So through a mutual agreement, we ended it and stopped talking. I knew her for a good 10 months, part of me is glad I got that opportunity, part of me is sad about it sometimes and another part of me understands the lesson to be learnt from this and moves on. Never to look back. And soon after I moved a new and different country entirely.

After that whole ordeal she'd text me sometimes for whatever reason and I'd only feel nauseated by it. Over time I thought about it and it's just funny how a girl that used to give me butterflies now makes me feel nauseous.

Anyway, that's the story of how that went. I hope you enjoyed reading, sorry if it's way too long but I warned you. It took me a good hour and maybe a little more to write all this. Thank you for the question and the constant support. I really appreciate it. Follow up questions are most welcome

Love y'all, take care. Have a good day.

[bumblesimagines]

My Strange Addiction

Song fic! Song by Billie Eilish

Don't ask questions you don't wanna know

Learned my lesson way too long ago

To be talking to you, belladonna

Shoulda taken a break, not an oxford comma

Take what I want when I wanna

And I want ya

Veronica stared at the resident bad boy. She had seen and dated plenty in her past but there's was something different about (Y/N). Maybe because she was looking for a rebound after her break up with Archie.

Bad, bad news

One of us is gonna lose

I'm the powder, you're the fuse

Just add some friction

Veronica smiled coyly, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. (Y/N) chuckled.

"You can't fool me, Lodge." Veronica raised her brow.

"As much as I'd love to stay and flirt, I'm in the mood for a hookup, not a fight with Andrews." (Y/N) said.

"Then we'll do that." Veronica said, placing her hand on his chest and gently twirling his dog tag around her finger.

You are my strange addiction

You are my strange addiction

My doctors can't explain

My symptoms or my pain

But you are my strange addiction

The game had changed. Veronica was starting to become jealous of the girls and boys (Y/N) flirted with. Making Archie jealous didn't even cross her mind anymore. She almost forgot about him if it weren't for the fact that she saw him at school.

"What's up, V? If you've been sulking for the past few minutes." Jughead said. Veronica shook her head.

"Nothing, Jug." She said.

Deadly fever, please don't ever break

Be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate

And it burns like a gin and I like it

Put your lips on my skin and you might ignite it

Hurts, but I know how to hide it, kinda like it

"Ginger's cute, isn't she?" Veronica stopped brushed her hair, looking at (Y/N) in the mirror as he slid on his jacket.

"I think she's seeing someone." Veronica said, picking up a box and approaching him.

"Here." She smiled. (Y/N) took it, opening it.

"A watch?" (Y/N) looked at her.

"Why?" Veronica shrugged.

"We're friends, right? I like to spoil my friends." Veronica watched him put it on.

"Thanks." He said. Veronica nodded, kissing his cheek.

Bad, bad news

One of us is gonna lose

I'm the powder, you're the fuse

Just add some friction

Veronica hopped into (Y/N)'s arms after the game.

"We won! Can you believe that?!" She smiled. (Y/N) chuckled, nodding. Veronica cupped his face, leaning in.

"Mija? Who's this?" Hermione asked. (Y/N) placed her down, glancing at Hiram.

"This is (Y/N)-"

"A friend." (Y/N) finished for her. Veronica glanced at him, slightly disappointed. Hermione hummed.

"I'm Hermione." She shook his hand. Hiram eyed him.

You are my strange addiction

You are my strange addiction

My doctors can't explain

My symptoms or my pain

But you are my strange addiction

Veronica looked over her period tracker app.

"I'm gonna start taking birth control." Veronica said, looking at (Y/N). It was a lie. She wanted his attention and affection and a baby would help that. (Y/N) hummed.

"That's nice." He replied, unaffected.

"You know... Your dad offered me some money the other day." (Y/N) said. Veronica faced him.

"What?"

"He said he'd pay me if I dated you." Veronica blinked.

"Did you take the money?"

"I said I'd think about it." (Y/N) reached down, picking up his boxers. Veronica watched him get dressed.

"I'll see you around, Lodge."

Bite my glass, set myself on fire

Can't you tell I'm crass?

Can't you tell I'm wired?

Tell me "Nothing lasts"

Like I don't know

You could kiss my as-king about my motto

"I don't know what you told your dad but anytime I try to get close with someone, they're chased off." (Y/N) crossed his arms.

"He wants us together. Maybe we should listen-"

"And be in a one-sided relationship? I agreed to be fuckbuddies because of the fuck part. Not to get together with you." (Y/N) interuppted. He shook his head, walking away. Veronica bit her bottom lip and looked at her friends.

You are my strange addiction

You are my strange addiction

My doctors can't explain

My symptoms or my pain

But you are my strange addiction

"I can't fucking believe my parents agreed to that shit."

"What shit?" Veronica asked, innocently.

"The whole marriage thing when we're out of high school. I don't love you, Veronica!" (Y/N) exclaimed.

"You will. Eventually." Veronica smiled, pecking his cheek. Archie really dodged a bullet, didn't he?

[alwaysabeautifullife]

I know it's your prerogative as a parent to listen to and ignore advise on how to raise your kids as you see fit, but I'd strongly encourage you to get your kids off of Snapchat, or at least look more closely at both the ethics of the company and the app itself. There's so much pro-porn sentiment and sexually explicit materials in the stories function that they can just access in the stories function -- Cosmo and vice are the two most concerning I can think of. 1/2

I use Snapchat myself, and I’ve heard a lot of the scares around Catholic circles about snap chat. I even saw a post about it with a priest “warning” parents about Snapchat. BUT the biggest thing I hear parents saying is “the chat disappears right away, there’s no history”. This implies that the parents fear most isn’t actually the safety of their children, but their control over them. They want to maintain the ability to snoop through their phone and read messages, I strongly am against that except for in an emergency situation where I believed my child was in absolute danger. Even with all that said, it isn’t difficult to delete messages period.

The stuff you mentioned is on every platform, including Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube and Tumblr. The worst of it is often yes cosmo “sex advice”, ads, and celebrities and whatever they are doing this week (which is can be degrading and can make people have unrealistic body or beauty standards).

They will see this stuff everywhere, on their phones or their friends phone, on tv and at school, on the news, magazines, and every where on the internet. So I asked myself this, “how do I prepare my children to be adults?” Should I take away their phones, internet, PlayStation or Xbox, tv, music, and even books to “protect” them from the trash in the world? Will that make adult that are capable of making good decisions when they are approached with the trash of the world? Essentially Snapchat is no different than tumblr, actually I firmly believe tumblr is far worse.

The biggest thing right now, is they are being exposed to this everywhere at their age now. What I need to do for their age (teens, 14 and 16) is give them the tools to protect themselves mind/body/soul. We talk, a lot. I trust my kids. A lot. I have told them that if there is an app that is responsible for harming them, in any way, they are responsible for deleting it themselves. They don’t have to tell me why, they don’t have to tell me they deleted it, they are in charge of themselves and need to develop the ability to have self control and be disciplined. I cannot hover over their life and make decisions for them.

I have spoken to them often about how harmful porn has been in my own personal life, I have spoken about how it degrades men and women and how women/men who are in porn are abused, unable to leave the industry, get sexual diseases, addictions, and obviously sexual and physical abuse.

They have the information, they have the tools. They have my trust and the ability to make their own conscious decisions for their own well being. My job is not to control my children, in this world, I can protect them, but only to a certain extent. With the world at their fingertips, I can only give them the tools.

What leads others to sin/harm isn’t always the same for everyone. Some people probably shouldn’t even watch tv tbh. Some are tempted with money, some are not, some are tempted with body images, some are not, it’s different for everyone. It’s amazing that you were able to recognize that an app was doing you harm, and the ability for you to recognize that is something you had to form overtime. Imagine how much more easier it would have been for you to do if you had learn to avoid materials like that when you were in your teens rather than adulthood?

For myself as a teen, my parents were not religious, but they were extremely overprotective and did not trust me. Internet wasn’t as accessible as it is now, but they did absolutely everything to make sure I was fully controlled. They listened into my phone calls, read my diary, wouldn’t let me stay at my friends, have boyfriends, wear makeup. What hurt me the most was they always believed I was this sexually active girl who couldn’t think for herself, who couldn’t make decisions or protect herself. Do you know what I did? I did all the things my parents suspected me doing when I wasn’t before. Because if they thought that way of me, why not? If they thought I was sexually active when I wasn’t, why avoid sexual activity. If they thought I was doing drugs or drinking, why not do it? And since I didn’t trust my parents, and they didn’t trust me, I got myself into situations where I couldn’t ask for their help or advice. I had questions I never came to them when I should have had the opportunity. They didn’t prepare me for my future by controlling me and claiming the were “protecting me”.

I do realize that this is an unpopular opinion, and a lot of catholic parents have disagreed with this, and that’s ok. The thing is though, I do very much trust my children. Which is a difference for many parents out there.

The kids that have Snapchat are 14 and 16 to clarify. I don’t let my children have social media apps until 12-13 depending on their own maturity. I share some apps with my younger children however (YouTube, Instagram as examples).

I’m sure lots of people will read this and thing “ok so she lets her children do whatever they want???” And I assure you, that’s not the case, so I hope no one reads that and jumps to that conclusion.

For the most part however, my children use it to communicate with their friends, but usually they aren’t on their phones believe it or not, they are typically with their friends, playing games at home, keeping busy. I do feel as though if they did have something to hide, they wouldn’t sit next to me and use Snapchat or their phones. I really truly respect them and their privacy, and as a parent I can only hope they make only good decisions as a teen and adult, but hey, Im not Mary and they aren’t Jesus. They do their best, and so do I.

[ishu074991]

I hail from a small town from a middle-class family and I'm obsessed with collecting varieties of liquors. My parents were at our hometown but I was stuck with my sister at Banglore, in my apartment due to the Lockdown issues.

I've stashed several alcoholic beverages just for the zeal of collecting them, and the collection was safely hidden in my wardrobe. The one only I'd access to.

But she figured it all out, she even managed to get her hands on the keys and being a party animal, somehow surviving without a single drop of alcohol for the past one month has a bad effect on her psyche she's gone nuts and had been acting all weird lately.

I personally, am not addicted but I drink, occasionally. Always in a limit and quite familiar with my stamina and capacity.

Later that night I woke up to take a piss. I went into the bathroom, did tinkle, and came back. I snuggled myself under the blanket and right when I was about to close my eyes I notice my wardrobe open, the stockpile was gone.

"Ohh Fish," I cursed and sprang up on my feet.

I rushed into the hall as I knew who could've done it. But I didn't have to barge into her bedroom, she's sitting on the couch like some kind of queen having all the alcohol from the world at her disposal. I open my mouth to speak up.

"Don't!!" She shushed, with her palm facing me.

She's probably drunk, I could tell by her tumbling movements and gestures and her surly voice. I noticed a half-empty bottle.

"Whoa, lady this is all mine, you best back off... I'm getting a little pissed here," I snarled and reached out to the bottles.

"They're on their way," She mutters to herself.

"What? Who're they?" I exclaim.

"Your friends," She says coolly.

"You've never met any of them, you don't have their contacts," I knew it was true, or at least I thought it was.

I've struggled real hard to keep my beautiful sister a secret from my pervert friends. All they know is that I have a sister, but they didn't know that she's here or ever have been.

"Stop fooling yourself, it's over now... stop being a jerk" She retaliates, waving my phone in her hand and playing with it.

She must've used my fingerprint when I was asleep I thought, there's a special group for all my seven friends from Banglore. Shit, this was a nightmare. My sister and my friends, lots of alcohol to drink and get hight. Shit, shit, shit. The situation was getting out of my control I couldn't think of what else to do.

"Give it to me now!!" I yell and snatched back my phone.

She didn't protest and I opened the what's app group immediately, and there it was too many "cheers emojis." I scrolled, to read the message from my number.

It said: "Hey guys, wanna party? Come to my place... I've got a lot of booze and a pair of boobs for you" followed by several heart-eyes emoticons. That wasn't just it, I scrolled a few more messages since she has had some random chats with them impersonating me and I saw an image, a Selfie without a face and I saw her melons. For the first time in my life, I looked t her and then back at the picture. I realized, they seemed even bigger when naked.

I started typing a text right away, trying to circumvent this problem somehow, I typed: "It was a prank... go back to sleep.."

A message chimes in: "We're already here!!!"

"Ughhh, Sister you've messed up a big-time!!" I grunt, exasperated, my breaths and heartbeat chugging another notch, "Just go inside your bedroom and lock the door, understood!" I said, grabbing her arms and yanking her off the couch.

"Fine, Fine..." She flinched herself out of my grasp.

She went into her bedroom and I heard the door shut and hinges click. I didn't expect her to give up so easily but strangely, she did. I heard the knock on the door. I took a few deep breaths and regained my composure and reached out to open the door.

"Are bhai bhai bhai," One of them starts hugging me, most of them shouldered their way inside with a wicked smile on each one of their face.

"Kamaal kar dia bhai, Raand jogaad di bhai k liye woh bhi daaru ke sath, Gajabb!! Sabbash mere cheetah, saabbash..." One of them pats my back, too hard.

"Chal bhai time khota na kar, Daaru to your h... Woh Saali Raand kaha hai?" The third guy blurts out.

"Umm, Ahh... She, she's getting ready!!" I answered, and only then I realized that I've already a boner for my sister.

[ketzwrites]

Ketz, my talented friend, having seen your prompt list, I just HAD to make a suggestion - but feel free to ignore, if the idea fails to float your boat! I'd like to see you tackle a Malec fic (*surprise, surprise*) with the combo of #89 and #112!! You're so good at doing these, off the cuff! Love & hugs!;-))

Thanks for letting me use your prompt, darling

This is a follow up to this drabble. Please read this one first.

“If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.” + “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”

Alec arrived at precisely 6 pm like he said he would. Thankfully, Magnus worked from home and so he was already ready when he heard the knock on the door. Everything was ready for recording and he had some tea and coffee done too. Poor Alec had texted him earlier after Magnus had sent him the questions he was planning to ask, and Alec had made so many anxious typos, it could not be just the autocorrect as he claimed.

“Alexander, hi,” Magnus said as he opened the door. Alec looked as gorgeous as always in a simple denim shirt and black pants. “Please, come in.”

“Hey.” Alec smiled a little and passed through him, looking around. “Nice place.”

Magnus smiled fondly. “Thanks, darling. I usually record things on the couch, but since this is such a lovely night, I thought we could do it on the balcony.” He walked up to the glass doors and opened it, gesturing to the open sky.

Straight to the point, no time wasted with pleasantries. Somehow, Magnus thought that was the right approach with Alec. He assumed he was correct when the art director’s smile widened. “Sounds great.” Alec joined Magnus at the balcony. “The view is spectacular.”

“Thanks,” Magnus said with a wink. “And there’s the New York skyline too, that isn’t quite bad either.”

Alec’s chuckle lit up his whole face and he accepted the coffee that Magnus offered. He had settled down nicely on one of the chairs Magnus had set on the balcony and was examining the camera angle with a thoughtful expression.

Magnus sat down on the other chair and smirked. “Tell me what’s on your mind, darling.”

Blinking like a child caught doing mischief, Alec cleared his throat to regain his composure. “It’s just… Is it supposed to look like that? From that angle, the camera will focus way more on me than you.”

“That’s the idea.”

“Are you sure?” Alec frowned, seeming sincerely surprised. “I mean, your fans want to see you.”

A lazy smile crossed Magnus’ lips. “When what about your fans? This could possibly be your breakthrough moment, Alexander. The spotlight should be on you.” He frowned, an idea forming on his head and gestured toward the camera. “But please, feel free to adjust the angle to your liking. We are here to talk about your vision and I think a practical demonstration will be the perfect example.”

Alec looked at him with an uncertain expression on his face, but then stood up and got behind the camera. Slowly and with attentive care, he shifted it just slightly until a satisfied smile spread on his lips. “I like it this way.”

“This way it is, then.” Magnus sipped his tea. “I usually have Dot, my camerawoman, help with recording, but this time it will be just you and me. I want you to know you and I will be the only ones involved in the creation and execution processes. If in the end, you decided you don’t want me to post this interview, nobody else will ever know it exists.”

“Thank you,” Alec said as he took his place again. “That’s very… That’s very nice. I appreciate it.”

Smiling fondly, Magnus pushed the bottom on his phone’s app that turned on the camera. “I’m gonna do my scripted intro as I always do on interviews, introducing you and your work, and then we’ll start, okay?” Alec nodded, though his face was a mask of anxiety. Magnus smiled. “Spill it out, Alexander. You look like you’re about to be sick.”

“Nervous,” was all Alec managed to say. It wasn’t that he was shy, not at all. Magnus bet it had more to do with which side of the camera Alec was. He certainly seemed very at easy when he was doing the recording instead of being recorded himself.

“Alright, close your eyes. Focus on my voice.” Magnus waited for Alec to do as instructed. “Remember, you have the control here. This recording will never see the light of day if you’re not a hundred percent happy with it. Besides, it’s just me. Silly Magnus Bane and his silly sparkly outfits.”

Alec frowned at that last part, still with his eyes closed. “That’s not really helping with making me less nervous. And you’re not silly.”

Now, what was that all about? Magnus made a mental remark to find out later. “Then think about it as our first date. A blind date, set up by our imaginary mutual friends. The part of the date where I ask a bunch of questions about you.”

Magnus could see the protest on Alec’s lips, but then the art director nodded. “I think I can do that.”

And Alec was right. It still took him a few minutes to relax, but eventually, Alec was laughing and answering Magnus’ questions calmly. He had definitely done his homework and his responses were concise and yet, very thorough. They talked and laughed and – Magnus realized after a while – flirted, for over two hours. The more Alec talked about his work, the more passionate he was. And more enthralling too. Magnus could have spent the entire night there, listening to him.

But sadly, the questions ended and youtube was not a reality show to be showing hours of content. The interview closed with Magnus thanking Alec and wondering how he was going to compress all the content into a fifteen-minute video.

“I think I can help you with that,” Alec said once the camera was off. Even if he had relaxed as the interview went on, it was only when the light was off that he truly looked at ease. That sweet man. “With editing, I mean.”

Magnus blinked. “I’d love that but, darling, I was going to do it now. I always edit right after I record, so the ideas are all fresh. This will take all night long.”

Alec pushed his lips together, thinking. “Then I guess we should order some food.”

Two large pizzas and a few bottles of beer later, they had a beautiful seventeen-minute interview ready to be posted. The longest interview Pandemonium ever got. Both Magnus and Alec were spread on Magnus’ huge bed, tired but utterly satisfied with the final product.

“So, shall I post it?” Magnus asked. He was laying on his stomach, youtube channel open and just waiting to hit the ‘post it’ button.

Biting his lower lip, Alec looked around the room. At some point during the night, he had ditched his shoes and sat beside Magnus. His shirt was completely wrinkled from lying on the bed and his hair was a mess after hours of brushing his fingers through it. He looked free.

“If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me,” Alec said. He inhaled deeply. “They had a hard time getting over the fact that I’m gay and out. Being a lawyer is what still make them proud of me. This interview… I say I’m an art director on it. I say that’s what I really want to do. What makes me happy. It could change my life forever.”

Magnus waited, giving him the time to think. The deal still stood; one word from Alec and all the videos would go to trash and never spoke of again.

But then Alec slammed the ‘post it’ button himself. “I guess I choose to be happy over making them proud by being miserable.”

“I know it’s not the same,” Magnus said and laid his hand over Alec’s, holding it tight, “but you make me very proud, Alexander. Thank you for being so brave.”

“Thank you for helping me be brave,” Alec smiled and laced their fingers together.

That video hit the hundred thousand views mark in under two days. Alec’s name, his real name, was all over the industry’s news. With Magnus Bane’s endorsement, he went from unknown art director to a must addition to a number of multimillionaire movies. Alec’s answers and his sincerity got him the opportunity he needed to change careers if he so desired to.

It also helped that Alec was gorgeous. His fanbase grew exponentially, even if he was no actor. Magnus was surprised – and very amused – to realize at least a third of the comments on the video were about their flirting. Some people were even referring to Alec as ‘Magnus’ art director boyfriend’.

Well, he wished.

Just a day after the video passed the million views mark, Magnus received a call from Alec. “Hello, my favorite celebrity.”

“Funny,” Alec said and his voice was a little tense. “So, my parents saw the video. They were… quiet about it.”

“Is that good?” Magnus frowned, worried.

But Alec huffed in indifference. “It’s better than I expected. Anyway, I… I kind of realized something. We did the part of the date where you ask about me, but Magnus… We never did the part of the date where I ask about you.”

Magnus gasped. “Alexander, are you asking me out?”

“I am. But no cameras this time.”

“It’s a deal, darling.” Magnus giggled. “This time it will really be just you and me.”