#I'd seen a few posts talking about it but seeing it for real? the tension in this show is masterfully done.

[neverendingford]

y'all the blackface painting scene is Crazy, Natalie's struggle to prevent her smiling facade from cracking is so enthralling.

[olderthannetfic]

TW Suicide. I talk about suicide from a religious perspective, and religion is not kind with suicide.

I might be reaching but I think religious Asian countries might be more proship-friendly than western countries??

Let's see a few cases. Japan. I'm not sure how religious Japan is, but they have very strict values and traditions. There are so many how-tos and even the language has levels that you can only use to certain people, otherwise it's rude. They can't express queerness so freely that yaoi/yuri is the best outlet they have, and they got called rotten for it.

Japan is notorious for being very proship friendly. There was even a huge "what is proship and why should you block those with 'proship DNI' in their bios" thread over on Twitter and it was so widely shared by Japanese users. At that point, even antis took off the "proship DNI" off their bios (such cowards lol).

The people in my religious (Muslim) country and its neighbor, Malaysia and Indonesia, even the minors, are so proship-oriented that I only ever saw exactly one person with "proship DNI" in their bio. And their posts tell me they're the more "liberal" people of the country. You know, the ones that the older people are using as examples of "Look at that girl. She's been poisoned by the western values, she's showing so much skin. Don't be like her". Now I obviously will just laugh at older people who says such things but hear me out.

The people who are actually practicing religion to the point where nothing sexual is allowed, who WILL screech at sex (both vanilla and kinky) in fanworks should they ever join, won't touch fandom with a ten-foot pole. This leaves us with the absolute freaks who thinks "I'm religious, I believe in God that other people call fiction, but I can't have sex until I'm married and masturbation is haram, so smut fic is actually a great way to let off tension! No one real is having sex so it's a green area. I'm not masturbating, I'm just reading. Sometimes they excite me, most of the time not! Halal mode."

Also, murder and suicide is a sin. A huge sin. If you tell someone to kill themselves and they actually did, the religious guilt would be MASSIVE. I can't imagine an actually correctly-practicing religious sending death threats and not be haunted by the promise of a sin. A sin that involves other people is much harder to forgive (it requires forgiveness from the hurt people, and that's impossible with suicide. They can't forgive you if they're dead) than a sin that involves yourself (masturbation. All you have to do is regret and never do it again. Which is why suicide is seen as unforgiveable. You can't undo it).

So, it sometimes makes me wonder that in the west, MAGA catholic conservatives shares a lot of values with fanpols. But in religious countries, the actually rigid religious ones aren't in fandom, so the fandom is filled with people who aren't evangelical purists.

This incoherent yap might be reaching, but hey, a new perspective to US-Europeans or non-religious people. It's just kinda funny to think about. Since you are very well-spoken and critical (I think so from your replies to the asks!), what do you think?

--

Well... I think there are a lot of specifics here that are hilarious in how you've framed them. (The situation with queer people in Japan has evolved a lot over the last couple of decades. That isn't at all how I'd describe politeness levels in language, and I think your assumptions based on how politeness works in Japanese are ludicrous. Catholicism isn't the big, powerful flavor of Christianity in the US, so it's not where the majority of the nutbars ruining politics come from. Etc. Etc.)

But back in the 90s in US fandom in English, slash was the domain of freaks, and the puritywankers were openly homophobic and did not hang out in the same spaces.

Yes, I do think that part of the rise of the current flavor of antis has to do with somewhat wider acceptance of queerness combined with an overall anxiety-inducing and uncertain situation. They're not secure enough to chill the fuck out, but they wrongly believe that our battles for queer rights here are done and/or that they can be won by throwing the freakier members of the community under the bus.

[ep2nd]

@remy-a

Today's topic- the change in animation in LMK

I know like the majority of the Fandom has probably been sent to the ER after season 5 animation (or the emotion couldn't tell) but I think someone said that the animation slightly changed from like the Pilot to s 1-3, somewhere there, so like 3 different animation at this point, maybe??

Alright here's my thoughts

AGGAGAGAGGGGHHHHHHHH

Okay for real this time-

When I first watched LMK, I fell IN LOVE with the fluid motions, the active movement, the anime-style Influence, the exaggeration, the most random fun moments, pop ups, yse of environment, angles, camera movement, facial and body expression and other stuff I don't know the name of

Now as someone who's never watched Anime, please don't kill me, I don't exactly know what that looks like, but try going anywhere on the internet without tripping down the stairs and falling into the basement of ANIME

Also, I'm used to more rigid, beautiful backrounds, great lighting, or basic show animation. Such as Trollhunters, Amphibia, The Owl House, Big City Greens, Ninjago, How to Train your Dragon, Carmen Sandiego and others

So as you can see, this was new to me, and I fricken loved it

Now I can tell there definitely has been change from the Pilot to season 4, more refined, less sloppy

So, when season 5-

Oh dear, I love you Wild Brain, I really do, Ninjago and Carmen Sandiego WERE BEAUTIFUL

BUT AHHHHHH

I will say this, this is a new artstyle, they need practice, and I'm sure it'll improve, but this is not that time it's time to CRITISIZE GET THE RED PEN (maybe I am an English Teacher)

Remember what I said about what I love about LMK animation? Okay now throw it out the window into the Fire of FRICK THIS

Now I will say, they used some angles pretty well, such as using the environment to show emotion/tension, like when it would Pam out and something was blocking the two characters, from Wukong to Macaque to the poll in the Pagado and then a mountain between MK and Wukong near the end- look for its cool- someone pointed it out here on Tumblr can't remember name sorry

2nd, the expressions look really typical, like I miss the shot eyebrow from Wukong, or the the pathetic puppy eyes of MK, or the :3 for Mei, or the furious faces of Pigsy, the sparkly pure joy of Sandy, the chaotic gremlinness of MO, the evil Edit maker smiles of Macaque (I've seen your tiktoks) ALL THE LITTLE EXTRA THAT MADE THE EXPRESSIONS AND HUMOR/TENSION/EMOTION BETTER

3rd, the movements. Seen especially in the second episode when they escape. It's just, so basic running, like compare them running to MK's run in s2 running from the LBD and then when he ran in s4 away from the Ink scroll. Just so much more fear and dread. Also talking bout LBD, her voice actor? Phenomenal as always? Her movements and how they animate her? She seems more like a red headed doll with button eyes than the horror of something like FNAF(haven't played FNAF so can't really compare) what I'm saying is she seemed less huanting, a weary, fear-instilling, and bone-chilling(shut up let me pun) presence this time around, which really makes the scene less dramatic, but the camera angles, voice acting, and some animation still make it somewhat good.

Okay, this post is getting long and I can rant all day, and that's not even with me rewatching the show to pick it apart, someone probably already has good for them I'll look for it👍

In conclusion, comes of more dull, simple, rough, and rushed. S5 story, which has some problems, really hit deep in the last few episodes, mostly MK and Wukong, and if the studio beforehand continued animating, then I think it would have been a masterpiece, really sad to see the wasted potential

I know it's a new studio, but I wish they took more time to practice and learn, and maybe do it on a season that wasn't like the big reveal and end (I'd say a more happy season but let's be honest the Trauma train ain't stopping for a LONG TIME)

so, I guess I'll give it a 4/10, points for using the backround to storytell, still got some great angles, some funny bits here and there (the soldiers where a joy), action scenes were somewhat good, not a lot can't judge more, and pity points because I know they're still learning

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 6 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Language, age gap, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 2,405

A/N: I had to repost this part because my dumb self accidentally copied my rough draft instead of the finished chapter lol. If you guys see anything that doesn’t make sense let me know! I’m still new at writing, but I want to make it as perfect as possible for my readers! This story is cross posted on Wattpad, I made the last minute decision to share it here too. Happy reading! ♥️

Julia stepped into the diner, the faint chime of the doorbell ringing out as she entered. The place was quiet, with only a handful of people scattered around. She scanned the room, trying to push past the frustration building in her chest. Dean's words echoed in her mind���stay out of trouble. He acted like she couldn't handle a real hunt, like she was nothing more than an inconvenience. It wasn't the first time he'd made her feel like that, and she doubted it would be the last.

But she was determined to prove him wrong.

Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the counter where an older woman stood wiping down the surface. The woman looked up, offering a small smile as Julia approached.

"Can I help you, hun?" she asked, her voice warm but tired.

Julia returned the smile, trying to keep her tone casual. "Yeah, I'm new in town and heard there's been some weird stuff going on lately. Thought I'd ask around, see if anyone knows what's up."

The woman raised an eyebrow, glancing around before leaning in slightly. "Weird stuff? You mean the attacks?"

Julia nodded, keeping her expression neutral. "Yeah. People saying it's a wild animal or something?"

The woman sighed, shaking her head. "It's more than just an animal, I'll tell you that. Folks around here are scared. There's been a few people attacked just outside town, and none of them made it. I've heard whispers about some kind of beast, but no one knows for sure."

Julia's heart rate quickened. Definitely sounds like a werewolf. She kept her voice steady. "Anyone get a good look at whatever it is?"

The woman hesitated, glancing over her shoulder like she didn't want anyone to overhear. "There's one guy, a regular, who swears he saw it. Ted, his name is. He's been spooked ever since, though, barely comes in anymore. You might wanna talk to him. Lives in a cabin on the outskirts of town, past the woods."

Julia thanked the woman and ordered a coffee to go before stepping outside. The sun had dipped lower, casting the small town in a soft, orange glow. She spotted Dean and Sam across the street, walking out of the sheriff's office.

Dean's gaze locked onto her as she crossed the road to meet them. His expression was the same as always—guarded, skeptical, like he was waiting for her to mess up.

"Well?" Dean asked, his voice impatient. "You find anything, or were you too busy chatting up the locals?"

Julia ignored the sting in his tone, keeping her voice steady. "One of the waitresses mentioned a guy named Ted. He says he saw whatever attacked the victims. He lives just past the woods in a cabin. Could be worth checking out."

Dean's eyebrows lifted slightly, like he hadn't expected her to come back with anything useful. He gave a slow nod, glancing at Sam before looking back at her. "Alright. We'll check it out."

For a brief moment, Julia felt a flicker of satisfaction. Maybe this'll prove I'm not just in the way.

The three of them piled back into the Impala, the familiar hum of the engine filling the silence once again as they headed toward Ted's cabin. The tension from before still lingered, but there was something new in the air now—anticipation. Julia knew this was her chance to show Dean she could pull her weight.

As they neared the outskirts of town, the road grew rougher, surrounded by thick woods on either side. Dean parked the Impala at the edge of a long narrow dirt path leading to the cabin. The sun was almost completely gone now, the last traces of daylight fading fast.

Dean stopped the car in the middle of the path as it looked too rough to drive the rest of the way. They got out of the car, and Dean grabbed his sawed-off shotgun from the trunk, tossing Sam and Julia their weapons. He eyed Julia for a second longer than necessary before turning toward the path. "Let's go."

The air was cool, a sharp contrast to the warmth of the day, and Julia found herself gripping her knife a little tighter as they walked.

After a little bit of walking , the outline of a small cabin came into view. Dean motioned for them to stop, holding up his hand as he scanned the area.

They walked up to the cabin and knocked and a man opened the door. He was a middle-aged man, his clothes slightly disheveled, eyes darting around like he expected trouble at any moment

"Hey, Ted right? We spoke on the phone earlier." Dean said. "Mind if we come in to talk?”

Ted nodded, his gaze flicking nervously between them. "Sure. I'm not much for company, but I suppose it's better than being alone."

They all  came in the quaint looking cabin, and Dean wasted no time getting to the point. "We heard you saw something the other night. Can you tell us what you saw?"

Ted took a shaky sip of his coffee before beginning. "It was dark, and I was just heading home. Then I heard this growl, like nothing I've ever heard before. I thought it was a bear or something at first. But when I saw it... it wasn't any kind of animal I've seen. It was huge, with glowing eyes. It came at me, but I managed to get away. I've been too scared to go back out there since."

Julia listened intently, her mind racing. A growl, glowing eyes—it fit the description of a werewolf alright.

Dean glanced at Julia, then back at Ted. "Anything else you remember? Any specific features or behaviors?"

Ted shook his head. "Just the eyes and the growl. It was like it was hunting me."

Sam leaned in, his expression thoughtful. "Have you seen anything else strange around here? Any other incidents?"

Ted hesitated before speaking. "There've been some odd occurrences—people seeing strange things in the woods, noises at night. I thought it was just my imagination or the stress from what happened to me."

Dean glanced at Julia again, a silent question in his eyes. Julia nodded slightly, indicating that Ted's account was useful.

"Alright," Dean said, standing up. "Thanks for your time, Ted. We'll look into it."

Ted nodded, still looking uneasy. "Be careful. Whatever that thing is, it's dangerous."

They left Ted's residence , heading back to the Impala. Julia felt a renewed sense of purpose. With the new information, they had more to go on. They could focus on the details Ted had provided, potentially narrowing down their search.

As they settled into the car, Dean started the engine. "So, what's next? We going back to check the woods or...?"

Dean nodded, pulling out of the dirt path. The drive to the woods was filled with the low hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of conversation between Sam and Dean. Julia stayed mostly silent, her mind still processing everything from the morning.

When they reached the edge of the woods, the sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows through the trees. They parked the car and grabbed their gear, ready to investigate.

Dean led the way into the forest, the terrain becoming increasingly rugged as they moved deeper. Julia stayed close behind, her senses on high alert. The forest was eerily quiet, the kind of silence that seemed to press in from all sides.

After a few minutes of hiking, they came across a small clearing with signs of a struggle—broken branches, disturbed ground. Julia's heart raced. This was the kind of evidence they needed.

"Looks like this is where it happened," Dean said, examining the area. "We should spread out and see if we can find any more clues."

Julia nodded, taking a deep breath as she walked beside

"Stay back," he muttered to Julia, his voice low.

Julia bit back her frustration, knowing now wasn't the time to argue. She hung back as Dean and Sam moved toward the cabin, their weapons raised, their steps silent.

Suddenly, a rustling sound echoed from the trees behind them. Julia's heart raced as she turned, her grip tightening on her knife. The sound grew louder, closer, until a large shadow darted through the trees.

She raised her weapon, trying to get a clear shot, but the creature was fast, darting in and out of the shadows. Before she could react, it lunged at her with terrifying speed.

"Julia, watch out!" Dean's voice shouted from somewhere behind her.

The werewolf's claws slashed through the air, catching Julia off guard. She tried to dodge, but its claws raked across her shoulder, tearing through her jacket and into her flesh. A cry of pain escaped her as she staggered back, her weapon slipping from her hand.

Dean and Sam charged in, guns blazing. The werewolf howled in pain and rage, momentarily distracted by the sudden attack. Dean's shots found their mark, and the creature staggered before retreating into the darkness.

Sam hurried over to Julia, his face etched with concern. "Julia, are you okay?"

Julia winced as she touched her shoulder, feeling the warm trickle of blood. "I... I'm okay. Just a scratch. We need to finish it."

Dean, his face a mix of anger and worry, approached quickly. "You're not okay. You're hurt. We need to get you patched up."

He grabbed her arm, guiding her back to the Impala with Sam following closely. Julia's shoulder burned with every step, but she tried to stay steady. The werewolf might still be out there, and they couldn't afford to waste time.

Once they reached the car, Dean quickly pulled out a first aid kit from the trunk. His hands moved with practiced efficiency, but his expression was tense.

"Sit down," Dean ordered, gesturing to the backseat. "We need to clean this up before it gets worse."

Julia obeyed, gritting her teeth against the pain as she settled into the backseat. Dean pulled out the antiseptic, a pair of scissors, and a needle and thread. He glanced at her shoulder, his jaw tightening.

"You should have been more careful," Dean said gruffly, his voice tinged with frustration. "I told you to stay back and let us handle it. Now look what happened."

Julia bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears. "It's not that bad. I just got a scratch."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "A scratch that needs stitches this time. What happens if next time you get bit? You could've turned. You always rush in without thinking." Dean seethed.

Sam stepped in, trying to defuse the tension. "Dean, she was trying to help. It's not entirely her fault. The werewolf was fast."

Dean huffed but didn't respond, focusing instead on cleaning the wound. Julia watched as he worked, his hands steady but his expression betraying his frustration. He cleaned the wound thoroughly, applying antiseptic before starting the stitches.

The pain was sharp and intense, but Julia bit her lip and stayed still, refusing to let out more than a few gasps. Dean worked in silence, his anger morphing into a grim determination to get the job done right. He finished the stitches quickly, his movements efficient but rough

"There," Dean said finally, tying off the thread and cutting it. "All done. Try not to move your shoulder too much."

Julia nodded, wincing as she adjusted her position. "Thanks, Dean. I appreciate it."

Dean's face softened slightly, though he still looked frustrated. "Just... be more careful next time. We can't afford to have you getting hurt. Not like this."

Julia nodded again, feeling a mix of relief and frustration. "I will. I promise."

Sam patted her shoulder gently, offering a supportive smile. "We need to get back out there and find that werewolf. It's still a threat."

Julia agreed, though she was keenly aware of the ache in her shoulder. "Yeah, let's finish this."

They packed up their gear and returned to the woods, the fading light casting long shadows around them. Dean stayed close to Julia, his attention divided between the hunt and keeping an eye on her.

As they continued their search, Julia tried to stay focused, despite the pain and the sting of Dean's anger. She knew he cared, even if his methods were rough around the edges. And right now, she needed to prove that she could handle herself—no matter how tough things got.

Suddenly, a rustling sound echoed from the trees behind them. Julia's heart raced as she turned, her grip tightening on her knife. The sound grew louder, closer, until a large shadow darted through the trees.

"Dean!" Julia called out, stepping forward instinctively.

Dean whipped around, his shotgun raised, just as the werewolf lunged from the darkness. It was massive, its eyes glowing in the dim light, teeth bared in a snarl. Without hesitation, Dean fired a shot, but the creature barely flinched, charging at him with terrifying speed.

Sam moved to fire his gun, but Julia acted faster. She hurled her knife with precision, the silver blade embedding itself in the werewolf's side. The creature let out a howl of pain, staggering back as the knife sizzled against its flesh.

Dean didn't hesitate. He fired another shot, this time hitting the werewolf square in the chest. The creature collapsed to the ground, dead before it hit the dirt.

There was a moment of stunned silence, the only sound the heavy breathing of all three hunters. Dean stared down at the body of the werewolf, then slowly turned toward Julia, his expression unreadable.

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she didn't back down. "That was close," she said, her voice steady despite the adrenaline still coursing through her veins.

Dean's gaze flicked to the knife still lodged in the werewolf's side, then back to her. For a moment, she thought he might say something—maybe even give her some credit—but all he did was grunt and turn away.

"Let's get the body burned before someone stumbles on it," he muttered, walking back toward the cabin.

Julia watched him go, her chest tightening with a mix of frustration and disappointment. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she proved herself, it didn't matter.

[alligaytorswamp]

i've seen few posts of kaeya and childe together on ur blog. And i'm kinda curious on why ur fascinated by this ship

"few posts"?? 😭

asdjhkajlhdjjshslkda sorry it's just this ship takes up too much of my personality to be just "few posts of kaeya and childe together" 😭😭😭

ERM ANYWAYS... AHHAHAJDSKASD

uhhh 1. i am not the guy to give good explanations for any ship im crazy about 2. bad memory and inability to talk eloquently be damned

i'd say that first of all they just *feel* right. which is -naturally- subjective as shit i just can see them interact, i can see the potential in their dynamic, kinda like... they have enough in common but also plenty of stuff they would have different opinions on. and all of it matches nicely where it's not "people who wouldnt get along due to crazy differences in morals and worldviews", it's more like "compatible people, whose differences can actually help them improve themselves"

uhhh ofc the whole abyss thing, kaeya being part of tartaglia's trial, hydro+cryo swag, them both being excellent big bros, etc etc (i probably am forgetting smth important) all of which helps me pretend they are real and canon

idk really how to explain it, it's just very real to me, and most of it i can only astral project into ur brain through vivid hallucinations i have about their interactions

and if i had to talk about my *personal* taste and why chaeya hits so hard, well it's just my fav "trope", where a character i don't care that much about (tartaglia) is simping HARD for the character a love (kaeya) LMAO i loveee seeing love fucking up imaginary people ok, AND my fav gets to receive all the attention teehee ^_^ (all of this is naturally kind of a joke, and only the surface level of what i think or i like about this ship)

maybe i could come up with more "reasons" .. errr.. tartaglia is crazy, but kaeya could handle that easily and make him better AND worse their banter would be immaculate, like u know they could have annoying fake conversations about weather and work with vague jabs and threats and somehow it's them flirting, but then also!! them talking fr?? being all fucking honest??? bruh. a man dedicated to his country and a man who had to question where he even belongs? wOooOOoOOw... angsty! deep! fascinating! now also take tartaglia's loyalty/dedication and throw all of it at kaeya? wow. have anyone ever gone crazy for kaeya like tartaglia could?? i need that and i think kaeya deserves that both are good with kids.... augh.... like consider all the 'political' tension there may be and them being on guard since this other guy lowkey highkey could be an enemy and then they both interact with klee. and like. WOW. no way this guy suddenly showing so much of his sweet and caring side?? 2094893 injured and 1 dead (it's me) ohhh they have such hardcore slowburn potential too... bc DENIAL ... and they shouldnt even like each other, but when they talk the sparks are fucking speeding thru and the flirting happens so naturally and oopsy daisy they are now casually writing each other letters totally insisting that all of it is to get some secret information out of the other but both long forgotten what that secret info even was AAAA ah.. there is just so much............... i could have written many novels of just my incoherent thoughts about them 😔

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1130 review

What a place to leave off before a two week break. As expected, we have actually arrived in Elbaph and man, the art is worth the years of build-up. This is also the ninth chapter of volume 111, making it the book's first possible stopping point. It would be a short volume, with a number of reduced page count chapters, but wouldn't this make an impression to go out on? I'd definitely want to get the next book after seeing it. And it would be nice and neat on Oda's end to finish a volume then take the break to plan out the next few.

I'm glad to get a little bit more of the other half of the crew's post-Egghead outfits as we establish they'll be joining the main plot on Elbaph soon. The cutaways to this group also reveal the purpose of splitting the crew the way Oda did - building tension over Vivi's status a little longer by keeping the group that would recognise her message from reading the paper. It's interesting the acknowledgement of how drastically Luffy's appearance changes in Gear Five that there's even a question of whether he usually has a mark on his arm (and it only takes a cursory review of any Egghead chapter to be absolutely sure he does not) but Robin gives us the info we need to fill in the gaps. I feel like Oda could have gone a little further in emphasising the blur on the arm against the clarity of the mark in his illustrations, but the point still gets across.

And I do love the Alabasta callback (and a 3D2Y one) all these years later, making such an iconic moment important to the plot in a way that feels really natural rather than a pure nostalgia shoutout.

It's also fun officially getting inflation as a justification for the extreme bounty inflation you see with the old generations vs the new. That's the kind of thing you usually see pitched as a headcanon to fill in the gaps, but here it is.

Getting back to the main group, we're introduced to the real Elbaph and it impresses on every front. The scale and ideas - the island built up in the tiers of Yggdrasil, the non-lego version of Bigstein Castle, that steep, enormous rope bridge. The worldbuilding detail of the slats being too far apart for human travellers (Luffy proves he's a Crash Bandicoot 1 vet by walking on the railing instead) and the artistic detail in the braided ropes holding it up. Finding out the apparent columns seen in the sky in previous glimpses of the island are waterfalls trailing from the higher branches. This is beautiful. We don't even see the top of the tree, so it's possible there's more above. But there are no waterfalls cascading down into the highest level we can see, so it's unlikely a hypothetical third tier would be as densely (if at all) populated as the ones below. Oh, and there's also the name, I guess. I was never much of a believer in the theory that it was meant to be 'fable' spelled backwards for some story reason - it's just never been Oda's style of wordplay, especially being in English, and I think if it was an intended reading Oda would have provided the romanisation earlier so both Japanese and English readers could figure it out, and if it was that important the correct spelling would probably have been provided to translators and merch producers so we wouldn't have a replica log pose that reads 'Elbuff' - but I did always think the Elbaf spelling was more aesthetically appealing. But canon marches on.

The Elbaph lore and culture is starting to build. The land perhaps stands rudderless - we know that King Harald is dead and neither of his two known official sons has been able to ascend to the throne. Loki for obvious reasons. Hadjurdin for less obvious ones, but he was talking on Dressrosa about wanting to be king of the giants. Is there a third son, official or otherwise, who's taken charge? An usurper? A queen regent? Or are either the warriors or Elder Jarul simply keeping the peace until the issue of succession can be resolved?

Then there's Loki himself. Very, very cool design on this one, and I have no idea whether I want to see it put to use more as an ally or as a villain. The ambitious assassination of his father, false Sun God angle and talk of the end of the world sure give off a villainous vibe (and that Doflamingo tongue has a bad association) but that's only what we've been told. There may be more to the story about Harald, more to the role of Sun God and the idea that it will destroy the world (remember the double meaning of Luffy's Fishman Island prophecy?) and layers to Loki's personality not yet shown. When he gets free (because obviously he has to) I'll be waiting to see if his actions back up or contract what we've been told.

To fixate on one little part of his appearance, what's with the blindfold? And the rendering in the last panel revealing the shape of his eye? I would put down a reasonable bet that the devil fruit he stole gives a power somehow related to or activated via the eyes. On the other hand, the loss of an eye is a very Norse mythology thing to include. The missing rendering gives the feeling of an empty socket, and we are still due an important character with an eyepatch. Or it could just be intended to imply Loki is using Observation Haki or some some other advanced sense to "look" at Luffy through his blindfold. I can never be sure how far to overthink these kinds of small details.

This is a great chapter that sets the tone for a great arc, and I can't wait to see what's in store when Oda comes back from his well-earned research break. Full arc Egghead review for real next week.

[ceedaryaps]

Fourth Wing Yap Sesh PT. 2

Omg lowkey surprised anyone saw the first post and I kinda got excited to seee that but anyways heres my little review on the plot of Fourth Wing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my favorite things about Fourth Wing is the amount of cliches that are used but instead of being like "ew again", it's more of a "they're so real for that."

Okay so first off, I like how in the first few moments they've already established the Sorrengail family dynamic off-rip. Mom is the absolute hard-ass, dead dad and brother combo, loving elder sister that mom respects and the kind of put to the side youngest sister that's underestimated cliche but I like it. It makes every action these characters take feel soo believable and realistic to me. Then the whole sisterly advice of staying away from the enemy, is intriguing, bc ouu who is this enemy why does he want Violet dead. Also the added humor of them talking about not screwing your superiors, realistic sibling convo tbh.

Jumping to the parapet scenes, man this really sets the tone of "Everything is dangerous," but at the same time, it was confusing. If the goal is to get as many cadets as possible to be riders so you can fight the looming threat (which hadn't been mentioned by this point if I remember correctly it's been about 2 months since I read the book). Then why are we making it as hard as possible to keep these cadets alive? I highly doubt that weeding out the weak is an answer especially if were crunched on numbers but I digress.

Violet seeing Xaden for the first time, my first thought was "Girl what is Rhysand doing here lmaoooo". I feel like we need to get more creative with our male love interest descriptions (WHERE THE FINE RED HEADS AT). Violent wanting to climb him is so real but at the same time Violet baby we gotta lock in were about to walk across a casm of death. Also, Barlowe throwing a kid off for WHAT. I think he's one of those kids who were bullied, hit puberty, then made everyone else's life hell. I too would be mad at the world if I was allergic to oranges.

After essentially killing potential cadets for no reason, they lined em up to sort em out, flex their dragons, and kill more of em. Granted, they definitely should not have run. Also if the man who I know wants me dead suddenly moved my squad under his wing I'd be fully shaking in my boots. Forget the fact that he's sexy he now has easier access to kill her and I wouldn't count on Dain to help at all. ATP they've shown that cadets are dispensable id sleep with an eye open.

I vibe heavily with the sparring scenes it's my fav part of any fantasy or dystopian book. Imogen absolutely GUNNING for Violet off rip, I hand it to Vi for not giving in though.

Over Violets time as Basigath I enjoyed reading about but I really ended up being completely uninterested until the gauntlet. The tension with Violet, Dain and Xaden honestly did nothing for me personally, I found myself more interested in the dragons, and how their riders' powers correlate. But I really liked the gauntlet as it showcased how SMART Violet is, she took something that was, realistically, nearly impossible for her to do, and she made it work. Why Amber was so mad about it I have no clue why, like its not cheating if anything you should be amazed at how inventive this cadet is like we should be PRAISING THIS.

Them being presented to the dragons was a key moment for me, Violet panicking bc she thought Ridoc got torched and he essentially just goes "Well ANYWAYS." Top tier.

Their actual bonding with dragons was another moment. Essentially Tairn was not going to bond at all but he was like well this one defended a feather tail, who probably could have bitten their heads off if she wanted to, might as well bond ig lmfaoo. Tairn is top tier. Also, I peeped that Andarna was a baby dragon right away, bc what do you mean, "no one ever seen a baby dragon," and "no one ever bonds with feathertails." I feel like at some point a scribe should have caught on.

Skipping to everyone getting their signets, I didn't understand why that one dude had to die for reading thoughts but Dain can just touch someone and see what they know, get fundamentally why they did it but??????????????????? Yall obviously do not care ab winning the battle if you gonna kill every cadet. Also why had no one discharged Barlowe for KILLING at least a quarter of first years pls, like why is he just allowed to do this?

About Violet and Xadens relationship, they piss me off lol. They remind me of that one couple in high school that are toxic and should NOT be together and they make it everyone else's problem. Only this is worse they are adults and have powers. I love them separately but together they just annoy me, I might be alone in this and that's fine by me. "I can't separate feelings from sex." Girl fuck feelings you could die the next day!!!! I will say though Violence being her nickname made me chuckle i feel like there are at least seven people (considering most of the cadets are dead atp lol) that are scarier than her.

Also fuck Dain.

While I liked Fourth Wing I feel like some parts dragged I could'nt find myself overly interested until Liam nearly died and Violet absolutely DEMOLISHED Barlowe (thank god). From here it picked up. Imma make this last part quick bc im typing this in class as we speak, but!!!

Xaden and the others have their own separate movement? Predictable, are they working with the gryphon fliers? Now admittedly it should have been obvious when they talked about dragons already knowing the wards were gonna fail but for me, it was an afterthought kind of thing. Dain reading Vi's memories? I. Fucking. Knew it! Slimey bitch.

Aretia being rebuilt? Ngl it's very unrealistic to me that no one is checking to make sure that place stayed rubble. Most mfs would have made a momument out of it for Navvare that's just lazyyy. Brennnan being alive? Man, I knew it. The millisecond that interaction happened with Xaden and Violet she was like "Well you killed my brother so we even," and he said "Hardly." I knew. Bc that is such an intentional word to use with someone who is grieving her dead brother and you say "hardly?" Yeah, I knew Brennan wasn't dead right then and there.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this review up here because I really need to lock in in class, lol. Overall, out of 5, I gave the fourth wing a 2.5. In my mind, this isn't a bad score; I just wasn't as personally engaged in it as I would have liked to be.

Now I've already finished Iron flame and that will be next so hopefully like a week from now I'll be posting about that.

Yap sesh over!

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 07 of ? | masterpost

word count: 2285 | ao3 link

I wondered if he knew he was the first one to touch me like this. I couldn't resist him. Apparently, he could tell — and he enjoyed it, the power he held over me.

✦ summary: As Cliff's birthday party approaches, Dave and Nore deepen their relationship and feel the sexual tension between them growing stronger and stronger.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female oc, oc is cliff's cousin, nsfw, +18, language, slice of life, mentions of sex, no smut but almost, drinking, smoking, fluff, cliff being cliff (overprotective older cousin), lars being lars (a little shit but in an endearing way), james being a good friend, dave and oc completely in love with each other

✦ a/n: hello! so today i will finish posting the parts that are already on ao3 (parts 7 and 8). later tonight i will release part 9 (which hasn't been posted anywhere yet). after that, i will resume the posting schedule, with new chapters coming every wednesday and sunday. hope you like it, feedback is welcome! ❤

✧ if you love me, be my angel ✧

"Hey, Nore, how about a beach party?"

Cliff's question caught me off guard. I was chilling on the couch, reading a book he had loaned me. It had been a few weeks after I moved in, and after the usual moving tensions, I was starting to feel like I fit in like I’d never felt at home.

"When?"

"For my birthday, this weekend. Joe's folks have a sick beach house, and he's down to let us have the bash there. You coming?"

I grinned.

"Hell yeah, count me in. Wouldn't miss your birthday."

"Awesome. I'll give Lars the heads up and hit up Leanne," he flashed a smile.

"Have you told James and Dave?" I asked, and he shook his head. "I'll give 'em a heads up then."

"Sounds good. But grab me a beer on your way back."

I jumped up, leaving the book on the couch as I headed to the hallway. I breezed through the kitchen and snagged a beer can from the fridge before heading upstairs to Dave's room. I stopped at the door, catching sight of Dave chilling on the bed without a shirt, strumming his guitar, while James kicked back in a chair with a beer in hand. I admired the scene for a moment; when they weren't at each other's throats, those two actually got along pretty well.

"You should, man," James was saying when I arrived. "For real."

"Hey," I said, and they looked at me. Dave flashed a smile and got up.

“Hey, Nore," he said. "Wanna come in?"

"Oh, I didn't want to barge in. I just came to tell you that Cliff said he's having his birthday party at Joe’s this weekend."

"Damn, party at Joe’s! I'm in," James grinned. Dave glanced at him, and they seemed to reach a silent agreement. I watched, curious, as James quickly got up to leave. "I'll give Lars the heads up. Catch ya later, Nore."

"Uh, bye," I said, confused.

He checked out the clothes by the foot of the bed, grabbed a Sex Pistols t-shirt and quickly put it on, running a hand through his hair to fix it. He smiled. "Is that beer for me?"

"Well, it was Cliff's actually, but I'll get him another when I'm back. You can have it," I handed him the beer. He held my wrist, pulling me onto his lap, making me blush.

"So, you going?" he asked.

"Where?"

"Cliff's party."

"Oh, yeah. Are you?"

"Like I'd miss the chance to see my girlfriend rockin' a bikini," he said, flashing a smile and gently brushing my lower lip with his thumb. I blinked, confused, feeling my heart skip a beat.

"Your... girlfriend?" I whispered, puzzled. He let out a soft laugh, and I realized he was a bit flustered. That was definitely new, I thought. He was always so confident, even bordering on cocky. I hadn't seen this side of him before.

"You know, I was just talking to James. I know we said we'd take it slow... with all this stuff happening between us. But he thought it was a good idea, so..." He held my chin in his hand, making me look into his eyes. "I really like you. I think we should be together for real."

I blinked, my heart racing and a sense of happiness welling up in the pit of my stomach.

"You mean..."

"I want you to be my girlfriend, Nore," he said, then glanced away with a sheepish smile. "Of course, if you don’t want to..."

"Dave," I cut him off, placing my hand on his cheek. He always seemed to think that I wouldn't want to be with him, but how could I not? He made me feel accepted. He made me feel safe. He made me feel loved in a way I had rarely felt before. I felt my heart flutter as I answered him, "Of course, I want to."

He didn't say a word, just pulled me close into his lap, his lips meeting mine as he held me tightly in his arms. All I wanted was for him to devour every inch of me. Even in that moment, I could feel the electricity in the air that sparked when we touched, as if we couldn't bear to be apart for too long.

If that was love, then we were way past the point of no return.

There was no turning back.

And I didn't want there to be.

I wasn't sure whether we should tell Cliff and the others about our relationship. I was certain that Cliff would give me a hard time about it one way or another, but Dave convinced me:

"Hey, I'm not going to hide that you're my girlfriend. If we're going to be together for real, I want everyone to know."

Of course, after hearing that, I couldn't deny him anything.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand in his. I smiled as our fingers intertwined. "Let's find Cliff."

We didn't even have to go far. I jumped back in surprise when I opened the door and came face to face with a grinning Lars.

"Lars, what the hell is this?" I yelled. Taking a closer look, I saw Cliff and James leaning against the hallway wall, Cliff looking bored and James barely holding back his laughter.

"So, are you two a thing or what?" Lars asked.

"We're what?"

"Dating! Are you his girlfriend now or not?"

"Oh," I felt my face heat up. "We... Yeah. I am."

"Ha! I knew it!" Lars celebrated. James chuckled, and Cliff rolled his eyes.

"Wait. How did you know? And what are you three doing here?" Dave asked, furrowing his brow. "Were you spying on us or something?"

"I just told them you wanted some alone time with Nore," James explained himself. "The rest Lars figured out on his own, and he dragged us here to confirm."

"You sneaky bastard, Lars," I said, smiling in disbelief. "Unbelievable."

"Hey, I ain't to blame if you two are the most obvious couple in California," he answered, making everyone laugh. Dave wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close and planting a gentle kiss on my forehead, and I smiled as his embrace surrounded me.

A month ago, I could hardly imagine feeling so alive like this. Yet, here I was, living with my cousin, dating the guy I liked, and having new friends who truly cared about me.

I couldn't be happier.

The weekend of Cliff's party started off sunny, although a bit chilly, which got me excited. I woke up early and packed my swimsuit and everything I needed in a bag, then loaded it all into the borrowed van. James was loading the van with crates of beer when I arrived.

"Hey, are we good to go?" he asked.

"Not yet," I answered. "Lars and Dave are still asleep. Cliff left. I think he went to pick up Leanne."

"Yeah, he did. Just talked to me a sec ago before he split. But you know those two, they'll be running late 'cause they're busy fucking again," he chuckled. I laughed, feeling a bit awkward. "Hey, mind lending' a hand with this stuff?" he asked. I nodded and started helping him load up the van.

We were quietly working for a bit until he asked, "So, how's it going with, uh, you and him?"

"Him?" I questioned.

"Yeah, Dave," he clarified.

"Oh," I blushed, "It's going well."

He chuckled. I gave him a curious look.

"You blush so easily," he shrugged.

"It's not on purpose, I swear."

"Nah, but it's cute," he smiled, "Just don't tell Dave I said that. He might throw a punch at me... again. Looks like you're surrounded by some jealous dudes, huh?"

"That's not on purpose either," I chuckled, awkwardly.

I handed him the last crate of beers, and he placed it in the back of the van.

"I'll go fetch Lars. You should wake up Dave… Before Cliff shows up," he said, grinning.

I headed inside the house, quickly climbed the stairs, and hesitated at the door of Dave's room. I turned the knob and let out a soft giggle at how he was sprawled out asleep on the bed. I shut the door before stepping in and perched on the edge of the bed, giving his arm a gentle shake.

“Dave...?” I whispered. He turned in bed, opening his eyes amidst a mess of ginger hair, and smiled when he saw me.

"Hey," he said, taking my hand and kissing it, making me smile.

"Good morning."

"Come here," he said, shifting in bed, making room for me. I lay down beside him, and he pulled me into his arms. I nuzzled his chest, feeling comfortable in the warmth of the bed and his body. He kissed my forehead and breathed, "You're adorable, you know that?"

I blushed, wondering why he was being so affectionate. Maybe he was just sleepy, but it didn't matter — I loved it when he praised me.

He held me with one hand on my waist, pulling me close effortlessly as he buried his face in my neck, using his other hand to lift my leg and place it around his hip. I shivered as he kissed the base of my neck and then my collarbone. 

"Cliff left, didn't he?" he whispered, his lips against my skin.

"Yes," I whispered back, my heart racing. 

"So no one's going to bother us now?" I could feel his smile against my neck. 

"I hope not," I said, softly. 

He held me firmly, turning me in bed as if I weighed nothing, and rose, kneeling with his legs around my hips as he took off his shirt. I stared at him, his dark eyes in the dimness of the room, his hair a mess of curls; I could see in his gaze that he wanted to devour me right there.

I was completely surrendered to him.

He held my brown hair firmly in one hand, his lips meeting mine in a kiss as his tongue eagerly invaded my mouth, his other hand holding my hip vigorously as he pressed his hips against mine. I moaned in his kiss when I felt his erection against me, my heart racing as my whole body shivered. I wondered if he knew he was the first one to touch me like this. I couldn't resist him. Apparently, he could tell — and he enjoyed it, the power he held over me.

Dave moves his hips slowly against mine while his kisses trailed off to my neck again. I raised my legs, placing them around his waist and bringing him closer to me while his hand cupped my face softly. He lightly bit my neck as I held onto his arms, my nails digging into his skin as my breath quickened. 

"Dave..." I whispered. He pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes and smiling sweetly. I felt my face flush as he caressed my lower lip with his thumb, his brown eyes getting lost in my blue ones. In that moment, all I wanted was to stay in his arms forever. 

Of course, that's when we heard someone knocking on the door.

We froze, waiting. After a few seconds, the knocking repeated, followed by Cliff's voice. 

"Hey, you guys ready? We're already heading out." 

"Fuck," Dave growled, getting up and forcefully swinging open the door, revealing Cliff leaning against the frame in a relaxed position, holding a lit joint in his hand. "Damn it, Cliff! Why did you have to butt in now?"

"Oh, did I disturb something?" he asked, smirking with irony. 

"Yeah, you did. Everyone has to wait when you go to Leanne's place, but now you're busting in on us? Come on, man!" 

"Well, at least I don't make everyone late," Cliff answered, coldly. "Get dressed or I'll leave you behind. Hurry up, Nore."

I quickly got up and left the room, blushing as my eyes met Cliff's. He seemed to be enjoying my embarrassment, but I didn't say a word to him. I walked outside and got into the van, sitting next to Leanne with an annoyed sigh.

“Rough morning?” she asked with a smile.

"Thanks to Cliff, that moron," I grumbled. She let out a little chuckle. 

"He cares about you, you know?" 

"A bit too much." 

"Well, it's nice to have someone who looks out for you like that, isn't it?" she smiled. "So, what did he do this time, anyway?"

“Ruined the moment, like always.” I grumbled, feeling my face heat up. She laughed. 

"You and Dave were...?"

"No!" I blurted out, then buried my face in my hands, embarrassed.

"Okay, maybe... almost," I confessed. 

"Hey, think about it this way. At least you dodged the whole pregnancy scare thing, right?" 

I arched an eyebrow. Honestly, that hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Guess I should be thankful then," I mumbled, and she let out a soft chuckle.

James and Lars popped out of the house and hopped into the van. James took the driver's seat while Lars settled in the one right in front of us. 

"Morning, ladies," Lars greeted with a smirk. He glanced at me and snickered. "You know you've got a hickey on your neck, right?" 

I blushed, instinctively covering my neck with my hand but stayed silent.

Soon, Dave and Cliff showed up. Dave plopped down next to me, while Cliff squeezed in beside Lars, arms crossed. The atmosphere became slightly tense. Dave wrapped his arms around my shoulders as the two of them locked eyes in a tense stare-down.

I sighed. This trip was gonna be one hell of a ride.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Saw your recent post and this is a request for you to ramble about why you enjoy horror movies so much & which are your favourites & why. I love rambles.

Aaaaaaa this might be very long so just a warning in advance!!!

Okay so why I like horror: honestly I've always just loved horror. Like I remember as a kid being very fascinated by urban legends, and ghost stories and those totally-not-fake-totally-real videos and images of ghosts and other supernatural stuff. And over the years I just became obsessed with horror movies especially! But I think what really appeals to me about the genre is that anything can be made scary. Because really there is horror in everything imo. Even the most normal, mundane thing can be captured as the most terrifying thing in the world. And horror can also blend so well with other genres. Horror comedies are obviously very popular. So are dramas that have a lot of horror elements. Horror can be romantic, funny, action-filled, adventurous just as much as it can be scary. It's just such a joy to see all these different genres mixed together and to see how even the same or similar topics can be made in vastly different kinds of horror. Also like people will find the same thing scary for different reasons and in different ways, which is, again, what makes stuff like this so fascinating to see.

And another thing that appeals to me about horror is that horror reflects the society of the time it was made in really interesting ways, and can critique it in such interesting ways. Like nowadays there's quite a few horror movies about trauma and mental illness, and I think that reflects how nowadays those topics are more talked about so they're also portrayed more in horror, and shown how scary it can be to live with that. While in the past mental illness was used more as a way to demonise a character.

That's just the current day example, but every decade has had horror critiquing the way society is and showing the fears reflected at the time. Like, in the US, there was a rise in slasher movies/movies about serial killers after they were everywhere in the news. Or how in the 2000s there was a rise in brutality and gore because of 9/11 and the brutality of real life people kept seeing, which was reflected in the movies (I'm sorry this is more US centric. Unfortunately a lot of the horror movie stuff that is most available to me to read/watch tends to be more US centric). Of course this doesn't mean all horror movies do a good job at social critique, there are unfortunately a lot of horror movies that play into stereotypes. But a lot of them reflect something in society one way or another and I think horror is the most fascinating way to explore all these different themes!

Idk if that made any sense lmao.

Anyway aome of my favourite horror movies and why:

My fav horror film of all time is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) I could straight up write a whole separate long post just about why I love this movie so much. But aaaah I've never seen a movie that does horror so well. Like I've seen 554 horror movies and this is still easily the scariest one I've seen. It captures the fear and tension of the whole situation so well. Its an isolated setting. The product design is honestly *chefs kiss*. And like this movie feels like a terrifying fever dream and looks exactly like it. I've only seen one other movie that manages to capture the nightmare fever dream feel to a similar extent, but the movie was literally meant to be a ripoff of Texas Chainsaw Massacre lmao (the movie is the original Toolbox Murders. It's not very good overall but imo that feeling I'd there. Though fun fact: the Toolbox Murders remake was directed by Tobe Hooper, who is the director of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And I think that's hilarious since the original Toolbox Murders was a ripoff of his movie)

Another fav is Saw (2004). I can't even begin to describe why I adore Saw so much, but just look at it! The concept is cool and terrifying. And the movie is just damn impressive. Yeah you can tell it had a small budget and they shot the whole thing in like three weeks, but imo it's such a great and unique example of indie filmmaking. It also does a great job at making you care about the characters and so seeing all that happen to them is even more devastating. Also I would kill for Adam I can't even lie.

Honestly my "favourite horror movies" list has over 60 horror movies in there so I don't think I can ramble about every single one. But I'll ramble about what they're like at least.

A lot of my fav horror movies tend to fall in the slasher subgenre and honestly idk why. I just find slasher movies so fun to watch. They're so campy and ridiculous. But also when they're done super well, they make you abnormal forever btw

But also yeah I love psychological horror/horror with a much deeper meaning. I'd argue that every piece of art has a deeper meaning, even the shitty stuff, but there are movies that put in a bit more effort into it than others. And I do enjoy reading analysis of those movies and trying to think about them myself in that way. It's a really cool way pass time and to grow more insane about horror!!

Idk what else to say rn, but if you want to know more please ask. I love talking about horror literally whenever

[the-real-lilac-elf]

got tumblr again just because I have thoughts abt barbie movie. gonna be super messy but I gotta get all my thoughts out. spoilers spoilers spoilers you've been warned watch the movie before reading this

also I talk abt women and girls a lot but like gender complicated some of it also relates to any afab ppl, some of it to anyone feminine, so keep that in mind reading it

it was fun it was entertaining it was visually super well done (the sets and the costumes oh my godddd) and yet I am SO CONFUSED

okay okay so like there were just so many things crammed in, so many plot points and like so many ideas and so much POTENTIAL and I liked the setup they had for so much of it but it never felt fully expanded on!! I honestly would've watched ten hours of this movie if only😭😭

stereotypical barbie, her journey throughout the movie could definitely be seen as a story about a young girl growing up and seeing what the world is like. she starts out in "barbieland", where everything is a perfect fantasy and life is beautiful and fun and thst could all be seen as like childhood. and then as she starts "malfunctioning" and eventually sees the real world, that's her starting to grow up, and her at the end choosing to be human and live in the real world is like her becoming an adult.

I'm not sure how I feel abt this way of seeing the movie?? like it's kind of cool, since that is what a lot of girls go through growing up. I heard when I was a kid that things used to be bad for women, but now it's all getting better and women can be whatever they want to be and blah blah blah. then you grow up and realize it's not true, that things haven't changed much.

and barbie being a person who sees the real world and decides she wants to live in the real world as a real woman is kinda cool, it's definitely got some beautiful synbolism abt growing up and living in the world proudly as a woman despite misogyny

on the other hand, I don't know if that's really an applicable journey for barbie herself. there was this suggestion throughout the movie that barbie was "an idea". idk if I like the movies ending, that barbie becomes human and like... isn't barbie anymore?? it just felt kind of strange and out of nowhere to me

I think if they'd made the themes of her "growing up" more explicit, then her leaving barbieland at the end would make more sense, but there's kind of a tension between her being an idea and a concept versus a person with agency, like within the reality of the movie. I made another long post abt the lore of barbieland but the summary is that it's like a magic idea space where mattel products are created. so it's kinda weird to have stereotypical barbie fully choosing to leave that world. the concept of barbie like deciding not to be barbie anymore kinda sucks, because she is THE stereotypical barbie, and her leaving barbieland would imply that they like aren't making any stereotypical barbies anymore?? which I don't think is what the movie meant to imply but like ahhhhhhh

also idk what I would've preferred the ending be, it rlly depends on what the focus of the rest of the movie was, cuz if I could change things abt this movie I'd have way more focus on a few points and one or two subplots rather than what the movie was actually about

so there were (basically) three subplots they were working with: Gloria and Sasha, the Mattel ceos, and the kens. it felt like too much time was split between them all and there was never a satisfying conclusion from any of it. I feel like each of those plot points could've done more and could've communicated a particular theme

the themes I think they were trying to communicate were:

1. basically being a woman is hard - and being a woman is contradictory and difficult, women shouldn't have to be perfect and they're held to too high a standard, growing up and learning abt misogyny is hard, patriarchy is bad and it exists in lots of ways in the world

2. gender equality - women shouldn't be an idea or an object their ideas should be valued and they should be subjects, womens stories should be told, women should be in positions of power as much as men, feminine interests and aesthetics are as important as masculine ones (not rlly one the movie explicitly made but probably the most important one imo, like look at the movie)

3. men?? - men shouldn't be entitled to women, men shouldn't define themselves by their relationships, patriarchy hurts men

personally I wish the movie had focused less on the kens and men in general cuz I wanted this to be as much as possible an unapologetically feminine movie and as focused on female characters as possible, but if they were gonna focus on that i have some ideas abt how they could've done it differently.

personally, I also hoped it would have more focus on queerness, on how boys are discouraged from playing with barbie and by extention some theme of like femininity isn't just for girls, but honestly it already had way too many themes it was trying to address and I'm asking for too much here, would've been cool but it's okay that there were only small nods to queerness. at least there was earring ken, weird barbie and allen

so I think it would've been rlly lame if the Mattel corporation was the main subplot focus. maybe barbie meets Gloria and gets to actually see what her life is like in the workplace. maybe at the end she or Gloria or both work as higher ups in the company and get to be a part of making new barbie ideas. idk honestly, I think having them as a small part of the movie was ideal and they could've been an even smaller part.

Gloria and Sasha should've been the main focus of the movie imo. they both could've been such compelling characters if they'd had more screentime and they could show two completely different perspectives on barbie. more couldve been shown of glorias life cuz we don't rlly know much about her and I wish we did. it's never rlly shown why Sasha stops hating barbie by the end of the movie, it's kinda just brushed over; maybe she could've been shown to realize that even tho barbie can promote negative body image stereotypes and is owned by a massive corporation and encourages consumerism, she also means a lot to a lot of women and the stories and love they have for her means something despite everything wrong with her. and her mom was the perfect example of this!! and I think this is what the movie was going for and I wish this had just been made more of a focus!! and the relationship between Gloria and Sasha definitely definitely should've gotten more attention, they're shown to be distant at the beginning and it's changed by the end, but WHY!! why is Sasha distant at the beginning, why are her and Gloria closer by the end?? it would've been a great thing to actually explore it, maybe to show how playing with barbie used to bring them together or how Sasha realizes all the stuff she's realizing abt the world, how it's misogynistic and messed up, her mom already knows and she's not ignoring it she's just learned how to live with it. god that could've been such a beautiful point to make a scene with Sasha and Gloria connecting and learning to understand each other would've made this movie for me honestly. and maybe barbies ending is she chooses to stay in barbieland and keep being an idea that celebrates femininity, maybe her ending is she realizes that's the good she's doing for people when she sees Gloria and Sasha realize that too

the kens are interesting cuz I get why they're in the movie and I like 50 percent get the point they're making but I could've done with way less of them or more of them. the plot line abt Ken bringing patriarchy to barbieland wasn't my favorite and if it hadn't been there and there'd been more time for Gloria and Sasha I'd be happy. at the same time I wish they'd gotten more into patriarchy and how it affects men, or how being dependent on someone affects you, or how feeling like you need to be dating a woman is harmful to men and to women. personally, I would've been absolutely obsessed if Ken went to the real world, saw how patriarchy existed, thought it was cool, and then saw how it negatively affected women - specifically, saw how it made women think they needed men to be whole and how women were often only portrayed in stories as love interests. and he saw himself in that, and maybe even bonded with some woman in particular who was also dependent on a partner or felt like she needed a partner, and that was what inspired him to be separate from barbie and wear his "I am kenough" hoodie and all that good shit. I'm biased cuz I saw Ken and I was like ooooh a storyline abt dependency?? hell yea and I wish that had gotten more emphasis honestly. or maybe ken couldve seen how in the real world women are harmed by being excluded from "masculine" stuff and he couldve gone back to barbieland and made the kens realize what they really wanted was to be included in feminine stuff, not to be left out of girls nights and dances and everything, i think that couldve made a rlly interesting subplot. ultimately I don't hate the Ken story we got, I just feel like it could've been a lot of different things and I kinda wish if it was gonna be a focus that they'd done it a little differently.

in conclusion I loved this movie and it had a lot going for it, but it was also kinda confusing and messy and packed with ideas. I can't blame it for being messy and complicated cuz gender is messy and complicated and they couldnt possibly address everything. instead i wish it'd been a little more focused, given a little more attention to some of the ideas, made it's points a little more clear. but whatever, it's still great and has so much raw potential and so many ideas that ik people are gonna have so much fun expanding on those ideas and interpreting it all and that's beautiful

[guardianspirits13]

I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

[redpensandgreenarrows]

OKAY! Alright! Time to gather my Bridgerton S2 thoughts...

This post will more than likely be a long one and kinda ramble-y, dive in below the cut at your own risk. 😉

Obviously there will be spoilers. This is your warning, hehe. And please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas with me, I'd love to chat!! (And let us hope I can remember all the things I want to say...)

Overall, I REALLY liked this season. I liked it better than S1, but that's no hate to Saphne and their story. I very much enjoyed both for their own reasons. Also, I wish I had known to bring tissues for this season because SO MANY THINGS MADE ME CRY!

General thoughts on what I liked/didn't like:

Liked:

I like how they interpreted Kate and Anthony's love story from the books. Meaning, I like how both characters in the show accepted/acknowledged that they loved the other - internally at least - but the reason they fought it so hard we due to a sense of duty. Versus in the book: Kate thinking she wasn't as pretty/desirable as her sister, and Anthony refusing to love because he was sure he was going to die young.

Going off of that, I liked the change that Anthony didn't want to marry for love because he didn't want to be the cause of the type of pain Violet went through if anything ever happened to him. This felt more real - in conjunction with the flash backs - rather than this arbitrary belief that he only had a few more years to live because he obviously wouldn't out live his father.

WOO! That sexual tension! Hot DAMN.

Anything and everything Benedict/Luke Thompson. He fucking SLAYED this season, and no one can say otherwise.

Also, I got to watch Luke dress down, and I am all for more Luke T skin in my life.

Pall Mall was AMAZING.

More Bridgerton brothers fencing!

The Bridgerton's failed ball, but watching Anthony bring the Bridgertons and Sharmas together with the country dance! OMG IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. EVERYONE HAD SO MUCH FUN! Well for a moment at least.

Disliked:

I didn't like that they hurt Edwina in this story. I like how Edwina in the book cottoned on to how Kate and Anthony felt and helped bring them together. The only reason I am not in an absolute rage about it is because of the badass backbone she grew from the revelation. It hurt like hell to see her go through that when you kept wanting Kate to just talk to her, but Edwina grew so much from the situation and finally became her own person.

They didn't give me enough Newton. Newton is an agent of chaos. We got a few scenes of sass and one scene of chaos - fall in the river. Not nearly enough.

The Sheffields. They are assholes. (Good for the plot, but I just dislike them because they are assholes.)

The whole Jack/Prudence/Portia triangle thing. Like I know Jack wasn't actually involved with Pru, but as soon as he made moves on Portia I was uncomfortable. 🤢🤢🤢🪕🪕🪕

The Featherington mourning dresses. Those browns were rancid.

The fact there was no explanation for Frannie's "disappearance"

Character points:

Anthony:

I am surprised the man didn't have a heart attack in the beginning. Talk about your Type A personality. Granted the flashbacks gave us a lot of insight, so we know why he is the way he is, but holy fuck. I've never seen someone micromanage their life so much.

The fact that I heard him say the phrase "child baring hips" 😡😡😡. Fuck off.

The INTENSITY this man brings to his performance is AMAZING.

Also, he made me cry MULTIPLE times season. Watching Jonathan's face crack as he cries immediately makes me cry. I wasn't ready.

THE BEE SCENE! 1.) I need Jonny to never make that panic/emotional face ever again. That hurt. 2.) The feeling of the hearts!!! What I perfect way to reassure Anthony that she is okay, even if Kate didn't realize how poignant it was!!! BRILLIANT.

His whole speech when he says "I love you" to Kate at the end. BEAUTIFUL. Full heart on sleeve. A++++

Kate:

It was like watching Anthony from S1. Which I'm sure was the point, but woo! Major deja vu.

Watching the battle of wits between her and Anthony: *chef's kiss*

Watching her struggles was so beautifully acted.

Also, I loved her little chat with Eloise. They played it out that those two could become close in future seasons. I'm here for it because that also plays into Ben becoming close with Kate, which I 1000% want.

I like how Kate kinda ended up being the one to finally give in and take the initiative when they first had sex. She said "yes let us finally do something for ourselves."

I love Kate. She is amazing, especially after she recognizes and acknowledges her issues. Yay for accepting happiness!

Kathony:

How. HOW!? Is it possible to have so much chemistry and have the act of "dancing around each other's faces, nearly touching" be SO DAMN HOT!? What is this witchcraft!? It was hotter than any of the damn sex scenes in S1. Everyone, I give you: the "female gaze". You're welcome.

THE WRITERS REALLY SLOW BURNED THE HELL OUT OF THIS DIDN'T THEY!?!?!? 👀👀👀 Straight out of a gd fanfic.

Once they got together at the end, and seeing them so happy together was so beautiful. And I don't care that they made out in front of family. Those two idiots in love would so do that. And the family was happy for them, so 😛.

Benedict:

Everything.

The snark from the beginning. Me and my dark ass humor love him.

He fucking MOOED at Eloise. 🐮🐮🐮

Watching him dump a whole ass pouch of drugs into his tea, down it, and proceed to get high af. A++++ However, I thought he was going to do more during the dinner. That scene felt too short 😂.

I guess Benedict and windows are a thing: he yells out of them, gestures out of them, ... and eventually climbs out of them to run to a lake - while sick - to get rid of a boner. Windows. Who knew? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not only an artist, but he makes up poetry on the spot!? Sophie's a goner. She won't be able to resist his romantic ass. (I certainly can't.)

I GOT TO WATCH THE MAN STRIP, AND I GOT TO SEE HIS ASS. Not mad about it. 😇 (Frankly, I thought the scene with him sleeping with the model was going to be more of a thing. Guess not.)

I can only imagine how the news about Anthony's monetary contribution killed any and all ideas about who he thought he was becoming. Bring on the "#2/second son" gloomy thoughts. However, I was pleasantly surprised by Anthony's praise at the end when Ben confronted his brother about leaving the school. I'm glad his family seem to appreciate his abilities.

Eloise:

Boy! Did this poor girl go through the emotional rollercoaster this season! Social season stress, almost uncovering Lady W, finding someone she's attracted to, being threatened by the Queen, pushing away the man she's attracted to, scandalized by Lady W and then finding out her best friend has been keeping a secret that she is Lady W. THAT IS SO MUCH.

I felt bad seeing her so uncomfortable and feeling like she can't live up to expectations. However, seeing her with the giant feather in her hair in the beginning was quite humorous.

She did manage to make the Queen laugh, which was unexpected, but I loved!

Bless her for always sticking to her beliefs and ideals. She's a badass.

That last scene with Penelope. Holy. Fuck. SO MUCH EMOTION. But so good. I hate that she's hurt though. I have no idea how they will find their friendship again.

Other characters:

I didn't expect the Colin storyline where he outs Jack and protects the Featherington women. But I liked it! And I also liked how natural his changing feelings towards Pen felt, especially after what Marina said to him. But of course they had to throw in that heartbreaking line at the end. 😬😬😬

Boy, did Pen's Lady W secret really come for her at multiple angles this season! I wasn't expecting how quickly that was all going to happen. And again that ending was devastating between her and Eloise.

Speaking of Marina. I'm glad they seem to be treating her story well. Book Marina's story is very tragic, and I hoped show Marina's story would be somewhat easier on her. The poor thing deserves it. But I have NO idea how the show is going to bring Phillip and Eloise together.

Phillip you big ass botany nerd. 🤓🤓🤓

Seeing how excited Hyacinth became when Anthony asked her to dance! My heart!!! Just being the best big brother 💙.

ANTHONY AND GREGORY'S SCENE ABSOLUTE DESTROYED ME! I WAS A SOBBING MESS. I CRIED SO MANY TIMES THIS SEASON. I WAS NOT OKAY.

Justice for Francesca!

I love seeing Lady D and Mama Bridgerton team up to play matchmaker. It makes me happy. Lady D has become this second Bridgerton parent and I'm here for it.

I will say, seeing Lady D RATTLED this year was a shock. I was not expecting that. HOWEVER, I think it made her more... human. Even those with that "fuck around and find out" attitude can hit bumps in the road.

The scene with Violet and Anthony after she tells him that Kate is awake also destroyed me. SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME I WOULD NEED TISSUES!

And Daphne!! I adored this more wise and mature Daphne. You can really see the growth from S1!!! 💙

Okay. My brain is shutting down. I don't think I can think of anything else right now. But PLEASE share your thoughts and feelings! I'd love to chat about this season 😊!!!

[loveisneurotic]

Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.

[nightswithkookmin]

RE JIKOOK IS ESTRANGED

Them

Me

Lol

JUMP CUT ALERT: This is a continuation of an ongoing discussion behind the scenes.

DISCLAIMERS:

Article 19, UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Every person has the right to freedom of opinion and expression which includes the freedom to hold an opinion without interference through any media.

Misinterpretation of my opinion, my words constitute a violation of my human rights. Please do not take my words out of context, share it on another platform in furtherance of your own agenda. If you do hold yourself accountable first. You are the author of your own intentions and interpretations.

I do not intend malice by my words nor do I seek to be disrespectful of any member mentioned in here. I simply enjoy mentally stimulating conversations and thought provoking discussions.

Let the records show.

MATTER OF THE DAY

Thanks to everyone that's shared your thoughts on this matter with me and thanks to that person that brought this matter to my attention.

I haven't looked into it and I don't know how severe this issue is.

I think people have the right to believe in anything they want to believe in. Personally, I don't think Santa is real but clearly others do, doesn't mean I'm sane or that they are crazy.

I don't think discussions of this nature should be about who is right or who is wrong. Everyone's opinion is valid and holds true to their own delusions. Lol.

Frankly, I prefer this kind of ship wars to the slurs and abuses and they are distributing hard core porn now?? What is going on! Chileee.

I have never believed JK and Tae to be anything more than friends. At one point, I wondered if they were even friends at all lol but since they admitted to having had a falling out themselves at one point the topic is now moot.

Tae and JK have- had- have a really special bond. To me anyways. I always saw them as the evil power twins of BTS due their ability to come together to wreck havoc especially on Bang PD's scripts. Lol. I think I have mentioned this a few times now.

I smiled to myself when I heard them call themselves partners in crime. The bond is there no two ways about it- you either appreciate it for what it is or you don't. personally I love their bond. Can't stand their shippers but I love their bond. They keep the drama going for me- love it. Lol

The question has always been whether their bond is as profound as their shippers make it seem. I argue it's not and I will always argue it is not. Lol

I think it's only fair that they also question whether Jikook's bond is as profound as we make it sound. I really can't be mad at that. All is fair in love and war- at the very least we can agree to disagree.

I mean even Jikookers themselves question the extent of JK and JM's bond. Some think they are just very special friends and nothing more. I think I talked about this in my is Jikook real post when I mentioned labels and the degree of love between JK and JM?

We know JK and JM have a unique bond. The question then is how far does that bond go. Is it just platonic, romantic or something in between?

This is the question I was aiming to answer with my is Jikook real post. My objective was to try and dismantle all the nuances that keep us from seeing the 'truth' about Jikook- that they are real. At least the way I see them.

I talked about unrealistic expectations we have of Jikook, false conditionings that often leads us to see Jikook as something more than they are- the amplified Jikook. We get used to highlight reels of Jikook's interactions in edits such that we feel there is something wrong with them when we see them in real time.

I mentioned that Jimin's nurturing nature often also estops people from reading more into his relationship with JK. He is nurturing of everyone, JK ain't special- they argue, just as this person is doing.

I talked about Jimin's Idol persona, the facade of the boy in love with JK- Jimin's role within BTS since debut and how that can equally blind us into thinking Jikook is something more or less than they really are. I have a post dedicated to this topic sitting in my drafts so I will not go into the details of it here. Please look forward to that.

But this person's post touches on another aspect of Jimin's personality that I feel is one of the things that often keeps us from seeing his relationship with JK for what it really is- his inclination for professionalism.

I keep saying this, several times now, that Jimin's Idol persona to me seems well developed, elaborate and very elusive.

I have mentioned a few times how I think during Jikook break ups that they keep it civil and professional for the sake of the team and that you might not even notice the difference especially if you place high value on their skinship.

The skinship would be there, the cordiality and civility would equally be there- except for moments when they are fighting, that gets bloody. Lol. They are best friends at the very least. It is why it's important to reevaluate the metrics we use to determine whether or not they are a couple.

I wish I could dialogue with this person to understand her assessment of Jikook and what she is using to determine whether or not Jikook are a couple and what makes her think Tae and JK are. Know what I mean?

What makes her think Jikook were a couple before 2017? What makes y'all think Jikook are a couple at all? I would like to hear from y'all- but come at me with the skinship bit and I'll block you deadass. Lol

So on this person's post, I think I agree with her assessment of JM's persona but I don't agree with the Jikook have been broken up since 2017. And I think I understand where this is coming from... I think some of us do. Yes they had a few fights that year especially leading up to Jimin's birthday- August was it? but we all know JK more than made up for it with the damn GCFs. Lol. kindly visit the timeline, peruse as many content as you can and form your own opinion on it. This is just mine.

Are Jikook Jikooking all the time? Absolutely not. They are human too. They fight, they make up, they break up they get back together, they have introverted, extroverted moments, they go up, they go down- have bad hair days, it's all part of their dynamics I'm afraid. From my point of view of course.

I feel some people notice these things too and when they sense Jikook aren't in a good place they bow out and Jump ship- I don't blame them. They are shippers not supporters. What Jikook need are supporters not shippers- or maybe both, do you.

Could this person be one such people? DNF shippers? Given up on Jikook before the end of their story? I don't know. May be.

Jikook is not a fantasy that you ship. It's a relationship that you support. You can't escape into them. They are an ongoing love story- chapters close, chapters open, you just have to ride it out till the very end.

I think the challenge of their post for me is whether or not Jikook is a performance. Her post leans into the whole Jikook is fanservice bull especially in light of the recent photoshoot video which some are using as evidence Jikook don't 'click' when the cameras are off- the lies they tell on Beyonce's internet!

I think I have speculated on this and shared my thoughts on this whole Jikook is fanservice bit. I will delve deeper into it in my next post on Jimin's idol persona but as I've already said, Jikook is fanservice is equally a misnomer.

Yes Jikook does fanservice sometimes, but they are not fanservice. Fanservice is the cover for their relationship. It's their glass ceiling- nothing to see here folks just two snakes under glass. Keep it pushing. (Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Lol)

But you do raise a valid question, what is Jikook like when the cameras are not filming?

Is the mood of Jikook in that footage the general mood of Jikook behind cameras as Tuktukkers are claiming? They barely interact, JM doesn't pay much attention to Kook, yadda yadda yadda?

And the part that gives me a complex, that JK only interacts with JM when they are the center of attention. Huh???????????

Sigh.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

The theory you pointed out in support of this assertion isn't mine and I think I made it clear I didn't share the same thoughts on it. I said it was valid nevertheless. Chilee, this is hard. Lol

Yes JK is an introvert, Jimin is an extrovert, JM doesn't live for JK, all that is true and some Jikookers have said that too- so when you ask, if this is who they are when the cameras are off does that mean what they do when the cameras turn on is fanservice-

I-👁👄👁

I don't know the thought process that went into that theory so I can't confidently defend it. I'll ask? Lol.

Personally, I'd like to know whether or not they see the tension in that footage as tension in the first place. Chileee I don't know.

I see it as tension. Not a very serious one though. So we'd have to agree to disagree on that one.

But the part I can argue, the part I agree with is Jikook aren't hyper super duper lovey dovey on each other all the time. They aren't cuddly all the time. They have their moments of quiet- Jimin seems like the more affectionate kind who'd rub all over JK in the comfort of their homes but still...

If you ask me though, I think Jikook are tamer on cameras than they are behind scenes. I always talk about the fear and panic in the members' eyes when they see Jikook gravitating towards each other- it's probably because they know the extent of Jikook's shenanigans. They know how worse it can be because they've seen it all.

And when JK panics sometimes when JM gets closer too you just know dude is scared perhaps because of his Mochi chick's devil may care shamelessly in love policies- Jimin wild. Bless him.

I did say also that Memories 2019 is equally eye opening. These were censored bits. BigHit was holding all of that and giving us crumbs- stingy mfs. Bless.

All that said, again I don't think Jikook are hyper lovey on eachother behind the scenes. Another part I diverge from that view is that this is not exactly off camera. It was just behind the scenes of a photoshoot. Something we've seen a countless times.

This is not BTS's first ever behind scenes photoshoot. It's just a different angle that's all.

They were working. They were at work. This wasn't an alone private space for them so they can't base on this to say Jikook don't interact when the cameras are off.

The cameras were rolling. We saw them interact, JM was interacting with everyone the way he always does on camera all the time except he wasn't interacting with JK the way he does all the time, grainy footage or not- I mean let's call a spade a spade and not a big fat spoon. Lol

As to why he was doing that- let's just say there are many schools of thoughts.

My thought as I've said is JM was freezing JK out. I think with anyone that's recognized and is familiar with Jikook fights, that mood is all too familiar as I mentioned earlier.

If JM was being courteous and not mad at his man then he would have kept it 'professional' and done the 'fanservice' bit with Jk as per usual just as this person is saying since the cameras were still rolling.

Jikook is not fanservice. They are real.

I have refrained from providing a detailed analysis of that '5 minutes' footage for reasons I will explain later when I do share my thoughts on that footage- eventually. Some day.

But my hypothesis remains the same that I think Jikook were fighting or had a minor issue. As to why they were fighting, chileee I don't know. The confirmation bias in me feel it had something to do with JM's birthday but honestly it could have been over anything at all- dumplings, microphones- we all saw that slap on stage, a certain Iphone notification perhaps, did JinMin make a secret VLive without Kook again? Lol

There are plethora of reasons, I can only speculate on a few. And I think we've all seen Jimin when he is not 'Jimining' with the others, JK included. Take his mood with Tae at GDA for example- since this is not a VMin post I won't go into it.

But it seems they squashed whatever beef they were having on stage when JM extended his hands to Tae and they shaked it out.

We've seen him and Suga bicker too- which again, I am not gonna to get into out of respect for their shippers but I can point you to the On comeback VLive early this year when Suga touched JM and JM mouthed Hajima to him- which I think had something to do with what was going on with him and JK at the time but that is besides the point. Every shipper for themselves.

I contrast his 'fights' with Suga and V to show you the difference between Jimin being professional and courteous and Jimin being rah rah. He was sat next to suga, talking and laughing with him but snapped the moment Suga held his back.

He did the same in the Dynamite MV Vlive, smiling and laughing with Suga but the moment JK teased him with the Yoonmin comment his countenance fell.

Jimin is not that good of an actor if you ask me. I have said he is very Kumbaya in nature, often makes compromises for the sake of the team but that don't mean he is a pushover or one to trifle with- he scares me when he is mad. Lmho.

The scene in that footage didn't look to me as that he was being nice and courteous to JK- is that y'all's definition of professional courtesy? Damn.

If they were having a lover's squabble then the 'icy' mood of Jikook we saw in that footage is not the general mood of Jikook when the camera's are turned off.

I have to state again that I don't know much of what goes on behind the cameras and most of the things we see sometimes are equally missing context.

That been said we have seen enough of Jikook 'behind cameras' and they are more intimate than we can imagine. A certain cozy selfie at the back of an abandoned truck comes to mind. Whatever they were doing at the back of the track wasn't intended for the cameras judging from JK's reaction.

We've had glimpses of Jikook when they are not the center of attention enough to have a fair idea of what they are when cameras are off and I don't think it is that mood we saw in that footage.

We saw them at Jingle ball bell, towards the end of 2019. We saw them in their own space doing what they do best- making us feel single as fuck. Bless them.

We've seen them at awards, we've seen JK eating Jimin's ear nom nom to calm him down- like I would have just bought him icecream to calm down his nerves or rubbed his back but whatever JK. He is your man; you know him best. Good for him. Good for both of you. Now come back and feed us.

And the bit about JK only laughing with JM when he noticed he was on the Bangtan Bomb cameras in that footage- now that's nasty below the belts phony ass ass! I felt that one straight in my chest, shit. Lol

Dude was in a doghouse it seemed and I noticed them stealing glances at each other and.... sigh.

I just think JK was looking for an opening to warm his way back into JM's good graces- it's really nothing we haven't seen before.... sigh.

This is 2020 that narrative of JK hates Jimin, JK doesn't like JM needs to stop. It's dead. Pack it up. Chileee, y'all tried it with this one.

Jk is nice to JM only when the cameras are on him? Nice try.

JK is so fake and fraudulent he glared RM down till he stepped away from Jimin- again, in the very same photoshoot footage y'all swear to God is proof Jikook is not real.

Find it. RM stood next to JM. Looks up see's something- or someone. Does his tell- the hand to head thingy he does when JK glares at him over Jimin. He backs away inches from JM.

Cut to JK. Dudes a mood. Jin bumps into him, stares at him but JK wouldn't even look at him and then deadass looks away grumpyly- talk of professionalism. You doing great swidy keep going!

You can hide a relationship, fake it on God but you can never hide the intimacy. Taekook just lack that intimacy, I'm sorry. Even in that 'estranged' moment Jikook's intimacy was still there-

Even in whatever mood JK was in- which again, I believe was just due to their lover's squabble- JK still was claiming his man and exercising his right of authority over him. That's how you know they are not broken up. In my opinion. Chileee. I'm gonna get in trouble. Deep sigh.

Y'all think JK was hovering over Jimin because he was preparing to strike him down like a censored censored censored? Yea, he was preparing to strike alright- All the corners of Jimin's heart. Y'all better stop before I find you. Lol

I said I wasn't going to analyze the footage in this post but damn. This man out here serving us all kinds of brooding assorted jeonlous as his man takes a time out or two to wiggle wiggle wiggle on him Malfroy style and y'all are out here peddling nonsense. Strike one.

He was a mood alright. Did y'all see Tae rubbing his chest, arms and legs, ears did y'all see any body else in there doing that for him? Y'all's falcon cannot hear his falconer give it up and sorry, Jikook can't relate.

As I've posited, JM I feel was mad as hell for whatever reason and wasn't in the space to be that person JK needed him to be- in that moment. Doesn't mean they are like that behind scenes all the time.

And before I get attacked again for causing drama, being toxic etc by Jikookers understand that I am just a delusional person shipping these two in a way that makes sense to me. Write me off as delulu, and go please.

Whatever ambiguity surrounds that moment, to me, Jin and RM's reaction to JK clarifies things a bit. Jikook were boiling hot. JK was still keeping an eye on his man. Lol. Bless them. That's my conclusion. I'm running miles with that. Catch me. Lol

Feel free to come up with your own theory in a way that makes sense to you.

I'm not sure how long that fight lasted but from the rain day incident I'm hoping it wasn't that long. Jikook are fine I believe- I hope. Judging from the way JM drew JK out in his VLive with the whole I miss JK comment? Did that not sound familiar to y'all? And that Mickey mouse thingy- JM ain't slick. Bless him.

JM is the perched akekeke whisperer whispering all kinds of things in JK's ear, feeding JK news of what goes on on social media and what not. Dude don told his man they won a BB on his birthday, told his man Jin wasn't happy he chose his bag over his- definitely told his man Army was missing him- what? I'm going with that too sue me. Lol

Did you or did you not see Jk coming out to do a live log afterwards? And JK seemed less grumpy, in very high spirits? Wedding bells- I'm manifesting it for JK. Manifest with me.

Remember when JM did a log and talked nonsense about JK, and JK did a rebuttal log to respond to JM and address some of the things JM had said about him? Remember that? It's a jikook thing and it's back😌

I have said JM uses social media to connect with Army while JK uses it as an outlet to express himself. Through out his Live he kept talking about how he wasn't prepared to do a live and it shows in the way he kept saying it was awkward, he just kept it business and didn't know what else to share... I wonder who put his paws on him, dragged his ass to turn on the camera because Armys had asked of him- a certain quick tempered chick who dragged his man out on social media to do the whole Chuseok greetings 2020 on Twitter perhaps?

And JK is so whipped he'd do just about all the hoops to appease his man- Jikook AU written by Goldy. High five. No but seriously...

Behind the scenes, JK sneaks into JM's bed at night- Taekook does it too? Please! The look on JM's face when RM spilled that tea is enough said.

There's only two people in BTS that panic and don't want us to know they lay one on God in bed and it's not Tae Kook.

JK: Jimin hyung and I will sleep here

JM: how about we let the others choose first

Everyone shares a room:

Footage:🦄🍲🐯🧀🐺🍟🐓🥛🐑🛏

JIKOOK share a room:

Footage: 🚪👀

Behind the cameras Jikook sneak into each others bed- camera caught them live. You saw JM's face, I can't make this shit up. Lol

Behind the scenes, Jikook do laundry at 1am. *insert JM pervy face meme.

Chileee, y'all making me trip with this one. Deep breaths.

Jikook have their moments. This was one of them. Can they be human? Please. Thank you.

At this point, these folks are not even shippers. They is shoppers shopping a man for their bias. Lol. Just admit y'all want Jeon thick thighs strong butt for your bias and go. Just admit you want some tall glass of Tiger charming face husky voice strong chest for your bunny and go. Lmho

Chilee, when we say Tae and Kook had a falling out we don't mean they freeze eachother out behind cameras. Hell, we don't even mean they fake their bond or interactions. C'mon! Tae and JK admitted they are not lovers and y'all is bitter. That's why y'all is making up this nonsense about Jikook. Speak the truth and shame the devil. Peter would be proud.

When we say Tae Kook is not real, We just mean JM spends JK's birthday with him while every one including Tae is out there cruising for Jesus with friends. We just mean Jikook claim eachother even when they beefing. That ship beefed and didn't even know they was beefing and they are real? Damn.

We just mean Jikook make efforts for each other even when they are having bad days- Had it not been for Jimin they'd still be gnashing on these cold streets. Place some respect on his name, y'all's ungrateful. Lol

Tae and JK don't want each other they both want Jimin- there. I said it.

Thanks for attending my Tedtalk. 👁👄👁

Now where was I? Never mind. I'm just gonna go burn some sage. There's too much negativity going on around. Hakuna matata!

There is nothing wrong with Taekook as a ship. Personally, I'm a multishipper I ship all the ships but I support Kookmin. I don't mind their shippers calling them whatever, but my eyes twitch when people who claim they support Jikook act wishy washy with Jikook. Lol. Like are you going to withdraw your support of Kookmin if JK sits on Tae's lap?👀 Yall make me nervous. How can you think Jikook is real but then look at Taekook and go huh??? What are y'all seeing that I can't see?

Like those are two completely different dynamics. It's the skinship isn't it? Talk to me. Jikookers who see something nonplatonic in Taekook honestly give me trust issues. Y'all have me out here looking over my shoulders.

I am delusional but I'm confident in my delusions because to me it is about the love and support for JM and JK as LGBTQ plus couples. Please stop shipping Jikook, stop shopping JK and JM for eachother and start supporting them because they are real.

IN MY OPINION.

Signed,

GOLDY

[itshesdimples]

-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 

I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 

I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 

2 MONTHS AGO

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 

As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.

* 9 MONTHS AGO* 

The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 

"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 

Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 

"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 

"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.

"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 

"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 

The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.

"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.

He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 

"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 

"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 

"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 

For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 

(FLASHBACK)

"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.

"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 

(END OF FLASHBACK) 

Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.

"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 

*7 MONTHS LATER* 

Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 

The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 

You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 

But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 

*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 

Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 

As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 

"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 

You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 

The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 

Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 

"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 

You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 

"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.

"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 

You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 

Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 

Is there a message? 

That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 

"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 

"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 

[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 

Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 

"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 

"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 

You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 

All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 

If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 

Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever. 

[bigscaryyanderewriter]

Frosty Fear and the Fury of Flames (Dragonshifter! Shouto x Reader) Part 3

Part 2 ^

Hahaha, a part 3 for you??? It’s more likely than you’d think. This is actually kinda fun to write in parts, although it takes me a while. I have a few requests waiting to be answered still and that kinda bums me out still. Gonna be getting a lot more of Todoroki though. Haha… I like fire boys. Also, if you can’t tell. I really want to play dnd.

Tw: Yandere, Nightmares, Slight Gore

2.1k Words

“Bakugou, are you sure about this? I mean-” 

“Did I ask for your opinion, Shitty hair? Come on, get that damn wimp ready to go. We’re going to need to get out of here if we are going to get them away from that damn dragon.” The grimace on his face as deeper set than usual as you were forced to pack up with the others yet again.

They were going to abandon their mission, since there were other things they could do. That was what Bakugou told you at least, you had a feeling that none of the jobs in this tavern were worth half as much to the group as the one involving Shouto was. Still, you were grateful that they wanted you to stay and that you could be useful to them.

You couldn’t stop the sinking feeling though as you knew that getting farther away would be good, but also… They had to do something like give up the goal they had been working towards to assist you. 

The morning was still dark, no sun peaked on the horizon as the birds only just began singing their morning songs. The bags were packed and soon you were all ready to go by the time the sky began to lighten. You would be heading east and down the mountains a good ways until you got to the plains, travelling for about two weeks before stopping in another city called White Fields. Something was said about dangerous rock formations that would cause small landslides and magic folk you couldn't talk to. Not much rest would be allowed, wanting to get as far as possible from the mountains and desert. If luck was on their side, they would be out of reach by that point, since Shouto was still unable to travel that far from what you have learned. Something about territory disputes and bad blood.

That was the plan and you were praying to whatever would listen that it would work. 

"Are you ready, (Y/N)? We had better get going." Mina spoke from the doorway of the little room of the inn. Her face showed a bit of concerned and you realized you had been scratching a bit at your arm. You hurriedly covered the scratches and grabbed the sack with your more material belongings, the golden jewelry, things you had taken from the cave. Following her out to the boys, you all got moving as you walked out of town. 

The place where the sun rose was your destination. Going throughout the day. The further day the mountains, the darker the forests and the colder it was. It was a bit misty out with the morning still being new. The winter would hit quickly this year and you could tell. At least it would here. The cold air from last night seemed to be cradled here. Your arm hairs prickled as you all walked. 

It was as you pulled your arms closer to yourself that you heard Denki speaking, "Hey, you look… like you might want this." He pulled off the warm yellow cloak he had worn throughout the time you had seen him and offered to hand it to you.

"Oh- It's nothing. I'll be fine… The sun will warm me up soon enough. You know I'm not a princess though, so you probably shouldn't call me that." You said with a tiny fake smile. "I appreciate the offer though."

"Aw, maybe I shouldn't call you princess then. No princess holds a candle to you anyways! You have to be the product of some goddess of beauty." He laughed as you couldn't stop the heat rushing to your face, "Don't be so shy. I'm just teasing you. Though you do make a cute face when you're embarrassed. Still, you should take it. I'll be fine without it for a minute."

"Kaminari, I swear to all the gods that I will shove so many rocks into your mouth, if you don't stop flirting. You'll be shitting so many rocks that you could put it on a resume." Bakugo was throwing nonsense threats and this just resulted in some laughter as you had never heard a threat more ridiculous. It was like it was written by someone who didn't actually know how to properly threaten people or something. 

Ah yes. That is me. The narrator, who cannot narrate without getting sidetracked. Now, watching you and the group laugh… The tension of impending doom is nowhere to be found as you all walk the beginnings of the mountains' autumnal scenery. The yellow cloak draped on your shoulders as you continued and Denki at your side, chatting idly with you. His presence and the conversation taking the pressure of the situation away. It seemed he was an expert, being a bard. Something told you to be careful though. The stereotype with musicians and their unfaithfulness… 

There was more time to mull over the prospect later, but you also just found him so jolly. It was a real treat. Going through the day, nothing happened. It was painfully boring event-wise, tiring, but you made progress. You had begun to feel uneasy, despite Kaminari distracting. Something was lurking in the forests, in the trees. Everything seemed about as turned around for you as a spinning carnival mirror maze. 

Sero, Kiri, and Mina seemed to have had no problem as you were led by them. The group was much closer together now and the laughter began to cease. Night would come and the wish to leave these mountains was becoming louder within your head. It was eerie.

No one spoke much while the dark branches of nearly black barked pines hung above with their ruddy red leaves. The silver of the wood beneath was visibly upon some broken branches and on the stumps that you would sometimes pass on the thinning path. They looked unpleasantly rough to touch. Small barbs lining the branches and serving as more than a small warning to be careful around them. 

Soon the light would go, so Kiri found a spot around where some trees had fallen and sat up a fire for the night, while you picked up anything on the ground to make it less rocky. It was also handy for you to get more sticks for the fire. These trees burned infamously easy. A single mistake with a fire and it could go up in minutes, but it would burn for a long time. It was not usual for anyone to cut any down due to the inhabitants though and the consequences. You didn't know what they were and you weren't about to try to find out by harming the forest. 

Dinner was easy, still being able to have some good leftovers from the inn. You had to eat them all today, but it was still going to be fuel until the next time you went to eat fresh food, cooked by someone else at least.

Denki couldn't help lightening the mood as he pulled out his stringed instrument and started playing a lovely song… It was familiar, somehow. You struggled to think of what it was called, but you knew the words. It was peaceful and it definitely seemed to help Mina perk up again as she began talking with Sero. Bakugo seemed less irritable as he ate, the music must calm the beast. You couldn't help the smile that came on your face at that thought.

Singing along probably wouldn't keep him calm, but you oh so wanted to… It would be a little embarrassing, but others might join in.

So you did. It was time to have some fun.

You hummed along and started singing, 

"How much is love worth?

Yet, we're giving it for free.

Didn't cost a penny, but

I've gained everything.

I'd do anything to make her smile

My darling

My darling

Darling~

If only she would look out

Of that dreamy little world

She would then see

That while I am no prince

And will make her crazier than me

I would never quit to admit I'm wrong

I'd always get on her nerves,

She would hate the way I eat

And only then it's worse.

I'd complain about her mother

Even though she's quite alright

I won't stop til I see her blush

Red in the dead of night.

An immoral proposition

If not only for a tease

But I have some qualities

that put her mind at ease.

I love her more than the sea does a shore

As the sun does the horizon,

Unafraid to come back home

And get her blood arising 

Kiss her face and hold her hand

I'll never let her go.

I'm lucky that she loves it

Where I'd be without it, who would know

That she likes to feel the spite

That even though I mess around

I'm in her bed tonight 

Of my darling,

My darling

My darling

Darling

Not doing as the birds and bees 

But holding on her hand,

Kissing at her face

And saying things for show

Her pretty crimson blush

Cause when I see it, then I know

That the hand life dealt

Was a royal flush."

Denki sang with you as the others watch, some la's and humming as you got up with a spin. The swirl of your dress and body as you sang out each part with more confidence. Mina laughed when you would dance and Kirishima was keeping the beat.

After a while, the singing stopped and soon the group started to settle in. 

Bakugo took first watch with Kirishima, Sero and Denki. Then Mina and you. Only because of practicality. It was to be in three hour shifts. It was when you laid down on your bed roll and cover yourself with a blanket you had been given. The night would be cold, but the fire was big enough to warm you as you sleep. As soon as you eyes closed, you were out. A day of travelling made you more than ready to sleep. It was a wonderful thing to sleep with good dreams, but you seemed to lack any dreams lately.

Not tonight.

You woke up in an ashen forest. Smoke choked life as blue flames rose in the distance. It snowed. You could hardly distinguish the ash from the snow until it would either burn you or melt on your skin. Getting up was impossible, the burning branch crushed your legs.

The acrid smell of burnt hair and smoke. It stung your eyes as you tried to tears away while coughing. You just couldn't stop coughing. "Please! Please! Denki?! Mina!" 

You were crying and struggling. The wood was too heavy and you could see the blood on the snow. You were bleeding heavily. It hurt. It hurt.

"Somebody help me! Please! I don't want to die." You couldn't stop the tears as you thrashed about. Soon you stopped though. A growl sounding above you. Blue eyes and blackened scales, injuries beyond counting.

El diablo azul. The shivering continued as you looked up, nothing short of full blown trembling as he snorted hot air over you and knocked the branch away. Draconic was spoken to you as you scrambled back from him. It was deep and grumbling, not hissing or growling like the words spoken by Endeavor or Shouto. 

"I don't under- understand. Thank you though…" You couldn't look away from those blue eyes as they seemed to glint with amusement before the great black wings beat against the air. Smoke and snow getting caught up as he was off again and soaring over the burning forest. Lying in the snow though, you wouldn't be able to get up. Maybe he wanted to give you a chance to survive. So you pulled yourself up and began to walk through the blizzard, blood oozing from your thigh and ash caked on your skin. You weren't going to make that help mean nothing.

Though, you were confident. You looked up to see something far worse than the fire ahead. Red and white scales. Shouto was coming for you. 

Blinking your eyes open as you were shaken awake. Sweat coated your body while you panted, "Stop- Stop! Please."

It was as you jolted up, you saw Denki looking with fear at you. His hands had been shaking you awake and scrambled away. Out of breath as you looked around frantically. "Shshshh, You need to be quiet. You're attracting too much attention. You were screaming in your sleep. What in the world were you dreaming about…?"

"Nothing, it was nothing, Denki… Just a bad dream. I um, I'll take the rest of your shift if you want to go back to sleep. I don't think I can…" You murmurred.