#I'd still like to see a filmed prod. BUT

[the-tenth-arcanum]

I'm sorry to be basic but I do think verdi peaked with the trilogy. possibly rigoletto. my 2 cents

[doll-for-you-11]

This is a long one...

Its the middle of the night. 2 or 3am. Im bored and horny and its gotten to the point I'd do anything anyone told me to do.

I get a random DM some twisted message about wishing he could rape me in the middle of the street while all of my neighbors film it.

My cunt is dripping and none of the normal porn is getting me there. I decide to do something about it.

I strip naked. My pussy dripping down my thighs, I walk outside. My street only has one light, its dark and silent as I walk out to it. Sitting under the light, I close my eyes. Squeezing my tits, rolling my nipples, moaning softly as i trail a hand to my soaked cunt.

Its so wet I can hear it before Ive even pressed a finger inside. Knowing im outside, naked, where anyone could find me is making me hornier than ive ever been.

Just rubbing my slick around the outside of my hole, my clit throbbing, desperate to be touched. More and more slick seeping out, staining the pavement under me.

I slowly push a finger in, moaning at the feeling. My eyes still closed. I begin to pump in and out. Slowly but as deep as I can. Adding a second finger. All I can hear is the noise of my cunt gushing around them as I finger fuck myself in the street.

Just as I'm about to reach down and rub my clit as well, panting and moaning I dont hear the footsteps behind me.

My mouth hanging open, my head tilted back, Im about to cum when Im suddenly choking. My eyes fly open to see a blur of denim as a cock is forced down my throat. He holds the back of my head, forcing himself balls deep as I gag. Trying desperately to push him away but hes too strong.

He begins to skull fuck me. Ruthlessly ramming into my throat, using my hair to push and pull my head onto his cock. Forcing his full length to fill my windpipe with each thrust.

I try to focus and breathe through my nose. Just as I get the hang of it to keep myself breathing i feel the toe of his boot press roughly into my cunt. My legs spread around him, he pushes his foot against me. My clit rubbing against it painfully as he forcefully takes my mouth.

After what feels like forever he rips his cock from my throat, throwing me to the ground.

Dizzy, i try to catch my breath but before i can he's already on top of me, flipping me onto my stomach and kneeling on the small of my back. He pulls my wrists behind me and I feel something cold, wire maybe, being bound around them from wrist to elbow. Pinning them against my back, my shoulders pulled together painfully.

I feel his weight shift back so he's sitting over my knees. A hand forces its way between my thighs, thick fingers prodding against my fuck hole. I cant help but moan as two stretch my tight cunt. They feel so much bigger inside than mine did.

He grunts, his other hand reaching up and around my neck. Choking me as he fucks me with his fingers.

I still havent seen his face. I gasp as he hits a spot inside me I could never reach myself.

How have I gotten here? So desperate to feel something new I put myself in this situation. I went outside, naked to fuck myself like a pathetic whore. I wanted this. Part of me hoped this would happen. Id be manhandled and used out in the street like a prostitute.

But no, im worse. Im letting him do this for free. I wanted him to take me against my will. I wanted him to ruin me.

His hand on my neck gets tighter, he adds another finger. The stretch hurts but I like it. Its not long before I feel it building, my body tenses and just as Im about to cum, he stops. I whine like a bitch in heat. Waiting for him to flip me over and beat me or fill me with his cock but it doesn't come.

My arms are still bound but as I roll over I see no one. He got me to the edge and then left me face down on the pavement.

I wait a bit longer, but he doesn't come back. I force myself to get up and walk home. Spend the rest of the night getting the wire off my arms.

I look in the mirror, spit and tears coating my face, my body dirty and scraped from the ground. My cunt dripping down my legs. Im nothing but a disgusting whore. And all I care about is that I didn't get more.

I call out of work, spending the entire day fucking myself. Using every toy I have, the shower head, flogging my own cunt, but nothing is enough. I need him to use me again.

The next night I do it again. 2am, I strip naked and go out to sit under the street lamp. I sit on my hands and knees, ass in the air for what feels like hours, but he never comes.

The sun is rising by the time I give up and return home. It goes on like this for the next week. Fucking myself all day and sitting ready to be taken all night but it never happens.

Im exhausted by now, my body so desperate to be fucked that I cant take it. I try again, but this time the exhaustion takes over and I pass out.

I don't know how long I'm out, but I wake up tied to the lamp post, my tits being beat with a cane. I scream, but my mind is beyond excited. He finally came back. He's going to use me!

My cunt is dripping and ny desperation clouds the pain. I begin moaning as he canes my tits. He hits them harder and the pain makes me moan louder. I hear the cane drop as he straddles me and forces his cock into my mouth. Face fucking me again, slamming my head into the post im tied to.

I gag and choke around him, but my pussy only drips more. He pulls out, pumping himself, coating my face and tits in thick ropes of cum and I finally see his cock.

He's massive. So big I dont understand how he fit in my mouth. As I gape at his cock I hear him chuckle. He kneels down so we're face to face. "It only fit because I wasn't hard when I started. Id say you're in for a painful fuck, but you're such a little pain slut I bet youll love it." He slaps me accross the face.

"What kind of disgusting whore fucks herself in the street? Hmm? The kind that moans when shes having her slutty milk bags caned? The kind that's so desperate for my cock she sits out her every night with her ass in the air waiting to get railed? The kind thats so desperate to cum she hasnt slept in a week because shes been abusing her cunt all day every day?" He talks to me like a dumb puppy, pouting as he holds my chin, letting me know he's been watching me all week, letting me degrade myself for him.

"Tell me what you want my little rape whore" he coos, groping my bruised tits, making me wince and moan.

"I...I want you to make me cum" I moan quietly, grinding my hips, trying to press my legs together.

"You wanna cum?" He laughs. He bends my legs up, grabbing more rope and tying my legs bent and spread. My dripping, red cunt open on display for him.

"You dont get to cum. Whores dont get to cum. And youre a whore" he slaps my clit roughly, making my body jolt.

"See, if youd been a good girl and stayed inside. Not come back out here like a desperate little cumdump. I would have broken in, raped you properly, filled that little pussy up with my cum, and we both would have been happy" he says continuing to slap and flick my cunt.

"But you just had to be a disgusting dirty depraved little cunt" he says Slapping me accross the face to push each word "and dirty cunts dont get to feel pleasure, though you're so disgusting even hurting you brings you pleasure so Im not sure how to punish a slut like you"

The way he says it sounds like he's used to situations like these. It makes me wonder how many times he's done this. Raped and tortured little sluts on the street. It seems so natural to him. Tying me to a light post and abusing me.

The thought makes me moan and he laughs again. He stands and begins to walk away and I panic. He can't leave me without using me again!

"Please no! Please! I need you to rape me! I need you to use me! I dont care if I cum, but please I need your cock!! Ive been dreaming of it for the last week!"

I yell after him, whining and crying pathetically. He turns, laughing at me. "You really are pathetic. Ive never met such a disgusting cunt. I told you you werent cumming. But I cant pass up abusing a bitch like you. Sit tight my little whore, ill be right back."

I watch as he walks around the corner. A few minutes pass and a truck pulls up, the headlights blinding me as I hear the door open and he's standing in front of me with a duffle bag.

He opens it, digging around before pulling a cattle prod from it. My eyes go wide and I begin to shake my head, trying to get away but I can't move an inch the way im bound. He pulls out a self fucking dildo and some duct tape. Taping in in my mouth and turning it on, making me gag around it unable to scream as he turns on the cattle prod.

He leans close "im going to show you something even a pain slut like you wont moan about. Im going to make you regret asking for this, and Im going to make sure you dont enjoy one second of my cock when I get around to fucking you"

With that he presses the prod to my left nipple, the shock hurts so bad my whole body tenses in pain and before i can come down he hits the right one. Spit pours down my chin as the dildo fucks my throat, mixing with tears and staining my bruised tits.

He laughs as he shocks my tits and stomach, he hits my thighs and the bottoms of my feet. Telling me I should be thanking him for this. I asked for it.

Then he shoves it deep into my spread pussy. He makes sure to hit my clit and get it right in my fuck hole. Tears are pouring, im crying so hard im gagging harder than I ever have before.

He laughs as he holds it to my cunt, shocking over and over as my eyes roll back. I black out from the pain only to be smacked across the face hard enough to make me dizzy.

He throws the prod down, leaning down and grabbing my throat, I know he can feel the dildo as he squeezes. "You dont get to pass out cunt! Youre going to feel everything I do to you" he lets go and slaps me again before turning back to his bag.

The street light and his headlights create a spotlight over me in the darkness. My spread open abused body clear to see to anyone that looked out their windows. The later it gets the more cars I hear on the main road. I wonder if anyone will drive by and help me, or help him.

He comes back to me with a knife and laughs as i clench my eyes closed, but he only cuts my binds. My body so sore I cant try and run and he drags me by my hair onto all fours. Pressing my face to the ground, dildo still fucking my throat. He straddles my shoulders, facing my ass. His weight pushing my face and tits flat to the ground.

I feel something rough brush over my pussy lips, it feels like a course brush. "Dirty little whores need to be cleaned" he says, i can hear the grin as he speaks. "What better to clean you with than a toilet brush?"

My eyes widen as I try to struggle but I can't move as he begins shoving it up my cunt. My eyes water as he starts fucking my already abused cunt with the course brush.

He holds the handle with both hands, aggressively ripping it in and out of my cunt as he laughs. Calling me a disgusting whore that needs cleansing. By the time he stops I feel more than just slick on my thighs.

But he doesn't get off of me. Instead he says "next hole" and roughly does the same to my ass.

This time I do black out from the pain. I just can't take it. I dont know how long he rapes my ass for but when i wake up again he's standing over me with the cane, beating my ass black and blue.

He leans down pulling me to my knees by my hair and growling in my ear "i think its finally time to give you what you wanted"

Im so broken I can't focus on his words, my body limp for his control and he bends me over again and lines his cock up with my ruined pussy.

Despite the pain I sigh at the feeling. His cock fills my pussy so well. He rams into me as a bruising pace. It feels like he's going forever when he finally pulls me up, groping my tits and biting my neck, his cum exploding against my cervix. But again, just as im about to cum, he pulls out , throwing me to the ground.

"I told you, dirty rape cunts dont get to cum" he kicks my pussy and steps on my tits before dragging me down the street. He stops at my house and begins to tie me to the gate. Tits bound, arms behind my back and legs spread. He blindfolds me and leaves the dildo taped in my throat. I feel something long and wooden shoved up my ass, i assume it a broom or a rake and he slaps me again, something warm soaking my hair, his piss, as he slaps me with his cock and leaves.

I can see the light through the blindfold as the sun rises, i hear cars slow down as they pass me. People walk by taking pictures, playing with me. I couldn't tell you how long I was there before a car pulled up and i was cut down and loaded into it. Fucked mercilessly in the backseat.

I pass out before we stop but when I wake up im chained to a pipe in a bathroom, covered in cum and piss. A sign on the door says "Free for all Rape Whore". I guess this is my life now.

And all I can think is Thank you, to the man who showed me what a disgusting slut I was that first night.

[lynxgriffin]

Have you had any recent suselle ideas? I can't get enough of the two and I really hope that we see their interactions and relationship continue to grow in chapters 3 and 4.

Oh man, let's see here...honestly, a thing I'd really like to see with them is Noelle encouraging Susie to make something of her own. There's kind of the bones of that with the thrash machine, where Susie seems to like the idea of making a thing, but then quickly passes the actual work on to Kris and Ralsei. She might shrug that off as being too lazy to do work, but I get the feeling that she's actually reluctant to put work into anything because no one's ever given her praise for the stuff she's made herself, so she feels like she's only good at breaking things or forcing other people to do what she wants.

So maybe in an effort to steer Susie away from her embarrassing fanfictions, Noelle asks to see something Susie has made...a song, a short story, a dumb 30-second film, whatever. And Susie doesn't really have anything to show for that, so Noelle keeps prodding her to try and make something of her own. Eventually Susie relents and steals borrows Kris's phone to make a video where she pops out to scare Snowy or such...gotta still prove how scary she is! And she's reluctant to share it, because man it's just so stupid, she doesn't even know why she bothered...

And of course Noelle goes off gushing about what a great little horror moment it is, how Susie has got such a great understanding of timing and angles and it made her jump, too!

And Susie's brain is just absolutely melted by Noelle genuinely, sincerely complimenting her creativity, because she's never gotten that before. She's immediately excited about making more of that to show Noelle, and ropes Kris into it.

I just really like scenarios where they open up to each other and become happier people through their relationship! I hope we get to see more development of it in the next chapters, too! I'm guessing we won't see much in chapter three, but maybe we'll get a good chunk of new stuff in chapter four!

[supercap2319]

Y/N approached Archie and Reggie, who were lingering around in their jocks. Basketball practice was long over, but the two boys remained around in the locker room. They were still frosty over what happened to them a couple of days ago. That blue-blooded Julian Blossom had hoodwinked them out of their money for a stag film which turned out to be a wrestling film instead.

The promise of naked women is what they had been expecting to see, but it turns out it was two guys in wrestling gear rubbing all over each other. It was the kind of film that tickled Y/N's fancy, but he realized that wasn't for everyone. So, he felt bad for them both, and decided to help them get some revenge.

"What's up, fellas?" Y/N said.

They looked at him. "Oh, hey, Y/N. What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be home already?"

"I couldn't go home yet. Not without talking to you guys about what Julian did." Granted, Julian Blossom wasn't the one bragging all around telling everyone what he did. Fashioning a conn over two squares. Although, he did tell the basketball team, and they loved to poke and prod at them. Trying to get a rise at them. Frank Andrews had no idea that his nephew and star player were the victims of a deceiving situation. An embarrassing and homoerotic situation.

"I bet he thinks he's really funny, don't he?" Reggie growled.

"I bet he does. I'd sure like to clean his clock." Archie said.

"What if I could help you guys with that? We could get your money back, and revenge on Blossom." Y/N said.

They looked at each other, then back at Y/N, both clearly confused by that. "Is that right? Whatcha have in mind?" Archie asked.

Y/N smiled. "We lure him to the locker room tomorrow after practice. When he's all alone in his towel, and we demand that he give you guys your money back."

"And if he refuses?" Reggie asked.

"Then we spank him like in my favorite queer film. Trust me. He'll be so humiliated that he'll do whatever you want."

Archie and Reggie blinked in surprise. Y/N couldn't be serious could he? Then again, they had watched the wrestling flick, and even though they wouldn't admit out loud, they actually got turned on by it.

"You'd really do that for us?"

"I'd do anything to knock Blossom off his high horse."

"Deal." They shook his hand and smiled.

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! I'm really sorry to hear about your experience on Hill House. I do a lot of work in VFX in pre/prod/post and I know that sort of production that feels like a sinking ship day in and day out. I do hope you have found some catharsis now that it's over.

The show shook me. Changed me. Made me reckon with myself as a storyteller and as a person. All for the better, I assure you.

I hope to one day tell such an impactful story of my own, either through one of my short films, or through the novel series I'm writing/illustrating. Which brings me to my question: How do you navigate the complexities of having authored a work that did so much harm to yourself but also did a lot of good for others? What lessons do you hope aspiring storytellers like myself take from your difficult experience? Thanks :)

Thank you for saying this.

It's true, HILL HOUSE was a very negative experience to make - but I will always be profoundly proud of the finished product. It's some of my favorite work. I may never again face down something as challenging as episode 6, and I love the impact it has on a lot of its viewers.

There's a weird thing that happens when you finish a project - it really ceases to be yours in any way at all. It belongs immediately to the audience, and they're given an experience that you will never have. When HILL HOUSE came out, I didn't watch it - I'd seen it hundreds of times by that point, but at the same time, I've NEVER seen it.

Every frame of it is informed by my experience making it, or my intentions, or the compromises we made here, or the line we cut there that I wish we'd kept, or a bad day on set, or a problematic actor, or a visual effect we never quite got right (there are a LOT of those in HILL HOUSE, some of them still make me wince.) So I'm never able to WATCH the show. It's a tradeoff we make all the time - if you're lucky enough to make a movie, or a TV show, that's the price of it - you'll never be able to watch it.

But, I get to see how it affects other people. More than anything else I've made, HILL HOUSE seems to have the largest and most passionate fanbase. (BLY is a close second, though that's a whole other blog entry - I could write a book about the complicated, fascinating experience of the BLY fandom).

But with HILL HOUSE, I'd hear a lot from people who lost loved ones, who navigate complicated family dynamics, and who have wrestled with depression or grief. It means the world to me. It's a strange divide, as I'll never see the show that they saw - but I am so grateful that it touched them the way it did.

I'm just about at the point where I think I'm capable of sitting down and truly watching HILL HOUSE. It takes years sometimes. I've watched a lot of my early work, like HUSH or GERALD'S GAME, and finally had the experience of really SEEING it. But HILL HOUSE has always felt a little too raw, and my memories still overpower my ability to separate myself from it. Maybe that's changed. Maybe I'll give it a shot this year. Half a decade seems like enough time.

But yes, it is complicated and strange with all of them. I so badly want to watch MIDNIGHT MASS, the project that was the most personal to me - but it flew off into the world just like they all do. I spent a decade working on it, and felt it flowing through me every day - like it was a part of me. But the moment the show was done and released into the world, it wasn't mine anymore, just like all the others. I remember feeling almost knocked over when it departed, for some reason I thought that one would always feel like a part of me... but no. They're like children, they all have to go live their own lives, and they don't belong to you. Not really.

[pedropascallme]

“I saw you naked once.  And now I can’t stop thinking about it.” With Damien, please <3 I love your writing so much

AN: This turned more into fluff than smut but I hope you still like it <3

"Oh, you fucker--you've never once seen me naked." You aimed the water gun at Damien's chest.

"Final answer?" He goaded you.

"Yes!" You were giddy, laughter only heightened by Shayne, Courtney, and Angela egging you on from the peanut gallery. Two truths one lie always was fun to shoot.

"Alright..." Damien put down the cards he was holding, picking up the water gun on his side of the table and pointing it at you; his poker face was damn good, you thought he was going to put it down and let you spray him, but you were quick to realize your mistake when you felt water begin to spray over your shirt.

Your friends in the peanut gallery went insane.

"What!?" Your eyes went wide, laughing at the blush that crept up Damien's cheeks.

"Sacramento! Like..." Damien counted in his head, "six or seven years ago."

"Oh my god," realization hit you, "I forgot about that."

"So, do we get any context, or..?" Angela leaned forward in her seat.

"It was an accident--I swear, it was an accident--but, we used to film in Sacramento, and there maybe was an instance where--"

"Damien accidentally walked in on me changing in the living room of the Sacramento house." You cut his embarrassment-fueled rant short.

"I remember this!" Shayne yelled through tears of laughter.

"Why were you in the living room?" Courtney prodded.

"Why were you in the living room?" Damien leaned forward.

"I--to this day, I have no idea." You admitted, "Thought I'd have time to do a quick change between takes, I guess."

Damien eyed you from across the table, and when your gaze met his you both laughed.

When the day drew to a close, you walked with Damien to his car.

"Sorry for--I was going to say 'sorry for getting you wet' but I, even I can see that that might sound odd." He smiled.

"I mean, you've seen me naked, so," you laughed, "Getting me wet wouldn't necessarily be so unexpected."

You watched the blush rise in his face again, and the two of you stared at each other in silence.

"Can I..." Damien pursed his lips, trying to find words, "I gotta be honest with you."

"What?" You narrowed your eyes.

"I, uh...I've never been able to stop thinking about it."

"...What?" You leaned forward towards him a bit, head tilted, trying to figure out what he meant.

"Seeing you naked, it..." He rolled his eyes at his words, "This is like, creepy, and cliche, but seeing you naked was certainly the high point of working at Defy."

You digested his words, staring at him, before you broke into a smile.

"Oh, god--I'm sorry" Damien looked a sorry combination of regretful and scared, mistaking your smile for something like an awkward response.

You launched yourself at him, right there in the parking lot. He threw his hands up momentarily, before easing into the kiss and dropping them on your hips. You felt him squeeze you gently, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

You heard someone wolf-whistle behind you. Breaking the kiss, but not bothering to remove your hands from each other, you and Damien watched Shayne break into giggles.

"I've been listening to that story for years," he laughed, "Finally, man. Jesus."

[deansurvived]

Much to Aziraphale's amusement (and Crowley's disdain), Maggie and Nina have taken to having them round for meals, and for impromptu get-togethers. A few weeks prior, it had been sushi, which Nina and Crowley both tolerated, and earlier yet, it had been a slasher film which Aziraphale and Maggie had completely disliked. That seemed to be the pattern of things: Crowley and Nina would be of the same mind, with Aziraphale and Maggie on the other side. They had become tentatively friendly, with Maggie and Nina quite sure that, while the other two wouldn't do them any harm, they certainly weren't human. However, soon that cautiousness faded, and Maggie and Nina had no qualms in telling the magical pair exactly what they thought.

When Maggie suggested a small picnic, Aziraphale had readily agreed, and they had made plans to meet by the river on Sunday. Aziraphale would supply the cakes, and Nina, the coffee.

It was a stunning Sunday in October, with clouds breaking up the rays of the sun just enough to cause a slight chill in the air, perfect for hot coffee. Maggie had wandered off after the cake was eaten while Aziraphale and Nina had debated the best cakes overall to serve in the autumn (and, with much more experience in the ways of the world, Aziraphale was certain to win).

"I think I'll go visit the ducks," Crowley said, but was certain neither Aziraphale or Nina had heard him, as Nina had suggested pound cake, and Aziraphale had huffed so forcefully that his waistcoat had rumpled.

Crowley made his way over to the river's edge. He was sure not all of the normal ducks would be there, since many tended to migrate around September, but some would remain against their better judgement, and it was those he hoped to see. He didn't expect to find Maggie at the water's edge, crouched down and digging through the river rock that lined the edge.

"Oh, hello Mr. Crowley!" she said happily, and stood with a small rock in her hand. "I haven't come down here in ages. I'd forgotten how many rocks there are."

"Yes, well. They aren't exactly rare."

"The right ones are!" she held her hand out so that Crowley could see a flat rock, about the size of a 20 pence. "A worry stone, my Gran used to call them."

"S'it for?" Crowley asked, brow furrowed.

"To keep your hands busy while you think," Maggie replied. "A proper worry stone has to be flat and smooth, and small enough to fit comfortably between your fingers. Look at this one."

Maggie handed him the stone she'd held. It was black and smooth, and shimmered in the sunlight, slightly cool in his hand. He smoothed his thumb over the surface, and noted that it did have a pleasant sensation to it. Not that he'd consider something like a rock as calming, but he could understand why humans would think so. He handed it back to Maggie, who turned it over in her hands thoughtfully, then tossed it back onto the ground by the water's edge.

"Must not have been the right one," Crowley said.

"No, it's perfect," Maggie replied. "I hold them in my hands and think about whatever I need to, then put them back. I like to think someone else will come along after I've gone, someone who needs a little help to think too. Maybe they'll hold the same stone, two hundred years from now, and something from me will still be there."

Maggie prodded at the ground with her foot, uncovering another stone. She picked it up. This one, polished flat and smooth from its time in the water, was slightly larger and pearly white tinged with gold. She rubbed it between her fingers, then handed it to Crowley.

"Humans don't get an eternity, Mr. Crowley. We don't have time to wait for what we want. I imagine it must feel like the blink of an eye for you, what we get. Yet you have all the time in the world, and you're wasting it."

She smiled kindly at him, and her eyes drifted past him to settle on Nina, who was now sitting beside Aziraphale and eating a multitude of conjured cakes, debating the pros and cons of each. Maggie grinned more widely and started to walk up the hill toward the pair. Crowley watched her go, and his gaze landed on the angel, who sent him a cheeky smile and a wave. Crowley ran his thumb over the rock in his hand, then dropped it back onto the ground. Maybe he and Aziraphale would find it in another two hundred years.

[vampireacademysims]

Well, I guess it's time to address the situation... or the lack of situation lol This is gonna be long, be warned. There's a TL;RD at the end if you wanna skip the wall of text. To start, thank you to the two anons who took the time to read the comic and prod me about it and the new people who started following this tumblr in spite of the Hiatus warning. Altho this place has been collecting dust for more than a year now, I'm still around, updating my side reblogs tumblr, so it's not like I dropped from the face of the earth.

The truth is, at this moment in time, I've feel out of love with making this comic. It was always a lot of work due to me being a perfectionist. I never used any extra rendering apps, all you've seen here is raw sims images and a lot of work on Photoshop, so much so it gave me a muscle contracture on my right shoulder (because I did all my work in bed with my laptop/drawing tablet in my lap. I never said I was a smart person lol) that still flares up from time to time because I learned nothing. Then the VA fandom was already quite small by the time I started doing this in 2015 and I never really advertised this in the fandom anyway. I always got the impression most of the fandom didn't like the OG comics as it was and most of the people that followed the comic were sims 2 fans because, well, it's made with the sims and the images were pretty (forever holding in my heart the people you said this &lt;;3) The recent "Vampire Academy" TV series (it was just in names, honestly) was the final nail in the coffin of my motivation. After information had leaked I was already disappointed in it, but after actually watching it, yeah no. Only plus to it was the surprise to see it was partially filmed in my country, in places where I have been myself. And lastly, and probably most importantly, I struggle with motivation a lot. It happens to us all, I am sure. It's no secret that I hated to panel, if I'd start all over again I'd just post the big images like many of you telling stories are doing now, it'd be less of a stress for me, but alas, I can't change formats now. And I said many times I was doing it mostly for myself, because I did love the comics based on the books, but doing it for yourself only gets you so far until you get bored. And I got bored. I'm actually surprised my hyper-focus on it lasted for as long as it did. I haven't been to Photoshop for editing - I used to make photomanipulations and other kinds of editing - for way over a year, so it's not only the comic that stopped.

I still have 7 pages to end chapter 6 in various degrees of editing, Veninorchid and Esotheria-sims have seen them, so they exist lol I will eventually finish editing them - it's mostly a Romitri flashback - and post them. But after that, I will have to decide how to proceed. Spending less time editing would help, but lowering the quality of my pages, the only thing people like about it, really doesn't sit well with me, because yeah, perfectionist.

So at the very least the remaining pages will be posted in early 2024, I might go back to it slowly, a little bit everyday so I don't burn out or put stress on my shoulder. But after that, it's up in the air. It's not like I've been staring at the walls during this time, I had other things taking my goldfish-like attention. I got interested in home bookbinding, which made me dig out old unfinished stories I once started and I've been trying to finish them and later try to bind them, because why the fuck not lol And on my reblogs tumblr I had this set of pictures about a Regency little story that people really loved and I'd like to add to it, but then again, all the editing it'd need *cries* I feel tugged in so many directions I fear I'll end up doing nothing lol

So the TL;DR is, I got bored with the comic because it was too much work and resulted in physical pain, I lacked the motivation and other things got my attention meanwhile. Chapter 6 will be be finished eventually, but after that it's up in the air. Cross my fingers that I get my mojo back while editing those pages. Still, a thank you to all of followed and are still following, sorry these were not the good news you wanted to read just because I made a post. You support up until now was what kept me going in the past, I can't thank you all enough.

[theragingpan]

Hello, World

I know that I'm still dreaming the moment I open my eyes - I went to sleep the previous night on a cushy hotel mattress in Clearwater, Florida, thousands of miles from home, and woke up with a hard metal plate pressing into my back with a tiny pillow supporting my neck. Blinking lazily, I wince as a bright, fluorescent light shines into my eyes, and I sit up, yawning and looking around. Large, crab-like creatures surround me. Most are black, but some have spots of other colours adorning their spines, and one of them chirps at me, touching their pincers together and leaning over me. I flinch, jerking backwards as its eyes - small, beady and eerily blue - stretch from its face on thin, orange antennae. I'd never managed to lucid dream before, but it was more realistic than I had imagined it would be. I can see the jagged shape of its shell and the wet film over its eyes, the little imperfections on its pupils, and I can feel my heart speed up in response to its closeness as its face moves closer to mine. 

I am so enraptured by the alien in front of me - it must be an alien, after all, crabs are not usually the size of small cars, nor do they have the power to teleport their victims to shiny laboratories like the one I am in - I fail to notice the faint beep of some foreign technology powering up behind me, and yelp when something cold prods my back. Swallowing hard, I turn to face a crab-thing behind me, which is observing my reactions to being poked with what looks like a metal stick with intense curiosity. Curling up so my knees are pressed against my chest, I notice the white dressing gown I'm in is not the one I'd gone to sleep in - it's been clipped at the back since its proportions were all wrong for my body, but it is unquestionably a medical gown, and its material grates against my skin. Breathing quickening, I back away, pinching my arm, just to reassure myself. 

I feel it. 

I look down at my hands, and count ten fingers. I try to fly, and nothing happens. 

I pinch myself again. I feel it again. 

My eyes dart around the enclosed space. The walls are white and the air smells sterile. The lights illuminating the room are spherical - detached and orb-shaped - and I realize with slowly dawning horror that nothing is connecting them to the ceiling. Nothing is connecting them to anything. 

I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming. There is no possible way I'm not dreaming. 

"Hello?" I say, and my heart pounds so hard I can hear it. 

Slowly, quietly, hesitance evident in its voice... "Hello?" says a crab-thing, copying my pitch and intonation exactly. 

Leaning forward, a breath caught in my lungs, I say, awed, "Can you understand me?" 

The crabs chatter. 

"Yes," it says.

[gilparry]

At Gil’s assessment, 3D gives a solemn nod. “I get it, dude - goldfish ownership is a lifelong commitment.” At least, it is for the goldfish. “Maybe we should start you out with one of these plushies instead - they’re basically unkillable, and who doesn’t like Definitely Not Scooby Doo?” He says, prodding at the ersatz great dane stuffie and setting it swinging on its hook.

Getting up from his lawn chair and performing a luxurious, back-popping stretch, 3D lifts an amused eyebrow at Gil’s question. It’s weird: they live in the same place, under essentially the same conditions, but they couldn’t be more different. He’s so serious, with his good posture and his two jobs. “Is that your way of asking if I want to hang out with you?” 3D asks with a laugh. “I mean, I was probably just gonna smoke in the alley behind the pharmacy, but I like your idea better. I’ve already lined my stomach with, like, a million reese’s cups, so I’m good to go.” Gleefully pissing away his wages before they’re even in his pocket - it’s classic 3D.

Gil looked into the Scooby knockoff's soulless, plastic eyes for a second too long. The pupils were pointed in slightly different directions, and the fur had that shiny sheen of cheap plastic. He didn't think he ever had a stuffed animal before, and it seemed far too late to rectify that fact. Besides, while Gil wasn't an avid moviegoer by any means, he did see Child's Play. He wasn't scared while watching the film, but it successfully managed to trigger a sense of unease around any sort of toy that looked ripe for the plucking by a serial killer wielding voodoo chants. Id est: he didn't want it in his apartment, sparse as the place was. Gil shook his head once—slowly. "Yeeeah, no. I'm good," he said evenly. "It would feel iniquitous to take such a prize right out of some theoretical kid's hands. Save it for the Grimrose progeny."

Is that your way of asking if I want to hang out with you? For a brief moment, Gil felt sheepish. It was gone as soon as it reared its head but, still, it had been there. He wasn't entirely accustomed to this, making a personal effort to connect. In the past, people fell conveniently into his path and by his side, as brief as it could be, without much work on his part. New Guy in Town, in his late twenties, was a different challenge. And he wasn't comfortable with accepting failure. He shrugged. "Look at that, you caught me red-handed," he answered wryly, then took a step back from the booth to give 3D room to step around; it was more of a symbolic than necessary move. "I actually haven't been to the Wooden Tavern yet. I figured I'd take the opportunity when presented with it." He smiled something small and contained. "Is it safe to assume the service there is superior to the kind you get at Hangman's?"

At Gil’s assessment, 3D gives a solemn nod. “I get it, dude - goldfish ownership is a lifelong commitment.” At least, it is for the goldfish. “Maybe we should start you out with one of these plushies instead - they’re basically unkillable, and who doesn’t like Definitely Not Scooby Doo?” He says, prodding at the ersatz great dane stuffie and setting it swinging on its hook.

Getting up from his lawn chair and performing a luxurious, back-popping stretch, 3D lifts an amused eyebrow at Gil’s question. It’s weird: they live in the same place, under essentially the same conditions, but they couldn’t be more different. He’s so serious, with his good posture and his two jobs. “Is that your way of asking if I want to hang out with you?” 3D asks with a laugh. “I mean, I was probably just gonna smoke in the alley behind the pharmacy, but I like your idea better. I’ve already lined my stomach with, like, a million reese’s cups, so I’m good to go.” Gleefully pissing away his wages before they’re even in his pocket - it’s classic 3D.

Gil looked into the Scooby knockoff's soulless, plastic eyes for a second too long. The pupils were pointed in slightly different directions, and the fur had that shiny sheen of cheap plastic. He didn't think he ever had a stuffed animal before, and it seemed far too late to rectify that fact. Besides, while Gil wasn't an avid moviegoer by any means, he did see Child's Play. He wasn't scared while watching the film, but it successfully managed to trigger a sense of unease around any sort of toy that looked ripe for the plucking by a serial killer wielding voodoo chants. Id est: he didn't want it in his apartment, sparse as the place was. Gil shook his head once—slowly. "Yeeeah, no. I'm good," he said evenly. "It would feel iniquitous to take such a prize right out of some theoretical kid's hands. Save it for the Grimrose progeny."

Is that your way of asking if I want to hang out with you? For a brief moment, Gil felt sheepish. It was gone as soon as it reared its head but, still, it had been there. He wasn't entirely accustomed to this, making a personal effort to connect. In the past, people fell conveniently into his path and by his side, as brief as it could be, without much work on his part. New Guy in Town, in his late twenties, was a different challenge. And he wasn't comfortable with accepting failure. He shrugged. "Look at that, you caught me red-handed," he answered wryly, then took a step back from the booth to give 3D room to step around; it was more of a symbolic than necessary move. "I actually haven't been to the Wooden Tavern yet. I figured I'd take the opportunity when presented with it." He smiled something small and contained. "Is it safe to assume the service there is superior to the kind you get at Hangman's?"

[ganymedesclock]

What's in a hamburger, or, the morality of food

So, I am a person who eats meat.

If you say "why" I can talk to you about the choices I continue to make as an adult but really, the answer is, because I was fed by my parents and this included bacon and hot dogs and steaks and chicken nuggets and burgers, and while I had many misgivings about food that was not specifically one of them.

When I was little, I read Brian Jacques' Redwall series and I watched Ghibli films and in particular, I picked a little book off the shelf called Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. These stories and their messages about food were fascinating to me.

Hatchet is, for those who've never read it, a story about a teenage boy who becomes unexpectedly lost in the canadian wilderness. It is a story primarily about survival. The eponymous hatchet is a thing his well-meaning mother clips to his belt when sending him off to go be rugged and outdoorsy with his recently divorced father- a thing he finds ridiculous at the time, that turns out to be the only thing besides his clothes and a windbreaker jacket, that make it through the plane crash with him.

Initially, he is able to forage successfully. Then, he starts to be able to catch fish. But there comes a part where he starts dreaming about grocery store displays full of meat. He yearns for it. And this builds his resolve to start building tools that he can hunt animals with.

The animals he hunts are never like the grocery store he dreams of. Paulsen himself was an avid outdoorsman, hunter, and dogsledder, and that backbone of real experience carries profoundly through a fictional narrative. There is an unsparing reality to the way that Paulsen writes about this business of making food out of a beast.

It was shocking to a person like I was at that time, a kid who stopped fishing with my dad because one time the hook bit a little too deep and we couldn't simply pluck the fish off it and throw it back like usual, where I was forced to stare at a living, wriggling, yellow-green creature and walk away to shelter myself from seeing what I already knew- that Dad was going to fix this poor creature's affairs the only way he could. He was going to kill it.

I consider myself a fairly sentimental bleeding heart. I grew up with the usual stock of disney films and fairytale stories that idealized the gallant hunter, the spiritual mystic who's One With The Forest And The Beasts. I've spent my entire life living in houses with animals- mostly cats, but there were gerbils and dwarf hamsters and a cockatiel still going strong after twenty years. I draped myself over zoo railings staring in adoring wonder at a great lazy tiger sunning itself, its powerful sides rising and falling with gentle breath.

I know what it means, when an animal is alive. I dislike the idea of inflicting pain. If anyone actually took me on a hunting trip, I don't know if I'd have it in me to kill my own food, to look at a deer or wild rabbit and decide to make it dinner.

That's fine. I have a privilege in that case. If I wanted to, I could go vegan quite easily. The biggest hurdle would be one I'm already facing in a meat-eating lifestyle- I'm not living with my parents anymore and my independent meal planning skills are fairly weak.

Am I still okay eating meat?

Yes, actually.

That same child that balked away from the fish on the hook would stare at deli counters, specifically the section with the seafood. Wide-eyed walleye and salmon, still with their heads, the cuts of meat fanned out to make it clear where on the body it was severed from. Butchering is a fascinating subject to me. In a high school lab class I went from grimacing to one of the first ones lining up wanting to put some sterile gloves on so I could poke and prod at a cross-section of a cow's femur.

Meat and bone, blood and sinew. We that come from kingdom animalia's berth of life are inextricably made of these building blocks, and we can be taken back apart into them. To understand flesh and bone is to know a fundamental secret of yourself and of something else.

And yet! What of the soul, what of that vital yet untouchable spark, what is it that I balk so much at the thought of taking a gun or a bow and looking down at a deer and knowing she is alive, so very alive, and that I could potentially snuff that out? Even if I brought my own knives, and someone talked me through it, how to section and break and dig, carved her up until I was deep in her body, I would never be able to find it, or even a mark of its passing. I could hold a deer's heart- searching doesn't tell me how much it would weigh, but if a deer averages 300 lb. and the average human heart is 10 ounces of weight, I'd guess vaguely that a deer's heart is more than that, maybe fifteen ounces of the organ we've come to think, in our curious predilections, might be the seat of the soul.

I feel that my empathy with animals cuts its teeth on a fascination. I think that animals do not want to die, on whatever level they understand that. As scary as I think the idea of shooting a deer dead myself, for my own curiosity, makes my stomach turn a little, I wonder at the taste of venison. I think about how much a deer's heart weighs. These concepts are tangled together in how I view the world.

The body is such a beautiful, fragile, incredibly complex system. I think the destruction of a body- as death inevitably is, to some degree, the movement of its equilibrium towards a point of stillness and silence- is something that at bare minimum should be handled with delicacy. A cultural christian with no jewish background, I nonetheless think there is an incredible sensibility to the concept of kosher butchering, the painstaking work of the shochet. The shochet's work is not inherently filthy or sinful; but it requires incredible care be taken.

I am fascinated by bodies. I am hungry for meat. I am, myself, a body that sustains its own equilibrium. My ancestors furnished my jaw with latching and ripping fangs, and my guts are short. Cellulose is nothing they can make sense of. If there is a bloodthirstiness in carnivory, I can say that I come by it completely honestly. Even most of what we think of as obligate herbivores will acquaint themselves with blood and gristle before they accept starvation. The nature of life is the nature of hunger.

But also, there is a quivering heart inside the deer. She wants to live. She is capable of feeling pain. She is not, I believe, a thing placed here for me and my entertainment and my hunger; as a child of the same ecosystem, I have no inherent claim that my stomach prioritizes over her life. I do not believe that there is an inherent holy order that smooths its hands maternally over my hungry shoulders, and tells me that it is okay, to let my arrow or bullet fly, to sharpen my knives, because in some cosmic equation I'm worth more than the deer.

It's a sticky problem, and there's no decisive way to moral purity.

I think that this is true of a lot of things worth talking about. And I think this is why I understand the compulsion and arguments that lead a lot of people to veganism or pescatarianism or any other form of restricted dieting based in concepts of morality- and there are plenty of people who are vegetarians for reasons that have nothing to do with this dilemma, and certainly not because of my personal take on it.

I think that it is the job of every human being who has the brains to think about it, to make peace with their own hunger. We were born in omnivorous bodies. It's an anatomical and scientific fact. Our stomach is an opportunist with no morals. Its job is not to weigh souls. Its charge is to eat, and thus, to survive.

That part falls to the brain.

(about three pounds, on average.)

In Brian's Winter, a sequel to Hatchet, Brian successfully hunts a deer for the first time in his life, and sets out the resources to make himself a rudimentary thanksgiving dinner. The notion he should say something, express some gratitude, strikes him. His first response is anger- he's stranded helplessly in the woods and winter is setting in- until he settles on the idea that he should thank the deer. Her presence on his table is the grace of his further survival. It is an incredibly moving segment.

I don't fault people for facing those deep, genuine emotions, and deciding they can't do it. They would rather live a life without furs, leathers, and meat in them, because commissioning the death of the animal is really just an abstraction away from pointing the gun at it yourself. It still happened. I know my dad killed the fish. Would I be a better person if I had stayed and watched it happen?

But even that doesn't dodge the tricky question.

We live in a world where major agribusinesses and unsustainable factory farming methods underpin the fruits and vegetables as much as the meat on our tables. Our stomach does not differentiate, and why should it? That's not its job. It falls to the brain to worry.

And, worry, we probably should. Not about if I'm eating a burger and the person next to me is eating vegetarian pad thai and in their mind I've marked myself a sinful butcher and in my mind, in my less kind moments, I might see them as pretentious and shortsighted. But about what we can do to the planet, and each other, in the course of sating our appetites.

I think there are incredibly rich discussions to have about life and food- on way more avenues than I just discussed! Religion! Culture! Economic and logistical realities! Science!- but a certain amount of that requires us to face the idea that we are looking at the same problem and weighing it as best we can with very different frameworks on the world.

Who knows? Maybe some day in the future there will be a revolution in easy to produce synthetic food, and you'll have people who find it inherently unethical to consume anything that was once alive.

[kitausuret]

“nobody can take 'symby is sweet on any of Eddie and or Flash's current or past lovers' away from me” this is beautiful, I love it! ❤️

LOL thank you, for context everyone, I'd left these tags on a recent reblog - but it's true! I just really like the idea of the symbiote being sweet on those who its host(s) love, or have loved. I don't even have a whole lot of canon to back it up it's just vibes. 😭 Well, except for maybe that moment when Flash slipped and said "we" re: failing to protect Betty... hehe. (This was ASM #660-something I think..)

Am I looking into it too deeply, especially considering it was written by Slott? Probably! But also I don't care. I think that it should be allowed to think Betty is wonderful. In fact, here's a little snippet from my upcoming chapter of Dust to Dust when Eddie and his beloved other run into Flash's ex at a bagel shop:

[Eddie] tried to mentally prod the symbiote for assistance, but it directed him to look towards the metal cafe chairs set up around small, wobbly tables.  “Betty?” “‘Betty’?” he repeated, bewildered. Just then, a brunette woman looked up from her laptop and immediately got that look in her eyes - puzzlement, followed by shock, followed by apprehension. ... His other, however, was bubbling with what seemed like affection, almost like seeing an old friend.

Additionally, I was always a little annoyed by how many writers wrote the symbiote as borderline antagonistic towards Anne. It just felt weird to me! I actually have another WIP loosely inspired by MC2 where ultimately what I want is for Anne and Eddie to repair their relationship - and for Anne to have a better relationship with the symbiote, too.

After she and Eddie have gone on a few dates and they've deliberately avoided talking about the symbiote, she tells Eddie she'd like to see his other, and says the following:

“But I know when it bonded with me, it did so in an effort to protect me. The way you would. And I’ve…” She paused, as if trying to find the right word. “...discussed this. With my therapist.”

Not to mention I have MANY feelings about this Venom: Along Came a Spider scene after the weird uh... symbiote-through-the-phone thing. Which was weird as hell but I'll take whatever I can get when it comes to a three-way symbiotic connection because that's my jam.

And furthermore, I don't see anything wrong with the idea of a host still desiring a relationship with another person, especially if they'd been with that individual prior to bonding to the symbiote.

Not to go on too far of a tangent but I think this is part of why the Venom films have appealed to me so much. People who know me know that I ship the Dan/Anne/Venom/Eddie ot4 pretty hard (like I'm literally incapable of writing anything in that universe without them) but also I just really love a world where Anne has a much better relationship with the symbiote. It is, in fact, super fun and delightful.

SO, with all that in mind, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to ramble about one of my favorite headcanons. I'll close this out by my favorite Symby/Flash/Valkyrie panel in existence from the Thunderbolts Annual.

Cheers! 🎉💕

[joyfulhopelox]

Board-shorts and Choppy Waves | KTH

╰►Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

╰►AU: summer love, meet cute, surf, s2l, i2l

Genre: fluff, with a tiny bit of angst

Rating: pg

╰►Word count: 17.6k

Warnings: mild swearing

╰►A/N: This is my contribution to the Summer of Love Collab, a collab i had not intended to be in but it just so happened that i fell in love with the story and i had to write it, the banner really did not come out as I'd planned but such is life! But be prepared for two idiots to fall in love. Where The Holiday (summer version) meets Gidget! I want to thank @notyouroppar for being not only the most amazing person for reading this over for me but also for fuelling my hype! secondly i want to thank everyone in this collab for being amazing and last but not least i want to thank @hobipaint and @yoonjinkooked for helping me get through this and for believing in this Taehyung!

Did I use Umji as inspiration for Ye Won? Yes. Is Taehyung’s surfer squad the almost complete real life Wooga Squad? Yes. That being said, enjoy! 💜

Copyrights for the story and banner @joyfulhopelox

╰►Summary: A city girl through and through, not used to anything but the hustling and bustling of the streets. From people with phones attached to their hands, the only accompanying noise you had on your way to work was the honking of angry drivers. However, even someone with a devil-may-care attitude can be fed up with such a life. In a desperate attempt to escape, you embark on a crazy adventure that leads you to Hawaii - on a surfboard! Living under someone else’s roof, you find that this may not have been the break that you strived for when the annoying brother comes into play. Riding a wave is like riding the subway, he told you, yet why did his hand holding yours feel like riding a rollercoaster?

Between a job that kept you tied to your desk, and a job that required you to run around town, trying to please everyone and their mother with your projects, you would’ve chosen the former. Correction, now you would choose the former one.

As a bright eyed child though, you’d chosen the latter. And somewhere in between trying to meet the producers– your hands overflowing with a stack of papers which balanced a precariously placed cup of coffee, and a video call with the actor’s managers– who had the audacity to request a jacuzzi on set, you were beginning to regret the decision.

“Yes, yes. I got it!” Weaving expertly through the hectic flow of people coming out from the subway, you tried to grip the phone tighter between your ear and shoulder. “No, no, unfortunately we cannot agree to those requests.” Humming in response, your ears painfully assaulted from the other end of the line, you apologised as your shoulder bumped into another and carried on without waiting for a response. As much as you wanted to stay and apologise, you didn’t have the time. If you learned one thing in this job, it was that lateness was not viewed nicely. As a newbie in the field, your punctuality has been subject to disapproval more than once.

“We shall see what we can do about that.” Not bothering to wait for the response on the other end of the line, you ended the conversation thankful for your balancing skills. Phone now added onto the pile, you continued weaving through the flow of people coming your way. Realising you hadn’t checked the time, you urged your legs to go faster, cursing that you decided to wear heels on a busy day like this. No matter how nice they made you feel, a day spent in pain whilst trying to be efficient was not worth it.

The building where your fate was sealed seemed to loom over you. Gazing up at it you swallowed, your throat dry. You knew without conviction you would get nowhere in the industry, and so with new resolve you made your way through the glass doors. Show time.

It only took a few hours for your blood pressure to rise to dangerous levels. Ever since walking through that door, it felt like nothing went the way you’d imagined it to. The meeting that was supposed to start on time was so delayed, you had to postpone the following meeting with the agent representing your newest addition to the cast. The rest tumbled down with the speed of an avalanche. Not having signed up to run around in heels for coffee, and especially not when you were one of the people meant to pitch the new series, your feet were throbbing and your patience wore thin.

The cherry on top of the cake was the call you received at the end of the day from your boss. It wasn’t an unexpected call, but dare you say, untimely. The call was short and sharp, delivering the blows that would ultimately lead to accepting your friends’ invite for a bar night.

The bar where you usually met your friends was surprisingly empty, though you suspected it was because it was the middle of the week. The few groups that littered the area made it easy for you to spot your obnoxious pair of friends. It seemed they were already on their second round of drinks, judging by the number of empty glasses and Georgie’s animated talk.

“I swear that’s what happened!” As you made your way towards the group, you heard Kate declare her ridiculousness with sincerity as the rest laughed at her. With a roll of your eyes, you slid in next to her.

“What did I miss?” You cheerfully interrupted their storytelling, sharing ‘hello’s’ with them and the obligatory catch up of mundane stories.

Taking a careful sip out of your drink you silently observed the ruckus they created around the table, their cheerful loud voices making you smile inwardly. You missed this.

“So, Y/N, how is that promotion going for you?” Georgie leaned over the table, seemingly to make herself heard over the loud music. Yet, by the suspicious raise of her eyebrows you were aware of what she had been implying. Your almost-fling with your boss.

“Georgie – no.” You shook your head, your attempt to shut down the conversation a poor one at best. “We are not going there.” Taking another sip of your drink you tried to come up with something to deter them from prodding further.

“Oh come on!” Kate insisted, her eyes wide. “You live like a prude married to their work most of the time,” She waved you away when you tried to poke her. “The one time you aren’t and you have a small chance at dating!” She exclaimed and you reached out to cover her mouth.

“Shush it, will you? Any louder and everyone in the bar will hear about my dating plight.” You argued back, frustrated with the situation you’d landed yourself in.

“-He’s my boss.” You countered, knowing full well that if you didn’t explain at least part of your reasoning, there was no way this would end. “Plus –“ you held out your hand to stop them from interrupting you. “He already has a girlfriend.” You took another long sip of your drink, satisfied with the way their faces dropped.

Georgie, to her credit, decided to keep her opinions to herself, occupying her time with swirling her own drink around. However, Kate, whom you’d known the longest, stared at you, eyes narrowed as if trying to figure you out.

“So what was that dinner about then?” She prodded further and you sighed, dramatically lowering your glass onto the table.

“Look, that dinner–“ You leaned forwards fixing them both with your gaze, a small smile forming on your face. “Was definitely about a promotion.” You said conspiratorially.

Unprepared for the joyful hoots from your friends, you leaned back as they both scrambled to hug you. They had been your best friends since college and they knew you better than anyone, especially the struggles you had to go through to even break into the film industry and get the position you were in now. Let alone a promotion.

By no means were you in a bad position, it definitely kept you in the city, and you could afford a good two bedroom apartment near Central London. but remembering the way you had to run around for coffee, not being able to refuse tasks left a bitter taste in your mouth. Definitely this promotion would not only open more doors for you, but also allow you to say no. The joy you felt as soon as you got the call earlier that evening washed away the pain of your blistered feet, and with a renewed spring in your step you had gone to the bar to share your good news with your friends.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Kate exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically. “This is amazing, you definitely needed this! How soon will you be filling the new role?” She inquired and your mood dropped instantly, reality washing over you.

Disentangling yourself from her hug, you sighed. “It’s a possibility, it’s not yet certain.” Your voice sounded gloomy, knowing full well that a possibility was not a certainty. “I still have to see this project through.” Tapping your fingers to the side of your glass you continued. “It’s a long few months of waiting now. I have done my job, all that needs to happen now is for the rest of them to do their job.”

Georgie looked at you empathetically, she knew what you meant. She, herself, was in a similar position to you. The silence that followed between the three of you was not uncomfortable by any means. The bass of the music pounding around you kept you company, an unneeded headache. But worth it if it meant you got to talk to your friends.

“So…” She trailed off, her eyes scouring the fuller bar. “What will you be doing now?” Turning her attention back to you, she raised her eyebrows at you. “Date? Holiday?”

The question took you by complete surprise, drink still in your mouth in the midst of swallowing, you struggled to not choke. Kate patted your back, an almost sympathetic look crossed over her face, only to be quickly replaced by a smirk. “No but seriously, Y/N.” Glaring at the both of them for ganging up on you, you shrugged.

“I have no intentions to be dating, and you know that.” You pointed at them, eyes narrowed. “As for holiday…” You trailed off. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had a holiday. Sure, you took your required days off, but you never left your apartment during those days. And to be completely honest, you only used them to catch up on work you did not get to do during the week, respond to emails you didn’t get a chance to, and order the occasional takeaway with a film in the evenings. But even that could count more as work than relaxing. Being in the film industry, you rarely found yourself enjoying a production without thinking about the ins and outs that went on behind the scenes to put it all together. The thought of an actual holiday has never even crossed your mind.

“-I do take holidays.” You weakly argued, but when you met the girls’ eyes you shrugged noncommittally. “Look, I can’t afford to.” You simply provided. That reason seemed to be enough to quieten them both, until Kate jumped up.

“I know!” She exclaimed, her palm slapping the table hard. “How about a house exchange?”

You stared at her oddly, wondering how much she’d had to drink, but she didn’t seem flushed, nor to be staggering on her feet. Instead of insulting her with questions about her sobriety you waited for her to explain herself. “You know, like, the ones where you do it through an agency.” She supplied, but at your furrowed eyebrows she sighed. “Kind of like an AirBnB, but this one is about you contacting a person who is willing to exchange their horse for a short period of time, and you are providing them with yours as a payment.”

At her explanation, your eyes went wide with surprise, your mouth hanging open. “Wha-?” It baffled you, the idea that someone would willingly not only supply you with their house, their sanctuary, but also they would agree to come and live in a stranger’s house. “What sort of scam is this?” You finally settled.

“It’s not a scam!” Georgie jumped in, the tone of her voice betraying her excitement. “My friend did it, and she loved it!” You watched her with a careful eye, trying to decide if both of your friends had had too much to drink. At your unconvinced look, Georgie sighed.

“Look, it’s worth thinking about it, you get to see pictures of the house first, and also talk to the owner beforehand. It’s not like you have no contact with them before you even get there.” She stated, carefully watching your expression turn thoughtful. As much as you enjoyed the idea of being able to live in someone else’s house, without paying too much for it, you had trust issues. You couldn’t just let anyone in your own home, just like that.

“Is there insurance? What about a contract? Will I be able to go anywhere? What if they steal something?” Before you could continue with your incessant worries, Kate interrupted you, a hand on your arm.

“Of course, there is insurance. This is all done through an agency, it is not like you email a stranger out of the blue-” At your unconvinced expression she carried on. “And there is a contract, and background checks, and you do get to pick which place you want to choose.” She breathed a loud sigh. “Look, Y/N, this may be a good time for you to take a break.” She patted your arm as if that would have convinced you that what she was saying was true.

Well, it was true, but they both knew you were a workaholic. It would take more than that to get you to let go of your responsibilities and take care of yourself first. Georgie followed Kate’s suit, her words sealing your fate.

“And you don’t want to date, so this is the best way to make sure that you take care of your own needs first.” Your alarmed expression made her continue. “You need a break, you have nothing else to do but wait, all you will do is worry and fret.” She waved her hand around as if to disperse the worries and fears mentioned.

“And-” Georgie leaned forward as if to share a secret and you mirrored her movement. “Think about it this way, you’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii.” She smirked and you let your mouth drop, her idea already a seed in your mind.

She was right, Hawaii has always been a place you wanted to visit, never having the time or money to do so. This would be perfect for you. Still worried you nodded your head, enough for her to lean back a satisfied look on her face. She knew her job was done, but she couldn’t help but add. “And you never know, you may find your Surfer Charming there.” Georgie wiggled her eyebrows at you making Kate laugh and you narrowed your eyes at her, an offended look on your face.

“Georgie!” You then realised what she implied earlier. “Also, how does dating have anything to do with me taking a break?” You sounded indignant, and the three of you burst out laughing.

It took a few weeks for you to remember this conversation. They had been right, all you did during that period was fret, wait, and call people more than once trying to figure out if everything was going on as planned. These calls earned you more than a few groans and even some rejected your calls after the tenth time you tried to reach them within a day.

Deciding you’d had enough of your own brain, you chanced a look at the website Kate mentioned. The sight of all the reviews made you breathe out easier, of course you were going to head there first, the need to know how legit this whole business was too strong for you to get caught up in the lovely pictures littering the website. Once satisfied with the reviews you then let yourself fall into the hole, sinking in deep, and by the time dinner rolled round you had a few options you were considering as a potential. One in Europe, one in Asia, and one in Hawaii.

You bit your lip, this was one of the hardest decisions you had to make, the idea of doing this frightening. Needing more encouragement, you decided to call Kate once more to get her opinion on it, but before you could hit the dial, something caught your eye. The Hawaii exchange, the person in the bio stated they would prefer an exchange with someone from your own town, boring old London. Scrolling through the pictures once more, the airy feel of the house, along with the art that was tastefully decorating the space drew you in more and more. What sealed the deal in your eyes though, was the last picture, a view of a grand pool, the flowers that were scattered all around the garden giving you the feel of the paradise you craved. In the background the view of the ocean and the waves eased your worries and made your eyes glisten with hope. This was it.

Cursor over the email address, you read the name once more before you smiled to yourself.

‘Dear Ye Won,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing in regards to the home exchange; I happened to come upon your one and I was instantly drawn to it….’

The morning came quicker than you expected, the sound of your alarm blaring throughout the airy beach house jolting you out of bed in an unpleasant manner. You cursed at the inanimate object for not only waking you up, but for being the reason you had to move out of your comfortable spot under the duvet to turn it off. Deciding your joints were not in pain today was an easy feat, you didn’t crumple to the ground like you had previously and you could turn your head without feeling like your head’s being pounded by a rock.

The flight over from London had not been a pleasant one, the crying child next to you hadn’t allowed you to close your eyes for a second. He was not at fault and you knew that, no one could last unscathed through an 18 hour flight; but, the throbbing headache you sported now was definitely blaming him. To make matters worse, the flight to Honolulu had been delayed enough that when you landed you had little to no time to spare before your flight over to Maui. You’d think that they would have more flights in a day towards such a popular destination, however, you were soon to find out that it was not the case.

Bags in hand, trying to multitask, desperately running towards what you assumed to be your gate, whilst checking the status of your flight as you passed by the information board– it was all a disaster waiting to happen. And when a disaster is waiting to happen, chances are it will. One moment you were skillfully dodging a passerby and the next you found yourself bumping into a solid chest, the wind knocked out of you. Derailed from your goal and with the pain of having bumped your nose into someone’s torso, it took you a good moment to realise what had happened.

“Tsk, look where you’re going.” The deep voice held the annoyance of someone who’d just been through a rough day, and normally you’d do your best to apologise. However, you’d had just as rough of a day and it was still not over, not to mention you were in a hurry. Pleasantries would have to wait.

“I’m late. And you could also look where you’re going.” You simply announced with a huff not bothering to look up, the tip of your nose still throbbing.

“Did I mention anything about your lateness, does it seem like I have time?” The man, judging by the voice, retaliated. You rubbed the tip of your nose to make sure that nothing was bruised before you glanced up, your eyes narrowed as the obvious rudeness of this person. The sight that greeted you was not what you’d expected, and once again, under normal circumstances you would have paused to gawk. He was beautiful, there was no other way to describe him. His light brown hair was quite shaggy, offering him an unkempt appearance, the bandana that tied around his head keeping his bangs from obstructing his eyes. And what eyes, his gaze locked onto yours, the ebony colour intensifying the coldness in them, you found yourself lost for words.

“Well, are you going to move out of the way?” He nodded his head impatiently as if that would simply remove you from his path. With those words, the bubble you were in completely dissipated, reality crashing down on you. You were still late. With a gasp, you didn’t bother responding to him; your grip tightened on your bag and you dashed around him, praying that those few minutes were not wasted and the flight hadn’t left without you.

Now, seated at the counter of the vast kitchen, a coffee cup in hand, you had time to think about the events from the airport. With a pained sigh you admitted to yourself you’d been the one in the wrong, not only having bumped into an innocent passerby, but also starting an argument with them instead of apologising and being on your merry way. You were certain that under normal circumstances you wouldn’t have reacted this way.

“Oh, well…” Muttering to yourself you took a last sip of your coffee thanking the stars the person who offered you the place had enough stocked to last you for a couple of days. Having arrived late last night, you hadn’t had the time to explore the area, let alone think about stocking up on food. To you, it felt like a holiday - and in a way you supposed it was, only you were without the ease of being in a hotel and having a restaurant at your doorstep.

The lack of traffic echoing in your ears felt unfamiliar, the stillness of the house reminding you of a horror film where the protagonist is only seconds away from being snatched. Only, you were not in an old abandoned house. One quick glance around told you a lot about the person that swapped homes with you. Their interest in art and interior design was clearly reflected in the way they had decorated the house. The rooms were wide and airy, yet the abundance of paintings and figurines scattered everywhere made it resemble an art gallery. Walking around trying to familiarise yourself with the house, you decided that this home would be your little piece of heaven for the next month. Especially when you reached the end of the house and stumbled upon a lovely back garden, the fence lined with palm trees and gardenias scattered all around a clear pool. Excitedly, you rushed back to your bedroom for your swimsuit. Exploring the area could wait a few more hours. You were on holiday, and what could be more holiday-esque than taking a dip in a pool, in Hawaii!

Deciding on the first suit that you came across, you debated whether or not you should cover yourself up until the pool, but before you could make a decision a loud thud coming from the front door jolted you.

With your heart pounding, you padded towards the corridor at the sound of a voice yelling “Ye Won! Open up!” as they kept pounding against the wooden door. Aware that it was not your house and afraid for the door’s hinges you ran to respond.

In a rush to get to the door before the person on the other end broke in, you had completely forgotten to cover yourself up. When the thought suddenly occurred to you, it was already too late. You had the front door wide open ready to greet whoever was one the other side.

“Thank God you responded I was ready to break the door- What the fu-” A deep voice greeted you and you couldn’t help but stare dumbfounded at the man standing in front of you. A very handsome man. His ebony eyes and light brown coloured hair looked too familiar for your liking.

“You- the airport- what?” He sputtered pointing at you, rubbing his eyes as if he was unable to believe the sight before him- and what a sight you were.

You felt as if the proverbial rug had been swept from under your feet. Once his words finally registered in your head you realised the promiscuous position you were in. Not only was the stranger you almost assaulted at the airport in front of you, but you were also standing there on display in a bikini. Your attempt to calm yourself down was futile, the adrenaline coursing through your veins giving way to your fight or flight reflexes. And you chose flight. With a shrill scream you didn’t think twice before slamming the door in his face, your heart threatening to pound out of your chest.

“Fuck.” What was he doing here?

You didn’t know how long you spent leaning on the door, heart in your throat, your mind devoid of any rational thought but when another pounding vibrated through you, it broke you out of your daze. Jumping up, you shook yourself off from any theories as to why the stranger you argued with in the airport could be there. Making sure you were presentable, with a trembling hand you reached for the door, hesitating.

“Open up!” With another loud pound against the wooden material that made you jolt away from the door, the man carried on yelling. “Open up or I am using the key, and I don’t care about whatever various states of undress you are in!” His voice turned dark towards the end, the huskiness in it making you shiver involuntarily. You weren’t a pushover, so with the intention to get him straight you swallowed your pride and opened the door abruptly, catching him mid knock.

“What do you want? Who are you and what are you doing here?” Tapping your foot impatiently, you resisted the urge to look at him more than necessary. Just like you did at the airport, you found him incredibly attractive. With his ruffled dark locks - this time tied in a bun at the top of his head, another bandana keeping the strays away from his face. His light coloured shirt contrasted greatly with his slightly tanned smooth skin and the boardshorts he was wearing were giving away a bit too much for your imagination to not run wild on you.

Mouth wide open, he didn’t offer you the same consideration, his eyes raking over your covered form, his intense dark gaze making you shift on spot. Arms crossed around your chest in an attempt to preserve your decency, you narrowed your eyes at him. “You come here, almost breaking the door down and don’t even have the decency to introduce yourself to the person living here?” You asked pointedly, your tone sharp, the annoyance clear in your voice.

“Just as you did when you bumped into me yesterday?” He was quick to retaliate, his stance mirroring yours. No one said anything for a few seconds, the air around you felt charged with electricity as you tried your hardest to not stray away from his dark brown eyes. You cocked an eyebrow mockingly, daring him to be the first one to break the staring match.

“Taehyung.” He conceded after a few more seconds, the weight of your stare too dangerous for his imagination. He had to admit you were beautiful, and the sight of your angered state made you even more attractive in his eyes. Deciding it was a biased opinion, he put it down to the fact that this is the only way he’s seen you up until then. The fiery glint in your eyes accentuated by rosy cheeks from the blood rushing to your face in anger.

Hearing his response and accepting it as defeat, you lowered your arms, a satisfied smirk on your face. But before you could loudly announce your win, he carried on, his response nailing you on the spot. “And this is my sister’s house.”

Eyes wide, you gaped at him. “This is what now?” You couldn’t believe your ears, his words ringing in your head as dread washed over you. “You mean to say, you live here?” You felt the telltale signs of anger readying a harsh email back towards the woman who exchanged houses with you.

Taehyung’s eyes widened, the preposterous idea making him guffaw. “What? No!” He was quick to refute. The clear panic in his voice at the thought was enough to make you sigh in relief, sending a mental apology towards Ye Won. “I’m here to see Ye Won, are you the maid?” He looked you up and down thoughtfully. “She did say she was going to get a maid, but if she’s not home I wouldn’t go around gallivanting–“ He pointed at the shift covering you, “up and down like this.”

With an indignant huff you wondered if Ye Won would be ok with you breaking her brother’s nose. Having exchanged emails with her for the better part of a month, you discovered she was not only a genuinely nice person but also considerate as she made sure to walk you through not only the house’s quirks, but also different customs in Hawaii and things to do to occupy your time. Though, you thought eyeing Taehyung with distrust, not that considerate.

“So–“ Taehyung glanced inside, his height making it easy for him to do so without struggling too much. “Where’s Ye Won?”

Scoffing at him you prepared to close the door in his face. “She’s not here, she’s in London.”

If you weren’t so annoyed at his earlier indiscretion you would’ve laughed at the way his face fell, mouth agape. “What do you mean she’s in London? Then why are you here?” He pointed at you accusingly.

“Look, it’s my first day here and I would like to spend it in a meaningful way.” You threw him a pointed look alluding to his behaviour from earlier. “If you want more details I am sure your sister can give them to you.” You placed a hand on his chest, pausing at the feel of muscle underneath your palm. Shaking yourself out of it, you reminded yourself you didn’t know this person, nor did you want to. “Now if you will excuse me.” You lightly pushed him out the doorway before shutting the door in his face.

“What a character.” You muttered, your thoughts completely taken over by the excitement awaiting you for the day.

“Kate, I’m telling you, it’s all fine. I have a long list Ye Won gave me of things to do.” Phone pressed to your ear, you reassured your friend on the other side of the ocean.

“And?” She inquired and paused hoping for more information from you. When the pregnant pause extended she sighed exasperated. “Y/N! Come on, you’re in Hawaii! What about any hot guys?”

You laughed at her, only for your thoughts to drift to the ponytailed devil you’ve met earlier. “Mnope.” You drawled, occupying yourself with the flowers in the garden. “Nothing worth mentioning.” At the whine on the other end, you felt the need to defend yourself. “Kate! I’ve only been here for a night! There is no way I could’ve met anyone in this amount of time. And also–“ you raised your voice trying to mask the blatant lie you just told her. “I am not here to meet anyone. I am here to relax.”

Kate snorted, the thought of you and relaxation in one sentence amusing to her. “You mean you will actually not think about work? Check emails? Fret about details?”

“Shhh, I know what you are trying to do.” You laughed at her ridiculousness. “Yes, I will rest. And no, I will not be hunting any men.” You added ending the call before she could speak her mind about your personal choice of staying single.

On second thought, you had absolutely no clue what you wanted to do. Going over the list Ye Won so kindly provided for you, you felt overwhelmed. It wasn’t that you weren’t any good with lists, you lived for them, your job relied on them more than you cared to admit. This list though, entailed you relaxing and having fun, two concepts which you’ve rarely experienced since leaving university.

“Not this,” your finger skimmed over the list, making a mental note to ask Ye Won what exactly did ‘going mental at the Sailor Jerry Festival’ meant. “Aha! Beach!” You exclaimed, face lighting up with excitement. “I know how to do that!” Glancing underneath the list of beaches your eyes caught her suggestion of what to do on said beaches. “Should I–?”

Smiling lightly to yourself, you nodded. Surfing. Look for Hyung Sik. Giddy at the thought of doing something out of the norm, you imagined what Katie and Georgie would say if they knew. Gathering your things you decided it was worth a try, if only to get yourself familiarised with the area and walk to the beach. Well, surf’s up I guess.

The road to the beach was littered with stalls ready to exhibit the best of what Hawaii had to offer, and you spent more than you had planned just in awe at the multitude of colours around you. The music and the atmosphere surrounded you fully, and you happily immersed yourself in the experience. For the first time in forever you felt free, the breeze coming from the ocean soothing your worries.

After a journey that took you an hour longer than intended, you reached the beach, your eyes scouring for the hut Ye Won mentioned. Past the showers, down towards the Surfer’s Den bar, you tried to remember the instructions written on the paper. Feet buried in the soft sand, your eyes wandered towards the way the soft waves broke as they reached their final destination, the music of the sea lulling you into a daydream.

“Yo-” The sound of someone yelling broke you out of your daze and you craned your neck to catch a glimpse of the source. “You’re gonna run into the tables.” Finally spotting the man waving at you, you stopped, your brain registering what he was trying to tell you. Looking around confusedly, you realised you were a few centimetres away from slamming into one of the tables that belonged to the bar.

“Oh,” squinting, you waved back to the man in thanks when your eyes caught the sign above his head. “Surf’s up.” You mumbled to yourself before your eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh! This is it!” You quickened your pace, hoping to reach the hut before you had the chance to change your mind. The man had his back towards you now, too preoccupied with a surfboard, the sheer size of it making you gulp.

“Uhm, excuse me.” You tried, your voice cracking. You didn’t know why you suddenly turned shy, you were used to talking to big names, people who could eat you for breakfast, you never faltered once. Why were you all of a sudden becoming a wallflower?

With new resolve, you tried again, your voice a notch higher. “Excuse me, are you Hyung Sik?” You asked as the man suddenly turned around, almost clocking you in the face with his elbow.

“Oh shit, I'm sorry.” He apologised, seeing your disgruntled expression. “No bubs, I’m not name’s Woo Sik.” Your heart sighed in relief at this, you could come another time, you promised yourself. But before you could turn around and run for the hills like you’d planned to, the man carried on, crushing your escape plan. “But he’s inside, I can bring him out for you.”

You wanted to tell him no and that it’s okay, but before you could utter a word he had already gone back inside, coming out with another person behind him. Wait. Another two people behind him. Were all the guys in Hawaii this hot? You questioned, the sight of their handsome faces making you freeze on spot.

“Here she is.” The man you spoke to before, Woo Sik, turned to one of the men following behind him. You assumed him to be Hyung Sik and you turned towards him, prepared to stick a hand out in greeting.

“Oh shit man, she is beautiful.” The man exclaimed and before you could decide whether you were flattered at the compliment or alienated by the thought of them talking about you behind your back, he rushed towards you, and pulled you into a friendly hug.

“Welcome to Surf’s up. I’m Hyung Sik, I’m assuming you are looking for a teacher?” He let go of you, hand still on your shoulder and you raised your eyebrow at him.

“What makes you think that, I could just be–“ you glanced at the sign behind him that read boards for hire. “Looking to hire a board...”

Hyung Sik looked you over for a second and you fought the urge to squirm under his gaze. “No offence bubs, but you look like a city person. We had one of them once,” he turned towards his friends and chuckled, “he’s a pro surfer now but, man, you city bros are so easy to read.”

The comical way in which he threw his hands up in mock frustration made you burst out laughing. You knew you should’ve taken offence at what he said, but you couldn’t find it in you. He seemed too genuine in his opinion for it to be an insult. And it’s not like he was wrong.

“Right, yes, I am looking for a teacher.” You nodded, sheepishly.

“Well bubs, I would love to be yours, I have a feeling you’re a cool one, but unfortunately I have some business I need to take care of.” He sighed dramatically.

“Oh don’t I know that.” You laughed, preparing yourself to leave once more, the hope in your heart rekindled. If he was busy you would definitely have to come again later. “Well– Ye Won’s suggestion will have to wait then.” You spoke to yourself.

“Ye Won.” The man whom you haven’t been introduced to spoke, eyes gleaming with surprise. Hyung Sik let out a loud laugh at his friend’s obvious behaviour. The man was handsome, his crooked smile and short hair giving him an air of youth that you deemed attractive. But judging by his reaction, he was already spoken for so with a shrug you nodded.

“Hush man,” Woo Sik laughed, slapping his friend over the back, the sound of it making you wince. “This lovesick fool is Seo Joon. He may be handsome, but he’s a tool.” He filled you in.

You laughed, your eyes tearing up. Between your pearls of laughter and the men’s bickering you missed the new addition to your group. “Don’t worry, I deal with tools more than I care to admit.” You winked in Seo Joon’s direction, your eyes catching sight of the man behind him. “Speaking of tools- Taehyung“ you muttered rolling your eyes. The men looked at you confusedly, before said man made his presence known.

“Y/N. You're stalking me?” He took a step towards you, the smirk on his face infuriated you.

“Perfect timing, Taehyung.” Hyung Sik wound his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders. “You got a new student.” He looked at his friend pointedly, and you had a feeling it was not a request as much as it was a command.

Taehyung prepared himself to object before you stepped in. “Oh no no, it’s ok. I can come back another time.” You tried to escape out of it, the prospect of having Taehyung as an instructor was not sitting well with you.

“Nonsense. He may be an ass, but he’s the best surfer we have.” Seo Joon smiled at you reassuringly before he lightly kicked his friend in the shin. “Stop staring.” He said amusedly, bringing your attention back to Taehyung.

“He may be a good surfer.” You said unconvincingly, “but that doesn’t make him a good teacher.” You shrugged at Taehyung’s now offended expression.

“Ohhhh I like her, can we keep her?” Woo Sik laughed, throwing his arm around your shoulders making you blush.

Taehyung looked pointedly at his friend’s arm around you before he grabbed your forearm and pulled you to him. “Fuck off Woo Sik. I’ll show you a good teacher.”

Before you could protest, he pulled you away, marching towards the side of the hut, you in tow. His friends’ laughter and teasing comments from behind were not lost to your ears. “Careful Taehyung, you may end up drowned in the ocean.”

“Right, first, you need to-” Taehyung started, only to realise he had been speaking into thin air, your form already ahead of him, ready to reach the water. “Oi!” He yelled after you, the panic settling into his heart. The waves were too dangerous for you to get in there straight away. Sprinting he ran as fast as he could, grabbing your shoulder right before you could reach the edge of the sand. “What do you think you are doing?” He huffed, trying to catch his breath.

Looking in between him and the water confusedly, you pointed at it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’m uh, taking a dip?” You stared at him, eyes narrowed. “What do you think you’re doing?” You pointed at him, his shirt having unbuttoned after his mad sprint. You would’ve lied if you said it wasn’t distracting, the sight of his collar bones drawing imagery in your head you didn’t wish to have.

“Hyung Sik gave me you as a student, and we are going to learn how to surf. And this” he pointed at you, giving you a chastising look as if you were a petulant child, “is not how you do it.”

“Did I agree with you being my teacher?” You huffed, the idea of being alone with him, in water not sitting well with you. “You can learn how to surf, I will just enjoy my time swimming until someone else is available to teach me.”

Taehyung stared at you, your stubbornness shocking him into silence. “Y/N, you’re a bore.” He shrugged and you gaped at him, offended by what he was implying.

“I am not!” You almost stomped your foot, only stopping yourself when you remembered you were a grown adult not a child. “I can have fun, thank you very much.” Taehyung cocked his eyebrow, the unconvinced expression on his face spurring you on in an attempt to defend yourself. “I once went rock climbing!” You proudly declared, hoping that this would be enough to redeem yourself. You didn’t know why you felt the need to prove him wrong, but the impulse had been there ever since you met him.

“Oh, right. And let me guess, you’ve never done it again after that?” He teased you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Feeling the need to defend yourself you almost lied, ready to tell him that you had done it multiple times after that, but in reality you knew it was not true. So with your head slightly lowered you mumbled a response.

“Ah, I knew it. Tell you what?” He proposed and you looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat. The way the morning sun caught his brown eyes, making them sparkle, made him look devilishly handsome in your eyes. If it was not for his attitude, you would have probably went for Georgie’s advice and tried to flirt, but this was a hopeless case. “I will make you lose that stuck up city shell in a couple of days.” He proposed, the smug smile on his face egging you on.

You didn’t know what possessed you to agree with it, it may have been your desire to prove him wrong, it may have been your guilty pleasure of being near him, but you readily grabbed his hand and shook it, sealing the deal.

“Fine. Now-” You looked at the ocean, the prospect of being on them on a plank making you gulp. “Where do we start?” You glanced at him, the defiance replaced with uncertainty. You were out of your element, and you were ready to admit that.

Taehyung stifled a laugh at your constipated expression, his heart warming at the thought of you placing his trust in him, regardless of your previous encounters. “Not here, City Girl.” He winked, his hand still in yours, he pulled you further in. “We need to get you used to being on the board first. And those waves will do nothing but swallow you whole.” He pulled you towards the sand, his board already placed on it in position.

“Oh so you are not putting me on a plank in the sea like pirates do huh?” You jokingly nudged him, shoulders more relaxed at the thought of being on land for the time being. Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at your joke and as he motioned for you to stand on the board he added.

“Nah, we only make you walk the plank as an experienced surfer. For the moment you are a swabby.” He nudged you with his shoulder, making you lose your balance. “Oh lord, we need to work on that.” He sighed and you whined indignantly.

“I was not prepared! I swear my balance is better than that.” Trying to prove him wrong you went to get yourself back into position, only to miscalculate how soft the sand underneath your feet was. With a loud yelp you hurtled towards him, hand barely grazing his shoulder in a futile attempt to steady yourself, and you landed painfully on your knees. Mortified at having displayed such graceful behaviour in front of him you groaned.

“Told you.” Taehyung smiled at you and offered his hand to help you up. Pulling you back onto your feet, you steadied yourself and before the smell of him combined with the scent of the beach could throw you into a daze, you stepped away from him with an awkward cough.

“So what do I do?” You could have cursed yourself for sounding so shy, but the nerves that were piling ever since you arrived at the beach got the better of you. Smirking at you, Taehyung pulled you back onto the board.

“Well, now that I’ve witnessed you fall for me once, let’s work on your balance.” Gaping at his brazen attitude you bit back a snarky remark, settling for cursing him under your breath as you deliberately stepped on his feet.

The rest of the day, you spent in agonising pain, your feet on the board and the sun beating down on your back, your mind muddled with thoughts of the man who happened to have lost his shirt due to the heat, as he put it.

“So we are done?” You couldn’t help but blink at him in gleefulness. The prospect of being near him for longer than necessary made your heart beat out of your chest.

Taehyung laughed at your hopeful expression, undecided whether the small bursts of happiness he felt were because he was just about to burst your bubble or if it was something else.

“Oh no, this is not a one time lesson.” He picked up the surfboard, his warm hand on your naked lower back pushing you towards the ocean.

“We are going to be here for a while.” He smiled at you innocently, and your breath caught in your throat as he leaned down, his breath fanning over your face with a carefree expression. “Every day.” Oh shit.

The morning came too quickly, and you struggled to get yourself out of bed. The prospect of getting more bruised and battered than you were already was not an incentive. Thinking of the previous days of activities reminded you of the man that promised you a fun week. Taehyung drove you up the wall in more ways than one. Half the time you didn’t know whether you wanted to throttle him or kiss him; his demeanour giving you whiplash every time you argued with him. You couldn’t say you had a normal conversation with him since you’d met. First, the airport where he more than readily called you an asshole, then his first appearance at his sister’s house when he called you a maid. The tip of the iceberg were the surfing lessons he’d been roped into by his friends.

Lessons where he insulted you and your skills, whilst his hands were resting on your naked skin, as he tried to steady you on the board. Remembering how his slender hands held you by your naked waist as he barked at you to hold yourself up all but made you groan in frustration. How could such an attractive man have such a sour personality? You couldn’t explain it to yourself, especially when his friends seemed to be the nicest people you’d ever met.

Thinking about their interactions, the brotherly link between all of them, the way Taehyung interacted with them, his carefree attitude and boyish smirk as they teased each other about one thing or another - gave you even more of a headache. Seeing him like this made you realise that there was more underneath the front he put up when talking to you, and you would be lying to yourself if you said his blaise attitude towards life didn’t draw you in.

A knock at the door broke you out of your thoughts, and you scrambled to get out of bed, your foot getting caught. Stumbling, you didn’t think twice about the way you looked, or the fact that you had just woken up; you headed straight towards the front door, opening it.

“Are you going to make it a habit to present yourself in the worst ways possible?” Taehyung’s amused tone greeted you and you yelped, the urge to shut the door once more too strong. But before you could give into the impulse, his foot stuck through the doorway and he slipped inside before you could do anything.

Humming quietly to himself, he made his way towards the pool as if this was his own home. In a way you supposed it was. “Uh, want some coffee?” You offered and he waved you off, not bothering to answer as he slipped outside. You rolled your eyes at his behaviour and turned around towards the kitchen for a much needed coffee, but not before you made a beeline for the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

A few good minutes later, most of which was spent in the bathroom rearranging your hair, you made your way towards the back of the house towards the garden. The early morning air, spiced by the fresh smell of the ocean with floral hints from the gardenias in full bloom, made you smile. Your tense posture relaxed as you sipped your coffee. You took in the bright yellows reflecting in the sky, and the pool which housed a bare chested man.

Sputtering, you coughed out your mouthful of coffee, almost tempted to rub your eyes in case what you saw was a mirage made up by your tired brain. What was Taehyung doing in your pool? His back was towards you and you took the time to observe the way his muscles strained against his sun kissed skin. Mouth hanging open you gulped, the sight of his bare back too much for your brain to handle.

You glanced away before you cleared your throat loudly to get his attention. “Care to tell me what you are doing in the pool?” You questioned, your eyes observing the bushes of manfern. You waited for a full minute before you got a verbal reply, the splashing sounds coming from the side an indication of him approaching you.

“Care to tell me who you’re talking to?” He mocked, your stubbornness amusing him. Pushing himself out of the pool as you turned around to give him a piece of your mind was a disaster waiting to happen. Your words caught in your throat, the sight of his bare chest and water dripping down it reminding you of how lackluster your dating life had been until then.

“Fu- You of course.” You exclaimed, your brain struggling to form a full sentence without a swear word in between.

Taehyung enjoyed the way your cheeks flamed red, the sight of your flustered face made him as amused as it did aroused, with the knowledge that he had been the one to make you that way. “Then, is there a reason you are not looking at the person you are addressing?” He couldn’t help himself, the need to tease you further overweighing everything else. Your reactions were gold to him and he planned to make the most of it.

“Is there a reason you’re naked?” You shot back, your eyes narrowed.

“I went for a swim.” He replied calmly as if you were missing the obvious. “Plus I am not naked, I'm wearing shorts.” He motioned towards his lower half and you couldn’t help but follow his movements, your eyes stuck on his narrow waist and happy trail leading towards imagery you’d rather have not thought of. You redirected your gaze at him, his smirk making you want to clock him in the face.

“Amazing.” You muttered not sure exactly what you may have been referring to. “Now that you are out the pool, can you put a shirt on?” You made a point by grabbing the towel sitting innocently on the back of the lounge chair and throwing it at him. Desperate to change the subject you hurriedly added. “What are you doing here this early? I thought we were meeting at the beach.”

Taehyung struggled not to laugh at your plight and instead he shrugged nonchalantly. “We were, but the waves are wild today. There is no way it’s safe for any of us out there.” He toweled himself and you tried your hardest to keep your eyes trained on his face instead of his well defined abs. “Thought it would be best if we went rock climbing instead.”

His proposition was enough to make you forget his state of nakedness, and you gaped at him. “Definitely not!” You shook your head, arms crossed in defiance. “Nuh-uh, no way.”

“Why are you being such a sourpuss?” He demanded, hands crossed over his chest and you tried your hardest not to stare. The sunrise was casting its rays over the two of you, causing the sheen of sweat and water clinging to his tanned skin to glisten. His stance did nothing to help with your staring, or your desire to reach out and run your hands over his bicep, if only to prove whether or not his skin was as soft as it looked.

With a hard gulp, you forced your gaze away from his naked chest, praying that he hadn't noticed the way it lingered there for a second too long. Locking eyes with his amused ones, the tick at the corner of his mouth suggested otherwise and you felt yourself flush. Mortified at having been caught ogling at the person you’ve readily declared to dislike. His words barely registered in your head as you bristled, “I am not a sourpuss.” You declared, copying his stance, arms crossed over your chest a defiant glint in your eyes.

Taehyung wondered if you realised that your position accentuated your bikini clad upper body. His mouth suddenly became dry as he tried not to stare at the way your breasts pushed upwards, or think how much the blush still dusting your cheeks made him want to act on impulse and kiss you senseless. As rough and blunt as you’d been until then, he couldn’t deny his attraction towards you, your wit and honesty drawing him in.

“I am just cautious.” You were quick to defend yourself, interpreting his stare as his rebuttal towards what you’d just declared. “I don’t like heights.” You mumbled, your arms dropping to your side, turning your gaze towards your feet.

Taehyung’s gaze softened, a small smile flitting over his face before he straightened himself and with a hard tone he replied, “It’s not that high, and you literally decided to ride waves without a second thought. With this at least you have a harness and protection.” He motioned towards the angry wall of water, its height and aggressiveness the only reason why he decided to forego his lessons for the day. He looked at the waves wistfully; for him it would have been the perfect time to ride. Throwing a glance in your direction he shook the thoughts away. You weren’t ready for this, and if turning his back towards the session meant keeping you safe, then he would do it without a second thought. He wouldn’t let you know though, your clear distaste for anything remotely caring coming from him had been made clear earlier that week.

Sighing you nodded, he was right. Gathering your last bit of courage, you straightened yourself, shoulders square staring him straight in the eyes. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Taehyung nodded at you, the desire to take your hand to comfort you was strong, your quivering lip giving away the nervousness underneath the bravado. To prevent himself from further scaring you away, he stuffed his hands inside his pockets and motioned with his head towards his car. “Let’s go then.”

****

The sight of the tall wall in front of you made you gulp, rampant thoughts of how you were going to fall running through your head.

“You scared?” Taehyung asked, his eyes searching yours. At the discomfort he found in them he smiled ruefully. “You’re scared.” He declared and you huffed at him, puffing your cheeks.

“I am not!” You stomped your foot in discontent, closely resembling a child, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh. Realising what you’ve done you relaxed your stance before you slowly nodded. “I’m not good with heights.” You mumbled, admitting this to him made you feel ashamed and you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes.

Taehyung cleared his throat, berating himself for making you feel self conscious. His intention was to plan an activity that you would not only find fun, but also liberating, not to make you feel inadequate. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with not being good with heights!” He said but you still looked unconvinced. He stopped, his mind trying to find a way to make you feel better. “Ah, did you know I was terrified of water?” At your surprised stare it was his turn to blush. Sharing information not many people knew about him, not even his closest friends, made him nervous.

“You? No way?” Your mouth dropped incredulously. Having witnessed him in the water, you could have sworn he was born in it. “But...you’re so good!” At his sheepish nod you smiled at him, the thought of having knowledge about something so personal to him made you feel warm, a wave of affection washing over you.

“But don’t tell the guys, I’ll never hear the end of it.” He whined and you couldn’t help but laugh at him, the tense atmosphere disappearing into thin air.

“So how did the mighty Kim Taehyung end up loving the water?” You inquired, enjoying the conversation that ensued between the two of you. For the first time since having met him, you spent your time admiring the boyish grin and carefree attitude directed only towards you instead of afar.

****

“Oh my god Taehyung, stop!” You laughed, unable to control your amusement at his actions. Taehyung smiled softly to himself, your laughter echoed in his brain like a song on repeat. Turning towards you with a silly smile he motioned towards the front.

“You ready?” The queue was getting smaller and smaller and you were becoming more and more nervous. Your palms began sweating, and you were certain the feeling of stickiness running down your spine was not just the sun beating down onto your naked back. The encouraging chants in your head weren’t doing a good job of keeping your anxiety at bay anymore and the churning in your stomach was a telltale sign of nausea.

“Y/N, seriously, please stop.” Taehyung grabbed your hands, and you jolted not having realised the tight hold you had on the straps of your bag. Ignoring the warmth of his smooth long fingers prying yours away from each other, you bit your lip, the butterflies in your stomach kicking up a flurry. You could’ve sworn they weren’t there at the beginning, the churning in your stomach feeling different from before. Refusing to glance his way, you kept your eyes locked onto the wire that could be your potential demise. The sight of it combined with the shouts from the people going down was doing nothing to calm your nerves. You didn’t even notice when you allowed Taehyung to interlink your fingers together, or when you gripped his hand tightly in a desperate attempt to ground yourself– but he did.

Taehyung’s gaze flitted towards your hands, the feel of your tight hold on his hand drawing his attention. For a second he allowed himself the illusion of hope, but as soon as he saw the paleness of your skin he quickly acted, afraid you may end up puking before the fun had even begun.

“Come on, we can leave if you want to.” He pulled at your hand gently, the action making you aware of your own deathgrip on his. You let your hand drop, acting as if his touch has burnt you. It may just as well have, the feeling of his warm hand on yours persisted, even after you’d separated.

Chancing a look at the wire and attempting to calculate the distance between it and the ground you hesitated. Your body was screaming at you to turn around, your fear of heights making you tremble on spot. Yet your brain kept reminding you that Taehyung was there, and you wanted to look brave in front of him- if only to prove him wrong. You knew how to have fun.

Hesitating to look him in the eye, you shook your head hoping he wouldn’t be able to read your body language. The urge to grab his hand for comfort was strong, but instead you satisfied it by gripping your shorts tightly. The line moved slowly, and with each step you took closer towards the front you felt the intensity of your trembling knees. Your mouth felt stuffed with cotton balls, and you prayed that Taehyung couldn’t see the way your hands were shaking.

Taehyung observed you for a few seconds, his thoughts at war with each other. On one hand he wanted nothing more than to grab your hand and lend you his strength, on the other, he knew that you would not accept it. Your pride was too strong to accept any consolation from him. However, when he caught sight of your hands almost ripping the pockets of your shorts he made a quick decision to reach out for your hand once more, his strong grip not allowing you to pull away from him even if you wanted to.

Not like you wanted to, as soon as you felt his fingers intertwined with yours, you gulped. Your first reaction was to pull your hand away, but the way his thumb absentmindedly drew patterns on the inside of your wrist made you pause. Was your pulse raised because of your fear of heights, or was it something entirely different this time?

Your fretting thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a cheerfully familiar voice shouting both your names from across the road. “Yo! What are you doing ‘round these parts?” You turned around to face Seo Joon, surprised to discover the question was aimed at you instead of Taehyung. Confused as to why he’d address you first, you pointed to yourself questioningly.

“Yes, you.” Seo Joon laughed. “This loser’s quirks don’t phase me anymore.” He motioned with his thumb towards Taehyung, whose face resembled a perfect picture of a tomato.

Before an argument could break out between the two friends you readily replied, “I uh, Taehyung decided that the waves are too dangerous today, so he brought me here instead.” You shrugged, not meeting Seo Joon’s careful gaze. You didn’t know why, but the way he stared at you made you shy away. He was a handsome man, and you thought that from the beginning. Not like any of Taehyung’s squad was anything but handsome, but Seo Joon’s good looks paired with his wit made you think of him more than the rest.

Your attention focused on the tips of your shoes, you missed the way the two men glanced at each other. Seo Joon’s lips curled into a mischievous smile. “Did he, now?” He wondered thoughtfully. “But the waves are perfect for a ride today, this sort of aggressiveness,” he stressed out the word and you looked up at him. “Is perfect for a surfer.”

With a cocked eyebrow in Taehyung’s direction, your lips curled into a smile as you turned back to reply to Seo Joon. “Oh, well, he clearly needed a break today then.” You wiggled your brows at him, mocking Taehyung’s habit of dipping out of training and his usual lateness. Leaning towards Seo Joon you whispered loudly, intended for Taehyung to hear. “Do you think he used me as an excuse to get out of it today?” You laughed when Taehyung sputtered in protest.

Seo Joon laughed along with you, the meaningful gaze towards his best friend not lost on you. “Ah, I don't think that is the case Y/N, late as he is, that boy lives riding those waves.” He pointed his thumb towards the ocean. “You should see him and how grumpy he is when we get choppy waves.” He laughed, this time it was his turn to wiggle his eyebrows at you. “I think he had something better in sight this time though.” He winked at you, and you felt the blush returning with furious vengeance. “I wouldn’t blame him.”

You knew what he wanted to imply, but the small glimmer of hope and warmth that took roots in your heart was quickly crushed by Taehyung’s rebuttal. “Don’t get ahead of yourself man, I may be able to ride the waves, but she can’t.” Before he could continue his phone beeped and he excused himself to take it.

You glanced after him, your wistful gaze making Seo Joon smirk as he elbowed you. “Don’t take him seriously, these waves are perfect for you to learn. He’s just a worrywart.”

And just like that, the warmth took hold of you once more, and you smiled hesitantly at him. “Well, if he is such a worrywart, why take me to this place knowing full well I have a fear of heights?” You shrugged, remembering where you were, the thought of hanging above ground only secured by a wire making you shudder with anxiety.

Seo Joon eyed you suspiciously and opened his mouth to say something else but before he could say anything, Taehyung clapped a hand on his back, phone in his other hand. “Ye Won asked about you.” He shrugged as if he was talking about the weather. However, the glint in his eyes and the way Seo Joon blushed made you think there was more to it that met the eye. Looking between the both of them questioningly, you decided to keep your opinions to yourself.

“Right,” Seo Joon awkwardly laughed, “it’s time for me to hit the waves.” Ducking away from Taehyung’s arm, he waved at you and did his signature handshake with Taehyung. “Oh–“ He turned to glance at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “To answer your question, maybe he just wanted to hold your hand and couldn’t find a better excuse.” He winked at you, disregarding the blush that took over your cheeks with a vengeance.

“Yo, what are you telling her?” Taehyung narrowed his eyes, prepared to clock his own friend if needed. He knew that Seo Joon had nothing but respect towards you, but the furious red that coloured the tip of your ears made him doubt the relationship the two of you had.

Seo Joon rolled his eyes at his friend’s possessiveness over you, and with a well placed slap landed on his back he loudly stated, “That you need to man up. Oh… and remember to tell her about the party Hyung Sik’s throwing tonight.”

“The what?” You glanced between the two, blush subsided, wondering what they had’t told you.

“Our monthly get together. Don’t worry.” He advised when he saw you bite your lip. “Woo Sik will pick you up if this one doesn’t grow a pair.” With that he disappeared as soon as he came, leaving you and Taehyung to deal with a load of unpacked baggage.

The two of you stared at each other in stupefied silence, thoughts running through your head.

“Uh–“ Taehyung mumbled, the panic of having been put on the spot by his friend rendering him speechless.

“Don’t worry, Woo Sik can come and get me.” You hurried, the heat from your blush refusing to go down. You ignored the way your heart constricted when he didn’t argue against it, and instead pulled you out of the line.

“Yeah, it’s late. Maybe we should call it a day, so you can get ready.” Taehyung didn’t know what possessed him, but hearing you accept his friend’s invite so readily made him feel bitter,

****

True to his word, Woo Sik came to pick you up, his dashing figure clad in a colourful shirt. The bright green contrasted greatly with his baby blue shorts, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“What? Am I not a perfect summer vibes model?” He gestured to himself and you chuckled, shaking your head at him.

“Of course you are.” You stepped around him patting his shoulder as you went, only to come face to face with the man who occupied your thoughts earlier. “Oh–“

Taehyung smiled at you, “Hey.” He greeted with an awkward wave and you were almost tempted to pick on his lack of snark. But one look at his sheepish grin made you pause.

“Hi?” You returned the bashful grin, your heart pumping blood straight to your face, a flush making its way onto your cheeks.

“I uh, came to pick you up?” He motioned towards the car in the driveway. “Well, we did.” He added to your confused expression. “I don’t have a functioning car.” He clarified, hands running through his hair- a nervous tick you’d picked up on.

“He means to say, he totaled it earlier this month, so I'm the designated driver.” Woo Sik shook his head, turning around to walk to his car. “You coming lovebirds?” He added, smirking to himself as he heard the two of you sputter behind him. “I wanna get going before sunrise.”

****

The party involved a lot of dancing, drinking and avoiding each other. Either using a member of the squad or the toilet as an excuse, you managed to not see Taehyung for longer than a few seconds for most of the night.

Exiting through the back into the garden you took a deep breath in, the stifling atmosphere from inside felt too much to handle. The sound of crickets and birds drowned out the sound of the heavy bass coming from inside the house the further you walked away from it.

“Hey.” The sudden appearance of the man you had been avoiding the whole night made you jump and you couldn’t stop the loud curse that slipped past your lips.

“Shit, I'm sorry!” He apologised, his hand grazing yours. There was a brief awkward silence as you sat down on the bench next to him and gathered the courage to speak up.

“Thank you.” You whispered, your hand pulling at his colourful shirt. This time he chose to wear a pattern, foregoing the usual creams, and you were glad for that. Pretending to observe the swirls and shapes on his top you didn’t raise your eyes to meet his. “For earlier.”

Taehyung was silent for a moment, his eyes taking in the scenery. The sight of the unusually calm ocean, baby waves breaking onto the golden shore brought him a sense of peace. He was annoyed that the waves were choppy that day, however, he did it for a reason and that was enough for him. “It’s nothing.” He shrugged hoping he sounded impassive. “You paid for a lesson which I couldn't deliver, it would’ve been a waste of time to not do this.” He shifted in his seat, the drink in his hands suddenly becoming the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.

“O-oh right, yes of course.” He was right, and you knew it, but you couldn’t help the crestfallen look on your face as you toyed with your top.

You were a fool to think that he may have done it for you. How could he, the only reaction you’d shown him since you met was anger, annoyance, and very little interest. Your city girl, devil may care attitude making you act self sufficient. Never once have you considered that it may be a hindrance. The city was ruthless, you needed to be as strong as possible to survive in the midst of a dog eat dog world. Especially in your field. There was no place for weakness. But maybe this caused you to forget the simple joys of life.

However, since coming here a couple of weeks ago; living in paradise and having the chance to discover a life outside of pavements, and the rush of the 8am crowd trying to get to work, you visibly let down your guard. Meeting Taehyung, as much of a rocky start you two have had in the beginning, ended up being a blessing in disguise. Him and his squad showed you what living outside of your head and responsibilities meant - and you couldn’t be more grateful towards them. Especially the handsome man that decided to make it his personal mission to show you what ‘living life really meant’ - as he put it.

Truth was, despite your differences at the beginning, you knew you’d developed feelings for him. Seeing his affectionate side carefully chipped away at your perfectly crafted city girl tough act. Cautiously glancing at him, you took your time to commit to memory his calm and peaceful features, the ocean breeze blowing through his hair. And as you gazed at him, the shining dots from the city around you casting their glow over the both of you, you let yourself admit you were in love. In that moment nothing else mattered, not even the hefty amount of alcohol you drank. In retrospect, it should have been a warning sign, a signal for you to stop and think about your actions.

At the time, you didn’t care, the alcohol merely liquid courage for you to do what you had always wanted to. Carefully taking a step towards Taehyung, you reached for the hand closer to you, fingers brushing over his. As soon as he froze, you did too, your breath caught in your throat, scenarios of him walking away from you running through your head. It only took a second though, for him to alleviate your worries, his hand completing the journey of yours, fingers tightly woven together.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Taehyung breathed and you looked up at him in surprise. You didn’t know whether you said it out loud, or he was a mind reader, nor did you care. Those words were all you needed to hear. With a satisfied smile you bravely pulled yourself closer to him, head leaning on his shoulder.

****

The blissful feeling that wrapped itself around your whole being as you closed the door behind you, felt like a dream. Taehyung’s hand in yours, the two of you giggling like children as you drunkenly bumped into walls, you had never felt so carefree in your life, and you basked in the feeling, somehow aware, in the back of your mind that it may not last forever. But for that night, nothing else mattered but the two of you, and the summer evening was sweetened by the taste of alcohol on your lips.

“Shhh.” You loudly whispered bursting out into uncontrollable laughter when you realised the ridiculousness of the situation. Pulling him all the way into the garden, you settled for the bench behind the main palm tree. A bench where if you say you couldn’t see the sea, but if you dared look up, you could see the stars hanging above your head. Doing exactly that, your eyes narrowed, your whole attention onto the pitch black blanket littered by jewels.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked curiously, when you started counting the stars out loud.

“Counting stars.” You stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You should try it.” You turned around with a soft smile on your face as the moon and stars formed a halo around you, giving you an ethereal glow.

“I–“ he ran a hand through his unruly hair, the dark brown locks reminding you of deep rich chocolate. “You are leaving soon right?” He hesitated, the words bitter on his tongue. You couldn’t find the strength to reply, the words stuck in your throat so you settled for a light nod.

The silence that settled over the two of you felt uncomfortable and you shifted, the bench you two sat on making it difficult for you to not lean against him.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, feeling the beginning of a blush wash over you. He felt hot, the smell of sun and sea clinging onto his skin and you wanted nothing more but to bury yourself into his embrace.

Taehyung’s deep inhale brought you out of your own thoughts, finding the heat emanating off of him distracting. “I wish you wouldn’t leave so soon.” He whispered under his breath, making yours hitch in your throat. You glanced at him from under your lashes, only to discover that his whole attention was on the sky above your heads.

“What are you doing?” You blinked at him, throwing back at him his question from earlier. When he turned his attention back to you, the twinkle in his eyes seemed to shine as brightly as the lights above you.

“I’m wishing on a star.” He simply said, turning his attention back to the blanket of stars, completely oblivious to how his words had shifted your world.

****

Following your blissful few days with Taehyung, reality set in with a call that was enough to bring your world to a halt. Everything seemed to be sinking down into the ocean you had come to love. As you stared at your laptop screen, the words you wrote to Ye Won the day before about still sticking around in a hotel for another few weeks felt completely moot. The thought of having to not only say goodbye to her, but also her brother, the man who showed you that life was indeed more than pavements and pay raises, brought tears in your eyes.

It felt too good to be true, and maybe in a way, it was. You lived your summer of love, as brief as it had been, it was time to return to the real world. The words that kept ringing in your head after the call you had with your manager made you fall deeper and deeper into despair. You’re fired, the project fell through. No explanation as to why this would have been the reason to fire you, nor why they were not firing anyone else that had worked on that project, the call ended and left you empty and lifeless.

“Y/N.” Taehyung’s voice reverberated through the corridor as he made his way in and broke you out of your daze. With a sniffle, you wiped the stream of tears that continued to run down your face, but it was a futile attempt as not a second later he walked into the kitchen, catching you mid sob.

“Y/N.” Taehyung was not expecting to come in and find you looking so crestfallen, the dejected look on your face was a spear through his heart. Blissfully unaware of your situation he wondered what happened. “Are you...crying?” He cautiously approached you, not knowing what to do. His instincts telling him to comfort you, he tried to touch your trembling hand but you pulled away from him with such force he had to take a step back.

“I need to go.” You stood up from the counter, your eyes locked onto the clock ticking on the wall. A good reminder that time cannot stand still for you or your fancies. Taehyung’s pained expression did little to phase you, the panic in your heart, as reality began to set in, overriding any other thought or feeling. Despite the blissful weeks you’ve had with him, being accepted by the crew you knew it was time to wake up and realise this was not your reality.

“No.” Taehyung’s determined tone made you falter, and you looked at him eyes wide open in surprise.

“What do you mean no?” You questioned him, the weight of his words hitting you like a hammer to the head.

“You have been the better part of these past few weeks, I can’t let you go just like that. Not after that night. I don’t know what happened to make you change your mind, but it is fixable.” He explained, his hopeful expression making you resent him, and most importantly yourself. You fell into the trap of summer love, where emotions explode. But just like any other explosion, once the debris settles, there is only dust and ruin left. He had done nothing wrong, if there was one person to be blamed, it would be you. It hurt to know you were the one at fault, yet he would also be paying the price for your stupidity.

“Unfortunately my life doesn’t just revolve around you, or Hawaii, or this carefree attitude. I lost my job Taehyung.” You exclaimed, putting the necessary distance in between you and him, the distance that you should have made your heart set as well. “I have to find a job now, and all my life is back in London. This is borrowed time. Not my life.”

“Can you not see me as part of your life?” He pleaded, a last desperate attempt to grasp at smoke.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head, the heaviness that settled over your heart almost suffocating. In fact the sight of him did little to bring any good memories that you’ve had in this place, it only served as a reminder of what you couldn't have. Of what was not yours to take. “I’m sorry, I-” You paused wondering what you were doing, why were you bartering your heart like that. You cared for him, that much you knew yet, your mind knew it wasn’t enough for you to drop what you had known for a whole life.

“My flight is leaving soon.” You whispered, the silence that followed your earlier outburst too much for your guilt to be able to handle. You knew you were damaging a budding relationship, that you dared not think, may have been the best relationship you’ve ever had.

Taehyung didn’t dare utter another word. He couldn’t. He knew you needed to get away, he was more than aware that you needed space, even if that meant he had to watch you drag your suitcases out the door that shut right behind you, putting more and more distance between him and you.

****

“Georgie, no!” You shook your head vehemently at your friend, her pleading face doing nothing to soften your resolve. “I am not going to accept this.”

You quickly paced around the room as you hurriedly unpacked your bags from your trip doing your best to ignore the other person lounging like a cat on your sofa. You’d been away for a couple of days, the old city of Edinburgh being your destination. You may have enjoyed your time there a bit too much given the workload of your new job. So much that you barely had time to breathe. But this was what you needed. Time spent not at work meant time for your brain to start thinking about an island, and waves, and most importantly, surfers. Specifically one surfer.

“Come on, Y/N!” Georgie’s pout almost reached the floor yet you still wouldn’t budge. “It’s been a while since you’ve been on a date!” She tried to reason with you. Unbeknownst to her, this only served as fuel for your rising anger.

“Look Georgie, I have been on a date, and I did tell you about it.” You angrily slammed the dirty laundry in the basket. “And before you say anything, yes I did enjoy myself but–“ you paused, the strength you had earlier waning. Suddenly you felt tired, and with a sigh you let yourself fall onto the couch next to her. Rubbing your eyes, your mind once again invaded by sun kissed skin and the smell of salt, you tried your hardest to keep everything at bay.

“Oh love.” Georgie shifted on the couch, her warm hand enveloping yours in comfort. “I’m sorry, it’s just–“ she paused, offering your desperate look a rueful smile. “I just want to see you happy. You lost your job–“ you started to protest but she held her hand up to stop you. “As I was saying, you lost your job, and lost your heart, and all in the span of two months. And then you come back, get a new job within weeks and act like nothing has happened. I’m just worried about you.” She squeezed your hand and you felt your carefully crafted mask slip away. She was your best friend, if you couldn’t talk to her then who could you talk to?

“I just, I miss him.” The admittance tumbling out of your mouth made you feel so much lighter. Not better by any means, it just reiterated the feeling of hurt and hopelessness. You were more than aware it was your fault you’ve been feeling like this.

“It’s my fault.” You whispered, the desperation causing your voice to crack. Georgie sighed, and enveloped you into a hug, allowing you to hide your wayward tears into her top.

“It’s not your fault.” She argued, patting your back in a comforting way. “It isn’t.”

“But it is!” You sniffed, another sob wrecking through your body. “He confessed for God’s sake! And I left!” Not bothering to hide your sobs, you let yourself go, crying for what may have been, crying for Taehyung and his crestfallen expression when you announced you were leaving.

“Go back.” Georgie simply said and you pulled away from her, an incredulous look on your face.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to hear from me again.” You shook your head, your tears at bay for now. Sliding away from her, you put some distance between the two of you and you rubbed away the last stubborn tears. “It’s ok, I can do this. It’s just another hiccup.” You didn’t know where this strength was coming from, but you weren’t going to question it. You were not back in Hawaii anymore, no. You were in London. And you couldn't afford to live the same life you did in Hawaii. Emotions would have to wait.

“Right.” Georgie nodded at you unconvinced.

“Look–“ you sighed, “I will go on this blind date. If only to get used to being amongst Londoners again.” You laughed wryly, the feel of a new resolve making you hopeful. Yet, why did it feel like your heart was shattering even further?

When you agreed to go on a blind date you weren’t expecting to find yourself in front of the Tiki bar in the middle of the city, completely overdressed for the location. Glancing up at the colourful sign you sighed, trust Georgie to set you up with someone you would most likely not click with in the least.

Entering the bar, you tried to not get overwhelmed at the overly done decorations, tempted to stop a waiter, tell them how much you hated the place and leave. Had it been you before London, you may have even done that, but now you swallowed your words and instead approached them for a table.

“What name?” He inquired, tapping on his Ipad and you paused realising you had no name to give them.

“Uh, Y/N?” You tried, but when he shook his head your face fell. How were you meant to find the table without a name? You couldn’t just walk around the whole place asking people if they were waiting for their very late blind date.

“Excuse me, it’s Kim.” A deep voice spoke from behind you and you froze. Not only did you recognise the name, but also you recognised the voice better than your own. You dreamt of that voice. You didn’t dare turn around, not wanting to get your hopes up. Kim was a fairly common name, and London was big, maybe you were wrong.

Steeling your heart, hoping it didn’t jump out of your chest with how fast it was beating, you turned around.

“Hello, I'm Kim Taehyung, I believe I am your date for the evening?” Your mouth fell, eyes wide open and you seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Only when the waiter asked you to follow him did you move, your feet carrying you automatically as your mind was too busy trying to comprehend the situation.

“This place is all wrong.” You heard the mutter coming from behind you and you would have laughed had it not been for the rampant way your heart seemed to be racing. You wanted to turn around, to ask him what he thought he was doing there, but you didn’t have the courage to do so.

Brought to a table near the open windows, you chuckled at the discrepancy between the atmosphere inside the bar and the crisp air of nighttime London.

“It’s ridiculous isn’t it?” Taehyung joined you at the table, his hesitancy to pull the chair for you sorted by the waiter. Still chuckling, you glanced at him, the sparkle in his eyes making your breath catch. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed this, the glint in his eyes when his boxy wide smile took over. The mole on the tip of his nose, which you couldn’t see because of the lights in the bar but you knew it was there, having been close enough to him to observe it in detail.

“You’re not a Londoner.” You whispered to yourself and he laughed lightly, having heard you. “What–“ your voice cracked and you cleared your throat, clammy hands wiping themselves onto your skirt underneath the table. “What are you doing here?” You decided to take the bull by the horns, not wanting to waste another minute with mindless chat. The two of you have been through enough to skirt around sensitive topics.

Taehyung looked at you, the smile slipping off his face slowly, until it was gone, his expression becoming thoughtful. You had the urge to poke the crease between his furrowed eyebrows, loathing the knowledge he felt like this. But you chose to stay seated, hands gripping at your skirt, waiting for his response. You didn’t know when he became the one person who could make you or break you, but he did. The power this man had over you was absolutely impressive.

“I, uh–“ he rubbed the back of his head, a sheepish look on his face.

“Better yet, how did this,” you motioned between the two of you “–happen?” If you saw the flash of hurt cross Taehyung’s you didn’t mention it. Patiently waiting for him to answer, you knew you were putting him selfishly in a tight spot. He wasn’t the one who decided to give up on you. It was the other way round.

“Ye Won and your friend may have had something to do with it.” He sighed, his attention to the bypassers across the street. He tried hard to not look at you, he didn’t want to see once more the rejection in your eyes.

Waiting for him to turn around to face you, you stayed silent. You wanted to reach out across the table, his hand conveniently placed for you to grab it. But the knowledge of what he may be feeling stopped you, you had no right.

“But, why?” You stammered, your thoughts in disarray. There was so much you wanted to tell him, ask him, but you couldn’t get yourself to utter them outloud.

Taehyung turned his gaze back to you, the intensity with which his eyes bore through you made you shiver, your breath caught in your throat. It felt as if your soul lay naked before him, and as much as you wanted to look away you couldn’t. For a few seconds neither of you dared to break the silence that settled between the two of you.

“I promised–“ he paused to gather his thoughts, and you waited breath abated. “I promised I would always be there.” He admitted and you let out an involuntary whimper, his words piercing through your heart.

Taehyung gathered all his strength to carry on with his confession, the thought of you rejecting him once again weighing heavily on his mind. Last time he bit the bullet, diving in head on not considering what you may have been feeling, his own wishes overpowering any other considerations. “So I want to be there, regardless of how you want me to be there for you.”

He tried to be as nonchalant as possible, but the pleading look he offered you betrayed the emotional storm he felt inside. His words shifted something deep inside of you. As a city girl born and raised between pavements and tall buildings, you learnt that courage to stick up for yourself was an important survival trait. Hearing him confess his feelings not only once, but twice, made you realise that courage lies in more than one aspect. And you’ve been nothing but a coward.

“I’m in love with you.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. Eyes wide at your own admission you waited for him to say something.

“I–“ Taehyung felt disarmed. He had a long speech planned, he knew you’d not be easily swayed so he came with a foolproof plan, that not only Ye Won may have had a hand in but also your friends. To hear you say you were in love with him, as ecstatic as it made him feel, his brain struggled to catch up with what was happening.

“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. But I don’t think I would've been able to live with myself if I didn’t get this off my chest.” You reasoned. “I was stupid, and inconsiderate, and I’m sorry–“

The warmth of his hand enveloping yours made you freeze, your eyes locked onto the table, unable to meet his. Neither of you said a word for a while, the tropical music playing in the background making you feel uneasy.

“Where is the waiter?” You tried your hardest to change the subject, eyes scouring the place, doing your best to not glance at the dark haired man in front of you. The subtlety with which you tried to pull your hand away from him didn’t go unnoticed as Taehyung squeezed it, his attempt at keeping you there with him.

“Y/N.” The desperate plea in his voice stopped you dead in your tracks, your eyes now searching his instead of a place to escape to. The pain in his eyes made you realise he thought you were planning to reject him once more, completely oblivious to reality.

“You think I am going to leave you?” You breathed out, shocked. Taehyung didn’t reply but he didn’t need to, the frown marring his face was enough proof. You knew it wasn’t appropriate, but the ridiculousness of the situation made you burst out in laughter.

“I just told you I loved you, you idiot.” You huffed, Taehyung’s eyes widening at your obvious annoyance.

“But–“ He stammered, trying to make sense as to why you’d ask about the waiter.

“We should go.” You supplied shrugging while still looking around for the missing person. The relief Taehyung felt at your words could be easily read in the chuckle that escaped him. “I don’t know about you, but I'd rather not cause a scene here.” You finished, and when you still couldn’t locate the waiter you abruptly got up, pulling Taehyung along with you.

“Are you saying this is going to go down with a big emotional confession?” He couldn’t help himself as he teased you, the glimmer of mischievousness you found in his eyes making your heart beat faster.

“Oh shush you, otherwise I’ll leave you here.” You said as you navigated through the tables. There was nothing wrong with leaving before telling someone, but with his hand in yours, the lightness in your heart after your admittance made you feel like you were a teenager about to jump into the neighbour’s pool for a midnight swim.

“Can’t do that,” he teased as you both made your way outside into the chillier London air. Once out of view, he pulled you to him. “You just admitted you loved me.”

Hearing him say the words out loud made your breath catch in your throat. And without a second thought you stood on your tiptoes, your palms resting on his chest for stability. “Well loverboy, I can always take it back.” You whispered, your lips ghosting over his in a shy kiss.

In hindsight, you should have known not to tease him, as the force with which he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you to him, his lips searching for yours took you by surprise. The heat of his lips, slightly bruising, felt familiar, like home, and you soon lost yourself in it. A satisfied sigh escaped you and you let your hands wonder, as he coaxed your lips open, his tongue searching for yours.

The loud whistle from a taxi driving past you made you remember you were still in the middle of the city, out in the open for everyone to see.

“And we still managed to cause a scene.” You laughed pulling yourself away, his hand not leaving your midriff. “Let's go, where are you staying?” You asked, quickly realising you didn’t even know why he was there in the first place.

“The office.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t an important bit of information and you looked at him questioningly. “I uh–, came here for the opening of my new branch. My office decided to extend from the US to the UK which was the perfect opportunity .” The tone of his voice was so neutral you could’ve fooled yourself he was talking about the weather instead of important information which he ought to have shared a while ago.

“You–“ you stopped yourself from chastising him, he could fill you in on this later. For now you just wanted to enjoy your newfound summer love and hopefully help it grow into something more as time went by.

“You didn’t think I only surfed right?” He laughed, his fingers digging into your hip as he glanced down at you. Blushing at his softened gaze you shook your head and mumbled under your breath. “What was that?” He cocked his head to the side, his smile growing bigger.

“Doesn’t matter, you can tell me all this when we are on the tube.” You hurriedly supplied, before looking at him with an impish smile. “Or, we could–“ you stopped walking and turned around to face him. “Just do,” you placed a suggestive hand on his chest, your voice low, “other things on the tube.”

“The tube?” His eyes widened and you laughed reaching up on your tiptoes to kiss him again. Grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze you pulled away and winked at him.

“Don’t worry, it’s like riding a wave.”

main masterlist

[pipkin-the-hellion]

I saw your post about The Sea Beast while I was looking through tags and I wanted to chime in. I think the whole "Maisie turns sea beast biologist" would have been a cool thing from an audience perspective, but her not doing that is a better message. They don't try to tame the beasts, they don't continue to bother them to study them, they just leave them alone. Those beasts have been hunted for hundreds of years, they deserve to be left alone and not poked and prodded for science. Plus, "I'm going to live a great life." Maisie's life has been defined by sea monsters pretty much from the beginning, and now she's going to live a life of her own without them. Her studying them would have been cool, but imo leaving them alone is the better message. Also, with why did the kingdom start the war, I saw another post talking about that. Basically A: they opened up trade routes through waters that were previously too dangerous with the beasts, because even tho they might not have started the war I'd bet there were still beasts wrecking ships before it, and B: Just because we don't see anything being done with the horns doesn't mean they're just stored away. It's entirely likely they're used for jewelry or "medicine" or other things wealthy people would love to buy. You can't tell me there aren't rich people lining up to get a necklace or ring or something with a bit of sea beast horn in it, and just tossing the horns after is wasteful. It would have been better if they'd shown that though.

Thank you for taking the time to think about what I said!

I have to agree with your point about "leaving the beasts alone" and Maisie abandoning the sea being fitting for the story. However I personally find it deeply unsatisfying. I cannot put a pin on why precisely. I believe it feels... like something that wouldn't happen so easily, especially if your livelihood and comforts came from crossing through their territory. I'm also a massive sucker for animals (real or imagined) and so not seeing more of them in detail was disappointing to me. Oh well, the film DID only advertise THE Sea BEAST and we got that with Red.

The horn thing, the more I think about it the more I would love an explanation as to WHY the film makers didn't sprinkle taking trophies as a thing all over the background? It couldn't be too hard to have bones and horn items everywhere, or the jealous mention of how only the royals keep the best ivory and horn for themselves. It would be a better service to the film to see or hear snippets of that than the whole poorly handled "witch" part.

[limenysnocket]

Attention and Company

I couldn't help myself. @honorarytenenbaum

Summary: Sometimes you need someone to chill with, and that's okay. Maybe that person is your boyfriend who also gets a little roughed up at work sometimes. Pubs can sustain you both for only so long, but what you really need is to curb yourselves in the mall parking lot, right next to a shaved ice food truck.

Warnings: Just some light swearing, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and some brief mentions to "raunchy" behavior. This is a soft fic for y'all tonight, out here needin' some gentle lovin'.

A/N: Got some lonely feelings right now. I just wanna hug someone, dude. Yo, we could totally watch a movie over discord sometime... maybe.

○●□○●□○●□○●□○

Today sucked. Flat out. The bags under your eyes didn't lie, and now here you were, outside of your studio, sitting on the hood of your car, eating a granola bar to stave off hunger for a few more hours. Hopefully.

You pull your phone from your pocket, looking at the time for a moment, then looking at your screensaver. It was the only thing that could make you smile. You had your arm wrapped around one of your closets friends, Taika, and the phone didn't capture it, but he had his arm wrapped around your waist. His curls were all messed up, and the picture perfectly showed how drunk you both were by the fuzzy pink on your cheeks. It was 99 cent beer night at one of the local pubs, and unlike the first one held at a baseball game, all went well.

Of course, there was a limit to how much the two of you were allowed to drink, but that didn't stop the many failed attempts at stealing other people's drinks while they were looking away, just to get a taste more. Didn't matter that you guys were eventually thrown out of the bar for breaking rules and coming close to breaking a few faces, you had a great night.

That night also lead to a few other places, including his hotel room, but that end of the story has to be saved for another time.

Instead of staring at your phone for another century, you decide to unlock it and dial the man up. You knew he was somewhere around here, either charming his way onto another movie set to mess with his rich friends, or getting his tired ass kicked by daylight savings.

His number was saved to your favorites, so dialing him was quick and easy. The wait for him to pick up didn't last long either.

"Talk to me..."

God, his voice sounds like one big yawn. Looks like he needs a bit of perking up too.

"I've got two curbside tickets to eat a snow cone and watch kids do loops on their bikes in the parking lot. One of those tickets has your name on them," you grin, despite sounding exhausted too. The day really made you strain your voice.

His musical laughter really makes the sun look brighter from its low position in the sky.

"That's oddly specific... where would these magical tickets take me afterwards?" He had cocked his eyebrows up and leaned against his office door while he spoke to you.

"If this were a booty call, I would have told you already, Taik," you snort and tease him. "So, it's either make yourself fat on some weirdly flavored snow cone, or take your horny-ass home."

"Okay, okay... I'd like to make myself fat for a night, as long as your there," his voice is dreamy, desperate and warm. "You there already?"

"Nope," your lips pop the p, "but I'm nearby."

"I swear to God, if you're talking and driving, I'm gonna whoop your ass," Taika stood up, acting serious when he was just really worried about your safety in general.

"I'm not, I'm fine," you laugh again. "Not even in the car. Sitting on it though, trying to convince the world's sexiest man to go out with me again."

"And you said this wasn't a booty call," he retorts over the phone, making you playfully glare at the asphalt on the road. It's like he's in front of you.

"You coming or not?" you change the subject and you hear him laugh again, but softer.

"Yeah... I'll be there in a few minutes, gorgeous."

He always made goodbyes so easy. Maybe it was because you both knew you would be seeing each other again, no matter what circumstances you were thrown into. But the dial tone still had its effects.

You slip off the hood of your car, and take a seat in the driver's seat. The warm summer air makes your skin glow, and your brain went fuzzy only imagining it doing the same to Taika.

The drive feels so quiet. For a moment, you actually thought about calling him again, but you knew for a fact that he wouldn't pick up if he was driving.

As predicted, kids are zooming around on their bikes, showing off to their friends or trying to be cool, even though they all were obviously teary-eyed each time they scraped a knee. It was amusing to you and Taika, especially when some of the older boys would try to catch your attention and zip past you and Taika. It ended up being a heckle fest in the end, and some kid always went home with his butt hurt.

Keys and wallet in hand, you trek to the small, blue trailer tucked in the corner of the parking lot.

"Damn, you must have beat me here by just a few seconds," Taika calls, rustling his way through the small spaces between a couple of cars.

"Well, you've never been a speed demon type, so last place is your calling when it comes to racing," you guwaf and grin at him. He rolls his eyes and comes to walk right next to you.

"I pride myself on road safety," he hums, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

You glance at him from the side, just to silently check up on him. His hair was tousled and his eyes were resteless. It looks like he had it rough from the start. He had struggled to get dressed this morning, but picked the most eccentric clothes in his closet to make up from his lack of sleep.

"Dare you to try the dill pickle flavor this time," his cocky tone wakes you up.

"Like hell I will," you snort as you finally reach the trailer, where a teen boy happily greets the both of you.

"Oh come on, it'll be funny," he eggs you on, his bottom lip pouting.

"Keep trying to make me get dill pickle, and the next time we have a movie night together, I'm getting the pizza," you sniff and he rolls his eyes. He thinks it is an odd threat. "And I'm making it all Hawaiian pizza." That got his attention.

"Bull shit, you would never. Not on a perfectly good pizza!" He gasps.

"Oh, just watch me, pineapple boy," you snicker and point to his pineapple print shorts. You break conversation to order two piña colada flavored snow cones. Taika usually took for-fucking-ever when it came to picking a single flavor, so ever since the second time you've been out here with him, he assigned you to choose for him. He usually got what you got.

Now, you wait.

You plop yourself down on the curb, as you promised, and he joined you with a long, loud groan. You give him a bewildered stare, wondering if his age had really gotten him this much. He smiles at you through a wince.

"Sat on my keys," he wheezes and chuckles at his own stupidity under his breath.

Your eyes float down to where he pulls out his keys and you start giggling quietly.

"Oh, come on, I'm sure you've done the same thing," Taika says, not handling the fact that you have new material to mess with him, and also trying to get some stories out of you.

"Well yeah, but I don't sit down as violently as you do," you prod his bicep, and he laughs.

"Such a lady. Must sit down gracefully and slowly," he says, mocking an English accent, but he was horrible at accents so of course it was bad. You smack his bicep this time, and he playfully flinches, like it hurt.

"I really need to get you into some accent classes or some shit, before you get your teeth knocked out," you shake your head with a smile.

"What? I think I'm great at accents. My American accent is the best one yet, don't you think?" He smirks at you, and proceeds to demonstrate. "All you have to do is put an 'er' at the end of everything, right? That's totally how they speak around here."

"I would be careful, Mr. Waititi. Could get in some trouble if you say that too loudly," you roll your eyes, and he sighs. Yeah. Things were going to shit in LA. It was clear to everyone, but what could two hollywood producers do to stop things like that? Keep making films, you guess.

"Two, large piña coladas!"

You look up, and so does he.

"I'll get them," you volunteer, but he places his hand on your shoulder before you could get up.

"Let me," he speaks softly, in a damn near whisper.

He stands up and strides right over to the trailer with so much confidence, you're envious. He comes back with two large styrofoam cups in hand, spoons, and a warm smile. His smile was always warm. It set fire in your belly.

He sits down a bit more carefully this time, even though his car keys were sitting in the grass, far away from his landing zone. He hands you your cup and a spoon.

"Do these have alcohol in them?" He nudges you with your elbow and you shake your head.

"As if they would let a seventeen-year-old serve alcoholic beverages," you throw in logic.

"I dunno... ever been to a ballpark before? Pretty sure some of those kids are way too young to be peddling there too, but that doesn't stop people from hiring them," he says while pointing his spoon at you.

"Fair point," you finish, then look at your snow cone. You decide to start eating before it melts.

Silence swarms the air, but comfortably. There's the occasional murmur of cicadas or humming cars drowning them out. Birds would land on the scorching asphalt to pick at whatever crumbs were left by other patrons, before fluttering away at the sight of a zooming bike getting too close for comfort.

Taika will point out a few of the kids doing tricks. He picks his favorites for the night, and he keeps himself busy by watching them. You, on the other hand, are occupied with him. You examine him from the tips of his dirty white chucks, to his frazzled hairdo.

"You look like shit," you mutter. He barely pays you mind and that comment was hardly acknowledged. It was like the air had gone a bit stiffer. He was hiding something from you.

"What's going on, Taik?" you worry. He never kept things from you, unless they were hard to bear.

He sets his cup down and holds his hands together. He looks so tired. So solemn.

"Today was total shit," he whispers and runs a hand through his hair.

"Well, yeah, I get that. I wouldn't have known if you had looked a little spiffier," you say, reaching out and gently tucking a curl on his forehead back in place with all the rest of its friends.

"Look, I--..." he says, turning to you, lips parted slightly, and a yearning sensation bubbling from the tips of his fingers as he rests a single hand on you.

There were tough times with the occupancy you both, willingly, chose. The hardest part about it was making friends, or making love, then finding out you have to leave it behind for a new location the next morning.

"I have to leave... for Sydney..." he says, reaching to gently take your cheek into the palm of his hand.

"When?" you manage, though you were clearly becoming upset.

"In a few weeks. Thor is waiting for me," he sighs, barely able to look at you while his thumb rubbed your ample cheek.

"And what does this have to do with me?"

"I don't want to leave you," he says, tilting your head up just the slightest bit. "And I don't want to stop loving you."

Your eyes search his for a moment, wide and a bit confused.

"I thought you said we were just a fling with--"

He cuts you off, "A fling with benefits. I know..." he sighs again, "but every time I find myself waiting for you to call on a shitty day, each time you rest your head on my shoulder, all the times you smile at me and tease me, I find myself falling... more in love with you." He has to pause to breathe.

It's so quiet. Dangerously quiet.

"What happens if I love you too...?" you muster your courage, and look right into his expressive, brown eyes.

"I don't know," he says to you, thumb still rubbing circles.

"Guess there's only one way to find out, huh?" you breathe, and he nods.

Still as statues, you wait for words to touch the air. It's only when his foot makes a wrong move and knocks over his snow cone, does the tension break.

His bottom lip pouts for him again and you quietly pick his spoon up off the ground. You clean it on your shirt and hand it to him, all before taking your cup, and holding it out to share. He smiles down at you, taking his spoon from your hand and sticking it into the shaved ice.

Your head leans against his shoulder when the sun disappears behind the mall building.

"I love you too," you whisper.

"I know," he says back, sucking at the tip of his spoon.

"Think we can keep this up over the phone?" you ask, wondering about a brief virtual relationship, just until one of you catches a break.

"Guess there's only one way to find out, huh?" he says, lowering his spoon, wrapping his arm around you, and giving you his full attention.

[connorssock]

would,, would you ever consider a part 2 to Beloved Monster?? It's so so cute, I'd love to see more of it.

Meep, I really wanted to write more for it but at the same time I wasn’t sure where to take it. Because I wanted everyone to imagine Nines as they desired, so if they wanted Nines to have tentacles, he could. If they wanted him to be the size of thumb? Not a problem. Though perhaps…I wonder if this would work:

Beloved Monster Part 2

After that fateful night, when Nines finally let himself lie in bed next to Gavin, things didn’t get a lot different. As far as Gavin could tell, Nines only lay on top of the covers and shied away from touch to start with. Though occasionally, Gavin would have half memories of cuddling something warmer than usual even if in the morning his bed was empty and cold.

However, Nines seemed reluctant to do anything more other than keep Gavin company from on top of the covers. No matter how much Gavin wheedled, there was no budging Nines. At least, not until Gavin got ill.

It wasn’t anything serious, a sore throat, temperature and general malaise which made him sulky.

“It’s too warm,” he whined as he kicked the covers off one night. Within minutes there was a cool chill to the air and what felt like an arctic vortex next to him. “What are you doing?”

“Making it cool,” Nines grumbled back. Gavin tried to protest that Nines was always warm until then, it made no sense that the temperature drop was down to Nines. However, the change to cold swapped out to warmer as his fever climbed and a chill settled into his bones. It was nice, the way Nines seemed to adjust for him.

“How hot do you run usually anyway?” Gavin mumbled, half asleep.

“A little cooler than a human.” There was the distinct feel of a shrug on the bed.

“Thanks for, you know, being so accommodating.”

“My pleasure, Gavin,” Nines rumbled and another wave of heat engulfed them.

The temptation to reach for him and curl into his warmth was too much and Gavin allowed himself a moment to bask in it. Nines was surprisingly solid under his arms as he cuddled. Even better, an arm slowly settled across Gavin’s chest and pulled him in.

No matter how much Gavin poked and prodded, he never did get an answer to what Nines looked like in reality. The fact that he could fit under his fridge but was also capable of taking up half the bed meant that he had to be able to change shape. Quite drastically at that.

“When can I see you?” Gavin wheedled. “I swear I’ve held your tentacle when we watched that shitty film the other day.”

“Working on form,” was all Nines said and left the mystery as was.

It pained Gavin, his curiosity was getting the better of him. Each time he touched Nines, he was certain he felt different. Scaly some days, sooth and human on others. The day Gavin woke up to a slightly damp and slick covered bed, Nines didn’t talk to him for the whole day.

Rather than leave food for Nines under the fridge, Gavin began to leave plates of food for him at the dinner table. it was only the first time that he had to explain that the plate did not form part of the meal. After that, the plate was always licked clean but there wasn’t even a nibble mark left on the edge.

They were sat on the sofa again and in the soft flickering of the screen, Gavin could see Nines. He had humanoid features though in such low lighting it was difficult to tell exactly what he looked like.

“You may touch,” Nines offered without turning to look. It made Gavin wonder whether the eyes he could see were there for functionality or aesthetics.

He didn’t need to be told twice. Gavin turned away from the screen and in one unexpected move straddled Nines’ lap and his fingers moved to explore his face.

“You feel handsome,” he offered with a small grin, “but it would be easier to tell with the light on.”

A moment’s hesitation later, he could have sworn he felt something shift under him even if Nines was still there. He blinked as the lights turned on and caught a tendril sneaking back into Nines’ body as though it had never been there to start with.

“Huh, handy.”

“It does not displease you?” Nines sounded uncertain.

With Herculean effort, Gavin silenced all inappropriate comments as he took in Nines for the first time.

“Not at all. You don’t just feel handsome, you look it too.”