#I'd smash why lie!!!!!!!!!!

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

I just finished the first episode of the Fallout series and... Guys? The cowboy?

[wisteriasonthemoon]

Do coincidences strike twice?

oh yeah, my replay. I got distracted. I was in chapter 1, at the very first free-time event

this is a great place to start blogging about it again, because there's a question that has been bugging me that Kokichi's event provides great context for. I would like to call upon fandom collective memory for a potential answer

in his FTE #1, Kokichi claims that he and Kaede have met before, but she's forgotten about him. after Kaede questions him, Kokichi goes into a very short story about how they supposedly met. he then rescinds his claim

Kokichi: Hmmm, let's see. We met... Kokichi: ...under hostile circumstances similar to this. Kaede: Huh? Kokichi: You sheltered me while I was on the run from my enemies. With your piano skills, you managed to raise enough money to fund my escape... Kokichi: But then I betrayed you! I sold you out to my enemies and you were swiftly killed! Kaede, thinking: Th-there is no freaking way any of that is true... Kaede: That was all a lie! Kokichi: Yup, it sure was! We met each other here! I can't believe you fell for that, Kaede. You're such a sucker. Kaede: Geez... Kaede, thinking: Yeah... This is the sort of prank a kid who wants attention would pull.

because of the fantastical and vague nature of the story, Kaede dismisses him without much consideration and some agitation, yada yada, Kaede leaves annoyed

okay, context established. smash cut. tumblr town time now

so, there's this DRV3 theory post from 2021 by tumblr user fit-artichoke8738 that I really enjoy. well, I say theory post, but it doesn't attempt to conclude anything about the game or its' mysteries. it's more of a musing connection between two background details: the DICE logo and Kaede's research lab door

for those of you who didn't click the link, basically, Kaede's research lab door resembles the right half of the DICE logo. or, to put it another way, the right half of the DICE logo resembles piano keys. like this

that's it, that's the whole post. fit-artichoke8738 doesn't further speculate. which is all well and good, because although nobody points it out in the notes, the right half of the DICE logo is ... the "C" and "E" in DICE ...

... probably??? right???

which means this could easily be explained as an artistic coincidence. both are black and white, composed of common shapes, and the devs might have not been thinking about the similarities given all the time and work that goes into creating a game like DRV3

I have an addition though. is this *also* an artistic coincidence

IS IT?

did the devs consciously choose to write Kokichi doing a "you were my ally once! psych!" rug pull on Kaede in his first free-time event with her and then they just. spilled paint and accidentally made this design on her shirt

a design, btw, that I am aware is officially listed in the DRV3 in-game gallery as her former high school emblem. it also names the school as "Shining Star International High School". it's a reference to Seisa International, a real conglomerate of International schools in Japan, or so claims the danganronpa.fandom wiki

the only post I can find of similar speculation is from 2020 on VK, a Russian social media, where someone else pulls "LIE" out of the same emblem, just without utilizing the whole thing

and jokes aside, I can guess why this isn't talked about much. this is a background detail, the framework that most people (seem to) view the truth of DRV3 is through Tsumugi's game-show explanation, and there are several ways to dismiss the "DICE" reading, including but not limited to the fact that Kaede has a very inconsistently rendered emblem between her cut-scenes and sprites

but I expected to be able to *find* that dismissal. like "oh. that's weird. ANYWAY." kind of posts. nada. am I missing them??? where are they??? I'd love to understand where the logic for current DRV3 interpretations comes from. the lack of theory discussion these days makes that difficult for me. might as well start with what happened with this idea, since I'm interested in it

if anybody knows, that would be cool. and with that out of my system. I'll resume replay next weekend. maaaaaybe tomorrow

[fandonnavyce]

Ecto-Implosion 2024

Credit to @chaseacer-ghostedition for their amazing art.Fic below

The table broke the silence with a loud complaint. With heavy groans, the table cracked in two, and the collapsed ghostling began melting on top of the broken heap; a smashed table and its splattered breakfast. Dripping flesh, spilling like tipped soup, oozed and mixed with the food, making a runny mash and green milky mess stick and stain the mansion’s expensive carpet.  

Dan leapt back to get out of the splash zone as the ghostling struggled to get up in a puddle of their own ecto, the smushed food, and broken crockery. Feeling a little homicidal about the ruined meal, Dan fired up an ecto-blast - no need to go ghost to finish off a ghost that can barely keep itself together. Dan fully aimed to turn the intruder into a burnt smear.

“No, Stop!”

Vlad shouts as he forcibly moves in-between them to block Dan. Dan rears back in sheer surprise. His ecto-blast fizzles out and a pair of red eyes stare at Vlad in wide disbelief. Dan's utterly bewildered at Vlad's vehemence in stopping him. Dan felt his lips twist into snarl. His chest ached with defensive hurt at the implied reproval and rejection in Vlad’s actions of Dan’s actions. This hurt surged when Vlad, without further word or explanation, dismisses Dan and turns his back on him in favour of giving his attention to the ghostling instead. The ghost that had so rudely and messily intruded breakfast. 

Dan watched Vlad get on his knees and, whilst skirting the disgusting mess the ghostling had made, Vlad softly approached the intruder. But the moment Vlad opened his mouth to say something, he got punched in the face. 

“I know I deserve that. But -” Vlad gets scratched on the other cheek. The man takes a deep breath. “I” and Vlad catches the third blow in his hands - that final blow had been the weakest of the three. Dan sneers at the feral behaviour. 

“The fuck? Is it rabid?” Dan calls out derisively. 

“Language,” Vlad reprimands Dan.

“Who the fuck are you calling an it?!” The ghostling snarls, wriggling and wrenching their hand free from Vlad's grasp before unsteadily pulling itself onto its feet. Vlad easily lets the ghostling go, with no reprimand for its language Dan sulkily notes. And still Vlad, now standing, continues to give it his full attention. 

“Enough. I understand that I very much deserve your wrath, but I'd rather you not waste your energy when you're so clearly not well. Let me help you,” Vlad patiently offers. Dan crossed his arms and huffed, as he rolled his eyes. Dan could not see why, after being so violently rebuffed, Vlad even still bothered.

“Over my fully dead melted body will I accept your help Vlad,” the feral ghostling snarled, “I'm going to Danny.”

“Excuse me?!” Dan pulls a face, “are you talking to me?”

The ghostling pulls her attention away from Vlad and for the first time, it properly sees Dan face to face. At first their expression (what of their face that isn’t gooey and dripping) is one of shock. Then it morphs into outrage, flickers with disgust, as it settles into a sneer. The ghostling sends Vlad a venomous look.

“I see that you've finally got the son you've always wanted,” Daniel’s failed clone snarled up at him.  

Taking a deep breath, lashing out in anger would be the wrong thing to do, Vlad then chose to speak to the failed clone in a conciliatory tone. 

“Ok I know what it looks like but it's not what it looks like,” he tries to placate. It’s unsuccessful. The failure shoots Vlad a deadpan look. Vlad barely manages to suppress a flinch.

“So he’s not a clone of Danny?” 

Vlad grimaces at the pointed and justified accusation. From behind, Dante belligerently interjects.

“No I’m not. Now who the fuck are you?” he vulgarly asked.  Vlad deeply sighs. ‘Truly this is karma’, he thinks to himself.

“This is my daughter, Danielle.” The words lie heavy on his tongue as the meaning of what he just said slowly settles in his mind. The implications and the responsibility he had so easily forgotten and discarded smacks him full force in his face. This disaster of a clone was his daughter! And she was desperately hurt.

“I beg your fucking pardon,” Dante shouts at Vlad before turning to glare Danielle. He looks at her with extreme distaste.

Danielle meets Dante’s glare with a sharp sardonic smile, her lips ready to unleash barbed words in retaliation. 

Vlad quickly looks back and forth between his two children. He feels a rising panic at his loss of control of the situation and a sinking sense of alarm at their burgeoning hostility. 

“Oh no, did you think you were an only child?” Danielle asks with saccharine sweet venom. Her eyes glint with malice. “Nah Vlad’s made lots of us clones.” She cocks her head and faux-lightly asks, “I wonder how many failures lie between me and you?” 

Her words were initially directed at his son to hurt him, but Dani then switched targets. She aims her rage onto Vlad and stares him down. Vlad is bereft of speech, guilt and shame had seized his tongue. From behind, Vlad hears Dante sputter back an answer. 

“No, I mean yes, I mean shut up.” Rage and confusion has clearly deadened his son’s usual eloquence.

Dante moves out from behind Vlad and into his line of sight. He excludes Dani by pointedly turning his back on her, thus also entirely blocking Vlad’s view of Danielle. Dante locks in full direct eye contact with Vlad.  

“You have a daughter ?! Is that thing,” Dante blindly points, “supposed to be my sister?!” he whines with teenage entitlement. Blasely lounging on the floor behind Dante in a gooey puddle of her own ectoplasm, Danielle interrupts. 

“Don’t worry, Vlad’s not my father,” she reassures Dante in a relaxed tone between attempts to mop and squeegee her melting body back together. “I disowned him the day he left me to die because I wasn’t Danny’s perfect clone son,” she seethes.

Dante silently waits for Vlad to give his side of the story.

“Do I have a daughter? In a manner of speaking, yes.” Vlad tentatively admits. “After all, I am responsible for her creation. But as you can see our familial ties have been severed. That being said,” Vlad moves forward so that speak to his daughter over Dante’s shoulder, “Danielle please, will you let me help you? You are quite literally dissolving before my eyes.”

Danielle loudly scoffed, “You never cared before.”

“And I apologise for that. My previous behaviour, especially towards you, has been shameful.”

Danielle freezes and looks up at Vlad, truly gobsmacked. 

“Who even are you?” Danielle gasps. “Are you a clone?”

Vlad flinches. “No I’m not a clone,” he denies. He finds himself surprisingly hurt by her derisive disbelief. But it was understandable. Danielle, was the child that he had for a time raised like a daughter, and he had betrayed her. For the single act of not being a perfect copy of Daniel, he had not even wanted to save her. Why would she believe that he cared about her physical distress now when he had so callously proven that he had “never cared before”? Why wouldn’t she logically deduce that such an offer couldn’t possibly come from him? Now Danielle was staring up at him with utter revulsion. 

From the floor Dani stared up at Vlad, who had just apologised and then denied being a clone, and wished she was anywhere but here, doing anything but this. She wished at least she had Danny there with her whilst she was dissolving into a puddle of goo. Danny, even if he didn’t have any Ecto-Dejecto on him, would at least be more helpful and reassuring, than Vlad and his awful, moody, perfect clone son.

It had all gone so wrong, so quickly. One minute she was fine, the next she realised she was feeling really faint. By the time she realised it was because she was destabilising again it was already a race against time and she was losing. Badly. Being in a whole different state, flying took energy she couldn’t afford to lose but, if she was somehow going to make it to Danny, not flying would take time she couldn’t afford to waste. It had been exhausting. Both mentally and physically taxing to balance out her limited time of existence against her remaining distance and stamina. But she had almost made it. She had made it to Amity Park. All she had left to do was to find Danny. Or at least one of his friends, or even Valerie, or Danny’s sister Jazz. They hadn’t met before but she was still an option, a better option. But no. Instead when her powers guttered, and glitched, and she was free-falling to Earth, unable to restart her powers and go ghost, it was Vlad’s fucking mansion she fell through the roof of. This was a nightmare. She needed to leave. But her powers were out of reach, and her body was struggling to remain solid. 

Meanwhile that manipulative, heartless, piece of shit was pretending that he wanted to help her. As if she couldn’t see Danny’s shitty perfect clone standing angrily right there in front of her. Therefore Vlad was, evidently , still on his bullshit. So no, she wasn’t going to believe his nice words and promises, never again. She wasn’t going to be tricked, or used, or manipulated to somehow hurt Danny. Even if Vlad finally got his perfect clone son, there was no way he was done being a total bastard.         

“I only wish to redeem myself,” Vlad lies. He looks so apologetic and honest and genuine. Dani wants to scream in his face. It couldn’t be real . This was all lies. Vlad was just, once again , lying and trying to trick and manipulate her. Just like he had done to her, just like he had done to Valerie. 

Dani flings herself forward, heat seething beneath her skin, as she fires up an ecto-blast. Her fist is raised but before can she fires a shot, goo squelches between her clenched fingers.

Like a deflated balloon, Dani lets her anger go - her anger is causing her to destabilise faster. Defeated by her own body, Dani miserably watches her arm turns to liquid. She calmly pats her flesh back into shape like it’s soft clay. When she is done she’s surprised to find Vlad staring silently at her with a concerned and worried look on his face.

She asks squint-eyed, “Are you Ok? Are you like possessed? Have you been brainwashed, or like are you under magical influence or?”

“I'm sincere.”

“Sounds fake.”

“Why?!” 

Dani drags her judgemental gaze over to look side-long at the other clone in the room. She silently lets that make her argument for her. Vlad had the good grace to at least look sheepish.  

Dani looks Sad Vlad up and down. She internally groans at what she is considering doing. She looks Sad Vlad up and down again. Dani gustily sighs.

“Ok Vlad, if this isn't a trick AND you're not brainwashed AND you do want to help me then take me to Danny” demanded Dani. Vlad agrees suspiciously quickly. “I'm also going to need a bucket,” Dani orders. From her shoulder, a blob of flesh drips and stains Vlad’s expensive carpet.

Danny’s shitty perfect clone pulls a face, “Ew.”

The End

[fleursbending]

THE TAILS OF TSU'TEY AND TONOWARI. | 18+

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : do you see that pun ?? isn't it so funny ?? ^^ hahahahaahahahahahha.. okay here u go whores have sum headcanons 🙏🏼‼️‼️ (i was gonna link the jake sully one but i think everyone and their mom has seen it). this filthy asf i did not hold back. my mind ran and fell out of my ass. edit / ok the bullet points were glitching out for wari but i'm hoping it is okay now!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : MDNI, nsfw, UHMM seggsy times with blue big ass aliens idrk what else to say ?!?!? choking, overstim, brief degrading, mention of somnophilia & oral (f! receiving).

✰ 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐈 :

wari knew you were drawn to his tail, for a differing amount of reasons. one of them being that it made you feel really good

and he'd be so consumed by making you feel good, because you're his girl. your pleasure tops everything for him

like his tail is so thick in and the width of it is so girthy lord

"take it like the good girl you are." he'd say as he forces you beneath him and lets his tail gravitate up your leg to where you need him most

i just see his tail acting before he can even fully think of what he was about to do

whether it is in his possessive nature, or just watching out for you

he'd totally use the width and thickness of it to his advantage come on. probably would let it lay in between your plushy thighs and press it against your throbbing clit.

"ahh" he'd say, as he would spit in your mouth - making you swallow it as you grind down on his tail.

I'm not sure how sensitive the metkayinas tails would be considering how different they've adapted to their surroundings, but i'd like to think

if you were to tug on it, it'd still elicit a deep guttural grown from tonowari

he'd fist your hair and smash your lips against his, nibbling at your bottom lip

"yeah? is all of this mine?" he'd growl, hands groping your ass and squeezing it.

wari would whisper such filth to you as his lips hover right over yours, basking in your whines and moans that waver in differing octaves.

"what's wrong, sweetheart? can't take anymore? why? oh...-" he'd let out a low chuckle. "is that it? i don't care. keep going."

his tail would be like. undeniably smooth.. so imagine thigh riding but switch thigh with tail lol!

some of y'all gonna be like wtf!! but dont lie to me ik some of u guys are eating that concept up

like him gripping your hips and pulling you up and down, other hand trailing down to press his thumb on the pearl of your clit and gently just rubs

or when you've made him fucking angry he'd use his tail as some sort of fuck toy until your legs are too sore to keep going.

like he'd give you such a condescending glare, "what? you're spent? when did i tell you to stop?"

tonowari is a beefy man, and with all that strength lordddd you're all gonna be going at it for quite some time !!

like ik for a fact he'd make you use his tail to get off until you reach the point of pure exhaustion

he'd let out a booming laugh, making you comfortable as he just towers over you

"guess it's my turn now"

and his cock would just be so ready for your cunt

and he'd coo at you as you let out something akin to a scream and a cry as your poor lil hole is finally filled with himmm and his balls would just smack at your skin lorddd

there'd be instances where you'd go on midnight swims and his tail would just curve into your waist pushing you closer to his proximity.

he'd have a wolfish grin as your chest presses into this, hands palming at every inch of your skin.

and as things get more heated, more desperate. you'd begin to tug him back to shore, to head to your shared mauri.

but he'd insist with a shake of his head, grasping below your thighs and wrapping them around his waist.

his head would dip down then, hovering over your ear. his breath making the hairs on the back of your head stand.

"how about i just take you here?" like! ok yes pls-

i can just imagine his tail sometimes pushing the ends of your hair back so he could have access to your chest, kissing you everywhere.

like not to deter but tonowari is such a boobs guy like he'd fr suck on your nipples while bucking into you real deep.

mans has such a high sexdrive like, he's going to crave you constantly. especially if he didn't have a successful hunt, or people in the clan are way to up his ass that day.

either he'd fuck you into oblivion, or just sit back and let you use him however you wish.

his tail swishes ever so slightly at the mere thought of you, that's the affect you have on him.

he doesn't know if it's possible but the next thing on his kink list is to definitely somehow choke you with his tail as he fucks you.

you'll have more than enough time together alone, (especially on your night escapades) for him to really test those, so be ready

✰ 𝐓𝐒𝐔'𝐓𝐄𝐘 :

let me just say. he'd be gripping your throat as his lips are so precise with the way they kiss yours in that very moment

and you wouldn't acknowledge it at first as he leans in closer to you. not even realising his tail that trails up your leg

but then it would tug at your loin cloth. once to check how tightly it is on. two to check the waters. 3 to rip it right off of you.

and you'd gasp in shock as the cool air hits your already wet pussy

tilting his head, a coy smirk graced his lips as his forefinger ever so softly dragged through your folds

"ah, what have i done to already make you this wet. do tell."

your hips would jolt then, desperate for more friction, for him to fill you up

the smirk would drop, tsking at you as one of his large hands would push down on your lower tummy to keep you settled

you'd take a deep inhale of breath, both your eyes following the tail that once again trailed up your leg

this time it'd wrap itself around your breasts, squeezing. it was pure erotic, back arching and everything.

the smoothness and how sleek it was, the way it pressed down on your chest - had your eyes closing in pure utter ecstasy

"that's right, use it like it's my cock. there you go, baby. yes." he'd urge you when you are having sex

he'd be very watchful of your reactions, solely just wanting to please you and make you feel good

like can you imagine at a bonfire one night, tsu'tey had gone off to get your food

you're just happily waiting for him when suddenly another man from the clan approaches, trying to seduce you to follow him to the forest

you'd respectfully declined, knowing that of his true intentions behind his words - but he wasn't seeming to go without staking a claim on you

did he live under a rock? oh no tsu-tey

tsu'teys hands are preoccupied, anger making his posture stiffen ever so more as he quickened his pace over to you

"i am taken, i have a mate. please leave before he-"

he makes himself known from behind you, balacing the food on his hands as he uses his tail to smack the wrist of the mans hand that was trying to make its way to your face

"you heard her, leave. before i take out all your teeth and beat you to-"

"tsu'tey!" you'd hiss, arms wrapping around his waist.

he'd snap out of it, glowering at the pathetic excuse of a man as he scampered off.

your cheeks flush as you realised his tail now seemed to wrap itself right above your loin cloth - an action he'd do unintentionally when feeling possessive

after your meal,, let's just say he was still starving for some more

the way he'd restrict your hand by his tail, or how the swishing motion of it would tenderly linger on your legs when he'd devour your pussy

"shhh, don't want the rest of the hunting party to you hear you. unless you do?" he'd say as he had you against a tree and completely having his way with you

i can see his tail having a mind of its own while he's asleep sometimes,, like he'd be having quite a vivid dream of you

and suddenly his tail would just be pressed against you, in a tired haze you'd try to ignore the pressure

but with tsu'tey spooning you and now unintentionally rutting against you, his tail seems to be growing in sensitivity as it curls against you

the feeling of the fur at the end of it brushing your upper thighs is what would finally jolt you awake

i can just imagine his tail trailing down the dip in your spine as you ride him, or the best part

when you'd surprise him by tugging on it

it'd happen at those times where its your turn to take control during your nighttime charades,, yk y'all like to switch it up

just a lil tug is all it takes sometimes

he'd harshly bite down on his bottom lip, "y'n" he'd let out in a low growl that makes you clench and squeeze down on his cock even more

eyes rolling to the back of his head, jaw and thighs clenching in sheer pleasure as the feeling of it equates to that of him teetering over the age of bustin

he'd definitely use his tail to choke you out when you're about to cum

i just feel like tails can do so much more than depict the emotions he is feeling at that very moment

he'd honestly use it however way you wish for him too as long as you're fine with it and it makes you feel good

like him fucking you from behind as his hands grip at your ass and his tail wraps around your hair and tug on it...??? damnnn

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my nsfw taglist. ♡

also i am sorry if this is bad </3 she was written at like 3am last night!

[heartfullofleeches]

Imma be real honest w you rn, if C.C told me he was a succubus I'd straight up tell him 'smash' w absolutely no same like😭😭😭

Bro that's hot

This is funny when you mention the whole cupid gimmick his dj persona has

C.C: Me? Why, I'm just an innocent cupid here to spread love and good vibes to everyone.

Darling: Succubi are pretty hot ngl.

C.C - chucking his fake angel wings into the trash: And everything I just said was a complete and total lie. So - your place or mine?~

[mcflymemes]

MISCELLANEOUS SENTENCE PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

hey, what was that shot?

do you think i did it?

i was just thinking that i wouldn't be caught dead in those shorts.

please don't take it away from me.

sometimes it feels like having a ghost in the house.

i haven't had sex in six... no, seven months.

i'm wrong all the time. it's how i get to "right."

they said it was right around here somewhere.

i don't think they're going anywhere.

if something doesn't feel right to you, it usually isn't.

we need to get you to a hospital.

you said this was going to end badly.

i want to follow in your footsteps.

hey, look what i found. a dead guy.

i wasn't being rude. i was being curt.

what's up, [name]? did you find something?

people are pigs.

i... am a genius.

i've got something for you to see.

i can't discuss the case.

it's gotta be the murder weapon.

how are you holding up?

i think i'd just feel a lot better if i had a change of clothes.

stay strong.

you rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself.

i just wanted to congratulate you in person.

you never give up.

give me some time. i'm not a miracle worker.

i noticed something strange.

you don't have a personal life?

can't get much deader than this.

i just figured i'd come by.

i hope you're not starting to admire those thugs.

you stay, or i'll smash you to pieces.

this one's actually dead.

i tend not to believe people. they lie.

do you stop when it's finished, or when you've had enough?

stop doing the thing i know you're doing!

i'm not an egg man.

you need to get a girlfriend.

not enough to sting. just enough to make you think.

how much does water weigh?

i can't be fucked to plug it in.

don't insult me.

i'm a sinner. i have sinned.

it's warm! why is it warm?

sometimes i can be a little thoughtless.

it's not supposed to be fun.

your timekeeping is abysmal!

i guess i should stop trying to impress you.

i'm looking for the greater comfort of long-term financial security.

it was a gift from me, so technically i own it.

i've been talking for nine minutes?

you're not a bad guy.

never doubt. never look back. that's how i live my life.

i had an absolutely lovely day.

knowledge demands its payment.

i'm not in the mood.

the clues were there!

[vulpixisananimal]

(You wake up again.)

(Your head was killing you. Stars, what blinding happened near the end there? It was so blurry. Right, right, piece it together. Breathe in, and out. Stars, your head is killing you.)

(Alright. You were talking to Ramos, you ticked them off somehow, Mal Du Pays took over, you fought, where kicked out of front, and. . . When you got back, Ramos was KOed, you looked around, found a few things, jumped out of the window and- ouch.)

(Of course you wouldn't survive that height.)

(Oh great, you finally come back. Stars, what did you DO to Ramos!)

(Me?)

(YES! YOU! YOU KICKED ME OUT!)

(. . .)

(. . . You didn't kick me out?)

(. . . Great. You take another breath, your head was killing you, why? It's not like you did anything different. You look to your side.)

(!!! The quesadillas! Odiles theory worked! That, at least, puts a smile on your face. Well, Loop, it's time to try again.)

(You get out of bed.)

(And you collapse to the floor.)

(You. . . You feel numb. You can't feel your legs, your arms, your head. Your BLINDING head! Stars, what happened! A wave of nausea washed over you, you felt hot, like you were about to pass out.)

(Focus. Breathe in, and out. In, and out. In, and out. . .)

(You- Ack. Don't talk. You mean well but, can't, think, right. You breathe in, and out. Slowly, your chest pressing against the hard wood floors of your room. Your head pounded, like it was about to split in two. Your vision, where you seeing double?)

(It's. . . It was like The End, no, no this is worse.)

(This is. So. Much. Worse.)

(Shouldn't, it shouldn't be THIS bad, right? What, what happened? We looped on instinct once when fighting Ramos-)

(No. It was at least four times.)

(FOUR?!? You only remembered once! How! So, shouldn't that make this Loop. . . 12?)

(. . .)

(. . . Right, Mal?)

(I remember if we loop. Even if I do not remember what happens in those loops. I remember we looped on instinct four times. I remember feeling time pressing against our body. I remember not remembering, too. This is loop number 19.)

(. . .)

(. . . And, and you don't remember anything else?)

(I am just as confused as you.)

(You lie down on the floor, defeated. Right. Alright. You looped on instinct to beat Ramos, and, you looped a lot more than you thought, or, remember.)

(And it wasn't you?)

(It wasn't me, ater the second time we looped on instinct, I was forced out, I remember nothing more.)

(. . . . .)

(. . . Ha. HahahahAHAHAHA)

(Ha. . . . . .)

(You were slowly dying, weren't you. These loops were killing you. You had it easy so far, some time to rest up maybe, eat a snack, take a nap, whatever. But now, but now because of whatever just happened, you could barely move.)

(You stay like this for what feels like an eternity.)

(Could you get your friends? Or, call for them? Doubtful, the window is right over there, if you could open it? No, not possible. Smash it? Maybe. You try and pull yourself up off the floor, and nearly black out.)

(Why is it so much worse. It's so much worse than anything you've ever felt. You want to cry. You can't even cry, are you dehydrated?)

(You can't move, so, you just, wait. . .)

(. . .)

(Is this purgatory? Or perhaps something worse.)

(We're cursed, aren't we.)

(This craft was always a curse, tee hee~)

(Play with a curse, play with a wish. See what good comes from such a painful twist.)

(The Universe guides, we follow.)

(If the Universe guides, then I'd happily stay lost.)

(You keep breathing, you close your eyes-)

(No, keep them open. Don't pass out.)

(Right, fine. Fine. You hold your eyes open, stuck in your own head. Eventually, after what feels like days, you hear someone come up the stairs, you hear them get closer, and, please, please, please. . .)

(They knock on your door.) "Loop? Siffrin?" (It's Mirabelle.) "Are you awake?"

(You try and respond, you try and say something, but your throat, you can't, you can't speak!)

"W-well, I'm going to come in, a-alright?"

(Yes yes yes YES YES YES!)

(Mirabelle opens the door, the light from the hallway blinding you. She sees you, and gasps, running over.)

"S- L-loop!!! A-are, are you alright?!? What happened!!"

(You try and say something, no sound comes out.)

(Now you see what I must live with, Loop.)

"H-here, let me see." (She starts her healing crafts, it wont be anything like that, probably. She calls downstairs.) "C-could I get Some help!!"

(Ha, those footsteps sounds like thunder. That must be Isabeau, leaping up the stairs three at a time probably, and on cue here he is, practically skidding to a stop at your doorway.)

"L-loop!!!" (He rushes over too.) "What happened?!?!"

"I-I don't know! I-it doesnt look like they can talk, a-and they don't look hurt, I think, b-but. . ."

(You open your mouth again, looking at Isabeau. You try and mouth the word 'exhaustion', or anything like it. Please, please, please. . .)

". . . I-I think, it could be the craft exhaustion?"

"O-oh!! Alright! Go grab those tonics we got together! And some water!" (Isabeau was off like a rocket.)

(Mirabelle is done with her healing craft, and was checking your temeprature, your heartbeat. It was nice.)

"I-I'm sorry if, uhm, y-you're not good with touch. But I have to be sure."

(You very gently nod. Touch was, hard, still. But Mirabelle's was nice. . . You stop yourself from drifting off to sleep.)

(Isabeau came back very quickly, a whole armfull of tonics and a jug of water with a cup.) "I-I grabbed them all, s-sorry!"

"Nono! That's alright! Get them some water."

(Isabeau gently lifts your head off the ground; you nearly faint then and there. He got a cup, filled it, and put it to your lips. Gently, gently. . .)

(You cough and choke on first attempt, but second time you get some water. Stars, it's like liquid life being poured into your veins.)

"A-alright, alright, lets try some ginger first, here, Loop, j-just, try and drink it all." (Mirabelle holds the small bottle of ginger juice to your lips as Isa helps your head. Stars, embaressing. . .)

(. . . Ack-)

(You cough, a lot, a full coughing fit. Your head is pounding still, but, your can at least breathe easier. You flex your fingers, your toes, alright, still there. Good. You open your mouth.)

". . . .T-thank you. . ." (It's all you could get out.)

(You could see the fear fall from their faces. Haha, you weren't going to die again~)

"Don't try to talk, alright? Just, just keep breathing, for me, ok?" (Isabeau said, so softly. . .)

"C-could you try lifting them? Onto the bed?"

"Oh deffinatly! Just, you alright with that Loop?"

(You softly nod. You trusted him.)

(Isabeau picks you up, haha, you must weigh nothing at all. He places you down on the warm, comforting, bed.)

"Better?" (Isa asks, you nod.) "Good, rest up some more and then-"

(You shake your head and try talking again.) "O-odile. . . Thhheory. ."

"Theory- Oh!" (Mira perked up.) "Odiles theory must be right!"

"In that case. . ." (Isa looks between you and Mirabelle, thinking.) "You could, let everyone know? I'll stay here and make sure they're ok."

"R-right!" (Mirabelle nods and gets up, dashing downstairs.)

(Isabeau lets out a sigh of relief, he turned back to you.) "Water?"

(You nod, he helps you take another sip. You try not to choke. Stars, he felt so soft, softer than the bed beneath you. Your throat is sore, but better.)

". . .S-sorry. . ."

"Hey!!" (Isabeau put a hand to your forhead.) "Why are you appoligising? You didn't do anything wrong."

(Mhhgh, he has a point. It just, felt like you had done something wrong. You nod.) ". . . L-looped. . . A-a lot. . . At, once. . ."

"Oh Change. . ." (He was gently stroking your head, oh stars. . . He was, so soft. Your breathing steadied.) "Let's, let's try and avoid that then."

(You nod, taking a moment before your next sentence.) "D-didnt, mean to."

"Hey it's okay, mistakes happen- oh right." (He takes his hand away from your head.) "A-are you-"

"Nnnnooooooo~" (You say, looking all sad.)

"Snrk- A-alright, alright." (He goes back to patting your head.) "You're delirous right now, I think."

"Hehh. . . Llllloopy. . ."

"Haha! Yeah!! Loopy!!" (He smiles at you. Stars. . .)

(You wish you could get out of here. Get out of this damn day. Just, you just wish that Ramos wouldn't bother you. Just leave you alone. You want what you do each day to matter, to mean something. But, but now. . .)

(There's a knock on the door, It was Odile.)

"Oh! Come in M'dame!"

"Thank you- Oh Gems. . ." (Odile walked over and knelt down beside your bed.) ". . . You look terrible."

(You try smiling back.)

"I think it's craft exhaustion, it would make sense, right?" (Isa asks.)

"Right." (Odile looks you over, tapping a finger on your bedside table.) "You said my theory worked?"

(You nod.)

"They aparently looped a lot at once, too." (Isa chimed in.) "So, would it be like straining yourself exercising, but not feeling it untill the adrenaline wears off?"

"That makes sense." (She's tapping her finger faster.) "How many loops was it?"

(Loops loops, you said it was, what 19? and we were, we were on 8, or 9, so-)

(It's 10.)

"T-ten. . ."

"!!!!!"

"Gems alive. . ."

"D-dont, dont remember them. . ."

"You Don't?" (Odile looks surprised. She and Isa look at eachother, worried.) "Did Ramos touch you?"

"Nnoooo. . ." (What happened.) "Looped, every time, they was, about to."

"Interesting." (Odile stands up again.) "Does Ramos show up here, eventually?"

"Ttthree aafter, noon."

(She nods, and turns to Isabeau.) "I'll leave them in your hands, Isabeau, we'll make plans to deal with Ramos-"

"Nnnooooo-" (Your breathing quickens, you try getting up, but collaps almost immedatly.)

"Loop, you can't try fighting Ramos like this, or talking to them, or, well anything." (Isabeau got your bedsheet and covered you with it.) "You need to rest, I'll be here, and. . ."

". . ." (Odile looks between you two, still concerned.) "We'll have it handled, Loop."

(You don't even try to reply, you weren't going to win this argument. You just sigh and lay back.)

(Odile leaves, Isabeau stays. He talks to you, stars, things were getting blurry again. You reply almost on instinct to him, he asks about the loops, what happened, everything. You feel so, floaty. Your body still feels so numb. He helps you eat, drink. Bonnie and Nille visit soon after, Everyone does a few times.)

(You had been doing so well.)

(They made a plan for you. They got ready. They figured out how the loops work. You got plans to figure out what Ramos' deal was. You had so much.)

(But now you could barely move.)

(You don't drift off to sleep, to sleep is to lock yourself into the present. You can't do that, you'd lose, no matter what, you'd lose.)

(It calls to you, it's so hard, to stay, awake. . . Awake. . .)

[wutheringcaterpillar]

You Hate To Want Me.

Summary: Jackson had always been manipulative of you, the girl he claimed to love. Yet you find yourself trapped by his charismatic, convicing voice that things will be different...until you realize it won't.

Warnings: toxic relationship, emotional manipulation, hate sex, p in v, hair pulling, mentions of cheating

The door slammed open abruptly, causing you to hastily stand up from your seat knowing all too well who had entered your one bedroom apartment. Jackson was deceving, manipulative. Always promising you things that he'd never commit to but even after catching him in bed with multiple different women, you still fell under his charming blue eye gaze as if he hypnotized you.

You'd always been his favorite, he'd always claim the other whores meant nothing to him just needed a release when you weren't around. A month in was the first time he hit you, claiming you were delusional and aggravated that you didn't believe he loved you. Now here he was once more standing right before your very own, worried eyes. Were you going to fall for him again? Fall into bed with him again? Even after all fables and tales he's said to you, having an excuse for every time he was caught in a lie.

In his own sick, twisted way he loved you. That was why he always came back.

"Honey I'm home" His voice was subtle yet playful, reminding you of how a predator might attempt to mock his prey.

"Get the fuck out! I told you I was done and I mean it Jackson!" His lips folded like he was going to listen, instead acting hurt and breathing out a suppressed scoff.

"Ouch, harsh sweetheart. We both know you always come back, you're not fooling anyone with that pathetic excuse of a fist." God, did he piss you off! Closing in the distance, his hand caressed your cheek gently, crystal blue yes fixating on you in an interest and lustful gaze. Don't do this Y/N, don't fall for his shit again. Unclenching your first, for a moment of hesitation and desperation you wanted to lean in and smash your lips against his but you thought better, smacking his hand away before rushing to your room and slamming the door, nearly breaking it off the hinge, as if that would stop him.

Seconds later in he comes, pursing his plump, enticing lips and raising his eyebrows. "That wasn't very nice baby. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Those other girls mean nothing, and I did come back to you didn't I? I said I'd never leave." He was mind fucking you with every stare, every little persuasive word, every lie. He could be cold and heartless one minute then loving the next but these were the games he'd love to play. He knew you'd never leave.

"When you look into the mirror do you even recognize the face staring back at you Jackson? I want the guy who promised me the world, who promised to never leave and-"

"And I haven't left have I sweetheart? Maybe for a few nights but you still haven't answer the question. I always come back to you don't I?" You shook your head, wanting to block out the sound of his condescending, obnoxious voice. Heart thumping with a rapid burst of emotions, you had to stop this vicious cycle to remind yourself of all the bills he claimed he was going to pay then dropping it on you. All the times he hadn't come home and he was wrapped up with another whore in satin sheets, even in your own bed.

He began to inch closer, closing in the distance until you were falling back on the bed and he was towering over you with an intentful, lustful gaze. Your eyes unable to look anywhere but him.

"I fucking hate you, I really do." You released a choked sob, a singular He simply smirked, having you just where he wanted you.

"No you don't, you love. You like to argue, and you love the things I do to you..." His fingers dipped beneath your shorts, fingers twisting and gripping the lace panties to the side harshly, rubbing at your clit. Your eyes fluttered close at his touch, listening to the rasp of his voice with the conniving sliver of egoism.

"You hate the heartache but the things I do to you outweighs all that. No matter how many times you've told me you wanted to leave, you end up with my cock stuffed in you. Look at you right now..." His fingers dipped inside your heated cunt, filling the void of your soul. You couldn't stop yourself from the involuntary moaning of his name releasing from your parted lips.

"Jackson...." His digits pumped in and out of your slippery canal, he could feel your walls squeeze around his fingers, the sheer pleasure more than visible to him, you were falling for it. Such an easy fuck for him always. You loved to hate him and that was the problem.

The pad of his thumb massaged your throbbing clit as he bit down on the plump of his bottom lip, watching you with intentful, lustful eyes.

Involuntarily, your hips rolled down against his touch craving more, craving to be fucked right. When you attempted to push him off of you, he responded quickly, pulling out and aiming with a fierceful back handed slap to your face that echoed through the dark room. Just as he assumed, that only ignited the flame in you, the twisted, dark desire to be abused.

Hands instantly latching around the warmth of his neck, his lips crashing down against yours in a passionate yet angered kiss. Tongues exploring one another while he ripped your shorts and panties off harshly before shedding his own shirt and tossing it carelessly to the side.

"That's my girl..." He murmured inbetween kisses, the seductive sound of his voice moistening your fold right then and there. Your mind knew this was wrong but what was a girl to do.

Without any prepping, his cock sprang out free and eagerly skapping against his abdomen, pre cum bouncing off the tip of his cock. Effortlessly, he yanked you off the bed, hands wrapping beneath your ass and slamming your almost reluctant body against the wall.

"Fuck I shouldn't be-"

"But you are, now shut your mouth and taking my fucking cock like the little whore you are." Before you even had time to think, his length penetrating into your tight pussy roughly. The sudden feeling of being so full causing you to mewl out in desperation and satisfaction. He always felt so fulfilling, you couldn't stop the smile curling at the corner of your lips, giving into him once more as he penetrated your aching pussy roughly.

His slippery, warm tongue slid down the warmth of your neck, biting down roughly on the fleshy, sensitive skin, hard enough to draw a trickle of blood. You screeched slightly, adrenaline and excitement coursing through your veins like a melody as he gripped your ass cheek, flexing his shaft inside of your tight budding rose that needed to be pollened.

"Look at you, willing to open your legs even when I treat you like shit. My dumb little girl.." He cooed breathlessly in your ear, the sound of his voice sending shivers down your spine as it reminded you of the times he'd whisper in your ear what he was going to do with you, how you would listen to him with the snap of his fingers if you didn't want to. Jackson was just that good.

"Mmm, please daddy...more." He chuckled lowly, amused by your desperation.

"I'm sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you..." Before thinking, you spat in his face, recalling how some other girl blew up his phone calling him daddy. He grunted, smiling darkly before pulling you up by your neck, hands wrapped around your throat harshly, surely to leave marks that you'd have to cover up for people not to think you were an abuse victim.

"You wanna act all tough then go on. Ride me..." Jackson's blue eyes pierced into your soul, never leaving your face. Furrowing his eyebrows together and tilting his head in sudden interest with your attitude, when you hadn't moved he took matter into his own hands.

You tried to gasp, to scream but the circulation of air was nearly non existent when he pounded up into your cunt, the head of his cock hitting your cervix as he watched your boobs bounce up. He striked deep into the sweet spot relentlessly. Loving the feeling of your drenched walls, enclosing on hi length, feeling you clench onto him for dear life.

Releasing one hand, he twisted at the harden state of your nipple, gaining arousal from the discomfort the motion caused you.

"This would be so much easier if you just obeyed sweetheart." The thought of listening to him, doing as he said made you irritated but at the same time caused the heat to rise and increase in your pussy, walls soaking, nectar dripping out of your cunt, fuck you were going to cum soon, too soon.

Not being able to resist, your hands combed over his shoulders to hold yourself in place as you began to bounce on his lengthy member, his balls cushioning each descent down onto his heavenly cock. He stuffed you full, rutting into your overstimulated pussy wanting to milk you for all you got, force you to cum, to lose your sanity all because of him and he wasn't wrong.

One tug at your hair, and your moves sped up in unison.

"Gonna cum on daddy's cock, hm? Or do you want daddy to fill you first? My little cum slut, hm is that it?" You nodded painfully, biting down on your lip and batting your sweet, playful eyelashes at him. He sent a harsh back handed slap to your cheek, the burn of the assault causing your cheek to redden in the heat of the moment.

"Use your words sweetheart." Your hands gripped his shoulders, continuing the quick pace of up and down on him, so close to the edge of tumbling over.

"Yes! Yes daddy!" Before you knew it the palpable, desirable feeling rushed through your pusy, numbing your body in a convulsing, sensational wave of pleasure. Jackson followed, painting your insides white with his seed, claiming the woman he "loved", while moaning your name in a tone that was just barely whisper.

He layed next to you for a moment, holding you in his arms while he stroked the side of you arm lovingly, as if a fight didn't just happen and everything was just peachy.

Minutes later he rolled off of you when his phone vibrated, a girl named Stephanie notifying him with a picture attachment, a text following saying. "My pussy's aching, how much longer will you be?" Disgusted and in disbelief just how quickly you were replacable to him, you shoved him off the bed before hurriedly grabbing your robe covering your body. He was never going to change.

"I fucking hate you! How stupid can I be to fall for your shit repeatedly!" You screamed and spat at him before turning around in a heated frenzy of anger.

He motioned toward his heart, acting like the words you shouted hurt his narcissistic tendencies, instead fueling the fire that pumped through his veins. This was a vicious, persistent cycle of a game he was never going to stop playing.

"Ouch, words hurt Y/N, maybe I'd take them seriously if my cum wasn't falling out of you at this very moment. See you in a few days." He winked before leaving. The feeling of worry about who he might be seeing or where he was going consuming your heart. God why did you allow him to do this to you over and over again! Were you that desperate?!

In the midst of him leaving, you rushed toward the door, feet nearly tripping over another but he was quicker, slamming the wooden object shut, the edges shaking profusely, allowing your fist to connect with the door, hitting the surface repeatedly in frustration. You pulled with all your might, hands fumbling with all their might to pull the door open but he held it closed, smirking at the other side.

"Don't do this to me again! Jackson!" A part of him felt apologetic, hearing your desperate voice crack with each thunderous word. Your aching body slumped down to the floor before the tears were falling, Jackson leaving you completely broken and alone once again as you heard the engine of his car rev up, zooming down into the dark abyss of the night.

[memeapple2]

Metalocalypse starters

"They're trying to tell you that the guy got his face smashed into the hovercraft, that's what they're trying to tell you."

"I would rather have my brain scooped out with a melon-baller than to miss the opportunity to deliver the various cheese snacks to my beloved _____."

"We are here to make coffee metal. We will make everything metal. Blacker than the blackest black times infinity."

"This is, I believes, called food libraries."

"It's called a grocery store, ya douchebags! I'm sorry about douchebags. I got... got low blood sugar."

"Alright, here's the deal: we have to do our own shopping so we can make our own dinner like regular jack-offs do. Now you're all in charge of putting together one dish. AND DON'T JUST BUY BOOZE! That ain't food!"

"What do you mean, "booze ain't food?" I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that!"

"You'd rather chop off your ding-dong than not drink?"

"2 cups of rice." [pours rice into measuring cup, then through the shopping cart] "Brutal."

"Okay hold on now, so you're telling me that you put these little guys in boiling water and they shrink, and they turn red, and they die? That is the most metal thing I ever heard in my whole life. High five!"

"Guess what, you are a GMILF. That is a grandmother that I would like to -"

"Lemme guess - not "heavy" enough, not "tuned low" enough, not "brutal" enough?"

"Oh, right. That dude that you headbutted? The guy was a Danish Prince. Can you believe that?"

"Friends, we're... we're not used to the whole apologizing thing. We're not professional apologizers. We're... musicians. So, we wrote a song for you, a new national anthem. We took the lyrics straight from your Finnish folklore book of necronomic spells."

"Oh, I hate Finland. I need a hundred beers. I need a hundred beers. Exactly... exactly one hundred. Thank you."

"Hey I ain't no therapist, but I hate your mustache."

"I realize I don't even know the name of my father. I'm proud. I proud to know that I don't know that."

"It's a nice night for riding around in a cube!"

"Black out more. So you don't have to remember. The life. That you haaave... There."

"BACK OFF JACK OFF!!"

"All right, all right, popscockles we cans haves."

I have a dad! I fucking love my dad!"

"There isn't anything I wouldn't do to hang with Mickey Mouse!"

"We got you your favorite thing! Disappointment!"

"Yeah, but we such screw-ups that he would be sewn back together wrong."

"Can you please give me the laser pointer? It does not belong to you."

"My video was banned from music television, cause you could see my junk... through my jumpsuit."

"Hey Dogface, why don't you go and... eat some dog food, and eat your own throw-up, 'cause you're a dog... face."

"That's what families is, peoples you hates."

Hey, did you know that Norway has the lowest murder rate in the whole world? The lowest in the world?

Wait a minute, you mean that the murder rate in Canada is higher than Norway? Oh my god this place is lame! Lame place!

The fact that my parents had sex in order to create me makes me want to be buried alive.

"I'd rather die than go to heaven."

"Well, uh, I will tell you this, that's a good problem to have. That's a problem you want to have. It's a good one."

“How do you value your what you contribute of to at the workforce and second part, at which can you most can’t the least?"

“Bleach is mostly water, and we’re mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach.”

"Candy, tastes like chicken if chicken was a candy."

"I smell burning plastic. You do know.. that burning plastic isn't a snack right? You do know?"

"Yeah it's scream activated lighting. You walk into a room 'wheres my keys?' AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! There they are!"

“Use your fancy degrees assholes!”

"You mean astronaut camp is a lie? I’ve been telling everyone you’re going to be an astronaut! Now you’re making me look like an asshole!"

"What're those wooden things... chairs?"

“We’ll give you half……OF NOTHING!"

“Hey! Who peed my pants!” “I think you might be the culprit in this particular… mystery” “How the hell could I pee my pants when I’m standing right here!?”

"What's that burning smell? Did I leaves the lunchables in the microwaves again?"

"No, we're not-that's not even a repsonse to what I was saying. We're arguing two different things here."

"Don't say die SAY HAMBURGER TIME! Please say hamburger time when speaking to us."

[maristelina]

Mikoto T2 Neoplasm Voice Drama Translation

Take my translation with a grain of salt. I did try my best.

Es: Mikoto Mikoto: Oh…Hey Warden, Es: You… are Mikoto right? Mikoto: Eh? What are you talking about? It feels like it's been a while, doesn't it? Have you been well? Huh? What is this? Chains? I hate these, Take them off Es: Request denied. You are too dangerous. Physical restraint is essential. Mikoto: Uh.. Um… What are you saying, capturing such a harmless person like me? Es: As I thought, you have no self-awareness. Mikoto: Well, I get it. I must have caused a ruckus while I was asleep, right? Everyone told me that I really went all out with the chaos. Es: It seems so. Mikoto: I guess it's something like sleepwalking disorder. Lately I've been feeling drowsy more frequently too. Oh man, that's troublesome, isn't it? Es: Mikoto… Mikoto: I can tell from everyone's attitude that they're scared of me. I can read the room/atmosphere… I… Es: Hmm… Mikoto: It's frustrating, isn't it? I've been confused ever since I got here. Es: You really laugh when you're in pain/troubled, don't you? Mikoto: Eh? Es: You don't get angry or yell. You laugh like you're in a bind/at a loss. Mikoto: That sounds about right. I might have that kind of trait. Usually, if I laugh and gloss it over, things go well. I'm good at that kind of thing, so I manage somehow. But, it doesn't end, does it? My head is filled with things I have no memory of doing. Orekoto: I constantly feel irritated Es: There it is. Orekoto: Seems like you haven't been beaten up enough, huh, you brat of a guard. Es: Ah… Gr….. Orekoto: Hah? Cat got your tongue? Es: Even though you got done in by Kotoko. Orekoto: That was just because I was caught off guard. We fought while you were asleep, it's not like I lost or anything. Es: Multiple personality disorder. Is it correct to understand that you, who are speaking now, are a separate personality from the Mikoto earlier? Mikoto: You're accepting this quite normally, aren't you. Multiple personalities is ridiculous, right? Es: Yes. I didn't think something like that could really exist either. Mikoto: Yeah, exactly. If it wasn't me, I wouldn't believe it either. I'd just think it's a lie to escape the guilt of killing someone. Es: However, Milgram recognizes you as such. I'm just accepting it as fact and moving my thoughts forward. So, what should I call you? Orekoto: I don't know man. Call me whatever you want. Es: For convenience, I will call you John. Orekoto: That's a dog-like name. Es: It's used to refer to a person of unknown identity. It comes from "John Doe". Do you like it? Orekoto: Is it okay to show off knowledge like that? Es: But you seem quite calm today. I thought you were a monster. I didn't expect we could communicate this well. Orekoto/John: Don't get cocky. If it wasn't for these chains your face would be smashed in by now brat. Es: Oh? How scary. I'm scared. /s Mikoto: Hmph. Es: Then you are not Milgram's prisoner. The best proof is that Milgram's restraints are not effective on you. Milgram has judged Mikoto to be the prisoner, while you, a separate personality, are an exception. Orekoto/John: Ah I see. So for you, multiple personalities has been anything but confirmed. Es: That's why today, chair creaks I thought I'd hear you out as an important witness. I'm very glad we are able to have a proper conversation. Orekoto/John: But you know, this isn't a good thing. Probably. Es: What are you trying to say? Orekoto/John: I(Boku) might be disappearing (?!) Es: gasps Orekoto/John: Clearly, the time I'm(ore) out in front is getting longer. Thanks to that, my existence is becoming more stable. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly now? Es: makes a concerned sound Orekoto/John: Maybe it would have been better if I (ore) stayed a monster. … Oh? What's with that look? Es: I'm surprised to hear you speak so rationally, contrary to what I expected. Orekoto: I have a college degree after all. How does one develop Multiple Personality Disorder?

Es: To be precise, it is called Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally, it is thought to occur when another personality is created and separated in order to protect oneself from suffering, stress, trauma, etc. Orekoto/John: Hm. 多分俺は僕の受けたストレスを解消するために出てきてる。俺が長く出てるってことは、それだけ僕が強いストレスを受け続けているわけだ。 I'm (ore) probably emerging to relieve the stress he's (Boku) under. The fact that I'm (ore) out for longer means he's (boku) under more severe constant stress.

Es: Stress huh? It's probably because of Milgram, I see. Orekoto/John: Especially the verdict of "GUILTY/Not Forgiven" He (Boku) feels tremendous stress. So he leaves his heart/mind to me. Es: I see. Orekoto/John: It's no wonder. To him, he's being blamed for a crime he has no memory of. / It's not unreasonable. From his (Boku) point of view, he is being blamed for a crime they have no memory of. Es: "If that's true, are you the one who actually committed the murder?" Orekoto/John: Yes. It was me. (Ore-da)

Orekoto/John: I'm (ore) the one who killed them. Es: ん… Orekoto/John: So, I (Boku) really didn't do it. Es: Why did you kill them? Let's hear your explanation. Orekoto/John: (むしゃくしゃして。) I was frustrated. Es: Who did you kill? Orekoto/John: (そこら辺歩いてた奴。) Some guy who was walking around.

Es: How many did you kill? Orekoto/John: I don't remember. That was the first time I emerged. It's hazy. Es: You have the audacity to say that without any shame. Orekoto/John: Legally speaking, what would happen to me? Es: You might get a reduced sentence based on a psychological evaluation, but depending on the number of people you killed, you might not be able to avoid the death penalty. Orekoto/John: (いや、やったのは俺だ。僕は寝ていただけだ。) No, I (ore) was the one who did it. He (Boku) was just sleeping. Es: As if things could be that convenient.

Orekoto/John (Boku): 僕の身にもなってやれよ。僕はただストレスに耐えていただけなんだぜ。一人でじっと耐えていたんだ。爆発するまで誰かを傷つけようなんて考えてなかったんだよ。 Put yourself in my shoes. I (boku) was just enduring the stress, that's all. I (boku) was enduring it alone. I (boku) never thought about hurting anyone until it reached a breaking point.

そういうことができない奴なんだ。気を使って空気を見て、周りの顔色を窺ってばっかで、そういうことができないから、爆発しそうだったから俺が生まれたんだ。あんまりだろう。何も捨てねえんだぞ。 I'm (boku) not the kind of guy who can do that. I'm (boku) always worried about the atmosphere/the room, watching people's expressions, so I (boku) can't do things like that. That's why I (boku) was about to explode, so I (ore) was born. It's too much. I (boku) haven't done anything wrong!

Es: Even if that's how it was, even if it wasn't Mikoto's intention, human lives have been lost. Orekoto/John: Urgh… Es: Even if the one inside was you, John, there's no way to prove it. At the very least, it won't fully hold up in court. It could even be deemed as a lie.

Orekoto/John: YOU!! Es: ! Orekoto/John: (お前はどう思うんだ？) What do YOU actually think?! Es: Mine? Orekoto/John: I (ore) did it. He (boku) didn't do it. You're just going by what Milgram says. Why the hell does it matter what the justice/criminal system thinks, what about YOUR judgement?! What do you think about me? Es: ... Orekoto/John: Forgive me (Boku) already. I'm (ore) the one who did it...

Es: I can't judge right away. It's not something I can decide to forgive so easily. In fact, Mikoto's mindset/emotional landscape was far too cruel. I judged not to forgive. / I've decided not to forgive. Orekoto/John: (You're saying that because you think) That's probably because multiple personalities could be fake. I (boku) truly did nothing wrong. I (ore) was the one who killed.

Es: …

Orekoto/John: Can you be satisfied with that? Imagine waking up in the morning and finding out you've become a murderer.

Es: The act of creating you could be called a sin. / It might be said that the sin is in having given birth to you.

Orekoto/John: !!!!!!!!!!!! … You are probably right…

Orekoto/John: I (ore) am his (boku) ideal self. I'm (ore) the one who doesn't just lie down and resign ourselves to unfairness and stress. If I (Ore) hadn't been born, he (Boku) would have surely reached his limit and broken down. Es: Then… you… Orekoto/John: It's true that I (boku) wished for an existence that could break everything. Maybe it's because of my (Boku's) weakness that I couldn't face it alone. But that's all. Is that a sin/crime?

Es: That's for us to consider moving forward. Orekoto/John: Talking with you, I (ore) understand that what I (ore) did cannot be forgiven. I (ore) accept that.

Es: Yeah, that's right. Orekoto/John: Milgram's subject of judgment is him (Boku), Mikoto. Not me (ore)… John that is. Es: That is correct. Orekoto/John: Please forgive him (boku). Otherwise he (boku) won't be able to endure anymore. Es: I see, you want me to decide that since it was another other personality that committed the crime, it doesn't count as his (Boku's) sin.

Orekoto/John: Yes. If you forgive him (Boku), then I'll disappear.

Es: !!

Orekoto/John: That's right, in the end I (ore) have to vanish. I'll take on everything and vanish. I will.

…Because I (ore) was born to protect him (boku). Es: For that purpose. You were born. Orekoto/John: If it's to protect him (Boku), then I'll do anything.

Bell Chimes

Es: John… Mikoto: Hm? What is it? A dog's name? Es: Mikoto… Mikoto: Warden, you have a pet dog? What kind of breed is it? Wait, let me think, not a Toy Poodle, but I might surprisingly like the ones that are ugly-cute. Not a French Bulldog or anything like that. Es: That's not it. (irritated) Mikoto: Then a pug? Es: It's not a dog's name! Mikoto: Ehh? Then, what is it? Es: It's the name of your friend. Mikoto: laughs No way! I don't know anyone with that name!

Es: Deep Inhale I suppose so. Mikoto: Huh? Es: Prisoner #9, Mikoto. Sing your sins…

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| Engagement ||

Matt Murdock x gn reader

Tags/warnings: mild angst, mild smut, meta, sorry not sorry I had to!!! 😂

As always, I adore and appreciate any comments, reblogs, etc and I'm extremely thankful to you for reading my fics!

~

Matt's arms tighten around you as you lie snuggled up together in bed. He can pick up on your disconnected mood from your elevated heart rate and the way he hears your breathing change every time you think about saying something and then stop yourself.

"You know you can talk to me, if something's wrong." He says quietly.

You take a deep inhale, sighing it out as you nuzzle into his t-shirt at his shoulder. "I know," you reply, choosing to ignore the invitation to unload.

He pushes a little harder in response. "Sweetie, you've been off for a while now, you think I hadn't noticed?"

"Urgh. It's stupid."

He turns his head to kiss you on the top of your head, giving you another squeeze. "I'm sure it's not, and talking about might help? If you want."

You huff out another sigh. "I dunno, I've kind of talked it over with others but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm not sure it's something I can fix."

Concern washes over Matt's features. "Is– is it something I've done? Or not done?" He gently takes your face in his hands. "Sweetheart, you'd tell me if it was me wouldn't you? I'd want you to."

You smile, bringing your hand up to stroke through his soft, messy hair. "Of course I would, and no it's nothing you've done, so don't fret."

The worry melts from his brow. "Alright, but c'mon, try me. I'm sure we can do something about whatever it is that's got you down."

"Well… it's work related. I'm not getting anywhere near as much feedback on my stuff as I used to. You know how in the creative sector we kinda thrive on others sharing our work to bring it to the attention of others? I've been feeling for a while now that the sense of community that we had has just sort of disappeared. People don't seem to want to interact that much with what we make."

Matt groans. "Baby, is this about the lack of reblogs on Tumblr again? "

You can't help frowning. "It is." You admit.

He smiles and rolls over to cage you underneath him. "I could make you forget about it, for a while at least?"

"Matty!" You push him off with a frustrated sigh. "Are you honestly trying to distract me with sex? You know how important this is to me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to trivialise the issue, I just thought I could take your mind off it, maybe make you feel better."

"So kind and selfless of you…" you smirk as he starts to kiss along the column of your neck.

"I try." He smiles. "Anyway, you were saying? And I'm gonna keep kissing you."

"Fine. Okay, so I know that I should create for myself and not for other people…"

"But it's nice to get some recognition, right?" You nod as Matt holds himself over you again continuing to make his way down your neck towards your collarbones.

"Right. I really do appreciate the likes, but if people are just 'liking' my work without sharing it, that means it just ends up dead in the water. No-one else really gets the chance to enjoy it."

"Any idea why they are not sharing?" Matt asks, lightly stroking your side.

"I dunno, maybe they're not familiar with how the site works, that it doesn't have an algorithm? Maybe they're embarrassed to let other people see what they're looking at? Especially if it's something a bit risqué."

Matt hums. "Yeah but didn't you tell me before that they could just create a sideblog that's not associated with their main account, and reblog things they like using that and no one would be any wiser?'

"Exactly! And anyway, it's not like everyone doesn't enjoy looking at and reading porn…"

Matt lifts his head up, a slight sly smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. "Mm true. So what else are you sad about?"

You sigh again. You can't seem to stop yourself.

"Well, people aren't commenting on works either. There's rarely any discussion, I mean even just a manic keyboard smash would be amazing for an artist to see in their notifications, but there's barely even that anymore. Commenting on a stranger's fan works is so much fun, it can really bring people together!"

"That's how a great community grows isn't it?" Matt asks you.

"Yep, and you end up making so many friends you would never have thought. I miss that aspect of it a lot."

Matt's swiftly moving down to lavish attention over your chest, and you momentarily lose your train of thought as his lips brush over your nipple. "And have you brought people's attention to this problem?"

"Of course! Many other creators have explained why reblogs and sharing are so important in eloquently written PSAs, but I guess that the target audience must not see them because they're perhaps only looking at the stories and fanart from tags and they maybe don't see the other dashboard posts. I dunno."

Matt starts to lick an achingly slow intimate path down your stomach and you feel heat spreading throughout your body, your heart rate now elevated for quite a different reason. Then suddenly, he stops.

"Have you thought about maybe incorporating the message into one of your creations? Maybe that might reach the intended audience better."

You close your eyes as you consider the idea. He shifts further down the bed and you allow him to spread your thighs apart and slot his shoulders inbetween.

"Mm, well… that's- actually that's a good idea. I mean, it can't hurt to try, can it? You're the devil on my shoulder Matty."

"Exactly. But leave it till tomorrow sweetheart. Right now this devil wants to make you feel good."

You bite down on your lip as he flashes you a smoldering look before ducking down to make good on his promise.

[randomnonsensedragonage]

Been meaning to post about this for awhile, but now that DAV is just a week away I figured I'd better get on it

Here's the Solavellan playlist I created after finishing his romance a few weeks ago. It's called...

I finally romanced solas, and I have some feelings about it

Link: here

Tracks:

"ceilings," Lizzy McAlpine

But it's not real / and you don't exist / and I can't recall the last time I was kissed

2. "The Night We Met," Lord Huron

When the night was full of terror / and your eyes were filled with tears / when you had not touched me yet / Take me back to the night we met

3. "Lie to Girls," Sabrina Carpenter

You don't have / to lie to girls / If they like you, they'll just lie to themselves / Like you, they'll just lie to themselves

4. "Any Other World," Mika

'Cause it's all in the hands / of a bitter, bitter man / Say goodbye / to the world you thought you lived in

5. "illicit affairs," Taylor Swift

Don't call me "kid" / Don't call me "baby" / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me / You taught me a secret language / I can't speak with anyone else

6. "Little Lion Man," Mumford & Sons

Tremble for yourself, my man / You know that you have seen this all before / Tremble, little lion man / You'll never settle any of your scores

7. "Cry," Carly Rae Jepsen

I never really know when he'll be leaving / And even with hello, I hear goodbye / He always makes me cry, cry

8. "Save Your Tears," The Weeknd

I don't know why I run away / I make you cry when I run away

9. "Down Bad," Taylor Swift

Did you really beam me up / In a cloud of sparkling dust / Just to do experiments on / Tell me I was the chosen one / Show me that this world is bigger than us / Then sent me back where I came from

10. "Viva La Vida," Coldplay

It was a wicked and wild wind / blew down the doors to let me in / shattered windows and the sound of drums / people couldn't believe what I'd become

11. "What If I Love You," Gatlin

By now I should be OK / That's easy for you to say / What if I loved you? / What if I loved you way too much?

12. "The Scientist," Coldplay

I was just guessing / at numbers and figures / Pulling the puzzles apart / Questions of science, science and progress / Do not speak as loud as my heart

13. "imgonnagetyouback," Taylor Swift

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / gonna smash up your bike / I haven't decided yet / But I'm gonna get you back

It's mostly based around sad/hurt feelings, so it seems best to share before DAV comes out and we find out what happens to them next. Who knows, maybe I'll do a B side depending on how things go lol

[cherrylng]

Summer Sonic interview - Muse [INROCK (October 2000)]

MUSE

SUMMER SONIC "I've never played in such hot weather before!"

INTERVIEW: YUKO KATO

Muse, caught backstage at Summer Sonic Osaka, were still on a high, probably because they had just finished playing on stage. They were laughing a lot, probably because they were satisfied with the reaction of the Japanese audience.

You crashed your guitar today, did you do it yesterday too? Matthew Bellamy (vo., g.): No, I didn't do it yesterday.

I thought maybe you brought a couple of guitars to break. Matthew: That guitar was my favourite. It was vintage, you know. (says ruefully) The one I'd had for five years. Dominic Howard (ds.): Matthew used to smash his guitar when it went wrong during a show. I think it happens about once a month. Maybe, though (laughs).

Do you have a short temper? Matthew: On stage, yeah. Chris Wolstenholme (b.): (grinning) Sometimes you regret it, don't you? I really regretted the guitar I broke at the Belgium show. Matthew: Yeah. Sometimes I regret it a lot. Sometimes I break my favourite guitars, but it's usually because there's always something wrong with them. When I feel like there's something wrong with the guitar, I want to break it, but then I regret it afterwards because I could have fixed it or I shouldn't have broken it.

Yesterday, Green Day smashed a guitar and even set fire to the drums. All: (laughs) Dominic: I read somewhere that Green Day have been setting fire to their drum set recently. Maybe they do it at every gig.

The audience today is a mix of fans from different bands, isn't it? There were a lot of people who came to see famous Japanese bands, and I think there were a lot of people who weren't familiar with British and European rock bands. Did you know that there might have been a lot of people who didn't know your music? Matthew: I didn't know… I mean, I knew they would. I thought most people didn't know Muse.

But you've had a great response from the audience, haven't you? All: Yeah!! Dominic: I was a bit surprised actually. Matthew: I was surprised at how hot it was (laughs). It was so hot I wanted to lie down on the tiles and sleep. I've done a lot of jumping up and down and going crazy at shows before, but I've never done it in this kind of heat. I think the audience must have been even hotter. They're probably soaked in sweat and exhausted. Dominic: It was packed.

Do you have any interesting stories behind any of the festivals you've played so far? Matthew: Just that all the festivals have been great. We've been to some really big festivals in the UK and some really small ones in France, so we've been able to experience a lot of different festivals.

Matthew, you said that you like festivals because you don't have to do a proper soundcheck? Some festivals are great, but some have problems, right? Matthew: There have been a couple of festivals that have been pretty bad, but we've played pretty well. We've had problems with equipment breaking down and stuff like that. Dominic: You never know what's going to happen at festivals and you have to trust the staff. A lot of things happen that you can't control on stage.

Can you rely on your crew? Matthew: Yeah, they're a reliable crew. There are some gigs where everything breaks down. Something breaks on the first song, then something breaks again on the second song, and so on. We had a piano break down once. But it's only been that bad once. Where was that show? Dominic: Switzerland.

I heard you broke something in Munich and you paid about £3,000 (about 500,000 yen) for it? Matthew: (laughs) Yeah, I smashed up my dressing room. I scratched the walls, the fridge, the sofa and the table.

Did you do it on purpose? Matthew: On purpose, it was an accident, an accident. (he laughs brightly. Was he that angry?)

Again? Matthew: I went psycho for about an hour. I went mental, you know. I don't know why… No, I know exactly why (laughs). We've just finished a big US tour. After touring with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, we did another two weeks in the States, and then we flew to Germany to do the show in question. It had been two months since we had done a show in Europe, so we were happy to be back there and we were ready to go. It was an MTV concert and the show started quite late and the audience was quite angry. It was hours late. Dominic: I think it was about 3 hours late. Matthew: Yeah. They let the audience in, but it was so late that they ended up cancelling the show. We came all the way here. We couldn't get the speakers and stuff ready. So we were pretty pissed off and decided to break everything.

You decided to break it (laughs)! You didn't have to make that decision (laughs). Chris: It was a last minute thing. Matthew: Yeah, one minute before we went on stage they suddenly cancelled on us. Dominic: We flew 12 hours to get here.

Your adrenaline levels were pretty high and you couldn't stop the urge. Matthew: That's right.

“It's simple but important to enjoy making good music.”

Right. You mentioned touring in the US, and you said the other day that you saw a darker side of the rock ‘n’ roll business while touring with the big, major American bands. There are a lot of rockers who are used to drugs and girls chasing after them, right? Matthew: (grins)… Dominic: Who said that? Matthew: It's not about the band. I've been to America a few times… What do you think? Dominic: I didn't say anything. Chris: It's like older guys getting on with younger fans, isn't it? Matthew: I can't really say what it's like, but it's a lot different in America than in other countries… I don't know if that's a bad thing, it's just different.

There are a lot of American musicians who go too far. Matthew: I don't think it's any one musician or band, it's the whole thing…

You mean the industry as a whole? Matthew: Yeah, the industry, the industry! The music industry in America is very different from the rest of the world. Everyone is best friends, but they really hate each other.

Did you learn from touring with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and learned what it takes to be a good musician, to be a good band, to be a good songwriter? What did you think? Matthew: The Red Hot Chilli Peppers? What do you think of their musicianship? Dominic: They're really great musicians. They get on stage, they play together, and they put the stage together. Matthew: I learned a lot from watching them. We were talking about the American music industry earlier, but the band itself is so focused on playing music, so energetic, and they don't care about what's going on around them, they just care about playing. They know what's important. Sometimes what's important is actually very simple. It's just about making good music, having fun making it, that's all.

You've been playing new songs today. I know you've been writing a lot of songs in the last couple of months, but are the new songs in the same direction as the first album? It's more energetic, isn't it? Matthew: Some of the songs are energetic. About half the songs are energetic, positive, and fast-paced. But we don't really know what direction it's going to go in until we record it. All I know now is that I'm writing better songs than before.

Recorded on Aug 6th in Osaka

Translator's Note: Some of the anecdotes that described of Muse's antics during music festivals are quite hard to find on Musewiki. This is due to a few reasons: 1) Muse toured and returned to the same countries a couple of times during the year 2000, 2) Musewiki doesn't have much in the way of trivial information that can help differentiate what happened in some of the gigs that would make it stand out, and 3) Not even Matt himself remembered just which of the two Swiss music festivals that they were in that he trashed equipment and stuff that cost a hefty fortune to pay for.

That said, I can confirm for sure just which cancelled show in Munich that the trio were talking about. At least we now know that said cancelled show was an MTV show and what were the circumstances that led to it. There was even an official apology message from the band themselves from an old archived website:

Muse's Apology Message: WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL OUR FANS WHO CAME OUT TO SEE US IN MUNICH ON APRIL 28. THE SHOW HAD TERRIBLE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES FORCING US TO CANCEL OUR PERFORMANCE. SORRY ABOUT THAT - WE'LL BE BACK ON MAY 22 THOUGH AT ELSERHALLE.

Please do support me via my Ko-fi! ☕

[drchenquill]

Foliè - Chapter 15

[it took me a while because I had a mini writers block, whoops]

Confessions

Trigger warning: hinting to suicide and abuse

Our march was silent, both lost in thought. Both silent. Both looking ahead. It felt like we were walking side by side, but not together, and that worried me. Was she really right and the dead man had doubts about me? So what if he was, I was a deity, I couldn't care less about the opinion of a puny human.

“It sounds like a lie to me.”

It wasn't a lie. He was human, I was the personification of madness. He was nothing compared to me. His opinion was nothing, just a piece of scum. I let my eyes wander to him for a moment. His gaze was so distant, as if he too was lost in his thoughts. Why did it bother me?

“Thank you again. Without you, I probably would have been turned into the next dinner.”

He jerked his head toward me as if I'd just pulled him from his thoughts.

“Don't mention it.”

He said half-heartedly. Now it was really bothering me. Something was going on and it bothered me that he didn't want to share it with me. Why didn't he want to share it with me? I grabbed his hand and forced him to stop. “What's wrong?” I asked, ignoring the tingling in my hand as I felt his soft skin. 'I'm a deity, for fuck's sake, get a grip. “Nothing, just… thoughts.” he sounded tired. I looked up at the sky and saw that the sun was setting. He was human, he needed sleep and after what had happened today, he needed it badly.

“We should lie down,” I said. He smiled with relief and nodded. “Yes, we should.” We both looked around. We had barely noticed, but we wandered back into the village in silence. I could recognize Agatha's house. I shuddered, so I turned around. I could still remember when I had given her husband the Madness, back when I was still “The Madness”. I had enjoyed watching people suffer back then, watching them destroy what was most important to them. Back then, that was the only thing I had. The only thing that gave my endless life some light.

“Do you want to spend the night in one of these abandoned houses or would you rather sleep outside?” the dead man asked. I pointed to one of the houses and we entered.

This house, if you could call it that, had no furniture left and the few that were still there were completely destroyed, as if a wild beast had run rampant. Cobwebs decorated the now unusable fireplace that adorned the living room. The large window that let in the reddish light of the setting sun had been smashed, the shards of glass scattered on the wooden floor. The dead man spotted a staircase and pulled me gently behind him as we walked up. I had my eyes fixed on his big back. A back that seemed to carry so much suffering.

We entered the bedroom. The bed had no covers, just a ripped open mattress. The wardrobe was on the floor, tipped over. The bed was lit up, but not by the window, but by the hole in the ceiling. Groaning, he let himself fall onto the mattress, the frame of which squeaked loudly. How long had it been since this mattress had last felt the warmth of a human being? I sat down slowly and stroked the fabric of the bed. “I wonder what happened” I asked quietly to myself. The dead man turned on his back and stared into the now night sky above us. “Madness has taken the inhabitants.” he whispered. “Just like it took Agatha's husband.” "Agatha's husband. One of many of your victims." “But Agatha was still pure when she died,” he explained. I turned my gaze to him, but he was still looking at the ceiling. “Why do you mean that?” I asked and lay down next to him, my eyes fixed on the sky. “She wasn't smiling.” Smiling? I turned my head towards him. “All who are gripped by madness die with a smile on their lips, as if relieved to finally be released.” Why did he know that and why was he so sure about it? I had never cared how the people I poisoned died. I didn't know that. “Did you… did you see it a lot?” I asked quietly. He just nodded. I swallowed hard as I asked the next question uncertainly: “Did… he smile too?” I shyly pointed to his face, the face of his victim. “Like a child…” he whispered. My heart collapsed. I felt guilty. I hated it. “I think she's out to take everything from us, everything we hold dear. She wants to see us suffer… She wants us to stay lonely and abandoned.” That hurt. It hurt to hear the hatred in his voice. It hurt to know that he didn't even know that I was the one who had destroyed his life.

“He was…” he began. I saw him swallow hard before he continued in a shaky voice. “We grew up together, in an orphanage. We were like brothers, inseparable. The orphanage was no paradise, we often suffered at the hands of the older boys and the adults didn't have time to take care of that too. The director of the orphanage had been taken by madness, so everything went down the drain. We didn't get a new director because everyone was afraid that they would also be taken by madness.” The room was filled with silence as he had to collect himself. “It wasn't a nice time. We often had to suffer from the adults' outbursts of anger. And when they were calm, the older children were violent. It was hell, but we had each other. As soon as we were old enough, we left. We did little jobs here and there and earned enough to rent a small apartment together.” I saw his dark eyes slowly fill with tears and he chewed on his bottom lip. “Everything seemed to be going uphill. We carried wounds with us, but we could help each other heal, at least I thought we could. I didn't know how much anger he carried, how much hatred tainted his heart.” Hesitantly, I took his shaky hand in mine. He reached for it without thinking. “You know, he was one of the skeptics. He didn't believe in the madness, he thought it was scaremongering and nothing more. He didn't care… or maybe he wanted it to happen, I don't know. I never said anything when he left the house without a mask until…”

“Until?”

“Until he started being weird. He babbled uncomprehending things, he did things he never did and he talked about the orphanage. He hated the orphanage, he would never talk about it. Then one day he didn't come home. I looked everywhere for him.” I held my breath, because I could only guess what happened next.

“He had returned to the orphanage and… got his revenge. I was too late. He had killed the workers, no, slaughtered them. The children, oh God, the children. He wanted to play with the children. He wanted to make up for the childhood he'd missed out on because of abuse. He had brought out the toys and asked the crying children to play with him. It was horrible to watch.”

I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb, hoping to calm him down after seeing the tears slowly streaming down his face.

“I killed him… saved him. I don't regret it. I only regret that I didn't stop it.”

“There was nothing you could have done.” I whispered to him. You couldn't get rid of madness. Once you had it, it would follow you to your death. He laughed bitterly, as if my words had just been a bad joke. “I should have forced him to wear a mask. I shouldn't have let him out of the house once I realized he was acting differently and now I've lost him. Because of her. All because of her. She ruined my life, she took everything from me, so I want to take everything from her.”

I felt sick. I knew people hated me, I knew I was the devil in many eyes, but this was different. I felt the anger, the sadness, the helplessness. And I was to blame for it, only me.

“And then, once I've gotten my revenge on her, I'll follow him.” My heart stopped as I stood up abruptly. I felt myself break out in a cold sweat. He was going to him? He was going to leave me? “But…” He shook his head, not giving me a chance to speak further. “The only thing that keeps me going is my desire to kill her. I have nothing to look forward to. This world has no place for me anymore.” Now I felt the sting of tears threatening to roll from my dark eyes.

“But it does.” I whispered to him. He looked at me in surprise. He had already planned everything, from murder to his own redemption, but he hadn't counted on a deity whose heart he had made beat again. “What do you mean?” he asked uncertainly. “I'm alone, I have no family, nothing.” he added. This time I shook my head. “That's where you're wrong.” I leaned down to him, his face so close that our breath mingled. “You've got me.”

Then I kissed him.

~~~

chapter 14/chapter 16

Foliè tag list: @theink-stainedfolk , @frostedlemonwriter , @leahnardo-da-veggie , @rivenantiqnerd

(if someone wants to get added or taken off, just tell me~)

[littleeyesofpallas]

Been meaning to go back and take stock of my "score" on the ongoing @bleach-smashorpass, I've grayed out anything where my personal pick didn't match the popular outcome, and left the ones where I fall into the majority vote in color.

Look, I'll be real, I'm not above monsterfuckery, even if I don't consider it ""my thing"" but I'd have voted smash on Ayon if he didn't have his weird secret muppet face. Also Aaroniero was an extremely light smash, i really had to flip flop on that one a few times before making a choice. I'll be honest, I liked original Chapter25 epilogue Aisslinger way more than what we got in the Arrancar Arc, and if I could split the vote I'd smash original and pass on final design for him.

Bambi is just such a boring design, and honestly Batsuunsai isn't much better, but the glasses are cute. She was really close to being a pass.

I was actually surprised that I had to stop and think about Choe but his giant chin and tiny bowl cut were not doing him any favors. Also as much as I like Cyan as a character, there is just something about hime cuts that are an automatic off switch for me. the rest of these felt fairly obvious.

not gonna lie, little hurt by the lack of D-Roy and Dordonii love

Confused that people were so lukewarm on Findor, although it was a close split. Also oddly I could have sworn I passed on Furofushi... I'm not really a fan of pigtails, with very few exceptions, but when I went to check the poll results it said I voted smash. Maybe I was thinking she was feeling Hiyori adjacent enough to count it at the time? I.... I don't remember voting smash on Entetsu...

i feel very scandalized by having voted unpopularly on all these old men... I'll be honest, Gremmy is a very lukewarm smash, and the potential of the Visionary power as a sex thing was very much the deciding factor.

boy bleach fans really don't like moustaches, huh? So funny enough it wasn't until the anime that I realized Hidetomo has his multiple earrings and somehow that changed his whole vibe for me, but prior to that it would have been an easy pass. I absolutely cannot abide characters whose whole thing is being someones dead wife/girlfriend, even if she otherwise looks exactly like Rukia, who'll be a smash for sure once we get to the Rs.

i figured i'd be on the wrong side of the fence with the kurosaki men but it's a real hard no on all the above. I'll be real, I'm kinda surprised Ikkaku was so popular. The rest of these felt obvious. Oh wait no there was like no love for Izumi Ishida. Boo to that.

okay so hear me out... Jugram is too blond. I know that sounds like nonsense, but like, he's too fundementally blond. Like most of Bleach's blond characters could have other generally light hair colors, and it wouldn't super change their image or aesthetic, but Jugram has to be blonde because the alternatives don'teel the same, and that's too much blond for me.

i know i voted pass on ichigo, which might make smash on kaien seem weird, but it's between the personality difference and the eyelashes. People not smashing on Kiyone is a catastrophe

and with that i'm all caught up with the letters where all the polls that have already closed. i'll be back to update these as the rest keep rolling along. I dunno why I really did this apart from the compulsion

[ikamigami]

Was not expecting Moon and Monty to immediately get smashed-off-their-ass drunk together and Puppet is the sober one but oh well, Moon's gonna have a fun time with that hangover

Yeah, he'll have a fun time with that.. I hope though that he won't be too angry.. cause idk how Sun will take it :/ (that's why it's important to drink responsibly so you won't make others around you worry too much or be uncomfortable around you)

Though I'm not surprised that Moon got drunk so quickly lol he kinda seems like someone who gets drunk easily

But for Monty.. I didn't expect them to get drunk so quickly.. but I knew that they got drunk sometimes with Foxy..

And I think that it was kind of expected that Puppet wouldn't get drunk lol

Also.. I'd like to address something here if you don't mind it, dear anon..

Cause let me be clear.. this was a funny episode where friends are hanging out together, drinking alcohol and getting drunk.. and it was obviously made to be fun episode..

While on the other hand Sun's drinking was never presented in a funny way.. in most instances when Sun's drinking habits were brought up someone was worried - New Moon, Puppet, Foxy - so it was setting a completely different tone compared to whenever Monty and Foxy or now Monty and Moon got drunk..

And let me tell you something.. people were upset about me saying that Sun might have an alcohol problem.. mostly because of their personal experiences with alcoholism.. and while that's valid.. at the same time people don't have to get drunk - because this was most common argument against Sun having drinking problem because he wasn't drunk - to become addicted to alcohol because that's not how addiction works :)

If you drink daily to relax - ease anxiety or whatever - and you also lie about your drinking habits - how many drinks you have per day etc. - and you act reckless - you're breaking law or you're making bad decisions - it's a huge red flag and it means that even if you're not getting drunk from drinking alcohol, it's still affecting you - your decision making - which is one of the easiest ways to become an alcoholic..

And this is exactly what was with Sun.. and now he stopped drinking - from drinking every single day to not drinking at all - and he's in worse mental state.. like again it's understandable considering what happened with New Moon and that NM tried to kill Earth and Puppet tried to force Sun to agree on killing NM.. but at the same time they brought up a few times already that Sun is thinking about finding himself new drinks - and what's worth noting is that drinking alcohol worsen symptoms of psychotic disorders (and other mental disorders as well) but the same goes for when someone experience withdrawal..

And again we can clearly see that Sun is in worse mental state than he was before - even before his first (major) psychotic episode - he's more depressed, he's paranoid (recent example - his uneasiness around cutouts in Moon's lab and in case you didn't know it is caused by paranoia), he's most probably experiencing hallucinations and he's having suicidal thoughts and most probably he's having delusional thoughts - also Sun's hands are shaking a lot but because he has anxiety it can't be used as hard proof that Sun is experiencing a physical symptoms of withdrawal, same is with him being more tired and him lacking motivation or that he doesn't enjoy doing the usual activity or he's performance is worse than usual cause it's most definitely caused by his depression.. but than again all of these symptoms could get worse because of alcohol withdrawal..

I wouldn't be surprised if Sun started drinking in secret (secret drinking is a thing btw) just to cope with his symptoms but mostly with hallucinations, delusions and suicidal thoughts.. but it may not happen.. but if it did happen it'd make his mental state even worse..

Also I'm treating this very seriously.. just because I'm not including people's experiences regarding this topic it doesn't mean that I'm treating it as a joke.. because I'm not.. I'm talking about Sun and I compare his experiences with experiences of those people who match.. comparing Sun's experiences to everyone else's would be pointless and just straight up stupid..

Sorry if this come across as rude but I was accused of not treating mental disorders seriously and with respect just because people don't like that I relate to Sun - when surprise surprise they do exactly the same thing with their favourites - so you can imagine how much frustrating it is to me (especially if you know about my mental issues and what I went through in this fandom)

But again I'm sorry for ranting under your ask, dear anon cause most definitely it wasn't something you were expecting to see in the answer..