#I'd say guess the breed but it's probably obvious

[naturalist-fr]

Can't wait to be done with this one and share it...

[chuuya-qna]

────ᅠFarewellᅠ🎩🥂

Long time no see... Sadly, I've come to say goodbye. I thank all of you for your questions— running this blog was very fun! But I lost motivation to continue, so I debated for a while... and decided to leave it up as an archive (at least for a while, idk if I'll delete it), but ultimately close the curtains.

However ! I wouldn't like the remaining questions to be left unanswered, so I will respond as Chūya to them under the cut of this post. I have no drawings to accompany them, but I wanted to at least answer as a final “thank you” to the people who left them.

Closing this blog leaves a bitter sweet taste in my mouth, but who knows... maybe fate we'll reunite us once more. So... Thank you, to everyone who ever interacted with my Chūya, whether bia questions or just by leaving a like or a repost. I sincerely hope you guys liked my interpretation of him, even if it was short-lived.

For now, I (and him) bow you farewell. May we meet again— somewhere, somehow. And check the answers below the cut if you left any question!

Sincerely yours,

— Mod 🍳 & Chūya.

Left by lacunazai:

“ YOOOOO what's your favourite breed of dog and what do you like in your sandwiches ”

Left by anon:

“ What's your favorite frog breed? ”

🍷:ᅠ...Curious about my taste in dogs, huh? Two people made the same question. * Chuckles *

I like all kinds of dogs, to be honest. But if I had to choose... German shepherds, probably. As for sandwiches, I can eat whatever— but I guess egg sandwiches are the ones I eat most often.

Left by anon:

“ CHU CHU CHU CHU CHU CHUUYA my sweet pookie bear beloved bbg do you think that ohio has enough skibidi rizz to mew the sigma male into submission? ”

🍷:ᅠ...What the fuck did you just say to me? I didn't understand shit about that, but from the words you're saying, I assume you may be below the minimum age to use this app. Tumblr is +13, y'know? Although even if you're above that age, I suggest you just go do your homework or something. Just don't piss me off further with this nonsense.

Left by ⭐:

“ Sharks or dolphins !!!!!!:3333 ”

🍷:ᅠUh, not gonna lie to ya— never cared much about either. But I'd pick sharks, I suppose.

Left by milesgamer:

“ Chuuya, have you forgiven Verlaine for what he did to you? ”

( referencing the Stormbringer novel )

🍷:ᅠ...Yeah. It's hard, but, uh... We started from the same spot, I just got luckier rolls. I could've been in his situation, and he could've been in mine, so... Even if it hurts, even if I get sad or angry thinking 'bout those memories, I... can't find in myself to not forgive him.

...Anyways, who are you? How do you know about what happened?

Left by anon:

“ hey Chuuya? Why did you drop Sigma so many times? (Poor baby didn't deserve it) ”

( referencing events from the manga )

🍷:ᅠTo get him to wake the fuck up, wasn't it obvious? Dropped the guy 15 TIMES and he still continued sleeping like a bear. I'm no sleep genius, but that wasn't a normal nap. Not my problem anymore, though— hope he wakes up eventually or something. Not like I particularly care.

...Wait, how do you know about what happened, anyways!? Pretty sure the only person who saw that was that bas— don't tell me it's you, walking bag of bandages... 💢

Left by anon:

“ (I just got into the anime last month, and I just want to say thank you for coming up with this. I've never been more entertained in my life. Remember to take care of yourself, drink water, and get at least 8 hours of sleep. Please feel free to decline this, I may have missed something reading your guidelines. XD)

Salutations. What's your opinion on music generally? Do you hate any generes and is there a favorite song you like listen to?”

🍷:ᅠI adore music. One of my biggest interests, I'd say. I respect anything that's clearly made with passion, so I guess the only genres I'd hate would be the ones where you can't feel that passion at all. Overly commercialized music clearly catered to the masses only to gain money make my blood boil, specially when you can tell the artist has potential. But at the same time I still get the motivation of getting payed, y'know? But there's ways to still make a good buck without having to sell your soul to whatever trend is popular at the moment.

As for a favorite song... I generally gravitate towards rock and its subgenres. I like J-Rock, but right now I'd say I'm listening to a lot of international rock— been looping Can't Stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers lately, but I wouldn't say I have a favorite song. Not right now, at least. Sorry to disappoint ya.

🍳:ᅠAHHH ANON ☹️💓 it's sad to read such a sweet message just as I'm closing this blog, but I'm glad my Chūya interpretation was able to entertain you! Thank you for the reminders, and I hope you're having a good time getting into BSD. Thank you for sticking by!

Left by trilliumszz:

“ Is it true that ur scared of elevators ”

( referencing a Wan! chapter, I believe )

🍷:ᅠHAAAH? Where did you hear such bullshit? Don't go believing everything you hear about me... No, I'm not scared of elevators. Why would I be? The only good reason to be scared of 'em if it's starts failing, because the floor can break and you'd just fall down...

I-I mean— I wouldn't be scared in that situation either, clearly.

Left by 🫧:

“ Chuuchuu would you rather be stuck in a room with Dazai or be crushed by a meteorite ”

🍷:ᅠMeteorite, clearly. Is there even any doubt about it? Ah, and don't you dare call me by that stupid nickname ever again. 💢

Anyways, that was the last question. Some of you were annoying little fucks, but I enjoyed my time here with y'all. Thank you for leaving questions. C'ya someday, I suppose. * Tips hat *

──── That's all, folks! Thank you for sticking by right up to the end. Hope we meet somewhere else, and I'm sorry for not answering these asks with drawings... But I hope you enjoy Chūya's answered nonetheless! If you wish to see more of my stuff, you can find me at @onelastorm .

[ranticore]

Not to stoke the flames, but I'd love to hear your extended take on FR's issues (as a fellow formerly actively player) if that isn't too much of a problem- I've been feeling the same about the site these days but you'd probably word it far more eloquently :(

Gene bloat on the marketplace, scryer, and auction house is an obvious response but really I hate the blatant cashgrab of it all. For any customisation of an ancient breed at all, you will need a skin or accent. I would hazard a guess and say that skin blueprints are the biggest driver of gem sales on the site. But all skins are user generated content - ergo all real currency that people sink into customising their dragons is going to staff and not the artists of the skins. it's pushing staff's inability to draw apparel (in the DRAGON DRESS UP GAME) onto the users and making profit from it. Last year there were something like 3 ancient releases. They push them through in huge volume, creating more issues with bloat, while the new real dragon breed is likely not going to arrive until 2030 if ever because they make more money from ancients.

Also the designs of many are lazy and not nearly as out there as we were led to believe. The newest ones are just... regular dragons, as are sandsurges etc. Overall I find that there's an evident lack of real planning at flight rising dot com, and staff just kinda making shit up as they go.

[xxkylarthelonerxx]

hiiiii kylar! guess who has another degenerate manga for you??? it has a rlly cute art style AND it has a good storyline! i think you'll really appreciate this one :D

https://mangatoto.com/title/114881-the-sacrificial-maiden-corrupted-by-coupling-with-an-oni/2111695-ch_1

(clickable link)

... trying to rile me up again? what a naughty anon... but hentai manga always gives me such great ideas on my future with my love, so i always appreciate it.

i guess i'll put some thoughts this inspired here, for my love to see later... <3

while my darling is around the same age as me, imagining them coming to rely on me like the protagonist does on the love interest of the story is something incredible... i just want them to stay safe with me! if i send this to them, maybe they would understand even better what i'm talking about. you just can't trust others!

the dynamic between the two main characters at the start sort of reminds me of how my darling initially thought we were just friends. maybe they didn't know that i liked them back, or were too shy to show it? i had to start calling them my partner and being more obvious about sneaking into their room and borrowing their underwear for them to finally notice... they got so shy when i started touching them more, saying that it felt a bit too close for just a friendly touch... of course i told them it was fine, since we were lovers by that point already, even without an official confession! ... maybe it's a kink of theirs? i don't know, but their reactions are always just so cute. <3

but thinking about the manga more... i want our sex to be more like that, in the future. i want to tell them that i'll be so gentle taking them raw for the first time, only to lose control and fuck them hard. i want them to beg for me to slow down, to stop. only because they're afraid of how much they need me...

i want to tell them that i'll give them one more orgasm... and then continue making them cum over and over until they pass out, and using their body and breeding them while they're still unconscious! so that they feel so happy and full once they awake..!!

and i want my love to tell me they want me to finally, officially make them mine by cumming inside.

i wish i had as much power over my love as the oni does over the mc. like i said with the mating manga from before, i could probably achieve similar results with aphrodisiacs... but now that i'm thinking about it, i might need their muscles to be more relaxed too, so they can't fight against me, just in case they refuse my help with their pent-up lust. maybe altering my tranquilizers to have a lower dosage with a longer effect might work. not that they don't want me to ravage them, but they just get hesitant sometimes...

although, i like that they think that i'm weak sometimes, just because it makes it all the more exciting when i do get to overpower them, (even if it takes more planning)! it would just be so fun to manhandle them like the love interest does with the protagonist! feel their squishy body under my fingers as i pull them further onto me...

so i'll keep planning. i'd prefer to have them movable and on my bed, but i'll tie them up in a chair if i have to, to get them to finally let me breed them.

[yatorihell]

Noragami Reread Volume 14-17

Heaven arc in full swing and a lot of foreshadowing

Vol 14

52

'The world he sent her back to' final chapter line?????

Yato reaction to not knowing Hiyori's birthday, it's probably not something that would cross his mind since birth isn't a thing in his world

We never actually see what Yato does for her birthday party????

Kazuma forshadowing his betrayal to Yukine

Ebisu could've just called Kunimi when he got lost lol not a single thought in that head

Bishamon refusing to release Tsuguha is so stupid it's the only way to save her

'If I could just stay with Hiyori and Yukine that would be fine by me' hnnnn

God's exist for people vs Yato saving Hiyori at his own expense

People can only be truly saved by other people vs hospital arc vs recent chapter I hate this manga

Yukine sending Hiyori letters and Yato eating them

53

Just a fun little chapter, bit of Kazubisha and finding out the artist is actually Hiyori's brother at the end

54

Yato showing up to Masaomi and bynpinf into Hiyori after avoiding her for 2 months

'Just friends?' Yato what did you expect

For grandma Iki it's on sight she knows bad vibes when she sees them

Wonder if the Iki family can be like Father's lifeline for Yato

'Even one so immaculate and become bewitched by evil' Yukine downfall forshadowing

Grandma Iki asking will you protect my grandchildren vs recent chapter I hate life

'You've been my god of fortune for a long time' I'm so sad Adachitoka you make me so sad

55

Nora warning Yukine about Kazuma lol

Tsuguha breaking and that whole aftermath was... yeah

Saku suppressed his names with a spell but he's still out if it tbh

Kazuma be like lol I might be indebted to Yato but I'll still betray you

Vol 15

56

Time for Heaven arc

Yukine tells them Kazuma has betrayed them

Bishamon crying over surviving her shinki like babe she could've survived too if you released her

8 millions gods? Stop breeding

'I exist only for Viinas sake' get you a man who loves you this much

Yukine starting to have dreams about his past hnnnnnn

It must've been a ballache to draw the robes in heavens arc rip Adachitoka

57

It was a different shinki who got Ebisu, I wonder what form they take

Yato unsure of joining Heaven after Ebisu's death

Yato talks of defying heaven lol not foreshadowing at all

Then immediately asskissing to keep his god status

'I'd rather be a piece of shit' you are <3

Yato and Hiyori encouraging reconciliation between Yukine and Kazuma

Yato inviting Hiyori to heavens party

Tenjin didn't choose human guidepost because he knows they can betray you

Bishamon pissed Kazuma used resound on Yukine

Where's Suzuha's grave hmm I guess the cherry tree is it tbf since they visit it

Wish we saw more Bishamon and Hiyori

Yato as an obvious wolf in sheep's clothing

'To be blessed is to be buried' Yukine took it seriously

Foreshadowing of a god possessing a hafuri going rogue

58

I think this was the first chapter that released once I caught up with the manga

Everyone's so cute in their formal gowns, I like how Yukine's is blue and Hiyori's is probably red

Takemika being a little bitch to Ebisu

Popularity contest of the Gods and Stationmaster Tama appearing was such a nice touch

Matchmaking ceremony

Yato face when Kofuku says Hiyori's soulmate hsnbd

Yama is with her soulmate already that's cute

Hiyori literally watching her future being decided for her

It's so funny that all the soulmates are just like Yato

Oh Kofuku why did you tie it do you know what happened I'm so sad

Kiun vs Yukine

Hafuri sealed away foreshadowing

Takemika fight foreshadowing

Obtaining a hafuri requires an enemy which is why Takemika is so eager for a chance to fight

Bishamon gone missing and then it's like 2 years of stress

59

Hiyori wondering what it means that Kofuku tied thier plaques hhaaaaaa

Emishi bear god is so cute he won't kill you

Adachitoka working native gods in and their subdued nature with heaven, being happy to just live on their own land, being cultivated from reincarnation to make sure they don't defy again

After everything when asked his nature Yato still thinks of why he was born

Hafuri mono lore

Oh Kiun is so small circling Takemika in his little dragon form

Takemika needs to fuck off a bit no wonder you don't have a hafuri with that attitude

Yes Takemika you are pathetic whining for a hafuri

Oh no he's getting horny just thinking about getting a hafuri

Bishamon promising Heavens head to the hafuri

Marilyn Monroe moment for Bishamon I really love that dress

Shikki is such a look, our Batmon

Vol 16

60

Once again the serve on this outfit? Deadly

One year since they all met and it's Yukine's birthday (I'm ignoring what's about to happen)

Hiyori prayer to all be friends again hnn

Bishamon knowing how to track the Sorcerer from eye contact

Quick Father flashback, it's funnier knowing that he caused her death by driving her away

Heaven shows up so quick compared to the final arc lol

61

High treason declared against Bishamon

Ebisu trying to veto the subjugation order

Kofuku dead

Wonder what the other 7 unpardonable crimes are

Nora playing up to yukine to make sure Bishamon dies

Why did they change my balls are tingling

Ysto soft spot for Bishamon

Yukine having 50 aneurysms about yato revealing himself

62

Yatobisha dreams crushed they don't want a happing ending together

Yato can't reincarnate? Father stop gaslighting

Hiyori coming in with the steel chair on Father go girl

This is the most battle intensive we've been since like yomi

63

Hiyori showing up and fixing Yato's arm

Yato not abandoning Bishamon and wanting to live her innocence

Yukine crying because he wants to keep Yato safe

Vol 17

64

Kazuma offering to take Bishamon’s place for execution

Yato really is such a good fighter

'You aren't capable of truly loving people' Kazuma is self aware Bishamon doesn't feel that way (or does she)

'I will see him again' oh we didn't believe this for so long it took like 7 years

'He'll realise that he can't save anyone' vs recent chapter

65

Child Bishamon being punished by Father

Kazuma spell to help Yato and he's not even made up with Yukine yet

Bishamon god of calamity image

The Reveal that Nora knew her past already had us so shook

Nana past revealed and she was able to overcome it gave us so much hope for Yukine

Kazuma really thinks highly of himself lol of course they don't want a shinki to die instead of the traitor

66

Takemika being banned from lightning ad a child because of his nature

Mad how Takemika died from like a thousands cuts since the shinki slashed him to death along with the ayakashi

Takemika hiding his lightning and Kiun does it for him, they're such a good match

Yato Sekki bondage

Kiun puts himself in harm to make Takemika act and it works (not instantly)

Oh go crazy Takemika

67

What a form Takemika let him be a dragon

Yato shielding Sekki from the lightning because he's breaking a little

Once again the art is insane this entire arc

'I can't let Yato die no matter what' vs recent chapter

DO YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME

I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROTECT YOU

Kazuma is such a psycho I want one

Damn kazuma stayed in human form for 5 years never being called

Bishamon asking for a pet name

Kiun stuck on the shinki are objects for the god narrative

Takemika got that female rage go girl

God remember when he cut Yato's neck and we freaked this actually reminds me of Yato and father

'But mine will always be on my side'

That line up of Yukine's eyes with Yato's face

Splitting the dragon in half

Kiun bowing and allowing Takemika to be who he is

[fma03envy]

For the ask game, I’d like to put in Celestia Ludenburg or Dante from 2003

Celeste:

Favorite thing about them: Her polite passive aggressiveness is so fun. Whenever Byakuya's being pretentious her responses are always amusing

Least favorite thing about them: What I wouldn't give for her to have survived

Favorite line: "Perhaps we'll meet again, in another life"

brOTP: Ik we've never seen them interact but she'd probably get along well with Gundham

OTP: I feel like Celeste and Chihiro would be cute?

nOTP: Hifumi (a lot of their interactions just seemed to highlight how fatphobic the writers are about Hifumi)

Random headcanon: She'd never admit this and instead claims he's some fancy rare breed, but Grand Bois Chéri Ludenberg was originally a stray that she felt sorry for and decided to adopt

Unpopular opinion: I'd say fans often overstate her writing issues in case 3 when claiming she was too obvious a killer? But admittedly I'm coming from a perspective of not having guessed it was her so

Song i associate with them: Mad IQs or Modern Day Cain, both by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

favorite picture of them: I just really like the closing argument art style; also this reminds me of a greeting card in a cool way

Dante:

Favorite thing about them: I like how her premise is "skilled alchemist chasing the philosopher's stone to return herself to lost health" because it draws an interesting parallel to Edward

Least favorite thing about them: Basically everything she's ever done

Favorite line: "It's a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all so beautiful" (sidenote I googled this to make sure I wasn't misremembering and found a lot of aesthetic edits crediting it as though it was an irl quote said by Arakawa, which amused me)

brOTP: Wouldn't really be applicable to her

OTP: N/A again ig

nOTP: Edward

Random headcanon: If she had never met Lyra, she would've instead tried to use Izumi as her next vessel

Unpopular opinion: Eh, I feel like I mostly agree with the sentiment fans have about her (interesting for the narrative, awful person)

Song i associate with them: First, I adore her canon theme and feel it's definitely a high point of 03's soundtrack. Besides that though, Jubyphonic's English cover of Ghost Rule (both for the lyrics and bc the music video's setting reminds me of her abandoned theatre, especially during the gold parts)

Favorite picture of them: I like this poster I own that includes her

[grison-in-space]

because I'm one of those terrible monsters who likes to probe Rules...

query: what do you do about breeds that have been used for multiple jobs but not all jobs? say airedales, for example, which have a history being used as vermin dogs, hounds, personal protection/police/military work, etc--but no one has much used airedales for herding (outside the context of inclusion in wider programs like idaho shags, I guess, but you feel me). you've got rottweilers for draught, herding, and guarding, but not hunting to my knowledge. you've got curs for herding, houndy-type work, but not draught. is that still all utility? two or more historical functions?

dalmatians are also pretty straightforwardly guard dogs, I'd put them in the guarding group. especially if you're lumping property guarding breeds and LGDs together. they're big guardy pointers aimed at guarding mobile property.

what about herding dogs that have both herding and other "farm" functions? say, English Shepherds, which are promoted as a small LGD in some places; common north American farming practice is often to keep the local herd dog loose at night to wander around, kill vermin, and deter any obvious predators, with the stock corralled out of the dog's access. there's a wide sliding scale on that. where does that go?

newfie function is actually more multifaceted than that; the dual landrace they came from also spawned the Labrador and included a lot of stuff like hauling fishing nets around. but they also hit a wave of very popular companion and "nursemaidy" popularity in the Victorian era that had them being kept and bred for essentially "big, loyal, friendly dog" really fast. (likewise, St Bernards were a particular sub population of more general swiss and continental european working dogs which were later elaborated significantly in size, and which would also have been used for draught work.) is that enough to merit inclusion in utility? companion dogs aren't always preferentially small; there has absolutely been a historical and current niche for large companion dogs in the past two hundred years, often with considerable mythology surrounding them.

I don't actually see so much to criticize about the framework as more, places to worry at. I'd probably drop a working group entirely and replace with mushing or freight, and expect the utility group to be a particularly large one. but I do think it's kind of wonderful thinking about all the historical and cultural niches people have made for dogs, which both the dogs and the human cultures have shifted around to create a good strain/cultural fit.

today’s i think i shall cause crimes on tumblr thought: redesigning kennel club breed groups.

there’s some problems, okay? there’s some dogs who are just blatantly in the wrong group (dachshunds) and there are some groups which are just a catch-all for “jobs that we didn’t consider REAL jobs because kennel clubs were designed by racist victorians”, and the idea that the toy group and whichever medium-size-companion dog group (non-sporting/utility) should be separated because of an arbitrary size line (ignoring that coton-de-tulear are non-sporting in AKC but toy in KC, meanwhile shih tzu are utility in KC and toy in AKC)

so here’s my proposal: let’s go back to breed purpose. all the way.

terrier and hound groups can remain as is, but put dachshunds in the terriers where they belong, and remove airedales entirely. terriers are defined as dogs who go to ground after vermin, and hounds track and either catch or hold prey.

keep the KC’s gundog group. put poodles and kooikerhondje and other…gun…dogs in there. gundogs are retrievers, pointers, setters, tollers, and spaniels. dogs who were and are used to hunt game accompanying humans with guns. nearly

keep the AKC’s herding group, as long as it’s herding dogs. LGDs go elsewhere.

LGDs and other dogs whose main or entire purpose is guarding things (people, animals, property) go into a new guarding group. this includes dobermans, chows, mastiffs, BRTs, boxers, etc.

utility group can remain but is no longer a catch-all. instead these are dogs who were used for any and all jobs: hunting, herding, drafting, carting, guarding, etc. this includes rottweilers, airedales, schnauzers, swedish lapphund, american bulldogs, etc.

new companion group for any breed whose originating purpose was companionship. this is not size dependent and the toy group is abolished.

finally working group is the rummage bin group for dogs with jobs but there’s not enough for a full group. sled dogs arguably go here (maybe there are enough for a carting/freighting group?), as do newfies & st bernards (rescue dogs) and dalmatians.

this would be the best place for dog fighting dogs like APBTs and japanese tosa. american bullies go in companion group. staffies and amstaffs can remain in terrier.

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

I hate you more.

steve harrington x female reader.

just because ive been obsessed with steve over the past week or more.

content warnings/info: enemies to lovers, SMUT!, hate sex, degradation, slight praise, "baby", "i hate you", after care, femdom at the beginning, slight breeding, slight angst I guess, a lot of kissing.

I'm in my living room, cleaning up as the room was just a complete mess. My entire house was wrecked. I'd been too busy and too stressed to clean up.

And today was my day off, I would finally be alone and I could clean up and-

knock, knock, knock..

I groan. "Come in! The door's unlocked." I yell out, quite aggravated as I assume it's my landlord.

I continue to clean up the clothes off the floor, not bothering to look up. "Listen, I know it's a mess but please.. I've been so stressed.." I drown out as I look up to see Steve Harrington standing in all his pride in my home.

"Harrington, I really don't want to deal with your shit today, it's my day off and I need to clean if that wasn't obvious." I sigh, continuing to clean.

"Yeah? I couldn't tell." He chuckles before I scoff.

"If you don't need anything can you get out?" I begin to shout, stopping cleaning to attent myself to him.

"You know that landlord is supposed to come today, right?" He asks, placing himself on my couch.

I roll my eyes. "Why are you sitting down?- no, nevermind that, why are you even here?"

"I must've forgot. You know what, I blame your messy house." He stands up, examining the house, walking around down the hallway himself.

"Then leave. Or help me clean, make yourself useful." I finish cleaning up the clothes off the ground.

"Why would I do either of those? That's so boring." He chuckles, walking in front of my couch again.

"Because it's my day off!" I shout pushing him onto the couch. "So.. either you are going to help me or get the hell out!" I point to the door, not realizing that I'm on top of him.

"Is this what you meant by help you out?" He scoffs.

When I try to get off he pulls me back towards him.

"Awe. You look so ugly up there." He smirks.

"You look uglier down there." I lean down to his face smiling.

I feel hot breath fanning against my face when I bring my face into his, aggressively bullying my mouth against his.

"Mm- yeah? Wanna- do it- mm- like this?" He says inbetween kisses when I find the opportunity to put my tongue into his mouth.

I grind against him as he sits up, moaning into the kiss.

We break apart, I get off of him, knees to the ground as I begin to unbuckle his pants.

"Straight for the dick, huh? You really are a little slut." He insults, moving his hips up so I can pull his pants down.

"It's probably small." I mewl, looking up at him before his cock springs upwards towards his stomach.

Saliva collects in my mouth at his size.

"For something so small, you sure are speechless." He chuckles.

"Shut up. Even I expected more." I say as I wrap my hands around his cock, pumping it hard.

He moans into my touch when I lick the tip.

"Ughh- god-"

"What? You like that, don't you?" I say, taking my hands off of his cock.

"Fuck- yes! Why would you stop?" He sits up, attempting to grab my hand when I pull it away.

"Then beg for me." I smirk, now feeling dominant.

"Please, ugh. You're always actin' like such a bi-"

"Doesn't sound like you want it." I look up at him.

"Ugh- please y/n.. please please- god- please keep touching me. Fuck I'm so hard." He groans as I bring my hands back to his cock, pumping him softer than before.

"Yeah? You just love when I pump your cock like this don't you?" I say getting more aggressive. "Bet you want me to suck it too, don't you?" I look up to see him nod and bite his lower lip, moaning pretty high-pitched whimpers.

I lick up his shaft before taking his tip into my mouth, bobbing my head on half his length.

I snake a hand down into my pants to rub my puffy clit, needing for friction.

He moans at the sight.

He sits up and pulls me onto the couch effortlessly.

"You had your fun.. touching.. teasing.. licking. It's my turn now." He says lifting my shirt up over my head.

I bite my bottom lip and giggle at his expression he made when he realized I wasn't wearing a bra.

I take my hands up to play with them as he watches, in the mean time taking off my pants.

He removes his own shirt before I lay back against the couch, playing with my clit.

He shoo's my hand away, inserting his middle finger into my wet hole.

I grind against his hands as his thumb rubs circles on my clit.

He begins to go faster and harder, inserting his ring finger.

"Fuck- Steve!" I call out.

"Oh baby, say my name." He grins and groans pushing into me lucidly.

"D-don't- mm.. call me that." I moan, tusking at his hair.

"Mm- what you don't like that? Or is it because it's me?" He pulls his fingers out of me and I whimper at the loss of contact.

He brings his cock to my entrance, rubbing the tip along my folds covering it in my slick. He slides into me and I bring my lips to his, moaning into the kiss.

"God, I hate you." I say between wet sloppy kisses as he fucks into me, hitting a deep spongy part each time he thrusts.

"I hate you more." He says as we kiss messily.

"Doubt it- ah!" I moan, my chest puffs up towards him.

He leans up away from me, grabbing my thighs, prying them apart when I bite my lip at the sight.

He humps into me as I grind back.

"Fucker- gonna make me- ugh- cum.." I make grabby hands at his shoulders as he leans down.

I kiss him again, scratching at his shoulders assuring red scratch marks to be there.

"Mm.. gonna cum f'me baby?" He says ending our pretty kiss.

My pussy tightens at him calling me baby. The way he says it ignites something in me that I no longer think is hate.

"Oh- I thought you- fuck- didn't like when I called you baby?"

"I hate it.." I pull him down to kiss me, muffling my orgasm.

I scratch at his back. "I'm gonna- cum.." I whisper to him.

"Mhmmhm." He chuckles in a groan. "Me too." He whispers back, moving a piece of hair out of my face before kissing me again.

I giggle into the kiss and I can feel him smile against my lips.

I pull him off me by his shoulders.

"Come on baby, cum with me.."

I bite my lip and grind into him, reaching my high, I snake my hands down to rub my clit.

"Ughh.. please Steve. Feel s-so good n' so deep.." My tits are bouncing up and down.

"C-cummin'!" Steve shouts out to warn me as we both cum together, him inside of me.

The room falls silent besides our heavy breathing mixing together.

"Fuck." He breathes out in a chuckle.

I giggle looking into his eyes when they lock.

But neither of us pull away.

"God, Harrington.. oh my god!" I push his shoulders up, his erect that slightly softened inside of me painfully slipping out.

"Ow, ow, ow.." I suck breath in from the pain.

"What? Are you okay?" He says softly, grabbing my shoulders.

"I'm fine.. but.. what- we just.." I put a hand to my head before looking at him, who's smiling.

He places a kiss to my forehead.

"Aw, baby. You regret it, so soon?" He kisses my lips softly before pulling away, I find my lips chasing his.

He uses a finger to reject my lips.

"Come're, baby." He pulls me to lay down on the couch with him, I cuddle into him.

"I'll never get out of this.." My sigh turns into a chuckle. "Not to mention my house is still messy. And I don't know why you're here."

"What? You don't love me?" He winks at me.

I kiss his lips softly.

"I hate you." I smile, feeling down his chest, kissing his neck.

I look up at him and bite my lip.

"Oh baby, I hate you more."

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hello Slug! I hope you're doing well 🌻 Since I ship Samatoki and Jyuto I've always wondered about this one line in Bayside Smoking Blues which is "非常線を張り追いかける赤い目ライト". I don't know jp so I read a lot of fan tls. This line in particular is tld quite differently depending on the person. I'd love to hear your take on it, if you're fine with it of course. If it really is about Samatoki's eyes I'm going to go 🐒 Thank you!

This is a super interesting question. Thanks! Before we take a look at this line itself, let's talk theory for a minute. Song lyrics and poetry often present a unique challenge with atypical grammar and figurative language. As translators read the original line in the source text, they form their own interpretations of what this figurative language means, but when it comes time to write this in the target text, they're faced with a conundrum. Should they try to push their interpretation, or should they leave the translation more open-ended for the audience to form their own interpretations? (And, in that latter case, does the audience have enough information to inform interpretations that the author was likely to have intended? Does the author's intent even matter?) Then, the translator also has to consider other factors like the purpose and style of their overall translation. Does it have to rhyme? Should it have rhythm? My take on a line would be affected by all these questions, but since the purpose of this particular translation seems to be sharing what I think this figurative language means, let's go with that! Let's start by giving you the opportunity to interpret the source text in more or less the same fashion I'm receiving it in. Fairly literally, this line reads as:

Throwing up a cordon, red eye lights in pursuit

Like I mentioned up above, song lyrics use irregular grammar which I often find challenging to parse, being a non-native speaker. With that being said, it is my understanding that the "red eye light[s]" is one term that is pursuing something else. Likewise, it makes the most sense to me to understand the cordon part as a separate thought. Right off the bat, my first impression is that it sounds very cop-ish, as if Juuto is saying, "Let's put up a cordon and then follow [criminals, I guess] with the flashing red lights on our cop cars." However, that "red eye" part is peculiar. I can see why people are assuming this relates to Samatoki. It's time to do some digging. I Googled and DuckDuckGo'ed that, since I've never heard that turn of phrase before, and it looks like it's unique to Hypmic. I also couldn't find any similar phrases close enough to indicate that there's a pun, wordplay, or reference going on, although it's always completely possible something slipped my radar. In situations like this, where Hypmic makes something up and I'm not sure what to think about it, I go to look and see what the Japanese fans have to say. It's not that they're necessarily more right than any other set of fans, but they have the obvious advantage of being the target audience and not having a language barrier. I looked up "赤い目ライト" on Twitter and found that there's not a consensus on this in the Japanese fandom either. A few people have gone your route and suggested that it refers to Samatoki, but more people think it refers to the lights on a cop car. Interestingly, though, one other explanation appears with great frequency - it's a sign of his rabbit-ness. ... What? Apparently (I did not know this until I looked into it), there exist several Japanese breeds of white rabbits with red eyes so much that the general population associates rabbits with that image. (There are, of course, rabbits with other eye colors too, but they're not cultural icons. Think of the idea of rabbits eating carrots. Sure, rabbits eat lots of vegetables in real life, but we associate rabbits and carrots anyway.) Considering that last bit, my final takeaway from this line is that it's probably supposed to be talking about his police work but with a fun rabbit twist. However, figurative language can be interpreted in lots of ways! If you want to think of it as Samatoki, then you have every right to do so. This was a ton of fun to look into, so thanks for the ask!

[pixystixxxdraws]

Tremelliare Disappearance — Research Document #1

Since it's difficult to find concrete information on the Tremelliare family, given their nature, I've opted to compile documentation of the information I've gathered.

For the safety of me, my students, and my imprison—sister, these will never be published and are purely for keeping my investigation in order. If anyone has stolen these documents from their hiding space, I have them under a tracking spell, so I'll be coming to take them within the next few days with backup. Please don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be.

Right, now onto the information.

To begin, it's best to understand the power this family holds. Frankly, it's downright terrifying, and a failure of mage society to not look into where they're getting their money from. For a society of "scholars", they did a piss poor job of exploring something the history of a family like this.

I've estimated it reaches back at least 1,000 years. While I can't say the full details of their magecraft yet, it's clearly a different breed from modern methods I've observed. I have yet to fully grasp the true "core" of their magecraft, but my best guess is they probably draw from Abrahamic religions, leaning on Christianity.

However, while this may be common knowledge, I'd be a sham if I ignored their dedication to the concept of "womanhood". Narrowing our scope to the aforementioned Abrahamic religions, it's clear why they've taken an interest in "motherhood", as well as tying into their 'family motto'. Considering "mothers" are heavily tied to fertility and childbearing, it's safe to say some may consider mothers miracle workers as they're the primary carriers of children. Which is why their most obvious idol to draw magecraft from is the Virgin Mary herself, which would intrinsically tie them to Catholicism.

And I can't help but remember the way she always had a rosary tied to her dress...

Now you may be asking how I would know this, as that bastard and I rarely do business. That's because in my research, I've discovered that the Tremelliares have branch families who's status they have hidden for the sake of privacy. If one looks close enough, they can see some similarities between their magecraft, but because not all of these families are fully integrated into the Clock Tower or even mage society, I can't fault people for not connecting the dots. These families are ██████, the █████████, and the ███████.

These are only the ones I can concretely ascertain for now, and unfortunately this is the extent of the information I have on them.

As for returning to the point of this documentation...I can only recount the information publicly.

I saw her for the last time five years ago, and two years ago Argent told me she was dead.

This research has been taxing, as I can't dedicate enough time to this endeavor. Between fulfilling my duty as a Lord and keeping up with my students, I can only document what I've noticed on my cases and what little free time I have.

This is all I can offer for now. If she saw me now, I wonder if she'd be disappointed in me for not living up to that "potential" she saw in me. But if what Argent told me was true, that was all a sham anyways...

[kata4a]

what's a kink or roleplay scene you would really like to talk about but haven't been asked about yet?

no one's really called me out on this yet but I've actually not been doing a great job of clearly delineating the boundary between kms that I answer as if they were a fantasy and kms that I answer as if they were irl scenes

which like I'd been treating as if it's contextually obvious, like, of course I don't actually want to be permanently modified into an agentless breeding cow, that's clearly a fantasy

but thinking about it more, "things which are obviously fantasies bc they'd be insane irl" is not the only category for which it's worth making this distinction

like there are also a bunch of things which feel "boring" in the context of a fantasy but I really enjoy actually doing. lbeing given really simple commands, for example, like "sit," "stand," w/e, is something which when thinking about abstractly I'm like "yeah I guess that's hot" but when it actually happens to me it can hit hard enough to put me into basically a fugue state. (similarly: a lot of ageplay)

or there's some verbal dynamics which I can suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy the fiction of but come across as affected or insincere when people actually say them to me; or which read as saccharine and precious in fiction but feel really warm and comforting in person. (honestly I could probably write an entire other post on my feelings about dirty talk in general. hell I think there's even an ask in my backlog I could use as a springboard)

I don't think that's a remotely exhaustive presentation of this idea, but I doubt I can be exhaustive in a single post since it's (clearly?) something with a lot of variation across specific kinks and fantasies

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 11 "Black Friday"

"Be careful. I'd really like to kiss you again."

"I'm saving my energy for Black Friday doorbusters tomorrow morning."

"How about you do the honors?"

"Oh, the holidays. That festive time of year where everyone's decked out in their Christmas finest."

"The season of joy and love and presents begins when the clock strikes midnight."

"I thought you got all your clothing hand-delivered by A-list designers."

"Black Friday is about buying deliberately cheap, totally forgettable Christmas gifts for friends. The obvious cheapness of the gift makes them question our friendship and makes them way easier to manipulate as they try desperately to get back on my good side."

"Is this black toilet paper?"

"Amazing. A pair of mink albino boy shorts."

"I bribe the dude who deals weed off the loading dock to let me in a half hour early."

"Torturing these soulless manatees of senseless consumerism brings me so much joy. And isn't joy what the holiday season's all about?"

'At first I was like, "What a weird turkey." And then it clicked. Like... "Damn, that's a head."

"When you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me."

"I am gonna take this opportunity to be the strong parental influence you have never had."

"You are gonna march over to that sofa right now and you're gonna sit down because you are in a time out."

"I'm sorry. Did you just put me on a time out? You do realize I'm not seven, right?"

"Well, behold how badly you've failed."

"I think it's pretty safe to assume that your career is over."

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to the mall to exercise our patriotic right to join hundreds of thousands of our fellow out-of-breath Americans in sweatpants as they make frenzied, ill-thought-out purchases of cheap, crappy garbage they can't afford and don't need. To deny us of that right would be un-American."

"Let's go, sluts."

"I want to know what I'm being charged with."

"You drove your pickup truck through the front window of a Best Buy."

"You killed or maimed people. Let's go."

"Sounds awful, but I'd keep that to yourself."

"You're not really helping yourself."

"Most of the uniformed cops out there are working on a volunteer basis because they get backed up inside if they don't crack a few skulls every day."

"There's a killer on the loose and you're telling us this town has no police force?"

"I don't understand why you have to get us the crappiest gifts possible and then make sure we know about it beforehand just to ruin the surprise."

"I mean, that's like bringing pineapples to Hawaii."

"So would you feel the need to waste $13,000 buying me something I already have?"

"Maybe instead of using my disgusting wealth to buy my friends crap, I should use my disgusting wealth to buy my friends things they would actually enjoy."

"The mall is deserted."

"Oh, go on and shoot me, hag. It'll just make me young and skinny forever and you'll still be old. Come on, finish me off, you shriveled, old crone!"

"First day on the job and I caught a killer."

"Wait, you have a gun?"

"Damn! Why didn't I shoot him when I had the chance?"

"How's your crossbow wound?"

"The arrow missed all major arteries, and I'm currently rolling on some sweet painkillers."

"What exactly are you proposing?"

"I've always had this vision of a band of sisters who stand together like an impenetrable community of shields who kept everyone safe and secure."

"Sometimes, instead of shields, we need swords."

"No one is going to help us."

"No one is going to stop this until we are all dead."

"Well, I'm sorry, but she is a vindictive, amoral woman who no one is gonna miss."

"I say we poison her."

"Did you ever do it in my bed?"

"So you were gay lovers?"

"No, we were not gay lovers."

"I'm an investigative journalist."

"Well, you know, I really love the idea of a bunch of guys from different backgrounds getting together and forming a brotherhood for life."

"Have you ever been to a driving range?"

"What sort of ab regimen are you rocking, bro?"

"I guess the fact that you and I cannot stand one another is finally out in the open."

"Name your weapon."

"So pick your weapon. You can choose sabres, guns, baseball bats, small pebbles, spoons, doesn't matter to me. What does matter, is that we will fight, and we will fight to the death."

"Well, I am sorry that took so long, but, you know, a watched pot never boils."

"Being a millennial feminist means growing up listening to Taylor Swift say she doesn't like to think of the world as boys versus girls."

"That's not what feminism was about."

"How come all the pictures on the wall are selfies?"

"Oh, it smells amazing."

"Where did you get puffer fish venom?"

"I want to be there when she dies."

"That's bliss!"

"Is it nutmeg?"

"I am like a soldier at war. I am killing to stop more killing. It's totally justified."

"But what about moral law?"

"Oh, that would be hard for you?"

"I don't "rage" on Tuesday nights or have competitions about how many girls I can have sex with in one day."

"What I'm trying to say is guys join fraternities to get a sense of structure in their lives. Problem is the structure

they're buying into is antiquated. It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"I don't think I'm in the right headspace right now."

"You're a rare breed, one of the true good guys."

"That's the weirdest explanation for anything I've ever heard."

"We need to think of new ways to kill her!"

"I'm really gonna cherish our time here together."

"Killing is wrong, but, under this circumstance, I don't know what other choice we have."

"Hold on, sluts."

"When I was your age, I was thoughtless about sex."

"If you don't think you're ready, you probably aren't. And if you aren't, well, then no good can come from doing it, anyway."

"The main thing is you have to be perfectly dry. The cryosauna is set to 200 degrees below zero, so any water on your skin freeze instantly."

"How come there hasn't been any screaming?"

"No, we need to get away while we still can."

"Hey, hey, it's enough. The point has been made."

"Why do you want to continue taking this any further?"

"Yes, I feel guilty!"

"Don't you ever call me again."

"I heard about these Buddhist Monks that found a way to meditate, so they can sit outside all night, way, way up in the Himalayas in weather that would kill a normal person, but their core temperature stays totally normal."

"You're thinking of the movie Teen Wolf, you brainless gash, which is not, in fact, a documentary!"

"Uh, Rasputin. He was a mystical Russian peasant who became a close advisor of Tsar Nicholas II because he could magically cure Prince Alexei of his hemophilia."

"Okay, this seems totally not germane to what we're talking about, so can we please just skip ahead?"

"Maybe she has some magical powers that make her unable to die, like some horror movie villain, like Michael Myers, or Jason, or Dr. Giggles."

"So, maybe try on a size zero."

"Okay, I'm not gonna try on the size zero because I won't fit into the size zero."

"This is discrimination!"

"Look at her. Give her something. Give her something to be happy!"

"Come on, what is wrong with these idiots?!"

"Why did you ask me to meet you here? And why are you carrying a bag clearly filled with chains?"

"I thought we could talk about bondage and go for a swim."

"You're all packed up. I thought you were staying until you cracked the case."

"I was just gonna go to the woods and write or something,

like Thoreau, but with WiFi."

"I mean, maybe I could come with you. Might be kind of romantic, you know?"

"I could bring a slow cooker, and we could talk about the case all night over short ribs?"

"Well, I do love short ribs."

"I'll always be able to say that my first was with a great, great, great guy."

"I am a sentient grown woman who has been through

hell the past few weeks, and I'm sitting next to you, now, with open eyes and an open heart, telling you that I want to give myself to you."

[scriptflorist]

How can scam work with florists selling a cheap flower at a very expensive claiming that the flower is an expensive breed. Are there any common types of flowers that get used this way? I'd also need to know how to tell the difference.

Hi there,

Alright, I had to think about how to string this up because… florists don't actually do that? Not in the exact sense that you're talking about because that's incredibly counterproductive and a surefire way for their business to fail…

So why does that not work? For which we first have to look at prices and how florists calculate them. Without getting into the nitty gritty a rule of thumb is that florist take the wholesaler's price times three on average plus tax and that's about what people pay for their average flower. Sometimes it's times four and in very rare cases it's times two. Now, what happens more than often is that florists can't actually do that with all their stock because it would make at least half of it so ridiculously overpriced they would have to move into a richer neighbourhood which of course is counterproductive. So while it can be done for a good two third, the last third actually is calculated rather by the approximate about of money people will spend on the flower in this particular neighbourhood. The cut they take here is then regained by upping the price of something they bought dirt cheap but people will easily pay a little more for. Freesias are a good example for the latter. They usually cost around 20 cents a single and sell for about a Euro. And that really isn't a scam, it's just to make sure the florist either doesn't lose money or actually has some profit at the end of the day.

So do florists tweak the prices a little and maybe sell something for more than it might be worth after an honest calculation? Yeah, sure, but it's never to play somebody a fool. Flowers and especially foliage are costly and a luxury on top that's hard to store for extended periods of time. It's definitely nothing to get mad over. With roses, it's also that the price is influenced by their length and the size of their head. Which a lot of people are confused about until you tell them about it.

Another factor when it comes to prices is, as I've hinted at before, the neighbourhood, the city, the general area of where they live and sell their wares. Because guess what guys, where there's money things are sold at higher prices. Sometimes the difference may seem marginal, but other times it clearly isn't. But that also isn't to meant to scam anybody, especially not when it comes to florists who aren't paid any better than the average retail worker.

All of the above is taken into consideration by the florist when making their prices, after all, stock that doesn't sell is bad stock and sometimes a little cut is worth the while if the florist knows they will at least sell out and have the money to purchase more things their customers actually want. So to say a florist would try to scam their customers in blatantly obvious ways is immensely unlikely because it's actually really hard to convince people to buy flowers because people seldom have any knowledge about flowers. The slightest blemish will have them asking for a discount even though the flowers may be otherwise fine, and they like to buy roses that have barely opened their blossoms… and then they are confused why they don't bloom at all. In short, people got a bit weird standards for flowers in a lot of ways. Some that the plants aren't even responsible for. (If the outer layer of petals on a red rose looks slightly blackish that's fine those are protection petals they're not meant to be pretty.) So needless to say, people don't like to buy flowers that have started blooming and florists who sell them at full price are either very new or very unobservant and certainly not in the scam business. (After all that only results in customers coming back three days later and complaining, wanting a refund – nothing a florist is keen about.)

Expensive plants are usually identified by the fact that they don't grow outside your character's door commonly. Or are generally accessible in the area where they live. So for a lot of regions, those are of course exotic plants that should grow somewhere tropical but of course, this is region specific.

Not even a big company could run a chain of floristries without allowing this at least some price management in terms of marking them up or down. My store has set prices for everything set by corporate but we are allowed to tweak them. Usually, we only mark stuff down cause the things that are worth selling for a little more are few and far between. If corporate didn't allow that they would have run their business into the ground a long time ago because it would not have been worth the profit because there would have been too much waste with everything the customers wouldn't have bought.

And yeah, prices going up before Mother's Day, Valentine's Day and around Christmas and the likes is a bit of a scam because it's been so commercialised that people are willing to pay anything just to have something, but that doesn't make any good drama for a story.

So while not entirely impossible because humans sometimes mess up or do not care or do not know, it is still a very unlikely scenario and someone's probably going to get chewed out for it later. Depending on why the messed up and how the handled it, it might even be no more than a gentle reprimand but still.

Are there any questions left unanswered on your side?

– Mod Jana

Disclaimer

This blog is intended as writing advice only. This blog and its mods are not responsible for accidents, injuries or other consequences of using this advice for real world situations or in any way that said advice was not intended.

[lumiereswig]

hi me again thought I'd send another prompt I hope you don't mind. how about the castle residence plays a giant game of live clue (or mystery murder night). And they all use ridiculous names to call each other. Adam would probably be upset since he'd be mr. body and wouldn't be able to do anything.

it’s actually kinda shocking Disney hasn’t licensed BATB-themed Clue yet. Was it Gaston in the tower with the musket? Lumiere in the dining room with the candelabra? Maurice just accidentally being a dumbass in the library? 

And like Cogsworth is Colonel Mustard. Nobody can tell me otherwise about this.

“No, no, I’m not being the dead body,” said Adam. “Once was enough for anybody. Don’t you people have any respect?”

“Have another drink,” says Lumiere, sloshing the glass a little on its way to Adam’s hand. It is about 2 in the morning, the palace’s tapers are growing cold, and no one’s at their best as they lie around on the floor, wine bottles rolling beside them. The beds are abandoned, and in the corner the musicians giggle and kiss. And mischief—mischief breeds thick and playful among the palace residents.

“Not,” says Adam, after getting the wine down in one go, “the dead. Body.”

“Bien, bien,” says Lumiere, and gestures casually. Wine tips onto Belle, and she awakens with a sudden snort. She hadn’t fallen asleep, she hadn’t.  “But we need someone to be dead, non? That is how the murder game goes. C'est ainsi que fonctionne le jeu, mes choux—”

“You’re speaking Parisian again.”

“Pardonez-moi, I forget to translate for your provincial ears.” He stands, not too steadily. “So! The Prince has expressed interest in being the body—”

“I haven’t, though—”

“And here, I have cards here, for the identities of the perpetrators. Belle? Stay with us, mademoiselle—you must get used to the ways of the court—”

“Staying up until 3 in the morning for a slumber party is a way of the court?” Belle says groggily. She takes her card, though.

“Plumette, ma moitié, this one is for you—Cogsworth, here, put that gun down, this is a fake murder not a real one…here’s your card—”

Cogsworth peers at his card. Fetches out his glasses, and peers at it again.

“I’m playing a stuffy old British military man—hmph! Well! At least he’s respectable. No problems there.”

“He possibly killed a man, mon ami.”

“We all make mistakes.” Cogsworth grumbles and reaches for the chardonnay.

“I play the innocent-seeming ingénue,” says Plumette. She is on the back on the floor, with her legs leaned up against the wall. Upside-down like this, she rolls her eyes up to look at Lumiere. “Mon amour, you did not give me the Miss Swan card on purpose, did you?”

“You presume I know how to cheat at cards,” says Lumiere. His slender hands shuffle the deck with expert precision; Plumette pretends she does not see the card that gets tucked into his sleeve. “And I would only give you that card if I wanted to play Miss Swan’s enigmatic lover, Count Sinistre—oh, what a coincidence! Imagine. C’est formidable.”

He grins at Plumette as he flicks her the card. The others take their pick and sit around to guess the game.

“We’re all trying to guess who killed Adam, then?” says Belle. She’s not at her best at nights.

“I’m not dead!” Adam yells, somewhere from the floor. She sits on top of him to quiet him down; he tries to protest, but he can’t hide that he enjoys this.

“Oui, oui. We must be enigmatic, and drop hints; decide slowly—”

“You did it,” says Mrs. Potts. Of them all, she still has herself the most together, even though she’s drunk more than most of the staff combined. “It’s obvious. Can I open the envelope, now?”

“What?! We haven’t even started!”

“With a candelabra. In the library.”

“At least let me get some backstory in!”

“Backstory? More like kissing Plumette for the sake of ‘being in character,’” Cogsworth says.

“It’s called method acting, mon ami, you uncivilized chunk of fish and chips—”

Belle plucks the envelope out of Lumiere’s hand.

“Mrs. Potts is right,” she says. “Count Sinistre did it. Lumiere, you cheated, didn’t you?”

“Que puis-je dire? J'adore ce jeu.”

“Lumiere. Translation. Again.” Adam has been trying to move Belle for the last five minutes; she laughs and settles herself harder on his legs. “Can we not play a normal game? Chess, or something?”

Plumette stretches; Lumiere gets distracted, she looks so divine. Her wig is askew, yes, her stockings half gone, but oh—she is flawless, flawless.

“Seven minutes in heaven? Plumette and I will go first.”

“Lumiere!”

They’re already gone, just as the tapers go out. Somewhere, they can hear them laughing in the dark.